#SERIOUSLY I JUST GOOGLED DOG CAKES AND IT CAME UP

[sheerfreesia007]

Fallin’ All In You (Pt. 59)

Title: Fallin’ All In You (Pt. 59)

Pairing: Agent Whiskey x Reader

Author: @sheerfreesia007​​

Words: 2,549

Warnings: Fluff

Tags: @synystersilenceinblacknwhite​, @two-unbeatable-beaters​, @randomness501​, @sevvysaurus​, @paryl​, @talesfromtheguild​, @secretsihideinside​, @agingerindenial​, @mrschiltoncat​

Permanent Tag List: @paintballkid711​, @fioccodineveautunnale​

Author Notes: I apparently like writing about cake? I googled these combos so please don’t rage at me for this, I’m not a cake person. Just a cute little piece. The next few parts are going to be more Tequila geared as we move forward towards the wedding! I don’t know about this one. Feedback is always appreciated!

Gif Credit: Pinterest

         “So Tequila is going to meet us there at the bakery?” Jack asked from the driver’s seat of the Bronco. You smiled softly as you nodded to him before reaching over and taking his right hand in your left. Your thumb ghosted over the top of his hand and you sighed softly. It had been a hectic couple of weeks; Jack had been assigned more and more missions while you were busy in the lab. Not to mention you any free time you had to yourself was used up with phone calls, emails and video calls to Tequila. Who had completely stepped up as your Man of Honor, and you couldn’t be more grateful for all of his help.

         Since the wedding was going to be in Kentucky and you were stationed in New York you had asked Tequila to be your go between with the caterer, baker, DJ, and others. And Tequila had shined in this new role you had stuck him in. The last video call you had with he had shown you the wedding binder he had put together so that he could keep track of all of things that needed to be handled. Suffice it to say you were thoroughly impressed.

         “Yeah, he had to finish up with some trainees this morning before the appointment.” You explained softly with a warm smile. Your frowned then and looked over to Jack again. “You’re okay with him being there right? I didn’t even think to ask you that.” You said guiltily.

         “Darlin’, I’m okay with whatever you want. He’s your point of contact with all of the wedding stuff so he should be there. Besides I can’t really imagine this happening without him there anyway.” Jack said warmly as he chuckled to himself. You grinned nodding your head in agreement. It did feel like this was how it was always supposed to be. With both of the guys who meant the world to you at your side every step of the way.

         The baker you and Jack had decided on was local and one of your favorites. You remembered when you had first introduced Jack to the delicious pastries and cakes that the small bakery produced. It had been back when you had been a brand new field agent and Tequila was celebrating his birthday. You had offered to go out and buy him a chocolate on chocolate birthday cake from the bakery that you enjoyed in town. Jack had been there at the little birthday celebration in the office and when you had presented the cake and cut him a piece he had come back over to you asking you what bakery you had used because he thought the cake was delicious.

         Just as the two of you pulled into the parking lot for the bakery you saw Tequila leaning against the side of his own truck. Smiling you leaned over and pressed a kiss to Jack’s cheek with excitement making him chuckle at your antics. You then threw open your door and slipped out of the Bronco grinning over to Tequila who chuckled over at you as he shook his head.

         “She’s in rare form ain’t she?” Tequila asked teasingly as Jack walked around the truck to the two of you.

         “She’s exited for cake.” Jack said knowingly and you laughed softly as you slipped your arm around his.

         “He ain’t wrong.” You said with a smirk making the two men laugh at you. You watched as Tequila pulled a binder from his truck and slipped it under his arm as you all began walking to the front entrance of the bakery.

         “There’s the future Mr. and Mrs. Daniels!” called out a happy voice and your grin split your face wide. The excitement was bubbling up inside of you as you looked over to Shanna the owner. “How are y’all doin’?” she asked kindly as she nodded her head to you while she walked around the counter wiping her hands on her apron.

         “We’re doing just fine Shanna.” You said as you moved to give her a warm hug. “This is my fiancé Jack. And my best friend Tequila.” You introduced the men to Shanna.

         “Well it’s a pleasure to meet you two. She’s told me all about you.” Shanna said with a smirk as she shook first Jack’s hand and then Tequila’s.

         “Hopefully only the good bits.” Tequila groused softly making everyone laugh softly and he narrowed his eyes over to you teasingly.

         “Of course, of course. Well let’s get you all settled in the back and I’ll bring out the samples for you to try. How’s that sound?” she explained and you nodded along with her as your excitement began to build again.

         “Sounds just fine.” Jack said warmly as he wrapped an arm low around your back his hand coming around your hip to grasp it tight. He pressed a kiss to your temple and began to usher you behind Shanna to the back room.

         “So after our talk over the phone I’ve got five samples for you to try. And we can make it look however you want it to this is just to figure out the flavors and whether or not you’d like to do a traditional cake, cupcakes or both.” Shanna was explaining as the four of you came and sat around a rectangular metal table. You sat in between Jack and Tequila on one side and Shanna was on the other side where five small cakes were laid out on display. Tequila pulled out the binder he had brought in with him and you smiled softly at his attentiveness as he also pulled out a pen to begin writing things down.

         “You’re really taking this whole Man of Honor thing seriously, huh?” Jack asked in an awed voice as he looked over at Tequila and his binder.

         “Well yeah it’s you guys’ wedding and I’m supposed to be helping. This just makes it easier to keep track of everything.” Tequila explained easily. Jack nodded understanding Tequila’s job all too well. “Plus Cur works well when it’s all organized.” Tequila said knowingly as he smirks over at you.

         “Oh don’t I know that.” Jack admitted perceptively with a shared smirk between the two men.

         “Hey! There is nothing wrong with being organized.” You defended yourself easily scowling softly at both men.

         “Yeah but Cur, you take it to the extreme.” Tequila teased back easily and you scoffed at him before turning back to Shanna.

         “So what did you need to know Shanna?” you asked pointedly ignoring the men on either side of you.

         “Well I’ve already got most of your wedding information. I’d like to know more about the look or theme of the wedding so that I can start getting some ideas on how to decorate the cake.” She said easily as she pulled out her own pad and pen. “But we can talk about that as we go through each cake.”

         You watched as she slid over a chocolate covered cake and smiled nodding your head. She took out three plates and cut out three small pieces of cake for you, Jack and Tequila before handing out each plate.

         “So for the first cake we’ve got dark chocolate cake with raspberry spread and a dark chocolate icing.” She explained as you all dug into the delicious tasting cake. The rich mixture of raspberry and dark chocolate burst onto your tongue and you hummed softly as you chewed. You weren’t much of a fan of dark chocolate but Shanna was a genius baker and you were thinking she might sway you over to love dark chocolate. “We can make these into cupcakes as well by doing a raspberry filling if that’s the route you’d like to go. Or just have it as a small wedding cake for you and Jack.”

         “Remember though darlin’ my family has some allergies to chocolate and almonds.” Jack reminded you as he continued to eat his piece of cake. “This is delicious though.” He said nodding to Shanna.

         “Why thank you. If you’re worried about allergies we could always do a mix of each different flavor combination as cupcakes.” Shanna said easily.

         “I like the idea of a small wedding cake for Jack and I. And then cupcakes for the guests.” You said easily. “And that way if we like more than one cake we could have a mix of cupcakes. So that if anyone does have allergies they could have other options.” You reasoned softly as you set your fork aside feeling like you’d had enough of the dark chocolate cake. Jack looked over to you smiling tenderly with a kind look in his eye.

         “You’re always thinking about others aren’t ya?” he asked softly and you blushed as his eyes turned a darker shade as he continued to gaze at you.

         “Right well Shanna, why don’t we move on to the next cake before these two horn dogs go at each other.” Tequila said nodding over to Shanna. At his words you were quickly looking away from Jack with a bright blush on your cheeks and his low chuckle fluttered into your ears making you blush even more.

         “So the next one is a lemon flavored cake with a cream cheese frosting. I wanted to know was what is your color theme for the wedding. Maybe we’d be able to work in some of the colors into the frosting or decorations on the cake.” Shanna said in explanation as dished up three more pieces of cake for you.

         “The colors are navy blue, light gray and sunflower yellow.” You responded easily as you bit into the lemon cake. You tilted your head slightly before taking another bite. You didn’t think you’d like the lemon cake was oddly enough the combination of lemon and cream cheese worked really well together.

         “And she’s going to have sunflowers as the table decorations.” Tequila supplied as he turned the binder over to show Shanna a picture of the flower arrangement that you had already picked out for the table bouquets.

         “You know I think Memaw would like this one alright.” Jack said softly into your ear as he leaned close to you and continued eating his cake. You turned to look at him and thought about it silently.

         “I think you’re right. It reminds me of her lemon poppy seed cake she makes.” You said agreeing with him. “So I think we should get this one as one of the cupcake options, what do you think?” you asked him softly.

         “That sounds like a good idea darlin’. That way the guests can try each one and figure out which one they’d like.” He said nodding his head again as he finished his slice of cake. “I do enjoy that one though it’s really good.”

         “Ok so this next one is a vanilla cake with a strawberry spread and a buttercream strawberry icing.” Shanna explained as she dished out the third cake.

         “Oh I’m gonna enjoy this one.” Tequila said while he wiggled his eyebrows and you chuckled softly shaking your head.

         “Didn’t pick you as a strawberry person.” Jack said thoughtfully as he took a bite of his cake and scrunched his nose up a little before setting his fork down.

         “Oh yeah my parents used to have a huge strawberry garden in the backyard growing up. Would eat them off the plant before mom could come and pick them.” Tequila explained with a soft laugh. You grinned over to him as you watched him finish his whole plate.

         “Ok so for the fourth option we’ve made a red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting.” Shanna explained as she continued to dish out the cake.

         “So Shanna we’re having an outdoor wedding and evening reception on Jack’s property. Will that be a probably for the cake and cupcakes?” you asked curiously as you began to eat the red velvet cake.

         “Not at all what we’ll do is about an hour before the reception we’ll drive to Jack’s place and store all of the cupcakes and cake at his ranch. We would just need to find some room in the fridge to keep them in.” Shanna explained easily.

         “That’s not a problem. I’ve got a few game fridges that I can clean out before the wedding so that we have plenty of room.” Jack said easily with a shrug.

         “Oh? What type of game do you store?” Shanna asked curiously.

         “Mostly deer but every once in a while my dad and grandpa like to go Turkey hunting too.” Jack explained and Shanna nodded her head.

         “My dad and brother like to go deer hunting too. They’ve been talking about going Moose hunting up in Canada one of these years but never manage to light a fire under their asses enough to actually get up there.” She said laughing softly. Once the three of you had finished your red velvet cakes she then took your plates and dished out the last cake to all of you. “So for the last cake we have an almond cake with an amaretto frosting.”

         When you bit in the cake in front of you flavor burst on your tongue and tried to bite down the moan that crawled up your throat. Closing your eyes softly you silently savored the cake. The almond cake and amaretto frosting paired well with each other and made a delicious combination inside your mouth.

         “So this is your favorite huh?” Jack asked softly in your ear as he leaned over to you and you smiled as you opened your eyes to look over to him.

         “Oh yeah. This is delicious.” You gushed out and nodded your head eagerly. Shanna’s soft laughter rang through the room and she smiled proudly over at you. “What do you think of getting just a small 2 tier cake for us in the almond and amaretto. And then the lemon, strawberry and chocolate as cupcakes for the guests?” you asked Jack as you turned to watch his reaction to your proposal.

         “I think that would be a good idea.” He said easily as he nodded his head at your words.

         “Is that doable Shanna?” you asked turning back over to her and watched as she wrote down your choices and nodded her head.

         “Of course and I’ve got your guest numbers so we’ll make it so they could have one of each if they wanted.” She said easily as she continued to write down on her pad of paper. You turned your head to look over at Tequila and saw that he was also writing down your choices in the binder. “Ok so I’ll get this all in writing in the contract and I’ll send it over to you and Tequila so that he’s got a copy. I would just need you to look it over and send me back a signed copy.” She said explained easily. You nodded your head and wrapped your arm around Jack’s arm and snuggled into his shoulder grinning.

         “I can’t believe we just picked out our wedding cake.” You whispered happily to him and he looked over his shoulder at you before pressing a tender kiss to your lips.

         “Better believe darlin’.” He said warmly.

[hailing-stars]

for peter 

part 2 (read part one here) 

summary 

“Does he have to eat it at the table?” asked Happy, his eyes red and his nose runny.

“Of course he does. He’s family, and he likes sitting next to his uncle Happy.”

Buddy stopped eating long enough to put his head in the air and bark an affirmative. Chucks of chewed cake and icing sprayed out from his mouth, flying in every direction. Morgan giggled from her highchair, and Tony didn’t even try to suppress the laugh that escaped him. Nor did Pepper.

“This isn’t funny, you know I’m allergic to dogs,” said Happy, before blowing his nose inside a handkerchief.

or 

Tony’s first year as a dog dad and a dad to Morgan in snapshots 

or 

An AU where instead of being dusted Peter turns into a dog and lives that five year gap with the Starks at their lake cabin.

Read on AO3 or after the undercut 

Morgan Stark came into the world screaming, while her mother shouted curse words at her father, and the nurses tried not to laugh. Tony suspected their muffled chuckling had been directed at him. He couldn’t blame them. He was screaming, too.

Nothing had prepared him for the delivery room, and having, barely, lived through it, Tony knew there was nothing on earth or in space that could’ve. Not for Pepper’s angry shouting or her death threats or her breaking every bone in his right hand with her crushing grip, but mostly, not for the realness of the hospital, with all its beeping machines and nurses walking in and out, checking baby Stark’s progress.

Being there had made it real in a way talking about it hadn’t. They had walked into the hospital a married couple with a dog, but they would walk out with an infant.

A daughter.

A second chance Tony knew he’d never bounce back from if it crumbled to dust the same way the first chance had.

That thought had made him panic, had made the room spin and blur, and his hand slipped out of Pepper’s grip.

“Maybe I should give Rhodey a call,” he told her. The contractions had been far apart. There was still time. “Check on Buddy… maybe Rhodey can sneak him in.”

The death glare Pepper gave at the comment was answer enough and made him scurry out of the room when she ordered him to go and fetch some more ice chips. He’d been happy for the break, and after getting the cup of ice chips from a nurse, he stalled outside the door to their hospital room, his hand eventually finding his cellphone in his pocket automatically.

“Are you sure this is a dog, man?” asked Rhodey, as a way of saying hello. “He’s creepy as hell.”

Tony frowned. Only he was allowed to make fun of his dog. “You know what they say, Rhodey. Takes creepy to know creepy.”

“Mature and original,” said Rhodey. “Seriously, though, something’s wrong with him. He keeps bringing me that picture of you and Pete and barking at it.”

“He misses me.”

“He’s not eating his food.”

“That’s because you’re giving him the dog food Pepper bought,” said Tony. “He won’t eat it. You gotta cook his meals.”

Pepper meant well. She didn’t want Buddy getting sick, but what she didn’t know was Tony had been giving him regular foods behind her back. He’d yet to get sick, so Tony figured it was pretty safe. Plus, he had googled what meals were okay for dogs. He wasa genius, after all.

“I’m not cooking for a dog, Tones,” said Rhodey, then sighed. “How’s Pepper doing, anyway? When’s my niece getting here?”

“Not soon enough,” said Tony, flexing his hand. “Pep’s doing great. You know her.” Just then, he heard her shouting for him on the other side of the door. “I gotta go. Do yourself a favor and throw a couple of burgers on the grill. It’ll stop the barking. He gets cranky when he’s hungry.”  

Tony hung up before Rhodey had a chance to respond, then rejoined his wife, who continued screaming at him.

After that it’d been a blur of screaming, hand squeezing, and obscenities, that all ended when Morgan Stark arrived, wailing, covered in disgusting goo the nurses cleaned off before evaluating her. Morgan was declared a healthy baby girl, and handed back to Pepper, swaddled in a blanket and with a tiny pink cap on her head.

At some point, they might have switched rooms. Tony didn’t know. Through all that chaos, he could only focus on his daughter, on how small and perfect she was.

He was sat on the edge of Pepper’s bed, looking down at her, at Morgan, while Pepper held her against her chest. The lights were dim, and it was quiet, besides the persistent beeps of medical machinery. It was awhile before either of them spoke, and naturally, the first words belonged to Tony.

“I miss Buddy,” he said.

Pepper gave a small, tired laugh, and he let her believe he was joking. He really did want his dog. It seemed wrong, somehow, that his sister was here, and he wasn’t around to meet her. If Peter couldn’t be here, he’d at least like Buddy to be.

She passed Morgan over to him. The transfer was smooth, they were already naturals, and Morgan didn’t stir from her sleep.

“I’m crashing out,” said Pepper, her eyes were already sliding shut. “You should get some sleep, too.”

Tony cradled his daughter and looked over at the bassinet the nurses had rolled it. He couldn’t possibly put her down in there. It was too lonely, too empty, too cold. Besides, Tony had read the books. While mom was resting after doing the terrifyingly impossible, it was time for dad and daughter to bond.

“I just need a few more minutes with her,” he said. Pepper smiled with her eyes shut and gave a slow nod as she drifted off. She had no way of knowing, but he held Morgan the rest of the night.

*

There was a giant teddy bear in the backseat of Tony’s car. Also, his daughter. She was fast asleep, tucked safely away in her car seat and beneath a thin blanket as Tony drove the car up their driveway and parked.

Buddy waited for them out on the front porch. He stood up, and wagged his tail, as Tony slid out from the driver’s side door. He didn’t run or jump or bark or do any of things he usually did when he was happy and excited, like he knew and understood they had a tiny infant in the backseat to unload.

Tony unfastened the car seat and lifted his daughter out of the car, taking special care not to bump it against the car as he did.

His daughter. Three days and he still wasn’t used to it. Every time he remembered he got the same rush of happiness, followed by pangs of panic and disbelief. The universe never let him feel this happy, at least, not for very long.

Buddy watched them with a titled head as him and Pepper approached the porch. Rhodey appeared from the front door, just in them to greet them.

“There she is,” said Rhodey. He made a move for the car seat, but Tony swatted his hand away.

“Not yet,” Tony told him. “She has to meet her brother first.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“He’s being completely serious,” said Pepper. “As serious as he was about sneaking the dog in the room when I had her coming out of me.”

Rhodey made a disgruntled face. “I don’t even outrank the dog?”

“Nope,” said Tony, as he put the car seat down on the porch and began working the buttons, unlatching her, then gently picking her up while she slept.

Buddy sat. Waited. Stayed completely still until Tony brought her over to him and crouched down to show him.

“She’s here, bud. This is Morgan.”

Buddy took a couple of steps forward and put his nose near Morgan’s small body, sniffing her, but never touching her with his nose. He gave her hand a small lick, then backed up. His tail wagged faster. He looked up at Tony, lifted his nose to the air and gave a quiet bark.

“We’re so glad you approve,” said Pepper, with a laugh.

“Great, he loves her,” said Rhodey, deadpanned. “Now let me meet my niece.”

Tony allowed Rhodey to take Morgan from his hands, and once she was safely transferred, shifted his full attention on Buddy, giving him some good pets while he blocked out all the disgusting baby talk Rhodey tormented Morgan with.

“That’s your sister,” said Tony, rubbing Buddy’s ears. “You gotta protect her.”

