#SOME of you don't understand some things are bigger than him

[wonderlandcrown]

𝑆𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝑀𝑦 𝑃𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑊𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝐶𝑜𝑚𝑒

𝑉𝑖𝑙 𝑥 𝑌𝑢𝑢(𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟)

a/n : book 5 spoilers, also Vil didn't know Jamil overbloted until book 6. reader is gn and referred to as "Yuu, the prefect, you, they/them pronouns"

genre : light angst, romance(pining)

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛💜♛┈⛧┈┈•༶

Someday my prince will come Someday I'll find my love And how thrilling that moment will be When the prince of my dreams comes to me He'll whisper, "I love you" And steal a kiss or two Though he's far away I'll find my love someday Someday when my dreams come true

Vil was reluctant to stay in Ramshackle during VDC, "A messy room equals a messy mind", is what he tells his dorm mates. Though he understood that the prefect didn't choose to stay there, Vil Schoenheit was never a fan of unclean spaces.

But Vil had bigger problems at the moment, Neige will undoubtedly show up for the competition, and his dream- no, his goal will be in jeopardy.

The headmage did say that the prefect was quite talented in bringing people together...

Fine then, if staying in a dingy dorm means having a chance at winning against Neige, he'll do it.

"How thrilling, " Vil thought, "will my moment of victory be."

Someday I'll find my love Someone to call my own And I'll know him the moment we meet For my heart will start skipping a beat Some day we'll say, "I do" Things we've been longing to Though he's far away I'll find my love someday Someday when my dreams come true

Vil noticed the scars around the prefects hands, undoubtedly the result of going through no less than 3 overblots, not to mention all of them happened under a year!

Vil scoffs, Crowley must be more incompetent than he thought if he allowed a poor defenseless student to get caught up in so much trouble; or is it Yuu who is careless?

He originally saw you akin to something like a pathetic wet cat : lost, clueless, naive.

Though he'll admit he was quite wrong, your occasional sharp jabs towards the trio of potatoes(Ace, Deuce and Grim) didn't go unnoticed by Vil. He thinks you're quite funny, you act so brazenly and sarcastic around your friends but around strangers you suddenly become quiet and well spoken, you remind him of the difference of his personalities on camera and off.

Though that's the only thing he and you have in common.

Vil remembers perfectly well the glare Yuu shot at him when he cursed the delicacies Trey gifted the younger spudlings. It was a necessary measure! You're smarter than your friends, you should understand that they would've tried to break away from the diet Vil gave them.

Vil doesn't understand, he doesn't understand those potatoes, didn't they agree to this? Don't they want to win? If they do they should listen to him, he knows what's best, he's been trained for countless competitions since he was young, these diets, these restrictions have been imposed onto him ever since then and they will be forevermore.

For them, it'll only be a moment before they're back to their normal lives, so why can't they understand? Vil understood ever since he was young, so why can't they?

He's been longing for the chance to stay on stage until the very last moment, so why can't Yuu just do what he says and help those idiots cooperate with him.

Vil pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs, he shouldn't dwell on unnecessary things for too long, lest he stray from his goal.

Somewhere waiting for me There is someone I'm longing to see Someone I simply can't help but adore Someone who'll thrill me forever

"Hey, uh, can we discuss something? "

It was already late afternoon, Epel had screamed at Vil and ran away from the dorm and one of your friends, Deuce, he remembers, ran after him. But they haven't been back.

He lets out a sigh, not bothering to hide his frustration.

"What is it?" Vil turns to face you, usually during the breaks between the VDC groups training, you pass around water bottles and some snacks(not cursed by Vil this time). Though this time you carry nothing, it's expected, the rest of the group only have a break because two of the members ran off to who knows where.

"I think you're being too harsh on them. " Vil scoffs, "Excuse me? They're the ones being too careless, they're not serious enough. " Vil glares at you, nose scrunched. You betray his expectations, really, he expected you to be more mature about this.

You only look at him in the eyes as a response, he notices your tense frame, you must've been planning to tell him this for a while now.

"..Epel ran away." Vil lifts an eyebrow, "And? Are you just here to state the obvious?" He hears you click your tongue, you're irritated with him? Why must you be so mean to him, prefect, all he wants is to win, is that so much to ask for?

"Look, I understand your efforts, what you do to achieve your dreams is commendable, really, "

Dreams? How dare you use such a childish word, the Vil Schoenheit doesn't dream, he has no time for that.

"but you need to realize that not everyone can handle, well, you. We want to win, obviously but uh, you're already so accustomed to this type of stuff but we're not.."

Hm? Oh, prefect, you're flattering him, so you're saying that he's so glamorous to the point that the normal spudlings can't even begin to compare?... Vil's kidding obviously, but the compliment has made him more inclined to listen to you.

"Dear prefect, I may see your point.. Though you must realize that diamonds are created under pressure, and the headmage has been far too lenient." You sigh, brows furrowed, "Tell me about it.. Again, you're not wrong, there are limits. Even the seemingly strong gems can crack if they have internal flaws."

My, isn't this new.. Prefect, it's been quite the long time since someone dared to question him, in such an interesting way no less.. Most people either agree with no objections or slander his views vehemently (Rook and Epel, Vil's looking at you) Congratulations are in order for managing to intrigue Vil of all people.

You're confused on why Vil's smiling, so.. fondly at you, did you do something wrong?

"Prefect, if you don't mind, how do you feel about joining my nightly routine tomorrow, I think you have many interesting topics to share with me."

Someday my prince will come Someday I will find the one Though he's far away he'll find my love someday Someday when my dreams come true Oh, please make my dreams come true

"The winner of VDC is.. ROYAL SWORD ACADEMY, LED BY THE ONE AND ONLY NEIGE LEBLANCHE!"

The crowd cheers endlessly, Vil feels his heart grow heavy with that same, twisting, horrendously ugly feeling of envy. His feet feel like they're on fire and Vil has to pretend the camera flashes are irritating him in order to blink back the tears.

It's ok, it's fine, the loser has to fall and Vil feels like he's been plummeting since then, now, and perhaps forevermore.(please don't let it be so)

It's even worse when Neige pulls him into an encore, his hand pressing on one of the bruises on his arm, a scar gained from his overblot. But Vil's heart only winces when he thinks of you, he thinks of your scars, you must have so many, you've been through so much..

Vil is so, so sorry, he wants to cry and beg for your forgiveness, for Rook's, for Epel's, for everyone's forgiveness. What he did was so stupidly immature, how could he just betray his own expectations, everyone expected Vil Schoenheit to be level headed, mature, and beautiful. So why? Why must he be everything except that?

Everything after his overblot was a blur, really. He thought his career would go up on smoke, everything he worked for would've been gone. Vil stared at his phone, waiting for a ping from his manager, informing him that his overblot, his weakest moment, was leaked for the whole world to see. Vil sits at the vanity, normally he would be staring into his reflection, but now he can't even bear the thought of looking at the mirror.

Suddenly he was met with a knock on his door.

"I'm not expecting visitors, if it's not urgent then go find Rook, or the prefect."

"Vil, I am the prefect."

Vil immediately sits up right, brushing away the few strands of stray hair, before inviting you in. "Come on in."

You quickly slip inside his room, closing the door behind you with a click, Vil tilts his head, usually he would never do this, unbefitting of the mature image of Vil Schoenheit, but since it's you, he finds himself at ease without putting on his performative mask. "I see you want privacy, is it personal?"

"Yeah, I.. wanted to see how you're doing. " Vil doesn't hold back the bittersweet smile, "You really are kind, don't worry about me, you should've ran away when you saw me overblot, why didn't you?"

Why didn't you? You should've ran away the moment you saw blot dripping from his lips and eyes, yet you stayed, you stayed during his overblot and all the others. Vil wants to know, how is one person so caring yet sarcastic, so plain yet so interesting, so normal yet.. Vil feels like he's never met someone like you before.

"Why didn't I? What kind of question is that, the better question is how could I leave a friend during his weakest moments?"

See? Caring yet sarcastic, Vil giggles at your response, "You should know when to stop helping people, dear. One day you'll get irreversibly wounded and there's nothing I could do to help you at that point." Vil's tone is light, though he feels an aching sensation when he imagines a fatally wounded Yuu.

You sigh, taking a step closer to Vil, "I'm not that weak, so don't think of stuff like that." The housewarden of Pomefiore only gives a tired smile, plain yet so interesting, he thinks. You're a magicless being somehow willed with such tenacity that befits the values of the Beautiful Queen, Vil might be inclined to take a few lessons from you.

It takes a while before Vil notices you're staring at him, you look at him as if you were looking at a poor, caged animal. "..Is there something else you want to tell me?" You don't respond, you only continue to look at him, at his clothes, at his hair, then you stare at him in the eye.

Vil feels a lump form in his throat, you're looking at him in such a humane way, not the lovesick expressions usually adorned on his fans, not the scowls of jealousy from the haters. You look at him as if you see something beyond the masks he wears.

Unlike what most people think, Vil Schoenheit actually has two masks, one he adorns when the camera rolls, which from there he has many others to choose from. The second he wears to retain the strict and regal image of Pomefiore, the one who rules this dorm with an iron fist, where he is both hated and loved.(not that much different from his career)

But you, you're looking at none of the two, he never saw anyone else other than his own father and Rook wear this expression. Someone who sees beyond what is presented to them.

"You're tired." Vil finally hears you say something, "I'll go draw you a bath." Your words were authoritative and left no room for arguement, it reminds Vil of himself. As the actor watches you walk into his bathroom he feels a warm sensation course through him, it's been quite the long time since he was the one on the receiving end of these affections.

No, affections is too intimate a word, but Vil can't think of any other way to describe it.

You can't see his expression now, prefect, but do know that you made Vil Schoenheit of all people cover his face to hide his blush and smile. So normal yet Vil's never met anyone else like you.

Vil hears the sound of water flowing coming from the bathroom, he hopes you finish your task soon, Vil has never felt what yearning for another's presence was like until now.

Vil already has his hunter and poison apple, so tell him what you'll be? What role will you take on to complete the Beautiful Queen's camaraderie? Will you be his raven, dutiful, working from the shadows; or his mirror : showing him what you see, beyond what Vil presents himself to be.

Vil shall wait for your answer, prefect.

♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬

a/n : someday my prefect will come - vil schoenheit. first fanfic tbh, there were pacing issues but I don't think it's that bad for a first timer. reblogs are appreciated

[dammit-tazmuir]

I have crossed the face of the universe. I poison it to match my grief.

That's always been it for every Resurrection Beast including John. Nona is the only exception, and I highly suspect that's only as Nona. Alecto, after all, was a monster in a human suit from the moment he resurrected her, and then he went and made her worse. Nona is only able to be her purest self by making herself forget her grief.

But Alecto still loved, even before she was Nona. She still loved John even in the immediate aftermath before he'd raised anyone else, and she loved Anastasia enough to swear an oath and want to see her, and G1deon and Pyrrha may have feared her but they saw something in her they still liked.

Varun still loves, yearning not just for revenge but to help and support their sister, even when they don't understand her, even when it makes them confused and furious that she would love these creatures, even when she's nothing like she used to be.

John still loves, too. He's never as sentimental as you think, sure, but far more than that line gives him credit for, I'd think; Augustine thought the retribution was purely symbolic, but it really is about an unattainable revenge; he made himself God and he still can't change time. He's never stopped caring, and that's not limited to hatred.

He never has to show Harrow any kindness; the only person who would have begrudged him at all for saying "not worth it" is Ianthe and she would have held her tongue. The two-faced bullshit is appalling in itself but every risk he takes (a lot) is fully unnecessary. When he confirms what her parents did, he projects his own self-defense, absolutely, but in his mind he's showing solidarity and genuine care.

And from "Hi, not fucking dead, I'm dad" onward, he seems to have at least some genuine investment in Gideon as a person. Like he 100% has shady ulterior motives tied to her sharing the god-soul and stuff, I'm not denying that, and maybe latching onto the father-daughter bond is just the easiest way to pull her close. But with Ianthe's "he's so fragile right now" and what a mess it sounds like he's been and the fact that none of that necessitated inventing a whole new thing for Ianthe to be part of too, idk, it really feels like he's trying to fill a void. John does care, and wants to care, even if he ultimately cares about himself more. He wants to maintain plausible deniability enough to lie to himself that he's justified, but like, that's not a given. Not everyone cares about being able to do that. Wanting to pretend he's Not The Bad Guy is itself something.

And we know what John did to Varun and the others, but he didn't kill earth alone; he delivered the killing blow, and a massive one, but she was in agony slowly dying for a long time.

And there's no one we could turn to and ask what they did to get her to that point or make John this way. You can't even blame the governments and the trillionaires, not fully, because it didn't start with them. It's so big and so old. Earth is bigger and older but even she can only take so much.

Hey. Just thought of something.

In Nona the Ninth, when Nona’s pretending to be Harrow and needs to avoid Ianthe’s questions, she screams in the resurrection beast’s language. Specifically, she yells “Help!” And Varun starts dropping heralds, because Varun is trying to help.

Now, this implies that the resurrection beasts can feel things like empathy. Which means they’re not just monsters. Every single one of them is just as capable of loving and being loved as Nona, but because they were created in a terrifying storm of death, they reacted in fear, and were treated like monsters as a result. And that’s so fucking tragic!

These thinking, feeling beings, ghosts of murdered worlds, who could and can know love, but have only ever known hate and fear. I feel for them, I really do.

