#Say Whatever
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On that note, reminder that if u ever wanna see wips (if I have any) literally just dm me and ask 🥺 (yes I will hold bonus content for ransom to get people to talk to me, I promise being my friend is way cooler than paying 5 bucks a month or something)
#random#talk to a bat#say whatever#you can even just call me stinky and I’ll still be happy#and art is not guaranteed because at art I am very slow
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Casey having an Y/N moment: There is a monster inside of me.
April: are you sure that's not just autism?
#Tmnt#Tmnt 2012#tmnt 2012 april o'neil#tmnt 2012 casey jones#Say whatever#But that boy was having so many Wattpad moments in this show#Bro really give Y/N energy#And I love him#Also him and April are both autistic#Autistic besties for the win#casey jones#april oneil
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Someone chat with me 💕
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fucking hate how cats think they can mrrp their way out of anything because yeah, they fucking can.
#how am i supposed to make rational decisions when they go mrrp#not arguing with a lil guy that goes mrrp. whatever you say goes beautiful#cats#niko rambles
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anyway sending long distance voicenotes is peakkkk
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meditations on first philosophy (1641) - rene descartes
"who give a shit"
#rene descartes#ok#so this is a reference to that post#bc i cant stop saying it#sorry i havent been active#ive been working on an opera#and have been having like p bad health issues#but its ok#learning to crochet a minecraft frog#idk if itll be like any good#whatever life is love anyway#blackout poem#blackout poetry#author#book#poetry
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Audio
Listen/purchase: Say Whatever by Direct Hit!
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why is religious Christmas imagery all so joyful and pleasant? where is the inherent horror of the birth of Christ? A mother is handed her newborn child, wailing and innocent. Her hands come away sticky. Red. Simply by giving her son life she has already killed him. He is doomed from the beginning. Her love will not save him from suffering. Because the thing cradled in her arms is not a baby, it is a sacrifice: born amongst the other bleating animals whose blood will one day be spilled in the name of what demands it. the night is silent with anticipation. Mary, did you know? That your womb was also a grave?
#instant conversation enders for my multiple youth pastor cousins#don’t say it (I’m gonna say it)#The Child is The Price#but i mean come on#as someone who isn't actually even christian the real-life historical version of this is still cursed as fuck#i mean we know that jesus was a person who existed. whatever circumstances he was born in#its terrifyingly ominous to imagine being so unaware of the affect your child will have on the future of humanity#time itself will one day be counted around your birth of him#and all because he will suffer an excruciatingly painful death that you will not be able to prevent#not only that. but regardless of his or your intentions#regardless of whether there is a god#for millenea unfathomable millions will have blood spilled and will spill blood in his name#atrocities will be committed that you cannot even conceive of#and all on his and your behalf#you love your child. its beautiful. but there's horror in what you've done. because everyone else will love him too#and what's more dangerous than that?
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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Full offense, but I think milk substitution charges should not exist at coffee shops. It is NOT my or anyone's fault that they cannot have dairy and that's that.
#personal#Especially since like oatmilk is on the rise too. I wanna say it's just as popular as the whole milk they usually use.#So you know people are paying for it and it IS whatever but it sucks LMAO.
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"Canon divergence" but it's giving characters the close friendships I think they would have had if canon had expanded a little more.
#maybe bc they couldnt include it without overstuffing the story or bc they didn't have time. but i know it happened.#sometimes two characters WOULD have been best friends!! i know they would have been! canon just didn't go into it for some reason#i think i made a post like this before#but whatever#i'm saying stuff
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Dear Big Brother
kind of a sequel to this comic
#FINALLY FINISHED IT. THIS HAS BEEN SITTING UNFINISHED FOR ALMOST A FUCKING YEAR#and of course i get around to it right after making that stupid masterpost. well there's another one to add i guess#anyway. this was originally now that you're gone part 2. basically aryll's counterpart to their dad's perspective#botw#loz#skribbles#i will say ignoring this for so long was good actually because it confirmed my suspicions that my pen pressure no longer works#the way it used to. so if you see any weird inconsistencies between panels or pages it's not me it's my fucking tech#for some reason i need WAY more pressure than i used to to get the same level of opacity in sai which is. not great for my hands#but whatever ive gotten used to it by now. ignore the inconsistencies in this comic its fine
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Good luck during pride month to all the aroaces who are gonna be blasted with "love is love" everywhere
Edit:
This post includes aplatonic people, loveless aros and any other people who fall anywhere on the aro and ace spectrum.
Stop saying "but theres platonic love and familial love-"
#nothing wrong with love is love but pls being queer isnt just about loving someone#it can also be about the lack of love im certain aspects of peoples lives etc.#idk if that explains it very well but whatever#pride month#lgbtqia#aroace#aromantic#asexual#this goes to anyone on the aro and/or ace spectrum btw#anyway have fun during pride month everyone i hope you have a great time#im turning the reblogs back on#but if i see one person say any shit abouy platonic love im disabling it agaain
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big grumpass cat
#*goji's free will leaving his body at 50000000 kilometers per second when mosu tells him to do literally anything*#he dont give a fuck what it is his ass is SAT#yes darling whatever u say darling<3 malewife ass lizard god he's so whipped it's crazy#gxk#godzilla#mothra#kong#shimo#mothzilla#mosugoji#my art
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The raven king, chapter ten
"How interesting," they say.
(and they say it a lot)
(i'm not kidding. the entirety of the first two books is just both of them saying how interesting the other is. it's suffocating.)