Buddy made a snarl that sounded offended as he backed up out of Tony’s reach. Something he interpreted as of course. Tony didn’t know if he could understand Buddy because he was starting to learn dog language, or if it was because he was just losing his mind. Probably, though, Tony thought, as he stared at his dog, after being gone for three days, it was because Buddy didn’t speak dog.

“Tony,” said Rhodey. “Is that a giant teddy bear in your car?”

“Yep.”

“Isn’t Morgan, uh, too small to appreciate it?”

“Oh, it isn’t for Morgan,” said Pepper.

“You’re joking – “

“You know what’s weird?” asked Tony, cutting him off. “Buddy doesn’t look starved and he isn’t whining for food.”

Rhodey’s eyes narrowed and his jaw tightened.

“You cooked for him, didn’t you?”

“I had to do something to stop the whining,” said Rhodey. “That dog’s just like you. Never shuts up.” He turned, and walked back inside the cabin, taking Morgan with him as he went.

“He cooked for a dog,” repeated Tony, for Pepper’s benefit. He didn’t think she was appreciating the moment as much as she could’ve been. It was always a sport to get Rhodey to do the things he claimed he wouldn’t do, one Tony liked to win.

“Good luck getting that bear out of the car,” was all Pepper said, as she followed Rhodey and Morgan inside, leaving Tony on the porch, alone with Buddy. He didn’t mind it, though. He really had missed his dog.

*

Tony’s life became something lame after bringing Morgan home, like something from a cheesy sit-com, where everything always worked out in the span of twenty-two minutes.

He decided he liked it.

The peace, the quiet, the sitting by the lake with his wife, his daughter, his dog.

He liked the midnight feedings, where he would sit with Pepper as she fed Morgan, and they would chat in low voices - learning secrets about each other they never knew existed - while Tony absentmindedly scratched Buddy between the ears. He sat between them every time Morgan screamed them all out of their dreams, wanting to be fed, or Tony’s favorite, just wanting to be held.  

He’d been afraid holding her would bring anxiety and panic, would be flashbacks to holding Peter as he drifted away. It wasn’t. It was nothing like that, and he found the only difficult part was putting her down.

Tony held her as much as possible, in his hands, or nestled against his chest in the kangaroo carrier while he did the dishes and Pepper wiped down the counter tops and Buddy licked crumbs off the floor.  

He liked that they were together, the four of them, all the time, even if it his heart still ached knowing they’d never all be together with Peter included. He wouldn’t be coming to visit on weekends. He wouldn’t ever hold Morgan. He wouldn’t be around to teach her bad puns, or tell her about his adventures as Spider-Man.

So, Tony told his stories for him. Morgan was too young to understand, but the books said they should be talking to her, anyway. He might as well tell her stories and preserve Peter’s memory at the same time. Besides, it soothed his heart the same way eating cheeseburgers in a diner with Buddy did.

To further preserve his memory, Tony took the picture of him and Pete off his nightstand, gave it a nicer frame and put it up in the kitchen, so when they were eating dinner, or cleaning up after it, Peter could be there, too. Plus, he had to get it out of Buddy’s reach. He kept stealing it and bringing it to guests as they showed up to meet baby Morgan.

She had tons of visitors during her first few weeks, but as weeks turned into months, they became fewer and fewer, until three months had passed by, which meant it was time for Pepper to return to the office. Tony’s four would be cut to three, at least during the day.

“Just stay home with us one more month,” said Tony. He sat on their bed with Morgan in his arms and with Buddy lying right by his side.  

“You know I can’t do that,” Pepper told him. She was rustling around in the closet, searching through her office clothes, hoping to find something that would fit post-pregnancy.

“A week.”

“Tony.”

“We’re gonna fall apart without you, Pep.”

She turned and walked out of the closet, a suit jacket inside a plastic clothes bag in hand. “SIis falling apart without me.” She kissed him on the forehead. “But I have complete faith in you.”

Tony looked down at his three-month-old. He was entirely sure she would be just like her mother. That one day she’d be running SI with as much grace and competence. Then he looked at Buddy and imagined him sitting up in the CEO’s office at SI, in the computer chair, staring into a screen with glasses on his face.

Somehow, the image didn’t feel completely ridiculous, or even unlikely.

*

“I’m building a time machine,” said Tony, as he wrapped his arm around Pepper. They were sitting together on the couch, sipping hot chocolate with a slight kick, and watching and listening as Morgan babbled to Buddy. “She’s getting too big. We gotta freeze time and put a stop to it.”

It was a cliché, Tony knew. He had rolled his eyes plenty of times before when he was forced to make small talk and had to listen to parents talk about how quickly kids grew up. You blink, they’d say, and you’d miss it.

Except Tony hadn’t blinked.

He had been there when Morgan laughed for the first time. It was the best sound he’d ever heard. He had been there, with his eyes wide open, when Morgan stood up for the first time. Not by herself, but by hanging onto to Buddy, who was always so gentle and allowed her to pull at his fur. He and Pepper watched and cheered when she took her first steps, neither of them surprised she was an early walker.

He’d seen it all. Every milestone, but still, he felt like he blinked. He felt like he was two seconds away from dropping her off at college. Maybe he could convince her to live at home, when the time came.

Then he remembered she was a Stark and a Potts, and already showing her stubborn independence.

He took another sip of hot chocolate. “I mean it, Pep. I’m gonna freeze time.”

“You’d get bored.”

“Of this?” asked Tony. He pressed a sloppy kiss into her cheek, leaving it wet with traces of hot chocolate. “Never.”

She made a noise of disgust and wiped her cheek off with a blanket, and Tony went back to listening and watching his daughter carry on a conversation with Buddy. She babbled. He barked back. They were communicating and Tony couldn’t understand it. A part of him was jealous. He used to be the only one who could decipher Buddy’s barks.

“So, what do you think it will be?”

Tony put his attention back on Pepper.

“Her first word,” Pepper elaborated. “Her first real word.”

“Oh, that’s easy. Definitely dad,” said Tony. “It’s clear she loves me most.”

Pepper gave a small laugh and shook her head, eventually lying it down on his chest.

He really did need that time freezing machine, if only to stretch out moments like this as long as possible. There was dread clawing at the back of his mind telling him peace wouldn’t last forever, that the universe would never really allow Tony Stark to keep his happiness.

Two days after their conversation with hot chocolate, Morgan said her first word. It was Buddy, and Tony was too proud to care that he’d been wrong.

*

All eyes were on Morgan Stark. She had just turned one, and already commanded attention just like Tony-of-the-past at a Stark Expo. She looked around, grinning at all the adults who had phone cameras pointed her way, then smashed her hand down in the purple and green cake.

She laughed and threw a chuck of icing and cake at Happy, who was sitting at the picnic table near where her highchair sat. It missed, fell to the ground, and that was when Buddy moved in, completely ready for his chance to lick it up off the grass.  

“Hey, no, I don’t think so,” yelled Tony, wagging his finger at Buddy, his tone causing the dog to look up and stare. “No chocolate for you. That stuff will kill you.”

Buddy looked at Tony, and he whined.

“Lucky for you, I thought ahead,” said Tony, tapping a small, plain white box that sat on top of the picnic table. Buddy barked, and jumped up, taking a seat next to Happy, while Tony unboxed the cake and slid it across the table for him.

Buddy didn’t waste a second. His nose and mouth went directly inside the cake.

“Let me get this straight,” said Happy. “You bought a whole cake? For the dog?”

“No,” said Pepper, sitting down next to Tony. “He drove all the way into the city, to the pet bakery, to buy a cake just for the dog.”

Tony looked back at Morgan. She was finally starting to understand the cake wasn’t just for throwing and was licking the icing she scrapped off the top from her fingers. He grinned at her, before shifting his attention back to Happy, Pepper, and Rhodey.

“I didn’t want him to feel left out,” said Tony.

Rhodey laughed at the same time Happy sneezed.

“Does he have to eat it at the table?” asked Happy, his eyes red and his nose runny.

“Of course he does. He’s family, and he likes sitting next to his uncle Happy.”

Buddy stopped eating long enough to put his head in the air and bark an affirmative. Chucks of chewed cake and icing sprayed out from his mouth, flying in every direction. Morgan giggled from her highchair, and Tony didn’t even try to suppress the laugh that escaped him. Nor did Pepper.

“This isn’t funny, you know I’m allergic to dogs,” said Happy, before blowing his nose inside a handkerchief.

“That’s not a dog, man,” said Rhodey, shaking his head.  

Tony grimaced as Happy threw the used handkerchief out on the table, and reached into his pocket, for the extra, clean one Tony knew he kept there.

He never got the chance to use it, though. Buddy saw an opportunity, and he took it. He snatched the handkerchief from Happy’s hand, jumped away from the table with it in his mouth, and ran several ran away from the table before stopping.

“Hey!” shouted Happy, turning around in his seat.

Buddy stared back at him. Wagging his tail. He dropped the handkerchief on the ground.

“Are you gonna do anything about this?” asked Happy.

“What? He just wants to play.”  

Tony could’ve warned his friend. He’d been a victim of this game Buddy liked to play too many times to count, but Tony wasn’t the type to warn his friends. Being entertained by them was so much better.

Happy stood up, and approached, but when he reached down to take his handkerchief, Buddy snatched it back off the ground and ran off with it just like before, leaving Happy in his dust. He stopped running once he got to the lake, and put the handkerchief back on the ground, wagging his tail and barking.

Happy, the fool, chased after him again, and again, while Morgan shrieked with laughter.

“Go Buddy! Go!” she shouted, bouncing in her highchair and laughing, watching them, and ignoring her demolished cake.

Tony shifted his attention back and forth between Morgan and Happy, who was still chasing his dog and shouting death threats. It was a perfect day, and more evidence that he needed a time freezing machine.

Or maybe, even, one that turned the clock backwards.

*

“Tony…”

“We can’t,” said Tony. He had Morgan in his arms, and he refused to put her down. “She can’t sleep in here all by herself.”

“She’s one, it’s time,” said Pepper. “Do you want her sleeping in our bedroom until she’s eighteen?”

Tony didn’t give her an answer. Instead, he looked down at Morgan. She was tuckered out from her birthday party. So tired, even, she’d fallen asleep in the bathtub while Tony was trying to get icing out of her hair. Probably, she’d sleep through the night and not even notice she was in a different room, but Tony would notice.

He wasn’t ready.

“What do you think is going to happen to her? We’re just right down the hall.”

“The boogey man might eat her.”

“Tony- “

“-I’m serious,” he said. “She’s too young to be on her own, Pep. Maybe when she’s two, we can discuss it.”

Pepper gave him that look. The one that told him he was being ridiculous, and the conversation was over. “Kiss your daughter goodnight, then come to bed.”

She left Morgan’s bedroom, and Tony listened to her footsteps slip down the hallway, while he stared down at Morgan. Carefully, he laid her down in the crib, but couldn’t bring himself to walk away, or even take his hand off the railing.  

A debate played in his head as he watched his daughter sleep. He was considering the most comfortable spot in her room to sleep, the floor, or sitting up, in the rocking chair by the window. Before he could figure it out, Buddy backed into the room, using all his strength to drag his giant teddy bear through the doorway.

Tony watched as he dragged it all the way to the window, before laying on top of it and giving him a solemn stare. He’d gotten it for him to replace the old, ratty bear that came with him from the Parker’s apartment. It hadn’t worked. Buddy still clung to it, still carried it around in his mouth, but he loved the giant bear, too.

He used it as a dog bed, and Tony understood, even without barking, what him dragging it in to Morgan’s bedroom meant.

“You’re gonna watch over her for me?”  

Buddy raised his head up, then laid it back down on the teddy bear’s ear, as if to say I’m not going anywhere.

Tony took his hands from the crib’s metal rails, walked across the room, crouched down, and rubbed Buddy’s ear with his right hand. “I should have known. You always have my back.”

He gave one last look into Morgan’s crib as he moved on towards his bedroom and slipped into bed next to Pepper. He didn’t sleep well, but he did sleep.

[justkeeptrekkin]

erasermic one of them trying (and maybe failing) to create a lava cake so they can have a special lava-cake-date. this can be in canon or chef au.

Anon i had to google what a lava cake is and YUM. I think that’s what we call a chocolate fondant in the UK!!! Anddddd you’ve made me crave one now. So thanks lmao.

I’ve based this on my chef au, because i miss those silly chef boys. Link to the whole fic here!

These walls have seen many culinary failures. Even more culinary successes. They’ve seen the birth of liquorice delights and miso disasters. They’ve almost been burned down by triple-cooked-chips gone wrong, and they’ve had smoothie contents spattered all over them. Over a decade of working in the food industry, and Mic still forgets to put the lid on the blender.

Shouta’s warehouse converted apartment, with its big windows and exposed brick and concrete floors, is no longer Shouta’s- it’s theirs. And for that reason, it’s seen twice as many meals gone wrong.

“Shou. Babe. I swear to god, I swear to fucking god, please do not take it out of the oven. Do not take them out yet.”

“I don’t see why not. It said eight to ten minutes in the recipe.”

“And it’s been seven.”

“And by the time we finish this pointless conversation, it will have been eight, and they’ll be perfect.”

“Ok, sure, they would be, except for the fact that your oven is the biggest piece of crap I’ve ever seen and it makes me want to cry.”

“Our oven. And calm down, they’ll be fine.”

Shouta bends down to peer through the oven window. The fondants have risen a little, not too much, just right. And beside his face, Hizashi taps his foot anxiously, knee bouncing.

“You’re making me nervous,” Shouta says dryly. It’s a lie. It’s fun to tease, though.

“I- well, I sure fuckin’ hope so, my entire life is covered in cocao powder right now and I’m super craving chocolate lava cake, so if they suck and I can’t just, eat all of them one go, I’m blaming you and I’m leaving you forever.”

Shouta peers up at Hizashi with an even expression. He doesn’t think he’s smiling, but it’s not always easy to control that impulse around Hizashi. He looks down at Shouta, brows pinched and pouting, huge puppy dog eyes.

“I’m being serious!” Hizashi folds his arms across his t-shirt- which is, in fact, covered in chocolate mixture- and turns his back to him. “I’ll pack my bags and take my skills elsewhere.”

“And what about our restaurant.”

“You’ll have to find another superstar chef. You’ll have to watch my TV show just to see my face again. And I’ll acquire a really hot assistant so you can sit there and burn with jealousy.”

“Speaking of burning.”

Hizashi’s shoulders rise up to his ears and his spins round, aghast. Dropping to the floor, he nudges Shouta aside slightly so he can look through the window.

Shouta snorts.

“Yo, what the hell, you’re such a liar! They’re fine!”

“My oven’s not that bad. They’re not going to burn in eight minutes, you’re totally gullible.”

“And you’re an ass.”

Shouta laughs properly this time. And Hizashi abruptly smiles back. He likes to play up the flustered, stressed out persona when Shouta teases. It makes it more fun for both of them.

They both look back inside the oven.

Hizashi sighs.

“Fine. Let’s take them out. And if they’re ruined and they collapse and they don’t cook properly I’ll cry.”

“I know.”

Shouta takes the oven gloves and opens the oven door. The smell of chocolate is suddenly overwhelming, and the heat hits his face making his skin tingle. Hizashi’s glasses fog up, as they always do, and there’s nothing Shouta can say to persuade him to switch to contacts. Shouta places the tray on the counter, and for a moment, they both just stare at it. Eight perfect little puddings, a luxurious brown with an ever-so-slight dip in the centre. Steam rolls off of them, and Shouta breathes in the warm scent of cocoa.

“We need to wait for them to cool.” Hizashi says this like he’s in physical pain.

“Yeah.”

They look at each other. And then, Shouta takes a serving board and places it on the tray, tipping it upside down so that the puddings slide out.

Hizashi watches, hands in front of his face in apprehension. “It’s almost too much tension to bear!” he exclaims.

“They’re puddings,” Shouta replies calmly, though he can feel a sense of anticipation settling on his chest. “It’s not a competition.”

But they both know that’s not the case. Because even though this is technically a date- one of the rare occasions they get to escape the restaurant- and even though this is supposed to be a sleepy Saturday afternoon spent in each other’s company, this is a competition. This is a test- who has it right? Is it Shouta, who thinks they should have come out between eight and ten minutes? Or Hizashi, who holds a distrust for their oven?

There’s only one way to find out.

Slowly. Ever so slowly, enough that Shouta thinks that time itself has slowed down, he lifts the baking tray. He holds his breath. Feels a bead of sweat falling down his temple. Hizashi bites his fist, his other hand clinging onto his arm.

And the winner is…

The first pudding collapses in a thick puddle of chocolate.

Shouta growls to himself.

“YES! YES, in your FACE!”

Hizashi is slapping him on the arm excitedly and whooping, punching the air and doing a victory dance that makes Shouta smile to himself as he hangs his head in defeat.

He loves this idiot.

“Oh man, victory tastes so sweet, dude, I- people are going to remember this day.”

“Shut up.”

“It’s gonna be called, ‘Mic shoves an undercooked chocolate pudding directly in Chef Aizawa’s face’ day.”

“I thought you were meant to be sad that they didn’t work. Leaving me forever.”

“Oh you’d like that wouldn’t you.”

“I’d actually prefer it to this.”

Hizashi laughs brightly. Everything he does is bright, and Shouta absent-mindedly tucks a strand of hair behind Hizashi’s ear, before turning his attention back to the puddings.

The first one that came out was a failure. But on further inspection, it looks like four were successful. Their physical integrity seems to be fairly strong, compared to the other four, which have collapsed and caused a river of chocolate on the serving board.

“Still edible,” Shouta remarks.

“Well, I mean, dude. I’m eating it all regardless.”

Hizashi takes out two spoons, and Shouta takes a pinch of salt. He looks to Hizashi for permission, who nods eagerly, and he scatters over the top of the puddings. Nothing better than something sweet with a little bit of salt. Just to balance it all out. And Hizashi makes the most ridiculous noises as he ploughs through one pudding, then the second, whilst Shouta eats silently. They stand at the kitchen counter and polish off over half of it.

The Saturday afternoon light is dimming through the large apartment windows, and Shouta realises it’s probably almost time for dinner. He doesn’t think he can think about any more food for a while.

“Babe?”

“Mm.”

Hizashi holds his spoon in his mouth, brows furrowed in thought, and something else. Nervousness. Shouta waits, suddenly apprehensive. And then the look softens, as if Hizashi’s figured out how to articulate what he wants to say.

“What would you bake with kids?”

Shouta stalls. He blinks at him, trying to figure out where Hizashi’s considerably faster mind is going.

“Kids?”

“Yeah. You know, if you were baking cakes with a kid, what would you make?”

Shouta looks down at the serving board, troughs of chocolate made from their spoons and half-eaten puddings left to cool. He rubs the back of his neck. “I dunno. I guess something like this. It’s… messy, quick. Supposedly easy. Fun.”

He feels Hizashi’s eyes watching him expectantly, spoon back in his mouth like he’s trying to stop his mouth from saying anything else. Shouta rarely sees Hizashi self-conscious of his words, not around him. He doesn’t like it.

“‘Zashi?”

“No, just,” Hizashi shrugs, a huge heave of his shoulders, and waves the spoon about in his hand. “I was just thinking the same. You know. That this kind of thing would be nice to cook with kids.”

Hizashi’s eyes widen at what he’s said, and he stares resolutely at the serving board.

And something in Shouta’s chest explodes. From that point, there’s nothing that can stop Shouta from smiling. Light-headed with disbelief and love for the man silently panicking with a desert spoon stuck in his mouth once more.

