#SHES A BISASTER

[malaierba]

A cornerstone of the namashuro friendship to me, when I put on my fanwork fanon lenses, is that they're each other's "dude they were FLIRTING with you" backup braincell.

They don't share it, theirs just very rarely turns on when they're in the situation, this would almost be an elegant complementary solution if not for the fact that they're never around the other when their own poor braincell is crashing.

[salemsvlog]

I'll never get over the fact that while being in a date WITH GWEN, Arthur confesses that he dreams of leaving Camelot and just spending the rest of his days in a little cabin WITH MERLIN.

Man really said the most gay shit ever while on a date with a girl he is 100% sure he loves.

That stupidity is bisexual core right there.

[amypihcs]

So i'm dead.

@contact-guy's beautiful comic (i loved it, truly, it killed me.) and watching Hellsing with an offline friend of mine killed me THROUGHLY.

And since i fear i'm figuring out how Holmes and Watson's relationship will evolve into @contact-guy's comic serie i'll curse you with the HCs i made with my dear @i-dont-talk-for-days-on-end today talking about my future drawing of Watson with his loves, Holmes and Mary.

You can probably tell i'm emotionally devastated because my writing is more inconsistent than my usual.

So.

For me is very important that Mary gets treated well, since she exists in canon and is a fantastic woman. And i also love to think that she and Holmes are friends, after all they both love Watson.

My take is, Watson and Mary have kind of a façade marriage based on good friendship and comradeship but without love and generally without sex.

This could work in two ways, both of which are incredibly nice one:

Aroace Mary who needs some sort of social respectability coming from a marriage and got lucky enough to find a man as good and kind as Watson who is more than willing to help her to achieve it without endangering her

Lesbian or Bi Mary in a relationship with a girl, probably her ex employer, could be someone else, who still needs the respectability and stability coming from a marriage and is still lucky enough to find our favourite bisaster, Dr John H. Watson, who is also bisexual and in a relationship with a man and would benefit a lot from the cover of a respectable marriage.

The first one is rather easy to treat. Watson and Mary make good friends during Sign of Four, Holmes notices/guesses that Mary is acespec like him (my Headcanon for Holmes is that he is demigay) and when Watson proposes and she accepts they put immediately straight that it won't be a consummated marriage, ever.

The second one develops in the same way, and this makes so much more explainable the many times Mary is mentioned to be away visiting relatives in canon. Mary is with her partner, Watson is with his partner.

Now angst warning!

Sherlock Holmes looks very favorably upon Watson's marriage, he is in fact the one that pushes Watson into it, and for very good reasons.

Let's put sign of four in 1887, alright? Chances are high he was already pursuing Moriarty, or that he generally was realizing more and more the risk of dying on the job, well, Holmes is a smart man. And a clever, practical and caring one as well. he is a man who loves deeply and cares deeply and wants to always have his affairs in order.

Is it too much of a stretch to imagine that he realizes the higher and higher risk of SOMETHING BAD happening? I don't think so. And he knows that Watson could get caught in the crossfire and he wants of course to protect Watson and offer him some saving net.

He pushes Watson into this marriage that will not mean the end of their relationship but the creation of another meaningful relationship for his love, so that SHOULD I DIE he will have someone to help him weather the storm (would watson care, would he? nobody ever did, but WATSON. Watson cares for everyone... would watson care...). The marriage also means that he will go back into practice, and this is an economic safe net, something always good. Their relationship is of course carefully concealed but such a handsome, sociable, perfect man as Watson is staying unmarried and living with a bachelor friend might give rouse to suspects, marriage will give his incredible partner respectability, something Moriarty or anybody won't dare to attack without sure cards in his hands, and Holmes will make sure NOBODY has any such cards.

Holmes is no coward, but he's not stupid either. He knows his job is dangerous and it might lead to really bad things happening, so he is happy when Watson tells him Mary said yes. He is happy on the morning of the wedding, he is the man who ties Watson's tie and then kisses his lips. He tells his husband to go marry, enjoy his honeymoon and start his life with his wife. And then come back to him, to their rooms and their love. And they both will have tears in their eyes. Holmes will not be at the cerimony, nor will Mary's wife. But they will always support their partners.

Holmes OF COURSE will sulk for a bit, until Scandal in Bohemia. He did what was right, but he still feels lonely. And then Watson comes back. And they're together once more, they're in love and they can break the world apart. And then comes 1890. Watson is a bit more settled down, Holmes has his affairs in order, he can set to the work of his life. And then comes 1891.

Holmes is afraid.

They set fire to their rooms. Home is not safe anymore.

Reichenbach comes.

Holmes is not suicidal, he is terrified. And yet he will once more put Watson's happiness in front of his own. He will not put his husband in front of an impossible choice. He drafts a letter in his head. He leaves it under a silver cigarette case.

He can't imagine he will only see his husband three years later.

His plans worked and failed. But they're back together. Holmes will finally talk. There's a broken window in 221b Baker Street, they're both older, more tired. A bit sad at how things turned out. Mary is dead. Holmes couldn't have forseen that. And yet after some days, after a dinner. Watson will pat the empty spot on his left on the couch, he's still sitting in the center. He will hug Holmes close to his chest, they will remember the times all three of them hugged, Watson and his loves, Mary on the right, Holmes on the left. Holmes on the heart's side, Mary on the reason's side. They will cry. And remember. And be glad for what have been and look forward to what will be.

