#SUCH a dad...he 1000% is like my kids are better than your kids (lowkey...but also in a very very high key)

[bumblingbabooshka]

Tuvok dad Moments in Pathways

Bonus: Tuvok being absolutely shocked that he wasn’t a perfect angel when he was a child...I can’t believe these lies would be spread about Tuvok [Redacted], the world’s most perfect boy then man...

[officialsporkintheroad]

Hi!absolutely love your baby tomiome fic !and want more!I'm really curious about how will Tom patenting their daughter. like what if she got into big trouble and he's called to the headmaster's office? And will he tell Hermione aftermath or he will be the "this is our little secret,don't tell mummy"kind of dad? Love your writings! And more DAD Tom pleeeease~

Oooh okay, I haven’t thought about this AU in a while and I’m still not super crazy about kid fics but:

Okay so for the sake of this AU, their daughter’s name is Diana. I feel like Hermione would want their kid to have an actually pronounceable name, AND it’s another Shakespearian name. PLUS as if Tom wouldn’t be 100% down to have his kid lowkey named after a goddess, I mean....

Anyway. Neither Tom nor Hermione are easy parents to have. They’re both workaholics who have a tendency to get lost in their studies/projects, and neither of them are particularly emotionally competent. 

Hermione would be the queen of Parenting how-to books because she always trusts a book more than her own instincts, or even other people’s examples/advice. 

Molly Weasley: “Oh those books are rubbish. What do they know about how to raise a child? My seven turned out just fine, and I just raised them the way my mother raised me.”

Hermione, side-eyeing Ron & the twins dubiously: “Right. Thanks.” 

Tom, whose never had a single reliable adult figure in his life--let a lone a parental figure, dear god--discreetly sneak-reading the parenting books when Hermione’s not looking (he’s too emotionally constipated to let her know just how invested he is in raising their child). At least he knows what he doesn’t want to be like. 

Tom secretly keeping notes on his own Not To Do guidebook: How Not to Raise a Child Who Will Later Want to Murder You Out of Spite.

Baby-talk is not really a thing in the Granger-Riddle household. Hermione read once that it’s important to talk to your child as if they already understand you so as not to stunt their growth, and Tom might be willing to do the voices for story-time but he’s not going to coo, or babble, or gurgle. Not ever.

As a result, Diana is so used to her parents and their big words and having things clearly explained to her but never being talked down to that she rolls up to muggle primary school (Hermione: She’s going to learn basic maths, Tom. And you know the wizarding world is really far behind on science!) and is already 1000% done with teachers who are trying to teach the ABCs. 

(Muggle Primary School lasts all of two weeks before Diana asks if she really has to go, and Tom is so smug about it because even Hermione has to agree that maybe private tutoring would go better.)

Hermione: She needs to interact with other kids, though. 

Tom: Fine. I’ll tell the Malfoy’s to clear Scorpius’ schedule.

OH MY GOD FAMILY READING TIME!!!! When Diana is old enough to read for herself, and Tom and Hermione settle down to read in the evenings. Tom sits on one end of the couch, Hermione laying out with her feet tucked under his legs, and Diana sitting sideways in his lap, all of them with their own books. And sometimes Diana will ask her dad what a word means, so Tom will pause in his reading to explain it to her, and Hermione might sometimes sneakily take pictures because it’s just so cute. 

IN TERMS OF GETTING INTO TROUBLE

Hermione is the parent to avoid. She believes in rules. She believes in morals. And she believes in consequences. Hermione’s never afraid to dish out a time-out, and while she’s not a yelling type of parent, an angry Hermione is usually a lecturing Hermione, and Diana has learned to avoid that whenever possible. 

It’s not that Tom is in any way a softer parent. He can be just as strict as Hermione, but his rules are more along the lines of “don’t get caught” rather than “don’t do it.” Also, he finds it amusing when Diana tries to bribe/blackmail him into not telling Hermione (he considers it a good life skill to cultivate early lol). 

I’m gonna stop here because it’s dinnertime and I’m hungry, but there are more dad!Tom requests in the inbox, so keep your eyes peeled if this is an AU y’all like. 

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: [okay so we said that JJ have gone to get the PE shit and are casually having a 🚬 and the teacher is like go see what the hold up is and Ella volunteers cos 1000% that bitch and she of course starts a vague rumour about them being saucy with it] Janis: are the boys saying shit Jimmy: what kind of question's that? Janis: fuck's sake Janis: right, how do you wanna deal from your end Janis: 'cos you can say shit or you can slag me off like you'd never, either way, your move, new boy Jimmy: how do you want me to? Jimmy: I could give a shit what gets said about me Janis: alright, just say nothing then Janis: I'll deck her Jimmy: 👍 Janis: hardly Jimmy: nowt close to a challenge my end Jimmy: and it ain't like you'll have one flooring her Janis: still can't get her to take it back Janis: have to force feed her or some shit for that Jimmy: and what? you've got a missus waiting at home that'll be 💔 you were at it with someone else in the sport's cupboard? Janis: Fuck off Janis: if I've got to explain sexism to you then cba Janis: no one's chatting shit on your name like they are mine Jimmy: I bet lasses are, 'cause I shouldn't have touched you with a barge pole or some bollocks Jimmy: hang on, I'll check Jimmy: [DMs] Janis: and what? Janis: I didn't start it, take it up with Blondie Jimmy: I don't care what any dickhead in this shithole reckons, it's your problem if you do Jimmy: that's what Janis: Don't need your groundbreaking hot take to know that, tah Jimmy: stop whinging at me then, tah Janis: I ain't, do one Janis: I was checking you weren't making it worse for me, that's it Jimmy: job done Jimmy: and there'll be a new #scandal tomorrow so no need to check in with me again Janis: you reckon, new boy? Janis: you'll be lucky if another kid joins before you leave yourself Jimmy: I'll be leaving myself soon as Jimmy: you'll be lucky if it ain't you and 👑💀 stuck doing the project Janis: mistaking me for the bitch that cares about her A Jimmy: nah, I weren't Jimmy: the 😎 ain't prescription Janis: i'd get her to spread that it is Janis: don't wanna shout about how that look is a choice Jimmy: you ain't that bad that I feel the need, looks wise at least Janis: great Jimmy: any road, my brother's deaf, if I start spreading that shit about they'll be asking my sister if she's got a fake leg or some bollocks Jimmy: be a bit rude to her Janis: I'm not gonna chat shit on your unfortunate genetics, don't worry Janis: can't rival mine anyway Jimmy: @iantaylor8 if you wanna have a go Janis: unless he has his own law firm, I'm not bothered Jimmy: 💔 for him Janis: obviously, we had a great time amongst the unwashed bibs and muddy footballs Jimmy: surprised she could get the door open Jimmy: 💀💪 Janis: got that burst of adrenaline knowing she'd get extra treats from her master for it Janis: could've been in there alone, obviously helps other people give more of a fuck that it was you Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: so yeah, it is your fault, cheers Jimmy: didn't send myself or force you to have that 🚬 off me, mate Janis: not my go-to defense story Janis: crying rape might seem kinda cute but I'm alright Jimmy: funny Jimmy: you ain't that cute I NEED to fuck you mid P.E Janis: oh no Janis: let me go cry into the nearest 🏀 Jimmy: the mats would be a better shout, they've managed all that 💦 Janis: oh yeah, bring up the mats Janis: not heard enough about what a romantic setting they are Jimmy: soz, next time I'll assault you in the 🚽 Janis: even better Janis: I'll just stay in there and set up shop Jimmy: 💕 Janis: should've picked an option with a racket Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: work too, fair heft behind that Jimmy: bit of class an' all Jimmy: rich girl won't have nowt to whinge about Janis: 'cos I've proved well classy Jimmy: will do with a full orchestra behind your rampage Janis: I'll find a music nerd in these DMs Jimmy: 🥇💡 Janis: beats Mia suing me 'cos I killed her girlfriend Jimmy: another'd spawn from Mia's rib or some bollocks Jimmy: she'd be alright Jimmy: if she don't regurgitate one like a 🐍 jaw unhinged Janis: 🐑 don't baa on the way out, new boy Janis: ask my sister Jimmy: You're alright, I'd rather not talk to her Janis: wow Janis: same Jimmy: 😱😱😱 OMG Jimmy: no wonder every dickhead thinks we're love's young dream Janis: yeah, she's SUCH a delight, everyone else 💘s her Jimmy: obvs Janis: you're new, so I'll let you off for not being up enough on the gossip this once Jimmy: tah Jimmy: so generous, you Janis: apparently so Jimmy: go on, what do you want me to do Janis: ? Jimmy: you're that 💔 Janis: you can't do fuck all Janis: even if I were Jimmy: Why can't I? Janis: what's to do Janis: they chat shit 'cos they got none of their own Janis: none as interesting as what they wanna gob off about anyway Jimmy: I dunno, that's why I asked Jimmy: but alright Janis: just forget about it 'til they do, like you said Jimmy: nowt to bother remembering Janis: not a diss, just factual so Janis: yeah Jimmy: bet Ella counts her 🚬 Janis: easier habit to hide when you have to brush your teeth at least ten times a day Jimmy: got something else to blame when they go yellow and fall out an' all Janis: set of falsies is the way to go Janis: off and on again whenever you need to purge Janis: I'll float it Jimmy: shame she don't do lads Jimmy: that's a kink right there Janis: she definitely does Janis: that's why this is bullshit Janis: does whatever 💀👑 needs her to Jimmy: I'll live without hearing about them threesomes Janis: grim Jimmy: they still ain't welcome up north Janis: 💔 how will they cope Jimmy: idk idc obvs babes Janis: 🤮🤮🤮 Jimmy: go ahead and spread that about as your official ™ reaction to my 😘 Janis: no one cares if you were good, new boy Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: that'll be why my inbox is full Janis: your inbox is full because a. people think you're good as is b. they wanna know if I am Jimmy: if they reckon I'm good they care enough to have thought about it Janis: alright, they're well concerned Janis: if you need 'em to be Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you ain't concerned about what I do or don't need Janis: nah, I'm not Janis: just a weird hill to live and die on Jimmy: would be if it were the one I were on Janis: 👍 Janis: just saying, no one is concerning themselves if I had a good time or not Jimmy: I heard you Janis: alright Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: later Janis: [actually later, like a lesson or so whatever] Janis: do you know George Daley? Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos I wanna know if he's telling the truth or not Jimmy: about what? Janis: apparently you told him loads of extra details he was loudly telling his mates Jimmy: leave it out Jimmy: new boy, remember Janis: he's not also saying you're best friends Jimmy: I'm saying I've said nowt Jimmy: piss off Janis: okay Janis: you're marginally more plausible than him so take your word Jimmy: I'll take my 🏆 soon as you've engraved it Janis: don't get ahead of yourself Janis: either your imagination is lacking or it's his Janis: and I know you're WELL artistic so Jimmy: alright, stop flirting with me Janis: how many more girls need to tell you that's disgusting Jimmy: how many lasses are in this school? Janis: ha Janis: know they don't do royalty in the north, even they ain't that thick Janis: come up with a new bit probably Jimmy: 👌 Janis: send you his socials if you wanna smack him down Jimmy: go on then Janis: [does] Janis: he's the least attractive one in the groupshot, go figure Jimmy: the 🦐 looking twat? Jimmy: alright Janis: 😂 Janis: good shout Janis: fits with your fish kink Jimmy: What lesson you in? Janis: Physics Jimmy: that's [a classroom/ lab number situ, don't get lost boy] ? Janis: next one along Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [shows up and decks this boy so that all kicks off] Janis: [dramaaaaaaa] Jimmy: [enjoy the show bitches] Janis: [what are you gonna make of that, ladies, when it looks like you're defending her honour instead of your own] Jimmy: [when you lowkey are though, we see you boy] Janis: [we all do, not her though so it's fine] Jimmy: [literally been here no time Jimothy, casual crush at first sight okay then] Janis: [we know you're both hot no hiding from that] Janis: how much trouble you get in? Jimmy: You've been here longer than me, have a guess Janis: 🤔🤔 Janis: depends how much of a good mood the head was in 🥴 Jimmy: ☕ were half full Jimmy: might be 🥃🥃 or 🥃🥃🥃 depending on his measures Janis: either way, bet you have to write him an apology Janis: always make you do that Jimmy: [shows her his 🦐 doodles all over said apology] Jimmy: ✔ Janis: 😏 sincere Jimmy: Am I supposed to invite him out for a 🦐🍛 or what? Janis: no Janis: he'll 😢 and with his eye how it is now, might explode from the pressure Jimmy: can either handle a #ladsnightout or you can't Janis: poor shrimpy Janis: he looks better for the swelling, honestly Jimmy: might write me a thank you note Jimmy: been after a pen pal Jimmy: 💕 Janis: figures Jimmy: ? Janis: artistic Janis: prefer 🖋 over 🗣 Jimmy: nah, just northern Jimmy: can barely write and I need the practice Janis: tell the head that, she can tell her bosses, and they'll get you out of detention Jimmy: 👍 Janis: success story ⭐ Jimmy: my dad will be dead proud Janis: buzzing Jimmy: what am I missing then? Janis: a sense of purpose? Janis: your keys? Janis: what? Jimmy: what 🗨 dickhead Janis: oh, what shrimpdick said? Janis: just more bollocks than I'd heard already Janis: if it were bad before, it's 💘 now Jimmy: you could've said 💀👑 were in there Janis: how was I supposed to know you'd show up Jimmy: what did you think I were gonna do? Janis: well, see him after school sounds a bit gay but Janis: not barge in to a lesson, obviously Jimmy: yeah I asked you for directions I weren't gonna use Janis: I thought you were bullshitting Jimmy: you're alright, there's nobody about to see me 😭 Janis: probably work in our favour once everyone else calms down Janis: reckons we're both gay so Janis: let her do the work with the 🗨 Jimmy: what were it you said? buzzing Jimmy: that'll be me Janis: 👍 Janis: you didn't get in proper shit, did you Jimmy: What's proper shit? Janis: like excluded level Janis: anything below that, not saying sorry for your 😭 Jimmy: weren't after a sorry off you any road Janis: 💔 Jimmy: and I never hit him that hard Janis: I know Janis: but he's being a right tart about it Janis: make more sense if he was good looking to start with Jimmy: 🦐💔 Jimmy: you a vegetarian or what? Janis: hilarious 🙄 Jimmy: 🤡 me Jimmy: it were you who said it Janis: 'cos my taste borders outside aquatic, I'm gay now, alright Jimmy: nowt to do with me Jimmy: literally Janis: you asked Jimmy: nah Janis: you just curious about my dietary needs Jimmy: if that's a crime, give Mia's dad a bell Janis: 🤞💘 Janis: they're well pissed off rn, nothing else Jimmy: sod catholic school, don't even need it Jimmy: about to get into heaven off the back of that Janis: told 'em it weren't me that was getting #saved Jimmy: you wanna piss 'em off a bit more? Janis: obviously? Jimmy: Alright, what would? Jimmy: I'm here, you're there and we're 💕 Janis: you said no one's about? Jimmy: I did do Janis: a teachers showed? Jimmy: nah but that means they could in a bit Janis: fuck it Janis: hang on then Jimmy: 🤞💘 Janis: [ask for a pissbreak, go to whatever room this is and take a #goals selfie for the first time] Jimmy: [love that because it makes the fake dating less out of the blue as a request so well done lads] Janis: [you're welcome] Janis: get more ❤s than her she'll 💥 Jimmy: I'd say challenge accepted but it ain't one Janis: 🥺 when your boyfriend isn't as fit as you thought Jimmy: if you're doing that face since you've been back, you'll really sell the starcrossed lovers angle Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 😒 translate just as well Jimmy: I get it, there's no oscar in your future Janis: fuck off Janis: it ain't hard Jimmy: couldn't hack the proposition of being in my ad, you Janis: that's different Janis: besides, tell me it won't be funnier to make her do it Jimmy: might be for the first 10 takes Janis: she gets to roleplay with daddy to rehearse she'll be 🏆 Jimmy: SUCH a romantic, you Janis: just want her to be happy, like Jimmy: fuck her, I'm giving you the 🏆 Janis: #blessed Jimmy: that's me, obvs Janis: no, you're #saved Janis: don't hog them all Jimmy: one #'s worth fuck all Jimmy: every dickhead knows you need to flood it Jimmy: bit biblical an' all, that Janis: you get sent her to get turned? Janis: hardcore conversion therapy Janis: here* Jimmy: not gay, just fit and mysterious Janis: 👌 Jimmy: gone right off 🐙🦑🦐🦞🦀🐡🐠🐟 but I don't reckon we can call that hardcore Jimmy: or much of a turn Janis: aren't supposed to eat shellfish actually, so God should be made up Jimmy: success story ⭐ Jimmy: like you said Janis: can go back to where you came from now Janis: in the nicest, non-racist way possible Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 🙏* Jimmy: tah my dear Janis: not 👠👠 but you get what you pay for Jimmy: ain't my fault the tip jar's got nowt in Jimmy: @💀👑 Janis: I remember Jimmy: she ain't changed her ways or owt recently, funny that Janis: she needs the #bornagain Janis: thank fuck she ain't got a dog Jimmy: Oi, what's El if not a service 🐕? Janis: she walks herself enough though Jimmy: she does do laps round the table before she gets her ☕ Janis: not surprised Janis: beyond surprised she can still manage it without the heart attack, obvs Jimmy: 🙏* Janis: deal with the 😈 Janis: gotcha Jimmy: if you can say fuck it today, why not, like? Janis: decent tagline Janis: I'll put it on the site Jimmy: good shout Jimmy: I were gonna say if you need 📸 for it, give me a shout an' all Janis: like IOU one 💘 selfie? Jimmy: sir ain't getting my nudes that easy Janis: gutted Jimmy: 🎻💔😭 Jimmy: call it another deal with the 😈 if you want, mate, but I were being serious Jimmy: bagsied the 🎨 ages ago Janis: alright Jimmy: alright Janis: was thinking, how do we piss her off more with this project Janis: without it being dead obvious that that's what we're doing Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: do you mean us or the #content? Janis: both Jimmy: what thoughts did you have? Janis: well, obviously we can't put in anything that she can run to sir with Janis: but, like the ad, you can edit it to be like one of those no win no fee things like you said Janis: shit like that Jimmy: Do you know what her dad actually looks like? Janis: hold on Janis: [finds his linkedin or whatever 'cos that bitch] Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: you reckon we could use his shit Janis: he has a website as well, can take bits of that as #inspiration Jimmy: few edits so it ain't LITERALLY his, bit of a parody, OMG she'll be fuming Janis: right, that's the VIBE Janis: could use his face but distort it, shadow it, put a bag over Janis: you know she'd know still Jimmy: I've been pissing about with hers an' all Jimmy: [shows her what he's been up to because he didn't have her father's deets] Janis: that's good Janis: on the same page on this one Janis: make 'em victims of medical negligence or something Janis: botched hair transplant Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: dickheads sometimes put a 👍 review of their website, happy clients that sort of bollocks Janis: right Janis: and if we make her the lawyer she wants to be Janis: can't really complain Jimmy: she can't but not to sir Jimmy: can* Janis: that's all I care about Janis: she ain't gonna stop COMING for me 😭 Jimmy: or her man for me 😱😱 Janis: soz I don't know what classes he takes so you can smack him and all Jimmy: he'll find me, unless they're both all mouth Janis: 🤷 Jimmy: *🤞 Janis: least the muscles are purely for show Jimmy: 💪🏆 me Janis: mhmm Jimmy: so complimentary, you Jimmy: I get why your inbox is full Janis: don't need to be Janis: I'm the 🏆 Jimmy: I'm taking back the one I gave you a bit ago for generosity or whatever bollocks it were Janis: I'll survive, mate Jimmy: 👌 dry your eyes and crack on Janis: enjoy your DMs Jimmy: Oi I'm illiterate remember, and there's no need to rub it in, Janet Janis: there'll be lots of pictures for you, no doubt Janis: get the gist real easy Jimmy: 🤤🤤😍😍 Jimmy: might be right about me being saved Janis: 😷 GROSS Jimmy: we'll both live Jimmy: 💔🎻 Janis: real tragedy that Jimmy: give it a few years to get on the English curriculum Janis: not that you'll ever know Jimmy: might still be trying to pass it Janis: awh Jimmy: *🤷 Janis: i'm well concerned about your education Jimmy: HANG ON, is this NERD FLIRTING?!! 💕🤓 Jimmy: I'd heard loads about it Janis: have to see what 💀👑 reckons Jimmy: I'll @ her Janis: she'll love that Jimmy: [does obviously and sends her whatever response] Janis: good to know she's SO on board with this 💘 Janis: have to keep it up if she's gonna be so 😭 😤 Jimmy: if she can't have us, next best, obvs Janis: now she knows how poor Ella feels Jimmy: what the fuck is going on there? Janis: if she ain't in love with her idk Janis: she don't need her to buy her shit Jimmy: I'll have to @ her an' all Janis: fill your boots sherlock Janis: 🤞 it's a death cult naturally, so they take my sister with 'em Jimmy: sounds like a bit of me, that Jimmy: gutted I pissed off their leader Janis: well, you want a new 👜 she'll take you in and make you pay with  🩸🥵😭 Jimmy: if it can start a gay teletubby scandal, might do something for me Janis: better rep than 💫💘 Janis: probably Jimmy: what ain't? Janis: cheer Janis: s Janis: not the only one with an inbox full of hilarious 'better' offers Jimmy: you wanna go from 😍😍 to 💀💀💀 in 3 days that's your shout Jimmy: be a record around here at any rate Janis: I'll just do one when you get mixed messages and top yourself Jimmy: take it up with the 'better' offers, more of 'em you can take out, the 'better' this shithole would be Janis: no shit, like Janis: not that much of a slag, sadly Jimmy: you called me Sherlock, pointing out the bloody obvious is my job done Janis: go shoot up and go to your mind palace, like Jimmy: not that much of a druggie, sadly Janis: letdown Janis: said you were 😎 Jimmy: 😎 by 💀👑 standards is bound to be a letdown by yours, Jules Janis: understatement Jimmy: alright, bighead Janis: coming from you, that's almost a compliment Jimmy: I know Jimmy: you can stop fishing now Janis: piss off Jimmy: 😏 Janis: 🖕🖕🖕 NEW BOY Jimmy: 💕 Janis: anything that reminds you of our glorious leader 😍 Jimmy: this teacher's ☕ breath is really doing it for me Janis: cruel and unusual punishment that Janis: tell socials you're being tortured Jimmy: start me a # Janis: #justiceforjimmy is catchy but you don't have a name so won't help Jimmy: @ Mia's dad for legal words beginning with n Jimmy: 🤞 he's got that far in the alphabet or you're on your own, girl Janis: I'll have to go for the cryptic #whereisnewboy Janis: not having 👀 on you must be well distressing for them anyway Jimmy: steady on though, sounds a bit like I've already ghosted you Jimmy: not very #goals that Janis: oh yeah Janis: 🐇🐇🐇 Jimmy: 🐇 on the boil or nowt Jimmy: 💀👑 rule 1 Janis: I'll think on it then 👻 boy Jimmy: 👍 Janis: #getghostboyout Janis: how long did you actually get in there? Jimmy: #bustoutghostboy Janis: lowkey suggestive Jimmy: 👻👻👻👻👻👻👻 Jimmy: right, they'll LOVE that Janis: [pisstakey socials] Jimmy: [replies that are lowkey suggestive because we know we've started something] Janis: [when you don't even know what you're doing but you're doing IT] Jimmy: [god bless you both]