“Hizashi,” he says quietly. His partner twitches, looks away. “Hizashi. Are you asking me if I want to have kids?”

Hizashi immediately turns to look at him again, and there’s a shine to his eyes. His lips form a wobbly smile. “I think I am.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m so sure. Like, one thousand percent sure. You’d be the best dad in the world.”

“I. Hizashi, you know I’ve always wanted this, but-”

“Shouta, I’m so ready for this.”

And he hears the sound of a spoon clattering to the floor before he throws his arms around Hizashi, picking him up and spinning him around in the kitchen. Hizashi yelps and squeals in surprise, but eventually wraps arms around his neck and laughs against his shoulder. He could twirl him round like this for hours. He feels rejuvenated. He feels his eyes sting with tears.

When he drops Hizashi back down, Hizashi takes his face in his hands.

“Shouta,” he says seriously.

“Yeah,” he breathes, his face hurting from grinning.

And then Hizashi laughs, looking down at the serving board of chocolate, then back at him. “Our kids are gonna be so unhealthy.”

“Chocolate’s a bean. Beans are healthy, it’s fine.”

The sound of their euphoric laughter fills the room. Shouta kisses him, and his lips taste like chocolate.

[unofficialkfamtranscripts]

King Falls AM - Episode Four: Wolves Gone Wild

View in Google Docs

Summary: June 15, 2015 - With Sammy & Ben in contention over a forced apology regarding the Bass Tournament, a full moon causes all hell to break loose on the outskirts of King Falls.

[Podcast intro music]

[KFAM rock intro music]

Ben Top of the hour here on King Falls AM, that’s 660 on the AM dial. And we’re live here on this crisp, King Falls evening. It’s a full moon, and you know what that means, so be careful out there. It’s four AM, on the dot, and as per instructed by Merv, the station manager, who we will be—

Sammy [agitated] You’re really gonna play that.

Ben [sarcastically] Oh look who’s talking again, everybody! Sammy Stevens, ladies and gents.

Sammy Very funny, Ben. You know, we’ve played this apology enough. let’s just get back on track, how ‘bout it?

Ben Gotta do it.

[radio static as recording begins]

Sammy Hello, this is Sammy Stevens and I’m sitting here with Ben Arnold, your co-host of King Falls AM.

[record scratch]

Sammy No! We aren’t doing this, Ben.

Ben Sammy! I’m gonna have to file a report if we don’t play this apology at the top of every hour.

Sammy Write it up!

Ben I don’t want to!

Sammy Then don’t.

Ben Sammy— can we talk about this? Folks, uh, we’re just gonna take a quick break for—

Sammy No break, no apology, you wanna play that tape?

Ben No, but we have to!

Sammy Fine. You know what? We’ll do this one live, kids, and *angry laugh/huff* boy are you in for a treat.

Ben I don’t know, I—

Sammy [mildly outraged] So there’s a note, on the board, when we came in. We’re to record an apology to you, the dear listeners and residents of King Falls—

Ben Merv simply asked that we apologize for… creating a controversy at the 55th annual—

Sammy We talk about the news here. Relevant subjects that affect this town. What we don’t do- *angry laughing* What we would never do, is apologize for trying to cover a breaking news story! A dead body at a public event that King Falls AM is covering is News.

Ben Maybe Mayor Grisham went a little overboard kicking us out- I’m not saying he didn’t, but—

Sammy [outrage continues] If I owned this station! If I owned the station? I’d go after him. I mean, why isn’t Merv mad at Grisham. Why is this on us? [softer] Have you even met Merv, Ben?

Ben Yes— I mean… not in person, but— Look, we have a show to keep on track: in a few minutes we’ll be speaking with both of the winners of the 55th annual Bass Tournament—

Sammy How ‘bout this. How ‘bout we open up the phone lines and talk about how the good Mayor Grisham is strongarming the media—

[static]

Announcer This Sunday evening, at 7PM, we say goodbye to longtime host of King Falls Sewing Corner, Esther Rollens, the way she would’ve wanted us to.

Esther [old, wavering voice] Talkin’ about life, talkin’ about love, and crochetin’ a mean doily while we’re at it!

Announcer While we will all miss Esther’s sweet stitchery tips and needlepoint mastery, we’ll miss Esther even more.

Esther We’ll darn your socks, and maybe even darn your men to heck, while we’re at it.

Announcer We’ll reminisce and play clips from Sewing Corner’s illustrious twenty-four year run. As well as a live music tribute from Esther’s favourite band.

[heavy metal music] ♪WAKE UP. YOU’LL SEE.♪

Esther Ohh, I just love these boys! All possible states. [heavy metal music fades out] Always remember: bad times never last. But badasses certainly do! We’ll see you soon, King Falls!

Announcer Hopefully not too soon, Esther. 7PM, this Sunday. Help us say goodbye to King Falls’ most bitchin’ granny.

[heavy metal music resumes] ♪*SCREAMING* I WILL NEVER REESST. UNTIL I WALK IN THE SUNSET. BURN ME UP IN FLAAMES.♪

[heavy metal fades out]

Ben I didn’t cut you off, Sammy!

Sammy Real mature, Ben.

Ben You were looking right at me, I didn’t even touch the board! And you know Esther Rollens was slated for 4:32 AM! I’d never.

Sammy [sarcastically] Oh, oh, okay, it must’ve been General Abilene, right?

Ben You know he’s in Sweetzer Fore- Sheesh. Can’t you just take some calls? You’re killing me. Line 6!

Cecil Sheffield [Cecil’s voice is old and slurred] Benjamin Arnold! Mr. Sheffield here! Why’re you on- the radio?

Ben [muttered] Crap. Bass Tournament winners were scheduled for two minutes ago. I-I’m gonna call the other—

Sammy Oh! So we can talk about the tournament, we just can’t talk about the dead body.

Ben Sammy.

Sammy Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mr. Cecil Sheffield to the show, uh, co-winner of the 55th annual King Falls Bass Tourney.

Ben It’s great to have you. Mr. Sheffield.

Cecil It’ss good to be taalkin’ to you fellas too! Benn, how’re yer grades holdin’ up this year?

Ben Uhh, I- *confused laugh* I- I graduated uh- already. Sev-several years ago—

Cecil No more late papers thiss semester, Mr. Arrnold.

Sammy Yeah, Ben! No more late papers!

Ben *deep breath* For those of you who don’t know: Mr. Sheffield was my history teacher at King Falls High School. [embarrassed and tense] Shouldn’t he be retired by now?

Cecil [singing] ♫Riiiiiising miidst the goooolden orrrange, graaandly iiin tooo th— bluuuee, reeeeeaches our dear aaaaalma maater—♫

Sammy *clapping sarcastically* There ya have it folks! Mr. Cecil Sheffield, winner of this year’s King Falls Idol.

Cecil Go Faaallls! I rreally lovve talkin’ t’ you guuys.

Ben [awkwardly] And we… love talking to you.

Sammy How ‘bout we talk about the big win at the tournament, huh? You split the grand prize, $500 and a bass boat, is that correct?

Cecil Ohh it was awwesome. Staandin’ up there at the podium with ma’ good friend Herrschel! I’m happy t’ shaare the prriize wi’ such a great man! I haven’ gotten a channce to uuse the new booat- uhh… yet—

Ben Aaand, we’ve got Herschel Baumgartner!

Sammy Sorry to cut you off, Cecil. Herschel, you’re live on King Fal-

Herschel [angry as always] You usurpin’, unsportsmanlike, son of a b[bleep]h filth! I know all you were colludin’ against me this year. It’s a conspiracy!

Sammy I’m sorry, what now, Mr. Baumgartner?

Herschel You know exactly what I’m talkin’ about, Big City.

Ben We actually don’t, Mr. Baumgartner.

Herschel Don’t mouth off to me, you conspirin’ little bag of d[bleep]ks!

Sammy Hey! Hey, hey, Herschel! No one is conspiring against anybody here! You should be happy right now, this is what, your fourth time winning the tournament? Granted, let’s be honest, a cadaver should probably give this one an asterisk.

Ben [eagerly] 1989,1992, and now back-to-back titles in 2014 and 2015. You’re the first ever to have four titles!

Herschel [hesitantly] W-wellll, when you put it like that, I guess. I never thought o’ it that way. I was just so red-faced about someone pokin’ a hole in the bottom of my boat right after I caught my last fish. Old Cecil wouldn’t’ve come close if some boobstain hadn’t’a messed with my damn boat!

Ben Kingsie got ya!

Herschel [mocking] It wasn’t Kingsie; that serpenty little b[bleep]h!

Cecil Iss that Herrschel? Hooww ya doin’ buddy? I’miss ya. Why dontcha answer when I calll?

Herschel [back to angry] Cecil! You cheatin’ dog pecker! I’d know-what-it was you who sunk my battleship! You couldn’t stand to have me win all by myself this year you limp-d[bleep]ked drunkard!

Ben Ooh-[worried]Haah! We’re gonna have to ask you. to watch your language. Mr. Baumgartner.

Herschel Now you listen here, you motherf[bleep]—

[dial tone]

Sammy Hello?

Ben Sorry Sammy. Merv’s already not happy, let’s not have the FCC[1]join him?

Sammy You know, you’re gettin’ real good with that dump button trigger finger tonight, Ben.

Ben I told you I didn’t dump you! Herschel, yes, but not you.

Sammy Y- *huff/laugh* You were so right about this full moon tonight, Ben.

Ben [mumbled] This is a nightmare.

Sammy [seriously] Hey. I’m sorry. Okay? I shouldn’t have gotten so fired up.

Ben You and Herschel both- You know how hard I work on this schedule? Don’t… puppy dog eye me, Sammy.

Sammy Hey, I’m just tryin’ to ice this apology cake, buddy.

Ben … 6:20, you buy me a stack of pancakes, at Rose’s Diner, and… we’ll call it even.

Sammy Sounds like a plan. So you’ve heard our story King Falls, now let’s hear—

Ben Good grief, we’ve got line 2, he’s in a panic.

Sammy Aren’t we all? You’re on the air with Sammy and Ben, what can we—

Line 2 [overly dramatic] No time for pleasantries- I need the law!

[small dogs barking in bg throughout call]

Ben Sir, uh, 911 is probably your best bet.

Sammy Or maybe tweet Troy and hashtag “KingFalls911” [half-muttered] I dunno.

Line 2 You silly Sallys. I’ve already called, the deputy is on the way. But I’m havin’ a terrible night, and I don’t appreciate the two of you makin’ it worse!

Ben Wait, is this- Archie Simmons?

Archie [sing-song] The one and onlyy.

Ben Is there something wrong out at the Pomchi Palace?

Sammy Pomchi? What the hell is a “pomchi”?

Archie Oh my gawd, read a book Sammy.

Ben It’s a dog— breed, half pomeranian, half chihuahua.

Sammy Oh! So Archie’s a professional dog breeder.

Archie Best bitches in the tri-state area!

Ben [flatly] That’s their motto.

Archie [softly aside, cooing] That’s a good baby, Daddy loves you! What’s that? That angry, mean werewolf violated you? Don’t you worry, Daddy will make. him. pay.

Sammy Did he just say “werewolf?”

Archie You betchyer bottom dollar I did!

Sammy Ben, I- I can’t.

Ben T-tell us what’s going on, Archie.

Archie Well, I live offa Route-72, damn near out of town. It’s usually nice and quiet [muttering](except for those damn trashy rednecks in their trailer park every damn Saturday night!)

Ben Buuut, tonight, it’s not nice and quiet?

Archie Hell no! I woke up to the most godawful squawlin’. I mean it sounded like a freight train hit a barrel a’ screamin’ billygoats. Half a step below a damn eight f[bleep] bottle rocket.

Ben That is vivid!

Sammy [being a smart-aleck] Dare I say, was it a half-man, half-wolf?

Ben [unimpressed] Good job, Sammy.

Sammy [quietly] Please don’t encourage this.

Archie It was so terrible a noise, I thought I might’a dreamed it. But then I heard it again!

Sammy Go on.

Archie So I threw on my slippers, and I went runnin’ towards the back of the house— an’ I’m scared, because I just paid— well, I paid a bundle for a couple’a these new pomchi bitches? So I’m worried that maybe Rufus (that’s my labradoodle)—

Sammy Labradoodl—?

Ben [quickly] Labrador-poodle mix.

Archie Damnit, Google it fellas and keep up. I’m worried that Rufus is maybe snuck in the backyard and roughed up the new pomchis? So I rushed toward the back and Rufus is in the Florida Room— just a-growlin’ mind you— so it wasn’t him. So I burst open the back door, and what do I see??

Ben What-ahh… wh-wh-what did you see?

Archie [increasingly distressed I see a half-man, half-dog, bent over hunchin’ the hell out of my twenty-four-hundred-dollar Princess Von Barktooth!

Ben Not Princess Von Barktooth!

Sammy Okay, so you run outside in your slippers, and you see some skeezy pervert, and he’s got your dog—

Archie In the biblical sense! But the maaan was A. Werewolf.

Sammy Are we really talkin’ about wolf-man werewolves, here? *laughs* I’m sorry Ben—

Archie You shouldn’ be sorryin’ to Beeen! He’s not the one who’s been sodomized by a damn man-wolf! And now I gotta stay up all night watchin’ the princess and dealin’ with the law! Lord knows I’m worried that this leads to long term emotional distress, or, worse. [distraught] An’ we can just throw out winnin’ the Westminster trophy!![2] That was not in our five year plAN!!!

Ben I have to. What- Was the five year plan?

Archie [soft and rushed] Princess Von Barktooth was supposed to fall in love with another purebred pomchi, who sweeps her off her feet, holds open all the doggy doors for her, shares all his treats. *giggles* [to the dog] Isn’t that right lil princess?

Sammy [derisively] This is just silly. I mean it was obviously just a creep with serious issues, not a mythical—

Archie Are you callin’ me a liar? I saw that abomination with my own two baby blues.

Ben S-Sammy likes to look at these paranormal events from all angles, Archie.

Archie Well the angle that I saw it at was a G-D crime against humanity and dogmanity alike! The beast man looked at me, evil in his eyes, and desire in his heart, tossed my princess like a ragdoll, howled at the moon like the wretched demon that he is and scampered off!!

Ben Ar-Archie have- have you had issues with the werewolves before?

Archie Oh-my-gosh, who hasn’t? Ol’ Dylan hillbilly Baxter used to pepper buckshot those chicken-thievin’ shapeshiftin’ sons-of-bitches!

Sammy Brass tacks[3] here; Is Princess Von Barktooth okay?

Archie Needless to saayy, we are more than a bit shaken by this turn of events.

Sammy Have you looked into silver bullets? eBay? Amazon Prime?

Archie You come out here the next full moon you sassy Sally and I’ll show you more werewolves than you can shake a d[bleep]k at… Aw, I just heard Deputy Troy pull up, I gotta go, boys. [click]

[dial tone]

Ben Th-thanks for letting all of us know that there’s been some activity on the wolf front, Archie.

Sam This is just too much. Look, stay safe, Archie, listening public. I’m not saying that there’s werewolves on the loose—

Ben There are.

Sammy *laugh/huff* Ben. Everyone stay safe. There’s definitely something in the air tonight.

Ben Oh no. Sammy *heavy breath* Can you take Line One?

Sammy Do I even want to ask?

Finn [panicked] Sammy?! Ben?! It’s bad! It’s real bad, y’ know?!

Sammy Are you alright, Finn?

Finn [still strained and panicked] I-I didn’t.. even see him comin’! Musta run head-long through the truck on my blind side!

Sammy Who did? What’s going on?

Ben Finn hit a dog, off Route 72.

Sammy You’re f[bleep]king kidding.

Finn [distraught, almost crying] This poor little guy! I feel so bad, y’know? [less scared, more nervous] Actually. He’s not that little.

Ben Finn, are you still in your truck?

Finn Oh yeah, but I stopped it when I hit the fella… I’ma shakin’ somethin’ awful here.

Sammy [“not” worried] I think you should start the truck up, and just keep on movin’.

Finn … I think he’s still alive! I’m goin’ out to do the right thing an’ check this out, Sammy.

Ben Sammy’s right. Keep—

Finn I’m outside the truck! Headin’ back towards the pooch!

Sammy Get back in the truck, Finn! [quietly aside] Uh, you know, because it could be a- a coyote or something, n-not a were- you know.

Finn Oh my. This poor fella don’t look too good. This looks— Whoa now!

Ben Move your maple lovin’ ass, Finn!

Finn It’s two-leg runnin’ at me boys! What the f[bleep]k!

Sammy Finn? Finn?!

[sounds of a struggle, garbled words, then howling]

[KFAM outro]

[CREDITS]

References

[1] FCC - The Federal Communications Commission is an independent agency of the United States government that regulates communications by radio, television, wire, satellite, and cable across the United States.

[2] Westminster trophy - The Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show is an all-breed conformation show that has been hosted in New York City annually since 1877.

[3] Brass tacks - n. details of immediate practical importance —usually used in the phrase “get down to brass tacks”

[twocupsofsuga]

Silver Bells || Baekhyun

Baekhyun x Reader - Wedding!AU

Series: Wedding Bells ~ A series in which you can see what it’s like to marry the EXO members :)  Series Masterlist will be posted later on in the future with the rest of the members!

Absolutely NO plagiarism of my work.

You tapped your foot nervously against the floor. You’ve been waiting for your dress to arrive for more than half an hour and you’ve been getting nervous as more and more time passes by.

“Will you please calm down?” a voice called out from your right. “I swear your gonna end up burning the ground with how many times you’ve walked over it.”

You stopped pacing and stared at your best friend in shock. “(B/f/n)!” you cried out. “My dress still isn’t here and I’m about to get married in five hours, why wouldn’t I be worried?!?”

(B/f/n) sighed and rolled her eyes. “You know your ‘soon-to-be-hubby’ would still marry you even if you went in your pajamas. Chill girl.”

You glared at her. “Don’t tell me to chill ok!” you huffed and walked away stomping to mope in the corner to weep. “Just wait till you get married and your dress comes late. Then we’ll see who’s chilling!”

Your so called best friend sighed once more and shook her head. “Seriously though,” she said. “wait for a while longer. Jongdae called me a while ago and told me he’s on his way with your wedding dress right now. He should be here in about less than five minutes I’m guessing.” But you were too busy moping to even bother hearing what she said.

You groaned loudly from your slumped position on the dressing room sofa.

“What if the dress never comes??” you whined. “Baekhyun’s probably goona be all dressed and suited up for today and I bet I’m not even going to be ready by the time I’m supposed to walk down an isle! I bet he’s going to end up hating me for the rest of my life for ruining his one big day and then he’s going to end up marrying some random girl he’ll find on the streets and then end up being her husband because she might be prettier than me and at least she never has her wedding dresses delivered to her late-“

(B/f/n) gave you a ‘shut-up-before-I-kill-you look’ and so you immediately closed your mouth. You knew you were being ridiculous, but still. Today was yours and Baekhyun’s wedding, and you wanted everything to be perfect. God knows how long it took you, your mother and even his mother to plan the wedding. Both of the mothers, just like you, fussed over every little detail and planned it out smoothly in the nick of time since they were both so well organized.

