#SHIT SON THANKS

[almondpiglet]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAREST REIGEN!!

everyone thanks you for entering their lives :')

[echosdevil]

PADDINGTON IN PERU dir. by Dougal Wilson

[rect-bibi]

its been 84 years

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 234

More of the Tiamat Au? More of the Tiamat Au! 

Sharing a body was strange. Ten limbs split between the nine of them- thirteen if one counted the tails and seventeen if one counted the fact that their cloak… skirt… whatever could mimic the wings of their other form. 

One which they would change back to after a few moments- there was much less stumbling when it was all fours. Not to mention that if not for the tails they’d have easily toppled over with how many arms they had making them slightly top heavy. Okay more than slightly, it was taking a bit to adjust. 

Honestly the fields of wheat and other crops did nothing to hide them with how tall even this body was, but it was still better than nothing, and they were using the fact it was the middle of nowhere to their shared advantage. 

At least the humanoid- not human, even now their shared power thrummed through the air, leaking from them- form was smaller than their true draconic one. Well, perhaps they shouldn’t call it their true form, when they were once all human, halfa and liminal alike, but they’d long since stopped being such. So perhaps it was in fact true to call the form they had become as their normal state now. 

Actually, could they even separate now? Or had their power melded together so much that it was impossible now, and an attempt would end them? It would at the very least crack their core- 

“What the fuck.” 

Their head lurched, a little too far if the jolt of pain was anything before it melted away. They were all too used to moving their own necks separately. But all of them agreed that discovery could not happen-

Oh.

It was a child. A preteen with red-orange hair, blue-green eyes, expensive clothing, and most damming of all, large swaths of bruising across his arms. Bruising that did not come from usual play, and looked far too much like hand prints for any of their comfort. 

Someone had very much not been taking care of this child. And that really made them quite angry. 

[phobiacoms]

I constantly go back to the movies just to see them.

[scatterbrainedbot]

Hello :D

You're so cool

Anyway have you thought that in your rat sons au Splinter might outlive the boys?

You're very cool :D love your stuff dude

(tw for some blood, light gore, implied overdose (kinda??))

hi copper!!! this is a fantastic question!

so obviously typical irl rats have far shorter lifespans than the average irl tortoise. according to google (yes, be awed by my spectacularly in-depth wealth of research) the average pet rat lives between 2-4 years ish, and the oldest on record lived to be about 7. meanwhile, an African spurred tortoise (Splinter's species) averages more around a 50ish year lifespan in captivity, tho is suspected to possibly exceed 75 or more in the wild.

Now, the mutation does give us a lot of wiggle room for playing with these numbers. For the rat sons boys, id say their natural lifespan probably clocks in at about 45-55 years old? definitely not old by human standards, but not young young either. (though, its also important to note that the boys were exposed to the mutagen just days after being born.)

For Splinter, meanwhile, aging is slightly more complicated. He lived the vast majority of his life as a regular normal African spurred tortoise (well, non-mutated at least. there were perhaps some shenanigans of a more mystical variety going on before he was mutated, but thats a separate matter) He was about 70ish i think? when the boys were born and they were all exposed to the mutagen. so he is already distinctly an old man turtle papa. id guess he'd probably still have another eh lets say 25-30 years after his mutation. he could probably push it a little farther even with some mystic nonsense, but when push comes to shove id say his 'natural' post-mutation lifespan would put his death like a solid decade or two before his sons.

of course, the tricky part of the matter is that theres no way for Splinter to know any of this. theres no way for him to know how the mutation affected them all, or if it even affected them all in the same way. especially since the boys dont show many physical signs of mutation for the first few years, and just kinda look like normal rats, (albeit with a more human sort of intelligence) — what sort of health standard do you hold them to? what if they simply dont show external signs of sickness or old age anymore? how do you actually know if something is wrong?

for a while there Splinter is very worried that one of his babies will just essentially reach the end of their normal rat lifespan, fall and not get up again.

so mostly, he just tries to live in the moment, enjoying whatever time he does have with his little ones, taking each day as a gift <3

still,

that fear

never

really

goes

away.....