[jmespottuh]

❛  if there’s one thing the gods love, it’s tragedy. with wings that burn and boys who fall. ❜

* ╰   brandon arreaga  ;  17 ;  he/him  —— wow, james potter sure has changed. i guess he is feeling isolated from the other gryffindor members. guess you can’t really blame them. i still remember them being so charming & incisive now they just seem dependent & inexorable.  guess being a  pureblood isn’t helping matters much either.  i’m hopeful though. they’ll be just fine.

links: pinterest, stats character parallels: bellamy blake ( the 100 ), shane madej ( buzzfeed unsolved ), jake peralta ( brooklyn nine-nine ), stefan salvatore ( the vampire diaries ), scott mccall ( teen wolf ), steve harrington ( stranger things )

james henry potter ( named for two his two grandfathers, maternal and paternal respectively ) was born on april 4th, 1960 to two of the most loving parents a child could have.

fleamont and euphemia had been trying for a child for years. they’d been together for basically all of time, having been that typical good-looking, well liked couple in hogwarts that everyone always just assumes will get married ( spoiler alert: they did ), however had had to postpone kids due to fleamont’s brief stint as a professional quidditch player for eight years following their graduation. after that, they would try every month for a child, and after many years of disappointment, eventually gave up. it was during this time that fleamont developed the sleekeazy hair potion which only added to their immense wealth. 

finally at age forty-one, they were surprised with the arrival of james. obviously, they saw him as their miracle child, and as such he was pampered and completely spoiled from the moment he was born.

i cannot stress enough how much this spoiled upbringing shaped james into the person he is today. if you’re wondering why he was ever an arrogant prick, it’s because he was always used to getting absolutely everything he ever wanted. he grew up with money, he grew up with fame and with every bit of attention he could garner, and so it was really no wonder he was a bit of an asshole by the time he started at hogwarts.

obviously, james had a pretty cushy childhood, and as such, shit didn’t start getting real until he started at hogwarts. 

it took all of three seconds for the hat to sort him into gryffindor, and i guess you could say he pretty much considered himself to be the gem of the house. he was the absolute epitome of a gryffindor, basically considered him the poster boy and all but expected everyone to love him.

really did not help his ego to know that everyone did.

in typical sterotype-gryffindor fashion, james hated slytherin. he had always been taught growing up that purists were basically the root of all evil, and his father had had no qualms in lumping all these people in with the house of the snakes. james and his friends took a particular disliking to severus snape almost immediately for the poncy way in which he seemed to believe he was superior to all for his intelligence and his house status, and this dislike only grew when lily evans was tossed into the mix, too.

for basically the first four or five years of hogwarts, james really was that stereotypical arrogant asshole that he’s often made out to be. he always got everything he asked for, he was incredibly popular and incredibly intelligent, he had the most amazing friends and his eyes on the most amazing girl. he was set!! shit was good!!

shit was not good, though. definitely was not.

despite having known of remus’ furry little problem since second year, things didn’t really start to settle in james how awful it was until third or fourth year. he hated seeing his friend in pain, he hated that he couldn’t help, and so he rallied the boys to put into action their worst plan yet!!!!

becoming animagi!!!!!!

it took fucking forever, obviously, but by the end of fourth year they did it!! we stan icons

except then in fifth year shit hit the fan again in just, like… so many ways

first, it was the whole severus ‘mudblood’ situation. honestly, james was absolutely furious. he’d always hated snape but this just made everything 1000 times worse. even if it had happened to anyone else, he would have been fuming. but for it to have happened to lily like… yikes. 

this was also a horrible time for james though because lily rejected him for the thousandth time. like, look, what a yikes thing to think when she was just called a mudblood, but frankly he was sick of being rejected and he was sick of being the asshole who kept pressuring her so that was the breaking point — he gave up on her. 

and tbh, he changed a lot from here on out. grew up!! became a better person bc he saw how horrible snap was and decided he was sick of horrible people!! saw, recognised and acknowledged that just bc he was hot and intelligent and rich he wasn’t always going to get everything he wanted ( see: miss evans ) and just generally learned that oh shit the world doesn’t revolve around him!!!

oh and then there was that whole thing with sirius and snape and remus the werewolf and ohhhh boyyyy…. that infuriated him. 

he loves his bros so much and y’all know he would die for them, but to see his friend abuse remus’ pain and suffering for his own gain was heart wrenching. it just pushed him further to pull him in line, to realise that not everything was about games, or petty rivalry, or ‘ getting the girl ’ — life was heartache and mistakes and it was never going to go the way he wanted it to.

now look, this isn’t all to say that james is now a super strict, super intense, brooding weirdo. he’s still a bit of a child, and he’s still a bit of an arrogant prick, but ultimately what wins out is his morals — every time. he wants to lead the world to a better place, without war and without hate, he wants everyone to have the same opportunities he had as a kid and he wants nothing more than for blood purity to be eradicated.

get that shit outta my house!!! gross!!!!!!

now in his final year, james is always flipping between taking his role as head boy deadly serious and turning it into one big game of mischief. he’s still a marauder at heart, after all, and has definitely abused his power sometimes for the benefit of fun and games, but when it comes down to it, he can be very strict and lowkey paternal. the leader really just…. popped right outta him, it came to play and it came hard, and really you’d think he’s minister for magic with how serious he treats it sometimes.

i hate him.

the disappearance of one of his best friends, one peter pettigrew, landed james to flop pretty fucking hard on the side of seriousness. once you spend months without knowing where your best friend is, thinking he’s dead, you’re bound to start to lose a bit of that which once made you smile. it was this piled on top of what james had already been feeling which led the head boy to start finding ways he could join the revolution within the walls of hogwarts --- it’s been bloody hard but james is determined to make a difference, to make sure no one else he loves suffers in a war that they never asked to fight in the first place.

anyway here’s some fun facts that didn’t fit up top

james is a lot less intense with his hatred for slytherin’s. he has come to recognise that not everyone from that lifestyle is going to be the same, not everyone who grew up a certain way or was sorted into a certain house is going to think with a deadly mind, and while he’s still a bit wary, he’s a lot more relaxed about it, especially as head boy ( gotta at least pretend shit’s fair !!! )

he’s very dependent as in like… boi cannot go a week without his friends. he is used to having people to bounce off, that’s always the type of leader he has been, and as much as he would probably be amazing at anything on his own, he’s never really tried. too scared!! i hate him!!!!!

super unforgiving. like, if you have gotten on his bad side…. i’m sorry. it is going to be very difficult to return from there. his moral compass is pretty black and white, you’re either good or your bad, and if you’ve done something he considers bad well sucks to be you, i guess. sorry not sorry.

takes his quidditch very seriously tbh. so many people have told him he needs to be a pro like his dad, but he’s like haha fuck you i know what i wanna do ( hint hint: he wants to rule that goddamn auror office, make that shit far more efficient then he thinks it is now ). but srsly, he’s so intense abt the game and it really like… idk gets him in the zone, keeps him level-headed in amongst all this chaos. 

he’s smart. i guess. straight a’s and shit idk. just very naturally intelligent, finds everything he does easy, like.. really is that asshole who is just good at everything he does.

[sunflowershayne]

mortal kombat au

bc i’m a dumb thot that’s severely attached to MK and smosh so.... uwu

ian hecox: liu kang. one of the most recognizable characters, generally considered the “hero” of the MK universe, one of the most powerful human characters, has fire magic and idk i just strongly relate ian to fire sometimes. also very fiercely protective of those he cares about, and will do whatever he can to help others. stubborn and vengeful, even when it can be petty.

noah grossman: ermac. has probably stolen at least 1,000 souls in his lifetime, has an unspeakable aura, has green magic (weed), has that one fatality where he takes out your stomach and noah is v picky so it fits i think. currently has free will and chooses his battles in self-preservation, and wants what’s best for his home and the world he grew up in. has a very strong connection to family due to having the former outworld king’s soul inside of him.

olivia sui: skarlet. is a very strange little creature with an obsession for others’ blood, one of the most powerful girls in the MK universe due to her magic, has the potential to take everything over but just wants approval. is also incredibly brutal but in a subtle way, has an ethereal and almost elegant way to her. basically i just see them both as weird gremlin women with insane amounts of power.

keith leak jr.: kung lao. very close with liu kang, iconic hat, is one of the more mundane humans due to not having a power, but is just as formidable as other kombatants due to his rage and his sheer knowledge of fighting. has a legacy he wants to live up to (the great kung lao is kinda like kung lao sr. right?), and is protective of his family (the shaolin monks). is generally more pissed off than liu kang.

courtney miller: cassie cage. sassy wlw (cassie’s not a confirmed wlw but like... come on, she’s. not straight), has latent magic within her, strong ties to her family, doesn’t rely on her power to fight with others despite being able to. strong badass woman that supports others, literally could kill a man by kicking them in the nuts. uwu-loving, selfie-taking, snapchat-filtering, ass-kicking lady that takes no prisoners.

shayne topp: johnny cage. muscular blond actor that is not-so humble about how they perceive themselves, very jokey and sarcastic, REFERENCES REFERENCES REFERENCES, pop culture, will flirt with anyone if it means he can be out of danger. consistently shirtless, but also incredibly loyal and steadfast, and has a very good heart. will do ANYTHING for his family and friends, including defeat a literal elder god in combat.

lasercorn: scorpion. fire man made of vengeance and anger, loves his clan more than anything, literal hellspawn, has a thing for sub-zero, is actually just a skull under a ninja mask, has actual flame hair, impulsive and has a short fuse. wants nothing more than to avenge his family and clan, and does absolutely anything he can to make sure that he gets what he wants. becomes besties with sub-zero (more than besties but like.... i’m not gonna say it Out Loud lest Ed Boon come murder me in my sleep!!!!!!!!)

jovenshire: erron black. gunslingin’ rowdy boy that tries to flirt with unsuccessful results, has his own interests and goals in mind when he makes decisions, chooses battles based on how much he can gain from each possibility. listens to country music and unironically does the boot-scootin’ boogie, has strong beliefs that people are allowed to make their own decisions and do what they want. a strangely coy and erotic cowboy.

mari takahashi: kitana. ethereal princess of an entire realm, goes from wanting to please others to making her own decisions and being loyal to herself, can kill a man with just a kiss, is besties (i mean in canon they’re dating but like. Not Here!!!!) with liu kang. has hopes for the future, will do whatever it takes to prevent bad things from happening, surprisingly very violent despite being so nice.

sohinki: sub-zero. generally a chill guy that will kick your ass mercilessly when given the chance, may or may not be lasercorn’s true enemy, initially was kind of a strict dude but now he’s just chill and wants to have a good time. always seems to show up whenever others need him, and basically just takes things in stride. all around good addition to a team, but can be stubborn and unmoving.

wes johnson: mileena. very giddy at first, but calms down a bit later on, desperately wants to be considered part of a family, has a strong temper and craves some sort of control, wants stability and prosperity for themselves. proud of their accomplishments and are always looking for people to acknowledge them, big eaters. is like a younger sibling that pesters you for candy. more powerful than they know.

boze: sonya blade. no-nonsense, won’t hesitate bitch, will kill you within a moment’s notice if you cross her, strong and independent with a soft spot for her friends, idk i just really associate boze with army green, was almost definitely a very emo teen. expects a lot from cassie but loves her with all her heart, is ride or die, ambitious and knows what she wants. go-getter through and through.

damien haas: kenshi. is almost definitely a psychic, values honor, besties with shayne, is a GOOD DAD!!!!!!! (fuck mkx’s portrayal of kenshi as a father tbh!!!!!!! takeda deserves better and SO DOES KENSHI!), is 1000% a cat person, has telekinesis probably, kitanas. knows a lot of shit, is lowkey shady af, helps scorpion in the new timeline (which... damien and lasercorn are... mind brothers), helps the Kombat Kids train bc they need it

flitz: kotal kahn. sun god, can and will turn into a lion at any moment, probably just glows sometimes for fun, is real into jade (which. aren’t we all.), is less interested in conquering and more into internal affairs and uniting people, proud of his body (bc kotal’s always shirtless, y’know.), would definitely drink blood for youth and sustenance. is able to teleport and has telekinesis, but it’s just w/e y’know!

rhett & link: raiden. the protector(s) of earthrealm and savior of the MK storyline, all-powerful immortal gods, are like WAY too fucking tall, did i mention that raiden is an elder god and that rhett & link literally saved our asses? gods, truly.

defy executives: shang tsung. old-ass, musty-ass, soul-stealing bitch, is liu kang’s arch-nemesis, brought sindel back to life which literally almost killed everyone in the MK timeline until they were brought back due to the time shenanigans. fuckin’ dusty soul-grabbing bastards that don’t even have good fatalities smh.

[transgender-scout]

Okay I found a pdf online of the Angel experiment and started reading it last night when I couldn’t sleep. It turned into less of a list of me complaining and more of a reaction as I relived my life in 6th grade. I’ve got the first four chapters + the prologue so I’ll do 5 chapters at a time. To keep from clogging dashes I’m going to drop this bad boy under the cut.

