#STOP AWWWWWW

[thesunnydrummer]

Kalim I care abt you ♡

I care aw bout u too anon<3

[nyaawn]

Cat + Moogle + Cloud = Cutest murder totem <3

[gorillaxyz]

everyone please stop comparing phoenix to puppies I AM GOING TO PUNCH MY FUCKING WALL UNTIL MY FISTS BLEED 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[paperconsumption]

started reading mairuma why is every character the cutest cutie pie in the whole wide world

[mystery-star]

I simply can't get over how wholesome that part where Jack is made Acting Commodore in "Mauritius Command"

Like...

Officially adressed as Commodore Aubrey. LOVE IT.

And his crew 'secretly' made that pendant for Jack because they KNEW he was gonna be 'promoted'.

Then Jack even needing to show his new pendant (that he loves) to Stephen, his best friend.

Just so wholesome. All of it.

[au-mashup-party]

*Ruby walks towards Rosey white waving*

"Heya Rosey, guess who's here!"

Dad of the Year Award! 🏆

[tapsoda]

YIIIIPPEEREERE I ACTUALLY GASPED

[merry-andrews]

OP I want to eat your art AAAaaahh!!!!! It's so so cute and heartwarming 💓 💖 💕 💗 😍 ☺

the takahashi carlton twins are so silly

[acoldsovereign]

SUBJECT MATTER: Old (Unprompted) Meme-Move From Old Blog // sender: @peoplcshope.

SHE ALERTED HER SLAVES ABOUT AN EXTENDED ABSENCE. She wasn't sure how long the trip would take, but she estimated the timeframe to be within a couple of hours or days. Regardless, they were to run themselves as if she was still present--in other words, they had to pretend to be self-governing. She left instructions for them written in Ancient Saiya and a translation besides it (using the Modern variant), since most of the enslaved Races lacked the throat power and necessary internal makeup to make the same guttural sounds as she. Maiz made it abundantly clear that they were to report anything unsavory to her immediately.

She could (theoretically) replace Trunks, but not her kingdom.

----

WHEN SHE FIRST SHOWED VULNERABILITY, IT WAS AGAINST HER WILL. The nightmare of the Genocide haunted her dreams; screams and shrill alarms mixed together and deafened her child-like ears, thick tears, and the raging fire within tight, narrow hallways bathed in a dangerous red light effectively made her blinder than she already was. It usually ended the same way; Karne scooped her up with her tail and blitzed through the haze of death and carnage, then bumped Maiz up in her arms when the coast was clear enough. Maiz was shoved into an escape pod with hushed promises of being brought back when everything blew over, but she didn't care about that. She banged on the alien glass (of which was red too)--crying, screaming, pleading to fight with her, to know what was going on, why everyone was suddenly dying.

Sometimes the night terrors were crueler, and she perished along with them, her corpse reduced to ash in the hallways alongside the colleagues she used to know. She would perish on Planet Vegeta instead of in the atmosphere of Planet Kokytus.

Trunks had the displeasure of witnessing her cry during the first scenario, in her sleep.

----

SOMETIMES, SHE REGRETTED TELLING HIM ANYTHING. He was determined to show her 'she wasn't alone' in regards to tragedy and loss. It truthfully annoyed her that he committed her tear-streaked face and closely guarded hardships to memory; talking about her feelings didn't come natural to her. She had no equals--no peers. Merely associates she kept close to her chest (not everything was something to be shared with the time-traveler). None of them knew half of what she willfully divulged to him--not the aliens who did her hair and nails, not the tailor who customized her armors, nor any of the owners of the shopping strips she frequented who knew her by name and supplied her with the fabrics she used to design her bodysuits. Many of her slaves didn't even know why they were subjugated, either.

Outside of him, she wasn't known to be a person. She was an oppressive force of nature. She existed for a reason--otherwise, why would she still be alive? Why would she, out of everyone else, survive? She chose her purpose: to kill and destroy and enjoy it. She was a predator. A ruthless opportunist. A mass murderer and slave-owner. A ravager of worlds and crusher of dreams and hopes. Hells, at one point, she wanted to crush Trunks' own. She still carried those sadistic desires, but in a different manner with the passing days.

