#STOP IM YELLING ALL OF THESE ARE SO ACCURATE???

[tacticalhimbo]

WHICH HORROR TROPE IS YOUR OC?

tagged by the stunning @detectivelokis to take this uquiz [LINK] for my characters! gonna pick the ones i'm vibing with the most :p

i'll tag… @vendettamuses , @ladysanjo , and anybody else who wants to do this! i'm drawing blanks for names (￣▽￣*)ゞ

BAILEY HILL - THE KILLER

was there ever a choice? maybe, but that fork in the road is far, far behind you. you surround yourself now with sharp things, tools to harm, and they have become your only family. you are the thing that goes bump in the night, and you hunt for scurrying mice like a hungry cat. maybe, just maybe, though, one can finally put an end to your hunt, and allow you to finally rest.

ISHZA V'ATZE - THE ANCIENT EVIL

they have wronged you. perhaps, once, you were something powerful– something to be looked at with adoration and worship and fear. but time does not yield to you, and when you lay to sleep, you awake to find yourself forgotten. your rage is insatiable. no matter what, you will make sure they do not forget this time.

JODIE KANE - THE MONSTER

it was not your fault– at first, at least. you can not help being the way you are. and even if you could, would you choose to change? they met you with torches raised and screaming mouths, the only choice you had was to flee. but you will not stay away forever. they whisper your name in fear, and you will make sure you hurt them just as much as they hurt you.

MAXWELL HILL - THE SACRIFICE

a knife to your back is your first memory– it will also be your last. you cannot help but let things into your heart, such is your nature. time and time again, however, they hurt you and leave you to rot. but your heart remains open, and you continue to let more in. is it kindness, at that point, or is it sacrifice?

VINCENT "V" HALE - THE HAUNTED HOUSE

decrepit and falling apart at the seams; time has not been kind to you, has it? termites have nestled in your bones, and stray cats find comfort in your sinews. you may be victim to time and erosion, but your abandoned corpse remains a refuge for unwanted things. vermin and ghosts thank you. what greater kindness can there be than offering shelter?

[hella1975]

assigning a character the highest honour like *adds go home by julien baker to their playlist*

[bartxnhood]

all the stars | atwow

| sully!family x fem!sully!reader

summary: based on this request.

warnings: reading feeling insecure, crying, jake and neytiri being the best parents to you

word bank: skxawng- idiot. ite- daughter. sa’nok - mother. itetsyip - little daughter(endearing). mawey - calm.

a/n: hi my lovies !! this is my first ever avatar piece so i’m so very sorry if it isn’t entirely accurate. i also haven’t seen twow yet (but i’ve basically had the entire movie spoiled so😭) so, im always open for criticism and feedback. also this didn’t go in the direction i wanted it to but i still hope you all enjoy this one <3

not proofread

requests open

Copyright © 2023 bartxnhood. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.

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growing up as a sully had its hardships. you were different from the other na’vi people because of who your father was. they saw you differently, you had an extra finger, and you were slightly shorter than your siblings and the people in your village.

but, it never stopped your family from loving you unconditionally. jake was your number one supporter, as his firstborn daughter he was highly protective of you but he gave you the freedom you deserved because he knew you could handle yourself and he always kept an eye out for you.

neytiri, your mother was strong, brave, and capable of anything she had to do. you took a lot after her, you were skilled when it came to hunting. she taught you everything you knew. she was so proud to be your mother, to have you as her daughter. you were the most beautiful thing she had done.

you were very close with your siblings. growing up, you were still young with lo’ak was born but with kiri and tuk you would always play with them, you were the big sister everyone dreamed of.

with neteyam, it was different. sure, he may be older but you were always a helping hand if he needed you. or, if he was having a hard time he always came to you. he took care of you as an older brother should, but sometimes he just needs a shoulder to lean on.

“y/n!” tuk cheered as you walked back to your home, you had gone out with kiri for a while to enjoy nature and help your sister find some items for her jewelry making. “tuk-tuk!” you beamed as she ran into your arms. “i made you something!” she handed you a piece of jewelry she had made, “oh my, ewya, this is gorgeous!” you grinned, “thank you” she watched as you put the piece on and she giggled. “so pretty!” tuk left your embrace, leading you back home where you were met with the rest of your family.

on one occasion, lo’ak, neteyam, and your father went out to hunt for a while but when they returned you knew the atmosphere was dull. mostly coming from lo’ak, you felt his sadness. “did he yell at you again?” you pulled lo’ak to the side he nodded, hanging his head low. “i’ll talk with him, okay?” you smiled, bringing your younger brother into a hug. “stay out of trouble, skxawng” the both of you laughed.

you were the daughter and sister they adored.

though, when you arrived at the metkayina clan things shifted. you weren’t as happy as you used to be, and it was hard adjusting to the different lifestyle. it didn’t help how the people saw you as a demon, often making comments on your appearance.

of course, you changed. you were slowly beginning to hate yourself.

“ma ite” your ears perked up, whipping your head around to find your mother who was approaching. “sa’nok” you answered, looking down at the sand. “what is wrong my child?” she questioned, coming by your side. it was late into the night, you weren’t able to sleep. you were tired of being alone with your mind so, you decided to get up and sit for a while in attempts to clear your head.

your family had moved to the oceanside in hopes of refuge. unlike the others, you felt alone. compared to the forest this was all so different, you missed playing in the trees, laying in the lush forest grass with your siblings. getting used to the sand and water was different, but oh was it beautiful.

the others noticed how you were different they’d poke fun at your height, your hands, your fingers, and your hair. it hurt, you’d stay up every night wondering if you were the problem.

were you that much of a disappointment to your family?

you shrugged, turning and facing the sea. “i don’t know, mother” you lied, fidgeting with your fingers. “just could not sleep” you felt her hand rest on your shoulder, of course, you knew that she knew something was wrong. it was your mother, she knew everything. “something is troubling you” you nodded, pursing your lips. “what is it, my child?” tears welled in your eyes, ears flattened as you looked at your lap. “i’m alien. everyone hates me.”

neytiri felt her heartbreak, seeing you like this and thinking people could hate you. how could anyone hate her special girl? she pulled you close to her, resting her head on yours as you quietly sobbed into her chest “oh..itetsyip” she cooed, brushing your hair behind your ear.

“what’s going on?” jake emerges from the hut after hearing a bit of commotion. you both raised your head turning back to find your father. his eyes scanned you, and seeing your puffy eyes he went into full dad mode. then, he looked at neytiri and they held eye contact for a moment.

you weren’t okay.

“what’s wrong, babygirl?” he asked, coming to your side. you felt a lump in your throat when he asked, all this time you had been bottling it up and now, you were about to explode. “i’m so tired” you cried, falling into his arms. jake held you tightly, neytiri rubbing your back gently, “shhh, mawey mawey.” your mother hushed your cries.

“i’m sorry if i’m a disappointment, father. i’m trying my hardest” you cried into his arms. you weren’t able to take the pain much longer. you began to hate yourself. “look at me.” he pulled you from his embrace, holding your face. “you are not a disappointment. i don’t want you to ever say that about yourself again, okay?”

as a father, you’d never want to hear your children say they were a disappointment. you were the greatest thing jake ever did. “yes sir” you nodded, wiping away your tears. “my daughter.” neytiri grabbed your attention, wiping away your tears. “ewya blessed me with the honor of being your mother.” she smiled sadly, “more than all of the stars in the sky, you are so loved. ma y/n” she pressed a kiss on the top of your head.

“let us go to bed now, it is late.” she stood up, reaching for your hands and jake followed suit.

[starsandhughes]

Penalty Box Series— Cruel Weather (Part One)

requests: “I was wondering if you’d maybe do something about sissy getting seriously hurt (like a landing in the hospital kind of bad?) I honestly just really want to see all the boys protective and worried about her” and “Hi!!! Im absolutely in love with the penalty box series, and i was wondering if we could get a small blurb with sissy getting injured? ik you did a thing depicting how the boys would react, and im intrigued to see how that would play out:)”

requests based off this ask: how the boys would react to sissy getting hurt

warnings: major car accident, crying, surgery, broken bones, coma, mentions of God, mentions of medication, swearing

word count: 5.1k

General Series Masterlist

p.s. we go big or go home in this series, so be careful what you wish for ;)

p.s.s i did look things up in medical articles for this so it’s as accurate as i understood.

part one — part two — part three — part four

——————

SEPTEMBER 2021

It was storming.

Well, storming might be too kind of a word for what mother nature was throwing at you tonight. It was the most aggressive torrential downpour you’ve ever seen, let alone driven in.

It wasn’t raining that hard when you got into the car to pick up Trevor and Jamie from the gym, because Trevor’s car was in the shop, and the weather radar said the storm wasn’t due to hit until later that night. You tried to stay as calm and collected as you could while driving. You were gripping the wheel to keep your car from fishtailing and you were attentive to everything around you. Not every driver on the road was being as careful as you.

———

Trevor was pacing the foyer of the gym, constantly checking his girlfriend’s location on the big life 360 circle, which wasn’t refreshing and said that she hadn’t left home.

“She said she left twenty minutes ago!”

“It’s raining, Z,” Jamie tried to be reasonable, although he was worried, too. “She’s probably driving slow.”

“No, it was raining twenty minutes ago. It’s World War three out there right now!” Trevor yelled.

“Maybe she pulled over because she got scared?” Jamie offered a reasonable explanation.

“She would’ve called,” Trevor dismissed him.

“She could’ve called Quinn.”

Trevor stopped in his tracks and turned to face his best friend.

“You don’t know Quinn that well, but he would’ve had her at least text me. And I would’ve been the next person she called if he didn’t-“

Trevor was cut off by his phone ringing.

“Thank fuck,” he said relieved. His expression quickly changed, however.

“What?” Jamie asked, now joining on the concerned out of his mind train.

“It’s a hospital,” Trevor said. The color was drained from his face. “Hello?”

Jamie didn’t think it was possible, but Trevor got even more ghost white at whatever the person on the other end of the phone was saying. All he knows is that his best friend’s knees gave out and he had to catch him to ease him up against the wall on the ground.

“Z?! Trevor, what did the hospital say?!” Jamie kept tapping Trevor’s cheek to get him to respond, but he was too out of it. “Z, I need you to work with me here. Hey! Hey, look at me!”

“She’s…��

“She’s what, Trevor? Y/N?” Trevor nodded. “Is she okay?”

It was Jamie’s turn to turn white when he shook his head. Jamie was not only scared at the uncertainty of the condition Y/N was in, but at his best friend’s reaction. He knew that Y/N and Trevor were each other’s worlds, but he’d never seen Trevor like this. It was unnerving.

Jamie turned to look outside and saw that the storm was letting up, so he took the opportunity to call Fowler to pick them up. While he was waiting for Fowler to arrive, he took Trevor’s phone so that he could call Jack.

“What’s up, Z?” Jack answered.

“Jack! It’s Jamie. I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to spill it out.”

“What’s wrong? Is Z okay?”

“Um… It’s not Z that I’m the most worried about. He got a call from the hospital. I guess Y/N got into an accident, but he basically fainted and all I know is that he shook his head when I asked if she was okay,” Jamie spewed out.

He heard something drop and break over the phone, followed by someone’s shouts asking “what happened?”

“Jack?”

“I’ll call everyone else and get on a plane. Keep me updated. Can you give Trevor the phone?” Jack asked, his voice sounding like a drill sergeant. Jamie put the phone on speaker because he didn’t really know how catatonic Trevor was right now. “Okay, he’s here.”

“Trevor? Listen to me, okay? Sissy’s going to need you. I know you’re terrified right now, and I know you’re thinking of ways to blame yourself. She doesn’t need that. She needs her boyfriend to be with her. She needs you. I’m going to call everyone, so don’t worry about that. Take your time. Let Jamie help. But the second she opens her eyes, I need you to be strong for her if none of us are there, okay?”

Jamie waited for Trevor’s reaction, “He’s nodding.”

“I need more than that, Z,” Jack said.

“O- okay,” Trevor forced himself to speak, but it came out very shaky.

Shortly after Jack hung up, Cam arrived. He came running, semi knowing the severity of the situation. He took one look at his teammate on the ground and knelt down in front of him.

“Have you ever seen him like this?” Cam asked.

“Never,” Jamie answered.

“Alright, I’m going to pull my car to the front and then we’ll get him in the car.”

It took both guys to get Trevor on his feet and into the backseat of the car to drive to the hospital, and he remained silent the entire drive there.

———

Jack dropped his glass the second Jamie said “Y/N” and “accident” in the same sentence. He completely ignored his roommate’s questions. After hanging up with Jamie and Trevor, he had to make some not ideal phone calls. So he started with the hardest one. Quinn didn’t answer, instead sending him a text saying that he was busy and asked if he could call him back later. When Jack told him it was an emergency, his phone immediately rang.

“What’s wrong?” Quinn asked urgently.

“You might want to sit down,” Jack said.

“Jack, I’m at the gym with Petey, there’s not an ideal place to sit down!”

“Trust me, Q.”

“Alright, hold on.”

Jack waited while Quinn told Petey he was going to the locker room and made his way there.

“You’re not dying, are you?” his brother asked, worry coating his voice.

“No, it’s not me, um… Sissy got in an accident. I don’t how bad it is, but Trevor is basically catatonic right now,” Jack said, getting choked up at the end.

There was a long silence. All Jack could hear was Quinn’s breathing getting unsteady.

“Tell me she’s with you right now and decided to play a sick joke,” Quinn said.

“Quinn…”

“TELL ME YOU’RE JOKING, JACK!”

“I’m not,” Jack said shakily. His big brother losing it on the phone was enough for him to snap out of his take charge mode and finally start crying. “And I really wish I was.”

Quinn gulped, also trying to keep it together, “Do you want me to meet you in Anaheim, or do you want me to come get you?” Quinn asked.

“Anaheim is closer-“

“I will sit on a plane for an extra two hours if you need me to. I’ll call everyone else if you need me to. I’ll-“

“Go to her,” Jack cut him off. “Let me handle everything else. She needs you.”

“She needs you, too, Jacky,” Quinn said softly.

“Go to her. I’ll see you there.”

The rest of the phone calls to Luke, Cole, Alex, and his parents were just as hard. Just like Quinn offered to come get him, he offered to come get his little brother. And just like he did, Luke told him to go to Sissy. Alex was closest, so he would be there first. Quinn would likely be next, since he has the shortest flight time depending on when he could get on a plane. The rest of his family would likely beat him there due to the slightly quicker flight time. The race to Sissy for Cole and Jack would depend on who catches a place first. Whatever the case, Jack would be one of the last people there. And the thought of that made him sick.

———

When they arrived at the hospital, Cam insisted on coming in to support his teammates and Y/N.

“Jimmy, you’re forgetting every member of this team loves Y/N. I’ll take care of talking to Dallas to tell him you two won’t be at training camp for at least tomorrow. But I’m not leaving right now,” Cam said firmly.

Jamie nodded and they both got Trevor, who was still scarily out of it, out of the car and into the hospital. Cam sat down with Trevor in the waiting room while Jamie went to talk to a nurse running the desk.

“Hi, how may I help you?” she asked him.

“Uh… My name is Jamie Drysdale. My friend over there is the emergency contact for Y/N Y/L/N and I’m assuming her accident was bad because he’s really out of it and hasn’t spoken and I was hoping to get some information for him?” Jamie told her.

“And what’s his name?”

“Trevor Zegras.”

“Alright. It says here that she’s currently in surgery, so a doctor will be out when there’s any news,” she explained to him.

“What’s the surgery for?” Jamie asked urgently.

“I’m sorry, sir. I can’t discuss that information with you.”

“Can you tell it to her emergency contact?”

Jamie went to get Trevor when the nurse told him yes. He’s pretty sure the only reason he got Trevor’s attention was when he said his girlfriend’s name.

“Can I see some ID?” the nurse asked him.

Jamie dug out Trevor’s wallet from his back pocket and handed the nurse his drivers license. Trevor still wasn’t speaking, so they both just stood there expectantly.

“The impact from the other driver crushed the left side of her car. The damage was enough to require surgery to fix the comminuted fractures she endured in the accident.”

“So what does mean?” Jamie asked shakily.

“She had many breaks and fractures in many of the same bones in her leg, so the surgery is to implant internal fixtures,” the nurse explained. “Based off her chart, this is likely the first of a few surgeries.”

“O-okay. Thank you,” Jamie managed to get out.

The news was anything but helpful for Trevor. If anything, it made him worse. He was walking shaky again and it was even worse than when he originally got the phone call. Cam staying ended up being a good thing, because he rushed over to help Trevor back into a seat.

“How bad?” he asked.

“She’s in the first of who knows how many surgeries,” Jamie whispered to him.

All there was to do was wait. And wait. And wait.

Jamie didn’t know how much time had passed when Alex burst through the front doors to the hospital, desperately looking back and forth for his friends. Jamie raised his hand up to signal to him and he rushed over.

“How is she?” Alex asked him immediately.

Jamie got up and took him over to the other side of the waiting room to give Alex the quick run down on both Y/N’s condition and Trevor’s reaction.

“Has he ever done this?” Jamie asked him.

“No,” Alex shook his head. “I’ve never seen him not speaking. Even when he’d get upset. Even when things with Y/N got rough. He’s never been like this.”

“What did you do when things got rough with Y/N?”

“Got him drunk,” Alex tried to laugh.

“I don't think that'll work in this situation,” Jamie sighed.

“No,” Alex sighed, too. “It won’t.”