They're older, more sure of themselves. Watson's status as a widower is respectable enough, he murmurs in the dark. He will only be married to one man for the rest of his life. The following morning, Holmes presents Watson with a French gold coin, for his Watch chain. That will be their ring, their memento.

Years will pass, they will retire, they will always be together, because they never lived, so they can never die. Outside the rain pours and the cabs rattle in the streets.

And it is.

Always.

1895.

Okay, sorry for the immense rant, i have tears streaming down my face, my j'accuse is up in the first lines and it's also my thank you for getting the balls to write this rant on holmes, watson and mary.

[nagy-bari]

bisater couples in fiction

the strongest trope Ranma 1/2 - Tendo Akane and Saotome Ranma - - mutual desire for honesty - friends first, fiancé secondly and please oh please let this chaos end. - self worth issues? Nah just some good old sparring. - what even is being a woman??? - why would you flirt with others and expect me to be jealous? good for you! just let me finish my breakfast in peace. - i love how you fight, but i love when you fight with me. (not against me) - aren't you tired how everyone assumes your choice? don't you wanna go apeshit? don't you wanna choose for yourself??? the small sibling successor of vibes only: Magic Kaito - Nakamori Aoko and Kuroba Kaito. - we know each other too long, i aint lookin at you differently (unless other's do, then imma be mad) - i wouldn't be a silly goose if you wouldn't pick on me - and they think i'm the chaos magnet??? so for the trope you need: - a sweet girl with a healthy dose of family love and self respect that no meany bullies can get through (just those she cares about) - a trickster boy with a (un)healthy dose of curiousity and endless need for approval if you mix it well you'll have a bisaster chaos magnet power couple in your hand that will charm anyone who comes across cause their trust in each other is a bond everyone craves in their soul. so both readers and fictional characters will do everything to get their secret, to be included in their little chaotic world.

[ghostoevsky]

[growup-thatbeautiful]

can’t him out of my head, so bullet proof tan headcannons about when jovie was first born

he was absolutely terrified to hold her. like, you had to convince him that he wasn’t going to hurt her.

the first time he actually does hold her, though, you can tell that something inside him changes. you can see, all at once, how it clicks in his mind that he’s a father now. this is his baby girl, his daughter. the only blood he has.

in that moment, he’s wearing a plain white hoodie and some sweats, way more dressed down that usual, and his curls are all over the place. they fall over his eyes and he looks at jovie in wonder and in awe.

as soon as she’s asleep, he’s scooting an uncomfortable plastic hospital chair close enough to your bed and telling you about how happy he is.

“she’s so fucking little, love. i swear, she’s a whole ray of sunshine by herself.”

there’s no way he’s letting her out of his sight after that. anywhere she does, he does too. you’re busy, then he’s got her.

he worries literally all the time about her. if she’s not wearing socks, he’s worried that she’s going to catch a cold. if she’s wearing a hat, he’s worried that she’s hot.

lemon comes to visit you in the hospital and he’s absolutely enamored with jovie the moment he meets her. he can make her smile easier than anyone else from the beginning.

he also brings her a little thomas the tank engine stuffed toy that has a special place on her shelf

when jovie can’t sleep, you take turns on who wakes up to get her, and when it’s his turn you can head through the monitor that he sings her to sleep

in a low voice that’s shaky but not uncomfortable, he sings lullabies

if he’s not going that, he’s just telling her how much he loves her in a soothing voice, holding her cradled in his arms

it gets harder and harder for him to leave for jobs, especially longer ones. every time, though, he comes back with a trinket or a postcard to add to her shelf

it’s a growing collection of places that he promises to take her one day and you get to watch as he carefully places each item in its perfect spot after showing it to jovie (who couldn’t care less at the time, but it will grow to be one of her favorite things)

you can’t count the number of times you’ve found him fast asleep on the couch, jovie ticked against his chest, the two people who mean the most to you so peaceful and content

:)

taglist loves: @venusthepirate @shadows-of-nyx @syd-vixious @thefloatingpickle @sallyp-53 @fictionalcomforts @s-hanster @the-bisaster @phoenixhits @wee-little-mouse @cupofstarss @eefos @slut-f0r-u @kpopgirlbtssvt

[witches-and-weirdos]

“I like to think I’m smart. But there is a lot of debate for super intelligent. Also who is Svalek.

"Svalek's my familiar and wonderful friend! Say hi Svalek!"

"H E L L O"

"Hmm, a few of those missing ones are quite important though..." She's supposed to be an enemy of the undead, she's trying but Queenie is hot and scoring high, Gods save this bisaster!

[bisexual-coala]

Not a questions really. But just wanted to let you know, that I've finally started to watch the Harley Quinn series. I'm only 3 episodes in but I totally love it so far. You were basically my gateway to the show. Was not on my radar at all. So thanks for the new ship <3

Harley is such a bisaster, I love her. And I would die and kill for Ivy. She is such a mood.

Aww yay <3 I am so glad that you started watching it!!! I'm just doing my part in spreading the agenda of the bisexual queens Harlivy <33

I know right! She's THE bisexual disaster ever! Ivy is so relatable fr. Also we got season 5 announced recently!! So we have much to look forward to!

I'd love to hear more of your thoughts!!

[fayesdiary]

Rhea for the character ask game!

How I feel about this character

FGFDFHIGFKJH Love her so much. Among my favorite FE characters ever. Neither the game nor the fandom deserved her.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

...You know, I just realized I don't think I actively ship her with anyone. I like Rhea/Catherine but I'm not a diehard shipper for them, and... I dunno.