The device he made specifically for her--the holorogorus-disruptor, which hid her presence from other demons and Time Patrollers--on her left wrist itched, but she ignored it. Instead, Maiz listened to him go on and on about his world and what it meant to him. Talking about herself still felt foreign and out of place, so she made sure to ask pointed and highly detailed questions to keep the topic on him and off of her. Traveling to a different Earth wasn't what she expected either. The climate was the same but different--this sun felt a little hotter, the gravity somewhat weaker. Perhaps that's why her ruddy-complexion darkened progressively as he was kind enough to give her a tour of the places most precious to him . . . ?

The texture of her hair changed as the tour went on--her spikes fell towards her face and the waves seemingly shrunk. It wasn't exactly fair to say her iconic crown of bright red became straight, but it was close. She noticed the changes too late; one third of her energy was spent keeping stock of what Trunks told her, the second third was focused on memorizing the route they took just in case anything happened. Not that they'd be lost (because he knew the way), but because depending on another person outside of herself was a steep learning curve and she was abysmally failing at it. The final third of her energy was spent watching his reactions, studying his social cues (many of her relationships up until this point were either impersonal or strictly professional), and waiting for more appropriate opportunities to ask questions to keep him talking. It was when they reached the underground lab that he was seized by memories.

Silence fell when his gaze caught upon a pictured frame sitting upon a desk next to a dimly lit computer; a blue-haired, bright-eyed Bulma wrapped in what could only be called a warm embrace by two older people with vastly different hair colors, textures and clothes. She assumed this was Bulma's origin--Trunks' human grandparents. Suddenly, his purple hair made sense. (She's seen Saiyans with his shade of blue eyes before but haven't found a way to tell him yet; mostly because she didn't want to sound like she'd been staring at him too hard . . .). Maiz heard him mention the roof but she was much too taken with the genetic diversity displayed with the Brief Family genes. It all reminded her of home, eerily so. Contrary to belief, the Saiyans weren't all black haired and dark eyed. It was a misconception, a rumor started by Frieza to make them sound like an incestuous lot. Unappealing. To lower their market value overall, to make the Saiyans easier to control and eventually dispose of.

SHE TOOK A COUPLE OF STEPS BACK, UNNERVED BY A QUEASY FEELING IN HER STOMACH.

Her dead face briefly took on an expression of pain (furrowed brows, a frown, scrunched up features) before it went away. It was quick--a blink-and-you'll-miss-it event. Finally, she was able to look away and focus on other things. She looked at Trunks first, around, then up (there was exposed wiring on the walls, the plaster was chipped, the dome was indeed un-roofed, scorch marks trailed from where the roof would've began pointed at what the cause was, etc). She did this until her heart rate slowed, until her thoughts were no longer disarrayed, until her instincts no longer screamed to destroy the remnants of whatever he could call a home. She had to remind himself he wasn't mocking her, nor was he rubbing his life experiences in her face; he was showing her shared pain.

With a small sigh and slow sway of her tail, she asked, ". . .what else is here?" The quality of tone was detached, distant. Neutral, safe and boring. Not monotone--but as if she was disinterested with it all. Alas, this was simply how she sounded for the moment. Socialization in this manner was not her strong suit.

Neither was showing genuine concern.

[witchof-hearts]

aww :)

[zanderbobs]

Remembered yesterday how easy to draw my dogs are. 10/10 will be drawing them as much as possible until I forget that fact.

[astonmartinii]

but daddy i love him [guilty as sin part two] | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem sainz!reader

when an unstoppable force (the sainz men when they feel aggrieved) meets an immovable object (charles and y/n)

MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

carlossainz55

liked by landonorris, marcmarquez93 and 783,409 others

carlossainz55: never forget where you came from

view all comments

user100: insert cricket noises here

user101: who on your PR team said this was a good idea?

user102: they need to be fired, sorry not sorry

landonorris: i love your dad (tell him to stop beating me at golf)

carlossainz55: if he never lets me win he's definitely never letting you win

landonorris: so unfair i thought i was the third sainz sibling :(

carlossainz55: i'm an only child

landonorris: oh-

user103: i need this man to choke i'm being so serious rn

user104: that's so unbelievably fucked

user105: the fact his dad is probably co-signing this shit is insane that's YOUR DAUGHTER

user106: also someone give lando a lil slap around he's on the wrong side of history on this one

yourusername: scandal does funny things to pride

carlossainz55: if the scandal is betraying your family that's all you

yourusername: if we're talking about betrayal then that's your specialist subject mr. i've cheated on every girl i've ever been with - and while we're on the topic of betrayal, yes i was the one who told them

carlossainz55: i've never cheated why are you stooping to lies?

