#Roman blinds service

[jennifergmb]

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[decorex-products-india]

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[curtainscleaningmelbourne]

Same Day Services Curtain Cleaning Melbourne.

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[with-my-calamitous-love]

CLOSEST I’VE COME TO MY HEART EXPLODING

izuku x reader

thoughts on how he would act in a relationship <3 same premise as the shinso + kirishima ver, for his birthday!

a/n: i love ttpd

a/n: izuku midoriya as a boyfriend is my roman empire

izuku midoriya, who looks at you like you’re his whole world. he is physically incapable of finding you unattractive. your dreary, disheveled hair mornings are a sunny, natural glow to him. your sweaty and spent post-workout stance has him on his knees. he thinks your beautiful on every day that ends Y. he could be blind and he’d memorize your beauty through his fingertips, or deaf and appreciative the universe for gifting his eyes with you.

izuku midoriya, who falls in love hard. who falls first and falls harder. who falls like a shooting star on a bright morning. he’s so in love with you its embarrassing, so much so that after a while he doesn’t seem to care if you like him back or not- just having these feelings is enough for him. who needs you to know just how much he cares, just how devoted he is to you.

izuku midoriya, whose love language is acts of service. he loves to take care of you in sickness and in health, when you’re tired or even when you just don’t want to get up. who always practices the sidewalk rule, who zips up all your dresses, who will never ever let you touch the dirty dishes, who picks you up from the airport, who RUNS to the car do to open it for you, and who uses his actions when words fail him.

izuku midoriya, who isn’t fully aware of how beautiful he is. his green eyes like the garden of eden, freckles like little kisses from the sun just for him. he blinks and tilts his head like a dog when you compliment him on his appearance, trying to ignore the way his heart pounds and his cheeks blush bright pink. he doesn’t understand how he pulled you, but you most certainly get it.

speaking of his freckles… izuku midoriya, who lets you draw little constellations on his freckles. he is a moonchild himself, someone who is deeply emotional and experiences changes like the moon changes its phases. who has always loved the stars, loved the night sky, and loves thanking the heavens above for gifting you to him. he loved the tickle he feels on his skin when you connect the dots, pointing our lyra and hydrus as you tell him all about your favourites. he loves it, loves knowing he’s your favourite canvas.

izuku midoriya, who is more insecure then he lets on. who hates the way his arms look, the scars that remind him of his failures and his shortcomings. the weight of being the next symbol of peace, the expectation of being everything his predecessor was and more- sometimes its all too much. he’ll never show it, but there are signs. his nail biting, his messy notes on paper, his rambling to himself and his sleepless nights. only you can snap him out of the messy labyrinth he loses himself in. you’re that beacon of light that helps him resurface, giving his heart a holiday.

izuku midoriya, who loves you so much warmer and so much brighter than any love you could ever hope to experience. who is hopelessly devoted to you, giving you everything he is and more. whose love for you is a need like water, who makes sure that you are always loved so long as he exists. who makes your heart feel like it’ll explode when he tells you he loves you. whose own heart feels the same when you say it back.

[hotpoopymilk]

for better or worse the recent live action adaptations have violently thrown me back into my pjo and alta phases. so naturally, here are some headcannons for an alta au that takes place in the riordanverse:

sokka and katara are legacies of neptune, born and raised in new rome

katara inherited water-bending powers and sokka is a master swordsman and can talk to horses and fish cause why tf not

katara was offered a spot in the first cohort bc of her waterbending, but turned it down to be in the fifth cohort with sokka, who was always severely underestimated by the romans

zuko is a son of hephaestus with fire-bending powers

zuko fought on kronos' side during the titan war and saw luke as a big brother figure

zuko defected from the titan army and returned to camp half-blood after learning about his brother, charlie beckendorf's, death

zuko feels a lot of guilt surrounding beckendorf's death and believes that he is the one to blame, he runs away from CHB and eventually finds his way to Camp Jupiter

aang is a son of jupiter born before the "no kids" pact

jupiter decided to take a page out of hades' book and aang, similar to the di angelo's, was held frozen in time at the lotus hotel

jupiter sucks and totally forgot about aang so aang was trapped in the hotel waaay longer than the di angelo's

right after jason goes missing, katara has a dream about a son of jupiter trapped inside a building with a white lotus on the door

reyna, sokka, and katara go on a rescue mission to get jason, but instead find aang and bring him back to camp (yay!)

toph is a legacy of pluto and comes from a very rich and powerful family in new rome

toph wasn't required to do "military service" at camp jupiter because of her blindness

toph keeps her earth-bending abilities a secret to that she's not forced to serve in the roman army

appa and momo are pegasi (and yes, that means sokka can talk to them. they talk mad shit when he's on stable-cleaning duty)

suki is a hunter of artemis, sorry sokka :(

yue is a daughter of apollo, and also a hunter of artemis (sokka literally cannot win, sorry dude)

that's all for now, folks!

[namesforwriters]

Music Inspired Names (fem)

Aida ~ Arabic, Italian, meaning "reward," "happy."

Aida is the name of a famous, tragic opera composed by Giuseppe Verdi. Set in Ancient Egypt, Aida is an Ethiopian princess who is captured and enslaved by the Egyptians. She and Radamès, an Egyptian military captain, fall in love. pronunciation: ay-ee-da, aid-ah

Allegra ~ Italian, meaning "cheerful," "lively," "playful."

Derived from the musical term "allegro" indicating the tempo, or speed, at which a piece should be played. Allegro usually indicates a lively and fast tempo. pronunciation: ah-leg-grah

Aria ~ Italian, meaning "air."

An aria is a piece of music written for a single voice or singer. Arias are most commonly associated with opera productions and refer to both male and female solos. Arias are usually part of a larger work and can be accompanied by instruments or sung without. pronunciation: ah-ree-ah

Bell ~ Old English, meaning "to roar," "to make loud noise."

Most know this word as the name of an instrument. A bell is used in both music and in other parts of life. Bells are commonly used in Christian churches to signal the beginning of service, and bells are also known to come in many shapes, sizes, and tones. pronunciation: bell

Cadence ~ Latin, meaning "a falling."

The term "cadence" is used, in Western music theory, to describe the end of a musical phrase in which a melody or harmony comes to a resolution. It always feels like closure, like a conclusion. pronunciation: kay-dence

Calliope ~ Greek, meaning "beautiful-voiced."

Calliope, in Greek mythology, is one of the nine Muses; goddesses of the arts and music. Calliope was the leader of the Muses and ruled over epic poetry. pronunciation: cah-lie-ah-pee

Carmen ~ Spanish, Latin, meaning "garden," "song."

Carmen is a French opera composed by Georges Bizet. Set in Spain, the story tells of a soldier, Don José, who abandons his post and sweetheart for the fearless, free-spirited, fiery, Romani girl Carmen. pronunciation: car-men

Carol ~ French, English, meaning "circle dance," "joyful song."

A carol is a type of song that is usually festive and sometimes religious in nature. Originally, many carols were upbeat and easy to dance to. pronunciation: care-ol

Cecilia ~ Latin, meaning "blind," also spelled as "Caecilia."

