#SORRY IF THIS IS DISAPPOINTING IM SO TIRED BUT FELT BAD PUTTING IT OFF ANY LONGER.... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

almostvermin · 9 months ago

Text

ALRIGHT TIME TO REPLY FOR REAL.

HI HELLO!!! (@lizbii, @written-by-kafka) it's below the cut,, ofc /no pressure if you don't have the time or mental energy!! im open to all criticism if you have any but also if you just wanna rate it out of 5 that's chill too!! there might be typos and grammar errors but i'm gonna fix those later!!! also it's not formatted for tumblr.. sorry...

tw for a lot of self-hatred, parents not parenting well, and a lot of swearing!!! (+ ooc shinodad)

wip

A/N: btw when I wrote this, I thought it was canon that Shinodad divorced Ena’s mother then married Akito’s, who died when he was 4, then remarried Ena’s mother, who died a little later on. That is Not Canon. I don’t know why I thought that was canon. I don’t even know where I heard that. In canon, Shinomom is in the picture and really nice. Idk man, but there’s a few references to that in here, so let’s just say it’s an AU or something.

-----

He’d been putting it off for days. It was far too daunting to even try and start.

He knew that made him a dissapointment. He couldn’t care. He’d just stay up all night the night before.

The morning of, the homework remained unfinished. He hadn’t slept, he’d wanted to do it, but he couldn’t. He didn’t know what it was, but it was paralysing. Laziness, he presumed.

Everyone else could do it. He guessed that made them stronger than him. He guessed that made him weak.

Not like he didn’t know that already.

He was tired. So fucking tired. Mentally, physically, he couldn’t tell. But he had to get up. He had to make it to school. Nene had wanted to tell him about that game she’d gotten. He couldn’t disappoint her. (Why she’d want to talk to him of all people about that, he didn’t know. Presumably as a substitute for Toya, as they were in different classes now.)

-----

He made it, presentable enough. His tie was on wrong, Nene pointed out, before launching into a brief lecture on the game. Slime Rancher? Who’d eat slime, let alone put ranch on it? He fixed his tie, watching his reflection in the window as he nodded along to Nene’s monologue.

20 minutes later, there was a teacher standing in front of his desk, hand held out for missing homework.

“Shihonome.”

Akito didn’t look up.

“Again?”

Akito didn’t look up.

“Why not?”

“I didn’t see a reason too.” A blatant lie. But no-one needed to know that.

A sigh. “This is the fourth time this term.”

“I thought it was more.”

“I’m going to have to write you up.”

“I know.” He still didn’t look up.

Another sigh. The words were whispered this time, presumably intended to stay in the teacher’s head, but they would spin in Akito’s for a long time afterwards. “Useless kid.”

He stood up, picked up his bag, and left the room.

No-one said anything. No-one stopped him. No-one even asked why. Why would they? Not the first time that had happened.

-----

He shoved open the door. It was always stiff, but somehow he felt it was worse that day. He’d taken his keys with him, they were in him pocket, but he’d forgotten to lock it. Oh well. Ena was probably fine. He couldn’t bring himself to care in that moment. He’d regret that in a few hours.

He ran straight to his room, pushed past the door on his shoulder, dumped his bag by the foot of his bed, and fell directly onto his pillow face down.

He immideatly got up and started pacing around his room. His thoughts were too much to stay still.

Did you not hear the teacher? Useless kid.

I’m not useless, he wanted to shout. I can do things, I just don’t try.

You’re lying to yourself. You can’t get out of bed, can’t be motivated to do things, can’t understand them when you do try. Can’t do basic person things, like make yourself food or keep track of time. Can’t keep track of money. You wouldn’t survive without Ena, and you can’t even be grateful for it.

He didn’t have a response for that.

if you’re bad at being a person, you’re probably a bad person too.

Y’know, there’s proof for that.

What proof?, he wanted to scream. Please, tell me, what’s proving that I’m so bad at everything?

You have to force yourself to be kind. That’s not normal. And it doesn’t even work. You can’t tell what people are feeling, you don’t know how to comfort people - you’re a bad person, and a bad friend.

He didn’t have a response for that either.

He punched his bed instead. Twice. Three times. Didn’t Toya say there was a word for that in English? Shit, you can’t even remember what Toya told you. How bad of a friend are you?

No. Feeding into the voices was the wrong way to go about it.

Oh, but how he wanted to.

He was so tired. He couldn’t last forever, right?

So he gave in. (Pathetic) Set an alarm for 12:10, which would give him enough time to get to school for lunch, to meet Toya. (An would cover for him if he was late, even then, and wouldn’t tell him about his disappearance. Lucky that Toya wasn’t in his morning lessons. He’d never need to know. He’d be so disappointed.) Got changed. Took out his contacts - if he slept with them in again, he might just actually claw out his eyes.

It’s 9:30 am, for fuck’s sake. More proof you’re not normal. Good people are awake - AT SCHOOL - at this time.

“Shut it,” he whispered through gritted teeth. The voices were so loud that there was no room for him, forcing his words into the real world.

You could at least get schoolwork done now. Or clean your room. You could go to the SEKAI. But no, you’re going to be selfish and sleep. You sleep a normal amount. You don’t need more. What’s the fucking point of skipping if you’re not even going to try to catch up on other things?

He was lying on his bed by that point, staring up at the ceiling. He knew he couldn’t do those things. Some kind of mental block.

What kind of weakling, wimp, blamed laziness on a mental block? You fucking waste of space. If Toya knew about this, he’d abandon you. They don’t need you, after all. Weakest link.

The tears weren’t gonna stop now. He wouldn’t admit that, even to himself, let alone to the voices. Who the hell cries over the truth? He remembered what his dad had told him, when he came out last year. A sentiment he’d carried with him ever since.

“You must learn to be strong. You can’t be weak anymore.”

No. He didn’t deserve to be weak. He couldn’t be weak. He had to be strong. (Something in him whispered that he had to be strong for Ena, Airi made him promise. But that string of thought got lost quickly in the ever-growing spider-web that formed his emotions.)

You can’t be unpopular and cry whenever you’re shouted at in the corridors. You can’t have an absent dad, two dead mothers, a questionable relationship with your sister, and not be able to rely on yourself. You can’t be trans and snap when it’s used against you. You can’t be the worst on your team and break under criticism.

You can’t be weak.

He couldn’t tell what were the voices and what he really believed.

But with those endless thoughts swelling in his mind, he fell asleep.

-----

It felt sharp, and painful, as the alarm rang out. He sat up, but the heavy weight in his chest forced him down again.

No fucking way would he get to school, be able to talk to people, and deal with class.

If you weren’t so weak, that wouldn’t be a problem. Disgrace.

So the voices were still there. Great.

He pictured Toya, waiting for him at lunch. An would cover, right?

He wouldn’t be too sad, right?

He couldn’t think about it for too long.

Don’t mope. Set an alarm and be done with it.

For once, he agreed with the voices. 5:10. Enough time to get dressed and make it to practice without hurting anyone more.

He rolled over and tried not to cry as he imagined what Toya would say.

-----

It sounded out again.

The weight had moved from his chest to his head. He could deal with that.

He got up, got dressed - normally he’d pick out clothes specifically for practice but today he just threw on whatever (grey cargo wide-leg jeans, an oversized graphic tee and a dark grey hoodie, with just one necklace, the one with a topaz (or was it citrine?) that mizuki gave him.) - didn’t even brush his hair, or put in his contacts, and no makeup. Too tired, despite sleeping all day.

At least you know how pathetic you sound now.

“Shut it.” he whispered, addressed to the air.

He trudged downstairs, feeling his phone buzz in his pocket but leaving it. He wasn’t talking to anyone before downing either a shot or and energy drink.

Searching in the fridge, he decided on energy drink, grabbing at the neon green can and relishing the burn as the cool liquid fell down his throat. He gulped at it as if it was the first thing he’d drank all day - then he realised it was. He should probably eat something, now that he thought about it.

Whatever. Who cared.

“Akito?”

He jumped. “Shit, Ena, you scared me-“

“The fuck are you doing?” she glared at him. “Did you just get back from practice?”

Was it that late? He glanced at the clock on the wall - no, it was 5:20. He normally got back about 2am.

“If you just got back - shiiit, I’m late.” Worry began to seep into her voice.

“Yeah, you better get going.”

What a shitty “brother”. Just tell her she woke up early.

He watched as she ran around in a panic, shouting something or other. Maybe the brains-worms were right, sometimes-

“I’m kidding, Ena. You woke up early. I’m just heading out.”

She looked up. He expected her to be relieved, but fury filled her eyes.

“You fucking- I’m GOING to kill you someday.” She rose, stepping towards him.

“Shi-it, didn’t realise it meant that much t’ya, gonna go now, bye!” He hopped over a coat lying by the door, pulled at the handle, and swore, remembering his keys were still upstairs, in his school blazer pocket. “Correction: gonna grab my keys then go.”

She slapped him across the face as he walked past. “Bastard.”

“Love you too, Ena.”

“Suck a dick.”

He practically sprinted out the door, only getting a glance of his reflection as he passed a car - it was already beginning to bruise.

Are you going to reply to those notifications?

Fuck.

VBS!!

--5:12 pm --

cunt: practice on today? vivid street?

sunflower: Yep! Can’t wait! 💕💕

sappy bitch: I can be there in 10.

cunt: wait until akito responds.

Cunt: @/bastard

-- 5:16 pm --

cunt: @/bastard

-- 5:23 pm --

cunt: @/bastard

you: great name for me you have saved

Cunt: and yours for me is?

You: accurate. (Its cunt)

(Cunt reacted: angry face)

Cunt: are you coming or not

You: I’ll be there.

-- 5:23 pm --

cunt: are you sure youre alright to come

You: yeah y

Cunt: given you disappeared what 10 min into school

Cunt: normally you’re back by lunch

You: I fell asleep

Cunt: thank fuck you need to sleep more

You: I’m fine

Cunt: try telling toya that after you didn’t even greet him when you came in

-- 5:24 pm --

Cunt: don’t fucking storm off we’re just worried bout you

-- 5:25 pm --

Cunt: akito seriously

Cunt: what the fuck dude

-- 5:28 pm --

You: did you lock the fucking door

Cunt: what

You: im here

Cunt: one sec

He heard An almost topple down the stairs to grab the door. He heard Ken yell, “Who is it?” and An’s reply of “Akito!” before the clicking of the lock and An’s startled expression.

“Whoa, dude.”

-----

He’d waited for An to get changed before they headed down to meet the others. Apparently, he looked more shit than he felt. She hadn’t said anything yet, but he could feel her eyeing up the bruise from his and Ena’s spat. She knew how bad it could get, and didn’t want to push him, he presumed.

Then she broke the silence. “Are you wearing glasses?”

“What?” He turned to face her, confused. “Yeah?”

“Oh, that’s so cute. Toya’s gonna-”

He snorted, cutting her off. “As if.”

“No, dude! He’ll short-circuit.” An kept moving, while he stopped in his tracks.

“Akito?”

“Did you just call me cute?”

“I-“ She froze.

He laughed, catching up to her. “I’ll kill you someday.”

Her face was redder than usual. He tried not to think too much of it. If he did, he’d be just as red as An.

They walked in silence until they reached Vivid Street.

Toya did not short-circuit. He started plotting a murder.

“Aoyagi! They’re here!” Kohane tugged at the tall boy’s sleeve, waving at An. “We can get started!”

“Calm, Azusawa. Hello, Shiriashi, Akito.”

They both saw the same thing at once.

“Shihonome, are you alright?” Kohane tilted her head.

Toya was already worried. His partner hadn’t spoken to him once that day. He didn’t want to push, but this was the last straw.

“You and me need to talk.” He walked past Akito, grabbing onto the grey hood of his jumper as he walked past.

“What- holy shit, Toya.” Akito stumbled backwards, almost hopping. “Let go, damn.” Upon regaining his balance, he spun on his heel, following Toya behind a corner out of sight - but likely not earshot - of the other two.

“Toya, what-“

“Who did this?”

“What, this?” The ginger gestured vaguely at the bruise. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing. If your father did something-“

“-he didn’t-”

”-alright, but you weren’t in school today. And look at you. You’re tired, injured, and avoiding the topic.” He squinted, looking closer at Akito’s face. “Have you been crying?”

“What?” He was on his heels, ready to step back. “No, Toya, why-“ he sighed. “Listen, I’m fine now, ok?”

“No, you’re not.” The taller boy put it simply. “Something’s going on. Please, talk to me, Akito.”

He knew he wasn’t getting out of this one. Toya wouldn’t keep pushing if he asked him not to, but something in him wanted to give in. His hard-built walls wouldn’t stand forever.

But he needed them to stay up, just for the rest of practice.

“Later, okay?”

Toya did not look happy about it, but he nodded.

They returned to the group. An quietly raised an eyebrow at Akito, who shrugged back at her.

“Shinonome, are you sure you’re up for practice?” Kohane looked up at him, her big brown eyes full of concern.

He looked down, surprised. “What? I’m fine, Kohane.”

“Stop fucking saying that, man!” An came up behind him, slinging an arm over his shoulder. “We all know it’s bullshit.”

He flinched away from An, avoiding her gaze. “I am fine, though.”

“No!” He was a little surprised by Kohane’s exclamation. “Your hair has grown out almost 3 centimetres, you normally re-dye it after about 2 and a half. You’re wearing glasses, which you never do unless you’re really tired, and even then, you always wear contacts at practice and shows. You normally use makeup to cover up the dark spots under your eyes, and I would guess marks like that bruise, but you didn’t! Your clothes always go together perfectly, and you always seem happier in your own clothes rather than school uniform, but you don’t seem happy today and you’re not wearing any bright colours at all. That all means you’re not okay!” The small girl took a breath, seemingly having exhausted her lungs. “You don’t seem like you,” she finished.

Toya hummed in agreement, as the other two stared, dumbfounded.

“I couldn’t have put it better myself.”, he decided.

An, however, was more confused. “How in the hell did you pick up on that much?”

Akito shook his head. “I didn’t pick up on that much.”

“HAH! So you admit, you’re not fine!” She was far more triumphant than she should’ve been.

“No, I’m- ugh. Let’s just start practice.”

The other three had some sort of silent discussion.

“Fine.” An announced their verdict. “But we’re stopping early. I have chores anyway.”

Bullshit. Ken was doing them.

He didn’t say anything, though.

The music started, from Kohane’s phone. He couldn’t afford to disappoint them further - he couldn’t afford to be sloppy. He pushed through, fatigue hitting him with every step, but he grit his teeth and kept going. He had to sing now, didn’t he? What were the words? He forced his mouth open, hoping they would come, but his voice wouldn’t work. Black spots danced in his vision.

Shit.

And then the ground met his face.

-----

His vision was swimming in and out of focus.

“-elp for-“ An was sprinting away. Part of him wanted to reach out, yell ‘Don’t go!’, but that was selfish. His voice didn’t work anyway.

“-nome!“ Kohane was crouching next to him, a worried furrow in her brow, watching An go. She looked down.

“Akito?”

She used the first name. He must really look like shit.

“Are you awake?”

“Mmhm.” He couldn’t quite form words. He wanted to tell them to carry on with practice, not to bother with him, he could deal with himself, might as well leave him here. But he couldn’t. And they wouldn’t anyway. He didn’t know if he loved or hated them for that.

Love? God, you’re pathetic.

“Good. Do you think you could sit up?”

“Mmmmayybee.” He squinted, as Kohane started to merge with the sky again. It was dark and cloudy, almost as if a storm was brewing. Not helpful.

“Aoyagi? Could you..,” she gestured to the mess that was Akito. Toya nodded, and the two helped him sit up against the wall. Even that was enough to have him shiver against the effort.

Kohane stood up. “Okay, stay here. An-chan went to go tell Shirashi-san about this.”

“Waaaait,” Akito grabbed at her sleeve and missed by almost 10 centimetres. “Why is An talking to herself? And couldn’t she do that here?” His head fell onto Toya’s shoulder.

“He’s delirious,” the taller boy informed Kohane. “I’ll take care of him.”

“Okay. I’m going to go update them, and then we’ll get you home, Shinonome!” She smiled and jogged off. The smile that could take on the world, at least Akito thought so

To the ginger, Toya explained: “Shirashi is talking to her father, Shirashi.”

“An is her own father?”

“No I-“

“Wouldn’t she be a mother?” He giggled. “Didn’t Kohane say we would make great dads one time?”

Toya sighed, cheeks slightly pink. “I suppose she did.”

“Where did Kohane go?”

“To update Shirashi and Shirashi.”

Akito’s head jumped upwards. “There’s two Ans?”

“No, Shirashi An and Shirashi Ken. Different people.” The frustration was creeping into Toya’s voice now. He took a deep breath, trying to remain level, but he was never good at giving instructions.

“Wait, THE Shirashi Ken? The music artist?” Akito looked genuinely excited. “Can we meet him?”

“Not right now, partner.” Toya glanced at the partner in question, regretting it immediately, as Akito’s deflated expression made him feel as though there was barbed wire cutting into his throat. “We’ll come back and see him later. He’s always here.”

“Oh. Alright, then.” Akito yawned, somewhat contented. He flopped his head back onto Toya’s shoulder. “I might just.. nap a little.”

He was out in 10 seconds flat.

Toya looked up at the graffitied wall, and wished that this moment would last forever. Just when Akito wasn’t refusing to talk to him about a clear problem. And maybe inside, though he didn’t want to be too demanding.

-----

Akito fell asleep on Toya’s shoulder. He woke up in An’s arms.

Specifically, she was carrying him. Bridal style.

It took him almost a minute to figure out what was going on. And An was so strong? He almost wanted to just let her carry him. But he couldn’t. He’d already hurt her enough by messing up practice.

“An.”

She glanced down. “Hey.”

“Put me down.“

She raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure you can walk?”

“Yes! Put me down right fucking now or I swear to Miku-“

“Fine, fine, if you’re gonna take her name in vain.” She considered dropping him, but she put him down normally. He wobbled, but he was fine after 2 or 3 steps.

“D’ya want me to walk back to your house with you?”

“No. It’s fine.” He glanced back at her. “By the way, I’m sorry I ruined practice. Don’t feel like you need to look after me or anything.”

An stared at him blankly. “Akito, we can practice another time. You come first. And we don’t mind taking care of you whatsoever-“

“Don’t lie to me. If I’m being a burden, tell me to fuck off. Don’t,” he gestured in the direction of Vivid Street, “enable me, or whatever you did back there.”

She stepped towards him, concern leaking through her face. “You’re not being a burden, you’re ill! There’s a fucking difference! We’re not gonna tell you to ‘fuck off’,” she put air quotes around the words, “for anything, let alone this! Akito-“

“I’m not ill.” he took a step back, hissing as An put a cold hand on his forehead.

“You have a temperature. You fainted. You’re ill.”

“I didn’t faint, I-“ he shrugged, and turned to walk away.

“Akito, where’s this come from?”

“Huh?”

“Why do you think you need to be so independent?” She pressed. “You don’t. We’re here for you, you can rely on us-“

“Not the point. I’m going. Didn’t you say you had chores to do?”

An’s face lit up at the white lie. “Wait-“

“Don’t follow me. I’ll know.” He called out behind him.

He heard An sigh and turn around. After passing the corner, though, he spied for a few minutes to see if she came back. Could’ve been a few seconds, if he was being honest. He was impatient.

-----

He didn’t lock the door behind him when he left. It’s fine. Probably.

He checked his phone again, spotting an absurd number of notifications.

-- 5:31 pm --

Dad: 6 missed calls.

Dad: call me back.

-- 5:46 pm --

sappy bitch: did you get home safe? Shirashi said you left her halfway.

Cunt: you home yet

Oh, you fucked up big time.

For once, he agreed with the voice. It had been almost 20 minutes - Dad would be simmering with rage about whatever he deemed worth calling his son about. It was never anything good.

The phone rang ominously as he paced the kitchen. He’d rather do this downstairs so he was less likely to wake up Ena.

“Shinonome Senshi speaking, I’m currently occupied. Leave a message.”

“He-ey Dad, it’s Akito. You wanted me to call you back about something? Uh, let me know when you’re free, I guess.”

He hit the hang up button.

The phone rang again less that 20 seconds later.

“Ahem.”

“Dad, hey.”

“I received an email about you, from the school.”

Shit.

“Do you know what this is about?”

“Uh, not sure.”

“You have missed out on enough credits that you are no longer on course to graduate, if this keeps up.”

“Ah.”

“I’m spending a lot of money on your education, you know.”

“I’m sorry, Dad- I didn’t know it had got that bad-“

“It should not have gotten anywhere near this.”, he hissed through the phone, wrath filling every inch of a room he wasn’t even in.

“Well, I’m fucking trying! I don’t know what more you want from me, I can’t just magic more intelligence.”

“Do not swear at me.”

“Right, sorry-“

“You’re going to end up nowhere at this rate.”

“I- “

“Don’t make excuses. Are you trying to destroy my reputation? Again? I don’t need two dau- uh, children who’ll end up nowhere!”

“How dare you talk about Ena like that-“

“Don’t refuse the truth. You’re both worthless. I’ll tell you the same thing I told her - either put in some fucking effort or find a plan b.”

“Well, I-“

“Don’t tell me, you think your stupid band is going to take off? That’s never going to happen. You’re talentless, just like your sister.”

“She is not talentless, she’s-“

“Even if you’re convinced on her, that leaves you. You’re nothing like her. You love trying to prove that to me, don’t you, Akito?”

He flinched at the detest leaking from his own name.

“Try harder.”

His dad hung up.

You know, everything he said was right.

“Akito?”

He jumped. “Ena-“

Guess she woke up anyway. More ways you’ve hurt her.

“I’m sorry about him.”

“Did you tell him about..”

“Your band? Yeah. I’m sorry - I thought he’d be proud for once.”

“Why?” He laughed dryly. “I’ll never earn his respect. He can’t handle the idea that I’m not a perfect copy of Mom.”

“Same here.”

They stood in silence for a few seconds. It was the first time either of them had mentioned their mothers in years.

“He tried to email Shirashi Ken, he’s the guy who’s promoting you, right?” Ena sighed, staring at her hands. “Wanted to get him to drop you.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

“Fuckin- well, we already know he’s a bastard. Now that you mention it, Ken-san did mention someone trying to get him to.. oh. He wouldn’t tell me who.”

The tears were coming now, but he couldn’t cry in front of Ena. “I’m going to my room.”

“Oh. Okay.”

-----

He threw his phone across, the room, leaving a dent in the wall across from his door.

He shoved the door closed, leaning on it with his back and slowly sinking to the ground. The phone was blowing up now - messages from during the call were coming in.

He sat for a minute, before fumbling for the glowing screen, swimming in his vision.

-- 5:46 pm --

sappy bitch: did you get home safe? Shirashi said you left her halfway.

Cunt: you home yet

-- 5:51 pm --

Cunt: don’t fucking ignore me bitch not after today

-- 5:53 pm —

Cunt: reply to toya at least

Sappy bitch: are you ok?

Sunflower: akito-san, are you alright?

-- 5:56 pm --

Sappy bitch: akito, please tell me you’re safe.