I like bisaster Rhea, but I guess I haven't found a pair yet that makes me go "this is it, this is the one!" Which is fine. I mean, there's much more to a character than shipping, even if fandoms often forget it.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

With Bernie, of course! I'm writing a whole fic abut them, after all!

My unpopular opinion about this character

I mean. Having Rhea as your fave is pretty unpopular already, but aside from that... uh. I don't ship Rhealeth.

Dunno, I just don't vibe with it and I'm lowkey annoyed most Rhea fics are about it. Does that count?

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

That she actually got the spotlight and wasn't relegated to either the red herring, the damsel in distress or the last chapter loredump.

Rhea deserved so much better, man.

[newsiesgirl]

Nicole Singer- Hyur, Midlander ♀️ (bi/poly) in Kaleidoscope (friend's rp fc) - An Idol and Model who loves to help those who are struggling. Very sweet and very flirty. Raised from poverty in Limsa Lominsa. Main jobs: Bard and Dancer Story Progress: 2.0 finished Current partners (using this loosely): Constantine, Hyal (unwillingly), Mayv ((all of these characters are my friends characters, the first two being from @halcyonlioness)) Past partner: Meteor

My chaotic bisaster. She is my version of Meteor, kinda.

[mhaywardwrites]

Writer’s Quandary

I just had an editorial assessment of my manuscript completed and I have a gay dilemma. By that, I do not mean I have a fun dilemma. Not a ‘do I really need to tuck my jumpers into my jeans just to prove I’m a bisaster’ dilemma. I have gay characters throwing rainbow confetti over my serious WWI psychological drama.

My book focuses on three brothers. I inadvertently made one of them gay. It was not intentional, he just came out that way like any other baby. A minor character also ended up being gay because I don’t like my boys being lonely.

I tried my darndest to reign in the romance for three main reasons:

Lack of historical information about LGBTQIA+ communities during WWI. I have a background in history. This is a work of fiction but oof my heart is covered in elbow patches and being inaccurate tears the seams apart.

WWI books and films often add romantic subplots (and it would be a subplot) to lighten the war front sections. I don’t want it to be a cliché.

For the sake of THE PLOT™, one of them has to die for the ending to make sense. I hate the “bury your gays” trope with passion, even though I also love angst.

My editor came back and apparently the tension is still there. She suggested I either remove the minor character completely or lean in and make them have a torrid love affair in the middle of the deadliest war in human history. I have to do a whole rewrite anyway, so the workload isn’t an issue.

The three issues above is the issue.

So, people of Tumblr. Please, for the love of all that is good and rainbow covered help me make this decision.

[darckcarnival]

Dash game! Character information.

Legal Name: Darck Eve Nickname(s): Creeper, Momster, Bats Date of Birth: 25th of December, 1979 Gender: Female Currently Living: On base at Hells Pit. Doesn't actually have a home of her own... Very much a homeless drifter for a chunk of her life. Spoken Languages: English, Spanish, Latin, German, Russian, Japanese, Chinese, Hispanic, and many more as well as several dead languages. (her vampiric nature may have cheated some of these...) Education: Public schooling until death and turned, Tutors there after, Homeschooloed. Taught university and college courses. Then self taught in many more. No PHD's but could probably get one (has been tempted). Darck loves learning.

Hair Color: Brunette Eye Color: Brown (deep hazel), turns red in certain moments Height: 5'5" Weight: 139 pounds, without her coat.

Sibling(s): Two older brothers once, one left and never came back when she was a child, the other still with family. Her family believes Darck dead, best to stay that way. CURRENTLY! Has adoptive brother in Chris. Parents(s): Dale Winston (Missing since the 80's), Lee Hayes (Alive) Children: None of her own, but has adopted several children and raised them. Pet(s): None, but has a familiar named Vel

Sexual Orientation: Pan (used to be Bi, a Bisaster if you will.) Relationship Status: Usually single, but verse dependant. (She is Poly and keeps open communication.)

Tagged by: No one I stole it from @godstrain Tagging: YOU WHO SEES THIS

[amypihcs]

A chance for late Captain John Watson to show his qualities!

Hello hello! Here we are with another letter from Dr Watson!

Our lad is nothing but a stubborn man and one of common sense so he's following on his resolution to enquire on Mrs Laura Lyons, of course!

And of course, it makes more sense to go alone and not with Sir Henry. The reasoning is sound and so Watson plans to rely on his natural advantages!

And then again yields to the disadvantage of being an allosexual bisaster.

Watson, staring at her with the expression of a boiled fish WON'T HELP!

Start your brain again, will you, darling? You know the story! How could you think that she would take such an introduction kindly!

Still, you saved it in corner. But she's made of the same stuff her sire is made of, careful!

Watson of course immediately starts bombarding her with questions

She is more than right in answering that way, i would've jumped at his throat.

Still the scandal one always seems like a good save!

Questions go on and Watson of course puts her one intelligent question.

BUUUUT she's also clever. Unfortunately she can't deny!

VERY VERY SUSPICIOUS.

Of course, if victorians could work with some less mental gymnastics around men meeting women a lot of stuff would be fixed...

Well, she can put together a nice story however... So this seems another dead end and Watson turns to his other target. The man watching him at night!

Look at the boy! He's so so excited to be able to succeed where he and holmes had failed!

Luck wants, he meets Frankland! And Frankland in a chatty mood!

Blabla - stuff- complaining - bragging - and then!

That's a crime, and not a victimless one. But what ARE they dying to know?