[shiyorin]

#When Primarchs send dick pic to you

#Konrad Curze x F!Reader (Reader is Imperial Agent)

#Reader is very sass

#NSFW, non-con, many things

Note: Actually I wrote this as a joke so don't expect too much from it ಡ⁠ ͜⁠ ⁠ʖ⁠ ⁠ಡ

The Night Haunter felt his skin too tight, his body thrumming with an unfamiliar energy that set his teeth on edge. He'd been feeling… off for days now, plagued by urges he didn't understand and couldn't seem to shake.

He growled, raking his fingers through his tangled hair. What was wrong with him? He felt hot, agitated, like his very blood was on fire. And his cock… Konrad glanced down with a mixture of confusion and frustration. It had been hard for hours, throbbing insistently no matter how he tried to ignore it.

This wasn't normal. None of this was normal. Konrad Curze didn't get horny. He didn't feel desire or lust or any of those base, animal urges. He was above such things.

But…

His skin was flushed and damp with sweat, every nerve ending hypersensitive. When he wrapped a hand around his cock, he had to bite back a groan at how good it felt.

"What is happening to me?" he muttered, staring down at himself in bewilderment.

His cock was rock hard, the shaft thick and veiny, the head swollen and flushed an angry red. Pre-cum beaded at the tip, making his palm slide slickly as he stroked himself. It felt good, too good. Pleasure coiled in his gut, making his breath come faster.

Konrad's mind raced, trying to make sense of what was happening. Was this some kind of sickness? A curse? Had one of his brothers done something to him?

No… no, this felt different. Natural, in a way that terrified him. Like his body knew exactly what it wanted, even if his mind rebelled against it.

As he stroked himself, chasing that maddening pleasure, an image flashed through Konrad's mind. You, who'd somehow wormed your way into that. Into his life, if he was being honest.

The thought of you made his cock twitch, a fresh surge of pre-cum slicking his fingers. Konrad growled, angry and confused and so fucking turned on he could barely think straight.

Why you? Why now? It didn't make any sense. And yet he couldn't get you out of his head. Couldn't stop imagining your hands on him instead of his own-

"Fuck!" Konrad snarled, his hips jerking as he stroked himself faster. He was close, so close, teetering on the edge of something he didn't understand but desperately needed.

In that moment of madness, an idea struck him. Before he could think better of it, Konrad grabbed his data-slate from the nearby table. With shaking hands, he activated the camera function and angled it down at himself.

The image that appeared on the screen made him pause. His cock looked even bigger than he'd realized, angry and swollen against the pale skin of his stomach. A bead of pre-cum glistened at the tip, threatening to spill over.

It was obscene. Vulgar. The kind of thing that would horrify most people.

But you weren't most people, were you?

Before his common sense could reassert itself, Konrad hit send. The message went out with a soft chime, carrying that damning image straight to your data-slate.

For a moment, everything was still. Then the full weight of what he'd just done crashed over Konrad like a tidal wave.

"No," he whispered, staring at the screen in horror. "No, no, no…"

His foresight, which had been strangely quiet until now, suddenly roared to life. Visions flashed through his mind, your shocked face as you opened the message, your disgust, your anger. He saw you blocking his vox channel, saw the ripple effects this moment of madness would have on his already strained relationship with you.

"No!" Konrad roared, hurling the data-slate across the room. It shattered against the wall, but it was too late. The damage was done.

Meanwhile, lightyears away, you were enjoying a rare moment of peace and quiet.

Of course, that's when your data-slate chimed with an incoming message.

You sighed, reaching for the device. If this was another emergency, you were going to lose it.

But the name that popped up on your screen made you pause. Konrad Curze? What the hell did he want?

Curiosity piqued, you opened the message. For a moment, your brain couldn't process what you were seeing. Then realization dawned, and your eyes went wide.

"What the actual fuck?!" You yelped, nearly dropping the data-slate in shock.

There, filling your screen, was a high-definition image of Konrad Curze's cock. And not just any picture, oh no. This was a full-on, close-up money shot, complete with glistening pre-cum and throbbing veins.

You stared at it in disbelief, your mind reeling. Of all the things you'd expected from the Night Haunter, a dick pic was pretty much dead last on the list.

"Is this a joke?" You muttered, zooming in despite yourself. "Did someone hack his vox channel?"

But no, as you studied the image (purely for investigative purposes, of course), you realized this was definitely Konrad. You recognized the scars on his lower abdomen, the pale skin that never saw sunlight.

This was real. Konrad Curze, terror of the night, had just sent you an unsolicited dick pic.

"Un-fucking-believable!" you groaned.

Part of you wanted to laugh. It was just so absurd, so completely out of character for Konrad. But a larger part was scared. You are scared even though you want to laugh.

"Nope." You said firmly, shaking your head to banish that thought. "Not going there. Not even a little bit."

You considered your options. You could ignore it, pretend you'd never seen it. But knowing Konrad, he'd probably show up in person to "follow up" if you didn't respond. And worse, he will flay you if you disrespect and ignore him.

You made a mental note to beef up security around the compound. And maybe comeback Terra, lord Malcador can protect you, just in cass. Because something told you this wouldn't be the last surprise Konrad had in store.

In the end, there was really only one option. With a decisive tap, you blocked Konrad's vox channel.

"Fucking Primarchs." you muttered, tossing the data-slate aside. "Can't live with them, can't shoot 'em out an airlock."

*****

The moonlight cast eerie shadows across your bedroom as you stirred from your slumber. Something had woken you, a presence that set your nerves on edge. Your eyes fluttered open, struggling to focus in the dim light.

A dark figure loomed near your bed, barely visible in the gloom. Your heart raced, your mind foggy with sleep and confusion. Who the fuck was that? An intruder? An assassin? You couldn't make out any details in the darkness.

Your hand inched towards the knife you kept by the bed, fingers curling around the cool metal. Better safe than sorry, you thought.

The floorboards creaked softly as the mysterious figure approached. You tensed, ready to swing, but then something unexpected happened. Instead of attacking, the intruder simply… climbed into bed with you.

What the actual fuck?

Before you could process this bizarre turn of events, strong arms wrapped around you, pulling you against a broad chest. A face nuzzled into the crook of your neck, hot breath fanning across your skin.

Your eyes flew wide, shock clearing the last cobwebs of sleep from your mind. This close, you could finally make out the intruder's features.

Oh shit. It was Konrad. Konrad fucking Curze.

And he was naked. Completely, utterly naked.

As if to confirm your realization, Konrad shifted his hips and, yep, that was definitely his cock sliding between your thighs. You bit back a startled yelp, your mind racing. What the hell was happening?

Normally he'd be all creepy whispers and thinly veiled threats, not… whatever the fuck this was. Cuddling? Was the Night Haunter actually cuddling you?

Before you could decide how to react, Konrad's hand snaked down between your bodies. You held your breath, wondering if this was about to take an even weirder turn, but his fingers bypassed you completely, wrapping around his own cock instead.

Oh. Oh no.

Konrad began stroking himself, his breath coming faster against your neck. His hips rocked, sliding his length back and forth between your thighs in time with his hand.

You lay frozen, caught between disbelief and a weird sort of fascination. This was so far outside the realm of normal Konrad behavior that you almost wondered if you were dreaming. But no, the heat of his body, the slight scratch of his teeth against your skin, the slick sounds of skin on skin… this was all too real.

It didn't last long. With a muffled groan, Konrad's body tensed. You felt his cock pulse, then warm wetness splattered across your thighs.

What. The. Fuck.

For a moment, everything was still. Konrad's ragged breathing was the only sound in the room. Then, to your utter bewilderment, he started moving again. His hand returned to his cock, which was already hardening once more.

Seriously? You thought, incredulous. What is he, sixteen?

As Konrad's hips began rocking again, sliding through the mess he'd just made, realization dawned. The weird behavior, the lack of threats or violence, the insane refractory period…

Oh no, you groaned internally. He is horny.

You'd known, biologically, that the other Primarchs would be horny. But somehow you hadn't connected that to Konrad. He always seemed so… disconnected from his more base urges. Apparently even the Night Haunter wasn't immune to biology.

Now you had a dilemma on your hands. On one hand, this was Konrad fucking Curze. The guy was seven kinds of crazy on a good day, and letting him get his rocks off while you pretended to sleep was probably a terrible idea. On the other hand… well, he wasn't actually hurting you. And if you revealed that you were awake, who knew how he'd react?

Better to let him finish and leave, you decided. Then you could bleach your brain and pretend this never happened.

But Konrad showed no signs of stopping anytime soon. His movements grew more frantic, his breathing harsh against your skin. You could feel the tremors running through his body, the desperation in every thrust.

Fuck, you realized. He's completely lost in it. He probably doesn't even know where he is right now.

Konrad came again with a choked sound, his whole body shuddering. You grimaced at the fresh wave of wetness coating your thighs. Great. You were going to need like, three showers after this. Maybe four.

To your dismay, Konrad showed no signs of leaving after his second orgasm. If anything, he seemed to curl around you more tightly, his face buried in your hair.

Oh hell no, you thought. I am not spending the whole night as a body pillow for a horny Primarch.

Decision made, you took a deep breath and spoke.

"You know, if you wanted to cuddle, you could have just asked."

Konrad went rigid against you, his whole body tensing like a coiled spring. For a moment, you wondered if you'd made a terrible mistake. Then, to your utter shock, Konrad let out a sound that could only be described as a squeak.

Before you could process that, he was gone. You blinked at the sudden loss of warmth against your back. You rolled over, half-expecting to see Konrad looming over your bed, but the room was empty. The only sign he'd been there at all was the open window, curtains billowing in the night breeze.

"Did… did he just jump out the fucking window?" You muttered, staring in disbelief.

You pushed yourself up, grimacing at the sticky mess coating your thighs. A quick glance confirmed your suspicions, yep, those sheets were definitely ruined.

You made a mental note to ask Malcador about it when you return Terra. And maybe to invest in some better locks for your windows.

[lurkingshan]

Theory of Love Episode 5: 10 Things I Hate About You

We have hit a stretch of actually good movies, and I'm so grateful. This week we got to revisit one of my old favorites, a gem of the modern Shakespeare adaption pantheon: 10 Things I Hate About You. Here's the plot, in brief:

Cameron transfers to a new high school and instantly falls for Bianca, a girl whose father notoriously won't let her date and has just set a new rule: she can only start dating when her older sister Kat does. Kat is known as "difficult" and anti-social, so Cameron and his buddy cook up a scheme to recruit resident "bad boy" Patrick to date her, using the asshole popular guy Joey as a stooge to pay him. Patrick falls for Kat for real in the course of this scheme, Kat eventually finds out he lied to her, and things blow up before we cut to the happy resolution.

It was fun to revisit this movie, which has a really solid narrative underpinning its many hilarious lines (shoutout to the Bard). It holds up pretty well, minus some trappings of the era that led to the inevitable casual ableism and homophobia, and it was a real pleasure to see Heath Ledger on my screen again. The main problem with this film is that the resolution comes too easily: after only one minor argument when Kat uncovers the Big Lie, she has a breakdown and forgives Patrick for tricking her without making him suffer at all, and the other dudes who were involved in deceiving her don't even acknowledge their part in it, let alone atone. Unsatisfying!

Re-watching Theory of Love, I wonder if the creators felt the same way about the lack of real atonement and growth on Patrick's part, because boy are they going to make damn sure Khai pays for every mistake he makes in this first half of the story. That begins this week with Third distancing himself from Khai in the wake of learning about the scheme Khai and Bone ran on him to test his feelings. But of course, Khai doesn't know Third overheard him and Third won't tell him why he's mad, so the two of them circle each other in this episode getting increasingly frustrated as they fail to communicate and Third tries and fails to go back to treating Khai like a friend.

Because Third is still very hurt and angry, and he can't suppress it or stop himself from lashing out at Khai. He starts off this episode with a very literal task taken from the title of this week's film by making a list of Khai's flaws to try to talk himself out of liking him (he seems to have missed that Kat's poem is not actually about Patrick's flaws, but the opposite--one thing I've learned from this project is that Third is pretty bad at media analysis). Third continues to hold Khai to a totally different standard than everyone else--notice he excuses Bone's own involvement in the scheme that hurt him while holding a firm grudge against Khai and refusing to tell him what he's upset about--so Third overreacts to Khai bringing a date around and acts like a bitch, and Khai doesn't understand why Third is acting this way so he's an even bigger bitch in return. Their fighting in this episode is painful to watch. No one can cut you quite like the person who knows you best.

Khai can't possibly give Third what he wants until Third tells him, but Third is unwilling to talk to him about it. Not that I can really blame Third for that, because Khai is not ready to receive a love confession from his best friend. The whole reason they got into this latest mess is because Khai was determined to prove Third doesn't like him that way. He wants to keep him as his best friend, and the idea that Third might want something different is not welcome. We saw Khai's hurt in this episode when Third suddenly started treating him differently without explaining, we saw him get upset when Third blew up at him for "whoring around" and return his nasty energy, and we saw him regret and go to Third to apologize the next day, because he cares about this friendship. I thought it was interesting that in their fight this episode Khai told Third he's not his "wife." Part of Khai knows exactly what's going on here, and he is not yet ready to admit it to himself. Third doesn't want to be his friend, and that's the heart of the issue.