Cecilia is the Catholic patron saint of music. It is supposed that Cecilia was a Roman noble lady who was forced to marry despite her vow of virginity. At the wedding, Cecilia sang to God in her heart, and later, her husband Valerian promised to respect Cecilia's vow. Both she and her husband experienced Catholic martyrdom. pronunciation: seh-see-lee-ah, kae-kil-ee-ah

Celeste ~ French, meaning "heavenly."

Sometimes called a "celesta," a celeste is a musical instrument similar to a glockenspiel and resembling an upright piano. More tinkling, soft, and bell-like in sound and tone than a piano, the most famous music piece using a celeste is Tchaikovsky's "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy." pronunciation: seh-lest

Chantelle ~ French, meaning "singer."

Derived from the French verb "chanter," meaning "to sing," Chantelle is a wonderful name with a musical meaning. It can also be spelled as Chantel, and Chantal. pronunciation: shawn-tell

Clio ~ Greek, meaning "to recount," "to celebrate."

Clio, in Greek mythology, is one of the Nine muses; goddesses of the arts and music. Clio is mainly the muse of history, but is also occasionally considered the muse of lyre playing. pronunciation: clee-oh, cl-eye-oh

Demi ~ Italian, meaning "half."

In music, "demi" is rarely used on its own. In music theory, demi can sometimes be used to describe half of something. A demi-cadence (a half resolution), or a demisemiquaver note (half of a sixteenth note, so a thirty-second note). pronunciation: deh-mee

Giselle ~ French, meaning "pledge."

Giselle is the name of a popular ballet. It is considered a masterwork in classical ballet, and is not only one of the most-performed, but most challenging productions in the world of ballet. It tells the tragic, romantic story of young Giselle and a disguised noble, Albrecht. pronunciation: jih-zelle

Harmony ~ Greek, meaning "concord," "agreement," "joint."

Harmony is a huge concept and part of Western music, largely relating to the layering of complimentary notes and passages on top of a melody to create chords, textures, tonalities, and unique sounds in music. Harmonies can be both simple and complex. Sometimes the term "harmony" is used to refer to an ensemble line that is not the melody. pronunciation: har-mon-ee

Hilde ~ German, meaning "ready for battle," "battle woman."

Derived from Hildegard, Hildegard von Bingen was a composer, writer, philosopher, visionary, and medical writer from Germany in the Middle Ages. She is one of the best-known composers of sacred Christian music in the world and one of the best-recorded as well. pronunciation: hill-dah, hill-deh-gard

Kassia ~ Greek, Latin, meaning "hollow."

Sometimes seen as Cassia or Kassiani, Kassia was a Byzantine-Greek composer and poet who lived over 1,200 years ago. She is unique for being the sole female composer to exist in Byzantine liturgy with over 50 hymns and over 260 verses attributed to her. pronunciation: kah-see-ah

Lauda ~ Italian, meaning "praise."

A lauda was the singular most important form of sacred music in the late Medieval to Renaissance times in Italy. The lauda is largely considered the precurser to the modern Christmas carol. Laude are characterized by their simple melodies sung in the vernacular, which at the time, was Latin. pronunciation: lau-dah, lah-dah

Lyra ~ Greek, meaning "lyre."

Derived from "Lyre," Lyra is a feminine name related to the Ancient Greek stringed instrument. Lyres were usually played as accompaniment to epic poetry and story telling. The Ancient Greeks tended to strum the stings like a guitar, but other cultures plucked the strings like a harp. pronunciation: lie-ra

Madrigal ~ Latin, meaning "song for unaccompanied voices."

This term has a couple meanings when it comes to music. The earlier type of madrigal was a Medieval, Italian music form composed for two voices. Later, during the Renaissance and Baroque periods, madrigals were secular compositions written for two to eight voices with no instrumental accompaniment. pronunciation: mad-rih-gahl

Melody ~ Greek, meaning "singing," "chanting."

The term melody can describe the main tune of rhythms and pitches that make a song or piece. The foreground of a piece of music, the melody is arguably the most important element of composition. pronunciation: mel-oh-dee

Meret ~ Egyptian, meaning "she who is beloved."

In Ancient Egyptian mythology, Meret is the goddess of music, dancing, singing, and joy. She helps maintain cosmic order through music. She is usually seen with a blue lotus flower or papyrus reed. pronunciation: mehr-eht, mehr-iht

Musette ~ French, meaning "little bagpipe."

Derived from both "Muse," the name for the nine Ancient Greek goddess of music, literature, sciences, and the arts, as well as a type of French bagpipe, Musette is a great music-inspired name. pronunciation: moo-zette, myoo-zette

Octavia ~ Latin, meaning "eighth."

Octavia is a name taken from the Latin octave, meaning "eight." In music, an octave is a range of typically eight notes. The first and eighth note are always the same, with one higher than the other in pitch. pronunciation: oct-ehve

Scheherazade ~ Persian, meaning "exalted one," "noble lineage."

Known best as as the storyteller from the narrative A Thousand and One Nights, Scheherazade is also the name of an orchestral work composed by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov, which is acclaimed to have one of the most beautiful violin solos ever written. Scheherezade is not only a beautiful name, but also has nickname potential. pronunciation: sheh-hair-eh-zahd-eh, sheh-hair-eh-zahd-ee, sheh-hair-eh-zahd

Sirena ~ Greek, meaning "enchanter."

In Ancient Greek mythology, sirens were humanlike beings who often took on the appearances of beautiful women. They lived in the seas, singing in alluring voices, and luring men to their deaths. In modern tales, sirens and mermaids are sometimes described as the same creature. Sirena is derived from "siren." pronunciation: sir-een-ah

Symphonia ~ Greek, meaning "agreement."

"Symphonia" was sometimes used to describe various instruments, including bagpipes, drums, and a hurdy-gurdy. In more common knowledge, a "symphony" is an extended musical composition from Western classical music. Some of the most famous symphonies are Beethoven's Fifth, Mozart's 40th, and Dvořák's Ninth. pronunciation: sim-phone-ee-ah

Thalia ~ Greek, meaning "the joyous," "the flourishing."

Thalia, in Greek mythology, is one of the Nine muses; goddesses of the arts and music. Thalia is the muse of comedy, or, stories that have happy endings. She's sometimes portrayed with a horn or trumpet in hand. pronunciation: t-ah-lia, th-al-ia

Viola ~ Latin, Italian, meaning "violet," "of the arm."

The viola is a musical instrument slightly bigger than and lower in pitch than a violin. A traditional string quartet usually has two violins, a viola, and a cello. Overshadowed by the violin, violas are nevertheless beautiful instruments. pronunciation: vie-oh-la, vee-oh-la

These name lists are intended to help writers and artists. There is no expectation of credit, and these lists aren't meant to be the end-all be-all lists of possible names. There are millions out there, and this is just for fun!

If you have a suggestion for a name list, or want to see something specific, feel free to submit a request!

And if you see something that is wrong (a pronunciation, a meaning, an origin), again, feel free to let me know!

[beth0ftime]

Some thoughts about cpunk and mobility aids

I recently saw this post by @satellites-halo:

I think OP brings up a very good point here: if your mobility aid is obviously dangerous you can’t bring it places you’ll need to go. That said this isn’t the end of the story.

As a practitioner of HEMA (Historical European Martial Arts; using historical weapons from Europe) there are actually a lot of writings on using things like canes and chairs for self defense/offense. For example there was a several year streak in London where walking staffs were the most deadly weapon. When these books and treatises were written they weren’t adding spikes or barbed wire to these things.

