#Sage a big fat yes

[children-of-epiales]

Tagged by @shegetsburned  @unbindingkerberos to to do this quiz!

Nemesis

sun and moon

for some you shine just right, and for others you are too much or too little. people either hate seeing you rise over the horizon or pray and send blessing to you like a favorite god. you are timeless and there are not many like you, you who can embody both a burning star and a cratered rock. what i'm trying to say is that your duality compliments itself very well, but not everyone will understand why they can't get what they want from you. it doesn't matter. burn strong when you feel the need, and be gentle in the nights it's called for.

Ōkami

dangerous parasocial celebrity fascination

how does somebody embody this as one person? simple. you are online way too much. you don't have to bare your secrets to the world, you are not our doll to prompt or play with, you belong to yourself. having an obsession with presentation was probably fun at first, but now it's a set of rules and you only have so many strikes until you're out. and to that i say whatever dude. just be. allow the side of you that is not a cardboard glamour exist as they are without pursuit of difference. you are allowed to exist plainly.

Sage

god-hungry scientist and their abominable child

you stitched something together inside of yourself and gave it life with light from the sky and now it won't die it and you can't kill it because part of you loves it and you're not quite right in the head or the person you used to be but at the end of the day it's simply a beast of sadness. you crave the mercy you didn't get from your creators and so i'm telling you please forgive yourself. please hold the monster by the hand.

Lara

wizened mentor and intrepid teenager

you may have been called an old soul as a kid, and now you're doing everything you can to benjamin button that back. in your head of heads you can hear yourself giving advice, but the heart of hearts says no, i will not miss out on myself ever again. i can do this. and it really is about finding that balance before you end up buying too many goddamned hatsune miku figurines trying to endorse that inner child. but please do buy at least two. i know you deserve it.

[is-nini]

Alhaitham x Bunny! Reader

Warning: dumbafication, degrade, filthy words, Alhaitham being mean, edging, breeding, manhandling, size kink. Trust me, pure filth. summary: you walk around Haitham’s house without panties on so Alhaitham decides to treat you like the slut you are ;)

Word count: 1794

Alhaitham and you are a combo people will never think about. He is an acting grand sage at some point and you are… well you. Just a cute little bunny enjoying her life. Even though it is unexpected, Alhaitham never really cares. He loves you and your carefree act. Sometimes the antics you do are dumb such as now, wearing no panties, letting your pussy out there while wearing your mini skirt but it's okay, Alhaitham is not afraid to put you in your place.

"Mhn-!" You squirm as Alhaitham holds you in your place. You sprawled out on your dear boyfriend's lap, ass up for his eyes to feast "Stop moving bunny" his big palm holds your hips still as you look up at him with a teary eye "Ha-haitham sorry, am sorry" you moan out as you feel your pussy slowly getting wet, feeling his stare on your pussy "you acted like a bad bunny, you will be treated as such".

his hand slowly strokes your ass, leaving a ghost trail along your ass as it slowly inches toward your pussy. He spreads your pussy lips for a while, toying with it. he pinch one of your pussy lips, pulling it making you let out a whine as your ass wiggled, trying to create some friction but a sudden pain stopped you. “I said no moving princess” Haitham growled out after spanking your ass. He repositioned you, pushing you face down to the bed. “So-sorry Haitham! Sorry!”. Alhaitham ignores your pleas and pulls up your ass as now your pussy is fully present in front of his face. “you keep saying sorry yet you still did the same mistake. Maybe I should punish you harder?” he ended his words with another hard slap to your ass, making you jerk upwards while emitting a squeal as you wiggle your ass on the air, trying to calm your red ass down “n-no Haitham! Please please” at this point your pussy is already wet, the pain and the stare is not helping your sopping pussy to stop.

“Please what princess? more?” Alhaitham smirked, looking at your face wet with tears as another slap hits your ass, making you cry out more. Alhaitham’s deep laugh of amusement makes you pout as his hand slowly went to the slit of your pussy. He looks at your throbbing pussy in amusement as he dips in and out his thumb on the wet slick of your cunt. “such a wet cunt and all for me? how cute” he lets his head goes closer to your pussy, blowing little wind making you shiver in anticipation. his breath slowly grazes your dripping cunt as he nudges a little of your pussy with his tongue. You immediately move your hips, trying to gain his tongue inside your pussy but as he would have it, he pulled away as soon as your pussy touches his skin making you cry out in frustration “Haitham! Haitham please pleasee please play with my pu-pussy” you moan out, whining and begging him to do anything just anything so that your pussy won’t feel empty. Haitham looks at you with a smirk on his face, he goes back down and slowly inserts his middle finger in, making a circular motion inside, scratching the walls of your cunt “Tell me, princess, do you want me to use my finger? or my tongue?” Alhaithama asked all the while his finger is still moving inside you “ha-ahn! c-cock please! Please” you beg, instead of him answering you, a hard slap fell onto your pussy, making you jolt and cry out a respond “ha-a!” a tsk fell out from Alhaitham’s lips as he scoffs at you “I didn’t offer you my cock you dumb bunny. it’s just my finger yet you’re already this dumb?” Alhaitham slaps your pussy one more time, making you jolt out as fat tears streams out. Alhaitham goes back down but this time his tongue latches on your pussy “ha-ngh! oh! yes! Please!” his tongue messily swipes across your sensitive bud, his mouth then latches and sucks on your bundle of nerves, making your leg shake and scream “oh! yes! ha-Haitham! so-so ghood ah ngh!” you legs are shaking as he keeps on attacking and sucking on your pussy, while his mouth is busy playing with your clit, his finger slowly make it’s way to your hole. he plunges two of his finger inside, fucking it in and out of you while his tongue busy abusing your nerves “Ha-Haitham oh! please Haitham! ngh! ah! Th-There! oh!” as you squeal and moan, you felt your stomach tighten and your pussy throbbing around Haitham’s finger, just as you were about to release, Haitham pulled everything away making you cry out in frustration “H-Haitham!” you scream out, face red and wet with tears, saliva dripping down to your chin, your little tail shaking in frustration as your climax was canceled. 

Alhaitham swipes the wetness that is left in his mouth as he stares at you with sharp eyes “What? You are not allowed to cum yet, that is your punishment bunny” You stare at him as your shakey leg falters once in a while, you were about to say something when Alhaitham flips your body with ease and pulls up your leg. he spreads your leg wide open, staring at your throbbing pussy. your wet slick messy pools around your thighs. Haitham pulls your hand up, holding it with only one of his hands. “you said you wanted my cock right?” Haitham pulled down his zipper, and your eye followed his hand, trailing down to see his cock spring out. the sight makes your mouth water as you feel your pussy start to throb more around nothing and your tail twitching in anticipation, Alhaitham notices this and strokes your pussy lips softly before slapping it again hard, making you jump and squeal in surprise “eeek! Haithamnnnh!” you whine out, Alhaitham’s deep chuckled echoed throughout the room as he slowly slaps his cock on your clit, making you jump every time they make contact “yes my little bunny? enjoying the view?” he teases. Alhaitham lets your hand go. he places his big hand on both sides of your hips. He pulls your hips up with ease as he slowly puts his dick in. 

“B-bunny.. s-so tight.. relax bunny it’s okay” You cannot handle his dick slowly moving in. You scream in ecstasy as your pussy engulf Alhaitham’s big cock “Haitham! too big! Too big! Oh! ha-angh! Haithammnn!” your hand reaches out to touch his abs, trying to make space to make him slow the insertion down. “ngh.. oh bunny you feel so good around me.. so tight and warm” Haitham closes his eyes for a while, trying to comprehend the way you feel around him, once he opens his eyes, a bulge is visible on your stomach where his dick imprint is visible, he lets out a breathy laugh as he slowly started to move in and out all the while still holding up your hips above the bed “look at that bunny..” he whispered as he moves your hips around his cock as if your hips is his plaything “Ngh! Haitham! oh! th-there! oh!” you throw your head back as he started to pull in and out. your mouth hangs open as your eyes rolled backward “Haitham sho ghood! sho ghoood! oh!” you moan out, He pulls out his cock almost completely before slamming back in full force, making your breast bounces according to his thrust. “look at you, ngh.. bunny.. so cute and so dumb out of your mind”

Alhaitham smirked in victory looking at your fucked out state. His thrust is consistent, making sure he almost pulls out completely before slamming back in with fierce. your mind turns blank as your saliva drips down from your chin to the bed. your mind is only filled with “haitham’s” and “cock” as you blabber out “Haitham s’good! so ghood! ah! Haitham! Haitham!” as his thrust goes faster and faster, you feel his cock getting just a bit bigger inside you. Your toes curl up as you stretch your chest upwards, with no shame in letting your breast bounce according to his tempo. The familiar tightness around your stomach became much clearer. your pussy throbbing and clenching around his cock deliciously, letting Alhaitham know you are close “You’re close bunny? hmm? you’re close?” Alhaitham teases you, right before you climax Alhaitham pulls out completely once again, making you scream. “Haitham! please, please! please let me cum!” you begged, full-on crying and sniffling as your hand tries to grab his cock. your poor state makes Alhaitham’s heart church but you have to learn your lesson “Do you want to cum bunny? are you sure? beg some more, say you’re sorry” You swallow your saliva and hiccups trying to make the most coherent words as best as you can “H-Haitham! am sorry! am Sorry! please please let me cum! please haitham ple-ahnp!” your last please is finally heard as Alhaitham thrust his cock back in, tempo faster than ever. Haitham immediately spurts out his cum after the third thrust, shooting his cum deep inside you all the while still holding your hips up, your legs are shaking as his cum triggered your climax too. Your pussy throb and squirt out a string of water as your whole body shakes “Oh! cumming cumming Haitham! ngh!” you squeal out. 

