#Same with

[a-gay-bloodmage]

Me, making my Dragon Age OCs in my mid to late teens: Hehe, all but one of them are in their twenties or above... They're so mature...

Me, now, aged 23 with a far more developed brain: Why the fuck are these CHILDREN in charge of SAVING THE WORLD?

[mochiajclayne]

Hi there,

I hope you're doing well.

i read your post regarding SasuSaku and Sarada as a family and you stole the words right off my mouth.

I'd like to know your thoughts and opinions on Sasuke Retsiden because from what I can see, its only Jun Esaka (a mere light novel writer that writes non canon stuff) all over the internet being equally all over about her Sasuke Retsuden. I haven't seen any other light novel writer being more active about something non canon. Even kishimoto himself doesnt behave like this regarding his own work.

I'd like to also know about your opinions regarding Jun Esaka ATTEMPTING to remove or metaphorically kill Karin Uzumaki by making the main villain a Karin look alike and giving her sensory abilities to Sakura, which again, makes no sense. Does that woman hate Karin and SK so much? Is that woman so threatened by the very thought of SK as a couple that she had to incorporate a villain that looks like Karin Uzumaki down to a tee?

These are just my thoughts and speculations but I'm also really interested in knowing your side of the story.

Thanks for reading my long comment and i wish you a wonder day/afternoon/evening/night

Hi, @theuntamedangel! I appreciate the long comment! I hope you have a wonderful day/afternoon/evening/night, too!

Before I share my thoughts about Sasuke Retsuden, let me share that I did, unfortunately, have a sasusaku phase. I know. Shocker. The entire lore is here in case you're interested (promise it's relevant to my explanation).

I did hear about Sasuke Retsuden when I was still in college. Bits of information, specifically, about the chakra ring and from a perspective of someone who used to ship sasusaku casually, my initial reaction was okay good for them and I went on with my day. Note that I wasn't as heavily engaged in the Naruto fandom like I do now so for me to isn't active back then, hearing about Sasuke Retsuden, speaks volume on how it is over the internet that it even reached me.

I hate Sasuke Retsuden. It's badly written, it's OOC especially for OG Naruto characters, and the canon inaccuracies are more than enough to drive me into aneurysm.

Below this cut is my detailed thoughts about Sasuke Retsuden.

The villain looking like the male version of Karin caught me off guard. I don't know what the intentions behind the character design but I think they aimed for association as Jiji, one of the characters from this godforsaken novel, reminded me of Juugo.

I am not a sasukarin shipper but I do understand where the shippers are speaking from. I think they'll make a cool couple because Karin actually freaking cares about Sasuke when shit gets serious and outside of her "gag", she respects Sasuke's boundaries. Might be speaking out of the box but this novel in its existence was meant to be sasusaku-centric so the possibility of being threatened by all Sasuke-related ships, especially those making far more sense than SS, is high. I don't think Jun Esaka hates Karin. I would dare say that she picked a random character that could work as a direct contender to Sakura and unfortunately, she decided to scapegoat Karin. Moreover, the entire sensory ability shtick added to Sakura was uncalled for. I would go even further and say that Esaka's version of Sakura is what her stans hailed her to be--a superior version of [insert any Naruto's female character]. Even their pink haired kunoichi is incredibly OOC here and you expect me to take her seriously?

The funniest thing about Sasuke Retsuden is the way that they had to use SNS at first, specifically, Sasuke's mission is to find a cure for that chakra illness that Naruto alone suffers. Sure, this is SS centric but it all comes down to Sasuke and Sakura working together to find a cure for Naruto. Now, she could just write a novel about SS without using Naruto's "sickness" as some kind of a plot device, right? But no, she had to convince us somehow and an effective way to do that is literally Naruto and Sasuke.

The dinosaur. Don't even get me started. Even tailed beasts cannot fight against Sharingan to the point that canon graciously provided us evidence of both Madara and Obito controlling the Nine Tailed Beast. The very same Sharingan that made the higher ups of Konoha suspect the Uchiha clan as mastermind for that same incident. We're talking about the same dojutsu that manipulated the Fourth Mizukage. The canon inaccuracy throws me off the loop.