AH. yyyyeah.

his food. play dumb watson

NOT THAT DUMB! No, okay, this actually is common sense! And they actually manage to see the child with the telescope!

Watson takes his leave and then proceeds to GO INVESTIGATE!

DAMN! he isn't in! Well, now we wait!

Watson of course examines the hut and finds evidence of him being the one being dogged! WELL WELL, NOW HE'S MUCH MORE DETERMINED.

Here he is!

HOLMES?!

We'll see if it's really Holmes in the next episode!

[topsyturvy-turtely]

I posted 3,154 times in 2022

That's 3,090 more posts than 2021!

141 posts created (4%)

3,013 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@helloliriels

@loki-lock

@safedistancefrombeingsmart

@justanobsessedpan

@musingsofmyown

I tagged 2,195 of my posts in 2022

Only 30% of my posts had no tags

#johnlock - 611 posts

#bbc sherlock - 453 posts

#sherlock - 428 posts

#john watson - 366 posts

#sherlock holmes - 295 posts

#sherlock x john - 169 posts

#johnlock fanart - 151 posts

#martin freeman - 135 posts

#sherlock fanart - 135 posts

#benedict cumberbatch - 125 posts

Longest Tag: 121 characters

#am i funny? cringy? funny but in a cringe way? yeah probably funny cringy way... nah probably just cringy... in any case:

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

okay so we all want BBC SHERLOCK S5 right???

and imho it needs to involve:

- A JOHNLOCK KISS!!!! (one that ~actually~ happens irl and not just in the mind palace or the like...)

-HUDDERS NOT BEING DEAD (seriously she is the soul of johnlock and she deserves better than to die. let her go on vacation or something... saw that post a few days ago)

-AND HARRY WATSON PRETTY PLEASE!!! (in a happy way. where john and her rebuild their relationship. also... maaaayyybbee bcs i'm a tiny bit in love with her)

-MORE (happy!) JOHNLOCK

154 notes - Posted February 23, 2022

#4

how john watson found his heart again

[sequel to how john watson lost his heart ]

it's been two years since i've lost my heart.

two years of grief. two years of being lost. two years of darkness.

but it's okay, i've found her. she gave me a new heart.

it's not the same as my own but it does its job: it gave me life. it keeps me alive.

but suddenly you are back.

short version: not dead.

and you present me my long lost heart on a serving tray.

with your fake glasses, your fake mustache, your fake accent.

but my real heart.

right there in front of me.

abruptly i stand up. trying to hold back my anger.

alright. john. i'm suddenly realizing that i probably owe you some sort of an apology-

fist against the table.

two years.

keep it together, watson, i tell myself.

two years.

but how can i?

when the only reason to live is right there in front of me.

when the one reason i almost died myself was right there in front of me.

i thought-

not in the restaurant, watson.

i thought you were dead.

i died too that day. i have lost my heart that day. the day you died.

now you let me grieve...

i grieved for you, i grieved for my heart.

how could you do that?

HOW?!

See the full post

182 notes - Posted May 27, 2022

#3

"JOHNLOCKed in a Closet"

- now on Ao3!!!

[cover art by @topsyturvy-turtely DO NOT REPOST]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M, F/F

Fandom: Sherlock (TV)

Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson; Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade; Harry Watson/Original Female Character; Sherlock Holmes & Mrs. Hudson & John Watson; Harry Watson & John Watson; Sherlock Holmes & Greg Lestrade

Characters: Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, Mrs. Hudson (Sherlock Holmes), Mycroft Holmes, Greg Lestrade, Harry Watson, Original Female Character(s)

Additional Tags: Fluff, Mrs. Hudson Ships It, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Johnlock - Freeform, Locked In, Trapped In A Closet, John is a Mess, John The Bisaster, Sherlock Holmes Has Feelings, Harry the gay advisor, Confused John, Soft Sherlock, Sassy John, Shy Sherlock, References to Canon, Case Fic, okay mostly it's fluff but anygays..., STILL THERE IS A CASE

Summary: Mrs. Hudson is done. Sherlock Holmes and John Watson are just two silly little lovebirds who need to be locked together in a room until they can finally admit their feelings for each other! So this is EXACTLY what she does. And what room could be more fitting than a closet...?

Chapters: 15/15 (plus a dedication)

Originally published on Wattpad with the username "turtely". (21,6K views, 817 votes, 5K comments - status August 30th 2022)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40776522?view_full_work=true

204 notes - Posted August 4, 2022

#2

He really just needed a kiss...

John hated it. He utterly and truly hated it. He despised himself for it. It was going on his nerves. In fact it annoyed the fucking SHIT out of him.

That stupid, always present, torturing urge to be kissed.

It was plain out ridiculous. But he couldn't help it. He wanted- needed that kind of body contact. Where one was taller, the other smaller. Where one was the bold and made the decisive move. Where your heart stops and your breath catches and-

John put the tea pot down with too much force so the china chinked. He grabbed the newspaper off the table with an emphasis that really wasn't necessary and he walked over to his armchair with a frown on his face and heaviness in his steps.

He dropped into the chair and scowled at the news. He felt like a teenager, which dropped his mood even more.

"You're annoyed.", his flatmate Sherlock, eyes closed hands steepled under his chin, his legs half up half down, stated. And it made John even more grumpy. Because look at this arsehole! With his damn hair and annoying face and stupid athletic body he wouldn't struggle AT ALL finding someone to kiss him. Not that he would care for such mundane things.

"Yes.", there was no point in denying it, John decided but hid his face behind the newspaper again.