[tiddiesoutwhenthetisout]

i agree. i get comparing them (with humor) in a sense of "ooh they gay they died", but they have zero similarities :'') even the stories of their tragedies are very different. i think people may be misinterpreting it, without much regard to the plot, as

a) starry-eyed big dreams guy (jayce/achilles) and his

b) less sociable sidekick (viktor/patroclus)

or plain "himbo (j/a) and tired college student (v/p)" trope which is even more lost in translation. idk, that seems like where it'd go. there's a route to oversimplifying things that some people tend to go down when they idealize their ship because it fits the criteria to some of their favorite tropes. appearance also plays a big role in these things unfortunately, but that's an entirely different rabbit hole.

e.g., yes, neither jayce nor achilles is a himbo, but because of faulty connections, they are being classified under such. neither viktor nor patroclus is depicted as "the grumpy/chronically tired one", but because they show traits (perceived or otherwise) similar to a trope's dynamic, they are given that label, thus, compared and concluded similar.

perhaps the impression that patroclus "is a twink" from readers of the song of achilles, has aided them in likening him to viktor, who does not have the masculine body type of jayce. again, there is the oversimplification phenomena of, "they must be similar in size/build" because the patroclus from the aforementioned book refuses to fight, when in fact it was implied he was built like any other greek soldier. thus, people must imagine him as being like viktor, who has a noticeable hunch, pallor, and spindly limbs that could also have been a product of the latter's disability.

it's like they don't care much about the story-- their focal point is the shipping, which blurs out the bigger picture, and then the oversimplification i keep mentioning, happens.

> two dudes of the same field, involved in something that is more than friendship > one is [this way] and the other is [that way] which mirrors my impression of the other set of characters > i keep thinking about it, and the more i make connections that make more oversimplifications > until eventually it is all beliefs with little facts, that i've done mental gymnastics unconsciously to justify (note that there is not an ounce of condescension nor judgement despite the wording-- i'm just making statements in their simplest form)

although for the comment about patroclus' death being 100% avoidable, that's debatable imo because as far as i understand mythology, some things are just set in stone for the Other Thing to happen, and that there is a significant blur where a man's will ends and a god's will starts. also it's not that easy to disregard achilles' outburst as merely that. he was basically denied his reason living (glory acquired through the brutalities of war). i haven't gotten to that part of the iliad yet, but i hear he did intend to sail home very soon by that point and live his years but shit started to hit the fan. enlighten me on this, thank you.

anyways, again, this is my interpretation and i'd love to hear about why various sides are saying what they say 👌✨ i just don't believe in the absence of a thought process in even the most lacking conclusions. it exists but it's wired weirdly lol

sorry i am lacking sleep my eyes hurt my head hurts and the situation is not bonita so i may have rambled (i'm looking for something to occupy me so yes rn i have too much free time and too little chance of falling asleep)

This is a big Pet peeve of mine but I'll confess right here and now that I am a nerd

And I hate when people compare Viktor and Jayce to Achilles and Patroclus

I've been obsessed with the Iliad since 2019, and I've read a lot, and I mean A LOT of essays and books about the Iliad and about Achilles and Patroclus more specifically

So I guess you could say I kind of understand Achilles and Patroclus a bit

And my question is, what does Achilles and Patroclus have in common with Viktor and Jayce other than they're men and gay? Like no seriously, what?

Because, the core of Achilles and Patroclus' story; the most important part it's that they're soldiers, I can't even tell you guys how fundamentally important is that these guys are soldiers

And a big part of Jayce and Viktor's story is that they AREN'T soldiers, they're scientists! And literally a big part of Arcane would've been very different if both of them had stayed scientists instead of becoming a politician and Jesus

"they're both tragic!" Bish

Achilles and Patroclus' story is tragic, because Achilles chose his pride over Patroclus

Like Patroclus' death? 100% avoidable, wouldn't have happened if Achilles had stopped being a baby for once in his life and actually listened to Patroclus and went back to fight

Viktor and Jayce's story? Literally about Jayce choosing Viktor over everything else, About Jayce choosing Viktor over Mel, his mom, Cait, Piltover, magic, etc etc

At the end of the Iliad Achilles' hubris is punished by the story taking away the love of his life

At the end of arcane, Viktor is forgiven, Jayce and him get to be together, doesn't matter if it's in an alternate dimension or super gay heaven, but it's a hopeful ending

So the complete opposite of the Iliad

Listen, I love both Patrochilles and JayVik, but these two have almost nothing in common

And I would get into why their personalities aren't similar either but like, it's 2 am and I have to go to work tomorrow so, lmao

[yumeaoka-chan]

When my uncle told me this morning that he didn't like Kendrick's performance, I knew straight away that he didn't understand it. Kendrick was sending a message that went over soooo many people's heads. The events of the show I'm going to state that happened aren't entirely in order but if you look back on the performance, you'll see what I mean.

Think. It stars off with Samuel L. acting as Uncle Sam, a character symbolizing America as a whole. He starts off saying, "Welcome to the great American game." We see that the entire stage looks like a game controller, meaning Kendrick was playing a game and Uncle Sam was there to see if he was playing it correctly, the "American" way. When Kendrick raps at the start, we see people exiting the car and they're all separated (just like the people of America). They eventually come together to form the flag because WE, the people, are America. Kendrick also says, "The revolution is about to be televised, you got the right time but the wrong guy."

Uncle Sam says something along the lines of "Oh, so you decided to bring your friends with you. Culture cheat code. Score Keeper! Deduct one life." There's a shot of all the dancers falling to the floor, acting as though they're dead, yet a few people are still up. Almost like they're part of an "inner circle." Uncle Sam also makes a statement about how America doesn't wanna see this loud rapping, "it's too loud", "too reckless" and " too ghetto." When he starts singing and Sza joins him, Uncle Sam goes, "That's what America wants to see. Nice and calm. Don't mess this up". Except, Kendrick does mess it up by going back to rapping loud and fast. "40 acres and a mule", Those are the things that were promised to us black people as reparations for slavery, "- this is bigger than the music" The message he'strying to send to yall is what really matters. But nobody is trying to hear him! "Yeah, they tried to rig the game, but you can't fake influence."

And with ending the performance with "tv off" the camera turns to a lit background in the crowd saying GAME OVER. The game is over, he didn't play it like Uncle Sam/America wanted him to. This was bigger than some beef with Drake.

[gloomwitchwrites]

Hey 😊👋 I love your Task Force 141 Imagines and finally had the courage to request one myself:

How would they react to the trend where their partner makes dinner but gives them the bigger portion and gives themselves only a small one with the excuse that "That's all we had left" ?

(I hope you understand what I mean)

I'm about 99.9% sure you're talking about the viral TikTok trend. That's what I interpreted the ask as (which is how I wrote it). Most of the time, those videos are pretty wholesome. Sometimes they aren't. But with regards to 141, they're gonna be wholesome about it. No body shaming. Not dismissive. Just walking green flags who are also done with your shit (because pranking them is just hilarious). Anyway! Enjoy!!!

For the masterlist and how to submit your own request, click HERE

Task Force 141 x Reader (can be read as gn!reader)

Content & Warnings (per the warnings MDNI): established relationship, pranks & practical jokes, humor, fluff, married couple, mild suggestive themes

Word Count: 1k

ao3 // main masterlist // imagines & what if masterlist

John Price

"Love, what is that?"

"That's all we had left."

"That's all we had left?" repeats John.

You shrug nonchalantly. There's plenty of food, enough for each of you and leftovers for tomorrow, but John doesn't need to know that...yet.

"It's fine,” you shrug. “I'm not that hungry so I gave you a bigger portion."

John's concern only worsens. "You did what?"

"I wasn’t hungry so I—"

“I heard what you said,” interrupts John. He points at your plate. “But there’s nothing on it.”

“I’ll be fine.”

"No," he says firmly, waving his hand. "No."

Without asking, he swaps your plates.

"John. Stop."

"I'm not that hungry," he says, repeating your own words back at you. "Ate more than enough at work. I don't need all this. You do."

You reach for the plate but he lifts it off the table, holding it out of reach. Part of you wants to scold him to carry on the rouse, but instead you're giggling.

"Not sure what's funny,” grumbles John.

"There's more,” you laugh, covering your mouth.

"There's—” John glances between you and the kitchen. John rolls his eyes but he's trying to hold back a smile. “You naughty fucking thing."

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

You place a plate piled high with food in front of Kyle.

“Thanks, babe.” He glances up at you, grinning. His gaze shifts to your plate, smile fading into confusion. You purposely gave yourself less just to see his reaction.

“I forgot forks.” You walk back into the kitchen. “You want a fork, right?”

“Yeah,” replies Kyle slowly, now pointing at your plate. “But…what is that?”

You return to the table. “That’s all we had left.”

Lies. There’s plenty left.

“But why is mine full and yours—” He gestures at your plate.

You feign confusion. “You work really hard. You need it.”

“This,” says Kyle pointing at his own plate. “Is a lot.” He then points at your plate. “That’s not.”

“It’s fine.”

“You’re taking some of mine.”

“Kyle—”

“Don’t argue with me.”

You pick up your fork, intending to eat, but Kyle is quick, snatching your plate right off the table and swapping it with his. He keeps your plate in his hand, shoving you away when you try to reach for it.

“Sit,” he commands.

“Kyle.”

He ignores you, clearing the plate in a couple of bites.

“Kyle,” you scold, but you’re giggling, dropping the guise.

“Why are you laughing?” he asks, glancing around.

Unable to keep control of your composure, you point in the direction of the kitchen. Frowning, Kyle follows your index finger. He takes a few steps into the kitchen and comes to a dead stop.

He slowly spins on his heel, his expression so exasperated that you burst out laughing. With a loud sigh, Kyle returns to the table, swapping the empty plate for the full one.

Dropping into his seat, Kyle shakes his head. “Get yourself a real portion and then come join me.” Then, with a smirk, “You little terror.”

John "Soap" MacTavish

Johnny reclines on the sofa, completely absorbed in the rugby match on the television.

With you, is dinner. Two plates, one for each of you. You’ve loaded Johnny’s plate, but have hardly filled yours. It’s just a prank. A test to see if he notices anything.

He has a knack for not paying attention to the smaller details. Sometimes Johnny is so distracted whenever there is a game on that he's oblivious to everything else around him. One time—just to see—you walked around completely naked. It took nearly a full fifteen minutes for him to realize it.

You casually take a seat next to him, offering Johnny his plate.

"Thank you," he says, taking it without removing his gaze from the television.

You keep your plate in your lap, casually moving the few bites of food around while taking incredibly small bites.

Johnny chews. Watches. Still oblivious to your tiny portion.

You purposefully bang your fork against the side of the plate.

He does a double take. "What’s that?"

"What’s what?"

"That.”

You shrug. "It’s all we had left."

With a growl that’s more groan, Johnny starts pushing his food off his plate and onto yours.

"Johnny. No. That's your food." He tuts, not saying anything. "I'm fine." you insist, trying to push his plate away.

“No, love,” says Johnny. He settles back onto the sofa and gives your cheek a quick peck.

You wait a beat. "There's plenty of food."

Johnny turns. Blinks. "Oh, aye?" He grabs your plate and dumps the food back on his.

"Johnny!"

"You’re having a right laugh.” He gestures toward the kitchen. “Go on.”

As you stand, he gives your ass a light smack. When you turn to swat his hand, you’re greeted with his cheeky grin.

Simon "Ghost" Riley

The plate you set before Simon is nearly overflowing.

"Thank you, love," he murmurs, placing his hand at your back.

You lean in, giving him a quick kiss. He accepts it with a soft smile, lightly squeezing your thigh before you step away to grab your own plate.

Compared to Simon’s portion, your plate is practically empty. It’s really only a few bites, but it’s just for kicks. There is plenty still left in the kitchen. You just want to fuck with Simon.

When you set your plate down and fall into your seat, Simon’s attention immediately focuses in on the lack of sustenance.

He leans forward a bit, staring you down, silent.

“What?” you ask, pretending that this is all perfectly normal.

He keeps staring.

“What is it?” you prompt.

“No.”

No. Just—no.

You blink. "No? No what?”

Simon sucks his fork clean and tosses it onto the table, still shaking his head. You’re losing. It’s hardly started and you’ve lost.

“It’s all that’s left!”

He shakes his finger at you, walking away and into the kitchen. “I know you,” he says over his shoulder. “You’re taking the piss.”

Goddamn it.

Simon sees right through you. Always does.

taglist:

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@ferns-fics @tulipsun-flower @miss-mistinguett @ninman82 @eternallyvenus

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@sammysinger04 @kylies-love-letter @dakotakazansky @suhmie @kadeeesworld

@keiva1000 @jackrabbitem @arrozyfrijoles23 @lovely-ateez @waves-against-a-cliff

@ash-tarte @marispunk @gingergirl06 @certainlygay @greeniegreengreen

[five-rivers]

Little thing inspired by various Justice League summons Danny posts I've seen about.

.

Interdimensional travel was hard.

It was a true statement, and one that, in retrospect, was obvious. Of course interdimensional travel was hard. It was reaching out of your reality and into one that had an entirely different set of rules. However, having an interdimensional portal in one's basement tended to skew one's understanding of these things. That was why it took Danny so long to realize that the Observants were actually worried about him.

"Wait," he said, looking up from the (admittedly very passive-aggressive) report the crowd of Observants had just dropped on his (already crowded) desk. "You want to change my summoning ritual because you think other dimensions might hurt my human half?"

"Some of them certainly will," said one of the Observants, testily.

"I didn't know you cared about that," said Danny, still somewhat stunned.

"We normally wouldn't," admitted the Observant, "but although the position of Ghost King is, politically, a figurehead, you are metaphysically vital to the Realms as a whole. Damage to you is to be avoided, when possible."

"Uh huh," said Danny, looking back down at the summoning ritual change paperwork. Although, through a combination of Danny's own nature and the nature of time across dimensional barriers, Danny still looked fourteen and spent a great deal of his time going to school in Amity Park, he had years of experience interpreting the Observants' paperwork under his belt. "Yeah, it's just that I don't think this is the best way to, like. Do that."

