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gretavangroupie · 2 years ago

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Vigilance (Chapter 8)

Word count: 20.7k (I’m so sorry this is a small novel, and they just keep getting longer.)

Pairings: Sam x Reader, Jake x OC, Jake x Reader

Warnings: 18+ as always, drinking, language, fluff, angst, smut, violence.

This story is a collaboration with my best pal @gretavanmoon.

MAY 2021

SAM POV

Jake hadn’t texted you back for a week. You only found out that dinner was tonight when Josh texted you asking you to bring a bottle of wine. So here you were, wine in hand, twisting the knob on the front door.

He had every right to be angry with you, you didn’t blame him for that, but the real question in your mind was if he was truly happy with Sophia, why did he care so much about you spending time with Y/N. You would get to the bottom of that, but for now you had to make it through this dinner.

“Howdy bitches, I brought the wine!” you yelled through the corridor, shutting the heavy front door behind you.

Daniel steps around the corner sending you a serious look as he walks to meet you where you stood. “I’d bring it down a notch, Jake is on one tonight.” he says, rolling his eyes.

Great.

You kept your distance, talking to Josh and Daniel in the living room, thumbing through Jake’s record collection trying to find something that might help his mood. Something crashed in the kitchen, the sound of glass shattering against the tile floors. You all spun your heads to meet the sound, being met with Jake’s incoherent mumbling of profanities.

“I’m gonna go survey the damage, be right back.” Josh said, walking into the kitchen.

Daniel slides his eyes over to you, “Has he seemed…off lately?” he asks.

“Who Jake?” you reply, pulling your phone from your pocket. You send her a quick text, while you have a free second keeping it short and sweet.

You: Tonight?

Y/N: See you then. ;)

“Yeah...Jake.” he says.

“Ha… yeah. He has, can’t say I blame him though. He probably never thought he would see Y/N again. Especially living in our new city.” you answer.

“Oh, yeah I guess that would explain it. But damn the drinking is getting excessive.” he says.

Now that you think about it, you realize he has been drunk or in the process of getting drunk every time you have seen him the last few weeks.

“I really don’t know what’s up with him. Probably having to deal with Sophia running his life all the time.”

“I think I’m gonna talk to him. I don’t know when, but…soon.” he says.

You shrug your shoulders, happy that it doesn't have to be you to take on that task.

Josh pops his head around the doorway, “Alright boys, lets go.” he says motioning you towards the kitchen.

You both stand and make your way into the kitchen, the food smelled delicious. You’d give it to Jake, he was a great cook. Daniel steps over to the counter grabbing the bottle of wine you’d brought, cutting open the wrapper.

You step up next to Jake to make a plate and you realize that you can, in fact, smell the booze radiating off of him. Daniel is right, he is drinking more than usual.

He won't look at you, and you know that when he does it will be accompanied by the verbal lashing you’ve been expecting since he found out you went to Y/N’s graduation.

You make your way to the table, sitting as far away from his normal seat as you possibly can. As the rest of the guys fill in around you, you accept the glass of wine from Daniel, taking a sip of the crisp white.

When Jake sits down you watch, you notice his flushed cheeks and the slur in his words. His eyes flick up to yours, and you’re caught there, just staring at each other for what feels like way too long, before he finally speaks, “Something you’d like to say, Samuel?”

“I don’t know, will you remember it tomorrow if I do?” you chide.

He rolls his eyes and looks away, Josh and Danny staring at you in disbelief for calling him out.

Josh quickly changes the subject as you all begin to eat. You and Jake continue to catch brief glances of each other throughout dinner, and you begin to notice the look of anger growing on his features as the dinner progresses. Maybe he has something he’d like to say.

Tipping back the rest of your wine, you feel the warmth in your chest as the alcohol makes its way into your system. Your inhibitions are lowered and you wait for Jake to speak what’s on his mind. You know he will. He can’t help himself. He’s never been able to.

You refill your glass as you continue in conversation until Daniel inevitably brings up your trip.

“How was Ann Arbor?” he asks.

You see the blood drain from Josh’s face. He knows things are about to go south, quickly.

“Ahh, it was good, we don’t have to talk about it now though.” you say, trying to change the subject.

Jake slams his fist down on the table, “No, you know what? I think we should. I think we should talk about it now.”

Everyone stares at him as he finally boils over.

“Jake…” Josh warns.

“What Josh? It’s a simple question. How was Ann Arbor? Did you have a great time, sneaking off… not telling anyone where you were going?” he pauses, tapping his fingers on his chin.

“Why did you feel the need to sneak off Sam?” he asks.

You swallow thickly, as you try to formulate your response. Your eyes flick to Josh and Daniel, neither of them able to save you from this one. You made your bed. Time to lie in it.

“She’s my best friend, I had to go. Wanted to be there for her. It was a big day.” you answer.

Jake shakes his head, not accepting that response. “There was no other reason, right?” he asks sarcastically, the alcohol sending him into a rage. “Actually, how the fuck are my leftovers Sam?” he seethes.

“Jacob!” Josh, sneers.

“No, no, it’s fine…” you say, gesturing to Josh to settle. “You know what? They’re phenomenal. In fact, I’m seeing her tonight, and probably tomorrow too.” you answer in a challenging tone.

Jake stands up swiftly, almost knocking his chair over in his haste, fists tightened and face twisted in anger. You know he won’t lay a finger on you. Or would he?

“Sit down Jake, he’s just trying to get a rise out of you.” Josh demands, sending him a glare.

Jake rolls his eyes, and pulls his chair towards him before taking a seat, silently seething..

You toss back the rest of your wine and focus on him, “Look Jake, you don’t need me to tell you that she’s an amazing girl. You already know that. But you are looking at this all wrong. If anything you should be thanking me.” you say.

He recoils at your statement, “Thanking you?” he scoffs.

“Yeah. For taking care of her while you aren't…” you say. “You aren’t exactly in the best position to do that, are you Jake?”

You see his face soften as he realizes what you’re saying. You raise your eyebrows at him waiting for an answer.

“No Sam, not exactly.” he says begrudgingly.

“She could be out with anyone, doing anything, but she's not. She's happy spending time with me, and who do you trust more than your own brother?” you ask.

He rubs his hands over his face as he processes the weight of what you’re implying.

“And you’d rather have her around sometimes than not at all, right?” you ask.

His eyes flick up to yours, answering the question silently.

“Okay then.” you say finally.

“Anyways, that being said… you assholes need to go home and see Mom. She is lonely, now that it's just her and Dad. Daniel, I’m sure your parents would like to see you too. I think we should try to go up for 4th of July.” you say.

“That’s in like… a few days.” Josh says.

“I know, but I really think we should go.” you say, “If you had seen the look on Mom’s face, you’d understand.”

Josh pulls out his cellphone and scrolls for a minute, as he runs his hand over his face, “Okay. Yeah, I’ll go with you…but we will need to hit it really hard when we get back. Tour starts in a few weeks.”

You knew if you could get Josh onboard the rest would follow.

“Well, I’m not staying here. Would be nice to see my folks.” Daniel adds.

You all turn to look at Jake who is still reeling over your conversation a few minutes ago. He looks up at all of you staring at him, “Alright, yeah, yeah I’ll go. Get away from all this…” he says gesturing around him. “But I don’t want to hear one god damn word about Y/N.”

“God, Mom is going to be so happy. I will book my flight tonight.” you say.

“Oh, me too.” Josh chimes in.

“Wait, won’t we need a car?” Jake questions.

“Oh, yeah I guess we will, huh?” you answer.

“Yeah I don’t think we will be taking Ubers out there.” Daniel laughs.

“Alright, I will drive up there.” Jake offers.

“Jake, it's like a 9 hour drive? You can’t make that alone?” Josh says.

“I’ll go with.” Daniel adds.

Jake looks over to him, “Really?”

“Yeah, why not? It will be nice, and quiet.” he says.

“So it’s settled.” you clap your hands together excitedly.

“Now, on to more important topics…How many fireworks can we blow up at the lake without getting the cops called on us?” he asks.

“AGAIN.” Daniel laughs.

Maybe this is just what the doctor ordered.

JULY 2021

JAKE POV

Your small suitcase sat open on your bed, packed and ready to go, equipped with the necessities of 4 loose button downs, a couple pairs of slacks, a few t-shirts, and your trusty pair of old worn light wash jeans. You stood back and put your hands on your hips, feeling like you’d forgotten something. Ah, swim trunks.

You were truly looking forward to this time back home, and found yourself itching to get back there. You missed your family terribly, and after hearing what Sam said about your mom being lonely, you knew nothing would make her happier than all of you filling up her home again. A pang of guilt rushed through you, thinking about all of the holidays and special occasions you’d missed because you were being selfish. Gotta work on that.

Just as you were zipping up your suitcase, your phone buzzed on the table.

Sophia: Hey…what are you up to?

Your conversation with Sophia had been sparse since your spat on the other day, but you felt a little bit peaceful without her wanting to know your every move all day and all night. You hadn’t even mentioned your plans for the trip back home to her.

Though deep down you didn’t want her to go, you felt the need to invite her anyway. The pressure of a fight while you’re gone felt like more of a burden than anything, so you gave it a shot.

You: Hey...the rest of the guys just told me they’re heading back to Frankenmuth for a few days for the Fourth.

Sophia: Cool, gives us some alone time? :)

Shit.

You: I actually think I’m going to go with them. Haven’t seen my folks in ages. Would you like to come?

Sophia: So you’re leaving me alone on a holiday weekend?

You scoffed at her text, perplexed at her reaction.

You: Well, no…I’m inviting you to come home with me.

It took more than a few minutes for another text to come through from her.

Sophia: I think I’ll sit this one out. There will be plenty to keep me occupied here.

You: Ah, you sure? It really is a fun place…swimming at the lake, campfires...we usually let off a ton of fireworks. And you can finally meet my family.

Sophia: Like an actual lake? With fish and mud?

Is she serious?

You: Yes...an actual lake...fish, mud, water. We bring a cooler and food, it’s a great time. You wouldn’t have to swim if you didn’t want to.

Sophia: Is Y/N going?

Why would that matter?

You: Not that I’m aware of…

Sophia: Hm, sounds great. Not really up my alley though. I’ll stay here. You have fun though :)

You stared at her text until your eyes went blurry. Huh. You knew exactly what this was, but you didn’t want to believe it. Your very serious girlfriend didn’t even want to come home with you...meet your family...see the place you grew up. Your gut told you it was a red flag. But you still wanted to give her the opportunity to tag along, so she never could say you didn’t try.

You: Ok then? Danny and I are heading out early tomorrow morning around 7, and we’ll be back Monday. There will be an open seat for you if you change your mind.

Sophia: Not going to invite me over tonight?

You: It’s late...I think I’m going to bed. I’ll call you in the morning.

Sophia: Suit yourself. I love you, goodnight

You: I love you too

It felt foreign, typing those words. Seeing them on your screen. You were so used to falling asleep beside Sophia most nights. Telling her you loved her over the phone, and to her face while she was lying next to you in your bed.

But seeing them written out was like reading a foreign language, in a tongue you couldn’t comprehend.

I love you too.

It turned your stomach. Of course you were in love with Sophia. You had been for a very long time. You wanted her to move in with you, take up your time and your space, you felt happiness in her presence, and peaceful in her arms. She was smart, beautiful, talented, and a natural at her job. You could see yourself living out your days with her by your side.

But now….now her name felt like poison in your mouth. You dreaded the thought of having her around. She wasn’t taking up the innermost workings of your mind like she used to. Something had changed.

You had some real thinking to do on this trip, and you were ecstatic to have a few days of freedom.

—

Your alarm sounded promptly at 6:30am, giving you ample time to hit snooze a couple times before dragging yourself from your bed. After the second alarm, you found yourself eerily chipper for it to be so early; you were normally not a morning person, and everyone knew it.

You took a quick shower, and grabbed your remaining toiletries from the bathroom, throwing them in your tote bag. You dressed in some comfortable travel clothes, and made your way to the kitchen just as a text appeared on your phone.

Danny: Ready when you are

Perfect timing. You looked at the time on your phone, 7:11. No Sophia in sight. You took that as a sign that she was definitely not coming along.

You: I’m out the door now.

—

The morning air was warm but refreshingly cool on your skin as you walked outside to your car. A light rain was just letting up, drops of water adorning the grass. The sun was working its way up over the trees, birds were waking up, and you felt that feeling in your chest like you did on the morning of a field trip in elementary school. A break from the norm, a day full of freedom.

You inhaled deeply and smelled the summer air, fragrant with matured blooms flying through the easy breeze. You should wake up this early more often. Y/N had always been a morning person. She would always be early to school ready to face the day, while you drug your sluggish self through the hallways.

'Why are you always so lively in the mornings? Don’t you hate being up this early?'

'No Jake, I like to wake up with the world, not after it. I might miss something beautiful!'

You should have listened to her long ago, gotten into the habit, because as soon as you rounded the end of your street, you came face to face with the most vivid and vibrant double rainbow you’d ever seen.

Wow.

One on top of the other. The one on top slightly less deep in color as the one below it. Your mouth hung slack at the beauty. You slowed the car, and quickly pulled out your phone to snap a few photos. They didn’t do it justice. There wasn’t much traffic this early, so you slowed almost to a stop, letting yourself sit in awe of nature’s creation. It enveloped the whole city, seeming to tower over it in a protective shield.

This is what she meant. I might miss something beautiful.

—

You pulled into Danny’s driveway, and he came barreling down the walkway, bag in hand.

“Morning sunshine! Strange seeing you at this hour and us not being on a plane or a bus.” He said, throwing his bag in the back and climbing into the front seat.

“No kidding. I’m feeling pretty good, but I do need coffee, STAT.” You spit out. “Nine hours is a cakewalk compared to our normal trips though, huh?”

You backed out of the driveway and were on your way.

—

After a morning coffee stop, a food stop, and two stops to pee, you were making excellent time. The day was clear and warm, you’d ridden half the ride with the windows down. It was nearing late afternoon, and you were thoroughly enjoying the peacefulness of driving and listening to loud music. You and Danny didn’t talk a whole lot, but you did come up with a really cool piece of a riff, without having any instruments on hand at all.

“What time did Josh and Sam get into town?” You asked Danny.