Alex became the bridge between everyone else’s flight times and updates on their arrivals and them. Most won’t arrive until late that night just because of flight schedules, but miraculously everyone managed to find a flight today. Everyone except Quinn, who couldn’t find a flight until five in the morning.

Two hours later was when a doctor finally came out. He informed the group that the first surgery was a success and that she should be waking up within an hour. Cam took this as his cue to leave so that the people closest to her would be all that was there.

It wasn’t a pretty sight when Trevor, Jamie, Alex, and the doctor, Dr. Walsh, stepped into Y/N’s hospital room. Most of the damage was to the left side of her body. Her left leg was wrapped and elevated in a sling, and her left shoulder was equally wrapped and propped on a large piece that almost looked like foam right next to her. Add all the wires and tubes attached to her, and she looked one step away from withering away.

“What was the surgery on?” Alex asked.

“It was to fix a series of comminuted fractures in her knee as well as her tibia. A cast cannot be applied until the swelling has gone down, so it’ll be held in traction for the next few days.”

“And the other surgeries she needs?” Jamie added on.

“It will just be one. She needs a total shoulder replacement to fix the damage that the crushing of her car door did.”

“Anything else?” Trevor finally spoke. Jamie and Alex whipped their heads to their friend that sat himself in the chair next to his girlfriend’s bed side.

“Besides the visible cuts and bruises, she has a severe concussion,” Dr. Walsh said.

“And you put her under anesthesia?” Jamie asked, shocked.

“We used a different kind of anesthesia that is perfectly safe for patients with a concussion. She’s completely healthy besides the injuries from her accident, so we aren’t expecting any complications.”

“Expecting?” Trevor asked.

“There’s always a chance for complications, but as of right now, we don’t believe she’ll experience any of them. She’s heavily sedated with pain medication, so she might not stay awake for long periods of time when she does wake up, but everything else should be perfectly normal.”

Trevor nodded and Jamie shook the doctor’s hand as he left the room.

“And now we wait,” he sighed, pulling up a seat next to Trevor. Alex grabbed a chair and pulled it up to her most injured side.

“We should’ve just driven her car to the gym,” Trevor said, refusing to look anywhere but his hands holding Y/N’s uninjured hand. “We knew it was going to rain, and we made her drive out in a storm, which scared the shit out of her, to get us.”

“Z, we didn’t know it would hit early,” Jamie tried to comfort his friend.

“But we knew it was coming! I should’ve called us an uber the second it started to rain early. She shouldn’t have been driving!”

“Trevor,” it was Alex’s turn to try. “She wouldn’t have driven in the rain if she thought it was unsafe or if she was having trouble with anxiety. You know that. She would’ve pulled over the second it got to the point where she couldn’t drive anymore and called you. This accident wasn’t her fault. She could’ve gotten into the same accident on a sunny afternoon. You can’t drop everything every time there’s a chance of rain. This isn’t on you.”

Trevor ran his hand through his hair and kept his other holding Y/N’s. His leg was bouncing a mile per minute and his breaths were sharp, but steady.

“Can I have a minute?” he asked, his voice cracking. Jamie and Alex said nothing, both only patting Trevor on the shoulder as they went into the hallway.

“The world shouldn’t be this cruel to you,” Trevor said. He was alone and finally allowed himself to cry. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if I lost you. I was- I don’t know. I blacked out for a while. And I shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t have had to rely on Jamie to even get here, and I think Fowler was involved, too. I remember Jack telling me I need to be here for you, and I am, but I’m not myself without you. And for most of tonight, I thought I’d have to learn how to be someone without you. I never want to know that man.”

Trevor started to cry even harder and couldn’t get any more words out. He laid his head down on the thin mattress, keeping his hand in yours. Jamie and Alex came back in when they heard his sobs. Jamie bent down and put his arm around his best friend, who did nothing but lean against him for support.

“She’ll be okay,” Jamie said low. “She has to be.”

An hour passed and Y/N had yet to wake up. She was heavily sedated, so the doctors weren’t worried yet.

Then another hour passed. And another. It was past nine. Her surgery started almost six hours ago, and ended about four hours ago. And she hadn’t woken up yet. Not for even a second.

The doctors finally decided Y/N’s lack of waking up from the anesthesia was cause for concern. All three boys were kicked out and sent back to the waiting room while they ran tests on her.

“I gotta call Quinn,” Trevor said and walked outside. He slid down against the brick wall outside and took a moment to breathe. His entire world was inside the hospital. And something was wrong. And he didn’t know what.

“Hello?” Quinn answered urgently. Trevor immediately let out a sob when he answered. He had to tell his girlfriend’s best friend her condition while he was over a thousand miles away.

“Trevor, what’s wrong?!”

“Something’s wrong,” Trevor choked out.

“What? What’s wrong, Z, spill it out!”

“They don’t know yet. She was supposed to wake up within an hour after surgery and she hasn’t yet. It’s been over four now,” Trevor told him slowly.

“Fuck!” Quinn yelled. A thud and the sound of something getting knocked over followed. “I should be there! If there was a fucking flight before tomorrow morning, I would’ve already been there!”

Trevor remained silently crying while Quinn paced back and forth. After a minute, Trevor heard Quinn’s voice again. Only he wasn’t speaking. He was crying. Trevor just sat against the wall and listened while he cried, too. Because that’s all they could do for each other right now.

By the grace of the universe, the Hughes parents plus Luke arrived. The three of them rushed over to Trevor, expecting the worst.

“What happened?! Is Sissy okay?!” Luke sputtered out. He didn’t give Trevor a chance to respond before he started speaking again. “Trevor!”

“She hasn’t—“ Trevor got too choked up. Ellen sat down next to him and put her arm around him. “She hasn’t what?”

“She hasn’t woken up yet. They’re running tests to see what’s wrong,” Trevor finally got out.

They stayed outside for a bit, Ellen taking Trevor’s phone to speak to her oldest son to try and help him calm down.

Jamie came out to get Trevor to inform him that the tests are done but the doctors won’t speak to him directly because he’s not an emergency contact, and was happily (as much as he could be) surprised at the arrival of Jim, Ellen, and Luke. He had only met them once, but greeted them with hugs anyway. He pulled Trevor up, and Luke pulled up his mom, and the five of them made their way back into the hospital so that they could talk to a doctor.

Ellen explained that they were Y/N’s family, so the doctor could finally talk to people that weren’t just Trevor. Which was good, because it was already taking a toll on him.

The update was anything but good. It was quite possibly one of the worst possible outcomes that didn’t involve dying.

“What we hoped was just delayed emergence from the anesthesia, was actually Y/N slipping into a coma. It’s not very common, but we have concluded that the cause was from her reaction to the drug mixture from the anesthesia and her antidepressants. The serotoninergic agents in her medication didn’t react normally. It’s rare, but not an abnormality. Now that we know the cause, we can begin treatment to help her awake from the coma,” Dr. Walsh informed the group.

Trevor’s knees began to give out again, and Alex and Jamie were the only reasons he didn’t completely fall to the floor. They helped him into a chair and a nurse that saw it happen quickly brought him some water.

While Jim and Ellen continued to talk with Dr. Walsh, Luke went back outside. He couldn’t take it. There were so many emotions pent up in him, and he didn’t know how to deal with it. He never had to. When Alex came out to find him, he was sitting just like Trevor was, trying not to sob.

“Hey,” Alex said as he slid down the wall beside him.

“Back in Sissy and Jack’s freshman year before the move, she twisted her ankle at the outdoor rink. She was crying and in pain and we weren’t sure if she had broken her ankle yet. She didn’t fall hard, so looking back we should’ve known, but I was a kid. I was scared.

“The second we got her off the ice, I gripped onto her hand. And suddenly she was trying to hold it together and play it off that it didn’t hurt that bad when it clearly did. Quinn was fussing over her and asking her why she was pretending to be okay. All it took was one look from her for Quinn to know it was because of me. He told Jack to take me away, but she refused. She told him that if I needed her to hold my hand, she wasn’t going to let go until I was okay. She knew I was scared. I’m terrified right now and she—“ Luke’s own cries cut him off, which seemed to be a common theme for everybody.

“I can hold your hand,” Alex tried to joke. Luke breathed out a laugh, “I’ll be okay.”

“Come on,” Alex said while getting up. “You can still hold her hand. Her right arm is free from all wraps and slings and everything else. You just have to be the strong one this time.”

———

When Trevor stumbled into Y/N’s room, he wasn’t expecting her to have a tube down her throat. He was expecting her to look just as he last saw her.

“Wh- what?” Trevor stammered. He rushed over the side of the bed to get a closer look. at her. Her chest rose with the pumping of the machine.

“Dr. Walsh said the coma has affected her ability to breathe on her own,” Ellen said as she walked in. “They had to intubate her.”

Trevor sat down in his chair and held Y/N’s hand in both of his. He brought it up to his lips and softly kissed each knuckle. He closed his eyes, still holding her hand to his face, and allowed silent tears to fall.

“Is she gonna die?” he squeaked, opening his eyes to look at Ellen.

Ellen pursed her lips, “The doctors say that with the new treatment plan, everything should work out and she’ll be awake in a couple of days.”

“They also said she’d be up within the hour. Now it’s six hours later and she can’t breathe on her own,” Trevor scoffed bitterly. The relief of bitterness only lasted for a moment. Luke came in and Trevor suddenly felt the need to step up for him. His brothers weren’t here, and his sister was in a coma. Luke gasped at the sight and slowly made his way to the end of her bed, placing his hands on the rail of the foot of the bed.

“You can sit here,” Trevor said softly as he got up.

“No, it’s okay. She’s your-“

“She’s your sister,” Trevor cut him off, speaking firmly.

Luke nodded and slowly made his way to the chair Trevor was just residing in. He sat down and tentatively took Y/N’s hand, careful not to touch the new IV implanted into her arm.

“Do you need a minute?” Trevor asked. He began to leave quietly with Ellen when Luke nodded. “Oh, by the way; Jack texted. His and Cole’s flights landed around the same time, so they’ll be here soon.”

“Thanks,” Luke croaked out while putting his elbows on the bed and brought his sister’s hand to his face.

“Fuck, Sissy,” Luke sighed. “Why is it always you? I know you say you’d rather be the one in pain instead of any one of us, but God gave you a decade’s worth of our pain in one accident.”

Luke was full on crying now.

“I can’t lose you. When I saw Trevor crying outside, I thought you died. I thought some stranger took you away from me. From us. And I-“

Luke couldn’t go on. His sobs were too harsh. Jack, finally arriving, rushed into the hospital room and pulled up a chair next to his younger brother and pulled him into his side for a hug.

“Turc told me I needed to be strong, but I can’t. I can’t be the strong one and I thought I lost her and I can’t lose her! I can’t lose Sissy, Jack. That’s not an option! And if she doesn’t wake up…”

“Hey, none of that,” Jack said, rubbing his hand up and down his brother’s back. “She’s one of the strongest people I know. She can be stubborn, but she knows when to ask for help. I’ll be there to help her, you’ll be there to help her, mom, dad, Quinn, Trevor, and everyone else that dropped everything and got here as fast as they could will be there to help. Nico already said he’ll visit soon. If you’ve told Duker, he’ll probably come, too. Sissy is so loved, and she knows it. She’s not gonna quit on us. She’s got a lot more tormenting left in her.”

Luke huffed out a sad attempt at a laugh and pulled away from his brother. He stood up and motioned for Jack to take his chair, “Your turn, Jacky.”

Jack smiled and thanked Luke before replacing his brother with himself in the chair closest to Y/N.

“I hate this. We all do. But the season will start soon, and I’ll have to go back to Jersey, which means I can’t be with you every step of the way. I’ll have to go back to a constant state of worrying about you. So if you could wake up within the next ten days, that would be doing me a huge solid, you know?”

Jack was trying to joke, hoping that you could hear him, but the tears became too much. He was trying to be the person holding everyone together. He was trying to take Sissy’s roll. But no one was okay enough to play her role for him.

Trevor knocked on the door and Jack motioned for him to come in, “How’s it going? You hanging on?”

“I’m trying,” Trevor answered honestly. “The Doctors are getting sick of us, by the way. At eleven they want us all gone now that she’s settled. One of us can stay the night, though.”

“You staying?”

“I assumed so. Quinn’s not here,” Trevor said. “Come on, Jamie wants a minute with her before he has to go. Everyone’s staying at our house.”

“Is Jamie cooking everyone breakfast?” Jack teased, once again searching for a way to lighten things.

“For your sake, I hope not,” Trevor lightly smiled back as they threw an arm around one another and made their way out of the room.

Jamie was quick to replace them, only having a few minutes before eleven.

“I don’t know if you can hear me, or if there’s some astral projection of you somewhere in this room like the movies, but I just want you to know that I’m here and that I love you. So many people dropped everything to be here, but if they couldn’t, I’d still be here. And I’ll be there for you every second once you’re released and we will figure something out once the season starts for everyone,” Jame took her hand in his, “We love you. Every single one of us. All of us have teammates texting us asking how you’re doing. You’re so loved by every person you meet. You don’t deserve this. You are the last person on Earth who deserves this. And I know you’ll say that you’re glad it was just you in the car and that you hadn’t picked me and Z up yet, but we aren’t. But none of us were going to be thankful for the same ending. Then you’d guilt trip us into agreeing to your face, but we all know we don’t agree. I’d rather have you cuddled unreasonably close to me and Z over a terrifying almost than facing this… cruel reality.”

Jamie stopped talking and let himself attempt to find comfort in the steady beep of the machine monitoring Y/N’s heartbeat. It was steady; it was in sync with the pumping of oxygen into her frail body.

“It’s not fair,” Jamie squeaked out through tears.

Everything came crashing down at once for Jamie. He had been holding it together for Trevor for so long; he didn’t get a chance to properly feel anything. Sobs wracked his body as he put his head down on the bed and gripped her hand tightly. Trevor heard him and came rushing in. He stood next to the chair and wrapped his arms around his best friend, a sight no one thought they’d ever see.

“She was coming to get us,” Jamie cried. Trevor hugged him tighter, “I know… I know.”

They stayed like this for as long as they could before Jim popped in and informed them that they had to go. Trevor promised to call them if anything as little as a blink happened, and that was finally enough to get Jamie to willingly leave.

Sleep was not coming easy for Trevor. He knew it was highly unlikely that his girlfriend would wake up, the doctors said it might take a few days for the delayed emergence to end and that she was so sedated from pain medication that it would take a while, but he couldn’t help but have hope.

“You’d probably scold me for not being able to sleep,” Trevor huffed a laugh. “I can practically hear you using my full name and physically shoving my body onto the bed and doing a full dramatic show of tucking me in.”

Trevor pulled up a comfier chair that was brought in and propped his legs up on another chair to attempt to get comfortable.

“Goodnight, sweet girl,” Trevor said as he kissed Y/N’s forehead. “I’ll be right here if you need me. I love you, forever.”

[noxxchive]

✦ Dazai and Chuuya childhood headcanons (2/2) ✦

part 1

!!! THIS POST CONTAINS STORMBRINGER SPOILERS !!!

♫ Orchard - OMORI

✧ warnings : STORMBRINGER SPOILERS・mentions of s*icide, death, hospitalization, alcoholism, etc.・angst・pure angst…・ooc (???)

✧ a/n : got way too long im sorr… but I love chuuya so much and all these headcanons have been eating dust in the back of my head and im so happy (lie) to finally post them

w/c : 950

!!! these are just personal headcanons and are not accurate to the canon story !!!

✦ Chuuya :

Chuuya’s parents weren’t blessed with a child even after years of marriage…

…So when he was born, they were so happy that they celebrated 3 days and nights (like the real Chuuya Nakahara !!)

Such a sweet boy… very polite and a tiny bit shy

He actually had an amazing bond with both his parents

And they loved him a lot, too!

How mini Chuuya would help his mom around the house, how he would randomly tell her that he loves her :,^)

Chuuya was probably interested in his father’s work (military doctor, like the real Chuuya’s father!!)

AUGHH he would peek at his dad working with those big blue curious eyes

Also, unlike Dazai, I headcanon that Chuuya has siblings!

2 little sisters!!

When his first little sister was born, he was probably around 3 or 4

Was quick to grow attached to his sister

And when his second sister came around, he was around 7

Was very overprotective of his sisters, and had a big soft spot for them

Would piggyback carry their younger sister every morning to school while holding his other sisters hand

Brilliant kid

Adored by absolutely everyone and everything

Chuuya and the family dinners with the rest of the Nakahara family SIGHHH

His mom always worried about him not eating enough (even though he did.)

His dad developed this hobby and habit of checking Chuuya and his sisters’ heights and mark them on the wall

Chuuya wasn’t the happiest when he figured that his younger sister was nearly the same height as him…

And regarding Stormbringer and how he was put in a lab…

Ohhh how his mom was losing her mind over Chuuya’s father allowing such a thing

His family kind of… grew distant and fell apart from then on

Constant arguing between his parents while he was in the lab… how his sister would cover their younger sister’s ears each time they’d argue

She’d ask where Chuuya had gone every now and then, but it was like a forbidden topic in the house

His mom would either tear up or just lash out on his sister

And his dad would yell and cuss her out, saying things like “Goddammit stop asking stupid questions! He’s fine for god’s sake!!! Be patient and he’ll be back sooner than you think!!!”

Chuuya’s dad wasn’t very happy with the decision he made either

Regretting it like crazy and losing sleep, losing focus…

And once the news broke that their one and only son was dead (aka his clone… fuck stormbringer bro…)

His family was worse than ever before.

