#and when i was a little kid i heard popular in an amv and then it was my guilty pleasure

[estrangedandwayward]

I hope wicked 2 ends with an 8 1/2 minute long gratuitous lesbian sex scene with crying and handholding while fiyero politely waits outside. For the girls

[insanelyadd]

If the song fits it fits, regardless of possible embarrassment. Anyway, lets hear what songs you put together, and what your reasons are!

Oh ho ho, you just gave me a chance to talk about music, hee hee hoo hoo.

Okay so I'll start with the playlist I made for the Collector, as a heads up note about all of these playlists, I am far from done, so while they're all short right now, I will be getting around to adding more.

Through Glass by Stone Sour -

'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass Don't know how much time has passed All I know is that it feels like forever When no one ever tells you that forever feels like home Sitting all alone inside your head How do you feel? That is the question But I forget you don't expect an easy answer When something like a soul becomes initialized And folded up like paper dolls and little notes You can't expect a bit of hope So while you're outside looking in Describing what you see Remember what you're staring at is me (...) How much is real? So much to question An epidemic of the mannequins Contaminating everything We thought came from the heart It never did right from the start Just listen to the noises (Null and void instead of voices) Before you tell yourself It's just a different scene Remember it's just different from what you've seen (...) And it's the stars The stars that shine for you And it's the stars The stars that lie to you, yeah-ah And it's the stars The stars that shine for you And it's the stars The stars that lie to you, yeah-ah

I cannot stress enough that these are the actual lyrics and I did not move them around or anything, all I did was remove the repeating verses/choruses. This song came out in 2006. An absolute shoe-in to be used in AMVs for this little guy except it's a rock song from 2006 and not an indie-pop song from the last five years and it's also not popular.

I was doing my usual thing like a week or two ago where I go through a bunch of songs I heard on the radio when I was in elementary school and as I was relistening to this song I felt like I had lost my mind. I remember relating to this song a lot when I was little kid because the song is about being lonely, and I think the Collector would relate to it too. More kids should listen to rock music from the 2000s because I am deluded* and think a lot of it is good. Music critics tremble before me when they try to say nu metal is bad and I just say "Nah".

(*Yes I do have psychosis and have delusions for realsies, I can use this word)

After this it's all under the cut because this post will end up being long because I fucking love talking about lyrics and the fun little picture shows my brain makes when I hear a song that fits a character. if you don't feel like reading the Archivists playlist discussion be happy knowing I summed all of them up in one picture:

No Lullaby by Siames -

What's the meaning when you have a broken home, home, home? Where's the love when you were left on your own? So alone

The most relevant lyrics in the song are the chorus because the verses on this song are super abstract, like more than their other songs that I've heard. Final lines of the song are the above lines but instead of "so alone" it says "Who says you're on your own?" which feels like how their arc concludes in the show.

All the Best by Siames -

Let's play pretend now Don't be afraid, no Stop being worried this could be the way We are what we made up Ready for a new start Follow your dreams no other way will be that great And I'll keep searching for all the best Picture yourself in a rocket and believe you can be anything you want The meaning of our actions feeds the power of attraction, let it flow Just let it flow It's right under our noses Going through our minds With passion and devotion (with passion and devotion) Your light can be our sun

I feel the lyrics here are pretty self-explanatory. Since the band is Argentinian I'm going to forgive any wonkyness in the lyrics.

Steal My Sunshine by LEN -

Genuinely the lyrics for this song are very abstract but apparently it was written when the brother and sister of the group were having a fight. Though I think the lines "And of course you can't become if you only say what you would have done, So I missed a million miles of fun" are pretty good. Also it sort of just sounds like a song he would like.

Island In The Sun by Wheezer -

On an island in the sun We'll be playing and having fun And it makes me feel so fine I can't control my brain We'll run away together We'll spend some time forever We'll never feel bad anymore

Escapism, sun motif, easy pick for the Collector. Plus the song itself has this sort of fun, laid back up-beatness to it.

Kids by MGMT -

You were a child, crawling on your knees toward it Making momma so proud But your voice is too loud We like to watch you laughing You pick the insects off plants No time to think of consequences Control yourself Take only what you need from it A family of trees wanting To be haunted (...) The memories fade like looking through a fogged mirror Decision to decisions are made and not bought But I thought this wouldn't hurt a lot, I guess not

I made a whole AMV for the Collector and King set to this song, it's a perfect fit, if I were to post all the relevant lyrics I would probably end up posting the whole song. Actually fuck it I'll post them anyways for everyone who's never heard this song.

Fine by Lemon Demon - (the sped up version)

Light is on the way, we'll be having a fun time It's such a lovely day, we should pocket the sunshine And never give it back, even if there's a heat wave We're stalling on the track, it will just be a close shave I know (I know) That in a snap, all the birds will sing I know (I know) I'm full of crap, but still Everything works out nice in the end The sun will marry the moon It'll be fine Why don't we sit back, mellow again And have a nice afternoon? It'll be fine

I feel like this is a fun song for them. Once again sun and moon imagery in the song, outwardly cheerful and bouncy in that way, but menacing at the same time.

GRRRLS by Aviva - (specifically the version that's a Collector animatic)

I can't explain it better than the video explains itself, so here's a link

Best of You by Foo Fighters -

I've got another confession to make I'm your fool Everyone's got their chains to break Holding you Were you born to resist or be abused? Is someone getting the best, the best, the best The best of you?

I think it fits thematically with the Collector breaking free from the cycle of abuse he was subjected to.

When I'm Gone by 3 Doors Down -

So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong Hold me when I'm scared and love me when I'm gone Everything I am and everything in me Wants to be the one you wanted me to be I'll never let you down even if I could I'd give up everything if only for your good So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong You can hold me when I'm scared, you won't always be there So love me when I'm gone Love me when I'm gone But when your education x-ray cannot see under my skin I won't tell you a damn thing that I could not tell my friends Been roaming through this darkness, I'm alive but I'm alone And part of me is fighting this but part of me is gone

Most annoying thing on the face of the earth when you're making playlists for child characters or siblings with terrible relationships is probably that every goddamn song you find where the lyrics are vague enough to be interpreted as a familial relationship and not romantic was probably still originally written to be romantic *strangles amatonormativity with my bare fucking hands for an hour straight*

So anyways in this context the song is about the Collector trying to reconcile their feelings about their family being shitty with their want to connect and love people and be comforted by the familiar.

Now for the playlists for the Archivists. I encourage you to look at the scroll bar on your screen. I will not judge you for looking at it and deciding you've read enough, especially since my Archivists (anyone's Archivists really) are totally made up and are basically OCs inhabiting a hole left by canon. I still have fun with them tho.

Penumbra first because she has the shortest playlist (Sorry Penny it's hard to find songs about being stressed by raising your younger siblings and being emotionally and mentally drained by stress)

Help! by The Beatles -

So much younger than today (I never need) I never needed anybody's help in any way (Now) but now these days are gone (these days are gone) I'm not so self assured (And now I find) now I find I've changed my mind And opened up the doors (...) In oh so many ways (My independ-) my independence seems to vanish in the haze (But) but every now and then (now and then) I feel so insecure

Once again on closer inspection of the lyrics I think this is AGAIN about romance. I choose to ignore it. I Do Not See It. I'm taking the implications out back and shooting them. Mainly I chose this song because it was kind of funny for everyone's playlists to be songs from the last 30 years mostly and Penny is out here like "I relate to this Beatles song which is a literal cry for help" someone save this woman (nonbinary).

Stressed Out by twenty one pilots -

Sometimes a certain smell will take me back to when I was young How come I'm never able to identify where it's coming from? I'd make a candle out of it if I ever found it Try to sell it, never sell out of it, I'd probably only sell one

*putting on a very serious face* She's stressed, she yearns for the nostalgia of when she wasn't responsible for so many things. The part about making money means nothing because I don't think Collectors participate in any economy because it's implied they don't need to eat and they could probably just magic up whatever they want/need.

Dog Days Are Over by Florence and the Machine -

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers Leave all your love and your longing behind You can't carry it with you if you want to survive And I never wanted anything from you Except everything you had and what was left after that too, oh Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back Struck from a great height by someone who should know better than that

She wants to stop being so stressed out all the time but I think if she suddenly stopped experiencing it she would probably explode. Girl needs a therapist so badly. And a vacation. I like this song because when I looked up the meaning it was like "Bad days will end and things will get better one day" and the lyrics describe the incoming happiness as graphically fatal and terrifying in its approach like being hit by a fucking train in the first two lines of the song.