“Um, they landed an hour or so ago. I’d say they’re back in town already.” He responded.

“Good.” You shook your head. You looked up the highway a mile or so, noticing tons of red tail lights on the road.

“Fuck… traffic’s backed up.” You groaned, as you noticed the congestion. As you approached, it slowed to a complete stop.

“Get on that app and see what’s happening.” you instructed your co-pilot.

Danny scrolled on his phone for a minute, reading through the comments of the drivers ahead of you.

“Shit… Two tractor trailers collided. Apparently debris from their loads is covering the highway. Hazmat team has been called.” He read.

“Dammit! Is there an alternate route?” you ask. You both searched through your maps, looking for another way to get around the wreck.

“We’re literally locked here, dude. Everything is blocked off.” He said.

“Shit… Glad we just stopped for gas.” You put the car in park, and made yourself comfortable.

—

You’d been sitting still for an hour and a half or so, many people were getting out of their cars and walking around on the road talking and visiting.

“This fuckin sucks…” You said, shutting off the car to save fuel. Luckily, the day had cooled off a bit and you didn’t need much air conditioning.

“You want a water?” Danny asked, as he exited the car and went to the trunk to dig in his cooler.

“Yeah man, thanks.” you answered.

He came back and sat down in the seat, exhaling hard as he looked at the floor.

“What’s up, you alright?” You asked him.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. I...I just...I’m kinda worried about you dude. We all are. You haven’t been yourself lately. You think you’re gonna be okay this weekend?” Danny asked, shifting the entire mood of the trip so far.

His words took you by surprise, and hit you in the gut.

“You guys don’t need to worry about me. I’m fine. I promise you.” You said with false hope in your voice. Danny paused.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” he finally said, “You’ve smelled like a brewery for the past couple weeks.”

You shook your head, choosing not to believe it.

“Ah, nothing much to talk about, y’know?” You were trying your best to slide past the subject.

“Mmm kinda, I mean a major blindside just hit you, right as you were finally getting past it. Moving on and stuff, you know. A pretty traumatic piece of your past just decided to show up again. I would be going fuckin' crazy too.” He said quietly.

“Really?” You asked, turning toward him. Maybe you...could talk about it.

“Most definitely. I mean, you and Y/N used to be it for each other. We all thought you were end game. And now she’s sleeping with your brother.” he says.

Ouch.

“We were young though, you know? Still trying to make sense of everything. And you gotta remember, she was basically being stalked, Jake...by a person she once trusted and loved. Who knows what other times he had found her, and she didn’t know it. Or what other things happened behind closed doors. She was probably terrified to do anything, let alone commit again.” Danny said.

You pondered on his words.

“But she knew me. Knew I’d be there, and do nothing but protect her. She still deserted me.” You begin to open up a little.

“She did know that. And she still does. But think about the fear she probably had all the time. After everything happened at the bar… it only amplified it. You know he put bruises on her arms long before we knew what was even happening. Who knows what else he put her through? Mentally, physically…” he trailed off. Both of you feeling uneasy about bringing up the touchy subject again.

You nodded your head toward him, showing you understood.

“And I don’t think she deserted you, man. I think she was at a very sensitive place in her life. Probably confused as hell. Saw us hard launching into a career that most people can only dream of. And you almost sabotaged it, for her. Imagine the guilt she probably had. It could’ve put all of our futures in jeopardy. She couldn’t just stand by and let you be her hero forever.” He looked toward you and smiled.

“I wasn’t trying to be a hero. I was just…you know. Trying to be there for her, and she never called after she left. She just…” you snapped your fingers. “Poof.”

“Did you reach out?” He asked.

You stared out the window reminiscing on years ago.

“Not necessarily.” you replied.

Danny took a long drink of his water. “You and Sophia though…things are pretty serious?”

“Yeah, they are. I mean, were...I guess. We briefly talked about her moving in soon. She’s actually already started to bring a few things. But God, lately... I swear. Something about her is off. She seems so...different...than me. Different than when we got together.” You explained. “The other night at Jimmy’s party, she disappeared for like, almost an hour. Then she came back flustered saying she had been looking for me, when I was in the same spot the whole time… I dunno. I do love Sophia. I’m comfortable with her.” you explain.

“Do you want comfort?” He asked.

You rubbed your face, shrugging your shoulders.

“Also, I hate to say this, but this shit with you and Sam. It’s really putting a damper on the band.” He said through an exhale.

“Do you blame me though? How would you feel? It’s the weirdest thing ever, having slept with the same person as your sibling has. And he wants to act like it’s no big deal? No big thing? It’s like he doesn’t understand why I stay fuming mad and fucked up all the time. Says he’s taking care of her while I’m not? What the fuck does that even mean? What am I supposed to do?” you say.

“I can’t argue with you on that. It is a strange situation. Maybe just think of them as humans. Just… adult humans. Making their own decisions. I’m positive that neither of them have ill intentions.” He shrugged his arms, there was no good way of explaining that from an outside point of view.

“I don’t know man, fuck. I can’t be with Y/N because she’s with Sam now. I don’t even know if she still feels the same towards me anymore…Even if she did… my hands are tied. I can’t leave Sophia, we’re in too deep at this point.” you hid your face in your hands again, rubbing your fingertips over your scalp.

“When you’re going to bed at night, who’s the last person you think of?” Danny spoke. “Even with Sophia lying there with you. Who do you see when you’re at your most vulnerable?”

You rubbed over your mustache. The answer didn’t come easy.

You thought about the rainbow you saw this morning. How the top one was more dull, less full of life. Still vibrant, but not as colorful as its counterpart below. Right now, you felt like the top rainbow. Somber, muted, only half of the bright glowing sight you used to be, hovering over the brilliant one below you. Protecting it. Giving it it’s time to shine. Letting it be what it wanted to be.

You finally gave Danny an answer, “I don’t know, man. It’s just all…fuzz.”

—

It was late, nearly 10pm as you turned onto the familiar street, in a town you’d pushed to the back of your mind. You turned on your brights as you drove slowly down the two lane road, a little unsure of where Danny’s house was. A place you frequented often, now just a distant memory. You both spot his mailbox at the same time, and you pull into his parents driveway.

You put the car in park as he opens the door, stepping out into the much cooler night air. You forgot how cool it was during the summer. Nashville was always hot, day, night, it didn’t matter.

He grabbed his bag from the back seat, “See you in the morning?” he asks.

“Yeah, man. I’ll text you. Thanks for the chat and the company, really appreciate it.” you say.

“Of course. See you then.” he says, shutting the door. You watch him walk up to his front door, disappearing inside. You roll your windows down, letting the clean cool air blow through as you make your way home.

The lights were on in the house as you pulled up, and you knew everyone was up waiting for your arrival. After driving all day, all you wanted to do was go to bed, but you knew that you had at least an hour of conversation to get through before that would happen. You parked in the grass, the same place you always did, almost out of habit. You pulled your bag from the trunk and made your way through the yard and in through the front door. It looked just like you left it. Not a single thing out of place. It smelled like home.

Your mind began flashing through scenes that had taken place from this very spot, good, bad, you relived them all in a matter of seconds. You saw Sam lounging on the couch, Josh in the recliner.

“You made it, huh?” Josh asked, standing up from the chair.

“By the grace of God.” you joked. “This place looks…”

“The exact same? I know, it’s weird isn’t it?” Sam says, finishing your sentence.

“Yeah.” You say dropping your bag by the door. “Is Mom awake?”

“I think so, I think she’s in the basement. Dad is finishing a gig.” Josh answers.

You nod and begin to make your way down the stairs. As you reach the bottom you see your mom sitting in her favorite chair, scrolling on her phone.

“Hello?” you say quietly, smiling at her.

“Oh my gosh! I didn’t believe them when they said you were on your way!” she says jumping up and wrapping you in a hug. “Ugh, look at you, so handsome.” she says as she looks at you.

“Okay, okay…” you say, hoping to end her compliments.

“How long are you staying, honey?” she asks.

“Just a few days, just wanted to come see you and Dad. Get away from the city for a bit.” you reply.

“You stay as long as you want, okay?” she insisted.

“Okay, thanks mom. Love you.” you said.

“Love you too, honey. Glad you’re home...” she smiled back at you.

Home.

A place you swore off of for years. You couldn’t bring yourself to come back. The risk was too high. You couldn't bear the thought of seeing her. So you didn’t. Not for Christmas, not for Thanksgiving.

Fights were had between you and your parents. Even Josh was mad at you that first year, but eventually they all stopped. They all started to understand. You couldn’t. It hurt too bad.

But now, here you were, three years later. Finally home. You knew deep down that the only reason you agreed to it was because you knew she wouldn’t be here. You could handle being home if you knew there was no chance of you running into her. However, the memories still lived here. Took place here. In this very room.

You trudged up the stairs back into the living room to find Sam passed out, and Josh typing on his phone.

“You going to bed?” he asks.

“I think so. I’m pretty beat from driving.” you answer.

“Alright, well…I can see that you’re already in your head. Don’t stay too long in there.” he says with a soft smile.

“I won’t, it’s just weird being back here.” you say.

“See you tomorrow? Gonna blow some shit up?” he asks with a smile.

“Fuck yeah we are.” you reply, making your way up the stairs.

The walk to your childhood bedroom was eerie. You haven't been up here since you moved out of the rental and stashed the boxes. Completely unable to go through everything after what happened that summer, you grabbed the necessities and headed towards Nashville without looking back.

You opened the door and turned on the light, finding fresh sheets and towels sitting on the bed, a hopeful gesture from your mom. You felt guilty that she was expecting you not to show up. You had to do better about staying in touch with her. You dropped your bag on the bed, digging out your sweats and the ziploc bag, filled to the brim with joints you took the time to prepare yesterday. Your contribution to this weekend's festivities.

The boxes you left were gone, most likely moved to the garage, and part of you was thankful. You were pretty sure that if you had to look at them it would have sent you spiraling back to a place you didn’t especially care to revisit.

You took off your jeans and t-shirt, before sliding on the sweats, and tying your hair up in a messy bun. You walked over to your desk, setting your bag on the chair, and turning on the lamp. Out of the corner of your eye you caught sight of your old notebook, tattered and abandoned. You picked it up, and flipped through the pages, forgetting about its contents. Your breath caught in your throat as you saw the place holder. You quickly slammed it shut and tossed it onto the desk. You grabbed your lighter and a joint from the bag and snuck down the hallway and back down the stairs.

As you reached the landing you saw Sam, still passed out on the couch. Josh had retired to his bedroom, and the lights were off through the house indicating everyone else had gone to bed too. You made your way to the back door, opening it and letting the cool air chill your skin.

You closed the door quietly behind you as you made your way to your favorite spot, under the old broken light, laughing to yourself that it was in fact, still broken.

You lit the tip of the joint, watching it burn a bright red as you took a long inhale. You let your head rest on the chair behind you as your eyes drifted up to the sky.

You instantly felt the weed begin to enter your system. Today was the first day you hadn’t had a drink in weeks. You knew you were hitting it pretty hard. Daniel helped you realize that today. You just needed to figure this out. Figure out how you were feeling. Was it jealousy? Anger? Sadness? You weren’t sure.

In fact, the only thing you were sure of was that you still loved Y/N. That you probably never stopped. You just buried it down deep enough that it couldn’t hurt you anymore. Or so you thought.

You puffed on the joint until it was done, discarding the butt in the ashtray on the table. You turned your sights back to the perfectly clear night sky and watched the stars as they twinkled.

How many nights had you spent out here wishing for the life that you had now? Looking at this same sky and wondering how things would turn out. Was it everything you expected it to be? Were you living your dream? Was it still the life you dreamt of if she wasn’t in it?

Your phone buzzed in the pocket of your sweats, pulling you from your thoughts. Sophia.

You shoved it back in your pocket. You told yourself you wanted to get away from her for the weekend, and that's exactly what you were going to do.

You stood up and made your way back into the house, quietly tip-toeing up the stairs and back into your room. You knew you were going to fall asleep as soon as you laid down. You couldn’t wait to go out on the lake tomorrow, spend some quality time with your brothers and just relax.

You slid into the clean sheets that smelled just like home, and shut your eyes. The cool air coming in through the small crack in the window was just enough to send a chill over your skin. There was no sound other than the stillness of the house. No cars, no trains, no music, nothing. Just silence, your brain was free. You pulled the blankets up over your chest, and as your body slipped into the most relaxed state it's seen in years, you saw Y/N, there in your mind. You fell asleep that night knowing you had the answer to Daniel’s question all along.

—

You dreamt of her that night, like so many nights before. But this time it was vivid. It was so real, you could hear her voice clear as day, talking and laughing. As your eyes fluttered open you stretched. You felt truly rested, and happy. As you swung your legs off the bed, you took a look around your old familiar room, the posters that hung on the walls, the knick knacks on the shelves. Perfectly untouched. You made your way to the bathroom, and brushed your teeth. You ran your fingers through your hair, and fixed the necklace that was twisted around your neck. Giving yourself a once over in the mirror you felt presentable enough to join the ruckus downstairs. You could smell breakfast cooking and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss your dads pancakes.

As you made your way down the stairs you heard everyone talking in the kitchen, but there was a voice, one that was slightly out of place, but intensely familiar. Surely it couldn’t be?

You shook your head, knowing it was your mind playing tricks on you, until you rounded the corner and realized it wasn’t. There sitting at the kitchen island with Sam, was Y/N, in tiny denim cutoffs and a tank top, the strings of her bikini peeking through the top. Christ.

You flicked your eyes up to meet your moms gaze, as you raised your eyebrows in question.

“Well good morning to you too, son.” she joked.

She turned around to look at you, her hair in perfect braids down her back. “Good morning.” she smiled.

You cleared your throat as you replied, “Good morning.” you said, tight lipped.

“You hungry?” your dad asked.

Seconds ago the answer to that question would have been a resounding yes, but suddenly your appetite had vanished. “Ahh, not yet. But thanks.” you answered.

She turned around in her chair to continue her conversation with your mother, as you grabbed Sam by the sleeve of his shirt, pulling him out of the chair and walking forcefully into the living room, and out of earshot.

“What the fuck? What is she doing here?” you asked.

