#SOMEONE DO THIS BC I AM NOT A WRITER AND I LIKE TO FEEL SAD

[spkyart]

What if Sanemi had really blinded Genya in this scene? Would he have felt guilty? Would he have regretted it? Horrible? What would have been Genya's reaction? He would be so hurt, scared and confused. His Nemi hurting him-

MY HEART IS BREAKING

[thedeathwitchescats]

Okay, review time!! If you are one of the oddballs who thinks you cant be critical of something you love I suggest you stop reading now before I ruffle your feathers. Iron flame, second in the empyrean series. I am gonna start with what I was not a fan of and then go into the shit I adored.

1) what in the actual fuck was the pacing of this book?? I can tell you what, it was non existent. There was none. Where I thought there was a lot of filler in the last book there was none in this one. We got snap shots of conversations and then *boom* more plot flew at you. The timeline of this book greatly suffered for it i think bc we end only a couple weeks, if that, after threshing, which happens sometimes in October. This book was actually so wild with times.

2) while it was a spectacular cliff hanger, xaden becoming venin pisses me off. Especially if Rebecca yarros isnt going to have him tell violet. Like if that small tid bit of a conversation we got wasnt him telling vi that he was venin then the entire romantic conflict of this book was rendered pointless and their going to be having the same fucking fight for the rest of the series and at rhat point I give up.

3) I understand that the revolution is trying to take down basgaith and make the world better or whatever the fuck but can someone actually formulate a real plan for me?? Because I feel like their mission is just, giving violet and xaden something to be pissed at each other about.

4) the entirety of cats character. I get that she was set up as a spin on the typical jealous ex. Like having her be bitter about xaden picking violet over her but OH WAIT it wasnt actually about the man it was about the crown, oohh not like other girls. Im a writer too I see the point. I dont care. I think it was trashy. If you wanted her to be a bitter spiteful ex then have her be a bitter spiteful ex, the whole crown thing was shallow.

OKAY haters your time is up now onto the shit that made my heart hurt with joy and sadness

1) xadens arc in this book. I really liked that he went from "transparency is never gonna happen" to losing his fucking mind over violet and giving her everything. I love feral men and he qualifies. I think his arc was really well done and i liked it.

2) I appericiate that violet stuck to her guns for this book. She wouldnt let xaden off without a fight and I loved that. She made him bow and scrape and I was eating it up. It was spectacular.

3) the throne room scene. Violet on the throne. "Im making a temporary point not a lasting vow of maschocism" xaden being feral.

4) that gets its own point actually, just xaden being completely feral this entire book healed a part of my soul.

5) andarna's little speech at the end where she was like "I waited for you violet" made me ugly cry. That was just so hopelessly good I loved it. Andarna in general heals my heart but that part was just *chefs kiss*

6) tarin being completely and utterly ready to eat people this entire book. Just, at every turn "I want lunch their pissing me off " was spectacular

7) every scene their squad was in. Rihannon, violet, sawyer and ridoc are my roman empire. Their bond is so amazing. The fact that they launched a rescue mission for violet. Rihannon being ready to kill xaden at every turn. Ridoc being so platonically and adorably in love with violet. Just- augh happy cries happy cries. I love it all. Their so special tbh.

8) I love xaden actually, just, the whole book every scene hes in lives in my brain.

9) I liked that we saw a small bit of violet being feral this book too. I hope that we get more of that in future books. I want more of violet losing her fucking mind. Hot, badass women covered in blood

10) Liam. Fucking Liam. When violet was kidnapped and Liam was there. Now, do I logically understand that he was a hallucination, yes, do i care?? No. He was a gift from Maleck I will be hearing no critiques on that. It was so fucking sweet and amazing. I love violet and Liam and Liam being dead so horribly breaks my heart. I loved Liam. Liams death lives rent free in my skull.

[fluxweeed]

hi i'm a grouchy old hag muttering to myself in my hut in the woods

1. not everyone finds it hurtful to find out that people are discussing their fic in private discord servers or on tiktok, actually. i for one passionately don't care that people aren't only mentioning my fic where i can see it. ofc i'm curious when one fic gets a sudden unexplained boost in kudos for a few days. am i HURT that i don't know exactly where the new readers are coming from? am i upset that the boost in hits/kudos isn't accompanied with a flurry of praise? am i sad that i can't jump into the discussion? i am not.

2. the messaging of "okay but you wouldn't post the fic if you didn't enjoy validation" makes me want to delete my ao3 immediately kasdjhfg. people post things for all sorts of reasons thank u!! my personal motivation is i'm trying to make myself feel better about making imperfect things!! the idea that by posting fic i'm inherently coming across as seeking praise makes me want to throw up. (since this discussion started, i've considered disabling comments on my fic for this reason – but i'm worried that move is so non-standard that it'll end up coming across even MORE that i want attention 😭)

3. i also pretty firmly disagree with "commenting on fic builds community!" personally i feel the community spirit when i'm in a server discussing which weasley has the biggest dick (percy). i don't feel it when people are being nice to me in my fic's comments. i'd almost go as far as to say community CAN'T be built when one person is praising another bc there's an inherent imbalance. sure, writers can mutually read and comment on each other's fic and become friends/community co-members that way, but what if u don't write? who's in YOUR comments telling u how great u are? idk about anyone else, but when i am in a community space (like a discord server) and someone starts being nice about my fic, i feel awkward; the focus shifts from a shared enjoyment onto something inherently UNshared, because one person is the creator and the others are readers. that's not to say that these interactions shouldn't happen, but imo it's disingenuous to say that's the core of fandom community.

4. i really can't stress enough how crazy it makes writers when they're writing for praise/validation. i've had conversations with very well-known drarry writers where they've been genuinely upset that nobody is reading their fic (the fic in question had hundreds of comments). i've had conversations with people who take part in fests, only to continually sort the works by stats and feel awful that theirs isn't at the top. i've had conversations with people who have had multiple devastating life events happen to them so they're struggling to write, and the lack of New Fic Comment Validation makes them feel 10x worse. i can't help but feel like if you ARE posting for feedback (or "recognition" or however you want to package it), it's genuinely not good for your brain.

5. obviously there's nuance to all of this! it's a big topic! i'm sure everyone experiences this differently! but notice how we're talking about it on tumblr, not in ao3 comments. it would probably be even more productive in a discord server. in a voice chat. you know – fandom community spaces like that.