D.A.N.C.E. by Justice -

No need to analyze the lyrics here, I think she would just genuinely like this song and dance to it, though I think part of it is that there's a little bit of desperation in the way it's sung, like "please dance you have to dance or you will die" which is probably how she would feel if she was given time to relax like "oh wow this has never happened before, am I supposed to be afraid?"

Next I'll do Crescent because why not. "Birth" order, sure. Also Crescent's songs should be fairly easy to explain

The Pretender by Foo Fighters -

Keep you in the dark You know they all pretend Keep you in the dark And so it all began Send in your skeletons Sing as their bones go marching in again They need you buried deep The secrets that you keep are ever ready Are you ready? (...) What if I say I'm not like the others? What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays? You're the pretender What if I say I will never surrender? I'm the voice inside your head You refuse to hear I'm the face that you have to face Mirroring your stare I'm what's left, I'm what's right I'm the enemy I'm the hand that'll take you down Bring you to your knees So, who are you? Yeah, who are you? Yeah, who are you? Yeah, who are you? Keep you in the dark You know they all pretend

I mean. She's a liar, a pretender, she's keeping a secret (having their parent taken away) from her siblings. He's an evil bastard. This explanation will be the standard response to most songs in this playlist but maybe from different angles.

Dangerous by Big Data ft Joywave -

Nobody's listening when we're alone Nobody's listening, there's nobody listening, No one can hear us when we're alone No one can hear us, no, no one can hear us And I've gotta get out of here Sink down, into the dark Keep on running I've gotta get out of here (Keep on running) Sink down, into the dark You understand, they got a plan for us I bet you didn't know that I was dangerous It must be fate, I found a place for us I bet you didn't know someone could love you this much

A little bit uncharacteristically paranoid for Crescent tbh, but the song is fucking awesome and even though the most fitting part of the song is only one line "I bet you didn't know that I was dangerous" it is sung in this sort of taunting way that really has enough threatening intent to be perfect for him.

Miss Murder by AFI -

With just a look, they shook And heavens bowed before him Simply a look can break your heart The stars that pierce the sky He left them all behind We're left to wonder why He left us all behind

After reading the lyrics I have a suspicion they aren't what 10 year old me interpreted them to be about. That's alright. I can imagine the verses are about all the times Crescent has made cults to worship her (I have a HC that Collectors primarily do this as a means of acquiring samples from all the planets they visit because it's easier to convince the most advanced life on the planet that you are a god who demands tribute and getting them to mobilize for you VS going around finding all the animals and plants and whatever else yourself).

I Can't Decide by Scissor Sisters -

I've got to hand it to you You've played by all the same rules It takes the truth to fool me And now you've made me angry I can't decide Whether you should live or die Oh, you'll probably go to heaven Please don't hang your head and cry No wonder why My heart feels dead inside It's cold and hard and petrified Lock the doors and close the blinds We're going for a ride

Did I tell you guys??? Did I mention??? Crescent likes to kill people???? Most interesting part of this choice is how the truth will fool him, which is true. If she believes something that isn't true about you and makes the wrong assumptions based on that it's better for you in the long run, though continued exposure to her increases the chances that he'll eventually realize he made the wrong guess and then he'll get Very Mad about it.

Breezeblocks by alt-J -

No lyrical analysis because yeah they don't really fit but I like the song for the vibe, mainly the ending, though that sort of repetitive mania isn't really in line with how I characterize Crescent. I personally love it, this song triggers my mania sometimes and it's great.

Lone Digger by Caravan Palace -

Another one where it's less about how I write the character and more about what I think she'd like to listen or dance to. I think she would enjoy the frantic energy of the song.

You're Gonna Go Far Kid by Offspring -

Show me how to lie, you're getting better all the time And turning all against the one is an art that's hard to teach Another clever word sets off an unsuspecting herd And as you step back into line, a mob jumps to their feet (...) With a thousand lies and a good disguise Hit 'em right between the eyes Hit 'em right between the eyes When you walk away, nothing more to say See the lightning in your eyes See 'em running for their lives Slowly out of line, and drifting closer in your sight So play it out, I'm wide awake, it's a scene about me There's something in your way and now someone is gonna pay And if you can't get what you want, well, it's all because of me

I feel like the picture here is clear, liar, manipulative, doesn't show her true face so she's always in disguise (metaphorically), the implication of murder/fighting. *slaps the hood of this song* This baby can fit so many of Crescent's worst qualities in it.

I Get It by CheVelle -

So you say you're ignored, as it is Well, give us your sad, sad trip You're right, I get it It all makes sense, you're the perfect person So bright, so wrong Let's all live in your imaginary life Assumed it's whether We're right, or wrong We're doomed and there's plenty for all How dare you catch me counting? How dare you call at all? How dare you call this suffering? How dare you call at all?

Crescent's inner monologue if either of the Twins voice their concerns about anything. Someone needs to hit him with a car.

Annihilation by A Perfect Circle -

It's your choice, your choice, your choice, your choice, Peace or annihilation

This song I think is originally about the American military industrial complex and nuclear war. So anyways for my dumb little OC's playlist this is basically the choice they give the people of the planets they visit if they start to get hostile. "Hey, I know things are tense but have you considered that I will boil your oceans and burn your world to ash if you don't choose to be nice?" Obviously it's also another instance of the song only really having one or two lines that strongly fit the vibe but you see the vision?

You're Going Down by Sick Puppies -

Define your meaning of war To me, it's what we do when we're bored I feel the heat comin' off of the blacktop And it makes me want it more Because I'm hyped up, out of control If it's a fight, I'm ready to go I wouldn't put my money on the other guy If you know what I know that I know (...) This is hardly worth fighting for But it's the little petty shit that I can't ignore When my fist hits your face and your face hits the floor It'll be a long time comin' Bet you got the message now 'Cause I was never goin' Yeah, you're the one that's going down

Oh hey one thing I haven't said about Crescent yet is she sometimes beats the shit out of her siblings (mainly Solari who instigates it on purpose even though she knows she'll lose because it's worth it to them to get under his skin). Well when I say "beats the shit out of them" I mean it more like Crescent can get a single good solid hit in and it knocks Solari down and the fight is over. Solari has never actually been mad enough to push their luck into a full-on brawl with Crescent. If Solari actually, for real, wants to fight him then she duels him with magic instead because it's an even match-up.

Next up I'll do Solari

She also has You're Going Down, but intended from the opposite perspective, while Crescent is the singer, Solari is the listener.

The Red by CheVelle -

The red Well, it filters through So lay down The threat is real When his sight Goes red again Seeing red again Seeing red again

You might be wondering, is this another song from Solari's perspective about Crescent? No. Solari gets so mad she basically loses all control of herself, hence the destruction of property she does. If they ever got actually mad enough to actually fight Crescent for real with their hands, she would be a very dirty fighter. She sees Crescent on her missions visiting the worlds of mortals. She's watched him fight for thousands of years. Crescent has never seen Solari fight with their hands. She might not be as physically strong as he is but she would be able to have the advantage of Crescent not knowing what to expect. Plus if Satellite is there and something has made their twin THAT mad then they would join in too.

Headstrong by Trapt -

Conclusions manifest Your first impressions got to be your very best I see you're full of shit and that's alright That's how you play, I guess you get through every night Well, now that's over I see your fantasy You wanna make it a reality paved in gold See inside, inside of our heads, yeah Well, now that's over I see your motives inside Decisions to hide Back off, I'll take you on Headstrong to take on any one I know that you are wrong Headstrong, we're headstrong

Solari's mind when they're about to start shit with Crescent again. Unrelated I saw the band was marked red on my screen earlier and I was like "???" for a half second before remembering the lead singer is a dipshit loser who whines on twitter and facebook because I guess he has nothing better to do. May the miserable cretin never chart again.

Oh No! by Marina -

I just wanna change I just wanna change I just wanna change I just wanna change I just wanna change I know exactly what I want and who I want to be I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine I'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy Oh! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no, oh! One track mind, one track heart If I fail, I'll fall apart Maybe it is all a test 'Cause, I feel like I'm the worst So I always act like I'm the best

We've come to the portion of the playlist where Solari is consumed by guilt and regret. It's actually not separated like that, I'm just saying these lines speak to how she wants to change who she is as a person because she realizes she doesn't like who she currently is. Not that Penumbra or Crescent would know she's trying to get better, because Solari doesn't respect either of them and does not put in effort into improving herself for them, she's doing it for her little brother, the Collector. Even if she never gets to see them again.