Sappy bitch: you’re welcome to come to mine if you’re lonely.

-- 5:57 pm --

Sappy bitch: is this because I made you promise to talk? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.

Cunt: youre making toya upset dont give him the cold shoulder because youre too much of a coward to ask for help

Cunt: that was harsh sorry. (Toyas making me say this)

-- 5:58 pm --

Sunflower: we’re all very worried for you, we hope you’re ok.

-- 6:00 pm --

Sappy bitch: I’m sorry, akito. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, but I’m here if you do. Please, just tell us that you’re ok.

-- 6:01 pm —

Cunt: if youre dead im not going to you funeral because of this.

It was 6:07 pm. Shit.

Look at you. All you do is hurt others - it’s expected with Dad, but Ena and those you supposedly hold most dear? That’s pathetic. They *worry* about you. How sweet.

You don’t need concern. That makes you weak. You can’t be weak.

Well, he was sure as hell weak now. And no amount of thoughts would change that.

He had to fix the damage best he could, though.

VBS!!

You: I’ll be there

-- 6:07 pm —

You: guys my phone just died on the way back I’m fine lmao

Sunflower: that’s a relief!! Glad you’re safe!!

(Cunt reacted: finger pointing up)

Sappy bitch: did you see my other messages?

You: yeah I’ll reply in one sec

toya

-- 5:46 pm --

sappy bitch: did you get home safe? Shirashi said you left her halfway.

-- 5:53 pm —

Sappy bitch: are you ok?

-- 5:56 pm --

Sappy bitch: akito, please tell me you’re safe.

Sappy bitch: you’re welcome to come to mine if you’re lonely.

-- 5:57 pm --

Sappy bitch: is this because I made you promise to talk? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.

-- 6:00 pm --

Sappy bitch: I’m sorry, akito. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, but I’m here if you do. Please, just tell us that you’re ok.

--6:07 pm --

You: im heading over now

He typed it without thinking. But he knew he wanted too.

Is it really ok? You know about Toya’s parents. They’ll kill him. Do you really want to put him in that situation? That’s so fucking selfish. You should die. Kill yourself.

Great. His brain-worms were resorting to COD lobby insults.

“C’mon, think of something better.” He murmured, picking himself up off the ground, stomping down the stairs.

“ENA! HEADING OUT!” He yelled behind him, ignoring how Ena’s reply of “OK” sounded suspiciously like she had been crying.

--6:08 pm --

Sappy bitch: ok. You know which one’s my window, right?

(you reacted: thumbs up)

Sappy bitch: see you soon.

The window. Of fucking course. He really was an idiot, huh?

-----

He tapped on the glass. The deep purple curtain was shut, and the crisp cold was biting at his neck - a wind had picked up, funnelling fast through the street behind the Aoyagi house.

The curtain was pulled back by what at first appeared to be a disembodied hand, but was in fact Toya, who opened the sliding door from the inside.

“It was unlocked. I always leave it unlocked for you.”

“I forgot.” Akito mumbled, shuffling into the warmth. He met Toya’s eyes as the door fell shut behind him, and felt a stab through the heart as the concern practically melted off the taller boy. Tears sprung back into his vision as Toya embraced him, and the two sank into the mess of blankets and jumpers also known as Toya’s bed.

He didn’t care anymore. He was neck deep in a sea of dispair, clinging to the life raft that was his partner.

He won’t define it like you want to.

An was right - he was ill, for fuck’s sake, trapped in an endless cycle of heat and shivering, tired out of his mind, and trying not to cry knowing just how disappointed his father was in him. He was allowed to be needy.

But it felt so bad. So wrong. So selfish.

Toya stroked through Akito’s ginger hair as he sobbed into his own jumper, but adorned by the calmer of the two.

“Do you want to talk, or do you want me to just be here?”

And it all came spilling out, like a pot put to boil for far too long. Every thought, every event, every brain-worm - all meeting Toya’s ears. Even things he’d barely admitted to himself - how he thought of himself by his dead name; felt like a little girl playing dress-up in Airi’s clothes all over again whenever he stepped on stage; how he heard his dad hesitate before addressing him; how he felt like he couldn’t be two ‘bad’ things at once, like being the worst on the team and bringing in hate due to simply who he was; how he used to be numb to criticism but after a while pins and needles stop pricking at your skin and plunge into your heart; how he couldn’t smile on cue because he never had a chance to learn when he was younger; the whispered slurs and insults that reached his ear in the school corridors; how he’d learnt to rely on himself but when he couldn’t he didn’t know where to turn; how he felt helpless to stop Ena’s spiralling let alone his own. He even mentioned how he was scared that Toya didn’t even care of him at all, (let alone in the same way,) despite how irrational it was.

Toya listened, through all of it, until that last point.

“You think I don’t care?”

“I- I don’t know, man.” His voice broke, and he laughed dryly, though it may have been a sob. “I can’t tell what’s for show and what’s real. What’s you trying to use my connections and what’s.. y’know, us.”

“It was all real, Akito.”

“That’s not true.”

“I’m the guy who doesn’t understand sarcasm and went bright red when I tried to lie to you about spending lunch with Tsukasa for one day. I don’t fake things.”

Akito stared up at him. Yeah, there was no way this guy could possibly lie to him. Not like he could lie to Toya, either.

He wanted to stop lying to himself, too.

“Are we friends, Toya?”

“I- I would say so, yes.” “Do you want to be friends?”

“Of course.”

He sighed. “Let me rephrase. We’re singing partners, yeah?”

“Yes.” Toya looked sincerely confused by this point.

“Would you ever want to be partner in, y’know, a different way?”

He could see the gears turning in his head. Then a light lit up, and it was apparently neon red.

“Akito, I- uhm. I’m flattered, I-“

“Yes or no. Simple answer. No, things go back to how they were. Yes, we figure it out from there.”

“Yes.” It was quiet, but certain. A yes that would be repeated a thousand times in the future, at every do you love me? and can I come over? and do you actually want to be with me? A yes that meant yes, not a maybe or an I’ll think about it or an I’m not sure. It was a yes that had been on the tip of his tongue for weeks, if not months.

Akito would question that yes a million times more than he’d ever ask about it. He would fall asleep wondering if his boyfriend was only that because he felt he had to be. But in that moment, he knew exactly what he wanted, and what Toya wanted too.

He kissed him.

Plain and simple, you’d think.

It was like the fuse to a firecracker had been burning for so long, he’d forgotten about it, but now it’d exploded, filling him with something warm and fiery and fierce. Those embers flew between them in a way they’d only ever done as they sang, but so much more, filling the room with the heat of a thousand suns. Not great for his fever, but who gave a shit?

An’s going to kill you. You’ll be so distracted in practice and school. You’re not even out as gay. What about his parents? Don’t you ever think about anyone else? Are you really ok with doing this?

He’d just kissed Toya Aoyagi. He was far more than ok with that.

This was most certainly a reason to keep going. And that gave him hope. Hope that maybe, he had a future, even if it only extended into next week.

Delirious and about to pass out, one last thought crossed his mind. He supposed, in a metaphorical sense, that he’d always had seeds of hope. Enough for a garden, one he could grow all by himself. Over the years, those had slowly fallen out of the bag or died in the soil. He’d planted the last one with Toya. He’d been expecting a tree to launch out of the ground, faster than life, but nothing had happened. He’d hung onto this lost cause seed, watering it every day. It seemed that now, it had begun to sprout. Love and hope take time, he supposed. Relying on someone was even harder. But, maybe, he could still grow that garden. He needed to look for the seed labelled ‘Ena’. No, first properly plant the ones called ‘An’ and ‘Kohane’, rather than just throw them at the ground. Then maybe ’Nene’. Toya liked her, after all. He’d work his way up to the one sitting at the very bottom of the bag. The one called ‘Dad’. He smiled at the idea - unlikely, but possible.

It was a long thought.

Then he passed out.

aaanyone wanna proofread my pjsk wip....

#ramblings #pjsk posting #my words

17 notes · View notes

calm-me-down-oh · 5 years ago

Note

1, 5, 7, 12, 15, 16, 27, 31, 36, 37, 46, 48

under readmore bc its long!!

1. Would you rather be blindfolded or blindfold me?

mm either is good but when i was w my ex i asked them to try blindfolding me. we never got around to trying it tho

5. Which part of your body do you consider the most sexy?

um.. idk hgbfdh sometimes i can get my thighs to look ok in a kinda sexy way ig

7. Who do you fantasize about when you’re alone?

@you-better-make-me

12. When was the first time you masturbated?

um, like, ever, or like in a way that actually felt good? bc i went thru a bunch of stuff when i was younger that led to ppl telling me to masturbate and it never felt good bc i had NO idea what i was doing and they certainly were more focused on their pleasure. but when i actually figured out how to get it to feel good i was like. 16?? in the bath. and i discovered my clit sfhskdjf

15. Do you sleep in pajamas, underwear, or nothing at all?

pyjamas! tho if its summer then sometimes jus boxers

16. If you had a sexual “to-do” list, what would be on top of the list?

can i just say @you-better-make-me skdfsdkj okk being serious tho it sounds dumb n simple maybe but i really wanna try penetrative sex bc i haven’t done it yet and its something i just LOVE the idea of even if its also a lil scary

27. Something that never fails to make you horny:

hickies / my neck being bitten, im a simple man

31. Whats the fastest way to make you horny?

see above

36. Three spots that drive me insane:

like? that its easy to make me horny messing w?? my neck, my nips, and idk my clit or if thats not allowed then my hips

37. Do you like it when your sexual partner moans?

absolutely 100% if we’re in a situation where we dont have to worry abt being quiet do not hold back its super hot and also lets me know im doing the right thing shfdsjk

46. Spanking: turn on or turn off?

unpopular onion mayb but more of a turn off tbh idk i get weird abt my ass being touched sometimes especially like that and theres no appeal to doing it to someone else either really

48. Biggest sexual fantasy?

oof im.. very tired so this isnt gonna be super in depth but i guess lately its been a lot of, being collared, a lot of taking ur time, mayb some cockwarming like jus,,, sit there and cuddle and make out and mayb some teasing till we finally give in and jus fuck and yknow,, mayb repeat that process,, sksdjs sorry this is super vague im v tired and not all that horny rn so its hard to think abt but also like if u wanna know what i wanna do theres a whole bunch of posts on this blog most of them are that. yeah

#SORRY IF THIS IS DISAPPOINTING IM SO TIRED BUT FELT BAD PUTTING IT OFF ANY LONGER....#Anonymous

1 note · View note

henrycavillobsessed · 3 years ago

Note

Hi - may I ask for an angsty one with Henry Cavill x girlfriend reader: During an evening walk with Kal, she gets attacked by a mugger. Struggling defending herself and Kal, she gets stabbed in the gut, but is so lost on her adrenaline rush she do not even notice! Fleeing the scene, she hurries home with Kal off leash. Already at the door, Henry sees that something is seriously wrong! Excessive use of the words "Im fine" and "Tend to Kal instead", before reader simply faints in the hallway...

It's been a while since I've written anything, so I was incredibly grateful for this request! I hope you don't mind, but I've written this as a Henry AU - Detective!Henry - with multiple parts, as I wanted to expand the story further. Thanks again for your request, part one is below! :)

Dark Side Of Me - Part One

AU Henry Cavill (Detective!Henry) x female reader

Words: 3,754

TW/CW: Angst/whump. Mentions of sex/trying for a baby. Violence/fighting/mugging/violence against an animal. Blood/mentions of injury. Bad language. Mentions of hospital/surgery. Pregnancy/miscarriage.

Notes: This is my very first AU Henry fic! Also, I know nothing about how policemen/police forces work, this is a fan written piece of fiction and I am likely to get something wrong. Anything I have written is for entertainment purposes only, and may not be 100% accurate. Any and all feedback welcome! :)

(Part two can be found here)

Henry was late home again. I wasn’t mad exactly; just disappointed. Laughing to myself- slightly bitterly- at the cliché, I sighed. As a detective superintendent, Henry’s job was incredibly demanding, not just on Henry himself but on his time too. Evenings like tonight happened more often than not, with Henry regularly rushing in through the door, a bunch of petrol station bought flowers balancing precariously on top of the stacks of files in his arms. Tonight was no exception.

“Hiya love, I am so sorry I’m late,” he said, handing me yellow roses, the cellophane wrapped around them rustling as he leaned in for a kiss. I felt my earlier disappointment evaporate somewhat. As a cop’s wife, I’d long ago resigned myself to this life, and was always grateful for all and any time I got to spend with him.

“It’s okay… although, hmm… yellow roses? Must mean you’re not quite finished working yet if you’ve bought me my favourite flowers,” I half-jokingly said to him with a smile. Henry sheepishly smiled back.

“You know me far too well, wife of mine.”

Sighing again, I took the flowers from him and went through into the kitchen to fetch a vase. Filling it with water, I heard Henry fussing Kal, our American Akita dog. I say ours, but it was no secret that Kal was a complete daddy’s boy. I might do the majority of feeding him, walking him and playing with him but the minute Henry was home I didn’t get a look in. Bringing the vase now filled with flowers into the living room, I put them next to the last lot he’d bought me, which were still fresh.

Henry followed me in, wrapping his long arms around me, resting his chin on the top of my head as he looked down at the flowers on the table. I could feel the guilt radiating from him, and turned to face him.

“Hey, it’s okay. I get it, you know I do.”

“I know, I know… It’s just you deserve so much better than these shitty flowers as apologies all the time…” Henry said, running his hands through his dark curly hair anxiously.

“Stop it. They’re lovely,” I soothed, taking his hands in mine and holding them between us. He smiled, a tired smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

“You’re too good for me. I promise, I shouldn’t be too long with this paperwork tonight, and then we can go out for dinner, how about that? You choose where.”

I tried and failed to hide my excitement; eating dinner out together was such a rare occurrence, a real treat. “How about that lovely little Italian place we went to for my birthday last year?” I asked.

“Sounds perfect,” Henry replied, before kissing me gently on top of my head and turning around to remove his work jacket, the sight of his shirt pulling tight across his toned back causing my breath to hitch in my throat. We’d been married just over ten years, yet the test of time had done nothing to dull the allure he held.

In another universe, Henry could have been a model, or perhaps a Hollywood actor, being over six foot tall with his rugged jawline and heart-breaking smile, gentle blue eyes and of course, those super-soft brown curls, with the smattering of grey at the temples. His spent time on his appearance- working out daily with both weights and cardio, resulting in a muscular physique. Even his voice was attractive, smooth and deep. Yet the TV appearances Henry made weren’t red carpet affairs as an A-lister, but press conferences, informing the public of developments in big cases as the lead detective superintendent. The way Henry gave his speeches had a captivating effect, worthy perhaps of an Oscar, yet this wasn’t acting. The serious look on his face, the furrowed brow above dark and stormy eyes, mouth set in a grim line as he told the awaiting media of the criminals he was hunting paired with his tall and imposing stature and his sincere promises with that cultured accent that these dangerous people will be caught were all believed by the rapt and attentive faces in the audience below him, and the worried public watching from home. When Henry was getting statements from terrified victims, he was kind and patient, and many found him easy to open up to and confide in, and again believed him when he vowed to bring them justice. It wasn’t just his words that put people at ease either, his track record for solved cases was near enough perfect, and he never filed away a case until it was solved, even if it meant working on it for longer than was to be expected. And when it came to chasing after and finally catching those he pursued it then became obvious that all the time spent working out at the gym wasn’t for reasons of vanity; his strength and stamina meant the villains were absolutely no match for him, and when he had them opposite him in handcuffs, his intelligence and dark coercion made quick work of getting a confession out of them. His co-workers said that Henry often put them to shame, saying he was going to push them out of a job, yet they were only joking; Henry was a joy to work with, his charming smile and helpful demeanor meant he made friends wherever he went, and his superiors never had a bad word to say about him either and all his reviews always came back glowing. He was universally loved by the public, his peers and of course, by me. I was in awe of him every day, and counted myself more than lucky that I was the one he’d asked to be his wife, even if I did have to share him with the job; it was worth it.

Henry caught me staring. “Like what you see, hmm?” he winked, and laughed out loud when I blushed.

“Hey, I won’t be made me to feel embarrassed for lusting after my own husband!” I replied, playfully swatting at him. “But as a matter of fact, yes I do like what I see.”

“Well maybe you can see more of it later, after dinner, if you’re lucky,” he purred, and I felt my body heat in response. “And if we’re both lucky, tonight might be the night we make a little Henry or Y/N… what do you think?”

I looked up at him in adoration. We loved our life together, being happily married and each had our own careers, our beautiful town house in the center of London, and of course, our wonderful Kal, but recently we’d decided that we wanted to expand our family and felt it was time to start thinking about welcoming a baby of our own into our lives. It was difficult to try properly with how busy Henry was with work, so we’d had a long chat about how we weren’t going to get our hopes up too much, I was just going to come off my contraception and we’d see what happens. I was genuinely okay with this arrangement, however whenever he said things like that it made my heart swell.

“I love you, Mr Cavill,” I whispered.

“I love you too, Mrs Cavill,” he replied, kissing me deeply.

Just then, Kal’s whining from the hallway floated into the living room; we both knew he was sat by his leads hanging up by the front door as it was time for his nightly walk. Usually Henry and I took him out together. Henry looked guilty again.

“How about I take him whilst you get the rest of your work done? Then by the time I get back we can both get ready and head out for dinner?” I said.

“Are you sure? I don’t like the idea of you going out on your own…”

“I won’t be on my own, I’ll be with Kal,” I assured him. “Plus, I won’t take him far, just through the park and around the block?”

“Okay, but take your phone, and keep an eye on your surroundings,” he said, worriedly.

“Yes, Detective Cavill, sir!” I laughed, making him smile. “Honestly, I’ll be fine. See you in a bit.”

Kissing him quickly and telling him again that I loved him, I grabbed Kal and we both flew out the front door, leaving Henry at his desk surrounded by his paperwork, all of us blissfully unaware of what was about to happen.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a typical November evening; pitch black already even though it was barely 7pm, cold and blustery, with the threat of rain hanging in the air. I wish I’d put on something thicker than my old rain mac, and was glad I was only taking Kal on a short stroll. We’d been through the park already, the huge fluffy bear happily stopping and sniffing every lamppost and flowerbed we walked by, his tail constantly wagging. We were now walking back towards our house down the back alleys, and even though I’d said to Henry I’d be fine, I couldn’t help feeling slightly on edge; I suppose this was part of being a policeman’s wife, always aware that there could be danger lurking in the dark. I was grateful for my huge dog and his intimidating presence, well, as intimidating as he could be with his big slobbery smile and his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth. I laughed at his infectious joy and ruffled his ears.

“Not long now boy and we’ll be home in the warm,” I said to him conversationally. “I wonder how you dad is getting on-“ I stopped mid sentence. Kal’s mood had suddenly shifted; his ears flattened back, and a growl was beginning low in his throat. I looked around for whatever it was that had spooked him, getting my phone out of my pocket, Henry’s number first on my speed dial. I didn’t get chance to call as a hand flew out of the darkness, knocking the phone out of my hand; I heard it shatter somewhere on the concrete behind me.

“Not the night for a pretty little thing like you to be walking alone,” said a voice. Kal bared his teeth as a man emerged from the shadows. He was wearing a dark tracksuit, a cap pulled low over his face. I didn’t answer him, my eyes darting for an escape route. We were so close to home, if I could just run…

“I know you,” the stranger said. “You’re that cunt cop’s missus. I’ve seen him on the telly, seen you both out together.” Still, I said nothing. “Reckon you’ve got some decent dosh on you if you’re married to a pig…”

“Look, I’m just out walking my dog,” I said, frightened but firm. “I don’t have anything to give you, I don’t have my bag with me. Please, leave me alone…” I tried to move past him, but he stepped into my path, blocking me.

“Hmm, that won’t do… what about the dog? Bet he’s worth some money,” his mouth split into a menacing grin under the cap as he moved to snatch Kal’s lead from me. I pushed him back with as much power as I could muster, hoping it would be enough to make enough time to escape and run home, but I wasn’t quick enough. His fist pulled back and then rammed into my face with so much force that I felt my nose break, and I screamed.

Kal launched himself between me and the mugger, attempting to bite his hand, the one that had punched me, but again the man powered up his fist, this time hitting Kal on his snout and he yelped.

“No! Leave him alone!” I screamed again. The stranger laughed viciously, punching Kal again and this time I got in front of him, flailing at him, attempting to hurt him in any way I could, any way that would stop him for beating my dog, stealing him…

“You fucking bitch, get off!” he yelled, and then howled in pain as Kal’s teeth finally connected with their target; his tracksuit sleeve was shiny with the same blood that was now smeared on Kal’s muzzle. He was now completely enraged, and he plunged his hand into his trouser pocket; I saw a glint of silver as he ran like a bull to a red flag towards Kal… I jumped in front my dog, arms outstretched, protecting him from the incoming assault, and just in time, our attacker’s hand connected with my stomach rather than Kal’s face, punching me harder than I was expecting, pain shooting across my abdomen, and I felt the air whoosh out of my lungs, winding me. Quickly though I regained myself, adrenaline coursing through my veins, and I screamed louder than ever, propelling my entire body at him and finally, he fell, landing flat on his back on the pavement, slick with his own blood.

“Kal, come on! Let’s go! Get home!” I shouted frantically, and Kal took off, his lead lost in the struggle, with me running behind, not looking back, only forward, to help, to Henry.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back at home, Henry looked up from the case report he’d lost himself in, at the clock on the mantelpiece, and was surprised to see how much time had passed since you and Kal had left for their walk. You should have been back by now, and immediately he felt ice plunge into his stomach; something was wrong, his detective instincts were telling him. Grabbing his phone he dialled your number, and was dismayed when he heard your voicemail message. Anxiety prickling at him, he quickly thought through options. Logic was telling him not to panic, maybe you’d just run into someone you knew and were chatting? But he knew better; you never went anywhere without a charged phone, and you’d always let him know if you’d be late home, even if was only going to be a couple of minutes. Throwing a hand through his hair agitatedly, he decided he would go over to the park, see if he could find you both. That’s when he heard a dog’s howl and his heart stuttered with fear.

Henry ran towards the sound of the animal, praying it wasn’t Kal, hoping against hope it was another dog, and threw open the back door to see Kal sprinting up the garden path, the akita throwing himself into Henry, whining desperately.

“Kal! What is it boy? Where’s your mum? Is that- is that blood?!” Henry held Kal’s face in his hand trying to inspect it, but Kal barked and wrenched himself away from Henry’s grasp, turning his head in the direction of the bottom of the garden. Henry followed his gaze and saw you, still upright, but barely, staggering through the gate. Henry flew towards you.

“Y/N! Y/N, are you okay?!” he cried, grabbing you, holding you up. He could see blood on your face too, coming from your nose. Anger coursed through him.