"Why?"

Behind the safety of the newspaper John rolled his eyes. "I just am."

Sherlock opened his eyes and leaned forward, "That's ridiculous every human emotion has its origin in a deeper-"

"Oh for fuck's sake. You of all people lecturing me about human emotions is really not a to-do-thing for today, okay?!"

Sherlock sat up and John - even behind the paper - felt his studying gaze on him and the irritation inside him flamed up even more. "Stop staring.", he grumbled

Sherlock tilted his head - eyes still fixed on his flatmate. He leaned forward, pushing the newspaper down and the sudden proximity made John uneasy.

"Ever heard of personal space?"

"Of course.", Sherlock said and invaded John's.

"Then why are you in mine?"

"Because you want it."

"I want- what?"

"You wanna be close to someone.", Sherlock said, both hands on either side of his armchair now.

"No", John awkwardly fixed his sitting position. "I think I am good. Go back to your seat, Sherlo-"

But then Sherlock's lips were on his and John froze. It was just a hint of a kiss. It was nothing really. He could back off and then they could just-

He put his hand on the back of Sherlock's neck and his hand barely touched his side. He hesitantly kissed him back and then Sherlock's lips pecked John's lightly. Sherlock opened his mouth and John sucked on the other man's lower lip. John (or more his libido) decided he'd go a bit further and used his teeth to tease. When Sherlock gasped, John pulled back quickly.

"Oh. Wow. I didn't- didn't expect to happen.", he said, Sherlock still hovering above him. His eyes were fluttering open and then stared into John's. There was something in his gaze that made John wanna hug him tight.

Sherlock straightened up and fixed his perfectly cuffed cuffs on his shirt. That heated look was completely gone. There was no evidence of what had just happened, except ,maybe, that John's trousers were a tad bit tighter than before.

Still uselessly fumbling with his cuffs (with elegant, slim fingers), Sherlock finally looked up. And with his look came a wall, being built brick by brick between them. "You needed stimulation. I gave you that. I hope you feel better now.", Sherlock said matter-of-factly, finally letting his cuffs alone, rolling his shoulders once. With four long strides he was at the hook with his belstaff, put it on with one swift movement and opened the door. "I'll be out. No need to wait up."

And John was being left behind. Completely stunned. He still felt lips on his own, still felt breath creeping over his jaw, still saw a heated look that John felt like had burnt him.

With a deep breath he heaved himself up, the newspaper forgotten on John's lap, flew to the floor. John needed tea. While the water boiled, John thought about what Sherlock had said. That he had offered him stimulation and that he hoped John felt better now. And he did, definitely, feel better but there was a tuck inside him that made him frown.

See the full post

256 notes - Posted August 22, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

sherlock: I KNOW!!!

john: you know what?

sherlock: i know what the H stands for!

john: *pinching the bridge of his nose* sherlock can you just dro-

sherlock: john hedgehog watson

john: ...

sherlock: ... :)

398 notes - Posted October 18, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[lix-ables]

I'm sorry but what the fuck is wrong with your family/parents for letting a RANDON FUCKING STRANGER into your house and sleep on their daughter's bed so that she has nowhere to sleep. not to mention that dude could be a serial killer for all they know? what the actual fuck? what about the general concern for your wellbeing 😭

- bisaster 🥟

sigh they don't know him either but GOOD THING IS he's gone finally omg kwhdne

[growup-thatbeautiful]

For Bullet Proof maybe you could write something where Tan and the reader do like a small little ceremony of just like them, Jovie, and Lemon where they get remarried

SHIT OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH i’m literally rewatching bullet train rn this is fucking insane. pls anon i pledge my full love to you 💕💕

Word Count: 3.8k

Taglist: @venusthepirate @shadows-of-nyx @syd-vixious @thefloatingpickle @sallyp-53 @fictionalcomforts @s-haa @the-bisaster @phoenixhits @wee-little-mouse @cupofstarss @eefos @slut-f0r-u @lotustv

Bullet Train Masterlist

This takes place as part of the Bullet Proof Series!

oh, i'm falling in love again

It’s bedtime for Joive, a nightly routine that, over time, you’ve perfected down to the minute. You wash the dishes from dinner, mostly because Tangerine’s usually the one who cooks, while he gets Jovie into her pajamas and brushes her teeth. By the time you’re done, most of the time Tangerine and Jovie are in her bedroom, reading a book together, waiting for you. First, you say goodnight to Jovie and then it’s Tangerine’s turn. Tonight, he’s wearing a worn black t-shirt that, more nights than not, you end up stealing from him. The grey sweatpants that adorn his long legs have also seen better days, but the fact that Tangerine’s comfortable enough to be comfortable with you is heartwarming on its own. 

It’s been like this ever since you got your life with Tangerine back almost a year ago.

And what a year it's been. Of course, there are hard times. Tangerine still has to go on missions, you still worry yourself to tears when he doesn’t come home on time, and Jovie misses him like no other when he’s gone. On days when you’re both working it’s absolutely miserable, leaving Jovie with whoever you trust enough at the time to take care of her. Unfortunately, most of the time when Tangerine is working, Lemon is too, so your options are limited. 

But you wouldn’t change it for anything, especially not when you get to watch Tangerine say goodnight to your Jovie in his own special way. 

“Daddy?” Jovie’s sleepy voice filters through the air, matching the white curtains that float through the air with the wind billowing through the open window. Her hair pillows around her head as she lays in her bed, covers pulled up around her chest. The lavender walls around her cast a sweet glow over the room, a haze you could get lost in and have gotten lost in many times. It’s its own little world, the three of you undisturbed by whatever mission file is sitting on the kitchen table. 

