#SO FUCK ME I GUESS

[sunwukxng]

My cheque I've been waiting a few months for and was supposedly delivered one week ago is now beyond a doubt either stolen or missing. (:

[goose-juice-2]

My favorite Beatles picture are the ones that kind look like they could be from a coming of age fill, especially the mcharrison ones

[cat-mentality]

Sad QSMP headcannons that have like half a toenail in canon.

The French version:

Baghera cries very silently, like someone who is used to having to keep quiet.

She also has a very high pain tolerance and she didn't understand why until recently.

When Pomme disappeared Baghera was terrified that the Federation had something to do with that, terrified that her little girl would be at the hands of the people who made her and hurt her so badly.

As much as she wants to hate the Federation for having hurt her, at the same time she can't and that makes everything so much worse.

Baghera doesn't have wings. But she does have two scars on her back where no feathers have ever grown.

Antoine was not prepared to actually get attached to any of the French, or even to Pomme. He knows he is in too deep, has too much to lose if he cuts ties with the Federation, and yet it twists something inside of him when he thinks about their possible reactions, especially Etoiles. For the first time in a very long existence he understands what friendship is, knows what it feels like instead of just watching others experience it, and is very aware that he will lose it all.

That is why Antoine was so pissed off at Osito for being careless with the picture, the earlier they discover about his true past, the earlier he will lose them.

If the Federation truly had Pomme he would have burned it all down himself just to bring her back.

The first time Cucurucho saw Antoine angry was after the torture session nearly killed Pierre for good. No one knows who was more shocked by his display, Cucurucho or Antoine himself.

Pierre continues to trouble sleeping and constant nightmares when he does, he can't remember the last time he managed to truly rest without waking up in a cold sweat or screaming, he is always on the verge of passing out and even when he does crash he still has nightmares.

He refuses to acknowledge it or even talk about it, hides his exhaustion with everything he has, pushes people away just to make sure they wouldn't realize there is something wrong, too afraid they will see a weakness to be exploited.

Pierre hates being alone as much as he craves it- He likes being by himself working on his machines and keeping his secrets close to his chest, but at the same time when he is alone is when the dark thoughts take over

He will, on occasion, not exactly seek to get himself hurt but not exactly avoid it either- If he can feel pain it means that there is something human in him doesn't it?

But Pierre hates dying and he will avoid and lash out when put into such a situation. He fears what will wake up, if it will still be him.

Sometimes Kameto look at the rest of the Islanders and he wonders what his own life could have been, what sort of bonds he could have forged with people, if the Federation didn't come for him first.

Etoiles does not know what his worth is if not as a warrior.

He is not smart like the others, he doesn't build pretty buildings or incredible machines, he doesn't know how to do anything but fight. And if he can't fight, if he can't protect the people he cares about, then why is he still around?

War is everything Etoiles really knows. By the time he reached his late teens and was released from the battlefield he had seen more combat than some people in their old age, everything he knew how to do was to fight, he had nowhere to go, knew no one, had nothing.

He was never able to settle down for too long or even to truly build himself a home, Etoiles knew so very little about the world that he just decided he would explore it. Some people in the army talked about things they missed, things they thought worth fighting for, and Etoiles wanted to understand that feeling of fighting for anything but his own survival.

To this day he still feel more comfortable fighting than he ever does doing anything else.

None of them ever had families.

The concept of family was something Antoine learned by watching other species and for a very long time it was not something he truly understood or could relate. It was only after the plane crash and Pomme that it hit him that maybe he can understand this thing now.

Baghera always thought she was just an orphan with amnesia. She had very little memories of her young years and none of them involved other people, just her and a room, so for a long time she believed she was alone in the world. Even now she struggles with that emptiness, especially now that she knows that the Federation may be the closest thing to family that she will ever have.

Etoiles had parents once. He knows he did, but he cannot remember their faces or even their voices most of the time. He was still just a small child when they came for him and sent him to war.

Pierre was always alone. He had parents but they could as well be ghosts haunting their home, he hardly could see glimpses of them from time to time, all he ever truly had were his machines.

[unpretty]

i'm stupid and thought this enclosure would fit an hdd but it said hhd 😭

[lixenn]

I was trying to do the art thing again and it's not working OTL

[potatoplace]

All I want is to sink into my backrooms Feysand world and write the next chapter but nooo I'm stuck at work 😠

[asingingpenguin]

So, I went to the ED last night and was there from about 830pm to 5am. The result? I feel like I was basically told my body was wrong and I'll be in pain indefinitely (could be "months") and just to suck it up and wait it out.

[minamill]

good news and bad news. the good news is i've been working on soft spot again and already have two story posts queued up. the bad news is i just twisted my ankle, can't sit at my pc and the last time this happened it took me 6 months to fully heal bc of eds

[astracora]

i was writing a fic where mc yells at sylus for taking risks with his life. and then the trailer came out, and now all i can think of is tender holding sylus and his desperation for connection to the other half of his soul...

[vampiresblog]

this time of year is so exhausting. the pressure of needing to make all of my christmas presents within the next 2 weeks (I'm short on money for gifts so I decided to make art for family and friends this year) would be enough on its own to make me crumble, but on top of that, the weather is so intense its making my pain flare up and I can't afford to be running the air conditioning all the time. I feel like I'm flaring up badly again because I keep ignoring my body and pushing past the signs that I need to rest because I can't afford to! I might just pass out on december 22nd and sleep until the new year. I want to skip it all. the clock is going too fast for me- apparently thats just what happens as you get older. but its not supposed to be this fast. my clock is going at double the speed of every able bodied persons because I get maybe 5 hours of the day where I can actually do things when everyone else gets 12 or more. I'm trying my hardest and am still falling behind. I just can't rest until everything is ready. I don't want to be a dissapointing friend or brother or son because I couldn't do anything for anyone this christmas

[innovatorbunny]

aiba......

[phaedra-mero]

its so fucking frustrating to me that this site is full of porn bots, full of full frontal nudity and sexual gifs/ads/videos/pictures etc. and they never get flagged or taken down. (its there. any time 'gay' or 'transgender' comes up on the 'trending topics' on the app, the preview posts are ALWAYS full on nudity, genitals out, ans sexually explicit. Not artful or tasteful nude for art's sake.).

but it seems each time i upload some screenshots that are suggestive where there's sex taking place but you can't see anything those posts get flagged and taken down within 30 minutes.

fuckin... lesson learned, won't be bothering with that shit any more i guess.

if you want to see any of the more explicit gpose stuff i have a blueksy account: phaedra-mero.bsky.social where at least everything i do doesn't get immediately flagged and removed. because fuck me i guess.

[i-live-inyourwalls]

FORTY THOUSAND WORDS INTO THIS BOKUAKA FIC NO END IN SIGHT HOW DID THIS HAPPEN

[holopossums]

it's a little sad that atm the only way that i could possibly go back to being as active and productive of an artist as i once was is to become unemployed...

[koralsanimations]

Yeah… this kinda sucks

[stuntingonthelow]

So a couple friends and I didn't do NYE together last year, and it sucked. So we discussed that and decided to plan ahead the next day and agreed on a place to do it

Just now it got cancelled because their s.o. invited a friend (not back when our plans were made, only invited them in the last couple days) who can't make it (shocker that). So because that means now it wouldn't be fun for the s.o. the whole thing is cancelled.

And like.... I get it. I wouldn't want their s.o. to be uncomfortable or anything. Still sucks tho.