#Sam loved Jack so much that he fought Lucifer. Chuck and DEAN to for him

[adaav]

Sam trying to save Jack in 15x17.

[lol-jackles]

As someone who hates Destiel and the shippers with a passion. It annoys me to admit it felt like Castiel and Dean got alot of moments in S15. Nearly up there with Sam and Dean moment. Also Sam and Castiel didn't even get a goodbye scene. Did they even have a big scene together?

While I do think the original intent of season 15 was to make it Dean and Cas focused because Jared was supposed to leave SPN after season 14, I also think you had a yellow-car confirmation bias.  Attention is naturally very selective.  You might not find a yellow car (because yellow cars are not common), but you might look out for cars in the hopes of spotting a yellow one.  That ~confession scene was given way too much credit and attention by superfans in an otherwise decent episode. But Cas's speech wasn’t for you and the superfans, it was for general audience and casual fans to remind them that Dean is still a hero because they only seen Sam acting heroically trying to protect people from the Snap.  Dean going after Billie looked more like revenge and it was at the cost of Cas’s life.  So this lesson to Dean is that it isn’t all about him.  That’s right, a speech that seems to be all about Dean is actually saying it’s not all about him. 

Cas to Dean: Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love. You fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are”.  

Audience:  Well, duh.  Also, thanks for the reminder but why?

*Dean dies two episodes later*

Audiene: Oh that’s why.  

So from my perspective, season 15 did not have much Cas and Dean moments other than Cas having a hissy huff in purgatory and Dean's awkward anxiety attack three minutes later, and the meme-making scene that is now tumblr's breaking news template because how indifferent Dean was. I'm sure those two did have more scenes together than the ones I mentioned but they're unmemorable and so apparently unimportant to the plot.

In contrast I remember what Sam and Dean were doing in season 15: the free will vs determinism question and how to escape determinism. Sam represented the former and Dean represented the latter.  Dean believes in determinism so his idea of getting free will (killing Chuck by using Jack as a bomb) was wrong. During their push and pull, Dean has to seek and give forgiveness before he ascends to heaven because (in my interpretation of Christianity), one has to learn to forgive in order to enter heaven because the Savior has died for your sins and forgiven your sins.

Lucifer returns because the devils' purpose on the show is to show God how undeserving humans are by leading them astray. Sam is constantly proving the devil wrong about humanity and lead people in the right direction, in season 15 it's stopping and talking down Dean from his kill-Chuck plan and finding another way to save the world. Sam's fatherly relationship with Jack ascends him into a benevolent God of free will, and from there Sam (and Dean) could write their own stories and complete his Hero Journey arc.

[sortasirius]

“Unity” and the Broken Boys

BOY Y’ALL BETTER SIT DOWN BECAUSE THIS IS AS LONG AS CAN BE AND I TOOK OFF WORK TOMORROW SO I’VE GOT TIME

This is....one of the best episodes in the show.  Yeah, in all 325 of them, this is hands down one of the best.

First of all, stan Amara for clear skin.

That silent treatment babey, right out the gate with the Angst.  Tbh Dean deserves it.

“Like I said, killing Amara, Jack dying...that’s the only way.”

“The only way.  Our one shot.  Our Last chance.  You ever get tired of saying stuff like that?”

“We don’t have to like it, alright?  But you and me, we gotta get it done.”

Amara is such a welcome energy in this whole episode.  She’s warm and understanding, whip-smart and probably more powerful than Chuck.  I love her.

Sam is a wonderful, understanding, loving dad.  I love him eternally.  He loves Jack so much, he’s trying so desperately to do what’s right for Jack but also what’s right for the world.  Jack made this choice, but he can’t live with it.  How do you support your child when their life is at stake?

“Come on man.  Blindly following orders, lying to Amara, sending her to her death. Does any of this feel right to you??”

“It doesn’t matter how we feel!  You know what?  Stay.  Stay.  Someone has to be the grown up here.”

“Yeah well someone has to keep fighting for Jack!”

“He knows what he signed up for!”

“Last I checked, we don’t give up on family.”

“Jack’s not family.”

Y’all should have heard the noise I made.  What a fucking line.

“I know how you feel about the kid, I care for him too, I do, but he’s not like you.  He’s not like Cas.  He’s just not.”

“I’m- I’m ready.”

You can see the regret, the heartbreak in Dean’s eyes.  You can see how he wants to take those words back the moment he said them, and for Jack to hear them?  It’s unthinkable.

Sam and Cas I’m just so fucking emo dude.

“Sam, you stayed behind to find another way huh?  I woulda done the same.”

AMARA

First of all, LOVE this structure.

Amara and Chuck have such a fascinating dynamic.  Rob and Emily do a great job (as they have all along) by clearly being siblings but...heightened.  You can just tell they both exude power, and the other is the only one they consider an equal.

“You and Dean had that whole weird...thing.”

“That wasn’t you writing?”

“Ugh, not that part.  Gross.”

What I took away from this is what I’ve suspected all along.  They HAVE free will, just not total free will.  Dean and Amara’s connection wasn’t Chuck, there are parts of the story he didn’t write.  Obviously, this comes into play later. 

I also have a hunch that Chuck doesn’t write romance.  I also think that in particular will come into play.

“Balance.  Something we’ve never tried before.  Creation and destruction, light and dark, brother and sister united again, but on behalf of one world, this world.  True balance.  The way it was always meant to be.  But you can’t.  You only care about your pleasure, your story.  Well, I guess that makes you the villain.”

“Villains get all the best lines.”

We see again and again this season, Chuck is irredeemable.  He doesn’t care about the angels, he doesn’t care about the world, he doesn’t care about anything.  He is a petulant toddler who has broken his toys. And when he realizes he’s trapped, he gets angry, he shouts and screams, completely at odds with Amara’s peace.

“You can’t hold me here forever.”

“I can hold you long enough.”

DEAN

Pain is the name of the game in this section homies. ��Because not only are we dealing with Dean’s pain, we’re also dealing with Jack’s.  Jack says he understands why Cas and Sam mean more to Dean, but Dean clearly doesn’t, he, once again, wants to say more, but is stopped, still stopped by his fear: his fear of not beating Chuck.

Alright guys, gals, and non-binary pals.  Let’s talk about Adam and Seraphina.

Adam.  The first man.  And Seraphina.  The angel.

“My old lady.  She’s the only one who could put up with me all these years.”

Yeah okay.  Volume at 100 I get it lmao.

But also: Adam wants God dead not because he and Eve were kicked out of the Garden, but because he went after their sons.  The theme of protecting the children strikes again.

“Killing God is your plan?”

“Yeah, Billie’s been giving us a hand but Sera and me, this is our baby.”

This juxtaposed directly with Dean’s own pain at what he has to do to kill Chuck, to gain his free will: the cost of his child.

Adam’s rib.

And who else might get his ribs hurt, only to be likely healed by an angel?

It’s fine, that’s fine.  I’m fine with that.

“Jack, I don’t know how to explain it but, when I found out about Chuck, it’s like I wasn’t alive.  Not really.  You know like my whole life I’ve never been free, but like really free.  But now?  Now me and Sam, we got a shot at living a life, without all this crap on our backs.  And that’s, that’s because of you.  So, I want to say, I need to say...thank you, Jack.  Thank you.”

I’m gonna have to do a separate post about just Dean in this episode, because there is so fucking much to talk about, but there are a couple of things that I think are important:  Dean realizes how wrong he was, to say what he said.  He knows that it’s not true, this is the way he’s always coped with loss, by pushing the person to be lost away, but for Jack to hear it?  He can’t stand for that.

And:

Dean has finally pushed through the barrier.  He won’t be quiet in the face of his doubts anymore.  This is a breakthrough for him, and, of course, there are more to come.

SAM

Sam and Cas, my chaos duo.

The box, the inscription, the door.

Death’s library, filled with dead reapers.

And there it is.  The Empty.

It tells Sam the plan, the plan for Billie to take God’s place.  For everything to go back to the way it’s “supposed to be.”

This has always been the game, since season 13.  This is the longest of long games.

Sam fuckin Winchester, lying his way out of a confrontation with the Empty like the legend that he is.

He comes back with a new purpose: to stop Billie’s plan, and here’s where we get to the heart of the episode and maybe the heart of the season.

“You hear that?  Dean, brought to the edge of doubt.  His sense of duty, his rage winning out in the end.  And poor Sam, always gotta know everything.  Can’t leave well enough alone.  This is my ending, my real ending.”

The gun comes out, pointed at Sam.

Hmm...what did I say during 15x05?  Oh yeah, this.

And:

Dean would never survive killing Sam, but he’s willing to do anything, anything to earn his freedom.  His ending, where one brother kills the other and then kill himself.

Why, you might ask, did Sam not mention that the angels would be sent back to Heaven, why does he not mention Cas?  I’ll tell you why, or rather, Becky will.

Plus, Dean looks back at Cas IMMEDIATELY when Sam says that, when he mentions Eileen, and THAT’S the first time he hesitates.  He can’t lose Cas.  But at the same time, he’s willing to do anything to have his freedom.

“Sam we don’t have a choice, Jack’s about to blow!”

“We always have a choice!”

You know me, just sitting here thinking about choice, the ability to choose, and how that translates to their free will.

And Sam...I don’t think there will ever be characters I love as much as these.

“I don’t care if Billie gets what she wants!  I don’t man, I’d trade it all, I’d trade em all for Chuck.  In a heartbeat!”

“What about me?”

“You’d trade me?”

“Chuck has to die.  He has to!  Otherwise he’ll keep us tap dancing forever, and I can’t live like that man, I can’t live like that, I won’t!”

“I know you feel like that right now, okay? I know you do, but you gotta trust me.  My entire life, you’ve protected me.  From Dad, from Lucifer, from everything.  I didn’t always like it, you know?  But it’s the one thing in the whole world that I could always count on.  It’s the only thing I’ve ever known that was true.  So please, put the gun away.  Just put it away.  We’ll figure it out, Dean, we’ll find another way, you and me.  We always do.”

Okay I feel like this is going to be one of those scenes that I cry watching for years to come.  Because fuck.  After fifteen years they finally admit that not only did Dean protect Sam from Lucifer, but he protected him from John.  John.  On a par with Lucifer.

Dean and Sam have, for so many years, sacrificed themselves for the other.  Dean’s demon deal, Sam and the trials, every season they have fought to see who can die the quickest for the other.  But this?  This is them fighting to stop the violence, to stop from killing the big bad.  This is them growing, in our eyes, in real time.  Sam has always been able to get through to Dean when no one else had a prayer, but for Dean to listen, for Dean to take his words to heart, to stop the hunt for Sam, for their family, that’s how you know they do have free will.

(Btw Chuck’s eye effect when he dusted Amara was sick as fuck but I’m emo for my boys so.)

Chuck knows it’s a loss, he knows that his story has, once again, been thwarted by the boys making their own choices.  And he’s pissed, but in his anger, we get a bomb dropped on us.

“Spare me your contempt Castiel, the self-hating angel of Thursday.  You know what every other version of you did after “gripping him tight and raising him from perdition”?  They did what they were told.  But not you.  Not the one off the line with a crack in his chassis.”

Are you fucking kidding me?

Also, just worth bringing up this one as well:

Every Castiel pulled Dean out of Hell.  Every one told him the same thing.  And yet, immediately, with this Cas and this Dean, something was different.  Because what has everyone seen about Cas, from the moment he met Dean?

And there’s our endgame people.  Laid out on the line.

But we ain’t done yet, fam.

We’ve talked about the handprint, but you know:

So there you have it, our prep into the “monumental” 15x18.  I have spec on that, of course, but I think a novel is long enough for this.

What to take away: Dean’s rage was always Chuck’s plan, they do have free will, their love for each other, for their family, is what will stop Chuck’s control, Death is about to come back with a vengeance, Cas’ deal is at play, and, most importantly, Castiel and Dean Winchester are a blind spot for Chuck, something he has never, not once, controlled.

