#Seen and Heard

[orbitariums]

BRING REBLOGGING BACK i miss when people had essays to write in reblogs/replies now everyone just goes about their day (applying this to myself as well)

[beme-teen-mental-health]

We asked our BeMe Teen Advisory Board what they’re watching these days to help boost their mental health -here’s what Tristan said.

See what other movies & shows other teens are streaming in our new #SeenAndHeard feature in the BeMe app.

[anarchythephoenix]

this is the first goddamn post i see after logging on to this hell site after TERRIBLE shift. I have never felt more seen than in this very moment

[yeesiine]

Making someone feel seen, heard and understood is the loudest way to love them.

[goldensunset]

a real blorbo is someone you can both write a lengthy and serious/sad analysis on yet also constantly and i mean constantly make stupid jokes about

[ineskew]

no one warns you of this but the more indie & international films you watch the worse american blockbusters look in comparison. be safe out there

[chloesimaginationthings]

Shout out to FNAF phone guy finally getting a name!

[shroomwar]

These two idiots kill me because what Crowley is hearing from Aziraphale is, “I am able to look past your demonic nature because I love you so much, but if there was a way, I would change that part of you” and what Crowley wants to hear is, “I look at all of you and I love all of you”

Meanwhile Aziraphale’s actually saying, “I love every version of you that I’ve known, but I miss the smile you had when I met you and I would give anything to bring that joy back”

[bixels]

I watched Starship Troopers tonight.

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[pollyanna-nana]

Did anyone else notice that seemingly one of the first things they did after bringing Thistle into the kingdom was cut his hair short?

And given what Marcille says about how important hair is to magic…. That’s probably not a coincidence.

[oifaaa]

Caved and read the last couple chapters of mha I gotta say they really did the most relatable thing ever by saying 1-A are too busy being adults to actually meet up and hang out in person like honestly have you ever tried planning a hang out session with a adult friend group with 3 or more people in it I swear planning a heist would be easier

[scrambleseggy]

When people think women aren’t capable of misogyny I have to laugh because misogyny isn’t men just being creepy and weird and rating women on reddit. It’s not just statistics on violence and crime stories, even though that is a big part of it.

It’s also republican moms and mean girl sisters who encourage competition between women as peak femininity. It’s also women who think having friends is an equivalent to a bravo TV show that includes hair pulling and slut-shaming. It’s also women who tell you certain things make you ugly and “look like a man.” Women who make fun of feminine features in men. It’s women who think the best way to deal with a patriarchal system is by trying to befriend it so they can try to benefit off of it by “not being like other girls” — the way people boil feminism down to the proximity of femininity and masculinity on the internet really bothers me. Some of the worst misogynists I’ve known in my life have been the republican women I’ve grown up around.

[dcxdpdabbles]

Damian: Father, where is Alfred? I need his counsel on an issue. Bruce: He stepped out for some errands, but I can help in his place. What's the issue? Damian: No. Even I am more knowledgeable in the ways of the heart than you. I shall wait for Alfred's return. Bruce mouthing: In the ways of the heart? Later that evening: ........ Bruce: Did Damian talk to you about his problem today, Alfred? Alfred: Yes, Master Bruce. The lad seemed to be sweet on a classmate and was seeking guidance on how to approach the young man. Bruce: Why didn't he come to me!? I could help him! Alfred: Seeing as you failed to get Jack Fenton to glance in your direction, let alone consider you a romantic partner, I fail to see how you would help Master Damian with Danny Fenton. Bruce: Jack Fenton has a son!? A son Damian fancies!? Alfred: Yes, he does. Interestingly enough, I had a similar conversation with your father back when he learned Anthony Fenton's son was Jack. Bruce: I can't believe this. It's always the Fentons. WHY CAN'T THEY EVER LOVE US BACK?! Alfred: Well, you know what they say. The third time is the charm. Perhaps Master Damian will have better luck than you or your father did. Bruce: Do you really belive that? Alfred: Oh not at all. I've seen the way Mr.Fenton looks at Master Damian. That is not the expression of a boy who fancies someone. Rather, I would say it's the one a butcher aims at a cow for slaughter. Bruce sighing: And the cycle of heart break contuines.

[chloesimaginationthings]

Vanessa TOTALLY got those Tapes for the FNAF lore..