Sam shifted his weight onto his right leg as he dramatically tapped his finger to his chin. “Well, I don't know if you know, but… her parents live ten minutes away. She was born here!” he answers sarcastically.

“Sam…” you say impatiently.

“Jeeze lighten up. She told her parents she would come back for the fourth a few weeks ago. I invited her to come to the lake with us.” he says.

No.

“You invited her to the lake?!” you all but yell. “Sam…” you groan.

“What? It will be fine.” he assures.

“So you knew she was going to be here all along?” you ask.

“Mmm…more or less.” he answers.

“And you just thought…you shouldn’t mention that to me?” you ask.

“Mmm…more or less.” he replies again, with a smug grin.

“You are on my fuckin list.” you say, finally walking over to sit by Josh on the couch.

Sam walks back into the kitchen chuckling under his breath as you turn to Josh.

“Before you say anything, no, I didn’t know either until she walked through the door this morning.” he says.

You huff, as you pull your phone from your pocket and shoot a text to Danny.

You: Guess who’s here…

Daniel: What?!

You: Pick you up shortly.

You couldn’t say that you weren’t happy that she was here. You remember the nights where you wanted nothing more than to spend one more day with her. Wishing for one more night on the porch together. Just one more summer day at the lake… and here it was, presented to you on a silver platter. Almost as if you had wished it into being. Even though it would play out differently than you’d imagined all those nights, maybe this was your chance to fix things. To be her friend. You could handle that, right?

HER POV

You knew it would only be a matter of time before Jake woke up. He was always the last up in the mornings. Always giving you a hard time about being an earlier riser. You scraped your fork against the plate as you ate the last piece of your pancake. As you and Sam talked about the plans for the day you noticed the familiar sound of feet descending the old wooden staircase. You swallowed heavily as you waited for him to enter the kitchen.

After a round of awkward good mornings, he pulled Sam away, to yell at him no doubt. What are you doing here? You felt bad crashing their boys lake day, but when Sam invited you to come you had a hard time refusing. At first, you’d told him no. But, he had a way with convincing you into saying yes, over and over and over…

Now as you sit at their kitchen counter absentmindedly playing with the food on your plate, you wonder if you should even be here at all.

“I’m so glad to see you guys all together again.” Karen offers.

“Yeah, it’s nice to be home for a few days. I really should come see my parents more often.” you reply.

“I think they understand, your life is just getting started.” she smiles, turning to wink at Kelly.

Your brow furrows as you realize that you haven’t seen Sophia. Surely she will be down any minute…

Sam rejoins you at the counter, quickly finishing his breakfast as he rests his head on your shoulder, “You ready to have some fun today?” he asks.

“Sure am! How ‘bout you?” You reply.

“Hell yeah I am.” He said out loud.

He then leaned into you, whispering directly into your ear.

“I’m ready to see your beautiful body soaking wet in a bikini all day. It’ll be hard to not rip it off of you right there on the beach…” he growled.

You instantly got chills and giggled. You put your entire hand over his face and pushed him away. He sent you a wink. Luckily, his parents had started the dishes, drowning out any sound in the room.

“Well, I think everyone else is ready to go, just have to load up the car.” he replied.

“Don’t we have to wait on Sophia?” you ask.

His brow furrowed, “Sophia didn’t come.”

You raised your eyebrows in shock, “Oh…” you replied, leaving it at that.

“Hey, can you braid my hair later?” he asked, putting on his best puppy dog eyes.

“Of course, I can.” you laughed, standing up and depositing your plate into the sink.

Maybe today was going to be better than you expected.

—

With Jake's Jeep loaded down with supplies and a cooler filled to the brim, you watched as the guys all piled in one by one.

“You can take shotgun, Y/N.” Josh offers.

Panicked at the thought of having to sit by Jake, you reply, “Oh, no, I’m gonna sit in the back with Sam. I promised I would braid his hair. Thanks though!”

You slid in next to Sam, the overwhelming smell of Jake taking over your senses as you shut the door behind you. You buckle your seatbelt, and as you look up, you catch Jake’s eyes in the rearview mirror and you're instantly transported back to that life altering day, Freshman year.

You quickly look away and turn to Sam, “You ready?” you ask.

“Always ready for you, sweet thing.” He said.

You gathered his hair in your hands, running your fingers through it to get out the knots. You spent a little extra time on this part, teasing him a little. You dug the pads of your fingers deep into his scalp, something you learned that turned him on. You made sure to hit his sensitive spots, alternating between smoothly massaging and forcefully digging your nails in. You see his body tense up, and you laugh to yourself, knowing you were causing him distress. Jake and Josh were having their own conversation in the front seat, not paying much attention to you at all. You wrapped his hair up in your hand, giving it a little tug backwards before letting it loose and massaging again.

“You’d better watch. Your. Fucking. Self….” you heard him murmur just loudly enough for you.

You decided to let it go, and braid his hair like he asked, still completely pleased with your teasing display.

Happy with your work you tie off the end with the elastic band from his wrist, tucking in the stray fly aways around his face. He turns to face you. “Perfect.” you smile at him.

He gently takes your chin in between his fingers, bringing himself close to your face. His eyes traveled from your eyes to your lips, as he bit his.

“God I wish we were alone in this backseat right now...” he whispered. He then placed a warm kiss right to your lips, sweet and slow. You felt your heart leap.

Your first real PDA in front of the guys…you knew Jake had to of seen it. Why did you feel guilty?

Sam pulls his phone from his pocket and starts to scroll through social media, thumbs typing away at a message as you turn your vision back to the front of the car. Jake is sitting stoic, keeping his eyes focused on the road. If he didn’t see it, he definitely heard it. Just then you are pulling into Danny’s driveway, and you see him run to the car with his own bag of supplies.

You unbuckle your seatbelt, and slide over into the middle of the seat, making room for him to join you. He tosses his bag in the trunk with the rest of the items and dashes back over to the side before climbing in next to you.

“What a lovely surprise, I didn’t know you were joining us!” he exclaims, meeting Jake’s eyes in the rearview.

“Yeah, Sam knew I was here visiting my parents and asked me if I wanted to come. Forced me actually.” you laughed.

“Hell yeah, I’m glad you made it!” he replied.

The drive to the lake wasn’t long, maybe thirty minutes. The car ride was filled with singing and laughter, and it really did feel like those old times Sam had promised. You hoped that feeling would continue for the rest of the day. Meeting Jake’s eyes in the rearview had your head spinning. Why was he looking at you like that? Was he mad that you were here? Maybe you should keep your distance today.

As you pulled up at the lake, a few other cars were scattered about, families no doubt coming to find a cool reprieve from the hot summer sun. You all filed out of the car one by one, and made your way to the trunk, ready to carry supplies down to the water. Jake handed off bags and coolers one by one, until you were the last one left and only a small hand cooler remained.

“I’ve got it.” he said, sending you a nervous smile.

You clutched your bag in your hand as you nodded and turned to follow the rest of the guys down the familiar dirt path. It had been years since you all came here together, and you couldn’t wait to go for a swim. It was hot, and sunny. The perfect weather for the 4th. As you met up with the guys they had just begun laying out the blanket, marking their spot for the day. Sam set up chairs, and Danny opened up the cooler, ready to start drinking as soon as possible.

“Whatcha think Y/N, will this spot work?” Josh asked, flashing his toothy smile.

“Couldn’t have picked a better one myself!” you insisted. “What's in that cooler, anyways?” you smiled.

“Oh, I picked up some white claws for you at the store yesterday, they should be in there!” Sam replied. What an angel.

“How nice of you, Samuel.” Danny said, digging in the cooler to find you a can.

“Yeah, fuck tequila, claws make her clothes fall off.” Sam laughed.

“Fuck you, Sam!” You yell, face turning red.

“Maybe later, love. We’ve got swimming to do.” He answered.

Danny passed you the icy can and you popped the tab, just as Jake was walking up. He threw down his things and got a mischievous grin on his face as he turned to Josh. “You have two seconds to start running…” he said, challenging him.

Josh knew exactly what he meant. It was a ritual of theirs. Jake would give Josh a head start, letting him run as fast as he could towards lake, then Jake would take off, inevitably catching up to him, and taking the victory as the fastest twin as they both jumped into the water.

Josh practically ripped his shirt over his head and kicked off his shoes, sprinting towards the water. You all laughed as you watched him take off screaming, before turning your attention to Jake, pulling his shirt over his head and taking off after him. You and Danny were laughing hysterically as you watched Jake take the win, Josh cursing at him as Jake dunked him under the water. You turned back to laugh with Sam, but saw him furiously typing away on his phone.

Wanting to feel the water for yourself you began to remove your shirt, hesitating as you did, feeling the creep of self consciousness bloom in your chest. Your body didn’t look how it used to, you had filled out…everywhere. It didn’t matter how many times Sam told you how gorgeous, or how perfect you looked over the last few weeks, it was still there, and you wondered if Jake would feel the same way Sam did.

Why did you care? Jake was with Sophia. You and Sam were….involved. Jake's opinion didn’t matter…did it?

You removed your top, and wiggled out of your shorts leaving you in the navy blue bikini. Your hair hung in two braids, and your favorite sunglasses rested on your nose. You folded your clothes and put them in your bag for later. You picked up your drink and turned to Sam, “Want to go swim?” you asked.

“You know it!” he said, tossing his phone in an empty chair and pulling his shirt off to meet it.

On your walk down to the water, Sam grabbed your hand, interlacing your fingers and swinging your arms sweetly. You both stepped in, letting the cold but refreshing feeling chill your warm skin. You could feel Jake's eyes on you as you stood there, raking over every developed feature of a body he hadn’t seen in years. A body that used to be his. Now being hugged and touched by his brother.

“You two coming?” Josh asked. At least you think it was Josh. Something about the twins being soaking wet made it hard to tell them apart. You only knew it was Josh by the sound of his voice.

Suddenly, Sam wrapped his arms around your waist and proceeded to walk forward into the water. You wiggled and thrashed in his arms as he made his way into the deeper water, “Sam! Sam! No! Let me go!” you screeched. You knew he wouldn’t listen. He grabbed the can from your hand just as he tossed you into the shimmering water.

It felt good. It felt exactly like those old times you kept remembering. As you came back to the surface, you repositioned your sunglasses, and took your can back from his hands. “Oh, you’re on my list, Kiszka!” you chided.

“Ha! He’s on mine too.” Jake said playfully.

You turned to flash a smile at him, and before you knew it he was swimming away, further into the shining water.

Daniel joined you not too long after that, stating ‘his sunscreen needed to dry first’. Always the responsible one. You figured you probably needed to apply some yourself, the Michigan sun was harsh especially this time of year.

You swam back to the shoreline, needing another drink anyways, and made your way back to the small set up of chairs and towels. You decide to let your hair out of the braids and let it dry in the sun. You place the elastic bands on your wrist as you dug around in the cooler. You grabbed another white claw and settled yourself on the towel you laid out, letting the sun dry your skin.

You pull your book from your bag and try to find your place, overhearing all the ruckus from down at the lake. You read a few lines before you find your eyes drifting up and over the page, watching as the guys swim and talk. You push your sunglasses down your nose, trying to get a better look at Jake as he floats in the water. Just then his eyes glance up to you, connecting with yours for just a brief second, before you turn your face back into your book.

Caught. Damnit.

“Hey gorgeous. The view of you from the water is absolutely phenomenal. I really didn’t want to leave the water...” Sam said, approaching the blanket to sit beside you.

“Hmm...what made it phenomenal?” You asked with a smirk.

“I dunno…” he leaned in closer, secretly bringing a hand to your bikini tie on your side. “These ties sit perfectly on your hips…” he grazed his fingertips up your side. “And this top accentuates your curves perfectly…” his fingers were now drifting across your chest, giving you a chill. He let them tickle up your neck. “It hardly covers anything at all. You’re barely leaving anything at all to my imagination, baby.” Your breath started to quicken, simply from the way he was talking to you. “I’d really like to pull this to the side…” he said, placing his hand right over top of your heat. “Do you think they’d notice if we disappeared for a minute?” He was halfway serious.

“Mmmm…yes. They’d definitely notice, Sam.” Your voice was shaking.

“Ha... You’re right. It’s too bad.” He bit his lip, fingers still ghosting your bare skin. He leaned into your ear again.

“I bet this bathing suit isn’t the only thing that’s wet right now, hmm?” He said lowly.

“Jesus Christ sam, can you shut up, please?” You said through gritted teeth.

He laughed and pulled away.

After a little while, the guys each made their way back up to your spot, grabbing fresh drinks and a snack, basking in the sunshine as the alcohol carried away your inhibitions. You had begun to doze off underneath your sunhat as you heard the crunch of the sand as someone approached. You sat up on your elbows, as your eyes adjusted to the sun. It was Jake.

He crouched down in front of the cooler, pulling out a Corona, and hesitating for a second as he turned to look at you, “Want anything?” he asked.

“Sure, anything is fine.” you replied.

He dug around towards the bottom, and pulled out another Corona, to match his. He opened the bottle and handed it to you, before lifting his own towards you, “Cheers.” he said with a raised brow. You could tell he was feeling the alcohol, just from his smile alone.

“Cheers.” You replied, tapping your bottleneck to his.

He took a seat next to you, and you both sat in silence, as you watched the others struggle to blow up the tubes they brought.

“How long until Sam passes out, you think?” he joked.

“Mmm… I’ll give him five more minutes.” you both laugh, as if right on cue, Sam throws the tube down and dramatically clutches his chest.

You can’t hear exactly what they were saying from where you sat, but it was a string of profanities and jeers towards Sam.

The giggle that left Jake’s chest made you smile. You hadn’t heard that sound in a long time.

As you continued to sit and watch you wondered why Sophia didn’t come. Did he invite her? Did she turn him down?

The alcohol had begun to break down your barriers, and you found the thought slipping from your lips before you could stop it. “Why didn’t Sophia come with?”

He turned to you, resting his arms on his knees, “This…” he said gesturing around him, “...isn’t really her scene, I guess.”

“That’s too bad.” you offered.

You could see him biting the inside of his lip as he slowly nodded his head, “Is what it is, I suppose.”

You feel your skin starting to turn pink, and you realize you never put on sunscreen. You reach behind you and grab the bottle, squirting a small amount onto your fingers and pressing them to your cheeks and nose.

