#SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME 15 BILLION YEARS I COULD NOT FIGURE OUT FOR THE LIFE OF ME HOW TO COLOR THE GLASS

[crazymecjc]

once more, with feeling.

(fanart for @kristalliankka’s fantastic fic, an iterative approach! go check out the whole trilogy of works, they’re so incredibly good)

[bloodgulchblog]

Okay okay okay okay. I will dump a list of thoughts and feelings here:

good god rvb get better jokes, a couple were still pretty good but woof. the "you guys are so predictable i could leave a prerecorded message" bit was incredibly stale and i felt like the zoom call joke went on for 15 years.

red team's interactions in the early part of this while sarge is still there are so rote, man.

yes caboose's voice is different, i was curious about how they were going to handle that. (there was a falling out with the old guy, i mostly just know he said some shit during the george floyd protests but looking it up it sounds like something had happened earlier and he'd been laid off in 2019.)

fascinated that sarge's death stuck, but i've always thought grif and simmons without sarge was interesting, so. why not. i feel like with red team especially here, the whole point is that life moves on? this is very much a "you grow up and move on from the things you loved when you were young" kind of story and sarge is one of the most big goofy cartoon parts of the show, so ending him and having grif and simmons figure out how to move on from him has meaning i guess. the older people who shaped your world inevitably pass out of it. not to give rvb too much credit, but hey.

poor tucker, but i still think maybe having an incredibly angsty unexplored subplot might be better than having to spend 2 seasons having all his character growth dissolved away in favor of absent father jokes and whatever the fuck all that shit was in 16

live commentary on the whole thing with red team acting like they were abandoning caboose and then coming back to help him:

also this:

simmons you poor nerd i'm sorry it took all the way to here to give you anything, wasn't expecting this to be a good season for simmons of all people but at least he got something.

THE REAL CURVEBALL WAS I NEVER EXPECTED THEM TO GET KATHLEEN ZUELCH TO REPRISE TEX EVER AGAIN, i was going to make a crack about how tex getting a better ending would've never been on my bingo card in a billion years but i'm actually not sure this counts because i never cared about chex enough to think about it that hard. raincheck.

tex protecting carolina is nothing but it's also everything.

i'm stupid and missed that doc was dead for a while holy shit that's actually really sad and on the one hand oof, but on the other hand i love really sad things. fuck.

restoration donut only coming back for one last stupid fucking gay joke in an aside vs season 17 centering donut and how he was always such a neglected character. hmm. hmmmmm. hmmmmmmmmm.

it's sad wash wasn't there more, but i really did love "wash throws himself off a cliff to intentionally injure himself and summon carolina instead of contacting her in a more normal way" for him.

and i love that if something bad happens to wash carolina will come down on whatever it is like a hammer from orbit. at the very least, it made me so happy to have it reinforced one last time how much those two mean to one another before the end. after everything i enjoy a moment of them being okay.

overall i do think the group splitting up in pieces feels better to me than them all living together in a big weird codependent cluster forever, it feels like a braver and more true ending, but it's one of those things where season 17 was so much better at thinking about the inner lives of a bunch of characters that it's hard for me to say this is clearly better without reservation in all areas. like, sometimes people matter to you intensely for a big chunk of your life but then you have to move on. and fuck, maybe that's not even forever, but i feel good about grif getting to finally go home and i feel good about grif and simmons saying goodbye to one another and trying to be normal about it. let them have some space from one another. they need space to decide who they are with this part of their lives being over.

nothing they did here can stop me from shipping that and i can very easily fanfic out an ending for them in my brain from this. i'm fine. i'm thriving.

POOR POOR TUCKER, please hug tucker, he has to be going through so much right now.

i wonder if locus, somewhere out there, feels like he dodged a bullet and doesn't know why. (i wish he'd had to deal with red team one last time)

idk i probably have more thoughts kicking around feel free to talk to me i've been so insane about this for so long it's my oldest brainrot-

[lea-heartscxiv]

15 OC Questions!

I was tagged by @van-yangyin, thank you so much for tagging me!

Among so many sims that @van-yangyin and I have created, this time I'll choose Icaro D'Angelo from our "save" IcarRyu, since last time I chose one of our sims from our "save" JAKK. (Although it doesn't really go for separate saves since they coexist in the same savefile, but it's to understand me better).

My name is Icaro d'Angelo, nice to meet you or as they say in my place of origin: Piacere di conoscerti.

Well, let's start with the questions and see how I answer them.

1. Are you named after anyone?

My parents wanted to continue the tradition of naming their first child after my nonno (grandpa), since my uncle Luca skipped this tradition. But my paternal nonno (grandpa), Alessandro, had enough of that and said: Non più Alessandro [No more Alessandro!]

This anecdote is always told by mom, saying me: Your grandfather Alessandro shouted it in the hospital while he was visiting you for the first time.

Dad started thinking about my name, poor him, he thought had my name all figured out. Mom and grandparents (my paternal grandfather and my maternal grandfather) were talking and came up with three names, and at the end it was nonna (grandma) [my paternal grandmother] who gave my name, saying these words: Questo piccolo cherubino si chiamerà Icaro d'Angelo. [This little cherub will be called Icaro d'Angelo].

My father could not say anything, as he never disagreed with my grandparents, although he only wished that I wasn't stupid, as he said Icarus of Greek mythology was.

When I was 5 years old I asked my nonna (grandma) why she gave me that name and she told me: Perché dal momento in cui ti ho visto so che saresti stato curioso e saresti volato alto, ma con cautela. [Because from the moment I saw you I know you were going to be curious and fly high, but with caution].

Me: So it wasn't because you thought I was dumb?

She that day touched my head and said would talk very seriously with my father, in the afternoon I heard a few screams from nonna (grandma) and dad asking for forgiveness.

Also from that day on Dad never said anything to me again about the story of Icarus and how silly he was.

And that is the story of my name and who gave it to me.

Sorry maybe this doesn't interest you but I had to write it:

They say that there is a star called MACS J1149+2223 Lensed Star 1 that is more than nine billion light years away from Earth, that they nicknamed it with my name, well with the name of the mythological character in his honor and that has never been photographed, so I wonder: How do they know it exists if they haven't been able to photograph it?

I feel this, sometimes I write my own thoughts, something that not everyone likes, as they say that they are things that are not asked of me.

2. When was the last time you cried?

The last time I cried was when Orion my best friend and with whom I shared many getaways and outings, took her last trip to the stars.

I miss her licking and her soft fur, but I know that she's protecting me from her constellation, I know that wherever I go she can see me.

Since I was little she has always accompanied me, and we have always slept together, in winter it was a good blanket, in summer it was very hot but I relaxed sleeping with her, so I knew I wasn't alone in that big room.

3. Do you have any kids?

I don't have any kids, but as if I do since I have two little brothers and sometimes when my father goes for a week or two to work abroad and my mother accompanies him, I'm left in charge of them, I'm lucky that sometimes Ryuuya comes to help me, I haven't told you anything but Ryuuya is my best friend, my schoolmate, my neighbor and my boyfriend (it makes me tingle when I say that word).

When we go to college, Ryuuya and I will go to a house or apartment to live without our parents.

My parents and Ryuuya's parents are so called helicopter parents.

4. Do you use sarcasm?

I don't know what sarcasm is, rather I don't know how to use it and I don't understand it, I looked it up once on the internet, but I don't understand it.

I mean, why do people say those phrases if they really don't mean it but the opposite? Why can't they say it clearly?

This example I'm going to write is taken from the internet

Example, they don't want to be talked to because they say: Talk to the hand.

They couldn't say: I'm not interested in what you say, don't talk to me.

It's easier for Ryuuya and me to understand the latter than the former.

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

The hands if are visible, but the lips because that's where I look when I talk to someone to look "normal"' and make them think I'm looking their eyes.

6. What's your eye color?

My eye color is normal in my family, although they say I have beautiful light blue eyes, lighter than my family's eyes.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Scary movies, I like scary movies a lot especially watching them with Ryuuya, it's a lot of fun because we start making theories and the things that the main characters should do to not be in that situation. Sometimes we also watch it with Marena who is my cousin, she likes the romance ones, but she doesn't like to watch them with us because she says we break the ending for her.

Besides, happy endings look very unrealistic, since it doesn't always end well outside of the movies.

8. Any special talents? Special talents? Talent?

My special talent? Mmmh… I really like astronomy and mythology, but I think my talents are photography and painting.

9. Where were you born?

I was born in Tartosa, where you can see beautiful stars, because there are never lights that break the peace of a starry sky. But where we live now, I have to wait for a blackout or go far away to the countryside to be able to see the constellations.

That's why every summer when there's camp, I like to sign up and drag Ryuuya and my cousin along with me.

By the way I now live in Evergreen Harvor, the only nice thing there is Ryuuya and my room.

Before I lived in a big house, with a big room, I'm not going to say I didn't like it but sometimes it was too big for me, the room I have now is cozier and more comfortable, the only thing I miss from the other one is the constellation sky that dad had made, following the constellation map I made for him, and the balcony I had in my room, where I could look from a small telescope I had, the stars.

Dad had the idea of saying that we were going to live in an apartment like the working class people lived in, and that's what we did.

Although I must say something, when Dad said the word move, I thought I was the one who was going to move to an apartment alone… but Dad and Mom said I was too young to live alone, and I gave them many good reasons why I should live alone, but they said no, and they got angry.

10. What are your hobbies?

My hobbies are Astronomy, Mythology, Photography and Music.

Astronomy I can only practice it when the weather and lights let me, but I can always talk and write about it.

Mythology I love, all kinds of mythology, not only Roman and Greek (although those two are my forte).

Photography is one thing I always do since I always carry my camera with me, the camera was a gift from nonna Celestine (my grandmother Celestine), she gave it to me when I turned 4 years old, and I haven't stopped taking pictures since that day.

I love music and yes, I'm a classic, I really like the Spanish guitar, I don't like the electric guitar, the Spanish guitar has a special melody, more natural and more beautiful, at least for me. By the way, we have a musical group.

11. Have any pets?

No, in the apartments we live in we aren't allowed to have pets, but when Ryuuya and I go to live in a place where we' a're surrounded by countryside I will have many dogs and a cat…. well two, with Ryuuya, I think he's the reincarnation of a cat. My nonna Celestine has a very nice and quiet cat, maybe too quiet. She also has a dog just like Orion, and that's because he's one of Orion's children, since she was mom and grandma.

I used to have Orion as I said above, she was my best friend and only friend, since I used to do home school, but I'll explain that another day, assuming you are interested of course.

Sorry, I'll continue with Orion. She was an Australian Shepherd, for me was the most beautiful of all, was smart, learned things very fast, and my mother told me that since I was born and we went home, she never left my side for a moment, I must also say that she liked to run a lot and when I went jogging Orion went out with me, some nights we would escape and we would both go to see the constellations or the full moon that looked beautiful from the beach of Tartosa.

12. What sports do you play/have played?

I have 3 favorite sports but none of them are played at school, during the summer surfing, during the winter snowboarding and all year round skateboarding.

Yes, as you can see all 3 sports are board sports, I don't like anything to do with balls, not even ping pong balls.

13. How tall are you?

My height is 185 cm/6' 1".

14. Favorite subject in school?

If there was astronomy it would be that one, but since it doesn't exist, I would say Art and Music.

15. Dream Job?

My dream job would be to be an astronaut but I don't want to be away from Ryuuya and I want to have a dog, and in space for now you can't have them.

So my second dream job is to be a private investigator, so I could be close to Ryuuya and have a dog to be my work and adventure partner.

My parents want me to work in whatever motivates me, except for what my uncle Luca works in, I don't know what he works in but my father says he is involved in weird business.

✨✨✨✨

I am shy and a disaster to communicate with people, I will leave a notice that NOBODY is forced to do it, do it only if you feel like doing it, clarified that, I will tag: @simsfurr ,@mocham-sims ,@simsjerry , @freedomending(Hi, nice to meet you. As Van said you can do it about any of your system members if you want, if it doesn't make you uncomfortable of course, if it's rude then please ignore my tag 🙇💦), @kyou-sims4, @fuku0330, @bnt0,

Also anyone who wants to do so and is not tagged.

What I would like is that you tag me to know more about your OCs.

[laurie-stark]

Get up and get out

Summary: Sort of part two to Unwanted. A year after fighting in Germany, y/n has to deal with the insufferable Peter Parker being around the house all the time. 

Pairings: Peter Parker x stark!reader, tony stark x daughter!reader, Natasha Romanoff x daughter!reader. 

Warnings: swearing, angst? i guess? mentions of blood. mentions of panic nightmares 

A/N: Again, I want to make it very clear so there isn’t any confusion: Y/n is Tony’s biological child, however, being raised also by Natasha, Steve and Pepper, she calls them Muma, Pops and Mom. Hopefully that makes sense LOL oh and also i’ve never written like...kiss scenes before so just go with it okay?

He was here again. Third time this week that he has come barging into my home and taken over my training center. Okay, to be fair, it was not my training center but still. Peter Parker will never stop being a pain in my ass. Ever since that stupid trip to Germany, he has been coming over and training for hours, or working with Dad. Three times just this week I’ve had to endure listening to Peter talk with his stupid little voice and walk around my house like he owns the place. Who does he think he is? And every time I have to sit through another dinner of Dad blabbing on and on about what a miraculous boy he is.

               “Really y/n, I think you two would be great friends,” I rolled my eyes as I picked at my dinner. The rest of the family ate in silence around the table. The last thing I wanted to do is spend more time with stupid Spider-boy. On the afternoons when he was here, I tried my best to stay out of his way. I would stay on my floor and he stays on his. Simple. I don’t need a new friend.

“…And he’s coming by again tomorrow, so I was thinking of showing him A.P.R.I.L. if you wanted to join us-” Dad continued.

What the hell? I thought. “No!” I snapped. “No way. A.P.R.I.L. is mine, I don’t want him messing with her.” Dad frowned at me. The rest of the table looked up in my direction. My shoulders tensed up as I faced my father. A.P.R.I.L. is my baby and I was ready to go toe to toe with him if I needed too.

“What do you mean no? I thought you’d be excited to share that with him,” he started.

“Well I’m not, so back off,” I sneered. The shift in his expression made me want to bite my own tongue. “Please.”

“I seriously do not understand what your problem is. You’ve been complaining for years how there’s only adults but the second a kid your age comes by you’re all “oooh no don’t talk to me Peter!””

I scoffed. “Sorry, I guess I just don’t want to bother you and your new best friend.”

“There it is. Why are you so jealous of him? He’s not that cool. He hasn’t made a fully functioning A.I at the age of 15. He just spits sticky stuff out of his fingers. Honestly y/n, you’re making zero sense right now.”

“Whatever, I’m over this,” I said, pushing my chair back from the table. I grabbed my untouched dinner plate and headed towards the kitchen. “I’m not hungry. And don’t show him A.P.R.I.L., I mean it!” I dumped my plate in the sink and marched right down the hall towards the elevators. My dad was right. I wasn’t making any sense. Ever since I made A.P.R.I.L I’ve used every excuse I could find to shove her down people’s throats. Anyone who would listen to me, I would tell them. Tell them all about how I programmed her to have realistic personality. How she’s running through the walls of this place, through my room, even inside the bracelet I never take off. All I knew is that I didn’t want Peter Parker anywhere near her.

I shut the door to my hard, and flopped onto my bed. A.P.R.I.L. reminded me that slamming the doors usually results in a punishment. I acknowledged her with a half-hearted grunt. I started programming A.P.R.I.L. when I was thirteen. Or rather, reprogrammed. A.P.R.I.L. was made from an older prototype version of F.R.I.D.A.Y. The base stuff was already there, I just moved some things here, recoded there until she was perfect. I don’t know why I got so defensive about Peter meeting her. Or why I had to pick another fight with my dad.

It was easier these days. To fight him, I mean. I suppose I never got over the whole “Peter is better, I choose him over you, blah, blah” thing as much as I thought I did. So, I would pick fights. Fighting over Peter was the simplest way to go, considering he was the reason I was so angry in the first place. Sometimes we would fight over him, other times we would fight over silly things. Like how I keep forgetting not to put my coffee grounds in the garbage disposal. Most of the time it was all just bickering that would blow over in thirty minutes, give or take. Sometimes it was explosive, like today.  I took in a shaky breath and sprawled out across my sheets. Sometimes this family is a fucking nightmare.

Dad didn’t come by this time. It threw me off for a second because he always comes by. Even if it’s six hours later and neither of us should be awake, he still comes by with a box of milk duds that we share in silence before one of us apologizes first. That’s how we work. When it finally sunk in that he was not planning on coming, I put A.P.R.I.L. on the job. I figured perhaps he left the compound, maybe took Mom for a nighttime stroll.

“Your father is on floor B, Miss Stark,” A.P.R.I.L. informed me.

“Jesus A.P.R.I.L., how many times have I said to cut the formalities,” I muttered.

“My apologies, y/n.”

Floor B. What the hell is he doing on floor B at…12:00 in the morning? Floor B is strictly for members of household and other Avengers. There are a billion different training rooms down there. Weight rooms, boxing, a huge pool, stuff like that. Not to taint his image, but I can safely say the last time my father willingly worked out for fun was probably before I was even born. Why was he down there? Unless…

“A.P.R.I.L. who else is on floor B right now?” I asked. “Throw it on the hologram, would you dear?

The sounds of the hologram starting filled the room. A.P.R.I.L. pulled up the security map of floor B, like I’d asked. There was my dad, floor B in the boxing room of all places. Pops and Sam looked to be going at it in another one of the combat training rooms. My confusion only rose when another nametag popped up on the screen. My brows furrowed.

Peter Parker

What was he doing here? Why was he boxing? Why was he not in his own home at midnight on a Thursday? My mind was spinning with questions. A knock at my door startled me.

“Come in…”

Natasha popped her head through the doorway. “Hey there…whatcha doing kid?”

I swiftly swiped away the hologram screen and sat up straight. “Nothing. What’s up?”

“Well, we’re getting a little worried about you,” she said. We being everyone else at the table who had to witness my brawl with Dad. She sat down beside me. “You haven’t fought back like that in a long time and I’ve noticed you’re fighting with him a lot recently. You want to tell me what that’s all about?”

I wanted too. God, I wanted too. I hadn’t told anyone what my father said to me that day after the airport, not even my mom. But it didn’t matter. I’d get over it sooner or later, so there was no point troubling anyone else with my problems…right? My eyes started to well up but I blinked away the tears. “No. Everything’s fine,” I put on a smile.

Natasha tucked me in under her arm. “Okay then. Maybe tomorrow.” That was Muma for you. She never pushed me to talk but knew I would come around at some point. In the meantime, she just held me. I cried into her embrace. She let me cry into her shoulder for a long while, until I was empty. After a time, I let go and she got up, giving me a kiss on the head before wishing me a good night.

I rubbed my hands over my face, brushing off any remaining tears. “A.P.R.I.L. bring the hologram back up please.”

“Are you sure y/n?”

…

“Yeah.”

Peter was still in the boxing room but my father was not. Upon further digging, I found the nametag reading Tony Stark on my floor. He’d gone to bed. I pondered to myself as to whether or not I should venture downstairs. What is the worst thing that could happen? Peter is secretly a Hydra spy and kills me? No, I shook my head. Don’t be ridiculous. Another minute passed and I’d made up my mind.

“A.P.R.I.L. engage “I am definitely here”,” I commanded.

“”I am definitely here” protocol engaged. Volume minimized to 5% and your tracking tag will be pinned to this room,” A.P.R.I.L. responded. “Good luck on your mission small agent.”

“Oh shut up,” I chided. I closed the door to my room as softly as I could. It was nearly one in the morning, most of the hall would be asleep. Or at least they should be. The hallway was silent, except for the soft noise of my socks padding along the floor. I cursed myself for looking so ridiculous. If anyone caught me, I could easily say that I was just getting a midnight snack. Not sneaking down to spy on Spider-bitch. Boy. Whatever. Sneaking added to the excitement.

I made it downstairs all in one piece. Steve and Sam nearly passed me in one of the halls, but I had ducked into a briefing room. I could totally be a spy. Maybe I’m a Hydra spy. I thought. And they sent me here as a baby to take down the Avengers from the inside. What was I going on about? This was why I should really be in bed, I was clearly delirious. Once again, distracting myself in my thoughts led to me getting startled. I hadn’t even realized I was outside the boxing room. I would have walked right in if not for the handy wall that I smacked into.

Peter was in the ring, practicing his punches. He’d lowered down one of the punching bags from the ceiling and it was close to ripping at the seams. He was really going ham on it. The questions piled on. So, he came over to my house at midnight to…train? Something he had all afternoon today to do? God, he was weird. I suppose I didn’t quite know what I was going to get myself into when I finally walked in to confront him.

“What are you doing?” I asked, arms folded tightly across my chest.

Peter started and looked down at me. Sweat was dripping down his face. He looked exhausted. “Training,” he said bluntly. He returned to treating the punching bag like it had run over his dog.

“At one in the morning? And after you spent like six hours today doing just that?” I was not letting him off that easy. Peter ignored me and continued punching. “Your form is shit.” I mocked.

That made him stop. “Funny coming from the girl who never leaves her room. When have you ever trained? Like ever?”

“I still beat your ass.”

“Yeah like, a year ago when I was barely an avenger.”

I rolled my eyes. “You still aren’t.”

“What do you want?” Peter spat.

I shrugged. “Dunno.” I stared him down with a smug look on my face.

“You are always such a bitch, you know that?”

I faked a pout. “Aw…bite me.”

Peter was chewing the inside of his cheek in anger. “If you’re going to stay here and pester me, you might as well get a few punches in.”

“And why would I do that?”

“Consider it a rematch.”

I studied his physique for a moment. He’d grown a lot since Germany. He’d also trained a lot since then as well. I had done little of either. I knew that entering that ring would probably end up with me losing my dignity and maybe even a tooth. But I was not going to let him stand there with his stupid, sweaty face and get away with it. This is not a good idea, I thought as I took off my socks. I moved the ropes and stepped into the ring, standing a foot in front of the boy.

“I’ll still win.”

“No powers either.”

“Deal.” Not like I’ve touched my powers since…since the incident.

Peter took his stance and I did my best to mirror him. I realized in that moment that I had no idea what I was doing. I didn’t know the first thing about boxing. Or sparring. I didn’t know how to fight without my powers. Oh, sweet Jesus.

We kept our distance at first, fists up. He threw a few punches and missed. I followed in suit. I finally got the first hit, a nice throw to his chest. He took it like a champ and didn’t flinch. Or rather, I couldn’t hit for shit and it didn’t hurt. He threw a punch to my left, only to miss on purpose and punched me square across my jaw. Ow. I chuckled lowly. The taste of blood filled my mouth from the fresh cut on my lip. I wiped the back of my hand across my mouth. All I could see was white rage.

Forget form, forget rules, forget everything. I lunged at him with everything I had. Lunged at him for all the bullshit he had brought into my life. For all the bitter things I had to hear my father say that weren’t even Peter’s fault. He was clearly not expecting my attack because we both fell to the ground. We fought tirelessly on the mat. He was physically stronger than me, so by default he was winning. He wrestled me until I was pinned under him. One hand was pinning my hand above my head, the other arm pinning down my body. In any other circumstances I would be amused to find myself in such a scandal. I looked in his eyes briefly and I could already tell he thought that he was winning. If there’s one thing I learned from Nat, it’s to always step on their moment. I hooked my leg around his knee and used all my force to flip us over. I had him pinned down now, my hair falling around my face. We were both breathing heavily.

“Told you,” I taunted. I was mentally preparing him to punch back but he didn’t. He snapped his arms out from under me and shoved me off him, hard. I fell back against the mat. He rose to his feet, brushing his hands off on his pants. “What the hell?” I exclaimed. I jumped to my feet while his back was turned to me and gave him a taste of his own medicine. He stumbled a few steps after I pushed him. Slowly, he stretched back up to reach his full height.

“You’re right,” he turned to face me and extended a hand. “Shake on the truce?” I took his hand, accepting his surrender. Only, he was not really surrendering. The moment my hand touched his, he yanked me towards him. I tripped over my feet and fell into him. My chest crashed onto his. The world was a blur as he grabbed me with force and spun us around, so he could push me up against the ropes of the ring.

“Stop, Peter get off me you bitch!” I fought back. I flailed my whole body around, trying to break loose. One hand reached up to grab the back of my head, pulling my hair and forcing my head back. I froze. His face was dangerously close to my exposed neck. His shift let my opposite arm break free. I took a breathe and reeled it back, ready to smack him in the across the face. He caught my wrist in time without taking his eyes off mine.

He lowered his head to whisper in my ear, “I win.” His breathe trickled down my neck. He had won, but he wasn’t moving. One hand was still in my hair, the other was pinning me against the ropes. His chest breathed heavily against my own. His grip on my head loosened slightly and I was able to look him straight on. He had that same smug look pasted across his face. His eyes moved from mine, trailing down my face, my neck, my body, before they settled on my lips. I momentarily lost the ability to breathe.

He kissed me hard. I tensed up slightly before giving into him completely. It tasted like blood and sweat and I felt like I was losing my mind. He pulled me closer, if that was even possible and claimed my mouth with his until my knees gave out. A newfound wave of warm washed through me. The hand in my hair gave a slight tug and my lips parted while that same hand moved to cup my jaw. For all I knew, the entire compound was wide awake and watching but I did not care. I brought my fingers to his hair, tugging at the ends. I smiled cunningly when he groaned into my mouth. He kissed me greedily and fully. Like he hated me. And I hated him.

We broke apart, limbs numb and chests heaving. The moment had passed, and our actions sunk in. What. The. Fuck. He lifted the ropes for me, and I climbed out of the ring. My head was still spinning from that kiss and my lip stung. Consequences I suppose, for kissing someone with a busted lip. I silently pulled my socks back on and Peter handed me a towel. Neither of us said another word. I left the room and didn’t look back. I could hear him behind me, but I was in no rush to have to look him in the eye ever again. What just happened?

 I woke the next morning to A.P.R.I.L. alerting me that “Father Dearest” was outside my door. He came in and sat on the edge of the bed. We both stayed quiet for a while.

I spoke first. “Where were you last night? You didn’t come by after…” I let my words trail off.

“I was going to, I swear. But then something came up with Peter and I had to go take care of that,” Dad answered.

I frowned. “Typical. Peter over your own flesh and blood, right?”

Dad inhaled sharply like he was going to bite back, but changed his mind. “That’s not true and you know it. Peter is…he’s going through something and I knew how to help him. Not everything is about you, you narcissist,” He said, joking at the end.

I had to push down my own smile. “Yeah well where do you think I got it from?” I sat up and leaned into my father. He brushed a hand down my back. “So, what’s wrong with Peter then?”

“I really shouldn’t tell you, it’s personal.” I looked up at him with my doe eyes. He rolled his eyes and sighed, nodding a silent defeat. I felt like I was nine again and he was gossiping with me about the latest secretary. Like every fight had been forgotten in this moment. “He’s been having some nightmares ever since DC. You remember the ones we used to get after Loki?” I nodded. “Now you, you always amazed me at how you handled those. But for me and Peter, we needed a different outlet. So, I let him come over in the middle of the night. I didn’t think anyone would notice.” I hummed in response, not sure what to make of that information. I mean, I kind of felt bad for the guy. He was still a bitch, but those dreams suck. No one should have to deal with them. “He really isn’t as bad as you think, you know.”

“Yeah,” I hummed. “I think you’re right.”

tag list:

@runawayolives @ creation-magician @ eridanuswave @ markhyucksmells @ beep-beep-losersclub

[sonder-paradise]

Yesssss T^T We need to give Atsushi more love and I am so sorry this took two billion years-

15. “I’m okay. You’re okay. We’re okay.”

Silence initially filled the apartment. You set the grocery bags on the counter beside you. The ingredients inside had been specifically for Atsushi. A sort of surprise for your sweet boyfriend, who seemed to have been feeling down as of late. But as you stared at the dimly lit room, there didn't seem to be anyone here anymore.

You swore that Atsushi had been napping when you left. The Weretiger's favorite time to sleep has been the sunny and warm afternoon underneath the delicate rays of sunlight that seeped in through the window blinds. However, today, the rain greeted Atsushi instead. Though that didn't stop him from curling up into his usual tight ball to sleep. You didn't question anything. It was normal behavior for him for the most part and that was all.

But staring out into the room, you weren't greeted with the sight of his body huddled up underneath the covers where you have last left him. Outside, the rain seemed to pick up and you flinched when a loud crash of ferocious thunder reverberated around the apartment. It hadn't been thundering for long and you have managed to get back just before it started raining heavily too. But what caught your attention after the thunder was the sound of a muffled thud from the closet.

Cautiously going over to the closet, you nestled your fingers in between the small gap meant to open and close it before pulling the door open. You weren't sure what sight you were preparing yourself for but you immediately realized why Atsushi wasn't underneath the covers as before.

The young man had tucked in his knees to his chest, violet-amber eyes shut tight while his hands were covering his ears and the top of his head. Though his eyes were closed, you could distinctly see prickles of tears at the corners. Silence filled the room as you attempted to figure out how to assist him. But he seemed to realize that he was no longer alone in his strange huddled form.

Slowly, his eyes opened and he looked up with a shaky smile. The tears didn't once move away, and you could tell that he was still beyond terrified of the thoughts in his mind.

"Welcome... back," he greeted softly. His voice tremored like the broken surface of a pond and he smiled like glass. In that instant, a thunderous flash of lightning crashed at the window and Atsushi shrank back into his ball once more.

You stared at him before extending a hand out. You were unsure how to assist him and wary that touching or holding him would make it worse. There was something that had been bothering him recently and with the aggressive rainfall from outside, it seemed to have triggered the memories he had been hiding away. "Atsushi... I'm right here. I promise I'm not leaving... not unless you want me to."

Once again, Atsushi looked up with that same fragile look. There were times that you had forgotten the background that he came from and it was likely that there was something about the rain that made the horrid, torturous memories resurge.

"Nightmare" was all he mumbled as he loosened the ball somewhat to allow you to hold him. You shifted, wrapping your arms around him and squeezing his body as tightly as he would permit. You didn't need to know what it was that plagued him. Not unless he would tell you himself. There were times that you wished that he would tell more, but that was another comment for another time. For now, you stroked his hair lightly. The rather soft and familiar scent of his soap was still present and your relished the way that his form no longer trembled like a leaf.

He seemed much calmer in your arms and when the bright flashes of lightning appeared, he merely shut his eyes tight and buried his face deeper into your arms. Whatever it was he was going through, you would sit and stay through it.

"I’m okay. You’re okay. We’re okay." You paused, waiting to see if he would react. But he said nothing, squirming in your grasp before getting comfortable once more. A small mumbled "thank you" appeared before it went silent once more.

Eventually, the rain outside and the thunder faded away into the night and as you looked down at Atsushi, his expression was much more comfortable and serene. His eyes were closed softly and his breathing was even once more. You smiled faintly, stroking some of the loose messy bangs he had out of his eyes before pressing a kiss onto his head.

He was back in a peaceful state of mind and from the way he didn't stir again, you knew he was sleeping once more.

[mightynonagesimus]

15 Minutes (What If I Told You)

ANGST WITH AN UNHAPPY ENDING. DO NOT READ FOR A GOOD TIME. This is a supercorp oneshot I wrote after I hear the title song. Very Angsty, you are warned. Trigger Warning : Angst, mentions of suicidal thoughts, depression, MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH. Obiviously. This is pre-apocalypse.

11:27,

Monday, July 13th

Lena's Loft,

National City.

It was very unnoticeable at first. Solar flares from a nearby galaxy far enough that they didn't think much of it. A few explosions a couple galaxies down hardly warranted the DEO's involvement. Besides, Earth had different things to worry about. The Team had different things to worry about. Probably. Lena wouldn't know anymore, would she? After the Fortress, she had taken extra precautions to block every single one of them out of her life. She didn't need anyone. She just needed to save the world.

And to be honest? Lena was ashamed it took her that long to figure it out. It wasn't like her. The  Prodigy of her generation. The CEO of one of the biggest Tech Corporations in America. The sister of Earth's most infamous criminal mastermind.

If she had just gotten out of bed, checked any of her projects, called her secretary back. But she was too numb, too empty. Lying in bed, unable to move or think. Wishing to die. She couldn't even muster up the energy to lift a hand, it was just... pathetic.

After a week, Jess had had enough. It took Sam flying over from Metropolis to even get Lena out of bed. Sam had no idea about Kara, of course. But it didn't take long for her to march over to Alex's apartment and threaten her friend until the truth spilled. Lena had never seen that furious. Over Lena, of all people.

She didn't deserve Sam.

***

Sam had been pestering her all week. Bringing over food and staying with her every night. Lena felt like an asshole, taking up so much of her time. That was the main reason she returned to L-Corp after a week That was when she found out about the satellite malfunctions. Some radioactive signature was messing with their signals. That was fine, this was a problem Lena could fix, right? Easy.

Wrong. Turns out the signature was something her systems could recognize. Kryptonite. A giant chunky piece of Kryptonite and debris about the size of a small moon. A Krypto-Comet that was hurtling at half the speed of light from deep space, directly towards Earth.

Mondays, right?

Of course, she contacted the DEO immediately. They were horrified. For a Secret Government Agency handling the extraterrestrial, they had some shockingly bad tech. She wasn't really surprised.  Also, they might have been slightly distracted with Leviathan. Lena had spent the next three days cooped up in a lab with Brainiac 5 desperately trying to come up with a way to deflect it or destroy it, or anything really. Usually, an Anti-Kryptonite suit and Supergirl would have taken care of the problem real quick, but considering the size of the comet and the excessive amount of Kryptonite on it, it just wouldn't be possible. There was no time to call for back-up from Argo City either, with the satellites malfunctioning.

The last five days were utter chaos. Naturally, the news hit the public hard. It was pandemonium, but how could you keep a goddamn meteorite impact from them? The skies were already turning purple.

Lena however, was still in her lab. Over the course of three days, a complete whirlwind of people checked in and out of her lab. People she had never met before. People she had never even heard of. Cisco Ramon, Caitlin Snow. A scientist named Raymond Palmer with some very interesting ideas on molecular structure and shrinkage. Felicity Smoak. Alex pulled her aside during lunch to explain about the Multiverse.

What. Even. What.

Okay.

It felt like her brain was exploding, but she was their best chance of saving the planet. She had to pull it together. She can't show any weakness.

Alex called for another excruciating meeting the second day.

"Attention! I have some news." Alex exhaled slowly. "Sara?"

"I'm sorry guys, but it's bad. We were unable to prevent this event from not occurring. It happens rarely, but this can't be prevented by modifying the timeline. It's inevitable. We have to find other ways."

"What if we move your population to our Earth?" Harry? Larry? The guy in red spandex asked.

"More than half out Earth's population have doppelgangers in yours. It will mess with the balance of your universe. We can't move them. How about finding an empty universe?"

"Kara is out looking for one, but every Earth we found was either ruined or full. That's too long a shot, I don't think we'll find one in time."

"Well, theoretically-" Brainy hesitated - "My ancestors had a way of...dealing with planets that disagreed with them. They would shrink them down and have them as trophies."

"We can't shrink the planet, the gravitation of the solar system would collapse and we would fall into the sun." Lena muttered distractedly, fiddling with her pen.

"Let's not do that. Any luck contacting Superman?"

"Radio silence. The radiation is messing with communications."

"We could push it through a wormhole, or a portal, but-"

"The comet will be here before we could begin to build it. What if we transport our people to a different planet?"

"Seven billion people on a different planet without nearly enough food and water?"

"Or maybe into a space station?"

"We have four days. To transport seven billion people. And essential items."

"Yeah, that's not gonna work either."

"Okay, let's keep at it guys." Alex clapped her hands together. "There IS a way, we just don't know it yet."

***

Yeah, there was no other way. The days went by in a whirl. They came up with theory after theory, but it was too late. Their world was going to end. Nothing can stop it.

During the last day, Alex ordered every non-Earth-38 person off the universe. And even though there was some resistance, everyone sombrely agreed it was the best move.

A surprising lot of friendships were made that week. World-ending threats tend to do that, apparently. Lena personally never wanted to experience Nia and Zari Tarazi try to cook a pizza together ever again. They almost blasted the dough halfway across the DEO building and into the miniature Nuclear Reactor.

Lena would never, not in a million years, ever admit it; but she wanted what they had.