More inaccuracies. Suddenly Sasuke is an Earth and Ice Style user. Wow. Conveniently forgetting about Kakashi mentioning in Part 1 how Ice Style is a Kekkei Genkai that even Sharingan can't copy. As far as Naruto canon goes, Sasuke is a Fire and Lightning Style user. I don't consider Boruto as canon but even that animanga doesn't show any moment of Sasuke using Earth Style. It's insane that people claimed this as canon.

THIS DISTURBING INTERACTION. I did say that the OG Naruto characters are OOC in this shitshow novel and yes, unfortunately that includes Sakura. We've seen the way she react around Naruto's sexy ninjutsu antics. Unless objectification of women or the mere implication of it doesn't perturb her, then it says more about how Esaka portrayed her. I'd personally file a restraining order when a guy says he'd settle for my old, half smoked cigarette butts. I'm surprised that she didn't throw any snide remarks here.

WHO IS THIS SASUKE AND WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM. This panel made me laugh so hard because I feel like Esaka straight up ignored that Sasuke canonically spent years with his family before the Uchiha downfall happened. I don't think he'd be this clueless about how a married couple acts. Even in flashbacks, Sasuke was shown around his parents or Itachi, literally with his family. I think he knows well enough about married couples.

The ring part as well makes me cackle because Kurenai literally wears a ring in Shippuden. Trust me, Juugo-look-a-like, rings are used in Konoha by couples.

The Uchiha clan symbol takes me out because AREN'T YOU GOING UNDERCOVER IN THIS PRISON? WHY ARE YOU SHOWING THAT OFF?

The Chakra ring in question. Finding out the lore behind this further upset me and I am thankful that I no longer ship sasusaku. Show these panels out of context to someone with little to no exposure to canon and it would be romantic but if you know Narutoverse like the back of your hand, this novel served nothing. Seriously, the fact that Sasuke is incredibly OOC on this novel speak volumes. Imagine annihilating Sasuke's character to make SS work? Insanity.

Writing Edo Tensei with rose tinted glasses disgust me. That jutsu is straight up manipulating a dead body at your bidding. Tobirama shouldn't have invented that jutsu. Hinting that jutsu to be used to revive a loved one that passed away is vile and disgusting. The lack of attention to canon isn't a new thing for Esaka at this point.

Even this novel can't cover up the fact that Sakura doesn't know Sasuke well. If there's one thing that's consistent in the prequel, it was Naruto that gets into trouble. Sasuke doesn't use honorifics and he got away with it. His bluntness doesn't get him and everyone around him in trouble. Sasuke only began resorted to extremes when he was batshit blind and sinking into the unhinged depths of his hatred. Probably the only things that Sakura got correctly was Sasuke's kindness and his nonchalance about his looks but that's it. So the claim of knowing Sasuke inside and out is preposterous. The one who can say that is, guess who? Naruto.

Ending this long analysis with this panel because honestly, Ino is asking the questions for me. Unfortunately, despite being "married", their dynamic stayed the same. Sakura is still that same girl that has a crush on Sasuke, except she's in her 30s and Sasuke is still the same boy that rejected her date offers and the idea of being together with her, even reaching the point that he's away from her a lot.

I do apologize for going off to the point that I decided to pull a meta post about this. I do hope you're doing well and I appreciate the ask!

[ink-5oul]

Magnus podcast fans will say they have an idea and then tell you about a ship that logistically makes less than zero sense (it's me, I'm the magnus podcast fans)

[roenters]

Got impatient waiting for the keychains, posting the full images now instead 😋😋 Fight Club and TMA in the same post?? Mad.

Extras + yap ↓

Yeh, made these for mine (yes, ik) and my mate's Christmas presents. Pretty fun. Never made keychains before so was very fun

[chaotic-on-main]

not to be nasty or anything but I really want to hug that fictional man

[apomaro-mellow]

@freddykicksasses yes and-ed me on this so take this lil ficlet

So, some sort of sense8 au where argyle, eddie, jonathan, nancy, robin, and steve are all connected (the other two are dealer's choice if you wanna make it a full 8) It can be because of Russian experiments or breathing in Upside Down air or whatever but the point is their minds and bodies are in a network.

The problem is, it's all still fresh and new and they don't always know how to turn it off when they want to.

It is especially a problem when someone has sex.

And some of them have a lot of sex.

