#Rudeness

[palatinewolfsblog]

"Being rude is easy. It does not take any effort and is a sign of weakness and insecurity. Kindness shows great self-discipline and strong self-esteem. Being kind is not always easy when dealing with rude people. Kindness is a sign of a person who has done a lot of personal work and has come to a great self-understanding and wisdom. Choose to be kind over being right, and you’ll be right every time because kindness is a sign of strength." U.N. Owen.

[philosophybits]

Courtesy is the best part of culture, a kind of enchantment, and it wins the goodwill of all, just as rudeness wins only scorn and universal annoyance.

Baltasar Gracián, The Art of Worldly Wisdom

[yesterdaysprint]

The Handbook of the Man of Fashion, 1847

[philosophybitmaps]

[polyamorousmisanthrope]

"... a dying culture invariably exhibits personal rudeness. Bad manners. Lack of consideration for others in minor matters. A loss of politeness, of gentle manners, is more significant than is a riot... This symptom is especially serious in that an individual displaying it never thinks of it as a sign of ill health, but as proof of his/her strength." -- Friday, Robert A. Heinlein

Most of the time, when this is quoted, the last sentence is left off, as it really comes in the next paragraph. However, I think it's important to the whole of the thought.

[rvspecter]

[jvgsjeff]

[serenityquest]

[wistsandmagic]

Can we talk about the fact that it is not okay to reach out and pat/touch/pull/scrunch/INSERT TOUCHING WORD OF CHOICE HERE someone's hair when you DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION?

I do not care who they are or what their hair looks like. If you do not have permission to touch, DO NOT TOUCH. It doesn't matter if it's pretty, if it's "unique", what their skin colour or hair colour or freakin' eye colour is, there is zero excuse for this amount of rudeness.

Also if we are complete and utter strangers, I probably am not going to give you permission to touch my hair even if you do ask me. I DO NOT KNOW YOU. If you are not my hairstylist you do not get free reign to just PET MY HAIR.

It seems to be overwhelmingly middle-aged white ladies that do this, but just as an fyi for anyone:

Ask permission. Don't get butthurt if you do not get permission to touch someone's hair. Most of the time, asking to touch someone's hair is creepy as hell regardless of the intent, so don't be surprised if you get told off. AND ABOVE ALL, DO NOT JUST REACH OUT AND FREAKIN' TOUCH SOMEONE'S HAIR WITHOUT ASKING AT ALL. WHAT IS WRONG with you people!?!?!?

Brought to you by: Mixed person who wore their hair in blue afro puffs today because she felt cute and got accosted in the bathroom at work by a middle-aged white woman who grabbed my puffs and PETTED ME LIKE A CAT WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A HI-HELLO-HOW-ARE-YOU. DO NOT BLOODY DO THIS.

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Boa tarde, just leaving these in the ask for no reason at all

[guardian-of-da-gay]

The Hurt You Take (Part 4: Wade)

Sequel to Throw It All Away

Read on Ao3

For Whumptober 2024 Prompt 18: Unreliable Narrator

Wade felt confused.

This wasn’t out of the norm for him.  He wasn’t the brightest bulb in the drawer.  But this situation really just didn’t click.

First Tom had called him at home in the middle of the night and asked if he’d seen Knuckles.  He’d said he was in the hospital.  (“No, not Knuckles, Wade.  Me.  I’m in the hospital.”)  He gave Wade orders to let him or Maddie know if he saw or heard from Knuckles.  And also said he needed Wade to fill in for him for the next few days.  The thought used to fill Wade with anxiety.  He hadn’t felt great with responsibility and unknown situations.  Knuckles was the one who’d helped him get over that.

Which was why Wade didn’t understand this concern over where he was.  Knuckles was an echidna warrior! … Which meant he wasn’t great at reporting where he was going and when he’d be back, apparently.  So… yeah, they’d called Wade looking for him.  But they’d never called him twice looking for him.

Maddie called him bright and early and asked him again if he’d seen or heard from Knuckles.  The answer was no still, but this time Wade thought to ask why.

Maddie took a long breath and for a second Wade thought he’d said the wrong thing.  “We had a bad fight,” she said.  “We just want to make sure he’s okay.”

“Oh, well I’m sure he’s fine!  You know Knux.  Tough as nails!”

“Yeah…”

Yeah, he’d definitely said the wrong thing there.

“Just… let us know if you hear from him.”

And Wade said ‘okay’ because he thought it was okay.

Cut to now: It’d been 24 hours since Knuckles got in a fight with his family.  Wade knew this because they’d waited 24 hours before filing a police report after he disappeared.

“Oh, so he’s like missing missing?”  Wade asked.

He’d never had Maddie be the one sitting in front of his interim sheriff desk.  Usually it was old ladies complaining about their neighbors' hedges.  If serious stuff showed up, Tom was usually here to handle it.  But Tom was apparently in the hospital ‘for observation’, and then he’d be benched for a few days because he had a concussion.  Wade was a little iffy on how the concussion happened, but he didn’t pry.  Maddie already didn’t seem impressed with his question.