“Henry, oh my god, Henry, this guy, he tried to… he punched Kal… hurt Kal…”

“Kal is okay… come on, let’s get you in, you’re bleeding…”

“No, no, I’m fine, need to check Kal… Kal…”

Henry suddenly had the realisation that something was seriously wrong with you, something more than the obvious broken nose. You were shaking severely, ice cold and pale. He held you at arm’s length, eyes raking you up and down, checking for… oh god, he thought, no, no, no…

A dark stain was blooming across the bottom of the purple raincoat you were wearing… Henry ripped it open and pulled off your t-shirt; it ripped away easily and Henry cried out vehemently at the sight of the wound underneath. It was clear you’d been stabbed. No, no, no…

“Henry?” came your quiet voice. “Henry?”

“It’s okay love, it’s okay, you’re okay, come on, I’m going to get you some help…” Henry’s voice caught as you fell to your knees, head lolling against your chest. “Come on Y/N, come on, you’re okay, you’re going to be okay…” He lifted you into his arms, speeding into the house and lying you down on the sofa, the blood flowing too fast from the hole in your stomach. I’ve got to stop the bleeding, Henry thought, his mind going into emergency mode.

“Kal… we need to help Kal… he hurt our Kal, Henry…” you whispered from the sofa as Henry whipped the tablecloth away from the dining table with one hand and dialled the emergency number with the other.

“I know, look, he’s okay though, see?” Henry said as he used the tablecloth to attempt to stop the bleeding; in an instant it was soaked through. Kal whimpered slightly, peering at you worriedly from behind Henry. You smiled faintly, and then, suddenly, your face went slack as a trickle of bright scarlet blood flowed from the corner of your mouth and your eyes rolled back in your head. You went completely still, and Henry saw, with icy terror flooding into his mouth, that you had stopped breathing. Roaring your address down the phone to the operator, he tossed the phone aside and started CPR. Come on, come on… don’t die, you can’t die… he thought desperately. Please, please, don’t let her die… I’ll do anything, please don’t take her from me…

He openly cried with relief when the ambulance arrived and the paramedics raced in, immediately taking over from Henry with the CPR, and sobbed when he saw you take a breath. He stood on the front step, watching as they sped you away with full blue lights and sirens- “we’ll be taking her into surgery Mr Cavill, if you can follow behind us” – and as the adrenaline left his system, he looked down to see his shirt and hands completely covered in your blood, and he fell to the floor, the sobs wracking his body as they clawed their way up his throat.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kal, Henry thought, composing himself and rushing back inside to check on the dog. He found him shaking next to the blood-soaked sofa, and checking him over thoroughly, it soon became apparent that Kal hadn’t been stabbed either, to Henry’s immense relief.

“Come here, boy,” he said, holding out his arms, to which Kal gratefully nuzzled in to. Henry held him until they both stopped shaking, and retrieving his phone, Henry called one of his brothers who thankfully lived close by, and promised to be there in less than ten minutes to take Kal to the vet for a check up, just in case.

As he cuddled Kal and waited for his brother, Henry had a thought, his detective mind coming back into focus now the shock was wearing off. That blood on Kal’s muzzle, I don’t think that’s hers… Standing up, he went to his work bag and got out one of the blood-sample tubes he kept in his field kit. Speaking to his dog in calm, soothing tones, he put on a pair of rubber gloves, and carefully scraped off the drying blood from Kal’s fur, before screwing the lid on tightly and dropping the tube into an evidence bag, which he then put in his pocket.

Just then, Henry’s brother arrived, and Henry hurriedly caught him up, and they gave each other a swift hug before each of them raced off in their respective cars, one to the vet and the other to the hospital.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Detective Superintendent Cavill, hi,” said the on-call surgeon to Henry as he strode into the ICU. Henry recognised him, having worked with him before on past cases, and was pleased it was him who had been the one to operate on you tonight.

“Hey, doc. How is she?” Henry asked, trying to keep the worry from his voice, and failing.

“It was touch and go for a while, and she is in a critical but stable condition. The next twenty-four hours will give us an idea of her prognosis,” replied the surgeon. “Although, I’m afraid I do have some bad news…”

“Bad news?” A hundred different thoughts and scenarios raced through Henry’s mind; panic threatened to overwhelm him.

“Perhaps it’s best if we sit down for a minute,” the surgeon led him to a private room. “When we were operating, we noticed Mrs Cavill was hemorrhaging not only from her abdomen, but from her uterus too. She was… she was pregnant, but the trauma to her body from the stabbing was too much. We did everything we could to stop it, but she miscarried. I’m so sorry.”

The doctor’s voice was drowned out by an odd whirring in Henry’s ears. His voice seemed disconnected to his body. “She was pregnant?” he whispered.

“I understand this is a shock. If there’s anything I can do, please let me know.” The surgeon looked at him with pity.

Henry stood up, hands thrown through his hair again; his giveaway tell for stress. “Yeah doc, um, do me a favour actually. Don’t tell her, if – when – she wakes up. I’ll tell her, I want to be the one.”

“Yes, of course.”

“Thank you. Will she be okay if I step out for a while? I need to get to the station, see if we can start going about catching whoever did this…”

“Absolutely; she’s in the best place. I will call if anything changes.” The surgeon stood too.

“Thanks doc,” Henry grasped and shook the surgeon’s hand, before leaving the private room and heading down the corridor to see you.

Nothing could have prepared him for the sight that greeted him. Of course, over his years in the force, Henry had seen plenty of disturbing and upsetting scenes, but this, seeing his wife, the woman he was in love with, his whole life led on that bed surrounded by wires and beeping machines, a thick white bandage wrapped around her torso, an oxygen mask dominating her face… this was definitely the worst. And to know you had been pregnant… cold anger and grief washed over him, his hands balling into fists at his sides.

“I’ll find who did this,” Henry whispered as he leant over and kissed your forehead. “I’ll find him and I’ll make him pay in every way I can, I promise.”

As he headed down the corridor and out of the hospital, the little vial of blood in its evidence bag burned a hole in his pocket.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading! Check back soon for part 2!

Part Two can be found here

#henry cavill #henrycavillobsessed #henry cavill obsessed #henry cavill fan fiction #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fan fic #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill angst #henry cavill au #henry cavill x reader

451 notes · View notes

slowdiived · 2 years ago

Note

I love your Kurt stories lol

i was wondering (if your comfortable w it) could you do a Kurt x !fem !suicidal reader?

(lmao im not good at talking to people)

Thanks! <3

yes i can bc lord knows i eat these up when i get that way 💙

tw for self harm and suicidal ideation.

“hey,” kurt was very quiet and gentle, his hand cascading onto your lower back. “are you feeling o-okay?”

you perk up from your bed, stretching out and turning towards him. you just give him a small nod and turn your body to face his. you were embarrassed, your room dirty and the same clothes you had been wearing for three days just rotting away on your body. you were happy he had came over out of the blue though, not having to put in the effort to actually text him. you hadn’t felt the urge to talk to anyone in days.

“are you sure?” his voice was so quiet, he whispered with his nose just inches away from you.

his hand was combing through your unbrushed hair, knots getting caught in his fingertips. you could tell he was visibly worried, his eyes wide and his brow furrowed. you felt bad at how disheveled you were, not wanting to worry him or have him deal with you at all. you were selfish though and knew you couldn’t just tell him to leave, you wanted him here while the terrifying feelings crept through you.

“i could be better,” you spoke just as softly, with the room so silent it was hard to be loud. “sorry for making you come all this way.”

“i was worried about you,” he grabbed your cheek. “don’t be sorry, i-i wanted to be here.”

you nodded and brought your hand up to scratch the itchy part of your forehead, forgetting the visible marks on your skin. he gave you a look, his eyes focusing in on them. he didn’t know what to say, his brain just jumbling stupid words into stupid sentences that he knew wouldn’t help. he didn’t know if any words could help the situation. he had never seen you like this before, he didn’t have practice to save you from this.

“when is the last time you got up, b-baby?” it was like he was carefully crafting his words together, sewing them into the right order.

“i don’t know,” you sighed. “like maybe around the time i got off, like ten?”

he knew that you got off last night at ten pm and now it was about eight the next day. he didn’t want to freak you out or make you upset, so he kept his mouth shut about the time.

“let’s go take a shower,” he smiled. “okay?”

“i don’t want to get up kurt,” you roll your eyes. “i’m really tired.”

“have you been sleeping?” he asked politely.

“you just woke me up,” you snapped back at him. “i don’t need you to tell me to take a shower when i’m obviously in the middle of trying to sleep, okay?”

he watched as you turned your back on him, his heart sinking at your action.

“what is going on with you? be honest with me please.”

you sat up in a fit of anger, your rolled up sweatshirt sleeves being pulled down by you fidgeting.

“do you want to know what’s going on kurt?” your tone was now louder. “do you wanna know why i haven’t responded to you?”

“yes please, you’re worrying me!” he threw his arms in the air.

“because i’m not worth it and you shouldn’t have to deal with me, ever!” you yelled, eyes starting to leak out pushed back tears. “because all i want is for everything to stop and for everyone to go away. i don’t want to ever interact with another human again, i hate having feelings for people when i know that i’m sick and not worth anything.”

he looked at you blankly, your body reacting by standing up.

“i hate that i worry you, i hate that i moved away from my family, i hate that i’m stuck repeating my days at a job i don’t like, i hate this life. i came here to start over, to find something to live for and all i’ve proven to myself is t-that i don’t want to live and disappoint you. i want to rot away into nothing, i want to die all over again, kurt.”

he was crying, the words you screamed out to him just echoing through the walls. the air was thick as you both whimpered and choked on tears.

“y-you’ve never disappointed m-me,” he kept wiping his running tears. “i’ve never been upset with you t-this entire t-time.”

“but i eventually will,” you yelled back. “i just fucking did. i just fucking did!”

you collapsed onto the floor repeating to yourself that you wanted to die. it was dramatic but it felt like the climax of your week’s breakdown. you hadn’t cried yet, you hadn’t found a reason to cry. you just decided to rot away and barely eat, hold in anything to just be able to lay in bed. you stopped responding to anyone, putting kurt on mute. you wanted this. you wanted to die.

“m’ sorry,” he cried, bringing himself to calm your sobs. “m’ so sorry.”

he dragged you into his arms and you latched onto him, both of your aggressively crying to each other. snot and tears built up on both of you, not even caring and just letting it out.

“i love you,” kurt whispered into your ear over and over.

he let go of your back and pushed you off of him for a moment. you were confused but could barely concentrate on his actions.

“i will make it better,” he said, pulling your hand up as he stood onto his feet. “let’s go take a bath please.”

and you abided because you loved him and he loved you. you spent the next hour of that evening with him cleaning you the best he could. he brushed your hair, picked out clothes, started picking up your room so you could feel less overwhelmed. it was stuff he had done for his mom when his dad would leave for days on end to go do drugs, he knew how to take care of someone, even if it never reflected into himself.

that night he stayed awake while you slept next to him. every once in awhile he leant down to kiss your head and tell you he loved you. he hoped you could hear him in your dreams.

#kurtsworld96 #kurt kunkle #kurt kunkle fanfiction #kurt kunkle fic #kurt kunkle x reader #spree #spree movie #joe keery #kurt kunkle x fem reader #kurt kunkle/reader

21 notes · View notes

sukirichi · 4 years ago

Text

earned it [06]

Gojo Satoru is a firm believer that if you work hard for it then you shall earn it. But on the other side, he’s not unfamiliar with his own sins. He also believes that there is punishment due for his sins as he’s earned it.

cw. attempted murder and suicide, angst ig i feel nothing at this point because NAOYA 😭

notes. i’m rolling with the earned it jokes that reader is shippable with everyone so HAH enjoy this chapter because I didn’t enjoy the last LMAO (IM SO EXCITED FOR TOJI TO APPEAR!)

series masterlist

Your muscles throbbed, the pounding of your heart felt even through your skin. You’ve spent hours in the training room, taking punch by punch, landing blow by blow – yet no matter how hard you tried, you kept falling on your ass. At this point, your backside was beyond sore, skin drenched with sweat and clothes sticking uncomfortably to the surface. Meanwhile, your ‘savior’ barely felt the need to catch his breath, instead gazing down at you with disappointment written all over his face.

“Why do you expect so much from me?” you panted, fists clenched on the mat. “Didn’t you tell me you just needed me to get your money back and that’s it? I didn’t ask for you to do anything so stop telling me I’m indebted to you all the time.”

Naoya clicked his tongue, clearly disappointed by your lack of resolve. Above you, he swept up his cane and finally balanced himself. You previously thought he didn’t struggle because he looked so calm and composed, easily overpowering you even with his injury, but his lips were strained, jaw clenched tight that perhaps he was just good at concealing his pain. It made you shut up and watch his every move; his back faced you – probably to hide whatever fleeting moment of vulnerability he had.

“I won’t always be there to save your sorry life,” he said calmly, “You need to learn how to be strong on your own no matter how tough it gets. Now if you’ll keep complaining instead of finishing your training, I could happily lock you up and force you to do my dirty work for me.”

“Then why don’t you go ahead?!”

“I don’t want to,” Naoya responded without missing a beat. He easily closed the distance with a few staggered steps, his head tilted to the side as he surveyed you.

You wondered what went through his mind. Did he see a weak woman? A woman who must be so helpless, so useless that you stayed there, legs too tired and muscles aching too much you couldn’t move? There was no telling with Naoya, and his guarded gaze didn’t help either. Satoru had always been difficult to read at most, but with Naoya – it was practically impossible.

Even as he cupped your chin and twisted it sideways, his eyes narrowed over all your features like he saw something you didn’t, he was too guarded.

“I need you in taking down Gojo Satoru. In order to accomplish that, I have to use his weakness against him. You showing up won’t be enough. No, I want to hurt him…and what better way than to take what was once his, right? Dangle right in front of his eyes what he let go of, make him regret his actions?” his smile turned dark, and for the first time since you’ve met him, you got a glance of what his heart really looked like.

It wasn’t true that Naoya was heartless – no, he just had a dark, sinister heart that didn’t beat the same tune as others. He played his own music with the bones of his enemies, drinking their lifeline from a gold cup and drowning in them, his ominous laughter the perfect antithetical melody of what could’ve been angelic hums.

“Don’t you want that?”

His question made your heart skipped a beat. This whole time, you’ve been so hell bent on achieving something, but what you wanted to reach had never been clear. You were too driven by emotions, by the pain Satoru’s absence had caused, and now that the opportunity was presented before you, you faltered.

“I don’t know what I want.”

“Well, if you ask me what I want…” he tilts your chin up with his finger “It would be to see you strong enough that even you would be capable of taking me down. So be strong, keep fighting – I’ll be there with you every step of the way. You only have one job, and that is to live. I am not allowing you to give up at the slightest of minor inconveniences.”

“And if I get weak?” you questioned with an oscillating tremor, the bite of his cold skin against your heated ones spiking. “If I want to give up? Would I fail you then?”

“I don’t think you’re someone who cares about failing others, so don’t fret whether you’d please me or not,” Just like that, Naoya’s scornful tone had risen again. He let go of you until you dropped down to your palms, blinking back at the sudden change of atmosphere. “Like I said, just do what you need to do, keep going. Don’t look back or be afraid to take the next big step because I’ll always be there right beside you.”

“Why should I trust you?”

“I’m not asking you to, princess,” he snickered, already half way to the door that only he was allowed to go in. Even though you’ve been staying in his manor for quite some time, there were still some things Naoya didn’t trust you with, leaving you only more curious to find out the secrets within.

“Only time will tell. But once you’ve made your decision, know that my ring is always waiting beside your table,” his voice echoed through the large room, stopping in his tracks to look at you once more. This time, he had no haunting features, only the cold emptiness likened to staring back to an infinite void of nothingness.

“I expect an answer when I get home.”

You still remembered the day you decided to wear his ring. Naoya had come then, tired and aggravated from matters he didn’t bother explaining. You stood on his doorway, lips shut tight as you nervously fiddled with your ring, unsure if whether you should tell him or allow him to piece the puzzle himself.

Thankfully, Naoya was a lot more observant than you gave him credit for.

His eyes slid over your face before he followed the motion of your fingers, smirking as the jewel glinted under the bright lights of his home. Wise choice, he’d once told you, and you believed it.

Your life hadn’t been the same ever since. Your spontaneous marriage equated to hellish training of perfecting your image as his trophy wife, spending hours in his secret laboratory and discussing business plans through a glass of wine. Naoya wasn’t around much to teach you everything and it pained him to be your own trainer too so you had to ask help from his guards, refusing to give up and fall down even as your muscles screamed at you to take a break. For Naoya, with Naoya, giving up and running away felt like a myth; a buried solution in the past that should never be brought up again. But now that he was gone, you did exactly that.

You’d given up. Satoru had made you run away.

“Miss,” a deep voice cut you from your thoughts. You tore your gaze away from the glowing night city of Milan to turn to Satoru’s right hand man, the tall figure looming rather shyly instead of imposingly. “You haven’t eaten since we got here. Would you like anything? Mr. Gojo will cover your expenses.”

“I want to go home.”

He froze at your deadpan statement. Finally meeting your gaze under his lashes, Geto pursed his lips. “You know we can’t do that, Miss. It’s unsafe back in Japan.”

“And who’s to say Toji won’t follow us here?” you snapped, pushing your weight off the Cleopatra set and uncrossing your legs. “Why can’t your stupid boss just activate the account and give it back to us? I think we’ve made it clear we’re more than capable of handling our finances, and I’m pretty sure Satoru doesn’t need any more money when he can afford all this.”

“Mr. Gojo…has his reasons for everything he does.”

You laughed bitterly. Maybe it was the fact that Satoru had left this morning for whatever business he had that you didn’t have anyone else to let your anger out to that you’d swiped your gun under your thigh holster and dashed his way.

Geto’s back slammed against the wall, the cool barrel of your gun pressed to his jaw. He swallowed nervously, eyes darting to your weapon, and you laughed heartlessly. “Oh, please, do tell because nothing makes sense,” you crooned, flipping the safety off and letting your heated gaze meet his rather docile ones. You almost felt bad for him. Almost.

“I could easily put a bullet through your head and hijack his plane. I’ll be gone before you know it and who’s to stop me from doing that? Why should I stay here any longer with you?”

“Because your husband asked you to,” Geto responded softly. You stepped back with wide eyes, yesterday’s event crashing all over you once again. He must’ve sensed you no longer held any hostility because he used his pointer finger to move the barrel away from him, gently peeling your hands off his suit. “Because you know, if you go back to Japan, there will be nothing waiting for you there.”

You balled your fists. “I will kill Fushiguro Toji myself. Then I’ll kill Satoru.”

“Even if he used to be your lover?”

“Especially because he used to be my lover.”

Okay…maybe your plan of escaping and returning to Japan hadn’t worked out that well. Exhaustion finally crept up to your senses that you passed out not long after attacking Geto – who reassured you to no end he wasn’t mad you tried to kill him – and days have passed ever since. You hated to admit it, but being stuck in an overseas hotel wasn’t so bad. Geto’s presence was a lot more comforting than his master’s that you didn’t mind having him watch your every move. Plus, he was really nice to immediately follow your every whim. You wanted hot chocolate? Extra pillows? A really expensive wine that you refused to pay for because you were petty and dramatic? He provided it all without question.

Except he probably should have, because you’d stripped off to your underwear, head tipped back to take one final swig of the nearly empty bottle as you slid deeper into the tub.

Your fiery nature of rolling your eyes at Satoru every time he came around (which was rare, for some reason) couldn’t fool anyone – not even yourself. The moment Geto retired to the living room, you would bite the pillows to muffle your cries, thinking back to when Naoya was still alive. It was an endless torment of what if you had stayed, what if you had pushed the rubble off him, what if you just saved him?

Would he still be alive? Would he have survived? Would you be back with him in the Zen’in Estate instead of holding your breath under the tub in a desperate attempt to conceal your tears?

It hurt so bad. It hurt everywhere.

Your lungs begged you to rise up and breathe, but you stayed still under the water, eyes shut tight and hands clenched around the tub’s edges so hard your knuckles turned white. Soon, you grew dizzy and your grip slipped away. Finally, fucking finally, you were falling, falling way too deep that your legs bent inside the tub. Bubbles erupted from your lips in one last breath. At the back of your mind, you let out a sincere laugh for you’d meet your husband soon. He’d be disappointed, probably scold you all the way to the afterlife – until strong arms pulled you out of the tub and into someone’s chest instead.

“Shit, what are you doing?! You could’ve drowned!”

You coughed out water and fisted Satoru’s button-up shirt that had now clung to his skin from the water. Looking around you, you were still very much alive, the uncomfortable twisting of your heart a painful reminder of that. Above you, Satoru sat you in his lap while he remained cross-legged on the floor, muttering curses under his breath as he wrapped a towel around you.

Scoffing, you pushed his hands away, though you kept the towel anyway to lessen your shivering. Why the fuck was the AC so damn strong here?

“Dying seems like a better option, don’t you think?” you snarled at him, teeth chattering from the chill that had begin to seep in.

Momentarily, you worried on how much of a hot mess you probably looked like. Smudged eyeliner, wine-stained lips, unbrushed hair and remnants of the wine mixing with the once clear bath water – you shook your head at the thought and glared at Satoru.

“Where the fuck have you been?”

“I was out contacting friends to ask for help. We’re going to need a hundred pairs of eyes watching anywhere that Toji could possibly come through.”

“Is this your pathetic idea of ‘keeping me safe’? Locking me up in this stupid hotel and having your man watch me all the time?” you pushed yourself off him, the sudden motion of standing up giving you wobbly legs. Satoru reached over to steady you but you slapped his hand away, your glare warning him to not take another step.

Seeing his face, seeing him worried as if he didn’t just cause your life to turn into absolute hell, you wanted to grab the wine bottle and smash it right at his pretty face. He had no right to look at you with pity.

You hated him, utterly and terribly despised this man with your entire being.

“What are you really planning, Satoru? Why can’t we just come back home and attack Toji with all we’ve got? Why don’t you just give back our fucking money so we can end all this for once and for all and I can leave?!”

“Because I don’t have the money!”

“What?”

“The money…” Satoru’s back slid off the wall, his palm coming up to thread through his hair. He sounded weak, defeated. “I don’t have it.”

“Gojo,” you snatched him by the collar, teeth bared as you demanded, “What do you mean you don’t have it?”

Satoru paled. “When I stole the money from the Zen’ins, the figures were all fake. They’re not real, there’s no actual money hidden behind their accounts and it was too late before I realized that,” his lips trembled as he continued, “Whatever Toji placed in there, it’s not his actual account where he hides everything and it would make sense too because I stole it too easily – almost as if they wanted me to take it. A few hacks here and there and it was immediately wired to me but after meeting you…” Satoru shook his head, chin dropped down low. “I checked again and the account never existed. It’s a fake one. The digits are just there for show.”

“So then why would Toji want it? Why did my husband have to die for nothing?!”

“I don’t know, okay, I don’t know anything!” he argued back until your faces grew closer, his nose brushing with yours.

Somehow, you couldn’t pull away. His knees had drawn up, forcing you to rest on his thighs as you both breathed heavily, your grip on his collar almost havered.

“Whatever the Zen’ins are hiding, that’s beyond me. I may be in the business for far longer than they have, but they have always been notorious with their possessions that I’m not surprised even I can’t find where it really leads back to. Whatever Toji is hiding there, your husband must’ve known something about it. Why else would they fight tooth and bone over it?”