Alhaitham's chest heaves up and down as he pants. he feels his cum slowly seep out from your pussy, and he looks down to see his chest and cock wet after being splashed by your squirt. Haitham slowly puts your shaking hips down as he calms himself from his own high. “You did a great job bunny, so proud of my cute bunny” he whispered after laying down beside you. He slowly pulls your legs back together, stroking your hips to calm you down before pulling you in a hug. your shaking body and fucked out brains barely comprehend how your stomach is a little bit bulge out because of his cum deep inside of you. “Thank you bunny, shhh it's okay” Alhaitham whispers as your body shakes once in a while. Alhaitham laughs and drapes a blanket over you. “take a rest bunny, I’ll take care of the rest” Alhaitham kisses your forehead and strokes your hair gently, with love “Good job at taking your punishment bunny..” is what you heard one last time before you fell into dreamland.

[dustofthedailylife]

Roommates au.

Al Haitam who wakes up in the middle of the night to find Kaveh and yn baking cookies.

Yn is spared because his big fat crush, kaveh gets lectured.

Ohhh my gosh imagine... (this also got longer than I thought but I could stop myself from brainrotting soooo enjoy <3). And as a preface to this drabble: Flustered Alhaitham is my favorite genre fr.

"Cookies"

Alhaitham x Reader // Kaveh x Reader (Roommate AU) // Fluff Previous roommates brainrot [here] but reading it is not necessary. -> Masterlist || -> Taglist

Alhaitham is woken up by some banging and drilling sounds coming from the kitchen. Naturally, his mind wanders to Kaveh first thing. Because who else would be insane enough to cause such a ruckus at 3 am in the morning?

At first, Alhaitham pulls his pillow over his head in order to try and muffle the annoying sounds. He definitely doesn't want to sleep with his noise-canceling headphones again since he is unable to sleep on the side with them.

Eventually, he finds it too uncomfortable to press his pillow to his head and decides to get up to give Kaveh the scolding of a lifetime.

He practically tramples to the kitchen, not even putting in the effort to put a shirt on before, because of how furious he is and how much he wants the noise to stop.

"Kaveh! Have you ever considered that some people are trying to get an adequate amount of undisturbed sleep?" Alhaitham starts shouting as he walks along the hallway and turns right to enter the kitchen with balled fists and eyebrows furrowed in anger.

"You're unbelievable. What are you even-" he continues his tirade before being interrupted by someone running into him and effectively shutting him up immediately. And it was none other than you. With flour on your cheek and those innocent-looking eyes, he could fall for again and again.

"Cookies. We're baking cookies... Oh, I'm sorry, did we wake you up?" you ask innocently. Alhaitham doesn't want to say it but seeing you makes his anger dissolve into thin air. You could wake him anytime and he'd be content. Kaveh on the other hand...?

"Yes, but it's okay," he reassures you before addressing Kaveh directly. "And you; stop enabling everyone in this goddamn house to join in on your stupid ideas! Do you understand? It's 3 a.m., go to bed, for Archon's sake!"

"Wha- it wasn't even my idea!" Kaveh exclaims exasperated.

"It was actually my idea." You admit with a shrug and an awkward smile, patting Alhaitham's bare shoulder a couple of times, effectively frying his synapses. Because it wasn't until now that he realizes he is standing in front of you with his upper body entirely exposed the entire time.

Alhaitham can feel a blush beginning to bloom on his cheeks before he quickly turns around to stomp back to his room, the feeling of the touch of your hand still lingering on his exposed skin.

The last thing Alhaitham hears, before closing his door behind him once more with a loudly beating heart and a flushed face, is Kaveh's snicker and a "Quite fascinating behavior there, Acting Grand Sage."

Do not repost, copy, translate or edit - © dustofthedailylife || reblogs, comments, and asks about Genshin or my fics are always greatly appreciated and motivate me! Maple dividers are mine - do not copy.

[scuttlingcrab]

Late Night Intruders

This was inspired by @mslanna and all the amazing Raphael prompts they shared with me. I'm being cheeky and combining 2 of the prompts, as they were quite similar.

Summary: Tav thwarts an assassination attempt against Raphael during the wee hours of the morning. And from Raphael's perspective, everything is going according to plan.

(Image via certifieddilfenjoyer)

Raphael smelled the intruder skulking behind him. Naturally he enjoyed the profuse aromas humans exuded when pushed to their breaking points but this one was vile; their fear was acrid and abhorrent, soiling the otherwise immaculate ambience of his private room in Sharess’ Caress. 

Despite the distraction, he continued labouring over his current contract, taking care to add the final words to a clause he was amending for yet another poverty-stricken beggar. So hasty to exchange their souls for gold. And no wonder, the tremors in Baldur’s Gate were getting worse, sometimes occurring by the hour, the more the Elder Brain gained power. Swim tadpoles, swim; for no matter how far you sprint, you will not escape the wrath of the Illithid when judgement day arrives. 

The smell grew stronger as the stranger crept closer but then another odour broke through: a mixture of sage and damp wood. Sparks lit up in Raphael’s mind with the sudden familiarity. 

“What a pity, you’ve given yourself away, Dain…” 

Without warning, the air around Raphael turned cold. Shards of ice shattered around him, ripping through his sleeves and leaving his desk riddled with frozen fragments. He paused his writing, tightly grasping the infernal quill between his fingers. The ice around Raphael melted rapidly, creating a pool of water by his feet that began to sizzle. 

“My dear, sweet Dain… did your mother never teach you any manners?” 

Raphael slowly rose from his chair, balls of hellfire growing in his clenched fists as he prepared to incinerate Dain where he stood. 

When Raphael turned around, he instead found Tav standing in between him and Dain. A broken ice knife stuck out of her left shoulder, the arm shredded to pieces and lying limp at her side. Gashes tore through her left cheek where the weapon had ruptured, leaving her delicate facial features nearly unrecognisable.

“You?” Raphael locked eyes with Tav, quieting the flames in his hands. 

Dain gasped, his beady eyes bulging. He nearly choked on his own spit before turning to flee. Raphael snapped his fingers and the halfling froze on the spot; his fat, greedy fingers inches away from the doorknob. The fool will never see another sunrise.

“Coming by to pay me a visit, and at such a sinful hour? Why, what will your companions think?” Raphael beamed.

“Listen here, you should be grateful, otherw–” Tav stumbled, falling to her knees in discomfort. “Otherwise, there’d be a big bloody piece of ice sticking out the back of your neck.” 

“You do know devils cannot die on this plane, yes? Or have you not been heedful of a single word I’ve articulated since we first met?”

Tav looked up at Raphael with wide eyes, her pointy ears turning bright red. She immediately raised her uninjured arm, tugging at an earlobe.

While traversing the mortal realm, Raphael had grown accustomed to the odd attempted murder or two. Righteous mortals seeking redemption or the amateur killers for hire accepting contracts without proper scrutiny. His least favourite, however, and the type of vermin he encountered more as of late, were the clients who tried to grovel out of their deals. 

He always had a keen eye for which types of slimy creatures would try to deceive him, always the ones so quick to make a deal, any deal. He could have denied them everything, but where was the fun in that? He quite enjoyed the hunt, being kept on his toes; the thrill of the chase, exhilarating, no matter how brief, and in spite of knowing he’d always end up the victor.

“Oh hells... Guess I forgot that specific detail." Tav responded through a sheepish smile.

“And yet, you risked your life? When you could have remained hidden… were you going to stay quiet all night? You know, my door is always open.”

“That, I, uh, I can explain…”

Tav diverted her eyes. She tried to hide her obvious embarrassment as she pretended to examine her wound, shifting on her knees. 

Muffled moans came from Dain’s clamped mouth at the other end of the room, but Raphael’s eyes remained drawn to Tav. A pang in his chest rose like bubbling magma, on the verge of rapture, as he observed her. 

“Patience Dain, I haven’t forgotten about you.” Raphael sneered as he took a step towards Tav. She winced, clutching her arm as the ice knife began to melt. 

“I suppose thanks are in order. Perhaps a reward? I will consider this an investment to our current agreement.” 

