#Sausageless

[millaismalaise]

So annoying that every single day I have to feed and take care of the soft animal of my body, even after all my local grocery stores stopped carrying pc brand sausageless rolls. I need to rot in bed with my favourite depression meal.

[mydinnar]

sausageless rolls (vegetarian). goodbye 2023

[myhungryworld2]

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[indigo-ghost-girl]

Just bit a sausageless sausage roll

Its straight up just pastry

[llleagle]

Im alone in a cruel sausageless world

[sightofsea]

methinks this weekend i will make swiss and pepper jack mac n cheese with trader joe’s italian sausageless sausage OR the soyrizo. can’t decide which yet but either is making me mouth water so its gonna happen

[kiracatvria]

I Really Want

sausages

[time-for-a-change-kt-blog]

cheesey spinach pasta w sausageless sausage, my new water bottle and a good read! (post crossfit that murdered my shoulders)

[thesausagequest]

Sausage Distancing

If we say that the average sausage - there is no such thing, they are all beautiful in their own way but please bear with me - is 10-15cm, then during this period of social distancing, we should be standing at least 13.3 recurring sausages away from each other. I can’t bear to see a recurring sausage so let’s say that’s at least 14 sausages, possibly 20. I hope I have helped you to understand sausage distancing. 

For other things that can be helpful during this time and that solely pertain to the increased usage of sausages in our daily lives, why not try using a frozen sausage to press a lift button safely, or to point at distant ships on the horizon? Sausage meat itself can be an excellent ersatz currency when the financial markets crash. A sausage, aimed correctly, can be used to deter thieves who have taken advantage of this pandemic situation to come to your house and steal all of your paintings of other, older sausages. 

They also smell nice, so be careful with that because you don’t want people smelling sausages and then leaving their isolation to come and eat the sausages. You have to know what you’re dealing with otherwise you’re going to bring us all down because you wanted sausages and I would not be able to find it in myself to blame you. 

Anyway, sausages. We were talking about sausages. I haven’t really been able to get ahold of any sausages, the people in my local supermarket seemed to go for those first because I live around completely rational geniuses who bought only what they needed for their next manned mission to the moons of Jupiter. 

So what does a nicepipeman do when there’s no pipes to nice? I have absolutely no idea what that means. I was trying to say what does a sausageman do when there’s no man to...sausage. Look, I don’t have any sausages and I’m stuck in my house looking at a wall (not a Wall’s for they are sausages and as discussed I am sausageless). What I’ve done to dampen the tubemeat cravings is what everyone does when they can’t have something for tragic or inexplicable reasons; I’ve been looking at pictures of sausages. I would like to share a few favourites with you. 

Firstly, to show my working and my research methodology, here’s what I did:

I typed ‘photo of a sausage’ into Google. It’s that simple ladies and gentlemen oh yes indeed all the tricks of the trade being laid bare in front of your very eyes. Now, the sausages. 

These sausages are made of Quorn, and yet, curiously - or Quoriously - someone has stabbed them anyway. Was it to make sure they were not, in fact, alivemeat? Or did they harbour some sort of vendetta against the ruse? Perhaps these sausages were snitches who got what was coming to them? We’ll certainly never know but it is a mystery most intriguing. 

These sausages have arranged themselves into the sausage-language written version of ‘best seller’, which a helpful butcher or scholar has then translated into ‘best seller’ and applied it to the image for those of us who do not have sausagetongue. 

This is sealant but came up in my search anyway and really doesn’t everyone deserve to be told they’re a beautiful sausage. 

Look at these playful pipes! My word if there’s an unsung hero in lifting our spirits during this trying time, it’s these sausages that have been arranged (probably with a little help from someone with hands!) into a lovely happy face. Thank you, sausage-face, which was literally already the name of this image file. 

Look at this battle sausage, giving one last thumbs up before going on to assail a no doubt very well-fortified knife and fork. Godspeed, General. 

This fellow tried to make good his escape but was captured in the nick of time by someone who looks very troubled for someone holding a delicious-looking sausage fugitive. She is not only angry at the sausage, but her own lackadaisical approach to correct sausage discipline while in custody. As she should be. 