Book 1:

Prologue

•Oh my god I actually missed these prologues where the protagonist talks so dramatically to the reader like this. Gives me a real animorphs vibe hell yeah

•OH MY GOD 14 I USED TO THINK THAT WAS SO OLD WHAT HAPPENED

•WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO RELEASE A LITERAL CHILD INTO THE WORLD LIKE THIS

•God I’m losing it this sounded like a deviant art bio

•Oh god I see where I got my flare for dramatic introductions

•It always bothered me that they’re only 2% bird. I feel like that might have given them some patches of feathers maybe instead of wings and improved hearing and sight and strength and metabolism an

•There it is again-“the only experiments to make it past infancy” I have a couple of books’ worth of proof that says that’s wrong. Yeah sure Max probably didn’t know about everything that was going on at the school but don’t sound so definitive about this. What is this, supernatural?

•Also why were the Erasers the only ones who could morph? Wouldn’t it be better to have wings that could morph into your back?? More useful???

•Also I hope the internet taught them about furries so they could make snide jokes tinged with nervous laughter about how Erasers are furries.

•“Welcome to our nightmare” GOD THAT'S SO 2005

•I still have no idea what Max meant by “if you read this story, you become part of the experiment.” I don’t see any wings popping out of my back, Miss, I’d like a refund.

Chapter 1

•GODDD NOW I SEE WHERE I GET MY WRITING STYLE I HATE THISSS

•Also still not sure what the whole point of this dream sequence was besides padding out a first chapter (which honestly? Mood). Any insight?

•W-if the Erasers are chasing after Max, why the fuck do they have bloodhounds? Isn’t wolf smelling on par, if not better than dogs’?? I understand this is a dream but like. Yo.

•Everyone always draws Max’s wings like eagle wings and they’re even colored like that in the manga, but the wiki says they resemble hawk wings. Hm.

Chapter 2

•Also the E shaped house always bugged me, too. The way it sounds, it’s not secluded by trees or anything, but Max says they’re totally hidden?? Surely someone goes hiking in the mountains around there.

•Ah yes. Jeb. Bastard man.

•Wait did he just. Fuckin up and leave? Like in the middle of the night like “bye kids gonna go get some milk” and never came back? How fucked up is that?

•And how the fuck did he expect three 12 year olds to take care of a 9 year old, a 6 year old, and a 4 year old by themselves??

•No doctors. Is Max part of the anti vaxx movement? Surely the folks at the lab weren’t like “well obviously they need all their shots if they’re to function normally in society and not die of chickenpox.”

•Also I like how dramatically this chapter ends. He literally could have kept going djsjfjsfn

Chapter 3

•Why is Gazzy a walking potty humor joke? That literally comes into play once in like the third to last book. #GiveGazzyTheCharacterDevelopmentHeDeserves2k19

•I forgot if this was mentioned but how do they know Gazzy and Angel are siblings? Is it just because they look similar?

•IGGY. SON.

•Also I’m remembering every page from the manga in like super high definition rn

•I saw someone else discuss this, but where in the fuck do they get food from?? Max makes it sound like she’s never gone into real society before and a 14 year old buying at least $1000 worth of groceries every week seems super sketch to literally any place ever.

•It always struck me as weird that Angel likes cozy places considering she lived in a dog crate for the first few years of her life.

•It’s so weird to me that literally the only person who got powers was Angel. The rest develop their (single use) powers along the way whenever it was convenient but I guess she just started out with hers? Idk I literally have no room to talk tho one of my ocs has inexplicable mind reading powers too lol

Chapter 4

•JDJSFJ THE CONVO AB THE STRAWBERRIES IS SO SHORT AND FORCED FJSJFJSJK I know it’s just to start the plot but shakfjajfjwj???

•CHAPTER 4 IS LITERALLY A PARAGRAPH LONG WHAT IN THE HELL

•Oh also why don’t they ever use Gazzy’s voice mimic thing?? JP could have made things where it was voice locked but Gazzy could have had a personality and been like “yo guys I got this!”

•Also how in the world can an 8 year old perfectly mimic a 14 year old’s voice? I’m guessing it’s an implied bird thing maybe.

•“Most of us had [weird abilities].” LITERALLY ONLY TWO OF YOU DO.

Chapter 5

•Oof trained? I can see why Jeb would train the kids to fight but like,,, yikes. Those are literal babies,,,,, plss

•Also I thought it was weird how they could just clap their hands around the Eraser’s ears and their eardrums would just fuckin pop. Do wolves really work like that? Someone who knows more about wolves than me look that up.

•Honestly?? The flock should have tons of scars n shit from all the times they’ve fought the Erasers. I’d really have liked to hear them come up at some point.

•Was there a reason they only wanted Angel or…? It’s been a long time since I read the series. From what Max was saying, pretty much half flock was out cold and would have been easy pickings for the Erasers to take back to the lab.

•Well the one thing I can say is that at least Ari is acting like a jealous seven year old.

•Lowkey wish there’d been more time to establish Ari, in hindsight. While we do get his view point in later books, we still really didn’t even get to know much about him. I’m not sure if that was for a reason or just a character who didn’t get developed. I wish there had at least been a name drop or something in the priori chapters like “I’m pretty sure Jeb had a son. Wonder where he went. Oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯”

•Also I forgot again but was there a reason Jeb didn’t bring Ari along?? Like, he couldn’t have done the same things as the flock, sure, but at least he would be there with his dad and like, other kids near his age to interact with. Did we ever get any info ab Ari’s mom? Again, shitty memory.

[stagjmes]

❛  if there’s one thing the gods love, it’s tragedy. with wings that burn and boys that fall. ❜

—wait a second, is that HIM, the PUREBLOOD sorted into GRYFFINDOR house? their name is JAMES POTTER but they share a startling likeness with AUBREY JOSEPH. in their SEVENTH YEAR, they’re known as the SHEPHERD, probably because they are CHARMING but DEPENDENT. i wonder what side they’ll end up on at the end.

james henry potter ( named for two his two grandfathers, maternal and paternal respectively ) was born on april 4th, 1960 to two of the most loving parents a child could have.

fleamont and euphemia had been trying for a child for years. they’d been together for basically all of time, having been that typical good-looking, well liked couple in hogwarts that everyone always just assumes will get married ( spoiler alert: they did ), however had had to postpone kids due to fleamont’s brief stint as a professional quidditch player for eight years following their graduation. after that, they would try every month for a child, and after many years of disappointment, eventually gave up. it was during this time that fleamont developed the sleekeazy hair potion which only added to their immense wealth. 

finally at age forty-one, they were surprised with the arrival of james. obviously, they saw him as their miracle child, and as such he was pampered and completely spoiled from the moment he was born.

i cannot stress enough how much this spoiled upbringing shaped james into the person he is today. if you’re wondering why he was ever an arrogant prick, it’s because he was always used to getting absolutely everything he ever wanted. he grew up with money, he grew up with fame and with every bit of attention he could garner, and so it was really no wonder he was a bit of an asshole by the time he started at hogwarts.

obviously, james had a pretty cushy childhood, and as such, shit didn’t start getting real until he started at hogwarts.

it took all of three seconds for the hat to sort him into gryffindor, and i guess you could say he pretty much considered himself to be the gem of the house. he was the absolute epitome of a gryffindor, basically considered him the poster boy and all but expected everyone to love him.

really did not help his ego that everyone did

in typical sterotype-gryffindor fashion, james hated slytherin. he had always been taught growing up that purists were basically the root of all evil, and his father had had no qualms in lumping all these people in with the house of the snakes. james and his friends took a particular disliking to severus snape almost immediately for the poncy way in which he seemed to believe he was superior to all for his intelligence and his house status, and this dislike only grew when lily evans was tossed into the mix, too.

for basically the first four or five years of hogwarts, james really was that stereotypical arrogant asshole that he’s often made out to be. he always got everything he asked for, he was incredibly popular and incredibly intelligent, he had the most amazing friends and his eyes on the most amazing girl. he was set!! shit was good!!

shit was not good, though. definitely was not. 

despite having known of remus’ furry little problem since second year, things didn’t really start to settle in james how awful it was until third or fourth year. he hated seeing his friend in pain, he hated that he couldn’t help, and so he rallied the boys to put into action their worst plan yet!!!!

becoming animagi!!!!

it took fucking forever, obviously, but by the end of fourth year they did it!! we stan icons

except then in fifth year shit hit the fan again in just, like… so many ways

first, it was the whole severus ‘mudblood’ situation. honestly, james was absolutely furious. he’d always hated snape but this just made everything 1000 times worse. even if it had happened to anyone else, he would have been fuming. but for it to have happened to lily like… yikes.

this was also a horrible time for james though because lily rejected him for the thousandth time. like, look, what a yikes thing to think when she was just called a mudblood, but frankly he was sick of being rejected and he was sick of being the asshole who kept pressuring her so that was the breaking point — he gave up on her. 

and tbh, he changed a lot from here on out. grew up!! became a better person bc he saw how horrible snap was and decided he was sick of horrible people!! saw, recognised and acknowledged that just bc he was hot and intelligent and rich he wasn’t always going to get everything he wanted ( see: miss evans ) and just generally learned that oh shit the world doesn’t revolve around him!!!

oh and then there was that whole thing with sirius and snape and Remus the Werewolf and ohhhh boyyyy…. that infuriated him.

he loves his bros so much and y’all know he would die for them, but to see his friend abuse remus’ pain and suffering for his own gain was heart wrenching. it just pushed him further to pull him in line, to realise that not everything was about games, or petty rivalry, or ‘ getting the girl ’ — life  heartache and mistakes and it was never going to go the way he wanted it to.

now look, this isn’t all to say that james is now a Super Strict, Super Intense, Brooding Weirdo. he’s still a bit of a child, and he’s still a bit of an arrogant prick, but ultimately what wins out is his morals — every time. he wants to lead the world to a better place, without war and without hate, he wants everyone to have the same opportunities he had as a kid and he wants nothing more than for blood purity to be eradicated.

get that shit outta my house!!! gross!!!!!!

now in his final year, james is always flipping between taking his role as head boy deadly serious and turning it into one big game of mischief. he’s still a marauder at heart, after all, and has definitely abused his power sometimes for the benefit of fun and games, but when it comes down to it, he can be very strict and lowkey paternal. the leader really just…. popped right outta him, it came to play and it came hard, and really you’d think he’s minister for magic with how serious he treats it sometimes.

I hate him

he’s a lot less intense with his hatred for slytherin’s. he has come to recognise that not everyone from that lifestyle is going to be the same, not everyone who grew up a certain way or was sorted into a certain house is going to think with a deadly mind, and while he’s still a bit wary, he’s a lot more relaxed about it, especially as head boy ( gotta at least pretend shit’s fair !!! )

ok i’m so tired this is abt to turn into a rambling mess

uHhhHHh he’s very dependent as in like… boi cannot go a week without his friends. he is used to having people to bounce off, that’s always the type of leader he has been, and as much as he would probably be amazing at anything on his own, he’s never really tried. too scared!! i hate him!!!!!

super unforgiving. like, if you have gotten on his bad side…. i’m sorry. it is going to be very difficult to return from there. his moral compass is pretty black and white, you’re either good or your bad, and if you’ve done something he considers bad wELL sucks to be you, i guess. sorry not sorry.

takes his quidditch very seriously tbh. so many people have told him he needs to be a pro like his dad, but he’s like haha fuck you i know what i wanna do ( hint hint: he wants to rule that goddamn auror office, make that shit far more efficient then he thinks it is now ). but srsly, he’s so intense abt the game and it really like… idk gets him in the zone, keeps him level-headed in amongst all this chaos.

i don’t know what im saying anymore pls send help

uhhhhh he’s smart. i guess. straight a’s and shit idk. just very naturally intelligent, finds everything he does easy, like.. really is that asshole who is just good at everything he does.

i’ve run out of things to say, pls just love him

[theonceoverthinker]

OUAT 3X10 - The New Neverland

Ooh! A new episode of Once Upon a Time! I can’t wait to see what Emma, Regina, Snow, and their other com-PAN-ions are up to today!

...You laughed. You can admit it.

...Review’s under the cut. You know what to do!

Press Release

The residents of Storybrooke are overjoyed upon the return of Henry and our heroes from Neverland. But unbeknownst to them, a plan is secretly being put into place by a well-hidden Pan that will shake up the very lives of the townspeople. Meanwhile, in the Fairy Tale Land that was, Snow White and Prince Charming’s honeymoon turns out to be anything but romantic when they go in search of a mythical being that could stop Regina cold in her tracks.

Main Thoughts - Characters/Stories/Themes and Their Effectiveness

Past

Okay, so to start off, this flashback is admittedly a little pointless. Other than the theme of moments -- something so loose, it could’ve just been discussed in the present and the episode would’ve been fine as just a present events compilation -- there’s nothing that this story does to enhance the main one.

That having been said, I think it’s great! While something meatier could’ve gone here, I can’t honestly object that much when a story is just good. And the conflict between Snow and David is really solid. It’s one of those times where it doesn’t feel fully weighted in one direction. Like, we’re supposed to be on David’s side by the end of it, but Snow’s POV is completely understandable, especially after everything she’s been through (Not to mention, her confidence boost from “Lost Girl”). I like the idea of Snow being so caught up in he worries over Regina that she almost destroys her chance at happiness.

THAT having been said, I found the scene where Snow and Charming discuss turning Regina to stone to be so annoying. Charming references the flashback in “The Cricket Game,” a flashback that I LOATHE because of how much of a waste of time it is and how much of an idiot it makes Snow. And it gets worse. David says that they shouldn’t turn Regina to stone because Snow stayed her execution during that flashback when the resolution of that flashback was that Snow regretted that decision. Like, without this scene, the flashback would’ve not only been completely serviceable, but actually better for its absence!

Present

The opening of the present is just so amazingly shot. There’s this unequivocally happy tone from our mains and side characters that’s so satisfying, that for a moment, even knowing what was going on with Henry, I actually got swept up in it. It’s purely fantastic framing because you know this is exactly what they were going for.

And it kind of carries through throughout the rest of the episode. It feels like an epilogue at times, discussing resolution-y subjects like who (if anyone) will Emma end up with, establishing more of a co-parent-y relationship between Emma and Regina, curing David of his ails, having Rumple consider his future, and allowing for the minor characters to achieve their happy endings. Honestly, only when we cut to Henry do we get remember that the story is continuing, and I like it. It’s a subtle build of tension and will show just how much Pan’s curse will fuck everyone over in the next episode.

I also really liked the Emma and Regina conflict in this episode. It feels like the natural continuation of everything they’ve had to work through over the past two and a half seasons and was smartly placed just after the baby Henry flashbacks.

All Encompassing

This whole episode is the most lowkey David centric ever. Like, he’s in a supporting role, but it’s like the main supporting role. He gives out advice, he interacts with so many characters, and it’s just great! David’s character never needed to be a major major character and I feel like this episode captured the best of him.

“Moments” is the key theme of the episode. It’s interesting that the idea of moments plays more of a part in the flashback to our next episode, but I do like how the concept is introduced and implemented here. While the concept didn’t warrant an entire flashback, the idea of life having good and bad moments that just need to be felt and enjoyed when they can was a good basis for a Snow and Charming story with a good follow-through in the present with Emma. There’s a good contrast between those who can celebrate moments and someone who might not have that luxuary.

Insights - Stream of Consciousness

-The town celebration is really a thing of beauty (And kind of tragedy given that Henry’s not Henry...those Grumpy and Granny hugs are either sad as hell for that reason or funny as fuck because Pan is hugging all of these strangers and is probably realizing that his life just became a fantastical episode of Full House).

-You can tell how Jared loved every fucking second of being Pan! XD The dude lives for evil Henry!

-”That’s the last time I don’t listen to you.” ...When you can see the future, there’s irony fucking EVERYWHERE!

-You know, I just realized that Neal and Belle never had a proper introduction. For one thing, why is Belle not saying “Oh my fuck! You’re alive!” (That’s totally how she’d say it too XD ). For another, I’d have loved to see a proper introduction between the two of them. I need more Neal :( .

-Also would’ve liked the moment where Rumple ditches the cane to get a bit more umph to it. Like, that cane has been as much a part of him as the red cap is to Mario and it’s such a symbol of his cowardice that it would’ve been better to see it go.

-*Looks at a dude in a red beanie* The fuck you do to Smee, you little bitch?

-Okay, that Darling hug was fucking beautiful!

-Also, Snow giving Regina that level of cred was just beautiful! I found it to be a really good follow up to both what she saw in “Save Henry” and Regina’s harsh, but effective actions in “Nasty Habits.”

-Thoughts on how the reception went after Regina invaded the wedding? I’d like to think Snow and Charming played it cool and confident for the guests, but, like we’re seeing, were reeling on the inside.

-”Steal her magic.” Well, in one realm, you actually DO that! The results were...mixed, to say the least. BUT we got Alice, the best person ever out of the deal so it was ultimately worth it.

-So I have to wonder: If Regina hadn’t made these threats, would Snow have still wanted to go to the Summer Palace? Like, it seems to connect really well to her parents, so i could totally see Snow doing that.

-Damn. Grumpy is just the ultimate support. He’s on better terms with Charming, but is still 1000% loyal to Snow.

-Plenty of cell space?! Storybrooke needs an equivalent to juvie! Like, Felix is a villain for sure, but he’s a kid! Jail -- which in Storybrooke is basically full-on solitary confinement -- seems a little excessive.

-”As long as I’m alive, that boy will never see the light of day.” ...Yeah. About that…

-”Her name is Tinker Bell.” I actually fucking clapped. Yes, Queen! Slay and filet that shady shimmering shithead for what she did to Tink!

-”You don’t believe in yourself anymore.” FUCK YOU, BLUE. Look, I’ve said in past reviews that Blue’s not as much shady as she is the world’s strictest and assholey beauraucrat, but being that kind of person WILL merit a level of scorn. Look at that almost half smile on her face. Keegan plays that well. “How can I believe in you if you can’t even do that?” FUCK YOU!

-”I need a drink.” You and me both! Shame I can’t get a drink at 8am!

-I love that emphasis David puts on the word “threat” in the woods. He’s nagging it up!

-You know, Pan kind of got the ball rolling on Emma and Regina’s active non-animosity filled co-parenting.Give the dude a little credit.