[i-make-fun-of-spn-characters]

I feel like you've given most spn related things some lil spice but I always love the spice on this : hot spicy take on the "Dean is the most horrible character and ruins everyone's life and Sam and Cas are poor little meow meows who only do bad things sometimes because tyran Dean farted in their direction" takes that are not really only said by anti-Dean peeps ? Obsessed with that incredible thesis and would love the added spice ❤

SPICY HOT HOT GHOST PEPPERS CAROLINA REAPERS HELP I'M BURNING

I really try to respect other people’s opinions, and I believe there are a wealth of ways to interpret a story, and I think that’s a deeply beautiful thing. This applies to interpretations I don't agree with and outright dislike as well. That said, some opinions are simply and objectively bad, dishonest, and/or demonstrably false, and I truly do not believe you can sit down and honestly watch through the show with an open mind about all the characters, truly pay attention to what they do, say, and believe, and come to the conclusion that this show is about an evil manipulative abusive man terrorizing his pure and sinless brother and friend. It is an interpretation built from cherry picking facts to suit an ugly, miserable theory, making Mount Everest out of a bunch of the tiny mole hills, making the worst possible presumptions of feelings and intentions, and holding characters to completely different standards in order to neatly divide them into "abused" and "abuser" in a way that, frankly, fetishizes the abused person. I despise this interpretation of the story with every fiber of my being, and I have absolutely no respect for the opinion of anyone who peddles it, regardless of who they cast as villain/victim (because people have also done this with the others—it’s just more “popular” to do it with Dean... I mean... does anyone else remember how people were shitting on Sam after his emotional reaction in 14.12? Calling him an evil abuser? Because I do).

The thing that always gets me about this take isn't just how dishonest, unfair, mean-spirited, and compassionless it is in its treatment of Dean’s feelings, circumstances, and intentions... but how deeply reductive and offensive it is toward Sam and Castiel, sucking away their identities to turn them into effigies to mourn for their sad, Stockholm syndrome-esque attachment to their "abuser". Further, it grips the heart of the show—the relationship between Sam and Dean, and then the relationship among TFW as a whole—in a tight, uncompromising fist and pulverizes it. It literally rips out the heart of the show (the RELATIONSHIPS) and replaces it with something unprepossessing of any merit: A miserable, 15 years long story about a malicious abuser getting away with terrorizing those closest to him for his entire life, while his poor abuse victims suffer through until they die for him/happy to be reunited with him because they “don’t know any better” and never ever learned better, I guess. What a stupid, sad sack of a story.

Castiel is a thousands of years old celestial being who has literally beaten Dean into the pavement under no form of mind control, and has shown over and over again that he will do whatever the hell he wants, regardless of whatever Dean thinks about being sidelined. If he thinks whatever he is doing is in Dean's best interest, he literally does not care how Dean feels about it. He will nod and smile and then fly off and swallow thousands of souls with Dean begging him not to, shove Dean out of the way to attack the big bad, leave Dean alone in Purgatory, refuse to come out of Purgatory so he can self-flagellate, fly off with the angel tablet, help Sam with the Book of the Damned, let Lucifer possess him without anyone's knowledge or agreement, come into Dean's room under the guise of apologizing for ghosting him so that he can steal The Colt out from under his pillow and murder someone, decide not to murder that person and still prevent Sam and Dean from helping by knocking them both unconscious, get himself killed, make a deal to trade his life for Jack's and never tell anyone, hide information and worries and ignore phone calls, ghost Sam and Dean, and bicker and fight with Dean as if they are a married couple. Love sickness and feelings of worthlessness (which Cas has a wealth of reasons to feel—many of which aren’t even related to Dean but to his heavenly family) are reinterpreted as the result of some sort of constant, terrorizing emotional abuse. Power and authority that Dean does not actually have is forced into his hands by these fans. Maybe listen when Cas says, “Hey—not everything is your fault.” Maybe listen when he says “I loved the whole world because of you”, calls Dean a role model, says he enjoys their conversations, offers to die with him and dies for him multiple times. Maybe treat these feelings as genuine and valid and HIS and not as the delusions of some poor manipulated baby. 

Sam is framed this way even more often than Cas, and it's a damn shame, because what I typically see is this: Sam’s development into a mediator and peacemaker is twisted and reinterpreted as coming from a place of weakness and/or fear. Rationality, maturity, wisdom, and compassion are not the traits of a scared, powerless child. They are the traits of a mature adult, who has been beaten down by life, and fought and raged against his circumstances, and somehow come out of it with more kindness and understanding and strength instead of less. He has made his own decisions whenever it was possible, within the set of circumstances doled out to him. From telling his dad to go fuck himself and going to college, to getting back into hunting to avenge Jess (NOT because of Dean—Dean took him home without complaint at the end of the woman in white case), to continuing to hunt after their father died because he wanted to feel close to him (Dean was actually weirded out and sort of disgusted by this), raging and fighting to save Dean from his deal against Dean’s wishes, continuing to hunt and working with Ruby (directly against Dean’s dying wish), drinking demon blood, jumping in the cage, leaving hunting to go be with Amelia, coming back to hunting to save Kevin, fighting with Dean over what he had with Amelia and threatening to leave if Dean didn't shut his mouth, leaving Amelia to go back to hunting (Dean ultimately suggests he go back to her—Sam chooses to stay), trying to kill Benny, demanding to be the one to do The Trials and saying he is going to SURVIVE them—that being the ENTIRE POINT, losing that resolve in a fit of depression but choosing to drop the knife, demanding space from Dean (and being given it), fighting to save Demon Dean who didn’t want to be found or saved, using the Book of the Damned against Dean’s wishes, telling Charlie that this is what he wants—that he used to want normal but now all he wants is to hunt with Dean and that he doesn’t know what he’ll do if he can’t have that, unleashing the Darkness in his desperation to keep Dean with him and even saying, “I would do it again” in the aftermath, saving the town being destroyed by Amara, getting into The Cage with Lucifer, leading a team against the British Men of Letters, nurturing Jack, punching Dean in the face when he was going to sacrifice himself, leading more hunters, wielding a gun against Chuck... and that’s just some highlights. Sam Fucking Winchester does not need your bullshit about him being some sad, scared, helpless baby lorded over by mean old Dean who has never let him do anything he wants. 

Yes, in the text itself, there is jealousy and resentment at times, and there is legitimate and righteous anger on Sam’s part on a few occasions. There is blame cast on Dean by Sam for some of these choices/circumstances. Some of those moments where Dean is blamed are legitimate, and some of them... frankly, are not. Within the framework of the fucked up dynamics of the way they were raised, Sam and some fans bristle when they feel Dean is casting himself as the parent he is not, but Sam also has been guilty in the past of trying to reframe himself as Dean’s child when things got tough. Neither of them is responsible for the origin of that dynamic, but they BOTH have responsibility to change it, and they both, ultimately, succeed in doing so. For Sam, his part comes in recognizing and learning to fully own his own choices. Recognizing that he is not a child, and he is certainly not Dean’s child, and it isn’t just “Mummy—loosen the grip”, but Sam has to too—not claim independence only to blame Dean for his choices when his own decisions have an ultimate outcome he is unhappy with. That is a legitimate arc that Sam goes through imo, but he comes out the other side of it, and he and Dean relate to each other much better as peers from then on—and I’d like to note that throughout the entire series, when they don’t relate as perfect peers and teammates, it isn’t always Dean “bossing Sam around”, but Sam also trying to sideline Dean and yes—boss him around. And when they lied and hurt each other and yes, even manipulated each other, Dean most certainly wasn't always the one doing the lying and hurting and manipulating. Always, always, ALWAYS, they both had an understandable point of view, and it was complex, and you could understand why they made the choices they did, even if you thought of those choices as being wrong ones. 

I also would like to point out (because this is basically what I see all of the time) that Dean being hurt by someone or simply voicing his feelings or opinion is in no way abusive or manipulative. Dean is certainly charismatic and loved and his returning love and respect is often deeply desired, but he is not an actual siren, who bends people to his will simply by speaking or being. People are, in fact, able to tell him “no”, and frequently FREQUENTLY do. Further more, no one is owed his affection, his unwavering loyalty, or his trust. He has a right to his boundaries, regardless of if it makes some poor sad sap feel deprived of the “wellspring of coveted love” while he works through things. He can be hurt and angry, and he can wear his heart on his sleeve at times, and he can be flawed, and broken. [Insert Castiel's speech from 15.18 here]. So can Sam. So can Cas. None of them are manipulating each other by virtue of getting angry, feeling hurt, being traumatized, needing space, or having differing opinions or feelings. Sam didn’t punch Dean in the face in 14.12 because he's a cruel, manipulative abuser trying to force Dean under his thumb. He didn’t work behind Dean’s back with Ruby, insist on doing The Trials, beg Dean to use Doc Benton’s alchemy, use the Book of the Damned to cure Dean, pump him full of blood to cure him of being a demon despite the fact that it might kill him, or scream at him and fight him for wanting to get in the Ma’lak box because he “doesn’t respect his autonomy” and “wants to control him” and “doesn’t respect his right to his own body”. He did it because he loves him desperately, and Dean could stand to fucking hate himself less, and he fiercely wanted Dean to live even when Dean didn’t want to or couldn’t picture what that could be like. He didn’t force Dean to do anything simply by opening his mouth to voice disagreement and swaying Dean when he did so. Now reverse that. 

Cas didn't beat Dean into the ground in season 5 because he wanted to terrorize him into never going against Castiel ever again. He didn’t go behind his back dozens of times, sideline him, go MIA, all because he wanted to manipulate and control Dean and punish him. He didn’t throw sassy remarks at him to shatter his self-esteem. Now reverse that. 

*Breathes*

Anyway, fuck "X is abusive” interpretations. 

[flyingfish1]

Gripping Castiel Tight and Raising Him From Perdition

Dean and Cas’ storylines have echoed one another ever since the beginning. They are two people who were conditioned to be unthinkingly obedient soldiers. To have “blind faith” in powerful, unquestionable, distant fathers. To think of themselves as weapons first, people second (Heaven’s soldier and “Daddy’s blunt little instrument”). To always put their own emotional needs and desires second to their mission – and, indeed, to repress most of those emotions altogether. To put duty above all. They have painfully learned to overcome most of that programming. They’ve learned disobedience. They’ve fought for free will. They’ve loved their fathers, gone on quests to find their fathers, and been disillusioned with their fathers. So it’s only fitting, I think, that the show is wrapping things up with one last major parallel story between the two.

Some of that above-mentioned conditioning still lingers. “Duty above happiness,” for Cas especially, is huge. “What you want isn’t as important as what other people need.” They both struggle mightily with that.

We’re looking at one last emotional breakthrough that Cas needs to have in order to reach his happy ending.

And SO, in order to achieve that, we’re looking at one last major structural parallel between the two of them. This story played a big role in Dean’s early character growth and change, and it has been set up to deliver the same kind of transformational growth to Castiel.

In short:

Dean and Cas take care of a child. The child isn’t their own biological child, but Dean and Cas come to think of themselves as being that child’s parent.

Dean and Cas make a promise to that child’s dying biological parent that they will look after the child, and protect him and keep him safe, and prevent him from pursuing the dark and world-destroying path that his dangerous powers could potentially lead to. They raise that kid to be the type of person who wants to save worlds rather than end them. Dean and Cas love their kid with all their hearts. And then they are forced to watch him die.

Dean and Cas make a deal with a dark force to cut their own lives short in exchange for their child’s resurrection. Dean makes a deal to go to Hell, and Cas makes a deal to go – ahead of schedule – to the Empty, a place that’s been described as “worse than Hell” (14x08) and “full of sorrow and despair playing over and over again, of angels and demons dreaming about their regrets. Forever” (15x13).

They know their loved ones will be hurt if they find out, so they both try to keep the deal a secret at first (Dean insists to Bobby, “You can’t tell [Sam]. You take a shot at me, whatever you got to do, but please don’t tell him” [2x22], while Cas maintains, “[Sam and Dean] don't need to know what happened here…. I don't want them to worry” [14x08]). But of course Dean can’t keep the secret from Sam forever. And Jack already knows.

Sam: You shouldn't've done that. How could you do that? Dean: Don't get mad at me. Don't you do that. I had to. I had to look out for you. That's my job. (2x22)

Jack: Why? Why did you do that? Cas: Because I made a promise. Because I love you, Jack. (14x08)

Resurrecting Sam and Jack is a matter of love – of course it is – but sacrificing themselves is a matter of duty, of keeping a promise. It’s that same sense of duty that’s been emotionally strangling both Dean and Cas for, really, all of their existences.