Bother by Stone Sour -

Wish I was too dead to cry My self-affliction fades Stones to throw at my creator Masochists to which I cater You don't need to bother I don't need to be I'll keep slipping farther But once I hold on I won't let go 'til it bleeds Wish I was too dead to care If indeed I cared at all Never had a voice to protest So you fed me shit to digest I wish I had a reason My flaws are open season For this, I gave up trying One good turn deserves my dying

I did mention they are being eaten alive by guilt and regrets right? This is for when Solari is having a bad time in her head.

Riot by Three Days Grace -

If you feel so empty So used up, so let down If you feel so angry So ripped off, so stepped on You're not the only one refusing to back down You're not the only one, so get up Let's start a riot A riot Let's start a riot

Solari is ready and back to being angry. They totally would incite a riot if they felt like they had a good enough reason to start one.

Fine Again by Seether -

And I am aware now Of how everything's gonna be fine One day, too late, I'm in Hell I am prepared now Seems everyone's gonna be fine One day, too late, just as well I feel a dream in me expire And there's no one left to blame it on I hear you label me a liar 'Cause I can't seem to get this through

Just kidding it's Solari Emo Hours again. The only line in the song that doesn't really apply are the lines about staying sober because I HC that there isn't really any chemical that has any effect on Collectors like that. Anyways this is Solari being like "Wow the two older siblings were able to just go back to pretending everything is fine after getting rid of our baby sibling what the fuck."

These next three songs Solari shares with Satellite so I'll talk about why I chose them for both.

Send the Pain Below by CheVelle -

I liked having hurt So send the pain below Where I need it You used to beg me to take care of things And smile at the thought of me failing But long before having hurt I'd send the pain below I'd send the pain below Much like suffocating Much like suffocating (...) You used to run me away all while laughing Then cry about the fact 'til I returned But long before having hurt I'd send the pain below I'd send the pain below

This is a bit messy but whenever the lines say "You did this" that's a perspective shift for the line from the twins' perspective to The Collector. Basically another song about the twins regretting being shitheads to their baby brother.

Breaking The Habit by Linkin Park -

Memories consume Like opening the wound I'm picking me apart again You all assume I'm safe here in my room Unless I try to start again I don't want to be the one The battles always choose 'Cause inside I realize That I'm the one confused I don't know what's worth fighting for Or why I have to scream I don't know why I instigate And say what I don't mean I don't know how I got this way I know it's not alright So, I'm breaking the habit I'm breaking the habit tonight

I'm going to assume some of this song is about some type of addiction. I'm disregarding that. Anyways the part about behavioral issues and not knowing why you act the way you do does align with the twins, and I mentioned it previously with Solari, about her trying to get better for the Collector, if he ever returns, but the same applies to Satellite. Though Satellite is at least attempting to practice this with Penumbra and Crescent. It's kind of difficult because they're so afraid of both of them, and Crescent avoids talking to them whenever he's actually around.

Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men -

I don't like walking around this old and empty house So hold my hand, I'll walk with you my dear The stairs creak as you sleep It's keeping me awake It's the house telling you to close your eyes And some days I can't even dress myself It's killing me to see you this way 'Cause though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore There's an old voice in my head That's holding me back Well, tell her that I miss our little talks Soon it will be over and buried with our past We used to play outside when we were young And full of life and full of love Some days I don't know if I am wrong or right Your mind is playing tricks on you, my dear 'Cause though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore Don't listen to a word I say (Hey) The screams all sound the same (Hey) And though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore You're gone, gone, gone away I watched you disappear All that's left is a ghost of you Now we're torn, torn, torn apart There's nothing we can do Just let me go, we'll meet again soon Now wait, wait, wait for me, please hang around I'll see you when I fall asleep

Yeah it's basically the full song. Once again the lyrics were vague and I had to dig around to find out it was written with romance in mind but I am sending my fucking mind beams out and blowing that up. Anyways tell me this couldn't be about Satellite and Solari's guilt for how they treated their little sibling and the last verse here where they "watched you disappear" is about when the Collector was imprisoned, and the torn apart bit is how they feel about their family. I might not identify as asexual anymore (further testing necessary I'll get back to you all on this if it turns out to be true) but I am still going to be fucking grabbing songwriters in my mouth and violently shaking them. Please can you just write complex interesting relationships into songs without being "OH YEAH IT'S ROMANCE" man there's other types of love. Please. I am on my fucking hands and knees.

*double checks playlist* Oh shit Fine Again by Seether is also on Satellite's playlist. Same explanation applies. Don't feel like moving shit around and adding accommodations in the existing text, I've been working on this for four hours because I have severe ADHD and I am dogshit at prioritizing anything.

If you get this far comment on the post about my brave stance that if a candle smells good enough I would eat it. It hasn't happened yet but my toasted coconut s'more candle tempts me every fucking time I smell it.

Anyways now it's Just Satellite

Unwell by Matchbox Twenty -

Hold on, feelin' like I'm headed for a breakdown And I don't know why But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know, right now you can't tell But stay a while and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know, right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be, me

Fun fact I actually listen to this song when I feel like I might be about to have a bout of existential terror or some other flavor of mental breakdown and singing along to it calms me down. Obviously, Satellite would be able to relate about feeling gripped by a nebulous madness that Changes You when it hits. I actually have an idea for what I might have unintentionally gave them. Like. This is buried deep enough no one will hit it.

Anyways like a few days after I wrote my fucking long ass post about the Archivists and Collector's relationships and related HC and shit I began wondering. "Am I Autistic??" Asked a friend who is autistic and has ADHD at the same time (like what I would have if the answer to this wonder is yes) and she gave me some things to read about it and I was like "oh my fucking god this is literally all me." and then, because I'm some type of menace freak and I reread my posts that I like frequently, I reread my post about the Archivists and shit and I was like "Ah fuck are they all autistic??? I knew I couldn't write neurotypical people because I have literally never been one but seriously??????"

Point is: I might be autistic. Mentioning it here and now because it seems like getting an actual diagnosis is going to be a huge fucking pain in the ass and won't happen for months. And I might have made the Archivists all autistic or probably other slivers of my various other mental illnesses because I am physically incapable writing a neurotypical person. Circling around to what started this tangent: Satellite absolutely has autistic meltdowns. I don't know if ADHD people get meltdowns like how I imagine Satellite gets them, but they are modeled after My Own experiences with having meltdowns. So anyways back to music analysis in relation to my dumbass little OCs.

Bound For The Floor by Local H -

Born to be down I've learned all my lessons before now Born to be down I think you'll get used to it And you just don't get it, you keep it copacetic And you learn to accept it, you know you're so pathetic (...) Born to be down I think that I've said this before now Born to be down What good is confidence?

I've actually always related this song to mental illness, ever since I was a kid, I always associated the song with the struggles of growing up neurodivergent and how it beats you down and you learn to accept it and live with it.

Words As Weapons by Seether -

All I really want is something beautiful to say Keep me locked up in your broken mind I keep searchin', never been able to find a Light behind your dead eyes Not anything at all You keep living in your own lie, ever-deceitful and ever-unfaithful Keep me guessin', keep me terrified Take everything from my world (...) Keep me dumb, keep me paralyzed Why try swimming? I'm drowning in fables You're not that saint that you externalize You're not anything at all It's oh-so playful when you demonize To spit out the hateful, you're willing and able Words are weapons I'd be terrified You're nothing in my world

Now a song for how Satellite feels about Crescent. Once again, about a person who lies and projects a self that isn't true to who they really are, and the singer is terrified of them, which fits because that's how Satellite feels about their older brother. Crescent is physically strong and gifted with weapons but her best weapon is her charisma and charm and how she uses it to manipulate people.

Keep Talking by Pink Floyd -

There's a silence surrounding me I can't seem to think straight I sit in the corner And no one can bother me I think I should speak now (why won't you talk to me?) I can't seem to speak now (you never talk to me) My words won't come out right (what are you thinking?) I feel like I'm drowning (what are you feeling?) I'm feeling weak now (why won't you talk to me?) But I can't show my weakness (you never talk to me) I sometimes wonder (what are you thinking?) Where do we go from here (what are you feeling?) I feel like I'm drowning (You never talk to me) you know I can't breathe now (What are you thinking?) We're going nowhere (What are you feeling?) We're going nowhere (Why won't you talk to me?) (You never talk to me) (What are you thinking?) (Where do we go from here?)

Now I saved this one for last even though it was literally the first song I ever started associating with Satellite because I think it really fits them. I think this is what it's like from their perspective when they have a meltdown. I don't really know how else to describe it so I guess I'll break this down line by line because sunk cost fallacy at this point why not.