Nancy is sitting in a waiting room, waiting for her name to be said. They call for her and she stands, entering an office, ready to be interviewed when she feels it. She just barely keeps from letting out a moan as she feels a hand groping at her chest and pinching a nipple. She covers it by clearing her throat and pretending to cough. The sensation of metal tells her it's Eddie's hand.

She's prompted to have a seat when a voice rumbles in her ear. Steve's. That was the main trouble with this new...situation of theirs. Sometimes they were in one person's body, other times it was a mix. One minute she was looking down at Eddie while her hand (Steve's) dragged down his body, and the next minute she was Eddie, using her hands to undress Steve.

"Miss Wheeler?"

"Yes? Sorry, yes?"

"I asked about your references?"

"Yes, of course", she replied, clearly her throat again as someone's hands moved between her legs.

"Can you two cool it for five minutes?!", Nancy hissed between their link.

"Shit."

"Nancy?"

Every single time it happened, they acted surprised that someone could see them. There were about 0 for 3 with this. And 0 for 3 when it came to stopping.

"Did you two forget what today was?"

The silence coupled with the fact she could still feel their hands moving proved that they had indeed forgotten. Nancy crossed her legs but that made it worse so she opened them a little and that also made it worse. She just couldn't win.

"Just a little more. I'm so close", Steve moaned.

He didn't need to tell her. She could feel that he was right on the edge. The man before Nancy was saying something about her salary but she could only half pay attention. She fought the urge to thrust upward and was white knuckling the arms of the chair she was sitting in.

"Well I think everything's in order here. We look forward to your starting this week Miss Wheeler."

She definitely heard that. But she also heard "Oh fuck, shit, Stevie baby please!"

Nancy got up to shake the man's hand, doing her best to ignore the tingles and rushed out of there as politely as possible.

"I don't see what the big deal is", Eddie said when Nancy came to lay into them both. "Getting an orgasm during an interview is a huge power move."

"What about having one in front of a crowd? Say Saturday night? 9 o'clock?", Nancy challenged.

"You wouldn't", Steve's eyes widened.

Nancy grinned. "I would. Let's see how your audience likes it when you get an erection on stage."

Eddie smirked. "Joke's on you, they're into that."

[theyswag420]

the joys of starting a new podcast and immediately dressing like the main character

[riderofblackdragons]

Day 15: No Anesthetic

Day 15! We're still running late, but it's ok! For today's, I figured, well... What can I think of for no anesthesthia? And the answer is, more An Original Mother! For most of history, women were refused anesthesthia, bc of christianity and it damning their souls or something. idrk but it works for this.

So trigger warnings for this one: Childbirth, blood, christianity (i grew up as a chistian i can say that i think), i can't think of any others but if I need to add any more please reach out!

Hope you enjoy! Please mind the trigger warnings tho

People were stupid, Elijah had just decided. They may not have the experience of her many years on this earth, but Elijah felt as though some things should be obvious. Providing labouring women with pain medication, for one. Or at least, not telling a hormonal vampire to her face that she wasn’t going to get any relief until the child was out, when she was beginning her labours.

But no, since the medical world was apparently infected with Christianity (and its various offshoots), and idiots to boot, it wasn’t allowed. She would have to suffer like this for as long as it took. There was something about an original sin, and some lady named Eve eating an apple? It ended ended up in the same place, anyways - with Elijah being refused medication to help her.

She’d eaten the idiots who’d told her, of course. They may have been compelled to tell her the truth and see if they could get it, but she still didn’t like their answer. Anyways, feeding had taken her mind off of the pain, and the building pressure in her lower abdomen. The rush of blood into her system was a welcome change, even if she’d been experiencing it for centuries now.

The midwives surrounding her made no comment on the fallen bodies on the floor, merely working around them. Elijah had compelled them to be as competent as they could with her birth - just because she could get pregnant, and birth living children, it didn’t mean that her labour was going to be easy. In fact, from her past experiences in childbirth, Elijah knew that it would be much the opposite.

She wasn’t looking forward to it, had even contemplated aborting the child when she’d first realised her pregnancy. With what had happened with her last child, Elijah knew that she would have to raise this child by herself again - but this time, her siblings would be looking for her. But she’d decided against it, in the end. Had reminded herself of how much she loved being a mother, staying in the same place for a couple decades, watching her child grow and get old and have children of their own.