-How is Pan so unimpressed by Henry’s room? Like, that’s a nice room! With all sorts of tech and comics and stuff! Be a little more impressed, you little shit!

-”I’ll protect you. No matter what.” And the award for the most adorable non-Regal Believer Regal Believer moment goes to… *cries*

-Prince Charming, everyone, number one causes of deforestation in the Enchanted Forest. XD

-”Are you sure you want to condemn Regina to a fate like that?” Dude, she killed Snow’s dad (Who to be fair, was pretty much shit, but you guys didn’t know it at the time), indirectly killed your mom, tried to kill you, poisoned Snow, AND ruined your wedding! I love Regina and I’m so happy she got redeemed, but at the time of this episode, being turned to stone was rather warranted.

-”Killing her wasn’t the answer.” And then she decided at the end of that episode that it was!

-”Last time, she threatened us.” No she didn’t. She regretted not causing MORE death!

-SHEEP BROS!

-Snow, David. Did you really schedule your lunch to coincide with Emma and Neal’s date? That was...bad planning. Like, you don’t even do that with Killian!

-”Does he eat with his mouth open?” Either Charming has misophonia or that was a Kristoph reference!

-Killian...I’m honestly not sure what to make with that Tink scene. On one hand, I see it as Killian trying in vain to get over Emma, but being unable to, showing that he really does love her. BUT it also comes off as a “you still have a ways to go” moment because Killian’s flirting can be a little...really off putting. I don’t know exactly what to make of that because the framing is a little wonky there.

-”Perhaps.” That having been said, the misunderstanding at Granny’s with Emma, Tink, and Killian had me laughing out loud. That one’s better at insinuating “you fucking dork.”

-YES, SHADOW! GIVE THAT BLUE BITCH A SCARE! KILLING HER MIGHT BE A TOUCH EXCESSIVE, BUT IT’S STILL PRETTY FUN TO WATCH!

-Also, this park is just beautiful. I really wish we spent more time in later seasons at these parks. Like, they’re such pretty places to have scenes instead of the pretty generic looking woods that we got in the later seasons.

-Evil Jared Gilmore cracks me the fuck up!

-Not gonna lie, a dungeon crawl like this would make for the best honeymoon ever!

-”Promise you won’t touch anything?” “Promise.” LIAR!

-”Rumple.” I love how Belle just nagged him. It’s a very Belle-like way of encouraging him to do good without making a whole speech of things.

-Okay, so even the “Entering Storybrooke” sign makes me whimper like a little bitch, too!

-Ooh! I love that Golden Swan moment! Rumple and Emma’s dynamic isn’t shown a lot, but when it is, it’s really something special. While not enough to earn it the “Favorite Dynamic” of the episode, it is incredibly cool to see Emma and Rumple come to that moment of begrudging respect and trust at the town line.

-Holy crap! The rest of the cast pulled off “Penry’s” escape from Pandora’s Box so well. Everyone immediately grows tense and grabs their loved ones. They’re actually scared shitless, a testament to how terrifying pan is.

-Damn, in hindsight, this is dark as hell. Emma has a gun to Henry’s head, and even though he’s in another body, this is a kid!

-Awww! I love Henry hugging Snow and David! We don’t always get a ton of moments of them together, so this was really special!

-I actually needed a solid minute to recover from the way that “Han” just smoothly magicked Regina. Like, that was so freakin’ fluid! “I know. That’s why this was so easy.” Pan, you bastard!

-These hugs with Henry in Pan’s body crack me up for some reason.

-I’m not sure if Storybrooke being the New Neverland is an upgrade or a downgrade. On one hand, you get all of the modern tech and indoor plumbing. On the other hand, no pixie dust and the suburbs are boring.

Arcs - How Are These Storylines Progressing?

The Mission to Save Henry - I love how in so many ways, this feels like an epilogue and then is like FUCK NO. So much comes together and it feels like everything’s winding down, but the action continues in such a fun whirlwind of a way! This whole arc has been a roller coaster and a fun one at that!

Rumple’s Redemption - “On the house.” How much you want to bet Rumple was DYING inside as he said that? “I’m sure if I ever needed a favor, you’d be more than receptive.” Rumple, my boy. You’ve come quite far, but you still have so far to go! But seriously, you do see more of how Rumple’s come into his own redemption. First, his focus is squarely on making Belle happy. Second, he does actually show that he has trust in Emma by allowing her to see what’s up with Pan.

Regina’s Redemption - We get two really great steps in showing how far Regina’s come. First, she stands up for Tinkerbell against Blue. While Regina’s had no problem standing up to Blue in the past, it’s always been for her own sake. This time, she’s standing up for Tink’s sake! The second instance is her grief that Pan fooled her. I say this because it’s so clear how at this point, she genuinely wants Henry to be with her because it’s his choice and how saddened she was by the fact that when her dream came true, it was only a lie. I love Regal Believer and seeing how much Regina’s broken that chain of abuse is something so special.

Favorite Dynamic

Emma and David. There were a lot of great dynamics on display in this episode, but I love how we got our first real David and Emma moment. Daddy Charming is one of the lesser explicitly shown dynamics on the show, but interactions like these show just how powerful it is. There’s an adorably bit of father/daughter banter between them when talking about their love life, David gives Emma solid honest-to-goodness advice that actually does come back later on in the episode, and he’s so comforting. He knows Emma’s dealt with so much and he just wants her to be happy. The scene they share provides a nice calm before the storm and shows that while Emma and David didn’t have that friendship that Emma and Snow had, they do have that strong bond.

Writer

This is Andrew Chambliss’ first solo episode! And honestly, not a bad job! Andrew did a great job balancing screen time between the eight mains and roughly eight minor characters in half an episode’s worth of time, and that’s honestly impressive! The stories themselves are relatively simpler, with the present storyline using resolution as a cleverly deceptive way of making it seem more sprawling than it is.

Rating

10/10. This is an honestly great episode. While not perfect, it provides for a lot of nice moments between characters, an underlying tenseness that is well delivered on when it’s ready for shit to get real, and a more unified Storybrooke.

Flip My Ship - The Home of All Things “Shippy Goodness”

Ariel/Eric - These two are so fucking lovey dovey and their reunion is just the cutest sweetest thing ever!

Rumbelle - Like, from the second -- the SECOND -- these two see each other when Rumple gets off the ship, that’s all the other sees. They’re laser-glued to the other. And the hug is just so perf! Also, THE UP PARALLELS STARTED HERE WITH THE FUCKING TIE! I KNOW IT’S NOT THE SAME KIND OF TIE, BUT FUCK! THAT’S AMAZING! XD Also also, the scene at the shop as a whole is just so romantic. There’s a beautiful theme to it and Robert Fucking Carlyle owns my soul. Every line is just so pretty, and I say that both as a testament to the writing and Robert himself. And Emiliee is no slouch either! She’s so in love and there’s an utter sincerity to it.

Captain Swan - Killian’s decision to back off was just the sweetest. It genuinely shows how he cares for Henry and Emma and doesn’t want to pressure either of them. It doesn’t mean he won’t pursue her if she goes after him, but he wants to let the chips fall, even if they aren’t in his favor. That’s just...honestly, I love it. Killian, your looks aren’t the only devilishly handsome part of you. <3 Also, I like how Emma remarks that Killian is still an option. When David’s trying to convince her to go out with Neal, she points out that he’s trying to keep her away from Killian.

Swan Fire - Snow is just the biggest Swan Fire shipper and it’s pretty cute! Also, Neal’s way of asking Emma out was equally adorable! It takes a degree of pressure off of her and is asked in such a cute way! It’s got a nice youthfulness to it! Also, let’s talk about how sad Neal is when it looks like Emma won’t show. Also also, Emma later implies that her date with Neal would be “enjoying herself.”

Snowing - David loves the fuck out of Snow and that makes me feel all of the things! He wants to enjoy his marriage to her and wants her to be able to relax and enjoy it with him! BUT he also knows her so freakin’ well. He KNOWS when she sneaks off and is just there waiting for her (In one of the show’s most underrated funny moments). And he’s totally willing to give up his honeymoon to follow her into danger! Prince Charming, everyone! And to some extent, Snow KNEW he was gonna do that because she brought the sword. Also, the couple banter in this episode is just so en pointe! I especially love David’s speech to Snow about how he knew what he was getting into when they fell in love. And the kisses and inevitable sex at the end is just the best! And in the present, that BIG DAMN KISS once he’s cured! It’s so beautiful!

-----

Thank you all for reading and to the fab folks at @watchingfairytales!

Next time, we’re coming home! <3

Season 3 Total (96/220)

Writer’s Scores: Adam and Eddy (19/60) Kalinda Vazquez (17/40) Andrew Chambliss (27/50) Jane Espenson (10/30) David Goodman (20/40) Robert Hull (20/40) Christine Boylan (20/20)* Daniel Thomsen (20/30)

* Indicates that their work for the season is complete

Operation Rewatch Archives

[malvchis]

hello it’s violet Back with another late intro ! this is me from the future :-) i rewrote this intro like a little over three months ago and i’m too excited to play him to write it a third time so just like this post and i’ll come to you for plotting ! but until then here’s my angsty / lowkey softie / highkey garbage Son <3 for future reference i’d like to say this vine is also 1000% him okay thank u for ur time

a CHARLES MELTON lookalike just rolled into new york city in their PORSCHE 911 SPORT CLASSIC. MALACHI ROTHSCHILD just had a birthday bash for his TWENTY-THIRD  birthday. i doubt he’ll make it here in new york city since i hear he tends to be DOGMATIC, but on the other hand he is STOIC. ( cismale & he/him )  

「 *.:｡*𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓽𝓼. 」

FULL NAME: malachi saul rothschild. NICKNAME(S): mal, m, kai. AGE: twenty two. DATE OF BIRTH: july 15th, 1996. ASTROLOGY SIGN: cancer sun, aries moon, capricorn rising. GENDER: male. PRONOUNS: he / him / his. SEXUAL ORIENTATION: heterosexual. LANGUAGES SPOKEN: english, spanish, some greek. OCCUPATION: musician. BIOLOGICAL PARENTS: cassandra & wren rothschild. STEP PARENT(S): tba. SIBLINGS: lilia rothschild ( sixteen ). PET(S): none. CHILDREN: none. RELIGION: grew up in a catholic household, but agnostic. DRINK / DRUGS / SEX: yes / yes / yes. FACECLAIM: calum hood. EYE COLOR: brown. HAIR: brunette. HEIGHT: 6′2. RIGHT/LEFT HANDED: right. TATTOOS: i’ll come up with this later but he def has a spongebob tattoo on his ankle he got when he was drunk TRAITS: diligent, altruistic, reverent, dogmatic, taciturn, brooding. NOTABLE HABITS: smokes at least three cigarettes a day, zones out during most conversations, drums his fingers against any surface when he’s nervous. NECESSITIES: pack of marlboro cigarettes, airpods, vintage band tees. LIKES: sweatshirts, naps, driving, adrenaline, performing in front of huge crowds. DISLIKES: cantaloupe, sleeping alone, not meeting someone’s standards, materialism. DISORDER(S): generalized anxiety.

「 *.:｡*𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓻𝔂. 」  

so my backstory is gonna be pretty similar since i haven’t changed that at all and it’s already pretty fleshed out heh

basically malachi’s parents are well-known by his father owning one of the top 10 law firms in the us and his mom is a child actress turned real housewife star ( think brandi glanville or kyle richards if u watch rhobh )

growing up with a younger sister, he was expected to be the golden child of the family and for a little while he was just that

he got good grades and did whatever his dad told him to do like growing up malachi looked up to his dad so much that was his idol

so taking over the law firm and all was fine because he wanted to be just like him u know

then one day at a friend’s house he played guitar hero and his life changed…. Forever :-)

i wish i was kidding but it literally did

he bought the game and would play it for HOURS straight but it wasn’t a real guitar so he went out a bought one and the rest is history <3

malachi was taught to always say the right thing and never truly learned how to express himself so he did it through writing and eventually the guitar and writing kinda tied in together

and of course his dad didn’t approve heh ! which was understandable at first because his grades started slipping in middle school and he kinda got lost in music

also he kinda stopped taking himself so serious and lowkey became the class clown charm is all apart of the rockstar lifestyle it makes sense fight me

so he was getting in trouble more frequently and his dad was getting sick of paying off whoever he needed to make it all go away u know

and i feel like malachi was given internships to go to every summer when he turned 15/16 and he never went to those :-)

it got to the point where his dad would like physically throw his guitar to smash it and he’d threaten to cut malachi off if he didn’t take his future seriously ( tw: drug mention ) and so malachi had to resort to selling his mom’s antidepressants at parties to pay for his equipment because his dad was cutting him off

and he’d try to reach out to his mom but she’s honestly off in her own world and she loves pretending everything’s fine sdjksk it’s a lil dark but it’s FINE

so i think for the sake of keeping the family intact he played along for a little and was basically his dad’s puppet for his junior/senior year of hs

but he dropped out last minute and moved to new york to start his music career all by himself fun :-)

he’s lived in new york for about 5 years now so keep that in mind ok omg i think that’s all

「 *.:｡*𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓸𝓷𝓪𝓵𝓲𝓽𝔂. 」

before i start i’d just like to say his vc is joji but for purposes of him performing at coachella with his boys, his second vc is mac demarco !

i’m picky and idk which voice i like better for malachi so we’ll see :)

ok so in my first intro i said he’s a lowkey softie but i was wrong

he’s a HUGE softie 90% of the time it’s bad but my excuse is that he’s a cancer so he’s sensitive aubrey

he doesn’t really show it unless it’s through song writing though because he’s a cliche but that’s the best way for him to do it

he’s a very boombox over the shoulder kind of person 

definitely a mix of being rebellious and stubborn ! he doesn’t really know how to listen to anybody besides himself because listening to himself has gotten this far so u know

basically that gifset of kim k going “thanks for your lovely advice but i’m not gonna take it”

relationship-wise it takes him months of fully getting over someone but it also takes him .5 seconds to fall in love with someone new he’s gross

omg he’s also super protective of people he cares about that’s his redeeming quality for sure

he’ll fully punch out anybody that messes with his friends and he’s done it before

oh also he somehow always gets into bar fights ? like 90% of the time without fail it’s either his drunk ass picking on some guy 10 times bigger than him or the other way around so that’s his life honestly

he’s not /as/ reckless as he used to be but if anyone does something dumb he’s definitely there encouraging it

but he’s also the type to just stay home for 3 days straight playing video games or writing music or napping since he loves those

don’t get me wrong though if he’s in the mood to party he’ll go all out and do c*ke off of everyone

he’s a very all or nothing person like there’s no such thing as moderation with him and he doesn’t know her

also he’s kinda oblivious most of the time because he’s off in his own world

basically he’s dumb and he never listens to anyone ever thanks

okay so thank god i actually wrote out some wanted connections and honestly most of them are open now so let’s go to town and just mash a bunch of plots together skdjsk

any brotp plot like “the boys are back” hsm 3 kinda thing thanks

brotps apply to any gender though he needs friends akjskdk

family friends

cousins maybe idk?? anything familial is fine with me

childhood friends <3 <3

one-sided crush that’s probably on his side

first love / exes

literally any exes plot i have pretty good ideas for these that mostly ended badly because of him rip

i just have so many songs that i wanna dedicate to people for plots please

BUT we can do exes that ended good or bad because of your muse i’m not picky

good / bad influence

roommates omg if u have to live with mal good luck but it’ll be FUN someone volunteer

enemies or some kind of rivalry/competition thing

frenemies :-)

fwb but also enemies with benefits

crushes that never went anywhere

omg a summer fling hello please

just tell me what u want and i’ll come up with something hehe <3

[ofprcngs]

BRANDON ARREAGA — Well, if it isn’t JAMES POTTER, the GRYFFINDOR superstar. For those of you who don’t know HIM, you can spot them sitting with the other SEVENTH years. Most people think that they’re CHARMING and INCISIVE, but they can also seem pretty DEPENDENT and INEXORABLE. Sometimes people call them the SHEPHERD. Sure, they’re a PUREBLOOD, but that doesn’t define them. 

i literally have 0 explanation for why i did this other than i’m in love with him. but also, he’s a mess, so jot that down. if you wanna know more about him ( protip: don’t ) then i recommend checking out his pinterest and then i dunno.... contemplate why i’m a punk ass bitch, i guess. enjoy this mess. plot with me. ily.

james henry potter ( named for two his two grandfathers, maternal and paternal respectively ) was born on april 4th, 1960 to two of the most loving parents a child could have.

fleamont and euphemia had been trying for a child for years. they’d been together for basically all of time, having been that typical good-looking, well liked couple in hogwarts that everyone always just assumes will get married ( spoiler alert: they did ), however had had to postpone kids due to fleamont’s brief stint as a professional quidditch player for eight years following their graduation. after that, they would try every month for a child, and after many years of disappointment, eventually gave up. it was during this time that fleamont developed the sleekeazy hair potion which only added to their immense wealth. 

finally at age forty-one, they were surprised with the arrival of james. obviously, they saw him as their miracle child, and as such he was pampered and completely spoiled from the moment he was born.

i cannot stress enough how much this spoiled upbringing shaped james into the person he is today. if you’re wondering why he was ever an arrogant prick, it’s because he was always used to getting absolutely everything he ever wanted. he grew up with money, he grew up with fame and with every bit of attention he could garner, and so it was really no wonder he was a bit of an asshole by the time he started at hogwarts.

obviously, james had a pretty cushy childhood, and as such, shit didn’t start getting real until he started at hogwarts. 

it took all of three seconds for the hat to sort him into gryffindor, and i guess you could say he pretty much considered himself to be the gem of the house. he was the absolute epitome of a gryffindor, basically considered him the poster boy and all but expected everyone to love him.

really did not help his ego to know that everyone did.

in typical sterotype-gryffindor fashion, james hated slytherin. he had always been taught growing up that purists were basically the root of all evil, and his father had had no qualms in lumping all these people in with the house of the snakes. james and his friends took a particular disliking to severus snape almost immediately for the poncy way in which he seemed to believe he was superior to all for his intelligence and his house status, and this dislike only grew when lily evans was tossed into the mix, too.