“No rewards. I just had to make sure I could trust you.” 

“What’s not to trust about a devil, hmm? And one as charitable as I?”

Raphael was standing over Tav now, so close he could get a whiff of her perfume over the scent of lingering blood; cloves and roses enveloped his senses, a harmonious aura. Tav cried out in pain as she fell to her side, rolling onto her back to avoid the damaged limb. 

“Your deal seemed too good to be true.”

“Mhmm, but the question of why you shielded the attack still stands, little mouse.”

“I–I was worried…”

Raphael edged a little closer, hanging on her every word, his hunger growing.

“You’re… we’re allies.” 

“Indeed.” Raphael whispered, leaning back. His eyes savoured Tav’s vulnerability, cataloguing every moment for a later use. 

Yes, the contracts were all signed and tucked away in his archive, but Raphael knew more had to be done to fulfil his prophecy. There would be no loopholes. No hidden surprises that would get in the way of his destined glory. He would not lose the Crown a second time. He needed devout supporters, creatures willing to do anything to help him conquer the Hells. And he had Tav exactly where he wanted her. 

Tav writhed in a growing blood stained puddle; the ice knife had fully dissolved, allowing the gaping wound to pour freely from her shoulder.

“As much as I enjoy watching mortals bleed to death, you are ruining the carpet.”

Raphael snapped his fingers, revealing a large health potion. It floated in the air, dangling above Tav. She struggled to rise, grabbing the bottle and flopping around the floor like a fish. He merely crossed his arms and watched, his eyebrow cocked. 

After a few failed attempts, Tav finally removed the cap. She drained the potion and gasped, as if taking her very first breath. Her wounds closed in an instant, restoring her face to a more pleasing sight. 

Raphael snapped his fingers again and the blood disappeared, the red velvet carpets of his suite restored. He extended a hand down to Tav and she accepted without hesitation. He let his hand linger only for a second when Tav was back on her feet, lightly caressing his thumb over the back of her palm before he released his grip.

He proceeded to turn his back to Tav, smiling to himself, as he focused his attention on Dain. He was supremely satisfied.  

“What will you do with him?” Tav asked curiously. 

“No concern of yours. Now, please leave us… unless you’d like to wait around, perhaps there will be another attempt at my life this evening.”  

Tav stiffened and nodded, rubbing her earlobe again. She swiftly made her exit, but not without looking back at Raphael, before shutting the door. See you soon, little mouse.

“I hope you can forgive me for keeping you waiting, Dain. As you saw, I had a far more important guest to entertain.” 

Raphael excitedly rubbed his hands together, circling Dain’s paralysed body like a ravenous shark. 

“Soon you will be asking yourself why? Why was I so feebleminded? Why was I so impatient? Why didn’t I just listen? You're only as good as your word, Dain, and mine is exquisite. Now... shall we perhaps review your contract before the fun begins?”

Raphael snapped his fingers, removing Dain from his hold. Dain fell on his backside, shrieking as Raphael shed his mortal skin in a fiery rage.

[tayaalovsx]

౨ৎ|INTIMATE TIME

author here!; BASICALLY I AM A FAN OF THE INTIMATE TIME (scared of it truly) SO YES I DECIDED TO MAKE THIS! read at ur own risk

warnings!; suggestive themes, haven't written pure smut, since oh well not a fan, fan

prompt!; 'let me give you a good time, sugar'

-

Touya was never the one to seek physical affection. He hated to be touched, to touch people was okay, but not when they did it back. He was confused as to why some women liked him, truly, but he didn't mention it.

Lately this one woman, who has been part of his everyday schedule was way too irresistible. She always wore lip gloss, pink color. He could taste the strawberries on his tongue. Her hair was blondish to brown, very silk. It was clear she took care of herself, judging by how perfectly her body proportions were.

Her tights, they were big, just how he would like it. When she stood up they would lightly move as her butt swayed side to side. She had the perfect cat walk, and her posture was the most amazing thing on her. The way her arms, were not thin, but not and fat. She was perfect, tick and so very beautiful.

The tattoo on her chest always made an excuse for him to take a look of her breasts. She had noticed him, as every woman would and called him a creep but he didn't care. It made her even more attractive.

One day, everyone were off with their day. Touya, was ready to go on with his day per usual, but what caught his eyes, was the fact she has not moved an inch from the shared bar, sitting, her legs crossed over one another, as she chewed a gum, creating a bubble from time to time.

"Got nothing to do?" he asked her, making the girl turn to him. All this time she has seen him as a very...unsane person. He wasn't a man who should be trusted and she knew it. To answer his question was a very easy task, yet she took it under big thinking

"Not really, what about you burned guy? Got any other sages to throw out?" She asked right back shutting off her phone turning her attention right on him. Her words should have made him to snap at her, comment worse on her own appearance but he didn't.

"Very funny. But no, I really don't have anything to do" It was a lie. Lying through his teeth, Touya seated himself beside her. She only raised her eye brow, before letting out a scoff

"Yeah sure, and I am Santa Claus" she mumbled annoyed, before opening her phone again. By the lack of attention, Touya frowned, his eye brows scrunching up as he just narrowed his eyes at her.

"You look like him" he let the words slip from his lips. Her eyes shot to him and she put down her phone.

"What did you say to me, burned chicken? Did you breathe more marijuana then usual?" She snapped at him, her words sharp. She meant them, and it was not going to be a surprise for Touya to get offended. But he didn't instead he leaned on to his palm and looked at her in somekind love stuck stare

"I love it when you insult people. You look so sexy" he said simply, a small grin on his face. That left her stunned as she stood still for a moment debating as to where to turn this conversation to.

"Sexy? Are you hearing yourself?" She asked in disbelief. He only chuckled and moved closer to her, making the woman in front of him to take a little turn back. He only clicked his tongue and got off the chair, spinning her own, so that she could face him

"Listen, sugar. I have been craving you. For your body, for your personality, for you. I want you, to get with me, back to my room, and scream my name. Screw the relationship beforehand, I want you" He spoke his voice serious, yet filled with mischief.

She stood stunned her words caught in her throat as she didn't know how to react. He only hummed and held her waist as he pulled her over his shoulder. Putting his hand on the end of her butt he patted it lightly, feeling her wiggle

"Let me go! I never agreed!"

"You didn't disagree" he shot back and carried her off to his room. "Let me show you a good time, sugar"

"Fuck you!"

"In a minute"

𝜗𝜚! lover girl xoxo

[mylovelylittleobsessions]

Who Let the Wargs Out?

A Rings of Power one-shot

For @crookedmouth-mountainbones , who requested Adar with the wargs. Enjoy!

The fragrance of sage blossoms floated around him as he laid in the grass, the gentle warmth of the new sun brushing against his closed eyelids like a lover’s kiss. He was just so blissfully content, drowsing near the murmuring river. A warm weight settled next to him, welcome and comforting. Had he the strength to open his heavy eyes, the face of his companion would be but a lovely blur, the years having washed away the memory of its owner. For now, though, he was at peace with the closeness he felt towards this other, who oh-so-tenderly nuzzled his cheek and—

Started licking his face? The hell?

Adar pried one eye open and was greeted by one of the camp wargs shoving her tongue in his ear and another flopping onto his legs.

Adar gave a disgusted groan. “I can wash my own face, thank you.” He tried to shove the warg off, and was rewarded with drool going up his nose thanks to another lick.

Truly a wonderful thing to wake up to, surpassed only by having Sauron snore directly in his ear, sounding for all the world like a dragon with a headcold.

He managed to sit up and have a look at the pair of wargs, who were now wagging their massive tails emphatically. Adar gave them an unimpressed glare.

“You know,” he drawled, “I can’t feed you if I’m pinned down, can I?”

The wargs gave rumbling barks in response.

He sighed, then hoisted the second warg off of his legs. “Alright, move, you giant sacks of hair!” He groused good-naturedly. The pair trotted out while he threw on his boots. As he stalked out of the tent, he heard the soft sound of laughter. Looking over, he saw one of his adolescent children stifling their giggles.

“Yes, laugh it up, little one. Next time, I’m sticking them in your tent!”

_________

Adar sat at the camp smithy, quietly sharpening one of his extra daggers. He’d seen to the work assignments, handled disputes between his children (though one pair could easily solve their constant problems by finding a quiet corner someplace and making out for a while), and even managed to fit in some time to teach weapons training to the newest guards.

The rasp of the blade against the whetstone soothed the itch at the back of his mind like nothing else. He’d often take it upon himself to add a fresh edge to the pile of blades not yet finished, to the point where the blacksmiths would leave extra set aside just for him, since they saw how he enjoyed it. Such thoughtful children he had!

He was taken out of his reverie by a warm weight suddenly landing on the top of his feet. He looked down, and there was one of the wargs, holding a leg bone in his mouth and tilting his head quizzically.

“…can I help you?”

The warg set the bone at his feet, licking it pitifully and whining.