Chuuya’s dad cried… a lot. Fell into being an alcoholic for a long time

His sisters? Despite their young age and how they couldn’t wrap their heads around the idea of death…

They were devastated. Completely had their hearts and souls shattered

But his mom… she was the worst out of them all

It broke her so much that she couldn’t even cry over her son’s death

She was left in a daze, unaware of her surroundings and just… in her own world

Though, once it registered in her mind? How she would scream and cry at odd hours of the night, begging for Chuuya…

She would push away anyone who would try to comfort her, hit them and curse them out, only wanting Chuuya

Even though Chuuya’s ‘death’ had sunk in and she understood it, she’d scream at everyone to get away from her and that ‘only Chuuya can come close to her’

S*icide attempts became a regular thing

…the amount of times Chuuya’s dad was called during work hours and just rushed home to stop his wife from taking her life…

His sister lost sleep and stopped being the top student at school because of how difficult everything had become

Their younger sister was a bit better, considering she was small

But it still hurt, she’d call Chuuya out of habit, just to remember that he was never gonna answer her calling out to him

His mom’s situation got so bad that she was hospitalized for years

And even now that the entire Nakahara family has accepted Chuuya’s ‘death’

His mom hasn’t. She’s doing a lot better than before getting hospitalized but…

She always seems to be spaced out. She doesn’t smile or laugh, and even when she does… it seems forced and it’s only for a brief moment

His mom doesn’t talk much, not to anyone

She often spends her time talking to framed pictures of Chuuya. She still cries every now and then, but tries to hide it…

And honestly? I think that Chuuya has considered going back to his family

He’s coincidentally seen his sisters and made sure they got home safely from school/work while watching from afar… then return to his own work

It scares him to go back, not only because of him putting their lives on the line for being a mafia executive

But also because he’s supposed to be ‘dead’. That’s what his family believed and has learned to live with…

So if he were to show up at his childhood home, he’d make them confused

And he can’t even imagine how they would react if he were to go back

So Chuuya just watches over them from a distance…

But maybe, just maybe one day he’ll gather up the courage and listen to the voice in his head telling him to go back

That day won’t be anytime soon, not now. He can’t go back until he’s sure the time is right for him to do so.

Until then, Chuuya just prays that they’ll stay safe and alive…

That’s when he can return to his family, his home…

[italiansteebie]

Idk if it was u or someone else that has already done this but I need Steve so out of it (hit his head or high or sum??) he literally forgets to speak English- like maybe he’s just saying stuff in Italian and he’s so confused bcuz no one understands him and he realizes he’s speaking his first language and not English.

Also the party would be drooling after him like?? He’s already cute and he speaks more then one language? Literally screaming!!!

tbh i've probably written something similar to this but for you anon, i'll do it again.

--

steve was walking, and if we want to get technical, he was really wandering, with robin trailing behind him. they weren't paying attention, they weren't really thinking, so.

it just so happened that steve wandered right into an opening door, and he fell back and smacked his head on the side walk. robin proceeded to lose her shit, cackling loudly before realizing he'd actually been hurt.

"oh, shit. dingus. are you okay?"

"oh fuck, i killed him!"

and what a surprise that was. eddie just so happened to cause this brutal door attack. his head was already swimming from the fall and now he has to form words around eddie? really?

"non sono mort." he mumbled, reaching back to run the spot where he hit his head.

"oh my god. he's having a stroke, he can't talk. call 911!" eddie was always one for the dramatics.

"robin, smettila di urlare. per favore."

"is that... italian??"

"non essere ridicolo. sto parlando un inglese semplice."

"steve. oh my god. parli italiano sul serio."

and that caused him to realize what he'd been doing.

"oh no! ha fatto perdere il mio inglese!"

robin doubled over in laughter. she knew it wasn't serious enough to call an ambulance, just knocked a few screws out of place.

"what? what'd he say?! oh my god. i changed steve's language. quick find the reset button!"

this only caused robin to laugh harder, her face turning red and tears leaking from her eyes. steve started to giggle at the sight, but eddie was still watching them, wide eyed.

"are- did i hit steve so hard it started effecting you too?"

as robin sobered up, she took a few shuddering breaths before she realized what just happened. "you speak italian! since when?" she shoved her finger in steve's face.

he groaned, "since always." he brightened, "hey! it's back."

"so i- i didn't change your language?"

"no. he's bilingual."

"oh! so you just decided that for me? you told me that stuff was personal, rob. but what does that have to do with you speaking italian?"

robin laughed shortly, "that's bisexual, dingus. bi lingual means you speak two languages."

"oh. then yeah. im bilingual."

"yeah, we've covered that. but since when?"

steve shrugged. "it'd be odd if i couldn't talk to my mom, right?"

robin shook her head. "it's like every time you open your mouth i found out some new lore about you, steve." and he just shrugged.

and eddie was still there watching this whole thing, trying not to pop a stiffy at the idea of steve speaking italian to him, all slow and sexy- no! bad eddie! steve is hurt, this is not the time.

"so." he dragged out. "i'm okay, ed's." steve assured. "yeah. okay, um. are you... so like. you're one bi... are you the other bi too... or?" eddie said awkwardly.

steve blushed and robin gagged. "yeah. is this your way of asking me on a date?"

eddie nodded dumbly.

"okay. tomorrow? bennys at 6?"

"uh. uh huh."

"sounds good, ed's. i should probably get my head checked out now. a domani, amore mio."

and that was it. suddenly eddie felt like he just got hit with a door. he was still reeling from the interaction when robins distant squealing broke him from his trance.

he shook his head.

steve's got more layers than he thought.

// i did use google translate so it won't be accurate.

"i'm not dead."

"robin, stop yelling. please."

"don't be ridiculous. im speaking plain english."

"you're speaking italian. seriously."

"oh no! he knocked my english loose!"

"see you tomorrow, my love."

[mysticsublimeperson]

<< part 2 >>

Merlin woke up feeling cranky, he didn't exactly sleep. It resembled more to several disgusting and sweaty naps, and a lot of self deprecating introspection in between.

So Merlin decided to stop trying around 10 am, and moved to the sofa. He didn't have anything to do that day, they weren't waiting for him in the lab, nor in the office, they all thought he would have been too hangover. Funny.

He needed to get out, to get coffee, to try and look for a new perspective, or at least a solution, so he got up and dressed and went to open the door.

A sharp thud sounded when something collide to the ground.

"Arthur?"

"Shit, er... Merlin, sorry, good morning?" Arthur was trying to blink away the heaviness.

"Were you sleeping in my hallway?" Merlin was really confused now. Arthur had always been a bit of a prat, and he grew up rich (and still was very rich, even if he denied it) so he was posh. In all the years he knew him, Arthur had never volunteered himself to discomfort, because he could afford not to.

"Yeah, I.. Well, you told me to go, but then I thought that if I went then I would have to come back in a few hours, and well it was really early in the morning, and I didn't bring my car, so I would have to call for a car and then, well come back, and wold spend like a proper half hour just pacing around my flat, just so far away from you... guessed you also wouldn't be answering your phone, so waiting here seemed like the better option. But now that I say it out loud, it sounds kinda stalk-ish" He said sheepishly, his voice was still deep, and slow. Trying to recover from sleep. He stood up, but was supporting in the door frame. "It's just... you seemed really upset. I know I was the reason, but" he gulped "you are always for me when I'm like that..." Merlin sighed.

"Come in" Merlin talked with a controlled voice. He would have wished for a little more time to figure this out, but if he was honest maybe more time would have only made him more paranoid.

"I, er, yeah, thank you" It was extremely strange to hear Arthur so insecure, but Merlin needed to focus on his situation, and not fall into old habits. "How.. How did it go? Yesterday I mean, sorry I didn't ask sooner"

Bad, he wanted to say.

You ruined it, he wanted to shout.

I missed you, he wanted to cry.

"Fine, I guess" he didn't want to offer information, he sat in the sofa again.

Arthur gulped again and put on a tight smile. "I see" sitting beside him.

"And you? How was your dinner?" Merlin suddenly felt tired again, he didn't want to shout, or yell, he didn't want to incriminate or fight, he just wanted this situation to be over. "Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

Arthur opened and closed his mouth several

"Merlin. I am so sorry" he said after a while. Without looking at him. "I know there's no excuse... and the way I treated you when you arrived here too... you didn't deserved that" his voices sounded tight.

If this had been any other day, Merlin would have folded, he would have told him that it was forgotten. Any other day, Merlin would have bitten the bullet of disappointment, and would have try to understand his point of view, his situation. Any other day...

"Arthur" he said after a long silence "I think it's time for us to rethink about what we want from this relationship" he could see the moment all the muscles in Arthur's body tensed up.

"What do you mean?" He sounded so scared, and Merlin fought the urge to hold him.

"What I mean Arthur it's that, this relationship can't go on like this forever" Merlin breathed slowly, trying to express himself as accurately as posible "I feel like im living on borrowed time with you, and even if you are the one in the wrong, I feel like I should just be grateful to have you a little longer, no matter how you much you may hurt me"

"That's not true Merlin, please, I would never intentionally hurt you. how can you think that? I love you" he finally looked Merlin in the eye. They were red and swollen, and a bit desperate.

"I know you love me Arthur, I believe you" he tried to swallow the knot in his throat "but sometimes that's just not enough" Merlin sat back at the sofa, looking at the ceiling. The same ceiling he had been looking since he arrived yesterday, thinking the same things, over and over. "I know you love me, and I love you, more than anything. But I also know that you would never invite me to a company dinner, you would never even acknowledge me in front of your coworkers, you would purposely hide me from your dad..."

"Merlin" Arthur said his name like a warning.

"Im not trying to be resentful Arthur" Merlin spat "they're just facts. Like the fact that you hate your job, and it makes you miserable. But you would never leave. Even if it's a shit job, at a horrible and inmoral company" he kept his tone neutral, he wanted to make a point "I would never ask you to leave, because a would never want to put you in a position where you would need to choose"

"Merlin" now his name sounded like a prayer, and a question.

"I think I always knew that I really never had a chance if you had to choose" suddenly his voice quivered.

"That's not..."

"Arthur please!" he really didn't want to hear empty promises, so he made a gesture for him to wait "I told you that yesterday was important, you knew that. And you choose him" he will not cry, no more "You ditched me, last minute. You left me alone even though I told you I Wanted you with me" his words bouncing on the walls.

"I didn't think..." Arthur was trembling a bit. And he looked like his world had been rocked and put upside-down.

"Arthur, you already have a life planed out. And you are the one that's choosing to keep it that way, you are going with the plan. And one day I will have to see how the papers and magazines cover the stories of you ascending to CEO of the world's most evil construction company, and marrying a young nice pretty girl, who is really boring and bratty but also insanely rich and has good connections, and have three beautiful very normal and healthy kids... all while I keep fighting with my little NGO to change the status quo that you reinforce. Don't you see that you don't have space for me in your future?" all the resolve to keep his cool abandoned him mid speech but at least he got it out. Arthur was looking at him like he had just told him that he only had a minute to live.

"I don't see a future without you Merlin" Arthur said, really softly, eyes shining with soon to be shed tears.

It hurt Merlin to hurt Arthur.

He never wanted to hurt Arthur.

Merlin brought up his legs and hugged his knees, hiding his face momentarily biting his lips hard, while blinking away the tears. "I love you Arthur, and I don't think I could leave you alone if I wanted to. But I think this relationship... it puts unfair expectations, for both of us" Merlin swallowed "It's not fair for me to expect something you are not ready, nor willing to give" he argued as calmly as he could. "I suppose we work better as friends"

He could see Arthur wanted to fight.

He also could see that Arthur had seen his point.

"What if...?" Arthur started, shaky. "What if I leave?" Merlin's brows furrowed confused. "My father, I mean. What If I leave him? What If I leave Pendragon Constructions? Everything... what if i..." he was starting to stammer and was not making sense. So Merlin took his hands.

"Why would you do that?" I was the genuine confusion in his expression that made Arthur sob.

"Because I love you Merlin!" he practically screamed with broken voice and desperate eyes. "please" begged silently.

"I think that if you do that. You'll resent me, eventually" he tried to reason while giving a reassuring squeeze to his hold "He is your father Arthur, you love him, and you want to make him proud, I understand that" even when he knew what it meant for himself "But you also are better than he could ever be" he assured "You won't ever lose me, I'll just need some space"

"I don't think I can do that" Arthur spoke carefully while caressing his hand "I don't know how to, I don't want to" he breathed trying to calm himself. "But I will try for you if you want me to" he swallowed "But don't misunderstand. I am not giving up on us. I won't" using his hold he pulled Merlin in for a hug. "I am sorry, I am sorry I disappointed you, I am sorry you felt like that, but above all I am sorry that you are right" he hugged him strongly and Merlin tried and failed nor to melt in his arms. "But this won't be the end Merlin, you are right for now. I will work, everyday, every moment to deserve you, to make you feel loved, to prove to you and to myself that I can become the man that you think I can be, and when that day arrives, Merlin I will sweep you off your feet" he talked those words like it was a threat, directly in his ear, while holding him close, so Merlin decided that just one last time, he would believe in him.

He would keep hoping.

[lovemyromance]

You know that scene in the Jim Carey grinch when he yells “I’m an Idiot” into the cave and the echo says “You’re an idiot!” back at him instead? I feel like that is the glenriel echo chamber in a nutshell. THAT is the real take away from the fated mates quiz that was posted today.

I think the issue in this fandom is that people tend to take things very, very personally. Ive seen it on all sides, but it's especially prevalent when we take a look at some of these Gwynriel theories. Gwyn became a self insert character for many because she's just vague and secondary enough that she has no real flaws and is not very complex or fleshed out. She does a few brave things and is generally kind and pretty - and people just latched on.

Any idea that Gwyn isn't a main character, any mention of the lightsinger theory, any whisper even that Gwynriel isn't backed by evidence from the books - that is something they are going to take very personally. Because even if objectively, all those things are true, these people are using Gwyn as a self insert. So they are hearing people say:

"Gwyn is not an MC" = "you're not a main character"

"Gwyn could be a lightsinger" = You're a cruel evil lightsinger"

"Gwyn and Azriel aren't mates" = "you're not gonna end up with azriel"

And that doesn't seem like something they want to hear. So they lash out, go crazy with their crack theories even more than before. They take it as a personal insult when it is just something that is objectively true. They accuse everyone of being anti Gwyn when they dont support Gwynriel when they are really two separate things.

I'm sure they'll find some way to spin this fated mates quiz anyways. Or more likely, the Eluciens will spin it because Lucien was an option and try to push the Elucien agenda, which the Gwynriels will hop on board for just to say "ofc SJM wouldn't spoil Gwynriel in a quiz 🙄"

That's what happens when you form a conclusion and then read the books to zero in on any scrap of text you can twist to fit that conclusion. When you read backwards, you form backwards opinions 🤷🏻‍♀️

People have got to understand that being anti a ship doesn't mean they hate that character. All I see Eluciens & Gwynriels do is accuse people of hating Lucien and Gwyn. Which is crazy. Nobody hates them, im pretty sure feelings towards these characters have only soured due to the insanity of the fandom, not the books or characters themselves.

And I've been very clear about this. For example, Lucien was actually my favorite character in ACOTAR. But when SJM stopped writing him, I stopped liking him as much. When Lucien and Elain were declared mates in ACOMAF - I was actually in support. It was only in ACOWAR did I see how unsuited they were for each other that I realized I don't think this ship is endgame. I reached that conclusion without hating Lucien or Elain - imagine that?

Furthermore, I actually got Lucien in that fated mates quiz. And I was not surprised nor was I disappointed by the answer. It tracks. If I were to go for a man, it would definitely be someone like Lucien. Even my current boyfriend has the same kind of traits as Lucien (dry wit, snarky, but able to switch to polite and charming at the drop of a hat).

But that's the important distinction. I, personally, would go for a man like Lucien. But I am not Elain.

And I know that. I am able to objectively read these books and form accurate conclusions because I don't let my personal preferences cloud my judgement of what is on the actual page.

I might personally prefer a man like Lucien, but Elain clearly does not. She wants nothing to do with him.

And if people were able to stop with the self-inserts and obsessions over fictional men, they would be able to read these books with a clear mind. The way they were meant to be read.