Ahh yes, the wedding that was going to be held today. More precisely, yours and Baekhyun, your boyfriend of over four years’. Isn’t that exciting? Though, if you thought planning a wedding was exciting, guess again. Weddings can be fun yes, but not the task of always planning one. You had everything already set at that time, cake, wedding hall, bridesmaids and grooms, you can name it all. But when it came to choosing a theme, you wanted to crack open your skull.

Your thoughts slowly drifted to the time when you finally decided on a wedding theme. It was on the day you and Baekhyun had gone out together.

“So~” you remembered Baekhyun saying as you went on your last date as girlfriend and boyfriend a couple of months ago. “What’s the theme for our wedding?”

You sighed and shook your head. “None of us really have any clue to be honest.” You said, referring to you, his and yours mothers. “We thought over a lot of ideas, but none of them seem to satisfy us.”

Baekhyun just hmm’d and grasped your hand as he led you towards the park and remained quiet as he listened to you rant.

“We went over everything Baekhyun, I swear!” you cried, waving your free hand in the air. “We even asked our friends, heck we even asked Mr Google, but there wasn’t anything that screamed… us…”

Baekhyun looked at you in confusion. “Us?” he asked, unsure if he heard right.

The two of you reached a nearby park bench and you both sat down. “Well, yeah.” You said, referring to his question as you looked at him. “It’s going to be our wedding soon, isn’t it Baek? When that day comes, our lives are going to change for the better. It’s going to be a day where I won’t be able to sit still and maybe even burst with happiness. It’s a day I want in which nothing goes wrong.”

You watched Baekhyun’s eyes swirl with emotion. You could see happiness, excitement, and even pride in them. But also, confusion?

Baekhyun grabbed your hand in his. “I know your excited love but,” he looked at you in adoration. “Even if you’re in your pajamas, I would still marry you, and I would do it hundred times over and over again. Hell, I’d probably be in my own PJ’s you know.”

You smacked him playfully in the shoulders when he started to laugh. You huffed and squeezed his hands. “Don’t worry Baek.” You chuckled, smiling at him as he smiled back. “I promise our wedding will be a great one.”

Baekhyun nodded. “I don’t doubt you or the others in on planning the wedding. As long as you’re happy, I don’t care what theme we end up having, I wouldn’t even mind if there wasn’t one. I just want to end up kissing you.”

You snorted and leaned your head on his shoulder. “Ya, me too.”

After a while of peacefulness, you felt Baekhyun playing with your fingers. He traced his finger over your ring finger, where the silver promise ring he gave you a few months ago was placed. He looked like he was in deep thought. He spoke up after some time.

“… Silver”.

“Huh?” you questioned and looked up at him, taking your head off of his shoulder. “What silver?”

“I want a silver themed wedding.” He confidently exclaimed, looking at you. “Think about it, from a color psychology viewpoint, it signals a time of reflection and a change of direction, and helps with the cleansing and releasing of mental, physical and emotional issues and blockages as it opens new doors and lights the way to the future.

And that’s just what you represent to me (y/n). The day I met you, I felt myself change in so many ways. I was out of control all the time, like a dog without its leash. I was reckless and careless, but once you appeared into my life, I noticed a drastic change in me. You made the best in me shine, and I can only thank you so much for that.

And for all the times my emotions were out of place, when I couldn’t contain my anger, sadness and all that, you were there to keep me in line. When most left, you were there to replace every single one of them. You’ve paved out a new future for me (y/n), a future that I can finally have with you.”

You were shocked that your significant other was able to make out all of that from one color, you were about to say something but jumped when he suddenly got excited and yelled,

“Won’t that be awesome (y/n)!” he began jumping in his seat and waved his and your intertwined hands in the air in glee. “Aigoo~ The decorations would look so pretty wouldn’t they? It’ll be like a Disney movie! You like those right?? Aiii~ Imagine you in a silver dress with a silver tiara and all that, you’d look just like a princess~ And I’ll be the shining and dashing prince at the wedding and all the guests would immediately fall in love with me -but I’ll only marry you don’t worry (y/n)- and just imagine the cake oh my god I cant even-“

Baekhyun was cut off by the sound of you laughing loudly. He looked at you confused.

“What??” he demanded and shook you by your shoulders. “Why are you laughing? Stop laughing at meeeee.”

You shook your head and pinched his cheeks happily. “No Baekhyun.” You giggled. “In fact,” you lean over to kiss him.

“It’s perfect.”

That memorable event was the same day where you placed your foot down and decided that your wedding will be silver themed. What’s not to like about it? Its simple, would look great, and it would look like it came straight out from a fairy tale.

Now, if only your dress could come a bit qui-

“I’m here!” a voice called out and they popped into the room you and (b/f/n) were in.

“Finally!!” you screeched and snatched the dress in its case from Jongdae’s hand, ignoring his ‘Where’s my thank you?!’ and dashing into a changing room to get changed into so the wedding make up stylists could quickly do their magic on your face.

‘Wait for me Baekhyun,’ you thought and hurried into your dress as your best friend slipped in to help you.

‘I’m coming.’

“I can’t do this.”

(B/f/n) threw her hands in the air. “Oh for the love of- what now??”

You said nothing as you stared at the brand new you clad in your wedding dress and makeup done perfectly. To say the least,

You looked gorgeous. Breathtaking even.

“I look horrible.”

“Stop denying your pretty face, you’re gonna turn heads when you finally walk down the aisle ya hear? Now shut up.”

You sighed. What was wrong with you?

Your damn feelings were all over the place and you felt like exploding. There were too many emotions flowing through your body. Fear, excitement, giddiness, and impatience. You felt like running out of the waiting room, find Baekhyun and just jump into his arms. You didn’t think it would be hard to not see your beloved one for a few hours, but boy where you wrong.

“A-are you sure I look ok-”

“If you ask me one more time I swear I’m going t-”

“(Y/n)?”

Both you and (b/f/n) looked towards the door where the muffled voice came from behind it. Your eyebrows furrowed. “Baekhyun?”

The door handle shook and was turned slightly, the door opening slowly before (b/f/n) let out a shriek.

“What are you doing?!” she screamed, running towards the door and slamming it close in your soon-to-be-husband’s startled face before he could see you. “You know it’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding starts!!”

Baekhyun let out a yelp and whined about his nose from the other side.

“L-lemme see (y/n) real quick for a sec!” Baekhyun yelled, banging the door gently. “I-I need to talk to her!”

(B/f/n) rolled her eyes. “You can see her when you get married in a few hours. Now scat!”

You got up from your position from a sofa in the waiting room and walked over to your friend when Baekhyun’s pleas reached your ears and became too much.

“It’s fine (b/f/n),” you said, placing a hand on her shoulder as she turned to face you. “we’ll just talk through the door.”

Your best friend looked at you for a while before sighing and nodding.

“Fine.” She said, and stepped back before opening the door, making sure the boy on the other side couldn’t see you before slipping outside. Once (b/f/n) was on the other side, she pointed a threatening finger at her best friend’s man. “No peeking, ya hear? You’ll bring bad luck to your own wedding.”

Baekhyun nodded frantically, finally relaxing now that he could talk to you.

“(Y/n)?” he called out for you once (b/f/n) walked away, going closer to the door which you were behind. “Are you there?”

You nodded at the sound of Baekhyun’s muffled voice. “I’m here Baek. What’s wrong, everything ok? You sound worried.”

You heard him chuckle slightly from the other side.

“I guess I'm too nervous and excited.” Baekhyun spoke. “My emotions are eating me out.”

You giggled. “Explain please.”

Baekhyun smiled at the sound of your laughter. “Well for starters,” he said jokingly. “I’m worried about my safety after this wedding, God knows if I can ever look at other females without you killing me!”

You snorted. “As if I can get away with guys without you becoming jealous either!”

A huge grin broke out on his face at the mere thought. “I won’t be able to help it (y/n). I’m your man, and you’re my women, I don’t plan on making you fall in love with anyone else but me.”

You looked at the door at where his face would’ve been if Baekhyun had been on the same side as you. “It’s not like you’d have any competition Baek.” You said gently, placing a hand on the door. “The only one I want is you. Everything that I could ever hope and wish for resides in you, you hear? You’ll never have to worry about me finding or looking at anyone else. You’re the only man I would want in my life.”

Baekhyun remained silent as he took in your words. He breathed in deeply and leaned his head on the door and closed his eyes.

“I love you (y/n).”

Your eyes widened and your heart thumped faster. You leaned your head on the door as well, closing your eyes as well and smiled.

“I love you more Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun swallowed, his throat feeling dry and was about to say something else when Kyungsoo walked in yelling, “Ya! What are you doing here?! The wedding starts in an hour and you’re not even ready yet!!”

You drew your head back from the door in shock. “You’re not ready yet Baekhyun!?”

Baekhyun looked between the door and Kyungsoo and laughed nervously.

“You idiot!” Kyungsoo yelled and walked over to Baekhyun in long strides and pulled his ear and dragged him away. “Come on and hurry up!”

“But I was talking to (y/n)!” he yelled in desperation.

“Shut up!” his friend said and soon Baekhyun was whipped away from the room.

You smacked yourself on your forehead. How could someone be so excited for their own wedding that they forgot to get dressed themselves??

You sighed and went back to sit on the sofa and began to wait for (b/f/n)’s return in anxiousness.

But slowly by slowly, a smile began to break over your face and you soon found yourself giggling, and then soon blown out laughing at Baekhyun’s silly nature.

And you couldn’t wait to deal with it for the rest of your life.

“Baekhyun oh my God STOP YOU’RE GOING TO GET SICK.”

Snatching the tenth plate of cake away from your now official husband, you watched as Baekhyun let out a childish whine and tried to get his cake back from you.

It had already been at least half an hour since you and Baekhyun gave your vows and were officially dubbed husband and wife. Since then, everyone has been enjoying themselves with food from the huge spread and buffet that was laid out for everyone attending the wedding.

Unfortunately for Baekhyun, rather than starting on his dinner like a proper adult, he dove in straight for the cake, which was handed out since the beginning of dinner time.

“(Y/N) GIVE IT BACK!” Baekhyun the big baby yelled out, reaching over your head to snag his cake back and you moved the cake even further away from him.

“I swear if this cake spills on my dress I will divorce you right here and now.”

“Hmph. That’s not what you were saying earlier, Miss ‘I-vow-to-love-you-no-matter-what-happens’.”

“Baekhyun!”

The rest of the people present who were eating watched in amusement at the newly wedded couple from their tables that were placed in front of the hall where both families and friends of the wedded couple were seated.

After a while of childish fighting, Baekhyun got his cake back and happily began to eat it and you just gave him a weird look.

“Don’t you want any dinner?” you asked him in confusion. “The cake’s not gonna make you feel full.”

Baekhyun pondered for a while, spoon dangling from his mouth as he thought about it.

“Hmm.” He hummed, placing his plate back down carefully and dropping his spoon on it and tapped his chin in a playful way. He looked at you while smirking.

“I couldddd….” He said and leaned in to whisper in your ear.

“Or I could be full when I eat you out later tonight~”

Baekhyun pulled back and wiggled his eyebrows and you gasped and slapped his shoulder and yelled profanities at him for mentioning such a lewd thing at such a time, all while failing to notice the blush on your face increasing by every second.

Baekhyun was far too busy laughing at your bashful expression.

You glared at him, hoping that your face would stop burning. “That’s it, I demand a divorce!!”

Baekhyun’s smile widened and he waved his finger in front of your face and booped your nose. “Too late~ I’m yours forever hehe~”

You couldn’t help but smile back and you laughed in disbelief. “I’m seriously going to have to handle your childish attitude for the rest of my life aren’t I?”

Baekhyun threw up one hand in the air and did a dramatic pose. “But off course my dear!”

Suddenly Chanyeol stood up and called for everybody’s attention.

“Lads and lassies!” he called out, successfully getting everyone’s eyes on him. He had a big grin on his face as he raised his glass in the air. “As the groom’s best man, I would like to share a toast with everyone to honor the new couple, so can everyone please raise their glasses?”

Everyone smiled and raised their glasses and you watched as the younger children and babies raised their cups full of juices.

You smiled as you watched the young ones, a fluttering feeling erupting in your chest at the idea of soon having children of your own in the future.

You felt someone grabbing your hand and you looked to your right to see Baekhyun looking down at your intertwined hands.

“Don’t worry,” he said smiling as he looked up at you and brought your hand up to give it a kiss. “We’ll soon have our own.”

You smiled and nodded, he must’ve noticed your longing gaze towards the children. You leaned forward and gave Baekhyun a loving kiss. “I can’t wait.” You said, whispering against his lips.

You pulled back, feeling happier than ever as you and Baekhyun looked back at Chanyeol.

You both watched as he nodded at the guests and then raised his glass towards where you two sat, watching as a big happy smile was painted on his face.

“A toast.” Chanyeol began and you could hear the pure happiness that leaked through his words. “To my best friend and his beautiful wife. I wish you both all the happiness in the world, as I think you people deserve it the most. I pray that your future is bright, and that you two will not only bring happiness to those around you, but to each other as well. I can’t name a cuter couple than the two of you, and I hope you can bring us even cuter children as well.”

At the end you and Baekhyun were a blushing mess and the crowds were all laughing heartily and then Chanyeol yelled out, “To Mr Byun!” everyone cheered and raised their glasses towards Baekhyun.

Chanyeol’s eyes moved to yours and you nodded your head in gratitude, the smile never leaving your face.

Chanyeol nodded back and winked at you and raised his glass towards you.

“And to Mrs Byun.”

More cheers filled the area as everyone toasted to you as well and you all began to clap and you and Baekhyun bowed at everyone in thanks.

“I told you that you would look beautiful in silver.”

You looked at Baekhyun, watching him as he stared at you lovingly as he inspected you from head to toe. “It feels like I’m marrying a princess straight from a fairy tale.”

You snorted. “If I’m the princess than you must be my knight in shining, silver armor.”

Your husband grinned. “I prefer prince actually.”

Baekhyun turned to face you, his own glass in hand. He looked at you and beamed. “Shall we have a toast as well, my princess?”

You laughed and raised your own. “We may, my handsome prince.”

As you both brought your glasses to clink together, Baekhyun brought his glass forward to hit with yours a bit too fast, resulting his clear drink to spill a little on your dress.

Both of you froze as you watched the liquid slowly soak into your dress, and then you looked up at each other.

Baekhyun laughed nervously as a guilty smile etched its way on his lips. “Haha… woops?”

You glared at him.

“I demand a divo-”

“(Y/n) nooooo I love you please don’t leave me!!”

You let out a yell when Baekhyun suddenly threw his hands around you and you tried to make sure that none of you ended up falling down from your chairs.

Looking after this man child was going to be interesting for sure.

The End <3

~ Main Masterlist~ 

(Please re-blog if you liked this one-shot, it would help my work to be shared around. Thank you!)

Dedicated to the most beautiful (and the most biggest perv I have ever met omfg) @byunfirstlady. This is my way of saying thank you for staying with me and having high hopes for me, it really means a lot. You make me smile and laugh at how weird you are. And thank you for being my first ever mutual, you have no idea how much you mean to me <3 Thank you for being a really great friend of mine. I hope you like it! 

-TwoCups

[tomlinshawexchange]

Tomlinshaw Exchange 2017 Fic List

Thank you to everyone who participated: writers, pinch hitters, betas, britpickers, and readers!

Here’s the full collection on AO3. 

Do You Smile To Tempt a Lover by allwaswell16  Nick Grimshaw is entranced by Louis, his very beautiful, very cheeky new coworker at The National Portrait Gallery. He watches him day after day, wondering what he’s furiously typing on his laptop over lunch. With a little help from the very bored barista in the gallery cafe, Nick finds himself growing closer to Louis than he ever dreamed possible.

Now that you’re here, I never want you to leave by wearetheluckyones “You like him,” He sing-songs, tugging off the pasta container’s lid. “Go fuck yourself.” Nick tells him as he finds plates, no actual bite behind his words. “Did you get the extra garlic bread? You ate it all last time.” “You gonna ask him out?” Harry asks, taking the two foil wrapped garlic breads from the bag and putting them on the counter. “I’m gonna give you the same answer I gave you last time you asked me that.” “You’re into him, he’s into you, what’s the big deal?” Harry asks, frowning, accepting the plate Nick hands him and dumping half the container of bacon and feta gnocchi onto it, and half the container of penne arrabbiata next to it. “You should just ask him out. There’s no harm in trying.” -*-*- Or, the one where Louis’s a drummer, Nick’s a radio DJ, and Louis’s dogs are menaces.

some velvet morning, years too late by tintedglasses A better adult probably would have changed their emergency contact information once they had convinced said contact that they wanted nothing to do with them, but Louis had never been very good at proper adult things. Besides, it’s not like he thought he’d ever need it. Or: Louis wakes up in the hospital with unfinished business at his bedside. Turns out Nick has some unfinished business, too.

(no such thing as) ordinary, love by dizzy Nick is an Uber driver in London and Louis ends up passed out in the back seat of his car.

The Sky At Night by sunsetmog There’s a little piece of paper on his bedside table, torn from the bottom of a notepad. Insomnia Alliance, it says, in Louis’s chicken scratch handwriting. 9pm-7am, then the telephone number. Or: Louis can’t sleep, and Nick’s the one who answers the phone in the middle of the night.

you can’t take the sky from me by mrsenjolras “Alright,” Nick says eventually. “You can stay till our next stop. But it’s not gonna come free.” Louis stiffens. He’s got money, sure, but he’s worried that that’s not the kind of payment Nick is looking for. “Oh, don’t look so scared,” Nick says, though. “We’re not stopping till we’re in the next system. Can you work?” “Oh,” Louis says, relieved. “Yeah, I can do pretty much anything.” “Great, well, welcome aboard the Pig Dog,” Nick says, extending a hand out for Louis to shake. Louis takes it, decidedly not thinking about how it’s larger than his own and also very warm and quite soft, and instead cocks his head. “Wait, your ship is called the Pig Dog?” [Or: the one where Louis stows away and gets more than he bargained for.]

Cigarette in my left hand, whole world in my right hand by wearetheluckyones Harry’s had some really bad ideas before, starting with the time he got pissed and jumped into the Thames stark naked, but this might take the fucking cake. Offering up Louis as a viable option for a model for Nick’s last photography project is ludicrous at best and a disaster waiting to happen at worst.

Know You Know You Got It Bad by taggiecb “I heard you on the radio.” Louis says. Okay, definitely not what he expected to hear. “Yes, I am on five days a week, sometimes more.” Nick replies. Seriously, what is up with this kid? “No no. That’s not what I meant.” Louis shakes his head and sighs heavily, as though Nick is the one being cryptic. “I heard what you said. To Fifi.” Louis pauses, but Nick takes a cue and stays quiet. He has a feeling that the more he talks, the longer this thing is going to draw out. Suddenly Louis is getting close, really close. Like, so close that Nick is wondering if Louis is about to kiss him. He doesn’t of course, he’s moving to talk into Nick’s ear. Which, Nick isn’t going to lie, affects him almost as much as a kiss might. The boy is fit. “About the chains and whips.” Now it’s Nick’s turn to blush and fumble Or Where a glib comment on the radio leads to one very interesting few weeks for Nick.

Those Summer Nights by YesIsAWorld Nick’s whirlwind summer romance ended when he left his dad’s beach house. Now it’s the first day of senior year, and Nick needs to avoid both the most popular boy at school and his friends’ probing questions.