“Oh, don’t give me that!” He sighed. “You had a full breakfast, swiped one of Ogga’s soup bones, and you still want handouts?”

The warg rolled over onto his back, pawing the air with louder whines.

“Do I look like I have ‘gullible’ branded on my forehead?”

The saddest howl echoed through the smithy.

Adar rolled his eyes and put his dagger away. “Fine, fine, you big baby!” He groaned.

The warg rolled off his feet with a happy bark and a wagging tail that knocked a shield off a nearby table.

“…if Ogga smacks me with a ladle, I’m blaming you.”

(Ogga tried; Adar ducked.)

Later, full of kitchen scraps, the warg sat contentedly while Adar brushed out his fur.

“I swear,” Adar quipped, “no one is going to look at you and say, ‘look at that poor, starving warg!’. Oh, no, they’re going to look at you and say, ‘how did those Uruk manage to tame a wild boar?’. Because that’s what you are.” He put down the brush and took the massive warg muzzle in both his hands. “A fat wild boar; yes, you are!”

The warg responded to the attention by licking Adar’s face.

“Yes, right when my mouth was open. Thank you for that.”

_________

“Adar! Adar! Lookit!”

Adar hopped down from the roof he was thatching when he heard his child call. Running up the road was Gnoth, a youth of fifteen winters from the Ash clan. His family had joined Adar’s cause a century prior, and knit into the other clans like they’d been there since the beginning. It warmed his heart to see them adjust so well. Trotting behind him at a good clip was a scruffy warg with floppy ears.

“Look, Adar, I trained RanRan!”

Ah; RanRan. Affectionately known as “Eru’s Specialest Creature”, less affectionately known as “the stupidest warg ever to walk Middle Earth”. The running joke was that, on the day of his birth, RanRan’s face struck the ground with such force that the crater he left behind could be swum in when filled with rainwater. This apparently did nothing but make him sit up, sneeze, and go toddle off for his littermates. RanRan stared at him now, panting and slightly cross-eyed, tongue lolling out of his mouth in an approximation of a smile.

“You… you trained him.”

Gnoth nodded excitedly. “I did, Adar! Watch!” He faced RanRan and pointed. “RanRan, sit!”

RanRan obeyed the command by flopping face-first into the dirt with his front legs splayed beneath him and his back legs planted firmly where he’d been standing before.

Adar bit into a knuckle on his gauntlet to keep from laughing. “Gnoth…”

“No, no, wait! He can do this! RanRan, roll over!”

RanRan rolled onto one shoulder and raised a paw in the air.

The laughter became harder to keep in. “Son, it’s alright…”

“Hang on! I know he can do this one! RanRan, nampat!”

At this command, RanRan proceeded to lift his tail and let out a rather impressive fart.

Adar pressed his face into his hands. “Gnoth,” he asked, voice muffled in his palms, “did you teach him that one on purpose?”

Gnoth scuffed a foot in the dirt. “…yeah, kind of.”

Adar tossed his hands in the air, turned on his heel, and walked away with a sigh. He wasn’t dealing with this.

From behind him, he heard Gnoth yell, “UGH! RanRan, that stinks! What did you eat?!”

That was the other reason he was walking away.

_________

Long after dinner, when the rest of the camp was settling down, Adar lounged in his nest of blankets, reading from a pilfered Elven book. Yes, he’d read this one before, but he did so love a good romance. It was just getting to his favorite part, where the dashing pirate captain was to share a passionate kiss (and more) with his beloved in a hammock of nets.

The front of his tent fluttered open, and he looked up. His children were not so rude that they would not announce themselves before coming in, so who—

A snuffling lump the size of a large cat was dropped onto his lap. He looked down to see a warg pup trying to stand and crawl up his belly. He tilted his head over to see the mother warg sitting at his feet, looking pleased with herself.

“Is it visiting time, my lady?” He asked with a raised eyebrow. The warg responded by climbing into his nest and laying across his legs.

“What is it with you and yours that you all try to keep me from walking?” He huffed a laugh and set his book down. He scooped up the pup and settled it on his ribs, stroking its soft, thick fur. The pup snuffled at him, enjoying the attention, before shutting its eyes and immediately going to sleep.

“Would that our enemies could be so easily dealt with.” He quipped. The mother snorted as if she understood, rumbling quietly at his feet. She was quite warm, and the weight of her on his legs wasn’t unpleasant. Still, he’d have to move her soon enough.

In a few minutes.

(Those few minutes never came, as Adar soon drifted off to sleep, still stroking the warg pup.)

[lefarte]

omg hiiiiiiiiiii fellow funger connoisseur[leans on my bugatti, misses completely and falls into a bed to cash] ;]

anyway, may i ask for a moment of respite with August during termina? just a lil break in the bacchanalia. a moment of normalcy, like dinner 🙏

Yall,,,,,, I want that old man cannibal

Brown trout in the Vlata river are good and fat, but very fishy, so they go best with salt and herbs. An oven is the best, but in a pinch a spit will do just fine. You never knew a man could gut a fish so elegantly. August can use a knife like a fine instrument, and can keep a fire roaring even in the damp season. He splits it open, takes out the guts (“Would you like me to take the head off for you too, my dear?”) and uncerimoniously dumps them in the river. It goes up over the fire, he puts yarrow on it and something called “Česnek medvědí”.

“Are you trying to impress me?”

“No, no,” He chuckles. “I am just an old man with a hobby. That’s all.”

The fire is at a low purr like a cat. The sun has long since set. This part of the woods was unnaturally chilly, even compared to the city. You had been wandering westward for no particular reason and then got caught spinning around in circles. You survived three or four hours of this monotony by snacking on raw mushrooms (one of which gave you a tummy ache), until you saw a manmade knife slash on the side of a tree. You followed, and found another. You kept following, and here you are.

“What other hobbies do you have?” You ask. “Is that bow a hobby too?”

“It’s my occupation.” He pats the quiver on his hip. “I’m a… hunter by trade.”

You tilt your head. “Oh. There’s not many of those anymore.”

“Eh, no. But I do it because I love it.” He smiles.

He takes out a bottle of vodka and offers you a sip. It smells strongly. You shake your head. He gives you a shrug and takes a shot.

“I also saw you jumping from buildings.”

He nods sagely. “Did you like it?”

“…oh, so you are trying to impress me now…”

He has a nice deep chuckle that sounds pleasant to the ears. “The fish is done.”

You were borderline ravenous from the smell, so you perked up instantly. He cut you the most tender pieces, and ate the head and tail himself. You two ate with your hands, for lack of silverware. He seemed to watch you eat with fondness, even though your hair was ratty and your face tired.

He suddenly reaches out his hand. You flinch from the unexpected contact, but he makes a noise that’s almost… cooing at you.

“You have something on your face.” He takes his handkerchief up to your mouth, and dabs your lips gently. “I’m not supposed to be so fond of you, you know. I have a job to do. But you are so… cute.”

You lean into the warm touch. Afterwards, he sets the handkerchief in your hand. It is soft and embroidered with his name. “A memento.”

“I will have to go by the morning.” He says, quite suddenly. “You will probably never see me again.”

Your heart sinks. You don’t want to be alone in the deep woods, freezing and with an awful dry autumn wind. You don’t know how to get back to the city. You don’t want to. You’ve been chased, hungry, and beaten half to death all within the span of one day. It felt like you were here for years. It felt like you would be here for centuries more. You like the fire. It’s good and warm.

“I don’t want to,” You ball up your fists without even noticing. “It’s… cold.”

“I know, my dear.” He sighs. He wraps his big hands around you in a side hug. You realize just how big he is. His hands are calloused. Under the dinner jacket, he is muscular. “There’s quite a chill.”

He puts half of his jacket around you, so you’re sharing heat. You feel heat for the first time in a while, with warm food in your tummy and a bit of a blush.

“I’m a bit drunk,” he admits. “So I’ll just ask outright. I suppose you’re probably not used to sleeping on the grass, so you don’t suppose we could… cuddle up a bit. We wouldn’t want you catching a cold, now.”

You hesitate.

“You don’t have to say yes. If I’m being pushy, I apologize.”

“No, no, I’m just.. happy.”

He grins. “Good. That’s good.”

He lays down and sets his arm out, so you can use him as a pillow. He’s so gentle with you. He gives you a headpat before sleep. The night is still. You feel calm, good and calm, and your muscles relax. It’s good, it’s great even. He doesn’t snore, you hardly know if he slept at all. It’s not too long before you fall asleep. And as he said, in the morning, he was gone.

[dorothygale123]

Question:

Where the heck is Ao Lie?

Like, I can understand the other Pilgrims dying. Tripitaka is human, and Baije and Wujing were former celestial warriors cast out from heaven and a mortal life span could have been part of their punishment (or not... *looks at Sandy suspiciously*). But Ao Lie? He's an immortal dragon, direct descendent of one of the 4 great Dragon Kings and a badass in his own right. Why is he not in the show proper? I might have an answer, and it involves Mei.