yourusername: you did it right in front of my face when i was a part of this family

carlossainz55: so you've always been comfortable going behind my back

yourusername: that's the thing, when you're treated like you don't exist by your family you learn that blood is not thicker than water

carlossainz55: i can't wait for charles to cheat on you

yourusername: btw i already called marca, they know any of those allegations from you or dad are false - good luck!

user10: obvs i know they should be doing this in private but MORE DRAMA FOR ME BABY LETS KEEP THIS GOING

user107: thank you for the validation y/n i KNEW THE SHIT STIRRING COMING FROM THAT PAPER WAS THE SAINZ CAMP

user108: and they've got the nerve to be talking about stooping - the call is coming from inside the house

maxverstappen1: ugly twins

carlossainz55: really?

maxverstappen1: i said what i said and i mean what i said

carlossainz55: i would say she's not going to fuck you bro but you really never know with her

maxverstappen1: she would never, homewrecking is a trait only the male sainzs seem to have

user109: OOP

user110: max is a real lestappen queen fighting the battles he knows charles can't

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, maxverstappen1 and 893,405 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: if you know within one glimpse, its legendary

view all comments

user114: i love how she goes from fighting her brother in one comment section to just showing off her hot bf

user115: tbf charles does have a face you'd go to war for so i get her

user116: i'd abandon my family for that face

yourusername: finally someone who fucking gets it

charles_leclerc: you made me believe in love at first sight

yourusername: awwwwww you're such a sweet talker the REAL smooth operator

pierregasly: i can verify it was love at first sight cause the man did not SHUT THE FUCK UP about you well... ever

charles_leclerc: is it a crime to love my girlfriend?

pierregasly: apparently!

yourusername: he's too cute to go to jail :(

charles_leclerc: they'd ruin me

yourusername: that's my job 🤨

pierregasly: you keep that to yourselves

user117: does this girl need to shade carlos on every single fucking post... yeah we get it he's the only reason you're relevant but god you reek of desperation

oscarpiastri: is this carlos' burner account?

user118: are the grid just sat around waiting to be tagged in to the fight against carlos?

oscarpiastri: what's he going to do? crash into me? he does that every weekend anyway

user119: uh oh carlos oscar is finally fighting back off track what are you going to do

user120: don't worry i'm sure he'll post a selfie with lando and try the whole carlando shtick to get some more PR points

maxverstappen1: oh this was not the shit slinging post i was hoping for

yourusername: something tells me you're having way too much fun with this

maxverstappen1: yeah you might have been abandoned by your family but have YOU considered that this is letting me express all my mean girl energy off track so i am level-headed on track

maxverstappen1: actually i don't even think i'm being mean tbf

yourusername: i'm glad my suffering could be your therapy

carlossainz55: BOO HOO you're not suffering ... it's something called the consequences of your actions (read: actions being a snakey slut)

yourusername: bro over here acting like i committed fratricide

maxverstappen1: TAP ME IN

maxverstappen1: not this man talking about the consequences of actions. kids, here's a little life lesson: if you spend all your time at your current job talking about how you have a much better job waiting for you and how you're too big for this job and plant stories about your co-workers, you can't be surprised that that same job doesn't want to keep you

carlossainz55: i am better than charles

yourusername: lying is a sin

maxverstappen1: and you're going straight to hell

user121: you guys might be mourning the loss of charlos (whatever the fuck that is) but i'm celebrating the absolute shit ton of LESTAPPEN we're getting

user122: max was like oh my bff is dating charles here's my excuse to be nice about him again

user123: if we're being real here the biggest crime of this whole situation is the fact that charles can't really dig the knife in

user124: @ silvia i have maybe £4.50 and a greggs sausage roll to my name but PLEASE LET CHARLES TAP IN

f1

liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 1,298,006 others

tagged: oscarpiastri & carlossainz55

f1: f1... the sport that gives you just as much drama off track as we do on track!