for basically the first four or five years of hogwarts, james really was that stereotypical arrogant asshole that he’s often made out to be. he always got everything he asked for, he was incredibly popular and incredibly intelligent, he had the most amazing friends and his eyes on the most amazing girl. he was set!! shit was good!!

shit was not good, though. definitely was not. 

despite having known of remus’ furry little problem since second year, things didn’t really start to settle in james how awful it was until third or fourth year. he hated seeing his friend in pain, he hated that he couldn’t help, and so he rallied the boys to put into action their worst plan yet!!!!

becoming animagi!!!!!!

it took fucking forever, obviously, but by the end of fourth year they did it!! we stan icons

except then in fifth year shit hit the fan again in just, like... so many ways

first, it was the whole severus ‘mudblood’ situation. honestly, james was absolutely furious. he’d always hated snape but this just made everything 1000 times worse. even if it had happened to anyone else, he would have been fuming. but for it to have happened to lily like... yikes. 

this was also a horrible time for james though because lily rejected him for the thousandth time. like, look, what a yikes thing to think when she was just called a mudblood, but frankly he was sick of being rejected and he was sick of being the asshole who kept pressuring her so that was the breaking point --- he gave up on her. 

and tbh, he changed a lot from here on out. grew up!! became a better person bc he saw how horrible snap was and decided he was sick of horrible people!! saw, recognised and acknowledged that just bc he was hot and intelligent and rich he wasn’t always going to get everything he wanted ( see: miss evans ) and just generally learned that oh shit the world doesn’t revolve around him!!!

oh and then there was that whole thing with sirius and snape and Remus the Werewolf and ohhhh boyyyy.... that infuriated him. 

he loves his bros so much and y’all know he would die for them, but to see his friend abuse remus’ pain and suffering for his own gain was heart wrenching. it just pushed him further to pull him in line, to realise that not everything was about games, or petty rivalry, or ‘ getting the girl ’ --- life  heartache and mistakes and it was never going to go the way he wanted it to.

now look, this isn’t all to say that james is now a Super Strict, Super Intense, Brooding Weirdo. he’s still a bit of a child, and he’s still a bit of an arrogant prick, but ultimately what wins out is his morals --- every time. he wants to lead the world to a better place, without war and without hate, he wants everyone to have the same opportunities he had as a kid and he wants nothing more than for blood purity to be eradicated.

get that shit outta my house!!! gross!!!!!!

now in his final year, james is always flipping between taking his role as head boy deadly serious and turning it into one big game of mischief. he’s still a marauder at heart, after all, and has definitely abused his power sometimes for the benefit of fun and games, but when it comes down to it, he can be very strict and lowkey paternal. the leader really just.... popped right outta him, it came to play and it came hard, and really you’d think he’s minister for magic with how serious he treats it sometimes.

i hate him.

he’s a lot less intense with his hatred for slytherin’s. he has come to recognise that not everyone from that lifestyle is going to be the same, not everyone who grew up a certain way or was sorted into a certain house is going to think with a deadly mind, and while he’s still a bit wary, he’s a lot more relaxed about it, especially as head boy ( gotta at least pretend shit’s fair !!! )

ok i’m so tired this is abt to turn into a rambling mess 

uHhhHHh he’s very dependent as in like... boi cannot go a week without his friends. he is used to having people to bounce off, that’s always the type of leader he has been, and as much as he would probably be amazing at anything on his own, he’s never really tried. too scared!! i hate him!!!!!

super unforgiving. like, if you have gotten on his bad side.... i’m sorry. it is going to be very difficult to return from there. his moral compass is pretty black and white, you’re either good or your bad, and if you’ve done something he considers bad wELL sucks to be you, i guess. sorry not sorry.

takes his quidditch very seriously tbh. so many people have told him he needs to be a pro like his dad, but he’s like haha fuck you i know what i wanna do ( hint hint: he wants to rule that goddamn auror office, make that shit far more efficient then he thinks it is now ). but srsly, he’s so intense abt the game and it really like... idk gets him in the zone, keeps him level-headed in amongst all this chaos. 

i don’t know what im saying anymore pls send help

uhhhhh he’s smart. i guess. straight a’s and shit idk. just very naturally intelligent, finds everything he does easy, like.. really is that asshole who is just good at everything he does.

i’ve run out of things to say, pls just love him

WANTED CONNECTIONS

girlfriend: i hate to expose myself as a whole ass jily stan but... here i am i guess. but also, listen: he really thinks he’s over her right now. like, he truly believes his days of pestering lily evans are behind him. it was just a crush! it’s gone! ( spoiler alert: it’s not ) BUT he is so convinced that he has got himself into this relationship which is really just... a mess. like highkey it’s obvious he could never fully love her bc his Heart Belongs to Lily or whatever but he does care for her deeply and has tricked himself into believing it’s love. it’s hard, man. he’s confused. send help.

ex-girlfriend(s): more of above but like... less intense? or more intense! who knows, frankly.

childhood friend(s): i’d die for childhood friends. jake/gina dynamic? iconic. just anything, really.

odd friend: ok like... as i mentioned, he’s still kinda wary of slytherins and ppl who grew up in purist culture, but i would love love love to see someone who was one of the first to show him that not all those people are so bad. like someone from a purist family or the like who was just chill and friendly and actually befriended this asshole even when he was... well, an asshole. it’d be fun, ig. also if they eventually do end up recruited for the de’s bc of family stuff or whatever... bonus points.

rivals: i’m tired. you understand.

[captainimprobable]

Ok I just finished Season 6 of Voltron so here, not asked for or wanted by ANYONE, is my understanding of the relationships between the original paladins. I hate that I love this show. Goddamnit  Shiro--->Keith: So paternal. Shiro is Mr. Dad. Your parents are dead, kid? HERE I AM, MR. DAD. Feels like a father figure/older brother figure. Loves his small gay son Keith--->Shiro: Boy is. Very confused. Probably truly believes he loves Shiro like a brother. Unfortunately actually has v uncomfortable crush on his “big bro”, its weird and gross and he’s pretending he doesn’t notice. “I love you, Shiro.” (shit fuck damn i mean uh) “Like a brother” (NAILED IT)

Shiro--->Lance: Trying very hard to keep his wayward nephew in line but not entirely sure what’s going on in his brain. 1000% certain Lance is bi and thinks everyone else knows it too. (I say this mostly bc I got spoiled and know Shiro’s a Big Gay and honestly it all just fits together in my head) Lance--->Shiro: Vacillates between thinking Shiro is THE COOLEST GODDAMN PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE and being exasperated bc he is sure he knows better.  Sure, Shiro’s the leader but Lance is a VERY ESTABLISHED teenage dropout, thank you very much, and he has IDEAS.

Shiro<--->Pidge: Most adorable Big Bro/Lil Sis pair.  Shiro is so proud of her and thinks she’s one of the smartest people in the universe (which, of course, she fucking is). Pidge loves Shiro a lot, he didn’t replace her Dad or brother but he’s her grizzled extra big brother who has advice and weird hair. Shiro<--->Hunk: Respect each other’s abilities in their perspective fields. Shiro knows Hunk is more than just `his jokes and should probably tell him so. Hunk has a vague sense of admiration of Shiro but it’s realistic, he knows Shiro is human and has weaknesses and probably respects him more for that Keith--->Lance: Oh, Keith has it ALL FIGURED OUT.  Started out that Lance was an idiot who didn’t deserve his time, but as the years (???How long has this been going???) pass he grows to really appreciate the way Lance goes about things.  He’s not just the dumb lovestruck idiot everyone thinks he is, he’s actually pretty smart, and cute, and sometimes when he smiles he gets this tiny little dimple on the left side of his face and-

Lance--->Keith: Begins with “what a fucking tool” but he slowly begins to actually admire the guy?? He’s actually a kind of badass, when Lance thinks about it, and there is NOBODY on the ship more fun to argue with. (That’s it for now, but only because Lance has probably never heard the word “bisexual” and therefore doesn’t realize that his thing for Allura actually has a lot more in common with his thing for Keith than he wants to admit) Keith-->Pidge: She’s cool. Kind of on his periphery and they don’t talk much, but they do have a bond and he’d honestly probably take a bullet for her Pidge--->Keith: Kind of a hot head, and sometimes she wants to smack him a couple of times like “HELLO ANYONE IN THERE HELLO” but she respects his leadership and besides, if he’s good enough for Shiro, she figures he can’t be too bad Keith--->Hunk: Absolutely doesn’t know what to say to him. Respects Hunk’s prowess with machines and stuff but their personalities are so different it’s like speaking two separate languages. Periphery bros. Hunk--->Keith: Actually really likes him, he’s fun to make fun of but also has undeniable talent Lance--->Hunk: Loves his bro so much!!! With him from the beginning, they probably have tons of private jokes. Lance originally probably thought he was a little silly (and still thinks that tbh) but he sees so much more in him. And also loves being silly with him. good bros Hunk--->Lance: Growing up with someone makes you close! Loves messing around and doing random shit with Lance, also lowkey so proud of how far his bro has come Lance--->Pidge: Last to figure out Pidge’s Big Secret. At first kind of upset that he’d been treating a girl like a bro but after literally one conversation with her he’s like “Ah right. That’s my bro Pidge. What a good bro.” Pidge--->Lance: Part of the Galaxy School or Whatever Trio (Pidge, Lance, Hunk) so they’re cool.  Sometimes Pidge sees Lance as an amusing pet, but is secretly proud of Lance’s development and growth Hunk<--->Pidge: MY FAVE!!!! MY KIDS!!! I LOVE THEM!!!! This. THIS. Is how you write a boy/girl best friendship.  Voltron writers fucked up a lot but this they did WELL. These two love each other so much. I fully believe they stay up late some nights having sleepovers, eating cookie dough at 3am and talking about the meaning of the universe. Or, like, fuzzy socks. or both.  Never an awkward moment between them, they are so confident in their friendship and its beautiful.  they clearly respect each other SO MUCH and learn from each other every day. 10/10 god bless Pidge and Hunk amen

[namj00m]

BTS As Boyfriends

Boyfriend!Bangtan

requested: Nope, just wishing any member of BTS were my boyfrend lol 

A/N: I had so much fun with writing these! Most of this is just my personal opinion on how they would be as a boyfriend with a little help from astrology as well. Mostly fluff but does have some nsfw content. I really hope you guys enjoyed these as much as I did. Leave feedback for me as well so I know if I should do anything different or edit anything! Hope you enjoy!

Kim Seokjin 

the sweetest boyfriend you’ll ever have

the only boyfriend you’ll ever want

good looking, charming, other people are jealous of your relationship

dates almost everytime you’re together

loves to spoil when you do go out

“ Ohh baby this would look so good on you, I’m going to buy it for you ”

“ Oh, they even have it in this color! You need every color of this!”

you’re always yelling at him to stop buying you things because you have no more space in your closet

makes you feel bad for yelling at him

ends up buying you more stuff

SUGAR DADDY MATERIAL 👀

always finds a way to make you laugh

a.k.a Dad Jokes for days

which you love

when you first started dating there was no awkwardness

told you right away what he wanted from a relationship

when he was 1000% sure he loved you he would never shut up about it

always opened with his feelings and opinions

if something you said or the way you said something bothered him, he’d tell you

sex with Jin was always amazing

whenever Jin was horny, you’d know  

starts off with slow kisses

quickly escalates to clothes being torn off bodies

vanilla sex but with a twist

soft dom??

lots of talking and eye contact

always worshiped your body

“ how could you be so perfect jagi? “

food play!!!!

always brought food to the bedroom

a lot of foreplay with the food

lots of foreplay in general

buys cute toys to test out

buys cute roleplay outfits

intercourse is always so passionate

this man lives to please his s/o

after sex = more praise + non-stop kissing

goes to the kitchen after resting to cook

when he sees you in his shirt,

he’s ready for round 2

after round 2, cuddling

lots of cuddling

more complaints/more praising

traces his beautiful fingers around your face

watches you fall asleep

kisses your face all over

whispers “ I love you “  numerous times to your sleeping body

Min Yoongi

the softest boyfriend ever

like Yoongi is a romantic man

when in love, he’s in love

writes music about you

composes/writes 1000+ songs about how perfect you are

makes you feel like a queen/king

never stops telling you how beautiful you are

to him, you’re the entire universe and then some

always staring

staring with his cute gummy smile

wants to spend the rest of his life with you

has all your children names and pet names picked out

will be the greatest dad

will spoil all his kids and s/o

he can be my daddy

knows what he wants from your relationship

doesn’t hide it

nor is he subtle about it

loves to cuddle

will cuddle on your butt or chest

cuddles then turn to sex

doesn’t fuck, makes love

TONGUE TECHNOLOGY

will eat you out for days!

loves to watch you squirm

eating you out is his true calling in life

“baby you taste so fucking good.”

a little lazy in the bedroom

switch

can be a dom but likes to be sub

loves watching you ride him

“you ride my cock so well baby. “

always leaves you begging for more

after sex would be soft™ as hell

constantly telling you he loves you

wipes you clean

“ I love you”

changes the sheets

“ I love you so much”

brings your body closer to his

“ I fucking love you so much”

cuddling after sex

small spoon

but will be a big spoon if you complain

hold your hands and places soft kisses on your knuckles

“ how is it I just fucked your brains out and you still look sexy as hell”

“ god I’m so in love with you baby”

short naps after sex

short naps turn into not waking up till the next morning

“after we eat breakfast I want more of you.”

Jung Hoseok

loud loveable boyfriend

used to be your best friends

accidentally kissed and now are dating

the one couple everyone hope last forever

wild and spontaneous dates

always going to new restaurants and trying new things

“ Oh, I like this place better! This will be our new spot!”

surprises you with lunch when your at work/school

also, brings you flowers

calls and texts you to make sure you’re alright

the calls and texts are more frequent when he’s touring

brings backs lots of souvenirs for you

“I saw this in the store in Japan and thought it was cute so I bought it for you”

always brags about you to the guys

“guys, she/he is just the epitome of perfect. I love her/him so much”

wants to be independent

doesn’t want you nagging about him being with the guys

which you understand

bros over and hoes are equal

listens to everything you tell him

loves to listen to your day, whether good or bad

“is your boss still being an ass? I could beat him up for you”

is always trying to make your day better

saying I love you every chance he can

sweetest boyfriend

makes you the happiest you have ever been

no secrets in your relationship

your relationship is as opened as your legs for Hoseok 👀

when he’s home, cuddles

cuddles with very deep conversations

cuddles that are quiet

cuddles with a little bit of kissing

cuddles that lead straight to sex whoops

Jung Hoseok is a freak in the sheets

sex is usually spontaneous

sex EVERYWHERE

sex anytime of the day

opened to anything sex-related

new toys every week

“ we haven’t tried this yet baby, let’s try it now, hmm? “

opened to the idea of having more than just you 2 in bed

rounds

rounds

rounds

unhuman like stamina in the bedroom

rough, aggressive, dominate,

dirty talkkkkk

“ you’re so fucking tight baby.”

“ you like when Daddy fucks you like the little slut you are, huh?”

“ beg for me jagi, let the neighbors know how good I make you feel”

did I mention he’s a freak?

because he is a freak

where do I get me a Jung Hoseok?

always makes sure you are alright after

“did I go too hard baby? I’ll try to be a little softer next time?”

massages every inch of your body

massages lead to more sex ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Kim Namjoon

aesthetic boyfriend

the couple that always matches

calls you late at night/early morning

talks to you about anything and everything

makes you feel like the queen/king that you are

is always talking about you to his parents, members, staff, etc.

he knows more about you than you know about yourself

super protective of you

makes you call him once you’re home safe from visiting him

will fight anyone who makes you sad/mad

strives to make you happy

loves when you buy him collectible figurines

the cutest dork around

whenever he has a music idea, you’re the first person he shows

“how does this sound baby? do you think the fans will love it?“

loves when you show interest in things he’s into

always recommending books to read

makes lots of music playlist for you

a lot of the songs are baby making songs

physical contact always

holds your hand, kisses everywhere, hands all over your body

loves claiming you as his

grabbing the booty is his favorite thing to do with you

dom!Namjoon

not only is sex a stress relief for him, it makes him feel closer to you mentally

freakkkkkkkkkk

DADDY KINK

rough as hell

deep as hell

will destroy your entire being

a minimum of 5 rounds

buys you cute/sexy outfits to wear in the bedroom

lots of foreplay

hours of foreplay before the main course

“keep begging for daddy and I promise I’ll give you what you want.”

loves to hear you, whether it’s you moaning, screaming, begging

“ does daddy make you feel that good baby?”

“If you keep screaming like that, the police are going to show up.”