Well, it had only happened with one child so far, but it had been a wonderful experience. Elijah had hoped that she would be able to share it with her siblings, last time she’d ended up pregnant, but… That hadn’t worked out as planned. She hadn’t anticipated just how jealous Niklaus would become of a child.

Hence the running this time. Elijah had left a month after she’d discovered this baby, and decided against removing it. By now, seven months later, Niklaus would have realised that she’d lied about whatever excuse she’d used to leave. They’d be on the lookout for her now, when they weren’t running from their father.

And Elijah couldn’t concentrate on the past, as the present made itself known with another strong contraction ripping through her insides. This baby was wanting out, and out now. And truthfully, Elijah couldn’t blame it. She wanted it out of her as well, wanted to hold her child in her arms for the first time in over a century and a half.

The pain was gone suddenly, letting Elijah have a slight breather. She didn’t need to breathe, per say, as a vampire not breathing wouldn’t actually kill her, but she was finding it helpful in this moment. Truthfully, Elijah wished that she could’ve trusted one of her siblings, or even her father, to be there with her. To be able to hold their hand, as she tried to push down with each contraction.

But her father kept trying to kill her siblings, and she couldn’t guarantee he wouldn’t try it with her too, especially not when she was in such a vulnerable situation. And with regards to her siblings, well… Elijah didn’t think she could trust any of them around any child of hers, not with how they’d just let their half-brother get away with throwing her son off of a balcony, because she was paying more attention to her child than to him.

So no support system here. The father was dead, or close to it - Elijah didn’t remember who he even was, but she remembered how Kol had hunted his pack down for sport. Her youngest brother loved hunting for sport, especially if it was other vampires or werewolves.

Next time, Elijah thought to herself, letting loose a pained scream with her next contraction. Next time, she’d turn the midwives before she gave birth, so when she crushed their hands as she gave birth, they’d be able to actually heal from it. Also, it would mean that she’d have at least one midwife who’d dealt with Elijah’s vampiric pregnancies before, which would be lovely.

A thought for afterwards, however, as one of the midwives announced the baby was ‘crowning’. The head was coming out, one of the other midwives explained upon Elijah’s puzzled look. Their excitement over the entire ordeal being over soon was soon turned to horror, however, as Elijah felt liquid started to gush out with the exit of the child.

Sheets were fetched and washed and fetched again, and Elijah felt herself getting weaker. She called for them to save the baby, first, and the compelled midwives exchanged a glance, but complied. They were obviously unhappy about it, but they did agree to it.

Nothing could work as well as she wanted, however. Elijah ‘died’ in childbirth, the blood seeping from where the baby had ripped its way out of her.

With her ‘death’, as well, all Elijah’s compulsions were removed. One of the midwives screamed at the sight of the dead bodies on the floor, whereas previously she’d been stepping over and around them like they were mere bumps on the floor.

Still, they kept their memories. Elijah was going to compel them to forget afterwards, since there was no point in doing it in the middle of their job. Things could go wrong, after all, and they clearly had this time.

But one of the older midwives, who felt she’d seen far too much bullshit in her line of work, remembered how her current patient had drained the bodies. Clearly, the blood was vital for her, and so the lady pulled up her sleeve to drip some of her own blood into the patient’s mouth.

If it didn’t work, she had no idea what to do. One of them would have to take the baby home, since it appear this young woman had no friends, no family to take care of her, nor raise the baby if she died. If she had, they would have been there with her, was the consensus amongst the midwives, and so trying this was the best idea they had.

Thankfully, it did work. Elijah’s eyes flew open after barely a few drops, and she eagerly latched onto the other woman’s wrist to drink more. Not too much, though. She still had restraint, and this woman had just saved her child from being raised by strangers by testing this out. It would be poor form to repay that gift by draining her, and Elijah knew that she could go and feed some more later, besides.

“It’s a girl, ma’am,” one of the other midwives told her in a low voice, understandably wary of this woman who’d just come back from certain death.

She held out her arms, a bundle of clothes in them. The cloths shifted slightly, white folds moving away, and suddenly all Elijah could see was her beautiful baby girl. This child would not be harmed, she swore to herself. Not as long as she was around.