“You didn’t say that over the phone… I would’ve started searching!”  He mentally flipped through all the procedures he could remember for a missing person:  make fliers, contact local animal shelters and vets–no wait, that was pets.  No wait, if someone found Knuckles and he was unconscious or something they’d probably think he was an animal and take him to an animal shelter or a vet.  Like Lilo and Stitch.

“We were kind of hoping he’d be back before we needed to start really looking,” Maddie said.  “I don’t think he’s even on Earth.  But we wanted to make sure people know to be on the lookout for him in case he comes back.”

“Okay… Let me go grab the paperwork.”

Maddie sighed as he turned to go through their files.  He didn’t even know where missing persons stuff was.  Usually when someone went missing in Green Hills it was grandpa taking a really long walk away from the family picnic.  They’d never had someone actually run away.

Wade pulled a piece of paper out of a very dusty corner of the filing cabinet and lay it on the desk.  “Okay,” he said.  He scanned the form.  It seemed pretty straight forward.  He quickly wrote in his information at the top.  Next was Maddie’s information… maybe he’d let her write that in herself in a minute.  This way, they could get right to Knuckles’ info!  “So… last time seen was yesterday around ten?”

“Yes,” she said a little impatiently.  “I don’t know if we need to do a full missing person’s report though.  Like I said, I don’t think he’s even on the planet anymore, I just want to get the word out that we’re looking for him.”

“I understand,” Wade suppressed the urge to add a ‘ma’am’ to the end of his sentence.  “But we gotta go by the book!  Uh… age?”

“Wha–I don’t–”  Maddie sighed and rubbed her forehead.  “Sixteen maybe?”

Wade lifted his head.  “Really?”

“I know,” Maddie nodded, because yeah, he had the voice of a fifty-two year old man.  “He’s about a year older than Sonic.”

“Okay.”  Wade wrote it in.  Good thing he’d only let Knuckles have a sip of that ‘Wanda-rita’.  He didn’t think he’d mention that to Maddie right now.

“Uh… race?”

Maddie tipped her head to the side and cocked an eyebrow.  “Echidna.”

“Gender?”

“ Wade. ”  Both eyebrows were up now.

“Okay!”  Wade answered that question on his own.  The next one was trickier though.  “Height and weight?”

Maddie sighed again.  “Three foot seven and about fifty two pounds.”

“Oh, you just had that locked and loaded–”

“I’m his doctor.”

Wade nodded, focusing on the paper in front of him instead of her annoyed face.  “Right, right!  Forgot. Uh… Date of birth: unknown, right?  Right.  Okay.”  He looked up at her again.  “General description and clothing worn when last seen?”

“Let’s see, he was wearing what he always wears: red and green boots, white boxing gloves, and a full body of red fur and quills because he’s a bipedal, talking, space echidna, Wade .”  She threw out her hands.  “Can we please just put his picture on the sheriff’s Facebook page or whatever?  There’s no point in an official police search, he’s not even on this planet!”

Wade winced at her tone.  Most people didn’t think much of him, but Maddie was usually nice about it, at least.  She listened to him and smiled and was patient instead of getting snippy and mean.  The fact she was being kind of snippy and mean just made Wade think that she was really worried about Knuckles.  Which made him think he should be worried too.

“Right.  Uh… Do you have a good picture you want me to use?”

Maddie dropped her hands back to her lap. “I’ve got pictures,” she said, reaching for her purse.  “Not very good ones, but I’ve got some.”

“I’ve got a good one, want me to just use that?”  Wade was desperate to get this meeting back on track.

She paused, her phone half out of her purse.  “You’ve got a picture of Knuckles?  A good one?”

Wade fished his phone out of his pocket and tapped around really quickly.  “Here!”  He turned the phone to show her the picture his mom had taken after the Tournament of Champions.  The bowling alley was half destroyed behind them.  Wade was holding up the trophy and smiling while Knuckles stood beside him.

Wade understood the struggle of photographing Knuckles.  He was an echidna warrior and he was great at lots of things, but having his picture taken was not one of them.  It was just luck that Knuckles had been smiling and looking up at the trophy.  Wade’s mom had called his name and snapped the picture just as he looked over.  Knuckles was holding still, looking at the camera, not blinking, and smiling.

“That is a good picture,” Maddie said. She stared at it for… kind of a long time?  Finally she looked up and her eyes were big and scared and sad.  “You really haven’t heard from him?”

“I haven’t.”  He wished he could say he had. She handed the phone back to him.  He looked at the picture of Knuckles smiling beside him and dread filled his stomach with butterflies.  Wade was Knuckles’ best friend and apprentice.  If Knuckles hadn’t reached out to him then… This really was serious.

