#SLAPS YOU

[xbuster]

[claypigeonpottery]

a kinetic sculpture by Tim Lewis

I know it’s not pottery but it is sculptural and holy shit

it’s beautiful and disturbing and I feel like I could stumble across this creature in a forest and never be seen again???

[writing-is-a-martial-art]

Guy who has wandered through the halls and corridors of your body not with any special kind of love but with the untold intimacy of a contractor assessing the damages and potentials voice: right, so the main issue here is that the body is currently a temple, okay, and what we want is for it to be a home, cause temples are pretty and all and occasionally nice to be in if you're into that sort of thing but very few people would actually want to live in one. So what we're gonna do first is you're gonna take a look at what's here, the carrying walls and windows and all that, and you're going to come up with something you'd actually like to be alive inside of, and it's going to be a lot of work and it's going to feel strange and stupid and embarrassing but you're still gonna do it, because otherwise this construction site is fucked. And maybe what you want to live in is a skatepark or an anime-themed cat cafe or an esoteric library that has a dildo section for some reason, so it might feel like it's a downgrade from a temple, but it's actually the opposite cause the main customer for a body is you and the main customer for a temple are templegoers and maybe higher powers of some kind, - i wouldn't know about those, they never hired me, - not the temple itself, which is what you are, right, cause the body/mind/soul separation doesn't actually do anything, so what you're gonna do is look at the current layout and dig out whatever hope and ability to want you have and come up with a blueprint, and then my boys can actually get to work. Oh, and you have got to change the windows, it's drafty as fuck in here.

[ryusxnka]

@sturmfreid

" ----------------------------- Are you following me? " he'd promptly inquire, testing the icy waters with evident intentions of disclosing if she could discern his physicality or not.

[hell0mega]

people are drawing Steamboat Willie Mickey doing all this crazy shit and whatnot, but you could always do that. you can do that now, with current Mickey, just fine. it's fanart and it's legally protected. hell you could take Disney-drawn Mickey and put a caption about unions or whatever on it and it would still be protected under free speech and sometimes even parody law.

what is special about public domain is that you can SELL him. you could take a screenshot and sell it on a tshirt. you can use him to advertise your plumbing business. people have already uploaded and monetized the original film.

you could always have Mickey say what you want, but now you can profit off it.

[gojoed]

tumblr stop acting up

[yuwuta]

whenever you and satoru have an argument, he holds your hand and he won’t let go until he’s certain you’re not mad anymore. you’re telling him off because he forgot to unpack the dishwasher again, and he knows that’s his fault and you have a right to be mad but he hates when you’re mad and even worse when you’re mad at him, so he does the first thing that comes to mind and laces your hands together. now you can’t leave and be mad at him alone, you have to be mad at him while he’s connected to you and satoru has learned that that far reduces the amount of time you spend mad at him. getting upset because he led you two in the wrong direction? holding hands until you’ve cooled down. upset with him for being reckless mid-fight? he drops his infinity just to be close to you, holds your hand and tells you the curse can wait, he needs your forgiveness more. mad at him because he forgot something important on his way home? you’re holding hands until you forgive him—which could be all the way until you go to bed, or dragging you by your connected hands with him to the store to pick up what was forgotten. you get irritated with him in public? he’s quick to hold your hands and beg for kisses. sometimes the first years see you steaming and satoru following you like a lovesick puppy, his leash being your laced fingers and megumi just sighs and explain to yuuji and nobara that, “they’re fighting. this is their get along tactic, just leave them be.” 

[mangy-cur]

I am doing this to you right now

[error-404-fuck-not-found]

Hey so remember how grocery prices suddenly jackknifed during lockdown and never went back down?

Well turns out the companies would have done that shit either way and had been steadily price-fixing for the last decade!

Washington State Attorney General Bob Ferguson just announced more than $40 million in court-ordained Fuck You money from massive swaths of food production companies are to be paid out to households earning at or below 175% of the federal poverty level ($25.5k for 1 person, $34.5k for 2 people households) before Dec 31st of this year. Happy Holidays.

"The bottom line here is that my legal team took on two large corporate price-fixing conspiracies that increased the cost for groceries for Washington families. We've prevailed, and as a result, we are sending checks to over 400,000 Washington households."

Cannot stress enough the extent of the conspiracies he's talking about here. 15 out of the total 19 chicken producers got nailed in this lawsuit. Not the total number of conspirators, mind, just the ones who left enough evidence for the AG to kick their ass in so expedient a manner. Make no mistake, all 19 were in on it. The court case against the rest of them has been delayed until October of next year, though. None of them are making it out unscathed.

Tuna didn't escape antitrust horseshit either, because the CEOs of Starkist, Chicken of the Sea, and Bumblebee Tuna had a fucking group chat where they complained that the price of tuna was "too low" and they agreed to artificially inflate the price.

“What’s so maddening about the conduct of these companies is the reason that they engaged in this price-fixing conspiracy was greed. They wanted to make money."

So anyway the AG who nailed their asses to the wall and continues to do so is running for governor. If you live in Washington, could be worth your vote when primary season rolls around.

[miss-anaa]

[nebulousfishgills]

Listen, Otto realizing that he helped put a moron on the Iron Throne and then going through the five stages of grief before dipping is peak comedy, bro really fucked around and then found out.

[machveil]

Y/N, over text: I'm so sorry for drunkenly yelling at you

Simon, over text: Do it again.

actually hear me out

TF141 going out for drinks after a deployment, just to unwind and drink after surviving a nightmare of a mission, and Simon gets completely wasted - just drunk off his ass. he’s not a lightweight, he can hold a couple drinks, which is why Soap and Gaz are having a laugh over him slurring out incomprehensible sentences and wobbling in his seat

but, through his thick accent and hoarse voice, Simon manages a couple mumbled words, “Where— where’s m’doll?”. his eyes are as cold as ever but his voice is suddenly so desperate. Price is watching it unfold as Johnny tries to ask Simon what he’s talking about. after Simon grumbles at him that his ‘doll’ is missing and, “Soa— Soap, need m’doll—”, it clicks for Gaz

they’re trying to get Simon to unlock his phone, he’s being stubborn about his mask being tugged down and Soap is trying to get him to tell them his password. somehow, after a couple minutes, they finally manage to break into the man’s phone. yeah, when Simon sobers up he’ll probably mouth off at them, but right now they’re scrolling through his contacts. Simon’s contacts are just people’s numbers, no names - except for one simply labeled ‘Riley’

as soon as Gaz clicks the FaceTime button he hands it off to Simon. he’s not really paying attention until your voice rings in his ears, then he’s quick to look down at the screen. suddenly he’s sated, gaze smitten as his shoulders relax. you can tell he’s had a few, his head dipping ever so slightly as he slouches over, face a little too close to the camera. you’re about to ask why he called you but he cuts you off, muffled by his mask and voice a couple octaves deeper from the alcohol, “Hi, dolly.”

[smoqueen]

[starcurtain]

Please someone redraw this with Dr. Ratio and Aventurine because this is the exact vibe they have in my head post-Penacony.

[perpetuallyexhaustednoodle]

As a Transformers newbie introduced to it by a friend through TF One:

Me: *points at heavily pixelized random bot from TF One* Who's this one??

Her: That's Ironhide.

Me, confused: *points at another blurry picture* And this one?

Her: That's Prowl!

Me, incredulously: HOW CAN YOU TELL????? HUH???

Her, matter of factly: By his head.

Me:

Me:

Me: HIS HEAD????? WHAT?

[lotus-pear]

he’s begging kuni to let them eat pancakes for dinner