6. can y'all keep the next round of discussions to like 700 words max pls lmao i have stuff to do

[saltyorio]

• Mourning (Alt! Timeline) •

Haven't updated my blog in over a year, huh? Well, arcane season 2 emotionally destroyed me, and even though I have my fair share of issues, I can not stop thinking about episode seven and the alternative timeline. I am not much of a fan that Vi had to die in said AU to bring true unity between Zaun and Piltover (Heimerdinger helped in that too obviously!) due to the fact the writers themselves have said they grew... tired of Vi in season 2, which led to her being so shafted. I can't help but having that statement leave kind of a bad taste in my mouth but anyways, it is a sad reality but we all know Vi would be more than glad to sacrifice her own life if it meant her family and the people of Zaun could truly live as one. Anyways, sorry about my rambling everyone, here's some family comforting one another because I will now ramble about them in this AU!!!

• I think the general sentiment regarding the family is that Vi was the oldest, Claggor one year younger than Vi, Mylo was 2 years younger than Vi, and obviously Powder was the youngest. Which meant after Vi's death, Claggor would most likely be the next one in charge of being the oldest sibling figure and we know that was NOT fun for him at all.

• Claggor definitely felt immense pressure to be like Vi, as in a caretaker and a leader, but we know he's always preferred to be one to support those he loves quietly from the side. Him and Mylo were forced to mature to take care of Powder and Claggor absolutely was the.. better sibling of the two. Doesn't mean the guy didn't feel any less stress and fear that he could lose another one of his loved ones.

• Again, episode 7 kind of established Powder as the new caretaker since Vander said "what would they do without you" but frankly I think it was a few years after Vi's passing that she decided she wanted to help Claggor take care of things and get some weight off his back, allowing him to focus on his own passion project of cultivating the hybrids as he spoke of in the episode.

• Anyways guys I'm super ill about Claggor and the rest of the family if you guys have like any angsty headcanons make sure to let me know because honestly, the drought was so bad for 3 years, now that he's back I feel myself slowly getting consumed!!!

• Extra! (Oc x Canon) •

Mandatory Xalas and Claggor content because of course I need to add Xalss into things, cue "And Bumblebee!" audio LMFAO. Still not too secure about talking about my OC fully in detail bc OCs aren't that popular in fandom spaces and face a lot of harrassment so.. I'll hold off until now. I just want Claggor to have a certain someone he can go let his worries ease, someone to comfort him while he's busy comforting everyone else.

Anywho, sorry for the long analysis and headcanons, I'm probably going to try getting more comfortable speaking about my own thoughts about this dumb found family that has forever rotted my brain for life. Hope you all enjoy some Claggor content, 10 Claggor fans!!!!

[lanalover2010]

What did you do last night ? part 1

A question idk how to answer. Let's be real, nobody really asks that question because people honestly probably don’t care enough it;s really just formalities. My answer “Nothing really” It's the “really” part that gets people wondering. Like no i'm not so close with you that i'm gonna divulge what i do in the nighttime bc that's girl time. But when i do like someone I share. I went of pinterest saving pins about my future new york apartment with hannah. I read wattpad until 2 am. An the wattpad book I read changed the innermost working in my brain but the writer fell off so i ended up reading a spinoff that wasn’t nearly as good. I thought about how women are perceived for their looks more then their brains but how I still put more work into my appearance than i do my homework. Well, at 2 am after reading a book a bout an alcoholic and drug addict girl that was really just fucked in the head I went downstairs and stole my grandparents vodka. I would say it scared me that I was related to her, but it didn't scare me. I thought about what it would be like to smoke a cigarette and a second later what it would be like to die. I feel like Sylvia Plath sometimes. I think I'm just slowly descending into madness. She mad it longer than I probably will. 34 i think. That a big number to serious to adult i hope i don't make it to far where my age starts to sound like an adult. I want to get out of this small town. I was made for the big city. Mama might think I'm bluffing but I'm not ill leave one day. Just wait. Why does she care what i think so much why does anyone care what i want to do with my own life so much? Its my life after all. I think about what it would be like if me and him were super close and we told each other our innermost secrets over a joint at her house but it won't be like that because i am me and he is him. I think about the need to be a somebody. I can’t be a nobody. I won't. I think about home I could have a mental illness like her. I'm already seeing the signs. Oh well that would make me somebody they would remember me then. They would also remember me if I offered myself but that's just the easy way out. I have too many people to prove wrong. I listen to Lana and relate myself to every single one of her songs. Sometimes I think she saved me, other times she helps me find comfort in my sadness. I think about how i was made to be lusted over and not to be actually loved. By a man at least. Hannah loves me. She gets me u know.

[feanors-mom]

Awkward *ahem* Unconventional Sailing Ships (Fëanor/fingolfin) question time!

Someone who isnt shy — please explain this to me.

I just want to *understand* where people are coming from re this ship. First, does it have a name? Is it based in a certain passage from something, vibes, or something else? What is the appeal /the trope that’s interesting here?? Is it a power dynamic thing? A half-sibling rivalry thing? Both? Something else??

Like, I get Russingon and can ship it, because it feels so obvious, like it’s right there on the page. And I even kinda get maemags (which is arguably even more taboo) bc they are sad wet bastards at the time these fics are taking place, and they have their kidnap fam (which I just love all aspects of and am willing to suspend my initial disbelief because of some amazing writers I’ve seen do literal magic with rearranging my head-canons here). But I just still cannot understand the Feanor/Fingolfin.

Can this be explained, or is this a case of heart-wants-what-it-wants (which I 100% understand, I just need to KNOW more about this because it seems pretty common, so it’s obviously not just like 3 people into it).

The mark of a GREAT writer is someone who can take what seems completely absurd and make me not just BELIEVE it, but make me DEFEND it. I’ve had this done to me with several ships that I would have, if you asked, said was just absolutely ridiculous but now I will ships ahoy right along with the best of them. (See: Maemags, I swear, y’all are some magicians and I just love it when that happens).

So, someone make me DEFEND this ship. Or understand why you do.

Here’s where my headcanons are firing ATM: Fingolfin finds Feanor genuinely unpleasant to be around, and often suspects he may be trying to murder him, and Feanor doesn’t really think of Fingolfin at all, except when he’s thinking about murdering him. Where am I off?

I hope this is understood, ALL this is said with not the tiniest hint of judgment or ship wars bc Melkor knows I have some strange thoughts scratching around this mostly smooth brain of mine, I just want to know. It is more because of my own disbelief, not any judgment . You know, pathological curiosity and all. So please, don’t be shy and tell me why you love this morally gray (but like, really really dark gray) jackass and his half brother who by all accounts is probably the hero-iest hero in the Legendarium. Maybe that’s the appeal? I’ll shut up now.

[linoalwaysknows]

Miscommunication.