She couldn't fathom that comfort, that mutual understanding of trust that Nia shared with Zari. How did they build it? How could they rely on it, when they had been strangers only a week ago? How could you share your secrets, yourself, with someone who could potentially turn against you, someone who could be lying through their teeth like Eve was, someone who might hate you just because of a name that you can't change?

Not that anything could be done now. It was too late.

They were gathered at the DEO training facility off-city to say their final goodbyes, except Lena was at L-Corp. It took her a while to accept it, but this time it was real. There was no hail mary, no high stake final masterplan left in her. She was going to die, along with her planet.

So it was the perfect time to break out her finest bottle of scotch.

The L-Corp building was deadly silent. Any other day, Lena would have enjoyed it. The building was almost never fully empty, with the security team and the journalists and the interns who never sleep. Today it put her on edge.

Because she did this. Lena caused all this, it was Lena's fault. She was the reason-

'Alex.'

The tiny blue screen lit up on her desk, ringing insistently. The tech mogul was almost relieved that something interrupted.

The silence. Interrupted the silence.

Lena brought it to her ear.

"Hello?"

"Lena!? Where the hell are you?" For a second, Lena relished the panic in Alex's voice. Of course, it probably was over the world ending, but she wanted to pretend that it was over Lena. That Alex actually cared about her.

"What do need me to do, Director Danvers?" Her voice was meant to be posh and clipped as always, but it came out slightly more drunk than she wanted it to.

"Wha-Nothing! I just couldn't find you anywhere so I thought I'd check up on you." Aww, Alex. You don't need to pretend, everything is gonna go to shit anyway.

"Is Sam still there?"

"Uh- Yes. Yeah, she's here. Do you want to talk to her?"

"Nooo." Lena considered it. "No, definitely not."

"Lena, are you drunk?"

Lena exhaled loudly. "Why did you call me, Director?"

"Because the universe is ending!" Lena cringed away from the phone. That was too loud for her sleep-deprived brain.

"I don't see your point." She huffed back.

"Goddammit. Look, Kara and I will keep looking for a solution, you don't need to worry, okay? You know she never gives up. Nia and the others-"

"Please just stop." Lena begged.

"I-Stop?" Lena could picture Alex's face. She hated that she did.

"I don't care! About anything, anymore. Just leave me alone. Goodbye, Alex."Sorry I pulled so much shit.

Lena switched it off and chucked it across the room, onto her couch. It bounced over the cushions and fell over.

She was alone, now.

"Hope?"

"Greetings, miss Luthor. What can I do for you today?" Hope was always here. Lena's only constant companion through everything. Even if it did wear the face of her traitor friend.

"You understand that this will be the last day?"

"Yes, miss Luthor-"

"Lena. Call me Lena."

The robot cocked its head to the side. Why did Lena program it so life-like?

"Lena. Would you like for me to call anyone else?"

"No, thank you. How long is it now?"

"Seventeen minutes and three seconds."

Lena cradled her head. It felt like her brain was swimming in the alcohol. At least she won't have to feel this tomorrow.

"Execute terminal orders and shut down, please."

"Executed. Goodbye, Miss Luthor."

The hologram blinked off. Lena swirled the last of the scotch in her glass. It didn't taste nearly as good as she hoped. She set it down in distaste.

God, this was all her doing, wasn't it?

If only Lex could see her now, pushing everyone away, alone and lonely on top of the empire that was built by her psychopathic family. Everything he said that day was true.

And it was all Lena's fault. Because she chose to trust Kara. She chose her new family. She wanted that. She craved that. Even when she knew she could never have it. She's always craved that. This wonderful 'family' she could love with all her heart. They would have been her people, they would love her no matter her last name. They would support her through hell and back. She fucking fantasized about how they would be there for her every birthday, about how she would shower them with love and affection, about game nights and road trips. She didn't give a shit about romantic, platonic, she just wanted someone to be there at the airport when she comes back from month-long expeditions through Europe.

It all seems so naive now. She was still here, on top of an empty building, because of her choices. Because of her stupid, stubborn pride. She must have chosen this, right? This is what she wanted. To be alone. Sixteen minutes from the world ending. She had chosen to be alone, bitter, angry at herself for doing what she had done.

Fuck, no.

But it was too late. Too late to accept her family, too late to enjoy them. Too late to save the world. Too late to apologize.

Too-fucking-late.

Fuuuuuuck, she messed up. What she wouldn't give to go back in time, find her younger self and...eughh. Berate her? Explain? Mug her? Lena had no idea.

This scotch tastes like shit.

Why is time so slow?

Tick.

Tock.

Her life is shit. She would like a refund.

Tick.

The alcohol is really getting to her brain, cause she found that funny.

Toc-

The entire floor rattled when the door flies open behind her. *

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" Oh hey, Sam. You did come.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" She crossed her arms, raising one brow at her CFO.

"Lena, no." Sam stomped over and wretched the glass away from Lena.

"Goddammit, leave me alone, Sam!" Why I am so shitty all the time Sam?

"No." She repeated firmly.

"What?"

"No. I should have done this a long time ago when I first got back here. I'm not leaving you alone, I'm not letting you drink yourself to death. I'm not let you wallow in your misery when the world is fucking ending and you still stubbornly refuse to put down your pride. I'm not leaving!"

She walked over to Lena's hidden break room and poured the scotch down the sink.

"But I-"

"No. Listen, you dumbass. You've been through some horrible, messed-up shit. Your brother almost destroyed the world multiple times. Your mother was a narcissistic fucking psychopath. I cannot even begin to understand how you feel most of the time. Having every move scrutinized by the world, feeling like you can't trust anyone."

"I trust you."

Sam paused. "I-What?"

"I trust you, Sam. You may be the only person who I can be myself around right now. And-And I know that isn't fair to you, me having constant breakdowns. I keep you from your life and Ruby and I hate it-"

"Lena!" Sam takes her hand. "You can always tell me about it. Everything. And I won't lie, helping you through your trauma isn't easy, especially since you refuse to meet a therapist. But that doesn't mean you can keep everything to yourself. It means that your pain, it matters to me. It is a piece of you that you have shared with me, and it isn't going to fucking evaporate the second I know about it. You matter. Your trauma matters. To me, and to everyone at the DEO. I want to help you." She inhaled deeply.

"And I can't promise that everything is going to be fine, I don't even know if we'll exist an hour from now, but I can tell you this. You don't deserve all this pain. That doesn't mean you don't have it. You are not responsible for what your family did, and you are not responsible for your mother's death. You don't deserve to die alone and at odds with everyone you love."

"Sam, but I-"

"And I'm sorry, I know Kara and the others messed up. But they love you. They are your family now. And I can't watch you punish yourself over this. Lena, it's time to let go."

Tears lined Lena's eyes. "I can't do it, Sam!"

"You can."

"I can't! I trusted Kara with everything. I shared every piece of me with her. Love and family were supposed to cure me! I made myself completely powerless, I was vulnerable, and she threw it back at my face. I cannot make that mistake again!"

"It's not fucking magic, Lena! Love isn't a cure-all. It doesn't mean everything bad that ever happened disappears! It only means that you aren't alone in your fight. Family and friendship, it  takes work! You have to see them, and they have to see you. And Kara and the others, they love you!"

"If they fucking love me so much, why do they keep hurting me? Why am I the only one who gets lied to?!"

"It not that fucking simple! Everyone there has their own stuff. We're fucking terrified all the time. And now everything we ever feared is happening, and we can't even fucking be together!"

"What, now you're on their side?!" Lena heard the words spill out her head as messily as she felt, drenched in bitterness and insecurity. "Should've known that you would turn on me too."

Regret fills her immediately, but Lena drops Sam's hand like a searing pan.

Fuck.

"How can you think that?" Sam's voice was quiet now. Her eyes, Lena realized, were also filled with tears.

This is it. This is the moment I chase away the last person who's ever cared for me. One last screw over that will be wiped after the comet hits. One more mistake in my endless list.

Sam raised her arms. Lena reflexively leaned back, her heart hammering against her chest. Shit. She knew how this goes. She's seen enough fights between Lillian and Lionel end. She could hear the resonating crack from almost two decades ago. Lionel might have loved Lena, but he wasn't all that kind to Lillian.

You deserve this. You failed. You failed to protect yourself,  failed to protect the universe. You are never going to be enough. You failed both your families, you failed yourself.

Warmth burst around her. Sam wrapped her arms around Lena.

What in the world... why was Sam hugging her?

Shit, this feels nice.

"Sam?"

"There are no sides, Lena. That's the whole point. You are a part of this family, and we will fight like hell to keep it that way." Sam stroked her hair. "We aren't perfect, we are flawed, we hurt each other. But we aren't alone. We love fiercely, and we have each other's back. We take care of our own. And you are one of us. We love you. We are here if you accept us."

Lena sniffled against Sam's shirt. A fierce rush of gratitude rushed through her. Sam has always been her rock, her constant for almost six years now. She's had her back so many times. Her best friend.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Sam." Lena sobbed. "Shit, it's too late. I can't fix everything. I messed up. I messed the whole thing up-"

"Hey. There's still time." Sam drew back and swiped at her eyes. "You can still call Alex. We have... seven minutes left."

Lena nodded, biting her lip.

"Thank you, Sam."

She shakily dialed her phone.

"Alex?"

***

"Hi! Aunt Lena!" A little bundle of joy crawled into Lena's lap and gave her a hug.

Ruby.  She always meant a lot to Lena. Maybe because Lena never really had an aunt while she grew up. Maybe because her hugs were made of pure love; because Ruby is the most wonderful little human Lena ever met. Maybe because there was no tension, no tears involved. Ruby felt like hugging Lena, so she did.

It was the first time Lena cracked a smile in over a year.

"Hello, little monkey. Did you eavesdrop our whole fight?" She mussed her hair.

"Hey! I'm fourteen now. Not so little anymore." She carefully flattened her hair down. "And I know what swear words are, Auntie."

"Do you, now?"

"Yes!" She huffed. "Mom said she's making Mac and Cheese. She said your fridge was full of atrocious rabbit fodder and she hid about seventy percent of your kale." Ruby's voice dropped low and she whispered conspiratorially. "It's behind the eggs, don't tell her said that. Not that we'd be needing it anymore." She glanced sadly at the red skies.

"Are you okay, little monkey?"

"Aunt Lena, is there really no way to destroy the comet?" Ruby asked her.

Lena's heart broke. At that moment, she would've given anything to be back in her lab three weeks ago when they first found the comet. To have found a way out of this catastrophe.

She smiled sadly at Ruby. "I'm sorry, monkey. There's nothing we can do."

How do you tell a child that you failed her, that the entire world was gonna burn? That they were all going to die?

"It's okay, Aunt Lena. I love you." She kissed Lena on the cheek.

The elevator bell dinged and Lena could hear the doors open with a hiss. Her's mouth got just a little dry.

"I'm going to go help mom with the cheese. You should talk to them."

"Wait, Ruby-" she was gone. Great.

Lena exhaled shakily and got to her feet.

Here goes. Oh god. Why did I do this? This is a bad idea, shit. Shit, shit, shit. They still hate me why did I call them, they- Alex.

It was Alex. Suddenly, it wasn't the monsters that she was facing. It was Alex and Kelly and Nia and Brainy. Her family.

Alex stumbled forward first. "Lena, I-" She interrupted herself by crashing into Lena-"I'm so fucking sorry. I should've told you when the whole thing with Reign happened, but then Kara told me that she had to work things out between you and Supergirl, and then I lost my memories for a while-" Lena realized with a jerk that Alex was sobbing against her shoulder.

"-I feel like such an awful friend." Alex's voice cracked.

"Ale-Alex! Hey, it's okay." And for the first time, Lena really meant it. "I'm sorry too. I just felt-"

"Betrayed. I know. I'm sorry." She repeated, stepping away from Lena. She gave Lena a small smile. Smaller, but much like the one she gave Lena the first time they met in Kara's apartment. Tired, but it gives off so much warmth that Lena could feel it. It reminded Lena of all the times they spent together. All the days when they made small explosions in her lab and teamed up for game night.  When Alex took her to self-defense classes and showed her fancy tricks with her guns. She was Lena's best friend. She is.

"Brainy, Nia." God, it felt good to- Lena couldn't even describe it. She missed this. Her friendship with Brainy was one of the few things she treasured most in the world. He was the only one who could ever match her intellect, her best lab partner. Her friend. And to the lonely twelve-year-old genius from the Luthor family, that was everything. And Nia was one of the bravest people Lena knew, unafraid to be herself and face the world. Fighting every day for the greater good. And she was more than that, she was the one who taught Lena that she didn't have to hide who she was. Lena will be a Luthor her entire life. She just had to embrace it. Or as Nia had framed, quite eloquently; 'own it.'

Kelly, and her crazy therapy skills. Lena regretted not spending more time with her. She was such a wonderful person. Kelly was the silent rock of their group, Lena could see that now. She was always there and she knew exactly what to say. In Lena's eyes, she was magical. So determined in supporting her friends through everything. The sweetest, most bad-ass person out of them all.

Shit, Lena was crying now.

"No more little boxes, Lena." Brainy whispered in her ear, and she giggled. Even Lena was surprised by that.

He was right. No more boxes. She has three minutes left to live and she wasn't going to crush herself with the weight of her stupid boxes.

There was still one more person-

"Kara. I'm sorry Lena, she- couldn't make it." Alex squeezed her shoulder. "Barry's Earth- they don't have a Kara. She can live there and not disintegrate. I told her to go with him. I'm sorry, Lena."

Lena's lungs filled with lead.

"Yes, of course." Lena's voice sounded far away even to herself. "She deserves to live there, in peace. I'm sorry, excuse me."

Something akin to panic swelled over her. Anxiety? Sorrow? Feelings were not Lena's strong suit. Panic attacks, unfortunately, she's already dealt with. She backed away from the room, almost knocking Sam over in the process. "Uh- Bathroom."

The door slammed behind her, and Lena splashed her face with cold water.

She would never get to apologize, she would never even get to see Kara again. Her best friend. Her soulmate. And now, she would die without Kara knowing- knowing that-

Because Lena only ever hated herself. She could never,ever hate Kara.

She curled into a ball on the floor, trying to physically hold herself together so she didn't fall apart. She couldn't fall apart, not right now. Her heart was racing and her breathing was short and distressed.

"Lena? Open the door." Alex's voice, carried in through the door.

"I-I'll be right out!" Even Lena knew they won't buy it. She could hear her voice crack with emotion.

"Lena? You don't have to go through this alone, I just told you that." Her voice was soft, and Lena chose to listen.

"I know it's hard. I know you miss her, and I can't imagine what it must feel after everything that happened between you and Kara. It was difficult for me too. I'm leaving her alone, just like everyone else in her life. I'm leaving her and her world is ending again, and we can't do anything about it. I hate it. I broke my promise. She doesn't deserve this pain, and you don't either."

The door creaked open. Suddenly it was Alex surprised by the hug.

"Alex, I'm so sorry."

"Lena." Alex wrapped her arms around the small brunette. "Trust me, she knows. She knows that you love her."

Lena sniffed and pulled back.

"That's just it, Alex." Lena's voice grew softer. "She doesn't know that I'm in love with her."

"You're in love with me?" A small, hopeful voice echoed from the back of the room.

The blonde superhero stepped forward with the sunny smile Lena loved. "Sorry I'm late but, I bought emergency Potstickers." She waved a bag at the rest of them.

"Kara-" The word was out of her mouth before she realized it, but then it was Lena in Kara's arms and nothing else mattered. She buried her head in the Kryptonian's shoulders.

"Hey." Kara tucked a strand of hair behind Lena's mismatched eyes, and Lena fucking melted.  "You know, I've been doing some research." Her voice was low and breathy.

"Oh yeah?" Lena's eyes shined as bright as the red skies outside. Kara thought she could see the whole galaxy in her them.

"I think I finally know what Quantum Entanglement means." She rested her forehead against Lena's and smiled softly.

Lena's heart was racing. She reached up and caught Kara's lips in hers.

"I love you too, Lena."

***

"System error. Terminal order simulation failed."

Lena gasped and fell to her knees.

"Redirect operations to internal systems." She gasped, tears streaming down her face.

Just a few more, a few more minutes. Please. I need to hold her. I need to be held by her.

"Simulation failed."

"No! No, no, no. Please. Try again." Lena fumbled with her screen.

"Simulation failed."

"TRY AGAIN, GODDAMMIT." Lena cried, her voice full of raw emotion.

"Simulation failed. Shutting down. Thirty seconds left in final countdown."

"NO! I SAID FUCKING TRY AGAIN!"

"Twenty-five seconds."

The air was getting hotter. She could already see the streaks of green and red raining down from above outside Kara's window.

"Nooo." She sobbed. "Please, I need to see them. I need to hold her. Please." She crumpled on the floor, holding Kara's green hoodie in her hand. The last piece of her Lena had. The worst part is, Kara wasn't dead. Just lost forever, to Lena.

"Ten seconds."

"Please."

"Five seconds."

"I don't want to be alone." She whispered.

.

.

.

Here's my twitter, go yell at me. https://twitter.com/Keroessa24

[break-slash]

[ENG Translation] The Past and The Future

This is one of my favorite Puzzleshipping fancomics on Pixiv. Translated with permission from the artist. Please do not scanlate it unless you have asked permission to the artist directly.

[Page 2]

Egypt, The Valley of The Kings

Driver: We will soon arrive at the place

Driver: Cars can’t enter from this point, so you’ll have to walk by yourself.

Driver: Mister, why don’t you hire yourself a professional guide?

Driver: Getting an extra explanation surely will be a bonus!

[Page 3]

Yuugi: Thank you, but I know more about this place than you probably think.

Driver: You sure about that?

Driver: Good luck, then!

-Mobile Message-

Grandpa: Yuugi, have you arrived safe and sound?

Yuugi: I just got off from the car. I think I’ll be walking for a while.

Grandpa: It’s already around this time; shouldn’t it be night in Egypt? Be careful out there.

[Page 4]

Yuugi: Don’t be so worried, it’s not my first time anyway.

Grandpa: Haha, true that. You’ve always visited that place once in a year since that time. How long will you be there this time?

Yuugi: We’ll see about that. I’ll have to go to the US too, so I might not return to Japan for a while. There are no city lights around here, so the night sky looks so beautiful. I’ll send you the photos later.

Grandpa: The night sky, huh.

Grandpa: Oh, the news did say that there will be a rare astronomical phenomenon today – a huge scale of meteor shower, it seems.

Yuugi: Meteor shower?

Grandpa: Aren’t you a lucky one? You can see it from Egypt, but I don’t think I can from Japan.

Grandpa: Why don’t you make a wish? Something for my store’s business thriving would be great, for example.

[Page 5]

Yuugi: A wish, huh.

Yuugi: From a long time ago…

Yuugi: Mine has always been…

[Page 7]

Yuugi: My… my other self…?

Atem: Who would you be?

[Page 8]

Atem: Abnormalities in the sky?

Isis: Indeed.

[Page 9]

Isis: The image I saw through my Millenium Necklace.

Isis: It was the time before your coronation. The stars start raining down from the sky.

Atem: What omen does that lead to?

Isis: I apologize; I could only see those images I have described to you.

Isis: Somehow what happens afterwards feels so far away, and I could only see darkness from the range I could perceive through these eyes.

Isis: However, this abnormality would surely cause a disruption to a certain time and space, so please be careful.

[Page 11]

Atem: This must be the “the rain of stars” Isis mentioned before.

Yuugi: Why don’t you warm yourself with this cup of hot chocolate?

[Page 12]

-Cultural exchange-

Yuugi: So, you are a prince from Egypt…

Yuugi: And you will take over the Pharaoh position in a few days?

Atem: Yes.

Yuugi: I still get reception, it seems.

[Page 13]

Atem: That thing you are currently holding.

Atem: It seems to be shining all the time – what exactly is it?

Yuugi: This? It’s called a “smartphone”. It’s something that lets you contact people far away from you.

Atem: Is that your spirit? Does it have a special ability for long-distance conversation?

Yuugi: Um, no… it has nothing to do with spirits. Simply put, this is just a tool.

Atem: Whatever, that thing doesn’t really concern me.

Atem: Tell me who exactly you are.

[Page 14]

Yuugi: I’m Mutou Yuugi

Atem: That’s all? You only gave me a name?

Yuugi: Erm…

Yuugi: I know you all too well, but I’m not so sure anymore how to introduce myself to you.

Yuugi: Then, do you mind me asking how I should call you?

Yuugi: There’s no longer a figure as “Pharaoh” in this era after all.

[Page 15]

Yuugi: This is a future 3000 years later from your era.

Atem: 3000 years...

Yuugi: You don’t seem to be so surprised.

Atem: I have been warned beforehand.

Atem: But I didn’t expect it to be 3000 years…

[Page 16]

Atem: The way I see it, the world 3000 years later doesn’t seem to change much, so I thought I shouldn’t get so surprised.

Yuugi: That’s because we are in a historic ruin. Nobody except archaeologists or researchers come to this place.

Atem: A ruin?

Yuugi: If you appeared first in a city instead, I bet you would not have thought like that.

Yuugi: What will you do from now?

Atem: My people are all waiting for my coronation ceremony.

Atem: This place is not where I come from, so…

Atem: I must go back to Egypt 3000 years before!

[Page 17]

Yuugi: Let me help you!

Yuugi: I mean, you couldn’t possibly stay in this ruin until we find out how to return you back, right? I can act as your guide in this era, and we can look for the way together as well!

Yuugi: The world has changed very vastly in 3000 years! You’ll get lost if you don’t have anyone to guide you around here!

Atem: You’re too close.

Yuugi: Ah! Sorry about that! I got myself carried away…

Atem: Never mind, it wasn’t unpleasant or anything. I was just not used to it.

Atem: Speaking of which, it did feel weird. This was my first time meeting you, but I feel a sense of familiarity coming from you.

[Page 18]

Atem: Since you said there is no Pharaoh at this era… “Atem”

Atem: You may call me with that name.

Yuugi: Ah!

Yuugi: The area of the meteor shower is getting wider!

Yuugi: It is said that you can only see this large scale of meteor shower once in a thousand years!

[Page 19]

Atem: Wait, if this “rain of stars” exists in a future 3000 years later, it means I have not experienced the “omen” of my era yet!

Yuugi: There’s a call from Mokuba.

Mokuba: Yuugi!

Mokuba: There’s an announcement from the US Block!

Yuugi: Really? It’s been decided?

Mokuba: I’ve told you to be standby on your device and keep a contact since these past few days, haven’t I?

Mokuba: Tell me your location later. I’ll send someone to pick you up.

Mokuba: Get adjusted with jet lag as soon as possible too. It’d be troublesome for us, the organizers, if the King of Duelist doesn’t get enough sleep during the duel itself.

[Page 20]

Atem: Oh, this thing can speak too?

Yuugi: Uwaaaah!

Mokuba: Hm? Are you still with somebody else?

Yuugi: It’s my friend! I took him along to watch the stars!

Yuugi: It’s someone unrelated to the tournament, so I’ll continue our talk!

Yuugi: If Atem gets seen, things would get messy.

Mokuba: Oh, I see. I saw the news reporting about the rare astronomical phenomenon in Egypt's sky today.

Yuugi: Is there something else I need to keep in mind?

Mokuba: As the head of the tournament’s executive committee, I should stay neutral, but don’t you dare lose before your match with my brother!

Yuugi: Okay, I got it, Mokuba!

Mokuba: That’s all from me then. Do you need something else?

[Page 21]

Atem: How rude…

Atem: But I’m not annoyed

Yuugi: Ah, Mokuba, there is something I want you to do for me.

The USA

[Page 22]

Seto: Are you finished sending the notice to the duelists, Mokuba?

Mokuba: Yes! I’ve confirmed it with everyone! That Yuugi is in Egypt right now, by the way.

Seto: That place again, huh.

Mokuba: Something’s off, though.

Seto: Hm?

Mokuba: Yuugi asked me to change his hotel room to double bed all of the sudden. Does he have a friend that close from Egypt?

Seto: As long as he isn’t late to the tournament, let him be.

Mokuba: As always, Brother doesn’t care about anything else than dueling, huh.

Mokuba: He isn’t wrong, though. The King of Duelist’s personal relationship is not in our Kaiba Corporation’s jurisdiction.

Mokuba: Alright, registration confirmed!

[Page 23]

Isono: Mr. Mutou, we are sent by the KC to pick you up.

Yuugi: Thank you as always. Have you prepared the clothing I asked for?

Isono: Yes, I’ve put it on the seat.

Isono: And who is this person might be…?

Yuugi: He’s a friend of mine who performed on a stage called “Pharaoh” just now.

Yuugi: He’s here to accompany me.

[Page 24]

Yuugi: This is a “helicopter”, one type of vehicle.

Yuugi: It can fly and take us through the sky.

Yuugi: Interesting, isn’t it?

Atem: There are a lot of spirits with flying skills. I use it quite often.

[Page 25]

Yuugi: Of course you do!

Yuugi: I expect nothing less from my other self. He’s not afraid of anything!

Meanwhile, inside the Prince’s mind

Atem: Vehicle…

Atem: It neither looks like a spirit nor a living being. Is that something human created? How do they make it? I question this world even more now.

Isono: Mr. Mutou, we will depart soon!

Yuugi: Ah, he’s calling for us.

Yuugi: Let’s go!

[Page 26]

Yuugi: I’ll explain about the current common knowledge in our way.

Yuugi: I think you’ll find it interesting.

Atem: I should have… pulled my hand away…

[Page 28]

Phone Screen: Ishizu, there’s something I’d like to consult with. It’s about the Nameless Pharaoh. I’ll explain the details after the tournament…

Yuugi: Millenium Puzzle…

[Page 29]

Yuugi: I thought I’d never see it again.

Yuugi: Hehe, it’s my first time seeing my other self’s face when sleeping.

Yuugi: He didn’t sleep at all last night, so he must have been tired.

Yuugi: I wonder if he’s dreaming of something…

[Page 30]

Atem: What’s this? This dream feels like I’m watching from someone’s point of view.

[Page 31]

Atem: Yuugi…

Yuugi: Why is Yuugi in my dream?

[Page 32]

Atem: Me?

Yuugi: Atem!

[Page 33]

Yuugi: Did you have a bad dream?

Atem: No…

Atem: It’s definitely on that man’s neck…

Atem: Was the Millenium Puzzle trying to tell me something?

Atem: What is with this pressured feeling?

Yuugi: We’ve arrived at our destination. The helicopter is landing down.

[Page 34]

Atem: This is what the world 3000 years later looks like…

[Page 35]

Yuugi: It suits you!

Atem: So, the outside is the city? Why is this country so different compared to Egypt? This really surprises me.

Yuugi: Hehe, the current Egypt actually looks like this too, you know.

Atem: This is the future world even Isis could not predict…

Atem: Do you mind if we go outside?

Yuugi: Well, I still have time before the tournament starts.

[Page 36]

Atem: How prosper everything has become! I can’t believe there are so many people here.

Yuugi: Haha, the world is currently populated by 7 billion people after all.

Atem: 7 billion?!

Atem: I’m amazed with the reign of this country’s king.

Yuugi: How should I explain that the monarchy system isn’t used here...?

[Page 37]

Yuugi: Here!

Yuugi: Ice cream!

Yuugi: Try it out!

[Page 38]

Yuugi: Back then, we were only able to eat one person’s portion.

Atem: It’s a taste I’ve never eaten before!

Yuugi: The ice cream will melt, so be careful not to leave any marks on your face.

Yuugi: This feels like a date…

Atem: About that… you have something on here/this spot.

Yuugi: Just when I wanted to show off my proper adult self to my other self!

Yuugi: By the way, what were you seeing before?

Yuugi: “Duel Monsters”!

[Page 39]

Atem: I thought everything is unknown to me ever since I came to this era, but there are things I am still familiar with.

Atem: If I was not mistaken, this spirit is Mahaad’s… but something is a bit different.

Yuugi: This must be the deck introduction during my debut.

[Page 40]

Atem: This sense of familiarity feels weird. I’m sure I didn’t know anything about this person at all before.

Yuugi: It’s been a while since we talked about “Dark Magician” together. It brings back memories.

Atem: Together?

Atem: Da…?

Atem: It should have been called as “The Magician of Illusion”…

Atem: Does the name change as well?

Atem: I wonder what these characters mean though. They have a weird shape…

Yuugi: Do you mean the content of the magazine?

Yuugi: This must be an article about me. Reading it firsthand is a little bit embarrassing…

Atem: I wonder how Mahaad’s spirit managed to evolve into a stronger being like this…

Atem: He surely would not have thought I would know about this before him!

Atem: Now I am curious about the other spirits’ well-being in the era.

Atem: I need to confirm it with my own two eyes.

[Page 41]

Atem: Are there temples around here? Or anyone with a skill of controlling the slab of the spirits?

Atem: Take me to them!

Yuugi: About that…

Kid 1: I summon “Koumori Dragon”!

[Page 42]

Atem: Why does the monster appear in the city? Where are the soldiers?!

Atem: Furthermore, the controller is…

Atem: A child!?

Yuugi: It’s alright, Atem. This era’s Duel Monsters is different from yours. They have no destructive power. It has become a worldwide game that everyone can enjoy. That’s all.

Atem: What… did you say? A game?

Kid 1: I attack you directly with “Koumori Dragon”!

[Page 43]

Kid 2: No! My life decreases so much!

Kid 1: Hehe, just admit that I am stronger already!

Kid 2: The match has just begun!

Atem: Even if he is hit…

Yuugi: This is the current era’s duel.

Yuugi: As long as you understand the rule, you can play it immediately and feel the fun of it.

Yuugi: Everyone can become a worthy Duelist!

[Page 44]

Atem: Training.

Atem: Talent.

Atem: Burden on one’s body.

Atem: In here, everyone can…

Atem: What is this?

Yuugi: The tournament’s ticket.

Yuugi: Come and check out while you can.

Yuugi: It’ll be easier to understand how this era’s duel looks like if you see the real deal.

Yuugi: I humbly invite you!

[Page 45]

*Bought on his way*

Atem: It’s the same arrow. This must have been the main entrance.

Atem: It took some time to look for the way around.

Yuugi: We can’t go together from here.

Yuugi: Let me draw a map for you!

Atem: He sure has some guts to leave me by myself.

[Page 46]

Atem: It sure is crowded.

Atem: Are these people Duelists, too?

Atem: Everyone seems to be having fun…

[Page 47]

Person A: That’s Mutou Yuugi.

Person B: The champion who hasn’t lost a single match.

Person C: It’s the King of Duelist!

Mokuba: Yuugi!

Yuugi: Mokuba-kun!

Mokuba: This is the tournament chart for the semifinals. I’ve brought it for you.

Yuugi: Thank you. I got too absorbed in adjusting my deck.

Mokuba: Are you nervous?

Yuugi: A little bit, yeah.

Mokuba: And I thought you have gotten used to it from some time ago.

Yuugi: This one is special.

[Page 48]

Mokuba: It is, for sure!

Mokuba: That must be because Brother will be joining as one of the Duelists this time!

*The Strongest Rival*

Mokuba: It’s about time for you to hand over the King of Duelist title!

Yuugi: That’s one of the causes, but…

Yuugi: This will definitely be a harsh battle…

Yuugi: Let us fight together once more, my old comrades!

[Page 51]

This is the scenery the Prince saw as he entered the venue.

Yuugi, who is standing in the middle of countless spotlight and among the cheers from the audience.

His figure emits off such dazzling lights.

[Page 52]

Atem: He shines just like Ra…

[Page 53]

Atem: I have seen this kind of battle before.

Atem: But it was a match I did with Father just to confirm the training result of the Priests. Nothing more.

Atem: However, in here…

Atem: Both the audience and the Duelists – everyone is having fun from the bottom of their heart.

[Page 54]

Atem: Furthermore, this might be because of the atmosphere, but…

Atem: It makes me fired up as well!

[Page 55]

Commentator: He manages to erase one more Monster from the field.

Commentator: Duelist Yuugi – his Life Point remains so little as he stumbles from his place. This might be the last turn that determines this duel’s result!

Yuugi: I set one card. I end my turn.

Commentator: Look at that! He ended his turn without leaving any wall Monster on the field! Duelist Yuugi is in trouble!

Atem: Yuugi…

Audience: King of Duelist…

Audience: King of Duelist!

[Page 56]

Judai: Hang in there! King of Duelist!

Judai: Come on. The flow of the match changed just after I went to the toilet!

Atem: King of… Duelist?

[Page 57]

Judai: Mister, you are standing over there…

Judai: But you don’t know about the King of Duelist?

Atem: Yuugi is a king? Don’t tell me he’s the ruler of this place?

Judai: Ruler? What’s that?

Judai: King of Duelist is someone who stands on the top of every Duelist out there, and currently Mr. Yuugi is the strongest man in this world!

Commentator: Duelist Yuugi is currently defending himself from the tumultuous attacks from his opponent! Will he be able to prevent the special effects of these troublesome monsters the opponent controls?!

Atem: The strongest man?

Opponent: Mutou Yuugi, it seems the winner has been decided.

Opponent: I’ll make sure to work hard for your part, too.

Judai: Mr. Yuugi has always won since his debut, after all!

[Page 58]

Opponent: Direct attack to the player!

Judai: No matter how strong the opponent is, no matter how bad the circumstances, Mr. Yuugi never gives up!

Commentator: Is this the end for the King of Duelist?!

Judai: He is the Duelist I respect the most!

[Page 59]

Yuugi: Reverse card, open!

Yuugi: I activate its effect! I Special Summon a Monster!

Yuugi: Appear before me, my strongest combination who fights together!

[Page 60]

Yuugi: Battle!

[Page 61]

Commentator: Splendid! Truly amazing! What a terrifying trap combination activated just in time! It’s the legendary Magician Pair!

Commentator: Here comes the comeback! Duelist Yuugi obtains his victory once more!

Judai: See that!

Judai: Isn’t he awesome?!

[Page 62]

Judai: Wow! The King of Duelist is staring at us/looking here!

Atem: His radiance is dazzling, indeed.

[Page 63]

Judai: Man, I’m tired!

Judai: The match made my throat dry!

Judai: Duels are truly the best! Putting things to an end with your strongest rival fires me up the most! (?)

Judai: The cheers from the audience even surpasses the mic!

Judai: Mister, do you drink juice? Let me treat you!

Atem: Oh, what an interesting item…

Judai: A bumpkin?

[Page 64]

Interviewer: Next, we will interview the duelists that are participating in this tournament!

Seto: Regarding the tournament, I, Kaiba…

Atem: That Kaiba person; what is he actually?

Judai: Oh, he’s Yuugi’s rival, and the executive committee of this tournament.

Judai: He debuted before Yuugi, and is a strong Duelist himself.

Judai: I’ve collected the data about his deck, too!

Atem: So Mutou Yuugi is a famous person?

Judai: You must be a person from the countryside if you don’t know about Yuugi!

Judai: When he was 16 years old, Yuugi defeated Kaiba in his first duel and got noticed by the public. He became well-known during Duelist Kingdom afterwards. He later became the undefeated duelist in every public duel he participated. Truly the invincible champion!

Judai: Let me tell you that I have all sets of the DVDs featuring his public matches!

Atem: D…V… D?

[Page 65]

Judai: But later on, Yuugi’s dueling style changed all of the sudden, and nobody has ever seen his old style ever since.

Judai: There’s a rumor that the King of Duelist back then was actually another Yuugi.

Judai: Doesn’t it sound ridiculous?

Atem: The other Yuugi!

Atem: Was that ‘Yuugi’ strong as well?

Judai: Of course he was!

Judai: He obtained the “King of Duelist” title during that time, after all!

Judai: That was Yuugi, you know! The legendary, unquestionable phantom Duelist!

[Page 66]

Judai: One day I want to have a fun duel with Yuugi someday!

Atem: I understand that Yuugi is not a regular person, but I did not know he was this famous…

Judai: Mister, you really are a weird one, you know. You have the King of Duelist’s merchandise, but you don’t know anything about him.

Judai: More importantly, whether it’s the past or the present

Judai: Without doubt, Yuugi is strong!

Atem: Then, the other Yuugi is…

Judai’s friend: Ah, it’s him! That’s where he has been!

Judai’s friend: Judai, the signing event will start soon!

Judai: Got it! I’m going!