Give Me One More Night With You by EmmyLouWho Louis turns up at Nick’s door on Saturday night, carrying a bottle of wine that he’d picked out at random at a Sainsburys on the way there. He’d spent ages trying to figure out what you were supposed to wear when you’re going over to somebody’s house so they can thank you for looking after their dog but really you were effectively keeping their dog hostage and you also think that that person is really cute and you’re trying not to be weird about it. His Google search had been, perhaps unsurprisingly, not very helpful. Or, the one where Pig turns up on Louis’ doorstep one day, and Louis has a crush.

Somebody Hurt You (I Know A Place) by writcraft An unexpected encounter brings Nick and Louis together but before they can tell anyone about their relationship an attack on Louis tears them both apart. Nick struggles to deal with the fact Louis no longer remembers their time together as Louis struggles with his injuries and nightmares in the aftermath of the attack. Together they help one another to heal and learn how to love all over again.

There Now, Steady Love by Jiksa Nick’s just had his heart broken, Louis is surprisingly careful with it. Or, the one where Nick’s a small time radio DJ & Louis’s a single dad trying to make it as a musician.

Go On, I Dare You by pwoperninjaelf Nick and Louis are camp counsellors that have spent their past few summers working at an American summer camp, eager for the paid trip abroad, but far less keen on one another. On the final day of camp last summer though, they ended up drunkenly hooking up, but never spoke about it again. Nick’s still not entirely sure what went down and why Louis bailed on him, but it’s okay. He’s just going to ignore it. Ignore Louis, which shouldn’t be too hard considering that’s what he’s been doing for the past few years already anyway. This summer is going to be just like all the others, honestly, nothing’s changed… An American summer camp AU, featuring two stupid boys who keep getting their wires crossed, a host of other familiar faces, all the old school band t-shirts and a camp that should probably keep a better check on their counsellors.

your crooked sleep beside me by nicalyse Louis Tomlinson is unexpected. In which Louis comes on the Breakfast Show and Nick starts to fall for him.

not that good of a person (but i might be for you) by neonmoonlight “Do you fucking mind?” Louis asked tensely, glaring at Nick. “You know, I thought naming your old ship after a greek goddess was some quirk of yours,” Nick started then gestured towards the book that Louis placed on his shelf. “But clearly, you have a thing.” “You make one more comment I will abandon you on a dying planet,” Louis said, turning back to his bag of things. He heard Nick scoff behind him before he left and let the door slide shut. Louis closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself down before he went back to fix up his space. The one thing Louis wanted was for Nick to leave him alone, but that clearly wasn’t going to happen. or the one where nick and louis hate each other until they don’t and there’s a spaceship.

If This Is To End In Fire by Jiksa Apocalypse makes it sound a lot more glamorous than it actually is.

What about us? by octoberrose11 Ducking his head he mumbles out, “One of them might have passed out but her friend caught her before anything bad could have happened. Anyways! Don’t change the subject!” “What subject?” Anton drops himself gracefully into Liam’s lap, holding onto his shoulder to steady himself. “Who kicked Harry’s puppy?” “He’s mad that Tommo and Grim are practically fucking on the dance floor.” “They are not! They’re friends, barely friends. They only can stand each other because of me.” Twin unimpressed looks came across the other two’s faces. “I’m going to pretend that it’s the drinks that are making you act like that, Styles, because the man I know wouldn’t say such a thing about one of our best friends.” Liam waved Harry off when he opened his mouth to protest. “You dated both of them, Harry. You broke both of their hearts.”

It’s Like I’m Shootin’ With Broken Arrows by Saori  Road trips are fun if you’re going with someone you can connect with. Riding on the highway with the radio on, eating junk food, taking selfies and making meaningless conversations, bantering about directions… That’s not exactly the case with Nick and Louis. There might be less connecting and more bickering. or, Nick and Louis miss the last plane, and they have two days to get to France. Traveling together might be the worst and best decision in their lives.

It couldn’t get better they say by happilylouie  When Louis Tomlinson releases his new single “Miss you” he is set to appear on Nick Grimshaw’s morning show. Nick has a long time crush on Louis and maybe, just maybe, Nick can gather the courage to say something this time. What if Louis song is inspired not about a general situation, but maybe about a certain radio show host that he himself has had a crush on for a while. or Should be laughing, but there’s something wrong - How about we’ll make it right?!

I’ll Be Your Pride by YesIsAWorld  Louis needled Nick into riding the Ferris wheel with him so he wouldn’t have to ride alone. Of course, they get stuck at the top and Louis has to help Nick through his paralyzing fear of heights.

This is different than in the movies! by definitelynotafan  In which Nick’s new flat is haunted and the ghost has a weird thing about shoes.

All the Silver Moons by YesIsAWorld Nick wakes up in a strange hotel room and is apparently visiting Louis on tour. Which is really weird, because Louis doesn’t like him and they’ve never hung out without Harry as a buffer. And clearly Louis thinks they’re *together* together and Nick hasn’t the faintest idea what’s going on.

[saikaigigi]

The time I rescued a kitten in Japan.

The time I rescued a kitten in Japan. This is a long post.

I’ve always thought that if a stray cat came to my apartment, I would be tempted to take it in. But those cats are usually self sufficient and able to fend for themselves. They don’t really *need* me to help them. They can hunt on their own and don’t exactly need food from me (although I do have some treats in case a kitty shows up - it happened once!).

I chronicled my adventure on Facebook, but here I would like to write in detail about my experience rescuing a kitten in Japan.

This is Ame on the day I found her 

I was on my 30 minute commute to my second high school when suddenly I spotted a VERY scared looking kitten sitting in the road against the curb. There was no question about what I had to do. There were so many cars and I KNEW that she was going to get hurt. I’ve seen dead cats on the road here too many times now. So I turned around and pulled over across the street from her, and walked toward her. I wanted to be on the opposite side of the road in case she ran away from me - this way she’d go on the sidewalk. I was sort of in a panic but I managed not to get hit either lol. She stood up when she saw me coming to her and didn’t run away. She looked at me like she wanted my help. I picked her up really fast and went to the sidewalk where I held her to me and looked around for a mother cat. There wasn’t one in sight. I walked a little and ran into an old man, who I asked for advice. He said I probably would have to take her. I really didn’t have much time - I was running late to work now - so I decided to take her in my car and figure out what to do with her once I got to the school. (Actually, at this point in time I didn’t know if she was a boy or a girl.) When I got into the car, I noticed that her eyes were caked in yellow mucous.

I sat the cat down on the passenger seat and turned the car around. She climbed up my arm while I was driving, and my lap suddenly got REALLY WARM. Yeah. She peed on me. I don’t know if it was out of fear or comfort, but I got peed on by a stray kitten. In my car on the way to work with no change of clothes on me. And the pee was RIGHT where it looked like I peed myself. But I wasn’t mad at her. I actually thought it was quite hilarious. I pulled over (after I promptly removed her from my lap) and called the teacher I work with most at my second high school. Actually, I couldn’t get signal so I had to drive a little to be able to make the call. The route to the school is mainly country road surrounded by trees and mountains. Finally, we were able to communicate and I told him what happened and asked what I should do. He actually had no idea and didn’t have much time to talk because of the morning meeting. He said I could take her to city hall. So I made my way to city hall. I carried her in as she cuddled me (the cat pee on my pants wasn’t actually visible anymore) and filled out some paperwork about when I found her. I waved goodbye to her and wished her good luck. I really had to go since I was late to work at that point.

When I got to school, the vice principal asked me where the kitten was. It seemed she wanted to see it. I wish I had just brought the kitten to school. When people see a kitten, they are more likely to feel sorry for it and maybe they would have actually helped me find a foster.

I got a change of clothes from the nurse and made my way to class. All day, my mind was on the kitten. What would happen to her? Did city hall feed her? Is she really going to be alright? I got to talk to my classes about finding her, and the teacher I had called that morning advised me to go get the kitten back. He said that it’s likely she will be killed. He actually said it this way, with the word “killed” because I doubt he knows the term “put down”. And after some research, I’ve realized that using the word “kill” is more accurate.

This information is quite sad and honestly put me into quite a depression. So read on at your own discretion.

Japanese pounds, called hokenjo - a misleading word that is translated in dictionaries as “health care center” - try to find homes for the pets in their care but after 7 days (or 2 weeks? I was told 2 weeks, but the internet says otherwise), the animals are killed in batches. They’re taken to a room called the “dream box” and gassed. The dog barks turn into whimpers, and then silence.

I was NOT going to let that happen to the precious little girl kitty I found on the road. She deserves to be cared for and to have a chance at life. I was seriously disturbed at the information I found. You can read more here : http://www.animalrightsforjapan.com/EN/index_en.php#?page=problem/petculling.php

So, I did what I had to do. There really was no way I wasn’t going back to city hall for that kitten. So I did. I picked her up after work and took her straight home. When I arrived at city hall, she was in a hard plastic pet carrier with a box over it, sitting on a stack of boxes in a random garage behind a car. As soon as I followed the worker outside to get her, I could hear her meowing. He put her in a cardboard box for me and I took her home. She meowed the whole way home.

I had Philip arrive at my place before me. He stayed with the kitten while I ran to the store for some kitten milk - which I bought after realizing that kittens can’t have cow milk. It’s a good thing that Google exists.

I grabbed necessities, too, like cat litter and a random plastic box to use as a litter box. I also needed something to drip the milk into the kitten’s mouth, and I hurriedly wandered around the store looking for drippers. I finally found some that were meant for ink (don’t worry, I got a real one the next day).

I rushed home and heated the milk in the microwave (after spilling some everywhere) and quickly fed the starving kitten. I knew she was super hungry because she kept climbing me and rubbing her mouth into my neck. She even tried to get down my shirt…

After I got her to eat, she was really happy. She fell asleep on my lap. She was so loving.  The name came to me then - Ame. Ame with a downward inflection means “rain” but I was going for the upward inflection - “candy”. Because she was a sweetheart.

That night, a fellow ALT helped me bathe Ame. I’m really glad I had someone to help me do it, because Ame really needed the bath. She had fleas crawling all over her if you looked closely. We quickly figured out a good way to get them out and to die, which ended up being wet her with dish soap and water, then use tweezers to pick them out one by one. I think we got more than 50 off of her. That’s a lot for such a small animal. She didn’t like the water, but she needed the bath. I didn’t realize how dangerous fleas are to an animal. They actually feed on blood, and for a kitten that means they can suck the life right out of them. Ame may have already been dying when I found her. I have no idea when she had last eaten or if her mother deserted her or what.

I slept upstairs in my own room that night, but every night after I slept with Ame.( I often woke up with her laying on my pillow by my head, or under my blankets with me.)

The next day, I took Ame to the vet as soon as I was off of work. Since I live in the sticks in a town that has no money and a decreasing population, a trip to the vet meant a 45 minute drive north. Ame was in her box and eventually fell asleep. I had music on low.

I carried her into the vet without the box. She clung to me. We got signed in and she was put in a net laundry bag to prevent fleas spreading off of her (though all the fleas I saw after her bath were dead). Actually, I opened it and let her poke her body out. We waited for what was probably 30 minutes to be seen. It was busy that day. But Ame was really good. She stayed on my lap and eventually fell asleep again. She slept a lot those first few days.

In the consultation room, they took a look at her and began an eye/nose drop treatment. They made it look so easy to get those drops in her eyes and nose. They cleaned her ears for me, which Ame just HATED. She was in such distress over the discomfort. And her ears were SO dirty. It was unbelievable. So much brown gunk. It was during this that I began to get emotional. I was so glad that Ame was getting treatment and that she didn’t get run over by a car. Seeing her in her mild discomfort made me grateful that she didn’t get injured in the road. I was overcome with love for her. I wanted to protect her.

The vet gave her a flea treatment drop in her fur on the back of her neck. We left with her smelling like a hospital. It felt good. (Also, the vet fee was only about $50. Holy!)

So, I went home and for the next week I did nothing but spend time with that cat. I got her started on wet cat food, got her used to the litter box (and covered my entire living room floor of tatami mats in plastic), and almost got her to stop biting my toes. She made such good progress under my care. Giving her her eye/nose drops was the hardest part. She really didn’t like those… And the vet made it look so easy. 

When we went back to the vet a week later, they asked me “Is she more energetic now?” And I laughed. She was running around my apartment, getting into places she shouldn’t be, waking me up with her paws on my face, attacking my feet, climbing my pants and sitting on my shoulder. She got so much better.

My search for a foster family started on Facebook with English speaking communities of JETs and NAVY families. No one wanted to take her. I did find a foster for her, but she wouldn’t be able to go until the 28th. And then I began to worry that she would be deserted if a foreign family moved back abroad.

I had to set my sights on Japanese websites. It took me a few days to get my post finalized - I had to work through Japanese and figure out what information I needed to offer. Also, the photos I had got better as the days went on, as Ame began to look healthier. I was worried that people wouldn’t want a sick cat. But eventually I got it all sorted and posted her on neko-jirushi.com. A day later, I got an application from a local woman. And in a couple days, I had to take Ame to her new owner.

Actually, the day I handed over Ame it was pouring down rain. Her name means candy, not rain, but that day it felt like a culmination of all the effort and love I put into her even though I couldn’t keep her. I wonder if her new family will still call her Ame since they got her on a rainy day.

I cried alot after I got home later. I’m glad I had Phil with me. I’ve honestly never felt any emotions like that before. I know that Ame is safe and being taken care of, but separating from her felt like a close family member died. It’s not grief, obviously, but it hurts similarly. Call it separation anxiety, if you want. Maybe that’s all it is. I needed an entire day to get the emotions to pass. The next day, I cleaned my floors and washed a lot of laundry to start getting the allergens out for Phil. I expected to be overwhelmed by emptying her litter box or washing her bowls. But I was pretty much fine.

So yeah. That’s the time I rescued a kitten in Japan. It was emotional and risky (my apartment doesn’t allow pets), but I know I’d do it again.

UPDATE: I e-mailed the lady who adopted Ame and asked if Ame had settled in. She said that she’s gotten used to her new home and plays with the kids and dog a lot. Also, they’re calling her Ame! I thought they might name her something else, but I guess since it was pouring that day they kept the name lol. Or, maybe the name just stuck with them. Here she is!

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

ACCA 2 | Nanbaka 16 | SGRS 16 | Marginal #4 2 | Classicaloid 15 | Blue Exorcist: Kyoto Saga 2 - 3 | D Gray Man Hallow 1 | ReLIFE 2 - 6

The idea for D Gray Man Hallow from now on: Once all 2016 shows are done (rewatches or not), expect the 2016 ranking.

(ACCA 2)

What in Dante’s Inferno? I’m properly listening to the OP as it was intended in the anime…and it doesn’t quite look like what I expected.

I don’t like tomatoes, so no bread for me.

This is a cute…albeit unconventional way to introduce the series’ core concepts. Also, acorn berets.

Kabocha = pumpkin, while murasaki = purple. That’s made from purple lettuce, so I don’t blame ‘em for calling it that.

Mushroomhead = Rail.

I thought ACCA paid really high if he got cigarettes for free.

Oh no, is Nino going to go against Jean?

Bihinshitsu = equipment room.

2m 22 cm is over 6 foot…wow.

Walnut-topped cake filled with nuts.

The systems managers seem really incompetent…I suspect something’s up.

The guys all deilberately seem to have the same face.

A-hah. As I thought. (Dang you, title spoiler.)

If this ED were to evolve, it would be even better than Yuri on Ice’s OP. (That’s saying something.) Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to be happening…

Doesn’t seem like there’ll be any title spoilers next time either.

(Nanbaka 16)

I’m less likely to skip Rin! Rin! Hi! Hi! than some of the other Ops when I’m watching. That does make it slightly unwieldy as a rewatching show, though.

“Wow, he’s trash.” – Dat me.

Samon has a brother?

In a world full of filial piety, the worst one can do is to insult someone else’s family.

I’m not very good with “kept secret” stories, which is why I’m trying to do “Next to Me” well enough…at least to my standards, anyway. My standards are very high, you know.

They must’ve done something to the snacks…

(Showa Genroku: Sukeroku Futatabi-hen 3)

The fireworks are so lifelike in this ep!

Daiku Shirabe…I found out about the story from an ANN article, so I should’ve seen its appearance coming…“Tamaya” is something you yell during fireworks displays. Apparently it was the name of a fireworks company somewhere along the line.

The flattening refers to how Yota had to bow for forgiveness, but I think I kinda explained that already.

“Shinuchissei”…Yota seems to slur the end of his sentences.

I actually went “WHAT?!” at Yota not being fazed by the big daddy boss.

Note for later: The baby (I heard his name was Shinnosuke) was born November 23rd.

The jazz soundtrack really sells this show.

...so this is the rant from Daiku Shirabe. It’s fast (compared to even the usual), but it has lots of heart. Plus the showcasing of the tattoo really did its significance justice.

I think the bridge is called Matsubashi (Pine Bridge).

Yota could’ve fabricated the shaking of his hands.…wow. Yota has such yaoi hands. Just what you’d expect from a former BL artist.

I thought Yakumo was more of a cat person. Whose dog is Hanako?

Aw. I felt sorry for Matsuda, even if I have a suspicion he feigned those tears. Well, regardless, now I know Matsuda has grandkids anyway…so win win.

I knew he was either summoning the master Sukeroku II pissed off or Sukeroku himself.

“Tou-chan” was an unexpected nickname I didn’t think Konatsu would use.

Update: I thought about it, and even Shinnosuke’s name takes after the legacy. Remember? Sukeroku used to be called Shin! 

(Marginal #4 2)

One of the things that makes this show stand out is the space-styled episode titles.

Ooh. Pretty cherry blossoms.

Pan shots. Of course.

I know this isn’t the sort of show that gets too much coverage, and I even think it looks a bit ugly at times (not to mention a bit weird) but when you’re not caught up on most of the other big idol shows, this is the best you can do.

I think game boy (orange twin…er, aka R)’s trying too hard with his terms.

Now that Atom is talking about heart, it really does look like he’s a Toshiki Masuda character through and through, although he doesn’t look very angry when he sounds angry. I’ll chalk that up to the art department.

“Don’t think, feel” seems to be attributed to lots of places, so I don’t know the original source. However, since game boy (um, aka R) cites a movie star, it’s apparently Bruce Lee (if my Google-fu serves me right).

L makes stuff sound deeeeep.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! Rui wasn’t surprised by the juice.

Atom is such a Ryuu sometimes...

…okay, enough with the underwear jokes…The twin jokes are a bit weird. Plus the ships can be smelt from a mile away…but that’s not enough to save a show.

“Ore-sama”? I only just realised Atom uses such a term.

Enough about the lucky underwear! *flips table*

Oh, I saw Ayanokouji in the background at one point.

I’m with Rui most times, including the need for deduction.

I’m still questioning the sanity of someone who wrote an entire episode plot about lucky underwear.

Alright, since I feel brain dead after that, I’m going to drop it, meaning ACCA is the show that forges ahead. Well, I’m lucky I was hoping to watch FLCL to fill in the gap once I’m done with my 3 remaining rewatches at this point in time (ReLIFE, D Gray Man, Morose Mononokean). The latter two will have, from ep 7, fresh impressions, so hopefully you can look forward to them.  

(Classicaloid 15)

Selfies: a worldwide phenomenon…I never got into that stuff, but if I were to analyse ‘em, I’d say they tap into the human need to be self centred.

There’s something sad about seeing someone rejected, eve if that someone is a piece of trash like Sousuke…

The game the Classicaloids are playing appears to be a game of Life.