Warnings: leeknow is referred to as Minho, female reader, as the title suggests miscommunication but !!! They reconcile 😌

a/n: I am. SOSOSOSOSO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG OMG.. I GOT WITH A HUGE WRITERS BLOCK (war is over). I also had finals and results, and I got.. ENGAGED??? OMG??? Anyway, this broke me to write bcs this hits a sore spot lololol, it took a while, but it's here (not like you knew it was coming, hehe 😊)

Summary: After Lee Know forgets to update you on an important schedule change—something he promised to do—you confront him, leading to a heated argument. Frustrated and hurt, you express how his repeated slip-ups make you feel unimportant in his life. Though defensive at first, Minho realizes the impact of his actions and opens up about his struggles, promising to do better. The fight ends with heartfelt apologies and a renewed commitment to improving communication, as both of you reconcile and reaffirm your importance to each other.

--------------------------------‐-------------------------------

You were sitting on the couch, arms crossed tightly against your chest. Lee Know stood a few feet away, his hands on his hips, looking equally frustrated. The tension in the room was thick enough to cut with a knife, and neither of you seemed willing to break the silence.

“I don’t understand why you’re so upset,” he finally said, his voice clipped. “It’s not like I meant to forget.”

You let out a sharp laugh, though it held no humor. “That’s exactly the problem, Minho. You always forget. You said you’d tell me when your schedule changed, and yet I had to find out through someone else. Again.”

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, his lips pressing into a thin line. “I’m busy, okay? Do you think I intentionally leave you out of things?”

“That’s not the point!” you snapped, standing up from the couch. “I know you’re busy, but it takes two seconds to send a text. It’s not about your schedule—it’s about you constantly leaving me in the dark. It makes me feel like I’m not important enough to know what’s going on in your life.”

His eyes softened for a moment before he looked away, his jaw clenching. “That’s not true. You are important to me.”

“Then why does it feel like I’m always the last to know?” you asked, your voice cracking slightly despite your effort to sound strong. “You promised me you’d do better, and yet here we are.”

He groaned, pacing back and forth. “I don’t know what you want me to say. I’m sorry, okay? But I can’t always remember everything.”

“That’s the issue, Minho,” you said quietly, your anger simmering down into sadness. “I don’t want to feel like I have to fight for a place in your life. I just want to feel like I matter.”

The room fell silent again, your words hanging heavily in the air. Minho stopped pacing and turned to look at you, guilt flashing across his face. “You do matter,” he said softly, stepping closer. “I know I’ve been careless, and I hate that I made you feel this way.”

You stayed silent, your eyes fixed on the floor. His hand reached out hesitantly, brushing against yours. “I’m not good at this,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “But I don’t want to lose you. Please.”

You glanced up at him, his expression raw and sincere. “I don’t need you to be perfect, Minho. I just need you to try. To show me that I’m worth the effort.”

He nodded, his grip on your hand tightening slightly. “I’ll do better. I swear. You’re too important to me to keep messing up like this.”

Your resolve cracked, and you let out a shaky breath, leaning into him. His arms wrapped around you immediately, pulling you close. “I’m sorry,” he murmured into your hair. “I’ll try harder. For you.”

“Okay,” you whispered, letting yourself relax in his embrace. “But no more empty promises, Minho.”

“No more,” he agreed, holding you tightly. And for the first time in a while, you felt like you were truly heard.

[panelshowsource]

my IMMEDIATE thought is judi love, right?? her and roisin 1000% not even one show each, A SHOW WITH THEM TOGETHER 😍 and it's called JUDI & ROISIN'S DOUBLE DATES 😍

hahahaha absolutely! do you remember the stationary shop / pun guessing task that tim vine did on taskmaster s6? i always thought victoria would have enjoyed every single thing about that, just my intuition...

hahahaha this is so cute! they got married not to terribly long ago, so no worries. don't you love how sweetly they speak about each other 🥹 you know, when i saw richard at his last book signing in new york, he told a quick story about how ingrid had recently written for a doctor who publication and that she is super engrossed in & proud of the doctor who world 🥹🥹🥹 (made me so happy!!! bc i'm also a massive dw fan (i make those gifs on my main!) 🥹)

this is my modest richard and ingrid tag 🥹 i hope to flesh it out even more over time hehe

yes i've been listening to these!! they keep teasing a nish kumar one coming up that is supposed to be very special in some way?

anyways the richard osman one was very sweet because there was tons of kitten talk (LOVE) and you can tell how much richard adores david — which means he had a lot of fun teasing him hahaha that's what makes richard such a good podcast guest: he's such a comedy fan!

also enjoyed the eps with ivo and sam campbell, and i'm gonna listen to at least ed gamble, rose matafeo, and amy gledhill this weekend!

are you guys liking it??

i've def seen it (i saw the comedy blogs advertising the pilot) but i'm gonna be sooo honest and say i haven't had time to give it a listen yet TT have you?? i'm obsessed with both of them and will DEF listen to it this week! i'll post my thoughts :)

honestly, i think there are more comedy writers and comedy actors than proper comedians that i would like to read bios of. simon pegg comes to mind first! i also think it would be fascinating to read a kind of day-by-day journal of a proper circuit comedian, someone who could humorously and truthfully document the lifestyle. did you have someone in mind who hasn't written one?

as for books that are already published, i really want to read bonkers by jen saunders as well as richard e grant's semi-new autobiography (i'm worried it's going to be exceptionally sad since he'll always be dealing with the passing of his wife and he's very open about grief 🥺), so hopefully i get around to those before too long!

i haven't, tbh i never watched miranda, not going out, or even call the midwife — so even though i've obviouslyyy seen her around, sometimes on panel shows, and absolutely acknowledge how big she was/is, i don't carry enough nostalgia to read her whole bio. THAT SAID, i agree she was so so touching on graham norton and i think her stories both about her health and about finding love were SO LOVELY 💜 but if you tell me it's a must read then i'll definitely check it out!

and for anyone who's interested i added the audiobook to my drive :)

okay this scared me HAHAHA because as much as that is obviously not true if one uses a single modicum of common sense i am so easily fooled—

anyways it was a sweet episode! i don't really listen to that show but i was hoping to hear more about joe's particular approach to parenting, and even though he is clearly very private it was endearing. i love how much he loves birmingham (as someone who doesn't really have a hometown it's something i'm always fascinated by and envious of in others), and he really put his foot down about his sexuality! he was like "bi is bi, pan is pan, it's on you if you wanted to call me gay anyways" and PERIOD KING !! anyways, super happy for him. i have a feeling he won't post very much about it or even talk much about it in general, but i selfishly hope he does 🥹

it was a cute episode!! highlights for me include rob being extremely new to the concept of kimchi, rob claiming he doesn't understand why people care so much about seasoning (my fellow americans, have fun with that one), and rob roasting steve coogan lmaooo also i never get sick of the alan bennett impression i love how it's almost tom courtenay it's hilarious to me

i've loved a lot of the recent eps, especially the ones with matthew macfadyen and richard e grant (funniest man alive)! and i watched the gordon ramsay episode like 5 times, it was sooo interesting and soooooo sweet to hear about his relationship with angela!

