#Rudeness

[palatinewolfsblog]

"Being rude is easy. It does not take any effort and is a sign of weakness and insecurity. Kindness shows great self-discipline and strong self-esteem. Being kind is not always easy when dealing with rude people. Kindness is a sign of a person who has done a lot of personal work and has come to a great self-understanding and wisdom. Choose to be kind over being right, and you’ll be right every time because kindness is a sign of strength." U.N. Owen.

[yesterdaysprint]

The Handbook of the Man of Fashion, 1847

[philosophybitmaps]

[jvgsjeff]

[wistsandmagic]

Can we talk about the fact that it is not okay to reach out and pat/touch/pull/scrunch/INSERT TOUCHING WORD OF CHOICE HERE someone's hair when you DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION?

I do not care who they are or what their hair looks like. If you do not have permission to touch, DO NOT TOUCH. It doesn't matter if it's pretty, if it's "unique", what their skin colour or hair colour or freakin' eye colour is, there is zero excuse for this amount of rudeness.

Also if we are complete and utter strangers, I probably am not going to give you permission to touch my hair even if you do ask me. I DO NOT KNOW YOU. If you are not my hairstylist you do not get free reign to just PET MY HAIR.

It seems to be overwhelmingly middle-aged white ladies that do this, but just as an fyi for anyone:

Ask permission. Don't get butthurt if you do not get permission to touch someone's hair. Most of the time, asking to touch someone's hair is creepy as hell regardless of the intent, so don't be surprised if you get told off. AND ABOVE ALL, DO NOT JUST REACH OUT AND FREAKIN' TOUCH SOMEONE'S HAIR WITHOUT ASKING AT ALL. WHAT IS WRONG with you people!?!?!?

Brought to you by: Mixed person who wore their hair in blue afro puffs today because she felt cute and got accosted in the bathroom at work by a middle-aged white woman who grabbed my puffs and PETTED ME LIKE A CAT WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A HI-HELLO-HOW-ARE-YOU. DO NOT BLOODY DO THIS.

[ae-cha08]

There’s a right way and a right time to address your differences. Do it calmly, express your concerns, and then leave it there. If it starts getting heated, walk away.

When you do it God’s way, He’ll fight your battles. He’ll change what needs to be changed. Do what you can to keep the atmosphere loving, kind, and peaceful. Be a person of honor and avoid the fight.

[guardian-of-da-gay]

The Hurt You Take (Part 4: Wade)

Sequel to Throw It All Away

Read on Ao3

For Whumptober 2024 Prompt 18: Unreliable Narrator

Wade felt confused.

This wasn’t out of the norm for him.  He wasn’t the brightest bulb in the drawer.  But this situation really just didn’t click.

First Tom had called him at home in the middle of the night and asked if he’d seen Knuckles.  He’d said he was in the hospital.  (“No, not Knuckles, Wade.  Me.  I’m in the hospital.”)  He gave Wade orders to let him or Maddie know if he saw or heard from Knuckles.  And also said he needed Wade to fill in for him for the next few days.  The thought used to fill Wade with anxiety.  He hadn’t felt great with responsibility and unknown situations.  Knuckles was the one who’d helped him get over that.

Which was why Wade didn’t understand this concern over where he was.  Knuckles was an echidna warrior! … Which meant he wasn’t great at reporting where he was going and when he’d be back, apparently.  So… yeah, they’d called Wade looking for him.  But they’d never called him twice looking for him.

Maddie called him bright and early and asked him again if he’d seen or heard from Knuckles.  The answer was no still, but this time Wade thought to ask why.

Maddie took a long breath and for a second Wade thought he’d said the wrong thing.  “We had a bad fight,” she said.  “We just want to make sure he’s okay.”

“Oh, well I’m sure he’s fine!  You know Knux.  Tough as nails!”

“Yeah…”

Yeah, he’d definitely said the wrong thing there.

“Just… let us know if you hear from him.”

And Wade said ‘okay’ because he thought it was okay.

Cut to now: It’d been 24 hours since Knuckles got in a fight with his family.  Wade knew this because they’d waited 24 hours before filing a police report after he disappeared.

“Oh, so he’s like missing missing?”  Wade asked.

He’d never had Maddie be the one sitting in front of his interim sheriff desk.  Usually it was old ladies complaining about their neighbors' hedges.  If serious stuff showed up, Tom was usually here to handle it.  But Tom was apparently in the hospital ‘for observation’, and then he’d be benched for a few days because he had a concussion.  Wade was a little iffy on how the concussion happened, but he didn’t pry.  Maddie already didn’t seem impressed with his question.

“You didn’t say that over the phone… I would’ve started searching!”  He mentally flipped through all the procedures he could remember for a missing person:  make fliers, contact local animal shelters and vets–no wait, that was pets.  No wait, if someone found Knuckles and he was unconscious or something they’d probably think he was an animal and take him to an animal shelter or a vet.  Like Lilo and Stitch.