To quote a couple of antagonists...

Azazel: I couldn't have done it without your pathetic, self-loathing, self-destructive desire to sacrifice yourself for your family (2x22).

Lucifer: I know what a weak, duty-bound, pleasureless dullard you are (12x07).

And THAT is what they both have to break through. THAT is what they both have to overcome. THAT is the KEY. For Dean, the big turning point comes in 3x10 when he can finally acknowledge – first to his dream self, and then to Sam – that he doesn’t deserve to go to Hell. That he doesn’t have to be the obedient soldier. That he is so much more than “Daddy’s blunt little instrument.” That he doesn’t have to sacrifice himself in order to be worth something as a person. That he wants and deserves to have dreams of his own and that he doesn’t have to sacrifice everything about himself for his family.

You might say that Dean is giving himself permission, for the first time in his life, to be his own person.

Cas needs to have an equivalent realization, and he will. Cas will – in the Empty’s words – “give himself permission to be happy.” THIS IS NOT THE SAME THING AS BEING happy. I want to draw that distinction. It’s not about experiencing a moment of happiness: it’s much more permanent than that. It’s about acknowledging to himself that happiness is something he deserves to have.

If it hadn’t been for the writers’ strike in s3, Dean’s realization would have been the point at which the narrative shifted into Sam saving Dean from ever having to go to Hell. But things didn’t work out like that.

And so the parallels continue:

Dean doesn’t really get much of a chance to become his own person before he is killed and taken to Hell. And, therefore, Cas… I’m assuming… having had his ‘I deserve to be happy!’ realization… and whether or not he’s actually experienced happiness yet… will go to the Empty.

And then?

Well –

At the very beginning of the story of Cas and Dean’s relationship, Dean was in need of rescue, and Cas was the rescuer.

And – as things come full circle – now Cas is the one who is in need of saving. Now it’s time for somebody, and I hope it’s Dean, to grip Cas tight and raise him from perdition.

And I hope that together they will be able to shake off the remnants of everything that’s been holding them back. Dean can fully shake free of destiny, John, and Chuck, and embrace becoming his own person. And Cas can finally embrace happiness.

[petrichoravellichor]

Begin and End There

For Day 3 of the Supernatural Deserved Better Creative Challenge (prompt: Castiel has rainbow wings).

This is Chapter 1 of 2; the second chapter will be written for a future prompt in the same challenge and should be up within the week.

Rating: T

Relationships: Castiel & Jack Kline, Castiel/Dean Winchester

Summary: After the Empty takes him, Castiel wakes up in the last place he expected, with a second chance at happiness when he reunites with Dean and the latter finally gets to speak his truth.

(Read on Ao3)

--------------------------------------------------------

THEN

Dean: “Just want to let you know you are saving our asses here. You’re saving the whole world’s ass.”

Amara: “I haven’t saved anything yet.”

Dean: “But when the time comes, we can count on you, right?”

Amara: “Like I told you when we first met: ‘You and I will always help each other.’”

-15x17, “Unity”

********************

NOW

Castiel opened his eyes, blinking against the white light that blurred his vision. Strange, he didn’t remember the Empty being this bright…

“Cas?”

That voice...He knew that voice. Jack. Had the Empty reneged on Its deal and taken them both? He felt a stab of panic at the thought and reached out in blind desperation. “Jack? Jack! Where are you?”

A hand caught his wrist and squeezed gently, and as quickly as the panic had come on, it was gone, banished by a soft pulse of familiar grace. “It’s okay,” he heard Jack say, “it’s okay, I’m here. We’re safe.”

Castiel sighed in relief. Thank goodness. He turned his head toward Jack’s voice and blinked once, twice, three times until his vision cleared and he saw, much to his surprise, that he was lying on the couch in Heaven’s throne room. Next to his head, sitting cross-legged on the floor, was Jack, looking relieved as their gazes met. He stood, finally letting go of Castiel’s hand.

Castiel got up off the couch and immediately pulled Jack into a hug that the latter returned in earnest. “What happened?” Castiel asked as they parted. “How did I get here?”

Jack’s lips quirked in a conspiratorial smile. “I made a deal with the Empty.” Then, eyes widening at Castiel’s look of alarm, he added hastily, “But not like the one you made! I told the Empty that Chuck was gone and that if It gave you back, I’d leave It alone forever. No more interfering, no more bringing anyone else back, just peace and quiet, like It wanted. And It said yes.”

Castiel felt his brow furrow. “Chuck is...dead?” How was that possible? And what had been the cost? Suddenly, every fear crashed down on him at once. He surged forward and seized Jack by the shoulders, frantic. “Dean. Sam. Where are they? Are they hurt? Are they here? Is that why we’re—”

“No.” Jack’s hands came up to wrap around Castiel’s forearms in a reassuring squeeze. “Sam and Dean, they’re both fine. Stevie, Eileen, and the other hunters too. I brought them back. I brought everyone back.”

“‘Everyone?’” Castiel echoed. He frowned. “Jack, what happened?”

Jack’s smile faded, and his grip on Castiel’s arms tightened, as though afraid Castiel would be torn away from him at any moment. “Before, when the Empty...when It took you, Chuck took everyone else away, too, the entire world. The only ones left were me and Sam and Dean, and then we found Michael, and then my...Lucifer, he came back, and he pretended to be you so Dean would let him into the Bunker, and…” Jack chewed his lip, considering, then said, “Here, it’s better if I just show you.”

He raised his hands to Castiel’s temples and pressed lightly.

Castiel saw the inside of the Bunker. He saw Lucifer killing a reaper to make a new Death, then eliminating her permanently once she’d opened Chuck’s book. He saw the fight that had followed, saw Michael kill Lucifer and Jack absorb the latter’s power, saw Jack sit down with Sam and Dean and Michael in the war room to formulate a plan…

As though from far away, Jack’s voice filtered into his thoughts: “And then we all went after Chuck...”

The scene changed. Instead of the Bunker, Castiel saw a large clearing next to a lake. He saw Sam and Dean, armed with angel blades, yell for Chuck to come and face them. He saw Chuck appear, arrogant, condescending, his expression twisting into one of fury when Michael stepped out of the trees to stand next to the brothers, his archangel blade glinting in the sun. Castiel saw Chuck order Michael to kill Sam and Dean, saw Michael flat out refuse. He saw Sam and Dean and Michael rush Chuck together, all of them quickly becoming enmeshed in a brutal hand-to-hand combat that ended abruptly when Chuck sent out a shockwave that brought the others to their knees. He saw Chuck raise his fingers, poised to snap, ready to end it for everyone except himself, when—

“Amara!” Dean yelled. “Now!”

And then Castiel saw Chuck seize, as though restrained by an invisible force. He saw Jack step into the clearing and walk purposefully up to his grandfather, a look of fire in his eyes. He saw Jack place his hands on Chuck’s temples, saw the surge of energy that flowed into Jack as Amara materialized at Jack’s side, unharmed. He saw Chuck fall to the ground with a cry, powerless. Saw him beg first Amara, then Michael, to help him, saw both refuse.

He saw Chuck turn to Sam and Dean, a relishing sort of spite on his face as he asked if this was the part where they killed him, because how perfect, how fitting that would be! And he saw Dean say that no, he wasn’t a killer. Saw Sam throw Chuck’s book to the ground in front of him and tell him to write his own story, because he was done writing theirs. Saw the brothers turn and walk away with Jack and Amara and Michael, the five of them driving off in the Impala as Chuck stumbled after them, begging, pathetic, defeated, as he was left alone in the dust…

The scene faded, and Castiel was back in Heaven’s throne room, gazing at Jack in wonder as the former lowered his hands. “Jack, you...You’re the new God.”

Jack gave him a sheepish shrug. “I’m still me,” he said, “just...more. I can do everything I used to, and then some. Chuck’s power, it’s mine now, and I’m going to use it to fix things.” He gestured around at the throne room. “Like Heaven. The way Chuck made it, with everyone locked in their own memories...He put them behind walls so he could control them. I’m going to tear down the walls and remake Heaven the way it should have been from the start, so that people can decide where to go and what to do and who to do it with. No more control, no more constraints, just...choice. Free will.” Jack smiled. “Just like you and Sam and Dean taught me. It’s what we fought for.”

Castiel felt himself smile in return. “Yes, it is.” Then, a doubt: “What about Amara?”

Jack beamed. “Oh, she’s going to help! We’re going to do it together, and once we’re done, she’s going to stay and look after things up here while I go back to Earth and help people down there. That way, I can stay with you and Sam and Dean. Speaking of which,” Jack gave him a nod, “you should go. Dean is waiting.”

Castiel felt himself suddenly still. “He’s...waiting?”

Jack nodded. “For you. I told him I’d try to get you out of the Empty and that if I could, I’d send you back to him.”

Castiel swallowed; he felt as though his entire being was holding its breath. “I...see.”

“He said he had something he needed to tell you.”

“Did he...say what it was?”

“No, just that it was important.”

“Ah.” Castiel looked away, mind racing. What if he’d made Dean uncomfortable by confessing his love? What if Dean just wanted to see him to tell him that he didn’t feel the same way? Would he still let Castiel stay, as a friend? Castiel wasn’t anywhere near as powerful as he used to be. Chuck had said it himself, and so had countless others before him: Castiel was defective, broken, had come off the line with a crack in his chassis. He hadn’t even been able to help in the final fight, because he’d been dead. What was left of his grace began to prickle anxiously. Now that Heaven was finally safe, what use did the Winchesters even have for him anymore?

Or worse, what if Dean blamed himself for Castiel’s death? Dean had been through so much, had overcome so many burdens that should never have been his to bear. If there was any part of him that harbored guilt over what had happened, then Castiel would fix that. Dean deserved to be happy, and Castiel would make sure that he was. Even if Dean’s happiness didn't involve him.

“Cas?”

Castiel looked up and, seeing Jack’s concerned expression, forced a smile. He nodded. “Yes. I heard you. Thank you, Jack; I’ll go see him.”

Jack beamed. “Good. Oh! But before you do, here.” He placed a hand over Castiel’s heart. “I have something for you.”

A current of grace flowed from Jack’s palm into Castiel’s chest. He felt a prickling sensation on his back and glanced over his shoulder, gasping at the set of magnificent black wings that materialized even as he watched. They were exactly as he remembered, healthy and strong, shimmering like an oil slick in the sun and making rainbows of refracted light.

“There,” said Jack, stepping back with a grin. “I thought you might want them back.”

Hesitantly, Castiel reached out to run a finger over the velvety feathers, shivering at the familiar-yet-long-forgotten sensation. His wings. He’d thought he’d lost them forever, had even mourned them, and yet here they were, returned to him at last. “I...” he managed, at which point Jack pulled him into a hug that Castiel returned fiercely. “Thank you, Jack.”

“No,” said Jack, his voice somewhat muffled by Castiel’s shoulder, “thank you. I chose you as my father before I was even born because you risked everything to make sure that I would be. From the very beginning, you knew what I was, knew who I was, and even then, you never stopped believing in me, never stopped fighting for me, not even when I lost my soul. You saw the good in me, and you taught me to see the good in others. I am who I am because of you, Cas; we won because of you. You’re my family, and I love you. And I want you to be happy.”

Castiel swallowed the lump in his throat. He didn’t know what to say, was too overwhelmed to even begin to respond, so instead, he just hugged tighter, wrapping his wings protectively around Jack and pressing a kiss to the top of Jack's head, hoping that he understood.

When they finally separated, Jack smiled at Cas and raised his hand in a gesture of farewell. “Go,” he said. “Talk to Dean, and tell him and Sam that I’ll be home soon.”

Castiel nodded. “I’ll see to it that we have Krunch Cookie Crunch cereal on hand for your return.” Then, with a wave and a flutter of wings, he was gone.

[norahastuff]

Bucklemming are the ones who wrote Cas using emojis!

Yeah, they nailed it with that one.

Unpopular opinion ahead warning!