one thing i really like about this show — besides how awesome angela is — is that nick asks the genuine questions someone who isn't big into cooking would ask. like, when they were eating the rib eye, he was like, "if someone wanted to make this at home, what would they ask the butcher for? is this a specific cut of meat?" and even though it's like 'lol yeah nick...rib eye...' people who aren't familiar with cooking beef wouldn't have known that! he asks about cuts, measurements, cooking times, that sort of thing in a way that feels genuine and curious, which i appreciate (as someone who doesn't cook a lot lmao)

for sure!

hello anon! these are always posted on reddit every single night that they air, i recommend sending a polite "hello would you kindly add me to the sub?" message (you don't need to get fancier or more specific than that; they have to keep the sub private for obvious reasons so no need to feel intimidated) to r/TV_NCA so you can snag those links each week

sure anon i'll work on that for you this weekend xx

—

PANEL SHOW WATCH LINKS / NON-PANEL SHOW WATCH LINKS FAQ / ASK

[divine-motion]

while i'm at it i'm gonna write down some Ayre thoughts bc sometimes misinterpretations of her character + her relationship w Raven are sooooo. they're so exhausting to read. because here's the thing: any idea about her being an unwelcome passenger in 621 Raven's head is just... wrong, is the thing. because. if you'll recall. she says, specifically, that she has a favor to ask of Raven, asking them to let her remain in Contact with her, and we know in the Fires ending that she can just leave. this, and the fact that local workaholic Raven jumps at the chance to take a job without Walter's authorization shows that while maybe the player doesn't want her there, Raven does. Carla even says that it seems like they've lost somebody too after the mission where you fight Freud and Chatty dies, the first mission since the end of Chapter 1 where Ayre is not present. Raven is sad about her being gone! they like having the lady in their head that calls them stud muffin!

and then there's the idea that she manipulates Raven in any capacity, in any ending, but most people tend to point to Alea Iacta Est when they call her manipulative, which is... okay. let's start by saying that Ayre holds no power over Raven, and always asks things of them, she does not order them, she gives suggestions, and offers support. valuable support! she unlocks things, shows them the way, and gives kind words. she definitely doesn't agree with going against the Liberation Front, but she still doesn't try to stop Raven when they go with the corporations instead. if anything, i think her passivity is something that weakens her character a bit, even if i understand what the writers are going for - they want the players to sympathize and empathize with the Coral's plight, and so they make the one voice for the Coral a really kind and supportive presence, only snapping once you're actually trying to burn her planet and doom her people to extinction.

then there's Alea Iacta Est, and. here's the thing. i am struggling to see how anyone could see her as manipulative in this route, because, again, she is only showing you the jobs ALLMIND is offering you and supporting your decisions bc she also believes in a shared future of symbiosis between humanity and the Coral. hell, one thing that will lock you out of the Alea Iacta Est ending is if you choose Ayre's Tunnel Survey mission instead of ALLMIND's Coral Transport Denial! i know, because i tried doing that on my latest liberator ending run-through! (got me some nice new dialogue too bc i had to kill Dolmayan in that runthrough) she won't force or manipulate Raven's hand into doing anything, because it's Raven's decisions that lead them on ALLMIND's path. some of them unknowingly, of course, but Raven's decisions regardless. Raven is an extremely committed individual, a symbol of resolve if you will, and they are the one making the choices to pursue Coral Release and symbiosis. (what does "loss of humanity", as O'Keeffe sort of puts it, mean to someone who's already been denied their humanity, anyway?)

now, about Coral Release itself, because i feel it's worth saying, also. to talk about Coral Release as if it is something sinister, something that will like forcibly change humanity or whatever, is kind of useless? because Coral Release is just. change. upending of the status quo. that's the big statement of Alea Iacta Est, the die being cast, so that things will change in a way where, yes, they will never be the same again, and here, that's a good thing. it is a statement that the way things are is unsustainable, that we can't keep exploiting people and planets, that the systems in place are harmful and can't be allowed to continue. it's the Age of Stars: mecha edition, to speak in Elden Ring terms. Coral Release presents the path forward that lets Coral and humanity co-exist without humanity using Coral as nothing but a resource, and because both of them have reached the stars, and they can't go back. i also reject the notion that Coral Release is some kind of... assimilation? ALLMIND uses the words "assimilate" when they want to take Raven and Ayre into themself, assimilating them likely the same way they assimilated Iguazu. it's clear the game takes a stance that assimilation's like a bad thing. the same game that plays a song called Stargazer in the credits, presenting Alea Iacta Est as distinctly hopeful, does not consider Coral Release to be assimilation. saying that humanity - and the Coral! we don't know how they feel about it considering the fact that it's an augmented human and a coral wave mutation that's needed for it to happen, and Ayre didn't know this shit was possible until ALLMIND rocked up - would be forced into this assimilation is... well, again, Coral Release is about change and upending the status quo, so this argument is kind of the same as saying "well what about all the people who LIKE living in a capitalist hellscape?? you can't force them into a socialist utopia" or whatever, essentially.

actually this also presents like my biggest issue with the Alea Iacta Est ending, which is that it ends with Ayre saying "Main system: Activating combat mode", because while i get why she says that, it's a line we've become used to as like the one that lets us move, representing that it's time to play the video game for real and get to swoosh around and explore the game world and get to shoot/stab things, not to mention that Ayre does also say that in your first "sortie" with her when you fight BALTEUS so it's like a little callback, and to show that COM is gone from Raven who had at this point been proven to be a pawn of ALLMIND, HOWEVER. however. i think Alea Iacta Est should represent possibility to live without violence, without having to exist as a body in the form of a gun, you know? it's a little thing but it's a big misstep for me.

anyways. where was i? this got away from me and i'm too tired and stressed about uni assignments to go back and read whatever the hell i've written. Ayre is nice is the thing and Raven does in fact like having her in their head. Coral Release is also not evil it's change incarnate, is also something i was kind of getting at, also, i guess? that's it i think. anyone ever think abt how Fromsoft's two latest games include dogboy boybestfriends (Blaidd, Rusty) and disembodied girlbestfriends that will walk with you into the reject-the-status-quo endings?