“If there was, Naoya would’ve told me about it.”

“He would if he trusted you,” Satoru suddenly grabbed your wrist and shook it until you stared at your ring. “How are you even so sure he could trust you with that information? Have you forgotten you’re just a pawn to his game and you’re nothing but a bed warmer?”

“Don’t you ever speak about us that way. You don’t know how much he cared for me.”

“If he really did, then why didn’t he tell you why his cousin is after you? He’s using you as bait, Y/N. I’m not the bad guy here. That man you’re so deeply in love with? I can’t guarantee he’s better than me. We’re all men in the mafia, love is the last thing we would care about.”

You pushed yourself off him.

His words stung too much, not because it was a lie, but because you know there was some sort of truth ringing behind it. You trudged out of the bathroom and sat on the bed, unstirred by the fact you dripped all over the carpeted floor. From behind you, Satoru’s rushed footsteps echoed, but you didn’t care. You simply threw on a robe with your back turned to him.

“And you’d know that better than everyone right? Considering how easy it was for you to leave me?” When Satoru didn’t respond, you chuckled humorlessly and sat on the bed. “What Naoya and I had…it was a friendship that healed my soul. I don’t…I don’t know what to do without him.”

“Friendship?”

You smiled sadly. “I wasn’t actually in love with him, idiot. Men like Naoya don’t know what love is, but he sure does know how to protect family.”

The notion of talking about him, of accepting that maybe he really was gone…somewhat reliving.

Satoru was the last person you wanted to talk to your late husband about, but Geto – which is the much better company – wasn’t around, and you hugged your knees to yourself, refusing to let Satoru see through your vulnerability.

“You know, I trusted him more than I did myself. He was always there for me, no matter what. His soul was dark, angry, corrupted – he’s not the man I would fall for, but despite all that, he was the friend I needed,” you buried your face in your knees, voice muffled as you cried, your heart shattering again and again and again.

The ring on your finger had never felt so heavy ever since you wore it.

“I loved him as much as I hated you.”

Satoru was silent, so much so that you wondered if he was even in the same room at all. You sat there crying, too hopeless to even try to conceal it anymore. Shivering, you close your eyes and forced the image of Naoya’s last moments away from your memories, desperately praying to whoever had mercy that you could just forget all about it.

“Geto told me you tried to kill him,” Satoru murmured after a beat, “You could’ve easily escaped and went back to Japan if you wanted to, so why didn’t you? Was it because of me?”

You remembered what you tried to do today.

Just like that, Naoya was alive once more. You were brought back to the day of your wedding when he’d clasped your sweaty, clammy hands in his, rubbing some warmth in them before pressing a kiss at the top of your knuckles. He’d asked you to promise him something then – an entire contrast from his constants orders over your well-being – and it was a promise you’d momentarily forgotten; a promise you’d broken out of mourning.

“Naoya once told me,” you reminisced through dry, cracked lips and even more shattered heart, the picture of his disappointment as clear as day. “Death was the only place he can go where he would never allow me to follow.”

It took a lot, but it somehow got better. After allowing yourself a faint moment of weakness where Naoya resurfaced in your mind to remind you of our promise and your purpose, you felt stronger, somewhat steadier with each step you took. You were still wary around Satoru, although that was a given.

His friend, Geto, was really nice, on the other hand, and you couldn’t explain why you always lowered your guard around the formal dark-haired assistant.

You and Geto were playing chess when Satoru barged in out of nowhere, a plate and a syrup condenser on his hand. “So I got you breakfast,” was his greeting, nodding at Geto once as a silent order to give you two privacy. You pouted as the latter left, but soon your attention had been diverted to the heavenly aroma filling in your senses. Seeing your approval, Satoru hid a smile behind his dark sunglasses. “Still like pancakes?”

“Trying to get into my good graces now?”

“I’m just trying to cheer you up.”

You rolled your eyes but snatched the plate from him anyway. “So I talked to my lawyer,” you begun, pouring syrup all over the fluffy bread until it was almost spilling to the sides. Beside you, Satoru’s snickers were barely muffled, to which you ignored wholeheartedly. “They’ve already processed my inheritance over Naoya’s possessions and assets. Once we return to Japan, I’ll be the next leader of the Zen’in Clan, much to the disappointment of his elders, of course, but they can’t do anything about it,” you informed him with your fork hanging in mid-air, the words falling thickly. “You know what that means, don’t you?”

“That we’re back to being enemies?”

You offered him a sarcastic smile. “Naoya lied about strengthening his alliance with your family. He doesn’t actually give a fuck about you.”

“I figured that much,” he snickered to himself, shifting his weight until his elbows rested on his thighs. “Listen…a friend of mine is flying to Milan tonight to meet us. They have strong connections with banks all over the world and they brought in some information about that hidden Zen’in account. I think we’re finally getting off to somewhere and finding out what really is in there,” Satoru gauged for your reaction, but you kept eating – more like stuffing the pancakes inside your mouth for you were finally free of having to act perfect without your husband.

Satoru’s hand landed on top of yours. “I promise…I’ll give it back to right where it belongs. As soon as it’s wired back to you, I’m setting you free.”

You stared at the unwanted figure over you, and you snatched your hand back, waving a bread knife below his lashes. “You can’t set me free when I was never yours,” you sang breathily, the tip of the blade hovered right at his lips. Satoru raised a brow at you, but you quickly retrieved the knife back with widened eyes. “Now that you mention it…I think Naoya told me something about his family stashing secret weapons and even heirlooms through offshore accounts and buried under islands. He was a little sleepy during that time but I remember it,” pushing the plate away from you as you lost your appetite, you clutched your palms under your chin in thought. “He said he was looking for something he lost as a child, possibly an heirloom.”

“He’s doing all this for heirlooms?” Satoru immediately coughed his words back when you glared at him, raising his hands in surrender. “I mean, I was just saying. I didn’t think he was a sentimental type of guy.”

“The question here is what both Toji and Naoya could’ve both wanted from that account. It’s not just an heirloom, obviously there’s something there worth more than money,” You argued and slapped your knees, heading straight to your (unfortunately) shared room. “Whatever. I’ll get this over with as soon as I get the money back.”

Satoru, as always, was hot on your heels. It annoyed you how he trailed over you like some sort of puppy or shadow – Naoya had always been too classy to not give you space.

The difference between them just kept getting more and more uncannily obvious.

“Whoa there, stop. Did you really think I’d give back the money to you and that’s it? Are you forgetting the fact Toji is out there to kill you just so he can have his hands on it?”

“He can have the money for all I fucking care,” you shrugged and sat on your bed, scrolling through numerous piles of emails and records that Naoya entrusted you to keep. Surely you could find something. “I just need to find whatever Naoya’s spent his whole life killing for.”

“Why don’t you care about the money? Didn’t Naoya expect you to take over his business?”

Your thumb froze over a file. Suddenly, your throat grew dry, and you quickly flashed Satoru a stinky eye. “I-it’s not my main concern.”

“It’s not safe for you. If Toji finds out—”

Got it. You bookmarked an email Naoya had forwarded you around three years ago and resent it to an old friend, pocketing the phone back to your pyjamas before Satoru could see. “I’ll handle it. I’ve been doing well so far before you came into our lives again,” you finalized, stopping for a bit as you waited for that all-too familiar footfall matching with yours, only for the room to be coated in silence.

Satoru stood there on the other side of the room, eyes deep in thought before he sighed. “I’ll meet you at the hotel restaurant tonight. We have a lot to discuss on what our next move should be,” nodding once, Satoru left the room.

The hotel room was eerily silent.

Dinner came around faster than you expected. With Geto out to run some errands for Satoru, something about ‘establishing bases’ or whatever, you were locked in your room, using Naoya’s black card to get enough amount of clothing to last you for your stay here. Even though Satoru had promised he’d take care of everything, you didn’t want to be in his debt for any longer. You weren’t his, you were Naoya’s, and you shot down his curious looks when heaps of shopping bags had been delivered to your door.

An hour later, you left the room, struggling to zipper the back of your dress. Satoru was already in the living room buttoning up his suit jacket, just as handsome as ever (though you’d never tell him that.)

His hands froze in the last button once his eyes landed on you, and you huffed at him, too distressed to even act cute or bothered while pointing to your dress. Satoru strode to you in three long steps, his cold fingers brushing against the dip of your spine when he clutched on the zipper.

You had to bite your lip down to prevent the shivers from spilling through, his lips dangerously close to your ear as he whispered, “You look great.”

“You’re not so bad yourself.”

If Satoru was bothered by the lack of sincerity in your voice, he didn’t comment on it. He removed his hands from you and watched as you slipped black velvet gloves through your arms – just in case you had to end up killing someone; leaving fingerprints was a risk you couldn’t take.

“Did you really get dressed to kill?”

“I came here to negotiate,” you corrected, “I’ll do everything I can to find out whatever’s behind that offshore account. And you, sir,” Frowning at him, you pulled Satoru closer by the tie, perhaps a little too harshly since he nearly knocked his head with yours. He was quick to steady himself as you fixed his tie, flattening it down with your fingers. “You need to know where you should stick your nose in. This is more my business than yours so don’t get in my way acting all hero and shit. I assure you I can handle myself.”

“You’re really going to berate me for worrying about you?”

“You can no longer worry about me,” you disclosed, snatching your black purse from the counter before doing the come hither motion at his shock-still figure. “Now let’s go. We have a case to crack.”

“Case to crack? You sure sound like a detective.”

You snickered, but made no further comment. The elevators dinged and you arrived at the restaurant, which you really regretted not visiting soon enough because the place was grand. Red carpeted floors, golden chandeliers, soft jazz music playing in the background as the lights dimmed down low, the faint clinking of utensils against plates and light chatter of the guests so heartbreakingly nostalgic.

It seemed that even after his death, Naoya had every intention to never leave your side. The setting reminded you too much of your never-ending late night fancy dinners.

Naoya being Naoya, he didn’t blink twice in flaunting his money and renting out entire restaurants all for himself, claiming that he just ‘wanted to have an intimate moment with his wife.’ Sure, it mostly consisted of you discussing what move you should make next, but it was the most affectionate gesture you’ve received after spending years in the quiet and cold environment of the Zen’in Estate.

The outside world wasn’t any better when you and Naoya were marked as targets by the entire government, so it made sense, that only with him that you’d find comfort in.

You must be so out of it you never even noticed Satoru leading you to your seat, a warm meal that should’ve been comforting right under your nose. It was too much – too similar that you headed straight for the wine, ignoring Satoru’s questioning gaze. You noticed from the corner of his eye that he opened his mouth too many times in an attempt to make light conversation, but this dinner wasn’t for you to rekindle your old flame.

No, you were here to wait for his ‘friend’ and review important matters. You were determined to fulfill that purpose alone and only that alone that you never once made eye contact with him, even standing up to reach the salt shaker near him instead of asking him to pass it.

Just as you leaned back to your seat, the music grew louder. A foreign man walked to the stage where he was basked in the spotlight, all heads turning to him when he tapped the microphone, sending little echoes all over the hall. “Ladies and gentlemen, let’s loosen up tonight with a drink and bring our lovers out here on the dance floor,” he sang while swaying side to side, snapping his fingers to the beat that had turned into calming to sensual. “It is a fine evening, isn’t it? Come on, don’t be shy, the night is still so young!”

You dropped your fork beside the plate. “Did you know about this?”

“I swear, I had no idea.”

“Those two attractive lovers in table 42, the dance floor is still much too spacious!”

“Pretty vulgar for a five star hotel,” you commented under your breath and dabbed the pasta sauce off your lips with a napkin, slapping it down the table as you stood up – much to Satoru’s surprise who’d tried to make himself invisible from the host’s eyes. Stupid him; did he really think he could blend in with his sunglasses and snow white hair?

If you were to be honest, you’d rather choke on shrimp than dance with him, but you had an image to upkeep. If you couldn’t gather with the crowd and pretend to be one with others, both your true natures would be fished out even with innocent eyes. You were left with no choice but to be comfortable in the dance floor, sighing deeply as you placed your hands down on Satoru’s wide shoulders. He furrowed his brows at you but said nothing else; strong, cautious hands sliding down from your back before they settled at the curve of your hips.

“Keep your hands to yourself, Mister. I won’t hesitate to stab a fork through your jugular right here.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I know you’re not my little angel anymore.”

Angel. It was what he used to call you back then – when you were still but an innocent, naïve being who never believed in monsters until you fell for one.

He was right; you were no longer his angel. The woman he loved had been left abandoned in the street, the purity of her soul tainted with anger and heartbreak that soon bathed in blood and the need for revenge. His angel was no more – the woman he danced with was nothing but a replica of the face and body he adored the most. Now, you danced with him, not as his angel and neither as his rival’s wife, but simply as a woman whose kindness had long vanished into thin air.

Satoru danced with the devil.

And he should be disgusted just as you should be repulsed with how sickeningly smooth and graceful he was in everything he did, but the wine – yes, it was the fucking wine – messed with you that you actually enjoyed it. Your bodies moved in rhythm and syncopated with the beat, the romantic high notes of the violin and the tender embrace of deep trebles like a classical painting coming to life and you were its subjects to be expressed.

Perhaps…you were just sad. You grieved and mourned too much you’d momentarily forgot what love was, in turn making you forget what it felt like to be constantly unsafe and peeking over your shoulder in case someone tried to kill you.

Satoru just felt so warm, so safe and alive that you found your head dipping lower, your muscles relaxing around his soothing and undeniably tender touch, the space between your bodies diminishing until you surrendered to the power of your desire. You were so close, your ear about to press on his chest to listen to the blissful sound of someone’s reassuring heartbeat along with the music, and then you saw him.

A tuft of blonde hair, a chiseled face, a nude cream suit and a deep blue shirt beneath – what the fuck was he doing here?

The spell was broken in an instant.

Satoru must’ve been under the same trance for his hand trailed lower to pull you closer, your chests grazing with one another before you placed your palm flat on his body, lips thinned into a grim look that resonated with the sick, twisting feeling in your guts.

“I,” you croaked out, clearing your throat when it went dry. “I need to go to the ladies.”

You left Satoru without another word, bunching your dress up to run to where he had disappeared. He was still walking coolly and inspecting the paintings hung in the empty lobby with faux interest – although knowing him, the bastard probably did enjoy classical pieces and studied about them in his free time; which he didn’t have much to begin with.

As if sensing your presence, he stopped right in front of a replica of The Sleeping Venus, his hands dug deep in his pockets. “The shape of being is the visual demonstration of a state of being in which idealized existence is suspended in immutable slow-breathing harmony. All the sensuality has been distilled off from this sensuous presence, and all incitement; Venus denotes not the act of love but the recollection of it. The perfect embodiment of Giorgione’s dream, she dreams his dream herself,” he narrates in his baritone voice, “A little cordial, is it not?”

You took your gun out from your thigh holster and lowered it right at the back of his skull. “Don’t move another inch.”

“No need to be so hostile in a public setting, Y/N. I’m only here to look out for you and making sure you’re not forgetting who you are. Killing me isn’t part of the plan.”

“Neither was murdering my husband,” you growled, pushing the barrel harder against him, though the man didn’t budge before you. “I know that it wasn’t Toji who set off the bomb, Kento, you did.”

“We simply saw an opportunity that couldn’t be wasted. Two notorious mafia leaders in an unsuspecting supposed safe environment?” The fact he didn’t even deny it left you speechless. Kento spun around until your gun rested between his eyes, and he languidly pushed his glasses up his high nose as he looked down on you. “We could’ve killed two birds with one stone had you not been in the way.”

“You guys are out to kill me too now?”

“Don’t act too surprised. The Organization isn’t patient enough to wait for both leaders to die.”

“So you killed my husband?!” you argued, “He was my friend, I told you not to touch him!”

“Only in the exchange that you hand him to us,” Kento echoed, jogging your memory until you were kept up to date. “But it’s been five years and what has happened so far? You’re fraternizing with the enemy and even manufacturing drugs for your so-called husband. Now that he’s dead, you’re here in Italy, looking as stunning as ever as you wine and dine with a former lover,” Kento tilted his head to the side to study your appearance – smiling at how you seemed too bright and fashionable for a woman in supposed mourning.

“I hardly believe you’re actually affected by this at all.”

“How dare you! I’ve proven to no end my loyalty of the higher-ups!”

Kento didn’t bat an eye at your outburst. If anything, he stepped closer to your weapon. “Kill me if you wish, Y/N, but know the moment you put a bullet in my head, the Organization will place you on the same pedestal as Naoya’s and Gojo’s. I wouldn’t recommend such methods considering we’re already at unease on whose side you’re really on. If you do this, you will be our enemy.”

“I did everything for the Organization. What else would you want from me?”

“The contract was easy. We want both leaders – whether dead or alive – in our custody. If you don’t hold your side of the deal, it’s not only your life that we’ll take from you,” Kento pulled out a red coin that made your heart sink deep into your stomach for it served as a threat over the consequences of your actions.

He lowered your gun with the coin and smirked at you, his lips right beside the shell of your ear as he purred, “I suggest you be careful with what step of action you take next.”

“Oi, Nanami, you’re here!” Satoru’s voice suddenly boomed in the hallway. Nanami was as unbothered as ever from taking a step away from you, nodding to your gun which you quickly concealed right before Satoru arrived. You were frozen – rendered immobile with the flashing red metal from his palm – that you couldn’t even protest against Satoru wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “I see you’ve met Mrs. Zen’in already.”

“Hmm, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Madam,” taking your hand in his, Kento’s eyes were nothing but eerie as he kissed your knuckles. “Shall we start our discussion?”

SUKI RANTS! Nanami quoted Sydney Joseph Friedberg (an art critic) in one of his dialogues. A little backstory on the painting was that the portrait was originally made by Giorgone, who had a student and also his lover (if I’m not mistaken) called Titian. Giorgone never finished the portrait because he died from the plague but Titiane finished it for him, symbolizing that Y/N still has a mission that connected her from Naoya even after his death and she has to finish something he started. The portrait is of a nude woman that symbolized oneness of nature and that the woman isn’t posed for the gaze of men, but rather they are dreaming, hence the quote: “Venus denotes not the act of love but the recollection of it. The perfect embodiment of Giorgione’s dream, she dreams his dream herself.” Nanami said the painting’s meaning resonated with Y/N’s situation too much since she wasn’t in love with Naoya, but she had a recollection of their moments that still represented their relationship, and that Naoya’s dream (goals) are also shared by Reader. I was gonna ask you guys what your theories are on that scene but I think this makes me sound cooler if I explain it so *lip bite emoji because I’m still broken over Naoya’s death*

taglist open (lmk if you want to be added/removed):

@sixeyesgojo @shingekiyofeels @q-the-rockaholic @whatthefuckisthatthing @rogueofbullshit @kat-su-ki @kellyyween @sebootyforlife @asshxcm @charlie-xo @aoi-turtle @ladywaifuuwrites @savantsoulfinder @my-reality-is-in-my-head @hannya-quinn @90s-belladonna @tinyfrogsinmybrain @kinekyuroo @evesmores @ambiguous-something @lilith412426 @kakashiharusohma @aizawap @yumeneji @dora-the-grownup @jotazinha @themrsgojo @d34r-s4t4n @marai-t @toji-bee @hai-cool @badsadbby @stesphy @peach-buns-unicorns @misslezah @gracefullyfallinglikeanime @iwaplant @mikiminaccch @riri-marley | bolded users cannot be tagged

398 notes · View notes

nakamoto-aesthetics · 4 years ago

Text

Phone Sex | j.jh

synopsis: you were horny and couldn’t cum properly so you decide to facetime your boyfriend

pairing: boyfriend!jaehyun x fem!reader

genre: smut, a crumb of fluff

warning: masturbation (fem!male)

word count: 1.6k

“baby?” jaehyuns raspy voice fills your ears, suggesting that he was sleeping prior to this call like you’d thought.

“hi babe, I can’t sleep so I called you but you’re… sleeping” you looked at him, visibly disappointed. how were you gonna get off now? you felt bad about calling him this late.

“no, it’s okay baby” he says lowly and holds the phone higher, resting the back of his hand against his eyes. you could see his collarbone peeking out from the loose shirt he was wearing; his hair going in different directions, his slightly puffy face and lips. all of it turned you on.

you slip your right hand into your pants and begin to tease yourself over your panties, moving your index finger up and down your clothed slit. you close your eyes for a split second letting out a small staggered breath.

“so why can’t you sleep?” you hear shuffling from the other side of the screen and see him moving up to turn on his light.

“because I can’t stop thinking about you,” this was in fact true, it was why you were in this position now. you tried to use your imagination, pictures, videos any thing to get the boy off your mind before but none of it worked. you just needed something of him in real time so this is what you came up with.

“well, you woke me up from a dream… that you were in so in a way I was thinking about you too” he takes his hand off his eyes and smiles softly, his dimples showing; his voice was still raspy and deep in this moment. the whole scenery set you off and you had to slip your hands under your panties, feeling all your wetness pool at your fingertips. you let out a soft noise, your face contouring with it.

“what was that?” jaehyuns eyebrows are furrowed.

“uh… I hurt myself, so every time I move my leg it hurts” you quickly make up a lie.

“aw baby,” he pouts and that’s how you know some part of him bought it. “I wish I could kiss it better. what happened?”

“…I hit it on the table leg when I was getting up” you bit your lip, careful not to let out any moans as you watch him bit his lip with a concerned look.

“my poor baby. i’ll kiss it better when I come over tomorrow”

“yes you will” you say with a devilish look. what you were thinking was very dirty, enough to make you throb excessively. you slip your index finger inside yourself, thinking about him eating you out. you slowly thrust your finger into yourself, releasing low, throaty moans.

“y/n” jaehyun says firmly, his tone changing almost immediately. you hum innocently, knowing that any second he was gonna catch on. you paid attention to him, slowing down your fingers.

“what are you doing?” jaehyun was definitely awake now, that was obvious. his whole face was in the camera and his eyebrow was cocked up, looking at you.

“uh… i’m totally not getting off to you” you fake laugh and advert your eyes. you could’ve lied but having to make a lie was tiring and at the same time you kind of wanted him to know.

“you little slut, I should’ve gone with my gut feeling” jaehyun shakes his head thinking deeply before looking back at you. “so you called me at 3 in the morning to get off?”

“that’s right jae now if you will excuse me” you begin to move your finger again, speeding up since he’s already figured it out. on the flip slide, jaehyun whispers the words “fucking slut” and continues to watch you attentively for your facial expressions; it wasn’t long after you notice this and let out a string of profanities, breathily moaning.

“babygirl, let me see that pretty pussy. you wanna open up for me?” you don’t say anything and put the phone down, hurriedly striping your lower half completely naked. you grab the phone and position it between your legs so your legs were spread on either side of the phone. the phone itself was in the center allowing him to see everything.

“damn, look at how wet you are princess. I would lick all of it up in an instant” you hear movement in the background on the other side but don’t think any of it. you slide your hand to your hole, rubbing circles around it, wanting to tease him and yourself.

“jae” you bite your lip, moaning softly.