[fettiowi]

My god I love you bitch

[cobbbvanth]

We're 100% getting a Buck and Eddie confrontation like the grocery store with the added heap of 'Do you know what Christopher really wants? How would you, you won't ask him' that will parallel the real thing Shannon called Eddie out for. Things are gonna get MESSY!

PLEASE IT'D BE SO GOOD. buck deserves to be the one yelling at someone else for doing something stupid! show me buck being the one with the wisdom! show me buck knowing what christopher wants! buck understanding what's good for him! i love confrontation actually 🤭 the beauty of buck and eddie is that they can be real with each other, and my god does eddie need someone to be so fucking real with him right now

[mothraranger]

Okay, HOW WOULD THE COUNCIL REACT TO ULTRA MAGNUS being sparked with Optimus? Better yet, how did Megatron find out Optimus is HIS sparkling

Okay I have thought about this scenario dozens of times and the million ways it could go. Bear with me, okay?

Most scenarios involve Megatron and Ultra Magnus fragging the night before the Decepticons are to leave Cybertron. Ultra would get sparked with Optimus but he would only find out weeks after the 'Cons left. Megatron being out of communications range. Ultra upon finding out already loves their sparkling and decides to keep it.

Here comes the problem: telling the Council. Now, if the Council is like their Canon selves, they wouldn't necessarily be happy but they won't turn their backs on Ultra either; they eventually come around to Ultra having the sparkling. But if the Council was like their IDW 1 selves...

They wouldn't be happy. At all. Like admonishing Ultra and demanding that he'd terminate his carrying cycle. And in AU's where Ultra is half Decepticon, Allspark help him because it's worse, like bitching about how there's gonna be another hybrid, slut-shaming the Magnus, saying horrible things about the sparkling even before it's born, maybe trying to marry off Ultra, or maybe trying to convince Ultra to have the sparkling marry one of the Council Members kids when it's older (doesn't work because Ultra beat the shit out of the first person who dares to think of his child that way!)

It's a mess.

Now if course, there is the issue of telling the Council as to who the Sire is. Telling them outright that Megatron is the Sire would get him Court Martial, stripped of his rank and status as an Autobot, have the sparkling taken away from him, and facing jail time or exile. So he lies: he tells them that he had been in a secret relationship with another 'Bot for some time but unfortunately, the 'Bot died during the Battle for Iacon and their remains obliterated and unable to be recovered during the fight between Blackout and one of the Omega Sentinels. He would also say that the 'Bot had no surviving family and had requested that there would be no funeral if their remains couldn't be recovered. The Canon Council wouldn't be surprised that Ultra had been seeing someone and had suspected it for a while and respects the Magnus's wishes. The Council that is like their IDW 1 selves wouldn't believe Ultra but couldn't do anything because they had no proof.

As for Megatron finding out, I honestly haven't thought of it that much but I'll try my best.

It could happen near the end of Megatron Rising, Part 2, where Optimus and Megatron are fighting onboard Omega Supreme when the Allspark shows that they are father and son. Where it can go from there, I don't know.

Now this one I have thought of. During the Elite Guard's stay on Earth, Ultra Magnus gets captured by the Lugnut and Blitzwing and is brought to Megatron. The Warlord treats him well and they even interface. But something happens and Ultra reveals that Optimus is his son. Megatron, doesn't believe him at first and goes to confront the Prime despite Ultra's pleas. He gets a strand of Optimus CNA and sure enough, he's his son. He is upset at Ultra at first but comes to understand why Ultra keep it secret (especially if the Council is Functionist).