[static-radio-ao3]

writer interview game 💌

thank you for tagging me @pretentiouswreckingball @messymoony @rae-lune @magswrite @spacexcowgirl @fruityindividual @calamitoustide @inevitablestars i’m sorry it took me so long <3

how many works do you have on ao3? 10!

what's your total ao3 word count? 95,596 words

your top 5 stories by kudos? where all light comes in don't like it fake (i think it's true love) talking on the ride home got me spinnin’ out of control give me your two lips (baby, i'll shut up)

do you respond to comments? i do!! i love love love comments and i try to reply to all of them, even if it’s just to say thank you <33

what's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? probably when these bones decay?? i can’t commit to a full sad ending but i think this one is the most ambiguous out of all of them

do you write crossovers? have not and probably will not!

have you ever received hate on a fic? not that i know of and i sure would like to keep it that way!!

do you write smut? i have, on occasion, but i find it so difficult and the stars really need to align for me to even want to attempt it…. i wrote a pwp a year ago and truly idk what possessed me!!

have you ever had a fic stolen? no!

have you ever had a fic translated? i have not! someone did ask to translate light as a ghost (on my mind you weigh the most) but i politely declined bc i would rather have full control over my fics

have you ever co-written a fic before? i haven’t but might soon!!

what's your all-time favorite ship? jegulus solo every time, i fear

what's a wip that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? idk if i have one bc i mainly write oneshots, although i had this idea for a canon divergent post-war fic and idk if i'll get around to writing that, but who knows!!

what are your writing strengths? i think dialogue!! i love writing dialogue and i also i think i’m funny + i am my own target audience

what are your writing weaknesses? i find it so annoying and difficult to write out the space + setting :// i do it but grudgingly… if it were up to me, i would just be writing dialogues, thoughts, and feelings!!

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? i haven’t done it but i don’t mind it!!

what's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to? ummm honestly very happy chilling out in my jegulus corner!! i did write a single jarty microfic but other than that, i’ve only ever written jegulus

what's your favorite fic you've ever written? i think mariah carey, mistletoe, and other christmas clichés or talking on the ride home… very very fond of regulus in those stories specifically

no pressure tags: @carniferous @donotwishonme @sugarsnappeases @poetskings and anyone else who feels like sharing!!

[findafight]

hi i'm the anon that sent the ask about someone telling joyce and oh my god it being hopper that says it is so good. i can totally see him doing that. i also love that you added steve finding out from murray bc that's always been my preferred hc for how steve would find out. murray saying something about it that's weird and out of pocket is him to a tee imo. poor steve i feel so bad for him in this au, at least hopper is on his side completely. ty for acknowledging how fucked up it is that nancy and jonathan but esp nancy never actually told steve. i wonder what she would've done/told him if steve hadn't bit the bullet and broken up w her.

Thank youuuu (love getting ask mwah) (also idk what to call the au) Listen I loooove Steve and Hopper accidentally adopting each other. In my brain Dustin talked up Steve's hair skills to El at the snowball and she gets all starry-eyed like he knows! Hair? :0 Dustin you have to convince Steve to come over to my house and help me with my hair and I will convince hop to let him come! I also need hair advice!! Hop barely has hair!! Which is how Steve gets a little sister pre S3 (like he always wanted) (he also gets max a bit later too godbless) (sibling collector lmao) Steve 100% calls Hop dad once without realizing and Hopper gets choked up and Steve's like you okay there?? And Hop has to go yeah yeah I'm finE so he doesn't embarrass Steve. That's the shit. (Also makes more Steve and El angst post S3 with hop gone and them being separated ;-;)

Hopper gets to be a jackass to on his kid's behalf and I think that's actually beautiful.

Oh, yeah. The more I've thought about it the more I feel like Steve has no clue Nancy cheated on him. We saw how he acted in S1 when he thought so and while S2 Steve wouldn't be so extreme, he'd definitely be crushed. And with S4...idk I don't think Steve knew about the cheating then. It just seems like he wouldn't. Want to go back after being cheated on? Or that he'd have some serious hang ups with Nancy. Even if he still loved her if he knew she slept with Jonathan, would he want to act on it? Also did he know they were still together? Does she mention Jonathan at all to anyone but Fred?

Also Murray. You bizarre jackass. Of COURSE it was him. He'd feel guilty about it because he totally thought Steve knew and he was just trying to be a dickhead but not like. Cruel. so it's awwwkwaaaard and not the fun kind he can manipulate just the sad kind that has Hopper glaring at him.

Yeah... I understand that the writers do not feel like Nancy cheated but I have eyes and media comprehension and know how relationships work and Nancy herself said she had Steve back home to Murray so. What else am I supposed to think. I get why Nancy and Jon don't interact with Steve after the Upside Down but like. Not even to apologize to him? Did Nancy's relationship with Steve mean so little to her? I do think she, at one point, did love Steve, or convinced herself of it and did care for him, but for her to drop him like a hot potato the second Jonathan gets the nerve to make a move (she said she waited a month for him before going back to a probably grovelling Steve [based on how desperate he was at the Byers' to apologize to Jon] and it's like Woah! Okay writers! What do you want us to believe about this relationship?!) So just. Why didn't she actually tell Steve what happened? Idk. Jon I kinda get he and Steve were love rivals and Jonathan is already awkward it probably would have been weird and also it wasn't his place to say! It should have been Nancy!

Honestly if Steve hadn't broken things off....idk. I don't think she necessarily would have continued with both of them, but I think Nancy tends to look for easy ways out of relationship hurdles. So. Maybe it would have festered for a few months, before Steve finally couldn't stand the tension and cut things off there. I don't actually think, based on what we've seen in the show, the scene between Nancy and Steve could have gone any different. Like. It should have. Nancy definitely could have acknowledged her role in the crumbling relationship, but I think Steve letting her go is a significant character beat for him. He chooses he's not going to hold onto someone who doesn't want to be with him. For me that's him trying to move past his issues from his parents and to continue to be better.

Yeah this au is not nice to poor Steve. He does have support! Robin and Eddie are both there and know everything, Hopper and El also know most stuff and are very worried about why he's so keen to leave the house all the time (he doesn't live there but he doesn't...not live there...) Buddy's got issues that will be heightened by all these things happening with Joyce!