“babygirl” he bites his lip. he could still see some of your face from the new angle which he was thankful for. he looked to see the way your face reacted to things.

you slide your finger inside and start to go at normal speed, you use your other hand to tease him by running your hands all over your body. you hear him grunt, along with sounds coming from his side, sounds of… small skin slapping and that’s when you put it together.

“jae?”

“yes baby?”

“are you…” you trail off by yourself and he hums, confirming your thought. you bite your lip and speed up a little bit; god you found that so hot.

“now listen to me pretty girl, you’re gonna do exactly what I say alright?” he says, expecting no question to come from it. you hum obediently and wait for his first direction.

“add another finger” he bites his lip harshly and you do as he says, adding another digit. you moan aloud when you feel your pussy stretching. you hear him grunt and the sound of skin slapping gets faster.

“jae I want to see you too” you whine.

“right, sorry baby” you watch him as he repositions his phone. you have to stop yourself from cuming right then and there once his phone is set up and directed right at his area. the farthest you could see was up to his mid stomach and the lowest was his upper thighs. the sight was so hot especially because of his abs and the way they contracted when he stroked his dick. you wanted to lick him up and down. jaehyun had a hot ass body, everyone knew that but you were the only one who got to touch it.

you move your fingers faster, causing him to stroke himself faster. his dick is so pretty, you thought. it may have been weird to verbally admit that but never had it been hard to express it; you often gave him blow jobs and hand jobs just because you loved his dick and the way it reacted to your every move, plus it was just undeniably pretty. this moment was so hot for both of you. the two of you watching each other get off to the other felt so sexy to you.

“jae i-im g-gonna-” you let out a choked moan.

“add another finger and cum for me pretty girl” he groans as his hand starts to speed up. moans and grunts start to fall from his mouth as do yours. you add one more finger just like he says and you let out a lewd moan. your pussy contracting around your fingers as you begin to thrust at an animalistic pace as does his hand, groans and moans are released from both of you, mixing together beautifully.

“jaehyun!” you scream as your hips go into a frenzy, pushing out your warm cum, letting it drip down your centerfold. all meanwhile, his cum spurts out of the slit and land on his abs, thighs, and of course dick. damn was that hot? you swore you would’ve licked him clean if you were there.

“damn babygirl” he breathes heavily and gets up walking out out the frame for a few seconds before returning with a towel to clean himself up. he was all on display for you and so were you considering you hadn’t moved from your position.

“jae” you whine and pout, he hums in response and looks at the screen. “two things, you’re so fucking hot and I want cuddles” he chuckles at that and continues to clean himself.

“two things, you’re the hot one and tomorrow i’ll cuddle you babygirl, I promise” he states and you scrunch your nose, shaking your head at his first statement. he walks out of frame again and comes back with a pair of boxers on. he sits down on his bed and grabs the phone, returning to the position he was in when he first answered the phone.

“clean up babe” he says softly, looking at the mess of liquids all over your pussy.

“i will babe don’t worry” you reach down and grab the phone, pulling it up to you so that he was only looking at your face. jaehyun hated to sit in his cum and so he hated when you did it. “I guess I should go to sleep so then tomorrow will come” he smiles sweetly and nods.

“okay, i’ll see you tomorrow. goodnight I love you pretty girl” jaehyun reaches up to turn off his light and it gets dark, the only light present being the moon, and it was now illuminating on jaehyuns face, highlighting his features.

“goodnight, I love you too jae” you create a kiss sound with your lips and he does the same before hanging up the phone.

you place your phone down, quickly cleaning yourself up with a nearby shirt because you were too lazy to get up and grab a towel like jae. you sigh and pull the comforter up to your neck; not bothering to put on any clothes. you’ll wash the sheets later you decide, closing your eyes, and sighing happily as you bite your lip.

so fucking worth it.

NCT Masterlist

#nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct fluff #nct smut #nct jaehyun #jaehyun x reader #jung jaehyun #jung yoonoh #jeong jaehyun #jaehyun #jaehyun smut #jung jaehyun smut #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun x y/n #jaehyun imagines #nct x reader #nct 127 #nct

652 notes · View notes

kirschteinsj · 4 years ago

Text

Pinky Promises

Nanami x fem! reader

Warnings: nothing too much! maybe language but overall just a bunch of fluff and lovey dovey stuff

Word Count: 2.9k

Summary: Domestic Nanami and reader, just thinking about how much they love each other. sappy and cute stuff.

A/N: Hi! ^_^ Second time posting, I’ve had this one shot saved for a bit now! finally posting it lolz. I've noticed a lot of people have written domestic Nanami pics or drawn art, very glad society as a whole has this perception of him. it truly heals the soul I think. anyway, I hope u like this and sorry if there’s any grammar errors I wasnt able to catch U_U im thinking of doing a hc post next.... unsure hm, we’ll see ^_^!!

“I’m hooooome.” He says loudly as he steps through the apartment door, setting his briefcase down and taking off his beige coat. Putting down the grand kitchen knife she was using to chop up spinach, she rushed to the door with a smile and engulfed the tall blonde into a tight hug, saying hello. She took a deep breath, inhaling the soft scent of his cologne, the smell of something sour and musty soon taking over. Her face scrunched up and she let out a giggle.

“Oh god, Nanami, you stink, what did you go against today?”

“Nothing too bad. Just a grade 3,” He sighed “A smelly grade 3.” He sounded disappointed, probably because he knew he stunk too. Though the smell was horrendous, she still remained in his arms and he still held on just as tight.

“Are you tired? I was thinking of making dinner with you tonight but if you’re too tired I can-”

“No no. I’m fine. Just let me wash up and I’ll help out.”

“You sure?” She asked looking up towards him, questioning once more to reassure. He looked down and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head.

“I’m sure, dear.”

While he showers upstairs, she gets back to readying the ingredients so they could begin cooking their masterpiece as soon as possible. Tonight she had chosen chicken alfredo with a tossed salad; One could say it was her favourite, but saying that would imply that she would eat it when cooked and served by whomever. But to her, she would only eat it when it was him who had made it for her.

Y/n adored him. He adored her. To her, he was her light. She could simply not imagine life without him, not after he had come in and changed her in such a way. She never in a million years would have thought to be so in love with someone. To have known someone who cared enough to hear all about her day or listen to all her tangents, whether they made sense or not. Who listened to her talk forever about anything just so he could see the faint glow of passion in her eyes. Someone who remembered the small details in regards to the things she loved and the things she despised; Like how she hated the feeling of peanut butter on her fingers and how she absolutely admired the scent of fresh pages in a new book. Sometimes, she felt undeserving of him.

He admired her like no other. Never did he believe he’d be capable of opening up to anyone in such a way, at least not until she walked into his life. He could write a million lists, all full of everything he loved about her. The way she smiled cheekily at him after a witty remark, how she'd give every hug as if it was the last, the way she was oh so patient with him. It took him time to become vulnerable in the slightest, he just didn’t know how to do so without burdening her. She knew his job was hard, he’d told her. But rather than running away like he expected, she stayed with him right by his side. She refused to leave him over that. If anything, it made her want to stay more since she felt the need to be there for him. It felt like a punch to the gut but a good one. “So, is this love?” He had asked himself then. Nanami had someone who brought out the much more joyful side to him. At the end of the day, he knew he’d walk through the front door only to see her, arms wide open and with a big smile offering a cozy hug. She was his home. Sometimes, he felt undeserving of her.

Putting the final piece of broccoli into the container, she tidies any clutter and went back to their shared bedroom. Sinking into the bed and falling on it with a plush thump, she lets out a deep sigh mixed with some sort of a groan. She herself was exhausted from work too to say the least. She didn’t deal with curses or anything like that, but she did teach a class of 9 year olds which one could consider just as frustrating. Yawning, she checks her phone to read the time: 6:15 PM. Nanami hadn’t been in the shower for too long, a small nap wouldn’t hurt. Quickly, she settled for a little 30 minute nap. That way, she could get up soon enough to help him out in the kitchen and not abandon him to do everything on his own. She turns her phone off and slowly, her eyes shut.

…

Y/n slowly opens her eyes and notices a grey throw blanket placed on her, something that she doesn’t recall going to bed with earlier. “Must’ve been Nanami.” Grabbing her phone, she turns the screen on, wincing at the incredible blue light piercing into her skull. “Fuck.” she mumbles. Once her eyes adjust, she glances back at the screen for the time: 7:30.

“FUCK,” she says, voice croaking “I overslept.” With the speed of light, she leaves bed and runs down the hall to the bathroom to freshen up. She soon makes her way over to the kitchen silently, slightly ashamed and guilty. Y/n mumbles a whine with a frown, “He’s probably done making things now. I could have helped.”

The kitchen is filled with the delicate scents of sauces, cheese and herbs. She watches him from the door frame, admiring her boyfriend. He stood in front of the stove mixing at the sauce for the alfredo, which scent alone made her mouth water. Nanami seems to be in his own world, as he stands humming to himself softly, stirring the pot of sauce and adding in the broccoli and spinach, not seeming to notice y/n. With a final stir, he carefully sets the lid and turns to rinse his hands. Her gaze sits upon his figure, how his grey oversized shirt slightly clings to his shoulders and loosens as it goes down his body. Looking down, she noticed the bright red christmas pyjamas he had on, the ones with adorable little reindeers all over them. Grinning, she remembers how she had bought those for him. She purchased a matching set for the two of them and insisted on wearing them all day on Christmas last year. Nanami had responded to the idea with a stern “No” which left y/n in shambles. She didn’t expect him to agree, but hey, a girl can dream. However, on Christmas day, lo and behold, she had woken up to find Nanami sitting on the couch, watching the news with his reindeer PJs on. Immediately, she had attacked him with hugs and kisses and all Nanami did was sit there and accept them, secretly loving it the whole time.

A deep voice throws her out of her thoughts. “You know, it’s rude to stare, right?”

Y/n chuckles quietly and makes her way over, wrapping her arms around him from behind, snuggling into his back.

“I like to stare at you, you’re cute,” she breathes in his scent once again, “ah, you smell so much better now. Like the nami I know.”

“I am not cute. I am a grown man.”

“C’mon, you can’t possibly be saying that right now. Not while you’re wearing these pants.” She coos, gently patting his butt. He goes silent, refusing to rebuttal knowing that he’s lost. He leans against the counter, his front facing her. Though he didn’t say anything, y/n sees this as an open invite to his arms. The rope of his arms finds her waist this time, her arms in an embrace around his neck.

“Whatever, tell me, how was your day, hm?” He posed, changing the subject.

“Same old, yenno. The kids and I had a discussion today about drugs and safety. It was cute, hearing them rat out their neighbours for smoking cigs and talk about how yucky they thought alcohol is. It was… sweet. How was work for you, hon?”

“Shit.” He retorts, closing his eyes, “Work is shit.”

“Oh come ON, I’m sure it’s not always that bad, right? Say, how’s your friend doing, you know, the one who kinda looks like one of my makeup brushes! Isn’t he good company?”

“Yeah, if good company means having to deal with a nuisance to society on a daily basis then by all means, yes, Gojo is wonderful company.” He joked, loosening his grip on her and making his way over to the stove to check on his sauce. She follows, opening the first drawer and pulling out a silver spoon, “You’re so mean sometimes. I think he’s a great guy to be around! I met him once, such a flirt.”

He teases calmly, “If you love him so much, why don’t you get with him?”

Taking her spoon, she lowers it into the pot and brings it back up to her face, blowing on it carefully before she puts it to her lips to taste. “Hmm, I would. But I don’t think he’s as big as you. I’ll have to pass.” She smirked, putting the spoon into her mouth as he watched and sighed in disappointment.

He glares,“God, you’re something else.”

“I’m just kidding, babe.” Bringing her spoon down for another taste. He swats at her hand and she retreats it with a whine. “Don’t do that. You’ve tried it already, and will again when we get to eat.” He scolded tenderly, “Plus, you shouldn’t be given these privileges anyway. It’s not like you helped out or anything.” He smiled, teasing her.

“Nanamiiii, I’m sorry,” she whines, half laughing, “I promise, I was going to help! I just got a little bit sleepy and sort of lost track of time…” He turned over to her and lifted her face with a finger under her chin. Laughing, he delicately caresses her cheek, tapping it admirably with a curled finger. The blonde chuckles and looks her in the eyes, “I’m just joking with you, love. I know you’ve been tired lately, I can tell. Why haven’t you been resting?”

Her smile falls and she sighs. Y/n wrapped her arms around his waist and brought him into her, hiding her face into his chest. It was true, she was exhausted but she didn’t deem it to be anything so serious. Work was just heavy this past week from having to grade her students’ work in time for report cards. All she wanted was the best for her kids and was finding ways to get the kids out of their comfort zones enough to do well in class. That reminded her, Nanami also mentioned having a student of his own.

She takes her face out of his chest and glances upwards. “It’s just this week of work, I promise I’ll be back to normal soon. I’ve just been busy with lesson plans and activities, yenno. Anyway, speaking of students, how’s the one you’ve been assigned to?” She posed in a soft tone. Half smiling, he turned around to add the strained pasta to the sauce, scattering it into the pot.

“He’s special. Quite lively. And cheerful. He reminds me of you sometimes,” his voice strains as he stretches to grab the bowl of cooked chicken to finally add into the pot, finishing the meal, “He’s got potential.” Y/n beamed with happiness. Nanami really seemed to like this kid and if he thought you had potential, then it sure as hell meant you had it.

She lets out a squeal, “EEEEEEK!!! That sounds amazing! I’m so happy for you!” Nanami suppressed a laugh and rolled his eyes, “It’s not that-”

“This calls for a drink, don’t you think?” She babbled with excitement, “We should have some wine! Right?”

Grabbing her wrist as she skipped her way over to the bottle, he reminded her, “You have school tomorrow. You always end up having more than needed and struggle to wake up in the morning.” Y/n frowned at his words, to which he noticed and tried to fix, “Tomorrow’s Friday, you can drink plenty tomorrow, hm? I’ll drink with you.”

“Ugh, fine. You’re right. But you have to promise.”

“I promise you ca-”

“No! You have to pinky-promise.” She demanded, pouting as he stuck out her pinky finger.

His heart skips a beat. Was she always this cute? Her angelic eyes stare into his tired ones. Bottom lip poking out, awaiting Nanami’s pinky to interlock with her own. He knew she took pinky-promises very seriously despite her grown age. It was among one of the many petty details that he cherished. Something about this pinky-promise was enough for her to ensure trust onto someone, it made him laugh. Her naivety is what made her so kind hearted, what allowed her to see the best in people. He felt that this naivety is why they’re together to begin with. He didn’t ever think she’d give him a chance. He reminisced of their first few encounters. The way she did her hair back then, the way she dressed, her shy smile and how she’d look at the floor whenever she’d blush. Maybe it was her timid nature that made him fall head over heels for her. Or maybe it was her generosity. Perhaps her beauty. He was unable to simply confine the reasoning for his infatuation with just a few traits. She grew overtime, more comfortable and less shy, she was more confident around him but he knew he could still make her blush so badly that she’d have to hide her face from him. He enjoyed their banter, her company. He felt it was luck. Or maybe it was fate. Who knows. He didn’t want to think so much about it. He wanted to live in the moment, adore her in this present time. In that instance, he felt the strong urge to kiss her. And so he did.

The kiss was short and sweet, yet full of an unfathomable amount of love. It took her aback, she didn’t quite see it coming. She too stood in the present moment, then and there, cherishing the man she loved.

His lips leave hers and he extends the smallest finger on his hand, declaring, “I pinky-promise.” And a ginormous grin washes over her face. In a whisper, she squeals and scoops her arms around his torso, resting her head onto his chest. They stay like this for a while, not too long really, but to them it felt like an eternity being in each other’s affectionate embrace. He goes to speak and she feels the vibrating boom of his voice make his way up from his chest.

“I love you.”

She sighs, “I love you too.”

Turning her head, y/n smoothly gets on her tip toes and clasps her arms around his neck, giving it a tender kiss and attempting to make a trail leading up to his sharp jaw. Catching onto her tactics he laughs, putting his big hand against her face and pushing her back.

“Seriously?” He chuckles, “You couldn’t wait till after dinner? Come on, take out the plates.”

“Wait for what? I was just kissing you! You’re so dramatic, Nami.” She lies, playing innocent. She knew damn well what she was trying to do. She wasn’t going to admit to it though. Taking out the plates and utensils, she readied the table.

…

After dinner and meaningless conversation, the two lovers tidied and headed towards their room. “Do yo wana wah a mohee tomowwow nie?” Y/n proposed from the bathroom as she brushed her teeth. He perks his head up, confused, “Do I want to what?” She spat into the sink and rinsed her mouth, repeating her question.

“I said, do you wanna watch a movie tomorrow night? Like at home? There’s this documentary I saw on Netflix, it looks really good! It’s crime related.”

“That sounds fine with me. Though, that’s only possible if you don’t end up drinking too much. I always have to get you to sleep early when you drink.” He states nonchalantly, nose poked into a thick book. She rolls her eyes and smiles, “I promise I won’t drink all that much.” Shifting his book to the opposing hand, Nanami silently takes his pinky finger and holds it out to y/n. She snickers and reciprocates.

“You’ve now pinky-promised. Don’t break it, y/n.”

“I never do.”

The nightstand lamp illuminates the room with a soft yellow glow. Shadows of objects on the nightstand hang on the walls. Laying in bed on her phone, y/n turns over to Nanami, who was still reading his book. “Nami, come lay next to me, I wanna cuddle. Please?” Her voice faint. He looks down at her and puts his book away immediately. He could use a cuddle too. Bringing himself down, he lays on his back, y/n closing the gap between the two. Their legs intertwine, her arm and head resting on his chest while one of his hands rested on her bum, the other dotingly playing with her hair. Neither of them spoke a word for a while. Until y/n broke the silence.

“So, were there no other pairs of pants you had left to wear or-”

“Please, be quiet.”

318 notes · View notes

funnywormz · 2 years ago

Text

watched the whole of guillermo del toro's cabinet of curiosities and figured i would make a lil post abt it since i watched the whole thing lol. im gonna put it below a readmore link so i won't annoy ppl with it bc it got sorta long........ this isn't a proper review or anything just my silly lil thoughts. there are minor spoilers below, jsyk

my episode rankings from best to worst + rating out of 5:

1) the murmuring 4.5/5

2) the viewing 4/5

3) the autopsy 3/5

4) the outside 2.5/5

5) lot 36 2/5

6) graveyard rats 1.5/5

7) pickman's model 0/5

8) dreams in the witch house 0/5

my overall rating is probably like. 2.5/5. i was hyped up for it bc it's guillermo del toro yknow....... but i was disappointed honestly. it's mediocre overall. if you're gonna watch any of it i would definitely recommend the murmuring and the viewing, but i can't rlly find it in me to recommend the rest LOL.

an overall pattern with the episodes is that they have good build up and atmosphere for the first 30 minutes or so, but completely fail to follow through after that. the two aforementioned episodes are the exception, i rlly liked both of them and felt they delivered well.

a little summary review of the episodes in order:

1) lot 36

lot 36 had great build up and an awesome atmosphere. i liked the set design and the general message of it was really good. however the last few minutes were honestly just. stupid. and i found it a little boring to watch bc the main character was such an asshole it was difficult to relate to him or care abt the fact that he was about to get eaten by a demon. it wasn't bad but it was just sorta eh

2) graveyard rats

this one was honestly more of a silly dark comedy than actual horror imo. but it wasn't really campy or silly enough to hold my attention, so it just straddled this awkward zone between not being scary enough to be horror and not being funny enough to be a dark comedy. it got boring fast, there are only so many minutes of a guy crawling in a tunnel and whimpering you can make me watch before i get tired of it and this episode definitely exceeded that limit LOL. if you're into gore and body horror that side of it is pretty decent, but personally that's not the main thing i look for in a horror story so it just wasn't interesting to me.

3) the autopsy

the autopsy was another episode with great build up that just failed to follow through for me. the atmosphere was great, i liked the vibes and the initial autopsy scenes, i had some pretty high hopes for it. but the last part just felt silly and too much in poor taste for me. like maybe if you're into body horror you'd like it more? but the whole "super scary spooky evil alien getting his rocks off on human suffering" thing was just. too stupid for me

4) the outside

i LOVED the set design and general setting for this one. once again, great atmosphere, great build up, stupid ending. the message of it was honestly just kinda outdated as well. the main character was likeable at first but quickly became obnoxious and impossible to root for or empathise with which made the episode boring to watch. her husband was so blatantly meant to be a stand in for the audience and a "voice of reason" type character that it was hard to get immersed into the story. the characters in general were just. not great. and the "twist" of "it was a creature!" at the end was just so stupid imo sorry if that's harsh lol. i appreciated the visuals and how weirdly horny it was for no reason lmao but honestly it didn't have many other redeeming qualities

5) pickman's model

this one just didn't grab me at all. the characters weren't charismatic or interesting and the plot was just so obvious and overdone with the whole "what if there was a scary painting BUT IT WAS REAL!!!!!" thing. the scene where the creature appears and drags pickman off was pretty cool but other than that it just sucked honestly. extremely boring, not scary whatsoever and not interesting or fun or anything else.

6) dreams in the witch house

oh boy this shit sucked so bad LOL. just right from the beginning it was silly (but not in a good or fun way), poorly acted, boring, and extremely not scary. the only bit that even vaguely scared me was the "OH MY GOD IT'S INSIDE ME" part but that's just bc it's a trope that always freaks me out (i still can't watch the chestburster scene in alien lmao). the dialogue was predictable and cheesy and the characters were bland as hell. it was just not good sorry

7) the viewing

FINALLY I CAN BE POSITIVE ok this one ruled i loved it. great performances from charlyne yi and eric andre especially. it has a slow build up but makes up for that with an awesome atmosphere and amazing set. the characters are all clearly established with their own motivations and personalities. the direction the plot goes in is a little bit predictable, but that's probably the biggest flaw it has. it's also darkly comedic in a way that works in this episode, unlike some of the others. and the creature design rules

8) the murmuring

they definitely saved the best for last in this anthology. this one is awesome. great acting, and you can really feel deeply for both characters. it takes just the right amount of time building up the tension. the setting is so wonderful and atmospheric, it's visually brilliant. there were also some moments where i felt genuinely scared and tense which is more than i can say for most of the other episodes. it was possibly a little rushed at the end but nothing major. some really creepy off-putting moments combined with great visuals and a compelling plot and setting. if you're more of a body horror/slasher/etc type of person then this episode might not be your thing, but personally i prefer a "creeping feeling of dread" kind of horror so this was right up my alley.

obv these are just my personal takes and i know a lot of this is down to my own personal taste and preferences. ive read some reviews where the reviewer has the exact opposite of my opinions on every episode lol. if you liked episodes i didn't like then please don't take this personally or anything, and in general i don't want this post to be interpreted as some kind of attack on the series. i just wanted to share my personal thoughts on it, and unfortunately this one wasn't rlly for me overall, but that doesn't mean that there isn't someone out there who will love it!

5 notes · View notes

kojinnie · 4 years ago

Text

Something About Pain | Reiner Braun

Pairing: Reiner Braun x Reader (she/her pronoun)

Summary: You ran away from home and your boyfriend Reiner Braun is desperate to bring you home. When the two of you meet, you share a conversation about how pain inflicts the two of you differently.