"There's a silence surrounding me" in my own experience with meltdowns, which is what Satellite's are based off of, I find that all the blood rushes to my ears and I sort of lose the ability to recognize sound?

"I can't seem to think straight" probably self-explanatory but in my experience I stop having coherent thought and kind of only think in impulses.

"I sit in the corner, and no one can bother me," though this wasn't always the case (like when you're a child experiencing this you don't really understand what is even happening, and you develop this later in like when it's more like "ah this shit again") you will typically try to remove yourself from the situation that is causing you the distress that makes you have a meltdown in the first place.

"I think I should speak now, I can't seem to speak now, My words won't come out right" this could either be interpreted as a meltdown where you just shut down and stop talking or a meltdown where you fucking scream, I tended to have ones where I would just scream, but that might be because when I get the other way I end up crying silently instead so I might have filed those moments away as just normal "I am sad" moments?

"I feel like I'm drowning" meltdowns can be overwhelming, and when I'm overwhelmed I tend to stop my feet and flail my arms and sort of contort myself because?? I don't know. It feels like I'm trying to escape my own body honestly. Drowning in myself.

"I'm feeling weak now, but I can't show my weakness" this shit is fucking humiliating to have happen in public and around other people man, it sucks ass.

So anyways that is my ridiculously long ass post about music and my little bastards (and baby, the Collector is only baby) that I spent FIVE HOURS writing. I am going to go wash my hands because Bad Texture, drink some water, and then get floor time which is time where I lie face down on my floor and pretend to be a dead body.

[lostlegendaerie]

☔️ for the meme

Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it?

So this is less of a fic and more of an AMV but. Y'all heard the song Labor by Paris Paloma?

It's from the point of view of a woman who basically runs the entire house/homestead for a husband who does little but verbally abuse her for her efforts. "It's not an act of love if you make her" is a good arc phrase.

Simultaneously, anyone here watch Naruto? Remember Sasuke, that black-haired, super popular angsty boy who betrayed his village and ran away to join the bad guys and just kept making the worst, most selfish choices over and over again? Yeah he marries Sakura, the girl he belittled and rejected constantly, puts a baby in her (I think Salad is their biological kid) and then leaves after getting a full pardon for his crimes, leaving the president's prodigy (a badass fucking PUNCH MEDIC) to be a housewife.

Anyway. I just think Sakura from the Boruto timeline should get to realize that she was just used by Sasuke to get away with all his bullshit, find a way to go back in time, and kill him/catch him before the events of Shippuden even occur. Also I think that song needs another layer of instruments in the final chorus, something just to kick it up another notch, but that's me. I get REAL upset when cool women in fiction get slapped as the stay at home mom in the sequel, especially in the case of someone whose 'love interest' was exceptionally cruel to her at every possible point and didn't even stick around to help raise the kid; and the narrative is apparently fine with that????

but yeah. I want Sakura to beat Sasuke to a pulp. :)

[cotton-candy-in-a-thong]

A realization that probably won't make sense past 6am

Okay let's do this. I'm pretty sure everyone and their mother has heard that song. You know, that super popular song that goes like "monster, how should I feel, creatures lie here, looking through the window"?

This song. This song right here. This song was freaking everywhere, especially back in the 2010s when every AMV maker in existence used this song for at least one angsty video. This shit was like the emo anthem for daddy issues galore, but let's keep this whole thing moving.

So what is this song about? Well according to Meg Frampton (y'know, the Meg in Meg and Dia), “'Monster' is about a book called East of Eden by John Steinbeck. He explains his own term 'monster' which refers to an individual having received no love as a child, which further transformed that person into a rapist or murderer, or some other unexplainable phenomenon. If a child receives no love they will end up a 'monster'" (her quote from here: https://genius.com/Meg-and-dia-monster-lyrics#about).

So when listening to this song on a nostalgia playlist, my slasher-fucker brain couldn't help but listen to the lyrics and form a connection between them and a specific character this fandom knows damn well about.

Let's get it out of the way: I'm talking about Bo Sinclair.

Now why am I drawing connections between this over-a-decade old song and a fictional slasher whose fictional breath probably smells like fictional cigarettes? Let's go over the lyrics, and Bo's life:

"His little whispers, "Love me, love me!" That's all I ask for, "Love me, love me!" He battered his tiny fists to feel something Wondered what it's like to touch and feel something"

So this lyric is referring to a clearly love-starved child who has received no real compassion and care from his own parents. The fact that the kid has tiny fists displays how young the child is. This emotional trauma is taking place at a very young age, before puberty even began for this poor boy. The lack of proper socializing with the main people who are supposed to guide him has led to him wanting more from the world, wanting more physical contact, more emotional bonding.

So anyone who has paid attention to the beginning of the movie will see how this lyric fits into Bo's childhood. His parents didn't have the patience to properly raise Bo. Instead of showing compassion and kindness, they showed him brute punishment for simply not knowing how to act. Children from abusive households often grow up to have a starved, and warped sense of what love and respect is. As Bo is emotionally starving, you can see where this leads to him searching for "compassion" through violence and sexual abuse as he grows into adulthood (as shown with Carly in the basement). "Monster, how should I feel? Creatures lie here, looking through the windows"

Okay so in my understanding of this quote, this lyric is actually in the perspective of the "monster" asking himself this question. In the story that Meg and Dia have created as the inspiration of this song: the young boy, named 'Henry' would always be sent to his mediocre little room where there was little else to do than sit and stare out the window to all the animals and people who are living their best lives. This demonstrates a large case of physical and social isolation. He can neither talk or interact with anything beyond his own home, which again, amplified the theme of a child being forced to grow up without learning how to navigate the world and its inhabitants, forcing himself to ask how he should even feel and "what's normal?".

Now, Bo was also physically held back from communicating with the world, as you can tell by his highchair restraints. However, Bo mentions in the movie that him and Vincent were sent to foster homes once their mother has died, implying that he and his brother were still children when she passed away. Bo takes extra note on this, referring to the fact that he and his brother being sent to foster homes in a negative way. Not only Bo does not take pride in his foster life, but you can see that his wrist scars are still very much prevalent in appearance. I'm gonna say it now, there's a good implication that Bo wasn't treated so well in his foster home either. This means that, for pretty much his whole life, Bo was cheated out of developing a healthy sense of emotions, and a reasonable outlook on love as well as respect, by the authority figures around him. "How should I feel?" is likely a question that Bo has asked himself somewhere in his life. He struggles, internally, while every person, animal and roadkill around him just stare into his window of subtle misery.

"That night he caged her, bruised and broke her He struggled closer, then he stole her Violet wrists and then her ankles, silent pain

Then he slowly saw their nightmares were his dreams"

So this is the big nasty. This line blatantly describes the part in Meg and Dia's story where Henry, the "monster", has snatched up a random girl to subject for sexual abuse. Remember when I said that childhood abuse can badly distort one's sense of boundaries, love, and safety? Yeah, this shows here. Henry is so fucked up from his parents' abuse growing up, that he has failed to recognize the very thick line between forcing yourself on another individual out of emotional and physical desperation (or even just control), and developing a healthy relationship with another human being.

As shown with taping Carly up in the basement, the dirty mattress, and the polaroids, Bo has fallen down the same path as Henry. Bo was prevented from learning what real love and respect is. Bo was raised with violence and venomous control, and that became that main thing he understood as an adult. As an adult, Bo took pleasure in sexually abusing people, as the movie implies. Here, his own victims' nightmares also became his dreams as he inevitably fell into a sociopathic mindset from his awful past. "Monster, how should I feel? Creatures lie here, looking through the windows"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Time will hear their voices, I'm a glass child I am Hannah's regret"

By "their voices" the lyric, in my opinion, is referring to all the people who've seen Henry for the wreck of a human being he became. The "monster" he is. One of the voices is the girl he has sexually abused. Hannah is Henry's mother. This piece is an obvious nod at the fact that Henry never had a good relationship with his own mother and is her living regret in life. Henry being a "glass child" is a metaphor for Henry being a fragile person. Henry is so fragile and desperate for validation and affection that he'll abuse someone to receive an illusion of such connection. "Mother Time" will catch onto what Henry has done, and punish him with karma.

And Bo has too, wronged quite some people. The polaroids tell all, and justice can only hope that his victims' voices will come back to haunt him. Bo is also a glass child as he's fragile about his own emotions. We see this when Bo snaps at Vincent, calling him stupid for taking initiative without him. As for being a regret...what mother could physically abuse her child and love him under the same actions?