Judai: Mister, why don’t you go with us?

Atem: No, I still have to meet someone after this.

[Page 67]

Judai: Well, that’s a shame.

Judai: If you’re really interested in him, you could’ve asked the person directly!

Judai: Well then, I’m going!

Atem: Good bye.

[Page 68]

Judai: Wha…

[Page 69]

Judai’s friend: Judai!

Judai: That’s…

[Page 70]

Yuugi: Atem!

Yuugi: Too much signing wrecks my wrist!

Yuugi: Sorry for being late. There are more people than I expected.

Atem: Aren’t you a famous one? That kind of last-minute strategy – I can’t believe you pulled it off.

Yuugi: Really? That means a lot to me!

Yuugi: So, how was it?

Atem: I’m surprised.

Atem: I know most of the figures from your deck, particularly those two Monster cards!

[Page 71]

Atem: Those cards, “Dark Magician” and “Dark Magician Girl” – their combination effect is way more amazing than I expected!

Atem: I didn’t know you can even pair them with another Spell card! Truly interesting!

Atem: They are actually my friends, but the ones I know are not that strong yet.

Yuugi: You’ve understood the vocabularies used for duel this far?

Atem: I am one hell of a fast learner!

Atem: A few days ago, my priest predicted that I would transcend space-time due to a certain meteor shower. I kept thinking about its meaning until this moment.

Atem: When I saw them in a distant future I couldn’t have expected before, I couldn’t help but want to talk with them right at this moment.

Yuugi: The person who bears the Millenium Necklace can even predict the events happening 3000 years later?

Atem: No, she only said that it would happen before my coronation ceremony.

Atem: And the first meteor shower that I saw was the one that appeared at the night we first met.

[Page 72]

Yuugi: Don’t tell me – does it mean that you will be able to see the meteor shower once more sometime in the future

Yuugi: And that meteor shower will become the key to this mystery?

Atem: This might be one of the clues! Isis did say that the abnormality in the astronomical phenomenon caused the disruption in time and space!

Yuugi: If we are talking about space-time disruption, that means what you experienced is something similar to a wormhole! You must have felt the entrance to the current era at that time!

Atem: What’s a “wormhole”?

Yuugi: I don’t really understand either…

Yuugi: But I’m glad.

Yuugi: I’ve consulted about this to someone who’s an expert on this topic.

Atem: I wonder why this era of all periods, though.

[Page 73]

Atem: If I didn’t experience it myself, I probably wouldn’t be able to imagine it. I still don’t know how I should explain all of this to the Priests.

Atem: In Egypt, controlling the spirits is one difficult task. Only people with royal family blood or those with sublime knowledge who are able to do it.

Atem: Moreover, the basis of “being able to see the shape of the spirits” can only be done after one experienced harsh training in several years.

Atem: However, in this place, even kids can control the spirits and have duels at their will. This era is too mysterious.

[Page 74]

Yuugi: To be frank, a Pharaoh who can do magic is more mysterious to us.

Atem: A Pharaoh who can use magic is a given! It is a sacred skill given to me since my birth, so it should be obvious!

Atem: If I could not do it, how would I be able to protect my people?!

Atem: But here, everyone is a warrior.

Atem: Should they face someone strong, they have no need to cower in fear!

Atem: No wonder this era does not need a Pharaoh!

Atem: When I was a child, I made a promise with my friend that I would create a world where everyone is treated equally. That is why I go through countless training to make it come true.

Atem: However, when my father passed away, I was starting to question it.  

[Page 75]

Atem: My father was born during the war, but he raised me while maintaining Egypt’s peace.

Atem: When I inherited the reign, I wondered if I could maintain Egypt’s prosperity for a long time just like my father did.

Atem: Would I be able to welcome the world I dreamed of with my people together? What kind of world would it be?

Atem: Afterwards, I came to this era, and after seeing the things happening in here, I finally understand.

Atem: This era is precisely the shortcut that leads to the road of the future I’ve always been looking for! That is why I came here!

Atem: The form of that ideal Egypt is starting to burst into my mind!

[Page 76]

Atem: I see!

Atem: This is the future!

Atem: There must be a record about me….

[Page 77]

Atem: It’s the first time

Atem: Yuugi avoided looking at me.

[Page 78]

Atem: Oh well!

Atem: Life wouldn’t be so interesting if we know about the future already.

Yuugi: Atem…

Man: Ah, look at that guy…

Woman: That’s Mutou Yuugi!

Man: The King of Duelist!

Woman: Wow!

Man: Please take a photo with me!

Person A: You guys in the behind, don’t push!

Person B: You’re stepping on others, you know!?

Person C: Get out of my way!

[Page 79]

Atem: Let’s escape!

Yuugi: Uwah!

Atem: Ah…

Atem: I’m tired…

[Page 80]

Atem: Your believers are very passionate, huh.

Yuugi: They are not believers. They’re just fellow fans who love duels just like I do.

Atem: What is this “fellow fans” thing?

Yuugi: Such curiosity!

Yuugi: “Fellow fans” means that our interests or the things we like are the same. In a word, we’re comrades!

Atem: Does it mean we can be called as “fellow fans” too?

Yuugi: Eh?

Atem: I have interest in “Duel Monsters”.

Atem: Would you mind teaching me?

Yuugi: Of course!

Yuugi: I just happen to have another deck with me!

Yuugi: That time, I really did wish for something…

[Page 81]

Yuugi: Right now, I’m so happy it brings me to tears!

[Page 82]

Atem: Oddly, everything feels so familiar.

Atem: This is a deck Yuugi gave to me, but

Atem: It feels like a deck with cards I would definitely choose if I were to make one.

Atem: Mana…

Atem: Mahaad…

[Page 83]

Yuugi: Are you ready?

Atem: Come at me!

Yuugi and Atem: Duel!

[Page 85]

Atem: Oh man!

Atem: You’re the first one to ever win a game from me.

Yuugi: For someone who has never dueled before, being able to put me at the corner is an amazing feat, too!

Yuugi: But, in the end…

Atem: It was a fun duel!

[Page 86]

Yuugi: Thank you…

Yuugi: Atem

Yuugi: For dueling with me here.

Yuugi: If you don’t, I don’t know… when I will be able to get over with “the last duel” I had with my other self.

Yuugi: A duel that symbolizes our parting and sadness…

[Page 87]

Yuugi: What I wished for was so that I can duel with you once more with a smile on our faces/I can have a fun duel with you!

Atem: Those eyes again…

Atem: It’s like he’s having a reminiscence of something…

[Page 88]

Atem: Um…

Atem: I feel like there’s a meaning behind those words.

Yuugi: There is one indeed!

Atem: What is it?

Yuugi: Not telling!

Yuugi: You’ll understand it someday.

Atem: Egypt owes you so much for showing me the way to rule my country!

Yuugi: You’re exaggerating it!

Atem: It is the fact.

[Page 89]

Atem: That’s why I should be the one to thank you!

Atem: When I just arrived here, I always kept my guard over everything around me.

Atem: If you were not there, I would probably seclude myself in that ruins.

Atem: When I saw you the first time…

Atem: Of course…

[Page 90]

Atem: When I saw Yuugi, I understood that it’s a “fate” in one glance.

Atem: Yuugi, what exactly are you…

Atem: If you had been born in Egypt, I would have definitely taken you to the royal palace.

[Page 91]

Atem: I’m starting to like you, Yuugi…

[Page 92]

Yuugi: Ah!

Atem: Don’t stare at me that much…

Atem: I’m flustered too, here.

Atem: Your answer?

[Page 93]

Yuugi: I can feel it clearly now – just how long 3000 years can be.

[Page 94]

Atem: Yuugi…

Atem: You should relax a little bit, Yuugi…

[Page 95]

Atem: You’re too nervous. Is this your first time?

Yuugi: …Maybe…

Atem: Maybe? What’s with that answer?

Yuugi: Is this your first too, then?

Atem: Do I look like I have spare time for this?

Atem: That’s why, if it hurts…

Atem: Say it with words.

[Page 97]

Atem: Yuugi…?

Yuugi: And that’s why –

[Page 98]

Ishizu: You want to know the exact date when the meteor shower happened in Ancient Egypt 3000 years ago?

Yuugi: I was thinking of asking Ishizu-san to search for any possible method…

Ishizu: I understand.

Ishizu: It is possible to calculate the time when the space-time interval between 3000 years ago and this era will open by researching the literature.

Ishizu: I will inform you once we get the result.

Yuugi: Please do. Calculating 3000 years of time before must be difficult…

Ishizu: No problem. It is something related to the karma of history, so I will do to my utmost.

Atem: That woman… Isis?

Ishizu: Yuugi, can I ask you a question?

Yuugi: Yes?

[Page 99]

Ishizu: How do you feel right now?

Yuugi: …I don’t know.

Yuugi: It might be good or bad. It could be both.

Yuugi: What Atem needs the most right now is his era’s Egypt.

Yuugi: Both of us clearly understood about this one fact.

[Page 100]

Yuugi: Compared to this mundane feeling of mine,

Yuugi: Turning back the time needle of the messy history is more important.

Ishizu: I expected those words to come out of you.

Ishizu: Pardon my rudeness.

Atem: Why of all times, it has to be 3000 years later…

Atem: This era is apparently deeply connected to my own.

[Page 101]

Atem: Even both Yuugi and I…

Atem: Don’t tell me there is another Millenium Puzzle in this world…

Atem: Impossible…. That was a mere dream.

Atem: Millenium Items are not something one can create so easily.

[Page 102]

Yuugi: Oh, you’re awake.

Atem: Hey!

Atem: My clothes!

Yuugi: Got it, got it!

Yuugi: Us getting flustered over it on the next day is expected.

Yuugi: I need to calm down as well!

Yuugi: I’m already a grown-up, after all!

Text: Shyness Level

[Page 103]                  

Atem: With whom were you talking just now?

Yuugi: You heard it?

Yuugi: She’s Ishizu Ishtar, an archeologist.

Yuugi: She’s an expert when it comes to the history of ancient Egypt.

Yuugi: I have told her about you.

Yuugi: She’ll definitely be able to look for a way to return you back.

Yuugi: And your tomb guardian as well…

Atem: I see…

[Page 104]

Malik: What happened, Sister?

Malik: You look down.

[Page 105]

Ishizu: I was just…

Ishizu: I was only grieving the fact that the young king will remain clueless of the fate which will block his way forward.

Ishizu: This farewell might be a sadder one compared to the Ceremonial Duel…

[Page 108]

Yuugi: “Month X, Date X, take the Pharaoh to the place where you two met the first time at the Valley of the Kings, and wait for night to come”

Yuugi: The time Ishizu mentioned is today!

Yuugi: This chasm can only fit one person at a time.

Atem: Let’s go.

[Page 109]

Yuugi: I can feel Atem’s heat through his palm.

Yuugi: It’s warm…

[Page 110]

Yuugi: The you who are standing in front of me right now is my other self who lived inside me, but

Yuugi: It’s not the king who went to the afterlife.

Yuugi: The Atem who lived 3000 years ago…

[Page 111]

Yuugi: Even so, I couldn’t do anything but to watch as you get swallowed by the darkness.

[Page 112]

Atem: We can finally see the stars.

Atem: We have to part ways from here.

Yuugi: Yeah.

Atem: Thank you for taking care of me these past few days.

Yuugi: It’s nothing…

[Page 114]

Yuugi: Ah…

Yuugi: No.

Yuugi: I was…

Yuugi: It’s just…

Yuugi: …I couldn’t hold it back.

Atem: Yuugi…

Atem: A farewell is indeed painful.

[Page 115]

Atem: The two of us were hindered by a large gap of time flow.

Atem: If this abnormality hadn’t existed…

Atem: I wouldn’t have been able to know the existence of Mutou Yuugi for my whole life.

Atem: I couldn’t have imagined such a dream-like scenery like this exists in this world.

Atem: That’s why, the sadness from this parting…

[Page 116]

Atem: It’s nothing much compared to the joy I get from my encounter with you.

Yuugi: I feel the same! I’m really glad to be able to meet you!

Yuugi: That’s true… I couldn’t interfere with your past.

[Page 117]

Yuugi: But, at least.

Yuugi: You’ll be able to look for a place to belong to in the future.

Yuugi: I’m really grateful for this encounter I have with you.

Yuugi: My other self… even now, you are still the savior of my heart.

Atem: Yuugi…

Atem: There is something I’ve been meaning to ask until now.

Atem: Have you been looking at someone else through me?

Atem: It feels like your eyes have always stared at somewhere far away…

[Page 118]

Yuugi: I’ve always looked at no one but you!

Yuugi: The current you wouldn’t understand the things we have experienced together, but.

Yuugi: No matter how severe and sorrowful things might be in the future, I ask you to keep believing.

Yuugi: Believe that I would definitely come to save you!

[Page 119]

Yuugi: Just you wait!

Yuugi: Farewell… my treasure.

[Page 120]

Atem: The Millenium Puzzle is resonating with Yuugi!

Atem: Something is flowing inside my mind!

[Page 121]

Yuugi: Let’s meet again in the future!

Atem: Ah… I’ve finally understood why I was sent to this era…

Atem: Will I be able to meet you once more?

[Page 122]

Atem: It’s because you are here!

Yuugi: Definitely!

[Page 125]

Mana: Prince!

Mana: I’ve finally found you!

Atem: Mana.

Mana: Where have you been these past few days? Everyone’s looking for you!

Atem: Is the royal palace safe?

[Page 126]

Mana: Don’t worry! Lady Isis has been consoling everyone, so it was alright for a while.

Mana: I don’t understand the whole “interval between space and time” matter…

Mana: That’s why I got scolded by Master.

Atem: It’s alright.

Atem: Mahaad will definitely think of you better in the future.

Mana: Prince, did something happen to you?

Atem: What is it?

Mana: It’s been a while since I saw your smile, after all.

Mana: O-Of course it doesn’t mean you look upset all the time!

Mana: You are a prince after all – you need to keep your dignity!

Mana: It’s just, the way you are right now…

[Page 127]

Mana: You become slightly gentler

Mana: Just like someone who falters, and decides to put his blade into its sheath.

Atem: Something did happen…

Mana: What could it be?

Atem: It’s a world you couldn’t imagine unless you see it with your own two eyes.

Atem: What remains the same is probably only this starry sky.

Atem: I’ll tell the rest of the story later.

[Page 128]

Atem: For now, let’s take a rest and prepare for the upcoming coronation ceremony!

Mana: Alright!

[Page 129]

Yuugi: Silent Magician! Direct attack on the player!

[Page 130]

Atem: Partner… you are already strong, yet your growth will not stop here.

Atem: I am lucky to be able to see your future with my own eyes.

Atem: Now, I can finally understand the meaning of the words you said to me back then.

[Page 131]

Yuugi: I…

Yuugi: I’m too weak…

Yuugi: You were my hero… my goal… I wanted to be strong… like you…

Atem: You’re not weak… you’ve always had a power that no one else could beat.

Atem: The power of kindness – that’s what I learned from you.

Atem: And that power shows me the path I must take from the past to the future.

Atem: I was able to pierce through my hesitation and face the darkness without fear because of you.

[Page 132]

Atem: I will depart from here. I have no regrets about it.

Atem: I’m not the “other you” anymore…

Atem: And you… are no one else but you!

Atem: You are Yuugi… the only Mutou Yuugi in the world!

Atem: It’s because I know that someone as strong as you will shine brightly among millions of people.

Atem: That is the glory that you have created with your own two hands.

[Page 133]

Atem: Thank you, partner…

[Page 134]

Atem: And let’s meet again in the future!

[aiorevelations]

A Number, Not a Name: Part 15!!

Present-day:

Beads of sweat trickled down Jason’s forehead as he frantically worked to decrypt the file. He had been working on it for nearly an hour and so far he’d had no luck. Every time he’d get close to cracking the code, there'd be some phrase of letters left that didn’t make any sense. He knew he was running out of time and had to hurry. He wiped the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand and kept going. Another minute passed, then five minutes, fifteen minutes. Jason intensely scrutinized and analyzed every letter, trying to come up with another possible code pattern that would decrypt the file. 

Okay…looks like it’s a Caesar Cipher. Shifted down by twelve….please dear God let this work.

Jason quickly typed another command on the laptop and anxiously waited. His heart began to race as all the incoherent phrases began to transform into actual words and sentences. 

There in front of him was Dalmar’s plan, outlined step by step. His plan for running for higher offices. Building his network and support bases. Acquiring more weapons. And ultimately seizing power. Even more importantly, the location of the weapons was laid out in the document. 

Jason felt an overwhelming sense of relief that he’d deciphered the pattern yet kicked himself that hadn’t cracked such a simple code sooner. He figured his nerves had got the best of him but he couldn’t help but be angry at himself. He’d lost a great deal of time, time he couldn’t afford to lose. Jason suspected Dalmar or one of his men had encrypted the file manually as it was amateur work. A skilled professional or person with a knowledge of computers would have used encryption software such as AES which would have converted the plaintext contained in the file into ciphertext. Rendering it impossible for Jason to decrypt the file without entering in a specific password. He picked up his pen, pressed the top metal bottom on the side, and snapped several pictures of the file. 

From the looks of this the weapons should be located…in a bunker a few miles north of here. He quickly encrypted the file again, excited the file, and closed the laptop. He picked it up and inserted it back into the drawer just as he'd found it. He placed the pen back in his pocket. Jason closed the office door and headed back down the tunnel shaft. Now that he had the intel they needed all they had to do was make it through the rest of the gala. He already had been gone a great deal of time and knew that the longer he was gone the greater chance he’d be caught or that Dalmar would be suspicious of him and Tasha. He hoped he wasn’t too late.

…..

The black limousine made its way down the winding road that encircled Dalmar’s estate. As they drove Dalmar pointed out to Tasha the various structures and amenities that graced his home. The guest house, its exterior resembling that of the main house with an assortment of glass, wood, and chrome. The tennis courts and lavish swimming pool. And the rose garden, all the flowers coming together in a rainbow of color and releasing a sweet scent into the air.

Inside the confines of the limo, Dalmar placed his arm around Tasha and pointed in the direction of the greenhouse. “And over there is the greenhouse.”

“My goodness, I’ve never seen such a large one before.”

“My mother, loved plants, especially flowers. I suppose I inherited that love from her.”

“I never would have guessed that you would have such a fondness for flowers.” Tasha teased. 

“Their strength yet delicateness is something to behold. And of course their beauty.”

Tasha forced a smile. “I’ve never met someone who has spoken to me… or makes me feel the way you do.”

“Beauty is meant to be appreciated and treasured. You, my dear, are a shining jewel.”

Tasha stood there frozen, speechless, unsure of what to say.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or-“

“No, no. It’s just I’m used to guarding...my feelings. Taking things slower…but being here with you…it feels different.”

“I’m glad.” Dalmar smiled and took Tasha’s hand. “This has been one of the happiest nights of my life.” The car suddenly came to a stop, causing him to release Tasha’s hand, for which she was relieved. 

“We’re here.” The chauffeur announced.

Tasha peered out the tinted windows of the car yet didn’t see any structure or buildings in the distance. She turned back to Dalmar. “Here?” she asked, a quizzical expression on her face. 

“You’ll see.” He grinned. Tasha and Dalmar exited the limo and walked to the front of the car. 

“Right this way.” Dalmar motioned in front of him. The two of them began making their way forward through the woods. Tasha found it somewhat difficult to walk as her heels kept getting bogged down in the ground. She did her best to conceal it from Dalmar. The last thing she needed was for him to offer her his hand, holding it once had been more than enough for her. 

Soon they arrived at what appeared to be an electrical substation. They reached a metal fence, all over which were signs posted that read “Danger. High voltage.” Dalmar entered a passcode into a security keypad and a metal gate rolled to the side.

 “After you.” 

“Thank you,” she smiled.

They went through the entrance, the gate closing behind them. After walking to the control house, Dalmar typed in another code on the keypad located on the door handle. “I believe inside you’ll find something that you’ve had your eyes on.” Tasha felt her heart begin to race as the door unlocked and Dalmar turned the handle. 

Tasha stepped inside the room, followed by Dalmar. The lights flashed on showing a stairwell a few feet in front of them. At the end of the stairs, there was a hallway, with a metal door located at its end. Dalmar punched in another password on the keypad. Tasha heard a metallic click and the door slowly slid to the side. 

Tasha let out a small gasp as they entered the concrete bunker. From the floor to the rafters, the room was filled with an assortment of weapons. Machine guns, automatic rifles, ammunition, surface-to-air missiles, and even a few tanks. “Wow,” she said softly in awe. “This is incredible.” 

“Even better than you imagined?”

“Yes.” She slowly spun around to get a complete view of the room. “Other girls like flowers or chocolate. A trip to Tahiti,” she laughed, “but me…this is my life, right here. My happy place.”

“I can see that.”

“From the moment I met you I could immediately tell you were a man with great ambition. And in my line of work I’ve met many people with the same fire in their eyes…but somehow, it’s hard to explain, I knew you were different.”

“Different, how so?”

“Others may have had the same ambition as you but I felt in my soul that you were destined to become something. To do great things. To leave your mark on humanity. Many aspire to such things but few accomplish them. I believe, with my whole heart, that you are among the few.”

“I’m glad to hear you believe so. I for my part have always held that I would be among the great men of history. These past years I’ve dedicated all my time and resources to this goal and now I’m on the eve of achieving it.”

“The eve? You’ve said many times now that you’re on the eve of your dream becoming reality. That your goal is about to happen soon.”

“Yes. I have.”

“The question is when exactly is ‘soon?’ It’s such a relative term. For some it’s a few years, others a couple of months, or perhaps even a few minutes. When is it for you?” Tasha pressed him for more details. “If you decided to tell me…” she took a breath, “not only about when you intend to enforce your plan but its entirety, it would mean the world to me. To know that out of all the billions of people in this world I was enough…for you to completely confide in.”

“You can be very persistent. When you want to be.”

“I try my best.”

“I’m sure by now you’ve heard of my political party the KLF and my run for parliament.”

“Yes. I am aware.”

“Initially when I announced my run to be a member of parliament I did plan to win power by legitimate means. Start at the bottom and work my way up so to speak.”

“I assume eventually becoming prime minister.”

“Exactly, but as time has passed I realize that I can’t wait. I have to act now. This country is at the brink of collapse, of being internally ripped apart until it fails to exist. It is hard to believe now but centuries ago this country used to be one of the shining jewels of the world. Trade and the economy flourished. Money poured into the nation. The military was one of the most formidable forces on earth. Most importantly power was centralized in the hands of the Sargis family. But over time the country was stripped of its former glory at the hands of upcoming nations, as they attacked Krudia again and again. The Sargis dynasty crumbled and the economy is nowhere near as prosperous as it once had been. Recently, due to famine and political instability, the country has fallen into economic ruin.  Looking at a map today, compared to other countries, Krudia is merely a speck of land. But hundreds of years ago it was nearly ten times the size it is today. My goal is to restore Krudia to its former glory and in the process be immortalized in history. The only way for that to happen is by force as many unfortunately are against radical change.”

Tasha crossed her arms. “I can’t imagine why. Unless they enjoy starving to death.”

“In my eyes, they’re merely a nuisance.” He scoffed. “One that won’t exist for much longer. Next week, once your weapons have arrived, I plan to establish myself as the new president of Krudia.”

“I knew you were ambitious…but this. I never dreamed I’d do business with a future president.”

“Thanks to your weapons. All my goals for this nation will become reality. The nations surrounding our borders will be forced to comply with my wishes. To surrender the land that originally was part of Krudia. Nations will be forced to their knees and to fulfill my demands. Otherwise, they’ll be obliterated. With me as its leader, Krudia, not only will be restored to the height of its power but become the greatest nation on earth. Imagine me as its leader and…you be my side.”

Tasha found herself taken aback by his words. The way Dalmar mentioned threatening nuclear destruction without even a second thought sent chills up and down her spine. In some ways when dancing and dining the evening away it was easy to forget who the man was who stood in front of her. A deranged and disgusting psychopath. She swallowed, trying to find the words. “I-I can’t imagine it.”

“The thought, it’s a lot to take in isn’t it?”

“It certainly is…but as I said before you are destined for remarkable things.”

“Now is there anything else…you want? Anything at all you can think of, just name it.”

I really have this guy wrapped around my finger. At least I was able to use it to my advantage. “Just one thing. Another dance…with you.”

“There’s no music.” He stretched his arms out. 

She shook her head. “Not here. Back at the main house.”

“As you wish, mi corazón.”

“I like the sound of that.”

“Which part? Mi corazón or as you wish?”

“Both. But especially as you wish.”

Dalmar and Tasha each laughed as they headed back towards the stairwell. As she climbed into the car, Tasha felt a sense of relief wash over. She’d gotten the information they needed. All she had to do was keep up her cover, despite how difficult it was increasingly becoming. She hoped Jason would be back at the house by the time she and Dalmar returned. That is if he had not run into any trouble. Tasha quickly silenced those thoughts for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. She knew thinking about Jason being caught, without knowing if that was actually true, would do neither of them any good. As they settled back in the car Dalmar once again wrapped his arm around Tasha. Tasha inwardly rolled her eyes, her annoyance with Dalmar’s enchantment with her growing every second. It’s good. You can do this. She told herself. Just so long as he doesn’t propose.

…..

Jason quietly made his way through the tunnel into the lab report room. In front, he could see the door that led to the hall, off of which was the stairwell. That stairwell led to the first corridor, beyond which lay the door to the outside. The last thing he needed was to get caught especially after all he’d done to get this far. 

As Jason began to exit the room a piercing shriek filled the room, followed by a succession of agonizing screams. It had come from the door on the left side of the aisle, the room he had seen the two security guards enter earlier. Jason then heard words come from a man, who sounded as though he was in excruciating pain. “Please stop. I won’t speak out against Dalmar again. I swear.” 

“I’m afraid once is one time too many” came another man’s voice, that sounded like Tarek. 

He could only imagine the horrifying scenes unfolding in that room. Jason knew that in becoming an agent he would see and hear horrific and tragic things, see the worst sides of people. Every day in training new agents were debriefed on this issue and how to respond. How not to let it affect them or their actions, but to continue to carry on with their mission. Their instructors would ask them what was more important. Saving one person at the expense of the entire operation or choosing to save more lives by keeping their cover intact? For Jason that was a question he didn’t want to answer. Losing one life was one too many. However, in this world, you had to put aside your own beliefs and values for the sake of national security. At least that was what he’d been told by his superiors. He couldn’t do what Jason Allen Whittaker would do. He had to do what 1131 would do. Jason knew that right now he had to push his thoughts aside and press on. No matter what, Dalmar could not carry out his plan. He had to succeed on this mission, failure wasn’t an option. Even still it took every ounce of his willpower to not intervene. 

Jason suddenly froze, in the doorway, as he heard the sound of a gunshot. He then saw the door across from him begin to open. Frantically he ducked back into the lab report room, praying he hadn’t been spotted. He pressed as close as he could against a wall and stood as still as possible. From across the hall, he saw Tarek and three other men, two of them the same guards he had followed, exit through the door. Two of the men helped to drag a man's bloody and mutilated body out of the room. As they dragged him through the hall on the ground his blood smeared all across on the concrete floor. A brutal testament to the pain and unspeakable suffering he had endured. 

His Grandpa Harold would tell him that there are moments in a person’s life that would come back to haunt them. Fill them with what-ifs and doubts. Make them wonder if they should have done more or made a different choice. As he exited the warehouse Jason knew this was such a time. He was no longer a little boy with an innocent view of the world. This moment had reminded him once again how cruel and heartless people could be. How much evil there was in the world. All Jason knew was he had to bring Dalmar to justice. No matter what it took.

[fuckofffuckofffuckoffloveme]

Runaway - Part Two

~Masterlist~

Concept: Hazel Richards is a twenty-year-old woman living in London. When she meets a mysterious time-travelling alien known only as the Hunter, she’s thrust into a world of wonder she could only have imagined.

Warnings: swearing, follows S1 of Doctor Who.

As Hazel entered, she met the Hunter with a smile, and the Time Lady even smiled a little herself. "You were right, you know."

"What do you mean?" Hazel asked, walking up to the console.

"I do have a name. Asides from the Hunter, I mean." The Time Lady shrugged. "I was named Artemis the same way you were named Hazel, but my people often choose titles as well. Mainly because it's easier. Titles are meaningless, they are not names, not really. They just reflect us."

"Artemis, huh?" Hazel repeated, raising her eyebrows. "Like the goddess?"

The Hunter smirked a little. "Well, I did leave an impression on the ancient Greeks, yes. Me and my --" She cut herself off.

Hazel frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. It doesn't matter." The Hunter took a deep breath. "Right then, Hazel Norton, you tell me. Where do you want to go? Backwards or forwards in time. It's your choice. What's it going to be?"

"Forwards," Hazel replied, letting it slide.

"How far?"

"Uh..." Hazel shrugged. "One hundred years."

The Hunter set the TARDIS into motion, before landing it a few seconds later. "There you go. Step outside those doors, it's the twenty second century."

Hazel's eyes widened. "You're kidding."

"I'm not." The Hunter smirked a little. "That's a bit boring, though. Do you want to go further?"

"Fine by me," Hazel grinned. The TARDIS went into flight for a bit longer this time, before settling down again.

"Ten thousand years in the future. Step outside, it's the year 12005, the new Roman Empire."

"You think you're so impressive," Hazel accused, smirking.

The Hunter snorted. "I am so impressive."

Hazel scoffed. "You wish!"

"Right then, you asked for it. I know exactly where to go," the Hunter decided. "Hold on!" She piloted the TARDIS a lot further this time, and the flight was much more turbulent.

"Where are we?" Hazel asked when they landed. "What's out there?"

The Hunter didn't answer, just gestured towards the door with her hand. Hazel grinned, going outside and down a flight of steps. As she and the Hunter walked towards it, a large shutter in the wall descended to reveal an orbital view of the Earth. Hazel's breath hitched in her throat.

"You lot, you spend all your time thinking about dying, like you're going to get killed by eggs or beef or global warming or asteroids. But you never take time to imagine the impossible, that maybe you survive," the Hunter began. "This is the year five point five slash apple slash twenty six. Five billion years in your future, and this is the --" She checked her wristwatch. "Hold on." Her head bobbed a little bit as she counted down in her head. Outside, the sun flared and turned red. "This is the day the sun expands. Welcome to the end of the world."

Hazel's eyes widened. "I take it all back, Artemis. This is pretty damn impressive."

The Hunter smirked, leading her down a corridor. Up above, a tannoy announced a message to the whole space station. "Shuttles five and six now docking. Guests are reminded that Platform One forbids the use of weapons, teleportation, and religion. Earth Death is scheduled for 15:39, followed by drinks in the Manchester Suite."

"So, when it says guests, does that mean people?" Hazel wondered.

"Well, that depends on your definition of people," the Hunter shrugged.

"I mean people," Hazel clarified. "What do you mean?"

"Aliens," the Hunter replied simply.

Hazel frowned as they took a left. "What are they doing on board this spaceship? What's it all for?"

The Hunter raised an eyebrow. "It's not really a spaceship, more like an observation deck. The great and the good are gathering to watch the planet burn." She used her sonic screwdriver to open a wall panel and check something behind it.

"What for?"

"Fun," the Hunter shrugged. They walked into a large room lined with display cases and a huge floor-to-ceiling window looking out onto the planet below. "Of course, when I said the great and the good, what I meant is the rich. Some things never change."

Hazel shook her head. "But hold on. The sun expanding, that takes hundreds of years, right?"

"Millions," the Hunter agreed. "But the planet's now property of the National Trust. They've been keeping it preserved. See down there? Gravity satellites holding back the sun."

"The planet looks the same as ever," Hazel sighed. "I thought the continents shifted and stuff."

"They did, and the Trust shifted them back. That's a classic Earth," the Hunter explained. "But now the money's run out, nature takes over."

"How long's it got?" Hazel wondered.

"About half an hour, then the planet gets roasted like a slightly bigger-than-usual chestnut."

"Is that why we're here? I mean, is that what you do?" she asked. "Jump in at the last minute and save the Earth."

The Hunter shook her head. "I'm not saving it. Time's up."

Hazel frowned. "But what about the people?"

"It's empty," the Hunter responded. "They're all gone. No one left."

Hazel sighed, biting her lip. "It's just me now."

"Who the hell are you?" The two girls turned to see a tall, blue-skinned man with golden cat eyes striding towards them.

"Oh, that's nice, thanks. The Steward, I presume?" The Hunter looked up at him expectantly, one eyebrow raised.

"But how did you get in?" the Steward spluttered. "This is a maximum hospitality zone. The guests have disembarked. They're on their way any second now."

"Yes? We got here early, is that a problem? Look, I've got our invitation." The Hunter pulled out a leather wallet, and showed the man what looked to Hazel like a blank piece of paper. "There, see? The Hunter, plus one. I'm the Hunter, this is Hazel Norton. She's my plus one. Is that all right?"

The Steward blinked. "Well, obviously. Apologies, et cetera. If you're on board, we'd better start. Enjoy." He strode over to a podium with a microphone attached.

"The paper's slightly psychic," the Hunter told Hazel. "It shows them whatever I want them to see. Saves a lot of time."

"He's blue. An alien, right?" Hazel checked. When the Hunter nodded, she sighed. "How comes he's speaking English?"

"That'll be the TARDIS. She translates for you. Meant to mention it earlier, sorry." The Hunter bit her lip.

"Okay," Hazel nodded. "That's... cool."

"We have in attendance the Hunter and Hazel Norton. Thank you," the steward announced. "All staff to their positions." Several people who only came up to Hazel's waist appeared and started bustling around. "Hurry now, thank you. Quick as we can. Come along, come along. And now, might I introduce the next honoured guest? Representing the Forest of Cheam, we have trees, namely, Jabe, Lute, and Coffa."

Hazel blinked as a bark-skinned woman entered with two larger male escorts. "Oh, he really meant trees," she realised.

"Yep," the Hunter agreed.

"There will be an exchange of gifts representing peace. if you could keep the room circulating, thank you," the Steward requested. "Next, from the solicitors Jolco and Jolco, we have the Moxx of Balhoon."

The Hunter started patting down her pockets, and cursed when she didn't come up with anything. "Hazel, got anything we could use as gifts?"

The girl shook her head. "No, sorry."

"It's okay, doesn't matter," the Hunter told her. "This is going to be interesting."

The trio of trees stopped in front of the Hunter and Hazel. "The Gift of Peace. I bring you a cutting of my Grandfather." Jabe handed Hazel a rooted twig in a small pot.

"Thank you," the Hunter smiled politely, which Hazel noticed looked a lot different to one of her genuine smiles. "Yes, gifts. Uh, I give you in return a... a Kiss of Tranquillity." She leaned forwards and gave Jabe a quick peck on the mouth.

"How intimate," Jabe smiled.

"There's more where that came from," the Hunter winked.

"I bet there is." Jabe and her bodyguards moved on.

Hazel chanced a glance at the Hunter. "That was a nice gift."

The Hunter raised an eyebrow. "There's a queue.  Besides, it was either that or we each lose a few hairs as 'cuttings of ourselves'. I figured you'd prefer the kiss. My brother would've --" She froze, clearing her throat.

"From the Silver Devastation, the sponsor of the main event, please welcome the Face of Boe," the Steward declared.

A squat blue alien rolled up to them on his travel pod. "Ah, the Moxx of Balhoon," the Hunter greeted.

"My felicitations on this historical happenstance," he replied. "I give you the gift of bodily salivas." He spat at them, and it hit Hazel in the face.

"Thank you very much," the Hunter snickered, blowing him a kiss in return. Next was a group of black-robed bipeds. "The Adherents of the Repeated Meme. I bring you a Kiss of Tranquillity." She blew them a kiss.

From underneath a robe, a large metal hand held out a silver ball. "A gift of peace in all good faith."

"Thanks," the Hunter nodded, taking the ball as she handed Hazel a tissue to get rid of the Moxx's spit.

"And last but not least, our very special guest. Ladies and gentlemen, and trees and multiforms, consider the Earth below," the Steward began. "In memory of this dying world, we call forth the last Human. The Lady Cassandra O'Brien Dot Delta Seventeen."

Hazel frowned as she saw a face in a piece of skin stretched in a rectangular frame was wheeled in. "The last Human?"

"The last pure human," the Hunter corrected, her lip curling in distaste. "If you can call that pure."

