#Riverdale is so bad it's GENIUS

[rythmicjea]

Jeronica Endgame Analysis

I wrote this on Reddit and have been meaning to bring it over here. But commenting on @elizacinnamon's tumblr is what convinced me to do it. Buckle up because it's a long one!

Okay so, looking at all of the easter eggs in the episode, to me, it's heavily coded that Betty and Archie do end up together and that Jughead and Veronica end up together. The first thing that should be acknowledge is that everything in this episode is done with a purpose. They couldn't definitively say who Archie ended up with because Archie comics is predicated on the unanswered question of "Betty or Veronica?" so they had to make things "ambiguous" so people could come to their own conclusions.

When we hear of Veronica's life, Jughead says that she was known for her "impeccable taste" and "produced some of the most iconic movies of our time". So, right there, that's huge. That's a lot of heavy lifting. While he is complimentary and sensitive to everyone else's ending, the way he describes Veronica's life is just more. Take Fangs, he doesn't describe "Pixie Girl" as a "timeless" or "iconic" song. He just says that Midge and their daughter were taken care of and that his gold record will hang as long as there is a Riverdale High. He doesn't mention if Kevin or Clay won any awards for their work, but he says that Veronica won two Oscars. He goes out of his way to note the importance of Veronica's achievements.

The scene at The Babylonium is where I've found the most clues to their shared future. Jughead says "I always loved this theater". He doesn't say that about any of the other places they visit. Throughout the show, they regularly used characters to represent overarching themes. For example, Archie = Riverdale. I take Jughead's declaration to be a euphemism for Veronica. It's not that farfetched to believe that they fell in love while in high school. They were together for a year and a half before graduation. So, in the scene, he says "I always loved this theater. But it had a good run." At this time, in reality, both Veronica and Jughead have passed. Their run ended. He then lifts the seat and HIS CROWN is drawn under it! Why? This is a quick visual cue that he and Veronica are connected. If the Babylonium is a physical representation of Veronica (which is what the episode frames it as) then she essentially has a Jughead tattoo on her (a bit of a dramatic way of putting it lol). But, also this is not the first time something like that is in the show. In season 1 and 2, Betty wears a sweater with a yellow three pronged crown. It's universally recognized as Jughead's crown (she wears it on his birthday and in the Heather's musical episode). So, he makes his statement and BAM Veronica appears. Every time we see a character that isn't in the "relived day", it is a clip of them in the future. Veronica is the only character to essentially be an apparition. They didn't have to include her, but they did. And seeing as it's Narrator!Jughead (the real/angel Jughead is in the Pop's in the Sweet Hereafter, and the show literally ends with typewriter sounds) telling Betty all of this, Veronica's appearance can be taken as a clue that she is ever present in his mind/life.

When we see her in her office, she has four "The Comet" posters behind her. Hanging posters of the movies you made is very common. What isn't common is that one franchise has such a place of honor, so that means it's incredibly significant to her. Her clothing is in the style of the early 80s (the creators had an idea to bring everyone through time with each episode but it wasn't feasible so this is kind of a nod to that. Cheryl is seen in the late 60s, Betty in the 70s, and Veronica is the early 80s). We know that Jughead adapted The Comet into a comic book, and he was the one that introduced her to WEB DuBois' people. The artwork of the posters is the same as the comic he created. Making movies at that time was very time-consuming. Also, franchises like that were not common. The whole "Saga", "Trilogy", and "Universe" collections of today were not done to the same extent back then. So, not only was "The Comet" incredibly popular (because it got four movies) but it spanned over a large time frame (again, she still has the posters up decades after graduation via her clothing style), meaning that there was a consistent dialogue between Jughead and Veronica.

Outside of the Babylonium is a poster for "The Big Sleep" (It's also on the Marquis). This is a direct reference to the episode "The Red Dahlia" (3x14) where Veronica enlists Jughead's help. It is one of the main "Jeronica" episodes of the series. In that episode he says that he'll be her "Philip Marlowe". In The Big Sleep, Philip Marlowe is the main character played by Humphrey Bogart. In the same episode he says "Nice hat... Bacall." Lauren Bacall is the female lead of The Big Sleep. Bogart and Bacall were a huge draw for audiences. They were a power couple of their day (and they were also married... hint hint lol). They were the Bennifer and Brangelina first.