[simpjaes]

from writer to writer (and because you're someone i do admire a lot when it comes to creating beautiful fics), what do you do when you start hating your writing?

this might be long, so so sorry. feel free to ignore honestly.

rereading my works, i hate them... i've been writing fics for so long (like dating back to asianfanfics and quotev type long). my writing style feels so... unfufilling? i love the prompts that i've done and i love that others love them but- it's just empty? i think i'm putting my heart into it but i'm not?

after reading so many classics, i feel like i'm just spitting out what i know? not what i feel?

girl... after watching alchemy of souls, a light just went off in my head is making want to delete everything and start from scratch grrr

tbh…my best advice is to not read your own work after a long long long while once you’ve posted it. i always hate everything i write and am very rarely proud of it. but i let it simmer and let the feedback sink in, so later on if i ever re read my works, i go in with a more positive attitude and generally it makes me think like “wow, i wrote this.” rather than “😟 i can’t believe i posted this.”

pls don’t delete your work! you can do what i do and revamp stuff if it’s really bothering you! Something i do quite often even without revamping for other bands. the fact of the matter is, we grow as writers and what you wrote last year will likely be considered worse than what you did this year in your own eyes bc you know you’ve grown.

i personally find seeing the growth really lovely. my first kpop fic was AWFUL, but i cried when i wrote it and im very attached to it. i’ve revamped it twice now because ive developed a more clear narrator voice. I will never let anything i worked hard on die, even if i hate it. i just rework it until it’s tolerable tbh.

also, keep in mind that many people will read even what you consider to be your worst fic ever and love it dearly. Be as gentle with yourself as your favorite readers are, they’ll be sad if you remove old fics. Even if it’s only one person missing it, that still means it’s worthy.

that being said, if it really is hard to keep them up, i support whatever you wanna do to make yourself feel more comfortable. private them, delete them, rework them, rewrite them entirely. It’s all worth it as long as you’re doing what you want !

[cringelordofchaos]

top 3 of your biggest kins and why!!

Yayayay someone sent me an ask !!!

Sorry for my lack of response! Will get to it now!

Also I assume you mean fictionkin - sorry if you didn't!

Luz Noceda

Dvdhnfjdjd WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN? I've been so fucking obsessed w her and could relate to her WAYY too much since I started watching. Just... Ugh. So much of it. Being "the weird kid", inconsistent and lackluster grades / performance, being overly obsessed with a specific franchise (though mine come and go and return every few weeks lol), having a mom who really cares about you and wants the best for you and has had similar experiences growing up and being isolated or cast out but accidentally made you feel like you had to conform because that's what she kinda had to do??? idk but still encourages her child's true self and feels super guilty Abt it all yada yada. having little to no friends (I have one! (Speaking of offline) before visiting the demon realm. Fanfic writer (I never have the patience or motivation to finish anything I start though), being impulsive, not knowing whay you wanna be, being into witchcraft, feeling like you're somewhere where you don't belong (the human realm) and would gladly escape into a whole different realm, Bisexual (I'm questioning this though), gender nonconforming, being told that you just have to "apply yourself", insecure, similar clothing style, considers herself a "dummy", poor attention span for things she's uninterested, indecisive, etc etc, THIS SCENE THIS SCENE THIS SCENE

(ps the way camilla hovered her hand above the screen / luz when she saw how sad she was 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺)

It's just. Everything.. I remember the first time I watched it I was like "Luz is so me in almost every single way. Except she makes a ton of eye contact, I don't rly do that" lmao... I would rewatch s1 and S2 on loop every day for the whole summer, I am NOT exaggerating. I rly love TOH I'm so.glad I got the opportunity to watch it and it means sm to me and I keep rewatching the scene from thanks to them and auhggjt.

"all I ever wanted... Was to be understood!" HEJDJFJDIDJRUJDJEKF DJJFFJNFB FIKF

AARON MITCHELL

oh my GOD when I saw this movie for a few days I'd cry sm just bc of how much I related.to him. He chews his shirt. I used to do the same when I was twelve and a bunch of my shirts had holes and still have holes but I stopped and now I just grid my teeth instead lmfao and they hurt ouch. a piece of gum is a lifesaver for.me. He's OBSESSED with dinosaurs - for me it's not dinosaurs specifically but like I've said earlier I tend to get OBSESSED with things way too much to the point everyone knows me for that thing. He's implied to have ZERO FRIENDS before meeting Abby who shares his obsession w dinosaurs (just like me and my one n only friend fr) (why do I keep getting attached to characters who previously had zero friends wtf.) LOVES to talk Abt his interest. Obsessive. Shy. Awful social skills. Takes things too literally sometimes. Calls his dad father sometimes cuz why not ("Thank you, father." after he gave him his phone back "just as promised" (except he broke it in pieces but he.kept his promise so aaron doesn't care lmao.) carries a notebook and pencil w him randomly?. his older sibling and parent argue abt the siblings college choices and you're just forced to watch and the tension is rising and you're feeling anxious and Uhm yeah. SOMETIMES KINDA ROBOTIC IN HIS SPEECH? I've noticed? Blunt. Has a TON of things related to his obsession. (For me I have primarily a tonshit of sonic themed things.) dislikes being alone. Dislikes admitting his feelings. Nerd. Uses obsession as a way to understand, contextualize and communicate with the world and his surroundings. Also chews his fingers. Always wearing sweatpants. Fidgety. Ect etc. Just lile arhghfhfng. HIM.

Things I don't relate to - wearing shoes in bed. What the actual fuck Aaron. Also he wears socks. I don't do that unless I'm nailed down to the floor until I succumb to their nonsensical rules. Ok they KINDA make sense but I don't like them. I don't care that my shoes or feet will smell afterwards get those fucking socks away from me.

. anyway sorry. There's probably more but yeah I forgot. I actually got the urge to cry when just thinking about him a couple of times. Like wowza dawg he's just like me fr and I mean it. I can really really relate to him and I act a lot like him and I acted even more like him when I was about his age and was obsessed with exclusively sonic for like a year straight. lol

Enderman

Ok this one's a short one but yeah I can relate to them. They're just minding their own business, in their own piece, picking random things off the ground (or ground itself..), DESPISE eye contact and will get really violent if you make eye contact with them (I am not exaggerating I actually get really angry and uncomfortable with uninitiated eye contact from ppl I'm not comfy with like don't look at me stop looking at me stop looking at me.) makes random sounds sometimes, such as screeches and hisses. Unlike them I DO like water and I LOVE rain HOWEVER I DO NOT LIKE touching smaller amounts of water on surfaces where I don't expect water to be and get really grossed out and uncomfortable from it. Unless they're with their own kin they're just kinda going around, alone, minding their peace unless provoked. Like most mobs - both hostile and peaceful - acknowledge your existence, hostile ones attack you, peaceful ones like horses and sheep and pigs and wolves and cats and whatnot may look at you if you look at it and pay attention to you and some can be befriended, enderman is neither like them, they're minding their own business, they don't initiate contact like, ever, and only engage w the player when having to defend themselves... when feeling threatened EVEN if the player didn't mean to scare them, like idk I'm.noy.really used to strangers having good intentions with me so I get defensive easily .... that is irl, on the internet I definitely don't get ever scared from social interactions ahaha 😎 yeah.