Another medicated Andrew! And black haired Neil!
The two first books hold such bangers, and clearly not enough people ramble about them. I'm a sucker for the relationship they have afterwards obviously, but even before that they're hilarious. Many underrated scenes that could be worth drawing.
Also I underestimated how Neil dress and presents himself - like: he wears oversized, worn out and faded, preferably light-colored clothes; messy curlyish hair with bangs; sports hoodies; JORTS-
... He's got a banger style actually.
#aftg#all for the game#the raven king#the kings men#neil josten#andrew minyard#andreil#twinyards#brotherly love and internal gay crises#neil keeps his hands in his pockets to feel the phone and keys andrew gave him and thats canon#just a reminder yknow#also did you know neil says the precise sentence 'im fine' exactly nine times in the raven king#like not 'its fine' or whatever just 'im fine'#yes i kept count#MUSE PROPAGANDA (this is an art tag)
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truth serum / system reveal au where shen qingqiu gets hit with an uncloaking spell that reveals the system in the reflection of his eyes every time it pops up.
during one of his missions, in the treasure hoard of some dragon-like creature, he finds a golden, oval shaped hand mirror, its gaudy style more victorian based than anything (airplane you hack!), that doesn't seem to do anything when he looks into it. but when he does, it reveals the system's screen in his eyes.
he doesn't notice this, of course, because he can't see it, and the system, surprisingly, stays quiet.
the peak lords think he's cursed.
maybe mu qingfang is the first to notice, during the mandatory post mission check-up, when shen qingqiu is scrolling through his most recently accumulated points and mu qingfang can see the strange vividly-blue lines reflected in his pupils. it's gone when shen qingqiu blinks, like it was nothing but a trick of the light.
it comes out when yue qingyuan is visiting and, just as he's done laying out the plans for a new mission, shen qingqiu's eyes glaze over and a bright blue box takes over the whole of his iris. shen qingqiu goes quiet; the thing in his eyes moves, shifts, pulses for a second, like static worms crawling all over his pupils. then he blinks, and it's gone, and shen qingqiu accepts the mission that yue qingyuan was almost sure he would decline.
maybe there is an intervention, when the peak lords corner shen qingqiu at qian cao peak and try to figure out what's wrong, subjecting him to all kinds of treatments and curse-finding spells that turn up empty, they can't find anything.
of course, the silencing threat is still very much up and running. at first shen qingqiu was kind of confused by the whole ordeal, but when the peak lords start describing a "strange blue box", he realizes, with sickening suddenty, that they're describing the system. and he can't say anything.
this only makes everything worse, because their fellow peak lord now keeps evading every question and acts like he doesn't understand. liu qingge points right at his face and asks, "that blue box, what is it?" and shen qingqiu laughs nervously and starts talking about how bright the weather is and surely it's the sky and nothing to worry about!
even worse, during the intervention the system thought it was a good idea to start talking to him, so now even the peak lords who hadn't seen it and who might have been persuaded by light tricks and reflections, get a first row view that no, that definitely isn't a trick of the light.
they try to do the whole thing of "are you in danger, blink twice" but shen qingqiu can't even do that because it's still a direct admittance!
maybe eventually he starts saying vague confirmations that don't actually confirm anything, like "this master hears what you're saying", or maybe he goes with a classic "this master can neither confirm nor deny that." but the system starts warning him for that too and eventually he stops saying anything, which worries the others more.
luckily mu qingfang catches on that every time they ask a direct question about the box or shen qingqiu says anything vaguely confirming, it appears. it doesn't appear when they ask about curses or demons, so it must not see that as a threat.
for a little extra angst: maybe the peak lords keep pressuring him for answers, and at some point shen qingqiu gets fed up and snaps out something like, "why don't you understand that i'm not allowed to answer that!" the system counts this as a direct admittance, threatening it's existence. so it punishes. shen qingqiu has a qi deviation so bad it lasts two weeks and takes two people every day to cleanse his meridians. the system doesn't appear in that time. it doesn't appear for a long while after that, either. the peak lords stop asking, mainly because shen qingqiu will instantly leave the room if they do. they don't stop searching for a cure, though.
shang qinghua returns from a business trip and catches on the second someone mentions a blue box and forced silencing.
#i like the idea of sqq sort of disassociating every time he talks with the system#like his eyes go unfocused and he goes quiet and doesnt seem to hear what others are saying#and the others always thought that was odd but hey. whatever. until some strange *thing* started showing up#i do also like the idea of the system slowly allowing sqq more liberties#bc its decided it likes this storyline#liu qingge comes to cleanse sqqs meridians and gets red with anger when the system pops up in sqqs eyes#but then sqq reaches out to him and says ''no. it... likes you.''#the system doesnt (cant) really like anyone. but its gifting him friendship points when liu qingge visits him and that's positive?#liu qingge doesnt see it as positive and gets even more mad because what do you MEAN this monster enitity ''likes him''????#liu qingge is going to kill it the first chance he has!!#yue qingyuan talks about a mission looking for volunteers and you can *see* his face fall when the blue box appears#''it wants you to go. doesn't it?'' ''this shidi would like to join this mission.'' ''i understand.''#sometimes the blue box appears and sqq looks *stricken*. like he just saw something really awful#but he just cant talk about it#svsss#scum villain's self saving system#scum villain#shen qingqiu#yue qingyuan#mu qingfang#system svsss#svsss au#reveal au
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