"It is the best way to protect you!" said the Observant who had, apparently, been selected as the group's spokesperson.

"Maybe," agreed Danny, who wasn't entirely sure that was true. "But I feel like some of these modifications would kind of be a problem for wherever I wound up."

"Then they ought not to summon you."

While Danny agreed with that sentiment in spirit (getting summoned was almost always inconvenient and annoying), in practice, he wasn't so sure. "I don't think there's any way to communicate that to the guys who are summoning me. Like, some of them get me with old Pariah Dark rituals. And most of them don't really care if their mistakes screw over other people, so..."

"Next to the well-being of the Realms, that is a minor concern."

Danny didn't disagree with that, but he wasn't about to waste time arguing with the Observants about it. They just didn't get it. He tapped his finger on another section that was bothering him. "Also, this seems to keep me from getting out of the summoning circle at all. If someone is summoning me to ask for help, that's going to keep me from doing much."

"It will also keep you from inadvertently exiting into a hostile environment."

"Even in my home universe?" asked Danny, pointedly. "This seems like something more geared to imprisonment than protection."

The Observants were silent.

"Oh, come on, guys, really? Again?"

The Observants scattered.

Danny sighed and picked up the paperwork. He didn't think it was all bad ideas, honestly, but he needed a second opinion that hadn't tried to stuff him in the Sarcophagus of Forever Sleep Mark 2.

Maybe Clockwork would look it over for him.

.

"It isn't an entirely terrible concept," said Clockwork, "except for the obvious drawbacks."

"The whole being trapped in the summoning circle bit," said Danny.

Clockwork nodded. "To be fairer than they deserve, there is no way to modify that portion of a summoning ritual in some types of universes but not others. Not from our own side of things, in any case."

"And I mostly can't get at the other side," said Danny with a groan. He perched on the back of Clockwork's chair. "I do want to make sure that I, I don't know, fit with other universes enough that I won't completely demolish them just by existing."

Clockwork hummed. "There are some ways to do that. There are drawbacks, however."

"Bigger drawbacks than accidentally nuking a planet because my radiation is different than theirs?"

"It depends on your perspective, I suppose."

Danny sighed. "Go ahead and tell me, then."

Clockwork picked up a pen. "You are a shapeshifter. You have multiple forms, one of which cannot be harmed through any normal means and which similarly would have little negative affect on the environment unless you acted to cause negative effects. Change the current ritual so that a summoning puts you in that form, and then further change it so that you cannot leave the circle unless you are in a form that will not automatically cause harm or be harmed by the laws of that universe."

"You mean my Ghost King form."

"All your forms are your Ghost King form."

"You know what I mean."

"I do," said Clockwork, smiling.

"It freaks people out, though."

"Your current form might, as you say, freak people out," said Clockwork. "If your summoners were, say, ants."

"Is that likely?"

"Not particularly. But consider the multiverse. Not all of your summoners will be human."

Danny crossed his arms, frustrated that there wasn't an easy solution. "I guess I could always shapeshift into something nonthreatening after. Hard to see if it's something safe without running into

"You can do more than that."

"I can?"

"Yes," said Clockwork, setting the pen to paper. "Let me show you."

.

The summoning circle shimmered and shivered as Constantine and Zatanna recited the chant, their voices rising and falling. Batman and other members of the League stood by, watching, waiting.

This, this ritual, wasn't their first choice. It wasn't their second, third, or fourth choice, either. But nothing else they had tried worked, and the entire world was at stake.

They were summoning the King of All Ghosts. An eldritch monstrosity that had once tried to conquer all realities. But the alternative was worse. Much worst. At least, with the King of All Ghosts, there was a chance that they could negotiate and that it'd want the Earth more or less intact for the sake of conquering it. At least, with this kind of summoning, they could offer a sacrifice, a bargain, a deal.

And if Constantine was good at anything, it was deals.

The lines of the summoning circle flared green, then pure white, and, without any other fanfare, the King of All Ghosts was there.

It filled the circle with starry darkness, struck with nebulae and aurorae. The clouds rippled as a star died near its heart, fiery cataclysms spreading throughout the being. A crown like the accretion disk of a black hole burned around its highest extremity.

Something like a voice, echoing and many-layered, emanated from the being. "Nghftùsh phlarûm âzgûm (1)." It paused, and the League felt it examine the area more closely. "Ko wgâ âzgûm nghftùsh derza. Ko gok hubhûfh fhtù gâh mglwnuh...(2)"

Constantine swore. "Oh, bollocks, I don't know that one. Would it be too much to ask that one of these things speak English? Just a little?"

"Nghftùsh ak. Ko ngngi. (3)"

"Zatanna," said Batman, "could a spell let us understand one another?"

"Kù-nghînku bùr fùmúu umni snîgûrip. (4)" It seemed to bend closer for all that it didn't move. "Nghftùsh laglúfhâk krîk ko phlî ak phlorza. Chthe nî hîhnâ, ka. (5)"

"I think I understand a little," said Captain Marvel, raising a hand. "I think it understands us just fine."

"Hagthu. Nghftùsh ngngi ùk nî chthe kûmpù nû gâ. (6)"

"It wants to get out of the circle," said Captain Marvel.

The veils of green light that shrouded the being rippled. "Dal phlù. (7)"

"Not without an agreement in place, you're not," said Constantine.

"Gagthashîzgathg. (8)"

"God," whispered Flash, "that hurts my throat just hearing it."

Batman shot him a glare, then stepped forward. They'd prepared a list of demands. Most of them were negotiable, but it was better to start something like this with things you were willing to remove or throw away. It took several minutes for Batman to read the whole thing.

"Ku. Chthal lohúfhâk hagthu. Fhta nghftùsh kâk phlorza ko thru. (9)"

"What did it say?" asked Batman.

"I'm... I think it said it'll do it, but it needs something from us in return."

Batman nodded. They'd expected something like this. Whatever it asked for, it would, without a doubt, be exorbitant. Then, they'd go back and forth, reducing each of their demands until they'd reached a deal both sides hated, but could accept. Constantine had bet that, at minimum, the King of All Ghosts would want the entire population of Earth as slaves.

"Nghftùsh kâk hû ko mglwno nî phnglâ gho-lobi. (10)"

"Uh," said Captain Marvel. "I think he said one of our lives."

"Hik! Rlo phlarâk kruk nîk ghû. (11)"

"Not just any of us," said Marvel. "It has to be someone who's a parent."

A tension fell over the room. They'd known they'd have to sacrifice something. A single life wasn't much, but for the King of All Ghosts to specify a parent...

"But are you sure it's just one?" pressed Constantine.

The King of All Ghosts gave off a sense of... exasperation? "Úzg, hû. (12)"

"One," said Captain Marvel. "Just one."

"And just us, not our kids or anything?"

"Nghftùsh ngngi ùk e nghuu. Gù phlarâk fush ko du? (13)"

"No, it doesn't want children. They're... wrong, somehow?"

"And it's not a sex thing?" Constantine sounded... strangely hopeful.

"Hik! Fhtùl! (14)"

"No," said Captain Marvel. "And... something about fat, maybe?"

"Oh, we're definitely getting eaten, then," said Constantine, with forced cheer. "I volunteer, then. It's not like my kids are sitting up waiting for me or anything."

"Hik nuk. Ngngi ko. E hâta phlarâk lerzaolûm. (15)"

"Not you, there's... something wrong with your soul."

"Oh, he's a picky eater, too, huh?"

"Let's not antagonize him, okay?" said Flash. "He's kind of-- He's kind of looming, right now."

And so it was. Somehow. Without moving.

"Who will... satisfy you?" asked Batman.

The entity did not move, but it managed to indicate Batman anyway.

"Very well," said Batman, before anyone could even attempt to talk him out of it. After all, his life for the lives of everyone in this universe was a very good deal. "Take me."

For the first time, the King of All Ghosts moved, all that darkness, all that light, rushing towards Batman.

There was a burst of blinding light.

When everyone opened their eyes again, a boy with black hair, blue eyes, and a jawline that bore more than a passing resemblance to Batman's was stepping out of the summoning circle.

"That's much better," he said, stretching. "No offense, dude, but you kind of suck at Ghost Speak." He turned to Batman. "What I was asking for was a template so I could exist in your universe and do what you want without accidentally blowing it up because of incompatible physics, but whatever. Not sure how you guys got me eating you out of that."

"You wanted a human appearance so you could better conquer this world?" asked Batman.

"Uh, no? You've got a pretty strong clause against conquering the world in your paperwork there. You're probably thinking about Pariah Dark, but he's old news." The boy smiled widely. "Let's get started on your problem, okay?"

I've been summoned.

You haven't summoned me before. You have a nice space station here...

I can. You can't.

Inter-dimensional language differences are so annoying.

I hope you can do something. This will be difficult, otherwise.

Good. I don't want to be in this circle forever.

Close enough.

Figures (literally, 'certainly').

Okay. That sounds good. But I need something from you.

I need one of you to be my template (literally, life-pattern).

No! It's like being a parent.

Yes, one.

I don't want your children. What is wrong with you?

No! Gross!

No way. Not you. You're crazy (literally, your soul is cracked).

[leviathanxprincess]

Introducing Homicipher Characters to Your Plushies - Pt. 1

The Homicipher Characters come to you in hopes for whatever insanity they plan to drag you into, you instead have a different plan! Showing them your plushies!

Based off my series for the whb devils ! Consider this is scenario where you brought them back to your world with you and they understand your language fully now and vice versa !

Notes: Some very light suggestive content. Gender neutral reader ! This round of characters includes: Mr. Crawling, Mr. Scarletella, Mr. Chopped. Mr. Silvair, Mr. Gap, Mr. Hood, & Mr. Machete !

Mr. Crawling

Honestly you could do anything and it would just make him love you more.

But especially in this case!

He will sit and listen intently to every last thing you have to say about your plushies!

And he's memorized all of their names for you!! He knows which ones are your favorites and which ones you find the most comforting when you're upset.

He thinks you're so cute when you talk about them too!

He gives you and your plushies pets as you talk about them!!

Squishes your cheeks, you're the most adorable person to him and he's glad you shared with him such an important part of your life.

Will go out and find even more plushies for you. He would do anything for you after all!

Mr. Scarletella

If I'm being honest you could honestly talk about anything and he would just listen.

It wouldn't matter the topic. You wanna talk about your plushies? Then yeah of course he's gonna listen and eat up every detail.

He loves seeing your smile, and admittedly he does get a bit of cuteness aggression from it so prepare yourself for that lol.

However.... He does get kind of jealous of them too.

What do you mean he's not the only being you've given names to? Not to mention the amount of attention and affection you give to them.

Yes, these aren't living creatures and he knows this but he can't help himself!

He gets irritated about it, if you notice his jealousy right away and stop and give him attention then he'll get over it quick.

If it takes you longer to notice however. Things might end up requiring a much more bigger solution than just a few kisses and cuddles.

Mr. Chopped

They're very cute!! He likes your plushies and how excited and cute you get when you talk about them!!

But... They're not as cute as him, right?

Expect to be showing him an equal amount of attention as you are your plushies as your introducing him to them.

He just gets so grumpy and jealous way too easily.

He very much requires you to gush about him just as much as you gush about these inanimate objects.

And as long as you do so he is pleased and content and can live in harmony with your plushies.

He takes note of the names and while he might not remember every last detail, he does like talking to you about them!!

He knows it's an easy way to make you happy and he very much likes making you happy!!

However you'll never know that sometimes when you're not looking, he's glaring at them.

Mr. Silvair

While I don't think he really cares that much about the plushies, he is interested in humans. And you.

So he'll listen. It gives him a bit of insight to how not human minds work, but specifically yours.

This odd cute stuffed creatures bring you immense joy, he's not sure why, but he knows it does and he would like to know why.

Honestly it doesn't really matter what you do, everything to him provides him with more research.

That being said, it's not like it ends up being solely about his research.

He does end up finding himself being oddly endeared by your behavior and how happy you when talking about your plushies.

He's taking to placing them on your whenever you're upset or need comfort. Especially since he knows it works.

He can soft and sweet sometimes. At least when it comes to his favorite human, of course.

Mr. Gap

The idea came to you when you saw him peeking out of a dark gap that was in your plushie pile!

He came to ask one of his typical questions, but you didn't let him get a word in!

You immediately just picked up one of your plushies and started talking about them!

He doesn't really quite find anything interesting about the plushies, but he is interested in you so!

He will listen to what you have to say. And he does know some of your plushies by name after you tell him about them.

Will occasionally show up with plushies he's found that he thinks you will like.

Of course you need to give him your heart to have them though!

You won't?

Well... he guesses he can settle for a kiss or something instead....

Mr. Hood

He doesn't quite fully understand your deep attachment to these objects, but he'll support your love for them fully.

We already know he's a good teacher, but he's also one of the best listeners as well.

He will sit for however long it takes for you to share with him all of your plushies and their names and even lore if you have that for them as well.

He does find it rather endearing, even if he's not quite sure why he enjoys you talking about something for so long.

Will pat your head occasionally, if only he had a head that you could see because if he did he would have the softest smile on it as he watches you talk.

Truly experiencing you share this with him just puts an even deeper desire in him to protect you from any and all harm.

He will make sure and be guaranteed to protect that bright, beaming smile on your face that you have in this moment. At any cost.

Mr. Machete

He does not give a shit.

Or at least that's what he says.

And well, to be fair, he is annoyed by your focus on these cute nonthreatening soft things instead of just sparing with him or something.