Tags & Warning: Angst, (eventual) fluff, (mild) hurt/comfort, slow burn, major miscommunication problem, past trauma, abandonment issue, mention of anxiety, Reiner is a grumpy, hurt individual yet delicate inside | SFW

Word Count: 4.5K

A/N: Based on the request by @okubean for Twisted Match-Up! I hope you like it, boo! (More A/N at the end of the fic)

.::My Masterlist::.

Twisted Match-Up (x Reader): Zeke | Hange | Jean

There was a vivid look of worry on the face of Reiner Braun as he drove through the empty neighborhood streets. His right hand on the steering wheel, the other one tapping anxiously on the phone, dialing the same number over and over again to no avail.

All of his calls had gone straight to your mailbox, and his text messages were no longer delivered. Reiner came to realize that you've blocked him. "Idiot," he muttered to himself, cursing this whole modern affinity to accommodate people running from their problems easier. Reiner thought the feature was the stupidest thing ever created by humankind, he was pissed, but more annoyed. He realized how tired he was, and if he could, he'd rather be in bed right now. Not roaming your friend's neighborhood at ungodly hour.

"Where... the fuck... are you..." he was pissed, evident from the grunt as he tried one final desperate attempt to call you. It went straight to your mailbox. Your cheery voice didn't make him feel any better, if any, Reiner wished he could tell the mailbox-you to shut the hell up.

Reiner finally hit the brake, sighing annoyed. His black SUV stopped underneath the streetlamp, at a random neighborhood he could only vaguely remember. He had been here before, when he picked you up from your bestfriend's house after one of your "night out" with your friends from college, but he could barely remember which one of these identical suburban houses did she live.

He rested his forehead on the steering wheel, racking his brain trying to remember the house number. Is this even the correct cul-de-sac? There are tens others. Who the fuck came up with the concept of suburban housing? Strips and strips of uniformed houses. And even worse, who the fuck thought that it was such a great idea to live in one? Like some Stepford Wives nightmare. Reiner couldn't believe some people would save up money for all their lives to pay off their mortgage to live in complete conformity, like a communist utopia with capitalist credit system. Were these people right in the head or had their brains fucked over by the boring 9 to 5 jobs they've had for decades?

That's beside the point. Reiner sighed. He ranted a lot when frustrated.

He knew you'd be there, in one of these houses, curled up crying in your bestfriend's bed, perhaps pouring your heart out on how much of a bad boyfriend Reiner was. He knew because you've passed the micro-aggression millionth times, muttering under your breath, saying that you'd be fine if Reiner kicks you out because your bestfriend would take you. What kind of fuckery was all that? Why would he ever kick you out? Reiner thought. He was clueless. Why were you so adamant that he would leave you eventually? Reiner could feel his annoyance grew while reminiscing your antics. He began to think, maybe he had never understood you to begin with.

But Reiner was wrong, because he was right about a lot of things about you. You were exactly in your bestfriend's house, curled up in her bed, ranting how hard it was being with Reiner. Although the tears had dried since hours ago. You were in your PJs and drinking the hot coco your friend had made you, comfortable in the bliss of obliviousness upon the fact that your boyfriend of one year was now driving aimlessly trying to locate your position. You were adamant that he was going to leave you anyway, you thought he wouldn't exert an ounce of energy trying to plea you home.

It was 4 AM in the morning and you hadn't come home. The trace of you had gone completely from Reiner's apartment since early morning. Reiner knew that this was bound to happen, had he done anything differently - would you stay? He thought of you and the state that the two of you had been tangled in. All the unresolved tension, or the persistent insinuations coming from you that you always shrugged off in the end, saying "Nothing." as if it did not matter, each time Reiner shot them with, "What did you say?"

You sipped your hot coco and let a troubled whimper as you told your bestfriend what was happening. It's the culmination of small things, your feeling of inadequacy and the anxiety of waking up every morning, being convinced that each day would be the day that Reiner finally leaves you. Every day you’d be mentally preparing yourself for the ultimate fate until Reiner returns home with his big, warm hug until your anxiety caves in. And that the anxiety would appear again in the next morning.

The idea of him leaving became incessant and you could never bug it off. You wondered why, maybe because you believed that you were inherently flawed. Maybe it's the way Reiner made that small "Tsk," when he came home to see the garbage piled up, "Babe, didn't I tell you to put out the garbage?"; or the deep, annoyed and condescending sighs he made when he missed his favorite show because you forgot to pay the cable bills while he was out at the office.

Maybe it's the way you couldn't match his sharp memory and reliability with you constantly forgetting things and your seeming inattentiveness despite the abundant reminders, notes and alarms you've made to keep yourself alerted. At times, your mind just wandered, and you needed him to rope you back in, but he never got the gist.

So, you were adamant that you had grown to be nothing but inconvenience for him, hence when he spent the night over at his office due to what he called "Shit load of work" over the phone, you were certain he wouldn't come back at all. You knew that the pain of being abandoned would haunt you to myriad of miseries, so you'd rather leave first. You knew it would be the end you both needed, because you knew Reiner did not care about you enough to tolerate your shit any longer. He was always quiet, there was hardly ever any expression on his face, God knows what he was thinking underneath. Each of your "Reiner, I'm sorry." would only be met by a singular hum or a quick, "It's okay." that left you wondering, did he ever mean it at all?

So that morning you left. While he was still at the office, because you knew there was no feelings strong enough for Reiner to keep him from leaving you eventually. You left first.

Your bestfriend nodded in reassurance, "You gotta do what you gotta do." she said pulling you into a warmly hug, but your attention was suddenly caught by the pile of plastics and packages from your take-outs at the corner of your friend's room. It just bothered your mind, and you got up to take it out. A small token of atonement to what you wish you had done to Reiner.

Your bestfriend immediately scrambled and took the garbage away from you. Insisting for you to stay in bed and let her take care of it. You nodded and retreated to the pillow fortress. You felt bad for her because the temperature was dropping, and there was no necessity to take the garbage out right now, but your impulse was often hard to subside, and your friend had grown to acknowledge and take sympathy over that. Unlike Reiner, you thought.

Maybe it's because Reiner never shown anyone openly about what he felt, but what you did not know, sometimes he wish he had. Sometimes he wished he'd opened up about how hard it is for him to breathe when unfortunate things occur that he did not have the answer to. Sometime he wished he could share his fear, worry, anger and disappointment, but he was always thought that a man got to suck it up, and perseverance was the only way he knew how to survive.

Sometimes he wished he had told somebody that the constant worrying about his loved ones consumed him too, to the point it became hard for him to let his guard down even when things are okay. He was always on alert, and sometimes it got exhausting too for him. He wished he had told all that, so in times like these he did not have to assume the heartbreak alone while trying to find the solution to it. Sometimes he wished people knew that he cared too, he loved too, he knew too when someone he loved was struggling, but he never learned how to show it. Reiner knew your mind often raced hundreds of miles per hour, Reiner knew your state of agitation, but he never had anyone to teach him how affection should look like, other than be of service, which he tried his best at being. It was no wonder that Reiner was left clueless when you chose to leave without warning.

He was pissed because he knew how daft he was, yet none of it was ever intentional. He cursed himself for not knowing what went wrong, for not being more observant, for not being open with his feelings, for not telling you how much he had grown to love you and how much his apartment immediately grew cold at your absence. But mostly, at this moment, he cursed himself because he wasn't attentive enough to know you friend's house number.

The air was crisp when your bestfriend stepped out of her porch. She made quick steps to the garbage can when she saw bright headlights coming in from the end of the street. She grunted, wondering what was her neighbor doing, cruising around with dramatically low speed. It seemed odd.

She put her fingers above her eyes, trying to recognize the plate number or the driver, but the black SUV lights were dispersing her sight.

She closed the garbage can and tried to immediately return inside but the car cruised closer and pulled over in front of her. The window rolled open.

"Hey," There was an immediate look of surprise from the person that Reiner barely recognized. But he was sure enough that it was her, judging from her body language; all tensed and alerted, "This is Reiner."

For a moment, there was an awkward silence between Reiner and your bestfriend. She was considering carefully on what to say next.

"Uhm yeah, I know." Your bestfriend finally spoke, her voice creaked, caught by surprise. "What do you want?"

Reiner spoke your name, "I want to meet my girlfriend." Reiner could hear the desperation in his own voice, but your friend jeered in response.

"My girlfriend." she passingly mocked the way Reiner spoke, she came to dislike what she thought was possessiveness in Reiner's nature of speaking, "She's not available. I suggest you to scram. Before my neighbors complain."

Reiner furrowed his brows in dismay, couldn't seem to understand the hostility presented by your friend, "I need to talk to her."

She stood unyielding. Reiner opened the door and climbed off of the car, sighing as he walked closer, propelling your friend to keep her distance away even further. "Please, let me talk to her."

"Not a chance." She turned around and scurried back into the house. Reiner was quick to yell, to her expected dismissal. Without thinking further, Reiner got back to behind the wheel and moved his car forward on to the curb, proceeding to close off the exit way for her small city car in the driveway.

Reiner jumped off the car as your besfriend realized what he had done, "I'm not moving the car until she comes down."

She let out a restraint shrieked, "What the fuck?! I got a dentist appointment tomorrow morning!"

"Then please, tell her to come down and talk to me," Reiner said, sounding almost apologetic. He threw a glance at a lonely swing set in the small park across the street, "there."

The occurrence happening before your eyes was unexpected to say the least. You closed the small slit from your bestfriend's window fold, trying to manage your heartbeat that had become almost deafening. At the same time your bestfriend appeared from the door, face red with flustered, "I think he really wants to see you."

Thousands of thoughts made a commotion in your head. It did not make any sense. You made it easier for Reiner by walking away with clean slate, you were sure this was what he had hoped secretly.

Your friend shuffled inside and shot you a deep stare, she sighed heavily and told you that whether you liked it or not, you had to face him. Reiner looked genuinely worried, she said, twisting your guts even further.

You sat in her bed for a moment, trying to relive every waking moment with Reiner. Sure there were moments when your own thoughts chased you into a deep corner and you wished Reiner had seen it. Sometimes you wished he’d hold you tight, kiss you with reassurance and told you how meaningful you were to him. Sure, sometimes being with Reiner could feel lonely, but he had never treated you back nor was he ever intentionally mean to you. What do I want? The question hung heavy in your mind.

I want him to say that he wants me, the voice within the nook of your brain said, I want him to say that he loves me.

You nodded, finally ceasing from running away further.

Reiner never thought that at his 20-something he would sit miserably on a random swing-set at a random neighborhood just an hour before the dusk cracked. Reiner was a big man, but even with his figure and the aid of his tailored suit and shirt, wrinkled after gruesome hours at work trying to keep his company afloat on the thin ice of his personal relationship with you – Reiner was tired, and miserable, and desperate. Even more, he was cold as the temperature continued to drop down.

He hung his head low, trying to fight the shivers. It was quiet, too quiet, only the faint sound of the wind and the creaking sound of the swing-set holding off to its dear life under Reiner’s massive weight. The man sighed, never he thought that the sight of you coming out of someone’s house in the dead of a night would be a spectacle he looked forward to the most.

He closed his eyes, shutting himself off from any sound and thought. Thinking that maybe in the bleakness of his sense, the time would pass faster and your heart would soften.

In the nothingness Reiner could feel a sudden warmth crept from the tips of his fingers, he opened his eyes to see you standing before his eyes, towering him who was sitting like a pathetic boy on the swing. You were wrapped in a fluffy bathrobe, hiding your PJs underneath. In your hands were two cups of scalding tea, you shoved one into his hand, “You came.” You stated.

Reiner let out a deep sigh of relief as he saw you safe and sound. He felt warmth travelled across his body, he did not know whether it was the tea in his hand or simply the sight of you that made him felt so. His eyes latched on to you as you sat on the swing next to him, “Hey. What are you doing?” Reiner asked.

“Running away.”

“Why?”

Reiner looked at you intently, and the guilt started to consume you. You gazed afar, softly shook your head, “Dunno.”

“I see.”

Yet another silence ensued.

“How’s work?”

Reiner sighed again; the heavy breath seemed to be the only way the two of you communicated. Just two troubled minds pouring their burden at each other, “Bertholdt abruptly resigned—fuck, it’s been a nightmare, but—” Reiner pressured his thumb over his brows, trying to ease his sharp migraine that suddenly came, “—that doesn’t matter now. Will you come home?”

He looked at you again, you were still gazing to god-knows-what, everything other than his eyes. Reiner grew antsy on his seat, the swing creaked again. Please look at me. Please look at me. The words resonated incessantly in Reiner’s head but nothing came out of his mouth. Just a stoic, to-the-point question.

Don’t you wanna know the problem, Reiner? Is that all? I said I don’t know and you didn’t even try to dig in deeper? You came all the way here and you just straight up asking me to go home with you? Your mind was nowhere better. It’s in uproar but there was only silence coming out of your mouth. But he came, he didn’t leave. Contradiction danced inside your mind like an unwanted guest.

The silence grew heavier. You saw the lights from your bestfriend’s bedroom lit off, she had got to be tired eventually. Suddenly, you felt so alone. Just the two of you in this odd morning.

“It’s hard, right?” Reiner broke the silence, he looked at you again, this time he was desperate for you to look into his eyes. Little did he know, you were refusing to do so because you could feel your fragility forming in your eyes. You swore not to cry.

“What?” Just a depthless answer you uttered.

“Growing up.” Reiner muttered. The man sounded almost contemplative in his defeat. He sighed again and shook his head, “I thought I’d be someone better by this time in my life.”

The answer surprised you. You thought he would say something like ‘Relationship is hard’ or some jargons he picked up from one of the movies he watched without you. You felt bad for undermining him just because you were upset with him. Does it really mirror your true perception of him? Maybe you really hadn’t known him that well.

You had no resolve to his statement, so you just nodded, allowing him to pour out his thoughts.

“I thought I’d be better with my job, with myself, and most importantly,” he shifted to lurch towards you on his seat, the wire strings of the swing twisted to your direction, “with the people I love. But obviously, I still… suck.”

“And here I am. 4 AM. A fucking adult on a fucking neighborhood swing-set.”

You could feel the air suctioned out of your lungs, as you felt guilt loomed bigger inside you. He came and he felt bad – what more could I ask for? But then you remembered the nights of loneliness despite having Reiner sleeping next to you. You had a bad day, but you were too prideful to come clean. You wanted him to be intuitive, but he never did. Being with Reiner, you had mastered the art of crying in silence while sharing the bed with him. It’s exhausting. Yeah, Rei, maybe you’re bad at this.

Despite that, you stayed silent.

“Will you hate me if I say I don’t know what’s wrong?” Reiner knew how daft he sounded, “God. I’m pushing my luck coming clean at you.”

You were at loss for words. You had so many things to say, but too few of a courage.

Reiner called your name. He reached over and tried to tangle one of your fingers with his. From your periphery sight, you could see him forcing a smile, “I—”

He sighed again. Reiner’s chest was filled with words and all he wanted was to vomit it out, but he never knew how to properly addressed the feelings he had—he couldn’t even describe what he felt. All he knew was one thing: he wanted you home, back in his arms, “I am a stupid man. I really don’t know what’s happening between us. You.. just.. gone. Please, just tell me what’s wrong. I’m not smart enough for all these..”

There was almost a childish plea in Reiner’s words, and you couldn’t help but to threw a faint smile. You chuckled, “What did you say? You’re—what?”

He scoffed at himself, “I am stupid.”

You finally caved in because you realized there was an undeniable genuineness in the way he spoke. And the sentiment was mutual, you felt stupid as well for you had not realized how completely, utterly, truly clueless Reiner was.

Eventually, you looked at him. His hardened face quickly turned wary to finally see how puffy your eyes were from crying earlier, you forced a smile, but it was clear you were pretending, “You make me feel so lonely sometimes.”

The words came out of your mouth like a canonball that had been stuck in your chest for too long. You felt relief, but on the other side, Reiner could feel his heart broke. A pain from a man realizing too late of the damage he had caused.

You thought of everything that had made you feel so. The way Reiner rolled over in bed away from you, drowsy and unaware, when you called him in the dead night as your anxiety kicked in; when his hand let you go as you tried to hold his hands in public; the complete non-existing mention of you in his social media; the take-outs that he mindlessly brought home when you had cooked dinner; his easiness in dropping a problem after he said sorry without checking up with you further.

It was the absent of his intuition that made you felt invisible – but you realized too late that maybe he was truly oblivious, evident as he said, “But how?”

“You really don’t know?”

“Babe,” he further tangled your fingers into his grasp. Your hand and his, they hung in the middle of the two swing seats, “I swear on my mother’s grave.”

“I’ve always thought you wanted to leave me but never got the right moment to it. The affection—I hardly ever got it from you. Not the affirming words, not the reassurance. Hell, maybe I want that public kiss and hugs that you thought was stupid, Rei. Just—”

You could feel the tears forming, choking you mercilessly, “—just to feel loved. To feel wanted. For once.”

You finally let your tears dropped. And Reiner was slapped with realities that both of you were in. He let go of your hand and stared down at the pavement, “I’m sorry. I never knew.”

“You never asked.”

“But I never knew. How am I supposed to know that I should ask when I didn’t know I should ask on the first place? I’ve always thought you wanted to be left alone when all your crazy thoughts come in—but you—”

“—you—"

Reiner groaned, obviously frustrated. He rested the blabber, “Maybe we’re just not good at this.”

Like a train, you could feel the ending coming to hit you. This is it. This is it. You thought to yourself, picturing how Reiner would finally leave you. You secretly wished Reiner wouldn’t give in, you wish he’d put up more fight, so at least you’d know that you carried a weight in his heart. But you knew this was bound to happen, so why were you so upset?

“Maybe.” You wiped your tears dry, “That’s okay, Reiner. I know that’s what I am.”

“What?”

“I’m just an embarkation point, right? Everyone will leave me eventually. That’s why I left, because I know eventually, we’ll be talking about this. So I’d better leave first.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Reiner grew even more frustrated with the way you danced around your words.

“It’s okay if you want to leave me. That’s what all people do to me.”

“You left because you think I was planning to leave you all along?” Reiner asked, sounding painfully offended as he finally got to gather what you were insinuating, “So that is the problem?”

“Yeah, so I better leave first, right? Before I get hurt again? Before you leave me like other people and—”

“Fuck other people!” Reiner raised his voice, which he immediately regretted. He ran his fingers over his hair irritated, turning it into a complete blond mess, “Are you trying to avenge your revenge for other people—those exes you’ve had—on me?”

Tears welled up again in your eyes, as you looked away from him. But he called on your name again, this time there was a deep sternness in his call that you couldn’t help but to face him. Reiner was glad that you finally gained courage to speak the truth, when he had not, “So you want reassurance, yeah? How about the times I told you how beautiful, how smart, how great you are – only for you to tell yourself the opposite immediately.”

Reiner looked directly into your eyes, “I can’t make you something you’re not. What you are is who you think you are.”

“You can never matter – if you don’t think you do.”

An expressionless, soundless tear fell onto your cheek. A heart broke to your dismay. Reiner finally said the truth and there was no way you could delude yourself into thinking that he was wrong, “Then… why don’t you just leave me, Rei? Why don’t you get rid of me a long time ago?”

“Because I’m giving you something that I never received in my entire life, ever. I’m staying for you.” There was a palpable pain in the way Reiner spoke. He landed his finger on to your heart and you could feel it pierced through your skin with heavy realization, “I’m staying. Like no one ever did in my life. Not my ex-girlfriends, not my friends, and certainly not my father. That’s what makes us different. I have more faith in you than you have in me.”

Reiner was a man with heavy heart. He had been through a lot of things in his life, learned how to fend on for himself since very young, and dreamed of the day when he could finally put his hair down with someone he cared for. And what you hadn’t realize, was how essentially similar you were to him. How both of you longed for someone to let go of your inhibitions and fear? Just two broken people finding refuge in each other’s longing for the same thing. And that’s what you failed to see. He understood you, just in a way you didn’t understand.

And that’s the thing about pain, they are inherently personal. No matter how much you have shared yourself to others.

The two of you went dead silent for a moment. In the horizon, the sun rays were starting to emerge, the morning had arrived. Your tears cascaded painfully slow; Reiner was looking at his feet trying to sip his tea that had gone cold. His hands were trembling with both sadness and anger that were beginning to secede.

Reiner finally called your name, this time it was delicate, “I’m sorry, alright?”

You looked at him with tears in your eyes as you nodded, “Alright.”

“Will you come home, now?”

“Yes,” you muttered, “I think I will.”

The two of you got up and Reiner immediately drew you into his chest, holding you the tightest you had ever been held, reconnecting all the broken pieces scattered inside you. You buried your face into his strong chest as you sobbed once more, while he kissed the top of your head with affection more vivid than thousands of words of affirmations.

“What do we do with these hearts, Rei?” You asked as you felt your chest throbbing with pain and love.

The man loosened his embrace and smiled, “Persevere.”

A/N:

First of all thank you so much to @okubean for giving me a hellish prompt! This one really made me faced my own abandonment issue and poured it into a writing. I tried to touch about the absent-mindedness as the implication of ADHD but I’m really worried that it doesn’t really do it justice. So hereby my sincere apologies! 😭🙏

Nonetheless, I really hope that you may enjoy this piece and I’m so sorry if it comes off as boring!

I literally drafted this on the metro, and got really carried away with it!

Did I enjoy it? (Yes)

Did this turn out longer than I expected? (Yes)

Am I worried this will bore people? (Yes)

#reiner braun x reader #reiner x reader #reiner fluff #reiner angst #aot reiner #snk reiner #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan fanfiction #aot #snk #aot fanfiction

232 notes · View notes

x-woozi · 3 years ago

Text

An Unwise Interest

Part 10

Previous || M. List || Next

Summary: Of course you love your brother but he can be a bit overly concerned and involved in your personal life. Things only get worse when you find yourself having a little more than “friendly” feelings for one of his best friends.

A/N: I’m sorry it took so long to post life’s been a bit much lately but it’s here now! Ta-da! Love interest revealed, and surprise surprise it’s Jihoon. Im sure you saw it coming but I hope you still enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Balloons are great and all but the set up and cleaning up is a pain, especially for what you have planned. Luckily you’ll only have to worry about one of those.

Deciding to not be completely mean you planned to fill the majority of the balloons with the confetti first and only a few with glitter. You set everything out side by side on Seungcheols bedroom floor. “Okay I’ve got the balloons and confetti but where did I put- Ah the glitter!” You said aloud to yourself with an evil-like grin as you imagine the look on your brother's face when he gets home.

Rather than waiting for Jihoon to get back, you started without him knowing he’d be against taking any part in it and would have to do some convincing. You tried your best to funnel the tiny pieces of paper into as many balloons as you could before inflating them.

Once it was time to blow them up you realize where you went wrong. There’s no pump, no helium tank, nothing. You thought to yourself, this is that stupid pre-prank karma isn’t it. All you could do now was pray your lungs make it through.