"Oh now, don't stare," Cassandra chastised in an aristocratic voice. "I know, I know, it's shocking, isn't it? I've had my chin completely taken away and look at the difference. Look how thin I am. Thin and dainty. I don't look a day over two thousand. Moisturise me. Moisturise me." One of the two men who'd wheeled her in sprayed her skin with something, and she relaxed.

"Truly, I am the last Human," she continued. "My father was a Texan, my mother was from the Arctic Desert. They were born on the Earth, and were the last to be buried in its soil. I have come to honour them and say goodbye." Cassandra sniffed dramatically. "Oh, no tears, no tears. I'm sorry. But behold, I bring gifts. From Earth itself, the last remaining ostrich egg. Legend says it had a wingspan of fifty feet and blew fire from it's nostrils. Or was that my third husband?" She chuckled. "Oh, no. Oh, don't laugh. I'll get laughter lines. And here, another rarity."

Hazel frowned, walking around the room to see just how thin Cassandra was, and turned to see a 50's jukebox being wheeled in. She didn't notice the Hunter watching her with an eagle eye, evaluating how she was taking things. "According to the archives, this was called an iPod," Cassandra announced. "It stores classical music from humanity's greatest composers. Play on!" Hazel shook her head a little as Tainted Love began to play.

"Refreshments will now be served. Earth Death in thirty minutes," the Steward stated.

Hazel caught the Hunter's eye and mouthed "I'm sorry" before running off out of the door to try and clear her head somewhere away from all the aliens. The Hunter made to follow her, but Jabe interrupted her. "Hunter?" she asked, snapping a picture with her device. "Thank you." The Hunter looked at her weirdly before leaving.

***

Hazel found herself in a corridor with a window, and stood there for a while, watching the sun. A young woman came round the corner, looking similar to the Steward, except she was wearing overalls and a baseball cap. "Sorry," Hazel muttered. "Am I allowed to be in here?"

The woman winced. "You have to give us permission to talk," she whispered.

"Uh, you have... permission?"

"Thank you," the woman smiled. "And no, you're not in the way. Guests are allowed anywhere."

"Okay," Hazel nodded, watching as the woman went over and unlocked a wall panel. "What's your name?"

"Raffalo."

"Raffalo? I'm Hazel."

"That's a lovely name, miss," Raffalo complimented. "I won't be long, I've just got to carry out some maintenance. There's a tiny little glitch in the Face of Boe's suite. There must be something blocking the system. He's not getting any hot water."

"You're a plumber," Hazel realised.

Raffalo grinned. "That's right, miss."

"They still have plumbers?"

"I hope so," Raffalo joked, "else I'm out of a job."

Hazel smiled. "Where are you from?"

"Crespallion," Raffalo replied.

"That a planet, is it?" Hazel asked.

"No. Crespallion's part of the Jaggit Brocade, affiliated to the Scarlet Junction, Convex fifty six. And where are you from, miss?" Raffalo paused. "If you don't mind me asking."

"No, not at all," Hazel shook her head, looking out of the window at the Earth. "Uh, I don't know. A long way away. I just sort of hitched a lift with this woman. I didn't even think about it. I don't even know who she is. She's a complete stranger." She sighed. "Anyway, don't let me keep you. Good luck with it."

"Thank you, miss," Raffalo smiled. "And er, thank you for the permission. Not many people are that considerate."

Hazel nodded, smiling shyly. "Okay. See you later." She made her way back to the area that they'd first arrived in.

"Would the owner of the blue box in private gallery fifteen please report to the Steward's office immediately. Guests are reminded that use of teleportation devices is strictly forbidden under Peace Treaty five point four slash cup slash sixteen. Thank you."

She rolled her eyes, going inside and sitting next to the steps, putting the ball and pot down next to her.

"Earth Death in twenty five minutes."

Hazel sighed. "Oh, thanks." She picked up the plant pot and peered at it. "Hello. My name's Hazel. That's a sort of nut. We might be related." She checked herself, and sighed again. "I'm talking to a twig."

"Oi, now, careful with that. Park it properly. No scratches!" The Hunter's voice filtered through the door, and Hazel rolled her eyes. "Hazel? You in there?" She entered, and nodded when she saw the human. "What do you think, then?" she asked as she sat opposite.

"Great," Hazel sighed. "Yeah, fine. Once you get past the slightly psychic paper. They're just... so alien. The aliens are so alien. You look at 'em... and they're alien."

"Good thing I didn't take you to the Deep South," the Hunter quipped, allowing a small smirk to rise to her lips.

Hazel looked at her curiously. "Artemis... Where are you from?"

Though it had hardly been expressive before, the Hunter's face completely shut down, only her eyes showing the pain she felt at the memory of her home. "All over the place," she replied curtly.

"From what planet?" Hazel questioned, not missing the flicker of pain spreading across the Time Lady's face.

"It's not as if you'll know where it is!" the Hunter shot back.

"Where are you from?"

"What does it matter?!"

"Tell me who you are!" Hazel shouted.

"I can't!" the Hunter yelled. Hazel blinked, shocked into silence. "I can't tell you who I am, because I don't know. I just... I don't know who I am." She took a deep, shaky breath. "Please, Haze. Don't ask me to try."

Hazel's eyes had widened considerably. This was a different side to the Hunter than she had seen before. This wasn't angry, or stubborn, or snarky, or quirky, or reserved. This was pained, and exposed. This was frightening. "All right." She went over and sat next to the Hunter, tentatively putting her arm around the woman's shoulders. "It's okay, Art. As Mikey the Pikey always says, don't argue with the designated driver." She pulled out her phone. "Can't exactly call for a taxi. There's no signal. We're slightly out of range."

The Hunter tried for a smile. "Tell you what." She took Hazel's phone apart, glancing up at the girl. "Art?"

Hazel blushed a bit. "Yeah. Short for Artemis. I mean, if you don't like it, I -"

"No, it's cool. I love it," the Hunter assured her, before handing the phone back. "Try it now."

Mystified, Hazel hit speed dial. "Hello?" Jason's voice echoed into her ear.

"Jace?" Hazel asked, her eyes lighting up as she grinned.

"What's wrong, H? You never call in the middle of the day." Hazel laughed a little at hearing his voice while she was five billion years in the future. "What's so funny, squirt?"

"Nothing," Hazel lied. "You're all right, though?"

"Yeah, course I am." Jason sounded confused as usual. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"What day is it?" Hazel inquired.

"Wednesday, all day. You and Pikey got a hangover again?" Jason asked, sighing. "You're gonna have liver failure."

"Oh, shut up, you dipshit. I was just calling cause I might be late home," Hazel laughed.

There was a pause. "Haze, is something wrong?"

Hazel grinned. "No. I'm fine. Top of the world." She hung up, and looked at the Hunter, who was wearing a small smile too.

"You think that's amazing, wait till you see the bill," she joked.

"That was five billion years ago," Hazel realised. "So, he's dead now. Five billion years later, Jace's dead."

The Hunter rolled her eyes. "Bundle of laughs, you are." Both girls looked up as the space station shook vigorously for about thirty seconds. "That's not supposed to happen."

***

"That wasn't a gravity pocket," the Hunter was saying as she marched onto the Observation Deck with Hazel. "I know gravity pockets, and they don't feel like that." She beckoned to the trees. "What do you think, Jabe? Listen to the engines. They've pitched up about thirty Hertz. That dodgy or what?"

Jabe shook her head politely. "It's the sound of metal. It doesn't make any sense to me."

"Where's the engine room?" the Hunter questioned.

"I don't know, but the maintenance duct is just behind our guest suite. I could show you and your wife," Jabe offered.

The Hunter and Hazel shared a glance. "She's not my wife."

"Partner?"

"No."

"Concubine?"

"Nope."

"Prostitute?" Jabe asked innocently.

The Hunter didn't miss the way Hazel froze, her face losing all its colour. "Definitely not," the Time Lady stated, shooting Jabe a look.

Hazel took a deep breath, looking away for a second. "Whatever I am, it must be invisible. Do you mind?! Tell you what, you two go and pollinate. I'm going to catch up with family. Quick word with Michael Jackson." She turned to go and talk to Cassandra, but the Hunter caught her elbow.

"Don't start a fight," she ordered with a small smirk, before letting the human go and offering Jabe her arm, her face back in its usual expressionless mask. "I'm all yours."

"And I want you home by midnight!" Hazel called after them, smiling as the Hunter laughed.

***

"Earth Death in fifteen minutes. Earth Death in fifteen minutes."

"So who's in charge of Platform One?" the Hunter asked as she poked around in a maintenance duct. "Is there a Captain?"

"There's just the Steward and the staff," Jabe replied. "All the rest is controlled by the metal mind."

The Hunter frowned. "You mean the computer? But who controls that?"

"The Corporation. They move Platform One from one artistic event to another," Jabe answered.

"But there's no one from the Corporation on board," the Hunter sighed.

"They're not needed," Jabe assured her. "This facility is purely automatic. It's the height of the Alpha class. Nothing can go wrong?"

The Hunter raised an eyebrow. "Unsinkable?"

Jabe tilted her head. "If you like. The nautical metaphor is appropriate."

"You're telling me." The Hunter snorted. "I was on board another ship once. They said that was unsinkable. I ended up clinging to an iceberg. Nearly got frostbite. What you're saying is, if we get into trouble, there's no one to help us out?"

"I'm afraid not," Jabe agreed.

"Fantastic," the Hunter grinned, leading her through the pipes.

The tree frowned. "I don't understand. In what way is that fantastic?"

***

Cassandra sighed as she watched the Earth and the sun, with Hazel standing next to her. "Soon, the sun will blossom into a red giant, and my home will die. That's where I used to live, when I was a little boy, down there. Mummy and Daddy had a little house built into the side of the Los Angeles Crevice. I'd have so much fun."

"What happened to everyone else?" Hazel asked. "The human race, where did it go?"

"They say mankind has touched every star in the sky," Cassandra replied.

"Right," Hazel dragged the word out sarcastically. "So you're not  the last human."

Cassandra scoffed. "I am the last pure human. The others mingled. Oh, they call themselves New humans and Proto-humans and Digi-humans, even Humanish, but you know what I call them? Mongrels."

Hazel narrowed her eyes. "And you stayed behind."

"I kept myself pure," Cassandra agreed.

"How many operations have you had?" Hazel wondered.

"Seven hundred and eight." Hazel's jaw dropped. "Next week, it's seven hundred and nine. I'm having my blood bleached." Cassandra eyed her. "Is that why you wanted a word? You could be flatter, Hazel. You've got a little bit of a chin poking out."

Hazel raised her eyebrows. "I'd rather die."

"Honestly, it doesn't hurt," Cassandra assured her.

"No, I mean it. I would rather die. It's better to die than live like you, a bitchy trampoline."

Cassandra gasped. "Oh, well. What do you know."

"I was born on that planet, and so was my mum, and so was my dad, and that makes me officially the last human being in this room, cause you're not human," Hazel shook her head in disgust. "You've had it all nipped and tucked and flattened till there's nothing left. Anything human got chucked in the bin. You're just skin, Cassandra. Lipstick and skin. Nice talking." She marched off, but the Face of Boe looked at her from the corner, and she heard a voice in her head.

"Hello, Hazel."

She frowned, walking over to him. "Was that you in my mind?"

"Yes, it was. I wanted to talk to you about the Hunter."

Hazel blinked. "The Hunter? What do you mean?"

"You should trust her," the Face advised. "She will help you blossom into an incredible woman."

Strangely enough, Hazel found herself trusting the Face, as if they had already met. "I want to. She's... she's amazing. But there's so much I can't tell her. About my mum, what happened to my dad. She doesn't even know my real surname."

The Face eyed her knowingly. "She has her own haunting past. If she is to open up, you must do so too. The Hunter's memories scar her far more than any injury. The people she has lost were dearer to her than anything else, and she blames herself for their demises. She is a broken woman, Hazel, and only you can help her. She has no one else."

***

The Hunter smiled politely as they walked along. "So tell me, Jabe, what's a tree like you doing in a place like this?"

"Respect for the Earth," Jabe replied, shrugging.

"Really?" the Hunter raised an eyebrow.

Jabe nodded. "We respect the Earth as family. So many species evolved from that planet. mankind is only one. I'm another. My ancestors were transplanted from the planet down below, and I'm a direct descendant of the tropical rainforest."

"Huh. Excuse me." The Hunter used her sonic screwdriver to try and get through a computer-controlled door lock.

"And what about your ancestry, Hunter?" The Time Lady froze. "Perhaps you could tell a story or two. Perhaps a girl only enjoys trouble when there's nothing else left." Jabe sighed. "I scanned you earlier. The metal machine had trouble identifying your species. It refused to admit your existence. And even when it named you, I wouldn't believe it. But it was right. I know where you're from. Forgive me for intruding, but it's remarkable that you even exist. I just wanted to say how sorry I am." Jabe put her hand on the Hunter's shoulder, and the Time Lady took a deep breath before getting the door open, brushing a tear from her cheek brusquely.

The pair of them walked through the door into a room with a series of massive oscillating fans. "Is it me," the Hunter began, her face expressionless as she regained her composure, "or is it a bit cold? I mean, that's an effective method of air conditioning. Sort of nice and old fashioned. Wonder if they call it retro." She scanned a panel with her sonic. "Gotcha." She pulled the panel off, and a metal spider scuttled out and up the wall. "What the hell is that?"

"Is it part of the retro?" Jabe asked.

The Hunter snorted. "I don't think so. Hold on." She aimed her screwdriver at the spider, but Jabe lassoed it. "Hey, nice liana."

Jabe blushed a deeper green. "Thank you. We're not supposed to show them in public."

"Don't worry, I won't tell anybody," the Hunter winked, picking up the inert spider and sonicing it. "Now then. Who's been bringing their pets on board?"

"What does it do?" Jabe inquired.

"Sabotage," the Hunter replied darkly. "And the temperature's about to rocket. Come on."

"Earth Death in ten minutes."

***

They came across a corridor that was slowly filling with smoke. The little assistants were swarming the area, carefully not stepping in the bit where unfiltered sunlight was shining through the Steward's windows. "Hold on, get back," the Hunter ordered. She soniced the access panel for the room.

"Sun filter rising. Sun filter rising."

"Is the Steward in there?!" Jabe asked, horrified.

The Hunter nodded gravely. "You can smell him. Hold on, there's another sun filter programmed to descend." She ran off, leaving Jabe to usher the small assistants away.

***

Hazel groaned as she stirred on the floor of the room they'd arrived in.

"Sun filter descending. Sun filter descending. Sun filter descending."

Hearing this, Hazel shot upright, in time to see the piercing glare start to fill the room. She sprinted for the door, trying to get out, then hammering on it when she realised it was locked. "Let me out! Let me out!"

"Sun filter descending."

"Let me out! Let me out! Let me out!"

"Sun filter descending. Sun filter descending."

Suddenly, a familiar voice called from outside. "Anyone in there?"

"Artemis! Let me out!" Hazel cried, banging on the door.

"Oh, well, it would be you," the Hunter sighed.

"Open the door!" Hazel shouted.

"Hold on, I'm working on it."

"Sun filter descending. Sun filter descending. Sun filter rising Sun filter rising. Sun filter rising Sun filter rising. Sun filter descending."

Hazel heard the Hunter curse outside. "Just what we need. The computer's getting clever."

"Art, please!" Hazel screamed, running down the steps to avoid being hit by the deadly rays.

"Haze, I need you to try and keep calm for me. Which I know is a really stupid thing to say, but trust me, okay?" the Hunter asked.

Hazel nodded, breathing heavily. "Okay. Calm. I can do calm. What exactly is happening right now?"

"I'm trying to override the computer, raise the sun filter. The computer's fighting back," the Hunter replied.

Hazel whimpered as the light got closer. "Art!"

"I know," the Hunter soothed.

"The lock's melted!"

"Sun filter descending. Sun filter descending. Sun filter rising. Sun filter rising."

"Hazel?" The girl ran back up to the door as the Hunter called her name.

"I'm okay!"

"The whole thing's jammed," the Hunter told her. "I can't open the doors. Stay there!"

Hazel rolled her eyes. "Where am I going to go, Ipswich?"

***

"Earth Death in five minutes."

Jabe sighed. "The metal machine confirms. The spider devices have infiltrated the whole of Platform One."

"How's that possible?" Cassandra gasped dramatically. "Our private rooms are protected by a code wall. Moisturise me, moisturise me."

"Summon the Steward," the Moxx of Balhoon suggested.

"I'm afraid the Steward is dead," Jabe announced, wincing at the general outcry from the other guests.

"Who killed him?" the Moxx demanded.

"This whole event was sponsored by the Face of Boe," Cassandra pointed out. "He invited us. Talk to the Face. Talk to the Face."

The Hunter entered, holding a wriggling mechanical spider. "There's an easy way of finding out who's responsible. Someone bought their little pet on board. Let's send him back to master." She put the spider down, and it scuttled over to Cassandra, scanning her, before going to the black-robed group.

"The Adherents of the Repeated Meme. J'accuse!" Cassandra exclaimed.

"That's very well, and really kind of obvious," the Hunter said, rolling her eyes, "but if you stop and think about it..." She walked over to the Adherents, and when the leader tried to knock her out, she grabbed its robotic arm, yanking it off. "A Repeated Meme is just an idea. And that's all they are, an idea." She pulled on one of the wires dangling from the arm, and the Adherents all collapsed. "Remote controlled droids. Nice cover for the real troublemaker." She nudged the spider with her boot, and it scuttled over to Cassandra.

"I bet you were the school swot and never got kissed. At arms!" Cassandra cried. Her attendants raised their spray guns at the Hunter, who was unimpressed.

"What are you gonna do, moisturise me?" she raised her eyebrows.

"With acid!" Cassandra snapped, then sighed angrily. "Oh, you're too late anyway. My spiders have control of the mainframe. Oh, you all carried them as gifts, ta free, past every code wall. I'm not just a pretty face."

The Hunter crossed her arms. "Sabotaging a ship while you're still inside it? As plans go, that's pretty terrible."

Cassandra ignored the slight. "I'd hoped to manufacture a hostage situation with myself as one of the victims. The compensation would have been enormous."

"Five billion years, and it still comes down to money," the Hunter rolled her eyes.

"Do you think it's cheap, looking like this? Flatness costs a fortune. I am the last human, Hunter, me. Not that freaky little kid of yours." Cassandra blanched a little as the Hunter tilted her head, narrowing her eyes.

"Don't talk about Hazel like that," she warned icily.

"Arrest her, the infidel!" the Moxx cried.

"Oh, shut it, pixie!" Cassandra scowled. "I've still got my final option."

"Earth Death in three minutes."

"And here it comes," Cassandra smiled. "You're just as useful dead, all of you. I have shares in your rival companies, and they'll triple in price as soon as you're dead. My spiders are primed and ready to destroy the safety systems. How did that old Earth song go? Burn, baby, burn."

Jabe glared at her. "Then you'll burn with us."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I know the use of teleportation is strictly forbidden, but I'm such a naughty thing." Cassandra smirked. "Spiders, activate." The others struggled to keep their balance as a series of explosions rocked the Platform. "Forcefields gone with the planet about to explode. At least it'll be quick. Just like my fifth husband. Oh, shame on me."

"Safety systems failing."

"Bye, bye, darlings. Bye, bye, my darlings." Cassandra smiled as she and her attendants were beamed out.

"Heat levels rising."

"Reset the computer!" the Moxx of Balhoon shouted.

"Only the Steward would know how," Jabe protested.

The Hunter shook her head determinedly. "No. We can do it by hand. there must be a system restore switch. Jabe, come on. You lot, just chill." She smirked as she and Jabe ran out of the door.

***

"Earth Death in two minutes. Heat levels critical."

"Oh, and guess where the switch is," the Hunter groaned as they arrived back in the engine room, seeing the reset switch on the other side of the huge fans which were still turning. She pulled a breaker lever, and the fans slowed a little, but they sped up again as soon as she let go.

"External temperature five thousand degrees."

The Hunter stared as Jabe pulled the breaker, holding it in place. "You can't. The heat's going to vent through this place."

"I know," Jabe stated.

"Jabe, you're made of wood!" the Hunter exclaimed.

The tree fixed her with a steel look. "Then stop wasting time, Time Lady."

"Heat levels rising. Heat levels rising."

With a sigh, the Hunter nodded, and timed her walking past the first fan.

"Heat levels critical. Heat levels critical."

She glanced back at Jabe, then ran past the second fan.

"Heat levels hazardous. Heat levels hazardous."

Jabe started to combust, but she held onto the lever until she could not. When she let go, the fans sped up to faster than ever before, until they were just a blur in front of the Hunter's face.

"Planet explodes in ten..."

The Hunter looked back at Jabe, burning on the floor.

"Nine..."

She turned back to the lever, wondering how the hell she was going to get past the last fan.

"Eight..."

The Hunter closed her eyes, thinking of Hazel, trapped in Gallery 15, with nothing protecting her from the heat of the sun.

"Seven..."

She thought of Jason and how, if Hazel died here, she'd have to bring her body back to him, and watch his heart break at his sister's death.

"Six..."

She thought of herself, and what she would do without the human girl who had started changing her already.

"Five..."

She stepped past the last fan.

"Four..."

The Hunter opened her eyes, realising she had succeeded, and threw the reset switch. "Raise shields!" she yelled.

***

When Hazel entered the Observation Deck, the Hunter was talking to Jabe's bodyguards, giving them the bad news. As the two trees hugged each other, the Time Lady walked back over to the human, looking a little shell-shocked. "Are you all right?" Hazel asked softly, putting her hand on the woman's arm.

The Hunter nodded decisively. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm full of ideas, I'm bristling with them. Idea number one, teleportation through five thousand degrees needs some kind of feed. Idea number two, this feed must be hidden nearby." She grabbed the ostrich egg Cassandra had brought and smashed it open to reveal a small triangular device. "Idea number three, if you're as clever as I am, then a teleportation feed can be reversed." She pushed some of the device's buttons, and they heard Cassandra's voice before she appeared in front of them.

"Oh, you should have seen their little alien faces," Cassandra laughed, before realising where she was. "Oh."

"The last human." The Hunter shook her head in disgust.

Cassandra looked scared. "So, you passed my little test. Bravo. That makes you eligible to join, er, the Human Club."

"People have died, Cassandra. You murdered them," Hazel accused.

"Remind me of your past, freak?" Cassandra shot back, and the girl blanched, stepping back a little. "Besides, it depends on your definition of people, and that's enough of a technicality to keep your lawyers dizzy for centuries." She smirked at the Hunter, who was glaring right back. "Take me to court then, Hunter, and watch me smile and cry and flutter -"

"And creak?" the Time Lady asked.

"What?" Cassandra frowned.

"Creak. You're creaking," the Hunter pointed out emotionlessly.

"What?! Ah!" Cassandra wailed. "I'm drying out! Oh, sweet heavens. Moisturise me, moisturise me! Where are my surgeons? My lovely boys! It's too hot!"

"You raised the temperature," the Hunter reminded her. "Look what you've done to yourself."

"Have pity! Moisturise me! Oh, oh, Hunter! I'm sorry! I'll do anything!"

"Aren't you going to help her?" Hazel whispered.

The Hunter shook her head, her eyes fixed on the skin. "Everything has its time and everything dies." She leaned a little closer to Cassandra. "You tried to kill my friend. That was a mistake."

"I'm too young!" Cassandra cried, and the Hunter didn't even flinch when the skin grew too taut and dry, and exploded.

***

Hazel was stood looking out into space long after the other guests had gone. She heard the Hunter's familiar booted footsteps behind her as the woman came to stand by her side. "The end of the Earth. It's gone. We were too busy saving ourselves, no one saw it go. All those years, all that history, and no one was even looking. It's just..." Hazel trailed off, shaking her head.

Watching her, the Hunter made a decision, and held out her hand. "Come with me."

***

The pair of them stepped out of the TARDIS onto a busy London street. The Hunter watched people going about their lives for a moment before sighing. "You think it'll last forever, people and cars and concrete, but it won't. One day, it's all gone, even the sky." She swallowed, and Hazel squeezed her hand encouragingly. "My planet's gone." The human's eyes widened. "It's dead. It burned like the Earth. It's just rocks and dust before its time."

Hazel gaped at the Time Lady. "What happened?"

She raised her eyebrows briefly, ignoring the tears in her eyes. "There was a war. And we lost."

"A war with who?" Hazel asked. The Hunter didn't reply, so she changed tack. "What about your people?"

The Hunter sighed. "I'm not just a Time Lady. I'm the last of the Time Lords. They're all gone. my friends, my family, everyone. I'm the only survivor. I'm left travelling on my own, because there's no one else."

"There's me," Hazel offered shyly.

"You've seen how dangerous it is," the Hunter pointed out. "Do you want to go home?"

Hazel shook her head decisively. How could she leave the Time Lady on her own again? "No way. I want..." she trailed off, sniffing. "Oh, can you smell chips?"

The Hunter eyed her in amusement before nodding. "Yeah. Yeah, I can."

"I want chips," Hazel murmured.

"Me too," the Hunter agreed.

"Right then, before you get me back in that box, chips it is, and you can pay," Hazel decided.

The Hunter smiled a little, shrugging. "No money."