Now, moving onto Jughead. He doesn't talk much about himself. Everything that Betty says can literally be read on screen in his obituary. There are two main takeaways from this scene. The first is he barely talks about himself. When he does, he focuses on talking about his career and there's no mention of his personal life. This is a parallel to Veronica's description. He only describes her career and not her personal life. What is also a parallel is that in his summary of Veronica's life he says that she was known for "taking risks on young, raw talent" ie Jughead. Jughead tells Betty that he "put all of his eggs in one basket". That turn of phrase is to mean that you did the riskiest thing possible. When Betty asks if he ever regrets not getting circled he says 'sometimes'. It's a very ambiguous statement. BH shippers will say that he is talking about Betty. But his relationship with Betty ended in high school (both times) and were never rekindled later in life. It doesn't have to be that regrets not marrying Veronica, but it can be taken that way.

The second is on the artist easel in the Madhouse offices. There is a picture of Veronica. It is not a photograph it is the canonical comic book portrait of Veronica (Pep Comics IS Archie Comics). And it is smack dab in the middle of the easel. This is another parallel to Veronica's future. She has "The Comet" posters and he has her portrait. Remember, his first comic book line that he created was "Veronica: The Teenage Witch". So this is a clue that he has used Veronica's likeness IN his magazine for most, if not all of, the run. There's no picture of Betty or Archie. Why still have Veronica's portrait and use her likeness if they weren't still connected in real life?

Now we come to the final scene. So, throughout all of Riverdale (with a few exceptions) the milkshakes that the core four drink all correspond to their hair color. Betty = Vanilla, Archie = Strawberry, Jughead and Veronica = Chocolate (double chocolate to be specific - which can be extrapolated to represent them. It's a stretch but it can be made). In the final moments, we see that this formula has been flipped. When Betty sits in the booth, Archie is drinking a Vanilla milkshake and he hands Betty a strawberry one noting it's "her favorite". What are Jughead and Veronica drinking? Double chocolate milkshakes. If in the Barchie Endgame theory Strawberry being Betty's "favorite" is to mean "Archie" then we can apply that same logic to Jughead and Veronica. Then there is their seating arrangement. The girls on one side and the boys on the other. Betty is sitting directly in front of Archie and Veronica is sitting directly in front of Jughead. Again, because they had to keep the "Who will Archie choose?" answer ambiguous they use this blocking technique to show the pairings without the pair sitting right next to each other. (Couples either sit next to each other or across from one another.)

That is my analysis of the finale using clues to prove that Jughead and Veronica were "endgame". I hope you liked it! If you have any corroborating theories let me know!

[garbagequeer]

the thing about beautiful riverdale is that there are a couple of people in my life who seem to have learned the trick to see me turn into the happiest person on earth with the biggest smile under any circumstances which is asking me about riverdale

[best-tv-theme-song]

Polls will start to be posted within the next week or so.

Bracket list under the cut!

UPDATE: LIST CANCELLED

*Starred shows have multiple theme songs or I have combined shows in a franchise in an effort to include as much as possible. These will have preliminaries built-into their polls on the first round. This is how it works: 1. all of the songs will go into a poll together against one other show; 2. the COMBINED votes for those songs will determine which show wins that poll; 3. only the top voted song for that show/franchise will move on, if the show has won the poll. (If you are confused it will make more sense when we start, I promise!)