Ok one last one since I know we are all very busy looking at walls (not Wall’s because they are, as I believe was mentioned earlier, sausages). People often ask me - I have literally never been asked this question - what constitutes a perfect sausage, in my eyes. And I say - I have never said this - that I prefer a sausage in my hand and mouth, not my eyes! Then I get arrested. Anyway if I were to be asked that question and didn’t have that joke locked and loaded, I’d say this looks like it. A grilled sausage, slightly charred, looking coquettishly into the middle-distance as if it doesn’t know the photo is even being taken. This is a sausage that, if it lived in a house that had a toilet with the two flush buttons, would push the correct flush button every time. It would help flood relief efforts and never tell anyone, people would only find out when they saw it in its little waders in the back of shot on the news. It sponsors so many animals there is a wing of the zoo named Sausage Wing and sausages don’t even have wings but this one should because it is an angel.x

So there we have April’s roundup of sausages I’ve seen pictures of. Thank you for joining me, I hope you are all coping during this difficult period and are well-stocked with sausages with which you plan on being careful. Stay well, stay safe, stay sausages. 

CURRENT LENGTH - STILL 638CM, BE CURIOUS TO KNOW HOW YOU’D THINK THIS WOULD HAVE CHANGED ANYTHING

SAUSAGE RATING - NOT REALLY THE POINT WAS IT 

[val-tam]

Cauliflower gnocchi, sausageless sausage and a side of broccoli for #PWELunchSwap by @_gloooo 346 calories

[personalcoachingcenter]

Meat Lovers Try Vegan Diets For A Week

- Jazz and I are looking at the email of the things we can't eat. Can't eat eggs. - Oh, fuck. (bright music) - I really like any type of food except for like really, really vegetable-heavy foods. - I'm not used to looking at labels. I wanna get a lot of knowledge into what goes into foods and I think hopefully my diet's better after this, and hopefully I learn how to cook something. - I just went on this journey of having healthy relationships with myself, food and exercise, and I'm just excited to start something new and do it in a healthy, positive mental space. - We're going on our first grocery mission. I don't know what to look for. Maybe we'll just go to what we normally get and then look for options. We've made it to the fruit section which we can guarantee is vegan. - I found some meatless meats. I'm here for sausage! Not in my sexual life, just in this life. - [Lindsay] We're going for the safe options. - Safe option. Probably not that healthy but spaghetti's good. - I feel like I'm trying things that I've always wanted to try but now trying stuff I have a reason to. - I'm actually excited. I got a lot (chuckles). I don't know if I can even eat all of these. I probably will because I'm gonna be hungry. - Alright, let's try this vegan sausage. I put some mustard on it - that's vegan too. Consistency, a little questionable, but taste? Very good! Oh my god, that actually kinda tastes like sausage. - [Jazzmyne] We have a little meeting today and here's all the food that I can't eat. - Alright so we had catered lunch today and there was tons of sandwiches all of which had meat except one, and it has tofu. I do not like tofu but I am sticking it out today. - Oh! - Me and my friend were talking and she's vegan. She was saying how she gets annoyed when people do this shit because he will starve and just don't end up eating because they can't eat anything. And so I've really been making it a priority to make sure I'm not starving and I'm not. I feel very full and I'm eating vegetables and I'm eating fruits and I feel good. (she laughs) - So today I realized that not all vegan food is healthy. I know that's kind of dumb to realize. I snacked a lot. I had Oreos. I had chips. There was a lot of things you can eat when you're vegan and not all of them are great for you so I think from now on I kinda need to watch myself, make sure I'm just getting nutrients I need. - So it's about 2:30 AM. Usually right now, I would make an egg sandwich with cheese but I can't because I can't have eggs. So my lunch today is sausageless sausage and broccoli. - I'm at the mall and I keep smelling Wetzel's freaking Pretzels and I can't eat it and it's killing me. - We are on our way to go to an all-vegan restaurant! - [Girls] Whoo! - We're here. We're looking at the menus. The best part of this is that we can just choose whatever's on this menu. - All vegan. - All vegan. - So after being vegan for a week, I've realized that it's truly fucking amazing. The meatless meat options, it still made me feel like I was eating meat but I felt better about it, honestly because I knew I wasn't eating animals. - I think it really just opened my eyes to the fact that I just need to start reading my labels of the things I eat because honestly, the things that even are good to eat, that don't have vegan stuff in it, I'm like, oh my God, they have this amount of sugar and other things that I should be looking at and paying attention to. - I'm really glad I did this challenge and from now on I can definitely see myself exploring a lot more options on food. - So yes, I will be continuing some vegan habits but also yes, I am driving to Korean barbecue at this very moment. (crowd chatter) - I just ate an egg. I just ate a fucking egg! (soft music)

[noglutenrecipes]

Vegan Stuffing Sausageless Rolls Recipe ~ Let's cook Vegan Stuffing Sausageless Rolls by yourself!. See more at: http://ift.tt/2gOHhbP

[aettah]

No fucking sausage

[time-for-a-change-kt-blog]

trader joe's with the sausageless sausage hookup

[val-tam]

Sausageless sausage flatbread with sun dried tomatoes for #PWELunchSwap #valryskitchen 330 calories