#SHES JUST MORE TRAUMATISED

[daily-linkclick]

im gonna miss xixi every day until forever, lowkey want the og timeline to be restored so that she can live

oughgh... sometimes i delude myself into thinking she can still be alive through qiao ling NOT in the sense that her powers transferred to ql (i actually hate that idea) but in the sense that her soul transferred to ql but not in the intrusive way it's like now ql has a little tianxi ai who she can talk to . for fun

[ceaselesswatchersspecialboy]

I will die on the hill that to understand Anidala you have to accept that Padme saw the red flags clear as day and went for it anyway. Why? Because Anakin was honest with her. Because Anakin, for all his idolising and putting her on a pedestal, still saw and treated her as a human being, even argued against her at times without fear or without hiding behind clever words. Because Anakin made her feel the youth that was taken from her at a young age. She was captured by the boyish charm and the awkwardness and the blunt honesty, and so when he came to her with a billion red flags, she went for it anyway. He was a breath of fresh air to her.

To understand Anidala you must understand they are 100% freak4freak. They are both children who grew up too fast and are now in a secret relationship giggling like teenagers in their twenties. This is vital to them. Padme is not a flawless character or an idea of perfection, on the contrary she is a very human character who was put in charge of her people at fourteen, something that had a lasting impact on her, and so she is choosing her childhood joy and a fairytale romance over the red flags her husband is waving. She is the OG ‘I can fix him’ mentality. No one is doing it like her.

‘The red flags are mass murder’ and the point still stands.

[letsplaythermalnuclearwar]

tbh I think Calypso views herself as Odysseus's rest and reward. like, she's the comfort in a hurt/comfort fic. she's the therapy saga. and honestly, a lot of her actions make sense when you look at it like that.

Odysseus is traumatised and scared and hurting. and she understands that. she's so understanding that she doesn't take it personally when he yells or screams or begs -- trauma makes it hard to regulate emotions, after all. he'll calm down in a little bit.

she's so understanding that she's not even hurt when he rejects her advances. he's been alone for so long that he's scared of intimacy now. but she doesn't let that discourage her. he'll get used to the idea eventually.

she's so understanding that she doesn't give up on him, even when he talks and talks and talks about his wife and son. obviously he wants to go back to them, but what he wants isn't what's good for him. that's fine, he doesn't need to know what's good for him yet. that's what she's for.

she's so understanding that she doesn't even let it upset her too much when Ody stands too close to the edge and stares out at sea below like its calling to him. it's okay. she can catch him if he falls.

sure, they're relationship isn't what she's dreamed about for centuries -- real relationships never are that perfect. her Ody has a lot of healing to do. and she'll make sure she's with him through it all.

[johanna-swann]

"911's most intense season yet!" - According to whom???

[anemoyuri]

it’s interesting to see how people in this fandom react to events where teenagers are alone in high-risk situations with no adult supervision. and it’s not even about lazy writing, where the writers are like “well this teens adventure novel, they won’t just go to school.. they need to go on adventures and such!! even if they’re 15”

it’s about time periods.

like my parents in the 70s, when they were teenagers, already went on the hikes to another country with no adult supervision and took pretty heavy for children odd jobs. and the whole independence from the young age was encouraged (take in consideration the fact, that im from Ukraine and in the 70s my country was still a part of USSR).

the farther we go into the past, the more distorted the concept of appropriate age for this character is. like Dikke being 19 yo, barely an adult , was considered being middle aged at medieval times. like yeah, if average life expectancy of that time was 35 at best, she’s 40 for our modern society. and if we consider war time for each country that was mentioned … oh boy, it’s even more distorted after more peaceful times, stress really ages you.

and if we’re talking about Vertin’s team… i’m glad that they act pretty much to their age. they feel like teenagers with too much responsibility on their shoulders, especially Vertin… trauma made her that way.

all of this is just me rambling with no fact checks tho

EDIT: i was corrected on the fact that people in Middle Ages had shorter life expectancy, it’s just that many children at that time died before turning 5 y.o. and that’s why the average life expectancy was skewed. so Dikke would be considered a young lady and NOT middle-aged

[phaoi]

inspired by this post here are my top five chaotic/ funny tour moments (that I personally experienced)!