[catbeeisafraid]

I don’t have like a ton to say about this but I have mixed feelings- also spoilers ✨

I like Crystal I really do but at times her dialogue bothered me and some of her behavior was kind of obnoxious to me- like at times when she started aggressively inserting herself into situations and just kind of made it about her? Like in episode seven (though this happened many other times too) where she was having a total fit about not going to hell when it’s clearly for her own good and not about her no matter how much she cares? and I totally understand that this is her being written as an immature teenager who hasn’t been dead or a teen for 30-100 years but as a teenager this sort of selfish immature writing kind of gives me icky feelings because I know so many people who are mostly emotionally intelligent not just raging all the time.- and I mean that for a lot of teenagers and teen girls in writing, to make them tough and likable they are made volitile and annoying which to me is not likable (my opinion, I just don’t like the trope that’s not what I’m talking about right now anyway-) I do think she had good development and I liked her a lot better by the end, some people on other forums were saying that her actress was weaker than the rest of the cast and I don’t really know about that? I think maybe she was artificial at times but I’m blaming that on the writing. I also didn’t like her dialogue about her “crazy demon ex” either, it felt very forced? -Not her emotions about the whole mind cage thing I get that but just all of the “UGH WHY ARE THEY SO FUCKING NOSY IM JUST TRYING TO GET OVER MY STUPID STUPID CRAZY ABUSIVE STALKER DEMON EX BOYFRIEND UGHHH ILL DOUBLE KILL THOSE BOYS IF ITS TGE LAST THING I DO” that felt out of place to me- Lastly I get that this is also an aspect of her teenager-ness but I didn’t like the amount she cursed? I have no qualms with cursing but it felt to me like when little kids and middle schoolers start cursing where they just explosively yell fuck when like literally nothing warranting that kind of expletive has happened? She curses too often it makes her sound really stupid? Like the ep 7 “take me to hell I won’t die” thing, she was screaming at Charles who was being pretty reasonable like “fuck that I’m going he’s my fucking friend too fine then fuck it- fuck you ill find another way to get to hell” like yes she was emotional but that isn’t what teenagers sound like guys?

idk- I’d love to hear what other people think and to be clear I do like her I just focused on the negative- I guess it’s a human thing. She had lots of strong points just I ending up not liking how much she was on screen, this isn’t really about you? It’s about the dead boy detective? Give me more ghosts or Edwin or Charles or Jenny or Niko or Mr walrus please? They were fun I like them? I just felt like there were times where she was over shadowing Edwin and Charles and they are what’s actually important to the show? I think I’d like her more in smaller doses- I felt like I spent too much time having to stop and be like “girl step back this is not about you, you are not the star right now”

and to the argument of her actress being inexperienced or over acting or just not great- I have no specific feelings on this but like the other main cast had for the most part very little screen acting experience and were Fantastic so i don’t know what to feel in that area? so yes, i think crystal is an interesting character and i think she grew on me and developed in the season but i also definitely think that she’s annoying and I’m conflicted because i don’t want to not like her-..

what are your thoughts? Id love to hear different perspectives but please be nice to me because I’ll probably delete this and cry (unless that was your goal, then carry on)

that was all like super ramble-y sorry- but I hope I communicated semi accurately! Thank you

[url0calcrvckhead]

Incorrect Quotes feat. people I think are really cool!!

I did get their permission to put them in this so don't worry!!

@dia-smthidk @moshieee @hootbon @sm-baby @rabid-mercenary15

Also none of this is meant to be accurate, this is just what I think from what I've seen

𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓

Dia: If there’s one thing I learned from Rabid, it’s to set people’s expectations real low, so you end up surprising them by practically doing nothing at all.

𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓

Moshie: Why would you do that? Dia: Because I feel guilty. Rabid: Guilt is a trick emotion. It’s put there by your parents to stop you from doing things that feel good.

𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓

Sm-Baby: Hey Rabid. Rabid: punches Sm-Baby in the stomach Sm-Baby: What the fuck? Rabid: You are one of my very best friends. And I cannot stand by and watch you throw away your life like this. You're too young….YOU'RE TOO BEAUTIFUL! Sm-Baby: What the fuck are you talking about? Rabid: I'm talking about the baby that's growing inside of your belly right now. Bon: See ya! leaves Sm-Baby: I'm not pregnant! Rabid: Well, not after that punch you're not. I've been taking muay thai classes. Sm-Baby: I was never pregnant, Rabid! Rabid: Are… you sure? Sm-Baby: Yes I'm fucking sure! Dia: I'm sorry, but why the fuck is everybody yelling over here? Rabid: Oh, I found this positive pregnancy test and— Dia: punches Sm-Baby in the stomach Sm-Baby: AW, MOTHERFU--

𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓

Sm-Baby: If we lose, you’re out of the will. Rabid: I was in the will?

𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓

Rabid is speaking on the phone Rabid: Yeah, I'm with Sm-Baby. Sm-Baby: Im fucking dying- Rabid: Yep, they're okay. Sm-Baby: I have a knife in my chest! Rabid: No, they can't talk right now. They're sleeping, sorry. Sm-Baby: IM BLEEDING OUT-

𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓

Bon: There is no i in happyness… Rabid: There is if you fucking spell it right.

𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓

Sm-Baby: Why would you think any of this was a good idea?! Rabid: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence. Sm-Baby: Oh… Dia, from across the room: I don’t understand how you keep forgetting that.

𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓

Rabid: I think it’s time I get my life in order. Moshie, narrating: But they did not get their life in order. In fact, they got drunk last night and fought a raccoon.

𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓

Bon: I'm at a loss for words! Rabid: Despite being ‘at a loss for words’, Bon yelled at me for the next 45 minutes.

𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓

Sm-Baby: As a responsible adult- Bon: chuckles Sm-Baby: … As a responsible adult—

𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓

Sorry if some people aren't put with others as often and that Rabid is on half of them, I just went with who would best fit them....

[lakesbian]

what are your animorphs thoughts on how the characters have been changing over the course of the series so far? also, do you have a favorite animal moment in the ones you’ve read?

okay this got long due to my rambling so its going under a cut

well i can't say i have any profound analysis on how they've been changing but it's fun...jake rocks because he very rapidly went from "why are you guys saying im the leader im not the leader stop saying im the leader" -> someone has to be the leader, they want it to be me, i'll take the responsibility for making the calls that could get people killed and he Is becoming more repressed and solemn over time about it but he's also great at like. having internal spirals over it and shaking like a leaf and becoming very reactively resentful of both himself for not knowing what to do and everyone else for expecting him to know what to do. & sometimes people are like aww jake it's not your fault but sometimes they yell about how he's the one that got them into this mess so he has to get him out of it while internally regarding him as genuinely being the facade he puts up (<- even marco does this it's dire for jake) so you know. he's not doing so hot. shoutout to when cassie is like so what you're not supposed to be human? and he's like that's exactly right i'm not supposed to be human. it's fucking over for him marco has started calling him Prematurely Middle-Aged. he is turning into brian laborn. i like how they know they can still strategically coerce Whimsy and Immaturity out of him (e.g. 'letting' them sneak into a hollywood concert thing) by appealing to specific teenagerisms of his (shaq will be there).

veryfunny how they. put an arc about tobias navigating [checks notes] accepting his therian identity in the 90s children novels. just straight up. they gave birdboy a stomach-fluttering creeping lack of ability to stay in denial while a higher being was showing him his ideal body moment. They gave birdboy a "rachel is forced to accept who he is and stop solely thinking of him as a human tragically locked away by finding that only appealing to his true self as a red-tailed hawk rather than as a human can bring him out of being lost in a morph" moment. Also, he was autistic about dinosaurs as a child. i fear perhaps he'll have less focus for the rest of the series because his personal arc has like. more or less been sorted already. he's good now. there is the chosen one™️thing coming up still but i like that significantly less than him being just some guy so that's not really exciting. it's nice for him that his life is cool and awesome now though. i will say it's funny how almost every time the animorphs describe each other in their books they're just so wildly off-base (generally in the 'falling for the facade' way but it was funny when marco just confidently rattled off statements about rachels purported secret insecurities that were not even remotely accurate) and with tobias everyone is still like. poor soul. forever trapped in the body of a hawk. and then you cut to tobias and every time he's not in hawk morph he's complaining and bitching and moaning about how he wants to be back in his REAL body with his REAL eyes because they're SO MUCH MORE AWESOME. he's good, guys. he's fine. he's chill.

i am on the. checks notes. second chapter of the Cassie's Spontaneous Mental Break Over Doing Violence book. i like how she had an entire book dedicated to that one specific experience some kids have of being A Kid Who Loves Animals (TM) and then processes that bad things happen all the time in nature + human morality with regards to caring for animals is complicated and biased and gets really distressed about pondering the matter. like you know that type of experience. love that she gets an entire book dedicated to having it. fantastic character trait that she's the most prone out of all of them to having morality debates with herself and distress over the idea of choosing wrong to the point where she genuinely needs someone (marco) to explain to her that inaction is in itself a decision. girl who is very sick and tired of bloodshed, and also keeps accidentally murdering people. remember when she's like [trying 2 joke] i dont want to decide...could you just decide for me jake and jake is like [seriously, completely aware she wasn't kidding on a deeper level] do you Want me to decide for you? it is perhaps most necessary for her over all the other morphs that she gets to Not Be The Person Making The Final Calls. this does not stop her from having increasingly many little moments of nervous breaks before she gets so upset she tries to hard-quit though. should be interesting to see where that goes over the course of the entire series because she has a lot more books to suffer badly through

rachel is like. i think she's the slowest boiling pot here. she's had one (1) moment of really getting snappish about her role being The Brave One but other than that she's largely going "unfortunately i cant stop talking (instinctively immediately calling marco a pussy when he says something is scary and then throwing myself into it to motivate everyone even if i am also so very scared)" and then continuing to play out her role. it's been cute to watch her friendship with marco develop they're by no means each others favorite but they're playful with each other and they're learning how to read each other. i like when rachel is like hmm i think i hear your mom on a submarine and hes like thanks rachel [thinking] if she says youre welcome shes lying to be nice and shes like. Thank you for having better hearing than you? Loser. and hes like oh thank god. it's also very cute when he steals the tv remote while they're all hanging out in a hotel room and acts like he's gonna turn it to baywatch and she gets annoyed and then he puts it to xena warrior princess for her and shes like oh ok :). she is always getting ripped and torn to shreds and almost dying and it may actually be traumatizing the other animorphs marginally more than it traumatizes her. i think thus far my favorite scene with her is when she's traveling with tobias during megamorphs 2

aximili is like. he can be kind of nothing when it's not his book but his characterization is overall really solid. kind of enamored with how much having dinner with cassie impacted him. i want to see more of his developing friendship with tobias...i like how in his head he's like "and we're Best friends :)" without checking to see whether or not tobias also thinks this. deeply deeply funny character in terms of literally being a jock who didnt pay very much attention in school sent back 400 years and expected by everyone he meets there to, like, explain how to invent electricity when all he knows is what electricity is. i think during the dinosaur episode he should have started insufferably asking the other animorphs to explain how to invent a cellphone/water purifier/etc to make a point. bonus points because he comes from a society where being considered more technologically knowledgeable than other warriors is literally a huge diss. he wants to be a jock but he's being considered a nerd by all of his friends just for knowing what is to him basic fact. which obscures the truth that cassie is the real nerd of the group. sad! i disagree with the people who think he's genuinely weird compared to other andalites and not just on earth btw. just a side note. i really like his character development and internal struggles over geopolitics while being Extremely Fifteen. he is fifteen and they are making him undergo the horrors. i would like to see more scenes like where he's invited to dinner at cassie's or where he remembers the dinner at cassie's as smth very fond/important to him but at the same time i can get behind him having a like...undersiders-type relationship to the other animorphs where the connection is simultaneously very superficial and very deep because he wouldn't be in proximity to them if not for Being In A War Together and they don't really have any intimate interactions with him but they still have the intrinsic closeness of constantly fighting for each others lives. i like how he's objectively rachel's least favorite & least trusted and they would still bite claw maim for each other!

marco is becoming increasingly complicated 4 sure. kind of enamored with his character trait where he's completely fine with going "ATTENTION EVERYONE: i am so terrified and scared and afraid that i am shivering and crying hysterically and peeing myself and i've almost fainted as well" but he simultaneously considers the idea of anyone finding out about deeper emotional vulnerabilities of his and pitying him to be intolerable. which kind of clashes in an interesting way w/ how the other animorphs are all pathologically obsessed with the notion that it's fine for anyone Else to be afraid, but They can't be afraid or they're a coward and should be ashamed of themselves. i forgot the specific context but shoutout to when marco fully genuinely says that something is very scary/he's very scared and he wouldn't blame anyone who decided to go home and then cassie projects her own insecurities onto the statement and makes a kind of snippy remark about how she's not going to back down despite the fact that it was in no way targeted at anyone. i like how it's sort of his job to be The Sensible One (although this has shifted over the course of the series now it's more his job to be The Funny One i.e. the emotional medic) but his brain just completely shits out when he's scared and he frequently has to be reminded of common sense things during fights. i like how this does not stop him from being extremely impulsively angry and violent and poorly restrained around things that hit home for him. i like how when jake tries to go "are you ok? asking because you have not made a singular jest and thats worrying to people" marco takes it as "alright fucking fine i'll do better at doing my job and making jokes" instead of emotionally engaging. it's gonna be interesting to see where he goes he's one of the more complicated ones to see the perspective of

[chachued]

━━ SPANISH TUTOR | 1610!MILES MORALES

Miles stood in his doorway, confused yet curious as to why you, of all people, had been sitting in his room with his Spanish textbook.

↳ 1610!miles morales x fem!reader

W/C:

CONTENTS: enemies to lovers (or more accurately, academic rivals to lovers), a lot of banter, fluff, half proofread!!

A/N: if anyone has any idea how to make an aesthetically pleasing layout for tumblr posts, please PLEASE dm me!!! made the last few parts in the middle of econ class, so im sorry if it's not the best!!

“You?” Miles dropped his bag on the floor.

“Yeah,” you smiled with a cheap, putrid grin spewing across your face. “Me.”

Miles groaned as his head fell back. “I don’t need this right now, I need to—“

Before he could say anything he’d deeply regret, he stopped himself and just stared at you. His tongue was in a twist, having absolutely no words to say.

You — The one he hates, the one whom él pensaba que era hermosa, and the one who had been sitting on the floor of his room.

he thought was beautiful.

He took a deep breath and forced a smile. “Okay, why are you here?”

“Because you’ve been missing your sessions, and thankfully, Ganke let me in just before he left.”

Miles’ face was in complete confusion. His nose was wrinkled, his mouth agape, and his eyebrows were furrowed. It was the whole package for goodness sake.

“Okay— Okay! Let’s just…” He took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. His exhale was ragged, and it was almost like you could tell he was enraged. “Why are you here?”

“I just said so.”

“Nah, you didn’t.”

“You were missing sessions.”

“I don’t even know what you’re on about,” he yelled, covering his face with his palms.

Honestly, Miles wanted to jump out his window right about now. He could not take any second of your insufferable voice. His hands dragged down from his eyes to his chin — clearly distraught.

His reaction put an off-putting smile on your face. He could not do this anymore.

“Nah, you know what?” Miles took a step back. “I ain’t doing this.”

“Your parents hired me.”

Time slowed down, his eyes were wide, and he lacked the previous bravery to speak. He swiftly admitted defeat, grabbing his bag and walking to you slowly.

Miles was never one to give up so quickly. However, he doesn't have a choice when his family is involved.

You were enjoying this.

You offered a pen, which Miles took lazily.

And there it is — that giggle.

He held his breath as he took in the sound of your laughter. "You sound stupid."

"Says the Latino who is getting tutored in Spanish."

Miles huffed, "I'm only half."

This time, you stifled the giggle. Even though you adore this, you couldn't bear to spend another minute with Miles Morales.

He could tell. Of course, he can.

“Okay, so, what are you having trouble with?” you asked, attempting to not laugh at him.

“You’re not even trying to be professional!”

“I am—“ You took a deep breath, but at last, a snort still sneaked its way out. “—trying.”

Miles furrowed his eyebrows, regretting not kicking you out as soon as he saw you. “No estás intentando, cariña.”

you are not trying, darling.

You ignored his comment, continuing to flip through the pages of his textbook. “Let’s start here.”

Miles bit the cap of his pen while he doodled above the premade questions. “So how come you don’t have any friends?”

You looked up from your phone. “I have a lot.”

Now, it was his turn to laugh.

"What? Is it that hard to believe?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh, come on, I have William, Stacy..."

The cap bites completely stopped. "They barely talk to you — Those are acquaintances."

You shrugged your shoulders, continuing to look down and scroll on your phone. It gave Miles an unusual worry.

The silence was deafening.

"I guess I don't have any friends friends."

That uneasiness worked its way up to Miles' head, coming down to his lips. "Well," he said.

You hummed in response.

"You know I'm your friend, right?"

Almost like a primal instinct, you jolted back. Not sure whether to be thankful, decline, agree, or laugh. There's so many ways to reply, but none of them were right — Some rude, for that matter.

Miles coughed to interrupt your train of thought, probing an answer out of you with just his curious look.

"I didn't know you were my friend."

"Ah, dale, querida! You are since primer uno," he reassured with that big goofy grin.

come on, dear. you are since day one,

"You made an imaginary competition to be better than me."

"Aka since day one, you have made me a better person."

You offered a meek smile, giggling a bit at his attempt to make you feel better. The bright side is it didn't make you feel worse. That's the minimum, according to Miles.

"Friends go to each other's houses, so isn't this what we're doing?"

"I broke in."

"And I forgive you."

Now both of you had lopsided grins. It was embarrassing, but not with him. It could never be embarrassing.

Mostly because you're tutoring a Hispanic Spanish.

Miles teased, "Mi tutora de español."

thank you for reading through it all <3

please take my a/n seriously because i genuinely need it.

[our-death-means-flag]

izzy hands x reader with enemies to lovers. that’s it. that’s the ask. im so in love w that angy little man

Bonding Under Duress

Ship: Izzy Hands x Reader  Summary: Stede really wants the crew to get along or at the very least tolerate each other. Unfortunately that includes you and Izzy. So the two of you get sent on an errand for the captains with the actual goal of the two of you getting to know each other. A storm has other plans and you and Izzy learn much more than you wanted to about each other… Warnings: minor descriptions of injury, Izzy being very mean to himself, angst, hurt/comfort

“Absolutely fockin’ not!”

“As much as I hate to agree with that asshole, no.”

For once you and Izzy agreed on something, both of you glaring at each other when you realized.

Stede wilted. You immediately felt the urge to comfort him. “Captain, I’m not trying to question your judgment here, but really, no. There’s no need for this.” You reassured.

Izzy scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Fockin’ ridiculous…” He grumbled under his breath. “I don’t take orders from you, you posh twat.” He snapped at Stede.

You immediately shot him a deathly glare. “God, you're predictable. Get some new material or just shut the fuck up.” 