I am pretty much a full time cane user due to my hEDS and POTS. I will not use it for a little bit but I end up unstable and in pain afterwards, I mainly do this for exercise/practice. So I have been very interested in learning how to use a cane in this way, as well as seeing how other, similar, aids have been used throughout history.

While not all of these forms of fighting are useful for all mobility aid users, such as full time wheelchair users or some forearm crutch users, there’s a surprising amount of people it will work for. For example, I’m currently reading a treatise by a man who is partially blind, that is his term with modern vocabulary we would call him legally blind, and he is good enough at fighting to be considered one of the most amazing swordsman and cane fighter. (It should be noted that he did not have access to glasses and mainly navigated the world tactually)

The only real requirement is that the aid should be built from a single piece (not any of the foldable kinds) and be of sturdy materials: metal, solid wood, etc. While I recognize that this does exclude a fair few mobility aids there’s still a fair few this works for: canes, rollators (though lifting them into position for fighting might be untenable for some people), forearm crutches (if used like a Roman forearm blade, again some may not be able to do this), and even some leashes for service dogs (used as a rope dart) to name a few. There are probably more in forgetting but it’s a lot.

The key thing about all of this is that you don’t have to add scary spikes that might make the TSA balk at you, you can just use a normal looking mobility aid to do the same thing. It should also be noted that most courts consider mobility aids to be part of the person using them for the purposes of assault charges; if someone touches your mobility aid in a way you don’t like, that’s assault and you can respond in kind. That isn’t legal advice and there’s still ‘appropriate force’ president to consider but twapping someone who is grabbing at your cane, especially maliciously, isn’t out of question for a normal reaction, and being good at doing so is preferable.

Ok, cool Beth, but what do I do with this info?

There’s a little part of this post that’s me trying to get more disabled people like me into a sport I love but I can’t do so without some caveats. Not all HEMA clubs are built the same and some can be downright nasty, please look up any club you consider joining and maybe ask a physical/occupational therapist before launching into a contact sport. If it’s not in your interest then that’s also fine, there are several forums that post book recommendations for learning cane fighting or uses of a chair in WWII fighting (what rollators are great for).

If you’re a cane user, there are actually custom canes that you can order that are especially made for fighting (that aren’t objectionable enough to be confiscated by anyone who does security) but also just getting a cane made from a hardwood works. The website https://canemasters.com has a great selection and a really nice custom ordering system.

I wish I had more for other forms of mobility aids but my research is limited, if you have more sources for this stuff please comment/repost with them. If that’s not your style my dms are always open for cool fighting stuff!

Be safe and stay punk!

[sinnaktuk]

Favorite funny dream from last year or so ago.

I was back in school and in my medieval art history class, we were talking about the depiction of religious men in art at the time. There was an oil painting of a monk/priest in training and it was called “Young Man in the Village.” The only thing that was strange about it was the man was veiled. He was wearing the same historic clothing contemporary with the 14th century but with an added almost sheer veil. (not so much hijab instead think dark wedding veil) My professor mentioned that it was an old practice that was almost completely abandoned by then. And my friend asked why and I said automatically, oh you know that one passage in the New Testament where the disciples were described as having illuminated faces and a glow to them. And my professor said yes and additional after the resurrection of Jesus Christ he was described as so beautiful and full of glory his face shown like the sun. So when a priest or monk was not around their own monastery they would wear these veils especially after completing their education go show they were enlightened and full of light. It was said their faces were illuminated and beautiful like Christ so it was a service for the regular people so they wouldn’t be blinded. Then my prof added it also is from the Roman practice of wearing a head covering mantle as Princeps.

For the next few days after this dream I was convinced it was real 😂 I was frantically searching online for any evidence of male veiling practices or anything about male veiling in Christianity. But I think it makes sense so yeah male veiling ✨

[weclassybouquetfun]

I'm seeing all of these headlines from critics about how ridiculous FAST X as if they are just learning what the Fast and Furious films are. They are ridiculous. And? So? Your point being? Are you going to write that Looney Toons cartoons are silly?

22 years, 10 films, countless implausible moments.

You're going to say the franchise is stupid because you have people driving through skyscrapers or parachuting with cars or even surfing on a car but you say nothing about how we're supposed to believe Paul Walker as an LAPD cop when no LAPD cop in the history of the force has ever looked like that?!

This is the real stretch of imagination.

FAST X. The X stands for X-TREME SPOILERS

THE GOOD -I like a bit of fan service and the franchise keeps doling out heaping helpings of it. We got Letty back, Han back, Owen Shaw, Deckard Shaw, Elena back (briefly), whoever the hell Lucas Black and Bow Wow played in TOKYO DRIFT, Hobbs back and now the gal - Gisele.

Their babies are no longer babies.

At this pace I can't even feel bad that John Cena's Jakob died because we didn't see his body. For all we know he could have jumped out the car when it exploded! We see Han's body and he still returned from the dead so...I'm just saying don't count your dead characters before they hatch.

-I loved that they tied this story into Fast Five because that film was my entry into the Fast and Furious films so I remember that one distinctly enough that I could appreciate how they re-did scenes to add the idea that Dante was in their orbit then.

-Following THE SUICIDE SQUAD's lead and relegating Scott Eastwood to bit player. This feels like they were just trying to help him retain his SAG-AFTRA health insurance.

-The twist with Alan Ritchson's character. They intro him giving a wall of exposition about how the "cult with cars" win everyone over and then we see him won over and I think, "Exactly. As it should be." But no! Mans was luring Dom into a false sense of security. Dom was probably too blinded by that tan Ritchson was sporting for some reason.

-Paul Walker's daughter Meadow having a small role. Wouldn't be la familia without her.

-Jason Momoa was having so much fun and he certainly made for an entertaining villain. I'm all in for a villain who wears nail polish and space buns. And I liked how they actually used his photos from his BAYWATCH: HAWAII and STARGATE ATLANTIS years instead of photoshopping it.

THE BAD -Momoa IMO didn't find a good balance between unhinged lunacy and camp. I wish he was able to blend the menacing aspects of the character into his character when he was being more flamboyant. I think an actor who pulled that balance off perfectly was Chris Pine in SMOKIN' ACES.

-I can turn my brain off, I want to be entertained. If I wanted to logic police these films I'd just tweet Neil DeGrasse Tyson and ask his opinion. That said, bad writing is bad writing and this film had some awful writing. The script was written by Justin Lin, Dan Mazeau (Wrath of Titans) and Zach Dean (The Tomorrow War). I like to think Justin Lin knew some parts of the script was absolute dog piss and quit because he didn't want to have to massage a performance out of his actors using those words.

Justin Lin when handing in the final draft to Universal.

-The CGI was so bad! Regressively so. It was like they were using 2001 technology in some of the big scenes.

THE REST A cliffhanger? Editors exist for a reason. You're telling me I am going to have to sit through another 2 hours watching Letty, Cipher and Gisele on their sub adventure through Antarctica, Deckard saving his mum, Dante acting like he's on RuPaul's Drag Race, Roman with the weak jokes (Tyrese isn't as funny as he thinks he is), then a race to hurriedly find a way to give Brie Larson something substantive to do and because everyone comes back, we will see the return of Mr. Nobody (Kurt Russell) and then shoehorn back in Rita Moreno to close out the film with another speech about family?