Unfortunately, Kanae’s right…again. Sad life for you, Sousuke.

Motz literally became a flippin’ Akoya, right down to wearing a dress. Plus, the Amazon brigade came back.

Aw, I really felt for the glasses guy, even if briefly.

“Basics of Programming”? Don’t need that for Garage Band, Sousuke.

Hanted house and cosplay café...

…eh? Tchaiko still calls herself a former member of Cla:Kla?

Oh. I never realised until now, but Hamamatsu + festival (matsuri) = Hamamatsuri.

With that song (Sousuke’s song), it’s a sad blooper reel.

(Blue Exorcist: Kyoto Saga ep 2)

I got a wallpaper of Shima trying not to laugh (it was from the official Blue Exorcist anime page, but only for a period around Shima’s b’day). So this ep is where it comes from.

“Bon” means “young master” anyway, so it doesn’t matter.

“…a herbal tea antidote…”

Kyoto is meant to be the imperial capital…at least around the 1700s, it was the imperial capital.

Mamushi means “pit viper”. She’s not one to mess with.

He’s got some reflexes, that Ryuji.

Uwabami is also a type of snake…I forgot which one though.

Wait, Uwabami’s the man?! Uwabami was a woman in Oumagadoki Zoo…

Seriously, are they all getting drunk on juice…? Oh, okay. So that’s what happened.

(ep 3)

Rin’s shirt says “Sankyu” in goroawase and English, LOL.

Even if you love weeds, please don’t smoke ‘em, kids.

I thought Rin was going to pull a Shaft head tilt out of nowhere when he looked back at Konekomaru.

Update: For efficiency, the tag for this one is “Chesarka watches AoEx”. However, I don’t normally refer to it as such. I’d probably refer to it as “Ao Eku” if I wee speaking (due to the season 1 DVD extras), but “Blue Exorcist” is the shortest mode of the name I’d use in typing format.

(D Gray Man Hallow ep 1)

I am familiar with this source material, so do be aware of that. However, I didn’t finish the anime the first time around, so do be aware of that too.

Sometimes the art style for this anime can be a little off. The noses can be a little too pointy and too close to the eyes, so on and so forth.Allen doesn’t even look like he’s blushing with this art style too…that’s a bit of a disappointment.

Even the golems have it in for each other…LOL.

Johnny has apparently been stealing the spotlight for quite some time, but I haven’t noticed it all that much. Probably because I read volumes 21 – 24 in one go…

I think.Cross Marian looks more like Grelle (Black Butler) than ever in colour.

Why does Lenalee have such a short skirt?

When even the masked guy has a sweatdrop, you know there’s trouble.

(ReLIFE ep 2)

Unfortunately for Kariu, I understand there is no “next time”…

I’ve found out even at 18, people don’t judge two people of different gender sitting together eating lunch…of course, cultural standards notwithstanding.

Stud earrings are fine if you play sports, I think.

According to Google-sensei, it’s only about $11, my country’s money. It’s not that much if you work…but knowing Japanese standards (which say you should focus on getting into uni before getting a job), it does seem a bit much for someone who doesn’t work and doesn’t get any allowance. So in a weird way, it does make sense to me.

...but you took Kariu’s hand when she offered you the rubber, Arata?

Hey, that joke was in Erased too.

Kazu-kun = Karamatsu…kinda. LOL.

I always seemed to understand Hishiron, and yet also understand Arata to some extent too. Maybe I’m the perfect in-between for these two. Probably because I tend to break off friendships as soon as the year ends, and yet prior friendships are a core part to my social strategy.

Unfortuately, the downside to “minimalistic” is that it’s obvious when it goes off model.

LINE sticker…LOL. LINE’s very popular in Japan.

(ep 3)

I’ve wondered whether Yayoi Sou is a lady or not. Considering the circumstances, it probably is that Sensei is a female.

Hideyo is the dude on the 1000 note, obviously.

Ah…fitness tests. The bane of youth. No one says “stupid loud” though.

Oh. Tamarai’s there around the time of Asaji’s throw.

Lookit that rabbit on Usa-sensei’s shirt. No one says “crazy athletic” either…you outdated subbers.

Akira (Inukai) is kinda like Yurio, come to think of it, eh?

Didn’t you just say it yourself (about you being old) though, Arata?

Yoake literally had a blank face there, LOL.

There appears to be a Sato GP on the way to Aoba. Huh.

Ah…a show’s a real classic if it makes you laugh every time…

(ep 4)

Where’s the guy who does sad interpretations of OPs and EDs? (This guy.)

I know your feels, Kariu. (see the Tumblr debacle for an instance of this)

There appears to be something about whales near the fishtank.

The cityscapes in this are so nice.

There’s a map of Japan on one wall of Kaizaki’s place.

Go forth, young Kariu! Pick up your fallen balls! (teehee)

CGI balls, LOL.

It’s creepy (but also dramatic) when the lights of the eyes are the last to move.

(ep 5)

Sumire! Her name means “violet” (the flower).

There are some nuances lost in translation, like yappari and the levels of formality…but those are typically lost.

This “lecture” is probably the highest point you can get in the show (so far). It’s times like this you can really see an author’s strengths in storytelling.

The piano really sells the Hishiro/Kaizaki meeting.

What a strange angle that “lean to the left” shot is.

I’ve found out swear words have a lot of leeway when it comes to levels of “oh no”. These swar words include yabai and temee. Due to the context of Wan! and the fact it was Chuuya who kept using them, I went with the nastier variants [in my scanlating days] but sometimes a non-swearing variant is enough. However, kirai (to dislike) is pretty nasty if you use it in Japanese.

Kaizaki’s delivery of these lines really sells their comedic effect. The electronic keyboard makes it sound like night, but also makes it sound 1) like night and 2) creepy, for some reason.

Freeter is almost as bad as NEET, Kaizaki.

There appears to be a 100 man (10 thousand) coin bank behind Yoake, which makes that...1000000 yen. (chorus in back: One million yen?!)

(ep 6)

Apparently someone tried to type the same Japanese words into Google and didn’t get the same results, LOL.

Hishiron uses a Mac, LOL.

“Thanks for having us” probably isn’t the right words for it. Ojamashimasu means “sorry for intruding”, but it sounds heavily formal when translated, so I can see why the subbers did what they did though.

*laughs* MDs (minidiscs)? I know what they are, even though they’re meant to be completely dead by now. Apparently they’re a product of the 90s that never caught on..although I admit I’ve never used an MD in my life, let alone held one. It does kinda look like a floppy disc, though. (chorus in back: You poke through old stuff too much, don’t you?)

Those fadeout cups are so cool! I want one.

Ah, maths. The sad thing about my life is that up until a certain point I was good at maths. Then the hard stuff came up and I started to fail.

I thought it was Third Street Oga was talking about, but it’s 3rd chome, sort of like a suburb.

Knowing An, she may have deliberately put Oga out of the way for her own purposes…if you know what I mean.

CGI car just ruined the suspenseful mood, dangit.

Sometimes I just turn off my volume and turn on some music on Spotify. That way, you can make your own soundtrack.

Why did Arata have such a dumb face in the thought bubble?

Wow, she’s a real fujoshi, that one [An].

“Dude”? I cringe so much at her use of it, despite the fact I use it myself. 

You liar, Onoya. Knowing who subject 1 was means that I know they couldn’t have even thought about that part…

[thistownneedsguns]

TTNG Interview // Birthday Cake For Breakfast

I’m stood backstage at ArcTanGent Festival with math-rock heroes TTNG and – first question in – rather than using words to express his feelings following their performance on Thursday evening, drummer Chris Collis highlights the Birthday Cake For Breakfast smiling dog (above) as a visual representation. Vocalist and bassist Henry Tremain and guitarist Tim Collis erupt in laughter, Tim adding further explanation. “For the listener – Picture is dog with Birthday Cake, looking gleeful.”

Having had time to adjust (with Henry suggesting that TTNG would be the dog in the situation, the cake being the audience), Tim reflects further on their performance – commenting at one point that it was likely their best ArcTanGent set to date. “No, it was great. Really great to play in the UK again, ‘cus I guess it’s been a while.” He says. “Yesterday’s response was fucking incredible, like seriously.” Adds Henry. “One of the new songs we have this quiet build up and everyone was clapping along. It was pretty amazing.”

It’s fair to say that ArcTanGent is becoming a regular entry in the social calendars of those with a penchant for math/post/alt-rock and everything in-between. Growing in size year upon year, the organisers outdo themselves when curating incredible line-ups every time. TTNG have become a staple of the festival, having appeared at three of its four outings, matching the likes of And So I Watch You From Afar and Maybeshewill. “We had a break, caught our breath and then we came back to eat some more audience members.” Laughs Henry.

Much like TTNG are becoming a regular fixture of ArcTanGent, so too is the inevitability that the weather will be foul. This year’s festival featured particularly outrageous weather. Almost at Monsoon levels, Fernhill Farm gave Manchester a run for its money with the amount of downpour. It almost made watching bands and drinking beer unbearable… “It’s getting wetter and wetter each time.” Nods Tim.

The spirit of the attendees is always high, mind, and tents are always suitably rammed whatever the weather. Though the main stage has a slight ‘open-air’ issue, as many found out whilst watching Russian Circles a while back. “The first one was awesome, then the second was crazy wet…” Adds Henry. “I remember seeing Russian Circles and getting totally drenched.”

Prior to their return to UK soil and triumphant showing at ArcTanGent, TTNG had been stateside on a run of North American dates throughout August and July with the likes of Lite, Mylets and GIRAFFES? GIRAFFES! A mammoth journey through America, made even sweeter with a number of dates across the run selling out. The secret? “Well we actually have a fan base over there…” Says Henry with a laugh. “It was a good tour, the sales were a lot better than we were expecting – the pre-sales beforehand had us kind of worried. We were feeling like that’s gonna be our last trip out to the states, but it actually went completely in the other direction.”

Sargent House mainstay and running mate of both And So I Watch You From Afar and TTNG (as discussed recently with the former in this interview), Henry Kohen a.k.a. Mylets was along for the ride during their stay in America. There’s an obvious bond between both bands and Henry, the younger Kohen popping up regularly on their various social media accounts whenever they’re in the US. It’s almost as if both bands have taken him under their collective wings, though TTNG jest that it’s likely the other way round. “I think he’s pretty much an integral cog in our machine.” Say Tim of Henry. “He’s awesome to have on tour. He has a multi-functioning role on tour, so he TM’s and drives, plays and techs. It’d be really difficult to do it without him actually. He’s awesome and his music’s great so it’s always cool to play with him.” “He writes these amazing compositions on the fly in the van…” Adds Henry with a laugh.

This is again another period of the interview which would benefit from video evidence or similar, with the trio sharing a laugh reminiscing about the songwriting talents of both Henry’s through the use of a music memo app on an iphone, allowing them to write such improvised van hits as ‘Mummy’ and its sequel ‘Daddy’. A suggested special improvised song for Birthday Cake For Breakfast using said app sadly never materialises.

Away from improvised van recordings, the North American Tour coincided with the release of the band’s third studio album, ‘Disappointment Island’. Recorded live to tape over a ten day period, the trio got together at the infamous Electrical Audio studios in Chicago with Greg Norman, before it was mastered by Bob Weston of Shellac. It was actually in America where TTNG got to shape the eventual album, during a tour with The World Is A Beautiful Place & I Am No Longer Afraid To Die and Foxing. Though the album itself had some uncertainty in the lead up to its completion, as Tim explains. “I think it was good to get it done, for sure. I think there was a time before that we weren’t sure that it was gonna happen. It was kinda pressured to do it like that…” He says. “We kinda just went for it – it’s gotta be done by that time, so… It was helpful to have that.”

“We had kind of finished writing just before the tour and then we used the tour to rehearse the material, get it tour ready so that by the time we were in the studio, we’d kinda ironed out all the kinks and actually learned how to play the songs well enough, with enough energy.” Says Henry. “I think throwing them out in front of an audience is the exact environment where the pressure’s on where you have to get better and play them… I’m sure it led to some right stinkers during some of those shows, but it helped the album.” He laughs. “Possibly another reason why we didn’t think anyone would show up for this tour – hey, here’s the new stuff and it’s all terrible.” Adds Chris with a smirk. “But no, it was a good method. Psychologically I personally felt actually ready to be in the studio, wherein other times it’s just chaos and being really anxious. Sort of knowing that – ok, in theory this is ready, I can play this – was a huge benefit going into the studio.”

Cramming everything into these ten day sessions clearly proved fruitful, though potentially took years off lifetimes, as the mention of their experience in the studio is greeted by a slight sense of dread between the three-piece. Flashbacks of the whip being cracked visible in their eyes. “Stressful.” Confirms Chris when approached on the subject. “I found it stressful.” “I found it incredibly stressful throughout, because the last thing to happen is the vocals.” Adds Henry. “That, for me, is a massive stress. The bit that I really enjoy, which is playing the music bit, was really enjoyable, but there was still this high pitched violin string running in the back of my mind. I was still tense throughout. But, having said that, Electrical Audio where we recorded it is the best place. I absolutely love that place, it just feels like home. Greg, who’s our engineer, is one of the best humans ever. Made us feel totally at home and he’s just funny as fuck. I was having a really bad time doing the vocals, but he’d always manage to say something down the headphones that would put shit in perspective and make me feel good again.”

“Get your head together!” Says Tim with a laugh, before summing up his own experience. “It’s kinda nice as well, because it was a fairly long tour before that, so it wasn’t a very sterile studio at all. It would’ve been weird going to that sort of place after quite a stressful tour. It was really homely, so it was kind of a really cool place to chill out – for the most part. I know I had an easy job, I only had to do one thing, so I had a pretty good time.” “I felt kind of bad at the end of the session, I felt like I was moving out of home.” Adds Henry with a laugh. “It’s got a really nice, homely vibe to it so it’s very relaxing.” Agrees Chris. “Which is good obviously, when you’re in a somewhat pressured environment or situation, I should say.”

Disappointment Island marks the first TTNG album recorded as a three-piece. Following the departure of lead singer and guitar player Stuart Smith and bass player Jamie Cooper over the years, the band transformed and Henry, Tim and Chris carried on as a trio. “It’ll be the last” Comments Chris with a laugh when we discuss the album being put together as a trio. “No, it was great. We’ve been a three-piece for a long time, but obviously trying to play that first album that had four people on it was difficult. So this was great.”

With more room to breath, this allowed for more experimentation, including a new instrument busted out by Henry (though sadly not a ‘Daxaphone’, much to the chagrin of everyone in the band). “Yeah dude, check out the Daxophone. It’s a real instrument.” Laughs Henry. “But yeah, I built this six-string bass baritone guitar that I play, and it was nice to actually – instead of using it to play the space between guitar parts and bass parts – to actually write for that instrument. It was super fun.”

Teasers for Disappointment Island began showing up online in early May in the form of picturesque little vignettes, accompanied by the outline of an island and coordinates. Brilliantly, Fecking Bahamas not only kept track of each individual video but looked up the coordinates online and pipped TTNG to the post regarding the album name (as did a fair few other not-so-lazy fans). The title itself goes back a number of years, with Google acting as inspiration. Much like the artwork that adorns its cover, Disappointment Island was something the trio were unable to forget. “I’ve always wanted to visit.” Confesses Tim with a laugh. “As soon as you find a place like that, there’s so much mystery behind that name.” Adds Henry. “I found it on google earth probably about six/seven years ago, by chance ‘cus I was working as a graphic designer in a print company. We had a slow period, so I would just fly around the planet, checking out Tokyo’s rail networks and then just checking out how big the Pacific Ocean is…” “Turns out it’s pretty big.” Smirks Tim.

As anyone with access to YouTube, Google Earth or countless time-wasting platforms will attest, it’s relatively simple to become obsessed in pointless searches and get lost down a rabbit hole. This became Henry and his virtual flights across the globe, becoming obsessed with minuscule landmasses in the middle of the abyss. It was one such search that resulted in the discovery of ‘Disappointment Island’. “We’ve kind of been joking about it for a while. After the session we recorded with Greg, we went out for some drinks. Tim suggested it jokingly as a title and then it’s like – that’s hilarious, no wait it’s actually kind of perfect. The more we thought about it, the more it made sense.” “It all ties in with quite a few things.” Adds Tim. “I guess Henry can back this up, but perhaps lyrically on some of the topics and subjects he’s writing about. It’s pretty neat really, which is the total opposite of the previous album, which was just random chaos but seemed to also work out.” He laughs.

Similarly, the aforementioned striking artwork for Disappointment Island was practically found out of various fruitless google image searches, trawling through the internet in search of inspiration. The intricate, slightly oddball work of Ukrainian artist and illustrator Irena Zablotska came as love at first sight for the trio, with Henry commenting that the decision was made as soon as they’d caught sight of her work. “She’s incredibly talented.” He says. “There’s some amazing character to the work that she does. We went through and we found that illustration and thought it was perfect for what we wanted.“

At the time of writing, TTNG have finished off their year with a trip to Japan to play with Lite – the cherry on top of a monumental 2016. Their current line-up is stronger than ever, with the trio highlighting this through Disappointment Island. Throughout the interview, the Collis siblings and Henry are joyful, taking the piss and are clearly a tight-knit group. All is going swimmingly then? “We all put on brave faces for these kind of interviews…” Jokes Chris as the others laugh. “Things are going really well. We wanna write some new music I think.” “I’m saving up for a Daxophone.” Grins Henry.

(via Birthday Cake For Breakfast)

[uterusclub]

As any Native Chicagoean can attest, the winter never fails to destroy our souls – at least temporarily so. But as that weary tail-end concludes, one gradually regains hope, energy, and enthusiasm. These are the trappings of no more woe. 

Our first expedition involved a visit to the Otherworld Theatre Company to see a choose-your-own adventure style production of ‘Quest for Thrones.’ We were beckoned to make several decisions for the Game of Thrones characters which mostly involved death or killing and to no surprise of mine, our crowd was an outwardly, murdery bunch. So we got along just great. The only downside to the show was the mold-induced smell of the lobby area where I quite literally gawked around the room to see if anyone else was just as disturbed as I. They did not appear as such which daunts me even more. Following the very short but delightful show, we made our way home but the night just didn’t feel complete. So we made a stop-off. Well, 2, actually. Sharon had demanded a hot dog the entire day so we stopped at my beloved Susie’s and then headed a few blocks down to my treasured karaoke joint, Sidekicks! It had been quite some time since my last sing so it was well-overdue. Upon arrival, we noted several people already singing which took me by surprise. While Sharon hit the bano, I was met by my long-time waitress friend who’s name I can’t completely remember – Christine – Christina? Christy? Something like that. I’m horrible. In any case, she offered me a mis-remembered test-tube shot (Sex on the Beach) to which I declined (my favorite is the Buttery Nipple) and ordered us a few drinks. I immediately trolled through the song book to figure out my agenda which, let’s be honest, is usually the same couple songs. Due to low attendance, I was announced very quickly. The night continued much the same aside from several interruptions from ‘the mutants at table 9’ who attempted to Facebook us (we DID give them Uterus Club as our contact but perhaps they considered this a joke as nothing ever came of it). We had met our end all be all of interactions with these folks when one of them dedicated a song to me. It was at this point, we slipped out, past the bouncer and I quite literally ran to my car even though Sharon had my keys and fumbled around for horror-movie record time. Surely, we would have been killed. Regardless, wonderful, hilarious night.