The 100

30 Rock

9-1-1*

The Addams Family

Adventure Time*

The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

All That

The Amazing World of Gumball

American Dragon: Jake Long

Animaniacs

Arcane: League of Legends

Arrested Development

Arthur

Assassination Classroom*

Austin & Ally

The Backyardigans

Barney & Friends

Barry

Batman*

Bear in the Big Blue House

Ben 10*

Better Call Saul

Beverly Hills, 90210

The Big Bang Theory

Big Time Rush

Bill Nye the Science Guy

Black Sails

Bluey

Bob the Builder

Bob's Burgers

BoJack Horseman

Bones

Boy Meets World

The Brady Bunch

Breaking Bad

Bridgerton

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Buffy the Vampire Slayer*

Captain Planet and the Planeteers

Charmed

Cheers

Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers

Choo Choo Soul

Code Lyoko

Codename: Kids Next Door

Cold Case

Community

Cory in the House

Cowboy Bebop

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend*

Criminal Minds

CSI*

Cyberchase

Danny Phantom

Daredevil

Dawson's Creek

Death Note*

Desperate Housewives

Detective Conan

Dexter

Dexter's Laboratory

Diff'rent Strokes

Digimon*

Doctor Who*

Dora the Explorer

Downton Abbey

Dragon Ball*

Dragon Tales

Drake & Josh

Ducktales*

ER

Ever After High

The Fairly OddParents

Firefly

The Flintstones

Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends

Fraggle Rock

Frasier

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Friends

Fringe

Full House

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood*

Futurama

Game of Thrones

George Lopez

George of the Jungle

Gilmore Girls

Glee

The Golden Girls

Good Omens

Gravity Falls

Grey's Anatomy

H2O: Just Add Water

Hannah Montana

Hannibal

Happy Days

Hawaii Five-0*

His Dark Materials

Horrible Histories

House, M.D.

How I Met Your Mother

How It's Made

Hunter × Hunter

Huntik: Secrets & Seekers

I Dream of Jeannie

I Love Lucy

iCarly

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

The Jeffersons

Jeopardy!

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure*

Jonas

Justice League

Kim Possible

The Last of Us

Laverne & Shirley

Law & Order*

LazyTown

The Legend of Vox Machina

Leverage

Lilo & Stitch: The Series

Little Einsteins

Lizzie McGuire

Looney Tunes & Merrie Melodies

The Love Boat

M*A*S*H

Mad Men

Madoka Magica*

The Magic School Bus

Malcolm in the Middle

The Mandalorian

The Mary Tyler Moore Show

Merlin

Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir

Mister Rogers' Neighborhood

Mob Psycho 100

The Monkees

Monster High

The Muppet Show

Murder, She Wrote

Murdoch Mysteries

My Babysitter's a Vampire

My Hero Academia*

My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic

The Nanny

Naruto*

NCIS

Neon Genesis Evangelion

The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

New Girl

NFL (various network themes)*

Ninjago

The O.C.

The Office

One Day at a Time*

One Piece

Only Murders in the Building

Orange Is the New Black

Ouran High School Host Club

The Owl House

Parks and Recreation

The Partridge Family

Phil of the Future

Phineas and Ferb

Pinky and the Brain

Pippi Longstocking

Pokémon*

Power Rangers

The Powerpuff Girls

Pretty Little Liars

The Price Is Right

The Proud Family

Psych

Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure

Reading Rainbow

Reba

Red Dwarf

Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Riverdale

Rugrats

Sabrina the Teenage Witch

Sagwa, the Chinese Siamese Cat

Sailor Moon

Sanford and Son

Saturday Night Live

Schitt's Creek

Scooby-Doo*

Scrubs

Seinfeld

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Sesame Street

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

Sherlock

The Simpsons

Smallville

Sofia the First

Sonny with a Chance

The Sopranos

Spider-Man

SpongeBob SquarePants

Star Trek (instrumental themes)*

Star Trek: Enterprise

Star vs. the Forces of Evil

Stargate*

Steven Universe

Stranger Things

Succession

The Suite Life of Zack and Cody*

Suits

Taskmaster

Ted Lasso

Teen Titans

Teen Wolf

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Teletubbies

That '70s Show

That's So Raven

Theory of Love

Thomas & Friends

Tokyo Ghoul

Total Drama

Totally Spies!

Transformers*

True Blood

The Twilight Zone

Twin Peaks

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

VeggieTales

Veronica Mars

Victorious

Voltron: Legendary Defender

W.I.T.C.H.

The Walking Dead

WandaVision*

Welcome Back, Kotter

The West Wing

Westworld

What We Do in the Shadows

The White Lotus

Wild Kratts

Winx Club

The Wire*

The Witcher

Wizards of Waverly Place

Wonder Pets!

Wonder Woman

Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!