You turn to Jake, and offer him the bottle with a raised brow.

“I don't know, do you think I need it?” he asks.

“I don't know, take your sunglasses off…” you ask, and he does, lowering them just slightly, giving you an unfiltered look at his brown eyes. You swallow harshly as you scan his face.

“I don't think it would hurt.” you say, sending him a side smile, as you continue to rub the lotion into your shoulders.

“I just hate the feeling of sunscreen on my hands.” he says, rubbing his fingers together.

Feeling brave, your eyes meet his, and you shrug, “Well… do you want me to do it?”

He is taken aback at your offer, but quickly regains his composure. “Oh, you don't have to...” he said nervously, playing with his empty bottle.

The voice inside your head was screaming at you. Stop! Don’t do this! But you put a metaphorical piece of tape over her mouth and shoved her into the closet. You wanted him to say yes. You wanted nothing more than to feel his skin on your fingers one more time.

“Are you sure?”

JAKE POV

Her question echoed through your head like it was spoken through a megaphone. ‘Are you sure?’ No, of course not. You absolutely were not sure. In fact, you have thought of nothing else since you watched her take the sunscreen out of her bag.

You watched her as she rubbed the sunscreen into her arms. You haven’t been able to take your eyes off of her all day, catching glances of each other from across the lake. Watching her as she laid up here sunbathing, you couldn’t stay away any longer.

“Okay, sure.” you answer. The words left your mouth before you could second guess them.

She seemed surprised by your answer, as she turned to face you. “Okay, where do you want it?”

Wherever you’ll touch me.

“Maybe, just my face and shoulders?” you ask.

A shy smile crossed her pink cheeks and you felt your heart leap into your throat. You knew that smile. You’d seen it a thousand times before. She was nervous.

She squeezed a fair amount onto her hands, rubbing it together before you saw her hands as they started to come in contact with your shoulders. It almost seemed like she was moving in slow motion. You felt her small hands against you as she spread the lotion on your shoulders, your eyes practically rolling back into your head at the long awaited contact. The feeling of her hands on your body, reigniting the smoldering and almost extinguished ember glowing in your chest. Her hands slid around effortlessly across your skin, making sure to reach every spot the sun would touch.

Before you knew it, they were gone.

“Okay, you have to take off your sunglasses if you want me to do your face.” she said, holding her hands out.

You pushed them up into your hair, as you let your eyes meet hers. God, you had almost forgotten how beautiful they were. She moved to kneel in front of you, just before gently placing her fingertips on your face. You let your eyes close as she worked, but you could feel hers burning into your skin. The feeling of her fingertips gliding over your cheeks was torture, bringing back every memory of her ever touching you, in bright vivid color. Taking special care to cover your nose, she continued to rub it in until it had disappeared, and then, again, far too quickly it was over.

She sat back, pushing her own sunglasses down back over her eyes, “Perfect.” she smiled. You put your sunglasses back on and looked over to her, “Thanks… for that.”

“Thank me in twenty years.” she winked through her shades.

“I will.” you laughed, secretly hoping that you could.

Just then Sam came rushing up to the two of you, soaking wet, hair dripping everywhere, and completely out of breath, “Hey babe, the tubes are done. You coming?” he asked her, leaning over to grab a drink.

“I’m in!” she squealed, taking his hand as he helped her up. As she stood you took her in. She had changed a bit since the last time you saw her…like this. She was so…beautiful. Perfect in every sense of the word. Your eyes magnetized to her as she walked away with Sam, watching her hips sway in her tiny blue bikini. Just then she turned to look over her shoulder, locking eyes with you, silently asking you to come with.

You got up, and followed them down to the water, watching as they laughed, arms hooked together and you wished it was you. You knew you should be happy that you even had her hands on you for a minute, but now, you wanted more. Needed it.

Josh positioned the tube for her as she fell backwards into it, floating away to catch up with Daniel. Next was Sam, then Josh, and finally you. You all floated there, drinks in hand for what must have been an hour, taking turns bumping into one another, splashing and laughing.

What you couldn’t turn your attention away from though, was the way Sam left his tube, to hang on the side of hers twirling her hair between his fingers as they talked and swam around the lake. The smile he could put on her face was undeniable and you felt a pang in your chest wishing that you had caused it.

Feeling your fingers start to prune you slipped out of the tube and under the water, rewetting your hair and cooling your sun kissed skin. Slowly they each began to join you as you swam around talking and giggling. You watched as out of the corner of your eye you saw her floating on her back in the water, the sun shining off of the wetness of her legs. She looked so pretty. Sam left her and returned to the shore and you knew this was your chance.

Feeling confident, thanks to the alcohol, you swam over towards her, sending a wave of water over her body, and startling her from floating. She swam over to meet you, as you asked, “Do you want another drink? I’m going up…”

“Okay, sure.” she answered with a smile.

You made quick work of grabbing more drinks for everyone before returning back to her. Josh joined you and you all swam in a circle as you talked and that's when you felt it. Her leg ever so slightly brushing against yours. You could see her eyes flick up to you as it happened, a small smile playing on her lips. You thought maybe it was just an accident, until you felt it again. You looked over to her, deeply engrossed in the story Josh was telling, but a smile still perched on her face.

She’s doing this on purpose…

As you listened to Josh continue, you let your foot trail against hers, the action sending a spark through your body. The longer he talked the more it happened, and for once in your life you wished that he would talk forever. Sadly though, his story ended and he swam away, leaving the two of you pruney and flustered. Were you going to talk about it?

Just then, the idea struck. The cliff. You’d ask her, but you needed to wait.

“I’m gonna go back to shore, you coming or staying out here?” you ask, feeling her feet tangle with yours.

“I’ll come, I’m all pruney anyways.” she giggles. The alcohol was definitely hitting her, and you couldn't tell if her cheeks were pink from the drinks, the sun or a little of both.

You returned to the shore, meeting Daniel and Sam at the cooler. You all sat and let the sun dry your wet bodies as it began to dip in the sky. It really had been a fun day, but there was just one more thing you wanted to do, and you hoped she would come along. As Daniel, Sam and Josh fell deep into conversation, you peeked over at her from the top of your sunglasses until you caught her attention. She lowered her book to listen as you leaned forward towards her.

“Did I ever take you to my secret spot?” you asked quietly.

She shook her head no, and closed her book.

“Do you want to see it?” you asked nervously.

“Right now?” she replied.

You looked over at the guys, far too drunk to make the trek, and nodded, “Yeah, we should go before the sun sets.” you say.

She bites her lip and looks over to Sam, who is listening to Josh as he nurses his beer.

“Okay, let’s go.” she says, standing up. Her hair has dried in long waves around her shoulders, framing her face and the sun provided a warm glow to her skin.

You took off your sunglasses and tossed them on the blanket before standing to meet her, “Leave your shades, don't want to lose them.” you smirk.

“Where are you two going?” Daniel asks.

“Gonna take her to the spot.” you answer with raised eyebrows.

“Has she never been?!” Josh asked.

“Apparently not. You guys are welcome to join, but it would seem you are a bit…inebriated.” you joke.

Sam jumped up and walked over to her, “Be careful, I will need you in one piece later…” he said with a kiss on her cheek and wink at Daniel.

She smacked his arm in embarrassment as she shook her head. “One more comment Sam…” she warned.

“Have fun you twooooo” Josh called out, as you began to walk down towards the woods a flush filling your cheeks.

——

You led her down the old path that you hadn’t set foot on in many years. It was lined with wildflowers and tall grasses, and the leaves of the trees above made for tiny sun filters that allowed beautiful streaks of the red-gold of the setting sun to peek through. You could hear her footsteps following closely behind you, rustling the leaves that littered the otherwise all dirt path. Your heart was beating a million miles a minute. This was the first time you’d been alone with her in years.

You let your hands glide across the tall weeds beside you as you walked, careful not to be in any hurry at all. Neither of you spoke, but instead just chose to take in this short lived moment. Your hand caught on a particularly tall daisy, and you pulled it up from the ground, twisting the stem around your fingers to keep your hands busy.

You glanced down at the perfect white petals of the flower, and a memory shot back in your mind.

“No Jacob, you do it! It doesn’t make sense if I do it.”

“Fine, hand it here.

‘She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not…..”

The petals were falling to the ground as you continued around the flower, her eyes studying your hands like she did when she watched you play guitar.

…she loves me.”

“Seeee? I told you I wasn’t lying to you. Even the universe knows it.”

You shook the memory from your head, and tore the long part of the stem off the flower, leaving just a little bit behind. The alcohol must still be flowing through your system pretty well, because in an act of bravery, you stopped and turned back to her, and handed her the flower. She slowly took it, her eyes flitting to yours as her fingertips barely grazed the sides of yours. She smiled, and you felt like your heart had exploded into a million pieces.

“S’ a daisy.”

“Yes, it is.” She giggled at your slurred words, and tucked the flower behind her ear. She is so pretty. “Thank you.” she murmured.

The path was mainly flat, but it began to go uphill just a little toward the end. You were getting close. The edge of the lake became visible again through the thick trees and bushes, and your stomach turned over with adrenaline.

“I can’t believe we never brought you here before, all the times we’ve come to the lake.” you said as you stepped up on a large rock that began to lead out to the overhang. It was a big step up, a good two feet, so when you crested the top, you instinctively turned to offer her your hand. She paused, quickly glancing up to meet your eyes. She took your hand gently, and electricity sent itself barreling through your body, starting at your joined hands and escaping through anywhere it could. You pulled her up onto the rock, and made sure she was steady before you let her hand go. She was entirely blushing, and you felt redness creep up in your cheeks as well. Then you turned around and walked out onto the ledge, her following closely behind.

You gestured widely, presenting the most beautiful view to her.

“Ta-daaa,” you proclaimed. “I give you Grandview rock.”

She stepped closer to the edge, taking in the scene.

“Wow,” she said breathlessly. “It really lives up to its name, doesn’t it?”

“Well, we kinda named it that. Because. Well, it is a grand view.” You felt embarrassed at your words, suddenly feeling shy sharing conversation with her in this way again.

She laughed hard and loud, instantly making you feel relaxed. God, you’d missed that sound. Her laugh was always different when it was you that caused it. You found yourself craving hearing it again.

“You guys never cease to amaze me.” She said, sarcastically rolling her eyes. She crossed her arms, and inched her way to the edge, extending one foot to keep her balance while she peered over.

“How high up are we?” She asked.

“Ah, not too high. 25, 30 feet maybe.” You answered.

The sun was setting low now, and you knew it would be dark soon. The beams caused her skin to radiate, her face glowing with the tinted pink from the day’s sunburn.

She stepped back, keeping her arms crossed across her body. She suddenly had chill bumps forming all over her. She seemed uneasy.

“Well, the sun is gonna be gone soon, we’d better go now.” You said, trying to break her from her apparent self-consciousness. You wished she didn’t feel that way around you.

“Okay,” she said, turning to walk back off the rock.

“No no, Y/N. We’re not walking back.” You stopped her.

She was instantly puzzled.

“We’re not? Well then how the hell are we-" she paused. “Jake, no. We’re not. We can’t!”

“What do you mean, we can’t? We have to. We came up all this way.”

“It’s too high! And I’m scared of heights, remember?” She exclaimed.

You did remember. You’d forgotten, but now you remembered.

“I promise you, it’s not as high as it looks. And we’ve got liquid courage to help us through it.” You pried. She stood still as a statue.

You stepped closer to the edge.

“Well, I came here to jump. And I really don’t want to jump alone. S’not as fun.” You tried to sound confident, meanwhile you were jumping out of your skin with nerves. Not nerves from jumping from a rock that you’d braved since boyhood, but having her here, about to jump with you. You extended your hand back to her, curling your fingers up in a ‘come here’ motion. She didn’t move.

“Come on, we’ll jump together.” You said.

“Are you sure it’s safe?” She said nervously.

“I swear it is. I’ve done it a hundred times. We all have.” You motioned again. She slowly walked toward you, and raised her hand to clasp in yours. Fireworks.

“I’m scared, Jake.” She laughed through nerves. Her body was visibly shaking with adrenaline. “This is crazy…”

“A little bit. But I won’t let you get hurt. I’ll keep you safe, I promised you that a long time ago.” You squeezed her hand in yours, feeling the tiny twinge of remnant pain still lingering in your joints. But you couldn’t care less. She was holding your hand.

She smiled the sweetest smile, and took a couple more small steps to the edge.

“There you go...almost there.” You pushed. You never once pulled her toward you, just let her make the journey herself. “Put your toes on the very edge, and launch yourself outward when you jump. Point your toes, ok?” You pep talked her.

She slowly nodded. “Okay...”

You looked her in her eyes, the last of the sun light shining directly through them.

“Do you trust me?”

“Of course I do.” She whispered, returning your gaze. You swore your heart was going to jump out into the water before you.

“Okay, on three. 1…..2…” you squeezed her hand hard. “3!”

The both of you floated through the air for what felt like hours, you looked toward her while you were in mid air, the look on her face full of terror and excitement.

You hit the water together and sank deep, letting go of each other’s hands. The bubbles were rushing up your body and tickling your face as you exhaled through your nose. You opened your eyes under the water, quickly scanning the water searching and reaching for her. You finally found her, arms outstretched to you, doing the same. You took her hand again, pulling you both to the surface. When you peaked, you were met with a sight you thought you’d never see again. She was smiling ear to ear, catching her breath and wiping her face.

“WOOOOOO!!!” She screamed as she punched a fist into the air. She was so proud of herself. “Hell yeah!” The pure adrenaline and serotonin was dripping from her. You smiled and laughed back at her.

“You did it! See? I knew you could!” You began to swim closer to her.

“I did it! Shit....I can’t believe we did that. I’ve never jumped from that high before.” She said through panting breaths. She laid herself back in the water, floating around, letting her body relax on the surface. You had to stop yourself from going to her, touching her. You’d never seen her look this free before. Unwarranted and released from the grasps of anything and everything. She looked like the purest form of herself, and it was absolutely killing you.

“Oh my gosh...” you said as you picked a tiny floating object from the water.

The daisy.

She suddenly sat back up in the water. “What?”

You showed her the flower, missing all but one petal.

She swam closer, and gently rested her hand near yours, plucking the very last petal from the head.