Now, what's going to be the karma for Henry and Bo for what they did? We're about to find out. "Monster, how should I feel? Turn the sheets down, murder ears with pillow lace There's bath tubs, full of glow flies Bathed in kerosene, their words tattooed in his veins (yeah)"

So here is where the karma begins. However, there is also where Bo and Henry differentiate in how they go about their lives.

The lyric above explains that Henry is overcome by the guilt of his actions, and decides to kill himself by lighting himself on fire with chemicals in a bathtub. And there, that's the end of Henry.

As for Bo, things are different. We don't know if Bo ever felt guilt for what he did to all those people, but we do know that he never let any guilt get in the way of his intense, and yet childish thirst for control over others. Bo was so overcome with the frightening rage and the mentally of fighting to get his way, that he literally fought the forces of karma until he couldn't fight anymore (getting his ass beat to death with a bat by Carly). Whereas karma got to Henry by sheer guilt, Bo was so far into his dark lifestyle that any sense of conscience just wasn't enough to stop his implemented nature, forcing karma to take his life in the form of victims fighting back.

Bo Sinclair is a lesson on how badly abuse and isolation can fuck someone up. Bo could've turned out to be a successful mechanic, but was overcome by the enforced lifestyle of unnecessary and overdone violence. Bo could've found someone who genuinely loved him without any control as factor, but was led to believe that "my way or the highway" was the answer to cooperation and affection. Bo could've lived a long and fulfilling life along with his brothers and possible friends who could've moved into the abandoned town, but his life was cut way short because of the very things he was conditioned to utilize in any situation: anger, violence, and the excessive want to dominate whatever comes across.

The crazy thing about this is that the song barely came out too long after House of Wax (2005) premiered. The song was apparently released in 2006. Ironically, I don't know if Bo would even like this song despite how much it fits him. He'd probably be into some Marilyn Manson before he even touches a Meg and Dia CD.

Whelp, see y'all next time!

[likeabxrdinflight]

Honestly, It's kinda seems weird for me to join ATLA fandom after 15 years. I'm mean, I already watch this show, but It was like 10 years ago, when I was 8 or 9 years old. And as a child, I didn't get an opportunity to watch this show completely, so I don't remember some moments, when I was rewatching the series. Like, the fight between Katara and Pakku, Iroh's story about how Zuko gets his scar, damn I didn't even remember the Agni Kai between Zuko and Azula.

Now, I'm 18. So I don't know, It's just kinda feels like I've missed a lot of stuff. I wish I had join this fandom earlier.

The fandom rebirth has been an interesting thing to watch as someone who was there pretty much from the beginning of the original fandom- when the show first came out in 2005 I was in middle school, but I didn’t really get super involved in the online world until around 07/08, by which time I was in high school. I can tell you a little bit about what it was like, because it was a very different environment back then. You definitely missed a lot of content, but much of it is still there if you really wanna go digging for it. What’s really changed, I think, is the experience. I don’t know how interested you are in fandom history, but the ATLA fandom has a very interesting one. 

For starters, the web was a lot less regulated than it is today (and a lot less commercialized, frankly). Fandom congregated in forums mainly, or on sites like deviantart and fanfiction.net. It was even possible to form community on youtube back in those days, as it was a lot easier for some nobody teenager to throw up an AMV that would get hundreds or thousands of hits. The algorithm back then was much, much different than what you see now, and channels had comments sections and inboxes to go to. And one of the biggest ATLA websites was avatarspirit.net, which had a collection of screencaps, transcripts, and news sources, but also hosted some of the biggest forums at the time. 

So no tumblr, no discord servers, even twitter wasn’t really a thing back then. It was sort of the wild west, in a sense, because the internet was still relatively new. The generation who built the ATLA fandom were not true digital natives the way kids are now- we grew up alongside the internet, it aged with us, rather than being something already around that we grew into. So there was a feeling of “anything goes,” this not helped by the fact that 90% of the ATLA fandom were teenagers anyways.

Because of this, the atmosphere of fandom was quite different back then. Shipping wars were definitely a thing, I’m sure you’ve heard the legend of Kataang vs. Zutara- that’s arguably the go to example of what a ship war even is, and it could be vicious. You almost had to pick a side to be involved with the ATLA fandom at all, it was that pervasive. LGBT ships existed (the most popular being Tyzula and Jetko), but were not a prominent part of the fandom- anything that wasn’t the two big ones were smaller ships like Tokka, Taang, Maiko, and a handful of more obscure ships like Jetara or Sokkla. The ships that are popular today really weren’t back then- Zukka certainly existed but it wasn’t really on the greater fandom radar. 

The discourse was different too. Fandom wasn’t really tied to activism back in the 2000s the way it is now, no one was really talking about shipping in the context of how problematic or non-problematic something was. Certainly there was some discourse along those lines, but not like you see today. I see a lot of newer discourse now about Zutara being racist, for example, that just wasn’t prominent in the early days. Age gap ships also used to be very popular in the old days. Toph and Sokka used to be a pretty big ship that’s all but disappeared in the modern fandom climate, where any hint of an age gap gets people pretty up in arms. Abuse discourse was a lot less complex back then too, for good or ill. I’ve certainly read some Zutara fics in my time that, were they published today, easily would have gotten the authors accused of abuse apologism. 

And I think that’s what stands out to me a lot. When I was growing up, nobody really cared how toxic a relationship was or wasn’t, there was no emphasis on how “pure” or “wholesome” a ship was. And I actually do think that was a direct response to the American culture of the time, which was much more socially conservative (remember this is all happening during the late Bush years). Back then, it was considered progressive to push boundaries like that, to try and write “taboo” ships. It was a rebellion against against the “compassionate conservative” narrative that dominated the social attitudes of the Bush era. Most of the early ATLA fandom were teenagers. We were all rebelling in our own ways against our parents and against the authority of the time.

So for example, Zutara fics that portrayed Zuko as a legitimate villain were actually pretty popular. Some of the most popular tropes featured Zuko capturing Katara and falling in love with her while she was a prisoner. The ship was seen as kind of dark, and that was sexy to people (many of these older fics have aged poorly in the Trump era). Zuko also wasn’t held up as this “Pure Good Boi” that he is now- the myth that Zuko’s Redemption Arc has become has really changed how people see his character. But back then, he was the Edgy Bad Boy for two and a half seasons before finally turning full Good. 

This was also coming off the great Livejournal Strikethrough of 07, in which a lot of fics were taken down from that platform due to “inappropriate sexual content.” This was widely seen amongst fandoms as censorship, and AO3 began to grow in popularity in the aftermath (though ff.net was still the dominant fanfiction site for several more years.) So there was also a feeling of rebellion against that, too. By and large, It was seen as transgressive and edgy to write darker stuff, and in a pre-game of thrones world that saw people literally burning Harry Potter books for being “satanic”, edgy was largely considered a good thing.

It really cannot be overstated how much game of thrones completely altered the way we view fiction, but...that’s another post.

And finally, this was an era that was very...heterosexual. People actually felt the need to put disclaimers on queer fics like “boyxboy/girlxgirl DON’T LIKE DON’T READ NO FLAMES”. We mock those kind of disclaimers now, because they look silly in hindsight, but people really did get hate comments back in the day for writing any queer ships, whether they were “healthy” or not. Literally just existing as a queer person was transgressive in 2005. It doesn’t feel that long ago, but in 2005 only two states had legalized gay marriage, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell was still the military policy, it was legal to discriminate against LGBT people in most if not all work places, and public approval for same-sex marriage was hovering around 40%, maybe. There were zero canonical queer characters in American children’s animation. It wasn’t that long ago, really, but it was a different time.

All this to say, things have changed a lot. But if there was ever a time to dive into the ATLA fandom, now is it- content is being created again, people are re-engaging with the series and looking at it from a more modern lens. The fandom olds are still here, but there’s always room for younger, newer fans. If there wasn’t, the fandom would eventually die out, and no one wants that. So if you feel weird about diving into it now, don’t- there’s honestly never been a better time with the Netflix resurgence. 

[marshmallowbee13]

The full playlist

I decided to do this here because Insta has been a butt for too long and wouldn't let me add songs to my stories. If you read this, I tag you to make your own playlist and tag me in it so I can listen to your music tastes.

Day 1: Deep Purple by Artie Shaw & Helen Forrest

I really have a thing for old Big Band music. I blame my dad. We have an old home video of us dancing together to that music.

Day 2: I'm a Slave 4 U by Britney Spears

Listen. It's a classic.

Day 3: Soak Up the Sun by Sheryl Crow

So it's not the greatest song, but I've spent many a summer listening to it.