“What’re you going to name her?” One of the younger women asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

“Nína,” Elijah breathed over her baby’s face. “Nína Elijasdóttir”

[friendlyneighborhoodplebeian]

Circa burning of Mahal’s halls

Elrond and Celebrimbor appearing before Mahal.

Mahal: *sigh* Let me guess, you’re here for your husbands too.

Celebrimbor: Yes.

Elrond: It’s complicated—

Mahal: Go. Just go.

Elrond and Celebrimbor: Thank you.

[numbersareimaginary]

I used to think biting your lip was like just a stereotypical horny thing that no one actually did and maybe it is and ive just been infected with the meme, but i keep doing it accidentally so idk.

[nartml]

Daichi's digs are genuinely magical, I'm at the edge of my seat every time this man picks up a seemingly impossible ball from the other team

[vicaliciouz]

Me after showing my friend silly vids of stuff I love and all they do is point out the cringy stuff and make fun of it (i listened to them rant abt their shit for 30 mins)

[legeebeeteequah]

I still can't decide if Rhys is ugly, hot as fuck, attractive bc of Stede or just plain normal

Maybe it's because he and his character both give so much gender

I think is that, is the gender

I'm into gender

(does this even make sense?)

[earthbovndmisfit]

YESSS JONAERIWAGON RIGHTS 💙💙💙 JONATHAN'S HEART IS BIG ENOUGH FOR THEM BOTH 🥺 also, it got me thinking, in the mermaid au what if having "polycules" is the norm in mer culture? since they live in pods like dolphins or whales or whatnot? so to mer!jonathan he can see them both as "life-partners" (depends on the au if erina and speedwagon are humans or mers) and the three of them are happy together in love 🥰

YOU GET IT ANON!! JONATHAN HAS TWO HANDS AND A HEART BIG ENOUGH FOR THEM BOTH INDEED AND I NEED MORE PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND THAT AAAAA

As for your question, I was thinking kinda the same thing! Granted, I'm a doof in regards to sea life so Idk a lot about it but, as far as I know, dolphin pods are like "small communities", so to speak, in which they protect and look out after each other. In that sense, I think merpeople have structures that may be somewhere in between humans and mammals such as dolphins, meaning that they have larger societies (hence the idea another anon pitched a while back about a mer kingdom) but they also form their own smaller groups with who they choose as their life-partner or partners. And so, it's not uncommon for a merperson to have more than one partner at the time. I also think these "partnerships" can operate a lot like human "menage a trois" do! I've talked about this "menage a trois" structure before and how it has always been a thing (even in uptight societies such as the Victorian society) and which is basically a man and his wife and his boyfriend, all living together and raising together any children the m/f couple may have at some point, all with the consent and full knowledge of all parts involved, and so on. Essentially, what nowadays could be described as a V-polycule, and which very much fits the erijonawagon dynamic, OG and in AUs (Erina and Spw being metamours, so no forced romances or anything between them as they freely love on Jonathan and Jonathan loving them in return).

In the mer!AU, I think it wouldn't really matter much if they're all mers or just one or two of them are. Based on their OG versions, it's been long established that Erina and Speedwagon are both a bit ahead of their time, as they're both shown to not only acknowledge the other's romantic feelings for Jonathan, but also as being understanding of them to the point where they developed a friendship and also raised Jonathan's children for him. I don't think they would be interested in dating anyone other than Jonathan (as shown by how both remained loyal to Jonathan until the end), and they would be very more than happy to "share" Jonathan with the other, because they know how much the other genuinely loves him and wants him to be happy, and especially once they learn just how much Jonathan loves them both in return as well and pretty much just how happy they all make each other. Not to mention that they all seem to be quite alright with Speedwagon's very blatant gayness as well, so I don't really think that would represent any kinds of issues here either.

Overall, I don't think things would change a lot in the AU in those regards, save for the added "weird looks" they may get from other humans if any of the three remains a human in the AU due to them not being the same species or whatever and, welp, polycules not being too common (yet), but other than that, things would remain more on the chill side, I think.

Needless to say that Jonathan would be the kind of guy who happily introduces his partners to everyone he meets as that: His partners (wife and husband, respectively, unless merpeople have a specific term?) and showing off and gushing over how awesome they are and how lucky he is to have them in his life.

[wring-wraith]

whenever I’m upset with hoyoverse I revert to calling them mihoyo because there is nothing more demeaning than calling a company by their deadname