1. meeting dnp & showing them the phrats only for dan to drop his and joke that he killed his rat-self

2. being behind dnp at tsa at the airport in copenhagen but being too tired/ scared to say hi only to see them again at baggage claim in berlin and somehow leaving the airport in the midst of them and their crew while wearing a fucking wad hoodie…

3. all of us waiting at the wrong stage door in amsterdam. so when they came out through the other one no one noticed and they had to shout to get our attention

4. berlin choosing “scheiße” for like every single role model or nole-model answer and the answers written on the screen getting more and more chaotic bc of the “ß”

5. all the phannies leaving tit amsterdam somehow getting stuck in 1st class on the train out of the city and not being able to move to 2nd class bc the train was too full. so all the phannies just chilled with the business men going home from work

[pushing500]

We built a marble sarcophagus for Brandy beside where the toxic wastepacks get stored. It's a lovely little spot, perfect for nostalgic reflections and a nice private cry.

Speaking of crying... Brandy liked to follow Mechi around while he did jobs, so I imagine he feels her loss a bit more strongly than he might have otherwise. We need a way to vent all this pent-up grief! Fortunately, Kwahu knows just how to get one...

A second diabolus is just what the doctor ordered! We need another signal chip anyway so that we can make the boys cool matching mechanitor gear.

A healthy way to vent emotions, I'm sure. Brandy would be so proud of us. Rest in peace, best girl 💔

First | Next | Previous

[comixandco]

cleo sertori had a fear of swimming since she was a child and nobody considered for a second that getting stranded on a boat in the middle of the sea then falling into a cave system where she had to swim through subterranean water tunnels to the ocean where she had to tread water until a s&r team found them would be traumatic and exacerbate her fear into full aquaphobia

secretly becoming a mermaid helped her get over her fear but to everybody else her being cagey about the pool party and washing the dishes makes 100% sense when they stop for a moment and consider she’s probably terrified

[ehlnofay]

my tes secret santa for @anotherclassicpretence! truth be told I've been having a tad bit of writer's block lately but some of your prompts were VERY interesting (I liked the idea of writing delphine before the main quest a lot... this more or less counts) so I hope I've done them justice. hope you're having a splendid holiday season!

...

“Steady on, Hilde,” Delphine says with a brusque, manufactured sort of calm. “You’ll do yourself a mischief.”

It's a relief, she thinks, that the day Hilde has elected to barge in with world-upending news is a convenient one; it isn’t as though Riverwood is the kind of place to attract crowds, most of the time (part of the reason she chose to live here at all) but the inn is unusually quiet now. Orgnar is nominally organising something in the cellar, which means that he’s spending an hour swapping two bottles around and calling it a day, and the dining hall is warmed to a swelter with the ever-going hearthfire, and utterly empty. No-one’s come in for lunch yet. No rooms rented out last night, either, so it’s all silent on that front; it’s just Delphine and her wet cotton cloth, wiping down the stained tables till they shine, and Hilde with her hair wrapped and her string of beads tangling round narrow, hard-knuckled fingers. She’s sat herself on the chair with the wobbly leg; it needs fixing soon. Ordinarily, Delphine would herd her onto another, but right now she doesn’t think there’s anything in the world that would get Hilde to listen.

“Hark at her!” she complains to the bead-string - all marbled glass dyed blue and red and yellow, clinking together on their leather cord. “Do a mischief - do a mischief - it’s as if she can’t bloody hear me -”

Delphine swipes the cloth over the chip in the corner of the table. “I hear you,” she replies (does she ever hear her). Hilde’s hands are white where the necklace bites into her skin; her lips are pinched into a puckered line. Her eyes are red-rimmed and fierce. “Hilde. I’m going to get you a drink to calm your nerves, and then we’ll talk it over properly, all right?”

���Talk it over,” Hilde repeats, high and scornful, and then her face screws up quite suddenly as if all the fight has fled it - the wrinkles in her cheeks deepening to uneasy valleys, knuckles pressed to the thin slat of her mouth, beads digging hard into her cheek. “Nine have mercy… thank you, Delphine.”

The inner corner of Delphine’s lip snags, near imperceptibly, between the blunt ends of her canines. She nods once, and she ducks behind the bar, folding the cloth with damp precision as she goes. The cask of ale is near empty, the mugs lined up on their shelf, sparkling clean, cutlery rattling around in its tin. It's not fancy - Riverwood is a small, old town, built on the bones of an older one, and no matter how well-run the inn has been since she bought it it's not exactly a prime destination, but it's a good sort of a place. And innkeeping is decent work. Keeps you busy. Keeps your ear to the ground. Gives you something to focus on, in the meantime -

When Delphine grabs a tankard, she notes with some incredulity that her hand is trembling. She stills it. She pours the ale until the cup rim is flecked with froth.