Day 4: Pyromania by Cascada

I used to watch old AMVs of this song dedicated to a character from one of my favorite movies, who I used to have a huge crush on. My interests have since changed and now I can't listen to that song without thinking of my old obsession with him. It's cringey, bro.

Day 5: Everytime We Touch by Cascada

It's a BOP!

Day 6: Show Me How You Burlesque by Christina Aguilara

Burlesque is one of my favorite movies and this song especially makes me wanna jump on a table and dance. I don't actually do it, tho.

Day 7: A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton

Perfect for road trips.

Day 8: Starships by Nikki Minaj

I was told it was about getting high. I just thought it was about cool space crafts. I'm not good at song comprehension.

Day 9: Fishy Love by Griffinilla

It's such a cute song. I love Alphys and Undyne.

Day 10: Dreaming of You by Selena

Listen. If you've seen the movie, you'll understand.

Day 11: Toxic by Britney Spears

It's such a great song.

Day 12: Leave (Get Out) by JoJo

This was my #1 favorite song when I was a preteen.

Day 13: Dancing Queen by ABBA

It's quite possibly the only 70s song I like.

Day 14: I See the Light by Zachary Levi and Mandy Moore

It's the most romantic song I know and finding love is my new dream™.

Day 15: Emperor's New Clothes by NateWantsToBattle

Honestly, I prefer this version over the original.

Day 16: Oops I Did It Again by Britney Spears

90s kids understand.

Day 17: Leaves In the Stream by Aurelio Voltaire

Ignoring the fact that I hate singing out loud and would never do karaoke, this song would be the perfect song to karaoke.

Day 18: All I Wanna Do by Sheryl Crow

Do you know how hard it was finding a song from the year I was born that I actually heard before and relatively liked? Actually harder than I thought.

Day 19: Through Heaven's Eyes by Brian Stokes Mitchell

This song really helps me feel a little better about things. Especially my self image.

Day 20: The Devil and Mr. Jones by Aurelio Voltaire

I was really stumped with this prompt because I have trouble understanding the lyrics being sung, much less what they mean. So I chose this. I thought it was about an actor who sold his soul to the Devil in return for Fame, but was cursed to never make a true connection to another person. Turns out, it's just about Doug Jones. You can watch the full explanation here.

Day 21: Pretty Lavinia by American Murder Song

Okay, yes, I understand it's a song about the murderer Lavinia Fisher, but it's a good song! Very catchy.

Day 22: High Hopes by Panic! at the Disco

It's a fun song that gets me through the day

Day 23: The Gael... Time Flies by Pirates For Sail

I know you gays out there love pirate shanties. This is my #1 favorite in my piratey playlist.

Day 24: Bye Bye Bye by N*SYNC

Honestly, I don't listen to a lot of bands, much less ones that broke up. I really don't care if they no longer make music. It's their choice and there's nothing I could do to change it. But this song is good and I miss the days when it was more popular.

Day 25: Como La Flor by Selena

Selena. Need I say more?

Day 26: Can't Help Falling in Love by Elvis

It's such a romantic song.

Day 27: Remember Me from Coco

This song has a deeper meaning when you have a family member who doesn't remember who you are.

Day 28: Chupando by Aurelio Voltaire

Voltaire is my favorite singer. He has such an amazing voice.

Day 29: Someday My Prince Will Come by Adriana Caselotti

I watched Snow White so many times as a child, my parents and I know like every word, every song, etc.

Day 30: When Will My Life Begin by Mandy Moore

Staying home, keeping busy with dozens of crafty hobbies, and waiting for my own Eugene to help me figure my life out? I am Rapunzel.

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Z 280

World is fuck, so I’m gonna write about DBZ for a while until the Benadryl kicks in.

Last time, Goku fought Majin Buu, but he wasn’t doing so great, so he upped the ante by going Super Saiyan 3.   

This is where I regret falling behind on the manga way back in the Red Ribbon Army Saga, because the Buu arc is where the anime and the manga really start to get off-track from each other.   I mean, the same plot points are followed, but in the manga, Goku fights Buu as a Super Saiyan 3 the whole time, while in the anime, he starts at SSJ2 and ramps up to SSJ3... twice.    So it’s kind of hard to match up exactly which parts of the anime version are direct adaptations of the manga.   They’re probably all there, but I’d really need to do a side-by-side comparison.    A project for another time.

This has gotta be one of the best damn episodes of the whole shebang.   Goku and Kid Buu are just whalin’ on each other, and this isn’t even the climax of this arc.  

Starting out, Goku deals some pretty heavy damage to Buu, and he has some difficulty reassembling himself.  But that’s about all Goku ever does to the kid.   I mean, if Perfect Cell took a hit like that, he’d just be dead, or so badly wounded that it would take barely any follow-through to finish the job.  But with Majin Buu these kinds of enormous blasts are just chip damage at best. 

Something else I want to do one of these days is go back and try to figure out when they screwed up Dende’s Buu-Saga character model.   I think most of Dragon Ball Super depicts him as a child, as if he never aged after the Cell Games, but I think that only happened because they were screwing him up as far back as 1995.  

Here’s the thing, though: Why was Dende so short in the Cell Games?  He had aged four years from however old he was in the Namek Saga.    Piccolo Junior was fully grown by age three.   Maybe this is the Namekian life cycle.    You grow into an adult when you’re three, then you turn into a kid again, then you grow into an adolescent about 11 years after that, and then you just sort of switch back and forth for a while.   It’s a good thing Piccolo’s off-screen for most of his life.

Yamcha and Krillin are watching this from the Grand Kai Planet, courtesy of King Kai’s telepathic vision.   Why isn’t anyone else grabbing a Kai by the back?  

And they’re even screening this fight in Hell, which seems kind of strange to me.   Abandon all hope, ye who enter here, but we’ve got pay-per-view in the commons.

Hey look it’s Cell!   And Dr. Gero.  You think they talk much at all?   Think about how much it must suck for them.   Gero was maybe the only other person Cell ever respected, because he trusted Gero’s grand design for him as the perfect being.    And Gero must have viewed Cell as his ultimate hope for avenging the Red Ribbon Army.  And then they bump into each other in hell, which proves that they’re both failures.  All Cell really accomplished was to kill Goku, and now he’s not even dead anymore.  I have to figure Cell/Gero interactions in Hell are pretty uncomfortable.  At the same time, who else are they going to hang out with?

Why are all these guys still in their bodies?   Everything that happened to Vegeta in this arc implies that letting Vegeta have his body after death is a big deviation from the norm.   Episode 195 introduced the idea of DBZ’s hell being like this big Arkham Asylum for all the bad guys.   I guess technically all those episodes with the dead Ginyus in the Frieza Saga did the same thing, but you could argue that they hadn’t been dead long enough to lose their bodies.   Here, now, we’re looking at characters that have been dead for over seven years.   I think the premise in Resurrection F was that the damned get to keep their bodies while they suffer, until they finally learn to let go of their past lives and move on.  And I can see why Frieza’s such a bitter fuck that he’d still be holding on for over a decade, but what’s Recoome holding out for?   Just get reincarnated as a cockroach or something and get it over with.

Also, why is Gero a cyborg in this scene?  

And why isn’t Frieza a cyborg?   I mean, he wasn’t a cyborg in Episode 195 either, but that seemed to suggest Gero would be fully human in hell, and he isn’t.    And if Gero does get to keep being a cyborg, then why couldn’t he keep his hat?  

Anyway, Goz and Mez recognize Goku as the guy who messed with them way back in the Saiyans Saga.    Hey, why aren’t Raditz and Nappa in this scene?  I watched an AMV where they edited Bardock into this, which seems like a good idea.   Did they just not go to hell?    I find that a little hard to believe.

Anyway, all the bad guys are salty as fuck to see Goku alive and fighting, and Frieza’s actively rooting against him.  He’s just jealous because Buu’s doing better against Goku that he ever could.

Meanwhile, over on the classy side of the villain crowd, Cell wonders who Goku’s opponent is, since he’s clearly impressed to see anyone give Goku a tougher battle than himself. 

Then Babidi shows up and announces to everyone he used to be tight with Majin Buu.  Actually, he claims Buu was his servant, and that he taught him how to fight, which... yeah.   I guess he did help Buu practice punching people’s faces off.  