See, despite being part of the Dragon Clan, Mei and her parents are oddly... human. Like, she still has cool dragon powers from the start, but they seem to have mortal lifespans. For example, Mei calls Ao Lie her great-great-great-times-a-thousand-great-grandfather, but that wouldn't make any sense if she were a full blooded dragon. Dragons, while depicted as different than demons and celestials, are implied to have similarly long lives as evidenced by Ao Guang, who Wukong knows from at least 1,000 years ago, if not more.

Mei's branch of the family, however, can't be more than 700 years old because she inherited the Samadhi Fire from her ancestor. He was not a host for the fourth ring until after the ritual, so he must have married/had children after that. As I stated in my last post, that can't have happened too much more than 500-700 years ago considering Red Son's age. Considering that timeframe and how long dragons probably live, if Mei were a full blooded dragon she should be Ao Lie's daughter, or maybe granddaughter. So she has to be at least partly, if not mostly, human.

Now, here's a question: do you think Ao Run, a Dragon King, would have approved of his son settling down with some human woman? Do you think he might have, oh I don't know, forbade his son from seeing her? Do you think Ao Lie listened?

My answers are yes, yes, and a big fat no.

My theory is that Ao Lie was punished for getting in a relationship with a human woman in defiance of his father, but quietly, so that no celestial monkeys come in to try and help their bestie. And in order to keep the Great Sage Equal to Heaven from asking to many questions about where his sworn brother has gotten to, they come up with a lie that Wukong won't think too much about. Perhaps he got sick and died, or maybe he ascended and is doing Very Important Things for a Buddha or Bodhisattva. No matter what, he's not coming back and can't see his friend ever again.

That still leaves his wife, now a very single mother. Moang or Longnu could have intercede and convinced their father not to do anything to her and their brother's child, but not welcome them into the clan either. Maybe Ao Lie even took the punishment under the condition that his family wouldn't be harmed, but they were also banned from asking a certain monkey for any help. Thus, Mei's branch of the Dragon Clan spread into the human world and prospered because they were part dragon after all, but not really welcome in Ao Run's court either. This would explain why her part of the family seems a bit separated from the rest of the clan. Ao Guang, for instance, didn't know about her at all, despite her being his brother's great-something-granddaughter. You could chalk that up to him not keeping track of every member of a very large clan, but it could also be that his brother tried to keep his son's 'shame' a secret.

This theory probably isn't cannon, but damn if it isn't a good tragic love story!!! It also holds the possibility of Ao Lie escaping his punishment and coming back....

[blazehedgehog]

Okay so you've apologized for choosing the wrong words over the SAGE 2024 showcase trailer, but doesn't that mean that somewhere inside you still think parts of what you said are true? You still came to those conclusions one way or another.

Yes and no.

I would like to open this saying I used to be known as a pretty harsh critic when I started writing about SAGE for TSSZ News. I hurt a lot of feelings but I always had a logic behind what I was saying. Ultimately I figured I was judging people by standards they didn't deserve, and I kind of softened my view.

By that I mean I was judging fangames against more professional standards, and then I realized these were just hobbyists having fun and didn't deserve to be raked over the coals like that. After all, a game you pay for and a game you download for free create two very different expectations.

So I'm going to single someone out here and I'm sorry in advance for doing this, but I saw Sonic Test Labs in the SAGE 2024 showcase video. They've removed Sonic and replaced it with an original character -- a furry wolf wearing jeans, I believe. (It's a rat)

Now, I'm not out here to insult somebody's OC or even their fursona. Something I've been trying to remind people in slamming on the brakes of all of this SAGE hot water over on Twitter is that I think anybody should make anything and be proud of that. I literally just put out a Shadow Generations video 2-3 months ago where I have a long montage of fanart I drew of my Sonic OC, as I talk at length about not running from your past and embracing who you used to be, even if it was cringe. I am not here to tell anyone to stop making things.

But, like, the 90's were full of "mascots with attitude" and really only one or two stuck around, and the most prominent example is Sonic the Hedgehog. Most of these furries were lucky to get a single sequel and then they disappeared off the face of the planet, some only resurfacing ironically.

Sonic the Hedgehog, just as a character design, is kind of a one-in-a-million shot. To be so simple and so iconic and so appealing to so many people... the epitome of lightning in a bottle.

And the indie game space is a very different place than it was when a lot of people were pitching Sabrina to ditch "Lilac the Hedgehog" and make Freedom Planet into an original game she could sell, you know?

So when I see Sonic Test Labs and it's got a new name, it's dropping the Sonic connection and it's starring a fursona it's like, good for you, all the power in the world to you, I hope you succeed, but also, at this point... is this going to be worth the change? I guess I'm not the developer of what is now "Wick3r: Tricks, Keys & Speed", so I can't answer that. They have a lot of talent, though, and Sonic Test Labs was a standout game for me last year, so we'll see.

I am coming at this from my own perspective as a game developer, and I've hit a pretty big streak of bad luck as of late, I feel. I have no more time for the sort of game development I really want to do and I haven't released anything meaningful in years. The last few things I did release, I'm not really proud of anymore.

Let's take OverBite. I genuinely wanted to make OverBite into a real game. I was making steps towards that. Then my whole life got turned upside down, I lost my motivation, and I got caught up in the Youtube game.

The further I get from OverBite, the more I see its flaws. It was a Game Jam game. Most of its levels were constructed in about five hours. I have a fat design document full of too many ideas for the final game that need to be re-thought, paired down and streamlined.

I can't do any of that. I have absolutely no faith that a current version of OverBite would sell anything even remotely meaningfully for me to be worth the time I'd put into expanding (or even outright rewriting) its code, polishing up its visuals, implementing new mechanics, new levels, bosses, etc. That means spending years effectively wasting time I could be spending on my Youtube channel, where my hard work is more directly rewarded.

And it kills me. It makes me want to cry. But there's a cold part of me that says, "Get over it. You can't have your cake and eat it too. You can't do everything. Pick a lane and build that up, you can't be so scattershot anymore."

But I have so many game ideas, and more keep piling up. And even if I tell myself I can't be so scattershot anymore, I still end up working on some of them anyway. Because my heart wants to make video games and my brain says it's not worth it anymore. The market is too crowded, the investment is too large, the gains are too small.

If I put my full weight behind my Youtube channel, I make thousands of dollars a year. Not even five figure numbers, but a non-trivial amount. For Overbite, I made just over a hundred bucks, and most of that was begging for people to help cover the Steam Greenlight fee.

Or, let's say, "Better Bubsy." That Bubsy joke game that stopped being ironic and started being earnest. I work on it for a few weeks every April for the last four or five years. It got to the point where some respected people I know were saying I should pitch it to whoever owned the Bubsy IP. Which at the time was UFO Entertainment. Eventually that changes hands when Atari buys the Bubsy IP from UFO, and the CEO of Atari is out there making an open call for indie devs to submit a Bubsy pitch. This is my chance. Better Bubsy could be a real thing!

I even speak to someone who works directly at Atari! I don't even have to drop it in their pitch inbox! It's getting personally sent up the chain!!!

...

Atari and Limited Run announce a Bubsy remaster pack where they are making their own "select improvements" to the old games. That is effectively confirmation that they did not care about what I was selling. More time wasted.

Forgive me if I'm not very warm to certain ideas right now and I have a cynical, bitter heart towards certain aspects of game development. I am personally in a very conflicted place right now, and it came out in the wrong ways towards people who did not deserve it.

(For those of you who don't know what this is about, this, this, and this twitter thread should clear things up.)

[flannelepicurean]

Redneck Raditz: The Locals

There are so many OCs in this it's just a whole entire goddamn Situation, but you literally cannot write about somebody moving into a Southern town without there being a fuckin' town. Anyway, here are some of the most well-developed peeps:

Debra (Miss Debra) is the diner waitress. Yes, there are other waitresses at the diner. But she is THE diner waitress. Nothing fazes her, and she is very sweet, but you better bring your manners. She doesn't really get mad, but you will feel ashamed of yourself in the worst way if you disappoint Miss Debra with your behavior. She's got that classic Southern hospitality that's actually genuine, and she will not steer you wrong on a menu recommendation. She's from the same manufactory that spun out Dolly Parton, but she's not as glamorous on the outside. She and Miss Dolly would get along great, though, and Dolly would recognize a kindred soul.

"The Guys" consist of Wayne, Kevin, Ryan, and Derrick. They're the crew Raditz hangs out with when he's not working at the hardware store or haunting the diner. They smoke weed and play Playstation and do other hanging-out type shit, and they're still friends with Raditz even though his ass be cheatin' at Tekken.