“We were kind of hoping he’d be back before we needed to start really looking,” Maddie said.  “I don’t think he’s even on Earth.  But we wanted to make sure people know to be on the lookout for him in case he comes back.”

“Okay… Let me go grab the paperwork.”

Maddie sighed as he turned to go through their files.  He didn’t even know where missing persons stuff was.  Usually when someone went missing in Green Hills it was grandpa taking a really long walk away from the family picnic.  They’d never had someone actually run away.

Wade pulled a piece of paper out of a very dusty corner of the filing cabinet and lay it on the desk.  “Okay,” he said.  He scanned the form.  It seemed pretty straight forward.  He quickly wrote in his information at the top.  Next was Maddie’s information… maybe he’d let her write that in herself in a minute.  This way, they could get right to Knuckles’ info!  “So… last time seen was yesterday around ten?”

“Yes,” she said a little impatiently.  “I don’t know if we need to do a full missing person’s report though.  Like I said, I don’t think he’s even on the planet anymore, I just want to get the word out that we’re looking for him.”

“I understand,” Wade suppressed the urge to add a ‘ma’am’ to the end of his sentence.  “But we gotta go by the book!  Uh… age?”

“Wha–I don’t–”  Maddie sighed and rubbed her forehead.  “Sixteen maybe?”

Wade lifted his head.  “Really?”

“I know,” Maddie nodded, because yeah, he had the voice of a fifty-two year old man.  “He’s about a year older than Sonic.”

“Okay.”  Wade wrote it in.  Good thing he’d only let Knuckles have a sip of that ‘Wanda-rita’.  He didn’t think he’d mention that to Maddie right now.

“Uh… race?”

Maddie tipped her head to the side and cocked an eyebrow.  “Echidna.”

“Gender?”

“ Wade. ”  Both eyebrows were up now.

“Okay!”  Wade answered that question on his own.  The next one was trickier though.  “Height and weight?”

Maddie sighed again.  “Three foot seven and about fifty two pounds.”

“Oh, you just had that locked and loaded–”

“I’m his doctor.”

Wade nodded, focusing on the paper in front of him instead of her annoyed face.  “Right, right!  Forgot. Uh… Date of birth: unknown, right?  Right.  Okay.”  He looked up at her again.  “General description and clothing worn when last seen?”

“Let’s see, he was wearing what he always wears: red and green boots, white boxing gloves, and a full body of red fur and quills because he’s a bipedal, talking, space echidna, Wade .”  She threw out her hands.  “Can we please just put his picture on the sheriff’s Facebook page or whatever?  There’s no point in an official police search, he’s not even on this planet!”

Wade winced at her tone.  Most people didn’t think much of him, but Maddie was usually nice about it, at least.  She listened to him and smiled and was patient instead of getting snippy and mean.  The fact she was being kind of snippy and mean just made Wade think that she was really worried about Knuckles.  Which made him think he should be worried too.

“Right.  Uh… Do you have a good picture you want me to use?”

Maddie dropped her hands back to her lap. “I’ve got pictures,” she said, reaching for her purse.  “Not very good ones, but I’ve got some.”

“I’ve got a good one, want me to just use that?”  Wade was desperate to get this meeting back on track.

She paused, her phone half out of her purse.  “You’ve got a picture of Knuckles?  A good one?”

Wade fished his phone out of his pocket and tapped around really quickly.  “Here!”  He turned the phone to show her the picture his mom had taken after the Tournament of Champions.  The bowling alley was half destroyed behind them.  Wade was holding up the trophy and smiling while Knuckles stood beside him.

Wade understood the struggle of photographing Knuckles.  He was an echidna warrior and he was great at lots of things, but having his picture taken was not one of them.  It was just luck that Knuckles had been smiling and looking up at the trophy.  Wade’s mom had called his name and snapped the picture just as he looked over.  Knuckles was holding still, looking at the camera, not blinking, and smiling.

“That is a good picture,” Maddie said. She stared at it for… kind of a long time?  Finally she looked up and her eyes were big and scared and sad.  “You really haven’t heard from him?”

“I haven’t.”  He wished he could say he had. She handed the phone back to him.  He looked at the picture of Knuckles smiling beside him and dread filled his stomach with butterflies.  Wade was Knuckles’ best friend and apprentice.  If Knuckles hadn’t reached out to him then… This really was serious.

[oediex]

I went to a philosophy café at my local library today. It was quite a feat to convince my depressive brain to go out in the evening.