Tangerine is laying on his side next to Jovie on the bed, and you’re standing in the doorway, leaning against the wooden frame. “Yeah, love?” Tangerine responds, turning his full attention to the little girl. 

In her arms, Jovie holds her stuffed bear tighter to her chest and curls up closer to Tangerine. “What’s it like to be in love?” 

“What’s it like to be in love?” Tangerine repeats slowly. He glances over at you for a second, and you offer a shrug. Jovie comes home with the strangest things from school, so you’ve learned just to go with it. With a nod, Jovie continues looking at Tangerine with her wide eyes.“It’s like a warm hug.” Tangerine’s voice is fond as he wraps Jovie in his arms, her giggling filling the space between them. 

When he lets go, Jovie asks another question, curiosity in her voice. “Do you love Uncle Lemon?” 

“Uncle Lemon’s a twat,” Tangerine says matter-of-factly, twirling a lock of Jovie’s hair and brushing it hair out of her face. “But yes, I love Uncle Lemon. He’s my brother.” 

Jovie looks at you leaning against the doorway. “Do you love Mommy?” Instinctively, you glance at Tangerine, who’s looking right back at you, his grey-blue eyes piercing into yours, in the gentle way he can somehow manage. 

“I love your mom more than I ever thought I could love anyone else,” Tangerine admits softly, his eyes not leaving yours. 

“How did you know you loved her? Did your heart give you a hug?” 

“Yeah, Jovie-love, my heart told me. It ain’t easy to listen to your heart, but when you know you love someone, you want to be with them forever.” 

“So you marry them,” Jovie stares, an excited look in her eyes. “Like you married Mommy.”

“That’s right, Jovie-love.” There’s the softest smile on Tangerine’s face, and you’re certain that there’s a matching one on yours. Jovie’s been through a lot, but the fact that she’s able to now live with so much love in her life tells you that it’s all been worth it.

Jovie yawns widely and leans further into her pillows. “I think it’s time to go to sleep now,” Tangerine laughs. Carefully, he places a gentle kiss on her forehead and untangles his limbs before walking over to you and kissing you chastely on your lips. “I swear to God, next time Jovie starts asking those questions, I’m fucking walking out. Who the fuck is telling our girl about being in love.”

“Yeah,” you sigh, running your hands across his chest. “It’s such a shame that our daughter knows how much her parents love each other. Unacceptable.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” he responds, his arms wrapping around your waist as he pulls you through the hallway and to your bedroom. “It ain’t right. She’s too young to fuck about with that stuff.” 

You hum non-committedly and Tangerine kisses you, your back against the wall. “I know.” 

Tangerine’s head finds a home in the crook of your neck and your hands automatically run through his hair in soothing motions. “You can’t help but protect her, Tan. It’s your nature to protect the people you love.”

“She’s getting older so much faster than I thought it would happen. I mean, for fuck’s sake, it feels like it was just yesterday that she was learning to walk.” Tangerine’s words are spoken into the cotton of your t-shirt, reverent and reminiscing. You can’t help the memories that flood your mind of the growth Jovie’s gone through over the years.

“Remember when she used to wrap her hand around your finger? She was so fucking tiny,” you recall fondly, leaning your head back against the wall. Tangerine lends heavily against you, the wall supporting you both. “She seemed so fragile then, like she would break at any movement.” You remember the feeling well when Jovie was like a little porcelain doll who would shatter if you put her down too roughly. 

“Not anymore,” Tangerine proudly admits. “Not our girl. Tough as nails, that one. She’s going to give the world hell. I think she gets that from you.”

“Let’s say it’s from both of us,” you suggest. “She’s going to turn out alright, I think. She’s got a pretty good dad.” 

“Don’t sell yourself short, love.” Tangerine raises his head and looks at you, brown hair falling into his face. “You might have a little bit to do with Jovie’s success.”

“Wow,” you reply, sarcasm dripping from your voice, “Thanks, Tan. It’s good to feel appreciated.”

As you push off of the wall, Tangerine laughs and winks at you, grabbing your hand and following you into the bedroom. “I told you at our wedding that I would never let a compliment moment go by, didn’t I?” 

“Do you ever think about it?” you ask, sitting on the edge of the bed and watching as Tangerine places his rings in the tray on his side table. “Our wedding?”

“Of course I do, love,” he answers easily, sitting down next to you, his hand resting on your thigh. “It was a fucking disaster.” 

“It wasn’t that bad,” you argue, flopping back against the mattress and bringing him with you. He lays next to you and grabs your hand, his fingers linking with yours, resting them on his stomach where his shirt rides up. 

You can feel his gaze on the side of your face, his raised eyebrows and judging eyes. “Darling, the room was literally on fire. I think that counts as a disaster.” 

“Yeah, but we have a fucking good story to tell.” Your eyes meet his and you can’t help but smile that one smile that you have reserved just for him and Jovie. The one that breaks down all your walls. 

“That it is,” Tangerine agrees. Then, sitting up on his elbows, he leans over you and asks, “Do you know what Jovie asked me the other day?” “What’s that?” you question, grinning as Tangerine traps you under him, his hands next to your head. 

“She asked me if we were still married.” Despite the light tone he uses, you can see the worry on Tangerine's face; the crease of his eyebrows, and the concern in his eyes.