[darknessisafriend]

My never ending loyalty

Here's another wonderful request! this one is from @davrosfan23

This time a male reader, preatorian's guard love story with his emperor on the Eve of the fight against Maximus.

As always comments, likes, reblogs are very appreciated, they are my only salary ;)

I closed my eyes as I drank fresh water, how refreshing, how thirsty I was. Today, it was sunny and hot, just like every summer in Rome. The crowd in the city and gathering by the Colosseum didn’t help, I felt like I was suffocating sometimes as I escorted my Emperor to watch the games. My heavy armor was sticking to my damp clothes, dirt and dust mingling with the sweat on my skin…yet I remained focused, my eyes glued on my Emperor as he walked before me.  

I was proud and honored to serve Commodus, just like the rest of the Praetorians and people of the army. Soldiers loved Commodus because he valued the army, valued their lives and rewarded them as due. And he was a fighter, a good one, training every day at various disciplines. We were all devoted to him, but I was even more. I had joined the army on the day Commodus was announced to succeed to the great Marcus Aurelius, I fought hard to be the best, be noticed. And here I was, 2 years after I had joined the Praetorian unit, his personal guard, the closest one could get to the Emperor.  

I detailed him as I did so many times, he was strongly built from all the exercise he did every day, from hunting to wrestling and any other gladiatorial skills. His posture confident, as if nothing could stop him on his way, his right fist was slightly closed, a sign of tension. Since the start of my service for Commodus I had noticed how stressed he was, obsessed by what people thought of him, it was a daily worry for him. Added to that the growing influence of Maximus, making him fear for his life. My gaze was briefly distracted by a roman lady wanting to get close to Commodus and touch him, I pushed her away strongly; no one could touch him, even if I wish I could…to bury my fingers in his silky hair or kiss his scarred lips. I quickly shook my head to focus once again, the more time passed and the more I struggled with my growing feelings for my Emperor. Hearing agitation behind him, the Emperor turned his head, making brief eye contact with me. I had chills running down my spine, those icy eyes noticing me... what did he think of me? Was he mad? Was he thankful? The truth was that he didn’t think any of those, he just didn’t care, our eye contact was merely an accident. But I was blinded by my feelings, leaving a true fantasy in my mind.   

Once the Emperor sat and I stood at my position, I finally could relax: unlike my fellows, I didn’t watch the games. My eyes were locked on Commodus, observing his every reaction. I smiled as he cheered during the chariot race, he was enjoying himself freely, a boyish look of wonder in his eyes, a big smile on his face. I wanted this moment to last forever, me and him…watching the games together, side by side. After a moment, I noticed he didn’t have any wine left and the slave filling his glass was too absorbed by the games. I clenched my jaw, such a poor service. So, without thinking, I decided to take care of it on my own. I put my shield aside and grabbed the amphora from the slave’s hands, approaching the emperor. Commodus didn’t react at first, too absorbed by the games to notice the difference.  

“Your Highness.” I spoke without thinking once I had filled his glass. His eyes shot at me, at first angry a slave had dare to speak to him. But he quickly noticed my black armor, a brief flash of surprise passed through his eyes before understanding I had served him. And as soon as his eyes landed on me, they went back to watching the games as if I was nothing. And I was, but I kept hoping to be noticed. 

In fact, that day the Emperor’s good mood didn’t last long: Maximus…that former general was being a problem and a big one. Of course, I knew he was a traitor and to be executed but the man was good at gathering the crowd on his side. Commodus was growing worried, his fingers nervously brushing over his lips, pinching them sometimes. Anger was radiating off him, to the point that even I and my fellow guards stayed quiet to not receive his anger. His eyes were filled with hatred and…fear. In fact, I supposed that from the start the Emperor was afraid, everyone knew how much pressure he always had on his shoulders, how much people constantly compared him to his father and how dangerous Maximus was for his reign. I was taken by empathy for Commodus, did no one care to give him a chance to prove himself? I would have, a thousand times… 

To say the rest of the day went terrible was an understatement. The crowd cheering Maximus’ name instead of honoring Commodus for organizing such great games. The senators whispering their critics while looking at the Emperor and then even Commodus’s sister, Lucilla, not understanding his anger and frustrations. It ended into a fight; Commodus went to lock himself in his private quarters. On his way he briefly came closer to me. “Make sure no one disturbs me, not even my nephew and sister.” He ordered me before slamming the door shut. I took a deep breath, calming my racing heart, any slight attention from him made me lose my means; but I wouldn’t disappoint him, I was ready to stay awake all night to make sure my comrades would accomplish their shift properly.  

But after a hot day full of challenges, the quietness and the cool temperature of the night was getting the best of me, I was struggling against my eyelids getting heavier each time, refusing to end my shift, wanting to impress my Emperor. I leaned against my spear, doing my best not to stumble from sleepiness. When suddenly I was startled by the door of the Emperor opening, almost dropping my spear but a hand caught it. I turned my head and saw that Commodus had caught my spear. He wasn’t in his night robes, probably suffering from a sleepless night. I blushed and swallowed down as I met his eyes; he was tired and yet couldn’t sleep. 

“Careful. You should go to sleep if you are tired. Otherwise, how can you fulfill your duty?” he asked, his voice surprisingly soft, not a trace of anger in it. I quickly bowed at him, my face all red. 

“My deepest apologies, Your Highness! I wanted…you said to make sure no one would disturb you.” I explained, feeling like an idiot, he would surely think I didn’t trust my comrades in watching over him. My words were followed by a moment of silence. But then I heard the most melodious thing I ever heard, a laugh, he was chuckling at my words, slightly smiling.  

“I appreciate your devotion. That won’t be forgotten, it will even be rewarded.” He replied honestly, he appreciated me! In fact, he was probably just craving for people he could trust. As I was about to bow again, he stopped me.  

“I can’t find sleep, I’m craving to train, my day sitting and eating dates wasn’t satisfying at all.” He said, I had noticed he tended to nibble on food often during the day, probably a reaction to stress. “Come with me. I will test your skills.” He added, in other words he was ordering me to spare with him in the middle of the night. I was honored and excited about this, yet I hoped to satisfy him.  

Before I could understand what was happening, I was on my way, walking by the side of the Emperor, just us, in the moonlight. Perhaps I was overly romantic and imaging things but that walk, as quiet as it was felt intimate. We walked to the private training ground of the Emperor, also where us, the praetorians trained in our free time.  

“What is your name?” he asked as he stretched a little, looking at me intensely. 

“Y/N, Your Highness.” I replied, bowing my head once again while he nodded. I swear if he starts calling me by my name, I would be a very poor training partner.  

“Let’s start with wrestling. If you are good enough for me, we will move onto swords.” He spoke, his voice more excited now, eager to train and perhaps vent.  

“Yes, Your Highness.” I replied, putting down my spear, shield, sword, chest plate and helmet. I could feel Commodus gaze on me, observing me, analyzing me. 

“You are a curious one.” He stated, approaching me and circling around me slowly, the fight had started. “I never noticed you before. Until today, 3 times you found yourself on my path. I’m curious as to why the gods seem to put you there.” He added, launching his first attack since I didn’t dare to. I quickly blocked his attack, pushing him away as if I was troubled to feel his touch on my skin.  