Her eyes landed on yours, silently answering the question she knew you were asking. She did nothing but smile.

“Thank you for jumping with me, Jake.” She said, as she swam away, leaving you to sink to the very bottom of the lake.

—

Darkness had come quickly as you made it back to home base; you could already hear the sound of fireworks exploding off in the distance. Sam and Josh had gotten significantly more intoxicated in the meantime, still going in and out of the water and arguing over who was going to light which fireworks. Danny had started the campfire, and gotten out the makings for hotdogs.

“Will you two shut up and help me?” You could hear Danny boasting as you approached them.

“Hey! Did you take the leap of faith?” Josh asked as the two of you returned, halfway dry now from the walk back. Your felt a lump form in your throat.

“What?” You and Y/N both asked at the same time.

Josh stared at you blankly.

“The cliff...did you jump off? Or did you just go stand on it?” He replied sarcastically.

“Oh! We jumped. She jumped. Faced her fear and did it.” You replied.

She was met with cheers and applause. You really were proud. The four of you helped Danny to finish getting the food ready, and you sat around the fire and enjoyed the feast.

“Alright. Time to burn some shit and make some explosions!” Josh yelled as everyone finished eating.

You got up from your chair, and followed the guys to your car to grab the multiple boxes of fireworks. You opened the front door to hit the unlock button, and saw your phone buzzing in the cup holder.

Fuck. You hadn’t looked at your phone all day.

Sophia

3 missed calls

4 text messages

Ugh. you hadn’t even thought about checking it at all. You figured you might as well bite the bullet now. In all reality, you never even told her you’d made it safely last night.

Sophia: Morning baby. Happy Fourth!

Sophia: Can you at least send me something to let me know you’re not dead?

Sophia: Hello???

Sophia: Ok. Talk to you when you get home I guess. I love you.

Her last text message had come through hours ago. You felt a little bit bad, but after the way she had talked about your hometown and your way of life, you were really still pissed off. She didn’t deserve anything right now. You tossed your phone back into the cup holder, and grabbed your lighter and flashlight from the console. You also made sure to grab your special tin box of pre-rolleds from under your seat.

You glanced over to Sam, also standing at your car with his face buried in his phone. His fingers were clicking away furiously. “Sam, grab that box on the floor!”

He perked up. “Sure thing brother.”

You had all but forgotten you were still insanely upset with Sam, the talk with Danny earlier had kind of put things into perspective for you. Though you still felt like your feelings were hurt, and there was a lot of unspoken conversation to be had, you were glad that you both could put it aside for a few days. The conversation was for another time.

You all grabbed the boxes and brought them to a clearing on down the beach with a nice picnic table nearby. Y/N was out in front of you, waltzing her bare feet along the beach, kicking up sand and sticks as she went along. You swore you could watch her forever. Suddenly Sam came barreling up behind her, scaring her and scooping her into his arms, spinning her around as she yelped. He set her back down on her feet, leaving her with a quick kiss before he ran up to join Danny and Josh. That hurt a little. It’s one thing you’re really not having a good time getting used to.

The fireworks were all set up along the beach, ready to be ignited.

“Time to burn it down, bitches!” Josh yelled so loudly it echoed across the lake. This man and his love for fire.

“Here, pyro.” You said to Josh, tossing him your lighter. “You do the honors this year. Just don’t set yourself on fire.”

“Oh god, everybody stand far, far, FAR away!” Sam teased as he ran off into the woods with his arms flailing above his head.

You decided to join Y/N on the picnic table and watch the festivities unfold for once.

“Why is he the way that he is?” She asked you, laughing at Sam’s screams from the woods.

“I couldn’t tell you. Came out of the womb that way.” You answered, laughing. She was giggling hard at him, which caused you to also fall into a fit of giggles.

“Everyone stay the hell away from Josh! It’s for your own good!” Sam yelled from deep in the woods, sending you both into hard belly laughs.

“Shut the fuck up Samuel or I’m coming in there and setting you on fire!” Josh screamed back into the void.

You were clutching your chest with laughter, and she was wiping away tears. If there was one thing that was true, is was that she loved Sam just as much as you did. Not in the same way, of course. But he made her happy.

The night went on splendidly, the fireworks were a real sight to see, and Josh only accidentally caught himself on fire once.

“I’m gonna go grab another drink, you want one?” She asked you.

“No, I’m ok, thanks. I’m gonna drive us home. But I’ll walk with you.” You answered.

“It’s just right over there, Jake. I’ll be fine.” She said. Could she please stop saying your name so sweetly?

“Well, I actually forgot I got a surprise for everyone. Let’s go.”

The car was only a few minutes walk from the fireworks, but you sauntered along beside her, thankful for these small moments in time of just being with her. She walked to the cooler to grab refills for everyone, while you walked to the car to grab few small boxes from your console.

You met up again, and began the walk back.

“What’s your surprise?” She asked, looking up at you with her sunkissed eyelids half open. You held up the boxes so she could see.

She inhaled sharply. “Ah! Sparklers! I haven’t done those in years!”

“Yeah I saw them at the gas station and couldn’t refuse.” You said.

The two of you continued your walk, both walking noticeably slow enough that it took twice as long to get back to the guys as it did the first time.

She cracked open her drink. “You know, I’m still reeling from jumping off that rock. I’m so upset with you for not making me do that years ago.” She teased, and playfully pushed your shoulder. God, how can I get her to do that again?

“Ha, I’m sorry. I really don’t know why we didn’t either. It was fun, wasn’t it?” You answer her.

“It was fun. I might even do it again one day.” she laughed.

“Sometimes all you need is a little courage and someone to hold your hand.” you smiled. “But, please don’t be mad at me forever. I might not survive.” You put on your best accent, and clutched your chest teasingly and stumbled sideways. Anything to hear her laugh again.

She didn’t laugh. Instead her voice was low and serious.

“I’m not mad at you, Jacob.” Oh. We’re going there?

“You’re not?” You asked.

“No. I’m not.” She shook her head. “Are you...mad at me?” she asked nervously.

Fuck this got deep quickly.

Your thoughts were spinning around in your head, bumping against your skull and flying out your ears. You felt heat rising in your face. She had asked the question you’ve been waiting to answer for over 3 years.

You cleared your throat, “Of course I’m not mad at you..I’m just-“

Just then, a bottle rocket came flying toward the two of you, followed by screams of ‘look out!’ from the guys. You instinctively grabbed her, yanking her beside you and to the ground, standing over her as the rocket flew right past you and landed in the water.

“Fuckers!” You yelled toward them, helping Y/N off the ground. Now she was gonna be mad.

She stood back up with a wide smile on her face. “Shit, I spilled my drink!” She laughed. Your panic subsided. This girl is one in a million.

You finally made it back to the guys, throwing curses at them for almost lighting you on fire.

“Ahhh hell Jake, no harm no foul.” Josh slurred through his teeth. Yeah, no more explosives for him tonight.

“Give me the lighter, jackass.” You said to Josh, holding your hand out. He obliged. “Let’s move on to something more KID FRIENDLY since we’re going to act like children.” You said, not really meaning your words, just trying to irk Josh.

“Oh PLEEEEASE I’d like to see yewwww set fireworksh off tonight like I did. Me. The King.” He ended his sentence with a hiccup. You shook your head, and handed everyone a few sparklers.

You lit Sam’s, one in each hand, and he danced off toward the water, twirling them around doing some type of interpretive dance.

You leaned over to Y/N. “You sure you wanna go home with that tonight?” You joked.

The blush on her cheeks was visible even in the dark.

Danny was next. He pulled on his drink, which was mainly vodka at this point, and blew on his lit sparkler, sending sparks glittering all over the sand.

You reached into your pocket, and pulled out the tin box, removing one perfectly rolled joint.

“You next.” You said as you lit Y/N’s sparkler. You watched as the light flickered off her features and lit up her already glowing eyes. “Hold it still for a sec...” you instructed her. You took the joint and held the end closely to the brightest part of the sparkler, effectively lighting it. You took a couple puffs to get the cherry hot.

“Damn, now that smells lovely.” Josh said as you blew the smoke in his face.

Danny’s phone rang suddenly, pulling him away from the group.

“You gonna let me hit it?” Josh asked.

“Will it make you shut up?” You quipped.

“Probably not but we can see what happensss.” He said, raising his eyebrows over and over. You let him have the joint.

“Hey, my family is over at the main entrance of the lake visiting friends. They’re gonna come pick me up.” Danny said.

“Can I get a ride too? I wanna go home and get the movie ready.” Sam asked.

“Yep let’s go, they are on the way.” Danny said.

Sam came over to Y/N, basically soaked again from his water dancing, taking her in a hug. “You gonna stay here with them?” he asked her.

“Someone has to make sure they get home in one piece, right?” she joked.

“Thanks baby, see you at the house?” He smiled at her, kissed her cheek, and they were gone. The weed had hit Josh particularly hard already, either that or he was really feeling his liquor.

“I’m gonna go hop in the backseat. Take a little nap. Wake me up when I need to be woken.” Josh said, already walking toward the car.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA! FOR DEATH OR GLORY!” He yelled again, his voice echoing off the water once more. That one made you laugh.

It left you and Y/N alone, again.

You placed yourself back in your seat on the picnic table, and offered her the joint. She sat down next to you, and took a hit. You stayed silent for a few minutes, until the joint had dwindled down to almost nothing.

“Want the last hit?” You offered.

“If you don’t want it….” She said, accepting it and letting the last bit of the roach get close to her lips. She put it out on the table, and sighed deeply. It had grown fairly late, most of the fireworks had subsided, except for a few you could hear miles away.

“So, before we were almost set on fire…” her words trailed off. Yikes here we go again. You tried to quickly gather your thoughts.

You breathed heavily, staring out over the lake which had now become eerily still. The moon reflected off it, a perfect shining light. You let the effects of the weed begin to comfort your brain, letting it take solace in the state it was in.

“To answer your question, no, I’m not mad at you Y/N. I was… but… I don’t think I am anymore.” You admitted.

“You don’t think?” She pressed.

“I’m not. I’m really not mad. That’s not the….that’s not the word.” You were letting the thoughts come freely. You always did have a hard time being anything but honest with her. You wiped your hands against your shorts.

“Then what’s the word?” She was looking at you with complete attention now.

You took another breath, and decided to lay back on the table. You folded your hands across your chest, thinking of an answer. All of the times you replayed this scenario in your head, suffered through all the thoughts and dreams you had about her, you still never planned exactly what to say. Never thought you’d actually get the chance.

“I think I’m lost, Y/N.”

She laid down next to you, joining you in staring at the stars. She was silent for a minute.

“You’ve always been the best navigator I know.” She finally said, turning to look at you.

“I think I’ve lost my heading.” you breathed.

She turned her head again to look at the sky. You both stayed silent. She didn’t have an answer. How could she? She was in just as heavy a predicament as you were. You both laid there in silence for a while, letting your highs take effect.

Finally she spoke, “Can I tell you a secret?” she swallowed hard. “I’ve never told anyone this. You’ll be the only one…” she says, nervously.

“You know you can tell me…you can tell me anything.” you answer.

She pauses, working up the courage to speak, “I…have nightmares. About...him. About Andy. How he treated me…Followed me. They feel so real. They went away for a while but they come back from time to time. Sends me into full panic attacks. I have to walk around my apartment just to make sure hes not there. In that moment…all the fear…it comes back.” she says. “There were so many things I never told you about, Jake.”

You stopped her. “Y/N, you don’t have to talk about this..I get it-”

“No. No, I need to talk about it. To someone who understands… someone who gets it. He was horrible, terrifying. I felt trapped. The things he did and the way he acted sometimes…I was scared I wasn’t gonna get away from him, ever. I kept so many things he did a secret from you because…well… We saw how that went. The bruises on my arms were the least of how he hurt me. Mentally and physically. Parts of me are still healing.”

You were speechless. Struck silent by her confession. Your eyes were wide and your mouth hung open, unsure of what to say. “Y/N, I am so, so sorry...I…don’t know what to say. That son of a bitch was horrible. I’m so sorry you’re still dealing with this.”

Danny was right.

“I never thanked you, really, for what you did that night. For me. It truly got him away from me. You guys took me in and made me feel protected. I can’t thank you enough for that. I’m sorry it took me this long to say it.” She went on.

You turned to face her, “You don’t have to thank me. Or any of us. You’re family. That’s what family does for each other.” You assured her.

“And, Y/N?” you ask.

“Yeah?” she breathed out.

“Just so you know, I’d do it a thousand times over.” you whispered.

She nodded. It was silent again as you soaked it all in.

“Can you…not tell anyone about my nightmares? Sam doesn’t even know. It’s kind of…embarrassing.” she admitted.

You held up your pinky for her to take with your own.

“I pinky promise.” you breathed, but she didn’t let go.

You held her pinky down by your sides as you studied the skies again. You bravely brushed your thumb over her palm a few times. Purely comforting her.

Just then, a giant shooting star jumped across the sky. It was almost green in color and had a tail miles long.

“Whoa!” You both exclaimed. “That was crazy!” You both laughed at the experience.

“Do you ever wish you could just…catch them?” She asked.

“What?” You said.

“The stars. Shooting stars. Do you ever wish you could just jump up there and catch them?”

She was looking at the sky with so much wonder written on her face. The comfort you felt here with her, right now, was something you couldn’t explain. It was something you truly only dreamed of feeling again. The universe bringing the two of you back together again felt like the warm relief of a fire on an icy day. She felt like home, there was no denying it.

You laid for a moment longer, pining over her words. Catching stars. For some overwhelmingly strong reason, you felt the need to store those words in the back of your mind for now. Filing them away until it made sense.

You noticed a shiver wrack through her body, the heat of the sunburn no longer warming her, in fact doing quite the opposite. You knew your time at the lake was over, and it was time to put this perfect day to rest.

“You ready to head home?” you asked.

“We probably should, I think Sam is waiting for us to start the movie.” she replied.

Oh, right. Sam.

You both sat up, and stepped down from the picnic table, making your way back over to the blankets and towels. One by one you each folded the damp towels and blankets. You pulled your shirt over your head, and placed your things back into your bag. She pulled her shorts over her legs and her shirt over her body. Such a simple act shouldn’t have you feeling this way.