The X-Files

Xena: Warrior Princess

Yellowjackets

Yu-Gi-Oh!*

Yuri on Ice

Zoboomafoo

Zoey 101

[thatiranianphantom]

Okay, yeah, I'm gonna say it.

Wild Cards. I mean, it's a CW show, so we expect little, but I think somehow, I still expected too much.

So anyway, thoughts be under the cut. Just my thoughts, to be fair. If you have different ones, that's cool.

(And my friend, if you click that cut, you know what you're getting into!)

It just feels like....they threw in a bunch of the most typical "case of the week" cliches that usually would work but just...don't?

The characters are flat as HELL. Every single character has 1 (1) personality trait. The only reason Max stands out at all is because the rest of them have the affect of a government office receptionist.

The stories are so instantly forgettable. Like I've watched all 6 currently out episodes to give it a fair chance and frequently forgot what was happening halfway through, because it was just so inconsequential.

IT. IS. SO. BORING. See above point, but at least in Riverdale, you were entertained, last three seasons aside. This show...it's the kind of thing you'd only keep on if you didn't have a remote in reach. The stories are so completely predictable that I feel like one of my preschoolers could map it out.

The case of the week format. Look, it is SO possible to do the case of the week stuff and get you invested in the story and the characters, even if they only appear for one episode. Think of Fish in Wynonna Earp. Chelsea Cole and her mom in Bones. So many examples and yet the stories in all six episodes were just - I don't understand why I am supposed to care about these randos?

The acting. God, it's so bad. I have seen Giacomo do good stuff on Grey's but here he's just as flat as everyone else, with a profoundly uninteresting character to boot. And Vanessa uses absolutely zero inflection in her tone and no facial expressions? The last episode where she was discussing her mother should have been an emotional scene but there was so little emotion in her voice? Compare it to ND where Nancy talks to Birdie about being something more than just a girl who survived a tragedy, and you can hear the emotion in her voice.

I am so confused by how they're presenting Max? They want us to think of her as a genius mastermind criminal who regularly scams people and also a benevolent innocent lil baby and how dare people suggest she may not be trustworthy? She isn't a cop, she's a criminal! This is the entire premise.

They are clearly using all the cliches - the Not Like Other Girls, the Wisecracking Group of Sidekicks, the Unconventional But Effective Methods, the Hidden Emotional Trauma, and of course, the Will They Won't They. But the thing is, there's so little character there, I don't care if they will or won't? Again, it feels like they are throwing in what should be all successful tropes, but they don't hit at all?

Also, before anyone says it, yes I realize they are only six episodes in. But tbh, in all the shows I like, by the 6th episode the plot and characters were quite well established. I don't think I can drag myself through another episode of this show.

[jerrydevine]

5 6 14 hehe 🫶

5. What is something you wish the show would have done better? ohhh the discussions of racism and classism were so poorly handled it makes me sad to this day.. riverdale was trying to be progressive on all fronts but the absurdism they leaned into in the later seasons (though don't get me wrong the handling of racism and classism has been bad since season 1) clashed so directly with how they tried to add serious social commentary into the storylines.... so many better ways they could have added that level of commentary into the show :( and now for a not so serious one. ADD HEATHER AND TABITHA TO EVERY EPISODE OF SEASON 7 COME ONNN GUYSSSS!!!!!!

6. Which musical episode is your favorite? now for you tee i will give you the next to normal episode.... the a plot of betty and alice grieving polly makes me cryyyy every single time i watch. and the b plot of tabitha and jughead getting together makes me cry in a different way bc those are literally my two best friends kissing and giggling and running away to kiss :')

14. Which AMV is your favorite? too hard! gonna give u 3 and i only made ONE of them hehe.

-- YOUR archie hiram vampire amv fuck yeahhhhh babyyyyy i love it so much genuinely tee you were a fucking genius here..