view all comments

user125: at this point even before the whole carlos ousting his sister i think oscar was about 👌🏻 this close to rocking carlos nascar style we should let him do it

user126: i will personally pay his legal fees tbh

oscarpiastri: i'm only 23 i don't need two F1-related legal cases to my name

yourusername: i've watched legally blonde about ten billion times let me represent you

oscarpiastri: yeah sounds legit

user127: THAT'S IT WE NEED PROXIMITY CHAT IN F1

user128: the way we know there was a shit talking session like no other after this race

maxverstappen1: i don't kiss and tell but well - yes!

user128: okay since this is clearly a safe space... who was there please spill mr. verstappen

maxverstappen1: ME! charles, pierre, oscar, checo, alex and george!

user128: why the fuck were the last two there?

georgerussell63: i was on official GDPA duty 🤓

alexalbon: that's a lie we're just very nosey

yourusername: they're the biggest PTA moms ever don't even lie

georgerussell63: yes i'll make allergy friendly cupcakes for the bake sale but i'll also spit in them and gossip about your cheating husband - sorry about it!

alexalbon: he's not

georgerussell63: i'm not

user129: carlos slagging off y/n but she's really brought the grid together

user130: george and alex being like we do not care about that but we do want the latest scoop

alexalbon: oh don't get it twisted we're firmly team y/n

user131: we even got the f1 admin in on the drama

carlossainz55: she's probably fucking them as well

yourusername: BORING get a new bit babe

carlossainz55: if i see whore i'm going to say whore

yourusername: aren't you still in that damn stewards office?

carlossainz55: tell your little lap dog to keep his front wing away from my car and maybe i wouldn't

oscarpiastri: suck my dick

yourusername: now that's true poetry

user132: oH!

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, alexalbon and 763,409 others

tagged: charles_leclerc, logansargent & oscarpiastri

yourusername: florida !!!!!!!!!!! is one hell of a drug. no seriously what is in the water here i keep picking up these little guys everywhere i go

view all comments

user135: she's really like i AM spanish and i will colonise this grid

user136: stealing all the lil cuties for her cause

oscarpiastri: proud to be a part of this weird little circus thing we've got going on

yourusername: oh dibs on ring master

logansargent: i feel like my name is written all over tight rope walking

yourusername: okay yes skinny legend

maxverstappen1: obvs we're a cruelty free circus so no lions but if there were lions, that's me babe

maxverstappen1: SOME people could learn... cough, cough trophy hunters

charles_leclerc: idk i'll just take the one where i can sit there and be pretty

yourusername: and you would be the best at it

oscarpiastri: which one does the least? i'll take that one

user137: bro can we slow the fuck down i was just getting over osc telling carlos to suck his dick now we're talking CIRCUS?

user138: for real couldn't it have at least been cabaret i wanna see ALL of that

charles_leclerc: 🤨

carlossainz55: i think a circus is a perfect way to describe your desperate attempt to stay relevant

yourusername: don't you have a job to go to? oh wait...

carlossainz55: as if i'm threatened by a group with the likes of logan sargent in it

logansargent: bit harsh, i'm a nice guy (unlike some)

yourusername: carlos here's a little bit of a wild thing i'm about to introduce to you.... people have friends?

yourusername: also you WISH you had a face card like logie

carlossainz55: i have friends?

yourusername: no you have PR strategies, there's a difference

carlossainz55: bro learnt the word PR and ran with it

yourusername: tell me one person who would let you crash on their couch?

yourusername: QUICKLY.

fernandoalo_oficial: and don't even think about mentioning me

user139: she hit him with the bianca del rio

user140: OOP and also nando just popping up out of nowhere to diss carlos and never say anything again

charles_leclerc: the drug in question being puppy fever

maxverstappen1: tell me you didn't get a dog

yourusername: boy do i have news for you

carlossainz55: are you trying to baby trap him

yourusername: first woman in history to birth a dog you heard it here first

charles_leclerc: you simply can't be babytrapped when you would literally jump off a bridge if asked to

user141: @myboyfriend TAKE NOTES HONEY ^^^

charles_leclerc

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 1,745,093 others

tagged: yourusername & oscarpiastri

charles_leclerc: two kids in one month? someone stop us

view all comments

user142: y/n really lost an apartment and a brother and gained about 27 f1 drivers and a dog

user143: glow up of the century some might say

liked by charles_leclerc

yourusername: soz it's a coping mechanism

charles_leclerc: and that's okay <3

maxverstappen1: anything to help with that emotional CONSTIPATION

yourusername: have you tried to live with those narcissistic and emotionally unavailable men?