“Hey now, both of you. I’m not asking.” Stede puffed his chest out a tad. “It’s an order from your captain. I’m not expecting you two to become best friends or anything. All you need to do is go on that island and bring back some peaches! Shouldn't take more than a couple of hours and who knows, you may learn something about each other.” Stede seemed very optimistic. 

You sighed, already nodding, well aware of how far Stede was willing to go for an idea like this.

Izzy seemed to be about to protest when Ed leaned in. “An order from both of your captains actually!” He chimed in.

“Edward…” Izzy all but whined.

“Izzy.” Edward echoed, even mockingly copying Izzy’s whiny tone.

You watched as Izzy’s face flushed every shade of red, though whether it was rage or embarrassment or maybe both, you couldn’t tell. You bit your lip to keep yourself from laughing.  Izzy must have noticed since that seemed to set him off. “Oh fuck off. I’m not going to some stupid fockin’  island to get some stupid fockin’ peaches with this stupid fockin’-

“Bye! See you in a few hours! Have fun, you two!” Ed yelled cheerfully as he was towed away.  

You waved while watching Izzy in your peripheral vision. The bastard looked furious. So much so that he was practically vibrating with rage. Then again he had been thrown over Ed’s shoulder like a bag of potatoes and all but dragged here. 

“So…” You finally asked, drawing the word out, on guard in case he decided to bite you. “Let’s go find some stupid fockin’ peaches, eh?” You couldn’t manage to mimic Izzy’s voice but if you said so yourself, your ‘fock’ was pretty accurate.

Izzy snarled. “Piss off. We’re not working together. I’m going one way and you go the other.” He turned on his heels and stormed closer to the edge of the forested part of the island. You merely waited. He paused, deep in thought, glanced one way, then the other and then seemingly realized what you already knew.

You, of course, decided to rub it in. “I sure won’t stop you if that’s what you want. But I’d recommend against it. Not only is it against captains’ orders but when was the last time you did any navigating on land?” Izzy seethed and you grinned. “Also I have all the stuff, since rather than acting like a feral dog, I actually packed so… again, all your call of course.”

Izzy very obviously considered running off on his own if just to spite you but instead he turned quickly and stormed up to you. “Fine. You’re right.” He said it like the words burned his throat. “But I swear if you get us lost-“

“Yes, yes, I know, you’ll maim me and/or kill me in some creatively brutal and violent fashion.” You waved a hand dismissively. Deciding to go further you added. “Which you and I both know you won’t do since that’d piss off the captains.” You knew you shouldn’t keep teasing but you enjoyed watching Izzy turn red.

With a seething Izzy following you, you started trekking into the forest. Luckily you’d come prepared and had brought along your wide knife to cut through the foliage. The terrain of the island wasn’t quite the same as the ones you’d been on before but it was close enough.

The two of you walked mostly in silence with you occasionally warning about upcoming hazards in your path. You easily navigated the uneven terrain but Izzy had significantly more difficulty. Probably because he was used to a ship. As much as a ship swaying could mess up your balance, it was not comparable to uneven weird terrain like this. 

The first few times you’d chimed in with a “careful” or “watch your step” Izzy had snarled back at you to “Fuck off”. But after nearly falling on his ass a few times, he started to take your warnings more seriously.

(Honestly you deserved sainthood for not laughing until your lungs failed every time he almost fell. Especially since he’d always flail and pinwheel his arms to keep steady.  Something made even funnier by the fact that he was unharmed beside his ego.)

Luckily for both Izzy and your composure, you managed to track down the peach tree quickly enough. As you clambered up the tree and gathered up the requested fruit, Izzy stood around looking woefully out of place. 

You really were trying to work on Stede’s ridiculous bonding plan but you couldn’t resist and pelted Izzy with a peach. You nailed him dead center in the chest. He jumped clearly not having expected the sudden fruit attack but somehow his reaction time was quick enough to catch the peach as it bounced off his chest. He shot you a glare which you returned with a smile. Izzy tossed the peach in his hand, clearly silently considering throwing it back at you. However you simply motioned with the extra bag you’d brought which was currently full of peaches, making it readily apparent that you would in fact, return fire and that you had much more ammo. He backed off.

You climbed down from the tree and just as you were sorting yourself out…

BONK.

A peach contacted the side of your head. You spun to face Izzy and he had the gall to look confused and  innocent despite the fact that he clearly no longer had a peach in hand. You couldn’t help but smirk as you ducked down to pick up the peach and as you were standing up (but before you fully did) you threw it at him.

It just kept going that way as the two of you walked back. The peach being tossed back and forth with varied strength. Whether or not it was possible to break someone’s nose with a peach, Izzy sure as hell was trying to. Hell he’d nearly succeeded throwing the peach so hard you nearly hit yourself in the face with your own hand just from catching it. You on the other hand, had a simpler goal, you wanted to land it on his head. Izzy seemed to assume that you were aiming for his face so his defenses were focused there instead. You were certain you could land it before the two of you made it to the beach but you didn’t get the chance.

You noticed first. Izzy seemed really uncomfortable on land so that’s probably why he missed it. However you’d thought the air felt off all day. But it was only when the first thunder crack pierced the mostly quiet area that you realized that the off-ness you were feeling was the same way you’d feel before a storm.

Izzy had been mid throw when it happened. The peach hit you in the leg and was instantly forgotten as his attention immediately darted towards where you knew the shore was, doubtlessly worrying about Ed. “We have to get to the Revenge.” 

Izzy looked genuinely concerned so you didn’t give a snarky answer. “We can’t. There’s no way they can get a dingy out in what’s about to be a storm.” Your words were immediately emphasized when rain started pouring down. “We can’t make it back now. Let’s find somewhere to hunker down and get back when the storm passes.” Izzy still looked moments away from booking it back to the ship. “Ed, Fang, and Ivan are all on that ship. You don’t have to trust anyone else, just trust that they can handle it. Don’t risk making them worry about us on top of managing the ship.” 

Izzy cursed under his breath as he visibly struggled with the choice but luckily your logic won him over and you didn’t have to drag him. “Fine.” He hissed the word out harsher than any curse word. 

The storm hadn’t been gracious enough to give the two of you any time to talk and the wind and rain was already getting stronger. Despite just having had to talk Izzy out of this exact thing, you couldn’t help but worry about the Revenge. The island was pretty much all tall mountains, you doubted that your crew had gotten much warning. But you had to accept your own logic. They’d handle it. You could trust Ed and Stede to keep the ship safe (admittedly mostly the former).

The wind and rain made traversing the nasty terrain even more difficult than it had been before. The wind knocked you off balance and the rain made the ground slippery. The warm day you’d been having moments ago had vanished, the rain coupled with the wind made you nearly shiver. Despite the cold, you couldn’t run for cover. You had to painstakingly walk carefully to avoid falling.

After you got dangerously close to losing your balance at the edge of a small valley, you decided to reach out a hand to Izzy since you could tell he was struggling. His frantic stumbling was significantly less funny when he was actually in danger. Of course, Izzy didn’t appreciate your offer. You took it as a testament of how much you’d seen Izzy swear that even over the deafening roaring wind, you could tell he was telling you to “Fuck off”.

You could feel the mud under your boots shifting and you were incredibly worried about it giving out in a mudslide so you tried your damndest to move as quickly as possible. You nearly fell when your boot slipped out from under you. If the wind wasn’t so goddamn loud, Izzy might have actually heard your warning. But the sound of your voice was easily overpowered by the wind.  

Then the ground gave out from under both of you. You just barely had the time to launch yourself backwards, slamming none too gently into a tree for your troubles. Izzy wasn’t so lucky. You were immediately back on your feet and spotted him lying at the bottom of the small valley.

“Izzy?” You called out as loudly as you could. No reply. He didn’t so much as stir. Even if he hadn’t heard you, you doubted Izzy would just lay on the ground. “Shit.” You mumbled under your breath and quickly as you could, you made your way down, none too gracefully. You were at his side shockingly fast. Izzy was a little banged up but he was breathing thankfully, though it looked like he’d hit his head. He was out cold. “Well, shit.” You mumbled to yourself.

You ducked down and were able to carefully maneuver Izzy into your arms. For such a small man, he was shockingly heavy. But the universe did give you a bit of mercy when you spotted a small cave, looking to be most protected from the storm. You managed to drag the two of you inside. You put both Izzy and the bag of peaches down and dropped down to the ground, exhausted. Even though you were out of the wind in the rain, you were still soaked and you were still freezing. You forced  yourself to get back up. 

Luckily, the wind blew quite a few sticks further into the cave so you weren’t stuck trying to build a fire with wet tinder. Cold and uncomfortable as you were, it was incredibly difficult to be patient enough to slowly grow the fire but your dedication paid off. Before long You were basking in the warmth of a newly made fine.

You pulled off your overcoat which, while completely soaked, had protected most of your clothes. Izzy had given you shit about it, how a long coat wasn’t practical in the Caribbean (ironic, coming from a man in leather pants and a leather vest). 

Despite what you wanted to do you knew you couldn’t just sit by the fire. You had  to take care of Izzy as well. You dragged yourself up and knelt down by Izzy. He had a small cut on the back of his head but luckily it didn’t seem to be that bad. You didn’t hesitate to tear off one of your sleeves to wrap it up. You pulled Izzy as close to the fire as you dared but he was still shivering a little. You managed to pull him up so you could start the daunting task of getting him out of his vest and shirt. His vest was pretty easy but his shirt was completely soaked and probably responsible for sapping a lot of his body heat. 

As you untied his cravat you noticed the ring around it. You’d spotted the ring before (gotten a pretty close look when Izzy decided he needed to get into your face to yell at you). He always wore it. It was clearly important to him so you didn’t want to just set it aside and risk it getting lost, so instead you slipped it into one of your pockets. At least it would be safe there until Izzy was conscious enough to not lose it.

You had to rest his head on your shoulder so you could wrestle his dead weight out of his shirt. ‘Please don’t wake up right now. Please don’t wake up right now, ‘ you silently begged the universe, because, while you usually followed Stede’s ‘talk it through’ method, that was a conversation that you didn’t want to have. Luckily for once in this dumpster fire of a day, you at least got that and Izzy stayed unconscious. 

You definitely did not glance at his chest, taking in the mix of scars and tattoos that you’d never seen before. And it definitely didn’t look incredibly attractive on him. Not at all.Your jacket was dry at that point so you laid it over Izzy as a makeshift blanket. You considered taking his sword since you didn’t want to get stabbed on instinct when he woke up, but you also figured he’d probably feel better if he had it with him. 

You crumpled against the opposite wall of the cave and basked in the warmth of the fire. Since you were the only one who was conscious, you had watch duty by default. You glanced at Izzy. Hopefully he’d wake up soon. You doubted you could carry him back to the dingy and leaving him behind so you could get someone to help you made you incredibly nervous. 

It was strange to see him so calm. With his face so relaxed and your sleeve wrapped around his head, he looked like a completely different person. You let yourself stare at him for a moment before focusing on something else. Luckily your bag full of peaches was within arm’s reach. Quite a few of them had been crushed or otherwise mangled by the rough journey but you managed to find one that was mostly intact.

At least you had snacks…

---

It wasn’t easy to gauge the passage of time in a cave but you’d have to guess it had been around an hour. You’d had to go grab more twigs and tinder for the fire and the rain seemed to be slowing. That was something at least. Looked like the storm was going to stop soon. Then you’d have to figure out how to get Izzy and yourself back to the Revenge. 

Before you could worry about that a low raspy groan caught your attention. Izzy was waking up… He immediately grabbed at his head, hand going for the injury at the back of his head. 

“Careful!” You said, more on instinct than anything else.

His eyes immediately darted to you and after a brief moment where he seemed to take in his surroundings, he immediately drew his sword and pointed it at you and skittered away as best he could until his back hit the wall. His whole body seemed shaky and uncertain, the hand holding the sword was trembling.

You held your hands up in slight surrender, not wanting to freak him out any more than you already had. “Well, good morning to you too…” you managed, voice shaking slightly with an awkward chuckle. He stared longer. Not knowing what to do, you cracked a joke to ease the tension. “I know, the one sleeve thing looks great on Ed but it sure looks stupid on me eh?” You motioned with your bare arm for emphasis.

“What the fuck…?” He managed to hiss out, he looked genuinely confused.

You furrowed your brow. “Do you remember what happened?” You weren’t a doctor by any means but memory loss could happen with head injuries.

“I…” Izzy managed. He lowered his sword and clutched at his head. “I fell?” He mused, more to himself before a look of clarity passed over him and he hissed out “stupid fockin Stede Bonnet. Stupid fockin peaches.” 

You breathed a sigh of relief, if he was pissed off, then that was back to the status quo for Izzy. “So you definitely remember then. How’s your head?”

“How the hell do you think it is? It fuckin’ hurts.” He snapped at you. He glanced around getting a proper look at your surroundings. “What the fuck happened?”

Glad that he seemed more calm and had stopped pointing a sword at you, you explain what happened: how he’d  fell, how you’d dragged him here. When you reached the part where you’d taken his shirt off, he’d immediately looked down and seemingly realized that he was in fact, not wearing a shirt. He pulled your jacket up to cover himself more, looking almost comically like a blushing lady. 

“Why the fuck?” He immediately snarled at you.

You rolled your eyes. “Because it was soaking wet and you were shivering? You would’ve frozen your damn tits off if I hadn’t.”

He looked like he was moments away from snapping at you when he stopped himself and his hand immediately shot to his throat. Before he could say anything you jumped in, well aware of what he was about to ask. “I have it, don’t worry.” You patted the ring in your pocket. Izzy stared at you almost nervously. You probably would’ve teased him at any other time but you could tell he was genuinely concerned, so you didn’t. 

You stood slowly and walked around the fire, choreographing your movements as not to take him by surprise. “Here,” you said as you gently placed the ring in his hand. He clutched it tightly to his chest, one hand clutching his ring and the other toying with the fabric of your coat. You sat back down and leaned against the wall of the cave.

You expected Izzy to break the silence with an insult or a sarcastic comment, instead you got a soft, shaky, “Why?”

“You wear that ring all the time. It’s clearly important to you and I didn’t want it to roll away or get lost or  something. I-“

“Not the ring.” Izzy interrupted. You raised a brow. “This.” He motioned at himself and the cave around the two of you. “All of this.”

You didn’t expect to somehow get more confused after his explanation. “What do you mean by ‘this’? I mean, sure a cave ain’t all that cozy but it got us out of the storm…. Besides-“

“No!” Izzy snapped, clearly furious. You immediately shut up, not sure what to do. He luckily didn’t raise his sword at you but he leveled a finger pointing at you accusingly. “Why did you do any of this?”

You furrowed your brows, trying to figure out what he meant. “Uh, you know that if I’d left you back there, you could’ve died?”  

He nodded as you thought he might get it then he spoke again. “You hate me.” He said it so matter-of-factly, as if it were just a given, a fact of the world.

You blinked. The pieces clicked together. “I don’t hate you.” You explained softly. Izzy scoffed, disbelief clear on his face. “No, I’m being honest. I don’t hate you. Granted  you can be a fucking asshole. But, I only give you shit because you give my crew shit. I don’t hate you. And even if I did I sure as hell wouldn’t have left you for dead.”

Had he really expected you to just leave him there? 

“Wait…” Though, that did raise a concerning question… “Are you telling me that you would have left me?”

Izzy rolled his eyes. “Of course not. You’re one of few people on that ship that knows what they’re doing. Besides, even if I wanted to, the crew wouldn’t believe me.  Even if it was an accident, they’d all assume I killed you. But they actually like you. Even the captains. You could come back drenched in my blood and they’d still believe whatever you said.” Izzy chuckled humorlessly.

You stared, too stunned to speak. Suddenly, you felt awful about teasing him before. No wonder he was so incredibly hostile if he thought you could murder him and get away with it, that you hated him enough to do it. You buried your face in your hands. “Damn it, I’m so sorry.”

“Why?” You glanced up to see Izzy was staring at you, confusion clear on his face. 

You hesitated, trying to figure out how best to phrase it so it wouldn’t sound patronizing. “I’m so sorry for anything I did that made you feel like you weren’t safe with me. I doubt my words mean much but, I really wasn’t going to do anything more than tease… or hit you with a peach… Sorry about that too.”

His expression only got more confused. You watched as he went from confused to a little scared then immediately to annoyed. “Don’t pretend to care!” He snapped. “If you're planning on lowering my guard for some later attack, it wont work.”

 The ‘it won’t work this time’ was implied. Sure, you hadn’t been a pirate all that long, but you certainly knew how awful people could be. You couldn’t help but wonder about Izzy’s scars. Had he gotten any of them from crew members who hated him? Just waiting for a moment of vulnerability to pounce. 

Izzy Hands was making far too much sense for you all of a sudden. 

“That’s happened before?”

Izzy all but growled at you for that then he actually looked at you. He seemed surprised by whatever he saw. “Of course.” He replied, again his voice matter-of-fact as if that was somehow supposed to make sense. 

 But you were undeterred. “That may be how some people are… But you’ve made it pretty clear how soft and pathetic the Revenge Crew is.” He didn’t seem convinced. “If I really wanted to do something like that, we literally would not be having this conversation right now!” You emphasized. 

“Unless you want something from me.” Izzy snapped immediately.

“Well, I don’t. Not really. You don’t really have to believe me. But I’m not going to hold this over your head. Really, I would've done the exact same thing if anyone else got hurt.” 