Wayne is a real chunky guy who doesn't wear enough sunscreen even though he really should, and gets that "sun-bleached blonde, sunburnt edges" look in the 71% of the year that's pretty damn warm. Favors flannel shirts (lighter fabric, unbuttoned, ripped-off sleeves over a white tee or a tank in the warmer months) trucker hats with truck-related stuff on 'em. He's got the thickest accent, or at least the most animated one (there's a difference). Tends to talk at a spirited canter. He's frequently the first moral compass of the group, and tries to get Kevin to act like he's got some goddamn sense. Wayne will get vocal about when someone "ought not to've done that," if they're acting like a real asshole, even if he's not physically enforcing it.

Kevin is a Cory, of Cory and Trevor, of Trailer Park Boys, type of guy. 😂 Basically the same edition of dude, but not a physical copy. He's a little low-key on his energy, but extremely goofy, and often off-target on shit. He lives in sweatpants and jerseys and mildly obnoxious tee shirts and hoodies. Not a full-time hat wearer, but will put on an Adidas logo snapback every now and again.

Ryan is a mechanic. He's not terribly tall, and pretty wiry, but he has a presence. His hands are always a little grungy-looking, and his nails are always kinda black under the edges. His eyes are a little deep-set, and light green, and his hair and his sorta-whatever mustache situation are that kind of easily-overlooked light brown that like...wild rabbits have in their coats. He hangs out in his shop shirts and jeans and boots and that baseball cap that's kinda ???-colored because he's worn it at the shop for so many years. Ryan doesn't say much. But when he does, it's to the point. Ryan is a sage.

Derrick is "Derrick With the Truck." Not that nobody else has a truck; there are a LOT of trucks around. Derrick has a Truck, one of those pickup trucks with the fat ass and the extra tires and a big enough truckbed that all of The Guys, and Raditz, and maybe a couple other people, can get down to someplace to have a good time, and they can guaranteed lay Raditz's drunk ass in the back and still have room to drive everybody home after. Derrick is a Black guy with some height and some heft on him. He wears jeans a lot, but he goes for a little nicer shirts than the other guys. Short-sleeved button-downs in the warmer months; V-neck sweater with a white tee or a casual button-down under it in the cooler months. Derrick also doesn't say much, but he's got a sense of humor. He's a practical guy, and he likes to be helpful, but he's got good boundaries.

There are some other folks who fill out the roster in this thing, but I don't have as much about them yet. :)

[hermithomebase]

YES!!!! HASHTAG GEORGE NOT FOUND HAS A BIG FAT ASS!!! —SAGE

MY GOLOVE BROTHER WE STAND STRONG 💪

[frankensteins-mt-dew]

*kicking you in the pants about the vampire found family*

Tried to write while on a break at work, turned into feverishly trying to figure out the main characters middle name( which has absolutely no bearong on a the plot .... At the moment)

And since it's been like, a while since you asked for it, I decided just to give you the full first scene

(Under the cut so it doesn't take up all of your feed 😊)

"Alright, Dan. Pancakes or waffles?"

"oh, we're starting out of order, are we?" Dan asked, hands resting on the wheel. The classic cadillac was the only car on the desert road in middle of nowhere california, headlights illuminating the old, worn asphalt. "still pancakes."

" Pancakes for me too." Ruby sat crossed legged in the passenger seat with an old notebook page in one hand and a large drink from Fallon's Family Diner in the other. She was looking at herself in the rear view mirror. Long brown hair in a messy bun, makeup she had done half a night ago still basically perfect. Her olive skin was a shade or two lighter than she'd like, but there wasn't anything she could do about that. She ran a manicured nail down the list. " ice cream flavor?"

"oh, superman. Forever and always." Dan tapped his hands on the wheel in excitement. Time might have frozen him and his wife in their forties, with his salt and pepper hair(mostly salt in his beard) and smile lines to prove it, but it let him keep his childlike wonder."And you are still a butterscotch girl, right?"

Ruby grimaced. "No im sorry."

Dan frowned."Wait, what?"

"yeah, its triple chocolate."

"Since when?"

"Since we had it at the carnival a while back. "

"Ok, ok, im gonna need more context. do you know how many carnivals and state fairs we've been to in our life? In our unlife?"

"The perfect amount. And this--" she shook the paper in his face. "Is why we do the list!!"

"Alright alright." Dan gave up. "favorite blood type is still o neg, right?"

"yes! i dont know what it is but its so good!"

" it is!!"

"Ok my turn." Ruby adjusted herself in the seat to better look at her husband. "Would you have kept reading that book if you knew I wasn't interested in you?'

Dan about slammed on the breaks."woah, that one is NOT on the list!"

"I know, but I wanna know!" She laughed. "Its been almost 80 years, I think I should get to know"

"Have I really never told you?"

"no!!!"

"You sure?"she flicked the straw wrapper at him. "Ok, ok." Dan paused a moment, just looking at his wife out of the corner of his eye. " I mean, you're the only one for me, Angel"

Ruby rolled her eyes. "Oh yes, quote your vows to deflect. It's worked SO well in the past."

"I mean, it's true."

She laughed, and rested her head on the window, smiling.

The sun had gone down but there was still a enough light to see. The endless sage and sand blurred at this speed and reminded Ruby more of the ocean.

"Ok , but how long have you loved triple chocolate ice cream?"

"Three years."

"was that the oklahoma state fair? Or the rodeo in Texas?"

She didn't hear the question as she noticed something hiding in the sagebrush. Something big, something that shouldn't be.

"Stop the car"

Dan instinctually listened to his wife, pulled to the side and came to a stop." What's wrong?"

Ruby didn't answer as she unbuckled and opened the door, looking behind them.

It was a stupid idea. A foolish intuition. But she couldnt shake the feeling. She started jogging through the brush.

"Angel, what are you doing?" Dan asked, staying by the car.

" I saw something." She called back. "I swear I did."

Ruby hoped she was wrong, hoped this little... gift, you could call it, was wrong. She had had it since before they had turned, maybe it was out of tune.

But when she came up to it, she knew she was right.

"What do you see, Babes?"

It was a kid. She couldn't be older than four. Still had the baby fat in her face and bright red hair created a wild halo around her head. Tears streaked her face and clothes. Pink t shirt and purple leggings, but no shoes.

Oh, that would not do.

Her feet were scraped and dirty and bleeding a little. A new feeling crept up, reminding her that she hasn't fed the monster within in a few days

Ruby swallowed hard and ignored the instinct. She stepped a little closer to the girl and crouched down.

"Hi." She said sweetly." Are you ok? What are you doing out here."

The girl didn't answer, but she didn't shy away either. She just looked up at her.

"you got anywhere to go,kiddo?" She shook her head. "Do you want to come with us?"

The girl tilted her head, as if thinking about it, then nodded.

Ruby scooped her up and started waking back to the car. It took Dan a moment to notice.

"Is that a kid?"

"Yeah."

"Is she coming with us?"

"yeah."

Dan paused, trying to take in the information. "Wait, Ruby, are you serious?"

"Absolutely." She said she got into the car.

"No way." Dan said, getting back in his own seat. the kid suddenly seemed eager to explore, and Ruby let her climb into the back. "She's gotta belong to someone at a campsite, and they're probably looking for her."

"There's no one for miles! And the wildlife is gonna start coming out, if we don't do something she's gonna get more hurt."

Dan had also sensed the cuts on her feet and forced his intuition to shut the hell up. " Ruby, she's little and cute and helpless. I get it." He placed a hand on his wife's shoulder." I love you, but this is the kind of stuff we get on the news for."

"I'm not going to just leave her! Look, I'll compromise and we can call the cops in the next town. See if anyone is missing her. But we're not gonna get on the news for just helping out a...kid"

She looked in the back where she had left the little girl. But what they now found, was a dog. No, a wolf pup. A little bigger than she would think, with brown and grey fur and a bushy tail. Her head was in the to go bag from Fallon's scavenging the fries that had been left behind. When she pulled her head out and noticed the strangers looking at her, she quickly shifted back into human form and began crying.

"oh, no,no it's ok!" Ruby said and picked her back up. " Hey, it's gonna be ok." Ruby said. With a grin, she shifted her own forma but. Her usually hazel eyes became blood red and her top teeth sharpend into fangs. The girl gasped softly, then looked in awe at her.

"I think you're one of us, sweetie." Dan said, also shifting into his vampiric form.

The girl smiled and rested her head on Ruby as Dan began driving.

"we don't have a car seat for her." Dan said eventually.

"Then drive slowly" Ruby said, rubbing the girls back.

"Or a leash."

"Drive. Slow."