maxverstappen1: you're asking the wrong person that question honey

yourusername: girl are WE good?

maxverstappen1: no

yourusername: BUT THAT'S OKAY

charles_leclerc: not to rain on this parade but i think therapy would really be a positive move here

user144: i feel bad for charles cause i know these hoes are the type to just tell each other EXACTLYYYYY when they make poor decisions

maxverstappen1: true, no smart bitches would let their bff live with THAT man

yourusername: and let their bff constantly chat shit and ruin their image

maxverstappen1: can't ruin my image if i'm spitting FACTS

user145: max will nawt let this go

maxverstappen1: i'll forget you but i'll never forgive the smallest man who ever lived

yourusername: GIRL

maxverstappen1: whoops, one sec. spoiler alert: y/n unleased poetry. trigger warning: c*rlos s*inz

olliebearman: ollie bearman erasure

charles_leclerc: GASP OLLIE I AM SO SORRY

yourusername: no he actually is he's crying

charles_leclerc: it's the pregnancy hormones

olliebearman: it's okay i swear

charles_leclerc: I'M A TERRIBLE FATHER

carlossainz55: i could've told you that for free

olliebearman: why are you in our family buisness

user146: charles is channelling all of his carlos rage through ollie oh my

olliebearman: i am a happy conduit for my father who is in the ferrari PR jail

yourusername: can we send carlos here and throw away the key?

user147: charles is really out there like keep my girl's name out of your mouth cause even the bitch who stole your seat for a weekend is my SON

user148: y/n wasn't joking about with this grid domination

user149: but also i'm glad all of this fun stuff is happening amongst all of the shit that's been thrown at her from her family

oscarpiastri: a leclerc and proud (i race like my dad and throw shade like my mum)

yourusername: the best way to be

charles_leclerc: proud of you, you're such a good dog brother :)

oscarpiastri: i've just learnt to be patient after alpine and lando

yourusername: you still took your shoes being leo's personal bathroom really well

oscarpiastri: he's too cute to be mad at

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen, charles_leclerc and 824,109 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: first mother's day with my boys

view all comments

user150: gonna enjoy this super wholesome post before... he... ruins it

user151: manifesting a y/n post without that bitter old hag in the comment section

charles_leclerc: the best mother for our fur baby and our miscellaneous other children

yourusername: only the best with you :(

charles_leclerc: ugh i love you so much

yourusername: i love you even more

user152: they're so fucking cute

user153: damn carlos i too would be angry if my baby sister and my teammate outshined my third PR relationship in six months

user154: the sainz family have generational levels of hating, but one does it for good (poetry) and one does it for bad (anything carlos ever says)

oscarpiastri: happiest mother's day to my grid mum! here's to reading them to filth xx

yourusername: OSC!! i always knew you were my favourite aussie

danielricciardo: did my enchante PR mean nothing?

yourusername: i mean i wear it all of the time... but it's osc ...

danielricciardo: true, i broke my hand before i could even think of accidentally hurting him

user155: also babe is looking so unbothered, moisturised and free we need the skin care routine

oscarpiastri: the tears of carlos sainz

yourusername: and cleansing your life of toxic family members

user156: okay clearly oscar was done with the whole "i'm so chill" bit cause since his adoption by charles and y/n he's been non stop on carlos' neck

oscarpiastri: i'm a ride or die for my mum cry about it

maxverstappen1: as the kids would say ... mother is mothering? @olliebearman did i do it right?

charles_leclerc: stop trying to steal my kids

maxverstappen1: BRO I'M TRYING TO COMPLIMENT YOUR GIRLFRIEND

charles_leclerc: that's literally my job 🤨

yourusername: tbf i'll take as many compliments as i can

charles_leclerc: are mine not enough?

yourusername: when you've got a self esteem this low, you gotta take what you can get

charles_leclerc: oh :(

user157: max and y/n fighting over who trauma dumps more about their upbringing

carlossainz55: this bit is very tiring. you'll be a terrible mother and all these people you think are your friends will drop you as soon as they know who you really are.

yourusername: you done?

carlossainz55: as you loveeeee to point out, i don't have much to lose anymore so i really wouldn't test me

yourusername: trying to make me homeless and stealing all of my money wasn't enough?