After a moment's pause, you respond uncertainly, “We…are, right? I mean, just because we weren’t together for a little while-”

“-more than a little while,” Tangerine interrupts quickly, his eyebrows raised at you. “It was almost two fucking years without you.”

“Right,” you agree. “We weren’t together for two years, but I’m still your wife and you’re still my husband, yeah?” Your hand comes up to cup Tangerine’s face in your palm, tracing over his features. You know them by heart, even though they’ve changed over the years. He has a hairline scar above one of his eyebrows, and the lines around his eyes are more defined, but he’s still the same man you fell in love with. You could still find him out of anyone else.

“That’s what I think. It ain’t like we got an official divorce.” Tangerine searches your face for approval, which you readily give with a nod. He takes a deep breath before he continues. “I have an idea.”

“Yeah?” You try to soothe him by bringing him closer to you when you read the nerves that flow through his body, the tension that thrums underneath his skin and your hands. “What it is?” 

“I want to marry you again.” There’s surety and strength in his voice that wasn’t there before, strength that he draws from you. 

You’re not positive that you heard him right. “You what?” Softer, this time, he says, “I want to marry you again. I want you to walk down a rose-petal aisle while music plays in the background and Jovie stands next to me. I want to see Lemon cry like he always does at weddings, and I want to see you in a white dress looking like a fucking angel. I want to retell the world that you’re mine, and I want you to want the same thing.”

“Tan,” you say because you’re at a loss for any other words. “You really want that?”

“Of course I do, love. Do you?”

“Yes,” you laugh, “Yes, I do.” Unable to contain your joy, you bring Tangerine’s face down to meet yours in a crushing, crashing kiss.Tangerine follows your lead easily, his hair brushing against your forehead as he kisses you, his legs finding their way in between your own. 

“Love,” he mutters, “I can’t fucking wait for you to be my wife again.”

~*~

As it turns out, planning a wedding is harder than you remember it being. Somehow, in the fog of memories from your first wedding, you forgot how much trouble it was to arrange all the details. After multiple breakdowns, mostly on your end, you two decide that a small ceremony without much pomp is the best decision for you. Jovie and Lemon are really the only ones that you need there, and, you figure, fancy things were for your first wedding. Jovie was the only one who had requested, once she heard about the plan, and they were simple things. She wanted a matching dress with you and to be the flower girl, which are easy enough to figure out. 

Your dress choice, influenced by Jovie, is flowing and white, with sleeves that lay off your shoulders and gold-accented jewelry, to match Tangerine’s rings and necklace. Tangerine decides to wear his trademark suit, a dark blue jacket and vest with a striped lighter blue dress shirt underneath. His hair, like usual, is slicked back, the ends curling around his ears endearingly. 

The flower petals are even easier to find, and Jovie chooses wine-colored rose petals to match the lipstick that you wear and the color of Lemon’s dress shirt. 

Your choice of location is the most simple of all: your backyard, underneath the stars, just like when Tangerine proposed. The porch light isn’t exactly the most romantic of lighting or locations, but the way you’re able to feel safe from harm's way is irreplaceable. And, it didn’t take long to set up either, which is a win with your busy schedules. 

You’re fixing the collar of Jovie’s dress while Lemon and Tangerine get ready next to you, and Jovie fidgets with the basket of petals in her hands. “Mommy?”

“Yes, baby?” you respond, moving to her hair. Lemon helped you do it in some style that you have no clue how to do, a braided bun that makes her look a lot older than five years. 

“I need to go get my bear. He wouldn’t want to miss this.”

“Okay, love. I think I saw him in the living room on the couch,” you reply, patting Jovie’s cheek before she runs to get her bear. 

“Let’s fucking do this, yeah?” Lemon says when she’s gone. “Second time’s the charm, that’s what I always say.” There’s affection in his voice, along with the exasperation that’s only possible between brothers. 

“Fuck off, you prick,” Tangerine responds, fixing the lapels of his jacket. “And don’t bring up some Thomas the Tank shit, yeah?”

“If Thomas can’t tell you about love, no one can,” Lemon argues. “There’s no one better to talk about than Thomas when vows are exchanged. Plus, it would make Jovie happy.”

“He’s got you there, love,” you laugh. “If there’s anyone who would appreciate Thomas at our wedding besides Lemon, it’s Jovie.” Tangerine’s eyes narrow as he looks between the two of you. “I’m not a fan of you two ganging up on me.” 

“Funny, I was going to say the opposite,” Lemon cheerily adds.

“Lighten up, bruv. It’s only once you get married to a girl like her.” The laughter in Lemon’s eyes doesn’t humor Tangerine, but you can tell he’s not really upset by the way he rolls his eyes and raises his eyebrows. 

“I can still uninvite you,” Tangerine threatens, leaning against the brick wall. 

“No you can’t,” you say. “Not on my watch.” Tangerine looks at you, unimpressed, but you can see past the false mask of disinterest. 

“At least let me tell you how fucking beautiful you look,” he asks, a suggestive smile on his face. “Because, after all this time, you still manage to look like an angel.”

“And that’s my cue to fuck off,” Lemon snips. “You two are fucking gross.” Just like he always does, Lemon is able to make you grin.

“So I can’t even compliment my wife? What would Thomas say, Lemon?” Tangerine asks, tilting his head to the side. “There’s no episode on separated assassin couples who left in the middle of the night where they get remarried and their smartass brother gets whacked on the head.” 

“No,” Lemon says shortly. “There’s no episode like that, which you would know if you ever watched with me.” 