10 balloons in and there are many regrets going through your mind. Tying the ends is starting to hurt your fingers, bring rubber bands or ribbon next time. Starting to feel a little lightheaded having to blow them up. Gotta remember to get a pump for these things! Some of the confetti keeps slipping out and getting in your mouth. Why does this feel so dan-

There was a loud thud that came from the other room interrupting your thoughts and making you inhale sharply with a balloon still at your lips. Going hand in hand with your last thought the timing was great because now you’re choking and there’s an intruder. Trying your best not to completely panic when you hear footsteps rushing towards you loudly coughing, you look around the room and realize you have nothing to defend yourself with. what a great way to go.

“Are you okay?!?!” Jihoon yelled as he barged into the room, “what happened!”

If you could this is where you would’ve let out a sigh of relief, but no, still choking on paper.

He practically leapt to your side and aggressively patted your back trying to help, which it did a little. When you caught your breath you quickly faced him, “what the hell, who just comes home and immediately starts slamming doors and shit?? I could have died because of you!”

“Are you being serious?” Jihoon stared at you in disbelief, “first off you’re in my home”

“It’s also my brothers.” You stated as a weak argument against him

“Still not yours. And second that wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t doing all of this” he motioned to the mess you’ve made on the floor. “So who’s really at fault here?”

“wow just blame the victim I guess” You folded your arms “I never took you for that type, I’m disappointed Ji”

His jaw dropped, “the v- you?? You're joking right? You’re the victim?” Scoffing at your claim “right and I’m in the nba”

A small laugh fell from your lips before you could catch it, you cleared your throat to hide it “anyways, were you going to help me with this or not?”

“Would I have brought these if I wasn’t?” He held up two plastic balloon pumps “I had a feeling you didn’t have one, and of course. I was right”

You rolled your eyes “yeah alright well let’s get to pumping, I’m tired of almost dying doing it the old fashioned way.”

Sitting on the floor across from you and grabbed a balloon to start with, “no one told you to take it this far, so that's on you” he shrugged

He wasn’t wrong, you were the one that wanted to do all this but it was going to be worth it in the end. At least you hoped it would be. Of course seeing his initial reaction to seeing it all would be fantastic but after that there's no telling what he’ll do.

As you both sat there with balloons starting to pile around you, you started to think about what your real plans for after college were. “Hey Ji, can I ask you a question?”

“Was that not it?” You squint your eyes back at him and he sighed, “go ahead”

“How did you know to decide on being a music major? Like I know you’re really good at all of it but how do you know that’s what you want to do forever?”

He kept his eyes on the balloon in his hand “Because it’s my outlet, my contribution to the world. It doesn’t reach many people as of right now but for those that it does reach it makes them feel something that only music can. Music is like the medicine everyone needs at some point. It makes me feel good to help people in that way and I want to be able to reach and help as many people as possible.” You had watched the way his smile grew as he spoke about his passion but quickly fell as a pink showed over his cheeks when he looked back up to see you watching his expressions.

There was a sudden pop and with that rubber and confetti was everywhere. You jumped slightly at the noise, “oh no!” You giggled “well that’s one less for him to worry about later”

“At least it wasn’t one with glitter in it” he added while dusting the pieces off of his shirt.

“Very true, that stuff never comes off” you agreed “hang on you got some in your hair”

You leaned over to pick off the few pieces that made it up there before realizing he was reaching to get those same pieces. Though instead of the paper it was your hand he grabbed.

(Que the cheesy kdrama music: Duu dudu duu dudu duu)

Your face immediately burned red as you felt a small panic rush over you. “Sorry I just-“ You laughed lightly as you pulled your hand back, “you know what, I could use a snack break” you stood up and raced to the kitchen. Oh god why am I like this? It wasn't even bad! You thought to yourself pretending to look through the cabinets. Did I make it more awkward running in here like that? Shit.

In an attempt to make it better you decided to make both of you a pb&j, but also as a thank you for helping you finish even if there wasn’t much to do. “Grape or strawberry?” You yelled with your head basically still in the fridge. There was no answer “Ji!”

“Strawberry” his response surprised you with him being much closer than you thought. He had joined you in the kitchen and was grabbing the bread from the counter behind you.

“How did you know what I was going to make?” He looked at you with a straight face. You rolled your eyes and took the bread from his hands. “Maybe I was going to use crackers, make mini pb&js.” You finished up and set them on plates at the table across from each other.

He followed behind you, sliding a glass of water to you before taking his seat. It was silent as you both sat there eating before Jihoon spoke up, “so I’m going to guess that you’re still struggling to pick your major.”

“Says who?”

“Not even 10 minutes ago you were asking how I picked mine.” He pointed out as he picked up his sandwich.

“Well what if I just wanted to get to know you better, make small talk you know?” Trying to defend yourself.

“Okay so then what did you decide on?” He questioned.

“I haven’t.” You responded sounding defeated “what if I do pick and then change my mind then I would have wasted so much time and money for nothing”

He rolled his eyes, taking another bite. “Just don’t think of it like that, think of it as broadening your horizons, explore your options. What do you enjoy doing?”

“Being with my friends? I don’t know”

“Fine, what are you good at?” He waited for an answer as you just stared back with a blank face. “Seriously? How about a planner like for parties and stuff?”

“Me? Plan things? I can’t do that” you laughed at the thought of it.

Completely at a loss for words he gets up and motions for you to follow. You do while bringing what’s left of your sandwich. He led you straight back to your brother's doorway and stood with his arms crossed. “Did you not plan this?”

“This is different. It’s a prank, not a party” you tried explaining, “this is something simple. But we should hurry and finish because he should be home soon.”

He rolled his eyes at you trying to change the subject, “yeah alright but at least think about it. It doesn’t hurt to explore all your options.” he sat on the floor and picked up another balloon. “Especially when you have no idea what you’re doing with your life.”

You scoffed and tossed a handful of deflated balloons at him “I’m sorry, is that judgement I hear?” he looked up at you with raised brows. “At least I’m trying to have fun and enjoy my life instead of staying locked away in my room.”

“I do not stay locked in my room.” He tried defending himself

“Oh my bad, locked away in the studio.” you correct yourself.

He then threw some balloons your way, “I go out and do things. I can have fun and enjoy life”

You took that as a challenge and picked up some confetti and held it in your fist, “you sure about that?”

“Y/n, what are you doing?” he put a hand up as a barrier questioning you.

“What? Are you scared?” you pulled your arm back preparing for launch.

“I just can't tell what you're throwing at me.”

“Let's find out then” as soon as you threw the paper he reached for the glitter and was ready to throw some back. “Wait wait!” you tried reaching to stop him but it was too late, it was everywhere. He was bent over with laughter as you sat there covered in glitter glaring at him. You picked up another container and sprinkled it over him, letting it fall everywhere.

His laughing slowed as he froze when he saw sparkles coming from him. He let out a short laugh before quickly grabbing your arm to keep you from dropping anymore on him. “Really?” Your first thought was to grab it with your other hand, but as you did that he caught you with a smirk

You tried pulling away but with his grip it only forced you to scoot closer to him. There was now a warmth growing on your face as you stared back at him trying to think of your next move to get out.

The smirk still on his face “now what? Are you done?”

Something dropped at the doorway forcing you to both turn to see your brother standing with his bags at his feet “what the hell is going on in here!!”

Suddenly your hands we’re free and you rushed to your feet. “Wait cheol-“

“Out of all the people and all the places! You two?! IN MY ROOM?!!!” He started towards Jihoon.

Moving yourself between them “wait wait it’s not what it looks like I swear!!”

Jihoon was up and backing away slowly “you know me.. we friends.. roomies.. just take a breath”

“Y/n go home I’ll talk to you later. You.” He point at Ji “we need to talk now.”

You grabbed your bag and basically ran out the door. it’s fine it’ll be fine I’ll check on them later. After I’m far away and he’s cooled off.

Obviously you felt bad for leaving the situation like that but what else could you do? Seungcheol was a little scary when he’s mad.

30 notes · View notes

umaruwastaken · 4 years ago

Text

Break-up Prank [Sapnap X reader]

: Heyy, it's me! im probably gonna make the same concept like this again but with another YouTuber/streamer, let me know if something's bothering you or if you have any request/suggestion, im always gonna respond :] enjoy! Buh-bye.

!!TW!!: swearing, mild angst ig

Synopsis: You were bored and came across a video that interests you, you then decided to try it out.

»»START««

—⇻You graced your fingers, scrolling through youtube, not really having something to do, You sighed, boredom swiftly engulfing you're being while you sat up from the couch you were laying at.

"what should I do, eat I gue—"

you stopped what you were about to say when you saw a specific video on youtube, you clicked on it relaxing your body onto the couch once again... you were alone at your house since nick had gone to hang out with Karl and his friends, he wanted you to come but you refused clearly regretting it now.

a brilliant idea came shooting in your mind, after finishing the video... you gave yourself a cheeky smirk and stood up thinking of a plan, you knew that pranking nick won't be easy and won't be too hard as well but you wanted to see his reaction.

"break up prank huh..." you trailed down, thinking deeply.

you also know how much you'll feel bad after this but it won't hurt to risk a little bit sometimes, right?

"ok, he'll be home at exactly 6 pm, so I guess I better get ready right?" you thought to yourself, you had run to your shared room excitedly, you have no clue how to start so you just get dressed as if your leaving and decided to just go with the flow when sapnap arrives.

↴ [6:16 pm]

You are now wearing a comfy hoodie with jeans as your bottoms, you also put on makeup so it wouldn't look like you're just staying at home, you went downstairs patiently waiting for him as you practice your facial expressions, you laughed to yourself thinking how dumb this is.

after another minute of waiting, the door slightly swung open, with nick entering quickly... he smiled seeing you sat down on the couch, his smile then dropped seeing how you were dressed.

"Hey babe, I'm home..." you whipped your head towards him, pretending to look disappointed or upset.

"hey..." you trailed down trying to sound suspicious as you can.

he looked you up and down before diving into your arms "you look gorgeous but where are you heading?" he asked confused, also upset that you pulled away from the hug.

"look, nick-"

"it's 'babe', not nick??" he answered cheekily laughing nervously.

"no, nick, we have to talk." his frown grew deeper seeing your distress, he knew he was in trouble but tried to sound as positive and get his mind off of negativity.

"ok let's sit down, baby, tell me what's wrong," he mutters trying to grasp your hands into his only for it to be pulled away by you.. he chuckled nervously.

"babe?"

"nick, no... I won't sit and play around anymore, ill get straight to the point, ok?" he nodded nervously.

"ok? what's wrong?"

"let's end this," you stated, immediately his heart dropped, he then turned to you laughing almost having tears in his eyes.

"wh- BWHAHAHA y- hshahahshshaha break up? us? no way [[name] that sounds impossible"

he lifted his head up finally calming down, only to see your serious face.

"wait" he paused "you're being serious?"

you sighed "obviously, nick, things aren't working out anymore, it's not the same" you mumbled 'let's break up and be friends, I guess... thanks for the memories." you said trying to pull yourself together.

he looked at you in disbelief and sadness almost making you wanna melt and just cuddle him.

"what?" he asked in shock. "all of those just for nothing? you'll leave without even trying? what do you even mean by not working out [name]? were fine, happy and very much in love! at least I am... are you not?"

"look, I loveD you... I really did, but I just don't think it'll be this tiring."

"what?! we were alright just this morning-... is there someone new?" he asked, almost immediately, an idea popped in your mind.

"yea..." you said hesitantly and quietly sound a little too real for sap's liking.

"who is it?" he asked darkly.

you tried to think of someone but got no one in mind.

"tell me [name]! or else I won't let you go!"

"it's Karl..." you said, whoever entered your mind first, regretting it halfway to see his rock-like expression broke, his eyes watering with tears.

"k- my fucking best friend??" he asked "why...?" he cried.

"yea... I'm sorry"

"But I still love you!" he fought... "this must be a joke, right love?? right??" you silenced yourself.

"fuck this I'm gonna put Karl into his place" panic shot right through you, rushing to catch up with sapnap who had exited the house... you ran quickly and stopped him.

"where are you going??" you frantically said.

"Karl's," he said without looking at you, fuck I need to stop, you thought to yourself.

"no nick! it was a prank! it's not true!" he didn't turn to you nor moved at all.

"it's just a prank, babe, I'm not breaking up with you!" you convinced him hugging his back since he wouldn't face you... you heard sobs and sniffle as nick's body dropped, he crouched and covered his face with his hands, crying.

"for fucks sake [name] please don't do that!" he cried.

you felt bad, seeing him cry for your bullshit.

"I'm so sorry, babe... I would never leave you, I promise!!" you lifted his face up and turned his face to look at you.

"I love you, I'm sorry! please don't cry..." you wiped the tears that escaped his eyes, kissing his forehead and rubbing circles in his back.

he calmed down and walked back inside with his hands taking you with him.

"you deserve a punishment."

#mcyt fandom #mcyt fanfiction #mcyt sapnap #sapnap x you #sapnap x reader #mcyt imagine #mcyt oneshots #sapnap fanfic #sapnap fluff #dream smp #dream team

131 notes · View notes

twilight-love-nochu · 4 years ago

Text

BTS Reaction to neglecting your family while away (Maknae Line)

JIMIN (Park Jimin)

*im going to name the kids here because it’s more understandable than saying Y/S/N as there are two sons in this reaction*

“Okay, everyone in the car!” You shouted while struggling to get every school bag, lunch box as well as your own things that you’d need for work and holding your youngest daughter in your arms. You ushered your 3 kids out of the house and into the car as fast as possible to get them at school on time. You put the things into the trunk while your sons got into the car on their own. You were so thankful they were quite independent already when it came to certain things at 7 and 5 since you also had to take care of your 3 year old. As a Semi-single parent that was very helpful and you couldn’t help but thank God for that.

You hurriedly closed the trunk and went to the backseat of the car to put your daughter in her car seat and checked if your sons put their seatbelts on right. When you were sure they did, you carefully closed the car door and slipped into the driver's seat.

“Done!” You thought while closing your eyes and letting out a sigh. A grin stretched out on your face when you then realized what always followed the hectic morning.

“You know what time it is?” You turned to look at your children in the backseat still grinning and you could see the same thing happening on your children’s faces.

“CARPOOL KARAOKE!!” You heard the voices of your eldest son Adam and your daughter booming inside the small space you were in, even though you weren't entirely that the little one even really knew what was happening. Your 5 year old, Yeonwoo, didn’t say a thing and simply looked through the window. You found that weird because usually he was the one who was most excited about the karaoke session you had almost daily. You shrugged it off and blamed it on him not getting a good night of sleep last night after having a nightmare.

Your husband and you started to do those carpool karaokes ever since your eldest son started kindergarten. One day, your husband and you just put on some music in the car on the way there and sang your hearts out and you saw how excited your son was on the backseat, which surprised you because he would usually be in a bad mood and pouting before going to kindergarten. Seeing that it put your kids in a good mood and woke them up, made them actually excited to go to school and was a great bonding time for your family, Jimin and you decided to make it a tradition.

You were singing songs that were playing on the aux at the top of your lungs with your son and your daughter was also trying her best to sing the songs right but the only voice you didn’t hear was the one from your middle child. So when you arrived to a red light, you turned to him and said: “where missing your beautiful vocals, babe”

“Yeah you need to sing with us to practice for our band, Yeonwoo” Adam added to his brother, which made you chuckle. Yeonwoo was not laughing though. In fact he didn’t react to anything you said and kept looking out of the window. He started to worry you. Usually, even if he was tired, the karaoke would help him wake up and excite him. You sighed but couldn’t do anything in the moment as you had to continue driving again.

You dropped Adam off at his primary school and sent him off with a kiss before making your way to the kindergarten to drop off the other two. Without Adam’s singing, the vibe inside of the car became a little weird though, since you were the only one singing, with your daughter's cute rambling, but you didn’t want to stop and make everything even weirder. Plus, you had a little hope that Yeonwoo would soon give into the singing.

To your dismay, he kept silent until you got to your destination. You brought the too inside and helped them take off their shoes.

“Kissy” you turned to your daughter. She gave you a kiss and skipped inside with the educator.

You then turned back to Yeonwoo who was getting up to go inside, too.

“What a second, kiddo.” You knelt down and made him turn to you but he kept his gaze on his jacket. “Are you okay? If you don’t want to go to kindergarten today, you don’t have to, you know? We can go get some ice cream or go home and sleep some more?” You were never a fan of forcing your kids to go to school. If they really didn’t want to go, there would be a good reason for that.

“I’m okay, mommy. I need to go inside now. See you later.” He said without a lot of enthusiasm in his voice but he nevertheless gave you a kiss and went inside.

You watched him worriedly until he was out of sight and got up with a sigh to make your way to your job.

The whole day long, you couldn’t get your son out of your head. What was wrong with him, today? He was usually so cheerful. Was it maybe his nightmare? That was the only reason he could have for being so down, so that must be it. When he came into your room hiccuping, you asked him if he wanted to talk about it but when he shook his head vigorously, you let it be. Now you wished you had insisted more so that you would know how to help him now.

When you picked your kids back up from school and Yeonwoo was still not his old self, you decided you had to talk to him. So you sat him down with you after dinner and started asking him.

“Kiddo, what has been up with you all day? You look so sad it makes mommy sad too” you told him slightly pouting to lighten the mood a little.

“I already told you this morning that I’m fine, mommy. There’s no need for you to be sad” he stood his ground. You looked at him and decided to change your tactic and ask directly. You sat him down on your lap and asked: “Does it maybe have anything to do with the bad dream you had yesterday?” You felt him tense a little and look look down but he stayed silent.

“Mommy?” He shyly looked back up at you.

“Yes baby?”

“Does…. does daddy hate me?”

What?

To say you were in shock was an understatement. Why would he say that?

“No he doesn’t baby, don’t be silly. Why do you think that?” You asked full of concern. So that’s what his dream was about? No wonder he was that upset.

“Daddy's never here, doesn’t call and when he does, it’s only for a short amount of time. Is it because of me? Does he not like me?” His voice wavered and his eyes filled with tears making you almost cry with him.

“No, honey, no. Daddy loves you very much. He loves us all, so don’t you ever think otherwise. Daddy is just a very busy person, you know? It’s true he’s away a lot but trust me if he could be with us everyday he would.” You could tell he was having a hard time believing you so you did the only thing that would make him believe. You pulled out your cell phone and FaceTimed the man in question.

“ You know what? Let’s call daddy and you’ll see” you felt your son getting anxious on your lap but you were set on sorting this out as soon as possible.

“Hey babe!“ the familiar voice of your husband boomed through your phone.“ I know I haven’t called much lately, I am so sorry. I swear I am trying but I can’t seem to find the time, I’m so sorry“ Jimin started to ramble as soon as he answered. You chuckled. You knew he was trying his best so you didn’t put it against him.

“It’s OK babe, that’s not why I am calling. I’m calling because this little guy here” you pointed the camera at said little guy who now had his head hidden in your shirt ”put the silly idea into his mind that you don’t love him. I tried to tell him that that was not true but I can’t convince him, so maybe you can.” as soon as you said the words you saw your husband‘s face fall.

“Yeonie? Hey look at me kiddo.”You could literally hear the heartbreak in his voice. Your son slowly turned to look at his father on your phone. “Why would you think that?”

“You said that in my dream. You said that you didn’t love me and that was why you 're always away.” He fidgeted with your shirt tears starting to fall from his eyes.

“Yeonie, listen to me. That was just a dream. That was not reality. Trust a bad dream. OK? I love you more than anything else in the world. You along with your siblings and your mother. You are everything to me. Me being away so much has nothing to do with any of you. Because of my job People from everywhere in the world want to see me. And if I wasn’t doing this job I wouldn’t be able to bring back all these awesome toys, would I?” Jimin added playfully. When you heard Yeonwoo giggle for the first time today, you couldn’t help the relieved sigh that left your lips.

“By the way, you won’t believe what awesome toy I found for you this time!” At this point it looked like Yeonwoo had completely forgotten about his nightmare and the tears on his cheeks.

“What is it? What is it?” He bounced up and down on my lap in excitement.

“That’s a surprise” your husband laughed. “You’ll see we’ll have sooo much fun with it.”

“Okay, come home soon daddy!” Your son said slightly disappointed that he had to wait to know what his toy was.

“I will. I miss you very much Bub. And I love you, and you too Y/N.”

“Love and miss you too” your son and you said in unison and ended the call.

“Feel better babe?” You asked the child.

“Yeah. But I want to know what my toy is.” He pouted which made you burst out laughing relieved that your son was back to normal.

V (Kim Taehyung)

Taehyung’s biggest dream next to becoming an idol was to found a family. Have a beautiful wife and have a lot of children with her. Everyone knew that, it was pretty clear when you saw the way he acted with children. Each time he would see people with their children in the streets or when he played with his younger relatives his desire to finally achieve that dream would get bigger and he would get more and more impatient to get there.

He would most likely make a great father too. He always had his father as an example and wanted to be just like him: an amazing father to his kids, who didn’t miss a step of them growing up, who was always there when they needed it and did his best to give them the world.

When he met you, he knew instantly that he was a step closer to his dream. He made it his mission to make you fall in love with him -which happens pretty quickly considering his outstanding looks and charming personality. Fast forward 3 long years later he popped out the question and you two got married. Taehyung was the happiest person alive at this point. Not only did he achieve half of his dream but he was married to the most wonderful person he had ever met. But something was missing for him to be completely satisfied.

So he didn’t waste any time and you two started trying for a baby. And after 3 even longer months of trying and desperation you finally saw the two bars on your pregnancy test. You stayed frozen on the toilet trying to process the information. You were pregnant. You were going to be a mother. Happiness and relief washed over you.

But your reaction was nothing against your husband‘s reaction.

You got out of the bathroom and into your bedroom where Taehyung was pacing back and forth from one end to the other obviously anxious over the results of the test. He was so caught up in his thought that he didn’t even realize you were standing in the room until you called out his name. As soon as he saw you he rushed to where you stood and asked what the results were. You didn’t trust your voice so you settled with just showing him the test in your hand. He looked at it and after a few seconds he looked back up at you in disbelief. “Does...does it mean you’re...you’re…” he was choking up and couldn’t form a correct sentence in fear that he understood it wrong and it was yet again a failed attempt. That was until you nodded your head with a soft smile and tears starting to brim your eyes.

In the next moment Taehyung fell to his knees in front of you and sobs ripped through the quiet room. He was so happy. Pure happiness. After so many years he finally did it. He had gotten everything he had ever wanted in his life. And that was the moment he realized it.

“You’re going to be a dad, Tae.” You said softly to him as he hugged your belly while he whispered sweet promises of a good life to his chilled growing in your belly.

Over the next 9 months Tae was extra protective of you, he was not going to let anything happen to you or your child. He’d scold you every time he saw you do some kind of effort - potentially dangerous or not -, he’d do most of the chores that you usually did even though you assured him over and over again that you could do it, he’d accept every moody attitude that you had and buy everything you needed for your cravings and even try the weird dishes with you, although that was just because for his curiosity. He even renovated one of your spare rooms into a newborn room with the other bang tan boys without you knowing. You were kind of upset about the fact that he didn’t let you help but at the same time you were quite happy with the result. The room looked dreamy.