Don't ask him if he's jealous of your plushies, he'll deny it to ends of the earth.

Ignore that he's been acting grumpy since.

Just give him a little extra attention and he'll be fine.

Also seems like the kind to get cuteness aggression. But his cuteness aggression just leads to him wanting to fight you. And bite you. Maybe some scratching too. Basically he's not gonna be nice about it and just give you squeezing hugs or something lol

[joycrispy]

One thing I love about Crowley --never stated, but consistently shown-- is that he is, at heart, an engineer.

I have a few different things to say about that. Let's unpack them.

As the Unnamed Angel, we see his designs for the Pillars of Creation are millions of pages long, comprised of cramped text, footnotes, diagrams, schematics, etc. It's very...Renaissance polymath, in the way it implies a particular intersection of artist and inventor.

Also: in the naked romanticism with which he views his stars.

We already knew he made stars, but in s2 we learn that he did NOT sculpt each of them by hand. He designed a nebula ("a star factory," he says) that will form several thousand young stars and proto-planets, and all --aside from getting the 'factory' running-- without him lifting a finger. We also learn that these young stars and proto-planets stand in contrast to those made by other angels, which are going to come 'pre-aged.'

...I'm reminded of Hastur and Ligur's approach to temptations. Damning one human soul at a time, devoting singular attention to it over the course of years or decades, and how that stands in contrast to Crowley's reliance on, quote, 'knock-on effects.'

Ligur: It's not exactly...craftsmanship. Crowley: Head office don't seem to mind. They love me down there.

Hm.

I'm also reminded of the M25.

The M25 may not be as grand as a nebula (sentences you only say in GOmens fandom...), but LIKE his nebula it's an intricate, self-sustaining engine that does Crowley's work for him, many times over. Again.

That's some pretty neat characterization --and so is the indication towards Crowley's disinterest in victimizing anyone tempting individual people. It takes a considerable amount of planning and effort (and creeping about in wellies), but in accordance with his design the M25 generates a constant stream of low-grade evil on a gigantic scale.

Cumulatively gigantic, that is. Individually? Negligible.

But no other demon understands human nature well enough to parse that one million ticked-off motorists are not, in any meaningful way, actually equivalent to one dictator, or one mass-murderer, or even one little influential regressive. That's the trick of it. Crowley gets Hell's approval (which he NEEDS to survive, and to maintain the degree of freedom he's eked out for himself), and at the same time ensures that any actual ~Evil Influence~ is spread nice and thin.

It's some clever machinery. And he knows it, too:

The Unnamed Angel and Crowley are both proud of their ideas.

(musings on professional pride, Leonardo da Vinci, the crank handle, and 'the point to which Crowley loves Aziraphale' under the cut)

In the 1970's Crowley gives a presentation on the M25, projector and all, to a room full of increasingly impatient demons. Maybe the presentation was work-ordered; the 'can I hear a WAHOO?' definitely wasn't.

Before the Beginning, the Unnamed Angel can barely contain his excitement about his nebula. Aziraphale manages a baffled-but-polite, "....That's nice... :)"

11 years ago, Hastur and Ligur want to 'tell the deeds of the day,' and Crowley smiles to himself because (according to the script-book) he knows he has 'the best one.'

(Naturally, his 'deed' has nothing to do with tempting anybody, and everything to do with setting up a human-powered Rube-Goldberg machine of petty annoyance. Oodles of 'Evil' generated; very little harm done.)

Hastur and Ligur don't get it, of course. That's also consistent.

Nobody ever knows what the hell he's talking about.

It didn't make it on-screen, but, in both the novel AND the script-book, Crowley was friends with Leonardo da Vinci. The quintessential Renaissance polymath. That's where he got his drawing of the Mona Lisa --they're getting very drunk together, and Crowley picks up the 'most beautiful' of the preliminary sketches. He wants to buy it. Leonardo agrees almost off-the-cuff, very casual, because they're friends, and because he has bigger fish to fry than haggling over a doodle:

He goes, "Now, explain this helicopter thingie again, will you?" Because he's an engineer, too.

(It is 1519 at the latest, in this scene. Why the FUCK would Crowley know about helicopters, and be able to explain them, comprehensively, to Leonardo da Vinci?

...Well. I choose to believe he got bored one day and worked it out. Look, if you know how to build a nebula, you can probably handle aerodynamics. And anyway, I think it's telling that this is his idea of shooting the shit. 'A drunken mind speaks a sober heart,' and all. He probably babbled about Aziraphale long enough to make poor Leo sick)

Apart from Aziraphale, Leonardo da Vinci is the only person Crowley has any keepsakes or mementos of.

Think about that, though. Aziraphale's bookshop is bursting with letters, paintings, busts, and personalized signatures memorializing all the humans he's known and befriended over 6000 years (indeed: Aziraphale has living human friends up and down Whickber Street. He's part of a community).

Crowley doesn't have any of that. It's just the stone albatross from the Church (for pining), the infamous gay sex statue (for spicy pining), the houseplants (for roleplaying his deepest trauma over and over, as one does), and this one piece of artwork, inscribed, "To my friend Anthony from your friend Leo da V."

To me, at least, that suggests a level of attachment that seems to be rare for Crowley.

...Maybe he liked having someone to talk shop with? Someone who was interested? Someone engaged enough to ask questions when they didn't immediately understand?

...Anyway.

There's also the matter of the crank handle.

This thing:

This is one of the subtler changes from the book. In the book, Crowley knows Satan is coming and, desperate, arms himself with a tire iron. It's the best he can do. He's not Aziraphale; he wasn't made to wield a flaming sword.

The show, IMO, improves on this considerably. Now he, like Aziraphale, gets to face annihilation with what he was made for in his hand. And it's not a weapon, not even an improvised one like the tire iron.

He made stars with it.

[both gifs by @fuckyeahgoodomens]

If you Google 'crank handle,' you'll get variations on this:

Crank handles have been around for centuries. Consisting of a mechanical arm that's connected to a perpendicular rotating shaft, they are designed to convert circular motion into rotary or reciprocating motion.

Which is to say they're one of the 'simple machines,' like a lever or a pulley; the bread and butter of engineering. You'll also get a list of uses for a crank handle, archaic and modern. Among them: cranking up the engine of an old-fashioned car... say, a 1933 Bentley. That's what Crowley has been using his for, lately. But he's had it since he was an angel and he's still, it seems, very capable of it's angelic applications.

Stopping time. For instance.

(This is conjecture on my part, but, I like to imagine that Crowley has the ability to stop time for the same reason I can --and should-- unplug my computer before I perform maintenance on it. Time and Space are a matched set, after all, and in his designs in particular, one feeds into the other.)

I know everyone has already said this, but: I REALLY LIKE that when he needs to channel the heights of his power, he does so not with a weapon but with a tool. Practically with a little handheld metaphor for ingenuity. One from long-lost days when he made beautiful things.

(And he loved it. Still loves it --he incorporated that metaphor into the Bentley, didn't he?)

Let Aziraphale rock up to the apocalypse with a weapon: he has his own compelling thematic reasons to do exactly that. Crowley's story is different, and fighting isn't the only way to express defiance. And if you've been condemned as a demon and assumed to be destructive by your very nature, what better way than this?

He made stars. They didn't manage to take that from him.

Neither Crowley nor Aziraphale are fighters, really --they have no intention of fighting in any war. They'll annoy everyone until there's no war to fight in, for a start. But between the two, if one must be, then that one is Aziraphale. Principality of the Earth, Guardian of the Eastern Gate, Wielder of the Flaming Sword... all that stuff. Even if he'd prefer not to, it's very clear that Aziraphale can rise to the occasion, if he must.

Crowley was never that kind of angel. He wasn't a Principality. He doesn't have a sword.

...And yet.

It's Crowley who protects. He's the one who paces, who stands guard, who circles Aziraphale and glares out at the world, just daring anyone else to come near.

In light of everything else I've said here, I think that's interesting.

Obviously part of it is that Aziraphale enjoys it and, you know, good for him. He's living his best life, no doubt no doubt no doubt. But what about Crowley? What's driving that behavior, really?

Have you heard the phrase, 'loved to the point of invention'? Well, what if 'the point of invention' was where you started? What if where you end up involves glaring out at the world, just daring anyone else to come near? What is that, in relation to the bright-eyed thing you used to be?

What do we name the point to which Crowley loves Aziraphale?

...Thinking about how an excitable angel with three million pages of star design he wants to tell you all about...becomes a guard dog. Is all.

[sanguineterrain]

(fem reader, size difference, some thoughts about jason being a big fella.)

Thinking about how it takes Jason some time for it to sink in how different you are physically after he returns, and how it seriously fucks with him.

Obviously, he knows rationally that he's taller and stronger and just bigger. He knows that his skills are sharper than when he was Robin. He fights better because he's grown, and he has the body to match it. He no longer has to worry so much about how to use his opponent's strength against them. He has enough strength for ten opponents.

But it's different with you. You're not an opponent, though Jason frequently feels conquered by you. You were his friend before and you're his friend now, but he can't help but question if that's the only thing that's remained constant. Jason was a small kid, unassuming, and he suspects that that's why you liked him in the first place. Jason wasn't a physical threat before. Of course you'd feel safe with him as a friend. Now what?

The stark difference between you manifests in fleeting moments, like when he gets a cup for you from the cupboard which you could get yourself, but it's easier if Jason does it. And then he watches your smaller, lovely hand take it from his, your fingers brushing together, maybe they're painted with that nail polish you love so much, and Jason has to take a lap. You squeeze past him in the kitchen or the hallway and Jason can't stop thinking about how you both grew up but he really grew up, and you're not small, Jason's just big. He could cover a good part of your waist or your face with his hands. He could pull you into a hug, into a room, into his lap with such little effort, it frightens him. Your spine would bend if he pressed right; your arms would stay up, down, however he moved them. You could be Jason's pretty little doll, and that makes him feel like a monster.

This thought about Jason growing up and seeing you in a new light shaped by want and warmth is wrapped in a richer, darker thought about how Jason sees you and a part of his brain demands you to be his. He pines for it. It's not a quick kink to release in the bedroom (Jason can't even fathom you letting him into your bed); it's a constant reminder of how even though Jason's dedication to you is the same, the way in which he can show you his dedication is different. He's scary now, and sometimes that fills him with so much self-hatred, he feels sick. But sometimes it leaves him heady with power, thinking yeah, you don't need a guard dog, you get on fine, but Jason's there nonetheless, solid and able to take on anything. He would kill for you. You're not helpless but if you were, Jason would take care of you. He'd carry you around the apartment like a loyal steed if you wanted him to. He'd put his hand on the middle of your back and arch you over him, if you wanted him to. Only if you wanted to. Jason would rather die than scare you.

But here is the kicker: you aren't afraid. Jason's this looming tank of a man (of a monster?) and you carry on without a worry. You laugh and tease and poke his ribs and make him lunch and look up at him without a hint of fear. This does not bode well for that richer, darker desire of Jason's. If you were afraid of him, well, Jason could work with that. He'd hate himself more, but he'd understand. It's only logical that you'd fear someone who has such a physical advantage over you.

But every warm touch, every smile, every plate of food that you make for Jason with the casual excuse that you were cooking anyway (you weren't—he knows what you look like when you lie), it all just makes that terrifying thing inside of him want you more. More than once, Jason's woken up from a dream about you. His beautiful, incredible best friend, who'd crawl into his wolf mouth and fall asleep on his teeth. He's dreamt of you offering a sparkly gala gown to him, then pulling off your shirt and waiting for him to dress you. He's dreamt about your horrified screams when you realize that all he's good for is killing, and who'd want a bloodthirsty dog for a friend? He's had other dreams about you that left him hard and self-loathing. Jason's terrified by his desire, but if you let him, if you wanted it, he'd overwhelm you with his size in the best way. He wants you to bury yourself in him, the way he so often does with you. Make him hold you, rest your feet on his back, sleep on his chest. He can take it. He can take it all and more. God knows he's strong enough.

[ccsainzleclerc5516]

Family Expansion

Pairing: Carlos Sainz x reader

Warnings: none

Bea series continues

After Bea was born, you and Carlos both knew you didn't want to stop at just one child. You wanted to have at least three, although you didn't know that one little girl like Bea would be such a handful.

Bea is a little girl with character, very attached to both of you and especially to Carlos. Since Bea was already three years old, you didn't want there to be a big age difference between her and the second child, so you decided to start trying for another baby.

About three weeks ago when Carlos came back from the race in Singapore you welcomed him in your home with a pregnancy test in your hands and his eyes started to water with how happy he was. Since that night he couldn’t keep his hands off you and your stomach. He loved being a dad and he was the best at it. Bea was his whole world (and you of course), and the fact that he will have another little being with you sent him over the moon.

Anyway, tonight is the night you decided to break the news to Bea, explain to her in the simplest possible way that she is going to be a big sister. You were very nervous about it because you didn't know how she would react, and Carlos found it funny that you were afraid to tell a three-year-old that you were pregnant.

“Don’t laugh, Carlos! It’s not funny at all.” You sigh crossing your arms and looking away from him.

“Mi amor, you’re overreacting. I don't know why you keep thinking that another baby in the family will upset her.” He says placing a hand over your stomach and gently rubbing it.

“Well, that is exactly why! She will no longer be an only child and you know what our daughter is like. Very possessive, especially about you, and she likes all the attention to be focused only on her.”

“Baby, we have to tell her sooner or later. We might as well tell her sooner so we can start talking to her about it more often and start getting her used to the change.”

You sigh running your hands over your face then through your hair.