Hazel rolled her eyes, grinning. "What sort of date are you? Come on then, tightwad, chips are on me. We've only got five billion years till the shops close." She pulled the Hunter along with her as she ran through the crowds, heading for the nearest chip shop, and the girls both laughed as they nearly ran into a business man.

~~~

If you enjoyed, please like and/or reblog, and consider helping me stay afloat by donating to my Kofi! Thanks for reading :)

[wingedweasel]

Would you rather...

Sorry for the super long post, but...

So my eyes were i a hostage situation with Twitter earlier, and I noticed a bunch of people posting things like ‘would you rather have $X or $Y?’ where x is an extremely huge amount and Y is a comically smaller amount. One was along the lines of ‘would you rather have one billion dollars all at once or 15 cents every day?’ The point of these is to bring up the idea of passive income and how it’s better to have steady income over large lump sums.

However, when it’s these comically small amounts, it would be better to have the lump sum. There was one that offered one million vs one dollar every day. Ummm, the million...? Every time. I’d choose the lump sum. Sure if it’s something like one million vs 10,000 every month, then okay, yeah, the parsed out payments would be better. I mean, yeah, it would take 10 years to get the same amount, but you would be getting more in the long run. Also, in these hypotheticals, there is no end date, so taking the monthly payment would be better since you could assume that you would keep getting the payments until you die. 

But - and this is the thing that got me questioning if I was missing something - why would anyone take the super small amount? If it was $1 a day, rounding all months to have 30 days, then you’d only be getting 360 a year, 3600 in 10 years. Why would anyone want that compared to having the lump sum of 1 million? 

What could you even do in that situation anyway? We’ve all seen those commercials “With $1 a day, you could save the life of a child/animal” uh...but I wouldn’t be spending $1 a day. I’d have to pay a large amount, that  yes, technically comes out to $1 a day, but I wouldn’t be getting a daily charge of $1. Getting $1 a day wouldn’t help anyone. As I said before, that’s less than 1000 a year. Even if it was somehow able to pass along to your descendants, it would take 2-3 of your descendants’ lifetimes to get to 1 million. And this is all assuming that you never touch any of that money in all of these lifetimes. 

I’m sorry, but no. That’s not gonna work for me. Especially if it’s something stupid like 15 cents a day. No, gimme the lump sum and I’d show you that I could make more with that lump sum than any low daily amount. 

This piggy backs off my belief of ‘sort yourself out before trying to sort other people out.’ This stems from having to grow up watching the people around me run themselves ragged trying to help others out of financial binds while they didn’t have the funds to do. I’d usually get the shaft because of that, and any financial decisions I had to make - when I was actually able to make them - had to go through this kind of tiered system and rank what I wanted to do over the wants (not needs) of other people. It sucked, still does since I’m still stuck in this system because of the decisions of other people’s past mistakes and temper tantrums. But yeah, that’s why I believe that a person should help themselves before they help others. I get that this comes off as selfish or egocentric, very ‘me first’ Americanism, and on one hand it is, but it doesn’t mean I (and the hypothetical others) don’t give to the poor or help others when they need it. It just means that I don’t think it’s good for you when you are guilted (or tricked depending on how you look at it) into opening a credit card to a tire shop when you don’t even have a license so that your sister can get her car fixed even though she has a very well paid job, but for some reason can’t afford to pay her bills and continues to not learn from her past mistakes by spending all her money as soon as she gets paid, constantly going on trips to Vegas, and seems to be always doing some money spending activity every weekend. 

Why are you asking if this was something that happened to me? What ever gave you that idea?

Anyway, getting back on tract of proving the lump sum is better: First, obviously, I’d pay off my debts. For me, I’m fortunate enough that it isn’t a massive amount, still a lot, but not hundreds of thousands. I won’t have to worry about a huge amount that I have to pay every month and not have to decide which bill gets the late fee this time. School loans, credit cards, not so much debits but a few people have gifted me various amounts to help pay my tuition, so I’d want to pay them back. I don’t have to because they were gifts, but I feel guilty that I had to ask them for money. 

Next, I would sort out my living situation. I would move to a better neighborhood in which I would buy a house there. I would also take the time to learn to drive and buy a car. I would have to outfit my new home, and while that can take a good chunk of money, second hand stores, Craigslist and the castaways from friends would help with a lot of that. I’d need to outfit almost everything because I would not be living with anyone else except my fur babies. In this fantasy, I’m saying fuck everyone else, I’m moving far far away from my family of leeches and never seeing seeing them again. I might send birthday/holiday cards/gifts to the ones I kinda get on with like my nieces and the one uncle that is actually a decent person, but everyone else can piss right the fuck off. They took advantage of me whenever I had money - more often when I didn’t have money and somehow managed to squeeze everything out of me then - so why should I help them when I have money now? Harsh? Absolutely. Petty? As fuck. 

After that, I’d invest. Obviously. If the point of the would you rather was to teach about the benefits of sustained constant income, then investing is the best way to do that. Investing in companies that have a history of doing well. Having a diverse portfolio is something that I’ve heard wealthy people talk about, so if one investment doesn’t pan out, I wouldn’t lose everything. Sounds...sound. I’d also take the time to invest in me. I’d finally be able to afford the hobbies and skills that I couldn’t before. I’d take back up with music and be able to afford lessons. I do better when someone is beside me telling me what I’m doing wrong and showing me how to do it correctly. Ex, I tried learning Japanese outside of a class setting and just couldn’t wrap my head around the basic sentence structure: XはYです. For some reason, my brain couldn’t figure out that x and y were nouns and it basically translates to X is Y. My brain freaked out, and I just couldn’t. However, day 1 of class, the figurative lightbulb went off and went “oh.” and laughed for a solid 10 minuets as soon as I got home. Musical instruments are the same way. I’ve tried to lear guitar and violin several times, but all without an instructor. Can’t do it. Hiring a personal trainer would be helpful as well. Getting someone to kick me in the butt about my fitness would go a long way in helping me reach my goals. Language tutors as well. I’ve maxed out my ability to learn at the community collage I take classes at, even though it’s been over 10 years since I took those classes, but I passed them so they’ve said screw you. While technically I could do all these things for free - there are various websites, YT tutorials, and Duolingo - like I said, I need that live teacher/student interaction for it to click. 

Finally, as I said above, help yourself before you help others, so now that I’ve helped myself, I can now start helping others. Not my family. Fuck them. However, there are friends that have helped me so much over the years, and now that there is money that I can actually use - remember those investments? They’d have started to see returns by now - I can now start ‘paying’ them back for all that they did. It may not always be money that they would give, just being a shoulder to cry on meant more than anything at times so they’d deserve something as compensation for putting up with my issues. However, because I would now be in a good place. I could literally afford to go ‘here, here is a little something to show how much you mean to me and as a small step in saying thank you for all that you did.’ I could also now go, ‘I see you are struggling, so here is something that you can use to help get out of the bad situation.’ This was - and still is - something that made me feel so guilty that I couldn’t do when I was younger. I’d see a friend need something - or even just really want, we were kids after all - but I sometimes couldn’t even spare a dollar to help them. Helping others also means gifting to charity. I have always wanted to be able to donate to charities, to give money to panhandlers - I don’t care some of them use the money for drugs or alcohol, the small amount who do do that shouldn’t cause you to not give to those who don’t - remember those commercials from before? Even if some of the charities suck major ass, there are some really good ones that I would love to be a donor. I could afford to be a Patron member for certain YTers, I could donate to small Twitch streamers. Kickstarters and GoFundMes would see my name on the donor list. Animal shelters and children’s hospitals; after school programs and community centers; friends and neighbors. I could do so much.

But it certainly wouldn’t happen if I received $1 a day. 

[hypnotica-ships]

how abouuuuut... 1,3 and 4 too?

Oh boy, this got suuuuuuuuuper long, but I’ve been holding a lot of this in, and I didn’t even get to mention the crow raisings...I’ve tried to keep this short and skipped a ton of things, so if you want some more info about anything, let me know, I”d be more than happy to answer! The last two questions will be under the cut, cause wow, can I talk....

1. What is your s/i's name & pronouns? Legally- Mathew E. Sionis However, only a few very close people know it, and even then they all still call him Crow. Even when he still had his deadname. No one but him and his father know what the "E." stands for. Also he goes by He/Him and They/Them. Mostly the first set though.

3. Does your s/i have a full backstory yet? Or is it still in the works? If it's done can we see it? Oh boy, do I. It's fairly messy, and you need to keep in mind that the first media I inserted myself into was DC Comics, plus I was 15 and never knew about the whole Self-Shipping Community until like last year, thanks btw. It gets dark and some spots, my bad, blame 15 year old edgelord Crow.

Let's start at the beginning yeah? Crow was born the second child to Circe, not much is know about her, and Roman Sionis who at the time had just started to make his name big in the underground crime scene, in Gotham City. She had an older brother and a younger brother, each sibling was born with some darker magic powers, but showed no sign of it at the time they were in his care. After Crow's younger brother was born (both siblings have names, but I'm a bit shy about saying who each one is, but as we'll see later, they don't really get along anyways...), their mother died. Which sent Roman into a bit of a spiral, he became incredibly paranoid. He thought the only way to save his children (who are all a year apart, so the oldest is about 2 and a half to three) was to kill them, but he had a hard time doing it directly after what he did to the older brother.... So he sent the other babies away in basket down a stream hope that would solve the problem. There was a fork in the stream, one child went one way while the other one went another. Crow's way went into a run off into a sewer, not just any sewer, (oh boy...here we go...) the Arkham Asylum sewer, where a big ole' Mr. Killer Croc found what he thought was a dead child. Once he realized the child was still alive, he tried his best to get one of the orderlies of the Asylum's attention. They....had no idea what to do, so (even though I"m pretty sure they probably would of sent the child to an orphanage...) they decided to have the inmates, with constant security around, raise the child (15 year old me had some ideas....to bad i never changed this...).

Yadda yadda yadda, time skip, Crow now has realized she has shadomancy powers and just basic magic as well, but no clue how to use em, so they 'wing it', they also have a pretty good gig at stealing things, since she can travel through the shadows real sneaky like. She finds out at some point who her dad is, and the younger brother, Crow is furious, and vows to never speak to her father ever again, but he insists on buying her love and gives her an "allowance" of like a billion a month, but she refuses to keep it all and only saves enough to live on while the rest gets sent to charity. She's about 13 at this point and has bought out an old hotel to live in that was ment to be torn down, so it's basically falling apart except for one room and the roof. Safe enough to live in though. Yadda yadda, still the same age, she meets Lonnie while looking for one of her pet crows that went into his cell at juvie, stuff happens they become friends, he finds out about her living situation, tells his folks, and now they basically adopted her. Crow and Lonnie cause trouble for a few years as a fucking awesome team. When they are around 16 or so, Jamm just shows up, and he needs a place to stay, and at this point Crow's hotel is fixed up a bit more thanks to help from Lonnie. So they let him stay in an extra room.

He now forever part of this group.

They make a band, The Nest, but it's kind of a cover up for vigilantism. At this point, since I like to keep things as cannon as possible, Lonnie fakes his death, which cause Crow to spiral, similar to how her father did when he lost her mother. It's sad and depressing time, lot of plot points, but I'll try to sum it up: Drinking problems, lots of failed relationships good and bad, possible murder, the older brother comes back and explains some stuff he may also be Satan, Crow and Jamm bonding time, and ect.

I dunno, about 18-ish now or whatever, I really don’t have the best concept of time, Crow dates Jimmy, thanks to some old connections with Lois who set them up, it goes pretty well, Crow is healing. She's not fully healed though, and Jimmy recommends getting out of Gotham since it seems to make things worse and she needs a vacation. Cool, she'll just move to Metropolis where Jimmy lives, nah, doesn't last long, but she does take a trip to Washington D.C. Crow sees a figure on the roof tops lurking around on her trip. One rainy night she confronts it, whoops, Lonnie is still alive! They end up fighting about him not telling her for a few months or so, until he finally says he's sorry. Crow and Jimmy adventures happen, (such as Crow finding out about her Uncle Guile and meets Holger and Marnie, which leads into like a year long hijinks, one relationship that ended in an uncertain way, and now Crow goes back home but has a distant little sibling now, they call and text each other now and again, even go out to lunch), but Crow is still not happy, and Jimmy takes note. Stuff happens, and he proposes.....Crow says no. She realized that she.....probably should of been a he. Crow with this knowledge dumps Jimmy, he takes it well and understands, but Crow still feels bad about it.

After, Crow moves back to Gotham, he talks to Lonnie about going about transitioning. He helps Crow with the whole process, killing whatever ill will was left form the faking death for years bit.

Crow's about 19-20 now, dates Jimmy again, he takes him to meet his cousin Archie in Riverdale. As he visits, he notices a kid and his dad. Said dad is....abusive....and Crow takes note. Stuff happens, Crow and Jimmy breakup again, but Crow moves to Riverdale, cause he needed a change and felt happy there. He remembers the dad and kid, and confronts them, big mess happens, and now Crow has an adopted son, Reggie (who's about 16). Tiny time skip, more garbage happens and then a dying bloodied kid shows up on Crow's doorstep, after helping him and saving his life he asks about the kids family, stuff happens, and now he has kid x2, Julian (also 16, but like 5 months older then Reggie, who hates that.) Stuff happens. Crow is happy with his family and the occasional visits from Uncle Lonnie and Uncle Jamm really help keep Crow sane, (a lot of trauma, a lot of mental issues here, same s/i, same) things are about to get a lot more interesting when the band Reggie is in is asked to open for Josie and the Pussycats....

4. How did your s/i feel when they first met your f/o(s)? How do they feel about them now? I decided to kinda make this a continuation of 3.

Crow was hanging out backstage of his son's performance, checking out the food and making himself a little serving even though the sign said "For band members only!". All of a sudden, a guy in a blue suit, sunglasses and a smug aura about him, slid up next to him. Crow immediately did not trust this man.

Dude asked if Crow was THEE Crow from the Nest, mentioned he was a fan, and wondered what they were up to since they went silent a few years ago. Crow answered as nice as he could, against his better judgement. This guy, Alexander, had the gull to offer him a contract to manage The Nest to "give them a second chance..." The Nest need not a second chance, if they wanted to go big, they would of years ago without this clown’s help.

Yadda yadda yadda, Alex doesn't stop pushing, and Crow ends up becoming a sort of mentor to the Pussycats, while also helping them keep their manager at bay, aka a distraction. Crow and Alex somehow become friends after he realizes that Alex was super lonely growing up and at this point Crow might be his only friend besides the Pussycats (who pay him/he pays them). They get quite close, and Crow, even though he hates that he let this happen, kinda has a major soft spot for this dork.

It took them over a year or so to finally tell each other that though. Not my fault they needed to go through a bunch of agnst/yearning adventures....

Sorry this got super long, but oh boy, did it feel good to finally get this off my chest. I clearly skipped a ton to keep this "short", but that doesn't mean I don't have those ideas fully fleshed out. So if in any point in the future you want me to elaborate, I"d be more than happy too! Thanks for the ask, and sorry to bombard you with a huge wall of text. <3

[smolbeandrabbles]

Sway Pt.10 - Finale/Epilogue - Danny Rayburn x Reader (Bloodline)

Thank you to @mandy23b for her creative direction on this 😘

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6  / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9

Author’s Note: @stcphstrange I dedicate Sway to you. After Part 1 this series was no longer mine, but yours. And without you, none of this would ever have happened. I’ve said it a billion times, but words are genuinely not enough anymore. I owe this to you. Thank you ❤ This is the culmination of everything. If you want to know why I did what I did... The final scene here was always how this story was going to end.  There’s so much throwback in this, it makes me really happy. Everything is left exactly where it should be. So I hope you enjoy the final part of this ride. 💜 This is for Danny! 💙 Disclaimer: As usual no characters from Bloodline are mine! Lyrics/Song not mine! Everyone else is fair game! Speaking of Lyrics, I gift you a playlist of every song I’ve used chronologically! Enjoy the Swaylist! Premise: After nearly 4 years, Danny Rayburn and you deserved to leave a Legacy that matched your love. It was up to you now to make that a reality... Words: 14,500+ Warnings: Swearing / A little bit of angst / Child Birth / Bloodline spoilers

Dearest Reader, This story was never Danny’s. It was always yours. Thank you for taking this journey with me, Linzi x

---  Man, this shit's unflatterin', all up in my head again I don't feel myself right now, maybe I should just lay down... I don't like myself right now, gotta find a way out What you feel is natural But I don't wanna feel this anymore Pick yourself up off the kitchen floor What you waitin' for? Girl, won't you stop your cryin'? I know that you're tryin' Everything's gonna be okay Baby girl, don't you hang your head low Don't you lose your halo Everyone's gonna be okay Baby girl Girl don’t hand your head low Don't lose your halo, don't lose your halo Girl, don't hang your head low Don't lose your halo, oh Girl, don't you stop your cryin' I know that you're tryin' Everything's gonna be okay Baby girl, don't you hang your head low Don't you lose your halo Everyone's gonna be okay Baby girl Everyone's gonna okay, baby... --- Your Parents House, Pre-Marco Meeting… “Y/N... I was thinking of sending a sympathy card to the Rayburn’s... do you want to sign it? Or will you send your own?” You turned around and looked at your mother like she was insane “Sorry? Who are you sending a card to?!” “Sally...” she read the look on your face again as it got worse... “...Or, maybe not. But I think we should give Nolan one.” “That’s better... much more appropriate. It’s not like they’re sending ME one is it? And I know who was more family out of Miami and the Keys. Hell, they should be sending YOU one.” “... Why do you hate them so much?” She asked it curiously, she wasn’t accusing you of anything. You sighed; “Everything they have ever done to Danny they have got away with... he sent me a letter I.... I just think they may well have had a lot to do with his death too... you know that shoulder thing I told you about?” “Yes... the car accident.” “Shit, really?!” You couldn’t believe it “They lied to you too?! Robert beat that injury into him. Because of what happened with Sarah... and they held Sarah over him for the rest of his life. You know they didn’t want Eve to have Nolan either right?” She put her pen down and crossed to you. You didn’t expect her to throw her arms around you; “Niña... why didn’t you say something?” “It’s not my place to come between you and your friends... or my business to tell you about Danny’s... But, now he’s gone... I kinda can’t stand you not knowing.” “Have you told your father?” You nodded “Yeah. As soon as he gave me the restaurant project... he needed to know everything...” “Then I will talk to him...” “About what?” You father had said some pretty choice words; you figured ties would be severed... You didn’t know how you felt about being the cause of the termination of an almost 15-year long friendship. But after Danny, you couldn’t help but think the Rayburn’s deserved it and your parents needed better friends. “Finding somewhere else in the Keys. We will certainly not be going back!” She sat you down and took your hands in hers, “Tell me everything, sweetheart... please... tell me everything...” You heard the front door slam announcing your father’s arrival, and he was surprised to see you both. “Girl talk…? Should I leave?” You shook your head “No. Papa. Stay. You need to hear all this too...” He looked to your mother and back to you “You told her about Danny?” “Yeah. But you both deserve to hear it all...” He sat; “Marco called me, he’s worried about you and the baby... sounds like the case isn’t closed.” He tipped his head “He’s a good man...” You nodded “He’s keeping me up to date… He’s a good friend, I’ll call him.” You took a deep breath, and once you had started there was no going back. Everything came flooding out, everything Danny had ever said about his family, everything you had heard from Eve... had observed for yourself. It felt better, to actually get it all out there. You realised just how much you knew and had kept to yourself. You knew by the time you had done you’d likely never have contact with the Rayburn family again. Your family were done. And you realised for once in your life, you didn’t care.  

***

Your Apartment, Saturday, 12pm When Nolan returned to Miami from his first foray down to the Keys, you wondered if he would have the same impression of the Rayburn's that you did. You knew from experience that Danny had told him enough. You were surprised to find that he didn't. But, now, you couldn't trust a thing they had told him. Your reality was very different now... Danny had helped see to that; but you had to admit as friends of your parents your first interactions with them had left you feeling positive. It was just Danny... If Nolan had seen their interactions with Danny... If he knew their thoughts on him…? 

You of course weren't going to just bring that up to the kid. But sitting here in your apartment trying to tell you that Danny was wrong, and he didn't get why Danny hated them and the Keys so much didn't exactly come off the way Nolan had wanted it to. You listened though. He almost gave up when he realised it wasn't having the effect he wanted - you still didn't want your baby to have anything to do with that part of Danny's life or family.  

For the past few months of him being away with Eve you had been busy here. You were approaching the end of your own pregnancy, and you weren't sure if you were really ready to do this on your own. Despite the support network you knew you would have.  Rebuilding the restaurant was taking time because you were adamant that everything would be exactly how it was before... Including staffing. Javi jumped at it before you even really had the chance to get the words out. Jason took the time, of course he wanted to return, but his best friend wouldn't be there anymore. Not only that, but you wanted him to be in charge!? "NOBODY knew Danny like you did. I'm not bringing in a head chef from nowhere... Jase... At least consider it." "I couldn't do what Danny did! I can't take his place!" “You can, I know you can. And I'm not asking you to replace him, but I need you... I can't reopen without you..." There was a heavy sigh "I don't want the title. Retire the title, it was his... And I can't promise I can do everything on the Menu... So much of that was Danny's own hard work. I can attempt it, and I can do the bits I can do, but some of it’s going to have to come off until I really get back into it. Even then..." "Jason... Honey... Don't worry about it. Absolutely, we'll do it your way - I'm more than happy to do that. But I need YOU in that kitchen... " When you started to talk about the restaurant, however, Nolan started to look uncomfortable. It made you hesitate... Then you made the mistake of asking him what was wrong. It upset you that he got upset, you rounded the table to him; " Nolan...? " " I'm sorry." "What? You don't need to be sorry! Don’t be ridiculous!" "I'm sorry!" Still he repeated it. You leant on the table next to him, more than just a little concerned "What for?" "It's my fault! He died and it's all my fault!"  You were taken aback, what the heck was he talking about!?, Danny's death had nothing to do with Nolan... Why would he-?  "Sweetie, what? No! Why would you say that?!"  "B-because I did it. It was me! The restaurant was me!"  You stared at him for a good while, not because you couldn't say anything, but because you knew by the look on his face that was the first time he'd ever confessed it out loud. You shook your head, and instead of doing anything he expected you to - leaving, getting mad, asking him to leave - you embraced him. "Oh... Nolan..." Danny owed money, you could already guess by the way he'd tentatively asked about insurance when Danny left, that Nolan had tried to help. He was a good son. "... You were trying to do the right thing... I get it... Sweetheart... It’s okay... " "It’s not okay... Look what happened! He went to the Keys and now he's gone...!!" "Baby, listen to me... It isn’t you fault... He came back to Miami, and I let him go... This is in no way your fault... Danny had plenty of chances to stay; he didn't. That's on him, darlin'... And I’m not sure what you're looking for from me. But I forgive you, just, please... Stop saying it was your fault... I can’t take that...” He wound his arms around you "... You think it's your fault too... Don't you? " "For not making him stay? Absolutely..." "Well it isn't... So, you need to do the same thing..." "It's hard to do..." "I know that..."

Suddenly Nolan almost jumped and let you go, eyes wide. His reaction only made you look slowly down to your stomach. “OH. I forgot; you’ve been gone so long you haven’t even…” “Oh…! Oh my God……!!” He went from looking scared to excited in the minute it took for him to get that sentence out “…Was that a kick!?” You laughed, sarcastically “Yeah. Welcome to my life! I hate it!” You held out your hand for his; “C’mere… ‘meet’ your sibling would ya…” You pressed his hand gently to your stomach, and relapsed into soft Spanish, trying to encourage another gentle kick. It was one of the two things that you were trying to get ‘Devan’ to become receptive to. Your language and Danny’s voice. The latter was extremely hard to find without putting a tape on – but you’d found a bunch of videos with his stuff… And Javi happened to have many a party at Viva Caputa on tape. “Ah-!” This time Nolan laughed; “Oh my god! How do you even live with that…!” “Uh. Ask your mother the same question! I just have to. Sometimes it’s actually OK. Sometimes it’s painful. You know, it’s more worrying when it doesn’t happen…” “I dunno… I don’t think I’d want that all the time…” But he smiled as it happened again; “I can’t believe you don’t want to know what it is!?” “…And ruin the surprise!?” You grinned, tugging Nolan to you to hug him again; “Nawww-! I just need to worry about you right now. Okay? One gendered Danny kid at a time. I can worry about this one later. For 18 years! And you’re not even done with all 18 of yours. Aw, Geez…!” “You do NOT need to worry about me.” “What-!? With your family! Nolan please…! Pull the other one!”

*** Previously, Little Havana…

It was strange being on this dancefloor again. You hadn’t been here since the first time. The first dance that Danny and you had ever shared; when this was meant to be a one-night thing… Now it was simply one dance of many… and one night of many, too. True to his word, though, Danny had taken you back to the same bar for his ‘New Apartment Celebration’ – although it was hardly a house warming party; considering you were the only one invited. It was nice to dance with him again like this; this time pushed up against his chest with your own; so, you could really bask in the intense look in his eyes. The torture that was the almost kiss that never happened. Your hands in his strong grip. The way his hands could wander wherever they wanted to the rhythm of this music, because there wasn’t a person in this club that he knew. Danny could do whatever he wanted to you here and you were going to allow it. You still had this teasing strength about you though; you were still certainly leading him as you danced, separate pieces of the same whole. You made it clear to everyone that he was only allowed to hold you like this because you were letting him. You took a break to people watch. But were more than amused when Danny would nudge your arm and say something like can we do what they’re doing?! Pointing out another couple on the dancefloor. Babe, we can do WHATEVER you like. He chewed his thumb thoughtfully with a smirk; and you knew exactly what he was thinking but not vocalising. The break also allowed people you knew who were also dancing here, but you hadn’t seen in such a long time, to come over and ask what the HELL had taken you so long to come back! Which meant you could finally introduce this world to Daniel Rayburn too. And, oh!, did they love him. More than once was he dragged away from you by other girls. Which just had you laughing because then their partners would drag you out on the floor. And it was hilarious watching Danny flex his dancing muscles with someone else. And how every so often he would flash you a HELP! Look. Nothing compared to being with him though. And you always knew that, as you drifted back together. This time the crowd parting. Like it had the second time you had done this on the beach at Rayburn House. How you wound you arms around his shoulders, and he placed his hands on your hips. And this crowd got it; at least better than anyone on that sand had. What you were, how you felt, what your bodies were expressing… The story you were telling. Your story had begun here. It was fitting to start a new chapter here too. This wasn’t just about his new apartment. This was also about him moving in with you… That meant a lot of things – a lot of changes. But a whole lot of love too…   *** R.H. Consulting Services Head Office, Monday, 9:30am You stepped into Rich’s office with your paperwork in hand. You knew what you were going to do from the second you had started in that restaurant. You owed it to Danny and his legacy to run it yourself. And it would be a full-time job, even with Jason and Javi there every step of the way; “Rich...” this was still hard for you to do. “Y/N... Hey! You alright? The baby and everything...?” You nodded “Yeah, I just... wanted to hand you this...” He was curious as you held out the documents “It’s my resignation.” “What-!?” You stopped him “You don’t have to pay me or... you know, I just... there’s things I need to do. And if I can’t give you my 100% then I don’t think I deserve to be here... and you deserve me to give you 100%.” “Y/N...” Rich took the folder from you “... After all you’ve been through you can’t expect me to accept this and your terms...??” He placed it back on the desk in front of him and looked up at you “You will absolutely still be paid your maternity... at least don’t fight me on that one. But what is the new adventure?” “That restaurant needs me. I owe Danny. I’ve always owed Danny a lot… but... This is about the one thing I can actually do for him now.” “Ah.” He nodded “I see... but, I still can’t accept this.” “What-!? Why??!” He smiled “I’m sure that you’ll have some free time too, so... I would quite like to keep you on freelance... I certainly don’t want you getting any ideas in your head that we don’t want you, for once thing.” You stared at him for a moment, unblinking; “R-really?!” “Of course. Even if you’re working at 20%. I know this company needs you. You can be the consultancy’s consultant!” He laughed “I will consider this... but... I just don’t want you thinking you have to leave... you don’t. And we would be honoured if you stayed.” You were very nearly beaming at that “All going well… I will be very happy to stay... if I can, but, I’m making no promises...!” He nodded to his office door “Go on... you go reopen that restaurant... this place will still be here to welcome you back. You go make Danny’s legacy...” he smiled “That man deserves it.” You gave a nod, bowing gently as you turned to exit his office with a smile “That he does!” 

*** Viva Caputa Reopening Party, Saturday, 8pm The party was small, close knit friends of Danny’s and your family. That didn’t make it any less of a success, the intimate setting probably even helped make it the jubilant affair that it was. And up until this point you’d managed to avoid the one thing that everyone in this room wanted from you. But when they all started chanting at you, you could hold it off no longer. You sat yourself on the bar and took your glass of sparkling water back; "Look, you guys have been on at me to make a speech all evening. And the truth is I could make a lot of anecdotal comments about Danny, about my time in this very restaurant with all of you good people, about his love - how much I love him and how much he loved me. And how much he loved YOU." Your look to Nolan was nothing less than significant, but you smiled "Truth is, I don't think I need to tell any of you anything you didn't already know. And... I don't think Danny would NEED me to or want me too. We gotta have our secrets." you winked to the laughs "Besides I still got a few weeks left of this..." They laughed again, and someone from the crowd yelled; "That better not be champagne!" "Sparking water! C’mon! Talk about the worst timing..." You gave a shrug "So really. I just wanted to thank everyone for coming along, it means the world to me and to Nolan too... And thank you those of you that are coming back here! Even if I somewhat strong armed some of you!" "Ah! We love ya!" Jason beamed making you smile back; "So. All I want to tell you all is... I love you. And here's to the next adventure. And most importantly - please, please, please, I what you to enjoy yourself. It’s what he would have wanted! And if you want to be the first set of people to write things for my dedication board, you'll find some card scattered around here!" You smiled, and raised your glass "To Danny!" "DANNY!!" The cheer went up with glasses of all kinds of mixers. You wanted them to drink whatever they wanted. This wasn't a funeral; you were adamant of making this a celebration. You wanted it to be the kind of thing you would find Danny himself at. You took a sip and turned back to the picture you had spent ages deliberating over that you had framed. "Danny's Dedications" in silver lettering above. You wanted people to tell him how much they loved him. To put photographs up there. To destroy that wall with anything and everything Danny they could find. You turned back to everyone with an even bigger smile; "I can declare Viva Caputa officially reopened!!" ** You locked up the front door with a smile on your face. That party had been a success, at least, everything seemed in order. All you had to do now was reopen to the public. “Oi! Amorcita...!” You turned to see both Javi and Jason sitting on the hood of a car opposite. “What are you two still doing here?!” Javi jumped up “No, no. We talk. You listen.” He opened the car door for you “Step in.” “You think I trust you enough?!” Jason laughed “I don’t really think you got much choice, us being the only ones around.” “Kidnap?!” You looked down at yourself “Only if we must!!!  The baby will be safe-! Don’t worry!” Jason grinned as he rounded the car to the driver’s seat. Javi ushered you across the road “C’mon, Y/N... We want to take you somewhere we used to go with Danny... we figured today more than any other was a good one...” “You guys know I can’t drink, right?” “Ginger Ale, don’t worry I covered that.” Jason yelled through the open window “I wouldn’t leave you out. Now are you coming or what-!? The sun is setting Y/N!” You looked up at the orange and purple Miami sky. It sure was beautiful. “Time is ticking...” Javi leant against the open door “We’ll bring you back for your car. We would never leave Ms. Danny Rayburn stranded.” “Ms. Danny Rayburn...” you repeated with a gentle smile “okay... you guys got me convinced!” They drove you out of Miami, to a good clear spot on the horizon. Elevated enough to get a beautiful view of the city when you looked one way, but the sun setting out over the sea when you looked the other… Javi handed you a ginger ale with a smile, and both of them cracked open beers. “So. Danny and the both of us used to come out here to be idiots and let off steam. Like, you know, when he was still young and single and didn’t have MUCH better people to do with his time.” Jason’s little glace to your stomach was there in place of his smirk. Making you laugh. “Such a way with words…”  You glanced at the horizon; it was beautiful. The colours that washed the sky. “…But thank you… If Danny liked it out here… He never took me.” “Maybe it was like… Something he associated with being single? Or with us. And not with you… I’m sure there’s a lot of places he took you he didn’t take us. What about the Keys? He never showed us anything down there…” Javier took a sip and walked over to you, folding his arms he also smiled. Your eyes flicked to both of them, standing there silently for a minute and smiling like that. You knew they were thinking of every single memory they shared with Danny up here. That was between the three of them. And that was fine with you. But this moment, watching that sun set on the first day of the rest of that restaurant’s life, just the three of you standing together… The way that they both brushed against you, gentle physical contact… You smiled, then bit your lip to stop yourself from crying. And placed a hand to your stomach when your baby stirred. You took a breath to stay strong and lifted your head again. “Danny would have loved this… Being here.” “He’s here.” Javier took a sip to counteract the fact he looked like he too, was about to be overcome with emotion. “…He’s definitely here.” They both suddenly, almost instinctively, placed they arms around you, and you were hugging them back. It was the safest you had felt since Danny had gone. Was it because of him? You had no doubt he was here. Probably scoffing and telling all three of you to get a grip. But… Here you were. Jason spoke up, a laugh in his voice as the sky turned purple – the last rays of light just visible on that horizon line. “…Yeah…. Y/N. You gotta bring your baby here and introduce it to everything Danny loved. YOU are his legacy. Not the restaurant. You.” *** Downtown Miami, early afternoon, Wednesday   You had just arrived and parked up to meet Nolan for lunch. You guessed it was true what they said about it sneaking up on you... You were fine one minute, greeting Nolan with as good a hug as you could manage before suggesting a place to grab lunch. Without his father around Nolan had taken on the responsibility of looking after you during the later stages of your pregnancy, and quite well, you should like to add. But suddenly it wasn’t okay. And you gasped, sharp, and with a lack of air you reached out and grabbed Nolan’s arm. He stopped immediately “Y/N?” You winced and gripped his arm even tighter. “The baby?” It was all you could do to nod. This wasn’t the best time or place, but at least you were with someone. Panic instantly crossed his face and you felt the tension that ran through his body under your fingertips. It ceased almost as fast as it came and Nolan cleared his head and put on a brave face. “I need to get you to a hospital!” You nodded “Can you drive?” You had to fight through your own pain just to say that much. He nodded again; you handed him your car keys “Then you gotta...” his eyes flicked to your car, there was nothing else for it. Getting you back to it as quickly as possible he dialled ahead; the nearest hospital was Mercy. Your mother had worked there in the past, they knew you, he was a smart kid. There was hardly a waver in his voice as he proceeded to start the ignition and tell them that Y/N Ervin was about to have a baby and he was driving her there RIGHT now!! Nolan was just a kid but he drove that sports car expertly. He ran a few red lights but was nothing short of fast but careful. You’d tell him you were proud of that, if you weren’t focusing so hard on what was happening to you. It hurt, of course it did, but the contractions brought with them another pain. Danny wasn’t there. Danny would never be there, and Danny would never see his baby... you had to bite back your crying at least until Nolan had you to the right place. Pulling up outside the hospital he slammed on the cars warning light and sprinted around to your side; “Do you think you can walk?” You shook your head “Okay. I’ll carry you...” “Nolan...! I...!” “Don’t be stupid! I want to help! I’m about to get a little brother or sister! Hello!” He swept you up into his arms and hurried you through the sliding hospital doors. As expected from your name, people were awaiting you, allowing him to place you safely into their care. He was about to run off to park the car, but you grabbed his hand. Danny couldn’t be there, so you damn well wanted the next best thing...  They quickly had you changed and induced and Nolan sat with you, taking your hand in his. You would spare him if you thought you could do this alone. There was no time for anyone else. Labour was intense but mercifully short, compared to what you had been preparing yourself for after reading up on as much as you could. Nolan, like a true champion and to his credit - held firm, let you squeeze his hand so tight you left marks on his skin, let you hold him and cry... until it wasn’t just your crying that filled the hospital room. And then you were crying with relief. You put your hands over your face to try and wipe away the tears, and it was Nolan’s turn to stand and put his arms around you. Even the doctors smiled watching the two of you as you put your arms around him in thanks. He didn’t need to do this - he was your hero. “Congratulations, Ms.Ervin... You have a son.” That made you almost cry again, but you laughed instead, in joy. “I have a brother?!” Nolan’s face reflected yours as they handed the bundle of blankets to you. He was small, and you held him in your arms delicately. You almost wept again; his eyes were that unmistakable gorgeous blue that you would continuously fall for... He had been blessed with Danny’s eyes. You had selfishly wanted that most. “... Did you... have a name in mind??” You smiled. There had only ever been one choice since Danny had run after your parent’s car. “Devan. His name is Devan...” you thought on it for a moment “I’d like to call him Devan... Daniel... yeah...” you agreed with yourself “After his father. Devan Daniel Rayburn.” Nolan didn’t say a word, but the smile on his face said everything. Then his eyes widened like he’d remembered something. “Oh-! I… Should I go and… I should call people – right?” Your laugh was weak; that had completely skipped your mind, but Nolan at least needed a break after all that “Sure, sweetheart. Thank you…” He leant over again and kissed your forehead, beaming; “I’ll be right back…” As the door to the room closed the doctor went back to his paperwork; “His father is...?” “Daniel, Danny, Robert Rayburn...” You still hated that. Even now. “And... can I ask his role in this?” You understood why he’d ask the question. Danny wasn’t here. Like you needed any more reminding of that fact. “He won’t have one...” you bit your lip “He’s... Deceased. As of 6 months ago...” The doctor immediately looked like he wished he hadn’t asked, in a ground swallowing him up way “God- I’m sorry...” “No... I understand why you might need to ask...” “And the kid?” “Nolan? Danny’s son from a previous relationship. No relation to me. Danny moved in with me and Nolan has a room but, I haven’t adopted him or anything... he’s still got his mom and I have a good relationship with her... so... it’ll just be Devan and I...” “But you’ll have a good support network?” “My parents. And friends... Nolan and Eve. It will be hard without Danny. It’s… hard without Danny, but it’s not impossible. I have some really good people around. Work has been extremely supportive, you don’t have to worry about me!” There was a smile on his face as he filed the sheets; “Well, Y/N… I can certainly see that.” For a few minutes you were left alone with your baby. And it was respite you desperately needed as much as you didn’t want. You could hear Nolan’s voice speaking to the doctor outside, and every so often you could hear people yelling and running down the corridor. Smiling every time you realised one of your friends had turned up. Almost crying when you heard your parents. But they all left you, for a little while – asking the doctor all the urgent questions they had – at least by the sounds of it. You held him close to you, and tried to imagine everything Danny would say if he were here. That wasn’t hard, Danny’s voice had been in your head for long before he’d been taken from you. And everything he’d said to you when you had told him, when he was back in your arms here, over the phone… all of that was replaying now. Devan’s tiny fingers found and grasped at the fine gold chain around your neck, holding it firm. That made you smile, he wouldn’t understand yet… But one day you were going to tell him every little thing about his father that you possibly could. “…Hey… Little one… Be careful with that…” You gathered the ‘D’ between your fingers; “This was from your daddy… And it is the most important thing I own…” you smiled sadly “I can’t wait to tell you all about him Devan… I know he would have loved you so much…” You thought about Nolan then, and tried very hard not to cry, whatever Danny thought of himself you were thankful at least that he had had the opportunity to be a father. * When you weren’t at the restaurant you spent a lot of time lazing at home. You spent the first couple of weeks at home with your parents, and then you moved back into your own apartment - where Nolan was almost a permanent resident. And proving himself to be the big brother you knew he always would be. Until you assured him that he didn’t have to stay, and you could have Devan all to yourself. And you certainly couldn’t resist him and those blue eyes. Every time he looked at you all you saw was Danny. And you loved it. Javi and Jason, Amanda, Evelyn all stopped by from time to time, and you loved every single one of them for it. In fact Javi and Jason were now always referring to Devan as their son; “Can’t we call him by his middle name?!” “NO!” “Daniel! See-! He’s smiling he likes it!” “Javier I swear to god-!” 

When no one was around you once again immersed yourself in music. But it wasn’t just Danny’s playlist that filled the house. But also his voice. After you’d heard the content, you’d found somewhere to copy them from tape to audio file. And everyone had scraped together any footage of Danny they possibly could, it didn’t matter how short, or when it was. Even John had sent some when requested... You knew that tape off by heart now. You could join in with every word, every breath he took, every sob and laugh... it was a part of you now.

But your real reason for doing this was your son. You wanted him to know his father. Everything he could, and that started with Danny’s voice. Even if Devan simply knew what Danny sounded like that would be enough. And you treasured every message you got that read something along the lines of “I found another Danny clip!” Even down to the one Amanda accidentally took where all you can really hear is Danny laughing before she realises her camera is still on and filming and says “Oh Shit!” The whole thing is blurred and looking at the floor. But it’s such a genuine, lovely, pure laugh that you cherished it anyway. ***

Three Months Later, Viva Caputa You looked up as she walked in, marveling in a place she’d never been. “JANEY!!” You almost screamed it, running around the bar to grab her into a hug. “Y/N!!” “You made it!” You laughed “You made it up to Miami!!” “Are you kidding!? You and Nolan talk about this place ALL the time.” “Aw, let me get him for you. This one is on the house...! You here alone?” You walked back up the back of the restaurant “Nolannn..! Break time! Someone is here to see you!” “Alright - give me a minute!!” He called back, you knew that meant Jason was probably trying to teach him something complicated. Javi sighed, “Aw, great, I get all his work don’t I?” You patted his arm “Yeah that’s it, my friend..!” Janey turned, and then gasped at your dedications board. You watched her reactions as she crossed to it and began reading... She delicately moved a few of the photographs around until she found your final ultrasound scan. She turned to you; “Do I get to meet him?” You wondered how much Nolan had told her, you nodded; “If you stick around... my parents will bring him up...” you nodded to the board “Would you like to write one?” “Really?!” “Yeah, everyone gets to write one if they’ve got something to say. I change it around every so often... it’ll be nice for something new!” you leant over the bar for your pack of notecards and a pen “So if you have any pictures, darlin’... you may submit them too!” you handed them over “Anyways, you didn’t answer, you here alone?” “Oh. Uh... no... my, uh, my dad drove me...” You raised an eyebrow, John was here? That was interesting. “Janey!” Nolan appeared, allowing you to take your leave; “You two sit, give me a minute...” you were curious as to why John had let her walk in alone, and why John was staying outside. Come to think of it - when it came to John, you had a lot of things to be curious about. You walked out the front door and stopped. He was standing about 5 paces away from it, and as you walked out you’d startled him, long enough to hold your gaze for 2 seconds before he looked back to the floor. You folded your arms “You’re not coming in?” “Was that a statement or a question...” the guilt in his voice was obvious. “Did you just come to bring Janey, or did you come for something else?” your words weighed heavy and his shoulders slumped as he sighed “...Both... I think...” You tilted your head “Do you understand what you meant to him? What you mean to me? What you mean to Nolan?” “Yeah. I get it.” They sounded like questions he’d asked himself for a long time. “Do you?” You took a deep breath “Did you do it? John? Was it you? Whatever you told Nolan was good - and I appreciate it because the kid believes it and doesn’t have to live with whatever the truth is... but I have a letter and three tapes that would say otherwise.” You took a step back “Did you do it?” “If you don’t want him to live with it, why would you want to?” “Because I need to know. Nolan doesn’t but I do. Nolan is 16, he knew Danny. My son doesn’t, he never will… When he grows up, he will ask me. And what am I supposed to tell him if I don’t know myself?!” You refolded your arms “Because, John! I have to tell my son one day that his dad was murdered whilst 48 hours before he was here in Miami, safe. And I let him go…!!!” You had the guilt weighing on you as much as Nolan did “I did that… I held him here… And I let him go… Please, just prove to me that there is someone in your family who knows how to tell the truth!” The pause was long, he weighted his options carefully. Then he just nodded. But you felt relief. Because you were sure you already knew. And you already knew your decision. “...I know what you want me to say but I won’t. Because he wouldn’t want me to. Danny would want me to forgive you because that’s the kind of man he was... and I do. Because when my son has questions about the Rayburn’s, there is only one I could ever trust him to go to.” “Don’t. Don’t tell me you forgive me.” “But I do.” You shook your head “My faith asks it of me also. I’m done being mad about it, John. I’m not over it... but I’m done being anything but grateful for what I got to have because of him. Devan and Nolan are my priorities now, but make no mistake I HAD to know that.” You stepped forward; “... You know I’m never going to see you in the same way again. But I can’t hate you. And to have that over me for the rest of my life? No thanks. From what I hear your family is getting what it deserves. You spent your life doing things for them… I kinda want you to enjoy your freedom...” you shrugged. “... Lowrey sent you Danny’s tapes?” John was backtracking your conversation now “... I... have no idea who sent them... I got a box addressed to me with a note telling me Danny wanted me to have them. One is for me and me only.” And you would cherish that as the last time he would ever tell you he loved you “... one is the tape he sent to Lowrey about you and your family, yeah. And the other is just... And entire explanation of what he was doing in the Keys that is frankly horrifying and I’d like to forget. A good confession tape if ever there was one...” “Then how do you-” “His letter warned me about you. His tapes framed it all perfectly. It wasn’t even putting two and two together. I just knew.” You took the step down to his level, arms refolded. “Besides... John, now you’re here I can ask you to do something pretty important.” “What, for you?” Your eyes narrowed slightly like he was asking a stupid question: “For my son. For Danny’s son.” “...Oh.” He was quiet for a second “Devan.” That made you smile; invested enough, it seemed “Yes.” He appeared to smile at that “I can’t promise I’ll be any good.” You thought he was catching on well. “It’s what Danny would have wanted.” “I’m not sure if what Danny wanted should really be what I’m doing.” You smiled; “Well. I want it too. John. You’re the only person in your family who ever treated Danny like he was a part of that family. He was your brother. And he loved you. I mean it; about forgiving you... so please. Just do this one thing for him. And be a part of his life... there should be a Rayburn in Devan‘s life. And I’ll be damned if it’ll be anyone else.” Then his smile was genuine, even though he looked to the floor “Okay. I’ll be his godfather. And I will try to be... what he needs from my family. But Janey, Nolan, those kids will be better than-” He froze suddenly as you threw your arms around him; “Thank you-!” And suddenly he couldn’t help it; and tears welled up and spilled down his face; he wound his arms around your shoulders; “Y/N.... Y/N I’m so... I’m so sorry... I’m so, so, so sorry...” You shook your head “It’s over... John... I’m sorry you ever felt the need to do it... I’m sorry you ever got into that state... I’m sorry for Danny too... he deserved a life...” “I know... with you...” “With or without me... that boy deserved the best...” you were crying into his shirt too, John could feel it against his shoulder “... If I gave him half of that... I don’t think I could have given better...” “You couldn’t. Y/N. He loved you.” “I know John. I love him too.” You stood like that for a few minutes. In the Viva Caputa parking lot like it wasn’t the middle of the day and there weren’t people in the restaurant who would see this. “John. We need to agree on something right now.” When you were sure your tears were dry again and you might actually be able to face him again, you spoke up. “What?” You stepped back, your hands on his arms “... We are never ever talking about this again. Ever. I forgive you. The end. I don’t want to ever have to utter another word.” “You’re sure?” You gave a firm nod “Those boys will never know. You understand. No one else is ever going to know.” “Okay...” John bowed his head, feeling unworthy of such a request; “Then I agree.” Your parents arrived not 10 minutes after you’d settled John in with his daughter and nephew and instantly Jason and Javi stopped working; “Hey you two! You have a restaurant to run!” “Yeah no, Y/N! Not now our son has arrived.” “Why don’t you get your own kids...!” “I think you’ll find you told me that I shouldn’t have kids!” Javi yelled after you as you opened the door for them; “Oh! I stand by that!” Jason hadn’t laughed so hard in a long time. “Mama!” She offered you a hug and a kiss on the cheek as she handed Devan over. “Has he been good?” “That boy is an Angel.” “Yeah. About as angelic as his father I bet.” You nuzzled him gentled as he giggled, grabbing fistfuls of your shirt and hair. Your father kissed the top of your head and then Devan’s “Don’t worry, she says it because we get to give him back.” Your mother scowled at him “I’d never give him back if I had the choice.” You combed your fingers gently through Devan’s dark hair. He was gonna get that side of Danny’s family as much as he was going to get it from the Hispanic side of yours. You were heading for Nolan 2.0 you knew. And you were A-OK with that. “Oh-! My darling boy!” “John and Janey are here?!” Your father offered a wave to their table with a smile “Mmm hmm!” “Ah-! Excellente!!” You sat next to Janey as your parents immediately set upon Favourite Son Numero Dos - John Rayburn. “Janey. Meet Devan!” “Oh-! Aww-!” She immediately motioned to take him off you, and you were fine with that. She held him up for a minute until he giggled again and then hugged him close. “Oh-! Oh-! Y/N he’s gorgeous...!! So adorable!” Nolan leant on his hand “Yeah. When he’s not crying... or whining... and you’re also only saying that because you’ve just met him.” You gave Nolan a look “What are you trying to say?!” “Uh. He’s a baby. That’s what babies do.” Janey looked to him disbelievingly; “Does he cry a lot?” She turned back to you, “No. He’s quiet... he’s a good boy...” Nolan made a scoffing sound, but also smiled taking his little brother’s hand in his. “Hey buddy...” You mouthed to Janey “Coolest big bro ever..!” “He wishes!” She winked and mouthed back, causing you to hide your laugh behind your hand. At this point you caught onto your parents conversation; “…Has Y/N invited you for dinner?” This made you look to John, and his awkward swivel to you. You gave nothing away on your face, he hoped you would. His eyes flicked back to your parents “Uh… N- No… It’s okay we can probably-” “John, please. You should come for dinner.” You smiled “You and Janey should stay. You’re family, right?” “…Well…” He studied your sincere look for a moment, if you meant it… “AW! Dad! Can we?!” Janey made you raise an eyebrow at him expectantly; “…Besides then I get to spend some more time with this cutie!” John’s eyes kept on yours and he smiled, “Thank you… Jack, Maria… Y/N… We would… love to stay for dinner.” You left Javi and Jason to it soon after that, and paid close attention to the way John paused at the ‘Danny’s Dedications’ picture by the door; “Did you do this…?” His voice was solemn “I set it up. A lot of it is me… I guess…” You smiled, “…But a lot of it is just… people who loved Danny.” You tipped your head “Why. Don’t you think you deserve to write one?” “…I wish he said more about it.” “What if he did…?” Your eyes followed his to the picture and you smiled; “The Keys may have called him back. But John, this was always home… I think Danny wanted to keep the two apart. I think he tried to put them together too often. It never worked out… I’m just glad everyone here loved him… All Danny ever deserved was love.” “He got you…” John took a card from the stack by the door and a pen and scribbled something “…You meant more to him than the Keys ever did.” He slotted it behind a bunch of others and turned to you “…I’m sorry… I took him from you.” “Yeah. And I’m not going to let you do what he did.” You took John’s hand in yours and pulled him from the restaurant “I will NOT force you to live with that guilt the rest of your life John. Danny’s memory deserves better than that.” * Dinner was as quiet as it was loud, neither John nor you really said anything. You guessed you both had a lot to really think on right now. You caught eyes often and each and every time all he could see on your face was reassurance. You were done being mad at his family – you’d decided months ago that cutting them from your own completely was the only way to close this for yourself. John and Janey were different from the rest of them… And this was clearly a road you and John were about to walk together for the rest of your lives. You trusted him to keep you straight on this one. Whenever John did talk, and most of the talk was about Danny, he was speaking to you – directly, even though the whole table was listening to his stories. Good things, he’s only telling me good things. He wants me to know GOOD things…  You weren’t even sure you’d ever heard John talk about his brother; at least not like this to you. Probably because Danny was nearly always around when you talked to John. You wondered to yourself if you’d ever thanked him aloud. He’d been the only person in that family back then who’d accepted you and Danny together. Even now, you wondered if that was still true… Probably. But you hardly cared. Especially when John was making you laugh so hard the tears you were crying were finally good ones… They left without a spectacle. They wouldn’t be staying, but, thank you and certainly don’t be strangers! You all stood on the steps of your parents’ house waving goodbye, and John checked the car as Janey hopped in the passenger seat. But then, you thought, you couldn’t just say goodbye like this; “John!” He turned back and stepped away from the car as you ran to him. Your embrace was tight; and he mirrored it instantly; “Please… don’t stay away… I want you to know your nephew.” “…I will… I promise… I think I owe it to his parents, huh?” You laughed and let him go; “And… I’m sorry about Diana…” “Well. I guess it’s just another thing that happened… huh?” It wasn’t a happy smile, but you understood it – so you couldn’t help but smile the same way back “I guess so…” “Look. When I’m settled back in Islamorada… Come down.” “OH I-” “Not. Not the house… I get it. You don’t want Devan to have anything to do with us. And that, after what you’ve been through? What I’m sure you know, is fair. But there’s so much that… Danny and I used to do as kids that… I’d kinda like you, and his kids, to see…” You laughed gently and folded your arms “Okay… I’d… like that a lot.” This smile was certainly genuine “Alright. I’ll give you a call…” This time John reached out to hold you; “…Take care of yourself Y/N… And that little boy of yours. And the other one. He needs it too. He’s certainly trouble!” “Oh-! His father’s son Nolan is!” You grinned “You take care too. You have two beautiful kids, John. Especially this one…” you nodded to the car “Keep them straight. And… If you ever want to head up State…” You gave a shrug “…You always have a place to come.” “Thank you.” You shook your head “No… Thank you.” *** Previously, Viva Caputa… “Oh my Gooood!!” Jason lyricised from the kitchen as you strolled in. It was early morning, the restaurant was open for breakfast already, but there were only a few occupied tables. “She’s in before work, it must be serious...!” “Jase!” You rounded the bar; he was the only one in the kitchen. “...Wait! What’s going on?!” “Danny is either late or not coming in!” He smiled “Just me...” he waved his hand in the direction of the kitchen “I mean it’s hardly surprising...” You scoffed, Danny was never ‘late’ at least that’s how his saying always went; “Well I had an early meeting in the city, and now I have to head to the conference center...” “Girl, I can make you breakfast better than Danny ever could...!” He turned to his work station “I can be done in 5 minutes. Come back here, help yourself to coffee! I trust ya!” You sat in the back of the kitchen for about a little while with Jason. Like Danny, just watching him set about cooking was a calming experience. You thought you needed that before you went off to that conference… An engine outside made you turn your head, Jason turned with a grin at the way your face completely lit up. “A crap sounding engine like that can only belong to that piece of junk your boyfriend drives!” “It’s NOT junk! It’s a classic! And he’s your boss.” “Oh, here she goes! Getting me in trouble again!” “…Never---!” You put your cup down and exited the kitchen to Danny stepping out of his car “OH! MY! What are you---!? Doing---!!” He laughed and accepted your hug as you borderline threw yourself at him; “—I have a day of just… Horrific work! So, I thought I would come by!” “What the hell were you doing in my kitchen…” He brushed your hair back with his palms and cupped your face “…How long have you been up!?  