-- @archiesallamerican fern's the chain amv ohhhh i was giggling rewatching it for weekssss after it came out :)

-- ok and yeah one of mine.. hehe jabitha don't delete the kisses i love you forever and ever jabitha4life

[skenekidz]

Hey! Just saw this so sorry for the late response but wanted to respond. I am the “Unpopular Opinions” Person btw

OBVIOUSLY all the respect is meant. You are a genius <3 love your work, this is just some commentary

- Brennan IS a worse person than Killian because Killian really… doesn’t have THAT much agency in his life. Idk maybe I’m being too soft on him but I’ve always emphasized w/ children who make bad/objectively ambiguous decisions as the result of a turbulent life. Therefore, where Killian and Brennan made the SAME level of bad choices, Killian was genuinely a good person who was just trying to be a teenager/live his life in this “Fish out of Water” scenario he was put in. Brennan, meanwhile, came off like he had A LOT more agency and… strength, so to speak, not only in his own life but who he was in general. Therefore it’s a lot harder to excuse him for the stupid shit he puts himself in (like involving himself w/ the Principal’s son AND getting drawn into the bad/rebellious crowd, etc.). Therefore, Brennan is a worse person because generally those people (the reckless people who know they can make different, better choices and CHOOSE NOT TO), don’t tend to make the BEST decisions for their loved ones as well. Like I could see Brennan pulling some real dick behavior and causing shit for the people he cares for. Meanwhile, Killian? I highly doubt it. It’s the difference between “all bark but no bite” (Killian) and vice versa. One is just better.

- I agree on that! I’m just saying that IRL, the friends that stick will stick around. No amount of distance can TRULY crush any friendship. No doubt. Meanwhile… him relying on his friends as his family? Idk. There’s a difference between “My friends are my family” and “my friends can replace my family.” One is a MASSIVE cope and the other is just having close platonic/non-traditional family relationships. I still say Ireland would’ve given him time to grieve, properly, and become a more stable/stronger person. Just because something is harder to do doesn’t mean it’s the wrong choice.

- They are healthier!! You’re so right. And yeah, Staz and Ethan are similar but not the same people BUT… Will ALWAYS gave me the wrong vibes. I don’t vibe w/ hypocrites, and he is a MASSIVE one, considering him and Jude are EXTREMELY alike (Will just have the advantage of not having a horrible relationship w/ his Mother, otherwise I GUARANTEE he would’ve made similar if not the same choices). HOWEVER, the dynamics are EERILY similar. Two soft boys from subtly troubled homes change the perspective of two much more damaged, aggressive boys? Yeah, apologies if this wasn’t the correct read in the slightest, but both couples sort of gave me those vibes tbh. Although not ENTIRELY, clearly, as they are both complex enough to not be carbon copies (I realized this might’ve been insulting and so sorry if it is. I’m not trying to say that at all, they just follow the same TROPES.)

- You were an EXCELLENT writer (I mean your characters than were ten times more complex than mine are NOW), I just think the plot needed the characters to do what it needed them to do and there wasn’t a lot of time for diversions. Also, it really isn’t your fault if they were “a nightmare.” Hollywood/etc. LOVES the dysfunctional friendships. Just look at Riverdale! White Lotus (if you need a more updated example)! Gossip Girl! Literally any superhero movie. It’s just more fun for friends to sort of hate each others guts, unfortunately. ESPECIALLY in Young Adult media. Benji is still a bad friend to Ethan and Gideon tho… I will DIE on this hill (plus Sonnet and Ethan are the platonic soulmates we never got to see).

And that’s it! Thank you so much for your time!! I hope I never veered into disrespectful or rude while writing this. I feel like I did at multiple points so if I have, I am extremely sorry, clearly not my intention. I have a HUGE amount of respect to you and obviously, these are tour books, I just was curious to see if you would hate these tbh. All the love <3 Have a great day/evening!!!!

Cheers :)

This was super respectfully worded and I really appreciate the perspective! As the writer, it's sometimes hard for me to imagine how things can be interpreted differently than I intend, so I appreciate these kinds of honest perspectives. It gives me a lot to consider when writing in the future! Thanks for sharing! :)