“you sound so fucking good when I’m fucking your brains out”

always complimenting how perfect your body is

hard spanking

bruises for days/weeks/months

always takes great care of you after sex

“I’m sorry baby, was I too rough tonight?”

asks you if you liked it and if there was anything you didn’t like

he knows you’re the love of his life

will never let you go

#soulmates

I want all of this and then some

Park Jimin

possessive-sweet boyfriend

possessive as in he’s passionate about your relationship

doesn’t want to lose you

loves the fuck out of you

your actually prince charming

really into skinship

like the king of skinship

spoils you bc he loves you

fancy restaurants

new gifts from everywhere he travels to

as a Libra, I can verify this lol I’m always spoiling someone I love

always makes you happy

never wants you sad

super flirty

loves to grab the booty

“your butt is so cute I could grab it all day”

matching couples stuff

matching outfits, matching couple rings, matching phone cases

always taking pictures of you

cute selfies

sends each other ugly selfies of each other

“Wow!! My baby is so perfect. How did I get so lucky!”

doesn’t like to fight

just wants to make babies love

lowkey dom

jk full on dom

can be a bottom

but won’t be a sub

rough kinky sex

always trying new fantasies of his

daddy kink, body worship, bondage, etc

cute sexy lingerie

rips it off

“I know you just bought this baby but I’d rather see you naked”

a fucking tease

loves to hear you beg

“tell me what you want baby. Do you want my fingers? My mouth? My cock? Tell me, baby?”

he’s a giver

so you’ll get whatever you want from him

aftercare is so soft

makes sure you aren’t hurt

“was I too rough baby? Don’t move, let me give you a massage to relax you?”

loves you til the end of time

Kim Taehyung

meme boyfriend

as silly as he is, he’s a devoted boyfriend

a bit reserved at first

but after finally getting used to having you he’s not shy

really wants to spend the rest of his life with you

makes sure you know it

he wants you to understand that he loves his life and wants you to be apart of it

wants you to ask him if you ever need anything because he will get it you for you

gifts

gucci gifts

matching gucci gifts

“ look at this babe. I got us matching shirts!”

loves to love you

not big on pda

but will occasionally hold your hand or give you a quick peck on the lips

now in the bedroom, he won’t be able to keep his hands off of you

always trying new things

dom! Taehyung

no kink will be untried

threesomes, sex in public, choking, spanking, degrading names, etc.

his voice alone could get you off

he’s a bit of a sadist but not overly sadistic

will deny you your orgasm

will have you a crying mess

loves to watch you come undone from his every movement

loves to hear your every moan and groan of pleasure

loves to hear how much you like it

“you like that baby? tell me how much you like that.”

rough sex

bruises and hickies for weeks

he’s open to trying just about anything sexual

the sweetest after sex

makes sure he wasn’t too rough

Jeon Jungkook

THE ULTIMATE BOYFRIEND

but you’d have to wait for him to fall in love

slow lover

but once in love, he’s whipped

makes sure he’s always ready to help you and your needs

remembers everything about you

your birthday, anniversaries, important dates he has them all memorized

wants your reassurance on everything

which you are more than happy to give

serenade you with his honey voice

softest™ boyfriend

honestly the sweetest boyfriend ever

your parents will love him

wants to do anything you want to do

prefers to stay at home and cuddle

Netflix and chill ;)

the king of duality

will be your baby boy one minute

and a second later he’s your daddy

sub! Jungkook and dom! Jungkook are a thing

he’s a giver ( unless you’ve wronged him in some way )

so sex is all about you and your needs

likes using oils and lotions

dirty talk or just talking in general

your moans and his only push him further

helps stimulate him

whether it’s him or you, loves any and all noises

“how does that feel baby? does that feel good?”

“you like my cock inside you don’t you baby.”

any position that will show off his muscles

holding you against the wall, shower sex, etc.

harsh spanking

thigh riding!!

because who wouldn’t want to ride those beautiful thighs

after sex, he’ll make sure to wipe you down

gives you a nice massage

just the sweetest when it comes to aftercare

the most versatile boyfriend out of all the guys

[midcing]

why do people do things that be bad for them? say we done with these things, then we ask for them

&. BASICS

FULL NAME: michael nathaniel roosevelt

NICKNAMES: mike, mikey

FACE CLAIM: jeffrey dean morgan

AGE: 51 years old

SEXUALITY: bisexual ( leans more towards women )

DATE OF BIRTH: may 2nd

GENDER/PRONOUNS: cis male & he/him

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: separated

OCCUPATION: bar & nighclub owner

FOR MORE INFORMATION ON MICHAEL CLICK ANYWHERE IN THIS SENTENCE

&. PERSONALITY

USUAL HANG OUTS: bars, nightclubs, his house

HOBBIES: dancing, singing, playing baseball.

FIVE POSITIVE TRAITS: enthusiastic, caring, resilient, patient, realistic

FIVE NEGATIVE TRAITS: shallow, stubborn, self-centered, self-indulgent, argumentative

DRINKS, SMOKES, & DRUGS: yes, yes, & yes.

&. VERSES

main. 

&. WANTED CONNECTIONS

ROMANTIC. 

( honestly just a lowkey warning i can’t really imagine him dating anyone younger than like 35. because if anyone younger than that tried to flirt with him he’d just be like ‘that is cute. you are child. go sit in the corner and think about your life.’ so idk keep that in mind ? ) 

the ex wife — okay i keep meaning to send this to the main ( and i’ll at some point in the future ) but if you want to fill up this connection hmu !! like in my mind they were married for many years and they were in love for a long ass time. they had two kids and they were cute af but at the end things were just super rocky. they would fight all the time and they were too focused on work. maybe she had an affair and he had a revenge affair and things were just !! not great !! i picture the divorce being pretty terrible and bitter and like them fighting about everything they had ever owned even though seeing that might be harmful to their kids bc they just too intertwined in their drama. and he is like i’ll fight you for everything but i’ll also not sign the divorce bc you have to understand !! we hate each other but we love each !! ( idk this man honestly smh ). cut to scene a few months later and he is living alone in his big ass house alone without her or the kids and he just like ‘can’t function without her !!’ and michael is still highkey hang up on her bc he says she is the love of his life and all that. you can have your character react to mikey in whatever way you want. she can hate him. love him still. be conflicted. it’s honestly your choice ! but like he would be highkey still in love !! and like trying to get her back despite the fact that he might not deserve her at all or they might not work together in anyway shape or form !!  ( yo i named her Stephanie so i wouldn’t have to awkwardly dance around the name whenever he mentioned his Ex-Wife but if you wanna fill this connection you can name her whatever you want. i’ll just change the info in his page. )

the affair — honestly just wow ??  picture the drama for a second. like the woman he cheated on his wife with... that tore his marriage apart. ... it is completely his fault since he was the married one but picture the misplaced guilt . them maybe actually liking each other but they somehow always end up fighting bc of all the baggage ?? maybe she is married too or she was at some point and he is a shitty but Fun remainder of her shitty husband ?? honestly i’m trash for drama

flirting goes too far — honestly he is always flirting with people and also Not flirting? like he is 100% joking but if you are down he is down. and like imagine just they are friends and they are close and he is flirting bc he does that and your char is just 1000% Done with his bullshit and maybe they kiss or they sleep with each other and for a night things are perfect. but in true michael fashion he does something without thinking of the consequences and regrets it the next day ? and now it is super awkward bc he trying to pretend nothing happened but it obviously did .. . ? ? 

FAMILY.

his son and daughter — i keep meaning to send this to the main too and i’ll at some point but like if you wanna fill it hmu !! i just imagine michael’s divorce with their mother tearing their relationship apart. and mikey feeling super guilty and trying to connect but like ‘how ???’ picture like him taking them to their favorite ice cream shop from when they are five and he is all proud of himself like ‘choose whatever you want!!’ and it’s like ‘That’s nice that you remembered but also i’m not twelve anymore pls do better’ and just wow ?? relationship on the rocks ? trying to be the best possible dad even when he is not the best man ?? dropping Literally Everything bc one of his kid texted ‘dad can you help with something?’ and like ‘yES!! !! yes anything’

PLATONIC.

the good influence — someone that tells him to Sit The Fuck Down and Chill and actually gets him to breath for a second ?? this dude honestly has no chill so i would love someone that is like ‘michael you are gonna sit down and watch this movie and then eat dinner’ and then they actually have fun ?? doing something lowkey chill and he is like ‘i don’t understand what is happening but i like it ngl’

the perfect match — someone who is also 0 Chill and must be doing something at all times ? you know that friendship in movies where they start with small dares like ‘i dare you to take a picture with that random person’ and ‘i dare you to dance in public’ and then a short montage of quickly escalating dares later, they are both in las vegas like ‘imma fucking do it. imma marry you. we are gonna be bounded for life’ and the other one is like ‘bitch you don’t have the balls.’ and they end up doing super dumb stupid shit just to make the other laugh ?? i would give you the sun for it

the parental figure — maybe they work at his bar or his nightclub and they opened up to michael at some point and he was like ‘wow your parents suck !!’ or like your char grew up alone idk up to you honestly ! and like michael was just ‘okay so i’m your Dad now’ and he just takes care of them ?? and even if they work for him like when they come in to the bar he is like ‘have you eaten already ? what do you mean no? Breakfast Is The Most Important Meal Of The Day’

ENEMIES.

the business rival — someone that has another club around kola ? ? and they are like always competing to see who gets the most Hype !? maybe there is some sexual tension  ??  maybe they ar e highkey competing but also somewhat pushing each other ?? like frenemies idk dude

i’m bad at thinking about enemy connections but if you have any ideas hmu

HONESTLY THOSE ARE JUST A FEW IDEAS ! IF READING ABOUT MICHAEL BRINGS ANYTHING TO MIND, JUST HMU. I’M OPEN TO EVERYTHING.

&. FILLED CONNECTIONS

ROMANTIC.

the crush —  michael keeps taking her to places and doing dumb stuff with her // taken by simone baxter @paradcxes

PLATONIC.

father figure — dorky father figure trying to pass as a badass // taken by baxley carrington @ofadorations

ENEMIES.

n/a

[punkscowardschampions]