She gathered as many towels as she could hold, as you picked up the rest and you both walked in silence back to your car. Placing the items in the trunk, you could hear Josh’s snores echoing through the cabin. You both giggled quietly as you made your way to the front of the car. She climbed into the front seat, and buckled her seatbelt. A sight you never thought you’d see. As you shut your door and turned on the car, the radio came to life, causing Josh’s snoring to stop, as you quickly pressed the button to turn it off completely.

You heard him start back up again and you shook your head, laughing quietly as you backed out of the parking space. As you made your way down the dark roads, you sat quietly, just happy to be in her presence.

You watched as another shiver left her body, the effects of the sunburn really starting to show.

“Are you cold?” you asked, reaching to turn on the heat. As your fingers pressed the button they grazed her leg, soft as silk. You looked up at her, catching her eyes for only a second. “Sorry, I–” you stammered. “Do you want the seat warmer on?” you asked nervously.

She nods and reaches for the button at the same time as you do, your hands colliding with one another. “I’m so sorry, I–” you mumble.

“Jake. It’s okay. I promise.” she says, gliding her fingers over the top of your hand, before setting them to rest in her lap.

“Okay, I’m sorry, I just didn’t want you to think I–” she stops you mid sentence.

“I know. You don’t have to explain. I know.” she offers.

“Do you?” you ask, wondering if her brain is as fuzzy as yours.

“Yeah, I think I do.” she offers. “And we don’t have to talk about it. We can just… be.” she breathes.

“I think I’d like that.” you reply.

Half way through the drive you watched as her hands began to glide over her bare arms, attempting to create some heat on her skin. You tap your fingers on the steering wheel as it hits you. Oh, your flannel.

You pull the car over to the side of the road, slowly rolling to a stop. A look of concern crossing her face. You put the car in park, and begin to lean over the center console, reaching into the backseat, feeling around for the broken-in threads.

A look of panic spreads across her face as your face inches closer to hers as you lean further into the backseat. She thought you were gonna…

Bingo! You pull the shirt up to the front seat, returning to your seat, and gently offering it to her, hoping it would help combat her chills.

As she takes it from your hands as she realizes what it is. You put the car in drive, and pull back onto the road.

You watch out of the corner of your eye as she slides it on, hugging it to herself. Gorgeous.

“I can't believe you still have this old thing.” she giggles, playing with the cuff of the shirt. “This one was always my favorite.”

“I know…You should take it. Wear it. Always looked better on you anyways.” you offer.

“Jake, I can’t take this! It’s… it’s…” she struggles to find the words.

“Yours. Now, let’s make a plan on how we are going to get his drunk ass inside.” you laugh, hoping to change the subject, and hoping she would in fact keep the shirt. You weren’t lying, it did look better on her. It always did. Maybe that was even part of the reason you’d kept it all these years.

—

“Hey. Wake up. We’re home.” you say, shaking Josh’s shoulder. He barely opens his eyes.

“Get up or I am dragging you out.” you say, hoping the threat would work.

“Alright, alright…” he says, sitting up and running his hands over his face. “What time is it?” he asks.

You pull your phone from your pocket, “11:00.” you answer.

“Shit, where's Sam?” he asks.

“Inside waiting for us to start the movie, now if you’re done with twenty questions, I am about ready for a rinse off and a shower beer.” you say, stepping back from the door.

He stumbles out, and you both make your way to the door, promising to unload the car tomorrow morning.

When you step inside you see Sam and Y/N sitting on the couch, talking, her legs spread across his lap. His hands are slowly sliding up and down over her skin, and you feel a lump form in your throat yet again. You watched as he whispered in her ear, a small smile played across her lips. Damn him.

You walk straight to the kitchen, grab a beer from the fridge, and walk back out to the living room interrupting their private conversation, “I’m gonna go shower, and then we can start?” you ask.

“Sounds good, I think we are gonna do the same.” he answers. We? Did they do that? Did they do that… a lot?

You shook the thoughts from your head as you climbed the stairs, cracking the beer open. You shut the bathroom door behind you, and turned on the water to the shower, letting it warm up. You looked at yourself in the mirror, slightly pink, sunglasses affixed to the top of your head. You pull them from your hair, setting them on the counter, before slipping off your shirt and swim trunks, discarding them on the floor.

You grab your beer and step into the shower, rinsing away the sunscreen and the lake, lathering your body with soap, and washing your hair quickly as you drink down the cold beer.

You shut off the water, and toss the empty can in the small trash can. You wrap the towel around your waist as you exit the bathroom and make your way to your bedroom. Digging through your bag you pull out a pair of shorts and an old tshirt, slipping them on before running the towel through your hair.

Just as you stepped out of the room to hang up your towel you saw her shutting the door to the bathroom.You felt a spark of jealousy in your chest at the thought of Sam having her all to himself in there. Instead you threw the towel over your door, and made your way down to the basement to make sure you got your favorite spot on the couch. At least you could have that.

To your surprise as you reached the bottom of the stairs, you saw Sam sitting on the couch, legs crossed and typing on his phone. So he isn’t in there with her. Josh was there, passed out in the recliner, and you knew this time he wasn’t waking up until morning. You did, in fact, get your favorite spot on the couch, the part with the fold out recliner and you smiled to yourself at how familiar it felt to be in that spot surrounded by your brothers.

“What movie Sammy?” you asked.

“The best 4th of July movie there is! The Sandlot!” he answered, not looking up from his phone.

Strange. He is glued to that thing.

A few minutes later, the sound of light footsteps echoed above your head before growing louder and nearer. Turning your head to look towards the stairs you saw her, walking down the stairs, in a pair of Sam's sweats, his old cut up t-shirt, and your flannel. You could almost look past Sam’s clothes just because she was still in your flannel. She tossed you a soft smile, her hair hanging wet around her shoulders and her face pink from the sun.

She took the spot next to Sam at the opposite end of the couch, just as you expected.

Sam looked over to you, “You ready?” he asked, holding up the remote.

“Hit it.” you replied, and he pressed play. He jumped up to turn off the lights, before quickly returning to her side.

You’ll admit, The Sandlot really was a good movie for the 4th, the giggles that would escape your chest couldn’t be stopped. Around half way through the movie you heard Sam whispering. You turned your head to look at him, as he instructed Y/N to scoot further over on the couch. She did, moving closer towards you, as Sam moved with her, stretching his legs out and lacing his fingers with hers. You swallowed back the lump in your throat. If she wanted you, she would be next to you right now.

You turned your attention back to the movie, noticing your eyes feeling heavy. You extended the recliner further, and placed your hands behind your head as the movie inched closer to its finish. Looking over to check on Sam you noticed he was gone.

“Where did he go?” you asked, whispering so you didn’t wake up Josh.

She scooted over closer to you, “He said he was going to go smoke and he would be back. He asked if I wanted to come but we did earlier, so…” she answered.

You nodded your head, turning your attention back to the screen. Minutes passed, still no sign of Sam. It usually doesn’t take him this long.

As the movie ended, you watched the credits roll, and still no sign of him.

“You gonna go to bed?” you asked her.

“No, I think I could probably do one more… I mean, if you want to. You don’t have to, I can totally just hang out down here.” she stammered.

You smiled, “I normally stay up pretty late. I think I can do one more.”

After talking back and forth trying to select the next movie, you decide on Top Gun, trying to keep with the ‘America’ theme.

She keeps her spot next to you, as the movie starts. When an hour passes and there is still no sign of Sam, you shoot him a quick text but you’re left on read. So he is still awake…

You refocus on the movie, feeling your eyelids begin to grow heavy. As time passed it became a fight to keep them open. You aren’t sure when it happened but as you opened your eyes and looked over to Y/N, you noticed her eyes were shut, and her body relaxed into your side. Her head laying softly on your shoulder, and her feet next to yours on the recliner. Feeling perfectly content in this moment you let your own eyes shut once more, but this time taking in the smell of her lying next to you once again, just like you remembered.

---

Bzz. Bzz.

You forced your eyes open, the gentle vibration on your hip waking you. Your eyes scanned the dark room. The TV was off and Josh was gone. Sam was nowhere to be found. As your eyes adjusted you made the move to reach into your pocket only to be stopped by the feeling of the soft breaths on your neck. She’s still here. Completely curled up into your side, hand on your chest, nose nuzzled into your neck. But even more surprising was your left arm wrapped tightly around her waist, holding her in place. Even in your sleep you knew you needed her closer.

You pulled your phone from your pocket, the bright light illuminating the room. You looked down, seeing her lips slightly parted as her breath escaped, sending a wave of warmth over your body. She was stunning, even when she was sleeping.

The name on the screen is what snapped you from your moment of bliss. Sophia.

Suddenly you realized just how bad this looked. How wrong it was. You couldn’t do this. As badly as you wanted to stay right here, you knew you couldn't. You belonged to someone else. You’d get up. You’d go to your bedroom, right after you read this text.

Sliding the message across the screen it opened to a photo. Your brow furrowed as you looked at the picture and the text that came with it.

Sophia

2:05 am: Will this hold you over until tomorrow? ;)

You clicked on the photo, and what you saw was not what you ever expected. Standing in her full-length mirror was Sophia, in a pair of American Flag bikini bottoms, no top, only her fingertips covering her nipple on one of her breasts, the other completely uncovered. A sinful look on her face.

She’s sending nudes? What does she mean tomorrow? I don’t leave until Monday?

You

2:06 am: Tomorrow? I told you I'd be back Monday?

Sophia

2:08 am: Oh, I mean Monday. Love you, goodnight!

Feeling uneasy you started to wrack your brain. We never send each other photos like that… Why is she sending them now? She knew I would be back on Monday.

Just then you felt Y/N stir on your chest, her hand sliding over your stomach and around your waist, and god damn if it didn’t feel like heaven. She moved her legs further over, her feet tangling into yours as a sigh released from her chest. It was then in that moment that you knew you weren’t moving, and you definitely weren’t going up stairs.

You’d lay here like this with her until the sun rose and set and rose again. You knew she probably had no idea what she was doing, maybe even thinking you were Sam. But right now, all that mattered to you was that she was here, with you, like this, and no one had to know. You would never tell. As you wrapped your arms tighter around her, you held her close and pressed a kiss to her hair, realizing the worst mistake you ever made was not coming home sooner.

—

You were falling, hard and fast toward the water. The wind was blowing you all around, whipping you sideways and flipping you upside down. You reached for her, she had jumped with you, but as you looked over, she was gone. Was she still on the rock? Did she decide not to jump with you? You could still feel the tiny sparks on your hand from the feeling that was just there seconds ago. Her firm and steady grasp as you were about to jump together still lingering. The water was right below you, but you never seemed to hit it. You just kept falling. Faster, sideways, spinning… The waves were massive in the water below you, white crests and foam like the deep ocean during a storm. Not a calm and pristine lake you thought you were jumping into.

Finally, you hit the water. You sank…and sank. Where was she? Could she save you? You were swimming, fighting with all your might, paddling and kicking upwards as hard as you could, but you just kept sinking.

You woke in a cold sweat, panting and breathing hard as you realized you were dreaming. Your fuzzy sleep state faded away quickly when you felt the couch beside you, and didn’t find her there. She was gone.

Shit.

You sat up and wiped the sleep from your eyes. Scanning the room, finding yourself completely alone. It was still very early by the look of the light outside.

Where did she go?

You stood up to stretch, feeling the effects of a small hangover on the way, but nothing too serious. Josh, on the other hand, would probably sleep half the day.

Maybe she’s in the bathroom. Or went up to Sam’s room… Or the guest room.

You took the liberty of sneaking around your house to see if you heard or saw anything, but you didn’t.

She had vanished.

You looked out the front door to find her car gone from the place it sat yesterday.

Fuck…did she…regret last night?

You felt guilt wash over you. You truly hoped she didn’t feel resentment to the position she woke up in this morning.

You grabbed your phone from your pocket, noticing the battery on 3%, and also remembering the racy text you got from Sophia at 2:00 this morning.

What the hell was that all about?

You brought up the picture again, feeling strangely uneasy seeing her body in that way, displayed on your phone. She had never been the type of person to send you photos like that in the past, why now?

You decided to shoot Y/N a text, just in case something was wrong. You couldn’t see why she would leave without saying anything to Sam, let alone the rest of the family.

You

7:14 am: Hey, everything ok?

Short and sweet. You wait a few seconds, and see that your message came back as read, but she didn’t respond. You swallowed harshly. Maybe she really does regret it. You threw your phone onto the couch, and ran your fingers through your hair.

Had you messed everything up?

——

The rest of the day was spent with your family, cooking breakfast together and sitting and talking for hours. It was truly so refreshing to regroup with them, just like you used to. Sharing memories, plans, making meals and laughing too hard. But the whole day, the nagging thought at the back of your mind remained. Why did she leave so suddenly? Sam hadn’t talked with her, either.

Evening was drawing near, and you texted Danny to make plans for the drive back home the next morning, everyone riding together this time. When the plans were set you made your way up to your bedroom, to begin repacking your bag. You scanned the room looking for anything you might want to bring back with you, spotting the old notebook on the desk. You second guessed bringing it back, but for some reason you found yourself stashing it into your bag, zipping it away and wondering why you couldn’t leave it behind.

——

You pulled back into your driveway the next evening after dropping everyone at their homes, feeling relief to have finally made it home yourself. You unloaded your bags from the backseat, and made your way inside. You discarded your bag by the door, not caring enough to unpack. Your back and eyes hurt from driving all day, so you decided to grab a beer and head to your favorite place in your house, your study.

You kicked off your shoes and padded to the fridge, grabbing a corona. You popped the top and headed into the comforting room, the setting sun beginning to shine golden rays onto the hardwood floors. You plopped down in your big comfy chair, taking a deep breath as you let your head rest on the back for a few seconds.

You pulled out your phone, checking the screen in hopes of finding a text from Y/N, only to find your read message still sitting, with no response. Man, you really read this one wrong. Your thoughts began racing again. How she felt against your body last night...it was the best and most peaceful you’d felt in a really long time. Her breath on your neck, her hand on your chest...she felt so good and so right.

Everything before that at the lake, the conversations and secrets that you shared. Holding her hand again. Your brain was flying with thoughts. You thought about what Josh had said the day before, ‘I see you’re in your head again, don’t stay there too long.’” You’re sure it must be written all over your face.