These are just the scenarios where Ultra raised Optimus (and for the record, in AU's where Ultra raised Optimus, the sentence "Being a hero is not in your programming" was not said by the Magnus , it was either unsaid or spoken by Alpha Trion.) Now AU's where Ultra Magnus gave up Optimus for adoption are different: Ultra gets sparked before the War really broke out (there's no rape involved), hides his carrying cycle, gives up Optimus (reluctantly) because he can't provide a good life for him and him and Megatron are on bad terms, and the Council never knew. When Optimus and Megatron find out, there's a lot of drama but there is eventually reconciliation, genuine apologies, and peace between both sides.

I have one even worse. Optimus was raised by Ultra up until he was the equivalent of a Cybertronian four-year old when the Functionist Council discovers that Megatron is his Sire. They take Optimus away from Ultra, temporarily imprisoned the Magnus so that by the time Optimus is with a new family that it's already too late to find him, and either performed mnemosurgery on Optimus or Optimus is so traumatized that he blocks out any and all memories during that time including the identity of his Carrier. Ultra is either sterilized or is forcibly married of to a Council Member or Senator. When Megatron finds out, Unicron won't be able to save the Council.

For more lighthearted stuff, I got two scenarios. During the War, something that threatens the existence of both sides (probably the Quintessons) forces the Autobots and Decepticons to join forces. Megatron and Ultra goes from enemies to reluctant allies to lovers. Quintessons lose, peace is achieved, Megatron and Ultra Magnus become co-rulers and sparkmates, and they have Optimus and some other sparklings (my OCs). Scenario 2 involves Ultra getting kicked out of the Elite Guard while he was Ultra Prime, meeting Megatron and falling in love, joining the Decepticons, becoming Decepticon second-in-command (much to Starscream's displeasure) and eventually Lord Consort, and they have Optimus and his six or more siblings (don't worry, Optimus wasn't parentified and none of the sparklings were neglected in any way, shape, or form).

[gingermintpepper]

I saw it in your tag game post that you're also fond of the Apollo-Heracles conflict 👀 for a myth that appears in only a couple of sources, it sure has a lot of presence in the vase paintings (no seriously, everytime I think I've seen the last of it, I find ten more)

SO do you have any favorites among the paintings that represent this story??

OMG OMG THIS ASK IS A GIFT. IT IS A GIFT THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR LETTING ME TALK ABOUT THIS

I also think it's extremely interesting that it's a story so popularly portrayed by vase paintings and in such a variety of ways!! It's certainly one of the stories that gets left out of written compilation of Heracles' legend a bit (which is a shame, I think it's a fantastic story) but Apollo had a very peculiar relationship with Heracles in general that I just kind of find amazing (and very, very funny).

Apollo is not a god with any legitimate grudge against Heracles, but he does argue with the mortal a bit like he argues with his favourite brothers 😂Part of why I love the story of Apollo and Heracles fighting over the tripod so much is that it is such a little brother thing for Heracles to be upset with the proclamation his elder brother has given him and so, he throws a great fit, taking up the chair and declaring that he'll just give himself a better prophecy! And Apollo, instead of being a marginally professional big brother, decides to fight him for it until their father has to break up their cat-fight. Like was that not just the plot of the Homeric Hymn to Hermes? Is this not exactly how Apollo treated Hermes when he was a child and now those two are inseparable? 💀

Because of this, my favourite vase paintings tend to be the ones that highlight the personal squabbling between Apollo and Heracles the most. There are some very elaborate ones that have the full host of them - Athena, Heracles, Apollo, Artemis, usually a dog and a doe, I've even seen a couple that had birds and plants etched on them, but the simplest ones that show Heracles about to bonk Apollo with his club out of frustration or depict Heracles nyooming away from Apollo while Apollo (presumably) yells curses about how he's going to fling Heracles head first into Tartarus for daring to take his things? Yeah, those are the premium big brother/little brother things I'm looking for.

(Photo. Marie-Lan Ngyuen)

(Photo. Museo Claudio Faina)

Also the one in the Theoi.com archives is a real classic - perfect energy.

[buck-up-buck]

7x09 is titled "Unfinished Business" ....

Tell me that is not a revenge plot against Bobby. TELL ME. You can't. If I was not convinced before, I AM NOW.

hErE mE oUt.