Izzy stared at you, eyebrow raised. After a long moment, he huffed and broke eye contact. “I can’t understand you…”

You sighed. It seems like the two of you got completely opposite things from this. You could finally understand at least in part why Izzy was like that, while he was completely baffled by you. You were saved from the uncomfortable silence by noticing that the rain had finally subsided. “Ah, the rain’s gone. Finally, we can get back to the ship.”

---

Izzy watched, pensive, as you stood and stretched, grabbing the bag filled with those stupid fockin peaches, carefully putting out the fire and generally cleaning up. He couldn’t help but notice your bare arm, the one whose sleeve was currently wrapped around his head. 

“Oh, here!” You tossed him his vest, shirt and cravat. They were all in good condition. You’d clearly taken care to take them off without damaging them. Eager to put all this strangeness behind him, Izzy wrestled his shirt and vest on, keeping an eye on you as he did.

None of this made any sense. 

You hated  him. He knew that. You’d made it clear from the moment you’d met. You were Bonnet’s first mate, loyal to your captain and protective over your crew. You’d made it no secret that you didn’t like how he did things. 

Izzy had been hated before. Of course he had. He had a position that people wanted and he was well aware that he wasn’t all that likable. At least before people had a reason to fear him as well. You didn’t. You had an entire crew behind you and with Edward so wrapped up in Bonnet, Izzy didn’t have anyone to protect him. 

Well, except… You, apparently.  You, who’d had every opportunity to get rid of him on this stupid trip even before the storm came in.

 And yet, here he was. Unharmed. Not only had you not tried anything besides the same teasing as usual, but you’d actually saved him. That alone was completely ridiculous. But you’d done more than that. You’d gone out of your way to take care of him. (His ring felt like it was burning in his hand as he put it back in place.) Even if you weren’t going to kill him solely out of respect for your captains, you wouldn’t have needed to do any more than drag him here. Yet, you’d not only torn your shirt to patch him up, you’d given him your jacket and even taken the time to make sure he didn’t lose his ring, just because you knew it was important to him.

He tried to stand but he was quickly overcome with dizziness and nausea so he stumbled. He braced himself to hit the ground but… Instead he found himself leaning against your chest, your arms wrapped around him.

“Shit! Izzy you okay? Ah, fuck dumb question, sorry. Are you feeling dizzy?” Your voice was still so fucking concerned. No mockery. You gently pulled away, seemingly unphased by the fact that he wasn’t responding to you, still supporting him so he didn’t fall. “You… uh… can hang on to my jacket if you like?” Your words made him realize that he was still desperately clutching your jacket.

He hissed out a “Fuck off” on reflex but… Fuck it. He slipped your jacket on. It didn’t really fit all that well but it was warm. 

You smiled. “How about this…” You let him wrap an arm around your shoulder. “I don’t think you should be walking on your own but I sure as hell can’t carry you anymore. For such a tiny man, you’re rather heavy…”

Izzy scoffed. “Not my fucking fault you’re a giant.” He grumbled. There was less bite in his tone than usual but it was absolutely still there.

You smiled at the insult. “I’ll take that as you feeling a bit better. You’re already being a snarky asshole.”

It had been a pain in the ass to clamber back up the hill he’d slipped down. Honestly, Izzy was surprised you managed to clamber down in the middle of the storm and not fall as well. 

The walk back was generally quiet only broken by your occasional comment of “careful” or “watch your step” which, Izzy was realizing, you’d done before. He’d assumed that you were being condescending. But now, considering everything else you’d done you must have been genuinely warning him. The more he thought about it the more he realized how you’d never really been that bad. You teased and occasionally the two of you would get into genuine arguments, but you never did anything particularly malicious. And you clearly cared about your crew. You’d check in on everyone (himself included he realized suddenly) after a raid, make sure everyone ate, and, while you were far too lax about it in Izzy’s opinion, you did make sure chores got done.

Hell, considering how much of non-captain Stede fockin’ Bonnet was, Izzy had little doubt in his mind that you’d been mostly running the ship.

You were still soft. Too soft. But, clearly, it was working to some extent.

You were actually making far too much sense for him all of a sudden. 

Dammit.

Luckily, it didn’t take long for the two of you to find the beach. The Revenge was visible in the water and even from this distance, Izzy could tell that it was undamaged. A dinghy was also already enroute and its passengers all immediately waved at the two of you once they spotted you. 

Edward, impatient as ever, decided he wasn’t going to wait and jumped off the dinghy and waded the last few feet of water before sprinting over to you. “Izzy! Y/N! You two okay? Nasty one that was, huh?” (Any other time, Izzy would have probably chastised him for jumping into the water like that (especially after a storm) but right now, he was just glad to see his captain was safe. )

“Izzy hit his head. Pretty sure it's not that bad but he might have a concussion.” You reported quickly. “Is everyone else all right?”

“Everyone’s fine!” Ed replied.

“The ship?” Izzy asked.

“Fine as well, Iz. No worries.” Edward assured. A pause. “Well… Aside from a few of Stede’s books.” 

Izzy rolled his eyes. Of course.

The dinghy ride back was irritating. Roach seemed determined to check Izzy for a concussion right then and there. Though, it seemed that he agreed with you. Izzy would be fine. He’d definitely feel it tomorrow but he’d live.

The moment the two of you set foot on the Revenge, Stede was there. “Oh thank goodness! We were incredibly worried! I’m very sorry about all this! The storm really surprised us.” 

Luckily, Izzy’s head had calmed enough that he could pull away from you and lean against the railing instead. He quickly glanced around, the deck was messier than usual but didn’t look all that bad. His attention couldn’t help but drift back to you…

You were giving a quick report of everything (far more professional than Stede Bonnet deserved) before presenting him with the bag full of peaches. Bonnet was quick to announce that everyone was getting some kind of peach dessert that Izzy had never heard of as a reward for making it through a storm. Izzy scoffed. The reward for making it through a storm was being alive.

As Bonnet ran to the chef so he could explain this weird dish, you walked back to Izzy, leaning against the railing next to him. “I can handle everything up here. You should probably lie down.” You explained softly.

“Don’t need to lie down.” Izzy grumbled back.

You rolled your eyes. “What’s the point of having two first mates on a ship if you can’t take a break? I’ll get Captain Ed to drag you if I must.”

“Fine.” Izzy spat. A long pause. Izzy glanced around. Everyone seemed not to be focused on the two of you. “Thank you.” He said quickly.

You smiled. “Yeah, of course. Don’t worry about it.”

“...I’m still going to be a dick.” He confessed.

That actually made you laugh and Izzy couldn’t help but think that he liked that sound. “Duh. I’m not expecting anything to change. And I’m still going to give you shit.”

Izzy chuckled himself and nodded. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

You pushed off of the railing and waved goodbye. “Well, I’m off to ask Stede if I can borrow one of his shirts for a bit. See you around!”

“Good luck.” Izzy replied, both of you well aware that you were going to be dragged into Stede’s wardrobe and not return for hours. You chuckled. 

Just as expected, the moment you asked, Stede’s face lit up and you were immediately dragged off into his pastel colored hell.

Before Izzy could even take a breather, Ed was all but leaning on his shoulder. “Hi. You’re going to lie down.” His voice held the same force as an order. Izzy sighed, well aware that resistance was futile.

As Izzy was all but dragged back to his cabin, with a promise that someone would go check on him later, Ed decided to talk. “So,” His captain began with a grin that heralded problems. “Nice jacket.” Izzy’s eyes widened as he realized he was still wearing your jacket. “Guess you guys really got to know each other huh?”

“Piss off.” Izzy grumbled but made no move to take your jacket off. “My clothes were wet.”

“Ooh! So they saw you naked too?” Ed teased and Izzy all but short circuited.

“I- Ah… My shirt and vest were wet.” Izzy clarified, somewhat shakily.

Ed merely hummed. Izzy knew him well enough to know he wasn’t done. “So… when's the wedding?”

“Edward.”

A/N: Izzy’s one of my favorite characters so I have to be mean to him. Also, I've gotten a few requests for enemies to lovers with Izzy, so, there will be more coming soon. (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

[rosekasa]

🦉🌷🔮 for the fanfic writers game!

HANAA, JAANEMAN!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!

🦉Is there another author that helped inspire you to write?

omg so many come to mind and im actually afraid that im going to miss people out because i feel like the only reason i write is because of the people i admire. between 2021-2023 i really struggled with writing for a bit, i dont know why, someone gave me nazar probably, but there are some writers who i would read COPIOUS amounts of and think, this, THIS love i feel while reading is the love i want to feel about my own work

@jattendschaton , obviously, has been one of my biggest inspirations since i was a BABY. their writing is so descriptive and evocative. so insanely detailed. studying their writing was what got me into the habit of trying to find different ways to express a sentence to see if i could get a more accurate representation of the feeling i wanted to convey

@frostedpuffs and @lnc2 were the first ml writers i ever read <3 i didnt even know i wanted to write fic at the time! honestly a lot of my earlier characterisations/ways of writing are heavily inspired by their works because i was so obsessed with them! they made me want to start posting on ml ao3 in the first place

@xiueryn , i downloaded a bunch of yilena's fics onto my kindle in late 2022 and fucking DEVOURED them. i hadn't really been reading longer ml fics at all at the time but yilena's... i could not stop. their worldbuilding, their pacing, the way they make writing 40k+ word fics seem almost effortless? it became a joke with my irl best friend because i would literally randomly say "oh yilena you legend" while readingsdjkfhsd

@miabrown007, i read seven is a lucky number and it RUINED me for life. i dont know why this is what keeps coming to mind, but in her a/ns she mentioned that she HAD to end the word count on a multiple of seven, and i was like, oh my god, she puts so much structural thought into her stories. meeting her irl and hearing her talk about her writing process in detail was an out of body experience. that day itself i wanted to finish a multichapter

@asukiess, if loving ao3 user asukiess was a cult i would run it. i read tbsym and it really slapped me in the face because, having encountered it at a time where i felt like i ran out of any and all ability to be unique and creative with ml, i was like, oh my god, this person just wrote 10k+ words about. kuro neko?? a twenty minute episode? and she got SO MUCH out of it? and it hit me that like. if you love something enough you WILL find a way to create more out of it.

🌷What's one of your fics that isn't as popular, but you hold dear?

i have all my stats turned off on ao3 so i havent actually had that feeling of "aw i love this fic i wrote but it didnt really get popular" in like. three years sdjfhdsjkfds but checking my stats now, hmm. maybe ya'aburnee? which is funny because although it has fewer kudos than my other fics it's also the fic that people who i meet in the fandom yell at me for the most. at the mcm ml meetup a friend who came was like "HOW ARE U COMPLAINING ABOUT MCD YOU LITERALLY WROTE IT" and i so vehemently was like NO I LITERALLY DIDNT WHEN and they were like??? are u fucking stupid. it was great

🔮What's your favorite plot twist you've ever written?

the plot twist to ya'aburnee was a banger in the outlines but i feel like i didnt execute it that well in the actual fic. but lpoam i think was my FAVOURITE favourite. i even cried while writing the death scenesfdjshd

[dameronalone]

The post you just reblogged about infantilizing autistic characters and specifically Steven Grant is actually one of my favorite things ever and I wished people talked about it more. I remember watching MK when it first came out and seeing Steven and being like omg he’s just like me!! because a lot of the times I don’t really connect with autistic characters for one reason or another but seeing Steven and seeing him have the same mannerisms and characteristics as me was so so wonderful and the fandom was great at first and it seems like the more time passes and the farther we get from when the show stopped having new episodes, he gets characterized so differently than how he was in the show. Like yeah he was awkward and unsure around Layla but also look at the circumstances!! Everyone’s turned him into an uwu baby child and forget that he got angry and he was smart and he was brave and he was an adult man and not a child regardless of him being autistic. Idk, I just really liked that post and I was so glad to see someone on the same page as me and I wanted to share my thoughts lmao

dearest anon you are more than welcome to come in my inbox and talk abt Steven, autism, and how irritating fandom ableism is, because I'm always ready to talk about any of it. I'm glad that you felt seen by my frustration! a lot of times I'll mention it or even post about it and it's like yelling into the void

I think the wonderful thing about Steven is that he feels so authentically autistic, him and Marc both (and im assuming Jake as well, but it's just too soon to tell in which ways he will experience/be visibly autistic) and I think that's both the uprising and the downfall of it because in not using the word "autistic" in the show it paves the way both for genuine connection AND the surface level ableist "aw steven" mentality we see a lot now

i was watching the first two episodes the other day, mostly because I'm rewatching for Steven- an aside, but fandom had honestly put me off Steven. ofc I loved him so much but I couldn't truly connect because the (imho) accurate Steven that I liked to think about and analyze is NOT the Steven we see in 98% of fanfiction or tumblr posts. but anyway I was watching the first two episodes and I gotta say, for as much nervous stuttering as he does in fanfiction, he really- listen I think he does a reasonable amount of nervous stuttering when he is IN truly stressful situations that have him completely off kilter.

you can't really script your way out of a conversation with a creepy guy trying to tell you abt his lord and savior ammit the croc

anyway. all this to say, I completely understand where you're coming from and I'm really glad you felt seen in my own frustration. it's always validating to see someone else verbalizing a deep rooted but glossed over issue that bothers you

just!! reiterating your point!! he's knowledgeable!!! he's angry!!! he's incredibly brave!!!! he's not afraid to stand up to Marc or khonshu or harrow or anybody!!!! he's an adult man with a job and a place to live!!! that doesn't make him any better or worse than someone who may not have a job BUT people just love to turn autistic ppl into helpless little uwu babies and its SO obnoxious and irritating and insulting. he IS capable!! Steven is SASSY he is a BITCH he fantasizes about killing his boss!!!!! he bargined the world for marc (and his) freedom!!!! hello?????

steven would not like the majority of the people who claim to like him..

at any rate lmao. my inbox is always open!! happy to talk 🫶

[iho6hi2]

Infrunami.

Type: Oneshot

Pairing: Matsuno Karamatsu/F! Reader

Summary: Getting kisses from a hot lady? Karamatsu would love that. Almost getting ran over by a hot lady? Not exactly on his bucket list, but Karamatsu checks it regardless.

Warnings: Near Death Experiences, Fluff, Attempt at Humor, Light Angst, Drinking, Getting to Know Each Other, Feel-Good, Ridiculous

Word Count: 8,032

A/N: MY HOMESLICE 🧀🧀 Karamatsu deserves someone he can be a flop with T__T BTW Im so insecure about this so pls either give me a 10 page essay on why this sucked or one 'this was cool Lol' otherwise ill kms

Karamatsu ambles near the bridge, his usual hotspot for courting women in this cruel game life likes to call love; or more accurately the place where he stands still like a traffic sign with hopes of someone giving him the time of day for once (huge spoiler alert: nobody does, as expected).

He chuckles, feigning smug amusement as he runs a hand through his hair in one smooth motion. "The stars must not favor me today, for all of my Karamatsu girls are nowhere to be seen. Heh, if that is the fate of a sinful man, I shall accept it and retreat with peace.''

The looks passersby shoot him border on mentally perturbed and downright horrified, because who the hell monologues atrocities like these out loud? Without being under the influence of something, nonetheless.

With that declaration out of the way, Karamatsu straightens up and decides to head home for the day, deeming it appropriate. What with his love endeavors turning out to be unsuccessful once again, also to no one's big surprise really.

On his way home, whenever the opportunity presents itself, he stops to window-shop every time he passes by a fashion boutique and admires clothes his broke bum probably couldn't afford.

Of course, he attempts not to appear interested, and instead only crosses his arms critically and gives the mannequins clad in clothing the stink eye (even if he's wearing shades of all things) while the workers glance at him warily through the window.

Before another demented sentence is said, suddenly all chaos breaks loose and there are people yelling and instantly he's all too aware of the motorcycle nearing him with each passing second. Karamatsu shrieks so loud he's sure everyone from the next town over had heard him.

"Get out of the way!" The biker shouts and waves a hand to the side for emphasis, and he feels like a fly being swatted away, but even if Karamatsu wanted to move it's almost as if his legs are rooted to the ground.

A wave of panic washes over him and strangely enough there was still enough time for dread to settle in the depths of his stomach. Even if cliché, his life does end up flashing before his eyes － and it's just plain sad how fucking boring it is.

"Get out of the way," you repeat, though you sound more adamant, your tone coated with a sense of urgency.

Ahhh, Mommy! I'll die a virgin, I'll die a loser! Karamatsu cries in his mind. If I survive, I'll get a job, I swear! I'll even stop talking in English, just please! He pleads mentally, to whom is unknown.

Suddenly, you remember that brakes exist and you swerve with such mastery you weren't even aware you possessed up until now, coming to an abrupt stop right in front of your spared victim, tires screeching harshly against the pavement. Karamatsu deadpans, God had a real sense of humor.

He's still frozen in place, barely containing the natural instinct to piss himself. Though, he's also pretty sure the urge to urinate will hit him like a shit ton of bricks post-shock.

Fortunately, he's not Ichimatsu and so he doesn't shit himself in front of the cute girl getting off of the motorcycle, even if she barely missed out on becoming his murderer.

You approach him cautiously, expecting the berating of a lifetime. Though judging by his state － him shaking like a leaf despite his thick leather jacket, also not to mention the buckets worth of sweat rolling off him －, you doubt you'll get an earful.

"Are you okay?'' Obviously, he's not. ''You're not hurt or anything, right?''

Karamatsu shakes his head timidly despite not even listening to a word you said. Then, he gulps and raises a trembling hand to his face, lowering his sunglasses just a smidge to take a good peek at you. ''H-Heh, you have, um, nothing to worry about my dear Karamatsu girl..."