You decided to pick up your acoustic, your old faithful that has acted as a vessel for your thoughts for longer than you could remember. You walked over to the stand, only to find it empty.

What the fuck?

You scanned the room looking to see if you’d laid it elsewhere. Nothing. You checked all around the house, in the bedroom, The guest bedroom, even checking the porch. It’s was nowhere to be found.

You stood and retraced your thoughts, trying to remember the last time you played it. You always put it right back on the stand. No matter what. And it was gone.

Breaking you from your thoughts, you felt your phone buzzing in your pocket. Finally a text from her?

No. Sophia. Calling.

You picked up quickly.

“Hello?” you answered.

“Hey baby, did you make it home?” she asked.

“Yeah I’m here. Just walked in the door a few minutes ago. How are you?”

“Good. I’m alright, just out running errands. I was gonna come over if that’s okay.” she asked.

You paused and looked around, not feeling like seeing her yet, but knowing that ignoring her all weekend probably left a sour taste in her mouth.

“Uh, yeah that’s fine. I’ll be here.” you replied.

“Cool. See you in a few.”

“See you.” you said, ending the call, and making the quick decision to swipe the conversation with Y/N, to delete it.

A few minutes later, Sophia was coming through the door.

“Babe! I’m here!” You heard her voice ring through the house.

“I’m in here!” You responded as you continued to search.

She walked into the room, smiling at the sight of you. “Hey there,” she said as she took you in her arms. “You look sunburnt!”

You hugged her back and suddenly she felt like a stranger.

“Yeah, we spent the entire day at the lake. I even wore sunscreen…” you said, memory flashing back to Y/N eyes meeting yours as she put sunscreen on your cheeks.

“I’m glad you had a good time.” She said, pulling back from your embrace.

“Me too. Hey, have you seen my acoustic anywhere? I always leave it right here in the stand, and it’s gone.” You asked her, brow furrowed.

“Which one?” She asked.

“My old one… had the chipped frets and carvings all over the back. It’s always right here…” you say with a questioning tone.

“Oh! Yeah, I know exactly where it is.” She looked at you silently, not saying a word as she swayed back and forth on her heels.

“…Okay, where is it?” You pressed, feeling slightly frantic.

“I may have...taken it to the shop. For a few little repairs…” she said sheepishly with smirk on her lips.

You felt stunned, angry, and anxious all at once.

“You did what?” You were peering at her through the sides of your eyes, making sure you heard her correctly. “What do you mean repairs?” you pressed.

“I dropped it off this morning. They’re going to fix it up a little bit for you, change the strings, sand it down…” she said.

You cut her off.

“SAND IT DOWN? What do you mean, sand it down?” You were seething.

“It looked so ratty, and cheap. I’m having them refinish the back of the guitar for you. Make it look brand new. I thought you would be happy!” She said with a grin.

“HAPPY?! Sophia! That was my FIRST guitar! It’s perfect just the way it is!” you said rubbing your hand over your forehead. You were trying to reel in the anger bubbling in your chest. “Do you have any idea what that guitar means to me? It’s not ratty, its fucking sentimental! How could you do this?” You were shouting loudly at this point.

“Jake, you’re overreacting! It’s fine! It’s still going to be the same guitar! Just prettier!” She defended her decision.

“Prettier?” You felt like you were spitting venom toward her. How could she?! You remembered all the work you put in to each and every carving of the Little Dipper, all the hours spent learning chords, listening to yourself play the same runs over and over and over, trying to create your muscle memory as a little kid. It wasn’t just any old guitar. Not to you.

“What repair shop?” You barked, pulling your phone out.

“It’s okay, Jake..I wasn’t trying to-“

“WHAT guitar shop, Sophia? Tell me now!” you yelled, not able to even look at her.

She shrunk back. “The one on 7th Avenue.” She finally admitted.

You knew exactly the place and you knew the owner. Your fingers were shaking as you googled the phone number, clicking it as quickly as you could. You glared at her as the call began to ring out. “You better hope they haven’t touched it.” you seethed.

“Hello? Hey man, my name’s Jake...” you glanced toward Sophia as you walked through the front door, and onto your porch, leaving her inside. “My girlfriend dropped my acoustic off there this morning for repairs. Please tell me you haven’t started yet…” you begged.

The voice on the other end answered, “Oh the Gibson with the carvings? Uh, yeah, all we’ve done is remove the old strings. Nothing else yet, should probably have it done in a day or two…” he said.

Thank god. You can restring it yourself later.

“Perfect. Actually, please don’t do anything else to it. It was a mistake. I’m on my way to come get it right now.” you said, before thanking him and ending the call.

You walked back inside, sliding on your shoes, and grabbing your keys from the dish by the door. Sophia stood there staring at you as you rushed around hastily.

“You’re lucky all they did was remove the strings. I can’t believe you did that. Can’t believe you even thought it was a good idea…This was so out of line Sophia.” you said, shaking your head.

“It’s just a stupid scratched up guitar Jake, you need to relax.” she said with spite.

“And you need to leave. I have to go.” you said, opening the door to let her out.

“Are you serious?” she says, shocked.

“Very.” you replied, raising your eyebrows at her, waiting for her to leave.

“You care more about that guitar than you do about me!” she yelled, grabbing her purse from the chair.

“At the moment, yeah. I do. This house, the things inside of it… the fancy dinners, the gifts, the weekend trips you love to take so much? None of that, I mean, NONE of it would be possible if it wasn’t for ‘that stupid guitar’.” you say, closing the door behind the two of you as she finally walked out.

You walked straight to your car, climbing back inside and attempting to shut the door, right as her hand stopped it.

“You’re seriously that mad, Jake?” she asked.

Unbelievable.

“You know Sophia, if you really knew anything about me or paid attention to anything I said, you’d know that that guitar means more to me than just about anything in my life. It should be obvious. Everybody else knows it. Have you never picked up on that? Don’t you think there is a reason it’s displayed how it is?” you ask.

She rolled her eyes, removing herself from the opening, letting you close the door. You knew she wouldn’t have a response to that. With a scoff, you threw your car in reverse and headed towards the shop.

You knew right then that she didn’t value the same things you did, and she probably never would. Fundamentally you were different. You aren’t sure how you never saw it before. She would never understand how something like an ‘old scratched up guitar’ would be worth more to you than any sum of money.

That guitar was a piece of you. An extension of yourself, adorned with carvings, each one special. Each one a memory. The thought of them being sanded away made your stomach churn. How could you erase history like that?

You rubbed your hand nervously on your pants as you pulled into the parking lot of the shop. Ripping your keys from the ignition and sprinting inside.

“Hey, I’m Jake, I called earlier about my Gibson.” you said.

“Oh, yeah, let me grab it.” he said disappearing to the back. You tapped your fingers anxiously on the counter, seeing him walk back out with it, the old strings wrapped loosely around the headstock. The lump in your throat forming as you laid eyes on it.

“Here ya go man, sorry about the mix up.” He said.

“No, it’s not your fault at all. How much do I owe you?” you asked, pulling out your wallet.

“Ahh, we didn’t really do much ‘cept remove the strings and we didn’t even finish that.” he laughed. “You don’t owe me nothin’. I will say though, if you had waited one more hour it woulda been too late. Good thing you called when you did.” he says.

“Well, thank you. Glad to have her back. Tell Frank I stopped by.” you said, nodding your head towards him, and carrying the guitar out of the store.

You propped it up in your front seat as you drove home, glancing over at it as you drove.

You let your fingers brush over the marks carved so long ago, feeling close to her as they glided over each one.

As you walked in the door of your house, you placed the beloved guitar back on the stand where it belonged, sitting down and thinking about what the man in the shop said. ‘An hour later and it would have been too late.’ Years of history gone in seconds. You wondered how the guitar would have looked, all polished, shiny and new. Would you still love it the same? Would you reach for it every time you had a new idea?

You’d never been one to replace things once they’d been broken in, time adding to the character and making them all the more loveable. Stories and memories ingrained into the very threads of things as deep as they could go.

Newness felt wrong to you, it always had. Shiny, unused, and pristine…where was the grit? Where was the heart?

Your house felt empty without its most prized possession, order restored as it sat in its stand now. Sure, the guitar was only an inanimate object, but it was so, so much more than that. It fit into your arms like it was made to be there. No other ever compared. Holding that guitar felt like holding Y/N. In a way, you were. Tiny pieces of her forever etched into the wood. Always with you even when she wasn’t.

That guitar rang out in tones that sounded like how it felt to be loved by her. To be in love with her. Whole and perfect. The songs written about her sounded all the sweeter when strummed on those old strings.

As you retrieved it from its stand and held it close, a sense of calm washed over you. The same calmness and homey feeling you felt as you held her close just the night before.

Plucking out the chords to the familiar old love song, you imagined it was her you were playing for. The love you harbored, radiating from your finger tips and onto the strings, and it showed with every note.

One day you’d play her every song you ever wrote for her.

It was all for her.

It always had been.

Part 9

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tearsofcaravel · 2 years ago

Text

Connection: Part 1

Sammy x (F) Reader

A smidge of Danny x (F) Reader

Word Count: 4.7k

Warnings: 18+, (F) oral, (F)&(M) masturbation, unprotected sex, squirting, choking

Summary: Enemies to lovers, Sam used to be your best friend, now your sworn enemy

Part 2

“You cannot be serious Daniel,” you huffed out.

Today had been such a great day. It was fall, your favorite season. The crisp yellow and red leaves covered the ground. The cool air wrapped around your body like a blanket. The sweet smell of spiced pumpkin swirled through your apartment. You were perfectly content and nothing could ruin your mood. That was until you came home.

“Daniel..You only call me that when you’re actually angry with me,” Danny laughed at you.

That’s because you were actually angry with Danny, you were furious. Danny’s best friend had been dumped, or rather kicked out. He shared an apartment with his girlfriend who’s name no one had bothered to remember. It was no surprise that no one liked her, he always had a terrible choice in women. He never stuck with them more than a few months, so there was no sense in getting close to any of them even if you wanted to, which you didn’t.

You had no idea how your sweet Danny could be friends with someone like Sam. Samuel Kiszka. Just thinking about him made you sick to your stomach. You hated being around him socially, you only put up with him for Danny. But you would not allow him to be a guest in your home, absolutely not. You would not stand for this.

Of course Danny would open your home up for Sam. You and Danny had gotten a place together about a year ago. You and Danny were long time friends, anywhere that Danny was Sam was sure to follow. A few years ago you actually considered Sam a close friend of yours, a best friend even. He was sweet and charming. You weren’t blind, he was attractive to say the least. You might have even had something of a crush on him, possibly more than a crush. Somewhere along the lines though, you and Sam grew apart, and by grew apart you meant more like mortal enemies.

It was around the time that you and Danny decided to move in together. Everything changed after that. At first he just started to be distant in small ways. He didn’t want to hang out as much. He stopped hugging you or holding a conversation with you. Then it became like he did everything in his power to be as far away from you as possible. You had no idea what you had done, anytime that you attempted to get some kind of explanation out of him he did all that he could to get out of the conversation. After a while you gave up on trying to figure out what went wrong. The feelings he had for you became mutual. Ever since then he was your enemy and that was that. It was like you had no history, like you hadn’t been best friends a year ago.

“Come on Y/n, it won’t even be for that long,” Danny gave you his best doe eyes.

“You didn’t even ask me,” you rolled your eyes. You knew Danny would win this. Despite your hate for Sam, you had a weakness for Danny, and he was well aware of this.

“Because I knew what you would say, you won’t even notice that he’s here.”

“I won’t notice he’s even here? You must be joking. We can hardly stand in the same room together. I give us one night before we kill each other,” you laughed out at him even though you were more than serious.

“Well, he’ll be here any minute so I guess I’ll go hide the knives,” Danny said half jokingly while making his way around the house to check for anything that could be used as a weapon.

Just as you were hoping that Sam would find literally anywhere else to stay, the door to your apartment swung open. You could feel your blood begin to boil. You watched as he waltzed right in like he owned the place. He shot you a shit eating grin, but didn’t even grant you a simple “hello”. He plopped right down onto your couch.

“Make yourself at home why don’t you?” you said not even looking in his direction. You were thinking maybe since you were doing him a favor he would treat you with some decency, possibly even thank you for allowing him to stay. Of course you were wrong. He knew you didn’t want him here.

He ignored your presence and started talking with Danny. You weren’t going to let him ruin your night, so you made your way to your room. “Goodnight Danny!” You made sure to only direct your attention to him. “Goodnight Y/n,” Danny called back to you, giving you a light smile.

“What, no goodnight for me, actually not even a hello, maybe a welcome? You wound me Y/n.” Sam dramatically called out.

“Why welcome you when you’re not really welcome here?” You ignored him and went to bed for the night, sleeping peacefully knowing that Sam was a bit bothered by how well you ignored him.

You woke up the next morning to the smell of breakfast being cooked. Danny was the chef of the house. You couldn’t make a meal to save your life, so thank goodness for him. You walked into the kitchen wearing an oversize t-shirt and your underwear. This was how you dressed when you were at home. If you were home you were going to be in your comfiest clothes, after all you were just lounging around, no need to be all dressed up.

“Good Morning Petal,” Danny said as he made you a plate of pancakes. You couldn’t help but to giggle at him. He had gifted you with that nickname after meeting you. You were standing under a tree that had rained flower petals down into your hair, it was cheesy really, but it always made you blush coming from him.

You never understood how someone could be so cheery first thing in the morning. You were the complete opposite, an absolute grouch. You were enjoying your peaceful morning with Danny when the demon emerged from the hallway. Sam didn’t bother looking at you or even greeting you. He fixed his plate of breakfast and sat down by Danny at the bar. The room fell silent, poor Danny tried to make small talk, it was a failed attempt. You could’ve cut through the tension with a knife.

Not a sound was made until you stood up to take your plate to the sink and you heard coughing. You turned around to see what all of the commotion was about. Sam was red faced and trying to get a hold of himself. “Forget how to eat Kiszka?” You did make sure he was alright, not that you would’ve jumped to give him the heimlich. He didn’t give you some snarky comment like he normally would, instead he was looking you up and down. His eyes were glued to you.