I'm not saying they are going to burn down Buck's loft, I AM NOT... BUT, imagine Bobby is dropping a patient off at the hospital with Hen and Chim (I know this hardly ever happens but roll with me guys), and our friend, the Burn Unit Nurse, sees him, and is like...

"Bobby?" BECAUSE, he recognises him, from all those years ago in Minnesota. He lived in Bobby's apartment complex, they were somewhat neighbours, and he saw Bobby go into that vacant apartment that night (the night we do not DARE talk about), on his way to work, and was working a night shift at the hospital when suddenly, they get an influx of patients with burns and smoke inhalation from an apartment fire downtown, and he hears in passing from a nurse the address, and his heart sinks because no his fiance was at home asleep at that address and he hears from someone a few weeks later that the fire started in a vacant room due to an electrical issue with a space heater and HE JUST KNOWS.

And Bobby turns around to face him and is like "Sorry, do I know you?" Because Bobby was going through it back then, he doesn't remember this guy, and the guy is like, "Sorry, no, I was mistaken." And he walks away leaving Bobby all like huh.

Then the episode ends with the truck pulling into the firehouse and the camera pans out and we see BURN UNIT NURSE GUY STOOD ACROSS THE ROAD STARING UP AT THE FIREHOUSE BECAUSE DUN DUN DUN- He has some Unfinished Business to attend to.

If this so happens to lead to the burning down of Buck's loft because this guy does his research and he does some stalking and he sees a connection that Bobby has with Buck that he doesn't seem to share with the other members of the team, then well, ya'll didn't see it here first but I fucking called it if so, because you're telling me that is not a CRAZY storyline right there.

BUT, even if not, even if we do not get our beloved loft burning down scene that we have been writing and praying for on Fanfiction for years, you cannot tell me that there is not going to be some kind of dark revenge plot going on in the last four episodes. This nurse is about to cause some HAVOC I CAN SENSE IT. MY SPIDEY SENSES ARE TINGLING GUYS.

Anyway, @whollyjoly and @thetangycheesemanwithaplan had the absolute joy of hearing this from a very sleep-deprived me last week and now that the episode titles have been released, Buck's loft burning down and Burn Unit Nurses revenge plot is going to be my new personality trait. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU.

[jaytalking]

Warmups from today doubling as a design study of sorts

[byfulcrums]

i cannot stop thinking about anissa and marky though [COMIC SPOILERS]

how did he react when he learned what his mother did? just like mark, he lived a lie. he thought his mother was kind and nice — the only thing that is true is that she loved him, but now, he has no idea if he should believe it

and. you've grown up being conditioned to believe that violence is peace, and that kindness is a lie and a weakness. you hurt people. by hurting a person, by destroying him irreparably, you found the boy you love most: your son. and you don't regret it. you hope one day, once he sees him, he'll get it. but you still don't regret it. you can't say you're sorry

marky will grow up without his biological father, because when mark hugs him he can only remember his mother and what she did to him. your father can't love you the way your mom did. you can't love your mother the way your father loved his

the worst part is, that it she hadn't done it, you wouldn't have existed. you wouldn't be here. your father will grow to love you. you will grow to accept each other. but you tend to wonder — if he never sees you as anything else other than your mother's son, then who will you have when everyone else you know dies?

[evilminji]

Also! Peace n Face Cuddles on planet Earth.

All veterinarians should be paid more and given kisses n gold. My baby is no longer mystery sick n Cheese ain't having anymore babies! It was NOT a happy time for cats be we recovered.

[bardicious]

BRAIN IS EVAPORATING, BUT... what if the reason Chris knew Jim as Sam's brother is because Chris, being the first officer of the Enterprise with Robert April, was there to oversee Jim coming back to his family after the Tarsus event, and met Sam as a result??? And they kind of hit it off keeping in communication??

[sistersofsilver]

apollo you cannot cover your dads fucking out of pocket commentary but bless you for trying