Onward. Sharon has been madly obsessed with a man by the name of Max Frost whom she played a few songs of a little while back. She missed a previous concert of his as my schedule wouldn’t allow it but recently discovered he was once again, back in Chicago! Naturally, she grabbed tickets and demanded (or rather, asked super nicely) we go. The last time we had been to Subterranean in Wicker Park was for Allison Weiss which was a blast! I recalled our hanging out on the upstairs area and peering down at the entire performance. Max Frost was equally rewarding in this sense. Unfortunately, getting awesome seats around the threshold of the upstairs area meant getting there early and listening to the opener – a girl we had already pre-researched and were not impressed with. Ironically, she ended up sounding way better live. Further irony kicked in when we discovered there was an ADDITIONAL opener who no one knew! THIS guy? Oh man. This was your stereotypical, dirty hipster trying-to-be-real with the ‘people’ who attempted to be deep and introspective while sitting on stage without shoes on. Absolutely horrendous! It should come as no surprise that we were a tad bit ecstatic when Max Frost FINALLY showed up on stage. Yes, we were ecstatic for approximately five songs and then all fizzled out into exhaustion. Capping the night and our very classy ride home via the most wonderful CTA, we listened to a homeless man reflect on his rejection of a plus-sized lady whom he compared to several, large animals. Always an adventure.

But wait. There’s more. ‘March madness’ couldn’t possibly be complete without a little festive shout-out to the Irish. And we went all out people. Having said that, I believe I’m some ridiculously low percentage Irish but I’ve also BEEN to Ireland so I think I get a free pass on that one. In any case, Sharon suggested we hit up the downtown dying of the river in the morning since neither of us had actually seen it live. Sure, the videos are fun but it couldn’t possibly be the same. So bright and early, we headed downtown to park and walk over to one of them many bridges to catch a peek. I had no goddamn idea shit was going to be that cray! Seriously, it was college town USA and like, early. The only good part of the situation is that everyone was very merry but not obnoxiously so (yet). The bad part of the situation is that the color saturation hadn’t exactly made itself evident enough from our viewpoint and therefore, we saw a little bit of green far off in the distance. Major fail. Our follow-up idea was to hit up Public House for their themed

cake shakes, however, we later realized it was already privatized for some wrist-band drinking event all morning and not open to the public! So we hit up the ‘poor man’s’ Public House ie. JoJo’s Milk Bar. The place was small and unimpressive to say the least. Sharon ordered us a ‘shake’ which was sad. We took a few obligatory sips before headed out. Next stop? Milwaukee! That’s right!

There’s absolutely no musical I love more than Phantom of the Opera. I legit have this shit memorized. On our way up to Milwaukee, I googled us a place to stop and eat nearby before the show. The Internet gods brought us to Ale Aslyum Riverhouse. It’s difficult to explain the complete awe of driving from a crazed downtown Chicago to a completely abandoned downtown Milwaukee. Streets were desolute! We had apparently come to the right place. Upon grabbing a quick lunch and Sharon randomly bumping into an ex-client of hers, we made our way to the Marcus Performing Arts Center. As usual, I had completely forgot what sort of seats I had purchased us but apparently I did well since we ended up in the back row on the end of the aisle. The performance was most enjoyable – although some of the singing was a bit inconsistent and I think we both spent a questionable amount of time wondering what the race of the Phantom was. We stayed long enough to hear by favorite trio part before seamlessly ducking out and venturing over to one last stop before home: Mars Cheese Castle. To say this place is anything other than completely overwhelming would be a lie. We came away with a few bags of curds and not much more due to ambivalence. Next time I’ll do some research.

St. Patrick’s Day! The OFFICIAL! Our festivities for the day mainly included eating and drinking. Oh yes, we also threw in a little Boondock Saints as well and some Pandora Irish playlist to accompany our cooking. Menu included Guinesse drumsticks, spinach puff-pastry shamrocks, mashed cauliflower and corned-beef eggrolls. Don’t forget, topping off our day-drinking of Magners Hard Cider which was doused with a few drops of green food coloring! We completed the meal with alcohol cupcakes purchased the night before at the previously mentioned Mars Cheese Castle. And that’s a wrap!

So guess what? We loved Milwaukee SO much that we decided to visit it AGAIN! But THIS time, we really meant business. First stop? Plato’s Closet. It’s tradition after all. Next stop? A little Milwaukee Burger Company. Ginormous, Deep-fried cheese curd cubes, anyone? Stomach – my apologies but worth it. Where to now? Our most beloved Lost Valley Cider Co. where we met an Irish wolf dog who was HUGE and wonderful! We also got our hands on a peanut butter and jelly cider as well as a Hibiscus cider we enjoyed so much we ordered some to go!

Catching a nice buzz now, we made our way to Swing Park where a bunch of hoodlums roamed and I tried to do fancy moves for photographic integrity. Sharon captured what appears to be a child abduction in progress which is absolutely priceless. Our journey now took us to the Villa Terrace Decorative Arts Museum which, not gonna lie, I didn’t know anything about and frankly, still don’t. But it was pretty and had a cheap Groupon and had a fantastic view! Finalizing our self-guided tour here, we finally headed to our haunted (that’s right), Bed and Breakst: Brumder Mansion.

We were met by innkeeper, Tom who was an absolute joy! Unfortunately, he didn’t give us much intel to go on as far as ghosts were concerned – only to say there were 13 and none sounded menacing (how very disappointing). He also mentioned there being some children that tend to fidget with items left out if you ask them to which Sharon left out a ridiculous amount of things. I’ll save you the suspense – nothing was moved. In any case, we hung out for a little while before heading out for our dinner reservation at the Pasta Tree. This has always been a favorite of mine, however, both service and food was mediocre at best for some reason. We followed up dinner with drinks at a nearby Irish bar by the name of Paddy’s Pub which ended up being one of my favorite parts of our trip! Decor was beautiful and sweet and the employees were homey and gracious.

The pinnacle of this trip was our finalized stop-off at the Oriental Theater to see a viewing of the Room with actor/director/writer, Tommy Wiseau present! The line for this event was literally down the street and around the corner! It took me a second to realize that Tommy was signing autographs and taking pictures BEFORE the actual showing so we jumped ship from our spots in line to meet the man himself who was kind and sweet (and apparently dug my tattoos). After re-joining our original line, we eventually made our way back into the theater and  headed up to the balcony for anti-social viewing. Oh! And I mustn’t forget the spoons. While we had been in line outside, someone was passing out handfuls of plastic spoons which we didn’t take out of confusion – only to research and later discover it was a ‘thing’ that went along with the movie. Our bad. Next time! Show was scheduled to start at 9:30pm. Show started at, I’m going to say 10:45pm after all the delay and opening shenanigans. We were tired as all hell. And made it just about 15 minutes into the movie before calling it a night. Unfortunately, leaving out of the theater, Sharon predicted Tommy might be hanging out in the lobby and of course, lo and behold, there he blew! Goddamnit! So we attempted to casually saunter out only to be met with a very saddened, ‘Where you going? Home?” It actually broke my heart. Poor Tommy. Heading back to the B&B, we both eventually passed out and roused for our adorable breakfast. Parting fairly quickly after our meal, we had a final, triumphant stop off at the Potawatomi Hotel and Casino and endeavored in a little morning Bingo. Again, I’ll save you the suspense – we didn’t win. And I’m sure I demanded vengeance per usual.

Wrapping up the wonderful month of March was our visit to the United Center to see Mumford and Sons! I had purchased tickets for Sharon for her birthday back in February. She had been talking about wanting to see them for as long as I can remember. It was only after I had purchased said tickets that she vocalized her hatred of their latest album. Fortunately, they didn’t play much of it. As a precursor to the show, we stopped

off at Viaggio for some Italian dinner. Twas splendid! We then took a buzzed walk over to the show and awed over the comfort and view of our seats! No one in front of us and at the end of the aisle! Cat Power was the opener who I am familiar with but don’t know much about. I described her as ‘more depressing than Aimee Mann’ which Sharon could barely wrap her head around. Crowd became super anxious as a result but as soon as

Mumford showed up, the energy was electric! I’ve never been the hugest fan of theirs but I will say they put on a damn, fine show! Again, left after a handful of songs but know, I would have stayed til the end. And as we left, drenched in the cold rain whoring our make-up, I knew that this and everything else had all been worth the wait.

Oh Hi, March As any Native Chicagoean can attest, the winter never fails to destroy our souls - at least temporarily so.

[westfivestory]

One With The Couch

I did it, I spent the entire weekend doing nothing with the kids…and yes…it was awesome and entirely by choice. I might have to do this more often because those bags that were so prominent under my eyes on Friday…seem like nothing more than a distant memory now.

The Diet

Yep, you read that right…the diet.

Now I can’t say for sure if it is a diet or “a lifestyle change” cause we all hate the “d” word, but since I’m not fooling anyone anymore and have zero interest in squeezing into spanx or whatever is the going trend, I’m going to attempt it.

The one thing I’ve learned…first of all, the food is pretty awesome, I’m not going to lie, I rarely get through reading the menu of a diet, let alone actually eating it, but this one is pretty great. No sugar that isn’t in the fruits etc., that may be my down fall. I have noticed that I do fine all day until supper is done and then the sugar and caffeine deprivation gets to me and I cave. So technically I have lost nothing yet. I need to either empty my house of junk food or have some one follow me around and slap me every time I do the unthinkable…reach for the cookie jar, bag of chips or that glass of pop.

Motivation just doesn’t seem to matter at this time of the day. Maybe getting off the couch will be the key to success, as long as that doesn’t draw me straight into the kitchen.

CBD Oil

We are still trying this. Maybe we need to try a stronger dosage…I really don’t know anymore. Is it the solution. If it is that would be awesome, I’m just wondering when the signs point to No?

I was approached to sell it. A MLM type of thing, much like Avon, Rodan & Fields etc. After some research and thought, I think I will stick to sampling and seeing where we can get the best for her, if that is the solution that works. The grade level I already have is higher than what they want me to sell. So I can’t see it being more beneficial to her. Maybe I’m wrong, but that’s what research on Google says.

As we all know, you should always believe what you see on the internet.

Well, maybe not always, but in this case, I’m good with my findings.

A Milestone 

One little man is turning 6 tomorrow and he is so excited he can barely contain himself.

Apparently, being 6 opens up opportunities you wouldn’t even imagine. He believes that when he wakes up in the morning, he can literally do anything and everything that he always wanted to do but wasn’t allowed.

He seems to think he has more privileges tomorrow than his 10-year-old brother, I’m not sure where he is getting this information, but if he has these ideas, this year might be a bit of a rude awakening for him. We might have to ease into these new and oh so exciting firsts.

I guess we will see what tomorrow brings. Which side of the bed and which insane hairstyle accompanies that attitude. It’s always a guessing game.

Happy Birthday Gunnar!!!

The first thing he asked when he woke up this morning, “so I’m six now? It’s my birthday?”

I said “No, sorry, that was yesterday, you slept through the entire day, it’s now Valentine’s Day, you better get ready for school.”

“Did I get my presents?”

No, you were asleep, we didn’t go anywhere.”

“How come you didn’t wake me up?”

“We tried, but you were out cold.”

“Oh…when is my birthday going to be?”

“In a year.”

He believed me more or less all day. I even drove him up to the school doors. Mean, maybe, but we did go out and have an awesome day regardless.

First stop, after the school parking lot….Toad Hall Toys.

  We tried on costumes, played with toys, checked out the lizards and had an all around awesome time. All we left with was a lollipop and slime. Just the necessities.

Next stop…Polo Park…the Lego Store was the intended stop, but we got side tracked. So the first store was Pylon, we snuck out before buying anything. We explored the Lego Store and only left with a small Lego character before heading back to Pylon and getting a Black Panther stuffy.

Phew, now with that all done, we were hungry…Subway it is.

The lady working laughed as Gunnar explained that he would get a 6″ out of a foot long. He has a way of explaining things that really are just more confusing. Now with lunch out of the way, we nearly ran through the mall to reach our car in time to have plenty of free time to jump.

Unfortunately as we walked out of the mall, I realized Gunnar did not have the Hot Topic bag with all of his presents including his new Dead Pool wallet. Oh shit. Back in to the mall we go, this time running back to Just Cozy, I found some slippers, the Food Court, the washroom, Hot Topic, no bag, but we did learn where guest services was, so fingers crossed we made our way there to see if we were lucky enough that someone would have brought our stuff to lost and found.

Apparently we have some pretty amazing horse shoes hung somewhere and right on the counter, there was our bag with all of our items. Yay!!! Birthday saved. Thank you, whoever you are. You really made his day and mine. Faith in humanity restored. Now off to jump.

We hit up Flying Squirrel. They gave Gunnar the toddler rate, which was awesome. It was a blast, we hit each other with battle bumpers on a balance beam, took a turn at tight rope walking (we have no future in the circus), played basketball, swung from a rope onto an air bed, and jumped like crazy all over the indoor park. It was so much fun. Gunnar figures he made a new friend, the guy that worked there was super nice and showed him flips over one of the track areas. Definitely a cool place to check out. I think we will likely go again.

  After all the jumping and a slurpee to go, we were off to our next adventure.

Walmart…we needed supper food. What to get when you are 6 for your birthday dinner? You guessed it, hot dogs, chips, chocolate cake and pumpkin pie. Why not?

We had supper just our family, but our neighbors and J joined us for cake and pie.

We had a great day. One that this little man will be looking forward to until next year. He even got a video chat with grandma and grandpa. He was so excited to show them everything he had gotten today and to tell them all about his day.

Wipeout

While getting things ready for the Winter Carnival, and looking out for the safety of our guests, we should and did test out the sledding run ourselves, and if nothing else, occasionally a well-deserved break is in order.

One of my co-workers had an inflatable sled and I was equipped with a crazy carpet. If we had taken bets, we would both have assumed that my ride would have been far better and faster…and we’d have both been so very very wrong.

He made it down the hill with only one hold up. I had a few very jerky moments and a complete 180 resulting in my wipeout and snow up my shirt and down my pants. Thankfully before attempting this, I did pass my phone to another co-worker to hold. Much like holding my beer, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

I guess we have some packing down and touchups for the run, but in good time, it should be a pretty great hill.

If The Dress Fits

Mikayla’s dress for the gala has arrived, well technically it arrived a week ago. We have been so busy that today was the day we decided to try it out. It fits, its a little short. Might be more of a long shirt than actually considered a dress, but throwing on a pair of tights should make it all good.

What Spews Forth From The Mouths Of Babes

In this case, there are no words of encouragement or funny sayings, nope, not this time. This time it was straight up vomit…yep hearing it hit the floor from another room and that feeling of dread and also thankfulness that I wasn’t right there to get the afterspray or the visual was actually a blessing. Poor guy. His awesome birthday yesterday and the high of that moment, only to end this day crashed on the couch all evening and then to stand in a large puddle of vomit. Gives a whole new meaning to V-Day.

The Latest Stressors

For the last couple of weeks I have had minimal sleep. Yes, Mikayla still wakes me up occasionally, and as much as I have gotten used to that, the new events have also been causing restless sleep.

I have awoken at approximately 5 am each day panicking that the events will flop, no one will show and any other possible disaster that you can think of.

I for one, am super happy that its over, maybe the turn out wasn’t quite what we projected or hoped for, but the ones that did come had a blast and that is what is important.

The gala looked awesome, everyone pitched in to help make it amazing and the kids danced all night and took so many photos at the photo booth.

The winter carnival the next day was a lot of fun as well. Danek came with me to help out and there was a lot of things that he was able and more than willing to help out with. His hard work paid off and he was able to enjoy all of the winter fun, skating, sledding, hood hustle, etc.

Drained

I’m done. Before heading to work for the winter carnival, Mikayla told me I should quit my job. She is just tired and wasn’t really prepared for the early morning affecting her as much as me I guess.

Anyway, I woke up this morning, and multiple times through the movies last night and most of today and as much as I enjoy my job most of the time, I feel like I’ve been beaten up. My legs and feet are so sore from the cold and probably not sensible shoe choices, the wind burn from the carnival sucks, much like a sunburn, my face feels swollen and my lips are seriously chapped. A blanket and disappearing from the world is about all I wanted today.

I am really hoping tomorrow is better. Maybe some more sleep and relaxation will work. Thank goodness Monday is a holiday, I don’t think I’d make it into work.

February 18, 2018 One With The Couch I did it, I spent the entire weekend doing nothing with the kids...and yes...it was awesome and entirely by choice.

[viralhottopics]

27 Doctors And Nurses Describe The Exact Moment They Realized Their Patient Was An Idiot

1. Put collard greens into her vagina

I had a patient that got a pretty nasty infection and became septic after putting collard greens in her vagina for several days because she thought it would induce an abortion.

2. Thought she had menopause

Not a Doctor, but EMT.

Had a woman who was in active labor, despite insisting she couldn’t be pregnant. She said her last period was “like ten months ago” so she’d gone through menopause.

She was 25.

3. I don’t have diabetes…

“I don’t have diabetes, I take medicine for that.” – happens so often I cant put a face to that quote.

4. The oatmeal lady

A woman comes in after having a baby and tells us she’s having trouble breastfeeding. I book her an appointment at a breastfeeding clinic, give her some resources, etc. Her appointment was fine and she went on her merry way. A few weeks later, we get the fax that she went to the breastfeeding clinic and everything was fine. Awesome.

A year later she shows up for her doctor’s appointment, and she’s obese. She must have put 100lbs on an already obese frame. She’s developed many health problems related to her weight (that she refuses to acknowledge are due to her weight. Of course.) She tells us she’s never been more active after having a kid, her diet hasn’t changed, her work life hasn’t changed, nothing has changed, the weight gain just happened due to ~hormones. We ask if she’s breastfeeding, she says yes. We ask how she’s getting the extra calories for the breastfeeding, and she tells us the Clinic told her to eat 1-2 bowls of plain oatmeal a day. It worked, so she’s still doing it.

We figure this is how she gained so much weight (she’s probably eating 2 large bowls of oatmeal on top of her meals, with milk, sugar, butter, etc), but the woman she’s eating 1-2 packets of plain oatmeal a day. Nothing on it, nothing added to it. It says plain on the package, it tastes plain, it’s plain.

We send the doctor in to see her after briefing him on the whole story about the oatmeal. He’s in the room with her a time — much longer than normal. When she comes out of the room, she keeps her head down and walks off, looking angry and embarrassed. The doctor walks up to the nursing table and fills out the chart.

“You never asked what of oatmeal she’s eating”.

Yeah. Turns out she didn’t know plain rolled oats were a thing. She thought the breastfeeding clinic meant plain oatmeal . She was eating an entire of Dad’s oatmeal cookies every single day for a year (basically a ‘bowl or two’ filled with cookies), and could not understand how that was different from oatmeal.

5. She was expecting to lose weight on this diet?

Had a patient who was coming back post lap band for a check up. What we usually do is revise the patient’s weight, etc and ‘tighten’ the band or ‘loosen’ it as needed.

Now the thing to remember is that getting lap band isn’t as easy as just throwing down some money. For six months, the patient must meet with a psychiatrist and a dietitian to understand what they’re getting into and if they can adjust their lifestyles and commit. A goal weight loss target (ex: lose ten pounds) is usually set for the end of the six months to ensure the patient is serious. So after all of this rigorous evaluation, a patient is deemed fit for an operation.