“Hey, look at me” Carlos says taking your chin between his fingers making you look at him. “Everything’s going to be okay. Don’t overthink this so much, she’s just a kid. Even if she doesn’t understand some things now that’s okay because she’s not supposed to. We’re in this together, always.”

“You’re right” You say leaning your head against his chest and he places a kiss on top of your head. “I’m sorry I’m making such a big deal out of this.”

“It’s okay, baby. I’m gonna go get her from her room.” He says getting up and leaving you on the couch in the living room.

While you were waiting for Carlos to come back with Bea, you thought that maybe you were exaggerating a bit, that you were making a bigger deal out of it than it actually was. Maybe Bea will be overjoyed to have a best friend for life. Maybe she will enjoy sharing everything with the new baby.

But then again, you knew your daughter very well to know that Bea doesn’t share things.

“Mama!” She exclaimed happily reaching out to you from Carlos' arms.

“Hey, baby” You smiled taking her in your arms. She sat in your lap wrapping her tiny arms around you and leaning her head on your chest. “Did you play with the new kitchen that daddy got you?”

“I did”

“What did you cook today, hm? What did chef Bea make for dinner?” You asked her.

“I..I made a soup. And a chicken. And potato.” She explained, counting on her fingers.

“Good job, baby.” You smiled kissing the tip of her nose.

“Okay, princesa, mommy and daddy have something to tell you, okay?” Carlos started and your heart rate increased. He took her from your lap and seated her between the two of you on the couch.

“Okay”

“Remember how we used to talk about having a baby brother or a baby sister for you?” Carlos asked her moving her curly hair out of her face.

“No” She simply said.

You and Carlos quickly both looked at each other and clamped your mouths shut to keep from bursting out laughing right at the start.

“Ay, nena no digas que no.” (Baby, don’t say no) He says pinching her nose. “Well, mommy has a baby in her belly. You’re going to be a big sister.”

He put his hand over your stomach and you put yours over his. Bea’s eyes just followed your movements without saying a word. Her expression was unreadable, but you could tell she wasn't thrilled with the news .

“How does that sound, mi amor?” Carlos asked her trying to snap her out of her thoughts.

And just like that hr lower lip started to twitch and she started to cry. She opened her mouth and cried inconsolably. You looked at Carlos and mouthed “I told you so” and threw your head back sighing.

He quickly took her in his arms and started rubbing her back as she hid her face in the crook of his neck.

“Bea, don’t cry, bebe” He tried. “You’re going to have so much fun with the baby brother or baby sister. You’re always going to have someone to play with, maybe share a room together. Isn’t that so much fun?”

“I-I don’t-” She sobbed. “Don’t need it”

“It's not a matter of whether you need it or not. Mommy and Daddy want you and another baby. You will still be our little girl, forever, only we will have one more baby.” He was choosing his words carefully making sure to include her in every sentence that left his mouth.

Once she calmed down a bit and stopped crying she said “But-but I wanted an ice cream, not a baby brother or a baby sister”

Both you and Carlos laughed squeezing your eyes shut at her nonchalant statement.

“How about you get an ice cream and a baby brother or a baby sister?” Carlos asked her.

She took some time to think and soon agreed to the proposal. “Okay..”

“Entonces tenemos un trato, si?” (Then we have a deal, yes?) He hugged her tightly kissing her cheek and she nodded her head yes. “Go get your shoes because I’m taking my girls out for an ice cream right now.”

“Can we get a puppy too?” Bea asked.

“Well..” Carlos laughed looking at you.

“Carlos!” You warned him with your eyes knowing that he has trouble saying no to his favorite girl.

“We’ll see about that, let’s get some ice cream first”

[phosvye]

"Oh, no. No, no, no, no, baby," he said, pulling you back to bed and onto him. Fucking you back to him, veiny hands gripping your waist, making you bite back a moan—which earned you a laugh from him. A fucking laugh.

You had gotten into a petty fight with Dick earlier that day. A small thing warped into a big one after petty and out-of-pocket replies. Words were said, and lashes were batted. And now, you find yourself running away from the bruising, pleasurable hold Dick has over your frame. He's thrusting and fucking the pride out of that evil cunt of yours, leaving you with little to nothing to bite back with.

"Yeah, no. You don't get to run away after saying shit to me. What did you say, huh? That that stupid idiot could dick you down better? Well, why are you running away from this dick? Is it too much for you?"

He doesn't even know what the fuck he's talking about at this point because the way you were sucking him in was already pulling on the last bit of brainpower he fucking had. Fucking unfair. He didn’t even know why he was angry, really. As far as he remembered, he was offended because you showed him an IG reel of countless guys with muscles, goading him with "I bet he could do me better." "You think he's bigger?" or "I think it'd be so big, I'd probably run."

And he understands that you're a no-filter and a teasing person. But goddamn, this was a new record for him. So the only way to erase such thoughts from your brain was to dick you down himself. And he thinks it’s working.

I mean, look at you. Gripping at the ruffled bedsheets, grasping for escape after he rams himself into you for god knows how long, prying you open and coaxing an orgasm stronger than the last. Look at you, moaning and pleading for him to stop. Look at you, mewling, taing his hands to release you. Look at you, chanting, "Oh! Ah—sto- Ah! Stop, stop, stop. 'S too much, Dick, too much! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," with the best of your ability to form coherent thoughts and sentences as you roll your eyes back, trying to crawl away from the reprimanding, toe-curling pleasure.

But you're evil, and he knows you're going to do it again just to push him to remind you where you belong. He knows you dig this shit. He fucking knows how much you fuck with this.

So what better way to give it to you than when he's really pissed? Because fuck it, he'll use the energy he has as a vigilante to fuck some sense into that brain of yours that only seems to know how to tick him off. Fuck the daylights out of you type shit.

And with your attempts to escape and constant pleading, you're sure to be in for a long night.

And your boyfriend, Dick, will use all the seconds, minutes, and hours of that long night to wring out more from you until you're thoroughly fucked out of those thoughts about those stupid guys on IG reels. Until you’ve drooled on every surface of those pearl-white bedsheets while he dicks you down. Until you can't mutter even a fucking letter. Until you can't even think to run away.

Until you're sorry.

Until you've learned that this was the last time you'll ever goad Dick.

Until you're limping your way to work, to the groceries, to go shopping.

Until you scroll past every reel of guys on your explore page.

[astonmartinii]

bad blood (lando's version) | lando norris social media au

pairing: lando norris x fem carlos ex!reader

band aid's don't fix bullet holes but his best friend might

based on this request:so reader is a famous model who’s also carlos ex (dated YEARS) and after the breakup he jumped straight to rebeca (we just need a tiny bit of bad blood). soo she and lando always got along, ever since carlos was in mclaren. the point is they get together and come hand in hand to a gp out of nowhere so drama and more bad blood surface - you can lead this to whatever you want hehe, thanks!!! - @lorenakaspersen

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

vogue

liked by hunterschafer, landonorris and 1,209,433 others

tagged: yourusername

vogue: y/n y/ln takes the cover for this month, where she talks re-discovering herself and giving yourself time to move on. copies in stores everywhere this friday.

view all comments

user1: i am once again asking how the fuck that man fumbled a bad bitch like her

user2: do not bring that man up here, he actually boils my blood

user3: honestly thank god they wear helmets in f1 cause if i saw his smug little face i may have smashed by tv

yourusername: thank you for having me hehehehhe xx

vogue: you dropped this queen 👑

user4: not vogue supporting her more than carlos ever did 🤨

user5: at least lando still supports her

user6: i'm glad the friends she made... i.e lando, charles, max, daniel, etc did also abandon her when carlos just dropped her

hunterschafer: you're the person i see in your dreams

yourusername: are you sure i'm not just your sleep paralysis demon?

hunterschafer: you're welcome to stalk mine dreams anytime

user7: how am i meant to care about f1 without y/n?

user8: she's the reason i learnt about the sport but at leats now i have an excuse to support someone else LOL

landonorris: tinkerbell looks a little bit different here

yourusername: i thought you were too old to watch peter pan?

landonorris: i just said that so you would think i'm a big macho man :(

yourusername: that is tragic

landonorris: can i interest you in a movie night some time soon then

yourusername: you might

user9: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE ^^

user10: idk but i am excited

f1wagupdates

liked by user11, user12 and 4,032 others

f1wagsupdates: carlos sainz debuts his new girlfriend rebecca donaldson at the bahrain grand prix, just one month after breaking up with model y/n y/ln. sainz and y/ln were together for three years, and sainz was seen with donaldson for the first time just a week after the breakup.

view all comments

user13: lol the wag accounts are done with his ass

f1wagsupdates: i am a y/n y/ln stan first and foremost

user14: anyone see the absolute stink eye charles and lando gave carlos LOL

user15: that's the thing when you're together for so long, the friends get attached as well

user16: i mean if certified homie hopper charles leclerc is calling your bluff then you know you've fucked up

user17: i will never understand how he jumped into a relationship with her after three years ?? LIKE IT WAS NOTHING

user18: things like that make me glad i'm single

user19: the thing that is bothering me that no one has said yet is the fact that he's been with her what a month? and he's already brought her to a race when he made y/n wait months to go to a race?

user20: screams insecurity - like "look i have moved on, i'm an alpha male who can get whoever i want"

user21: i never understood why he didn't let her come to races for months when they first got together, like not even his home race?

user22: i've always got the vibe that he thought that he was better than her and that she was using him?

user23: the way if he ever posted her (which was not very often) he never tagged her

user24: which is ironic because she's one of the most celebrated models in recent history, she has millions more followers than him and has a bigger network than him, so really if anyone was using anyone it was carlos using her

user25: anyone else pulling for her to get with lando?

user26: i always thought they got on more in the videos of them all together but honestly i just want her to be happy

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 2,018,552 others

yourusername: not much going on recently

view all comments

user27: SHE'S SO HOT

user28: i need her to give me one chance please

charles_leclerc: are we still down for the road trip to lourdes?

yourusername: needed now more than ever

charles_leclerc: trust and believe

user29: charles and y/n friendship you mean so much to me

user30: need her to sit in charles' side of the garage

user31: mother went to the university of servington where she got a degree is cuntology with a minor in slaying the haus down

danielricciardo: miss ma'am, leave some for the rest of us

yourusername: why thank you good sir

danielricciardo: where do i procure a veil as such?

yourusername: i may source one for you if you promise not to shave that moustache

heidiberger: preach

user32: i bet carlos just thought everyone would just forget about y/n when he dropped her, but he forgot that she's probably more liked on the grid than he is LOL

landonorris: why are you staring into my soul like that

yourusername: why are you lurking in my comment section

landonorris: i thought we were friends :(

yourusername: always and forever

user33: but he wants it to be more

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo

user33: I SAW THAT LANDO X Y/N COMING SOON?

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 803,774 others

landonorris: hostess with the most-ess?

view all comments

user34: is that a ... WOMAN?

user35: he's saying he's a host ... maybe he's hosting a friend who is a girl, it's not illegal

user36: i get your sentiment, but that photo is straight out of the soft launch girlfriend pinterest boards

user37: well now i'm picturing lando scrolling through pinterest and asking ??? to recreate the pics 😭

carlossainz55: missing my golf partner, round this weekend? ⛳️

landonorris: let me check my schedule buddy 👍

user38: okay... well someone else tell me that they can feel the vibe shift

user39: it's their first online interaction after the breakup, i think we can guess who's side lando is on

oscarpiastri: someone needs to debrief me asap

landonorris: someone forgot that he owns a phone

oscarpiastri: needed the added pressure of the public call out to make you actually do it

landonorris: fine, but you get three questions and that's it

user40: if the call out was public can't we get the public answers

yourusername: are you coming for my job?

landonorris: you saying i could model 😊

yourusername: i'm definitely saying you should let me give my agent your number

landonorris: you already have my number babe

yourusername: okay pretty boy

user41: i need this type of nepotism in my life

user42: i need the nepotism and the sexual tension cause PHEW it is through the roof

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, landonorris and 2,760,521 others

yourusername: enjoy the picture of me fucking up a pretzel

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user46: okay where are the detective freaks from f1twt?

user47: reporting for duty 🫡

user46: what car is that?

user47: it looks strikingly similar to a jolly, but i don't know if that's just my brain pushing me to make it lando. but there is a florist in monaco that wraps their flowers just like that as well ....

user46: thank you for your service

danielricciardo: this is very ballerina core 🩰

yourusername: has the old man been spending time on the internet?

danielricciardo: yes he has 😃

yourusername: omg proud

danielricciardo: no but seriously how did you do it? it looks sick

yourusername: very fiddly, needed an extra pair of hands

danielricciardo: an extra pair of hands [wiggles eyebrows]

yourusername: did you just comment your own stage directions?

danielricciardo: funny 😄

user48: okay i am glad we're not being deprived of the y/n and daniel friendship.

landonorris: i am enjoying this picture of you fucking up a pretzel

yourusername: i am a whore for carbs

landonorris: i am a whore for you

this comment was deleted

landonorris: i am also a whore for carbs (don't tell jon)

maxverstappen1: 📸📸📸 saw that mister !!

landonorris: you didn't see NOTHING

user49: we saw everything. i am so disappointed in lando, he's carlos' bestfriend and he's doing this?

liked by carlossainz55

user50: oh i know this man aint speaking

f1teaandgossip

liked by user51, user52 and 10,945 others

ftteaandgossip: carlos sainz was caught liking this tweet about his ex girlfriend y/n y/ln and his (former?) best friend lando norris. what do you think?