You do your best to smile at him in response, but the need to physically recoil is understandably strong. ''Oh, uh, that's good to hear. I'm sorry for, you know, almost killing you and giving you a fright... It happens a lot for some reason.''

You need to get your license revoked, Karamatsu's eye twitches but he smirks regardless, willing to disregard everything that had occurred just because you were one hot lady. Plus, he is a gentleman, if nothing else.

''As if! You have no reason to fret, mon amour. The thrill of living or dying, chasing that high is what makes or breaks a man! Such a thing couldn't possibly scare me."

''Are you sure? 'Cause I'm certain I heard you scream,'' you grin with more teeth than you should. It'd be such a pleasure to knock him down a couple of notches, you think.

''T-T-That was most definitely not a scream, my darling, I assure you! It was but a noise of excitement at the divine gamble, ahahaha, that's all!'' Karamatsu stutters, stumbling over his words.

You blink, positively unimpressed. "You were excited to get ran over?"

After that, an uncomfortable silence stretches between the two of you. You're pulled into reality by the fact that just about anyone could see your number plate, so it was time to leave and flee the supposed crime scene. You're not getting fined for this, hell no. If anything, you're the one who's in desperate need of reparations after this degenerate conversation.

You mount your motorcycle again and look at him with an almost impish smile, ''You have weird tastes, man." And with that last comment, you're gone in the same breath, leaving behind only a cartoonish dust cloud.

Karamatsu's legs give out and he collapses, falling to his knees. Nobody helps him up.

★

Karamatsu doesn't really visit clubs often. Going by himself makes him feel strangely out of place, going with his brothers makes him feel like a circus attraction, though it's not like it has ever bothered him before.

He would usually lie through his teeth and strive to come off as unbothered and remarkably experienced, a well-seasoned veteran among premature ejaculators, but crowded places like these aren't his scene, at all. Never really have been in the first place.

Perhaps that's why he thinks he doesn't belong here as he observes the rest of the partygoers live it up on the dancefloor while babysitting his beer, one sip at a time.

The music isn't even good, Karamatsu frowns and pinches his eyebrows together, deep in thought. Man, did this place fucking suck. How much did they have to cough up in order for others to rate it a 4-star club?

Well, he supposes it doesn't really matter in the end. As long as the booze's good, that's all he needs to forget this horrible day. A 'nice' hangover is all it takes to wipe his memories clean, which isn't much to brag about.

''Oh, it's you!'' Someone exclaims and he whips his head forward before spitting out his alcohol. What are the odds? You point at him, just as shocked as him at this turn of events, ''Mr. Painful!''

Karamatsu chuckles, raising his glass full of beer as a greeting. ''Madame. Charmed to see you here.''

You roll your eyes but that doesn't hinder you from grinning back at him, ''Oh, the pleasure is all mine, trust me.''

''I would hope so. What are the chances of our paths crossing once more? It leads me to believe that this is no chance encounter. Hmph, why it must be fate.'' Karamatsu blabbers on, implementing wild gestures into his dialogue, takes his sunglasses off and his eyes shine with what you presume is a romantic glint.

You cough a little and wipe the bar clean with a towel, ''Yeah, no. I just work here.''

''The universe works in mysterious ways.''

You laugh. ''Whatever helps you sleep at night, buddy.'' Then, you pat the back of his hand twice. You watch him jump up in surprise and tilt your head to the side, confused.

Karamatsu clutches his hand to his chest, but realizes how fucking ridiculous he must look and simply clears his throat with that same proud expression.

You squint your eyes. ''You're not sick, are you?''

Karamatsu hurries to shake his head, which did nothing but give him a sense of déjà vu. ''N-Non, non! Don't worry your pretty little head over my health, angel. I'm nothing else if not alright, haha.''

You narrow your eyes at him further.

His hands are bundled over his crotch and he has one leg crossed over the other and if Twitter had taught you anything useful at all, it would mean that these are early signs of cock shame. And all of his prior mannerisms, could it be that he is... ''A virgin?''

You did not mean to say that out loud.

Karamatsu's face turns blank for a brief second before he's flapping his hands left and right in firm denial. His face is flushed, panicked and you swear he's on the brink of tears.

When you said that you wanted to knock him off his high horse, this wasn't what you had in mind, at least not exactly. As a matter of fact, you feel sort of bad for the poor guy.

''Hahaha... What are you talking about, my Karamatsu girl? You should be able to tell by now that a man like me is sought after, which is one of the many punishments I must endure!'' He announces, posing with his index and thumb on his chin, a shaky smile slapped on his sweaty face.

You blink, then prop your elbows on the front bar, lean in ask, ''And in reality?''

Karamatsu sits back down in his stool, then promptly downs the rest of his beer. ''A jobless virgin who lives in his parents' house.''

You register the somber look in his eyes. You sigh under your breath and open up the fridge, pulling out the same brand of beer he had been drinking until now and pass the bottle to him casually.

Karamatsu looks up at you in disbelief, glancing between you and the bottle of beer frantically. You flick his forehead, ''Drink up, it's on the house just this once.''

Karamatsu stiffens and then smiles gently, rubbing his wet eyes with the sleeve of his jacket, snivelling. ''Thank you, my Karamatsu girl!''

You cross your arms and huff, ''It's [Name]. And besides, I almost ran you over earlier today, it's the least I can do for you.''

''Thank you, [Name].'' Karamatsu parrots himself and happily takes a swig of his new, freshly refilled drink.

You watch him out of the corner of your eye while serving other customers. When a majority of the people disperse, leaving the two of you mostly alone again, you quickly scribble down your number on a napkin.

''Here,'' you call out to him as you hand him the piece of paper. When he shoots you a curious look, you redirect your attention elsewhere in mock embarrassment. ''You seem like fun, let's drink together for realsies next time. My treat.''

Karamatsu gasps, screaming like a banshee with a voice mutation and you think he emotes a strange, outdated gag while leaping ten feet in the air.

His head hits the ceiling but he comes back down just as quick, blood dripping down his face. Planks come crashing down on top of him, somehow on fire, and you clench your jaw. This will definitely be deducted from your paycheck.

★

Karamatsu wakes up, but he doesn't remember how or when he got home.

He ruffles his hair, only to find his broken shades and several bandages wrapped around his head. He attempts to jog his memory and yet the only thing he's able to recall is slamming face-first into a roof and... And...

He sits up and Olympic dives straight into the couch, barbarically searching for that blessed piece of paper which could very well change the entire trajectory of his life.

When he pulls it out of his leather jacket's pocket, he breathes heavily and fakes a falsetto, opting to roll around on the floor in some sort of wild frenzy.

This is it. I'm finally presented with an opportunity to abandon my virgin ways, Karamatsu thinks with a serious expression, shadows covering his eyes dramatically.

He raises a lone victorious fist in the air, cutting through the Matrix itself. Then, Karamatsu gulps and surveys the area, noticing that the living room is empty, which can only mean one thing. Now is the perfect time to plan a romantic rendezvous with you.

Tip-toeing his way to the hall where the landline is located, Karamatsu muttered curse words whenever the floorboards creaked under his weight.

When he reaches the house phone, he gently unfolds the napkin and smoothes out the wrinkles, then sucks in a deep breath and forces his balls to turn into pure steel.

Dialing your number with practiced caution, he bites his nails and anxiously taps his foot. The longer he waits for you to pick up, the more he loses hope.

Just as he was about to hang up and snap back to his miserable reality, maybe cry for an hour or two, your voice croaks out a, ''Hello, who is this? I can hear you breathing, creep. Helloooo?''

''A-Ah, [Name]! This is, uh, Karamatsu.'' He stutters and twirls his hair around his finger. ''I was pondering over the possibility of us taking a stroll together, bathing in the sun and sharing masterful pastries－"

''A date. You want us to go on a date.''

''Yes,'' Karamatsu admits, or rather embraces the simplified idea of it all. ''It's okay if you don't want to, of course, m'lady! I-I wouldn't force you or anything, it's entirely up to you.''

You pinch your nose on the other line, ''Karamatsu, shut up, 'kay? Yes, I wanna go on a date with you, otherwise I wouldn't have paid for your broke ass last night. Now give me a time and place.''

''You do? You actually want to willingly hang out with me?'' He questions and you can practically smell his meekness and self-doubt oozing out of him even through the phone.

''You're the one who hit up my line first, no takebacks hotshot.'' You say, half-joking.

''Why, yes of course. As expected of my favourite Karamatsu girl!'' My only Karamatsu girl up-to-date. ''Obviously, you desire to spend every waking moment together with me, just as much as I do.''

''Time and place, please and thank you.'' You cut him off mid-effusion.

After arranging the date and going over the details, Karamatsu giddily spins and hugs himself. Then, he slaps his face and nods to no one in particular, as a form of confirmation to his invisible hype men.

Choromatsu stares at him judgementally from the stairway, face twisted in its usual sociopathic manner.

Osomatsu leans over in order to whisper in his ear, "What's up with him? He's acting weirder than usual."

Choromatsu scowls. "I don't wanna know, besides if we show interest that means we're going to have to put up with him."

Osomatsu nods in agreement and rubs under his nose with a finger, "True. It's way too damn early for his theatrics." Then, he throws in his assholish laugh for good measure.

The two of them choose to close their eyes and pretend this never happened in the first place, trudging up the stairs and going right back into their shared room without a care in the world.

★

You check the time and grimace. He's awfully late for someone who asked you out first. You wouldn't say you're the most punctual person in the world, but even still you decided to get all dolled up and ended up arriving early for a change of pace.

At first, you didn't mind waiting for him. Life happens after all, right? Maybe something came up last minute and he couldn't put it off, but if that were the case he would have informed you beforehand, right? Right?

You feel as though you're a step closer to becoming a wacko, but suddenly shake your head to rid your mind of such thoughts and smile to yourself. He'll show up, you're sure of it.

But after thirty more minutes of this nonsense, you're on the verge of throwing a tantrum and disrupting the public tranquility because you got stood up. What a fucking jerk, you think and puff out your cheeks.

Just as you're about to leave, maybe actually run someone over and kill them to make yourself feel better and perhaps blow all of your money on cheap gigolos, you stop and widen your eyes at the sight that greets you.

There's no mistaking those sequinned pants and shiny cowboy boots. Your date, with his wounds all gone and miraculously healed, saunters over to you like he's a runway model, catwalking with a bit of an attitude as if he didn't keep you waiting for half an hour.

He halts when there's barely any distance between the two of you, takes off his shades and flashes you his pearly whites which emit an ominous sparkle and you're temporarily rendered blind. ''Sorry for the wait.''

You grind your teeth together and force yourself to grin, ''Don't worry about it, but what took you so long.''

Karamatsu nervously chuckles and glances to the side, looking anywhere but you.

How the hell is he supposed to tell you that he spent most of the time hiding and sneaking peeks in your direction, but simply didn't have enough courage to approach you and that it took him at least twenty minutes to muster it? Simple, he won't tell you.

Instead, he strikes a pose under the nonexistent limelight. ''A star like me is obligated to be fashionably late.''

''Well, the star better make sure it doesn't happen again or it'll be one sad day for your fanbase,'' you threaten with an innocent smile, batting your eyelashes.

Karamatsu gulps and nods, but an invisible light bulb turns on above his head and he snaps his fingers. ''Oh, yes! How can I forget? I got a present for you, my Karamatsu girl."

You 'ooh' and 'aah' in curiosity, while he retrieves whatever he brought along with him in the meantime.

When he pulls out a tank top with his face on it, the exact same one he's wearing as well, you don't know what to say in response. In fact, your brain might actually be buffering.

Have we lost the impact of shame in our modern-day society? You think in disdain, fighting off the pain in your ribs.

He blushes and hands it to you nonchalantly, ''Here, wear this so suitors know not to mess with you. Once they see you and I together, matching garments and walking hand in hand, they shall understand who the one true power couple is.''

You blink twice and slowly accept the gift, then without any hesitation whatsoever you put on the tank top and wear it over your clothes. You're in too deep already, anyway.

''Thanks a lot, Karamatsu. I, uh, don't know what to say,'' you fake flattery at his sincere act of courtesy, though you're not necessarily lying either. You genuinely have no idea what to say to this entire ordeal.

''No need to thank me, sunshine.'' He pirouettes in slow motion and when he stops, he stretches his hand out for you to take. There is an aura surrounding you and you can make out dreamy bubbles floating around him. And where did the harp come from? ''Now allow me to whisk you off to paradise.''

You grab his hand and excitedly lead him to your parked motorcycle. ''Great, let's go!'' You pat the pillion and stare at him expectantly.

Upon noticing his silence, you stop ushering him to the seat. ''What's wrong, Karamatsu?''

He scratches his nape and lets his head droop low. ''Is it... Um, do we have to get on top of that...'' He points a weak finger at the bike and trembles. What can he say, he has a fear of motorbikes now.

You pout at his inquiry. ''What, you don't wanna? But I thought you were into stuff like this. Why else would you wear a leather jacket?''

Karamatsu winces and immediately rushes to pacify you. ''No, no! That's not it! I was testing your limits, my dear Karamatsu girl. I apologize if－''

You laugh and place a hand on his shoulder, rubbing it soothingly. ''I was just kidding, but if you're really scared we don't have to. It's my fault, after all.''

Karamatsu juts his lip and furrows his eyebrows in determination. He draws a breath and wraps his fingers around your wrist with ease, advancing towards the vehicle with you right behind him.

You gaze at him with something akin to awe, or is it incredulity? He plants himself on the seat and looks back to address you.

''A real man knows better than to turn down a lady and disappoint her,'' he states conclusively. You chuckle and follow suit, sitting down on the saddle.

You grip his arms and move them so they're wrapped around your waist. You twist and turn the key and the engine roars to life in one swoop. ''Hold on tight, [Name] boy.'' You tease his way of talking and take off without a second warning.

HIs head smacks against your back with a rather rough thud and Karamatsu's clasp around your midsection is already tight enough to cut off your air supply. And even if you feel his tears dampening your clothes, you don't comment on it. Instead, you pick up even more speed and in turn, Karamatsu's hug deepens.

''Shouldn't we be wearing safety helmets,'' Karamatsu yells through the lump in his throat, his ears ringing and head spinning.

You shout back at him, ''Who even wears these things nowadays?'' At the lack of your elaboration, he figures you're dead serious and he's petrified all over again.

You laugh maniacally, or at least you do so in his mind, as you go off course, making sharp turns left and right at every corner to wreak havoc on innocent people's lives.

You narrowly dodge two pedestrians and Karamatsu is finally desensitized enough to smile and blush as he takes in the ever-changing view.

There's something sweet in the way you repeat a certain motion whenever you hear him chuckle and cheer, he can't pinpoint if that's the starving desperation that thirsts for touch and companionship or something else entirely.

But then something punctures your tire and he's pulled out of dreamland all at once.

The two of you wobble on the unstable bike for a bit before you pull him by the jacket and jump off the motorcycle, rolling on the ground like you two were in an action movie. The motorcycle continues on its way without your guidance and eventually crashes into a tree, exploding.

A tire with a flame on it flies over your heads and you study the fire, unimpressed with pursed lips. ''Thank god it was a gift from my ex, otherwise I would've been in some deep shit.''

Karamatsu sinks to the ground and curls up in a ball.

★

You plop your ass on the grass next to Karamatsu, handing him a soda you bought from the convenience store nearby. Karamatsu mutters a small 'thank you' and takes a sip.

The two of you sit in complete silence on the riverbank and you're too abashed to begin talking first, finding the whole outcome to be your fault. You've given this man too many apologies for them to feel truthful at this point. Maybe he should do the most logical thing and start evading you. You deserve it.

Amidst your inner conflict, Karamatsu fixes you with a solemn look and chooses to break the ice. ''[Name], am I ugly?''

Taken aback by the unusual question, you cock your head to the side. ''Huh?''

''Tell me, am I ugly?''

You consider him for a moment longer and then gently cup his face with your hands, inspecting it from every possible angle you could manage.

You narrow your eyes in concentration before ruffling his hair. ''Not at all.''

''Really?''

''Not in the slightest. Well, at least I see the appeal." You shrug noncommittally. ''Why're you asking, though? That pretty much came out of nowhere.''

''Because if I'm not ugly, then why would you want to kill me? Every woman I meet either ignores me, beats me half to death or hates me. Why? Am I really that painful? Is that going to be my fate for the entirety of my life?''

You blink and hum in thought, placing a finger on your chin. ''Very, you're real painful but not enough for me to want to kill you, I guess. I think you just have extremely bad luck.''

Karamatsu frowns and crosses his arms, ''You think so? Is it really just bad luck or is there something bigger at play?''

The two of you ponder over what the real cause of Karamatsu's misfortune may be before your stomachs growl in protest simultaneously.

This seems to revive his alter ego because Karamatsu jolts and he appears pleased, almost as if he had been waiting for this exact same moment. He chuckles and spreads eagle, facing the sun. You're concerned he's going to get a heat stroke.

''It's finally my turn,'' Karamatsu announces, though you're not sure he knows what he's talking about. ''I shall take the princess to an exquisite place, where she can try real fine dining!''

He strokes his imaginary facial hair, winking. Even his eyebrows seem more refined. ''Follow my lead, dove.'' You were going to do just that even without him saying anything, but you salute him regardless.

Even though mere minutes ago it was still sunny, for some reason it's already dark out. You and Karamatsu trek for what must have felt like hours until he stops dead in his tracks. You wonder why until you spot the lonely food stall and smile.

You and Karamatsu make yourselves comfortable on the bench and he greets the owner, ''Yo, Chibita! How's your night been so far?''