Geez, it’s still early!” “…Too long.” You leant up to catch his lips, and he tasted the coffee. That probably explained it, “Jase said I could come back, so I did.” “Oh-! Yeah Mr. In-Charge in there…” Danny claimed your lips again. “Okay, come on… Breakfast… I get it.” “To go. I gotta go…” “To go!? Screw that, Y/N! I’m making you sit down an eat.” “Whyyyyy…!?” You put on your best whine as he took your hand and walked you back into the kitchen, “Because then I know you’ve eaten.” You almost rolled your eyes with a laugh “Oh God. Not this again…!” “Yes! THIS!” “Danny I can’t stay… Like…” You looked at your watch; “I just can’t… This conference starts in-” “Okay. Okay. I get it.” He turned and grabbed your waist, pulling you into him with another kiss “…Then come back, for lunch. Or I’m gonna worry.” “…Okay… Fine. Lunch.” “…Alright, Baby Girl… But at least let me send you off with something…” Jason called from the kitchen; “I got her covered.” Danny’s exasperated look made you laugh as he turned to yell back “You are NOT supposed to encourage her to eat more sugar!!!” “Oh-! Sorry boss-! That’s not what she told me!” * It was always great to have a lunch date with Danny, today was no exception. And he let you tell him about your exceedingly boring conference experience. But, yes, your presentation had gone well… Thank you! Of course, you weren’t sure if he really cared about the subject itself, but he certainly cared for your wellbeing… You were just leaving the restaurant as Nolan was coming in. Viva Caputa wouldn’t get busy for another couple of hours, and Danny liked to bring Nolan in to teach him things sometimes. Danny had insisted to you that Nolan was a natural. You wouldn’t be surprised at that, both Nolan’s parents were very creative. You hoped that you had a little bit of influence on the more logical, mathematical side of his brain. You’d at least been a good influence on his languages… “Hey Nolan! How’s it goin’?” You were kissing Danny goodbye and walking out the door as he was coming through it. “Good! Good! Y/N! Yeah! How are you?” “Great-! Yeah! Just off to see my friends. Hopefully not going to be doing a whole lot of day drinking… As I’m driving…!” He responded to your Spanish in kind; “Have a great time with your friends!” Nolan had you beaming; “I will! I’m sorry I can’t stay! Have a great shift – you stayin’ for shift?” “Yeah. Probably.” “Alright! See you back at home later!” After you hung out with Amanda and Evelyn you’d head to your parents for dinner, Danny would drive Nolan back to yours and he’d at least stay the night, if not all weekend. You knew you’d be the one sorting the details – you made a mental note to text Eve about it later. The door swung closed behind you and they both watched you walk to your car. Utility, rather than sporty today. The terrace you were meeting your friends at had on street parking. You didn’t fancy parking a whole lot of money in a Miami street bay.

Nolan leant on the counter next to his dad. “…You ever think about it…” Danny raised an eyebrow like he’d missed a wavelength, or beat in the conversation “Think about what…?” “Your future with her…” “…All the time.” He frowned momentarily at his son “ALL the time… What makes you ask…?” Nolan was still watching you leave; “…You ever thought about marrying her?” Danny almost laughed “Woah…Woah… Hang on… Where did that come from!?” Nolan shrugged, “Isn’t that what you’re supposed to think about when planning a future?” “…People don’t always get married… Anyway, she doesn’t want to be a Rayburn, c’mon…” Nolan wasn’t sure if he was meant to take offense to that or not, considering he was one. “…So that’s a no?” “That’s not what I said.” “So it’s a yes?” “I’ve… not really…” He’d certainly joked about not getting down on one knee on multiple occasions. That was more because of the length of time you’d been together. Although he knew it was also true people had popped the question after mere weeks. Danny also wasn’t sure he was the getting married type. He thought he’d much rather have a life partner than be able to screw up something by putting a ring on her finger… He also wasn’t exactly sure how his grown up son would take him marrying a woman barely 10 or so years older than him. But if Nolan was the one bringing it up? “…Is that what you want?” “HUH!?” Nolan looked a little taken aback, leaning away from Danny for a moment. “Do you want me to marry her?” Nolan blinked, slowly but more than once “…I…” he chose his words carefully “…Want you to do it if you want to do it.” “Now that IS a yes.” “N-No…!” Nolan put his hands up “I, just think she’s good for you. It just… Made sense to me that marriage would be a natural progression.” Then he added “Eventually.” “Eh, I don’t think marriage was ever my natural progression…” “So you won’t marry her?” “I haven’t even discussed it with her yet… It’s a huge commitment. That she has to make to me, Nolan. It’s two sided.” “I think she’d marry you.” Nolan leant on his hand “…In fact I’m certain of it.” Danny wasn’t about to let him get ahead of himself; “Well. She’s a little younger than me and… It’ll have to be a discussion.” “Yeah Dad… I’m just saying. I don’t think that matters.” Danny gave a knowing smile; “so you do think I should marry her.” “Yeah.” Nolan laughed “Eventually you should. But you gotta get yourself a decent three-month salary to get a ring first, old man!” He grinned as Danny reached across the bar to punch the top of his arm; “I’ll give you old man!” Danny was certain you would say yes to anything… Was pretty sure your parents might give their blessing… If Nolan’s feelings were positive… But Danny didn’t want to rush this. And he didn’t want to rush you. Still. It was a great thing to keep in the back of his mind. One day, when he was ready – and one day he knew he WOULD be ready. He’d get down on one knee and he’d pour his heart out and hopefully it would be to you… and hopefully you would say yes. 

The thing was, even now, with a smile on his face… Danny knew exactly where he would do it.

*** Present Day, Viva Caputa, 7am It was pretty early morning. But neither you nor Devan (or maybe you because of Devan) could sleep. So, as usual, to be as close as possible to the man you loved you were now sitting in Viva Caputa. Project planning. Danny never seemed satisfied with his own restaurant, and you’d seen him drawing up plans and writing things down. Even when they refit the restaurant, he would stand looking at it arms folded and saying “Eh. It could still use some work.” So you’d sifted through his apartment and come across a second set of plans - all Danny’s own work, rather than the contractor who could so helpfully give you all their work on that very refit. It was something in the works. Not for now, but you still enjoyed thinking about it. Devan was content to sit on the counter next to you in his carrycot as long as you paid attention. Time ticked on, and you realized it was close to arrival and opening time. You were the only one currently here, which was fine. You were lost too deep in your work as it was. But suddenly the phone rang. You looked up, and thought about getting up but hesitated. You didn’t need to get it. It was early enough for the caller to know you weren’t open, and if it was important the answer machine would pick it up anyway. You returned to your work as it rang off. But then dropped your pen and couldn’t turn towards the phone quick enough. Devan turned too, towards a voice he would never know, but recognized right away.

“Hey! You’ve reached Viva Caputa! I’m sorry that none of us can take your call at the moment, we’re probably a little tied up. If it’s for reservations leave your name and booking details. We’ll call ya back to confirm. If you’re an employee, call me!” The message cut and then the machine beeped... there was static, as whoever had called struggled to respond. “...Holy shit...” You almost laughed at how quiet Jason’s voice was “Danny is still the voicemail...!” You leant on your hand for a minute, overcome with a sense of joy at something you’d never realized. It was settled though, that was one thing that was never changing. *** Downtown Miami, Thursday PM Javier arrived about 5 minutes late looking bashful. You didn’t really care, today you’d been around town checking in on a couple of clients and working on some ad hoc projects for your dad. You knew when you weren’t at the restaurant Javier and Jason took the responsibility to manage it between themselves. They had work of their own so it wouldn’t surprise you if he got dragged into something late. You wanted to discuss schedules, these days neither man really had ‘shifts’ unless they asked you, you might be managing the restaurant, but what you really wanted was to give Javi more responsibility. Today you’d be discussing with him hiring potential employees; at this point, with Jason running the kitchen, Javier was your second in command. His lateness didn’t bother you, but it certainly bothered him.

“I’m so sorry-!” You shook your head, “Busy is good. You know...” “Yeah. But still, meeting you for lunch is important.” He grinned and turned his attention immediately to Devan “But-! More importantly—!! How is my boy!!?” Javier’s fuss just made Devan giggle in delight and reach out to grab Javi’s hands; “Yes! It’s okay! One of your daddies is here!” “God forbid YOU ever have kids.” “Aw, come on! We’d do good, you and I! I mean look at our son now!!” His eyes flicked back to Devan “Javi. Can you say Javi?!” You couldn’t help laughing as you leant on your hand “You’ll be lucky!” “What’s it gonna be then... mommy?” “If my parents have anything to say about it it’ll be Spanish. Rightly so. If I have my way it’ll be Danny.” Javier turned to you, suddenly solemn; “How much are you gonna tell him?” “All of it,” and you were serious “every minutia of detail I can remember or people have told me... He deserves to know, I’m not keeping it from him.” “But he died-” I know how he died...” you took a deep breath, it was still difficult. And you would certainly never say it was getting easier. It was just different to talk about now “... But if I lie, the truth will come out eventually....” you took Devan’s hand in yours making him turned back to you. With that smile and those eyes. “Then who does that make me...” Javi sat down his expression indicating how correct he thought you were, and picked up a menu. But he was more intent on studying your face with a smile “Are they Danny’s shades?” You cracked a grin “Rayburn Raybans..! They sure are!” “They look good on you...” You couldn’t help but smirk “I look good in a lot of his clothes...” Javi scoffed folding his arms and leaning back; “Yeah okay. Don’t rub in all the great sex you had with Danny Rayburn, which meant you got to wear his shirts, and probably still do because you have a fair few of them.” “Great sex, huh?” You tried unsuccessfully to keep a straight face “You made a baby. I’d say that was pretty great.” “Actually, the sex was god awful so I had to get pregnant to save me for 9 months!” Javier laughed hard at the sarcastic look on your face as you leant on your hand; “Oh god yeah... with the way he used to talk about it I’m sure it was just the worst..!” *** Date & Time Unknown… The breeze was gentle as you walked across the sand. It caught your long white dress, the many layers pulled into a dance of their own by the wind. He was waiting for you, like he always was, down by the water. He seemed to be the only thing the draft didn't stir. His dark button up shirt fitted to him, but open (when wouldn't it be?) over his grey vest top.  The breeze was playful through your hair; and yet still, as if he was a photograph, he was motionless. He didn't belong here... Not that you had ever really thought he did. The sand was hot but it didn't burn you as you moved across it barefoot, your back to Rayburn house. For some reason, for the first time, you felt like it wasn't casting a dark shadow over him. Figuratively or not... True, this man had never sunk down onto one knee, he'd never offered you a perfect diamond in a black velvet box, but you were intent on doing this anyway. By the time you reached him the waves were lapping at his feet. He was staring out over the clear blue water - seeing nothing... seeing EVERYTHING - he was always so in his head... You would never be able to fathom him, never truly. You'd made your peace with that. It took him a few minutes to acknowledge that you were there, almost like everything was moving in slow motion... He turned his back to the sea and laid his crystal blue eyes on you with a smile. Whatever he said was lost in what you wanted him to say. He extended his hand to you and you took it. You had ached for this physical contact for too many months. It was almost ecstasy to have him touch you now. He pulled you back as he walked into the sea, his steps were careful, and his eyes never left yours; of course he wouldn't look at the house. It made sense to end one chapter and begin another right here. But it never made sense to you why it was the setting. He took your other hand as soon as he could reach for it. The sea was cool; but welcoming, and by the time he was done moving you through it, the water came to your waist. You could taste the salt, and yet the wind still didn't move him. You could feel the warmth of his skin and how strong he was by how he held you; you could hear his laugh, clear and bright and infectious enough for you to do the same... The way the smile on his face extended to his eyes at what you were about to do. He was about to really make you his... Everything was quiet; there was no one else. Islamorada was, and would remain, deserted. The sunshine warming your shoulders, your back, turning your hair and eyes a shade lighter and making the dazzling blue of his own even more breathtaking. He gathered your hands to his chest; and you could feel his heartbeat. Even now he was your safe place. Everything you could ever hope to have. The only thing you'd ever need. You moved as close as your dared; aware of every motion of his body, that you made... that the waves made. HYPER aware of every point of contact between the two of you. The lighter layers of fabric of your white dress had spread themselves across the top of the water; it was perfect and beautiful. Everything you could ever have asked for. You continued to stare at each other. Close enough to kiss; playful enough to deny each other that. He studied you like he always did... Like he was memorising every little detail before you disappeared into thin air... You could feel his breath on your skin; you moved your hands; keeping one entwined with his, your other ran to his shoulders, because you had to have him in your arms. You had to have him back where he belonged. He'd been away for far too long. Why wasn't this happening in Miami?  Should you have been surrounded by your friends? As long as he was here, did you even care!? Mercifully he closed the gap; but you didn't dare close your eyes. He squeezed your hand tighter and pulled your waist into his through the water. You needed to breathe but you didn't want to waste this... You let his hand go to link your arms behind him, and he pulled you so close you could feel everything. Your skin burned like fire at every point of contact and you were happy to drown in that flame. You realised you wouldn't get a ring. No gold band to show off. No band at all, but you didn't need it. You would still take his name. You would take everything about him. You always had. That's what love was. By the time he was ready to let your lips go, the ocean was chest high. He laughed again; and shook his head like he couldn't fathom you. As if that was true; he had you figured from night one and you knew it. Your relationship was entirely his orchestration and you realised you would never be able to thank him enough for insisting you called his number. Or thank yourself for having the courage to break your one golden rule. His smile was of pure adoration. Like there was nothing else in his life - and you knew you were looking at him in exactly the same way even though it was a lie for both of you. You took a breath; looking at him looking at you like this you had to say something. Something that before now you had never said. "Daniel Rayburn. You are the love of my life... And I hope to God you never EVER forget that..." His eyes left yours shyly and you felt his heart jump before he found you again. His smile was confident this time. The breeze stirred into life once more... And your mind STILL wouldn't make him real.  *** Devan gripped your white dress a little tighter, making you look from the clear gently swirling water of the pier on Miami’s marina .... You held him a little closer to you, running a hand through his dark hair.  You figured you'd never quite be done with the Keys. How it appeared to you in dreams now… How even now it wouldn’t leave you alone. How Danny wouldn’t either; but you hardly cared about that. You nuzzled his face gently, voice calm and gentle. The breeze was welcome in the summer heat, and you were sure that you and your son should retreat to shade in the next few minutes for your own good. Still. You wanted to see this view; you wanted him to see this view one more time. But; something about it was different this time. Like the breeze was holding you...  And for that moment Danny was real, and you could feel him. Like he was closer to you than he ever had been in life. You shaded your eyes and looked to the sky. Clear blue, hardly a cloud in sight. The sun was brilliant, but the light was somehow soft - not nearly as harsh as you had remembered it... "Danny..." You whispered it... realizing before you close stop it, the single tear sliding down your left cheek... But you weren’t sad, you were smiling. Devan recognized the name of his late father, whether he realized it or not - and he looked to you with those same gorgeous, haunting blue eyes. You repeated the same sentence, adamant that this time, somehow, and somewhere he could hear it. "... Never, ever forget that..."

***

Viva Caputa, Saturday Evening “This restaurant has been shut more often than it’s been open since reopening!!” Jason joked as he finally sat down. “Excuse me! I think you’ll find the party to open, and tonight, are the only two nights! We’ve been open months!!” “Do you realise how scary that is though?!” He placed his hand on yours “I get scared every time I see Devan. That boy is growin’...” “I know...” “That’s how I’m measuring this restaurant’s opening time.” He nodded “That little man.” Javier leant forward from his seat further down the table; “Isn’t it more shocking to you we’ve survived with Y/N as a manager?!?” His grin was goading, you folded your arms with a shake of your head but chose to stay patient with him. “Oh? Uh huh?” You argued with these two in the same way you’d seen Danny do it. The playful kitchen banter you loved so much before was now yours to control. And you mimicked Danny and his sayings as often as possible. They loved it secretly. But often Jason would groan “Ugh! She’s won this with another Danny phrase” “Hello. Danny Rayburn. Didn’t realise you were still in charge.” You were grateful for that. For every time Jason would scowl at his own work and mimic Danny down to his voice “No! Jason! It’s not chemistry!!!” And how you and Javi would then yell “It’s about feel!!!” The first time the three of you hadn’t expected it, and had the whole restaurant giving you funny looks as the dead five-second silence turned into laughing so hard you all cried. Maybe there was sadness mixed in with those tears then, but no more. “Yeah. I’m surprised you’ve not killed us!” You leant back in your chair “Javi, there’s still time. Besides, where the hell would I be without you two?!” “Take it Javi. She’s got a damn good point!”  That had the whole table laughing again. Tonight you’d shut the restaurant because it was the first time all of you had been able to get together since you opened. Everything was always busy for you now as it was. But for your family too. And your friends. So, you could be no more thankful to have them all around the table. This was for Danny. You didn’t say it but everyone knew.  

Everyone started to peel off the later that it got; Devan was fast asleep by the time you handed him to your mom “I won’t be too long mama...” “Nonsense. Stay. They are your friends... we’ll be fine until you get home.” You gave a nod and embraced her and your father “I love you guys so much... Thank you. For always being there no matter what. And for Danny.” “What about him? You already know how much he meant to us.”“I know. But I don’t think I say it enough... You could have disapproved. Told me to not see him again. Done anything but welcome him into your lives like he was always there...” “Darling. Even if you’d have listened. Even if we had disapproved...” She said it with conviction (as if anyone could ever disapprove of Danny) “... You can’t break up chemistry like that. You’ll never be able to break up chemistry like that... look what it has blessed you with...” she indicated to Devan as your dad embraced you again; “Estrellita. Our one wish is that you’d have met him sooner. If you’d have got onto the professional scene... you would have surpassed us.” You laughed and pushed his arm gently “Is it ironic that I could technically have met him 12 years earlier!? I blame you guys for not dragging me to the Keys!” He had to laugh “You would.” then he kissed your forehead, “We will see you later. Please... whenever you are ready. Do not waste your friends... you never wasted him...” “I tried my best...” You turned to kiss your mom goodbye and then Devan. “Mi Angelito...” He grasped for your fingertips lost in dreams, you giggled and took a step back “When that boy is grown up and looks like Danny I just don’t know what I’m gonna do!” “Protect him from all the ladies? He will be a heartbreaker, if that’s the case.” Your dad winked making you laugh “Oh yeah. He’s a pretty good combination of genes... Danny Rayburn with a Latino flair? Lord have mercy on those girls.” * Jason and Javi left together as usual, making you look between them with a teasing smirk; “If you weren’t married, I’d swear you two had a thing!” “Shush! Y/N! Not with my wife around!” “Oh my god-! Jason! Did you TELL her!!!!???” Javier looked about as shocked as you’d ever seen him and let out a lament “What am I gonna do now-!? It’ll be talk of the town!!!” You looked to Jason who was shaking his head “He would be such a brat, Y/N, I just couldn’t.” “Oi! Take that back!” “Make me!” “Was that a threat or a come on?!” “Oh my god-!” You held your hands up “forget I said anything. Goodbye! I’ll see you tomorrow.” “Bright and early obviously. Slave driver.” “She’s like Danny though, ain’t she? Doesn’t actually need to BE here on shift.” Jason leant in to kiss your cheek “Get your beauty sleep! I’m sure Danny never let you have any...” he raised his eyebrows with a cheeky wink “Haha.” You hugged him “Not too early Jase. You two of anyone deserve a rest.” “Yeah, yeah, you mean that about as much as he did...!” Javi threw his hand in the general direction of the picture on the wall, but embraced you with a kiss “Drink one for us, one for our son, and one for Danny okay?” “Okay... I will.” You had no intention on drinking that much. But you’d appease him none the less “Oh. Whilst you’re at it. Make it tequila shots.” “Jason get out of here whilst I still love you!!” * Nolan was the very last to leave, and Amanda and Evie had left you alone to quietly talk to him whilst they when around picking alcohol for the three of you to have drinks. But eventually he checked his watch with a sigh; “I guess I better head home. Call it a night!” “Home?” You raised an eyebrow with a smile “Yeah, okay maybe if it’s yours it’s more home than mine...” “I didn’t say that...!! I didn’t mean—!” He sighed and covered his face, “—of course your place is home... but... This is dads...” “Nolan! Sweetheart!” You were laughing “It’s okay...” He slid off the bar stool and you accompanied him, although he walked slow, he didn’t really want to leave - but he probably had a point. A lot of them would be back here early tomorrow for work; and that was probably Nolan included. Jason loves teaching Danny’s son, you thought that was because it made him feel closer to Danny, made both of them feel closer to Danny, but Jason could only do it when it was quiet. Which meant early starts. But Nolan had consistently risen to the occasion.

He stopped at the door; “I’ll see you tomorrow!” “Sure thing! I’ve got some work in the morning but... I’ll be in for evening rush. Don’t you worry.” “Can I come stay... this weekend?” You tilted your head, with a small smile “Baby, you don’t need permission to come and stay. It’s your place too. You know, just drive over when you want.” but you nodded, “Of course you can, please do.” “Okay...” he grinned “You know it’s just so I get to hang with my brother, right?” You laughed “Oh my god, you are gonna be so much trouble when he grows up.” “Me or him?!” “Both of you...!” You reached up, and tidied his dark hair, placing your hand on his cheek for a minute; “Nolan... He was so proud of you. I know he was ‘Danny’ about it and didn’t really ever say it, but, he was. And I know he is...” You had to bite your lip for a second or you were going to cry, you gave your head a shake and then all at once enveloped Nolan in a hug “…I’m proud of you, too… You’ve grown up so much! I’m just… so proud of the man you’re becoming!” He wound his arms around you too “…I know…” his voice was quiet “You’re a great mom, Mom.” You froze and pulled back slightly. That was surely accidental. But his face was serious. Nolan gave a smile to your quizzical look; how you looked like you wanted to believe he meant it, whilst at the same time preparing for him to take it back. “You don’t have to say anything… I’ve wanted to call you that for a long time…” You just shook your head again and took his hands in yours, there wasn’t necessarily anything for you to say. And he knew you had so much you wanted to say. So you just smiled; “You’re a good son Nolan. And a great big brother.” That just made him laugh, “I mean… I can only try, right?” He opened the door and you followed him outside, to make sure he drove off safely “Text me when you get home, okay?” You always asked, but now you felt like you had to rise to your new status. “Mmm hmm!” He gave a smile, and embraced you one last time before walking to his car. Nolan stopped, and then turned, waving he called back with a grin; “Love you mom!” And you laughed; “I love you too!” *** Eventually it was just you Amanda and Evie left. Sitting at table 14. And when Amanda realised she took a deep breath out “My god. Can you believe this? We were RIGHT here when it all started.” Evie put her hands to her head like she was having some kind of existential crisis “How is that so long ago? But why has it also FLOWN?!” She turned to you “If there is one thing I will never forget, it’s the way he looked at you. I’m not going to say it was like you were the only thing he ever wanted. But in hindsight...” You could feel the heat in your cheeks but at least knew you could blame the alcohol; “Yeah and I told you I was done with Danny Rayburn.” “For like what; an hour?!” Amanda smirked “Two. Give me some credit here!” You winked “Also. If we’re getting technical. Neither of you were there when it started the night before. but I’m sure you wish you were.” “A foursome??!” Evie raised an eyebrow “With you girls? I dunno. Sign me up!” “Invite Javi.” Your eyes flicked between them and Amanda went pink; “Do you still have a thing for him?!” “Baby, it didn’t work.” “Make it work.” She leant on her hand and smiled at you “There is one fairytale here. And it’s your story, Y/N. All yours.” You knew she was asking you to forget the end with her statement. Which was asking a lot. But she didn’t say it because of how it ended. You knew that, and you smiled. Leaning your head on your hand – you didn’t need to thank her for saying something like that, she knew you’d be thankful. And maybe, it wasn’t all over… You and Danny had something special; you had this, your baby and Nolan… And his friends. No, it wasn’t over. It would never be truly over… “Another drink?!” “Oh.” You put your finished glass down as you spotted the time on the clock; “Naw, girls! We should get to leaving, I have a little boy to return to!” Even though your parents had said take your time, you didn’t want to misuse their charity. Evie huffed; “Okay. Fine! But, party back to your place! We’ll get the cab there!” You rolled your eyes “Fiiiine… But do not wake Devan up or so help me God.” They asked if you wanted help clearing the glasses away but you waved that suggestion away, you wanted some quiet time. A little time alone… In this place of all of them. Your friends understood that even if you didn’t say it; and both hugged you – although you’d all be getting the same cab. They headed outside after you’d told them to go call one. You’d have time before it arrived… You stacked the glasses by the washer; first thing tomorrow you’d get that squared away. You checked the kitchen with a smile and flicked the lights off. Your checks were exactly the same as Danny’s… back to front – every table, so it looked perfect… turning down lights as you went. Until you got to the bar… You paused and your eyes flicked to the picture of him on the wall. You didn’t realise how much you were smiling until your cheeks hurt. You leant over, grabbing a glass and the bottle of whisky you had yet to put away you poured yourself one and took a deep breath. Something hit you, and you had to answer it… You made your way slowly to the picture, still with that same smile. Your heart was going quick; like you were that girl sitting at table 14 again as he leant over you and told you to call him. Like you were the woman on the dance floor reacting to the way he held you like no other man ever had. Like the first time he kissed you. The first time he told you he loved you. The first time you really got to make love to him… Those gorgeous blue eyes were holding yours just the same as his used to; picture or not. And that smile on his face that you loved so much. Danny would always be beautiful. His soul would always be beautiful. He’d given you everything; you only hoped that you’d managed to give him just as much back… He deserved that more than anything… You tipped the glass to the picture; “Danny… This is all for you. And I hope you’re proud of me baby. Because I’m so proud of you. And I’ll wait patiently to see you again, because I’m gonna be here for our kids growing up. But… still I can’t wait. I can’t WAIT to be in your arms once more. Because I love you. Danny. And I’ll never stop loving you. Thank YOU. For loving ME.” ---

Thank you for being a part of this 💙💜 If you’ve made it to here, and you’ve invested yourself in all 10 Parts - congratulations you’ve read 87,276+ words.  Because I know sometimes I added words after I put in the word count

@3134045126 @happyskywhale @waytoplantann @krnncsbtch - Thank you my darlings for sticking with me to the end! I’m so greatful! 💙💜 And, as I like to end with GIFs... Please accept some of my favourite Danny’s...  ❤

[morkeus]

love someone | j.jaehyun

Jung Jaehyun | 1.5K In which you can’t understand how you got so lucky to have Jaehyun in your life

There are days I wake up and I pinch myself You’re with me, not someone else And I’m scared, yeah, I’m still scared That it’s all a dream

'Cause you still look perfect as days go by Even the worst ones, you make me smile I'd stop the world if it gave us time

'Cause when you love someone You open up your heart When you love someone You make room

- Love Someone by Lukas Graham

There are days I wake up and I pinch myself You’re with me, not someone else And I’m scared, yeah, I’m still scared That it’s all a dream

7:50 AM. Your eyes fluttered open. In ten minutes, 0 mile, would be filling the room. Unlike other days, you woke up earlier than Jaehyun. Usually, he would get up earlier than you and prepare breakfast for you before rushing off for broadcasts. Today was a Monday which meant that Jaehyun did not have anything until NCT’s Night Night. It was only after you shifted around that you noticed the both of you had fallen asleep in each other’s arms.

You took this rare opportunity to admire Jaehyun’s face, unknowingly tracing out his features. The both of you first met when he was still a trainee and he decided to visit the little café you worked at even before the sun was up. You can still vividly recall the day he entered the empty café, sleepily ordering “one croissant and a regular caramel macchiato please.” Somehow, it became his daily routine to visit the café at exactly 5:05 AM  to order the same thing. It was only after visiting for a week that he started talking to you, making you look forward to work every day just to have a thirty-minute chat with the sleepy boy.

It only took you a month to completely fall for the boy in your arms. He would spend the mornings telling you about his rigorous training schedule which slowly evolved into exclusive news regarding his potential debut. Some days, he would enter completely exhausted from the non-stop training and on others, he would enter with a bright smile on his face, excited to sing to you the song he had been working on. Regardless, he left the café each morning with a wide smile, looking forward to the next morning. Of course, following his great debut, the frequency of his visits dwindled but that did not stop him from sharing his life with you as he turned to alternatives such as calling you when the other members were sleeping and texting you before music shows.

Here you were eight years down the road, sleeping in his arms. Despite the multitude of girls he met, be it from collaborations, music shows or even label-mates, Jaehyun reserved a special spot in his heart for you. How did you get so lucky? You probably saved thousands of lives in your previous life to be able to have him by your side. Growing up, you never believed in happily ever after or having prince charming sweep you off your feet but the boy with the sweetest voice and the cutest dimples chose you of all people. Of all the seven billion people on this planet, he wanted to spend his life with you. Maybe the coffee you made contributed to it but that’s beside the point. Being with Jaehyun was a dream come true that you did not know you even had. And you hoped you never would have to wake up from this dream.

“A penny for your thoughts, babe,” While you were reminiscing, you failed to notice that Jaehyun had woken up. Looking up from his lips, you stared into his brown eyes and you once again knew that he was the onefor you. Even though you had been together for almost three years, you found yourself falling in love with him all over again each day.

“Good morning to you too. I was just thinking about us…” You trailed off, choosing to focus your attention on his dimples instead.

Jaehyun instantaneously picked up on the words you left unsaid, “I can’t believe you still think you’re not good enough for me. I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you. I swear, I probably saved thousands of lives to have you… the best coffee maker in the whole of Korea.”

Although Jaehyun was teasing you, you could feel the sincerity radiating off of him as he lifted you chin up to give you a peck on the lips. Oh, you prayed that you would never have to wake up from this dream.

'Cause you still look perfect as days go by Even the worst ones, you make me smile I'd stop the world if it gave us time

8:06 PM You had decided to cook dinner for the two of you because Jaehyun whined about having to eat take out for the past week. Whatever your prince wanted, you tried your utmost best to deliver. Upon receiving your text in the morning promising his favourite pasta, he told you that he would be back at 7:30 PM.

Before you could text him, you heard the front door open, followed by a series of frustrated groans. Despite the deep furrow between his brows and the frown on his face, seeing him in the hoodie you bought him to celebrate his debut only made your heart flutter and warmth spread through your entire body. To think that this giant baby who was stomping towards you with his arms open was yours to keep.

His wrap his arms around you, nestling his nose in the crook of your neck, “I’m sorry I’m late baby, I was struggling to write lyrics for a song.”His whining only made your smile widen as you stroked his back comfortingly. Jaehyun may have been more than a head taller than you. But the way he mumbled in your shoulder, tightening his arms around you, made you feel as if you had the power to protect him from the world.

Wanting to reheat the food for Jaehyun, you tried to extract yourself from his hug, which failed terribly with Jaehyun trapping you within his arms.

“Jae, I have to heat the food up. Let go of me… please?” Jaehyun remained silent, keeping his arms around you. You figured that he was really affected by his inability to perform well at work today and sighed, letting him have his way.

It was only after five minutes of being in each other’s arms that Jaehyun whispered. “I’ll never let you go.”If he had been any softer, you definitely would not have heard him. But the house was silent safe for your beats beating synchronously. Jaehyun was not one to be very vocal about his feelings, making you treasure moments like these when he was vulnerable, trusting his heart in your hands.

Nothing had changed since the mornings at the café. No matter how he felt before meeting you, being in your presence changed everything and time seemed to stop whenever you were together. There was something about you that had the ability to make him smile, even on the worst days. You accepted him for his flaws and loved him the same. In that moment, Jaehyun promised himself that he would complete the song because you deserved the best and nothing less.

'Cause when you love someone You open up your heart When you love someone You make room

12:15 AM “Night Night!”

You had been waiting outside the radio station for Jaehyun to finish hosting. Being with someone like Jaehyun meant having dates at the most obscure hours and locations to avoid being sighted by the fans. In another universe where you had not met Jaehyun, you would probably be in bed sipping a cup of warm milk in preparation for bed. Thankfully, in this universe, he was yours.

Hearing Jaehyun’s voice get louder as he greeted Johnny, “night night”, you quickly hid the box you were holding behind your back. Your original plan had been to scare him by jumping onto his back or something along the lines of that. But the moment he stepped out of the station, in some hoodie and simple sweatpants, you found yourself rooted to the ground. You felt like a school girl meeting her crush all over again with your cheeks dusted with pink.

Jaehyun’s eyes instantly lit up when he spotted you standing there in one of his shirt, shyly avoiding his eyes. Aware of how he affected you, Jaehyun decided to tease you, “Oh Y/N! Are you here to visit Johnny?” There he was standing before you with his usual boyish grin, staring at you like you were the only girl in the world.

Knowing that you had the exact same effect on him, you quipped, “Yeah, I’m here to deliver his favourite croissant and bring him out on a date!”Watching his jaw drop in mock disbelief, made you chuckle out loud as you reached out for his hand, tugging him to the café that now belonged to the both of you.

Walking hand-in-hand, you talked about everything and anything, and in both your hearts, you and Jaehyun could not imagine living any other way. Sure, compromises had to be made like in every relationship but when you love someone, you make room.

[noonachronicles]

Here to Mars

Song Min Ho/ Mino X Reader

Word Count: 10.6K

Genre: Smut, Angst, Fluff, Futuristic...Space...Stuff?, Military!AU

Warnings: Mature themes including, sexual activity, vulgar language, and intergalactic violence.

A/N: Thank you to my Mino Anon for waking up something inside of me that was apparently dying to get out. HUGE thank you to @memoiresofaneternaldreamer for doing a light proof of this monster, but mostly for this AMAZING moodboard that made me cry at work because I wasn’t expecting such a perfect gift. I hope people like it, even if you don’t...here it is anyway because I worked really hard on it...

Honey, it's in the stars. And you're my everything from here to Mars

And every word I say I truly mean 

Dear darling, I hope I'm being clear 'cause there's no one like you on earth

That can be my universe.  

Lieutenant Song Min Ho was trouble. You knew this about him before he even stepped onto your ship. You knew because every single one of his superiors before you warned of him. Of his disregard for the rules and inability to follow direction. The thing about Song Min Ho, or Mino as he had apparently preferred, was that he was also the best known pilot in about a billion galaxies. What was worse was that he knew it. So when your admiral had told you he would be joining your crew on the G.S.S. Mobb you couldn’t exactly refuse.You had the best ship in the entire Galactic Guard, it made sense you would have the best pilots.

When he finally arrived it took him a total of five minutes to plant himself on your bad side. You were always one of the welcoming officers for new recruits to your ship, and the smug way he entered your bridge as if it was already his infuriated you. Mino was instantly attracted to you and didn’t seem to feel the need to hide that fact. Your strength, your power, there was even something about your clear disinterest in him as a subordinate that drove him wild.

Unfortunately, you learned, he really was as great a pilot as everyone had suggested. He’d been quick to fall into a leadership role with the rest of your flight crew. And in his first three months on the ship he’d seen 15 minor combat situations and had been able to deflect any and all damages from the main ship. That was the only reason you could justify not having written him up already for relentlessly causing mischief throughout your domain. You did everything you could in an attempt to ignore him not realizing that it was your attention he was seeking all along. Once Mino had an idea of what might warrant your regard he concocted his stupidest plan yet.

It had been a slow day, giving you the chance to walk the ship with your second in command. It wasn’t often you got the chance to really take inventory and you were pleased to find that everything had looked good. The ship was spotless and well maintained. On other ships an unannounced walkthrough would leave room for mistakes, but your crew was the best and your ship was always flawless.   

“What’s this?” you asked as the two of you reached the flight deck.

It seemed a large group of rowdy pilots had gathered in the hanger and were looking out into the vast empty space just beyond the ships seal.

“Uhhh…” your second tried to search the logs on his handheld for information on what was happening. “I don’t know, Captain. There shouldn’t be any activity down here.”

“So who the fuck is that?” you asked as one of your fighters shot passed the opening of the ship at high speed..

The crowd of pilots, maintenance crew members, and really anyone within earshot of the flight deck, cheered wildly. You watched the fighter shoot back and forth, playing chicken with small meteors, blasting them to bits and then speeding through their remains. In general being a showoff.

“Mino…” You spat, making your way through the crowd.

Everyone had been too preoccupied with his show that they didn’t even recognize that their Captain was among them. With your arms folded across your chest you watched his show. As he went on the crowd grew even rowdier, thrilled by his performance. At times even you found it hard not to allow for an impressed smirk.

So enthralled by his flying you barely noticed the other pilot that finally recognized you in the crowd. He grabbed his radio and you could hear the krshht of his call out. “Uh...lieutenant you’re gonna want to come back in.”

“What for?” You could just hear the smug grin on Mino’s face over the radio.

“You’ve gained an audience.”

“Thanks, that’s the point, Seungyoon.”

“Mino… the captain is down here.” He lowered his voice but not well enough, “She looks pissed.”

“Ah. Roger that lieutenant. I’ll be coming back in then.” He said with a cheerfulness that made it seem like that’s what he’d been waiting to hear all day.

“Thank you, Lieutenant Kang.” You said before making your way back out of the crowd.

You were going to finish your walk. Go back to the bridge. Hopefully finish up your quiet day. Instead you heard the unmistakable sound of crushing, scrapping metal and the entire gathered audience gasp in concern. You turned back to the seal just in time to see Mino’s fighter come crashing back onto the flight deck. Narrowly missing other fighters and handfuls of crew members. Once he had skidded to a complete halt Mino released the hood and jumped, with a superfluous amount of enthusiasm, from the cockpit to a round of cheers from the crew.

“I’m alive!” He shouted happily. “I think I broke my arm...but fuck it! I’m alive!”

His eyes scanned the crowd until he met your infuriated gaze. The smile on his lips hardly faltered at all.

—

“You’re on medical probation with that broken arm, Song.” You said almost the second he entered your quarters later that afternoon, after having his injuries catered to in the infirmary. “And you’re lucky I don’t have you removed from my ship completely for the fighter you destroyed.”

“Captain. Good to finally see you again.” He smiled, taking a seat in the chair across from your desk. He casually crossed one leg over the other and placed his casted arm on top of his thigh. “It feels like it’s been years since you welcomed me onto this immaculate ship and then never came to see me again.”

“I am the captain of a ship whose crew is over a thousand. Do you think I have time to babysit every single one of you?” You asked slamming your pen down finally looking up at him. “That’s definitely how you behave.”

“I just couldn’t figure out why you’d been ignoring me.” he said with a sigh of relief, clearly ignoring your words, “now it seems so clear.”

“And what reason seems so clear to you now?” You questioned in a huff of frustration.

“Obviously, you’re afraid to fall in love with me.” he grinned, “I suppose I don’t blame you. You have a great crew here but none of them, I've noticed, have been brought on for their good looks. Well, with the exception of you, if you ask me. Not that you aren’t also a great leader. I’d say it’s about half and half. Half the severity of your hair bun, half the severity of your leadership. It makes for a whole...lot of sexy.”

“Song, you’re the best pilot this ship has ever seen. I’d hate to have to have you removed for blatant misconduct and sexual harassment of a superior.” You hoped he could tell by the look on your face that you weren’t playing his game.

“My apologies, Captain. I meant no disrespect.” He said solemnly. You could see the grin forming before he muttered, “I must have misread the situation.”

“There is no situation, Lieutenant.” You said sternly. “I’m serious. Watch your mouth on my ship or I’ll have you transferred to the docks.”

He looked up at you wide eyed, finally sensing your seriousness. The docks were career suicide for a space pilot. It was essentially being trapped on earth, unable to fly, unable to do anything but watch the stars pass overhead. Older generations likened it to to working the graveyard shift at an actual graveyard. “I’m sorry, Captain. Please, I’ll do anything.”

You sighed. “Just do your job, Song. Nothing more, nothing less. And if you ruin any more of my equipment trying to show off, I promise you, you’re gone.”

“Thank you, Captain.” For once it seemed he was sincere.

“You’re excused, Lieutenant.” You said looking back down at your paperwork. “I hope I won’t have to see you again soon.”

He stood from the chair and took a few steps towards the door, “What if I wanted to see you again, soon?”

You looked up from your work unsure you’d heard him correctly, “Excuse me?”

“Um. Weren’t you going to ask about my injury?” He asked innocently.

“Does this look like the infirmary to you, Song? Do I look like someone who deals with injuries?” You asked with a furrowed brow.

“I don’t know.” He pushed his hair back out of his face with his uninjured hand and smiled. An actual, genuine smile. Not something smug but something real. It took all you had not to audibly react to how handsome he truly was. He looked down at his toes, “I think the painkillers are setting in.”

“Go... rest then.” You said quietly forcing your eyes back down to your papers.

—

Almost a month had passed and you were pleased that Mino had stayed mostly off your radar. At least in the sense that he wasn’t being needlessly destructive to get your attention. He was only being needlessly obnoxious and constantly hovering around you. With his injured wing he was unable to fly which meant he had plenty of time to hang around your bridge. Which he did, everyday, under the guise of learning the navigation system.

“Captain,” the second officer said stepping up behind you as you sat reading your charts. “There’s an unidentified ship that's been circling our location slowly for the last hour. They're also getting closer with each rotation.”

“I’ve noticed them, barely. Their movements have been very subtle.” You noted, “Have you attempted contact?”

“Yes ma’am. They’re receiving our messages but are apparently refusing response.”

“You feel they’re a threat?” You asked watching the nervous body language of the officer.

He swallowed a lump in his throat, “I don’t like to make assumptions based off of such little information...but something feels wrong.”

“Captain.” Mino said suddenly at your side

“You’re on medical probation.” You didn’t even satiate him with a glance in his direction before shutting him down.

“I can do this.” He whined.

That made you turn to look at him, “There’s nothing to do yet. If you weren’t so trigger happy all the time maybe you could have avoided the injury you already have.”

“I got this from showing off, not from combat. And I’m basically healed already.” He argued slipping the sling he’d been wearing over the top of his head as if that meant he was suddenly cured.

“I said there’s nothing to do yet, Mino!” Instantly Mino raised an eyebrow at you. He knew he’d gotten to you or was at least getting close. The second officer eyed you suspiciously as well. “Lieutenant Song. Please, step back and await any further direction….from...somewhere else.”

“Yes, Captain.” He smiled to himself before taking several steps back, but still close enough to listen.

You moved to your chair and sat down, considering your options carefully. If the ship was friendly you didn’t want to come off as too aggressive. If it was unfriendly you didn’t want to make contact unprepared. You sighed, a sense of worry overwhelmed you. Your gut told you this wasn’t going to go well and that you should risk coming off as aggressive for the sake of your crews safety.

You requested that the second officer open a line of communication and turned to Mino with mild reluctance. “Will you please go down to the hanger and have six combat fighters prepared for flight on my order?”

“Depends on if I get to be in one of those fighters.” He said running his tongue over his lip, thirsty for the chance to be back in the air.

“Lieutenant… don't make me say medical probation again.”

He cleared his throat and looked away from you like a teenage girl having a tantrum. “Fine. I’ll get your fighters ready.”

“Thank you, Lieutenant Song.” You said with a slight eye roll.

You waited for confirmation that your pilots were ready for flight before opening the line of communication. “This is the captain of the Galactic Guard’s fleet ship, the G.S.S. Mobb. Please identify yourself.”

Waiting for a response you turned to your safety officer and requested shields up.

“If you do not identify yourself appropriately we will have to assume that you are a hostile intruder of this quadrant and we will have to take action against you and your ship. Again, I request that you please identify yourself to avoid any unnecessary action be taken.”

Radio silence. The knot in your stomach grew tighter. It seemed silly to look out at a ship in the distance and assume intentions but you definitely felt threatened. Finally there was a return message. It was clear from the first few words that the female voice that came over your system was a robotic translation.

“This Uag’r Barlak. Leader of the Kronon star system. Your Galactic Guard has wrongfully taken control of a star system that does not belong to them. May your death and the destruction of your ship act as a message to your Guard that tyranny will not be tolerated by the Barlakian’s. We are the resistance.”

“Are the shields up?” You asked urgently.

“Yes, Captain!” a voice called from one of the controls officers.

“Send the fighters!” You ordered, and watched as the ship that had been circling you neared.

They immediately began shooting their distance cannons at your ship, and you could see almost two dozen combat fighters release from their hanger.