“Forgive me if it upset you. I assure you that it is not intentional, I simply intervened when I considered you were not being served properly.” I replied, doing my best to look at him, I shouldn’t disappoint him by being a poor training partner, I had instead to secure my place as such and more perhaps. So, I attacked, grabbing his shoulders, and with my legs trying to make him lose balance. As my body was half pressed against his, I felt how strong he was, easily standing his ground without any hint of fear. He grinned, pleased that I was finally fighting back and showing part of my abilities. 

“And you did serve me well. How far would you go for me?” he asked. The question took me by surprise, but I already knew the answer: I would do anything for him, from the most humiliating things to the biggest sacrifice, my own life. I heavily blushed at those thoughts and stumbled, dragging by the mistake the Emperor in my fall. He landed right on top of me, I groaned before understanding and looking at him with wide eyes. He was straddling me, an amused look in his eyes. “So? What would you do for me soldier?” he asked again.  

I swallowed down, trying to avoid my body getting any reaction from this embarrassing position. For a brief moment I got lost in his icy eyes, how handsome he was…but I suddenly reversed positions, taken by passion, finding myself on top of him, a position that could lead to my death, but I didn’t think clearly in that precise moment. This time Commodus seemed to be the one taken aback, staring at me, his gaze getting lost in mine, did he find me to his liking? Did he notice something? Was he secretly planning my execution? 

“I would do anything, Imperator. I would die of a slow and painful death, take the blame for you, I would serve you whatever as a slave, exoleti* or your right hand...!” I answered passionately, my voice louder than his, I was proud of what I felt for him. Commodus stared at me in amazement, his heart swelling with affection, this was all he ever wanted from his people, a complete and pure devotion. However, no matter how pleased he was by my answer, he couldn’t let me win so easily, the Emperor was always fighting until his last breath, with honor. He instantly grabbed my throat and used a thrust of his hips to balance his weight to push me over. I struggled against him, sometimes grabbing his leg to try to immobilize him. But he suddenly managed to twist around, giving an elbow kick in my liver, a dirty move but clever one anyway; I gasped in pain, briefly clenching my belly before suddenly being thrown on the sand, face first, Commodus twisting my arm behind my back, not too painful but enough to prevent me from struggling.  

“To honor your good words soldier. I grant you the victory over this fight.” He said quietly, detailing me in a way that made me understand to be thankful for it, as he got up, not bothering to dust himself off “Your Emperor is pleased, Y/N” he added with a small smile and leaned closer to me to whisper “I shall keep you close. For when the time comes.” He murmured before parting me, his voice gave me goosebumps, how much my heart melted! I bowed my head respectfully, relieved that the darkness of the night was covering my red cheeks. Yet I was disappointed our first sparing was so short, probably that Commodus himself had been surprised by my attitude. I escorted back my Emperor to his chambers but before closing the doors, he turned to look at me.  

“Prepare yourself. I wish to train with you in the coming days. I want you to give better than your best.” He instructed before closing the door. I didn’t know how to process the news; it was a great honor and yet great pressure. It seems like the Emperor was preparing for war, quite literally, he wanted to fight that gladiator…? 

I was eager for my next training session with Commodus but several days passed without it happening. I often looked at Commodus with hope, but he was ignoring me, pretending we didn’t know each other at all. I kept escorting him the whole day, anywhere he went, even discreetly receiving teasing from my comrades. 

“Hey, stop looking at him that way, are you in love or what?” they chuckled, making me heavily blush, I gave them a nudge of my shoulder, clenching my jaw. Men who loved men weren’t especially highly regarded in Rome, even more passive men. No one imagined Commodus as a passive man so of course I would suffer that reputation.  

“I’m just assuring his security, better than you all. Are you jealous because I was honored to train with him?” I retorted; they well knew the Emperor had chosen me for training. My words made them silent, and I grinned proudly, back to my confident self once again. I was soon distracted by a conversation I overheard. 

“Brother, you can’t fight in the Colosseum. The Senate will laugh at you and the people of Rome will think they are governed by gladiator. This is not the place of an Emperor.” Said Lucilla seriously even if her tone seemed slightly cautious as if she feared him. 

“The senators won’t laugh as I cut the head of my adversary and throws it at their faces. Just like the people always loved me because I know how to fight, protect them, a hero, a Hercules. I am the People, my soldiers and praetorians are my family.” He told his sister passionately. He was decided and no one could change his mind “Even your son understands better the stakes than you do.” He said pained that even his sister didn’t understand him nor supported him.  

“Commodus please-” tried again Lucilla. 

“Enough.” He interrupted her, now frustration obvious in his tone, he was losing patience. And I could hear him walk away from her, grab a cup of wine to drink it “Leave, sister. I need to prepare myself for the fight. Do not mention your views again.” He ordered. I was tempted to comfort my Emperor, show him my support but that would be totally out of place and inappropriate. Suddenly his sister busted out of his quarters, almost slamming the door into our noses since we listened to the whole conversation. She turned around and looked at me, a mix of anger and veiled intentions.  

“Since my brother refuses to listen to his own sister, perhaps he will listen to soldiers since he says they are his true family.” She started “Try to make sure he doesn’t become more the laughingstock than he already is.” She whispered. I clenched my jaw at her words, how humiliating and how wrong she was.  The Senate mocked him but never the people. But I maintained my composure and bowed my head at her, I would always watch after him, even if Commodus ordered me not to.  

The sleepless nights followed, Commodus becoming even more restless, his insomnia driven by deep anxiety and every night we trained together in the imperial palace. We didn’t talk as much as the first time and the Emperor needed to vent, but the looks he gave me were stronger than any word. Despair, worry, fear, melancholia. I fought as hard as I could against him, sometimes winning over him and sometimes losing. But Commodus wasn’t giving up, he had the will of a bull and never ended a training session on a defeat. However, the night on the eve of the fight was different… 

We were training as usual, our bodies sweaty for the heat of the night. We had been training for nearly two hours now, I was tempted to tell my Emperor to stop and rest for the fight of tomorrow, but I knew he would have declined, he was deadly anxious, and I could feel it; his attacks were less controlled, no strategy behind them, more desperate. He started hitting and hitting repeatedly, I could only block and let him attack and attack until he slipped from the strength of his attack and fell on the ground, panting. I was about to offer him my hand to stand but I heard a noise I never thought I would hear...he was crying, his face against his forearm, some tears landing on the hot sand, his sobs resonating in the silent night. I was at a loss for words. I didn’t know whatever turn around to give him some privacy or take him in my arms. His whole body was trembling, he was having a mental breakdown. How many bad thoughts and feelings he had cumulated inside him since the death of his father, bottling them up inside, so much that it had to explode at one moment or the other. 

I ended up kneeling in front of him, my hand reaching out, wanting to caress his hair but I resigned myself and put my hand on his shoulder, gently. He didn’t flinch but froze. I feared I was going to anger him so I retracted my hand instantly, pale on my face. 

“Your Highness! I am so sorry I didn’t mean to...!” he stood up, his face emotionless thought red and stained with tears. He had realized he was letting himself being weak in front of a stranger. 

“I was crying of joy for the battle to come. Thank you for your training soldier. You can retire now.” he spoke, his voice cold, he was obviously meaning the opposite, terrified to die, to be ridiculed and forgotten. I stood up as well and deeply bowed at him.  