It just turned nighttime... You deadpan.

''Y'know, dealing with jackasses of your kind－,'' Chibita scoffs before pausing, turning to you with unblinking eyes. Then, after he's done assessing you, he redirects his attention to Karamatsu. ''You payin' for rental girlfriends again? Get some dignity, man.''

You raise an eyebrow in question, but sneer and hide it with your fist. ''Rental girlfriend? That's a good idea, why didn't I think of that?''

Karamatsu's expression sours. ''[Name] isn't a rental. Besides who are you to talk, Chibimi?''

''Shut up, don't remind me! I was in a dark place, idjit,'' Chibita yells in response and smacks him on the head with a ladle and you watch their antics with a hint of amusement.

''Anyway,'' Karamatsu waves him off, despite the large bump he earned on his forehead. ''Give us the best oden and beer you've got in store, I'll make sure my woman eats right tonight.''

You shudder in surprise as Karamatsu takes your hand into his own, gazing at you with what must be an entire galaxy in his eyes and you wonder where he found those E.T. contact lenses. ''Don't hold back, order whatever your heart desires. It's all on me.''

Chibita complies with the request, serving two portions of oden and the beverages Karamatsu asked for. Though, he can't help but want to sate his curiosity. ''With what money?''

''With the money I exploited from my Mommy,'' Karamatsu boasts like that's something to take immense pride in.

After three to four rounds of drinking and pigging out on Chibita's oden, it was time to wrap up and call it a night.

Karamatsu snakes his hands in his pockets in search of the money he claimed to have, but he freezes as he finds nothing instead. Turning his pockets inside out, a fly flutters out of them and Karamatsu pales.

You seem to get the memo and nod conspiratorially his way.

You square your shoulders as Karamatsu nervously clears his throat. ''Chibita...,'' he begins before throwing you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. ''I'm so sorry, I'll pay you back someday!''

Chibita stands still for a couple of seconds, processing. Afterwards, he lunges over the counter and begins chasing you. ''Damn it, idjit! You promised you'd pay, get back here! Damn it!''

With Chibita hot on your heels, Karamatsu goes through several alleyways as last resort shortcuts, and you come to the conclusion that Chibita is probably really scary if Karamatsu's going through so much trouble just to lose him and shake him off your trail.

"You can put me down now," you grumble and make a face. Karamatsu panics, just now realizing what predicament he had put you in, and sets you down with extra care.

"I apologize for that," he huffs out, attempting to catch his breath with his hands on his knees. You rub his back, acting as his emotional support.

Looking around the vicinity in search for any signs of Chibita, you come up empty. Helping Karamatsu to his feet, you deliver the good news. "He's gone, so you can stop looking constipated."

He sighs, relieved. "Such is the result of an eventful night. However, I will make sure your journey back home is undisturbed."

You shake your head in disagreement and throw an arm around his shoulder. "I think you've had enough, tough guy. Here, how about I take you home?"

Karamatsu seems distraught at the very idea of it, but for your sake he flips his hair and leers. "Your wish is my command."

With his directions, you manage to escort him back to his house safe and sound. Karamatsu opens his mouth to blurt out something, but is caught off guard by the abrupt change in the weather.

You both run with impressive speed under his house's roof to take cover and you deduct that the rain wouldn't be letting up for a while.

"Well, this sucks," you point out the obvious. Karamatsu nods wordlessly.

You think about calling a taxi, but something gets draped over you. You look down and are pleasantly astonished to discover that it's Karamatsu's leather jacket.

Said man is quivering in his flimsy excuse of a tank top, licentiously grinning at you with a very obvious snot bubble emerging out of his nostrils. "C-C-Can't le-let my favorite Karamatsu girl catch a cold." He elaborates for whatever reason.

"Well, I can't keep my favorite [Name] boy out for much longer, either." You give him a brief hug and were about to pull away, but Karamatsu is apparently not done dishing out surprises.

He grips your shoulders with resolve, before leaning in and kissing you on the cheek. It's a quick, demure kiss and if you were to blink, you would've missed it.

Nonplussed by his own boldness, Karamatsu stumbles towards the door with two left feet, barely succeeding in opening it.

"Get back home safely, [Name]!" He bids you farewell in true virgin fashion and slams the door shut in your face. You cackle, violently laughing to yourself and then crack a small smile, pressing a palm to your kissed cheek.

You must look like a fool, standing out in the rain while wearing a loser's clothes, but honestly? You've never felt better after such a tragic date.

★

You sigh and sling a towel over your shoulder, more than a little happy to finally clock out. Tonight had been particularly busy for some reason and working with a slight hangover was far from ideal, but it wasn't something you couldn't handle.

You dab your fellow bartender up, not even bothering to spare him a glance, and begin packing up your things with fervor.

He issues you a sly wink, ''Going home so soon, [Last Name]?''

Get a clue, wise guy. You internally roll your eyes, but only offer an exhausted smile. ''Not necessarily, got to make a pit stop on the way home.''

Akihito, you remember, folds his hands behind his head, rocking on his heels. ''Paying your boyfriend a visit?'' He hums cheekily.

You blink. ''Huh?''

He gestures towards the paper bag in your hands, which barely concealed the shitty leather jacket you were so generously lent.

You furrow your brows and scratch your cheek with an awkward expression. ''Wouldn't really call him a boyfriend...''

Akihito stretches, whining, ''You can be so cold, y'know. I feel sorry for the poor guy.''

''Another word and I'll really make you sorry.''

Akihito throws up a peace sign, grinning from ear to ear. ''Night, [Last Name]!''

You grumble under your breath and throw the towel on the ground. Akihito hears you say something along the lines of 'thought so' and other such death threats, but he feeds off your negativism. He odiosynthesizes and you know that, which makes you feel better about brushing him off, at least.

The walk to Karamatsu's place is as unmemorable as can be, and while it wouldn't kill you to see him again and chat for a bit, you don't think you'd be able to put up with him for long (or anyone else for that matter). When you spot his house, you brace yourself before sharply knocking on the door.

Well, you were supposed to knock but somehow developing last-minute Spidey senses, Karamatsu tears open the door to his balcony and puts a stop to your supposedly evil schemes. ''Don't'!'' He manages to both whisper and scream at the same time.

''What are you doing here at this hour, angel? Trying to get me crucified, perhaps?'' Karamatsu interrogates you and considering how disheveled his appearance is, you reach the conclusion that his fictional persona is merely an afterthought at the moment. You find a peace of mind at the conjecture.

''I'm just here to return your jacket,'' you say like it was obvious, which it should have been.

''I see.'' He doesn't see jackshit. ''But I cannot help but wonder why you didn't call beforehand. I, too, need my fair share of beauty sleep, sweetheart.''

Your eye twitches and you ball your fists, but remember to count to ten in your head.

''For your information, I called three times but maybe if someone bothered to pick up, I wouldn't be robbing you of your sweet dreams,'' you hiss in reply, proud of yourself for not chucking his damned jacket in the trash can in his presence.

Karamatsu rubs the crust from his eyes, though he does appear sheepish to a degree. ''My sincere apologies.''

You scoff, glad to have come out on top at this pointless back-and-forth.

Karamatsu anxiously chews on his lower lip, trying his best to conjure up a plan that will avoid his certain death at the hands of his brothers. Not even for waking them up at three in the morning, but for the mere fact that he was 'romancing' a hot chick.

Then he grins and looks down at you like a mad genius. He couldn't be further from the word.

''Climb up and join me on the roof, [Name],'' he suggests and acts as if it was a perfectly reasonable demand.

You undeliberately blank out for a second before chuckling lowly and nodding in understanding. ''I get it now. You're actually fucking nuts and escaped from a correctional facility.''

Look who's talking, Karamatsu wants to retort but he keeps it to himself. He beckons you over encouragingly, ''Please, [Name] dearest. I promise I won't let anything happen to you. I'll be your guardian angel.''

You're acutely aware that something will definitely happen, so you only click your tongue, still apprehensive about the proposition.

Karamatsu continues to stare at you with that tender smile, though it's different this time. His hair is sticking out in different directions, ungroomed. His eyes are heavy, bloodshot and sleep still clings to him as he staggers slightly in his step. But he's smiling at you, it's real.

You put aside your concerns for now and exhale slowly, biting the handles of your paper bag.

You jump and grab a hold of the portico, flailing your legs to help stabilize yourself. Your fingers burn because this is the most physically exerting thing you've done in your life thus far.

You push yourself up on the portico and, just like a mollusk, inch forward bit by bit. Karamatsu tries his hardest not to laugh at your misery, but he's unable to take you seriously. You're moving slower than an old man with two broken legs, plus you look like you have a stick shoved up your ass.

Once you're a safe distance away from the edge, you extend your arms and Karamatsu takes this as his cue to act and be useful.

He grabs your hands and hauls you up on the balcony, but this quest is not over just yet. You have to conquer the final boss; the rooftop.

''I have an idea,'' you both blurt out at random. You don't care much about that, but Karamatsu is over the moon at the perfect synchronization.

Coincidence or not, the two of you end up cooking up the same strategy.

You get on top of Karamatsu's shoulders and with the sudden added height, reaching the roof is a piece of cake. After settling your ass down on the tiles, you grit your teeth and clasp hands with him for the umpteenth time, having him work his way up as well.

With a heave-ho, Karamatsu is free to lie down beside you.

You're hit with a much needed reality check. All of this over a second-hand jacket? Unbelievable.

Tossing the paper bag on his lap carelessly, you scowl. ''You're welcome, asshole.''

''C-Come on, my dear Karamatsu girl. It wasn't that bad, right?''

''Speak for yourself...''

Karamatsu props up his elbows, craning his head up just enough to be able to see you. ''It's such a shame, however. The view from here is perfect, all that's missing is my guitar. Too bad my precious brothers are sleeping soundly.''

''Yeah, about that. I don't know what any of your brothers have to do with this, 'cause whatever the fuck this was could've been easily prevented.'' You cross your arms and turn away from him, establishing a decent amount of room between the two of you.

''You wouldn't understand, darling. Yes, even if I did give you an explanation.'' He responds, and you feel as though he was reading your mind. You shiver at the sheer thought.

The two of you don't indulge in idle chatter afterwards since you're too busy looking back on all of your previous life decisions, trying to figure out what led you to go down such paths. Karamatsu, on the other hand, is gliding himself closer to you.

You notice his ventures and decide to cut him some slack. You shift, erasing the previous space you set and move a hand to place on his shoulder. He hiccups at the touch and begins stammering, playing with his fingers. ''Hahaha... your eyes shine so brightly under the moon's glow.''

You shush him, still not in the mood to listen to his poetic nonsense and bullshit of similar nature.

The two of you stare each other down and Karamatsu does his best to put up a brave front, but you're not blind and you see the way he peers at you from under his lashes, sweating like a musclehead.

Before things could escalate any further, which you doubt is something that would have happened considering who exactly you're dealing with, the both of you slip off the edge.

You're falling and Karamatsu is too, and while you're mostly accepting of the scenario, he isn't. You're more surprised at the fact that this man-child's shrill wails aren't waking up the entire neighbourhood, though they're probably accustomed to these kinds of phenomena by now.

In order to break your fall, Karamatsu adjusts mid-air so as to be under you. He shoves your face into his chest, embracing you but his actions prove to be the wrong move as they merely speed up the process of nosediving into the concrete.

The two of you flop like prepped meatballs on a grill, a sinistrous thump resonating at the dead of night.

You briefly register the sizzling elbow pain you've obtained and Karamatsu's jaw headbutting you at the last second, but other than that you took it pretty well － all thanks to Karamatsu's interference. Perhaps chivalry isn't dead?

While you got out of this with barely any injuries, just small scratches, the same couldn't be said for Karamatsu, who was currently experiencing concussions.

You pat his chest lightly to snatch up his attention. Karamatsu groans, seeing stars floating above him. You make yourself comfortable despite the joint strains, snuggling up to him. ''I'm egging your house soon, be aware.''

He passes out before he could formulate a coherent reply.

★

You haven't seen neither hide nor hair of Karamatsu ever since the rooftop fiasco. And you don't want to sound needy, or downright crazy for that matter, but you miss the man with horrible pick-up lines and over-the-top attitude. Him and his awful sense of fashion, not to mention the strong cologne.

Perhaps you've been infected with some new kind of mental illness, one so new and fresh out of the oven it has yet to be diagnosed by teenage girls with too much free time on their hands.

First, you visit Chibita for any sort of intel he might possess.

''Karamatsu? Sorry, him and his brothers hadn't stopped by as of recent.'' He shrugs apologetically and whips out oden skewers, serving them to you.

You nod and grin at him in understanding, paying for the food before scurrying away on a full stomach.

Next, you consider what other options you have at your disposal. Calling him has proven to be absolutely useless and you're not sure if paying his house a visit would be a good idea, given how worked up he got over such a possibility last time.

You search far and wide, in every nook and cranny, not leaving a single stone unturned. But alas, no dice. Not a trace of him anywhere and you speculate the probability of him glitching into The Backrooms.

You're about to give up, hunting Karamatsu for sport and worrying about him won't do you any good.

You're not getting paid for this, you also don't know him all too well to be actively seeking him out. His dramatic temperament has rubbed off on you, but you're ready to wash it off.

See if I care, you huff and kick a stray can in your way. You're aware of how childishly you're behaving, but you bluff fake indifference as if anyone would be stupid enough to believe you.

You stomp angrily and punt another can with your foot, but accidentally hit someone when doing so.

You flinch and prepare to half-ass an apology before realizing you hit the man you've been getting grey hairs over.

''Karamatsu?'' You blink and crouch down to shake him by the shoulders. ''Hey, what's wrong?''

Karamatsu weakly smiles and shuffles away, offering you a seat next to him on the curb.

You frown, ''Seriously, what happened?''

Karamatsu laughs, manspreading. ''I'm grateful for your concern, but it's... Well, it's simply a foolish thing to be upset about.''

''If it upset you, then it's not dumb.'' You respond, reassuring him to the best of your ability. ''Now, spill the beans.''

''I've been thinking about my personality, I guess?'' He mutters and cracks his knuckles, he tends to fidget quite a lot. ''Like, am I annoying? Trying too hard? Should I stop?''

You listen to him and stay quiet, occassionally rubbing his back. ''I want to be liked.'' You quirk an eyebrow at that, but don't interrupt him otherwise.

''It's lame at my big age to want to be popular, but I wanna be kissed. I wanna have a girlfriend and go on dates, but I'm afraid my personality will drive everyone away."

For fuck's sake, he was called Shittymatsu and frankly, he's surprised you were able to withstand him for so long.

''Karamatsu, want me to be completely honest,'' you ask. He nods rapidly at you. You hum softly, ''I didn't lie before, you are painful. You say so much corny stuff, I'm impressed you can even look yourself in the mirror.''

He cringes, but you pay him no heed. Instead, you continue, ''I mean, really? Who wears tank tops with their face slapped right in the middle, what a fucking dork. But, y'know, I kinda like it now.''

''Huh?''

''I think that type of shit grew on me, for better or worse. I, too, have become a member of the cornball community." You admit and you shudder at your mushy honesty.

You rub the back of your head in embarrassment, "When you say all of these dumb nicknames and act like you own all of Akatsuka Ward a small part of me wishes I die on the spot, but I don't necessarily hate it.''

You hug him and bring him closer to you. You snicker and peck him on the forehead, ''Don't worry so much about who ignores you or hates you is all, when you have someone who likes you despite every cringe one-liner right in front of ya.''

''You're right.'' Karamatsu returns the hug, sniffing and holding back tears. ''[Name]?''

''Yeah?''

''You're a true Karamatsu girl.''

Getting kisses from a hot lady? Karamatsu would love that. And the prospect of you being the one to give them to him, with that warm smile which makes your nose crinkle up, makes the scenario sound even better.

But for now, he's content with you simply pressed up against his side, where he can easily peer over at you and study your face until it's burned and etched forever into his brain. Subtly, of course.

You look up at him with a raised eyebrow after feeling him drill holes in your head since forever, which in turn leads Karamatsu to let out an urbane chuckle and lamely pretend to fix his stray strands of hair, and you can't help but snort at his usual theatrical character.

You sigh and rest your forehead against his. "Painful," you mumble under your breath, though definitely loud enough for him to hear, then giggle.

Karamatsu playfully frowns in response. "My flower, you should know by now that no pain means no gain." He tuts with an exaggerated wag of his finger, eyes animatedly glittering.

You laugh in utter disbelief before shaking your head, wrapping a loose arm around his waist. "Sorry, sorry. You know damn well I don't mean it, right?"

Karamatsu hums and his lips curl upwards to form a small, fond smile. He places his chin on your shoulder and you lean into him even more.

Yeah, Karamatsu could get used to this. For now, that was more than enough for him.

Getting kisses from a hot lady really would be nice, but watching the sun set on the cold pavement with you next to him feels good, too. And hey, you are a hot lady, so what's there to hate?

And to think all of this was thanks to your irresponsible driving.

Osomatsu whistles, nudging Choromatsu as they stared at the two of you from afar. Despite their earlier sentiments, curiosity got the better of them and they decided to investigate their brother's own private time. It's not like he could file a restraining order against them, he would be tortured.

"Kudos to Karamatsu, I actually salute him for managing to bag a real human being. Didn't think he had it in him." Osomatsu snickers, hands deep in his hoodie's pockets.

Choromatsu appears depleted beyond belief, eyeing you both with evident disapproval on his facial features, "What sort of lobotomized romance was this? Felt more like a simulation."

Osomatsu and Choromatsu sigh, both fully synchronized, and groan out, "It should have been me."