(Gives you something to focus on in the meantime, in between real work, while you're waiting -)

(There is a feeling rising in her body, foaming like the ale; a sour, stomach-turning excitement, as if she's in her twenties again and wet behind her ears, biting back all the intrigue. Like she has an unlined face and fresh armour and is standing again in line for her induction ceremony. Like she's staring something in the face and thinking, finally.)

Delphine caps the cask. She is not in her twenties, and she is not staring anything down; bar Hilde, a seventy year old woman with tannin-stained hands and the latest in a line of tall stories. Delphine didn't get this far (how far?) (still alive, isn’t she) through credulity. She's a pragmatist through and through - won't believe anything she hasn't seen evidence of with her own eyes; and yet.

And yet.

She sets the mug down on the table; a pale and lukewarm drop slides down the pewter, just next to the handle. She'll need to wipe it all down again, after this.

Hilde takes it, absent-minded; the beads slither from where they’re strung around her hands to rest in a smooth curve over her chest. Her hands are shaking - she doesn’t seem to notice, or if she does, she doesn’t stop them. There is a look about her, all of a sudden, that seems dreadfully, fixedly haunted, like a woman looking down the barrel of a cannon, some rapid-rigged explosive, something to level the town. Like she’s caught the apocalypse’s eye. Delphine reaches out, perfunctory, and pats the back of her hand; Hilde grimaces and downs half her tankard in one long, desperate swig.

Light’s coming in through the window-slats up by the rafters, dull and gold, dust motes in the shafts of it. It makes the white wimple of cloth swaddled hastily around Hilde’s head shine in places.

“Big as the mountain,” she mumbles into the lip of the tankard, fingers wrapped tight around its handle, “black as night - flew right over the barrow like something fit to block out the sun.”

Delphine’s teeth scrape over that spot at the corner of her lip. She can’t help but say, “Are you sure -”

“I know what I saw,” Hilde snaps. Her knuckles and lips are blanched and colourless. Liquid sloshes over the edge of her cup with her sharp, abortive gestures. “I saw a dragon.”

Delphine is very careful not to let her face do anything at all, there.

(It’s adrenaline, she knows; the pointed, muscle-coiled readiness to move - to act - to make a plan in service of a solid end and carry it off perfectly; the comfort of seeing possibility roll out before her like a long many-doored hallway, like a road she might be able to walk instead of these four walls she’s circled for too many years. Innkeeping is decent work - keeps her ear to the ground - keeps her busy in the interim, but it’s not what Delphine does, not what she’s been trained to do; not a purpose, not something to strive for, and oh, Divines -)

(None of this is substantiated. Delphine is not a rash and green youth, not anymore and not again, and she will not start running away with silly fantasies before she’s checked anything at all; she has had her fill of disappointment, and should know better than to invite it - should know better than to start spinning grand plans, before she’s even sent out some missives to the pale cobweb of contacts she has left - over the barrow; west, then - is there a significance, to the barrow? Does she have anything about it in her side room? Nine, it’s times like this she misses the old library and the mad old codger that kept it, and, no. No.)

(Yes.)

“It’ll come back,” Hilde’s saying with fearful certainty; lips flecked with spittle and beer-foam, hands still shaking. “It’ll come back, and it’ll kill us all, and then you’ll believe me -”

“I believe you,” Delphine tells her, and it is inexplicably, regrettably true. (She’s thinking about the library. She’s thinking about the dragonlore. She’s thinking that if dragons are back, someone will have to do something about it - and oh Divines how she has missed being the one to do something about it.)

Her hands are still, but only through some effort.

She feels like she’s been dozing for twenty years and only now has been shocked awake.

Hilde looks at her, white-mouthed and white-scarved; she frowns, a tense, sour thing, and she says doubtfully, “You look like you need a drink.”

Delphine laughs. It’s a short, gruff bark of sound. Her hands are flat on the tabletop; her hair is coming loose in thin wisps from the tight knot at the base of her skull. Sunlight trickles through the windows, golden-fresh. “No,” she says. “No, thank you, Hilde, I'm good."

[project-sekai-takes]

mod im so tired of the haters of the new set . Im genuinely concerned how people are gonna react to kana5's set when it drops [i bet it'll be amazing and people will STILL find a reason to complain nonstop]

-nilfruits anon

.

[the-judicial-assistants-notebook]

I see your tags on the Wocky and Alita art, I would love to hear your thoughts on Alita actually!

I only need one person to show interest in what I have to say for me to talk forever and ever, thank you. HAHA Okay, in seriousness, this won't be as thorough/long as the Klavier post because... there really isn't much to her, but I find it extremely interesting how Alita falls into the same category of witnesses as April May and Dahlia without being — and I mean no offence to her when I say this — stunning? Like, with April and Dahlia, there's a very clear mass appeal to them which most people point out. Contrariwise, Alita's appearance is really only commented on by Trucy, and just glancing at her portrait, you can see that, without her slightly outlandish fashion, she's frankly nothing to write home about.