James & Ava

James: [okay so we all know the mood is that he sees whatever she's posted and literally goes there immediately with no thought of who else could also be cos he NEEDS to check that she's alright. The drama of it all] Ava: [but luckily no one is there and she'd be so shocked but also grateful 'cos no one wants to be alone and feeling unwell, esp. not in hospital] James: [when he'd have to say he was her brother so he can take her #awkward] Ava: [lollol finding that more amusing than you would otherwise 'cos concussion breaking your awks] James: [oh she'd be so cute I can't] Ava: [just hugging him so hard] James: [we all need that moment but sadly it cannot last forever because he'd have some driver doing circles endlessly cos there's nowhere to park at hospitals ever] Ava: [seriously, and it's so expensive] James: [when you were so desperate to get in there you didn't think about how long it could have taken like she could've been admitted and that driver is just lowkey out there for the rest of time] Ava: [lmao i wonder how long he'd wait for that bag before getting bored, luckily they'd low-key be ready to get rid 'cos too busy and overcrowded] James: [practically pushing her out the door as soon as they saw someone show up for her so he doesn't even have time to give her a feelsy speech lol] James: [just help her out to the car boy, you've had a lot of practice with drunk girls in heels and it'd be the same vibe] Ava: [just saying thank you over and over] James: [meanwhile he's asking her if she's okay over and over like every step they trying to take here] Ava: ['Oh God, you must think I'm so stupid, I swear, they came out of nowhere'] James: ['We both know you're not stupid, Ava' shout out to that text cleverness 5ever tbh 'I'm just glad you weren't seriously hurt'] Ava: ['How have you been, I've been so worried' shoutout to this concussion giving me shameless freedom lol] James: [when you can only shake your head because 1. you ain't been good 2. you don't wanna tell her any of it and 3. you don't think you deserve her worry/ want her to worry about you] Ava: [sad face] James: [stopping to stroke said face, don't fall over girl, he's got you] Ava: ['James-' and then just looking 'cos what can you say] James: [looking back at her cos likewise but then you gotta drop them eyes cos so sad] Ava: ['you look tired' and making more of an actual effort to get into this car] James: ['I am tired' but helping her in and doing her seatbelt for her because not gonna see her struggle ever, telling the driver her address because there's nowhere else you can take her but home even though you have no idea if as soon as you get there someone is gonna show up for her and you obviously don't want that] Ava: [patting your shoulder like 'you can come sleep' like no no one can babe] James: ['no' but a little smile cos she's cute af 'I'm supposed to keep you awake'] Ava: [when you make a face like 😏] James: ['by which, of course, I mean, you've got a 8 hour date with Edward Cullen ahead of you'] Ava: [grinning like a fool but then being like, wait 'you'll stay though, can you?'] James: ['I'm not going to leave you alone' oh the heavy unspoken implication that she might not be if the friends or fam descend 💔] Ava: [resting your head on him as a silent thank you but then lifting it like 'so awake, promise'[ James: [stroking her hair and keeping an eye like] Ava: [being like let me tell YOU a story and honestly God knows but it'd be cute and she'd be trying to match his storyteller energy] James: [when that's lowkey the moment he falls in love with her bye] Ava: [asking the driver to play the new moon soundtrack] James: [loling and honestly when was the last time he did that, we all know it was when they were together] Ava: [live the emo life and love it babes] James: [he's GOTTA dance in his seat to keep her awake, no other reason #notanerd lol] Ava: [just clapping and cheering him on like nothing to see here driver God bless] James: [so not what that man was expecting to 👀 or 👂] Ava: [freaking out drivers is low-key a fave] James: [the one time you're happy about London traffic tbh] Ava: [even though we ain't gonna interrupt, you don't know that boy] James: [speaking of, probably send a text or something to check on the kids because you just ran like assumedly they at their grandparents but] Ava: [never leaving 'em with Chlo we all know] James: [lord her and Jay would kill each other] Ava: [I'd genuinely be worried for her safety so don't blame you remotely boy, least her parents are invested] James: [literally though & you can have those grandparents forever babs we ain't taking them away from you] Ava: [awkward that your mum never shows but that's just that on that] James: [lbr that's for the best stick with your dads kiddos] Ava: [we all know it, even if Matty might not end up remembering much] James: [Ava lowkey her mum now oops] Ava: [and Jay's actual auntie...lol what a tangled web we weave boo] James: [at least they can all stay connected] Ava: [true facts] James: [makes my heart happy even if it's weird] Ava: [lean in to how weird this family is James] James: [they weird af but they're better than the one he's got #noshadetoTeddythough] Ava: [all the shade to you Chlo, sort it out] James: [her poor future children & husband] Ava: [honestly, good luck] James: [he'd have to be about everything she is or else what the fuck] James: [anyway we've been sidetracked get to Baze's house you two] Ava: [movie marathon awaits, what else do we vibe or shall we just try and see what comes out, like] James: [let's just run with it and see what happens because we extra and anything could be said and done tbh] James: [imagine how awkward it'd be when they get there because he'd have to send her in first and just be shitting himself in the car like is anyone there or no] Ava: [at least you know full well no one is there 'cos business trips forever so you're just at the door shaking your head and doing the 'come on' gesture] James: [he'd just help her to the sofa like immediately & get her blankets and pillows and painkillers (even though it wouldn't touch a concussion headache) and a phone charger and everything else she could possibly need cos Chloe's got him trained like a dog] Ava: [low-key pulling at him, gently, like boy sit down] James: [when you are then looking at her like what did I forget/ do wrong before you realise] Ava: [squeezing his hand because you can only say thank you so many times, putting the film on but then pausing and gasping so dramatically 'coffee, I promised you coffee' and going to get up like can you be careful please] James: [thinking she's in pain or something because of that gasp so being at her side like 0-1000 and slowing her down cos they can do it together thank you] Ava: [making a face at herself like ffs when she catches on 'I'm not trying to age you' and touching his non-grey hair and wrinkles like totally necessary yep] James: ['but you're offering me coffee, what's next red meat or red wine?' but no actual shade cos we both know he doesn't care and none of that is what's aging him anyway, taking her hand from his face and gently kissing said hand before handholding to lead her to her own kitchen like let's do this] Ava: ['I don't know where my cigarettes are' shrugs and smiles like sorry not sorry, smiles even harder but lowkey stops breathing when, kissing ontop of where he just kissed her hand, then getting to this all-singing all-dancing coffee machine 'you have to pick the most daring option, one you've never, ever tried before, okay?' and waggling her finger like so serious about this] James: [takes his own cigarettes out of his pocket and slides the pack over to her 'okay' and does pick, really concentrating on the decision even though there'd be so much shit he hasn't tried and we all know he could just pick option 1 and be done] Ava: [takes one out and puts it behind her ear for later 'cos no need to light up in your parents home, just watching him 'cos so cute and then nodding like yes, good choice and picks the same, setting up this machine 'cos they're always more confusing and/or time-consuming than they need to be I swear] James: [where's the lie you gotta have the knack I swear, his turn to watch her now though because she's beautiful doing anything ever and he missed her so bad] Ava: [ahh coffee goodtimes forever] James: [he needs it cos he is tired af so thanks Ava you babe] Ava: ['do we talk about what happened, or do we write it off?' when you just saying this casually whilst waiting for your coffees] James: ['I don't know' because he is genuinely torn between wanting to and also not] Ava: ['Wait and see how we feel' 'cos no rush or pressure here 'you better carry these though' 'cos we don't need burns as well ty] James: ['wait here a minute for me' because carries the drinks through and then comes back for her because why not carry her though as well obvs] Ava: [does and loves it 'I've missed you, you know'] James: ['I know now' just giving her 😍 casually 'I've missed you too'] Ava: [😍 right back 'Ask anyone' when you're talking about your mood but you realize that sounds like you been telling the world lol 'I mean, I've been a delight' 🙄] James: [when you shake your head like no it's okay 'I overreacted about your cousin, I'm sorry' takes a deep breath remembering that whole sad ending moment 'And I'm sorry for fucking up the start of your summer' because she loves it and he knows] Ava: ['I understand why, understood, whatever. And I am still sorry, I was just too excited and-' sighs like, you know, squeezing his hand again 'I promise, that's all sorted now though' 'cos clearly told her it's over by now, 'cos thought it was anyway; she nods like thanks but shrugs like it's okay too, don't worry 'Sure even I can't be grumpy in the Seychelles, like'] James: [blatantly almost kissing her because he understands the whole being too highkey thing because he was (*cough* is) too but doesn't because she's going away 'when are you going?'] Ava: [sad face like you didn't just say you aren't gonna be grumpy 'when my parents get back, couple of days'] James: [strokes her face again like he did earlier 'you'll feel better by then' because someone's meant to watch you for 48 hours actually NHS website says] Ava: [😈 me 😇 her looking at him 'how did you even- why- I-' continuously cutting herself off 'cos you know he was checking in on you now and you know he came without hesitating so it doesn't need to be said 'Oh, James'] James: ['Ava' saying her name with SO MUCH feeling that I cannot 'I had to' when you mean so many things by that like you had to go but you have to stay now and you had to make sure she was okay today but also you had to keep checking on her the whole time] Ava: [definitely gonna go in to kiss him can't stop that soz] James: [we all know it was only a matter of time and that this is gonna turn into a not at all casual make out session] Ava: [you honestly deserve it lads] James: [that coffee gonna be cold and they won't even notice] Ava: [the movies are also not being watched lmao but no one cares rn] James: [on pause forever sorry not sorry] James: [but eventually like after AN AGE one of them should lean on the remote or whatever so it starts playing and they're like wtf] Ava: [when you shit yourself like who is here but then loving 'cos hi Edward] James: [we all shitting ourselves and all loling] Ava: ['he's very possessive' no lie] James: [looking at Edward and then kissing her again like when you're trying to make someone jealous] Ava: [when you're loling too hard into his mouth like 'scuse me] James: [kissing her neck instead so she can have her adorable lol] Ava: [reacting to that in a v different way] James: [we back at it again at krispy kreme soz twilight saga] Ava: [i swear to god the ily curse is so real] James: [this always happens to us, don't talk for a bit lads, wink wonk] Ava: [its because we give them such high-pressure situations but yes, you should fully hook up 'cos haven't yet] James: [I wonder if the orgasm headache thing would work for a concussion one or not] Ava: [my boo says #experiment] James: [imma google it but I don't expect an answer] James: [nobody is telling me but if it can help a migraine I don't see why it wouldn't] Ava: [you'll be fine bitch, just a shameless excuse that he needs to hang around longer] James: [we should totally also do the shameless thing when he falls asleep and then wakes up immediately but is like oh no how long was I asleep because not only worried about her we know] Ava: [for sure, just there chilling like 🥰 'not long, but you looked peaceful'] James: ['I was' and more 😍 'I am' just snuggling happily because deserved af] Ava: [kissing the top of his head 'good' then lying down and snuggling harder 'I'm so glad you're here, that you're okay'] James: ['I'm glad that I'm here & that you're okay' kissing her forehead and holding her so tightly because he was so worried that something much worse had happened to her] Ava: ['It was kinda scary how much I missed you- like I said I WAS extra but I think, no, I still am, I can't lie to you'[ James: [when you are just falling so hard for her rn smiling like look at this perfect 😇 'you don't have to miss me any longer, minus however long you're spending in the Seychelles, of course'] Ava: ['Yeah?' trying but failing not to sound so hopeful 'And two weeks, so not as long as it has been, not that I was definitely counting or anything'] James: ['I was afraid, no, I am afraid but very few things have ever scared me as much as when I saw you were in hospital & I thought-'] Ava: [just holding him back even tighter like you could not be closer 'I'm so sorry I scared you, I won't ever do it again, even if I get hit by something more substantial than a 90lbs mum on a lightweight bike' and shaking her head with a lil lol 'cos it is funny even though it can be as bad as a car crash actual sometimes] James: ['You scare me in the best ways, you don't have to stop, I don't want you to' because think of the new things he's already done and the new things he's already felt, it makes me emosh goodbye] Ava: [when that's the hottest thing you've ever heard like 'scuse me round two] James: [you've actually got all night for once so make the most of it lads] Ava: [like literally no one needs it more than him so I'm allowing it, there's enough shit happened, happening and still to come] James: [amen to that] Ava: [happy bubble forever] James: [if only like, he is NOT gonna wanna leave in the morning but maybe we could say that like Jay has a playdate with friends or something cos soz babe you can't keep a secret so he just gets the baby and comes back] Ava: [that would be a moment] James: [just casually meet each other how cute] Ava: [have a normal, happy day like you're meant to oh] James: [you all deserve it truly] Ava: [meet your potential future stepchild babe] James: [do we wanna have them go out or stay in?] Ava: [🤔 obvs really want them to go to Kensington Park 'cos Peter Pan and like obvs I doubt anyone who would be bothered to report to Chloe is gonna be there but it is risky so maybe save it idk] James: [we will bookmark that for the future because MUST but they could take Frank on a walk somewhere cos we ain't referenced that sweet sir even if it's just through the streets like] Ava: [that's a good shout, you better be a good boy lol] James: [and don't cockblock them rn please] James: [they'd look like a little fam, I am FINE] Ava: [and lowkey behave more like one in one day like the bar is so low tah Chlo] James: [the scolding tea] James: how are you feeling? Ava: 😊 So happy Ava: Only a bit tired from the whole staying awake thing and you keeping me awake, like 😏 Ava: oh, and Frank said you've redeemed yourself so well done there too Ava: how're you and the girls? James: I'm happy to hear all of that James: has your dizziness gone? James: we're fine, but tired too Ava: Yeah Ava: barely a headache Ava: and my parents get in early AM so I should be all set to go when they do get here James: how much packing is there left to do? Ava: All of it but deciding which 14 bikinis I wanna take shouldn't take too long James: are you sure? I think it would take me a really long time to decide Ava: I'll put some stories up Ava: You can help me Ava: I reckon I need your clearly more considered opinion James: of course you do James: you wouldn't want to spend the entirety of your holiday wishing you'd chosen differently Ava: so true Ava: especially as I'm not allowed to pack my pout James: everyone is well aware of how important the pursuit of a tan is to you, darling, anything that jeopardises that, well, it's bound to be very pout inducing James: you'll be forgiven Ava: I don't know if my family is as forgiving as you Ava: perhaps they don't like my pout as much Ava: they definitely aren't as supportive in bikini related decision making James: I'll dedicate paragraphs to both James: multiple lengthy ones Ava: It'll seem gratuitous in the movie but nothing is too much for the book James: as long as it remains included in the director's cut James: or else I will be devastated Ava: I'll demand it in my contract Ava: I think it'll be a first in favour of taking your clothes off instead of keeping 'em on James: thank you James: you do deserve a multitude of firsts, honestly Ava: you deserve so much Ava: much more than I'm allowed to give you Ava: that reminds me Ava: as I can't give you anything as a thank you, I've had to get creative James: so much of what I deserve is negative & there is nothing you owe to me in any capacity, thanks included James: but I'd never want to discourage creativity Ava: Shh sh Ava: in the spirit of firsts and trying new things Ava: when you're all less worn out, go to [a sassy but kid-friendly cafe/restaurant that's a bit out there and exotic and definitely nowhere Chloe has ever made you take her] and tell 'em you're eating on me, yeah Ava: then when I get back and you're free, you're coming over and I'm cooking James: Ava Ava: It's already arranged, I go there all the time, it's the 2nd best Brazilian food I've had James: you've been to Brazil for the 1st, haven't you? I can tell Ava: Actually no, mores the pity Ava: but my Uncle is Brazilian and a chef, my cousin too Ava: having a big weird family has unexpected perks Ava: if you like it, I already have a recipe lined up that's meant to be 🔥 but even a novice like me can master it James: you'll have to wait patiently for my review because I regrettably can't send you a picture of my face after the 1st mouthful to serve as one, but okay Ava: I'll do my best Ava: though having any patience when it comes to you doesn't seem to be my strong suit Ava: arguably not a virtue I'm known for, ever, but especially now James: I'll do my best not to miss you so hard that it's physically painful but that doesn't appear to be my strong suit either & as previously agreed, I won't make any promises I'm forced to immediately break Ava: Oh Ava: Knowing it wasn't just me finding out that painful cliche is painfully real is somehow a comfort, to know you'll want to avoid the feeling as much as I do from now on but it also hurts me even more, the idea of you having to feel it at all in the first place Ava: but there is no conflict in just how hard I'm looking forward to seeing you again after this ill-timed holiday James: I don't ever want you to be in pain because of me, I have to insist on only the good cliches going forward James: devastatingly a postcard can't be included in that Ava: Hmm, got any long-lost great aunties I can pretend to be? 🤔😂 James: If I do my wife is bound to be aware of them, their current financial situation & any possible health concerns they are facing Ava: Valid Ava: Don't need to give her any more reason to 💀💀💀 me Ava: At least no holiday is complete without the obligatory narcissistic poolside shoot James: suffice to say I've never had a complete holiday, in that case Ava: I bet you've had to be cameraman plenty though Ava: so rude when you're so nice to look at James: & yet I've never been trusted to pick a filter Ava: 🙄 Ava: does she not know that you're an artiste James: no, it's our secret Ava: 😊 I like that James: I like you Ava: I like that more James: I wish I could see you again before you go Ava: Me too Ava: I kinda wish I weren't going James: how early are your parents getting back exactly? Ava: like 4am kinda early James: I won't make you stay awake again James: I know how tired you must be Ava: 🥺 James: I'm so relieved that I can't see that look on your actual face Ava: It's 💔 Ava: but I'll survive Ava: about James: you're a very strong person Ava: You James: I'm not Ava: You are though Ava: you put up with so much shit James: is that strength or is it weakness? Ava: I think it's strength Ava: You can't necessarily stop shit happening or get shit out of your life Ava: no matter how strong Ava: and you manage to do all the shit you have to regardless James: I'd like to think you're right Ava: Then you should Ava: I encourage it Ava: 🤓 me James: you are undeniably clever Ava: Try to be Ava: when I'm not standing in the middle of cycle paths, obviously James: I heard you say that bike came out of nowhere Ava: Yeah Ava: I miss you already Ava: Frank is not as good a nurse, like at all James: if you can fall asleep now, I'd feel less guilty about the prospect of asking you not to later James: should I hypothetically be able to get away Ava: 🛌🏃 Ava: Promise James: I can't give you a promise back Ava: I know Ava: but this way, I either stay asleep and that's that Ava: or I get the best surprise to wake me up James: what did I do to deserve you? Ava: This is the part where I say something very bad but Ava: you don't seem capable Ava: you're just James: whatever it was, I need to know so I can keep doing it Ava: just be you Ava: another cliche you've proven to be true and real James: this fortnight without you is going to be really cliche James: there's no chance of it existing beyond the 1st draft Ava: not even for my eyes only? James: well James: maybe Ava: Please please please James: okay James: you are my fairest critic & you do have beautiful eyes Ava: Yours are better Ava: but I won't be too jealous if I get to look at them more James: I definitely can't promise not to be envious of everyone in the Seychelles who will get to look at you more than I can Ava: Do you ever get a decent lunchbreak? Ava: we could facetime James: I'll figure something out James: because my dad takes the longest lunch breaks, you'd be forgiven for thinking it's the 80s Ava: 😏 we love a throwback 🙄 James: I'll take Matty to work with me, she'll distract whoever I need her to Ava: She is very cute Ava: I see it James: I won't be saying anything the like of that if she won't sleep tonight though Ava: 🤞 for you and her Ava: shame she's not yet at the walking stage Ava: Frank is so 💤 James: I can't keep her in any kind of routine, it's frustrating for both of us Ava: That's hard James: it's harder for her than it is for me, she never knows what's happening Ava: She'll get there Ava: I was the worst baby Ava: hopefully before you totally lose your mind, 'course James: I find it impossible to believe you weren't 😇 Ava: I was pretty premmie so my poor parents were confined to perpetual bright light for ages when I got home James: both the girls were so late James: that was an entirely different struggle Ava: I can imagine how delightful Ava: usually excusable but when you set the bar low to begin with 😬 James: the last thing I want to do is badmouth her to you, but as we know, sometimes things write themselves Ava: I feel you Ava: not a cliche I particularly wanna be either James: of course not Ava: but you can vent, you know Ava: I don't even have to reply, just if you need to put it somewhere James: no, I can't Ava: okay, just a suggestion James: so much of this is already not fair to you, Ava Ava: I don't think it is Ava: you've never lied about any of it, you're always realistic about what you can and can't give me Ava: and I'd like to help, in any tiny way I'm able James: you don't know what she's like & I'd rather you didn't have to know James: let's keep it at you don't do sympathy Ava: I know very little but that's not positive so it doesn't take your author level of imagination if I wanna go there without your guidance Ava: and it isn't sympathy but okay Ava: I won't mention her and you don't have to either James: I just can't have you seeing me differently because Ava: I'd never see you differently because of what she's like as a person James: it's too big of a risk for me to take, that you'll end up thinking less of me than you do now Ava: You can trust me Ava: but you don't have to Ava: I won't push anything, I don't need to Ava: as much as I want to take things fast in so many respects, I'm never going to take it where you don't want it James: it isn't you I don't trust James: I'm not a reliable narrator, she's made sure I'm not Ava: However...intertwined and diluted you feel your story got, because of her, because of whatever Ava: it's always gonna be your story to tell, if you want it Ava: and I'll always listen to how you tell it James: Ava Ava: James James: if it was a story I was in control of I'd come to the airport & tell you not to go James: cliche or not Ava: and I'd stay Ava: but that's far too much like a happy ending and we've only just begun James: you're right again Ava: don't sound so surprised 😉 James: I was actually trying to decide where it falls on the scale of ideas & habits, good, bad or somewhere in between James: that you always seem to be Ava: Have you drawn a conclusion yet? James: I couldn't possibly tell you James: you're supposed to be asleep Ava: damn Ava: you'll tell me in the morning? James: yes Ava: Okay, I'll go, as long as you know it is so reluctantly it's practically under protest James: & I won't stay here hoping you don't, as long as you know it's under identical conditions Ava: Noted Ava: Goodnight and sweet dreams for whenever that happens for you then, love James: thank you

[peachhoneii]

Daisy Duck: HR Style

I might have gone a little overboard about this, but uh...there are no regrets. @donaldtheduckdad and @robinine-blog

Daisy Duck alternatively known as Daisy Miranda-Duck (canon/fanon)

She grew up with her mother, father, brother, and sister in the Industrial District. Her family were lower class/poor. I know there is the possibility that the brother is HDL’s father, but…I don’t think it’s going to be case in this one.

Donna and Daisy were born in Mouseton, raised in Duckburg. They’re twins.

Has an older brother. David?

Donna has the triplets with an ex-boyfriend who leaves shortly before they’re born.

Daisy is attending St. Canard University majoring in Human Resources with a minor in Illustration/Art.

Did not want children. Wasn’t planning to ever have kids, and biologically can’t by time she’s 27.

Donna suffers from untreated PPD. After six months, she bails on her daughters, and leaves for Mexico to live with relatives.

Daisy’s parents cannot handle this so Daisy steps up. Brother helps too, but he has his own family.

Donna signs off her parental rights and lives it up in Mexico for a while.

Daisy barely finishes school due to the whole strain of it all. Her dad gets sick, mom is overwhelmed, and there are three babies that need to be cared for.

Gets her first job right out of school working for a company where sexism is rampant, and she goes like… “@%!# all of you because you need me more than I need you,” she’s totally BSing but the boss likes her spunk, “and I’m bringing these babies with me. Fight me.”

This quickly becomes fact when Daisy handles so many issues in a short matter of time. She’s an efficient. A+++ worker.

Under a cut because I had too much fun with this.

Daisy and Donald briefly dated. They quickly realize they can’t handle their relationship while raising toddlers, so they end on friendly terms although they don’t keep in touch like they want to.

Daisy’s artwork gains the interest of Scrooge McDuck.

He needs a new painter. His old friend, Mr. Barks, past away some time ago, and he needs someone to paint all of these cool adventures he’s having with his family!

Daisy works in HR at the company and makes a fairly decent living. Could be she works for Flintheart Glomgold, but does artwork on the side for extra cash.

Daisy is 1000% done with HR business. She is a constant victim of TMI from her coworkers and employees. She has a 401K, great health and dental insurance, and annual is a beast when she decides to use it. She sucks up the pain,

She and the girls travel occasionally for vacation. Last out of city vacation was five years ago to Disney World.

Visits the House of Mouse semi-regularly. 

She still dated Minnie during college up to her senior year. They’re best friends still.

Glomgold is an ass, but is actually a decent boss under normal business situations. If you’re on an adventure though, he’s going to leave you to die if it benefits him.

“Glad to see the kraken failed in killing you sir. The board will be pleased.”

“Don’t let it choke you up, Ms. Duck!”

Daisy lived with her parents for a long time. A house/apartment wasn’t an option on her salary. At the time of the series’ start, she recently purchased a nice home for her parents, but her parents weren’t having it. Her parents now live with her instead of the other way around, and it works for them.

AMJ attend the same school as HDL, but they don’t hang in the same social circles.

Daisy is not nearly as protective of the girls as Donald is of the boys. Daisy grew up near Duckburg’s Industrial District in a small house, and definitely has a street kid mindset, or street adult?

Daisy and Donald meet again during a mission that involves Glomgold and Scrooge.

“What are you doing here, Daisy?”

“I’m here on a job. Can you tell Mr. Duck I’ll need an extension on that portrait?”

Daisy is a part of HR, and due to the Atlantis incident, the HR is on Glomgold. She’s there as an investigator.

“Mr. Glomgold, threatening to murder Scrooge McDuck and his family as part of a sinister agenda is not in our policy manual, and it promotes an unhealthy work environment.”

“Are you serious, Ms. Duck.”

“As serious as my niece is when selling her Little Chickadee cookies. Also, that time is coming up, and if you want the Snickerdoodle Delights this year...”

“They are?”

“Would you like some, sir?”

“…Sign me up for five boxes.”

“Make sure you fill out this form. Sign here and here.”

Oh yeah, Daisy is a cookie pusher at the office. Flintheart Glomgold hates buying those cookies, but they are absolutely delicious. He can’t actually buy out the Little Chickadees. He’s tried. They said no.

Daisy is not afraid of Flintheart Glomgold, and he knows it. She knows it too, and so they’ve got an unorthodox boss-employee relationship going on. 

She reminds him…, “I am not your secretary. I am the Associate Director of Human Resources.”

Yep, she was there when Glomgold hired Donald.

“Sir, Mr. Duck applied for the accountant position. It’s already been filled.”

“He’s going to be a sailor.”

“Mr. Duck attended an accredited program and passed the CPA exam with flying colors. You can’t believe he’s going to accept a sailor position at extremely low pay due to his Naval history.”

“Someone desperate for money will.”

“Is this a part of some pre-mediated scheme to become the richest duck of the world, and you’re going to use Scrooge McDuck’s nephew as leverage?”

“That is an oddly specific plan, Ms. Duck, and…no?”

“I certainly hope not, because it would be a shame if this made its way to the Board as well as my boss, The Director of Human Resources.”

Daisy is a 5th degree black belt in Aikido. It was her way of dealing with stress. It did a lot of good for her. A lot of good.

Donald asks Daisy out in the middle of a monster struggle.

“RIGHT NOW OF ALL TIMES, DONALD!” grips snack and whips around at bad guys

“BETTER LATE THAN EVER, AMIRIGHT?”

  Loses her absolute mind when a bad guy tears up April’s cookie order form, and shows Donald and everyone else why they should fear and respect Daisy Duck.

“YOU WORTHLESS LEATHER TOTE. GIVE ME BACK MY BABY’S COOKIE FORM.”

“Aye, where can I get her number?”

“Oi! Get your own Daisy Duck! She’s my secretary!”

“WELL, SHE’S MY PAINTER.”

“WHATEVER HE’S PAYING I’LL DOUBLE IT.”

“Mr. Glomgold, we both know you’re lying, and I am not…you know what, forget it. I’m taking annual today. PAID VACATION, do you hear me.”