“At your service, Your Highness. Anything you desire I will accomplish”. I added fondly before leaving in a hurry, thoughtful over what just happened. As I went further away in the direction of the soldier's barracks, I could faintly hear more sobs, Commodus had decided to remain alone, hide himself to cry. 

Once on my bed, I laid for hours awake, relieving that scene again and again. I was growing worried, wishing I could do more to help my dear Commodus. Especially as I had a bad feeling about tomorrow. And I couldn’t be righter. 

The first lights of the day came too fast, the atmosphere in the Imperial Palace was like thunder, as if once spark could make everything burn. Commodus’s face was even more ashen than mine, bag underneath his eyes which were red from crying, he looked rather miserable. Even if his beautiful white armor crafted especially for the occasion was astounding. As he tightened his sheath belt around his waist, he briefly glanced at me, a brief weak smile in his eyes.  

“Your Highness...would you give me the honor to assist?" I asked before thinking that I could sound disrespectful. But with a wave of his hand, he dismissed the slaves around. 

“After all, a soldier knows better than a slave on how to prepare the Emperor for a fight.” he replied softly and gestured for me to come closer. I obeyed and detailed him, wanting to make sure he was perfect. I noticed the belts on the sides of his armor weren’t so well tightened. “Allow me.” he breathed, lightly pressing my hand against his waist as I tightened the belt, I could feel the tip of my ears burning. Once I was done, I took a step back; his eyes were locked on me “His Majesty is beyond perfection as always. May the gods reward grant me the honor of that sight every day until I die.” I murmured, I couldn’t help but fear for his life and I had to expose my feelings more, to give him a reason to fight harder, he wasn’t alone. He swallowed down and briefly closed his eyes to thank me. Perhaps he was finally understanding that there could be someone else than his sister in his life. 

The moment of truth arrived, the moment that I was praying the gods to never let arrive. When the Emperor got up to walk towards the arena, my heart skipped a beat in anxiety, now beating like crazy. My hand instinctively wanted to reach out at him, like a mom wanting to keep her cub safe. But I couldn’t keep him safe, I was completely useless for my Commodus right now, what a humiliation. Everything I could do was joining my comrades in watching the fight, I couldn’t help but look at Maximus with hate, and I think the others noticed, since I heard whispering and giggling around me, what a bunch of morons.  

Despite the hate I was feeling, my mind was begging him to spare his adversary, to not go too harsh on him, but deep down I knew my pleads were being wasted.  

The fight soon started, the crowd around cheering, some calling Maximus’s name, others calling the Emperor, which seemed so pleased by his people loving him. Those calls and shouts were giving him strength, he was dominating the gladiator in that fight, his confidence growing with his skills at every right attack. I was starting to believe the gods – and maybe Maximus – had listened to my prayers. But I was wrong.  

Soon a grunt of pain could be heard resonating from the arena, plenty of people gasping, while others cheered louder, excitedly calling the gladiator’s name. I saw in horror the Emperor holding his own shoulder, the sword flew far from him as his hand was stained in his own blood. Yet he was keeping such a proud expression, outraged by the audacity that gladiator had for wounding him that way. With great surprise and pleasure, I noticed Maximus stumble, his gaze lost and visibly tired, he was holding his own hip, or maybe stomach, I couldn’t see well. Commodus looked towards Quintus, not sure he could trust him at that moment, but he had no choice.  

“Quintus, a sword!” He ordered, sometimes staring at Maximus to control him. Quintus didn’t move. He was like a wax statue, immobile, observing the show, almost amused at the sight of his Emperor struggling without his sword. 

“GIVE ME YOUR SWORD!” ordered Commodus again in a yell, his arm still bleeding, his eyes wide with worry and adrenaline. Quintus ignored him once again, silently mocking him, reminding him once again he was alone in that battle. I retained myself with all my strengths from reaching him to murder him on the spot, what a bastard. Commodus’s expression went from worried to panicked when Quintus didn’t help him, he started frantically looking around, at everyone, his eyes pleading for a hint of solidality. 

“A SWORD, GIVE ME A SWORD!” He kept begging, screaming, on the verge of tears probably, as he looked in fear Maximus recovering strength slowly despite his tragic conditions. Quintus finally moved, approaching the guards around the Emperor and the gladiator, ordering them to put back the swords in their sheaths.  

I looked at Quintus and my comrades, what were they doing? Why was no one handing a sword to their Emperor!? My heart started to explode in my chest, pumping so hard in could barely hear my racing thoughts.  

“TRAITORS” I yelled at them and quickly unsheathed my sword and ran to Commodus before anyone could stop me.  He seemed to realize that once again I was there for him, his eyes full of appreciation, and other emotions I couldn’t exactly describe in that moment. I sincerely smiled, probably more than I should have, but it didn’t matter at that moment, I was just happy to help him gain that win. I grabbed my sword by the blade, handing it to him from the side of the handle, so he could have another confirmation he could trust me fully, I got myself a bleeding hand for him.  

“Get back at your place. Now.” He ordered to me with a powerful voice, wanting to show anger towards me, so I immediately obeyed, so I could observe him proudly fight like we practiced so many times, also enjoying the gaze of absolute defeat in Quintus’s face and on the face of many senators that were probably craving to see their Emperor fall in disgrace in the arms of death.  

The fight stopped following certain rules and techniques when Maximus was half dead and Commodus deadly tired, both attacking each other with the only strength the taste of victory could give. I was partly reassured that he had a weapon, but my heart didn’t stop racing, it wouldn’t until Maximus was dead. Especially that I could feel Commodus’ exhaustion and started to worry he might be dying too. But soon, his sword in a last desperate attack pierced Maximus chest...the battle finished, Commodus tossed the sword I gave him next to the gladiator’s corpse, many people celebrating his victory. With my soul, I was among those people too, a big smile appeared on my face, proud of my Emperor and even more in love. I was so relieved he was finally victorious and safe. 

That night, I was exhausted. I was barely able to stand up and keep escorting the Emperor as he celebrated his victory. I couldn’t wait to enjoy myself a deep and prolonged slumber after sleepless nights spent on training Commodus. All that lack of rest had been worth it at the end, I ended up thinking, relieved. As I came back to realitty, my eyes met Commodus’s ones again, my heart skipped another beat. This time, his gaze was way softer than the first time, which gave my soul such a warmth that only the purest of deities could give. He was probably retiring in his chamber as well, before quickly approaching me.  

“I think that behind every successful leader, stands a loyal man like you, Y/N.” He spoke with gentleness. “Thank you.” He then said, smiling a bit. I smiled back, warmed up even more, in fact my cheeks were red, his words were simply too much to handle for my heart.  

“It’s been an honor being at your service, Your Highness... being by your side during training and during the battle was a duty and a pleasure.” I told him, bowing. He openly appreciated that bow, and gently bowed his head as well in return.  

“Very well... since you’re so open to service, I would appreciate your presence by me for another nocturn walk.” he dropped, rather joyful. He already went on his way, dismissing any slave following. I followed eagerly; I was the only remaining Praetorian, all the others had been executed already, just like the traitorous senators. Only Lucilla was left but sent to exile on Capri while her son Lucius would remain by the side of the Emperor to succeed him.  