So why am I discussing this? Surely it's a little reductive to analyse female characters beginning with their appearances? Usually, yes, but that's the thing about this category of witnesses: their pretty faces aren't just pretty faces.

For April and Dahlia, their beauty is part of their arsenal. It functions as both their defence and their weapon of choice; they know how to wield it to bring people under their heel. Alita being ordinarily pretty instead of drop-dead gorgeous deprives her of that weapon and leads you to wonder how she became a mafia heiress to begin with. It also parallels her to Mimi Miney in a way that goes beyond the 'murderous nurse who worked for and killed her awful boss' comparison you get on the surface. Presumably, Alita, like Mimi, only got to where she was because she managed to fool the people around her into believing she was less dangerous than she actually is. Mimi did this by feigning stupidity and inviting people to underestimate her. Alita seems to do this by showing them what they want to see.

When she first meets Apollo and Trucy, Alita stays quiet and spends more time listening to them than she does talking. Once she has a hold on who they are, then she slips into her persona, and I find it interesting how she doesn't even attempt to come across as particularly delicate or lovelorn? Instead she goes for the relatively typical role of a distressed, indulgent loved one earnestly entreating Apollo for help. I'm inclined to say she does this because her read on Apollo makes her realise that he'd likely be exasperated or annoyed by such a person; but it's also almost as if she knows she doesn't have the disposition to pull off that frail, damsel-in-distress archetype and has resigned herself to being ordinary. Like how she looks. The next time she has to reapply her persona, Alita's appearing in court, and again she makes subtle adjustments that best suit her situation. The judge is old, so she takes a chance on expressing her dedication as a wife while balancing her dedication as a righteous citizen, which works. But oddly enough, despite her successes, I don't think Alita is actually good? At donning disguises? Everyone I've seen discuss this case has been able to guess almost immediately that she's the culprit, and maybe we're just prepped by past characters like her that have appeared, but I don't think she's even that convincing in the game.

Both the identities she assumes are risky manoeuvres that happen to fall in her favour, and she's not particularly dedicated to maintaining the front. When she asks Apollo to be Wocky's defence, she admits that marrying him is largely a chance at a more exciting life than some great love story; Plum Kitaki straight up says that there's a darkness in Alita she doesn't like, despite how docile Alita behaves in front of her; and Wocky has moments where he slips up and calls her things like, "imposter" and "fallen angel", implying that at least subconsciously, he knows she's not what she makes herself out to be. Even her general mannerisms don't greatly differ between her actual self and the mask who's blunt her claws — nothing is ever overtly coy or cutesy — and when Apollo brings up the fact she was Wocky's nurse, she drops the facade almost immediately. There's no waffling, no, "Whatever do you mean?"s or, "You're scaring me"s, just the statement, "I don't know what you mean by 'meaning', Mr. Justice!" delivered in a sudden cool, frosted steeliness.

And I think that steel is what really makes her different.

See, the other women are all driven to crime by some defining trait in themselves caused by their circumstances. For Dahlia, it's her desperate need to be free of the Fey clan; for Mimi, it's grief over her sister's unjust death; and for April, it's her fear of Redd White. You don't really get that with Alita. Instead of there being something dark in her life that leads her down this path, she just seems... tired. Tired of being "pretty enough" but not "gorgeous", tired of being the obedient nurse to the corrupt doctor, tired of being ordinary. There's no predatory external force pushing her into a corner, there's no abusive family beliefs pinning her down. There's just an ordinary life, lived dull and ordinarily, and she had had enough. So what does this girl, who's tired and ordinary in every way except the steel that lines her spine, do to get out of this?

She gambles.

Marrying into the mafia was a gamble, seeking Apollo as council was a gamble, shooting Dr. Meraktis was a gamble. Every decision she's made since she met Wocky has been a series of high-stakes gambles that leave her life on the line all so she won't be second-best anymore. This time, she was going to be the one on top. No matter what.

... And I'm sorry for loving evil women, but girlboss?? Girlboss???

I've heard people say they're disappointed that her "breakdown" is just an extension of her usual damage sprite, but it's honestly one of my favourite "breakdowns" in the series ever? Just because it isn't really one? Everything Alita has done up till now has been reckless, calculated risk, of course being convicted for murder is no different than losing in any other aspect of her life. Of course you're not going to get more than her damaged sprite, because this doesn't warrant a more dramatic reaction. She's lived this whole time knowing it could all come crashing down around her, and it finally did.