We ended up discussing an ethical issue, so it got a bit heated at times. I, of course, had a lot to say, since I'm not shy, and have been a critical thinker since I was five (just ask my parents), which wasn't exactly curtailed by being trained in philosophy. I ask questions, deep questions, in order to get closer to a truth or clarification of obfuscated opinions and arguments. Philosophy and critical thinking flow through my veins, and you will learn this the moment you talk to me. It doesn't always make me popular.

At the end of the session, everyone together started rearranging the tables and chairs as we had found them, just like everyone together had arranged them at the beginning of the session to begin with. I hadn't done much of that at the start, because I was the one-but-last person to enter the space. I also happened to occupy two chairs, because one too many had been put out, next to mine, which was good because I came with accessories. My scarf, which was draped over my legs during the session, and my rain coat and my bags - a little one with all my necessities, and the big one with something to read and my water flask - which I had put on the empty chair.

A woman came to me and asked if she could move the chair that was holding my bags. "Sure," I said, and moved my stuff to the chair I had been sitting on. I was putting on my coat when she returned, reaching out to grab the chair that was still holding my bags and my scarf, saying,

"I'll take this one as well. It's not like you're going to do it."

Now, I don't take passive aggression very well, and as I mentioned, I am not shy. I was mad. So mad. "Excuse me?" I exclaimed. "What makes you think you can speak to me like that? I'll put away my own chair, thank you very much."

She huffed off.

As I was holding my chair to put it away, someone was struggling to move one of the little tables, rolling it on its single round leg. "Are you okay?" I asked. "Or shall I help?"

"Yes, I think that would be best," they replied with a smile. So we moved it together. Then I put my own chair by its side, grabbed all my stuff, and left.

I can only imagine the woman's rudeness was related to my not being around for the original arranging of the furniture, or to her dislike of my piercing philosophical questions. Neither of which are a valid excuse, in my opinion, but she would probably disagree with such a critical appraisal.

[gummygoatgalaxy]

What lovely messages i received today

Seriously though, don't fucking do this

[ddlc3177]

[iamcryingregretevator]

spive angst

[koreanaswego]

Korean Word of the Day

실례

Rudeness

[xdark-night-of-the-soulx]

“Whenever feasible, one should always try to eat the rude.” --Hannibal

[ladyprydian]

Twice today I interacted with/saw two people decide to be deliberately rude.

First, I was doing my normal lunchtime walk route that loops around a pond on campus. Pond to the right, to the left is the campus daycare with the road beyond and on the other side of the road are student residences. It's a wooded area with trees and low shrubs.

I come across an older woman throwing a ball for her off leash dog. She throwing it towards the daycare and the road. As I come up on her she's doing that blandly pleasant smile and I say: "it's not off leash on campus" I'm not snarky, it's a neutral tone statement of the campus rules.

I watch her face morph into rage and aggression as she realized I called her out on breaking 1) the city bylaw of leashed dogs, and 2) the campus rule of leashed dogs. It's amazing how quickly people default to anger when they're called out for rule breaking.

I keep walking and when she's behind me she says "hAvE a NiCe DaY" like she's trying to clap back. I swing back around and say "That won't make any of what you are doing okay. It's not off leash on campus."

She's probably telling all her family and FB friends of the bitch who was mean to her and her dog on her walk today. What she was doing was dangerous - throwing the ball towards the road and daycare. But also we've had issues this spring with deer attacking dogs because off leash dogs have been harassing the deer and their fawns. If I see her again I'm phoning campus security. She could be asked to leave campus and if they see her there again they can charge her for trespassing.

Second crazy rude thing I saw.

I'm driving by a park where people play disk golf all the time. I can see two guys playing, and one frisbee goes wide and flies onto the road. I've seen this happen before so I've always got my eyes peeled when I'm driving though this area.

Anyway, doesn't hit anything but lands on the road. The van in front of me sees it, neon green easy to spot, and moves over to the right (closer to the curb) so to not run it over. I do the same. Car behind me? I watched her (yes when we were stopped at a light I could see it was a woman) swing to the left so she could deliberately run the frisbee over.

I was in awe of how mean spirited that was. How could you not notice two vehicles in front of you moving out of the way of something? Rather, deliberately moving your vehicle so you drive over something that belongs to someone else (likely damaging if not breaking it) and was an honest mistake on their part.

Some people are wild.

[meadow-lands-faerie]

Something I find hardest to understand about neurotypicals is the way they have decided how you are *supposed* to behave when someone offers you something.

You have to say 'no' twice because it is rude to accept right away, but 'yes' the third time, else you risk being rude by rejecting someone's offer of hospitality. Even then, you have to ask if they are sure about their offer.

What is that about??? If I offer to buy you something or offer do to something or offer you food, I am doing so because I think it might improve your life. If you accept that or not makes no difference to me.

The same goes for the question of reassurance. I would not ask/offer of I were not capable of helping and asking in a genuine capacity.

How can it be rude to accept right away, but also rude to reject that same offer too many times? I just don't get it.