Soon we were alone walking among the imperial gardens. Commodus took a deep breath, enjoying fresh air in his lungs after a day in the burning sand of the Colosseum. His head turned towards me, as he came to a halt. “You can rest at ease. I wish to speak with you privately, not as your Emperor but as a friend.” he instructed softly. By the gods, tonight he had a talent to make me feel weak. I took off my helmet and set aside my spear. “Thanks to you Y/N I got to clear my surroundings. And I should thank Maximus who enabled me to expose those ready to stab me in the back. Now the Empire is anew, off to a fresh start, an Empire at my image.” he smiled and appraoched me once again. “An Empire where you have your place by my side.” he said with a pleased smile, his eyes detailing my face, briefly seeming to focus on my lips. “Tell me Y/N. Days ago you declared being ready to do anything for me, even being an exoleti*... was it by pure devotion to your duty or is that devotion rooted elsewhere?” he asked. He was a clever man, he had surely noticed my lingering looks, a devotion so foolish that I faced danger without thinking. I looked down, feeling embarasssement, perhaps I should tell him, otherwise how could he trust me? 

“His highness is right, my devotion to your person goes beyond duty. Forgive me if my words offend you, but I have grown fond of you. You are a man of great intelligence and sensitivity, who is not afraid of following his passions, a fresh air in the Empire. I found myself wishing to train more with you, to hold you in my arms when you cannot sleep, to kiss your tears away as you cry...and to worship your body as I would worship the one of Phoebus*” I confessed, daring to look at him in the eyes and now awaiting for my punishement for insulting my Emperor. But nothing came, not a blow, a shout or cold blade. Instead Commodus was watching me intensely, his face almost boyish, as if his cold mask had cracked.  

“Would you stay with me tonight then?” he asked, his breathing slightly increasing, his eyes filled with an hopeful glow. So many times his request had been rejected by his sister and others that he expected the same. I swallowed damn, barely managing to believe what he was suggesting me but it was now or never. 

“I would be a great honor your highness.” he replied, kneeling in front of him and taking his hand, kissing his imperial ring fondly. He snorted, relieved and started smiling, relaxed and genuinely happy.  

“Please, call me Commodus.” he cooed, a fresh start for his Empire indeed. 

*Male prostitute  

*Phoebus: god of masculine beauty, arts , poetry and of the Sun 

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@kfanniart

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[ray2007-imarealpersoniprommy]

turtle Story ideas

Twins get captured + turned into humans

2012 + ROTTMNT meet - All of 2012 relate to Leo and Dee2012 Mikey gets yoinked -Mikey is younger with than Leo and Dee and therefore gets adopted by Leo with Casey

Leo + Donnie hide their true potential

Both Mikey and Leo died after the Kraang battle

4 + 1 fic where April sees each of the brothers going wild-animal feral + she’s the one that goes feral for them once

Ocs X Turtles

Dimension travel

Sickfic (Leo is doctor, Leo gets sick, everyone else freaks tf out)

Leo + Donnie are Actual Twins, same species (also they do the Twin Things™. Matching outfits, weirdly in sync, twin ESP where they share thoughts at random??)

Leo is as smart as Donnie (he’s just silly)

Cold weather = hibernation

Mute Leo + blind Donnie + Deaf Ralph (bonus: Mikey is their translator/service brother)

Leo with tics and constant anxiety, Donnie always near Leo (emotional support twin)Panic attacks and how the brothers deal with them

Leo + Donnie had an unknown friend (half-breed human/griffon mutant)

Transgender Leo+Mikey + Donnie doesn’t want gender

Soft shell Leo, Donnie makes shell reinforcement (got ambushed once, shell ripped apart, big scars)

Leo ALWAYS has music on. Someone takes his headphones and he gets PISSED

Leo gets turned into human, brothers send him to school to see what other kids their age are learning (brothers see how stressed Leo is and try to help him but they don’t know how to)

Leo + Donnie were not saved from the beginning by Splinter and were raised by Big Mama (Leo is a femboy but still older and protective of Donnie, and Donnie is more of a demonic turtle and will fight for Leo is needed, but Leo does that more) Donnie still is a NERRRRD

Donnie, Mikey, and Ralph all have been captured and the villain is making Leo kill people to get his brothers back (like a personal assassin)

Leo can’t talk but he can chirp, none of his family members can understand him except Donnie so he’s the translator,

Donnie dies. Leo can see ghosts. Donnie haunts the fam

FNAF AU: Ralph = Freddy, Donnie = Bonnie, Mikey - Chica, Leo = Foxy

SBI/DSMP + ROTTMNT AU

Zombie Apocalypse AU - Twins both zombies but Donnie’s half-immune (twins are cure)

Shapeshifter Twins AU (+ Mikey who can only be animals) (Ralph can make clones)

Forest AU

Mystical AU

Dino AU (raptor)

Genderswap AU

SpeciesSwap AU

Double Mutation AU (Donnie + Leo)

Future Leo meets past

Leo was not taken by Splinter and he’s now a depressed killer

Greek or Roman God/Nymph Au

Futuristic (3300 or something like that) AU

Greek God AU (Sons of Pan)

httyd/rottmnt AU

All brothers forget leo and he leves and after 3 years they remember him then go looking for him

It's mostly about the twins but you know

Also my friend helped me do some of these

[catholicism-connoiseur]

"And lo, came a sign"

So lately I've been remarkably unemployed and unremarkably depressed. Been an eventful few months emotionally and mentally speaking, and between that and new medication, I've been in a slightly bizarre headspace at times. However, recently, I've been attending regular therapy, and after one such session, I found myself at a loss for something to do whilst still in town. Bars not open yet, friends either off for the day or still in work for another few hours, and I'd already had myself some of the only decent coffee in town.

And so I think to myself; "What's the most fun a girl can have on a budget?"

And lo, came a sign: St. Peters Roman Catholic church, in all its 19th century French Gothic glory. I entered the church's lofty doorway to take brief shelter in its comparative warmth. Notably, this wasn't the first time I had stopped into the church. What with the state of the modern economy and the greed of corporate capitalism, it is increasingly difficult to leave the house without spending money on some product, amenity or service, if even for the simple pleasure of sitting down someplace. Drogheda's meagre few and underfunded free public services compile a rather short list, so the litany of churches to which entry and perusal costs nothing becomes a more appealing option to pass time.

This time though, I happened upon the church at an opportune time. Turns out, Wednesday is St. Peter's day for confession, that ever-sought-after absolution of sin and wrongdoing. As my current belief system does not revolve around the rotting guilt that Catholicism so often stitches seamlessly to one's psyche, the procedure and philosophy of confessing one's "sins" to an oh-so-forgiving god is one not un-abhorret to me, but admittedly, and quite simply, I was curious. There is no such danger to the mind as a complete lack of doubt; blind faith in anything can be exactly that, and one can easily reject one staunch absolute for another. I wanted to experience that which I held such complex contempt for, to examine within myself whether it was justified and founded in an accurate representation of the practice.

So for the first time in my adult life, I sat in line for confession.

Upon entering the room, my first impression was genuine surprise. There was no booth. No conventional two-part stall in which one could discreetly absolve their burdens of sin. I was taken aback: to my mind, and through all media representation, the booth is a staple and arguably crucial part of the procedure!