I can’t believe I’m actually saying this, but I genuinely think Bucklemming have been writing Cas really well since s13. I mean don’t get me wrong, their episodes are disjointed as fuck, the pacing’s usually really jarring and the excessive exposition drives me up the wall. They don’t seem to know the meaning of show don’t tell - see the weird ass scene where Sam and Dean, reveal their big plan to Chuck in 15x19 - but I do think they’ve given us some good Cas content.

For instance:

13x07 - Cas getting to be bitchy and condescending to Lucifer and just generally getting to make fun of him and act superior. Dean being really worried about him and able to tell that something’s wrong because Cas is being overly affectionate over the phone. This is also the episode where Ketch pretends to be his own evil twin and Dean punches him in the face, which yes, is really stupid, but it’s so ridiculous it swings right back around to being hilarious and I’m obsessed with it.

13x13 - Kind of a forgettable episode and I hate all the Lucifer stuff but Cas is just so done with everyone and he gets to do the flippy angel blade thing and knock Ketch out which is pretty much the content I’m here for.

13x18 - Nothing major for Cas here, but he’s once again pissy about Ketch and completely done with everybody, which, I’m easy, that’s pretty much all I need.

13x22 - Honestly there was some amazing Cas stuff in this episode. He got to meet an AU version of himself that was so completely broken from years of torture because he’d never met Dean and had never been able to fully rebel. I mean this exchange in particular:

AU Cas: Don’t think that you are better than me. Well, we are the same.

Our Cas: Yes. We are. (Stabs him.)

Cas isn’t surprised in the least about what he became in a world without Dean, and it’s really satisfying to see Cas have his choices validated and to see him be good with where he’s at in his life. I mean they even have the whole juxtaposition of AU Cas torturing Charlie on heaven's orders and our Cas torturing someone on Dean's. It's still Cas, it's just his allegiance and what he's fighting for is different.

Unfortunately this all becomes much less poignant because Misha decided to do that weird ass German accent for AU Cas, (love you dude, but no) but the writing for him in that episode is pretty good. Plus he gets to say he vastly prefers humans to angels, which is always nice to hear.

14x02 - This episode is full of excellent Cas content. He parents Jack, gives him a monologue about how he found self worth when he was a human, talks to him about Kelly and just generally coaches him on being human.

He also gets to talk about vessels and his feelings about the whole Jimmy thing. Plus he dunks on angels again, is the smartest person in the room and is very clear that his priority is always Dean.

14x07 - My favourite thing is Cas getting to act superior and condescending towards people he can't stand and it’s there in spades in this episode because this is where Cas meets Sergei. He hates him so much and its hilarious. There’s also a long shot of Cas failing to look dignified when sitting on a pouffe. Oh and he dunks on Ketch again when he finds out Sergei and Ketch are buds.

14x12 - Cas is annoyed as fuck with Dean about his whole “lock myself in a box and throw it to the bottom of the ocean” plan so he dresses up as a doctor and has a ridiculously intense conversation with Dean that seems like it could lead pretty much anywhere before they get interrupting moose’d.

14x19 - There’s some good Cas/other angels stuff in here, just further cementing that heaven is very clearly not his home anymore. Also the Cas and Jack stuff is good too.

15x02 - Holy shit, I love this one. That whole conversation that Cas and Dean have about how Chuck has been manipulating them but Cas refuses to accept their decisions haven’t been their own because he knows what free will is and he’s fought and given up everything for it, is one of my favourite scenes in the entire show. That whole scene is just such good characterisation, for Dean yes, but especially for Cas, because he has such a complicated relationship with destiny and grand plans, and he, more than anyone, knows what it truly means to free because of how hard he’s had to fight for it. And you know:

“Dean you asked what about all this is real. We are.”

That’s a banger of a line, if I’ve heard one.

15x08 - Dean and Cas go to hell and get couple’s therapy from Rowena, actually their whole dynamic in this ep is very well done, what with the whole “I can’t look at you but I can’t be away from you either” thing they’ve got going on. There’s also some really good Cas and Michael stuff and he actually says “You had an entire oak tree shoved up your ass” so yeah.

15x13 - Cas going to the Empty, he’s once again just done with everyone, especially Dean and I love it. Plus there’s the Dean and Cas marriage symbolism in that church, I mean they have to do some really contrived storytelling just to have Dean and Cas stand at that altar together.

15x19 - Yeah this episode is clunky af, but Cas’ importance is repeatedly emphasised. There’s that cut scene where Jack prays to him, Michael expressing condolences to Dean about Cas’ death (also cut I know but they still wrote it), Dean yelling at Chuck to bring Cas back, the whole Lucifer pretending to be Cas thing(he impersonates people’s dead lovers when he’s asking them to let him in) and finally the big moment at the end where Dean internalises Cas’ big speech in 15x18, and decides to see himself as Cas did and be the man Cas loved and died for. 15x19 is too much of a mess for me to call it a good ep, but that scene was really satisfying.

So yeah, there’s plenty of stupid in BL episodes and I found all the Lucifer and Nick stuff really tedious but at a certain point they did get kind of good at writing Cas, his characterisation is pretty consistent throughout their episodes in the Dabb era which I don’t really think was the case back in the Carver seasons. Guess they at least learned something.

(10x21 is still some of the worst writing in the entire show though.)

[beautifulbows924]

Defending Beauty

Lucifer (Supernatural) x Reader

Masterlist

(Set after Season 11- Jack doesn’t exist in this timeline, and Chuck & Lucifer have repaired their relationship to an extent. Lucifer is living at the bunker, and so is Gabriel (who was kidnapped by asmodeus, but was found earlier in this timeline). The archangels will occasionally help out on hunts when the hunters need a helping hand).

A/N: Hey everyone. Wow! I keep starting these little things I get inspired to write and then I forget about them or I don’t think they are good enough to post- but I swear I’m getting back into writing (FINALLY). I’ve been really into reading supernatural angel fanfiction lately, so this was born out of that. I should have some more fanfics up soon with other Supernatural characters (Castiel and Gabriel cough cough). Remember to feel free to request for Supernatural (or anything I write about really). I love you all! I’m so excited to be getting extremely close to 2000 followers. I’ll have to do some kind of Challenge or something once I reach the goal. As always I hope you enjoy, feel free to leave any feedback:)

Word Count: 1750+

Warnings: FLUFF, Angst?, Good guy Lucifer? (Reformed), Strong Language, Typical SPN Violence, and Suggestive Themes.

Summary: Reader has always been kind to Lucifer, who seems to be misjudged by everyone in his life. The Winchester brothers don’t like this, and have no problem letting them both know it.

“Why do you feel the need to defend him!? He’s the goddamn Devil!”, Dean yelled, face close to yours with his hands clenched in anger.

“Because Dean! Lucifer is real and he isn’t just some little red man with horns and a pitchfork tail. He is beautiful, because he’s an angel and he used to be God’s Favorite”, You paused to take a deep breath, venom seeping into your words, “Just because all you and Sam want to see of him is the devil- you can’t even take a look around and see him for who truly he is. He may be a fallen angel, but he’s the only angel I’d ever get on my knees for. Even GOD himself has forgiven him Dean, so don’t patronize me for agreeing.”

You glared at him, challenging him with every word.

“Well now I know why on every hunt it looks like all you want to do is suck his dick!”

“Dean enough”, Sam said softly from behind his brother. His voice getting louder when he started to address you, “We’re just worried about- how close you seem to be with him. I know you weren’t around for a lot of the apocalypse stuff, but he hurt us a lot. We don’t want to see that happen to you too”, He confessed.

“You don’t choose who I spend my time with. Gabriel has “hurt” both of you and yet neither of you have any issues with me hanging out with him. The only reason we are having this conversation is because you don’t like that I appreciate his help. Why? Because he’s the “Devil”. So what? He’s proved time and time again that he can be trusted. Hell he just saved Sam from Death yet again! But no, only you two get to choose who receives forgiveness- who gets a pass when it’s convenient for you. If I remember correctly Cas started an apocalypse too, so stop being hypocrites when it comes to Lucifer. He hasn’t even asked for your forgiveness, but the way both of you treat him is ridiculous. Grow the fuck up.”

You swiftly turned away from both of them, the sound of your heavy footsteps echoing off the bunker walls. You couldn’t believe Dean- all Lucifer ever did was help and he couldn’t stop treating him like some kind of monster. He had come immediately and helped save his brother’s life, but nothing was ever good enough for him. Either of them.

You scoffed at the thought of what Lucifer would think of this outburst. Sam and Dean hated how you viewed Lucifer, and it was obvious your feelings were more than just simple respect. You felt like such an insignificant human with a crush on a mighty archangel, God’s favorite of all things. Your door slammed shut behind you, and with a quiet sigh you laid down on your bed. Your hands pressed against your face in frustration of the prior events.

The fluttering of wings startled you, whipping your head around you turned to see Lucifer leaning casually against your headboard. Anyone else would have missed the slight narrowed look to his eyes and the left tilt his head made sometimes when he was trying to figure something out, but you weren’t just anyone.

“How much did you hear?”, You asked, hoping to get this conversation out of the way as quickly as possible.

He seemingly ignored your question, shifting closer to where you were seated at the edge of the bed.

“You know I never wanted to experience something as stupid or as dangerous as love. And to love a human? It’s simply beyond comprehension-”

“You don’t have to rub it in Lucifer, I understand”, You said, cutting him off before you had to bear the rest of your heart shattering in your chest.

You didn’t know what response you were expecting, but you jumped a bit when strong arms wrapped around your waist and a head leaned against your back. It was comforting and you allowed it, thinking it may be the last chance you would get to do so with the archangel.

“I don’t think you understand Y/N. I may be a fallen angel, but I wasn’t supposed to fall for you. It was never in my plans to let any of humanity into my heart- and if Hell were to see me now they would scoff at my sincerity”, Lucifer said, holding onto you tighter as if you might slip through his fingers at any moment.

You turned a bit to face him again, his arms still wrapped around you. He looked up, blue eyes meeting yours and you swore that you could make out a hint of vulnerability swirling there.

“Lucifer- I uh, I care about you quite a bit, and I don’t know if that’s what you mean regarding how you feel about me but-”, Your words were stopped suddenly at the feeling of cold lips pressed to yours. You were frozen at first, until you realized what was happening and returned the kiss passionately. A hand instinctively reached up and tangled into his hair tugging on it a bit. He groaned and gripped your hips pulling you into his lap. You gasped at the sudden movement, allowing his forked tongue to make its way into your mouth. You fought for dominance, but he quickly won against you. The kiss lasted for as long as possible before you needed to breathe.

You pushed on his shoulder with the hand that had been resting in his hair to signal for him to lay back against the bed. You laid down against him, your head on his chest listening to his heart beat, right hand absentmindedly playing with his t-shirt. His arm wrapped around your waist, drawing soft circles with his fingers.

“Was that- I mean, What was that?”, You whispered softly to him, confusion seeping into your voice as you wondered if he could really feel the same way about you.

He laughed a bit, smiling down at you. “You are an odd little creature aren’t you, do we need to do a repeat of the last 5 minutes as proof of how I feel?”

You blushed at this, the way he was holding you almost felt like confirmation enough, but you couldn’t help your need to know for certain.

“I just can’t believe that happened”, You pressed further, “It almost feels like a dream”.

The hand that was still rubbing circles into your side, pinched your skin softly. “No dreams here, little human. Although, I heard a mention of you on your knees earlier, and that sounds like quite the dream to me”.

You laughed a bit at that looking up at him, “Sweet moment ruined”, you said.

“Me sweet? Never”, He said gesturing with his hand to himself.

You leaned up a bit to press his lips to yours again. He smiled into the kiss and you pulled back to see the brightest smile you had ever seen grace his features. You couldn’t help but smile back in pride that you had caused such a look.

“How long have you had feelings for me?”, You asked suddenly, curious as to when he realized it.

He looked away a little at that, you would swear he even seemed embarrassed at the posing of your question. You laced your fingers with his, giving his hand a tight squeeze in encouragement.