Taehyung even assisted to the birth of your beautiful baby girl and was the first one to hold the new main character of your life. Later that night he held her tight and watched her sleep and you also asleep in the bed next to him and realized that this was the start of the most beautiful moments in his life.

And that’s how it was for the first few months. While balancing his work life and his private life he tried to spend every moment he had with her and you and he did a great job at it as he did not miss one of her firsts.

That was until the impossible happened.

A world Tour.

Over the past few months Tae had almost forgotten that he was not only Kim Taehyung but also BTS’s V and that V also had responsibilities.

Now Taehyung obviously loved tour. He did. He loved it at any other moment that now. Of all the other times it could have happened, it had to happen during the most important time of parenting. He knew he was going to miss a lot which visibly broke his heart. You saw that and tried lifting up his mood by reassuring him that you were going to call each other as much as possible.

But that promise was harder to keep that you had thought. Of course you two tried to talk everyday but a lot of factors were playing against it. Schedules, time difference, exhaustion, flights… it just wasn’t working.

Your daughter’s first birthday was coming up soon and Tae was still on tour. You knew that he would never forgive himself if he missed such an important day with her and you were worried that you two would not be able to call each other again on that day. So you came up with a solution.

You were going to go to wherever he was on that day. You planned everything and made arrangements with his manager to see if it would be alright, which luckily it was.

That‘s how you found yourself 5 days later in the airport on your way to Germany to surprise your man with your daughter.

Your phone was going off for the third time this morning and it was Taehyung again. He was trying to reach you to talk to your daughter since today was her birthday and you felt bad for not answering but you knew you had a bigger surprise to make up for it.

And you were a little relieved when you went into the plane and had to turn your phone off for the flight as you didn’t have to go through the temptation to answer your husband’s calls.

The plane took off and you looked anxiously at the 1 year old on your lap waiting for her to start crying but to your surprise she was fast asleep. You sighed in relief and decided to take an example on your girl and took a nap, too.

Several hours and only one tantrum from your daughter later you arrived in Berlin and found the boys‘ manager who was here to pick you up.

„Did you have a good flight, Y/N“ Sejin said while hugging you and then pinching the cheek of the sleeping girl in your arms.

„Long but okay, thank you.” You replied. Sejin was like an older brother to you by now so it was nice to see him again.

He took your luggage and led you to the car to take you to the rehearsal place the boys were currently at. You had to say that you were kind of nervous after not answering his calls but you were more excited to see his reaction and to see him. You arrived in the blink of an eye and you got out of the car.

“They’re practicing right now, let me take you there.” Sejin told you as you got out of the car.

You ran a hand through your hand and took a deep breath before following the tall man into the practice room, your daughter in your arms just starting to wake up.

The familiar sound of ‘Black Swan’ got louder and louder in your ears and soon enough you saw your husband and his 6 brothers dancing their hearts out with their backs to you.

Your heart was pounding in excitement but you tried to contain it and not run up to the love of your life right then as you didn’t want to disturb their dance practice.

The music came to an end and all the boys fell to the floor in exhaustion and you couldn’t help but worry about if they were getting enough sleep. Tour was tiring as it was so pair that with the boy’s perfectionism, your worries were definitely not for nothing.

You were caught up in your thoughts when your daughter started babbling incomprehensible words and when you lifted your gaze back up to look at the boys seven pairs of eyes were looking back at you in pure surprise. ‘Way to ruin the surprise’ you thought to yourself

“Surprise!” You said sheepishly with a grin on your face.

Taehyung was the first to stand to his feet. “Is this real or is the exhaustion making me hallucinate?” You giggled as you saw him Blick in disbelief.

“No hallucination, babe. I couldn’t let you miss Y/D/N’s first birthday.” You reassured him and in the next moment he was sprinting over to you two.

“Y/D/N!!! My princess Daddy missed you so so much!” But as he reached to take her in his arms, she did the unthinkable. She flinched away and hid in the crook of your neck.

Oh no.

You could see the exact moment Taehyung’s heart broke. He dropped his arms slowly and his smile did the same thing “ She-“ he gulped “ Does she not remember me?”

“She’s just sleepy” you laughed nervously “she just woke up. You know how she is when she wakes up.” You tried to calm him down but you both now that was not the reason for her behavior. Let’s face it. She just turned one and her father had been away for a few months. You honestly couldn’t expect her to remember him. At least not right away.

By now the rest of the boys were also beside you watching the scene unfold in front of them. Tae took a deep breath and tried reaching for her again. “ Princess it’s me, your Appa.” He said softly, partly to not scare her away but also because he was sure he would break down if he spoke any louder. But the tears came anyway when she shook her arms out of his gentle grip and started to cry.

You didn’t know what to do. How do you make your child remember their father? You racked your brain for something while the boy tried to comfort your husband. Screw it, you told yourself as you resolved to just talking to her.

“Baby, will you look at mommy” you cooed. When she looked at you hiccuping you were relieved at the small win. “ Look over there! It’s your Appa” you said overly enthusiastically but she wouldn’t look. “Princess you love Appa, don’t you remember?” She looked up at you again at your words a little confused but interested and you could see Tae’s desperate look from the corner of your eyes. “Yes! You don’t remember talking to him on the phone? He always sings to you.” And that’s when it hit you. “Tae! Sing!” The confused look on his face mirror the one your daughter made earlier but when he saw your encouraging smile he started to sing.

His beautiful deep voice filled the room as he sang your daughter’s favorite song and for a moment you just stood there and took in how nice it felt to be back with Tae and be able to here his voice in real life.

And then you looked at your daughter anxiously. Out of a sudden she’d turned her head to look at her father. Did she recognize him?

“Appa?” She said in a small voice and relief washed over you and you could tell the same happened to your husband.

“Yes. Yes Princess, it’s Appa.” He said eyes slightly moist as he took a tentative step toward you.

That’s when your daughter’s face finally broke into a big smile. “Appa!” She shouted, making grabby hands towards him. Sighing in relief Tae took her in his arms and hugged her tight, a few tears now rolling down his cheeks. “I missed you so much my little Princess. Happy birthday.” He whispered to the now excited bundle of happiness in his arms and planted a few kisses across her face, making her giggle.

You reached up and wiped the tears that were resting on Taehyung’s cheeks away and he turned to you. “Hi” he said and you giggled “Hey.”

“Thank you for doing this.” He pulled you in for a family hug.

Suddenly you heard a voice from behind Taehyung. “ I’m not trying to ruin your moment but Y/N did you maybe bring a cake? I haven’t had any sugar in way too long.” Jungkook pouted and everyone in the room bursted into laughter.

Jungkook (Jeon Jeongguk)

“Whatever. I have to go.” He ended the call before you could get another word in.

Were you really being too clingy? It’s not like it was the first time you had to go through this type of situation. You two had been separated for far longer than this time so why were you like this?

“Mom are you okay?” You suddenly heard a voice at your bedroom door. You looked up to see your son watching you with worried eyes.

“Yeah I’m okay.” You mustered up a smile. “Why do you ask.”

“Because you’re crying.” He said his frown getting deeper. Immediately your hand went to your face and sure enough tears were streaming down your face.

“O-oh” you tried to dry them as fast as possible “I’m okay, puppy. Don’t worry.” You replied with a soft smile but he didn’t seem to believe you as he came in, took a seat next to you on the bed and pulled you in for a hug.

Naturally your tears started falling freely when you realized your son’s hug felt almost the same as Jungkook’s which only made you miss him more. He was 16 now and definitely resembled what his father looked at the same age.

“Mom, please tell me what’s wrong.” He asked again. You didn’t want to tell him because you didn’t want him to worry about you but maybe not telling him would only make him worry more you pondered. The sobs ripping through you wouldn’t let you speak even if you wanted to anyway.

“Is it dad?” Y/S/N asked tentatively. Oh fish were you really that obvious? Finally calming down a bit you pulled away and looked at your son.

“You got me.” You chuckled, wiping at your tears. “I’ve just been missing your father a little more than usual lately. It’s silly. Really Y/S/N, don’t mind me.”

He didn’t let up though. “ You have every right to miss him mom. I mean when was the last time he’s even called. Seems like he’s forgotten he has a family here.” The scowl on his face changed from worried to angry at the thought of it. Slight panic settled inside of you. You couldn’t let him be mad at his father because of you.

“Don’t say that, pup. You know your dad loves us more than anything. He is just really busy right now. I’m sure he tries to call as often as he can.” You reasoned partly trying to convince yourself.

“Right but then he argues with you when he does call?” You froze. Had heard you two fight? “Being busy is not a reason for treating you like this, mom. You’ve been nothing but a loving wife and an amazing mother. When he’s not here you take care of us and the house all on your own while he’s having fun all around the world.” You could hear the concern and disappointment in his voice which broke your heart.

A sigh left your mouth. “Y/S/N look at me.” You waited until his eyes met yours before continuing. “I’m fine, okay? Your father and I are fine. Yes we did fight but that doesn’t mean anything. What couple doesn’t fight, hm? But that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love us or appreciate me. I probably wouldn’t have been crying if I hadn’t been stressed with work and tired, so it’s not all your dad’s fault.” You forced a smile to convince him. It didn’t seem to work so you added “In fact, I’ll take a nap now and when I wake up all be completely alright again.” You said beaming.

“Alright” he said rolling his eyes but a small bunny smile on his lips “But if dad makes you sad again I won’t forgive him.” He added as he stood up from your bed to make his way outside.

“Look at you, protecting your mother.” You teased “My baby boy is all grown up” you wiped at a fake tear.”

“Whatever.” Your son laughed with a slight blush on his cheeks as he walked out of your room.

“I love you!” You said before he shut the door completely and you heard him shout it back from the hallway.

You could always count on your children to make you feel better, you thought to yourself as you lied back down on your bed. You weren’t lying when you said that you were tired because of work so you decided to actually take a nap.

In his room Y/S/N couldn’t stop thinking about his conversation with you. He knew that you were defending his father because you loved your husband and because you wanted to protect him from any problems between them two but he also knew that his father was in fact neglecting his family - be it on purpose or not - and that it was taking a toll on you. He could let his father get away with that. What kind of son would he be if he did?

So he took out his phone and called the man in question and to his surprise he did actually answer.

“Hey kid. Can I call you back later? I’m in the middle of practice right now” the familiar voice in the end of the line said making him roll his eyes. Typical he thought to himself.

“No, actually. Because I know you are going to forget and not call and this is kind of urgent.” He said before his father could end the call.

“Urgent? Did something happen?” He could hear the slight panic in Jungkook’s voice.

“Yes. Your argument with mom happened.” The worry on his dad’s face quickly changed to disinterest to which his anger grew.

“Y/S/N don’t mind it. This has nothing to do with you. Your mom and I are fine.” Y/S/N could tell that his father was about to end the call.

Wow is he serious? How could he be so insensitive after hurting her like that?

“You might be fine but she is not, dad” at this point he wasn’t even trying to hide the anger in his voice. “Mom does so much and you take her for granted.”

Jungkook could hear how affected his son was and that was definitely not his intention. But he really had to go back to practice right now so he tried to calm him down as fast as possible “ Buddy listen-”

“No you listen to me, Dad” his son’s dedication surprised him “When you’re not here, Mom has to balance work, taking care of the work, taking care of us and she does it without ever complaining. Even when it gets hard and she misses you she keeps to herself to not upset us and to be strong for us because we miss you too. But then when she needs you, just to talk to you, for you to make her feel better and to give her strength to go through all of this you snap at her and make her cry?” At this point your son was getting a little emotional.

It is only when Jungkook heard those words that he forgot all about practice and started to realize what he was doing “W-wait what? She cried?”

He didn’t know? Your son thought to himself. He thought he knew he made you cry and just didn’t care, that’s why he was so mad.

“I thought you knew.” He saw his father frantically shake his head on the screen of his phone.

“I would have never ended that call knowing she was crying, Y/S/N. If I knew I had upset her that much I would have talked it out with her.” Although his anger died down significantly the 16-years-old was still quite mad at his father because no matter if he knew it or not he made you upset. “Is she okay? Is she still crying?” Okay so he does care. Good to know.

“She’s fine now. I comforted her.” Even though that is supposed to be your job. He wanted to add but decided against it because he could see that his father genuinely felt bad. “I think she just misses you a lot, Dad. You’ve been gone for months and when’s the last time you called?”

Jungkook knew he hadn’t been the best husband and father for the past months and the guilt fell on him like a brick. “Let me talk to her.”

“She’s taking a nap right now. She has been overwhelmed with work for the past weeks.” Your son shook his head.

“She has?” Jungkook ran his hand through his locks in frustration for not knowing “Gosh I’m such a fuckup.” He frowned.

“Yes but your lucky Mom loves you. She kept defending your actions earlier even though you’ve obviously been an asshole to her.” Jungkook was so absorbed by the thought of him not deserving you that he didn’t even notice his son insulting him.

“Y/S/N please tell me when your mom wakes up. I need to talk to her as soon as possible but I don’t want to wake her up. She probably really needs the sleep.” He said and his son nodded. Jungkook was set on making things better with you. “Thank you. And I love you. And I love your mom. Please don’t ever doubt that.” Jungkook said with the most serious look on his face. The last thing he wanted was for his son to question his father’s feelings for his mom.

“I know. That’s why I called. I know you will make it better.” He finally smiled at his father and his father mirrored it.

They said their goodbyes and Jungkook was left to find a worthy apology.

Tags: @eviardashian

168 notes · View notes

bokutobaes · 4 years ago

Text

inarizaki boys when you have a bad day

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.

☆-with: atsumu, suna, kita

☆-!warnings!: swearing, parental issues, parents fighting, (there’s nothing physically violent), illness like the flu

☆-a/n: yall these are longgg LOL sorry

☆- author: lu <3

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.

☆ atsumu:

-his baby had a bad day :((

-just kidding he didn’t notice at first I’m so sorry nzjsjjsj

-your lockers are nearby so he’s usually waiting for you there first thing in the morning

-you woke up today with a headache and you were just really tired from studying last night :/

-you wanted to suck it up because it was your own fault for leaving the studying until the night before the test you had

-anyways, you were walking up to your locker lowkey trying to avoid eye contact with him

-“hi tsumu :)” u fricken liar with that fake smile

-“morning babe!” atsumu pulled u in for a back hug “i have to get to class kinda early for a test review so i’ll see you at lunch”

-and with that he was pecking your cheek and leaving

-“okay.. kind of good” you thought.. you didn’t wanna worry him or anything so you headed to you first class, math

-hell literally broke loose.. you forgot your pencil case and had to ask like 4 people until you got one which was embarrassing

-AND THEN the teacher called on you for an answer that you didn’t know like the universe

was against you or something

-“uhh... ummm i don’t know..” headass😩

-the class after that was slightly less dehumanizing but it was also japanese class.. the class you had a test in that you just barely studied for

-you did the test and lost braincells, blood sweat and tears LOL

-“okay class these will be graded by lunchtime so please come by to collect your scores before your next class”

-ogey :/ anyways u went to ur next class and before u knew it, it was lunch time.

-a text from atsumu made your phone vibrate while on your way to get your test scores

-“hey babe im actually gonna eat lunch with samu we’re practicing a bit at lunch”

-oh :) ok :) that’s fine :) not like u :) desperately:) need a hug :) right now :)

-“oh okay babe” you text back

-whatever u don’t need him independent queen

-that’s your mindset.. until you get those test scores

-it’s a literal fail .. did not pass the test.. ok..

-“y/n san, these test scores were not your usual best. I’m slightly disappointed, if there’s anything going on please let me know”

-“thank you sensei. i’ll do better next time.

-at this point you were just tying not to cry so you took your test and shouldered your bag and walked to a bench outside for some fresh air.

-right.. you didn’t bring lunch today

-so now you were hungry, tired, defeated, disappointed and lonely :,(

-the last class of your day went by quickly probably because you were zoned out the whole time

-the end of the day came and you were at your locker when your guardian texted you

-“Y/n, you had that test today right? I’m expecting to see the grade when your back home. Didn’t have time to make food tonight so find something to eat on your way home.”

-oh that test ? lol hahaha the one that you failed?! yeah that one haha lol lollll

-so with that, you started your walk home

-“y/n!!”

-fuck. atsumu.

-if you saw him now you knew you wouldn’t be able to hold in your tears and you really didn’t want to cry

-so your solution? pretend you didn’t hear him and walk faster lmfaokdhdh

-but atsumu, being.. well atsumu, decided to just full speed sprint towards you to put his shoulder around you

-“i literally know you heard me. i missed you today sorry about lun- why are you crying ?!!?”

-“bad day” you choked out before a shuddering gasp wracked your chest

-atsumu didn’t say anything he just wrapped you in a tight hug, petting you hair while you cried into his chest

-“its okay babe.. “ :(

-“you wanna come over? we can get food and cuddle”

-you nodded your head taking a shaky breath

-his hand reached out and wiped your tears, brushed your hair behind your ear and kissed your forehead like it was natural to him.

-and so you walked together hand in hand to atsumu’s house where you ate samu’s leftover onigiri and vented to atsumu about the day while you cuddled

-he also gave you a hoodie :,)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.

☆ suna:

-“living is a chore :|” you thought as the alarm rang through your room ruining your peaceful sleep

-it was raining outside and your mind went back to last night, the screaming match your parents had

-normally you’d be used to it but it felt like they were starting to take the anger they had for each other out on you now

-you tried not to but you started thinking about all the things your mom had yelled to you through the closed door of your bedroom

-“your just like your father. you’re selfish, lazy and all you do is run around with that little boyfriend of yours! what about your family?! you think your better then us? why don’t you move out then since your so good at being independent?!”

-everything she said was always completely blown out of proportion, she lied all the time. it’s exhausting for you

-you started getting ready for school, you wanted to see suna and your friends and laugh and just forget last night even happened

-when you got to school suna was there at your locker scrolling lazily through his phone

-you smiled, genuinely as he looked up and greeted you with a smirk

-“nice hair.”

-“wha-“ you started and then smacked his arm when you realized that your baby hairs were out of sorts “shutup” you scowled

-“good morning” suna hugged you

-“good morning”

-now you were off to class, it always went by too fast, you thought. school was always done in the blink of an eye

-“what’re you doing at lunch?” your friend tapped your shoulder and whispered to you

-“mmm nothing probably why?”

-“let’s eat on the roof today! yui told me there’s gonna be a rainbow cuz it stopped raining.”

-“okay” you smiled

-now at lunch with your friends you ate the bento you had packed before. the rainbow was there and it was beautiful

-you were having fun just laughing with your friends and texting suna while he sent terrible photos of atsumu. things were good, you had forgotten about your mom

-until the end of the day came and you had to go back home

-as usual suna was at his locker waiting so that you could walk home together

-after crossing the street you and suna were at a bike path, trees surrounding the fences

-it was a comfortable silence until...

-“what’s wrong?”

-suna asking took you by surprise, you didn’t think you were acting any different. were you?

-“what are you talking about”

-“you look sad, you did this morning too but then you were fine the rest of the day so I didn’t say anything. but, you look sad again now”

-“oh..”

-so suna just saw right through you

-“ um.. i’m okay.. it’s just ..” you laughed dryly “i don’t really want to go home”

-“did something happen?”

-“yeah.. my parents were fighting, it turned into this whole thing.” you felt a lump in your throat start to form “i don’t really wanna talk about it”

-“okay. you should just come over then, right?”

-“can i?”

-“you literally don’t even have to ask me anymore y/n” suna grabbed your hand and led the way

-when you got there suna hopped on his couch and started putting on something from netflix

-“my parents aren’t home, my sister has a dance thing today” he grabbed a blanket and you sat down, putting your head in his lap

-suna put on a comedy show, of course he would

-he played with your hair while you watched and after an episode or two, he asked

-“do you want to talk about it now?”

-and so you did, you told him what happened last night and what your mom said. your plan was to not cry but that failed miserably

-suna listened intently, he told you the truth, he said that what she said wasn’t true, he told you you could sleepover whenever you needed to.

-kissed you and wrapped you back in the blanket

-“i love you, you know that right? always.”

-he always knew what to say and you loved him for that

-“i love you too, suna”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.

☆ kita:

-kita knew, first thing he noticed when he saw you that you weren’t okay

-you woke up with a terrible headache, aching body and stomachache

-so this is it? this is hell? ok.

-but the test.. you had a test today. fortunately you had actually studied for weeks because you knew it was important

-mentally? you were ready for that test. physically? you had the spanish influenza

-so you weighed the options and decided you would go to school, take the test and then come back home after.

-the problem with that was that kita would in fact lecture you on all the reasons you should not have come to school

-he was right of course, but you still decided that you would need to avoid him for today

-spoiler alert it did not work

-your test was your third class of the day so you only had to get through 2 classes and you’d leave at lunch perfectly avoiding kita

-this was what you thought while you were at your locker until you closed it and walked directly into kitas chest

-“wow”

-“good morning y/n-chan”

-“morning kita! i have to go or I’ll be late!”

-you ran😭 and you almost got away too but kita grabbed your arm and pulled you to one side of the hallway

-he felt your forehead and both cheeks

-“you have a fever y/n”

-“no I don’t I’m just hot from walking to school”

-he said 😐

-you signed and rested your head on his chest letting your arms dangle

-“why did you come? you look sick”

-“thanks. I have a test.”

-“how do you feel?”

-you told him your symptoms but also that you were leaving right after the test and you could pull through

-he really didn’t want you to overwork yourself but he knew you were set on taking the test

-so he let you go and he made you promise to text him between classes and let him know if you felt any worse

-and off you went

-honestly, you were fine up until halfway through your second class.. then you started feeling really cold and tired even kind of nauseous

-then in the third class your test was put onto your desk and before you knew it your teacher was saying “begin”

-okay. you can do this you thought to yourself. the test was easy enough with how much you studied, you thought about every answer and you tried to finish quick

-but then it was like time cut itself in half and the bell for lunch was ringing

-you weren’t even done the test yet

-“y/n you can stay in here until your done but i expect you to have it finished soon”

-one question left

-you don’t even remember what you ended up putting before you were up and giving the paper to your teacher

-kita was right there when you left the classroom

-“hey ..hey.. y/n”

-you could barely hear him you just flopped into his arms

-“okay I’m taking you home.. “

-“but..”

-“shh let’s go”

-you don’t remember getting there but then you were in your bed smothered in pillows and blankets

-kita came in

-“what time is it?”

-he looked at his phone “half past 4”

-“4?!” you jolted up “did you even go back to school?” “kita?!”

-he smiled at you “no but it’s okay y/n it was only one day. i wanted to take care of you

-you noticed he had a steaming cup of something in his hands

-“what’s that” you asked

-“its tea, but it’s special tea :)”

-“what do you mean” you laughed

-“my grandma showed me how to make it, it’s gonna make you feel a lot better”

-he’s so cute...

-“kita... you didn’t have to do all this”

-“i wanted to” he sits beside you and hands you the tea

-literally tasted like heaven

-“mmmmm oh my god”

-kita laughed and kissed you on the cheek before joining you in the bed

-you cuddled and watched movies on your laptop until you fell asleep, comfortable in your boyfriends arms

186 notes · View notes