view all comments

user53: the audacity of men never fails to astound me

user54: you know what, i feel like a guilty man only acts this bold. so i'm saying it. i think there was overlap between his relationship with y/n and his relationship with rebecca

user55: you're right and you should say it

user56: carlos got with rebecca within a WEEK of the end of a three year relationship but is angry that she's finally moving on after months ?

user57: for real the first sight of lando and y/n was after at least two months

user58: i know people will say she's in the wrong because it is lando but honestly carlos has no leg to stand on with him parading rebecca around the paddock

user59: i really couldn't give a fuck if lando is his best buddy you act like a fool expect to get treated like a fool

user60: also the whole "whoring around the grid" is so dumb. you mean her FRIENDS? you know the friends she had to make when you would just leave her in the paddock or ignore her at parties ?

user61: babe really thought he was more loved in the paddock and expected everyone to go along with his messiness

user62: men don't talk about women this way challenge

user63: imagine talking about a girl you were with for THREE tears like this

user64: i wish lando and y/n all the best and i hope they're together for a long time, she deserves a good man after all of this

user65: i have faith 🤞

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 3,109,413 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: sloppy seconds you say? i never come second with him. pun intended x

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user66: SERVE

user67: user67 found dead in her home, cause of death: this post

landonorris: what can i say i'm a giver 🤷‍♂️

yourusername: i'll say 😮‍💨

oscarpiastri: ENOUGH

landonorris: i thought you were happy for us oscar :(

oscarpiastri: i am !! i even took the second picture. but i think you forget that i am staying with you in monaco :/

yourusername: whoops my bad

landonorris: i swear my hospitality is usually better

yourusername: i can attest to his hospitality

oscarpiastri: STOP PLEASE STOP

user68: poor oscar being traumatised by y/n and lando 😭

carlossainz55: real mature

yourusername: how about instead of liking shady tweets and commenting on my instagram posts, you come confront me like a real fucking person.

carlossainz55: you'd love that wouldn't you

yourusername: i really would because if i said everything you needed to hear i'd be banned from this app

carlossainz55: you really are the gold digging slut my parents warned me about

landonorris: you will absolutely not talk to her that way. if you do so again we'll have a very real problem

carlossainz55: you have no sense of loyalty lando

landonorris: the call is coming from inside the house

user69: the girls are FIGHTING

comments on this post have been limited.

landonorris

liked by oscarpiastri, yourusername and 1,866,398 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: nothing better than a podium at home and time with family

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user72: the sky camera shady as fuck for cutting straight to y/n in the mclaren garage when carlos crashed LOL

user73: her and lando's dad trying not to laugh had me creasing

yourusername: beyond proud of you baby

landonorris: your support means everything pretty girl

yourusername: and your family are the loveliest, tell mama i said thank you for having me (and my sandwiches for the plane)

landonorris: she say's thank you and come back soon (i also want you to come home asap)

user74: he already refers to his house at their home

user75: and y/n has been accepted by the family - the sainzs could take notes

oscarpiastri: oscar piastri erasure

yourusername: sorry osc, you're our favourite pookie on the grid

landonorris: also mama made you sandwiches too

oscarpiastri: i know they were very yummy 😋

danielricciardo: HOLD ON, oscar is your favourite pookie, where am i ???

maxverstappen1: i think you'll find i am their favourite full stop

charles_leclerc: nuh uh it's clearly me

yourusername: i'll just say lando is my favourite

landonorris: and i'll say y/n is my favourite

yourusername: and that's that

danielricciardo: boooooooo.

maxverstappen1: cop out :(

charles_leclerc: 🍅🍅🍅

user76: i am so confused right now

yourusername

liked by bellahadid, landonorris and 3,109,766 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: you are in love, true love.

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user77: omg the letters? i swear there were letters in her first post after carlos took rebecca to the first race of the season

user78: wait so do you think they were from lando the whole time?

yourusername: yes they are from lando ! after the carlos stuff had somewhat died down he had them all delivered to me and it definitely swayed me for a first date

user79: but i thought some of those letters looked pretty old

landonorris: i won't deny that i liked y/n for a long time but i obviously couldn't express that so i put them in letters. an idiot was an idiot and i'll never not take my chance

user80: okay that makes this whole thing so much cuter

user81: y/n is the definition of never letting your boyfriend stop you from finding your husband

landonorris: you're my best friend and i love you so much

yourusername: i'd go through all this mess and all this heartbreak again if it meant i still end up with you

landonorris: but i'm by your side forever now you can't get rid of me

yourusername: i wouldn't dream of it

user82: lord i have seen it all, please bless me with a relationship like this

danielricciardo: god you people are ridiculously cute

oscarpiastri: just think yourself lucky that you no longer share a garage with them

landonorris: we're not THAT bad

oscarpiastri: i have working ears

yourusername: sorry not sorry osc x

fin.

note: hope you all enjoyed. i am dying trying to do 75 soft but i also signed up for burlesque class !!

[pullupinarari]

At the right time [LH]

author's note: this is the beginning of the dad!Lewis AU that I've been thinking about writing for so long 🤧 thank you so much to the anon that requested this! I changed some bits, hope you don't mind! Enjoy it, mwah

• masterlist

wc: 4090 - english is not my first language! feedback is always appreciated

“Shitty day at work, want to go have dinner out? I need to unwind a bit” - your phone screen lights up with a text from your husband, making you gasp as your attention is focused on a completely different thing.

The test in your hands is making your heart pound, your body is shaking while tears are slowly sliding through your cheeks. Two lines. Two, bright red lines that had just changed your entire future in a matter of minutes. A smile shows up on your face - the kind that you can’t control. You and Lewis have been talking about having babies for some time now, and you know that becoming a dad is Lewis’ biggest dream. You know it’s a spot in his life that he has yet to fulfill, having conquered everything in his career - and your family still has that chapter missing in the book.

And now, everything makes sense. The way your stomach has been acting weird, especially in the mornings, how you have been craving more food than you usually do. It’s like the puzzle fits now, the answer for your weird behaviors being right in front of you.

Lewis makes you feel safe, loved, protected - he’s responsible for making you believe in love again, after feeling discouraged for so long, before meeting him. He’s dedicated, gentle, loving, understanding. He could give you the entire world, but he chose to give you his heart, in its entirety - and that’s even bigger than the world. Whenever he looks at you, you feel seen, truly seen. He sees you for what you truly are, he sees your constellations, the ones that live inside of you. He sees your happiness, your fears, your anxieties, and he manages to reach them all with his warmth, his touch, the sparkle in his eyes talking to your emotions.

You know Lewis will be the best father that this baby could ever dream of. And that’s what makes this moment feel so right and so special: you finally found the right person, the one that will be there for your baby no matter what, the one who is going to act like a real father.

Your smile grows wider at the thought of breaking the news to your husband, so you quickly text him, agreeing on having dinner out - thinking of it as the perfect excuse to go out and celebrate once you tell him the news.

Looking at yourself in the mirror while you’re getting ready, you notice a different sparkle in your eyes already. You choose a simple, nice dress that you know that Lewis loves to see you in, but your mind can’t stop imagining how your belly will grow in the next couple of months.

Lewis appears behind you, startling you - he almost caught you with your hand on your stomach, but you managed to cover your movement, making it seem like you were just adjusting your dress.

“You look gorgeous, darling” - his voice feels warm against your neck, where he lands a kiss while he hugs you from behind, framing your body effortlessly.

You absently drown in his touch, gluing your bodies together even more. You turn your face to him, capturing his lips in a loving kiss. “Hard day at work, huh?” - you question, noticing the frown on his face - he clearly doesn’t want to talk about it.

“Everything just got better now that I have you in my arms. It’s a power that you have” - he gives you a gentle smile, realizing how badly he was in need to feel your touch as well. Your hand caresses his beard and cheek, and you notice how he melts on your skin, his eyes closing for a second while he breathes heavily, trying to let go of the tension surrounding his body.

“We can stay home and order something, if you’d like. You seem tired, love” - you point out, your soft words contrasting with the heavy cloud hovering on his head.

He just shakes his head slightly, taking your hand in his and kissing your knuckles. “No, baby. Let’s go and have some fun” - he tries his best to assure you that he is fine, trying to get his mind off all the problems happening at work, for a couple of hours.

And so you do, you decide to go to your favorite Italian restaurant. You look at the menu, and you already know what your favorite dishes are. Lewis can already guess what you’re going to order - spaghetti al nero, your ultimate favorite from this place, the dish that you never grow tired of.

“I am going to have this dish… a risotto with mushrooms? Please” - you ask the waiter, and Lewis can’t help but look up, with furrowed eyebrows and a confused look on his face.

“I’ll have the penne arrabiatta, please” - he orders, thanking the waiter as he distances himself from your table. “Baby, are you okay? Why did you order that? You hate mushrooms” - Lewis asks you, the question mark in his face looking evident now.

Your face turns into a compromised look, your brain realizing that you, indeed, hate mushrooms, but you can’t help the cravings pooling in your stomach. Your mouth is salivating at the thought of having the dish in front of you, making you feel like you can’t wait much longer to eat.

“I want to try it! I am giving other foods a chance, see if I can improve my taste buds” - you say, noticing how Lewis looks at you with a raised brow now, not understanding a word of what you’re saying, but he still lets you have it your way.

Your food finally arrives, and you can’t help but inspect your dish. It’s like the mushrooms stand out in the middle of the risotto, shadowing the rest of the food on the plate. Meanwhile, you take a look at your husband’s plate - looking way more delicious than yours.

“Humm, looks so tasty” - Lewis says ironically while he studies your reaction, how your face is closed in a slightly disgusted expression, how your body froze once your eyes landed on the dish in front of you. He giggles to himself, already knowing that you won’t be able to eat all your food.

You give him a look, tasting your dish. The risotto tastes good, but you can’t control your facial expressions when you get to taste a mushroom. It lingers in your mouth while you try to avoid it, not wanting to chew on it - but you do. Your face wrinkles at the taste, you definitely don’t enjoy it, but your stomach wants it, and your body is fighting an internal battle with the mixture of emotions that you’re feeling now.

Lewis watches you attentively, widening his eyes while he waits for you to finally eat the damn mushroom that’s been sitting in your mouth for too long now. You need to make an extra effort to swallow it, and the man in front of you is now feeling sorry for you.

“Baby, my love, light of my life - can you explain to me why the hell you’re doing this to yourself?” - he says with an amused expression, he can’t deny that the show that the facial expressions you are giving him is very entertaining.

You sigh, not wanting to break the news to him in a restaurant full of people. This is your special moment, it belongs to just the two of you, so you hold the words inside of you.

“I just wanted to give it a try. I wanted to have some risotto and I thought it would be a good idea to act like an adult and actually eat the mushrooms” - a frown paints your face now, as you try and push yourself to eat another one, even while feeling like you could throw up anytime now.

“Okay, this is enough” - Lewis says as he takes the plate away from you. “Let’s just order you some food that you actually enjoy, okay?” - he suggests, his hand searching for yours across the table, caressing your knuckles as he reads the disappointed expression on your face now.

You sigh again, shrugging your shoulders, like you don’t know what to do. “But I will have to wait, and I’m so hungry” - you say quietly, feeling slightly embarrassed by your choices now.

Lewis nods his head, agreeing with you. His hands move his own plate to the center of the table, smiling at you while he pushes his chair a little more so he can reach the dish in its new place. You send him a puzzled look in response, but he just signals you to move yourself a little closer to the food as well.

“Come on love, let’s have dinner. I don’t want you to starve and I know you like what I ordered, so please, take a bite. I promise you it’s delicious” - the adorable expression on his face, alongside his soft words, the way his eyes shine as he found a solution to help you, could almost make you cry now. You truly are so lucky to have him.

The way your bodies are so close to the table now, how you share the pasta with love plastered all over your faces, could make anyone wish they were fortunate enough to have what you two have. It’s the way you look at each other, leaning on your elbows so your faces grow closer, adoration and devotion emanating from your bodies, creating a bubble of love around you two, like there’s no one else in the world, at this moment. You eat in silence, letting a few giggles and smiles escape your lips as your eyes speak for both of you now.

“I love you so much” - Lewis says as he holds your hand gently, his fingers caressing yours after you finish your dinner now.

“I love you even more. You even shared your dish with me” - you note with a small laugh, wishing you could stay in this moment forever.

“Oh, please. I would rather be the one not eating just for you to have the food, my love. I share my life with you, why the hell wouldn’t I share dinner with my beautiful wife?” - he grins, kissing your hand softly. He is feeling softer, his body is melting at the way you seem to warm his heart every time he is in need of it. He just wants to hold you, kiss you, cuddle you, his eyes can’t stop shining at the sight of you, at the realization that he is, indeed, the luckiest man on the planet for having you.

“I’ll just go to the bathroom before we leave, okay? I think we need some cuddle time on the sofa” - you let him know, while he nods his head at your suggestion - it’s like you could read his mind.

Lewis’ eyes follow your silhouette on your way to the bathroom, a smile resting on his face while he feels your loving aura still lingering in the air - it’s like you’re a poem, one that remains in his mind after he read it, feeling it running through his veins as he grew obsessed with it, like a loving set of words that he remembers every single day when he sees you.

All your good parts, all the flaws, the adventures you explore together, each moment forms a different chapter in the pages of your life. And he can’t stop thanking God, life, destiny, for putting him in your way, for allowing him to be part of your story, to write a couple of poems by your side. You are the book that he wants to read every single day, for the rest of his life, and he could never get tired of it.

After a second, Lewis notices another guy completely checking you out as you pass by him, and his eyebrows furrow when he notices the dude changing his position at the bar, like he’s ready to meet you once you step outside - and the calm bubble that once surrounded yours and his mind, bursts.