“Get me the flight deck.” You said nervously gripping the edge of the table you’d been standing over.

“This is the flight deck, Captain.” said a voice over the intercom.

“We need at least a dozen more fighters in the air, right now.” You paused, “Is this Lieutenant Kang?”

“Yes, ma’am. We have a dozen fighters preparing for flight. They should be up and out in less than thirty seconds.” He said knowing and quickly trying to avoid your next question.

“Where is Lieutenant Song?” The air went silent. You could almost feel the heat of your rage as your neck grew red with anger. “KANG!”

“He’s in the air, Captain.”

You took a deep breath and looked down at the table. It was a 4D gridded map of the space around you. Your ship, the Barlak ship, the fighters. You could see it all happening in front of you in real time. Your eyes passed over the combat happening outside your ship and you wondered passively which fighter was Songs.

“Lieutenant Kang.” You said after a deep, calming breath, “Stay alert and keep your line open for any further requests.”

“Yes, Captain, of course.”

You watched the battle rage on for nearly an hour. Mino was superb, as always, flying circles around enemy ships and taking them down. You had several other amazing pilots as well, taking out their small combat fighters and destroying the larger ship cannons. By your count however, you’d lost three of your own fighters. So far your biggest loss of this deployment. Your heart ached for your lost pilots but you didn’t have time to be sad about it.

“Shields?” You asked watching a fourth fighter narrowly miss a laser cannon shot. Instead your ships shields took the brunt.

“Seventy-five percent, Captain.”

“Admiral Yang has sent transmission, Captain. He wants to know if he needs to send additional assistance.” Your second asked hesitantly.

“We’ve got this.” You responded tight lipped. You hated that your admiral would undermine you like that.

You weren’t wrong. With one of your pilots taking out the enemy ships second to last outer cannon, they finally cut their losses and jumped into hyper speed, leaving three of their smaller fighters in the lurch.

“Kang, bring your fighters back in. Our outer cannons will take care of the stragglers.”

Several of your bridge crew high fived and cheered. You let out a long breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding onto. You received congratulations left and right, but there was something you had to do. You left the celebration of the bridge and made your way swiftly to the flight deck.

“Where’s Lieutenant Song?” You asked the second you reached the flight deck command center.

You observed several injured pilots of the ones that made it back to the ship. Several of your fighters looked nearly destroyed. You’d never seen your ship in such disarray. It should have bothered you more. It bothered you that it didn’t bother you. It bothered you that your sole concern was why you hadn’t seen Mino’s fighter in the hanger. Why he wasn’t limping around somewhere being showered in sympathy by his peers. Why he wasn’t annoying you for attention while you were trying to focus on the true issues at hand.

“Where is Lieutenant Song?” You asked again to someone else this time.

The crew member looked up from where he was collecting debris, “He went straight to the infirmary, Captain.”

“Thank you. Is everything under control down here? As well as it can be?”

“Yes ma’am.” The crew member nodded.

“Do you need anything from me?”

“No ma’am. We’re just fine.” He responded sincerely.

You nodded, your head somewhere else completely. “If you need anything, just let me know.”

“Yes ma’am. Thank you ma’am.” He nodded and went back to his business.

Your hands shook nervously as you made your way to the infirmary. You’d been stopped several times and tried to remain as calm and collected as possible. Hoping that you didn’t seem too much as if you were desperately trying to be somewhere else. As expected after the attack the infirmary was chaos. As many injured pilots that you’d observed earlier, there were twice as many here with injuries much more severe and the damage to your own ship had left a few bruised and battered crew members needing attention. Even still it didn’t take you long to find Mino, you just searched for the one nurse who was blushing furiously and giggling like a middle schooler.

You snatched the curtain sectional and tugged it open. Mino was sitting up, shirtless, on a gurney. He was mostly bandaged already, a charming smile on his face. The nurse had been applying ointment to one nasty looking cut on his side.

“Captain.” He said snapping you from your obvious stare.

“Um.” Your eyes shifted from his smooth, muscular chest to his amused eyes. “I thought you’d look much worse.”

“Sorry to disappoint.”

“I’ll need to speak with you once your done here. About your disregard for direct orders.” You turned towards the nurse he’d been flirting with. “Are any of his injuries severe?”

“No ma’am.” She smiled something small, the way you were asserting your dominance and aggression was very clear to her. “He should be done here shortly.”

“Good.” You said and turned back to Mino who was biting his lip as he watched you. “My quarters then. As soon as your done here, Song.”

“Aye, aye.” He smiled cheekily. As you turned to leave, in his most suggestive tone yet he finished with, “Captain.”

You stopped for a beat, wanting to say something, took a deep breath and thought against it. You walked away without looking back. You weren’t sure what you were going to do once he met you in your quarters. You’d made the request too hastily. Your internal arguments began immediately. What you had wanted to do was kiss him, to finally wipe that perpetually smug smile off his face once and for all. You’d wanted to have your hands on him like that nurse did. Taking care of his wounds. Wounds he’d earned protecting your ship.

The thought made you stop in your tracks, in the hallway near the bridge. You reached out, clutching the wall for support. This was not going to be good, you’d let him get under your skin, every layer. He was too handsome. You’d been too lonely. You were letting your more primal desires take over from what you knew was your more evolved train of thought.

“Captain?” You looked up to see your second in command looking at you with concern and realized that you still had your hand pressed against the wall, and were panting deeply as if you’d been running.

“Yes?”

“Is everything okay? Do you need help?”

You straighten yourself and cleared your throat. “I’m fine. I…” You wanted to blame it on an anxiety attack, something generic. Stress from the battle, but something like that would only be seen as weakness. “I’m fine. Thank you for your concern. I’ll be in my quarters for the rest of the afternoon if you need me.”

“The ship is going to be fine, Captain. You made good calls today. Get some rest, you earned it.” He said patting your shoulder gently. “I’ll make sure no one bothers you.”

You’d been in your quarters only a minute, it felt like. Only long enough to down an entire pitcher of water and let your hair down around your shoulders.  Still your mouth felt dry when the knock sounded on your door. You cursed under your breath and turned towards it, sitting on the edge of your desk as casually as possible.

“Come in.” You called.

“Captain, you wanted to see me?” Mino said stepping inside your office.

“Shut the door please, Lieutenant.”

You watched as Mino turned and closed the door. He looked back at you over his shoulder with a cocky smirk and your heart started racing immediately.

“Anything else, Captain?”

“Lock it, please. And you can wipe that smirk off your face while your at it.” You commanded. You would remain in control, at least that’s what you told yourself. Even if you didn’t quite believe it.

Mino did as he was told and then stood in the center of the room at attention. His hooded eyes watching you relentlessly. You wished he’d look somewhere else, your awards or your desk, the carpet, or just anywhere but your body. You already felt like your body was a flashing neon sign begging for him to take you. The way he stared, tongue rolling over his lip, only confirmed it.

You pushed yourself from your desk quietly and stepped towards him. He was still shirtless. Too bandaged on his one shoulder to have been able to slip back into his undershirt, so he had the arms of his flight suit tied around his waist to keep it from slipping all the way down. Although it was still low enough that you could see the start of his Adonis lines.

“Are you okay?” You asked quietly, sincerely, observing the cuts and clear bruising beginning on his skin. You stood face to face now. Too close.

He could not hid the shock on his face. Eyebrows raised and mouth drawn back in surprise. “I thought you didn’t care about-“

“Please, just answer my question.” You sighed, he exhausted you.

In every way shape and form Song Mino exhausted you. He chipped away at you. Like a fool, you’d believed, chipping at an iceberg with an ice pic. And yet somehow his persistence wasn’t as futile as you assumed it would be.

He turned his head just slightly. Your faces just inches from one another. You bit your lip as he swallowed the lump in his throat. He didn’t think he’d ever get here, but the air around the pair of you was thick, and he couldn’t help but believe you were waiting for him to kiss you. He wasn’t entirely wrong.  

“I’m going to be just fine, Captain. Don’t you worry about me.” He said quietly, softly.

You didn’t move, he assumed you wouldn’t, so he tilted his head even closer testing the waters. You kept your eyes on the wall opposite you, as his eyes trailed over your skin, “What you did out there was stupid, Song.”

“It’s not the stupidest thing I’ve done and I’m sure I’ll do worse in the future.” He whispered because his lips at this point were already so close to your ear he could practically taste you.

You gulped. “Thank you, for saving my ship.”

“I’d do anything for you.” He said, his breath hot against your skin. Your eyes were burning holes in the wall across from you. “Just tell me what you want me to do and consider it done.”

“I can’t.” Everything inside of you was conflicted and fighting. You wanted him so badly but you risked the job you’d worked so hard for.

“Can’t what? You can’t tell me? What if I guess then?” His lips brushed softly against your skin and you thought you might cry. “If I had to guess, I’d guess that you want me to…”

Your breathe grew heavy in your chest as he raised his hand to your collar, pushing your shirt to the side, exposing a patch of your skin. You inhaled deeply. His fingertips were rough on the skin but his palm rested gently on the top of your breast. It was a lot of physical attention you didn’t feel prepared for.

“Please, don't tease.” You begged quietly, the anticipation too much. His eyes trailed over your face, catching the pain in your gaze. The tremble of your lips. The unsteady way your breath caught in your chest. The heavy pounding of your heart under his palm.

“If I had to guess. I’d guess you want me to kiss you. Here.” He pressed his lips against your collarbone and instantly moaned at your scent. “Here.” He said kissing another patch of sensitive skin. “Here.” He said sucking the skin of your throat gently between his lips. “Here.” He pressed another kiss against your jaw just below your ear.

Your hands flew up from your sides wanting to touch him. To hold his broad, muscular shoulders. But you stopped yourself, palms hovering just over his arms. You whimpered, it physically hurt you how badly you wanted him. Mino showed no restraint. He wrapped one arm around your waist and pulled you into his body.

A gasp escaped your lips. His mouth continued its attack on your neck and chest. It was as if he was eating up every gasp and whimper you released for him. His hand lowered from your waist to squeeze your ass. You could feel him growing hard between you two.

“Stop.” You whispered. His hand released you immediately. In the back of your chaotic mind you couldn’t help but think he wasn’t so terrible at following orders after all. “I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.”

His bottom lip rolled under his tongue as he eyed you hungrily, “You think you can’t...but, you do want to?”

“Shit.” You sighed. “Yes. Fuck. Yes, I want to. It doesn’t change anything. I can’t do this. It’s already gone too far.”

His finger trailed a line up your neck slowly, until he was cupping your head in his palm. “If you promise not to say anything, I promise not to say anything. We can do whatever we want, no one has to know.”

“That’s not how it works. If we were to get caught…”

“We won’t. I swear. No one will ever know. Can’t you keep a secret?”

You stepped back, the air becoming too thick in the room. You hit the back your legs on your desk and took a much needed seat.

“I can’t give you anything. I won’t. You wouldn’t get any special treatment. I’d still need you to behave, to listen. I can’t ever promote you. I wouldn’t-“

You didn’t even notice him move towards you. You just felt his lips on yours and felt your body sink into his hands, like ice melting in a fire. His tongue was soft and strong against yours. The hand on his bandaged arm held your head in place while the other found the waist of your pants. His long fingers slipped inside of the fabric and between your thighs easily. Your back arched from the touch and Mino let your body follow its desired movements. Still protecting your head he laid you down on the desk.

“I don’t want anything from you. Except this.” He whispered against your throat as you panted desperately beneath him. His fingers circled the moistening patch of cloth between your thighs. “This...is yours and yours alone to give. So I ask, may I have this?”

You nodded, “Yes.”

He didn’t waste any time finding his way underneath the thin fabric that kept him from you. His fingers pressed slowly and stiff inside you. Your eyes fluttered shut. You felt almost embarrassed that it had been so long since you’d been touched by someone else that the sensation could have made you cum then and there.

You realized that you still hadn’t touched him. All you’d wanted to do and your hands had never met his skin. You grabbed his hips, lifting yourself from the desk and moved your hands over his taught, warm skin, up his back where you could feel every muscle. As your brain began to make a list of things you wanted to do to him, you realized that it was too late now, and you might as well just do it. Hands on his shoulders you pulled him into you, latching your mouth onto his flesh. He was salty and soft on your tongue.

“Help me.” He groaned at the feeling of your mouth on him. “Help me get these pants off of you.”

You remembered his injury, and felt bad that you’d been too indulged in your own satisfaction to remember. He pulled away, removing his fingers from inside of you, his  hand from your pants. You watched, jaw dropped open, as he placed his glistening fingers on his tongue and then sucked them clean of you.

“Pants.” He grinned at your reaction to his lewd behavior.

“Oh, right.” You shook yourself out of your trance and slid off the desk.

You began to unbutton your pants and then looked over at him leaning against the desk now and changed your mind. Your hands grasped the knotted sleeves of his flight jumpsuit and started untying.

“Your pants, Captain.”

“No.” You shook your head, continuing on. “Yours first. You got to taste me. Now it’s my turn.”

“You don’t have to do that.” He said as you tugged his suit down so that he was standing in a pair of black boxer briefs. The outline of his erection clear as day. “I think you’re wet enough for the both of us.”

“Why do you always talk back?” You asked dropping to your knees before him. Hands on his thighs you leaned forward and pressed a kiss on his bulge.

He looked down at you in awe as you released him from his briefs. His mouth fell open as you looked up at him, taking him between your lips. You liked watching the way the muscles in his stomach clenched and released as you sucked him off,  teasing his tender tip with your tongue. It surprised you, pleasantly, when he started to whine.

You knew he was close when he finally begged, “Let me fuck you.”

“You don’t want me to finish?” You teased.

“Please, I need you.” He gasped with desperation. It hit you that he’d wanted you this whole time just as bad as you’d wanted him. He wasn’t just another flirty fuckboy, not entirely.

You stood up and slowly unbuttoned your blouse and then removed it, tossing the fabric onto the desk next to him. “How many people on this ship have you fucked, Lieutenant?”

He sucked in a hiss of air as you undid your bra and placed that next to him as well. “Not one. Why?”

“You expect me to believe that?” You asked, toying with the button on your pants.

“I’ve only been interested in one person since I got here.” He answered. “You can believe that or not.”

“Would that nurse you were flirting with say the same?” You unzipped your pants and he raised his eyebrow in surprise as you peeled them off your legs to see the quite sexy pair of panties you’d been hiding underneath your professional wardrobe.

“I’m usually not so attracted to jealousy, I’ll be honest, but the fact that you’re typically so confident...the change of pace is really doing something for me.”

You rolled your eyes, “Lay back.”

Again, and still slightly surprising to you, he did as he was told. You stepped towards him, your fingers dragged along his thighs, over his hips, his abs, his chest. You climbed onto the desk, straddling his lap. He bit his lip in anticipation of your next move. You rolled your hips gently, rubbing your wet sex against his hard cock. You giggled lightly as his mouth fell open at the sensation.

“Who's the tease now?” He asked, looking up at your smile.

Finally you lifted your hips, and moved him into position before sinking down on him. A moan instantly escaped your mouth as the stretch betrayed you. You’d wanted to take this slower, to be more meticulous with your movements but he felt too good to mess around. Not to mention his hands, gripping your hips, wouldn’t have let you relent even if you wanted to.

Months of pent up sexual aggression that you didn’t even realize had been building was released from you. You could have been on him all day, he felt so good. Your thighs tightened painfully from the workout.

“Fuck, y/n!” He gasped “I’m gonna...I’m cumming.”

Your eyes widened at the sound of your name on his lips. He’d only ever called you Captain before. One of your hands gripped down on his good shoulder. As you slipped the other between your legs, your fingertips finding your swollen clit.

“Oh god. Oh my god.” He panted, as you rode him clear out of his orgasm. The friction slowly becoming too much pleasure for him. He whined again from the agonizing pleasure of it. “Oh, y/n. My goddess.”

Sweat pearling off your chest, his last words brought you to your finish. You tightened and tugged around him. Your mouth had fallen open silently and you crumbled into his chest.

“That…” You panted heavily satisfied.

He waited to if you were going to finish your thought and then chuckled when you clearly weren’t. “Yeah, that.”

—

Months passed and everyday you didn’t get a message from the admiral that you’d been fired had been a day full of surprises. Mino was actually more discreet than you’d ever expected. He remained ever the menace, giving you endless opportunities to call him to your quarters for reprimanding. Which, it had turned out, Mino loved being reprimanded.

It seemed to be more difficult for you to keep your hands to yourself than it was for him. You just couldn’t help yourself, brushing your hand against his, a playful pinch of his butt when no one was looking just to see the tiny smile on his face as he tried not to laugh. Not being able to kiss him was the most agonizing, because he was better at kissing than he was at flying and he was a fantastic pilot.

You started to really love your intimate moments together. When you’d lay in your bed and he’d play with your hair, brushing it out of your face or off of your shoulder. Letting his hands through it, massaging your head as you rested on his chest.Typically pulled back into a tight bun he enjoyed the silky way your locks twisted around his fingers. You liked to kiss his scars, old and new and learn where each and everyone came from. You loved learning him.

He liked to make you laugh more than anything else. To see you smile was so rare on the ship and he liked to know that he was capable of prying smiles from you so easily. He liked all the things you did just for him and no one else. Mino was funny and he was sweet, he was more than you had ever possibly expected. You knew you were in love with him. You hoped he was in love with you too.

Life hadn't just been secret sex and private romance however. The Barlakian’s had attacked your ship three more times. Each time having learned a little more about your techniques. Each time getting a little more aggressive than the last. It was by far your biggest stressor. Mino was good for postcoital talk about fight plans. He had seen the Barlak ship up close, he knew its weak spots, and the way that their fighters maneuvered. He found them to be almost robotic, easier and easier to battle. But your concern wasn’t their small fighters it was their large cruiser. The one that was damaging your ship with every battle, the fighters were just a distraction.

Whenever he thought you were getting too stressed, too obsessed with the Barlak, Mino was very good at distracting you. There was something almost poetic about the way Mino went down on you. You were usually good about keeping quiet but when he was between your thighs you struggled to bite your tongue hard enough. Which was why he usually did it in your private shower.

It was just art in its purest, most raw form. Your thigh draped over his shoulder, his hands grasping your hips so tightly it felt like being strapped into a fighter harness. The glass of the shower was ice cold against your heated skin but the water felt like summer rain as it poured over the both of you.

Your thighs shook with your orgasm as you drank up the water that rained down on your mouth. When he finished Mino slipped up your body, pinning you against the glass of the shower. His lips captured yours roughly. Your arms slipped easily over his soaked shoulders. You could taste yourself on his tongue.

You could feel the walls around you shaking and you gasped, “How do you make the whole universe tremble too?”

He chuckled lightly, “That wasn’t me, baby. Thank you for the credit though.”

The walls shook around you once more, harder than before. You looked up at him, his hair dripping down into his face. He looked serious and you realized that what had started out as a sexual pin against the glass had become protective as the ship shook again. You found yourself squeezing his shoulders for support. Suddenly the alarms blasted through the intercom. The ship was under attack.

You sprinted breathlessly onto the bridge as the ship shook once more, your hair was still damp.

“Debrief.” You said as your second in command reached you.

“The Barlakian’s. It’s a new ship, it came in fast and close. They must have been tracking us to have known our exact coordinance like that. We’ve been hit a total of ten times. The first was before we could enable the shields. They took out one of our outer cannons. I requested ten fighters to discharge immediately, we’ve lost five. They’re prepping more as we speak. Shields are already at sixty-five. Captain, you have to decide now if we stay and fight or if we pull back.”

“There.” Mino said beside you. You hadn’t even seen him come in. You noticed his damp hair however, and wondered who else would notice that the two of you shared that in common. “This is the weakest spot in their ship. I’ll go out with a cannon shooter and blast it. I would bet my life it’ll take out their entire ship. We don’t have to run.”

“Cannon shooters aren’t as fast as your normal fighter.” You said eyeing the weak spot he’d pointed out.

“I know.”

“That’s suicide.” You barely whispered. He was right though, if he could hit the spot with enough power, it could destroy the whole thing.

“For a lesser pilot, maybe. Not for me.” He said confidently. “I can do this. All you need to do is make sure our ship is out of the blast radius.”

“Captain?” You second said awaiting your decision. “We need an answer, now.”

You sighed heavily. “Call down to the fight deck and have them ready a cannon shooter for Lieutenant Song.”

“Yes, ma'am.” He answered before turning away.

“Mino.” You said quietly, brushing your fingers on his wrist.

“That’s lieutenant to you, Captain.” He said pointedly.

“Lieutenant Song.” You said eyeing the chaotic crew that swarmed around you, everyone was genuinely too busy to pay much attention to the pair of you. “Come back...safely.”

“Give me twenty minutes. I’m just going to go out and save the galaxy.” He smiled warmly, “When I get back we can finish that meeting we were having earlier.”

“Mino,” You said again, trying to get him to understand your sincerity, “please. I need you to come back.”

“If you’re not careful Captain, people are going to start thinking you have feelings for me.”

“People wouldn’t be wrong.” You responded, “Just come back. Okay? That’s all. Don’t do anything stupid. If it gets sketchy…”

“I will come back to this ship. You couldn’t keep me away.” He said, finally with the genuine understanding that you had needed from him.

You nodded and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. “You're needed in the hanger. Safe flight, Lieutenant.”

Your eyes burned as you watched him go, but this was neither the time nor the place to let your emotions get the best of you. Taking a deep breath you turned back to your crew and exhaled. Quickly you found your focus, directing the crew to where they needed to be and to be doing the things that needed to be done. First task was to get your ship moved out of the blast radius.

As that was occuring, in collaboration with the flight deck, you made orders for the faster combat fighters to assemble together on the opposite side of enemy ship as the weak spot that Mino would be tending to. Remembering the strategic flaws Mino had told you about the Barlakian’s before, you knew that they would focus on the larger group, not a single cannon ship. Just because they were on a new ship didn’t mean they’d changed their strategy.

Watching your map you were pleased to see how correct you were. Much of the fire power from the ship and the Barlak combat fighters converged on where your smaller fighters had been assembled. Meanwhile you watched as the cannon shooter made its way around the back end, essentially undetected. There was a mild sense of relief that coursed through you but also knew this was far from over and Mino was far from safely back to you.

You could hear the conversation between your second in command and Kang in the flight deck confirming that the ship was a safe distance from the blast zone. You knew that meant that Mino was ready to take his shot. Your second confirmed that the ships shields could withstand a blast and you verified that Mino was cleared to take the shot.

Everything that happened next felt like an out of body experience. As if you were standing just over your own shoulder watching yourself looking down at the map. Watching Mino’s cannon take several shots towards the enemy ship. Looking up out of your bridge window to see the Barlak ship collapsing on itself. Looking back down at the map, to see if the cannon shooter had made its way out of the blast zone as well, just to see that the map had been taken out momentarily and you had no visuals.

A celebration of joy and relief bloomed throughout the ship as you made your way from the bridge to the flight deck. You felt uplifted and in good spirits enough, knowing that the operation had been successful. There was just one last thing you needed to be complete on board with everyone else.

“Captain.” One of the officers said with a small salute as you entered the flight deck. The rest of the crew turned and did the same.

“At ease.” You grinned, “Are all my pilots back?”

“Almost ma’am.” Lieutenant Kang responded. “Just waiting on, Song. We’d lost his shooter for a minute after the blast, but we just found him a second ago. Waiting on contact with him now.”

“Good.” You nodded checking the blip on the radar, he was close. “Very good.”

There was a hint of static on the radio and then a sound that eased you completely. “G.S.S. Mobb flight deck. This is Lieutenant Song. Can you hear me?”

“This is flight deck, we can hear you now pilot.” Kang responded.

“Good. Is the Captain present?” Mino asked knowingly.

“The Captain is present on deck.”

“Excellent. If you could just let her know that her star pilot is heading back home safely, I would appreciate it. She wasn’t getting rid of me that easily.”

You rolled your eyes and the crew chuckled, used to his cockiness and playful banter they didn’t suspect any deeper meaning from his comment. You watched as the cannon shooter entered the hanger, only slightly worse for the wear. He landed easy and hopped out of the cockpit happily.

The feeling of relief, of knowing he was actually safe, had just barely draped over your body when you saw the rogue enemy fighter heading straight toward the hanger.

“Intruder! Blast it!” You shouted out.

It was just a second too late. The fighter got off one shot with its small cannon before your ships guns took it out. You watched, in painfully slow motion, as the blaster hit Mino’s shooter. Your eyes grew wide as the metal began to tear apart from itself, exploding. Mino, after realizing what happened, tried to duck out of the way and avoid the blast. He was just too close and it was just too late. You were running from the flight deck down to the hanger as soon as his feet were torn from the ground from the blast.

“MINO!” His name tore from your throat in a blood curdling shriek.

Your feet hit the concourse faster than anyone could comprehend, headed down the hanger. Several crew members were working towards putting out the fire from the explosion, others were quickly gathered around Mino.

“Get out of my way! Everyone move!” You yelled kneeling next to him. “Baby…”

He winced from the pain, but a smile still crept on his face, “Captain...that’s a bit bold.”

“Oh shut up, Mino.” You gasped lightly at the sight. A shard of metal debris was lodged in his neck, blood oozed from the wound slowly. You wanted nothing more than to remove it but you knew it would only do more damage. You looked up at the crowd of people that had gathered. Most shocked by the scene, some muttering about the way you squeezed his hand in yours. “Someone get a doctor! Immediately!”

“They’re on the way, Captain.” One of the crew said calmly.

“Okay…” you leaned closer to him, kissing his forehead. “Help is on the way. It’s gonna be okay. I’m gonna stay right here. You’re gonna be fine.”

“So it’s worse than it feels?” He asked lightly.

“It’s...not bad.” You lied.

“Your face is even less convincing than your words if you can imagine.” He joked.

“I know.” You whimpered.

“Don’t cry.” He said furrowing his brow in pain.

“I’m not.” You said shaking your head defiantly.

“You are.”

You lifted your hand to your cheek and wiped away the wetness you didn’t realize was there. “Mino...I have to tell you something, just in case. You have to know.”

“I love you too.” He whispered, stealing your thunder, but you didn’t care.

You leaned your head against his shoulder and couldn’t stop it as you sobbed freely. “In all the galaxies... in every universe, it was you that was made perfectly for me.”

He let out a laugh, that turned into a cough. You noticed the blood on his teeth before he recognized the taste of copper on his tongue.

“You’re really giving us away, Captain.” He groaned form the pain, “We’re definitely getting sent to the docks now.”

“Good.” You sniffed, “I don’t care where they send us, as long as we get to go together. Do you understand me? We go together, Song.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He gave you a blood red grin as the medics finally arrived. You moved away on your own accord, wanting them to get him the help he needed as fast as possible. Otherwise you knew they would have had to peel you away from him.

You watched what you could. They fitted a blood transfusion pack, and placed a packing gel around the wound to stop the bleeding. You wanted to complain about their lack of tact as the put him on the transport. He gritted his teeth with the pain, knowing you were there. Not wanting you to think the worst of it. Although you already were.

—-

Later, while you waited for the surgeons update you’d heard whispers from the infirmary about his injury. The debri in his neck from blast has just barely missed his main artery. Any closer and he would have been dead before even you’d reached him. It only made your chest heavier.

You knew by now that word of your actions towards Mino in the hanger, that your relationship, was well known throughout the ship. Nurses eyed you as they spoke quietly. Other patients in the infirmary kept eyes on you too. You realized in that moment, maybe for the first time, how much you didn’t care. What happened next in your career was the least of your concerns. The only thing that mattered now was that Mino survived. That he recovered. That he would be there for you to love.

Once the surgery was over it had been hours later. The infirmary was almost completely cleared when the surgeon came to tell you about the success of the operation and that Mino was resting. They tried to tell you that you couldn’t see him, until you reminded them that this was your ship. You sat beside his bed in a chair, watching the rise and fall of his chest, grateful for it every time. As the early morning hours of the next day arrived and still he slept you rested your head on the bed next to him and closed your eyes for a bit.

As you started to wake up you’d forgotten where you were. Eyes still closed all your brain was willing to comprehend was that the air around you smelled of him and that his hand was playing with your hair like he usually did when you’d lay in bed together. It was the excruciating cramp in your lower back that reminded you that you had been slumped over in a chair.

“Mino.” You bolted up straight and looked over at him. He was smiling at you, still sleepily. He pressed his fingers against the bandage on his throat as if to indicate he couldn’t speak. You had to take the opportunity to joke, “Finally, a moment of peace with you.”

He rolled his eyes.

“Does it feel terrible?” You asked softly. He shook his head no.

“Are you lying?” He nodded.

You grabbed his hand in yours and kissed his knuckles. “But you’ll live.”

He moved his body, making space on the bed for you and patted the mattress.

“You know I can’t.” You said biting your lip, so tempted. “It would be unprofessional.”

He gave you a look that could only have been described with the phrase, Oh please.

“You’re right. We’re already going to be dishonorably discharged.” He grinned and you slipped onto the bed next to him.

Tucking into his side you sighed deeply with content. He wrapped one arm around you, his hand at the small of your back while the other hand went back to your hair. He kissed the top of your head several times before he really settled down.

You closed your eyes but a request remained at the edge of your lips. “Don’t ever fucking scare me like that again.”

You could feel the chuckle in his chest. And then, just a very hoarse whisper, “Okay.”

—-

You walked into the bedroom to see Mino finishing up putting on his dress uniform. His hair was slicked back, and his jaw was sharp. You could see the pink of his fresh scar dipping under his collar. It ended up being nearly six inches in length from behind his ear to the front of his throat. It didn’t matter, he was still the most beautiful man you’d ever seen. You sighed, quite wantonly, and Mino turned towards you with a smirk.

“What?” He asked as you stepped towards him. Sliding your hands up his chest and over his shoulders.

“Nothing. You’re just so handsome.” You whispered pressing your soft lips against his soft scar over and over from end to end.

“You look sexy.” He grinned squeezing your butt playfully. “In your itchy wool captains skirt...I can’t wait for you to put on your little hat over that fierce, tight bun.”

You groaned, pulling out of the hug. “Don’t get used to it. I’ll only have this job for about another hour, then it’s only civilian clothes for me.”

He raised an eyebrow, “Lucky for me you look pretty sexy in those too.”

“Maybe it would better if we both just got sent to the docks.” You said with a slight pout.

“Why?” He scoffed, “I can think of nothing you would hate more. You’re a leader, not a nothing.”

“I wouldn’t have to worry about you getting hurt at the docks.”

He smiled, loving how incredibly soft your love for him made you. It was like a drug for his ego that you only ever showed that affection to him. He kissed your forehead swiftly. “You know you’ll have to worry about me wherever I end up.”

You groaned once more, this time in realization that he was right, and rested your exhausted head on his shoulder. Why your heart chose him you’d never know for sure. All you knew was that somehow, even though his olive suit was an itchy, warm wool, and his chest was hard with muscle, you were still more comfortable in his arms in that moment than anywhere else you could think of being.

__

During Mino’s pinning and recognition of service ceremony you sat nervously on the stage between several of your admirals. Your direct leader had eyed you several times and only spoke to you once before it began to remind you of the meeting that would be held in his office following the ceremony.

Despite your nerves you’d been proud of Mino. The crowd was huge. Usually for these types of events it was a few higher ups and some fellow Guard members. However Minos story of bravery had spread like wildfire and he had become a bit of an intergalactic hero. As many civilians as could be accommodated were in attendance and you had heard that there were thousands more outside the event, just wanting to give him thanks with their presence.

He looked good, standing tall as he received his Heroism in Combat, Crimson Heart for being wounded during intergalactic combat, and finally his Excellency in the Sky, for being a superior pilot, pins. He told you before the ceremony that he’d wished it was you pinning him, at first he said it as a sexual joke but then again later and more genuinely. Although both of you knew it would never be allowed. Instead it was one of your peers, and one of Mino’s old Captains. He kept his eyes on you the whole time, and you fought a blush every second of it.

After the ceremony you and Mino took your time getting to the admirals office. You had said you wanted to be prompt but Mino had other plans. He squeezed your hand in his as he dragged you around to a few pilot friends that had been placed on other ships. He showed you off more than his newly acquired military pins and it made you blush furiously with every new introduction.

He made you feel drunk off your love for him so much that the two of you stumbled into the officers building. You even felt giggly as he kissed your neck in the elevator. It wasn’t until you reached the Admirals door that your stomach flipped.

Mino could see the change in your demeanor and it made him frown. “You were so happy.”

“I am still happy.” You said faking a smile.

“It’s going to be fine. You and me...were going to be fine.” He promised.

“I know.” You sighed, still with a slight disbelief. You fixed the collar of his jacket, straightened his newly acquired pins, and adjusted his hat so that it sat properly on his head.

“Feel better?” He asked with a grin as you dropped your hands back down to your sides, knowing your need for control was a comfort.

“Kiss me please?” You asked holding back anxious tears.

“Always.” He said pressing his lips to yours. The stress you’d felt oozed off your shoulders and down to the floor. As long as this stayed the same, Mino was right, you’d be just fine.

The air in the office was thick and uncomfortable. Mino and you sat in chairs across from the admiral. His, surprisingly, cluttered desk the only thing between you and his disapproving glare. Mino had grabbed your hand before walking into the line of fire and hadn’t let it go since. You weren’t sure if the admiral was waiting on one of you to speak first as a power move, but you were both waiting for him.

With an almost unprofessional huff, the admiral began, “Obviously you two are here to discuss discharge procedures for having a prohibited relationship between a superior and a subordinate and then not disclosing the relationship once it began.”

“I’m going to stop you there, Admiral.” Mino said with an air about him that told you he’d had this conversation planned in his head already. “That’s just not going to be happening. Neither of us will be dismissed from the Guard today.”

“Song, I’m sorry son, but you’re not the one who dictates how things work in here. That’s my job.”

“I beg your pardon admiral, but...I’m an intergalactic hero. You saw the crowd out there today, right? How bad would the Guard's publicity be if they reprimanded an actual hero.”

“Are you threatening me, Song? Are you threatening the Guard, because you’re going to want to think about that.” The admiral said, growing red under his collar.

You bit your lip in amusement. Now you knew why everyone who didn’t have to deal with insubordinate Mino, could love him so much. It was too funny when it wasn’t you.

“That’s not a threat, Sir. That’s just a fact.” He said calmly crossing one leg over the other, his fingers tightening around yours. “If you don’t give me what I want, it’s going to backfire. I mean, I don’t care either way what happens, but I’m the face of the Guard now. Do you think the people are going to want to see the face of their Guard down on the docks, kicking rocks?”

“Fine.” The admiral said tight lipped, “You’ll remain a pilot, Lieutenant Song. Congratulations.”

“Commander.” He corrected. You raised your eyebrows as you stared down at the floor. He was pushing it, but his face was straight and he wasn’t done yet.

The admiral inhaled deeply, infused with rage. “Anything else, Commander.”

“Just one thing. I only fly under one Captain.”

You’re eyes shot up at that. He was smiling smugly at the admiral. You didn’t even want to look over at the desk for fear of the rage monster you would witness.

“That I cannot do. Your Captain broke rules. She exhibited a relationship with a subordinate. She took advantage of her position. She compromised the integrity of the Guard and of her ship. She will be demoted from Captain and removed from the G.S.S Mobb immediately.” The admiral looked coldly at your hand clasped in Minos. You thought to remove it but his fingers tightened around yours. “Maybe we can find your captain a nice desk job, something more suitable for a lady. Since this position seems to have been a bit too overwhelming.”

“You’re not listening, Admiral.” Mino said sharply, obviously angered. “I will fly only under this captain. If you don’t allow that then you’ll lose your best and now most highly decorated pilot, and the face of the Guard. Not to mention, the recording I now have of this conversation and of you expressing blatant, and quite honestly archaic sexism towards a fellow officer will find itself….everywhere.”

You tried not to look at him too suspiciously, but something told you that his comment about having the conversation recorded was a bluff. It was apparently not a risk the admiral was willing to take, however. By the end of the meeting Mino was a commander, and you had your ship back with a new title as well.

—

Three months passed before you stood on your bridge once more. It was still a few days before take off but you wanted to do a walkthrough of the ship while it was still moderately empty. The repairs, modifications and updates made since the last flight made your heart swell. Your ship, she was a true beauty. The best in the fleet.

Your vacation had been filled with beaches and camping. Sunrises and sunsets. All the earth things you’d been missing out on in space. But it felt good to have your fingers on the controls again. Passing gently over the navigation system. Standing in front of your panoramic shield window you imagined how the stars and planets were going to look up close once more.

“General.”

You turned from the window to see Mino. You could tell he'd been watching you and it made you blush in a way that only he could.

“Commander.” You nodded, “How does my flight deck look?”

“Crisp.” He grinned, “Beautiful. The new fighters are…”

“Do you need a minute alone? A cold shower, maybe?” You smirked.

“Hah. Hah. I saw you fingering that new Navi system, you pervert.” You laughed as he wrapped his arms around you. “Welcome home, baby.”

“Thank you.” You said kissing him. He raised an eyebrow nonchalantly as if everything he’d done was no big deal. So you grabbed his chin pointedly, “Thank you...for making sure I got my ship back.”

“Yeah well...it was mostly selfish. I love a having a strong woman in charge of me.”

“Oh, I know that.” It was your turn to be smug and you loved it.

“Are you ready for this?” He asked genuinely, “You won’t be able to escape me once this ship is in the air.”

“What do you think escape pods are for?” You asked deadpan.

“You’re so funny.” He said flatly.

You sighed and turned around in his arms to look out at the view earth provided you with, and the to the sky, knowing that it expanded so much further than your eyes could ever possibly see. “I get to explore the actual universe with my own personal universe at my side. I’m more than ready for this.”

[vampireloreskill]

Get To Know Me 

tagged by @fourfinefreshfishforyou a billion years ago, thank you so much!! i actually Did have fun filling this out even if it took me forever 

 anyone who still wants to do this can say i tagged them!

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Who wrote this? A fed??

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? Kris

3. BIRTHDAY? This year

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? Would you believe me if I said Warriors

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? Ghosts no, aliens sort of... I’m not sure I buy into whole other civilizations but I find it hard to believe that there isn’t some kind of life outside of our planet even if it’s just bacteria 

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? Rick Riordan is pretty cool

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? Christmas

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? Strawberry or peach 

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? Amazing

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG?  Your Type - Carly Rae Jepson

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? I’m a big fan of defenestration

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO?  Your Type - Carly Rae Jepson

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? I don’t like to blanket recommend shows because everyone has such different tastes

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? Tbh I just mope around until I either feel better or give up and go to sleep

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? This is an Assassin’s Creed and Sims zone ONLY

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? Strangers on the internet knowing my second biggest fear

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? Objectively it’s probably my ability to see things from other people’s perspective but TBH I much prefer my sense of humor and ability to laugh at my own jokes whether or not anyone else finds them funny 

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? My inability to self moderate

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? I want to say neither,, but I may be leaning towards dogs in recent years :/

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? Winter, but lately Autumn has been sneaking up on it

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? Nah

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? Being small... I loved hiding in tiny spaces and being picked up

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? *cowboy voice* Now there’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time...

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? Dark brown

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? At this point it’s basically black but I still like to say dark brown

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? God, my family, probably a lot of people idk I catch feelings easily

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? Literally no one but God 

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? A lot of seemingly random celebrities, if you count constantly reciting names in specific patterns as thinking 

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? Yes, lots of things! 

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? lmao

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? REDWALLLLL

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? I’m not sure what the opposite of shrug emoji is but the answer is still no one

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? I’m not, but someone needs to tell me that

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? I’m not sure I have any phobias? Irrational fears, Sure

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? Behind it!

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? I REALLY want to get into dollhousing

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? I know I said Les Misérables in a previous tag meme but I now remember that I actually read the first book in C.S. Lewis’s space trilogy a while back more recently

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Spider-man: Into The Spiderverse which was........ AMAZING 

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? When I was younger I had a lap harp but that’s about it

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? Opossums

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? I’m not a fan of naming names in this context sorry!

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? A lot, but I’ve concluded that for any powers gained I would inevitably just end up becoming a super villain and/or batman so hard pass

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? When I first wake up, and just lie there trying to hold on to what I was just dreaming about

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? It’s basically physically impossible for me not to grin like a fool watching Wander Over Yonder

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? Does Wii Bowling count

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? Apple cider

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? I don’t know? Probably when I wanted to wake up at a certain time

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? Sometimes? Depends on how possible it is that I could fall

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? Dry skin currently 

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? I was going to say no but I have the distinct feeling that I have even though I didn’t remember absolutely anything about it except maybe the auditorium?

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? No

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? Zookeeper

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? Um. Eternia?? ajfghdk 

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? Not growing as a person

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? Not really, but I do like the ability to turn on lights if I need to

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? My vocal cords were made for Christmas carols and little else. But yeah, sometimes.

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? I’m not... sure?

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? I’ll let you know when I’ve found it

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? Where I already do

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? Yes

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? Night owl

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? Sunsets

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? I feel like I could make an educated guess in an emergency

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? Headphones

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? No

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? I feel like it’s probably pop or disco tbh

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? Jesus 

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? Here and there, the only series I’ve actually read all the way through is Cable & Deadpool (2004) but I want to get into Venom

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? Not to be cliche but injustice of any kind

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? Real book, I like turning pages and the way the cover fits into my hands. Can’t say I’m a fan of the smell though.

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? Vocabulary

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? Yes

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? Sims 4 packs

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5′2 or so

75. CAN YOU COOK? If it involves anything other than a microwave or a toaster then,,, no

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? Vampires, villains in love, wood paneling 

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? Intrusive thoughts, Marius Pontmercy, mint flavored toothpaste

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? I... Have more female mutuals

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? Bisexual but like it’s Complicated. Also this is the first time I’ve ever actually said that directly so ✌️🎉

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? A fed wrote this

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? My mom

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Earlier this month

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? I don’t really follow any, but I used to be obsessed with the videos of this one guy who acted out crossovers of DC/Marvel characters with action figures and had a really great voice

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? I do! I just never do anything with them once I’ve taken them lol

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? I don’t have one right now, but I adore choose your own adventure ones

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? Pretty good with my adoptive parents. I want to be closer with my birth mom but I don’t... really know how to go about that without being a disappointment. Never met my birth dad which has been eating at me somewhat lately.

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? Uhh Australian maybe??

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? Mexico

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 6

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? Do you take me for a clown

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? Yes, I’m a nondenominational christian 

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OF THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? The ocean, it’s teeming with life and I find it bafflingly fascinating how there’s still so much we don’t know about it

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? Absolutely not

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? Almost every single time we go shopping in Sam’s Club I get inexplicably feverish and nauseous and feel like I’ve thrown out my back until we get to the check out. That and I may have a dairy allergy? But honestly my stomach is acting out every other day so who knows really.  

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? Ye

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? No

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? Not as often as I should

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? Aesthetically, the beach, but forests are less sandy

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? Pat, don’t rub (When drying your hands)

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR?  mmMM I don’t really lie, like, seriously about stuff that I can recall? I’ll jokingly say stuff that blatantly isn’t true and even then I sometimes feel guilty and confess seconds later. Unless you count lying by omission? Or saying stuff like “I’m fine” LMAO. The World May Never Know

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? We Don’t Discuss Harry Potter On This Blog, but ravenclaw all the way and any test that tries to sort me into hufflepuff isn’t Valid 

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? Generally just when I’m alone

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? Introvert

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? I’ve tried, but I just don’t have the attention span for it asdfgh. Sometimes I write down my dreams though.

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? Yes

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Convince someone else to pick it up and check for ID

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? Yes

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? That’s a personal question

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? Yes

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? No

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? Count Dracula from Monster Family (2017) ok so,,, i know he tried to freeze the entire world because a married woman rejected him but LISTEN

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? No

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? Following Jesus

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? Mm, not karma per say, but I do generally think that what goes around often comes around in way or another

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? No

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? NO

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? Idk! there a lot different types of smart people

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? Nice try, but someone might actually read this

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? I’m basically nocturnal so... yeah

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOUR CLOTHES? Various jewel tones

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? Ehhhhhhh

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? Not that I know of

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 21

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? I can’t really think of one right now

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? Whichever I’m in the mood for!

[beans-and-rice101]

Merry Christmas

Prompt: Imagine being the Christmas Gift Master for the Avengers or the Justice League. - @darkshadow3942

DISCLAIMER!!! I DO NOT PRETEND TO KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO LIVE WITH SOCIAL ANXIETY/BEING INTROVERTED!! I DO NOT PRETEND TO KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO LIVE WITH A SPEECH IMPEDIMENT!! MY KNOWLEDGE ON BOTH SUBJECTS IS INFORMATION I HAVE GATHERED FROM UNRELIABLE SOURCES! however i am lazy and can't be bothered to do research rn SO IF WHAT I'VE WRITTEN IS INCORRECT OR MAKES YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE OR UPSET PLEASE FEEL FREE TO LEAVE A RESPECTFUL COMMENT!!

So this is actually completely wrong when compared to the prompt but I took creative license so fuck you. Also it's way late for Kringle but WHO CARES. I worked pretty hard on this so be gentle?