This whole moment feels a bit contrived.    Babidi’s been down here for a couple of days already.    I don’t know how long they’ve been watching this fight.  I would imagine the oni switched it on somewhere when Vegito was on deck, so it kind of feels like Babidi was sort of hiding around back, waiting for someone to ask about Buu, so he could jump out and go “Oh, funny you should ask about that!   I was Majin Buu’s master for like six hours, nbd.”    I almost wonder if he paid Cell five bucks just to set this up.   Cell demanded payment in singles, because he wanted to spend it on the vending machine.   He’s a sucker, though, because hell may have a big screen TV, but the bill changer on their vending machine hasn’t worked in 10 million years.

Anyway, everyone’s impressed, probably just because Babidi has the inside track on Buu more than anything.    You gotta figure most of these guys have heard it all before, and at least Babidi has a newer story to tell.   Everyone’s probably sick of hearing how Frieza ate that crab while he killed Vegeta.

But then Babidi wanders off, and in private he cusses out Buu for, you know, killing him, and he roots for Goku to win.   Wait, is Bibidi in hell too?   You’d think they could catch up on old times.

Meanwhile... well, this shot had pink and yellow energy trails moving across the planet, and it looks pretty cool, but this screenshot doesn’t quite do it justice.   

Kibitoshin is worried about their planet, but the Elder Kai insists that it’ll take more than this to wreck it.   I want a woman who believes in me the way the Elder Kai believes in the sturdiness of the Supreme Kai Planet.    That sounds kind of masochistic when I put it that way.    Moving on.

Writing about all those other villains, it starts to come into focus how little I have to say about Majin Buu.    I dig the guy, though.   Critics complain that he doesn’t have much on personality or motivation, and they’re not wrong, but I think that’s part of the point with him.    Godzilla doesn’t give touching speeches in his movies, but he remains a popular character because of the sheer spectacle of him.   He’s a force of nature, a symbol of immense power that the human characters can barely comprehend. 

In Buu’s case, he’s just this stubborn, impossible obstacle to peace in the universe.   So much has gone wrong, and we could wish it all back the way it was, if only someone could beat this pink little turd.  He’s got some personality, but his main purpose in this story is to just be there for the other characters to interact as they deal with the problem.

For example, while all this action is going on, Mr. Satan is basically helpless, but he reassures Bee that he’ll protect him, even though Satan thinks this whole adventure is a dream.   This says a lot about Mr. Satan.    Yeah, Bee had a big part in reforming the Fat Majin Buu, but he means a lot to Mr. Satan as well.   It’s easy to write off Satan as a coward and a fraud, but even when he’s retreating into denial, he still wants to be a hero, even when the rest of the world is dead, even when his only audience is a little puppy.   And you could have a moment like this with Mr. Satan regardless of the villain, but I think it stands out better when the bad guy is Kid Buu, who doesn’t get in the way with any big speeches or characterization moments of his own.

Back to the fight, Buu gets the drop on Goku, so he decides that this is no time to hold back...

So he drops a Super Saiyan 3 Kamehameha on the little creep.  Yeah!

It blows Buu to pieces, but then the pieces just turn into mini-Buus and they all shoot back.

Goku tries to power up for another round, but suddenly he runs out of gas and collapses.

So Vegeta rushes to his side and offers to switch in.   Yeah, this whole part is filler.   In the manga, Vegeta only gets one turn, and this ain’t it.   

However, I think some of Vegeta’s lines during this scene are lifted from the part of the manga where he fights Kid Buu later.    So it’s a little weird here.  I’m curious how Dragon Ball Kai handled these episodes, because when they started that project it seemed like their goal was to edit out most of the filler from the original DBZ anime, but in some cases that just isn’t practical.   Like Pizza and her entourage in the Cell Games.   They weren’t in the manga, but they appear in almost every Mr. Satan scene that was in the manga, so Kai had to leave them in, because the alternative was to painstakingly edit them out of every shot.  Here, you may not even have that option.    You could edit Goku vs. Kid Buu down to just one uninterrupted string of action where he’s fighting at Super Saiyan 3.   Cut out this intermission with Vegeta, cut out the opening bit where Goku fights at SSJ2, but I don’t know if the fight choreography would still make sense.    

Everyone watching is horrified that Vegeta can’t even land a blow, and Buu starts openly mocking his lackluster performance.   What I don’t understand is why Vegeta would even try to fight Majin Buu in his base form.   I mean, the real reason is probably because this fight is filler, and Toei didn’t want it to detract from when he actually fights Buu in the next episode.    But it makes Vegeta look kind of stupid.   He knows better, and we know that he knows better.

So Buu quickly overwhelms him, and he’s all set to fire a ki blast to finish off.   Why doesn’t Vegeta just transform to escape it?  

But then Goku jumps in and ruins Buu’s shot.  He’s still in base form too, but I sort of buy this, because he snuck up on Buu.   Even so, this sort of fast-and-loose attitude with power levels is exactly the sort of nonsense Toei did all through Dragon Ball GT, and one of several reasons why GT sucks.     It’s not as bad in filler scenes like this one, interspersed among stories based on the manga, but once there was no manga to work from, they just decided there were no rules, and Base Form Goku was almost interchangeable with Super Saiyan 4 Goku.   They just used whichever character design they preferred that day.

Vegeta’s astonished, because he thought Goku was down for the count, but he’s already back up and demanding to tag back in.    

But Goku ain’t done yet.  This is probably the other reason Toei had Vegeta fight in base form here, so it would make it look cooler when Goku defiantly powers up to continue his effort.   And yeah, it works.    I really do love this scene, but it’s a pretty egregious example of filler scenes messing with the flow of the story.

Goku ramps up to Super Saiyan 2, then back to 3, and we pick up where we left off.   And that’s awesome, but the main idea of this fight is that Goku’s having a hard time fighting at this level.   To have him drop out of SSJ3 early, then immediately get back up and resume SSJ3 like it’s no big deal... well, that undermines that premise.    I guess you can make an argument that it supports the premise, because having Goku power down twice in this fight only emphasizes how volatile SSJ3 really is, but... I dunno.  

Anyway, Goku goes back to fighting Buu, and you know, that may be the real reason Toei did that whole bit with Vegeta tagging in.    The alternative is to just have SSJ3 Goku fight Buu for two and a half episodes straight, and that would get dull, no matter how well they animated it.   You can have spectators observe the battle, and that’s a great way to break up the action, but a moment where Goku rescues Vegeta adds some drama.    The manga didn’t do this, but it didn’t need to, because this fight was much shorter in print.   

I guess that’s the main defense of filler.  Sometimes, it’s not about padding the anime, or working the studio’s “agenda” into the story, or anything sinister like that.  Sometimes it’s just a matter of pacing.  

Anyway, in either version, Vegeta watches Goku fighting, and quickly recognizes that Goku is the only one who can fight Majin Buu now.   At Vegeta’s level, he’d only get himself killed. 

Then he has this whole flashback of his relationship with Goku up to this point, and unlike most flashbacks in this series, this one features all new art, which is pretty awesome.  Honestly, they could have used old footage from the Saiyans Saga, but they had already done that recently during the Babidi Saga, so maybe Toei figured they couldn’t do that trick again so soon.   Or maybe they knew DBZ wes winding down, so they wanted to do something special while they still could.

Not surprisingly, Vegeta’s main recollection of his first fight with Goku are the parts where Goku beat the shit out of him while using Kaio-ken times three.  That fight had a lot more to it than that, and it’s easy to forget that Vegeta dominated most of the battle, mainly because Vegeta himself doesn’t see it that way.   

Then we get this part where Vegeta has kittens over Goku beating Recoome, and he begins to suspect that Goku is the Legendary Super Saiyan.    Would have been awesome to see another shot of Luffa the Golden Ape from episode 66, but I guess that wouldn’t make a ton of sense in this context, especially now that we know what Super Saiyans actually look like.

For instance...

Vegeta considers that Goku’s secret might be that he’s motivated by a need to protect his loved ones, but even if that’s true, Vegeta has his own loved ones now, so they’d be even if that were all it was.    I love how surly he looks here.   “Dammit, I can’t believe I care about these stupid people!   Now I gotta blow myself up if things get out of hand.”

Also, Vegeta’s observation ties in well with that filler scene from a moment ago.    Goku was exhausted, but as soon as he saw Vegeta in danger, he pulled himself together and found the strength to defend him.    Goku cares as much about Vegeta as the others.

But the real difference, Vegeta observes, is that he always fought for the fun of it, and for the satisfaction of killing his enemies.  Goku, on the other hand, fights primarily to improve himself.  That’s why he keeps pushing himself harder, and why he keeps seeing results.  It’s not about winning, it’s about not losing.    This seems to be a trend with Goku, where he usually says things like “I won’t lose” or “I ain’t lost yet,” instead of “I’m going to win.”    Vegeta’s classic mistake is to assume that he’s already going to win, and then he crumbles when things start to go wrong.