carlossainz55: charles will know the truth soon enough and you won't have us to come crying to

yourusername: i'll take those chances thank you

user158: hold ON what do you mean stole all her money

yourusername: i was never allowed my own bank account so all my earnings have gone to them!

user159: okay that's it WE RIDE AT DAWN

fin.

note: oh girl life has been BUSY!!! i just got a new job and have been looking desperately for a flat to move out to. also i've had family visiting and going here, there and everywhere. but i hope you enjoy! this was a lil more light-hearted lol (until the end) so enjoy the addition of the leclerc family lore xx

ALSO i wanted to say a massive THANK YOU FOR 6,000 FOLLOWERS love you all <3

note: hiii extra note from me here. first, i will fix this tag list at some point idk why it's not working rn. secondly, i have been made aware by multiple people that there is a series just like this one down to characters and the name of the series on here and i can't lie i'm bummed about it. as i said on the first part (?) this is an idea i've had since the release of TTPD (and people will back me up on this) so it bums me out that there are blatant copies coming out! i'm all for inspiration but sometimes there's a difference between taking inspo and copying especially when my masterlist was posted ages ago and my first part was posted on the 9th of may.... anyways that's all i have to say! enjoy xx

taglist: in comments!

[bigfatbimbo]

Fiddleford always being hard and having at times pre-cum dripping, almost always in public and trying to hide it so bad. He wants to make it stop, but it doesn't work and he didn't want you to notice and think he's a pervert.

He was thinking about what his ma would think if she saw his bodily reactions and didn't want to disappoint her.

-🌌

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚

Awwwwww the way this would humiliate him completely. This happening in his college days, he already feels ostracized for being some out of place little farm boy, and now he can’t control his body in public? All just because of you?

He should be ashamed of himself. First Mcgucket to go college and he’s making a fool of himself in public because of a stupid little crush. I’d imagine he’d be hesitant to even ‘take care’ of it in the bathroom because, let’s be honest, he probably doesn’t even have that much experience with jerking off. He’d physically recoil if his little problem starts leaving damp spots on the outside of his jeans.

Imagine finally confronting him about it, pulling off to the side, (a dorm room, bathroom, closet, etc), and teasing him for thinking you hadn’t notice. But don’t poke too much fun or he’ll think you want nothing to do with him. He’s not used to that kind of foreplay, and would be hurt. So simply ask if he wants any help. Of course, you could leave him with his pants on, a new pair, you think. Still, all up in his business as he can’t hold back and he cums, ruining his nice jeans. But he whines, and you’re nice.

Make sure to remark about how wet he is for you. God, this little cowboy would have such a good time.

[httpshujii]

@kitorin LOOK AT IT

Cutie-pie of the sea (x)

[weebsinstash]

I've talked about "oooo what about Reader running away from Val" "what about Reader becoming his friend" well what about a Reader who has a smart mouth and a nasty fucking temper that you can't control and Valentino LOVES to keep you around if not purely because you mouth off and give him excuses to punish you, like literally he gets off on knowing you'll just walk right into something he can use as an excuse to fuck with you

You're just serving him drinks, being nice to him, everything is fine, you're behaving, you're getting along, and you roll up your sleeves and he gives you this LOOK, "you're getting muscular, it's not cute, you're too masculine" and you just hit him with "well one of us has to be" and deftly dodging a glass thrown at your head shortly thereafter while he roars at you asking who the fuck you think you are and THEN you just start insulting him for having a short temper

"Awwwwww, lo siento, papi! I didn't mean to make the BIG STRONG MAN soOoOoooOoo mad! Maybe you can snort another rail off a hooker's tits again to cheer yourself up, that ALWAYS works!"

Like genuinely it's like the worst possible form of a customer service job because if you mouth off to him you're not getting FIRED, you're getting TIED UP AND PADDLED until you're crying and whimpering "I'm sorry mister Valentino I promise it won't happen again"

Cut to the next night where he tells you you're putting on too much weight and you can't stop yourself from saying that you could take some of your fat and put it in his ass since he doesn't have one, and the cycle begins anew....

[amphibiahawks321]

M!Reader : Woooooooah....

[Y/N stares around the beautiful forest]'

M!Reader : it's so beautiful....

[Y/N pulls out a notebook from his adventure pack and starts drawing inside it]

......

[Noises start being heard near a bush]'

M!Reader : !!!!!!'