Lowkey doesn’t want to admit how attracted she is to Donald, and finds tons of little faults before Minnie and Clarabelle admit that she’s got it bad. They exchange phone numbers.

“You are a human disaster, Donald Duck.”

“…Oh.”

“So am I. Half the time I’m too out of it to give a damn. Here’s my number. It’s good seeing you again, and the boys look great.”

“Aren’t they such good boys?”

“They really are. Huey is adorable! I’m sure he and my April will get along.”

Spoiler: They don’t. Well, not at first.

Donald and Daisy end up getting called to the principal’s office after a Woodchuck v. Chickadee debate went out of hand.

[bulletforged]

the ultimate relantionship tag I want to know all the answers to sex for Chris and Melissa!!!!

okay others asked for mcargent for all the categories so since i can tag the others, i’m answering them all on yours and just gonna tag @littlewxtch + chozenrogue (i can’t @ you for some reason) so they see it here.

SEND ✩ + A SHIP // ACCEPTING.

DISAGREEMENTS:

Who is more likely to raise their voice? I think they both would, but Chris is probably more likely to back down and just try to avoid the argument. He’s very much a ‘sigh, give in and do as he’s told while sulking about it’ kinda guy when he’s in a relationship.Who threatens to leave but never actually does? Chris would never threaten to leave and tbh I’m not sure Melissa would either. Neither of them seem like the type to just quit or play emotional games.Who actually keeps their word and leaves? Come on neither of them is gonna leave. Chris will only go if she tells him to and is sure about it, and he’d never expect Melissa to leave. If she wants him gone, he’s gone, but the house is hers.Who trashes the house? Chris has a habit of taking it out on inanimate objects when he’s mad so he might throw some things or kick things or like punch a wall or something, but he’ll calm down instantly once he’s let that burst of anger out. And he’ll immediately start tidying up the mess because he’s not an idiot and he knows he’ll get in trouble. :’)Do either of them get physical? She might slap him I guess but they’d never get physical to the point of actually hurting each other. He’d certainly never raise a hand to her.How often do they argue/disagree? I think they’d bicker a lot about little things like differences in opinion but as for real arguments and real disagreements with all the tension… I don’t think it’s very often. Although Chris’ whole history and mindset might clash with her a lot. She certainly wouldn’t agree with how willing he is to ‘do what’s necessary’ i.e. harm, incapacitate or kill an opponent. I think that’d be their major clashing point – he’s a killer and he’s damn good at it. He’s a hunter. He might be all about protecting people but he can’t erase his past and he can’t just erase his instincts when he’s in a fight/on a hunt – if a creature needs to be put down, he’ll do it. They’d probably also disagree about money cause he’d wanna just pay everything to make it easier, but I think she’s too proud to accept that much help, so… it’d be a recurring discussion.Who is the first to apologise? I can see them both giving in and just apologising together unless she’s mad at him for something he did in which case he’ll be apologising a lot. He doesn’t like to stay mad at someone he loves.

SEX:

Who is on top? Chris is so weak for a woman on top but he also likes being on top himself, all dominant and powerful and getting lost in the moment, so it’d be a healthy mix of both.Who is on the bottom? Again, a mix.Who has the strangest desires? I don’t know that either of them have ‘strange’ desires? I guess Chris since he’s the one who’s into all the kinks…Any kinks? Chris has a lot of kinks but nothing too weird. Melissa… I think she could get into some of them. I mean he’ll certainly try to very subtly and slowly introduce her to the idea of some, especially her being dominant and maybe they work in some rope use or something and some dirty talk idk he has a lot of interests and he’s not quite sure how to bring those up so he’ll just hope for the best.Who’s dominant in bed? Both lbr. It’ll be ‘in the moment’. Sometimes Chris just gets into a really dominant, kinda dark mood and would want full control and would probably initiate things but he also loves being bossed around by a beautiful woman so Melissa’s always free to take the reins, so to speak.Is head ever in the equation? He certainly hopes so. Both giving and receiving.If so, who is better at performing it? I feel like Melissa’s one of those women who’s mind-blowingly good at it (and yes I just laughed at ‘blowing’) and he’s probably gonna be pleasantly surprised the first time she does it and probably gonna want it a lot but he’s also too polite to ask. He’s more of a giver tbh. He’ll give willingly. I’d say he’s also rather talented so she can enjoy that.Ever had sex in public? I mean we have a thread where they’re fucking in the hospital so yep that’s a solid yes.Who moans the most? He makes it his own personal goal to get as much noise out of her as possible but he’s not quiet either and lbr if she’s taking control or going down on him he’s gonna 1000% be her bitch.Who leaves the most marks? Lbr they’re both lowkey possessive af so they’d both be covered in marks after one round of sex.Who screams the loudest? Chris doesn’t scream tyvm he makes v manly sounds like growling and … grunting? Anyway point is Melissa screams tbh it’s like his personal target every time they have sex.Who is the more experienced of the two? If we’re talking number of partners, it’s probably Melissa. Chris has basically been with his wife. And that’s it. Until Melissa. He’s not inexperienced by any means. It’s just that all his experience is with one woman.Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? It’s both tbh. I think if they’re in the right mood, they can definitely fuck, but there’s always gonna be love involved so there’ll always be that aspect of tenderness and consideration for each other.Rough or soft? Again, both. Chris loves a little rough kinky sex every so often but he also love being soft and gentle and just totally loving on her and taking his time.How long do they usually last? Depends what kinda sex they’re having. Chris can last a long time cause… used to playing around with orgasm denial/self-control. >.> So… yeah he can go a while. But also I have a lowkey hc about tantric sex because he needs/loves the intimacy of it so who knows.Is protection used? Lmao no. I think there might eventually be consequences of that and Chris might be murdered for not using a condom like a grown ass man… So watch this space.Does it ever get boring? I doubt it, but it’d get more comfortable as they learn about each other and figure out boundaries, but comfort isn’t a bad thing. It won’t be boring.Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? See now I’m just wondering whether they’d be desperate/mischievous enough to fuck in the morgue. I wanna hope not but I also at this point wouldn’t be surprised… jfc.

FAMILY:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children? They both have their own precious babies Scott and Allison and like a million kids they’ve adopted between them. As for having a child together… granted they’re limited on time but they definitely still have a good few years to try if they want to. I think if they have a kid it’s gonna be an accident though. And only in aus where Allison is alive. Chris doesn’t need that pain. Or does he. >.>If so, how many children do your muses want/have? Chris wants an army of children. For real just give him all the babies cause he loves being a father so much. Idk about Melissa but I can’t imagine she’d be too impressed by him wanting an army.Who is the favorite parent? Chris wants to be the cool dad but the reality is that they probably all prefer Melissa cause as cool as he is, he’s also kinda a dick.Who is the authoritative parent? I mean Chris is strict and overprotective and would clash with the kids a lot but I think they’d all ignore him (Allison Argent what’s good) and it’d be Melissa that they don’t fuck with. Melissa’s word is definitely final. Chris just likes to shout and feel important.Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school? Chris probably.Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around? I don’t think they’d have to wait for the other to not be around because they’d both do it. And probably join in. Because sweets and junk food are the best kinds of food.Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children? Both come on.Who goes to parent teacher interviews? Both.Who changes the diapers? Both.Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby? They’d probably both get up but Chris doesn’t sleep much anyway so he’d just kiss her and tell her to go back to sleep and take care of it himself. Plus it’s like extra sneaky cuddle time with the baby and he always wants extra cuddle time so… win/win.Who spends the most time with the children? They both do lbr. They’re both amazing parents.Who packs their lunch boxes? Probably Melissa cause they’d at least get a full, proper lunch. Chris would fill it with sweets and forget the damn sandwich.Who gives their children ‘the talk’? … My muse legit just shouted ‘nOT ME.’ Sorry Melissa it’s on you.Who cleans up after the kids? I think they both help out and share the load.Who worries the most? Both. They worry together.Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from? Melissa.

AFFECTION:

Who likes to cuddle? Both.Who is the little spoon? Melissa usually.Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? It really depends on their mood, I think. Melissa’s probably more forward in public than him.Who struggles to keep their hands to themselves? Both. Especially if someone’s flirting with the other. They’ll both get jealous and territorial.How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable? Hours and hours and hours and hours lbr neither of them is getting uncomfortable cause they both need the cuddles.Who gives the most kisses? They both would but again, Melissa’s probably more forward/comfortable in public especially at first, so things like giving him a casual kiss when he brings her lunch or coffee at work – she’s more likely to do that. And he’ll just smile and get a little shy but look at her with major hearteyes.What is their favourite non-sexual activity? It’s probably just food. Or hanging out with their kids. Or eating food with their kids. That’s the best.Where is their favourite place to cuddle? Anywhere’s good for a cuddle but probably in bed or on the couch.Who is more likely to playfully grope the other? Probably Melissa, but if you get Chris into the right playful mood, he’ll be an absolute little shit.How often do they get time to themselves? I think they try to find time to themselves but the kids come first. Luckily the kids are going to college. :)

SLEEPING:

Who snores? Chris is a quiet sleeper (with a little mumbling/some nightmares but still). I don’t know if Melissa snores. Maybe just when she’s literally exhausted from work and just passes out, but he’d think it’s cute.If both do, who snores the loudest? I don’t think either of them would snore loud.Do they share a bed or sleep separately? Share a bed obviously. They’d hate sleeping apart.If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? Listen if Chris Argent is sharing a bed with you, you better believe he’ll wrap himself around you like a damn koala or legit just pass out right on top of you. He likes cuddles and affection and knowing someone is safe there in his arms so he’s not gonna let her go all night. They cozy up together.Who talks in their sleep? Chris might mumble if he’s having a nightmare.What do they wear to bed? Depends. Chris likes wearing nothing and he’d like it a hell of a lot more if she’s naked too. Even just for being intimate. That skin-on-skin contact is nice. If they have to wear something though, he’ll just throw some boxers or pj bottoms/sweatpants on, but he won’t really be comfortable. And we already know she has pjs.Are either of your muses insomniacs? Chris kinda is but it’s cause he’s just used to being up at random hours in the night to go out hunting and he’s used to going a day or two without sleep while they’re out. He’s very likely to not sleep and eventually just pass out for like 12 hours.Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? They probably have some but I don’t know that they’d use them all the time. Chris personally would rather just stay away and hold her all night and just be comfortable. That or he’ll sneak off to read something.Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? Totally tangled together lbr. All the cuddles.Who wakes up with bed hair? Chris would be cute with messy bed hair. :’) Melissa wakes up fabulous lbr but she’s probably more likely to have bed hair.Who wakes up first? Chris likes to wake up to make her coffee and breakfast but if he’s exhausted, she’ll be up and doing stuff long before he is.Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? ^^^ Chris loves to. And he’ll just steal things from her plate.What is their favourite sleeping position? Cuddles. Preferably naked.Who hogs the sheets? Chris will sleep without them if needs be so Melissa can hog them all she wants.Do they set an alarm each night? She has to for work some mornings. He’s just used to waking up naturally pretty early.Can a television be found in their bedroom? Eventually, yes. I don’t think she has one before but he’d buy one for her. I doubt they use it though.Who has nightmares? Chris definitely does. Melissa probably does as well after all the shit they’ve both seen and been through.Who has ridiculous dreams? Probably Melissa. If she ever mumbles about them, he’d enjoy hearing all the weird ridiculous things she’s talking about.Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? If Chris is exhausted enough, he will, but I think Melissa is more likely to.Who makes the bed? Probably Melissa by habit but he would too if it wasn’t done.What time is bed time? Whenever they decide to go up to bed.Any routines/rituals before bed? Chris voice: sex pls. Nah idk I think they like to just chill on the couch for a few hours and cuddle and watch TV and just enjoy the quiet time until they’re tired enough to go sleep. I don’t think there are many rituals, although Chris has a habit of going to check on Allison in the middle of the night to make sure she’s still breathing.Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? Probably depends on the circumstances of being woken up. I think Melissa would be pretty grumpy before she gets her coffee, but he’d always try to be ready with one. :’)

WORK:

Who is the busiest? Melissa.Who rakes in the highest income? Technically Chris but he’s rich af anyway.Are any of your muses unemployed? Chris sorta does freelance stuff now and just oversees company stuff but not a whole lot of actual work so… maybe.Who takes the most sick days? Neither.Who is more likely to turn up late to work? Neither.Who sucks up to their boss? Chris is his own boss. Melissa basically runs the hospital soooo neither.What are their jobs? Melissa is a nurse. Chris runs a private security company and oversees the Argent Arms business, so he’s still a ‘highly respected private security consultant and federally licensed firearms dealer’ >.> *cough*Who stresses the most? Melissa but mostly about money and stuff. I don’t think she’d like him to just pay everything off. They’d be a partnership but he’d always be ready to take the pressure off. He just respects her and her profession/skills too much to ever expect her to quit or take it easy, but she’d have that option if she chooses to.Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? Chris is just used to his. I think Melissa enjoys hers even if it’s hectic.Are your muses financially stable? Melissa isn’t but Chris would stabilise the McCalls with his wealth so yes, technically they are. He’d definitely make it a lot easier for them and they’d be able to actually have nice things and live better.

HOME:

Who does the washing? Whoever’s at home although… she’s probably better off not letting Chris do it cause he’ll probably shrink things.Who takes out the trash? Proud Chris voice: I can do that! ^-^Who does the ironing? Again Melissa’s probably better off doing it.Who does the cooking? They’ll cook together.Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? They’ve both been single parents so they can both manage.Who is messier? Weirdly I think Melissa but I don’t think either of them are insanely messy.Who leaves the toilet roll empty? … Probably Chris. Sorry Melissa.Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? If they’re really tired it could be either. If they’re having sex, they’re also not gonna be picking clothes up the second they’ve finished. I feel like sometimes Melissa might come home from a double shift and just kinda strip off and fall into bed so it’s probably mostly her but he won’t mind. He’ll just kiss her and tuck her in and pick everything up.Who forgets to flush the toilet? I don’t think either of them would.Who is the prankster around the house? Probably neither but I think she’d screw with him a little so she can tease him after.Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? Chris but they’re probably right there and Melissa’s just standing there eye rolling waiting for him to open his fucking eyes.Who mows the lawn? Chris’ll do it but she’s not incapable.Who answers the telephone? Whoever’s there when it rings.Who does the vacuuming? Whoever’s home to do it.Who does the groceries? Either of them. Probably together quite often but he’ll do it when she’s at work so it’s one less thing she has to find time for. He’s a good husband.Who takes the longest to shower? They can just shower together it’s cool.Who spends the most time in the bathroom? Probably Melissa by default. Chris takes care of himself and keeps up with personal grooming but it doesn’t take long for him.

MISC:

Is money a problem? Nope.How many cars do they own? Well he owns a fleet tbh but they actively use two.Do they own their home or do they rent? Chris would want them to own a home so that’d be an inevitability in time.Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? …Countryside??Do they live in the city or in the country? Beacon Hills is a town right? They live in Beacon Hills.Do they enjoy their surroundings? Chris hates Beacon Hills but it’s a nice enough town I guess.What’s their song? Not sure. He’s not really the type to have ‘a song’ with someone.What do they do when they’re away from each other? Probably just keep in touch via text/calls and get on with their own shit. Neither of them are overly clingy, as much as they love each other. They’re capable of functioning on their own too.Where did they first meet? In canon, outside the school, although it was implied they kinda knew each other (until season 3 when canon changed its mind).How did they first meet? When Scott and Allison skipped school and they started arguing outside parent-teacher night when Chris accused Scott of kidnap. Sorry Melissa.Who spends the most money when out shopping? Chris doesn’t really have any notion of ‘budgets’ tbh cause he’s never had to worry so he’ll just buy whatever they want.Who’s more likely to flash their assets? Well they’d only ‘flash their assets’ for each other.Who finds it amusing when the other trips over? Lbr it’d be Chris tripping over and Melissa would be doubled over laughing at him for being an idiot. And he’d probably never hear the end of it. If Melissa trips over he just finds it endearing but he won’t mock.Any mental issues? Chris for sure but it’s hard to categorise. He just needs a lot of support and patience when it comes to stuff like emotions and being open and not just compartmentalising. He’s been through a lot and lived through abuse and manipulation and conditioning so she’ll just need to be kinda gentle with him for a while. He also has some other underlying issues but I’m not going into a whole analysis rn.Who’s terrified of bugs? Idk they fight werewolves so it’d be weird if either of them are scared of a little bug.Who kills the spiders around the house? I feel like they’d just catch the and put them outside.Their favourite place? Anywhere they’re together but I think the woods are special to them cause it’s kinda where they fell in love. :’)Who pays the bills? 50/50 split as often as possible tbh.Do they have any fears for their future? There’s always the fear of not surviving a battle but they just stick together and keep moving forward.Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? I think they’d both be just as likely to do it, but he’d probably have more opportunities with her being at work and him mostly working his own hours/from home.Who uses up all of the hot water? They’ll use it together so it doesn’t matter.Who’s the tallest? Chris.Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other? If they’re not already showering together, it could be either. They might not have sex but it’s just nice time to hold each other and enjoy the intimacy. Also applies to baths.Who wanders around in their underwear? Chris mostly goes commando but he has a habit of just pulling his jeans on and walking around in just his jeans. Melissa would probably walk around in underwear/his shirts if the kids aren’t home.Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? Chris gets pretty into singing in the car with Allison so it could be either. He’d get into it with Melissa too once he’s more comfortable with her and stops being awkward.What do they tease each other about? She’ll tease him about everything probably cause he’s weird and a total nerd. I’m not sure what he’d tease her about.Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? They both have pretty good fashion sense so neither.Do they have mutual friends? Noah Stilinski and Natalie Martin for sure. Also Parrish. Maybe Derek. I think they’d get along well with Henry Tate if he didn’t disappear in canon. Also maybe the Yukimuras but I think after the Oni thing, Chris is a little cold with them – polite and pleasant but not friends. Melissa definitely has more friends than him.Who crushed first? Chris has been curious about her/enticed by her for a long time but she probably decided he was hot when they first met. Just also a total dick. :’)Any alcohol or substance related problems? Nah not really. Chris will have a habit of knocking back drinks without counting and figuring out that he’s drunk when he tries to stand up, but he doesn’t have any sort of addiction.Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? Chris probably but Melissa is more likely to go out cause she has friends and he just has Noah and Parrish.Who swears the most? Chris doesn’t really swear so Melissa.