“Yeah, Daddy,” Jovie says with her hands on her hips. “You never watch Thomas with us.” 

“That’s because it’s a kids show, love,” Tangerine responds apologetically, sweeping her up into his arms. “And since when did you start taking Uncle Lemon’s side against me? He’s turned both of my girls against me.” Jovie’s shrieks of laughter fill the air as Tangerine flips her upside down and tickles her, while you and Lemon watch fondly from the sidelines. 

“I think it’s time to get this over with, then,” Lemon chimes in, “So my favorite niece and I can watch ourselves some Thomas, right Jo?” He’s met with enthusiastic cheers from Jovie, and Tangerine puts her back onto her feet. 

You hand Jovie her basket of flower petals and she takes it gladly in one of her hands, the other faithfully occupied with her teddy bear. 

Jovie tosses flower petals in the air, and they float down around her, white silk landing in her curls that shake with her giggles. Something soft is playing in the background, with a gentle, dreamlike piano melody that you can’t help but close your eyes to for a moment. 

And, for that moment, you take a deep breath, letting memories wash over you. Everything, every choice, every heartbreak, has led you here, with Jovie and Lemon and Tangerine all surrounding you, the only family you really need.

You see flashes of life before you got married when Tangerine brought you dog-eared copies of his favorite books and you faithfully didn’t ask questions when he came home covered in blood. He didn’t ask you either, and it worked out, somehow. 

You see the night he proposed to you, the twinkling stars that slipped behind clouds while he got down on one knee and asked you to be his. How young you had been, how happy, how carefree. 

You see your wedding, the white dress you wore that matched Tangerine’s, and the white flower in the lapel of his jacket. Lemon had been the only other person there, which isn’t so different this time, but you have Jovie with you this time. That had been at the beginning of Tangerine’s newfound wealth at his job, and you had been quick to spend as much as you could justify on a dress. You have absolutely no clue where that dress is today, but you wouldn’t have worn it again today anyway. It carries too many bad memories, too much potential for a bad future.

You see when you first told Tangerine that you were pregnant, the panic took over your life before the pair of you, and Lemon, settled into acceptance and cautious expectance. Yes, you had been sick for almost three months straight and then you had been too big to do anything else, but you had also been happy and so excited to meet your baby girl. The day Jovie was born, Tangerine had been on a job, which he and Lemon immediately left to come be with you. 

All these things, that make up the puzzle of your past, float through your mind before you settle back in the moment. 

Jovie’s petals hit the ground and she looks towards you, her smile wide and her eyes brimming with excitement. When you reach your hand out, Jovie comes to you. 

There’s no priest or any other religious figure; both of you agreed it was an unnecessary addition. You’re already married, this is just to recement that fact, for yourselves and for Jovie.

More than anything else, it’s a fresh start. A new chapter. You’re moving forward, not forgetting to look back at what got you here in the first place. 

So, without much ado, you walk towards your husband as he stands up straighter and instinctively reaches out for you. 

“Love, at this point there’s not much I think I could say that you don’t already know, but I think it’s probably worth trying. I know there’s not a lot I can say to make this any more special than it was the first time, other than the fact that I started looking at you one time on a crowded London train and I haven’t stopped looking at you since then. You are truly my sun, my moon, my stars, and every comfort that I never had before you. Not only have you given me your love, but you’ve also given me a daughter who I would die for, I would kill for, I would live for. There’s- there’s nothing I can say to thank you enough for that and everything else you do for me other than I love you so much, so fucking much, excuse my language, Jovie.” Somehow, Jovie can sense the importance of the moment, because she nods and looks at you for your words. You take his hand in yours and hold them in front of you.

“Tan, you and Lemon, for a long time, were the only people I trusted enough to feel anything around,” you start, emotion clogging your voice. “ Then, I realized how much you actually meant to me, as more than a friend, and I had so many chances to screw everything up, a few of which I took. I’ve fumbled my way through raising Jovie, and I’ve fumbled my way through us. But you’ve also given me every chance to come back into your arms, my home more than anything else, and I love that about you. I love that you swear too much and steal things, and you pick Jovie up from school when I’m not up to it and put her to bed every night. You are the father of my child and the only person I would ever want to raise my family with.” Tangerine cups your cheek in his hand and wipes away your tears with his thumb, looking at you like you’re something precious, like you don’t have a bloodstained past. 

“Jovie-love, could you come here?” The two of you decided, instead of exchanging rings for each other, it would be more worth your time to get something for Joive. After all, you already have a wedding ring from him, and it still fits you just fine. It's from a simpler time, an easier time, a time without Jovie, but a time when you were just as in love with him as you are now. Tangerine has his too, and you don't know if he ever stopped wearing it. You usually had yours with you, even when you weren't with him, whether it was around a chain on your neck or in your back pocket.

Tangerine asks softly. “We have something for you.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a golden necklace, the same shape as his with the same type of jewel from your wedding band. How he managed it, you don’t know, but it doesn’t matter, not when Jovie’s face lights up at the sight of it. 

“This is a very special present, baby,” you explain to her, crouching beside Tan to be at her level. “You’re going to have to take good care of it, but Daddy and I think you’re old enough.” 

“Would you look at that, Jo,” Lemon says lightly. “That’s one good-looking necklace, isn’t it? Do you think you could get one for me?”

Jovie smiles and shakes her head before putting the necklace on with Tangerine’s help. It’s too big, but she’ll grow into it. If she’s anything like her father, she’ll never take it off. 

And you kind of hope she’s everything like her father.