[The bush starts shaking]'

M!Reader : Hello?

[The bush starts shaking even more startling Y/N]

M!Reader : .......

[A tiny bunny hops out of the bush]'

M!Reader : ......

M!Reader : Awwwwww! Now How can I NOT pet that!

[Y/N put his notebook back into his adventure pack and walked up to the bunny and starts petting it]

M!Reader : This forest is seriously the beautifulest!

M!Reader : Especially with you around here little guy!

[The bunny starts leaning into the touch]

M!Reader : Awwww!

M!Reader : But... I seriously can't be here for too long... I do NOT want to mess with that tree guard... I'll see you soon little guy.... Maybe next time I'll bring you some carr-

[A winged shadow starts appearing behind him]

M!Reader : Huh? When did the sun-!!!?!?!!

[Y/N looked up behind him and sees maleficent floating Infront of him with a not so pleased expression]

M!Reader : Oh....My.....Pixies

[Maleficent floats down and stares at him still with a not so pleased expression]

[M!Reader thought 💭]

Oh my g-gosh she's tall.....

M!Reader : Y-y-your t-t-THE m-maleficent!

Maleficent : And you're an uninvited guest...

[Maleficent starts walking up to Y/N]'

M!Reader : W-wait! I didn't mean to-

[Maleficent starts gripping Y/N's hand]'

M!Reader : Hey! Ow! I thought you weren't so evil anymore!

Maleficent : And you assume I wouldn't be angry if I found someone sneaking in and starts writing something about my forest......

M!Reader : ......

M!Reader : Okay fair point....

M!Reader : but I swear I wasn't doing anything bad! I just wanted to see what the forest here looks like! And I-

[Maleficent drags Y/N to a nearby tree grabs his head pins it to the tree]

M!Reader : Ouch!

[Maleficent walked to him from behind bends down a little and leans into his ear]

Maleficent : if you ever tried to sneak in again... Things... Will... Get.... Ugly....

M!Reader : ......

M!Reader blushing : ......

Maleficent : .....

Maleficent : Are you.... Blushing?

M!Reader blushing : you're literally a tall woman with horns, wings and wearing lipstick that is pinning me Against a tree how do you think I should react!

[Maleficent stops pinning his head against the wall]

Maleficent : Why are you here.... Speak now...

Maleficent : Are you here to destroy my kingdom...

M!Reader : N-No! Not at all! I just wanted to check out the forest near your kingdom!

Maleficent : Then why did you sneak in....

M!Reader : Have you seen your tree guard? That thing is TERRIFYING looking!

Maleficent : Then why are you here to check my forest... There's gotta be another motive...

M!Reader : There really isn't! Here check my notebook!

[Y/N pulls out his notebook and gives it to her]

Maleficent : .....

[Maleficent opens his notebook and sees drawings of the trees, the tree guard, other creatures and ......Herself?]

Maleficent : Hm.... drawing?

M!Reader : Y-Yeah... Not really good but it's bearable...

Maleficent : You certainly are... You draw my left horn a little bit longer...

M!Reader blushing : Hehe I told you I wasn't that good....

Maleficent : .....

[Maleficent slams the notebook into Y/N's chest]

M!Reader : Ough!

Maleficent : You can continue if you want to...

M!Reader : Wait really!?

Maleficent : You want me to take my words back....

M!Reader : No! no!

Maleficent : What I thought...

M!Reader : Thank you! Male-..... Ummm... Is it okay if I call you-

Maleficent : Yes....

M!Reader : T-thank you maleficent... But I think it's time for me to go back... I've been here for quite a long time now...

Maleficent : agreed.... But... Before you go.... I must say....

M!Reader : ???

[Maleficent grabs his under chin and lifts it up to make proper eye contact]

Maleficent : You're definitely an odd one...

M!Reader : ......

M!Reader blushing : T-thank you?

Maleficent : Your face is blushing again-

M!Reader blushing : OOKAY! I think it's time for me to go now! I'll definitely come back again when I get the chance! Later!

[Y/N leaves while still flustered]'

[M!Reader thought 💭]

Ohmygosh Ohmygosh Ohmygosh Ohmygosh Ohmygosh Ohmygosh Ohmygosh OHMYGOSH! DID THAT SERIOUSLY JUST HAPPENED!?

Maleficent : .....

Maleficent : Chuckles a strange one indeed...