To forego the anonymity of the booth was a shock I had little time to assess though, as I now sat across from the priest and had to look him in the eye (an encroachment I was not remotely prepared for) as I verbally fumbled for a reason to be there. I mumbled an ambiguous and vague misdeed, trying to balance a transgression that would feasibly warrant a 21st century lady such as myself going to confession with something I actually considered to be a moral "sin" in hopes to maintain a scrap of my wildly precarious integrity in the moment.

The priest, to his credit, maintained professionalism in the face of what was no doubt an unusual character for his line of work, and prescribed 5 Hail Mary's and 2 Our Father's: a reasonably indistinct penance for a similarly unclear sin. I promptly thanked him, muttered a "Peace be with you", silently questioned whether that was even standard protocol for confession, and left.

As I descended the time-softened steps of the church, I contemplated what I'd seen. Overwhelmingly, I felt that it would be a disservice to both my own piqued curiosity and to the potential for a uniquely funny personal project to abandon further analysis here. So I resolved to bring this to counsel from my friends and companions and gather their input on the matter.

And later that week, the plans were laid out.

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 2/5

Book blurb: She has power over death. He has power over her. When two enemies strike a dangerous bargain, will they end a war . . . or ignite one?

Heroes die, cowards live. Daughter of a conquered world, Ruying hates the invaders who descended from the heavens long before she was born and defeated the magic of her people with technologies unlike anything her world had ever seen.

Blessed by Death, born with the ability to pull the life right out of mortal bodies, Ruying shouldn’t have to fear these foreign invaders, but she does. Especially because she wants to keep herself and her family safe.

When Ruying’s Gift is discovered by an enemy prince, he offers her an impossible deal: If she becomes his private assassin and eliminates his political rivals—whose deaths he swears would be for the good of both their worlds and would protect her people from further brutalization—her family will never starve or suffer harm again. But to accept this bargain, she must use the powers she has always feared, powers that will shave years off her own existence.

Can Ruying trust this prince, whose promises of a better world make her heart ache and whose smiles make her pulse beat faster? Are the evils of this agreement really in the service of a much greater good? Or will she betray her entire nation by protecting those she loves the most?

Review: A girl gifted with powers over death finds herself forced to wield it under the colonizer Roman prince who wants her to kill for him in exchange for the safety of her family... he promises that he will save her kingdom... yet the truth behind his actions is far different, but her heart can't help but be swayed... will it be too late when she finds out the truth? Ruying lives in a world that is being colonized by Romans. Her people are being killed, drugged, trafficked, and worst... all because the Romans want to take over. Yet her people were gifted with magical abilities, and Ruying's in particular is a deadly gift. Ruying has powers over death but every time she uses it, it shortens her own life. The only thing Ruying has is her sister and her grandmother, she'll do anything to protect them and to protect herself. Heroes die, cowards live, and that has been Ruying's motto to survival. Yet when she catches the eye of one of the Roman princes her life soon is in his hands as he tortures, kidnaps, and forces her to work for him in exchange for her life and the safety of her family. Yet the more time she spends with him the more she begins to fall for him and his pretty words, his promise of a world he is trying to create... of peace he promises to ensure the moment he takes over the throne... but what are pretty words when her people are dying and the more people close to her try to get her to see the truth of her Roman prince the more her heart will be tested. This was a strange book for me, especially knowing what I know about the background of the book and the author's own story. The book itself is about a young naive girl gifted with powers but being stockholm syndrome and the fact that she is falling for the foreign invader/colonizer who claims he is different when he is in fact much worse. See this book can be seen as problematic, yet it can also be seen as a case of "enemies to lovers" with problematic tastes. I can't fault Ruying because she is young, she's going through so much and she's barely given affection or love and after enduring so much, when someone promises her that they understand her, give her a bit of affection, and promise to give her everything she want's, she's bound to turn a blind eye to all the red flags. It makes you frustrated as a reader, it makes you want to shake her, just like everyone around her wanted to shake her and get her to see the truth. The book isn't terrible, it's just a weird one to read that kind of leaves you with the feeling of a bit of "eh" and "I don't know how to feel about this." As someone who reads a lot of "enemies to lovers" and dark romances, this one definitely toes in that line because she really is falling for someone terrible, yet at the same time she herself, is committing atrocities and you can sort of blame it on her environment, her situation, and who she is as a person... but it doesn't mean you have to like it or even really root for it. I can understand the complaints about this being considered a "colonizer romance" because honestly, it's not that far off but with the ending it has you questioning whether or not the author will lean into the romance in the sequel and how the author would redeem the love interest if they did. I honestly would have preferred if this was a straight up revenge/action story rather than having any romance in it at all. The romance aspect felt gross and unnecessary and I would have loved this more if it were about Ruying getting revenge rather than her falling for the guy colonizing her land.... so yeah. Honestly, if you like enemies to lovers in the truest sense, I guess I would recommend this to you.

*Spoiler: Ruying finds out that Anthony lied to her and has been experimenting on her people (he lied and said hed freed her friend but instead kept experimenting on her) she also finds out he killed all the people and kidnapped her in the beginning's raid because he wanted her and wanted to manipulate her to be his. They only get as far as kissing but they both fall for each other. That is until Ruying finds out all of the truth behind him and she begins working for the rebels instead.

*Thanks Netgalley and Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine | Del Rey for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

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THE DESCRIPTION OF SAINT LAWRENCE OF ROME The Patron of Comedians and Archivists Feast Day: August 10

The esteem in which the Church holds Lawrence is seen in the fact that today’s celebration ranks as a feast. We know very little about his life. He is one of those whose martyrdom made a deep and lasting impression on the early Church. Celebration of his feast day spread rapidly.

He was a Roman deacon under Pope Saint Sixtus II. Four days after this pope was put to death, Lawrence and four clerics suffered martyrdom, probably during the persecution of the Emperor Valerian.

Legendary details of Lawrence's death were known to Damasus, Prudentius, Ambrose, and Augustine. The church built over his tomb became one of the seven principal churches in Rome and a favorite place for Roman pilgrimages.

A well-known legend has persisted from earliest times. As deacon in Rome, Lawrence was charged with the responsibility for the material goods of the Church, and the distribution of alms to the poor. When Lawrence knew he would be arrested like the pope, he sought out the poor, widows, and orphans of Rome and gave them all the money he had on hand, selling even the sacred vessels of the altar to increase the sum. When the prefect of Rome heard of this, he imagined that the Christians must have considerable treasure. He sent for Lawrence and said, "You Christians say we are cruel to you, but that is not what I have in mind. I am told that your priests offer in gold, that the sacred blood is received in silver cups, that you have golden candlesticks at your evening services. Now, your doctrine says you must render to Caesar what is his. Bring these treasures—the emperor needs them to maintain his forces. God does not cause money to be counted: He brought none of it into the world with him—only words. Give me the money, therefore, and be rich in words."

Lawrence replied that the Church was indeed rich. "I will show you a valuable part. But give me time to set everything in order and make an inventory." After three days he gathered a great number of blind, lame, maimed, leprous, orphaned, and widowed persons and put them in rows. When the prefect arrived, Lawrence simply said, "These are the treasure of the Church."

The prefect was so angry he told Lawrence that he would indeed have his wish to die—but it would be by inches. He had a great gridiron prepared with coals beneath it, and had Lawrence's body placed on it. After the martyr had suffered the pain for a long time, the legend concludes, he made his famous cheerful remark, "It is well done. Turn me over!"

Source: Franciscan Media