[saulweissberg]

“ah, yes, that explains it.” saul gave a sage nod. “i’m a hero to the wild children of america. i should teach etiquette classes, honestly.” he was just joking, but he did know a bit more about high society rules than most people in blue harbor. he grew up with the blue bloods of connecticut and spent his adult life attending various galas and charity benefits that were the rich people equivalent of getting a drink at the local pub with a friend. his upbringing was much different than phoebe’s, at least what he could assume from the way she spoke about her past and how the rumor mill of blue harbor was never shy to let newcomers know who the bad families in town were. 

he was used to having more money than his friends, though, so that never bothered him; most of his wives had middle-class backgrounds, and he had taken great enjoyment in showing them how the other half lived. he enjoyed spending any amount of money on his friends, and he never wanted anyone to worry about covering the bill when he was around. after all, he used his money effectively for quite a while with micah; buying him whatever video game he asked for or taking him to any movie he wanted to see, regardless of parental warnings or if they had terry's permission—micah was his son, too, damn it. so if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it… except his relationship with his son was absolutely broken, but still. like flattery, money opened doors that were closed to others and held wide open for saul to dance on through.

the topic of seb and cj’s marriage seemed like it was going to be waved away with a line that definitely sounded forced, like a child reciting a line in a school play, but phoebe apparently couldn’t hold her tongue. his brow quirked at that, head tilting sideways. “you’re right. someone’s always going to end up hurt at some point in every relationship, but like you said, they’re adults. no one can make them do anything they don’t want to do, and until they decide they want to end their marriage, you just have to let them be. besides, benefits come with marriage. like a tax break.” saul privately snickered at the thought that cj and seb probably didn’t even know that, something so adult and boring would probably make their eyes glaze over. he liked cj, though, really. he had something in common with him, too: “you know, my first marriage was an elopement. we weren’t drunk in vegas or anything, we just loved each other enough to think we would always be in love.” saul looked down at his plate, frowning. “it was just what you were supposed to do. get married, have kids. that’s how you were supposed to become an adult.” he brought his gaze back up to phoebe. “don’t do anything that society tells you to do unless you actually want to do it, okay?” there, some more unsolicited advice.

he shrugged at her question. “i think that’s a pretty normal mom thing. she loved frankie valli but no one would ever compare to her true love, richard chamberlain—they called him the king of the miniseries when i was a kid. she was obsessed with the thorn birds. no one knew he was gay until, like, twenty years ago, though.” he doubted phoebe even knew of the actor or his acting credits, but he figured she’d be happy to know her mother wasn’t an anomaly in that sense. “george clooney was a big deal back then, though. i never really had time to watch er but i thought anthony edwards was cuter. more my type.” was there any resemblance between dr. mark greene and a certain surly bartender? the height, maybe… “who's your celebrity crush then?” he asked, ignoring the explanation on kim’s surprise birthday party.

her defense of his cat’s stomach made him laugh, head thrown back. “i reserve the right to call his tummy fat and stupid when he eats fucking buttons.” and hair ties, but that hadn’t been a problem since thalia moved out. he scrunched his face up in thought. “well, have you tried trimming her nails? you’ll probably have to get a vet to do it but it will help it from hurting so much. you could try nail caps, too.” saul figured these were solutions she probably already thought of, but he tried anyway. “speaking of cats, though… i’m going back to manhattan for a few days soon. usually, i’d ask you to look over them, but my son is in town for the summer and he’s going to keep an eye on them.” saul gave her a small frown. phoebe always took excellent care of his cats whenever he had to leave town, but he was sure micah would never forgive him if he asked someone else to watch them instead of him. “maybe he’d let you come over and visit them?” 

Age. Sure, Phoebe could buy that excuse. Feeling young was much easier than feeling poor, after all, which was something she was struggling to cope with as of late despite it being a burden she carried her entire life. It had baffled Seb upon him discovering the tax brackets of the people she had began to become affiliated with, that Phoebe wasn't milking her troubled childhood in Weaver Ridge and taking every handout bestowed upon her. But Phoebe had to remind him what morals were during that conversation, and that she didn't spend time with the likes of Nilay or Saul to get money or freebies, but because she genuinely enjoyed their company. And provided her a safe space and parental attention that only neglected children would seek out. "See, wild children like me don't know about pancake buying etiquette, it's why I keep you around, to teach me these things." She teased, deciding it was all easier to make it out like it was all some sort of joke.

Taken aback at the question, Phoebe raised an eyebrow at Saul's curiosity of her opinion on the marriage of Seb and CJ. She couldn't imagine that the latter was an easy client (as she liked to say, easy on the eyes, an absolute headache to talk to), and if Saul had had the displeasure of meeting her childhood friend, he certainly was a stronger man than she assumed if he wasn't a little bit unnerved by Seb's overall personality. "Seb and CJ are both adults who are free to make their own choices." Came out her rehearsed reply, a little mantra her and Foster had been working on drilling into her whenever the two did something stupid and she had to fight against her nature to clean up the inevitable mess it would make. "That said," Because even if there was nothing she could do about it all, she still had an opinion, "What I think they did was dumb, irresponsible and considering how they spend their time socially, someone is going to end up heartbroken over it all." Her money was on Seb's heart, unfortunately. "But, even if there was some hypothetical law where you could force people to legally separate, those two would find a way to avoid it. So I'm trying to keep my side of the street clean."

She scoffed at his final insistence that Cats was worth it, but let out a resigned sigh. "Fine, agree to disagree. I like Grease, I hope the community theater group do that one again. Do all moms have a male celebrity they're obsessed with then? My mom's is George Clooney but, I never knew if it was a mom thing or just a my mom thing." Because Lisa Yates was an unhinged, obsessive woman, so it was hard to decipher what and what wasn't normal behaviour amongst parents.

"Oh, yeah, she rented out a whole private island. I think it was when she was, uh, still married to Kanye. Apparently it was a surprise." Which she didn't buy for a second. But regardless, there would be no private island or even a private event at the nicest function room in town, but she supposed Saul would have to feel what it'd be like to lose even just once.

"Hey! Smokey and his tummy aren't stupid or fat!" She declared with a frown, willing to defend Saul's cats to the death, if need be. "Misty just...scratches a lot. Like, my arms are her favorite scratching post and Foster's ankles are constantly cut into ribbons. But, it's not even like she's playing with us, it's like she's on the defense or something. He thinks it'll be better when we spay her, but like...we adopted her so I don't know what her life was like before the rescue found her. Is cat therapy too much?" Not that she could necessarily afford it.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Hey gallus! It's getting quite chilly in ye Midwestern states, and my soul is craving soup. However, I never seem to feel full after eating soup, or I will feel full and then a couple hours later be hungry again. That, or my soups don't turn out well, and then I don't want to eat them. Any advice, or fool proof recipes?

...You probably need more fiber. My own appetite is massively reduced from the meds I'm on, and I've never been much of a Soup Person, but one I've always found filling is Butternut Bacon Soup.

You Will Need:

Functioning Oven And Stovetop Big fucking Pot Blender/immersion blender/Hand Mixer/eggbeater etc. Anything to turn food into a fine paste with. Roasting Pan or Baking Sheet Big fucking knife and cutting board Cheese Grater

Recipie:

1 Bigass Butternut Squash. Go ahead and get this pre-cubed because cutting up a properly hardened squash is A Chore. Garlic. IDK you measure that shit with your heart. at least 6 strips of bacon but LBR there isn't a thing as too much Bacon. Olive or Vegetable Oil 1 Yellow Onion 2 big carrots Chicken stock or Bullion Buncha Sage, Thyme, Bay Leaves Nutmeg Maple Syrup Heavy Cream Salt and Pepper

1. Peel and cube butternut squash into 1in. squares. Preheat oven to 425 F. Peel garlic but leave it whole, toss it with the butternut squash and olive or vegetable, spread on the baking sheet or roasting pan and roast for 20-30 minutes until golden brown and soft when poked with a fork. Check at the 15-minute mark.

2. While squash roasts, fry the bacon and a few whole sage leaves until crisp in the Big Pot. Remove bacon and set it aside to cool, leaving the sage leaves and fat in the Pot.

3. Shred carrots and Onion with the cheese grater and add to the fat. Saute on medium heat until the onions are soft and transluscent, abut 10 minutes.

4. Finely chop the remaining sage and thyme. Add the roasted squash and garlic, chopped herbs, and whole bay leaves to the pot and add enough chicken stock or Bullion + water to just cover everything.

5. Bring the pot to a Boil and then reduce to a simmer. Simmer for 15 minutes. Remove from heat, and, working in batches or very carefully, Puree Soup.

6. Add Nutmeg, Salt, and Pepper to taste, a dollop of maple syrup and a splash of heavy cream. Chop Bacon finely, and stir into soup.

And that's Soup!