Enter my patient ‘Sylvia’. I checked her chart, BMI before surgery was 40, she was morbidly obese, and now had come in for her first follow up to ascertain if she’d lost any weight. Well, I put her on the scale, calculate, and what do I see? Her BMI was now 45. Perplexed, I asked her to explain her diet to me.

Sylvia- Well I’ve been doing a liquid diet just like you all said

Me- Very good! Can you maybe what you have?

Sylvia- I make smoothies and have them whenever I feel hungry.

Me- So what do you put in your smoothies?

Sylvia- Cake and ice cream.

Me- …..

Yup. She was serious. Somehow it didn’t occur to her that this wouldn’t be healthy. We reversed her band.

6. What was she feeding her baby?

A woman came in for a baby check with her 6-month-old and she had what looked like chocolate milk in the babys bottle. So he started explaining to her as kindly as he could that she shouldnt be giving her baby chocolate milk. At which point she interrupts him and says, “Oh that isnt chocolate milk. Its coffee! He just loves it!

7. Actually, she wasn’t dying at all

An older lady was brought into the ER barely conscious by her husband. In a very thick Italian accent she told the doctor she was dying. She had complained of feeling tingly and having a dry mouth prior to passing out.

The doctor sat the husband down and they did a history. No serious medical problems and she was very fit. In fact she spent the morning cleaning her sons bar, as she often did on a Sunday morning.

Considering her age they took these symptoms very seriously and begun running tests to find the source of her ailments.

The son came in to visit his mother, and on the way he bypassed his bar. He noticed that his mother had helped herself to some of the ‘treats’ prepared the night before.

The son, the apple of his parents eye, had to then explain to his father and the doctor that the treats she had enjoyed were space cakes. And apparently she really enjoyed them as she ate quite a few.

They then had to sit down and tell this elderly lady that she was not dying, and that she was in fact stoned!

Fortunately she was still high enough to see the humour.

8. Her son had a “skull fracture”

A secretary buzzes back to me that there’s a call on line two that needs medical advice. I pick it up and one of our patient’s mother is on the phone having a panic attack. She is hyperventilating into the phone. I asked her if she was alright, thinking maybe she needed an ambulance, and through her breaths and now tears, she starts telling me that she thinks her four year old son has a skull fracture.

I ask if he fell. No.

I ask if he’s conscious. Yes.

I ask if he’s breathing. Yes.

I ask if he is bleeding from his ears, eyes, nose, mouth, scalp. No.

I ask if there is any visible wound. No.

I ask why she thinks he fractured his skull. Because underneath his eyes is red and puffy and Google says that’s a skull fracture.

I tell her to go to the ER for proper assessment (we don’t do MRIs, X-rays, CT Scans). She doesn’t want to. She says she was supposed to take her kids to the beach. Mind you, she is still crying and breathing heavy at this point. I tell her to come right over then but warned her we would probably have to send her to the ER.

She shows up 15 minutes later, cradling the child and crying. The little boy was crying too and screaming “I don’t want to die Mommy!” She kept hushing him and saying “Mommy loves her strong boy, no matter what!” Which only made him cry harder.

I pull her back into the room and she just dissolves as she tells me how she looked at him in horror this morning and saw the guarantee signs of a skull fracture. She swears he must have hit his head yesterday at swim practice.

The little boy is crying hard but I can see the noticeable swelling and pinkness under the eyes that she was referring too. I went to get another doctor and told her what I thought. She went in, came out about ten minutes later shaking her head. She had the same diagnosis.

You know when you wipe your eyes after swimming, you usually wipe under your eye too? The kid must have wiped off his sunscreen around his eyes the day before. All the pinkness and puffiness was from a mild sunburn under his eyes.

9. People who go to the vet are stupid too

I don’t have to deal with people patients, but I helped out a vet for a while and there’s a lot of dumb pet owners. Had one lady who was really concerned about her obese lab getting hiccups. The vet let her know the dog was overweight and she told him he was wrong and then insisted we do diagnostic tests to “figure out” the hiccups.

10. He totally does this to himself

I don’t like speaking ill of my patients mainly because I think we all neglect our health to a certain extent volitionally, and that can be viewed as “dumb”.

But the winner is Aristotle*. Aristotle is a 35 year old highly functional corporate lawyer. Aristotle has G6PD deficiency and (in his case) he develops mild hemolysis when exposed to certain foods, including fava beans. Every year for his birthday, Aristotle goes to the fancy Greek restaurant and gets gigandes plaki, his favourite dish. Every year he develops mild hemolysis with mild jaundice and dark urine. Every year he comes to see me, his gastroenterologist, urgently and without an appointment on the day after his birthday — bull-in-china-shopping my clinic, yelling at the secretary and other patients if he could be seen first. Every year he repeats his highly anxious concerns that his liver is screwed up because he’s mildly jaundiced and has dark urine. Every year I tell him it’s from the gigandes plaki. Every year he resolves never to eat it again and is fine for the rest of the year on his G6PD diet.

And every year on his birthday, he forgets. And then the cycle continues.

11. Cure us with ur mind plz

A lot of patients come to the hospital because they are “sick” but refuse to do any tests or take any medicine. Do people expect healthcare workers to do a ritual dance and chant around them and magically heal their illnesses?

12. But seriously

Patient: “Well do I really NEED the chest x-ray and EKG?”

Me: “Well you came here for a cough and chest pain soooo…”

P: “Yes but do I NEED them?”

Me: (thinking) WHY THE FUCK DID YOU COME HERE?!

13. She drank acidic water (but said it wasn’t acidic!)

Dentist here. In school I had a 70yr old pt who was still in the dating game and looked like that old lady who just died who played the Jeanie. (I was thinking of Joan Rivers)

She’s got a ton of acid erosion on her teeth. Tells me she drinks on “3-O” water. Didn’t know what was in it. We look it up on Google. That’d be a pH of 3. All of her water. Plus, she likes to put lemons in her water. I tell her this is also acidic. She tells me I’m wrong, because her friend who took a few nutrition classes said that as soon as the lemon juice gets into the body, it turns basic.

I told her I had a biochemistry degree… And that was wrong.

Also, her blood pressure is super high every visit. She tells me that she stopped takin her BP Meds because she thought they were unhealthy. I tell her that he method is not working at all.

A few weeks later, she strokes out and never gets out of a wheel chair again.

I’m friends w/ her on Facebook now. It’s just sad.

14. Greasy hair = diabetes???

Was translating at a medical clinic once. A father brought in his 20-year old son convinced he had early signs of diabetes since his hair was greasy. After convincing the doctor that’s what he was actually there for, we told him to go take a shower and try different shampoo its sad how little some people know about diabetes

15. Wait, which hole is it?

Nurse here.

Recently had a patients wife claim to be a retired nurse. While we were teaching her how to do an in and out catheter on her husband, she asked which hole the pee came out of and which hole the semen came out of.

16. Use the crystals instead

I’m a medical student but the number of patients I’ve seen who refuse to take medicine because they ‘don’t want chemicals’ inside them is staggering

17. Why do the good die young?

I had a woman call 911 once for a body who was supposedly murdered underneath a railroad bridge during a massive music festival. When we got there, it ended being a log with a jacket thrown over it, and a very drunk woman sobbing over said log.

18. She doesn’t want a “child’s disease”

Patient came in with a rash around her mouth; she was going on about how she had it 14 years ago and the dermatologist prescribed a certain antibiotic to cure it and diagnosed her with “perioral dermatitis.” She’s showing us pictures on Google. Okay.

Doctor diagnoses her with impetigo and prescribes her an antibiotic ointment. She leaves and fills the prescription and comes back flipping her shit. She googled impetigo and, with the help of WebMD, came to the conclusion that it was a children’s disorder on the arms and legs that can only be contracted from children and she wasn’t around children. Insists that what she believes she has (perioral dermatitis) is a “woman’s disorder” and she doesn’t have this “children’s disease”. Says that the antibiotic he prescribed isn’t on the list of treatments (thanks WebMD). (It’s on the top of the list actually, of you know, actual medical books, but whatever)

Whole time, she’s showing us these pics off google of “perioral dermatitis” saying it’s a woman’s disorder. Half the pictures were of men. Now one thing you should know, perioral dermatitis means rash around the mouth. That’s it. It doesn’t mean shit. It’s not a type of rash. It’s not only cured by a specific antibiotic. It’s just a rash that happens to be around the mouth. She was furious, shaking with rage and about to start throwing shit bc the doctor wouldn’t prescribe her this certain antibiotic. Doctor told us to call the cops if she came back. People are crazy.

19. He was stung by a bee and fine

I’m a student and my GP supervisor was involved in a scheme to reduce A&E waiting times by having a GP in A&E to take patients that weren’t actually in an accident or an emergency. As none of the patients were actually dangerously ill I was basically doing the consultations with the doctor supervising, double checking and signing prescriptions etc.

A guy in his late 20s walks in, looking very healthy, and sits down. “I was stung by a bee this morning”. “Where?” “On my cheek” “How long ago was this?” “Well it took me about half an hour to get here and then I’ve been waiting another three and a half hours” “Did it stop you swallowing or breathing?” “No.” “Are you allergic?” “No.” “What would you like us to do?” “Check I’m OK.”…

At this point I turn around to my supervisor attempting to say WTF do I do here? He says “You’re OK, go home.”

It was the most surreal consultation I’ve ever had.

20. That’s not how glasses work

Not a doctor but my dad is an opthamologist (eye doctor). He once told me that one of his patients came in utterly confused why the “medicine in his glasses no work anymore.”

21. Couldn’t feel the tiny tip of her pinkie

When I worked in a&e, had a patient with the complaint of “neurology” in minors. She tells me she cant feel the tip of her pinkie. A vague 0.2cmx0.2cm patch right at the top. No sensation there whatsoever. No other history or symptoms. I grabbed a needle, poked it and cured her.

22. What the actual fuck

I had a woman who refused to be discharged as she “couldn’t keep any food or drink down”. Her room was filled to the brink with sweets crisps and fizzy drinks.

I asked her to show me the vomit. She produced a sick bowl she had filled with spit. I pH tested this in front of her (contents of stomach are acidic). Of course pH was normal. She then stuck her fingers down her throat and physically forced herself to repeatedly gag and vomit. In front of me.

Next day I returned and said she had blood in her urine. She’d filled a sample pot with red juice. It literally smelled of fruit.

Boss discharged her that afternoon. She was back within a week I think

23. She wouldn’t turn off her zombie movies

Another patient was in the hospital to have her 9th baby and then give it up for adoption (she was 9 for 9 on adopting out babies). She was 34, had a BMI of 65, no teeth, a creepy partner (I think it was a feeding fetish type relationship) and NO pain tolerance. I was asked to do an epidural. As I’m going through the consent, she’s distracted by some zombie pseudo-documentary that she refused to turn off. She had brought the entire DVD set to watch during labor. At the end of the consent process, I asked if she had any questions.

She just wanted to know “when can I go smoke a cigarette?” I told her after the baby was out she could do whatever she wanted. The adoptive parents, who already had a few of her offspring, were there the ENTIRE time. I had to forcefully ask them to leave for the sterile epidural placement, which was remarkably easy given her size but a little more challenging given the distracting zombie show that she REFUSED to let us turn off. Baby slid out about 30 minutes later, and she was discharged before the end of the day. I think the OBs at least managed to get an IUD into her.

24. But will he still be a virgin?

I had a patient’s mom ask me if putting a catheter in her 6 year old son would break his hymen and would he still be a virgin.

Being a virgin was important to them because of religious reasons.

25. You can’t cure stupid

One was a lady wanting to know if our clinic would do a “virginity test” on her because her PCP told her they don’t do that. It took me way too long to explain it’s not a real thing.

Another lady needed to get tested for STDs, not weird, but she said she needed us to send the results to her prospective employer? Uh why?? We told her we wouldn’t do that but she could come get a copy of her results and do whatever she wanted with it. She does but comes back later the same day and says we gave her the wrong test results. We double check, nope, those are def her test results. Trying to sort this out with her, I asked her why her employers would want an STD test anyway. She says, they said it’s to make sure I don’t have “tubulars.”

Then it dawned on me. She meant Tuberculosis. She needed a TB test, not an STD test. She gets angry and yells that we’re just trying to trick her into taking more tests to charge her more and then stormed out…

26. “One more for the road”

This happened to a friend of mine when he was in training to become a paramedic. He was on a ride along, basically, and they had received a call where a woman fell down the stairs. They get to the address and knock on the door. The woman who called was inside folding clothes. Apparently she had been drinking on her medication. Twisted her ankle and called for an ambulance. So they asked her if she wanted to go to the hospital. She’s says yes, then proceeds to the fridge to pour “one more for the road.”

27. I told him to not do cocaine

Doc here. I had a guy with an ICD in place. For those who don’t know, it basically shocks your heart if it goes into a funny rhythm.

He would regularly come into the hospital to have it turned off because he would do a ton of cocaine and the thing would keep firing due to his high heart rate.

I told him not to do cocaine. He kept doing cocaine.

Read more: http://ift.tt/2ln0jqx

from 27 Doctors And Nurses Describe The Exact Moment They Realized Their Patient Was An Idiot

[inthekitchenwithstacey-blog]

Planning a Magic Kingdom Birthday Party!

A few months ago, I asked Isabelle what type of birthday party we should do Gabriella’s First Birthday party.  She kept giving me a mix of Tinkerbell and Mickey Mouse.  I was thinking of Disney World and how much I am missing the parks–granted with us living in Florida we didn’t get to go to the parks as much as I thought we would due to the cost and getting the time off from work for Victor.  I knew I didn’t want to do a full on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse party, with Mickey everywhere-I watch enough Disney Junior.  I went onto Pinterest and found this party at Lansdownelife.com!

Perfect! I knew I was going to have a Magic Kingdom Birthday Party and I was going to use Disney toys that the girls have to decorate.

For her birthday invite, which I only emailed due to time I used this to get started.

The font I used for the Magic Kingdom on the front of the card is called Started by a Mouse and the font I used for the “Celebrate with Us” and the back of the invitation is Didot.

For a PDF of the invitation please click here

I also made Mickey Party Hats, here is the tutorial.

Main Street USA

Due to us living in Massachusetts, I am finding out that you can experience all four seasons in a week! Seriously, it’s spring and it was beautiful with a high of 70 and then two days ago it was snowing.  Needless to say we had her party inside at our home.

The kitchen I decorated it slightly like Main Street USA.  Our walkway, which is like our small office area was the tiki room (Isabelle love’s the song) and the living room was Fantasy Land.

I saw the fireworks on Lansdownelife, but decided to hang them from the ceiling using thread and blue painters tape.  I also used Isabelle’s Tinkerbell, Periwinkle, and Fawn dolls as well.  Tinkerbell, the fireworks, and the castle all reminded me of the’Wishes’ fireworks show at the Magic Kingdom.  The castle is by Fisher-Price Little People Disney Princess.  My folks gave it to Isabelle for her first Christmas gift.

I bought two cheap plastic tablecloths from Walmart in red and white.

The font for the Main Street USA sign is Algerian

The font for the Mickey’s Treats sign is Waltograph

The font for the Casey’s Corner Hot Dogs sign is Bodoni

The food on the menu:

Casey’s Corner Hot Dogs (served in the crockpot)

Mickey’s Sandwiches ( ham, turkey, swiss, and cheddar shaped like Mickey)

Mickey’s Treats-Chocolate Dipped Rice Krispie Treats, Chocolate Covered Oreos, and Gluten-Free Chocolate Cupcakes (recipe to be posted soon)

Hummus served with Pita Chips, Sweet Potato Chips

Sangria and Beer-for the adults

Tropical Strawberry Fruit Juice-for the kids

I also found boxwood balls at Jo-Ann Fabrics to make a Mickey topiary (thank you Erin at Lansdownelife for this idea), like at the Disney Parks.

The cutter I used for the Mickey Ham, Turkey, Cheese, and Rice Krispy Treats was purchased on eBay!

The recipe for Mickey’s Rice Krispie Treats  and Mickey’s Chocolate Covered Oreos

The recipe for Mickey’s Coconut Flour Chocolate Cake

I bought the Walt Disney World Official Album from iTunes to go with the party.

  The Enchanted Tiki Room

When it came to decorating our little hallway in-between the kitchen and living room I decided on the Tiki Room.  I remember when we took Isabelle to Disney World, she loved seeing all the birds, flowers, and tikis sing!  For this part I really utilized every idea from Lansdownelife’s Tiki Room.  I bought the Tikis and flowers from party city.  I found the birds along with Iago on Amazon (affiliate links).

I used twigs from our backyard, as our landlord just trimmed a tree, to form swings for the birds.

For the Welcome Sign and the chorus to the Tiki Room I used Ed Interlock.

In this part of the house, I had my old iPhone hooked up to an iHome to play Disney World Music.

     I also added a few “Hidden Mickey’s” in the tiki room.

Fantasy Land

When it came to our living room I knew I wanted it to be Fantasy Land!  I saw on Lansdownelife.com what Erin made for her interpretation of Fantasy Land and loved it!  I found this image of It’s a Small World on Google (I honestly don’t remember where I found it).  I connected our projector to my computer and placed the image on the wall.  Then, I taped a piece of foam board to the wall to trace the image.  I can’t draw worth anything, but I can trace!  I didn’t get to finish coloring it in, but it’s ok.

I found the colorful pennant banner at Wal-Mart and the font I used for the Fantasy Land sign is Orange Grove.  I used crepe paper to create a canopy effect, like that from It’s a Small World. By the way-I am loving the blue painters tape to hang things-it actually holds the decorations and I don’t worry about the walls getting messed up (especially since we are renting).

Since Isabelle has Disney toys, I used those to decorate the living room.  Anna, Elsa, and Aurora I placed on the mantle next to the picture of It’s a Small World-similar to that of the dolls from the ride?

On our TV stand, I placed Cinderella’s Garden Tea Party Set along with a few friends- the kids played with this during the party :)

    On our coffee table I placed Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs’ Cottage for the kids to play with, while the adults were talking :)

After we were finished eating, it was time for cake (well it was more like Isabelle asking for cake and treats).

I think she likes it

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The Sugar is Kicking In

Isabelle loving the Treats!

Her face is priceless

so excited

Papa helping Gabriella with her Gifts

I had fun planning and getting things together for Gabriella’s First Birthday!  I know Isabelle had fun too!

Magic Kingdom Birthday Party Planning a Magic Kingdom Birthday Party! A few months ago, I asked Isabelle what type of birthday party we should do Gabriella's First Birthday party.  

[sadlykpopobsessed]

...hi

Today is your birthday and you know the score

Asian men and poetry is what I’m aiming for

so here is my present for you to enjoy

beware, your ovaries it may dibidibidestroy

call up the bartender to bring us a round

then we can drink ourselves into the ground

but in a punchbowl of feels I fear we may drown

unless we step back and ...

the ocean between is far and wide

a distance the PNXP cannot abide

My soul for an oven I would forsake

if only to be able to bake you this cake

Though times are all hectic and shitty and dire

there are plenty of things in this life to admire

whenever I think of this oiled up fella

I want to go sing Y Si Fuera Ella

(hey. fucking. ya.)

So, may you be merry and glad for today

I hope this didn't come across as cliche

if you feel the worth of this present was low

Fuck it, I got you a big booty hoe.

HAPPPPPPY BIRTTTHHDDAYYY, A. 

-T