He scratched the back of his neck with his free hand, “When I first came back to the bunker after my father helped me to reform my vessel. You were the one who would ask me to do things with you. You would read to me when I would sit next to you on the couch. I wouldn’t even have to ask- you would just suddenly switch from reading in your head to aloud as if it was customary. You would always have coffee ready for me in the morning when you realized that despite my angelic status I enjoyed it. And when it came to Sam, Dean, Gabriel, or even My Father himself. You would defend me, the devil, Satan- you looked past how everyone viewed me and truly saw me. I don’t know if I can ever make up for the mistakes I’ve made in the past, but I would like to start by learning to see humanity, angels, everyone the way you do. Kind and without any judgement. Somehow you’ve changed me, my little human”.

He breathed in shakily, before speaking again, “And earlier today when you prayed to me. I was terrified- me”, He laughed without humor, “I thought I might show up and find you dead, taken from me. I would never be able to forgive myself if something happened to you on my watch”.

You could see the pain in his eyes at the thought of losing you, “I’m not planning on leaving you anytime soon Lucifer, my angel”, You said softly, caressing his cheek with your hand.

He hummed in response.

“Since I first laid eyes on you, I noticed how lonely you seemed. How you would hide behind your hard stares and smirks. I wanted to treat you without looking through the eyes of others, especially knowing how well most of them judge character”, You laughed taking a pause, “I started noticing the way you’d gravitate closer towards me whenever we were in a room with others, and I liked the idea of us. A cherry red color became my fate when anyone would point it out, or notice it too. Because I never thought that you would want me as anything else other than a way to feel less alone.”

“I’m glad I was wrong”, You murmured softly into his neck, leaving a kiss there and continuing all the way up his jawline until you kissed his lips roughly.

“Me too”, He said, pulling away to look at you directly in the eyes, then settling you back into his arms.

You yawned quietly, your head resting on his chest again.

He laughed a little bit at the noise, but leant down to place his lips against your forehead.

When your eyes closed he told you, “Get some rest my little human, I’ll watch over you”.

He tried to pull away, but you snuggled further into his embrace and whispered, “Please stay”.

“Of course”, He responded quietly, knowing there was nowhere else he would rather be.

The comforting feeling of his arms wrapped around you as he whispered sweet words of nothing into your ear, lulled you right to sleep.

True to his word, Lucifer watched over you all night.

And God couldn’t help but smile in the morning, when he saw you and Lucifer together. Lucifer finally trusting a human enough to sleep in their arms, even if he didn’t need to.

*Thanks for reading! Leave a Note or Reblog if you Enjoyed it* ~Rose💛

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[hoboal87]

Some thoughts on the possible ending of Supernatural... Spoilers, maybe?

Y'all, what if supernatural doesn't go out with a bang but a whisper? (Yes, I'm aware thats not how the phrase goes, but fuck it) Like, no blood and gore, just a soft ending for our boys.

Here's the thing: you know Dean never thought that he'd make it this long. He's always figured that he'd go on some hunt and just never come back. He'd go down swinging, probably take the MtoW with him. Dean didn't even think "retirement" was a possibility until Jack came around.

Sam - Sam has been kinda resigned to his fate of being a hunter. I think this season has really shown how he is ready to leave this life behind. One of the most heartbreaking things that has come out of this season is that Sam still thinks about Jessica and (presumably) the life that he could've had with her.

Pre-Hell Trials, Dean hated the idea of Sam leaving, not hunting anymore, but after watching how far Sam was willing to go to atone for his past, (starting the apocalypse, letting Lucifer out of the cage, ect.) he's changed his tune. This season Dean actually encouraged Sam to persue a relationship with Eileen. We all know that beneath his "tough-guy" exterior, Dean is a big ol' softy that just wants his brother to be happy. Cas said this as well, "you think that it's anger they drives you, but it's love...you are the most loving human I will ever know... You raise your brother for love, you fought for this whole world for love."

I honestly have no freaking clue how this series is going to end. None of us do. Dabb has said that a lot of people may not like the finale, that it might be something similar to GoT. Personally my issue with the GoT finale is that it didn't feel earned. They were trying to do too much in a short amount of time.

Supernatural has had this problem a little this season, and there's at least 3 that were complete filler. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the episodes, but they didn't do much to further the Chuck plot.

Anyway, back to the finale.

We know pretty much nothing about this episode. We know that they've filmed at the bridge from the pilot, and that at some point, the Impala's original plates are back. Which, OMG what if Dean kept the plates for the last 10 years!?!!? Some people are speculating that we're going it get some kind of time travel or series reset. One theory that I like is that the boys go to the empty to rescue Cas and wade through his memories.

Cas-- I really, REALLY, hope that we haven't seen the laet of him. I know that Misha had said something about not being on set the last day of filming, but I don't think that means he wasn't there for the episode. It's been strongly hinted that only Sam and Dean are the last two faces that we see. I believe Jensen said something to the extent of "the last time Jared and Jensen see each other is the last time Sam and Dean see each other." Jensen in particular said that he had a lot of trouble with the ending when he first read it. We also know that they want to leave it open enough so that they can come back. This is why I don't think we're gonna get a bloody, guns out, go-down-swinging ending.

So what if, the last scene is Dean leaving Sam and Eileen to live their apple-pie life and he and Cas go on another hunt, Sam watches as the Impala disappears in to the sunset, and then cut to the interior of the Impala. Zeppelin is playing and Dean reaches over, grabs Cas' hand and gives him the smirk*TM and that's when it cuts to black.

[thegeminisage]

me sighing and rubbing my temples ok if you’re not watching but wanna know, here’s what happened on supernatural. it was a bad episode

sam, dean, and jack are the only people left in the world

dean makes it back to hastings and tells sam and jack that cas died to kill billie and save dean by summoning the empty, but he leaves out the love confession (called this in my fic, thank you)

he didn’t change out of the jacket until a timeskip later

jack cried and prayed to cas but there was no answer

LOTS of pretty horrifying/sexy shots of the world being empty. like, covid pandemic lockdown footage. that chilled me right down to my bones

at some point dean finds a dog and he’s SOOO happy like this one little dog is a win but then chuck shows up and vanishes the dog too

and theyre like ok chuck what do you want us to do kill each other? fine we’ll do it but put the world back and put cas back and chuck was like lol no

so then back at the bunker a few days later dean’s phone rings and it’s CAS’S PHONE and MISHA COLLINS says dean im outside im hurt please let me in and dean RACES to the door and then it’s fucking LUCIFER

who god busted out of the empty (THATS BREAKING CANON GOD ISNT SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT) to come and steal his “death book” - death has a book for everyone telling how they die, god included, and only death can read it. that book COULD kill chuck or at least say how he dies but none of them are death and death just died so lucifer brought a reaper, killed the reaper to make the reaper death, and the reaper opened the book and read it

oh yeah michael survived somehow but adam is dead so it’s just michael in there. they tried to get michael to read the book earlier and he couldnt lol

then lucifer KILLED THE NEW DEATH and took the book so he could take it back to god

and lucifer and michael fought and lucifer called him a cuck twice. yes really. he mightve called cas a cuck i wasnt paying attention

anyway, then michael stabs him, so the book is open, but nobody can read it

sam says he used the book of the damned to find a spell in the book that can kill god, so they go to the side of this extremely beautiful lake which is very sunny and filmed very poorly and do this spell, and chuck shows up and stops them and beats the shit out of them

there’s a long sequence where chuck beats them up and tells them over and over to stay down and they wont do it. they keep helping each other up. on paper this would have made me cry but the execution was a bit awkward. i think of the buildup in swan song and the beautiful music and the camerawork and how tense i felt in a similar sequence when lucifer was killing dean and i just...this sequence REALLY coulda been it, god telling them to stay down and them refusing, but it wasnt

anyway jack shows up! it turns out he’s been absorbing power from everywhere all episode. from plants, from michael and lucifer, and now from god trying to kill the winchesters. so he takes god’s powers and makes god human (also called this in my fic)

and it turns out that the way god will die doesnt matter because one day he’ll simply get sick and die forgotten like other humans. which was admittedly sexier than outright killing him

dean did say “you think we’re gonna kill you well thats not who we are” in a callback to cas’s love confession and i maybe died a little. gotta take my joy where i can get it

then jack put everyone back (called that too) and said he wasn’t coming back to the bunker (also called that ugh my mind) but that humans should believe in themselves instead of him, because he believes in humanity

then there was a montage of all the cast and side characters over the years over some classic rock

THEN we cut to sam and dean in the bunker saying now that chuck is no longer writing their story, theyre free, and the story can go wherever they want. and dean puts his arm around sam and they get up and walk away

with a slow pan to the table they were at, with their initials and mary’s name and jack’s name and CASTIEL’S NAME!!! carved into it

and then the credits

supposedly that was the SEASON finale and the next one is the SERIES finale but ??? i honestly dont know what they could have left to do that would fill 45 whole minutes. i know misha collins isnt coming back (and FUCK them for cas baiting me) so like...aside from sam and eileen getting back together ??? who knows! they literally wasted so much time just saying that chuck had all the power and there was nothing anyone could do and then pulled that outta their asses like. i know every episode cant be swan song but swan song was beautiful and meta and made me feel. this episode made me numb :/

[alexandermanes]

it’s you, it’s me, it’s us

listen i don’t know what this is but it wouldn’t leave me alone

this is about the aftermath of defeating chuck and still having to deal with Cas’s deal with the Empty. a character study on both parties in Deancas. Angst ahead. 

ao3

They did, they rescued the world from its own creator and now what?

At the moment they are all in separate rooms after celebrating their victory, each of them retreated to be in their own company. Sam in his room talking to Eileen excitedly over the phone, Jack watching cartoons in the library, Castiel sat on his bed and Dean drinking his prestigious whiskey straight from the bottle. Each of them absorbed in their own Universe. Though one thing loomed closer than before: Castiel and his deal with the Empty.

See, the thing about Dean and Cas is that they are in love.

Unbeknownst to them, of course, in the early stages they had mistaken sexual frustration with the non-sexual kind. Castiel, Angel of The Lord, once leader of battalions, soldier in a holy war arranged by God Himself morphed into a rebel so many years ago. The obedient servant of Heaven, now an outcast, tossed reality as he knew and perceived, no questions asked, into the bin for men. A single man. The one he lied his hands on in the shrieking pits of Hell, the one whose soul he caught a glimpse of in the midst of all the chaos and pain in the fiery pit; a soul so bright it brought him the reassurance he needed that so surely Heaven would win the apocalyptical war. The one he raised from perdition and whose body he assembled together anew. In all those years of acknowledging he chose the Winchesters over his angelic brothers and sisters, and above all, God he never realized the multitude of his actions, and to be fair neither did Sam and Dean, despite the fact that everyone around them had, in their own way, pointed out his sacrifices and his loyalty to the hunters. It didn’t exempt him of his falls, of his own mistakes; the omissions, secrecy and sometimes straight-up lies etc. There’s no denying that, at times, he did the Winchesters wrong but regardless of those times, there isn’t much he wouldn’t have done for Sam and Dean. Especially the older Winchester. He knows he wronged Dean but it’s clear in his mind that he would bleed himself dry a million times before he let anything happen to him. And isn’t that something? It could’ve been easily mistaken for brotherly love the way the admission of the lengths he would thread to keep Dean Winchester safe and sound comes out matter-of-factly, unyielding, without any doubt of his mouth. Though it isn’t brotherly love that permeates his and Dean’s relationship. Once he purposely stepped back into (literal) Purgatory because it meant Dean would be out in the world where he belonged to, perhaps not exactly unharmed, nevertheless, where he wanted to be, where he’d be in his brother’s arms once more. He fought monsters in Purgatory, Earth, Heaven, Hell and in other Universes; he fought demons, angels, Lucifer and God for Dean. All of it for one man, as Metatron once said. In all his years beside the two men he never regretted once siding with them. And now everything seemed a bit hazy, perhaps lost behind the veil of passage of time, it seems all wasted. It isn’t as though he repents sacrificing so much, he doesn’t, but he wishes he had more time.

And Dean?

Well, he will burn Heaven and Earth and everyone that stands in between him and his angel. Fairness, despite being regarded once as “the righteous man”, isn’t his strongest suit in relation to the angel. He should’ve thanked him more, complained less. He should’ve savored those small moments of joy with him, the way he had become as human as the sparkle in his eyes when he saw something or someone he loved so completely as he loved Jack, for instance, the way his Nephilim child brought the best and worst out of him (to others, of course). He should’ve asked him to stay, he should’ve fought harder, he should’ve been less prideful, less angry.