So yeah the only thing I KINDA can't relate to is not liking water - I only dislike water in a very specific context so yeah. And I do make eye contact w family members usually like I've mentioned earlier - I don't know, do endermen make eye contact with each other? I'm not sure, I don't remember. There might be more to them that I relate to but I can't recall anything at the moment

Everything I've mentioned about these characters in This post - I can relate to. These are just my feelings put imperfectly into words.... but I feel a lot about them and have felt a lot about them for quite some time.

Ducbfjrj there's also a list of characters I relate to (link in intro post) but these were the ones I related to the most

[writingwithfolklore]

hello! I saw one of your more recent posts about straight people writing wlw characters. I totally agree with you. As a sapphic person myself i would love to see more sapphic media, literature specifically, out there in the world. however i saw that you said it wasn’t a very “sensitive” topic. i kinda feel the opposite. I understand that it might not be the most sensitive subject to cover but i think that when it comes to lesbian/sapphic relationships being portrayed in the media there definitely needs to be some care taken with the story, or i guess sensitivity taken into account.

often lesbians or queer women in general are highly sexualized even when the writers may not be trying to do so (it’s almost like it’s hardwired into society’s brain to sexualize us lol). it’s also kinda a running joke in the community that no wlw story line ends happily, usually it ends in death or heartbreak. it’s funny but it’s also a bit sad i think. i just feel that going forward as writers of books, movies, tv shows, etc. it’s majorly important that we be sensitive to the communities feelings on that.

There are also so many layers when it comes to understanding and portraying what a “lesbian” is. I think if someone, straight or not, is going to write a lesbian character then it’s important for them to understand and be sensitive to this.

I think a great example of a wlw storyline that was done beautifully with so much consideration for the community was the sapphic story in Arcane. I and many others felt very satisfied with it but the straight side of the fandom kinda spiraled and tainted it in a way. I think it serves as a good reminder that wlw stories are serious and should be handled with care and sensitivity by the writer and viewer.

I’m not saying any of this to attack you or what you said(bc i definitely do agree with you) and i really hope it’s not coming across that way. Feel free to ignore this these thoughts were just floating around for me after i read the post and i thought it brought up an interesting conversation. I just thought i’d kinda share what i was thinking. anyway i love you advice and find it super helpful when going through my writing process 🫶

Hello!

Thanks for writing this! You're totally right and valid to have these concerns and I appreciate you bringing it up because it is a really interesting conversation! The reason why I said wlw wasn't necessarily a sensitive subject is because I don't see it as inherently harmful, as opposed to writing about homophobia or racism for example, which in any sense of its depiction is harmful to someone and should be taken with extreme care.

That's not to say that someone can't write about wlw in a harmful way, and so for that reason many would consider it a sensitive subject. There's unfortunately many more harmful depictions of queer people in media than not as you pointed out, but I think I hesitate to call it sensitive because I don't want to equate these stereotypes and harm and struggle with the identity itself. I am also a queer person, and I think the way people can talk about queerness is at times very othering.

However, you are right in that people, especially not in the queer community, should be taking care with writing queer identities because there is a lot of harm there, and that simply saying that an identity is or is not a sensitive subject in one sentence doesn't really sum up the whole discourse about queerness, depiction, and identity. I'm happy to edit that post to reflect that. <3

[fonulyn]

"I've read this fic seven times already!" PLEASE I'm BEGGING you leave a comment on one of those rereads if that's really true it's...

sigh.

I go to a fic. look at the two comments it has. get sad. quit everything. cry myself to sleep. and then later i see someone saying they've read it multiple times but i guess it sucked on all those rereads bc there's not a single comment from the person.

and this happens SO MUCH. so many times someone has said they reread my fics a lot or have read a specific gift fic for them multiple times but NO COMMENT. why??? I genuinely do not understand why it's so hard to write a few words in the damn comment box when it would mean the world to the writer????

i mean. i am happy people are apparently reading and rereading sure. but. god. damn. i'm tired. i legit don't think this is fair.

it feels like i'm screaming into the void, and there actually are people who are listening but they're doing their damnest to hide it from me to make sure i'll keep feeling lonely and frustrated forever. yay.

[tryhardgwen]

hi gwen!

tysm for writing and posting, I really love all of your work!

quick question just for fun: if someone could only read five of your fics and no more, and you got to pick which ones, which five would you want them to read? you can include wips if you want

happy writing and i can’t wait for your next update!

anon i am so sorry for the late reply, i just. had to think about this a LOT. then i may or may not have forgot about it. oops. but thank you so much for the submission and for enjoying my fics!!

ok we are NOT including wips because that would make this answer infinitely harder. also because i can’t really judge them because… they’re not… done. im also not counting i want your violence, since it's not finished. i AM including kim suhwan vs. the world, however, because it's essentially finished. so i'm picking out of my 25 fics. that being said, here is my list of my 5 fics i would want people to read:

kim suhwan vs. the world

all my love

the mouth of the wolf, the eyes of the lamb

and all of my dreams, they’re growing lucid (i mean, can we do two here? just the whole busan boy series. this and the beach.)

don’t blame me

pour one out for the fakenuts sure, but i havent written one im incredibly proud of yet. if the one im working on turns out good, then well… 😶‍🌫️ but thats neither here nor there since it is NOT FINISHED and i dont wanna torture myself with choosing.. really op i have 26 published fics and ur making me choose FIVE of 25. ok, i will delve into my reasoning under here.

ahem. so, to start with... kim suhwan vs. the world. i feel like this one is a little self-explanatory, if only because it's my most recent fic. i do think it's one of my best written (my older fics are definitely lacking in skill, i didn't get good at writing until late 2023 i'd say) and i just... love the plot. so writing quality is great, concept also great! description amazing, dialogue amazing. my best work so far... i guess that makes sense, since im improving in skill as i write and grow more. i love peyz. i love writing fics about love and growing up and coming of age, and okay i DID project a bit onto peyz because i too have an unrequited crush and uh... i struggle with my emotions being a "lot" a lot. especially as of late, ive been "feeling" a lot. i get angry, i get sad. i mean my dad died lol! (i do sort of separate my fics nowadays as pre-dad death and post) but this story is just so special to me. you can see my growth as a person and a writer in comparison to my first fics. i mean, its been two years, pretty much. suhwan here is so special to me, and so is jihoon, honestly. wangho is too, and... god i do love geng 2023 so much. AGH. i know chapter 5 isn't out yet, but it will be tonight, or tomorrow! before t1 geng semis, at least. i hope.

