#SMILES. GRINS EVEN

[npdkondraki]

Can I hear the 4 paraghraph essay abt why kondraki is the most repressed woman alive im genuily very interested

ok starting off strong; her entire personality hinges on her overperformance of masculinity. she is violent, overprotective, and incredibly arrogant, all traits that she has picked up from both the men around her and the men she saw on tv. her entire worldview is centered around the idea that if she is not uncaring, aggressive, self-centered, and spiteful, then she isn't just less of a man, but less of a person, less of an individual. despite being self-centered, she despises everything about herself. she hates how violent she is, she hates how cruel she is, she hates how she doesn't even care about anyone around her.

she perpetuates a cycle of hating everything "being a man" stands for by traumatizing herself, and the traumatization only makes her more violent, more "man-like" in her eyes. she uses her perceived masculinity as a shield to hide behind any sort of self-reflection, she's tricked herself into believing that she IS a man and she IS better for it. she believes that if she outperforms every man around her, then nobody can question her manhood, meaning she doesn't have to question her manhood. she doesn't even refuse to think about it, she just is so deeply caught up in her own narrative that she doesn't realize she's repressing everything.

she views womanhood in a deeply misogynistic way, purposefully. she views anyone that she deems a "non-man" as weak, perceptible to violence, perceptible to being hurt, perceptible to emotion. it's both a product of the way that she was raised, and a way for her to cope and deny any feelings of being a woman. she is arrogant, she is violent, she is overly masculine, and she is not weak. she desperately makes both herself and everyone around her see herself as anything but a traditional woman, going out of her way to get into fights and arguments as a form of dominance.

kondraki views the very act of being feminine as a joke, something to be laughed at, to be made fun of, because it is so utterly ridiculous in her own eyes that anyone would want to be weak. she is incapable of separating "vulnerability" and "being a woman" from eachother, firmly believing them to go hand-in-hand. during her recounting of the 113 incident, she talks of it extremely fondly, almost dream-like, calling herself a "pretty princess" and saying how gorgeous she felt. this is played for laughs, even by herself. she plays it off like a joke, all while obviously being deeply fond of the experience. throughout the entire post, she speaks wistfully of being a woman, like it's some faint dream that she woke up from and could never hope to achieve. she clarifies towards the end that, after the effects had worn off, she was deeply depressed again. it's a deeply vulnerable post on her own part, whether she plays it for jokes or not.

one of the only times she allows herself to be vulnerable, to express interest in anything besides her over masculine persona that she has adapted over the years, is when she is talking about being a woman. it is overwhelmingly obvious that it has deeply effected her. it was, quite literally, the "prettiest she's ever felt". and that's the thing, it Was. past-tense. this is not something she has kept up. it is a deep secret she has hidden away. she allowed herself to be feminine, to be vulnerable and weak and every other word she has told herself women are, and it haunts her. again, she speaks of it so fondly, but it still haunts her. it's a nagging thought in the back of her head that she is not a man, that she is not safe, that she is vulnerable, that she is weak. and so she hides it, locks it away in a deep part of her that she refuses to look at, and she laughs at it, laughs at herself, implies she is ridiculous to even be thinking like this, allowing herself to be vulnerable and give away some part of herself that she has vowed to never release. she is arrogant, and she is mean, and she is cruel, and all of these things wind back into her own self-perception.

tldr kondraki hates herself and the 113 post is a deeply vulnerable thing for her to ever admit and she hates herself sooo deeply for it

[puzzlekinq]

edward should choke me til im on the verge of passing out i think he should take his anger out on Me. smiles :)

[mittland]

2023 vs 1981

[prismatiger]

And then a weird guy appear

[dreamdripdistance]

i received a divine vision and it told me to make ruikasa into women

[trypoed]

get a man who looks at you with the same affection that Hoffman looks at Strahm's hand

[epickiya722]

She's about to do some dangerous things!! 😆

[luthqrs]

“Will you stay with me?” “Of course I will.” “I don’t just mean tonight.” “I’m going nowhere.” LISA SWAIN in CORONATION STREET ↝ 18.02.2025

[missing-the-early-sunsets]

happy valentine's day(ish)! just for the occasion, i decided to ink and upload a fully unmasked/unobstructed michael with a nice lil smile (and based on a 1978 behind-the-scenes photo). so here's the reveal!!and this is also a sorta companion piece to a previous post where i drew jake park dbd in a similar way :D

[halfusek]

meow

[reineydraws]

this ask got me thinking about the body swap au again lol here's a wip for what is eventually going to become a sketch dump post for the au aha. whenever i finish that.

[moxievoxi]

tbh I don’t get why everyone thinks the lucanis backing you against a wall scene is so hot and wants him to go further. It’s painfully obvious to me that he’s playing a part that he’s not really comfortable in. His smile looks so stiff to me compared to his other smiles in the game… tbh it reminds me of illario. i completely get why he backs off so suddenly, he is 100% hit with the realization that he’s playing a role and needs a moment to breathe.

[funnywizard3000]

Citizen Sleeper January Day 10 - Castor (again)

X

[dreamdripdistance]

(shows up immeasurably late to the party) heyyy guys... hows it going...........

[suguru-getos]

man why does everyone baby-fy me like i am intimidating as shit why would you keep calling me babygirl baby sweetie grrrrr

[mail-me-a-snail]

if you tug at the wires of blu engie's gunslinger he'll be able to feel it by the way. so theoretically you could be pulling at those things to either piss him off or get him really flustered