He should’ve said he loved him.

Absorbed in should haves and should have nots, he realizes having Cas by his side is a merry go round. It always is, the loss and revival, the never-ending cycle and in all those times he watched his decay he promised to do better, be better in case the angel came back, if he ever did, though he never was. He was never enough and neither were his exhausted efforts. Every time Cas died something in him chipped away and each time the loss ached gravely, he wonders now when the clock will run out, when he finally will be out of chances to do better by his angel. He wonders when the last final time comes what will he do? What can he do? Besides turn into ruble evidently. He wonders if one his worst nightmares ever come into fruition who will he become? A shell of man, hollow and sterile? A broken man who can be saved? Is he even worth saving? Was he ever worthy of salvation? Unlikely, yet here he is all thanks to Castiel. Will he ever be able to return all of what his friend has done for him? Will he ever atone his past mistakes?

Images of Cas beaten down by Dean’s own hands flashes behind his eyes, images of the sorrow Dean’s words etched into Castiel’s face, images of his deaths... they all fall on him. All of them. Maybe if he corrupted another angel maybe he wouldn’t have messed up Castiel’s story the way he did. But did he ever have a choice? Did Cas? Perhaps not. But here’s what he knows: he has to atone for his mistakes, he has to, he has to like the whiskey he downed in a single movement burned his throat, he needs to like he needs the oxygen cursing through his veins and he will fight like hell to do so. And he will succeed, so help him, he will. The Empty can fuck off, he thinks bitterly. He will save Cas and fuck justifying his future actions because “the world is a better place when Castiel is around” or because “he is family”. The world can suck his dick for all he cares, he’s done saving it, he needs his angel, he needs him badly. The world owes him to be selfish and fight for one person like Cas did time and time again. He will be damned if he lets anyone, even an ominous and powerful entity, pry his angel out of his hands. And when he finally has the Angel safe and in no imminent danger of being killed or taken away he will finally be the man he deserves. And if that sounds ambiguous, well, it ain’t Dean’s problem.

 So here, Dean in the kitchen silently cursing the world for trying to rip Castiel away from him yet again, and the angel, subsequently coming, to the realization he is in love and has been in love with the infamous hunter for over a decade, they had never been so close, yet so far apart.

[shadowywerewolfqueen]

Home

For Suptober Day 20

Dean Winchester’s first home was a large farmhouse in Lawrence, Kansas. It was the place his parents brought him to when they left the hospital a few days after he was born. It was where he slowly grew from a crying baby to a wobbling toddler to a bouncing preschooler. During his time at the farmhouse, he became a big brother. From an early age, Dean was protective of his brother, Sam. He would help his mother, Mary, care for Sam as if he was his own child rather than just his brother. 

It was at the farmhouse that Dean started to learn about his father’s true personality. At first, Dean thought his parents were perfect angels and the world revolved around them. He soon lost that image of his father. Many times Dean would come running down the stairs to find Mary crying, just having hung up the phone with John. Even at a young age of three and four, Dean comforted his mom rather than the other way around. It was no wonder that when Dean’s first home burned down, he was devastated by the loss of his mother.

Dean’s second home turned out to be a car rather than an actual place: a 1967 Chevy Impala, lovingly called Baby. After Mary died, John left the farmhouse and took the boys on the road to track down the demon that had destroyed their happy family. Over the years, Dean and Sam stayed in hotel after hotel and attended school after school, never staying in any one place for very long. In fact, they probably spent more time in Baby than they ever did in a hotel. Throughout their childhood and teenage years Baby was the only constant.

She became Dean’s most prized possession after John died, finally enacting revenge against the demon who killed Mary. Even though Baby had been crashed multiple times, Dean never even thought of getting a new car, instead fixing her up time after time. Every time he rebuilt her, he made sure to include the things that made her special. He crammed that old army man back in the ashtray that Sam had put there originally. He shoved the Legos back in the vents and recarved their initials on the rear package tray. Baby was home and he was going to make sure to fix her up properly. 

Dean’s third home became the Men of Letters Bunker. It was never meant for him and Sam, but that didn’t stop them from making it theirs. As soon as they unlocked the door and walked down the steps for the first time, Dean started nesting. He chose a room for himself and started decorating. He got a memory foam mattress, hung his weapons on the wall, stowed his pictures in the bedside table, and set up his record player for all his vinyl albums. He completely unpacked his duffel bag for the first time since he was a child.

He stocked the kitchen with food and beer, finally able to cook a meal instead of having to eat greasy takeout food all the time. He found an old gray robe and bought pajamas to lounge around in when he and Sam weren’t working a case. He stored Baby in the garage, ensuring that she would be safe. He even turned one room into his own personal entertainment room. The Dean Cave had everything Dean had ever dreamed of: a giant flat screen TV, a foosball table, a jukebox, a bar, and two of the comfiest recliners he could find.

Dean’s fourth home was an angel named Castiel. From the moment Cas rescued Dean from Hell, he belonged to the angel and the angel belonged to him. From the very beginning they shared a profound bond. Cas would only come when Dean called and no matter Dean’s feelings towards the angel, he came when Cas called as well. Dean showed Cas what it meant to have free will and Cas in return showed Dean how to trust and believe in others. Against all odds, Cas and Dean became the best of friends and besides Sam, there was no other person Dean trusted like he trusted Cas.

Cas was there for Dean to see his greatest achievements and to help him through his lowest moments. He fought by Dean’s side to defeat Lucifer and throw him into the cage. He worked with the demon, Crowley, and betrayed Dean in the process to ensure that the archangel, Raphael, couldn’t harm Dean or the rest of the world. He took on Sam’ madness just so Dean could have his brother back. He went to Purgatory for Dean and stayed behind because of his guilt for betraying the hunter.

Dean was the one to break Cas of Naomi’s brainwashing and Cas was there when Dean took on the Mark of Cain. Cas was by Dean’s side when they had to fight Amara and was there when Mary returned to the realm of the living. He broke the deal with Billie to ensure that no Winchester lost their life. He went against Dean’s wishes to bring Jack into the world but together, along with Sam, they’ve raised Jack into a wonderful young man. When Michael possessed Dean, Cas worked tirelessly with Sam to find a way to rescue him. When God threatened to destroy the world, Cas was there by Dean’s side to help stop him.

Dean had learned years ago that of all his homes, Cas was the one he couldn’t live without. When Cas betrayed him to work with Crowley, Dean had been furious and his trust in the angel had been broken. That didn’t stop him from carrying the angel’s trench coat in Baby’s trunk for months when he thought Cas had been killed by the leviathans. When Cas was lost in Purgatory, Dean blamed himself for leaving the angel behind. After Gadreel forced Dean to kick Cas out of the bunker, his heart had nearly shattered. When Cas had been stabbed by Michael’s lance, he was so afraid of losing the angel, he had been speechless. 

None of those times compared to when Lucifer stabbed Cas and the angel had been lost to the Empty. Dean’s heart had truly broken and he had barely been able to survive. That was when he learned how much he truly loved the angel. Once Cas returned to him, Dean had been overwhelmed with joy but he still kept his feelings to himself, afraid to destroy the friendship they had between them. When Dean eventually learned of Cas’ deal with the Shadow, he refused to let it follow through. Even though they argued and hurt one another time and time again, there was no way Dean would lose his angel permanently.

Now, months after Chuck had been defeated and Cas’ deal settled, Dean could finally admit his feelings to the angel. He made sure the first words he spoke in the morning and the last words he whispered at night were those of love and adoration for his angel. Dean had found his final home and he wasn’t going to give it up ever again.

[drsilverfish]

The Rupture/ The Rapture - Subtextual Grammar and Castiel’s Relationship to Dean in 15x03

Hey everyone,

Catching up British time and just seen the ep, so looking forward to seeing all your posts and gifs shortly! Firstly, some musings of my own.

Has Berens’ ripped everyone’s hearts out already? That’s some pretty potent symbolism right there for heartbreak huh? (Sorry Ketch):

The Rupture recalls, in subtext, through visual symbolism, Castiel’s long narrative journey in relation to Dean. So that Dean and Cas’ break-up, already foreshadowed by Chuck and Amara’s “divorce” in Reno last week, at the end of the episode (for those following the symbolism) is given extra punch. 

Firstly, the title, The Rupture 15x03 deliberately recalls, following Dabb’s ouroboros (circular/ spiral) narrative structure, The Rapture 4x20. That episode was critical for Dean and Castiel’s relationship. Castiel rebelled against Heaven and entered Dean’s dreams (his intimate space) in order to try to warn him about the angels’ plans by passing him a love note:

In the subtextual grammar of the show, that pier incident, has become a symbol of Dean and Castiel’s intimate connection. For example in 14x10 Nihilism, you can see a pier at sunset with a figure standing on it in the background on the wall, behind Dean’s mind-Pamela:

And remember, mind-Pamela profoundly represents Dean’s feelings for Castiel in that episode. Recall her costume, with the winged necklace and the T-shirt symbolising Dean’s salvation from Hell by Cas? And mind-Pamela, in Rocky’s Bar, is someone Dean wants, but thinks he can’t have.

Of course, Castiel was dragged back to Heaven and punished for his disobedience in 4x20 The Rapture, yet, eventually, as we know, he rebelled again and chose to help Dean over Heaven. So, when Berens recalls The Rapture in his episode title, The Rupture, it is to remind us just how much Castiel has sacrificed for Dean. 

“I rebelled, and I did it, all of it.... for you” (5x02 Good God Y’All).

As Cas said to Dean last week, in 15x02 Raising Hell, what’s “real”, despite Chuck’s machinations?: “We are.”  

Cas can see (at that point) that his connection to Dean has profound meaning, at least for him (a profound bond, indeed) because Dean helped Cas finally break free of Heaven’s control. Something (we learn in 8x21 The Great Escapist) that Cas had been trying over and over to do for aeons, only to be mind-wiped and re-programmed again and again. Naomi tries to torture re-programme Cas, yet again, in 8x17 Goodbye Stranger, by getting him to murder endless Dean clones in Heaven (making it very clear that the source of Castiel’s free will and resistance is his connection to Dean specifically). BUT Cas’ bond with Dean is too strong, and he breaks free of Naomi’s conditioning when faced with the real Dean, bloodied and on his knees, telling him: “I need you.”

If anything in Chuck’s multiverse symbolises free will it is Castiel’s rebellion against Heaven for Dean. 

What Cas isn’t clear on, by 15x03, is that the “profound bond” continues to have any meaning for Dean himself. As he says, bitterly to Belphegor:

Cas: “Sam and Dean are just using you. Don’t mistake that for caring about you, because I an assure you, they don’t.”

Bel: “Wow, you learn that the hard way?”

The symbolism, of Castiel’s journey in relation to Dean, continues in 15x03 in the visual grammar, as we see Cas, literally, jumping into Hell:

which of course recalls what we all know so well - that Cas fought his way into Hell and rescued Dean from Alastair’s clutches and resurrected him:

Castiel (to Dean): “When we discovered Lilith’s plan for you, we laid siege to Hell, and we fought our way to get to you...” (4x16 On the Head of a Pin). 

This shot of Dean and Cas together in 15x03, literally at Hell’s mouth, with a gravestone between them, likewise symbolises that event (Castiel’s resurrection of Dean from Hell) as well as the present “death” of their relationship:

So, it’s no accident that the magical object Castiel is tricked by Belphegor into retrieving from Hell in 15x03 is Lilith’s crook. Because (as in the 4x16 quote above) Lilith was the demon who worked to ensure Dean was dragged to Hell, to be broken by Alastair (whom Belphegor re-mentioned, also not by accident, in 15x01 Back and to the Future) thus breaking the first seal to jumpstart Lucifer’s return and the apocalypse.

All these reminders of Castiel’s significance to Dean, of Castiel’s salvation of Dean, of how they averted Chuck’s apocalpyse before (in S5), together, at the very moment of their break-up.... 

So, when we see Castiel on his knees in Hell, reluctantly singing a praise hymn in Enochian to Lucifer in order to achieve access to Lilith’s crook, aka magic horn? (Belphegor explicitly refers to the crook as a “horn”).  

Well, in subtext, the magic horn (Lilith’s crook) can be read as a sexual metaphor. 