His instinct kicks in, immediately getting up from his seat at the table to pay for your dishes. He then positions his body near the bathroom exit, in a way that it would make it harder for the other guy to reach you once you show up.

He is just tired, exhausted really, and he can’t help but feel some jealousy creeping through his body at the way other dudes check you out. You truly are the most gorgeous woman he has ever laid his eyes on, and he understands that other guys notice your beauty. Any other day, it would boost his ego, knowing that you are his, he is the lucky one that gets to be married to you. But tonight, he just wants to go home, he wants to have you all to his eyes only - he can’t stop his possessive trait to show now.

You leave the bathroom, facing Lewis as soon as you step out, surprised by the way he is at the door - expecting to find him still at your table. “Someone is eager for that cuddle session, I see” - you giggle, wrapping your body around his arm, but frowning when you notice how stiff his body feels now and how silent he goes.

“What’s wrong, baby?” - you ask him, wondering what could’ve happened to make his mood backtrack so much in just a few minutes.

He sighs, holding the door for you to walk out the restaurant. “Let’s just go home, please. I am not in the mood for this” - he answers, as both of you enter the car now.

You look at him attentively while you notice the way his face fell so quickly, how he seems to be feeling discouraged and upset again.

“Lew… talk to me, baby. I’m here for you” - your hand finds his, nestling it on your lap as your fingers gently caress his knuckles. You turn your body to him, using your left hand to gently touch his cheek.

The way you touch his skin so lightly, so softly, makes his head lean on your hand instinctively, his body searching for more comfort, for your warmth.

“I got jealous because of this dude checking you out when you left the table. But I am so exhausted, I don’t even have the strength to deal with my own feelings right now, so I just wanted to leave as soon as possible. I don’t want to feed those stupid emotions, I already have my mind full of problems and concerns” - he admits, his eyes looking smaller in his face, due to the tiredness enduring in his body.

You nod your head, understanding his words. You make sure to keep comforting his body, loving the way he seems to relax when he feels your touch. “Baby, you know you don’t have to worry about any of that. I don’t care about any guys looking at me and you know it. I chose you, I married you, and I would choose you every single time. You’re the only one I want, silly” - you tell him with a giggle, your finger carefully bopping the tip of his nose, making him smile softly.

He knows about all that - of course he does. But it’s the way he hears it coming from you, it’s your words that are comforting him, the way you are always by his side when he is feeling down and doubtful, like his safety net - always ready to hold him and to make him feel safe in a heartbeat.

Now, it’s just you and him in the car - still parked in front of the restaurant, Lewis not having the will to drive just yet while he is venting about the way his mind feels so chaotic now. But you’re enjoying it: the silence, the way the moon reflects on the windows, letting some light in so you can see each other’s features. Your legs are now resting on his lap - a way he found to bring your body closer to his, wanting to feel you more, to draw patterns on your skin while your fingers still move on his features lovingly.

There it is: your safe place again, your bubble of love and protection, the calm surrounding you while all the chaos stays outside - like it can’t reach you and your husband when you are together. And you feel like you could burst right here, right now, knowing you still have such an important surprise to tell him. Your heart is beating out of your chest, you try to take subtle deep breaths, but you realize that there’s no point in waiting until you two get home - not when you feel so comfortable and at peace in this moment.

“And I also think that you shouldn’t focus on that, right now. We have something bigger to worry about from now on” - you tell him quietly, while you try to suppress the huge smile threatening to form on your face.

Lewis closes his eyes at your words, sighing. “You’re right. This season hasn’t been going well at all, and we still don’t know how things are going to go next year-” - he starts rambling, his mind immediately going back to all his problems at work, not even realizing that you’re trying to hint something now.

“No” - you say between giggles, catching his attention. “Love, I am pregnant” - you tell him while your hand caresses your stomach gently, some tears appearing in your eyes already.

Lewis stays silent for a second, his mouth agape at what he just heard. “Wh- What? Pregnant? Really, baby?” - his voice is quiet and low, he feels his vision getting blurry as well now as he turns his entire body to you, facing you completely and inspecting your body, his eyes gluing themselves to your belly immediately.

You just nod your head, letting the tears slide through your cheeks as Lewis reaches for you, hugging you tightly while he moves your body gently so you can sit on his lap now. It’s the way he holds you, breathing heavily as he lets his own tears fall free as well.

“You’re going to be a daddy, my love. The best dad ever” - you confirm, smiling wide at him, while the crying matches both of you.

“I am going to be a dad. Oh my God, I am going to be a dad! This is the best news ever” - the man hides his face on your neck as he keeps crying silently, his own hand caressing your stomach instinctively now. Your hand caresses his scalp, the effervescent feeling of happiness surrounding both of you now seems never ending.

“I love you so much, my love. I love you, I love you. Thank you, I don’t even know what to say. I’m so happy, baby. We are going to be parents!” - he captures your lips in a passionate kiss, one of his hands holding your cheek, but the other one never leaving your belly now.

You just giggle at his words, seeing how his eyes are shining so brightly now. Even if it’s dark inside the car right now, you can still see it - the feeling of realization, of pure love, happiness. The way his wide smile is making his eyes look small because he can’t stop the excitement that’s running through his veins now - forgetting about all the problems that were surrounding his mind just a few minutes ago.

“I found out this morning. The test says I’m 5 weeks pregnant, but I’m booking a doctor’s appointment to make sure” - you let him know while your fingers wipe the tears from your face, calming down now.

“5 weeks?!” - his eyes widen as he sniffles a bit. “That’s why you’ve been acting weird, right? Your stomach has been feeling off, that weird thing with mushrooms just now…” - Lewis starts connecting the dots.

You nod your head again, a laugh escaping your lips. “Yeah” - you don’t even want to think about the mushrooms again, feeling nauseous just by the thought of it.

“Jesus darling, that was so painful to watch” - he is the one erupting in laughter now, but a few seconds after, he is paying attention to your stomach.

“Hey, little bean. It’s daddy” - Lewis smiles to himself as he talks to your belly now, something that he couldn’t imagine that would be happening now. “You need to stop making mommy eat food that she doesn’t like, please. I can tell you that her silly faces are fun to watch, but please try to avoid it, alright? So she won’t get mad at both of us” - his giggles echo through the car, making you laugh as well.

“No, but for real, now. I am going to do everything in my power to take care of both of you, to protect you and to make sure you have everything that you need” - his eyes focus on yours for a moment, in a promise of love - of forever, a promise that he will never fail.

And you know it. And this is why you know that Lewis will be the best dad you could ever ask for your baby. Because he’s attentive, caring, dedicated - and he has been dreaming of becoming a dad for years now, waiting for the right person, the right time.

If you were going to ask him, he might think that this wasn’t the ideal time - considering all the chaos he’s been living through at work. But everything happens for a reason, and he has no doubts that this baby is coming into your lives at the right time, to light up his world, his days, to give him another reason to continue, even when he feels down. Another reason to rise.

And that night, when you lay next to each other, he hugs you close, and the way you smile at each other, shyly, lovingly, says everything to the both of you - he has never been more sure that he will forever be in love with you. His hands wrap around your belly gently when he spoons your figure, breathing in your hair - his favorite scent ever, immediately associating it with you, everywhere he is.

You are his home, and you have been for the past however many years. But now, you are also the home of your baby, and Lewis is so grateful that he chose you - to be his wife, and the mother of his babies. He is proud to make all his dreams come true by your side.

“Goodnight, my loves. I love both of you so much” - he whispers in your ear, leaving small kisses on your cheek, neck and shoulder while his hands caress your belly - even if it doesn’t look like a baby is inside there yet. But you and Lewis know there is, and that’s enough to make your hearts warm.

His arms are the place where you feel the safest. He is the one that calms your heartbeat, that quiets down all your fears and worries - just like how you do for him. He is the one that completes you, the pillar of your family.

Poetry is not on the streets, poetry is not in life. Poetry is in your eyes, in the way you see things, in the way you feel everything around you. And there couldn’t be a better poem than the sight of the love of your life wrapped around you, his hands touching your belly, dreaming about your baby already.

The most beautiful poem, carefully written and planned by all the gods standing in the roman coliseum, taking them centuries to finish their best work - him. And how grateful you are for being able to have him all to yourself, to call him your husband and now, father of your baby. Raising a family by his side truly is the most beautiful chapter that you could write together, and you have no doubts about it.

Now you just have to be patient, in need to calm your racing heart at the thought of wanting to know everything about your child already, of holding your baby in your arms. Now, everything seems a bit confusing, a thousand questions and fears popping in your brain. But you’re sure of one thing: love will never fail your baby - he is already so, so loved. And the journey is just about to start.

[ccccatttta]

fisherman james, who actually sucks at it but is very optimistic about his brand-new hobby (bc monty is great at it so he wants something else to bond over with his dad, he's cute like that)

enter merman regulus, who falls in love with him from afar, so he helps the very dumb human to catch some fish, in secret.

like, james is doing all the steps wrong and always uses the wrong knots and bait, but somehow he always gets the biggest catch ever. he gets sooo smug about it, telling everyone that he's a natural and shows off to everyone who could dare to hear him.

however, he's also a big softie, he doesn't want to harm the fish, so he lets them go after some obnoxious pictures.

regulus, who is actually the one catching the fish for him, finds it preposterous. he's helping the hot human? and he just gives the fish back? regulus is basically courting him?? and he's just giving the fish back????

so, in his very smart merman brain, he does the obvious thing: brings bigger fish! maybe james is just a very difficult man (merman? regulus doesn't care) but no one would ever say no to a shark

james actually passes out when he sees the shark and falls to the sea, a tragedy given he was completely on his own

cue to regulus having to save him on a very dramatic scene, he also has to take back the shark and make sure james doesn't end up dying

it's a very exhausting thing, trying to be this man's mate, but regulus is no quitter. so he manages.

when he gets james to the shore, the fisherman wakes up and sees regulus, and his mind goes absolutely blank, no thoughts, only pretty merman on sight. his brain is basically a blubbering mess of "oh my god i almost died, he's so pretty, mermaids are real what the fuck, he's so pretty, did he save me? he's so pretty lord"

regulus is a bit dumbfounded too, he knew the human was pretty, but he never got to see him from this close, and the man is somehow even more stunning, it's crazy.

james immediately tries to talk to him, and regulus understands him, of course he does, he's smart as fuck, he knows about the human language, he doesn't know how to say anything besides his name tho.

so their talk goes like:

james [in love]: who are you?

regulus: regulus

james: did you save me?

regulus: *clicking sounds*

james [still trying]: did you bring the shark?

regulus: *aggresive clicking sounds*

they actually don't talk much, and then some people who saw james fall start to arrive, so regulus has to leave.

james is in love.

regulus comes back the next day, super early, matching james who's also incredibly eager to see him again. and this time, regulus is closer than ever.

james pretty much forgets about fishing altogether and just spends the whole time trying to talk to regulus, and this cycle continues for several days until regulus is able to talk back to him.

james tries so hard to learn everything about regulus and merpeople, he's a sap, it's amazing. when he finally learns about courting gifts, he spends a whole afternoon making regulus a handmade necklace, it has a little star and sun pendant and it's made of pure gold so sea water can't do any damage to him.

regulus thinks they are basically married then.

something something, regulus figures that if he's on land enough time to dry, he can turn into a human, and that makes everything easier. james can now take him on proper dates and for their first one, he takes him to the village's library. regulus is so excited he can't stop preening.

in the meantime tho, we have sirius who is an overbearing but very loving brother, who hasn't heard from regulus in hours and goes to the human's ship to find him

imagine his surprise when his baby brother and the man who he has described as his mate are not there. but remus is (he's james' best friend, he doesn't like fishing but reading in the boat is one of the best things on earth, according to him)

sirius, is then nervous as fuck, because his little brother told him he was with a human on a boat, and now he's on said boat, and his little brother is NOT there, and there's ANOTHER human

so he does the only thing he thinks is reasonable:

he flips the whole boat while remus is still on it and then he grabs said remus by the collar and starts screaming the living daylights out of him.

remus: what the fuck

when remus manages to calm sirius down, he explains that yes, this is james boat, he just lent it to him because he went on a date with his boyfriend, yes, said boyfriend does look like sirius, but he's only seen him with two legs which sirius definitely lacks, so there's that. then he also says he would really appreciate if sirius could bring back the book he was reading before being rudely flipped over by a sea creature, thanks.

sirius kinda falls in love immediately, there's something so hot about that human that didn't even bat an eye at seeing a merman and just straight asked for his book.

for my sake, sirius already knows how to speak the human language bc regulus has been teaching him as well

so sirius brings back the book, which is ruined, but at least it's back, and then forces remus to wait so he could take him to regulus

when sirius has 2 legs, remus has the sudden realization that his best friend is dating a merman, which in his opinion is something you should at least mention to your best friend u know?

so yeah, they both go to yell at them.

and if sirius pretends his legs are weaker than they actually are just so remus has to hold him all the way, that's HIS business

god this is so long now

anyways, when they find jegulus, it's chaotic, there's yelling (remus) and very angry clicking (sirius) and they are definitely receiving odd looks from everyone

it's the best way to present your mate to you brother if you ask regulus.

something something, they figure it out, james officiates his relationship with reg and builds a house close by the shore that has an inside aquarium but like, all over the house and it kinda connects with the sea, so regulus can still be a merman whenever he likes.

when james finds out it was actually regulus the one who catched the fish for him, he just falls more in love with him. so they make it a routine to go fishing together, it's romantic!

and just for my own sake, james does end up fucking a merman i guess, they have little mermaid kids and live happily ever after bye