And critically, this is why Goku doesn’t kill people if he can avoid it.   Well, he killed a lot of Red Ribbon guys, but most of them were cowards and no real match for him.   King Piccolo pushed him too far.   After that, Goku’s been pretty light on killing enemies, and that’s probably because he reached a point where he became so strong that it got harder to find worthy adversaries.   Vegeta would kill his enemies just to watch them die, but in doing so, he denied himself the opportunity to face them in rematches.   This was something I read in a Superman comic once, where Superman overpowers an evil-universe version of himself, and he makes the point that his doppleganger kills all his enemies, so he only ever has to fight them once, where Superman has to stay sharp, because he has to mess with those guys over and over again.  Same deal.

And you’d think Goku might have killed Vegeta after he surpassed him, like when he became a Super Saiyan, or when Vegeta went Majin, and no one would have blamed him for putting the bastard down.  But Goku never did.   Not because Vegeta was no longer a threat, but because he knew Vegeta could still catch up to him some day and challenge him again.   Goku believes in Vegeta, even when Vegeta doesn’t believe in himself.

It’s like Goku knew Vegeta woud start to turn into a good guy.   See, this is where I take issue with criticism of the dub, way back in Episode 36, when Goku asked Krillin to spare Vegeta’s life.  The subs focus on Goku’s desire to beat Vegeta on his own, while the dub spends more time on Goku’s hope that Vegeta might see the light if they show him a little mercy.   And you can argue that the dub is cramming their own take into the script, except their take doesn’t exist in a vacuum.   Funimation’s take in Episode 36 is Vegeta’s take in Episode 280.   Call it foreshadowing, or call it putting the cart before the horse, but the line itself isn’t out of bounds, because Goku did hope that Vegeta would learn the value of mercy, and and Vegeta knows it. 

Again, let me pause to note that this big epiphany by Vegeta is much more effective when the bad guy is as flat as Kid Buu.   We’re not missing anything during this fight because they’ve just been hitting each other, and Buu bites Goku for like half a second while Vegeta reflects.

The main point of Vegeta’s monologue here is that he’s always struggled with the idea of Goku as the antithesis of what he thinks Saiyans ought to be.   And yet nothing succeeds like success.    Goku’s stronger right now than any Saiyan in the last thousand years.  Hell, right now, Goku’s the only Saiyan alive.    Vegeta’s dead, and so are all the others.  If his kindness is such a noose around his neck, why is he still breathing?    Why is he the only Saiyan who figured out how to turn Super Saiyan 3?   Why is he the only one who could bite Majin Buu on the head and get away with it?   Because Goku’s metal as fuck, that’s why.  Because kindness isn’t a weakness at all.   It never was.  If anything, it’s the lack of kindness that got all the other Saiyans killed.  

And maybe Vegeta has to think about that a while longer, but he knows this much, Goku’s better than he is.    He’s the best.

But he’s still not beating Buu anytime soon.  

There’s a cool spot here where Goku hits him and his upper body stretchs out from the impact, and he waves hello to Mr. Satan before snapping back.

And by “waving hello” , I mean “fires more of this pink crap out of his hands.”

And this right here is the last shot of Cell, I think?  There’s some more Frieza coming up, but I’m not sure if we see all the villains again or not.   

Babidi’s watching from way back there, because he’s shy.  I think Cell would hang out with Babidi.   He’s pretty sociable, right?

Anyway, this fight rules, not just because of all the great action and fluid animation, but because of all the cool stuff going on around it.    Everyone’s learning an important lesson about friendship today, thanks to Goku punching the crap out of this pink thing.  That... sounds vaguely dirty.    Let’s move on.

Oh, well, the episode’s over.    That’s kind of awkward.   Uh.   Goodbye!

[kaptain-k-pop]

(17/17) As for the current mission, I have a few questions! What was your favorite color as a child and what is it now? What was your favorite genre of music in high school and what is it now? What was your dream job when you were a child and what is it now? What is the first Kpop song you heard and what was the last Kpop song you listened to before answering these asks? I hope you are doing well! If you have any questions for me feel free to ask!! ❤️

When I was little little I was very indecisive about my favorite color, but the first color I remember being like "that's my favorite color" for an extended period of time was like green, as we can see here:

That's my bedroom wall, and this is what happens when you're 13 and your mom says "okay, pick a color sweetie :)"

As of now I'm a little indecisive again, I appreciate a lot of colors, but I still really like green and blue in terms of "general color categories" that I'm particularly fond of, and I've specifically been really drawn to mint green and indigo in terms of favorite shades. (Navy and maroon are kinda two of my favorite colors in terms of what to wear, idk, I just think they look cute on me 😂 also royal blue and black (my mom always told me blue complimented my eyes so I ended up accumulating a lot of blue clothing 😂)) that was more info than you asked for, but I overshare 🤷🤷🤷 we been knew, lol

Okay so I've always been one of those people who was like 'oh I don't have one favorite genre, I listen to all types of songs' I completely skipped having a 'middle school emo phase' lmao, like I truly never had any bands that I followed or even really solo artists that I like closely was a fan of. I would hear songs I liked but I didn't really pay any attention to the artists. It wasn't until I was a senior in high school that I finally happened to hear two Fall Out Boy songs within a week or so of each other and looked them up and happened to notice they were by the same band and was like "hmm, what a coincidence, maybe I should look up this group..." and that was literally the first band I ever really started following, and after that I started getting into Panic! At the Disco and such. And I guess you could say that was technically in high school? But it was also like, only about 3/4 of my last year 😂 In college was when I really made other friends who were into bands in that genre and introduced me a lot of other emo and pop-punk bands, so my 7th grade emo phase kinda got pushed off til college 😂

(Fun fact: my emo/pop-punk phase and my k-pop phase overlapped, I literally discovered BTS in June 2018 and then a few weeks later I went with my friend to (the last) Warp'd Tour 😂 and that's always very funny to me, like, I was on the precipice of falling in the k-pop hole head over heels and didn't even know it yet; and I do still like a lot of those bands from my 'pop-punk phase' and I also still am someone who likes a variety of genres, k-pop has just kinda been the main *favorite* genre that I listen to/talk about the most for the past few years)

(edit: now that I think about it I think I'd say that before my senior year my favorite music genre in highschool was show tunes! I was a huge theatre kid who was always involved with the school musicals and I loved getting (and memorizing) CDs of Broadway cast recordings of different shows, haha)

When I was a child I wanted to be a fashion designer, lol. I'm currently kinda in a place where idk what my next step is in terms for finding a career that's right for me (went to college to be a Science Teacher, but I've been doing some soul searching about if I'm meant for it lately) but some ideas that come to my mind that I think might make me happy is working at a State Park or a museum or something like that. Or maybe doing something with geology. I do really love Science and I would love to work with kids. Some stuff that's happened has made me question if I'm meant to be a a classroom teacher, but maybe working with kids and teaching them about the environment in a more casual setting like as a park ranger would be a good balance and good fit for me. So that's something I'm thinking about looking into (once it's safe for like, kids programs like that to start up again obviously)

The first k-pop song I heard was technically Gangnam Style back when it first became popular and before I even knew what k-pop was. The first k-pop song that I actually saved wasn't til years later though (it was Fire by BTS, in summer 2018) wow... time really goes by quickly

(edit: okay so APPARENTLY the first kpop song I downloaded was actually Nilili Mambo back in 2013 when I saw an AMV that used it and I had no idea what the song was or that it was even kpop but I liked it so I pirated it using an YouTube to MP3 converter and downloaded it on my phone and then 7 years later I discovered that it was a kpop song and realized why the name "Block B" had sounded so familiar to me when I started getting into kpop and hearing about groups..... 🤦)

Also I forgot about this question and I've just been listening to Seventeen on shuffle the whole time that I was typing this 😂😂😂

The song that is currently playing right now as I type is Fronting, lol

If you wanna respond with your own answers via anon one last time be my guest! But I also recognize that it's almost August anyway, so if you wanna just wait and we can talk to it after you reveal yourself that totally makes sense! Haha (and I'd ask my own questions but like... the event is practically over, at this point, we'll have plenty of time to keep talking over chat in the future 💗)

I'm excited to find out who you are and be able to communicate with you without having to deal with the ask system, lmao (and also so you can send me pics of your doggies.... 👀👀👀) I hope that the rest of your week is lovely!!! 💗

Talk to you soon ☺💗