[pugwitharug]

MC Petting The Ilephtas, Part One: The Fluffies

I miss having something soft and warm to pet, so I'm making this to compensate. And I also need to separate this post or else I'm never gonna finish this

GN Reader, I debated putting Anisa on here since she's half-Ilephta but I'm not sure if she would get the reaction I'm going for lol, you're dating them in the different scenarios because yes, I miss them and I want them to come home from the war, they gonna be somft......because I said so

🐱Sage Lesath🐱

He's a big physical touch guy, we all know that. He's constantly rubbing himself against you, scent marking you, smelling your own unique and lovely scent, seeing how red you can get when he inconspicuously squeezes your ass lol

And we know it's canon he likes getting his ears rubbed so

*grabby hands* gib me kibby ears

You know that special way he likes it, cupping his ears in your hands while your fingers rub against the thin skin, feeling the heat of his blood rushing through as you massage them. His eyes flutter closed and he lets out a long purr as you sit in his lap, his hands cradling your hips

He especially loves it after long days of hunting down bounties and hitting the taverns and whatnot

I think.......if you pet him before he goes to sleep he'll sleep better and I don't think this poor man has a good sleep schedule

KISS 👏 THE 👏 TOP 👏 OF 👏 HE 👏 HEAD 👏

Mess around with his hair! It helps him calm down! Just don't hit a tangle or he'll bite you. Nom nom

Do you think Ilephta hair is sort of a different quality than normal human hair? Like, I don't know, is it softer than human hair naturally? I'm gonna say yes because I can

You joke that you'd sleep better if you had a pillow stuffed with Sage's hair. He laughs but you notice him trying to push his braid behind his back

Normally touching his tail is a sign of smexy times for him but when he turns around with a smirk and wiggling eyebrows and he sees you innocently twirling around his tail fur he feels guilty

Overall 9/10, wonderful petting experience until he bites you

🐯Lucan de Bhaldraithe 🐯

I looked it up specifically for this and tigers can't purr, but you know if he could he'd be like a fucking lawnmower

He likes it best when you massage his scalp! After a long day he plops his head in your lap and you work your magic fingers on him and he's in heaven

His ears are so fluffy omg. I think they're a little less sensitive than Sage's so you can mess around with them a little more

Run your fingers through his hair...........please 🥺

His hair is so soft, it's a little sad he doesn't have long hair cuz you would have a free blanket

Also please rub his back. I headcanon he has back pain from carrying those fat badonkadonks because the human spine is an architectural nightmare so give him a massage. Rub his back as he tells you about his day. His tail will wag happily

Speaking of his tail he's constantly having it touch you. Wrapped around your leg, your waist, your wrist, your arm, even just letting the fluffy bit tickle your back

Actually I don't think tigers have a fluffy bit on their tail but...I don't care he's gonna be a fluffy boi

His hair is like, a little more smooth than soft if you rub it in the right direction. Like velvet, with a little more poof. I read that a tiger's fur gets more coarse as they get older but Lucan isn't that old

He be just..........babie

🗡️Elowen de Bhaldraithe🗡️

Look, she has a reputation to uphold. If you're out in public and you try to pet her, she will put on her unbreakable poker face

But at home? Hoo boy

Is she a mountain lion? I don't know but I'm saying yes because they can purr and I think that's adorable

She doesn't have as loud of a purr as Sage does, but it's nice and soft. Good to listen to as you fall asleep

BRAID HER HAIR! It reminds her of Lucan when they were young, when he would always mess with her hair as he tells her about every single little detail of his day. It's useful for work too :3

Her tail........it looks soft and sleek, and it is, but it's also pretty strong. Not prehensile, but she can pick up certain items that might seem too heavy

She likes shoulder rubs! It's canon now! Massage her shoulders after a long day and she'll melt into you

She's not a big snuggler but if you're having a bad day she'll offer her head for you to pet and mess with

I also think she tends to bite if you snag your fingers or your comb on a tangle, or growl at you at least but she doesn't really mean it

Or does she.........?

I love her, my wifey. I'm married to (almost) everyone in LL lol

🐇Tulsi Ain🐇

She knows people want to pet her, but when she was younger she probably had some experiences with people petting her, then swiping something of hers while she was distracted, so she might not always be up to being pet

But she'll make a special exception for you. She trusts you :3

The fur on her ears isn't super long but it can get tangled sometimes. Gently comb her hair after she wakes up. She likes it, but she might fall back asleep lol

Does she have a little bunny tail? I hope she has a bunny tail. Little wiggle wiggle

She gets embarrassed if you pat it. But please do. Do us all a service

ALSO👏 KISS👏 THE👏 TOP👏 OF👏 SHE👏 HEAD👏

I think she prefers full body cuddles as opposed to rubs on individual parts, but she won't complain if you decide to do that

But her hands.........hold them........kiss them..........cherish them................

Bumby wife🥺

[bowiebond]

i will back billy x callahan solely because i want to feel the atmosphere and hear the sage thinly veiled words out of Flo's mouth when Billy shows up at the station to pay a fine that may or may not have already been waived and the looks that are exchange between not just billy and callahan but every soul in the room.

gimme.

“Oh no.” Hopper heard Flo’s loud sigh as he dipped his fingers into the donut box Callahan brought in like a good sport. He was younger than the lot of them, so pushing him around was good fun, but he always stuck to being a team player in the workspace.

“He’s back again.” She drawled and Hopper followed her line of vision with a donut half in his mouth.

Billy Hargrove. Huh. Hopper had been out of the office for a bit, focused on patrolling more than paperwork, so he had fallen behind in the office gossip. He watched the scene unfold with curiosity.

Billy walked into the station with a quick scan of the room and smirked when he found what he was looking for. He made a beeline for Callahan who was scribbling out details on a missing dog one of the older ladies often crooned sadly about. She had to stop leaving her damn gate open.

“Officer Callahan.” He greeted jovially, still looking fresh from the pool. The summer was doing him a favour, his tan coming to life in a golden bronze across his skin. His curls were almost dry, frizzing from the chlorine, but he still looked charming with his sunglasses, red trunks and thin white tee as he chewed his gum.

“Hm? O-oh, Billy.” Callahan fumbled with his pen and cleared his throat with a readjusting of his glasses. “Good to see you. Again. What can I- uh…do for you? Today.”

“Oh you know, another speeding ticket. Can’t help it, I live fast and wild, officer.” Billy rested his elbows on the counter and leaned forward with a wolfish grin. “Young and spirited, as your piggy pals would say.”

Hoppers brow twitched in irritation at the insult, and Callahan sighed.

“Billy…”

“Come on, officer, you know I’m jesting. Pulling your leg.” He gestured with a yank that looked more like a stroke, a slow smirk curling on his lips. “So about that fine I’ve been saddled with…” He continued coyly, ducking his head and looking over his shades to peak at Callahan. “Mind helping me out? Just one more time. As your favourite offender.”

“Billy…” Callahan grumbled softly, but was noticeably pink in the cheeks as he put his hand out and made a grab for the paper in the young man’s hand. The blond smacked it into his hand and grinned, gripping it for just a moment before letting go.

“You’re the best, officer Callahan.” He purred.

“No more joyrides, got it? I’m serious.”

“Swear on my fathers grave, Philly.” He winked with a hand to his heart. The older man rolled his eyes.

“Lemme take a look-see, okay?” Callahan clicked around on his computer, brows pinching as he went through the files for the blonds record. Billy stretched over the counter to take his shoulder, giving it a squeeze and rub that made the officer stiffen.

“You’re a real pal, officer. Truly. I’ll be sure to be extra good from now on, scouts honour. If not, I’ll come quietly.” His sly gaze was enough for Hopper to know that was a big, fat lie. Billy Hargrove had kicked up a fuss plenty of times when Hopper picked him up from a bar brawl.

“That’s— that’s good. Really good, um…” Callahan was buffering, floundering for a response and Billy laughed, patting his shoulder twice.

“Cat got your tongue, officer? Be sure to tell her to share it sometime.” Hopper furrowed his brows, not getting his turn of phrase, but Flo just scoffed and Callahan went red, ducking his head back to the computer screen, tapping furiously.

“I’ll take care of the- the fine, just uh- get on home, okay?”

Billy grinned and leaned in, murmuring something Hopper couldn’t quite catch.

Callahan cleared his throat and nodded quickly, readjusting his glasses, a nervous habit.

“Yes, yes, uh- I’ll see you. Okay. Bye.” Callahan turned away, even covering the side of his face from Billy’s view, the blond grinning. Callahan’s wide eyes and pursed lips were on display for everyone else to see.

“Dick-whipped.” Flo muttered and went back to her coffee as Hopper looked at her, brows furrowed in confusion before he looked around the rest of the office.

“See ya around, Philly.” Billy left with that and Powell scoffed.

“That boy has you wrapped around his finger, Callahan.”

“Please don’t.” Callahan groaned, covering his face. Another officer barked a laugh.

Hopper remained puzzled until he clocked out and saw Billy smoking by his Camaro outside, still in his trunks and sunglasses. The blond grinned, all teeth and dangerous.

“Tell my favourite piggy to hurry up, will you? I’m hungry.” He stomped out his cigarette and hopped back into his car, flipping his mirror down to preen at his signature curls. Hopper’s eyes widened.

He opened the door and gave a yell.

“Callahan, hurry up before your girlfriend decides to leave without you!”

Billy caught his eye through the windshield and gave him the middle finger. Hopper rolled his eyes and stomped off to his car.

“Fuckin’ kids. Couldn’t he pick a less troublesome one?”