next, all my love. also self-explanatory i think. it's my most popular fic, and even though i don't even really like onerzeus, i love this story and i love my iteration of them. i really badly wanted to write a second chance homecoming story (fun fact, aml was almost a bengifaker instead of onerzeus!) and i ended up doing that. i chose onerzeus since i thought they fit it. and then the fic sorta snowballed. i initially wanted 3 chapters, 10k each, 30k total word count. hoo boy that didn't happen LOL. EVERYTHING snowballed. i started putting all my favorite music in it, and putting cars and stick shifts in, and making the almost-family have an auto shop. i put jojopyun in bc i fucking love the guy so, so much. i put many bits of myself and my dad into it (i look back on this fic with a tad bit of sentimentality because it has so much of him in it. i did write that fic before he died). but i put just.. things i wanted to put in. it was SO self indulgent! gumakeria marriage, jojopyun, music, and cars... i remember working super hard on this fic in particular, and i think it paid off. all the "surprises"/cliffhanger type-things were something i put a lot work into. i think the writing quality of this fic is... halfway decent/pretty good... description was almost amazing, and dialogue was pretty good. conceptually, one of my best. this fic will always be special to me.

next would (maybe surprisingly?) be the mouth of the wolf, the eyes of the lamb. conceptually, i believe this is my best fic conceptually, which is why i chose it. i really don't think this shows my best writing at all (not even top 5 best writing) but i think i execute the CONCEPT well regardless! i did write it in pretty much one sitting because i was in the midst of burnout and i just got the idea and knew i had to get it out, so that's my excuse on the sub-par writing quality and possibly choppy plotline. it has pretty okay description, not bad dialogue. i definitely could've made it smoother. but in general, i just love the "lck mid holy trinity" of faker, showmaker, and chovy. i love lck midlaners so much. the idea of showmaker and chovy being kindred and faker the grey man descended upon me like a blessing from the gods. BY GOD DID I COOK. i didn't write a ton of au fics prior to this fic (ntm any fantasy aus), but i really should more. i love it so much, and i love the ending (which i wrote at like 4 am in the morning in a haze because i randomly thought of it half asleep!) i'm super proud of this conceptually and i need to write more lck mid fics in general (this time with scout too!?)

okay, i really wish i could count the busan boy series as one. but i cannot, so i am choosing and all of my dreams, they're growing lucid. despite it ill be talking about both fics in this section. i think this is my best work slash series of canon-compliant gumakeria i've written thus far--(i haven't written a ton since it came out, if at all, honestly). i feel like i really perfected their characterization here, over writing so much gumakeria. the reason i pick aaomdtgl over the beach is probably writing quality/skill. busan boy is by far my "favorite" of the two concepts, but it's lacking in execution, and it's noticeable especially in comparison to its sequel. the beach has okay writing, pretty decent description, and amazing concept. and all of my dreams has great writing, great description, and great concept. i was always grumpy the beach got so much less attention than and all of my dreams, but... i guess it's for a reason, lol (also bc its um. SAD! they LOSE!). (please go read the beach if you haven't though... i do love that fic so, so much.) also stream niki and the neighbourhood... read! my first songfics i guess, i just love those two albums. also i was a tad bit insane for these two fics--i wrote the beach because i was like, worlds in Korea? lets win. time to write losing in Korea fic first to set up for it. then i wrote a large percentage of and all of my dreams before t1 even won worlds because i was so sure of it. 2023 gwen was insane.

lastly is don't blame me. this is largely because of concept, because the writing is ass. don't blame me was my second published fic, so that's my excuse. the writing IS bad, i was waltzing along lacking in skill... yeah. the prose is so short and empty and fucking hell i could nitpick all day. i guess it sort of fits the fic?? (no im lying to myself lol it just sucks.) the description is meh, the dialogue gets the point across. but CONCEPTUALLY... the fic eats! it slays! demon keria yes pls! good job 2023 gwen! you did slay! my au fics do slay, and i had so much fun with this. i really fell into the rabbithole of league lore... god i love it so much. it's just so fun to write. and the ending! i love the ending a lot and i just like the tone and mood of the fic. i mean, its chilly, a little haunting... im not sure. dbm still has unwritten sequels LMAO i may or may not choose to write... i want to, but it's been a long time... i guess only time will tell.

so... yeah! that'd be my list. if you're interested in hearing why i DIDNT include some (one) fic, keep reading :] (wjnstt was the only one i wanted to address.)

now i think the main question to myself when choosing was... do i include we just need some time together or not? i know its a rather popular fic of mine, but i nixed it in favor of dbm i guess because i prefer dbm. and in terms of canon compliant gumakeria, busan boy clears it and does it a whole lot better in everything (characterization, writing quality, dynamic, everything). i don't... like wjnstt, not really. i mean, i haven't read it in a long while, so i couldn't tell u if that's 100% accurate of a conclusion, but. it was the first fic i ever started writing, and you can TELL. hoo boy writing quality be IN THE GUTTER. oh my GOD. to be fair, again, i haven't read it in a while so my judgment is probably a bit skewed/i could be misremembering. but i haven't reread it because IM SCARED OF IT. IM GOING TO GET SO MUCH SECONDHAND EMBARASSMENT AND CRINGE AT MYSELF OH GOD. ITS SO ASS. FUCKING HELL. my characterization is kinda ass (all of the characters), my writing quality/skill is unpolished... so many things. my description is okay... meh... i guess. my dialogue is probably the best part of the fic, and that's only halfway decent. but at the same time, i remember pouring my heart into this fic. i really do. conceptually, i think it was okay, and i remember it meaning a lot to me. i guess i just... sort of grew up and out of it. i mean, its been two years, pretty much. i wrote it in the midst of a bad depression slump, and i was younger, and... a lot changed since then, bascially. okay maybe i should reread it. fuck. we'll see i guess. i have a love hate relationship with this fic, that's all ill say for now. it'd probably make... top 6 or top 7. yeah. not sure. not top 5 though, sorry.

anyway, thank you so much for the question again op, and i'm so sorry for the late reply! and for yapping. i yapped a lot. hopefully you liked reading it though. much love, hope you have an amazing day, and let's gear up for worlds semis this weekend!!