This symbolism is the juxtaposition of the sacred and the profane - an angel at prayer in Hell. 

And following the shot of Cas kneeling in Hell, we get this shot of Dean, looking down into the Hell-mouth...

A visual reversal of Castiel’s rescue of Dean from Hell in S4.

Castiel passes the “magic horn” to the demon wearing the body of his beloved son, Jack:

 Jack who always, in subtext, symbolised the (forbidden) love between Dean and Castiel (his adoptive parents) because, as a Nephilim, he was the product of (forbidden) human-angel congress. 

Here at the start of S15, we know Castiel is losing his angelic powers after trying to heal Sam’s God-wound, and the show has previously been quite clear that becoming human entangles Cas in the world of human sexuality. We’ve seen that in 5x04 The End  with Castiel and the orgies he shares with Future!Dean:

And we also saw it (crudely drawn by Bucklemming) in 9x03 I’m No Angel, when newly fallen Human!Cas has survival sex with the Reaper possessing April (yes, ugh - consent issues all round):

Belphegor pleading with Cas in Jack’s voice reminds us of everything Jack meant to Cas. Cas, after all, once towed Heaven’s party line and regarded Nephilim as “abominations”. We saw that in 8x22 Clip Show, when Metatron  inveigled Cas into killing a Nephilim, in order to obtain her heart, for his (subtext-heavy) angel-fall spell, and we also saw it in the flash-back sequences in 12x10 Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets when Cas believed Akobel deserved to die for (supposedly) fathering a Nephilim child with Lily.  

What was once profane to Cas has become sacred. 

Jack, and loving Jack, represented (among other things) for Castiel, some kind of accommodation with his own secret heart. If the child of an angel (Lucifer, no less) and a human could NOT be a monster, then maybe an angel loving a human might not be monstrous either, despite Heaven’s edicts. 

But then Jack (apparently) killed Mary, and the Winchester family, whose always previously shaky membership (for Cas), Jack’s co-adoption with Sam and Dean had cemented for him, was blown apart. 

In 15x03 Cas is forced to kill Belphegor wearing the body of Jack:

And the death of Jack’s Nephilim (human-angel union) image, becomes, in the visual grammar, a metaphor for the death of Castiel’s hope of any continuing union between him and Dean - the death, on Dean’s part, Cas believes, of the profound bond. Hence we get a corpse-shot:

And Castiel’s tears:

Castiel echoes (having absorbed them) Dean’s unkind (grief-stricken) words to him from 14x18 Absence, “You’re dead to me!”

Cas (to Dean): “I’m dead to you.” (15x03).

After everything they’ve been through together (to Hell and back, as carefully illustrated in the visual grammar of 15x03) Castiel has utterly lost hope that he has any remaining emotional meaning for Dean; without Jack, without Mary, without his powers.  

Walking away (as the Winchester family signature music plays poignantly in the background) is a huge (and ultimately positive) step for Cas, who has, over the years, more and more built his identity and his meaning around his connection to the Winchesters, following his long rebellion against (and rejection by) Heaven. After everything Cas has been through (the narrative suggests) he deserves to be his own person, to be loved for himself (not his powers) and not to be taken for granted. 

And so we are left with the LOUD narrative negative space of Dean’s silence at the end.

 We can see Dean’s tense body language, in the final shot, half poised as if to spring forward, half frozen to the spot, as Cas leaves:

That silence in the narrative structure, which is mirrored in the symbolism of the ghosts/ demons being temporarily re-bottled up in Hell (like Dean’s feelings) as well as in the re-death of the feminine in the form of Rowena (because the feminine in the grammar of SPN = feelings) DEMANDS words, at some point down the road. 

Last time Cas was human, Dean kicked him out of the Bunker (thanks to Dean’s coercive pact with Gadreel) and we saw Cas’ broken-hearted suffering over that break-up in 9x06 Heaven Can’t Wait (Berens’ very first episode for SPN):

This time, Cas has more agency. He decides to initiate the break-up, because his heart (and how very human of you, Cas) can’t bear being treated to Dean’s silence, Dean’s anger and Dean’s (apparent) indifference any longer. 

Now, we need not only to see Dean come to his own broken-hearted realisation over this (reverse) break-up (after all, we’ve seen Dean broken-hearted over losing Cas, to death, before now) but for Cas to see that realisation, in Dean. 

In The Rapture (4x20) we are told the story of how Castiel the angel came to take Jimmy Novak as a vessel - how the angel we know became conjoined to the human-form we best know him in:

 In The Rupture (15x03) Castiel is losing his angelic powers again, moving once more towards inhabiting Jimmy Novak’s vessel, which is now his own body (Jimmy’s soul long-gone, and indeed that body destroyed and yet resurrected AS Cas, several times), as a human. 

Last time Cas was human, Dean missed his shot. How about this time?

The Ouroboros narrative is taking its final turn.     

My usual disclaimer: subtextual readings do not inevitably indicate or imply that textual romantic declarations will be forthcoming between Dean and Cas. That element of the story has been told in subtext for 10 years (and that’s where it quite likely will remain, in the terrain of ambiguity). Subtext IS however, part of narrative.

Nevertheless, an emotional reconcilliation of some sort, however readable as “brotherly”, comrades-in-armsy, nebulously “familial” etc. is, by story-logic, absolutely inevitable. 

That which is parted will be re-joined - Chuck to Amara, Cas to Dean. 

[nastassia1031]

Thoughts on 15x20 after a few days

It’s been a few days now since the finale aired, and I’ve had time to really digest it and think about it. After all this time I can definitively say that I hated it.

On my first watch, I was so caught up in the fact that it was the last episode that the actual content of the episode was somewhat lost under nostalgia. Now that I’ve had time to really digest the episode, I can honestly say that as far as I’m concerned, the show ended at 15x19. And I thought 15x19 was a weak episode.

The main reasons I disliked the episode have very little to do with Destiel, though we are definitely going to discuss that.My biggest complaint is the fact that we undid 15 years of character development for Dean with this episode to regress Dean back to his season one self. Dean spent the entire series learning self-worth beyond his status as a hunter and in forty minutes it was all erased. Dean never got a childhood because his entire existence was protecting his brother. His entire adulthood was spent being caught between a toxic level of codependency with his Sam and a stranglehold of self-loathing. All of his anger issues that boiled over so intensely this season were due to getting the fears he’s had his entire life confirmed, that he was just a blunt instrument in someone else’s plan, that he’d die violently because why else did he exist if not for that.

That could have made him cruel, but everything Cas said about him in 15x18 was true. Everything he did was always for love, even when he hated himself. And Dean was getting better. Telling Chuck he wasn’t a killer showed he was finally beginning to internalize everything Cas said to him. He was starting to get past his self-doubt and trauma. He was applying for normal people jobs (in the first montage there’s a clear shot of a job application sitting on Dean’s desk). He got a dog. Dean Winchester had just found a reason to live, after an entire lifetime of putting himself dead last and throwing himself on every grenade that presented itself. Killing him before he got the chance to enjoy the life he fought so hard for is unforgivable.

The song says there’s supposed to be peace at the end. When you’re done.

Dean wasn’t done.

That’s the biggest reason why I hated the episode, but it’s far from the only reason.

Dean’s entire complex character was reduced to beer car pie. Dean’s speech was beautiful, but it also reduced the brothers right back to their first season selves - codependent far beyond what is remotely healthy.

“Family don’t end with blood” sure got thrown in the garbage. Dean dies and not only is Dean’s hunter funeral empty except for Sam and the dog, but the montage of Sam’s life has him looking utterly miserable. Using a montage was also just lazy storytelling, and only served to make Sam seem more isolated.

Jack snapped everyone back, so what was the reason why we couldn’t have had Sam on the phone with Jody reminiscing about Dean? How about Sam just talking to his brother? There’s not a person alive who doesn’t talk to their dead loved ones. Instead, we get glimpses of a Sam who looks and behaves like a shell of a person, who seems to have abandoned the entire family structure this show spent 15 years building.

Eileen’s utter absence. Why even bother bringing her back if she wasn’t intended to be Sam’s endgame? The COVID excuse doesn’t remotely hold up, because it would have been beyond easy to establish her as Sam’s wife instead of Generic Blurry Woman. That montage of family photos? Photoshop Eileen in a couple. Problem solved.

And then we get to Cas. The fact that Dean was never allowed to respond to Castiel’s declaration is utter bullshit. We’ve seen the way Dean has behaved in the past when Castiel has died. He carried the trench coat in the trunk of his car like a war widow with a flag. He saw Cas everywhere and literally rewrote the narrative in his mind to make it his own fault that Cas was stuck in Purgatory. He was actively suicidal to the point that Billie called him out on it after Lucifer killed him.

For all that I found 15x19 to be a weak episode, we at least got a few instances of illustrating Dean’s grief - Dean drinking until he literally passed out on the floor, his sprint up the stairs when he got the fake call from Cas. But denying Dean the chance to actually pray to him when we have an established history of Dean doing JUST THAT? Not okay.

This episode also ignores the entire narrative structure of the season. Becky is the stand in for the fans, and when we have her reading Chuck’s original ending, she brings up a lot of the complaints the fans have - too sad, no Cas, a generic monster of the week case. All the way up to episode 18, a significant portion of the season was focused on Dean and Cas’ emotional arc. We have their breakup in 15x03, outside characters commenting on the strain between the two of them such as Rowena in 15x8 to Dean’s prayer and their subsequent reunion in 15x09.

To have that much lead-up culminating with Cas’ confession in 15x18, (an episode that was originally titled “The Truth” but then changed to “Despair”) with absolutely no chance for Dean to respond? That’s bad writing. That’s bad storytelling, and it’s wholly unfair to Dean’s character that we got a series of bad montages that cheapened Den’s entire character arc.

Reducing the third lead of the show to a throwaway line that Dean isn’t even given a vocal response to is a slap in the face to Misha Collins and all the work he did as one of the most beloved characters on the show.

I could write an entire dissertation about how Supernatural has a long history of queerbaiting, and Dean’s character has been coded as bisexual and his relationship with Cas hits nearly every narrative beat and trope of a romantic relationship. I could also go into accounts from PAs and other members of the show that have very different accounts of what was filmed for 15x18 and 15x20 than what we actually saw, as well as accounts from the cast of script changes that go way beyond COVID required changes.

But the simple truth is, Supernatural could have done something with the finale that could have been incredible. Instead, we got a disjointed, badly paced mess that is frankly an insult to all three of the leads and a slap in the face to the fandom that kept them on the air for 15 years. Jensen’s absolute silence regarding the finale on social media speaks VOLUMES about what his opinion of it is.

Is this going to change my love for the show? No. There are 326 episodes that aren’t garbage. And give the fans a couple weeks and someone will recut the finale into something passable.

This show means too much to me to allow Andrew Dabb’s shitty writing in one episode and the CW’s bullshit to destroy. Fandom can fix almost anything, and I’m far from being alone in my opinion on the finale.

Sam Winchester deserved better.

Castiel deserved better.

Dean Winchester deserved better.

And most of all, the fans deserved better.

Carry on.

[starryvioletnight]

Take it From the Top

Summary: A destiel fix-it fic/fluff piece. Not really one or the other. Death and Dean talk about Dean taking his ring to put Lucifer away. Death has other matters to discuss. Enjoy~

You raised your little brother for love,

you fought for this world for love,

that is who you are.

You’re the most caring man on earth, 

you are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know.

Ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of hell,

knowing you has changed me.

Because you cared, I cared.

I cared about you,

I cared about Sam,

I cared about Jack.

I cared about the whole world, because of you.

You changed me Dean.

...Why does this sound like a goodbye?

Because it is.

I love you.

Don’t do this Cas.

Goodbye, Dean.

Dean sputtered a breath as he looked up at the pale, sunken face of the Horseman. All he’d asked for was his ring, to open Lucifer’s cell and send him back down to hell, so the world wouldn’t end and they could all keep on living. He hadn’t noticed that time had stopped around them, that the world seemed too crisp.

“What the hell was that?” He rasped. He reached for the water, but the cup wouldn’t move. Everything was permanently frozen in its place. “I need a drink, god damn it.”