~~~

"T-Tinsel? Check. Tree? Check-k. Obnoxious self-sus-sustaining Christm-m-mas lights? Check. Met-t-ticulously crafted gingerb-bread houses that n-no one w-w-will eat because I w-work for a t-t-t-team of ungrateful sh-shits? Ch-Check." You placed the clipboard down after ticking the last box. You had volunteered as Christmas organizer this year as Pepper was busy trying to convince Mr Stark to leave her pregnant ass alone for five minutes. Worst. Decision. EVER.

You had decided(in your naive eagerness) to invite not-really-Avengers as well because you pitied Quill when he tried to explain the concept of Christmas to the Guardians. Plus you wanted to meet the Spider-Man that Mr Stark had been fussing over. God that man needed to chill. You had only hoped he would relax enough this past week for you to get everything done. Hardly. But no use dwelling on the horrors of unpaid apprenticeship! You still had a lot of work to do. Let's see... Hang up the tinsel and assorted decorations, figure out how to attach the lights to the top of the compound, hide the food from Clint and Thor, pick up the order of mince pies from Bow's and Holly's Bakery, be at the airport at 10:00am sharp to recieve Mr Stark and Mrs Potts, arrange the assigned rooms for the Wakandan and spacefaring guests... God... What were you forgetting!?

You pulled out your phone and look back through your notes for the day. Ah, yes. Pick up Peter. Peter? Oh, right, Peter Parker. Spider-Man. Happy was away with family - who were invited to join, but declined - in California. This left you with the additional task of either driving Mr Stark to meetings and seminars or organizing for chauffeurs. You honestly preferred the latter, but To-Mr Stark always insisted on paying you for the ride. Plus, he wasn't that bad as travelling partners went. In fact, for the co-CEO of a multi-billion dollar company, Mr Stark is pretty cool. He isn't without his snark and a certain level of entitlement; and occasionally forgets that people like you live under different circumstances, but all in all, not the worst boss. Certainly better than the one that pays you.

Lost in thought, you very nearly ran into someone. Looking up at the person steadying you, you swallowed loudly at the sight of Steve Rogers. You smiled weakly and mumbled an apology as you looked down at your watch. "Oh sh-shit!"

"Uhh..?" Your gaze snaps back to Steve, who looks more than a little worried by your outburst. "Everything alri-?"

"I'M SORRY I HAVE TO GO THANKS FOR THE CHAT BYE!!" You sprinted past him; later you were informed that this was when you dropped your phone, but at the time your thoughts lay with the fact that it was 9:45am and you had to get your ass in gear.

You barely got to the airport as Mr Stark's plane was set to land. He and Mrs Potts had insisted on flying to San Francisco themselves to pick up Eddie Brock - Mr Stark's newest "find", whom he was as of yet, unsure of. Mr Brock had agreed on the condition that he stayed in a hotel of his choosing as opposed to the compound. Whether that was a lack of trust in you, Tony or himself, you weren't certain. Whatever the case, you didn't mind, as it was one less room for you to organize. As you contemplated Mr Brock, you turned up the radio, listening to the Christmassy songs.

Despite your responsibilities this year, you still found that you enjoyed Christmas. There was something about the cheesiness of it all. How over the top people would get, going to such great lengths to prove their Christmas Spirit. You were content with spending most Christmases by yourself, but lately you had been wondering what Christmas would be like when spent with someone. Don't be mistaken, you had plenty of memories with your family, and they stayed in touch, but it had been years since you had been home for Christmas. Your thoughts moved to the Avengers. Superheroes, secret agents, goody-goodies the whole lot of 'em. Most days, you found it hard to understand how so many different people could share a space... Maybe you envied them... You weren't much older than Peter Parker, but you would never consider to include you in the superhero equation.. You tried to convince yourself that you wouldn't belong, anyway. You had nothing to contribute; aside from coffee, bad jokes and a stutter that even your family couldn't decipher.

The car door opening jolted you out of your thoughts, and you looked over to see Mrs Potts sliding into the seat next to you. "How's planning going?"

"...How d-do you d-d-do it?" Mrs Potts laughed. After Mr Stark and Mr Brock were seated, you began the drive back to the compound. Along the way, you stayed mostly silent - unless it was to correct dates and names Mr Stark got wrong that Mrs Potts missed - and listened to the conversation. It was clear, at least to you, that there was both an air of caution from Mr Brock towards Mrs Potts, and a faint tint of distrust in Mr Stark's words to Mr Brock. You had never thought to ask why Mr Brock was of such interest to the billionaire, and from the air between the two men, you didn't intend to pry. You, personally, thought Mr Brock was quite polite, if a little blunt. He thought to include you in conversation, despite barely knowing you for a minute. When you started driving him to the hotel, preceding dropping off Mrs Potts and Mr Stark(who seemed hesitant to leave the two of you alone...), Mr Brock seemed to grow more closed off. You supposed he didn't want to distract you; or perhaps he didn't care.

With the lack of conversation, aside from occasional directions from Mr Brock, you started zoning out again. There was no point in returning to the compound straight after dropping him off. You would only have 20 minutes, then, to spare before it was time to go pick up Peter. Mr Parker? Should you address him formally as well? He was maybe two months older than you. You supposed it was better to be safe than sorry, but something about it felt wrong...

"Thank you for the lift." You nodded, smiling at Mr Brock as he got out of the car. "It was n-n-no problem, M-M-M-M-..." You sighed, giving up. You just nodded again. Mr Brock pulled his suitcase out of the trunk himself, waving off the doorman. You leaned out the side window, taking a moment to figure out your words before speaking. "I'll be b-b-back-ack at 6:15. Is that-at okay?" Mr Brock copied your earlier action before stepping back from the curb. You waved at him as you pulled away, contemplating what to do. You supposed you should at least pick up those pies from the bakery. In fact, it wasn't too far from Mr Parker's address... Nope. Didn't like it.

The bakery smelled fresh and the air was warm, compared to the snow outside. You rubbed your hands together, regretting not wearing thicker clothes. "Order for Mr T-T-T-Tony St-t-Stark?" The barista looked through the boxes and picked up a large cream one with clear plastic on the top so you could see the treats inside. You smiled thanks and regretted not returning the "Merry Christmas!" that followed you out into the cold. You sighed, taking a moment to look around. The street you were on wasn't too busy, and the shops were cheerful enough, but it seemed you were destined to be in a mournful mood this afternoon. You checked the time. 12:42pm. Not too bad on time. You decided to keep the pies in the back so that you weren't tempted to eat them. You had cookies at home that you could snack on.

Pulling up at the Parkers' house, you braced yourself for conversation. "Hi. I'm here for P-P-Peter Park-k-ker." Ehh. It was understandable. That was what you told yourself as you rung the doorbell. You heard the sound of footsteps(sprinting??) approaching the door, and it swung open to reveal a boy with a cheery smile and messy brown hair. He yelled goodbye to someone inside, before hauling his backpack to the car. He was already in when you got there. Oh boy...

"So... You work with Mr Stark, too?"

"For. I work-k for Mr St-tark."

"Oh. Right. So... You've met the other Avengers? Like... Personally?" The dreaded question. You shifted slightly, preparing the words on your tongue. "N-no. Not p-p-personally. I only work-k for Mist-ter Stark."

"Oh." Peter looked out the window. Oh God... You knew what he was thinking about. Here it comes- "So... Is your stutter, like, a speech impediment?" You sighed quietly. "Yes, it's a sp-peech imp-p-p-pe-pe-RRAA!" You slammed the breaks in frustration, skidding a little. You took a deep breath, and turned to Peter, who looked more than a little shocked. "I understa-tand that you have qu-questions, and this is p-p-probably your first-t t-t-t-t-... Your first ex-per-i-ence-" You said the word slowly. "-with someone lik-ke me. But I have answered these que-questions too man-n-n-n-ny times before. P-p-please do not ask-k anymore." Peter had the conscience to look apologetic and he nodded in understanding. "Okay. I promise not to ask anymore questions like that."

"Thank you."

You arrived back at the compound at about 3:08pm, and watched Peter run over to greet Mr Stark. As soon as you had started driving again, you felt guilty for snapping. You were grateful to Peter for being the civil one and apologizing, and you knew he crossed a line... Forget it. He apologized and you forgave him. He even offered to take the pies in, so you guessed there were no hard feelings. Anyway, back to doing your job which, funnily enough, didn't include yelling at superheroes.

You had 2 hours before you had to go pick up Mr Brock, so you decided to run back to your apartment and amuse yourself until then. You had all but given up on completing your other tasks. The Avengers would simply have to put up the tree themselves. You would apologize tomorrow. You hoped Tony would understand...

Your apartment was kinda chaotic, but you were pretty decent at keeping things in the area they belonged, so it wasn't too hard to navigate. It also meant you were less likely to lose something valuable if you were broken into. You pondered this as you prepared a simple sandwich for yourself. The ideal Christmas dinner. At least munching on it gave your mouth something to do. You checked the time. 5:41pm. You supposed you could leave now and pick Mr Brock up early. Or wait outside for him.

You decided on the former, as you realized the latter made it seem like you were here for suspicious reasons. You found out from the front desk where he was staying and took the stairs to avoid people. Mr Brock's room wasn't difficult to find. You knocked. Inside, there came a sound like a wounded animal. You grew worried, as Mr Brock's voice sounded deeper when he answered. "Yes?"

"Uh, hi. It's m-me, ag-gain. I hope I'm n-n-not intrud-ding, bu-but I had t-t-time to spare s-so..." You trailed off as the room behind the door grew quiet. "M-Mr Brock..?" Getting no response still, you knock again. The door swings open to reveal... Mr Brock. He looks a tad more shabby and a bit nervous, but he smiles anyway. You recover your professionalism and return the smile. "I've pu-parked the c-car out the fron-nt. I hope you d-d-don't mind, b-but I'd like t-t-t-... The evening to m-myself." Mr Brock looks confused. "You're not going to the party?"

"I'm n-not an Avenger."

"Neither am I." You huff. "I d-don't work WITH Mist-ter Stark-k. I'm his assis-sis-sis-..."

"Assistant."

"...Yeah..." You give him a tight-lipped smile and gesture back to the stairwell. "I'm g-gonna wait in the c-c-car..." Mr Brock nods, turning back to his room. "I won't be long."

Indeed he wasn't. You were only sitting in the car for 10 minutes before Mr Brock slid in behind you, looking only slightly less disheveled. But he was in a suit, and you'd seen Mr Stark look worse, so you started driving. The car ride is much like before, only you occasionally catch Mr Brock muttering intensely to himself. Odd. Now that you think about it, Mr Brock seems to be absent of many common traits among the people Mr Stark tends to recruit. Perhaps that was the reason for the underlying hostility between the two. Mr Brock certainly makes you slightly anxious. But you boil that down to second hand stress on his behalf. Checking the time again - 6:12 pm - you force yourself to calm down. If Mr Stark trusted this man enough to allow him around his pregnant wife, surely he's safe enough to share a car with.

You pull up to the compound and smile encouragingly at Mr Brock. He returns it and nods in gratitude before getting out. You watch him stumble up the stairs, a distant part of you wishing you could join in. Inside looks so happy and bright. Such a distant, alien world to you. So far out of your reach. Held within your sight by one man who, while friendly enough, barely acknowledges your existence. These people are far removed from you. The good they do surpasses your life. This is what you force yourself to remember, and you wipe the tears from your eyes.

The drive home is difficult, to say the least. What with the tears in your eyes, and the pull you feel back towards the party, you're surprised the car moves at all.

Your apartment is cold when you arrive. Not only due to the obvious symbolism of how lonely you are, but also because you forgot to leave the heater on. You don't care much, though. After everything, you just want to crawl into bed. At least there, you can dream. You can return to the party, to be greeted by smiling faces, all of them delighted at your arrival. There, you can exist in the world you crave. Part of a family that stretches through space.

There, you might just have a Merry Christmas.