[ae-cha08]

There’s a right way and a right time to address your differences. Do it calmly, express your concerns, and then leave it there. If it starts getting heated, walk away.

When you do it God’s way, He’ll fight your battles. He’ll change what needs to be changed. Do what you can to keep the atmosphere loving, kind, and peaceful. Be a person of honor and avoid the fight.

[flowerssgardenxx]

i wanna rant cus why tf are people so...fucking mean? like so RUDE for no reason? i saw a tiktok of a billie eilish concert, i think it was like an acoustic set so people were silent so they could listen yk. and this girl goes "i love this song", and this random dude says "shut the fuck up" like WHAT. cus she said "i love that song"???? she was so silent with it to, she wasnt screaming it. thats sooooo fucked up like what possesses you to be so damn rude about a little comment like that like are you well??? i hate it here goodbye. and everyone in the comments were like "i mean same"... i fear society is hitting a wall cus what is this behavoiur. rudeness is so normalized on tiktok and im afraid that the younger demographic will think that this behavouir is okay. cus it is NOT bro. we are derailing byeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

[lntrusiveknock]

i really do feel like i am on this period because why am i feeling so emo and too much unwarranted sympathy for my “friend” acquaintance who lowkey faces ugly disadvantage and im just rewatching old vids bc i just feel nostalgic Okay and i dont know how i didnt notice it before and i think i might just be projecting unnecessary feelings some of us would want to void and pretend didn’t exist and have no valid reason to - but i wont deny that most girls at their/our core would reasonably long for external validation from the group thats responsible for our procreation ?? - but idk it lowkey breaks my heart for everything she is i ALWAYS thought it was a shame people could never associate her brilliant amazing character with anything but her skin deep appearance she was a classic case of lookism playing out (unfavourably) to me at most and i think it Sucks that it still is to me and that shes still remembered in my mind as someone whos a victim to her literal skin deep appearance… i always thought it was such a shame that men and women both could not give her due respect bc of how she looked… to be fair she looks average at best and she literally is perfect in so many aspects so charming in her heartfelt efforts her honest frank and intelligent words and honestly i think her body is tea (basically great) too… im so sure shed be so popular if only she had something of a different appearance maybe… it will never not be a shame how frequently her fantastic character and person that she is is overlooked and how insidiously normalised it is . shame that i have nothing to my name but just a simple heart for considering and feeling and i still am one to apparently come from a place thats capable of “sympathy”. what a fucking shame… always diminished, marginalised, reduced and belittled, robbed of any idea and concept of empowerment… despite all that she is. and after it all, its just a shame… as if peoples faces could dictate the treatment they receive…and still people take her persona for granted subconsciously seeing it as an attempt to compensate for her looks, never respected by the childish people our age, always looking for love and shallow sources of pride and clamour.. always hoping to keep it that way. i see it now…i felt it, so tragically strongly— that through her eyes - the world is begging us to be less shallow.

[oediex]

I went to a philosophy café at my local library today. It was quite a feat to convince my depressive brain to go out in the evening.

We ended up discussing an ethical issue, so it got a bit heated at times. I, of course, had a lot to say, since I'm not shy, and have been a critical thinker since I was five (just ask my parents), which wasn't exactly curtailed by being trained in philosophy. I ask questions, deep questions, in order to get closer to a truth or clarification of obfuscated opinions and arguments. Philosophy and critical thinking flow through my veins, and you will learn this the moment you talk to me. It doesn't always make me popular.

At the end of the session, everyone together started rearranging the tables and chairs as we had found them, just like everyone together had arranged them at the beginning of the session to begin with. I hadn't done much of that at the start, because I was the one-but-last person to enter the space. I also happened to occupy two chairs, because one too many had been put out, next to mine, which was good because I came with accessories. My scarf, which was draped over my legs during the session, and my rain coat and my bags - a little one with all my necessities, and the big one with something to read and my water flask - which I had put on the empty chair.

A woman came to me and asked if she could move the chair that was holding my bags. "Sure," I said, and moved my stuff to the chair I had been sitting on. I was putting on my coat when she returned, reaching out to grab the chair that was still holding my bags and my scarf, saying,

"I'll take this one as well. It's not like you're going to do it."

Now, I don't take passive aggression very well, and as I mentioned, I am not shy. I was mad. So mad. "Excuse me?" I exclaimed. "What makes you think you can speak to me like that? I'll put away my own chair, thank you very much."

She huffed off.

As I was holding my chair to put it away, someone was struggling to move one of the little tables, rolling it on its single round leg. "Are you okay?" I asked. "Or shall I help?"

"Yes, I think that would be best," they replied with a smile. So we moved it together. Then I put my own chair by its side, grabbed all my stuff, and left.

I can only imagine the woman's rudeness was related to my not being around for the original arranging of the furniture, or to her dislike of my piercing philosophical questions. Neither of which are a valid excuse, in my opinion, but she would probably disagree with such a critical appraisal.