#sausageless

[housefreak]

making more stuffing 😋

[millaismalaise]

So annoying that every single day I have to feed and take care of the soft animal of my body, even after all my local grocery stores stopped carrying pc brand sausageless rolls. I need to rot in bed with my favourite depression meal.

[mydinnar]

sausageless rolls (vegetarian). goodbye 2023

[myhungryworld2]

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[indigo-ghost-girl]

Just bit a sausageless sausage roll

Its straight up just pastry

[llleagle]

Im alone in a cruel sausageless world

[sightofsea]

methinks this weekend i will make swiss and pepper jack mac n cheese with trader joe’s italian sausageless sausage OR the soyrizo. can’t decide which yet but either is making me mouth water so its gonna happen

[kiracatvria]

I Really Want

sausages

[time-for-a-change-kt-blog]

cheesey spinach pasta w sausageless sausage, my new water bottle and a good read! (post crossfit that murdered my shoulders)

[thesausagequest]

Sausage Distancing

If we say that the average sausage - there is no such thing, they are all beautiful in their own way but please bear with me - is 10-15cm, then during this period of social distancing, we should be standing at least 13.3 recurring sausages away from each other. I can’t bear to see a recurring sausage so let’s say that’s at least 14 sausages, possibly 20. I hope I have helped you to understand sausage distancing. 

For other things that can be helpful during this time and that solely pertain to the increased usage of sausages in our daily lives, why not try using a frozen sausage to press a lift button safely, or to point at distant ships on the horizon? Sausage meat itself can be an excellent ersatz currency when the financial markets crash. A sausage, aimed correctly, can be used to deter thieves who have taken advantage of this pandemic situation to come to your house and steal all of your paintings of other, older sausages. 

They also smell nice, so be careful with that because you don’t want people smelling sausages and then leaving their isolation to come and eat the sausages. You have to know what you’re dealing with otherwise you’re going to bring us all down because you wanted sausages and I would not be able to find it in myself to blame you. 

Anyway, sausages. We were talking about sausages. I haven’t really been able to get ahold of any sausages, the people in my local supermarket seemed to go for those first because I live around completely rational geniuses who bought only what they needed for their next manned mission to the moons of Jupiter. 

So what does a nicepipeman do when there’s no pipes to nice? I have absolutely no idea what that means. I was trying to say what does a sausageman do when there’s no man to...sausage. Look, I don’t have any sausages and I’m stuck in my house looking at a wall (not a Wall’s for they are sausages and as discussed I am sausageless). What I’ve done to dampen the tubemeat cravings is what everyone does when they can’t have something for tragic or inexplicable reasons; I’ve been looking at pictures of sausages. I would like to share a few favourites with you. 

Firstly, to show my working and my research methodology, here’s what I did:

I typed ‘photo of a sausage’ into Google. It’s that simple ladies and gentlemen oh yes indeed all the tricks of the trade being laid bare in front of your very eyes. Now, the sausages. 

These sausages are made of Quorn, and yet, curiously - or Quoriously - someone has stabbed them anyway. Was it to make sure they were not, in fact, alivemeat? Or did they harbour some sort of vendetta against the ruse? Perhaps these sausages were snitches who got what was coming to them? We’ll certainly never know but it is a mystery most intriguing. 

These sausages have arranged themselves into the sausage-language written version of ‘best seller’, which a helpful butcher or scholar has then translated into ‘best seller’ and applied it to the image for those of us who do not have sausagetongue. 

This is sealant but came up in my search anyway and really doesn’t everyone deserve to be told they’re a beautiful sausage. 

Look at these playful pipes! My word if there’s an unsung hero in lifting our spirits during this trying time, it’s these sausages that have been arranged (probably with a little help from someone with hands!) into a lovely happy face. Thank you, sausage-face, which was literally already the name of this image file. 

Look at this battle sausage, giving one last thumbs up before going on to assail a no doubt very well-fortified knife and fork. Godspeed, General. 

This fellow tried to make good his escape but was captured in the nick of time by someone who looks very troubled for someone holding a delicious-looking sausage fugitive. She is not only angry at the sausage, but her own lackadaisical approach to correct sausage discipline while in custody. As she should be. 

Ok one last one since I know we are all very busy looking at walls (not Wall’s because they are, as I believe was mentioned earlier, sausages). People often ask me - I have literally never been asked this question - what constitutes a perfect sausage, in my eyes. And I say - I have never said this - that I prefer a sausage in my hand and mouth, not my eyes! Then I get arrested. Anyway if I were to be asked that question and didn’t have that joke locked and loaded, I’d say this looks like it. A grilled sausage, slightly charred, looking coquettishly into the middle-distance as if it doesn’t know the photo is even being taken. This is a sausage that, if it lived in a house that had a toilet with the two flush buttons, would push the correct flush button every time. It would help flood relief efforts and never tell anyone, people would only find out when they saw it in its little waders in the back of shot on the news. It sponsors so many animals there is a wing of the zoo named Sausage Wing and sausages don’t even have wings but this one should because it is an angel.x

So there we have April’s roundup of sausages I’ve seen pictures of. Thank you for joining me, I hope you are all coping during this difficult period and are well-stocked with sausages with which you plan on being careful. Stay well, stay safe, stay sausages. 

CURRENT LENGTH - STILL 638CM, BE CURIOUS TO KNOW HOW YOU’D THINK THIS WOULD HAVE CHANGED ANYTHING

SAUSAGE RATING - NOT REALLY THE POINT WAS IT 

[val-tam]

Cauliflower gnocchi, sausageless sausage and a side of broccoli for #PWELunchSwap by @_gloooo 346 calories

[noglutenrecipes]

Vegan Stuffing Sausageless Rolls Recipe ~ Let's cook Vegan Stuffing Sausageless Rolls by yourself!. See more at: http://ift.tt/2gOHhbP

[time-for-a-change-kt-blog]

trader joe's with the sausageless sausage hookup

[val-tam]

Sausageless sausage flatbread with sun dried tomatoes for #PWELunchSwap #valryskitchen 330 calories

[val-tam]

Angel hair pasta mixed with zucchini ribbons, onions, bell peppers and my latest obsession ... Trader Joe's Sausageless Sausage! #PWELunchSwap #valryskitchen 329 calories