You chose to ignore it, thinking that he was just jostled up from choking. Danny didn’t take notice of Sam's weird behavior, he was too busy laughing at him. You cleaned up the kitchen and went to your room to shower and start your day. You went to leave for work, Sam was still sitting at the bar, “Leave any hot water for the rest of us?”

“I left hot water for those of us who actually live here and pay the bills here,” you shot back before walking out of the door.

You owned a flower shop just fifteen minutes from your house, which was ironic given your nickname from Danny. He hadn’t even known that you owned the flower shop at the time. You actually met Danny, and eventually Sam, because they owned a record store across the street. It was storming one afternoon and you’d only just moved to town and you didn’t know a single person. You had waited for the rain to slack up and walked outside to check on things and bumped into Danny underneath a pink Crape Myrtle tree and he instantly became your first friend.

Your lunches used to be spent with the three of you, now of course it was just you and Danny. Now anytime you came over to see him you and Sam kept your distance. You assumed that today would be no different, you made your way across the street for your regularly scheduled lunch break with Danny. Oddly enough, instead of Sam’s usual choice of ignoring you he was snarkier than ever.

“Don’t you have any other friends to spend your lunch with? I mean we see enough of you at home as it is,” Sam called from the back of the store.

“Home? When did you start paying bills?” you retorted. Of course he was going to pick a fight with you. You knew it was going to be even worse with Sam staying at your house.

Sam walked up to the front and had lunch with you and Danny for the first time in at least a year. He continued to do everything in his power to make your blood boil. This was odd behavior to say the least. Danny gave you a weird look with his eyes. You just shrugged, you were dumbfounded.

When you got home that evening you went straight to your room for the night. Sam wasn’t nice to you or anything, he was snarkier than ever. But for the last year he had done all that he could to make sure that the two of you wouldn’t even breathe the same oxygen and he just sat with you at lunch. Like it was nothing.

You had almost dozed off when Danny came bursting through your bedroom door. “What are you doing sleeping? It’s our movie night!”

You had almost forgotten, you and Danny had movie night once a week to unwind and catch up. “That’s right and it’s my turn to pick!”

“Oh shit, maybe I shouldn’t have reminded you, you’ll have us watching something scary or Harry Potter.”

“Just go start the popcorn and I’ll look for something to watch. We are going to be alone right?” you were praying that you would finally get some alone time with Danny, or just some time without Sam looking around.

“Of course Petal, it’s our movie night just for us I promise,” Danny reassured you.

You finally settled on a movie, Scream, your favorite. You snuggled up into Danny’s arms. You were surprised that he didn’t complain about your choice. After the movie was over you caught up on your week and had some snacks. Danny wanted to watch another movie and you definitely wanted more alone time with him since Sam had been in the way lately. You stayed up almost all night when you both dozed off the couch with the next Scream movie still playing. You and Danny were cozied up, arms around each other, as usual. When you were rudely awakened by the front door slamming and the unmistakable sound of Sam’s huffing and puffing.

“Well isn’t this just adorable,” Sam gestured to you and Danny’s sleeping position, “I must have missed my invite to movie night.”

This had clearly gotten under Danny’s skin, which was very rare. He was always the one to referee you and Sam. He always kept a cool head. “You would have gotten an invite if you were wanted here, but you didn't, did you? Maybe if you were nice to Y/n once in a while, but you just can’t seem to do that.”

You were shocked that Danny had said that. He was always a ray of sunshine, even when he was angry with someone he never actually spoke up. Sam was just as shocked as you. He was left speechless. You had never seen Sam left without words, he always had a snarky comment ready to fire back. You were happy that he had finally spoken up to Sam, but still dumbfounded with Danny’s response. Sam retreated to his room and stayed there for the rest of the night.

A few weeks had gone by and things had cooled down. Sam and Danny were perfectly fine as suspected. Danny hadn’t brought anything up and you definitely weren’t about to. Sam hadn’t said a single word to you since that night, which was fine by you. He had gone back to keeping his distance and keeping his snarkiness to himself.

It was their five year anniversary of owning the record store together. Of course they had to throw a party. They always found an excuse to have a party of some sort. You spent the next week helping Danny plan it. It would be at your home of course.

The night of the party was filled with mostly people you knew. All of them through Danny and Sam. Their brothers Jake and Josh were usually the life of the party and you loved their company. You had gotten pretty close with them when you and Sam were at your closest. Everyone was dancing and mingling and of course drinking.

You spent most of the night with Danny, the guest of honor. You hadn’t thought of Sam hardly at all over the last few weeks. Even though he was still staying with you and Danny, he kept his distance. But tonight after a few drinks you thought if you went to congratulate him maybe the waters would finally settle around the two of you. You didn’t have much interest in being friends again, but you knew it mattered to Danny.

You knew he didn’t deserve a moment of your time or breath. You scanned the crowd to find that Sam’s eyes were already on you. You walked over to him, “Hi Sam, I just wanted to say congratulations, I am proud of the both of you.”

He looked confused that you had even interacted with him, almost stunned, “U-uh thanks Y/n.”

It was silly, but for a moment you swore that you saw the Sam that you used to know and care for. His eyes were softer and kinder, rather than filled with hate and rage. You walked away and spent the rest of the night with Danny and his brothers. After the majority of the crowd cleared out you started to clean up a bit while Danny and Sam said their goodbyes. All that was left was you, Sam, Danny, Jake, and Josh. You all sat around talking and drinking the night away. Once you settled into your safe place, Danny’s arms, you almost dozed off. But you turned when you heard Sam scoff directly at you and abruptly head to his room. He didn’t even speak to his brothers. “What the hell was that about?” Jake drunkenly laughed.

Danny just shrugged and gave a strange look to everyone. A little bit later you got up to go to the bathroom, passing by Sam’s room on your way. The door was cracked open and you thought heard a voice from inside. You went to make your way to the bathroom, but then you heard your name. Your name followed by moans. You slowly peeped inside to see if your ears were playing tricks on you. They were not. You slid in undetected to see Sam, who supposedly hated you with every bit of his being, with his hand wrapped around his cock. He almost looked beautiful. He looked vulnerable. He looked like the Sam you knew. He was laid down flat on his back, his eyes squeezed shut, and whispering your name to himself while he pleasured himself. You wouldn’t have believed this if you hadn’t seen it for yourself. This brought your mind into a whirlwind of a spin.

You knew it was wrong to watch this intimate moment, but you couldn’t peel your eyes away. You didn’t want to if you were honest with yourself. You slid back out before he could see you. Jake and Josh left and you and Danny eventually fell asleep snuggled together on the couch. You never mentioned what you saw that night.

Over the next week however, your mind was spinning. You knew that night you had seen just a glimpse of the Sam you used to know, but you definitely did not think that he ever had feelings for you of any kind. It was all that you could think about. That definitely came out of nowhere.

The next movie night rolled around, Danny had called and said that he would be home a little later. So you sat and waited for him, getting some things done around the house. You realized it was the first time in a few months that you had the house all to yourself. This was the perfect opportunity for some much needed release. You had a lot of energy surging through your mind and body in light of recent events.

You headed for your bedroom eagerly. You removed your clothing and got your little pink vibrator out of your bedside drawer. You laid down onto your back on your bed. You began to rub over your body. You realized it had been a bit since you had had some true time with yourself. You slid your middle finger through your slit to find that you were already soaked. You pumped one finger in and out as you ran your vibrator over your clit. You let the thoughts roll through your mind when your mind started to play tricks on you. At first your mind suddenly went to thoughts of Danny. You would never admit that the thought of him had helped you get off more than once. The way that his curls would look wrapped in your fingers and the way that his muscles would flex around you.

Then your mind shifted to Sam. The images of Danny and Sam having their way with you together. You began to clench around your own fingers deep inside of you. Little whimpers escaping your mouth. Then, the only thing that was running through your mind was Sam. You fought it as long and hard as you could. The way he looked and sounded that night that you walked in on him, it was intoxicating. His bare chest with a thin layer of sweat. His long brown hair cascading to his shoulders. How sweet he sounded calling out your name while he took himself to the edge.

It was like you lost all control and began calling out for him just like he had for you. It was pulling you closer and closer to your end. You began screaming his name, your legs shaking uncontrollably as you came. You felt a white hot release and your vision went black. With a heaving chest you opened up your eyes when your breath hitched in your throat. You looked up and in your doorway was an astonished and wet Sam. His eyes wide when they met yours. He had a devilish grin a mile wide plastered onto his face. Your face was red hot by now. You were both silent for a few moments while you were still trying to come down from your high.

What you saw next stunned you even more. You fully expected him to send a snide comment straight your way. Instead, he took his hand to his face, whipping off your release and brought his fingers to his mouth and releasing them with a ‘pop’. “You taste just as sweet as you look.”

“Sam w-what are you doing?” was all that you could sputter out.

“Well I heard you calling for me and I thought something might be seriously wrong since I’m the last person you would call for. And to my surprise I find you spread out all pretty calling for me while you cum,” he said as if this was just a normal and calm conversation between the two of you.

You were not calm, you were astonished and bewildered.

“Whatever you were imagining about me though, I bet the real thing is much better,” Sam said as he slid his shirt off and placed himself onto the bed directly beside you.

You suddenly felt a wave of embarrassment and nerves. You tried to cover yourself with your sheets. Did you even want this? Don’t you hate him? Doesn’t he hate you? You were about to ask a million questions when his warm hand cupped your cheek and his lips met yours. All of the nerves you had felt just a moment ago melted away in an instant. The kiss was slow and sweet at first, then it became dominating. Your teeth were clashing together and your tongues swirled around each other’s mouth. You were exploring each other for the first time. Your hands sliding and grabbing all over one another. You didn’t know what exactly to expect, was this a hate fuck? It was pretty gentle to be a hate fuck.

These thoughts became reality. His hand that once cupped your face so gently made its way to your throat with a tight grip. “Maybe next time I’ll be more gentle with you, but this time I think we both have some aggression we need to release. I’ve wanted this for too long for it to be gentle,” Sam said while he kissed his way to your breasts.

‘Next time’, you thought to yourself.

You were already naked, so he made his way around your body easily. You were over sensitive from your first orgasm, which had led to this situation that you were in now. Every kiss and lick that he gifted you with caused lightning to shoot through your body. You had a purple trail from your neck to your stomach. He licked the inside of your thighs and bit down in the most delicious way. He looked at you for approval, you nodded eagerly.

He made his way to your center. He licked one slow agonizing strip before diving into you like a starving man. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and you let out the most pornographic moan you had ever heard. He licked and sucked like his life depended on it. He looked up at you and you could feel him grinning as he worked his tongue around your sensitive clit. He was clearly pleased with the effect that he was having on you. He looked gorgeous settled in between your thighs. He knew that he had you on the edge. “Sam, please, I need more.”

“I think that you can do better than that,” he teased.

You knew exactly what he wanted. “Sammy please, give me more, I want to feel you.” He had such a weakness for you calling him ‘Sammy’. Which was all that it took. He slammed two fingers into you. He pumped them quickly in and out of you, curling them up in the most delicious way. He was hitting your most delicious spots.

You would’ve been almost embarrassed by the wet and lewd noises that he was pulling from you, but you were both far too deep into the pleasure now. Sam looked up at you with dark and lust filled eyes, “I’ve wanted this for so long, you’re being such a good girl for me.”

If you had been in your right state of mind this would’ve shocked you to your core, but you were barely holding on as it was. “Sammy, I-I’m gonna cum, please let me cum.”

“Cum for me baby, be such a good girl for me and cum all over me.”

This was all that it took for you to come undone around him. You tangled your fingers into his long brown hair. You were tugging it so hard that you were sure that you were hurting him. He didn’t seem to mind as he sucked your clit and worked your through your orgasm. You felt another white hot sensation and were sure that you saw stars. When you came to this time, you saw a delightful picture painted out in front of you. Sam was soaking wet from your release and drinking up every little drop. You could’ve cum again at the sight and sound of this.

He sat up and you helped him remove his constricting pants. When you had seen him some nights ago you didn’t get a chance to see him in all of his glory. Now you could see every perfect inch. The sunlight from your windows was hitting him perfectly. When you pulled down his boxers his cock sprang up slapping his stomach. You had no idea he would be this big. Your eyes almost popped from your skull. It had drops of precum and was throbbing.

You were basically drooling at the thought of tasting him. You went to take him into your mouth, but he swatted you away. You gave him a confused look. “I want you to baby, but next time. I’m afraid if you did right now I would cum immediately and I need to be inside of you.”

There it was again, ‘next time’, you didn’t have time to analyze this before he was crawling on top of you. He dove his tongue into your mouth and you were overwhelmed with the taste of you and him. He lined his cock up with your entrance. He slowly slid in, giving you time to adjust to the delightful sting of the stretch. He buried himself to the hilt. He only gave you a moment before slamming into you. He set a brutal and forceful pace. He was slamming in and out of you, hitting your g-spot perfectly. The room was filled with the sounds of your skin slapping together and your screams and moans. You loved how vocal he was being with you. You loved the effect that you were having on him. Thank goodness you didn’t have neighbors.

You were both covered in sweat and sex. He pounded into you making you call out wildly for him. He swiped his tongue over your lips and bit down, you were sure that he had drawn blood, but you welcomed the sting of the pain.

He slid his hand down in between your bodies to draw circles over your clit. “B-Baby I need you to cum one more time for me.”

“I don’t think I can Sammy,” you tried not to sound as fucked out as you really were.

“Yes you can baby, I want us to cum together. Please cum for me, I know you can.”

With just a few more circles over your clit you came undone around his cock. You had tears rolling down your face and were screaming his name like never before. You tightened around him while he continued to slam into you. “Oh my god Sammy, I-I’m cumming, don’t stop.”

You felt him fill you up with his release as he moaned your name. He sounded even more beautiful than he did those few nights ago. He was right, it was so much better than anything that you could have imagined. You both laid there for a moment while he went soft inside of you. You looked into his eyes and saw your Sammy. The one that you had been longing for even when you didn’t know it.

He gave you a soft and caring smile. You were just about to try and get some answers when you heard the creak of your floorboards. You looked up to see Danny in your doorway. His cock visibly hard. Just like you had found Sam a bit ago.

“To be two people who hate each other, you seem to have had a lot of fun without me,” Danny said with a lustful smirk.

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