She made a bad bet. You caught her. Oh well.

The frosted girl of steel, standing tall to the very end. It's kind of sad that, even after all that, she's still seen as only second-best, incomparable to mimi, dahlia or any of the other women who've stood in her place.

[carareblogsthings]

Sorry, still rotating Arcane s2 ep7 in my mind: it only just clicked for me that alt-universe Vi's death in an explosion caused by a dangerous experimental technology she messed with but didn't understand traumatised Powder so much she just fully abandoned inventing........ safer perhaps just to help other people with their ideas and projects, rather than taking the chance on/believing in her own.

[dracimexidae]

Watched the first 2 episodes and the only conclusion i got so far is that Sophie Okonedo is the real true QUEEN and i would gladly submit to her, she doesn't even have to ask ❤️‍🔥👑🧎

[mettywiththenotes]

I need "Eri rewinds the villains conditions" but make it a little complex. I want her to be able to say no, to look at these villains and all they've done and think (ofc from a surface perspective, because she doesn't know the rest, she just knows what she's seen on tv and the panic in the crowds of civilians) that they might use her quirk to their advantage, just like Chisaki did, and hurt people again

I want her to be convinced and reassured (by Aizawa, by her own heroes, by the villains themselves) that they won't do those bad things again, that they've been saved by compassionate heroes who looked underneath the surface and saw what they were really feeling, and I want them to look at this little girl who has so much power and smile and genuinely tell her they won't hurt anyone anymore

"Eri asked to rewind the villains" but make it interesting!

[tinylilvalery]

What's interesting about witnessing the shift in Tom and Shiv's relationship, is that for the first 3 seasons Shiv got to live in comfort of being her father in the relationship. She was in control. She was the emotionally detached one, keeping Tom at a distance from her inner vulnerable self like her father does to her and her siblings, despite Tom always appealing to that side of her, bearing himself and wanting that intimacy. She held all the power, and in holding all the power she felt secure that she wasn't going to be screwed over (like her dad did to her mum) and abandoned (like she felt her mum did to her). She could escape the fucked up divorce her parents had by being the embodiment of power (her father),,, which, like a lot of children of a messy divorce, she wanted to avoid such a thing for herself at all cost, and pride herself on her marriage and choice of partner instead of getting help for the trauma and damage she'd carried since childhood. Shiv was safe. She was secure. Like her dad, she had her own dog to kick to test its loyalty and feel secure and reassured every time that dog came back to her side.

But then the dog did bite back. Tom did betray her. The man she viewed as beneath her, all worshipping, and in her eyes nowhere near as smart as her, outplayed her and betrayed her and won over the approval of the very man that she'd been emulating. And now she's not her father. She's the last person she ever wanted to be. She's her mother. She's the one on the receiving end of Logan through Tom, making the divorce messy and difficult and painful by using the same tactics he did with her mother, something that gets to her easily and makes her extremely upset to the point where she's verging on tears. Tom is the one at Waystar + ATN. Tom is the one saying "uh huh." To her.

She thought that she could escape her mother's fate by being her father. By being cold and distant and emotionally closed off. By being the one who kicked the dog. She let her trauma and fears rule and guide her into making decisions and behaving in harmful ways (to Tom and herself) that she thought would protect her and never let her be hurt. And none of it worked. Because despite it all, she became her mother.

[spitinsideme]

Worst/best movie you've ever watched?

the worst movie that ive ever watxhed was this italian .... movie ? i feel like i cant even classify it as a movue vecause this was like .. weird .. it was called la bonne and i watched it when i was finding as many lesbian movies as possible and this wasnt even .. maybe ir was a bit gay i guess from one of the girls pov ?? i mesn the gayest thing they did is show each other their pussies and then play sexual bdsm style hide and seek ?? i hobestly dont know rhat was crazy it wasnt even gay tjis was like honoerotic undertones that could be read as manipulative and for other reasons that arent rveb gay .. very entertaining in a way

the besr movie ive ever watxhed is like a top three and those top three are carol, carmilla (2019) and my first summer .. mt first summer was jst very adorable and carol has older lesbian women and thats well fucking hot i fucking love that mocie and carmilla 2019 ???? IT WAS A VAMPIRE !!! AND THEY EVEN SHARED A BLOODY KISS LIKE ACTUAL BLOOD !!! wnd that was so hot mygodd .... jesus fucking christ ... thats the best mocie in my opinion i hate the ending si nuch but god it was so hot .. carmilla ..