“Sorry, but if I allow one thing to move, then Chuck will be able to move. I’d rather avoid that if I could.” He folded his fingers together on the table top, and watched Dean with harrowing eyes. “I’m tired of bouncing from world to world just because he gets tired of his toys and wants to start again. I especially don’t like that you two meatheads somehow end up killing me in this entire mess you two make. Now I’m offering you a one time deal, and you’d best take it.” 

Dean wasn’t listening the closest. He was staring at the water. He snapped his head up and looked at Death. “Lay it on me.”

“You’re going to take my ring. You’re going to put Lucifer away. You’re going to think Sam is dead, and you’re going to forget about Adam.”

“But-!”

“You will, Dean Winchester.” He says, his tone a warning. “You’re going to play out all that I just showed you, up until you get that bloody mark on your arm. When Abaddon rears her head, and you need a way to kill her, I will craft you a weapon that can do the trick.” 

“But what if Sam or Cas get suspicious that you’re helping us.” 

“Think of something.” He says dully. “And be prepared to not see your mother again, that will not happen because Amara is never going to get free. And once Chuck has served his purpose, I will reap him myself.” His eyes never wavered from Dean’s.

“Do we… really have to go through all that pain and suffering? Why can’t we fix this all now and gank the SOB?” He frowned. “What’s the point?”

“There’s certain things that have to happen. Fixed points in time.” He told him calmly. “But in the end, you will all be alive and well and get your ‘happily ever after’.” He rolled his eyes and stood up. “Don’t do anything stupid with this knowledge, Dean. If Chuck finds out either one of us is on to him, we could create a chain reaction that would see the end of your reality in a blink of an eye.”

Dean frowned. Frustrated, a little exasperated, but all the same he nodded. “Fine. Just tell me when we’re all safe, okay?”

“Agreed.” Death took off his ring and handed it to the elder Winchester. “Don’t muck it up. I like the food here.”

Dante snorted and shook his head. He took the ring and stared at it, the weight of the future hanging on his shoulders. He couldn’t believe all he was going to allow to happen.

 The bunker was empty. Sam had taken Jack out for the night. The world had become… mostly calm. They still hunted demons, and monsters. Dean didn’t think that’d ever change. But so much of the other stuff had. No more apocalyptic threats. Death had sworn it. It was done, taken care of. All of it.

Dean walked to the library and sat down. He propped his feet up and pulled out his phone. He scrolled down to Cas’ number. He swallowed down a lump in his throat. He called the number.

“Hello Dean.” Cas answered. Same as always. Same old Cas.

“Hey, Cas. I uh, had a question to ask you. Do you got a minute?” He asked, and scratched the back of his head. 

“I suppose.” Dean heard some shuffling, and then a car door shut. “What is on your mind?”

“What do you think would make you happiest in the world?” He blurted. “Like, if your life depended on you being happy, what would it be?”

There was a quiet moment. “Is something wrong? Are you okay?” Cas asked. “If someone is there, let me know someway.”

“No, no Cas I’m not being held against my will. I doubt a killer would let me phone a friend in that situation anyway.” He said. “I’m just… curious.”

“Well,” Cas took a moment to think. “I think being with you, Jack and Sam would do it. All of us, having a drink or, watching cartoons. Something relaxing, fun.”

“Yeah?” Dean picked at his jeans as he listened. “All four of us, huh?”

“Yes, why?” Again, Cas’ worry came back.

Dean rolled his eyes. “I’m serious when I say I’m not captured. This ain’t a life or death situation.” Not really, anyway. But it did feel like it. “Cas.. how do you feel… about me?”

“Close? We have known each other a long, long time. Calling us anything less than friends would be a disservice to what we have been through.”

Dean paused and took a shaky breath. “Do you think… happiness is… just being? Do you think you need to have happiness, or can you just, be happy, ya know?”

Another, long pause. “Dean, this feels like a goodbye of some kind. And I do not like it.”

Dean can’t help but laugh. Yeah, yeah it did sound like a goodbye, because that’s what it was. It had been a goodbye, one that had haunted Dean for so many goddamned years before now. And now, he could finally say it. He had had years to prepare for this moment. And fuck he hadn’t prepared a single line. 

“How quickly can you be home, Cas?”

“Maybe an hour?”

“Try to speed. I want to see you.”

 Time seemed to drag on, as Dean paced the bunker in anticipation for what was coming. Castiel was going to be there any moment, and he wasn’t ready. Years of knowing this was coming, and he wasn’t ready. Unbelievable. He paced the halls and rooms, trying to rehearse cheesy lines that fell flat the moment they hit the air. What could he say? What would summarize years of unrequited pining, on both ends?

The door opened and Dean jolted, before he hid behind a pillar. 

“Dean?” The angel’s voice echoed in the mostly empty room. “Dean I’m here… what did you need?”

He’d always be there when Dean called. He knew that. He just had to say it. He had to make the first move. He stepped out from behind the pillar. “Hey Cas.”

“Why were you hidden?” Cas did that cute little head tilt and Dean swallowed down the lump in his throat. “Are you okay?”

Dean stepped forward until they were closer. Not super close. Maybe too close? Dean couldn’t tell. “Cas, if I had mere moments to live, and the only thing that would save me was thinking of the happiest thing I could…” He paused and took a deep breath. “I would think of telling you that you are one of the most important people in my life. You’ve helped Sam and I again, and again, and again. You’ve always tried to do the right thing-”

“Even when it was the wrong thing.” Cas chimed in. And Dean laughed.

“Even when it was the wrong thing. But you always tried to do better. Be better, for me and Sam, and now Jack. And… I really admire that about you. I think it’s one of your best qualities.”

“It really started with you.” Cas nodded. “You taught me a lot, over my years on earth. Team free will, and all that.” He smiled and shrugged. Like he was trying to joke and be serious at the same time. He wasn’t good at that, and Dean would have to tell him later.

“Well uh, good to hear, I guess.” He was so fucking nervous. “Cas… I have something really important to tell you, okay?”

Castiel nodded.

Dean took a very deep breath, pursed his lips, and then mumbled, “I love you man.”

“Dean?” Cas looked confused.

“I said I love you!”

His voice echoed in the empty bunker, and Cas blinked. So they stood there, and Dean shifted on his feet. They both kinda looked around, before Cas finally cleared his throat. “I love you too, Dean.” 

Dean whipped his head to make eye contact with him. “Yeah? Like, for real?”

“Yes.” Castiel nodded. 

“Not like, not as bros.”

“No.”

“Or as friends? Or like-”

Cas grabbed Dean and pulled him down. He kissed him. And Dean kissed back, and his eyes were closing and the world was spinning as he became light headed. His heart raced and his brain screamed, this is so, so right. This is how it was supposed to end. It had to have been.

Cas broke the kiss first, both taking half a second to catch their breath before Dean kissed him again, and gripped the lapels of his trench coat, Cas’ hands moving down his body to wrap around his middle. Nothing else mattered, nothing but this.

Dean eventually, after a few minutes at least, broke the kiss and panted shallowly, his body weak. Then, he laughed a little, and hugged Cas tight, who hugged back immediately. “You gotta practice kissing, man.” Dean teased.

“Thank god I have someone to practice with.” Cas chuckled. “Also, I doubt my kissing was that bad. I have had few complaints.”

“Was the pizza man a good teacher?” Dean asked cheekily, remembering way back when. 

“I’d like to think so.”

“It wasn’t terrible, I’ll give you that.” Dean pecked his lips one more time. “I can’t believe-”

Cas pecked his lips back, cutting him off. “I know. It’s liberating. But there’s something-”

Dean cut him off with a kiss. “What? What could possibly be on your mind?”

Another quick peck. “How do we tell Sam and Jack?”

Dean paused. He looked away a moment, and pursed his lips in mock thought. “Honestly? I don’t give a damn.”

Cas laughed. The two moved to the couch, never breaking contact. Once seated, Cas climbed onto Dean’s lap and cuddled up to him, the Winchester holding his angel closely. Dean ended up falling asleep like that, and Cas would never dream of waking him.

[dawnquafam]

Hot take: Castiel is the most important character in Supernatural. Not because he’s my favorite (though he is) or because he’s the best (though he is), but because they never could’ve won without him.

(I will admit, before I start explaining, that I’m extremely biased towards my angel, and I haven’t seen most of the eps Cas wasn’t in in years. But this is the hill I will die on, and this is the belief that will get me through all of this crappy writing.)

(And let me also clarify that this is NOT to mitigate the fact that it was a team effort. It absolutely was. All four members of Team Free Will 2.0 had their roles to play in the end. But I’m here to talk about Cas’s importance.)

Think about it. We know that there is only one (1) Earth where Chuck was defeated. There is only one (1) Earth he failed to destroy. But why? What makes it special?

Hint: Not Sam and Dean.

Yes, they’re vital. Every Earth without them fell to ruin. But also, in every other Earth where they existed, they fell to Chuck’s plans. So why not on this one?

Was it their love for each other? Yes.

But who stood at the center of two of the most pivotal scenes where they revolted against Chuck’s plans? Who was at the center of their fighting, first when Chuck started the end, and again when they were seconds away from killing him for good?

Jack.

Sam convinced Dean not to kill Jack in 14x20, so Chuck started the end. And again, Sam convinced Dean not to let Jack die in 15x17, so Chuck cast them aside as broken toys, finally giving up on them fulfilling his grand plan for his dramatic ending.

Jack was also the key to defeating him in the end. Without Jack to steal his power, there would’ve been no one with the ability to defeat him standing in his way. And why was Jack there to fulfill that role?

Cas.

Back when they learned Lucifer was going to have a child, they all thought it would be evil (and for good reason). But then unborn Jack instinctively knew Cas would keep him safe and chose him as his real father and protected him, and thus, Cas was the first to believe Kelly when she insisted that Jack was good. Cas was the first to believe that Jack would bring about paradise, not destruction. And because Cas believed it - because Cas died for it - Sam and Dean took him in. Because Cas fought for him, Sam fought for him, and because Sam fought for him, Dean fought for him.

And this goes on. When Jack was dying, only Cas could go to Heaven to find him, and only Cas could make the deal with the Empty to save him. When Jack was losing his soul, Cas refused to believe he couldn’t be saved, and only Cas didn’t betray him. When Jack was resurrected and Cas found him, he didn’t hesitate to bring him home.

But why did Cas fight tooth and nail to protect Jack? Why did he have so much love for someone who should’ve been one of his worst enemies?

Hot take #2: “Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam. I cared about Jack. I cared about the whole world because of you.” is wrong.

I fully believe that Cas believed that. I fully believe that Sam and Dean and Bobby are the ones that finally convinced Cas that rebellion was genuinely possible, because before them, without them, Cas was alone.

But I refuse to believe that Cas only loved after he met Dean, because that is just false.

It’s canon that Cas was on the shoreline when the first fish crawled out of the ocean - why would he be on Earth way back then if he didn’t care? It’s canon that he had always hated Gadreel for letting Lucifer into Eden and ruining everything - a key part of “everything” being humanity, not just the angel fam. It’s canon that he had to be agonizingly brainwashed again and again and again before he would hurt innocent humans - something he refused to believe he had done until Naomi told him he had.

We only get crumbs of his backstory, but what we have makes it quite clear: He has always loved Earth, and he has always loved humanity.

Yes, knowing Dean (and Sam, and Bobby, and all the others) changed him. There is no doubt about that. But as Naomi and Chuck said - this Cas came off the line with a crack in his chassis. But as Chuck said - this Cas is the only Cas in all the multiverse that fought alongside the Winchesters after gripping Dean tight and raising him from perdition. So really, it’s canon that Dean alone (or even the combo of Sam, Dean, Bobby, and anyone else the various versions of Cas would’ve met) was never enough to make Cas switch sides.

No, Cas switched sides because this Cas, our Cas, was born with an angelic heart full of love. He may not have been able to act on it at times, and it may have been buried at times thanks to session after session of brainwashing, but it was always there.

And because it was always there, Cas fought.

And because Cas fought, Sam and Dean and Jack won.

Cas wasn’t there to see it. He died thinking he meant nothing in the grand scheme of things, unworthy of a single man’s love, let alone important to the world. But the simple reality is that he did mean something.

In fact, he meant everything.

Because he loved.