[livvyofthelake]

going to reference something very niche and very You Had To Be There At The Time so like i'm aware that probably no one will know what i'm talking about but well. does anyone remember the first teaser for love simon, not the trailer, the halloween themed teaser. the trailer for that movie came out in like early november i remember i was there, there was a teaser they dropped in october for halloween and it was everyone at the halloween party scene asking each other "who are you supposed to be?" and then it was cleverly tied into the movie's concepts of identity and perception... anyway i think about this like, 30 second teaser like once a week although she is completely lost to me forever i fear. it was so cleverly done.... WHO are YOU supposed to be........ genius. i'm not gonna rewatch love simon i'm just thinking about it. we do not put enough respect on my buddy simon's name tbh. he gave you on of the best riverdale episodes ever... he paved the way for heartstopper... and yet you don't care about him.... my good close friend simon. from my book from when i was. well 15. i know it sounds like i'm always referring to things that had meaingful impact on my life as something from when i was 15 i know i sound like i'm making shit up i am not i swear.... i had a lot going on when i was 15. i feel kinda bad for not putting simon in the timeless video now. he barely connects to either kit or ty i would have only been including him as part of like, the canon of me being 15, i should have but well to be honest i just forgot. sorry simon. i love you. anyway. greg berlanti i'll never forgive you for what you did to my friend leah but well katherine langford i could never be mad at you babygirl it's not your fault... ok that's all

[camibarbz]

3. The O.C.

4 years later and I'm back. It's safe to say that I'm somewhat of an expert at this show. I rewatch it at least twice a year. Let me just say CINEMATIC ART. Josh Schwartz actually ate down with this one. Okay here's my little spoiler warning -> SPOILERS AHEAD

The first episode is probably one of the best pilot episodes I've ever seen. From the beginning we get angst, we get drama, we get humor. Ugh it's just SO SO GOOD. Like are you joking? I can't even comprehend my thoughts I love this show. "Who are you?" "Whoever you want me to be." LIKE ARE YOU KIDDING. The soundtrack was iconic. The fashion, iconic. Some of the most quotable things. It was the perfect amount of drama for a teen show without going over the top (sorry Riverdale) and it was just so funny.

Character Review:

Marissa Cooper wasn't the worst person in the world, she was just hella misunderstood with a wacky mom and family. She is the human embodiment of a cry for help. Her mother is as they say - Julie Cooper. Although she loves her daughter, she loves status more. Some of her ideas were great, they just lacked in execution. And I know Marissa could be a pain, but she just needed help and love. She should've gotten that psychiatric help. But alas, she stays to add fuel to the fire. What is a teen drama without drama. She is such a nuanced character and I will not stand for the slander (maybe some but like SHE'S NOT ALL BAD CMOONN) She definitely did not deserve to leave the way she did. #rip

Ryan Atwood, the ultimate broody bad boy who's really a softie at heart. Literally could not catch a break. Went to jail (bc his brother wanted to steal a car) His girlfriend shot his brother (and we got a hilarious SNL skit out of it), burned down a staging home (luke's fault but still), got a girl pregnant (allegedly) and then she miscarried (lies), fell in love with Marissa (#rip) always felt like he had to fix everything for everyone (his downfall) became a cage fighter (cuz Marissa #rip) got kicked out of school senior year (cuz of Marissa #rip) came back to school (yay!) (my timeline if fked). I know his need to fix everything for everyone came from having to lock in throughout his childhood, but alas (again) where would the show be without it. Marissa was his real true love, no matter how toxic it was. They were literally written for each other. And super unpopular opinion but his relationship with Taylor near the end was cute! It might've been just what he needed. He was funny unintendedly and I loved the ongoing lore that he couldn't lie to save his life. and he was hot. NEXT

Seth mfking Cohen. I think the thing that got me was that he was just hella charming. He was a little shit, but his charm and humor got him through the show without being absolutely insufferable. Like all characters, he has his flaws but his character was there to make sure we weren't dark and gloomy all the time. I truly hope that after the time jump, he actually became a real person and not just a funny spoiled brat who is now an adult and married the love of his life. Now that I think about it, he didn't ever really have a true character arc, but at least he was goofy and funny. He's a perfectly imperfect character who has a purpose and executes it flawlessly.

Summer Roberts, loml. My favorite character of the series. From season 1, she has an EXPONENTIAL character arc. She turns from certified mean girl to a certified baddie with a heart as big as the sun. She always ate down with her outfits, had insane one liners, and was the one girl to always LOCK INNN when they needed her. When she actually ended up being a genius, I was OBSESSED. I liked how they approached this storyline as opposed to how Glee did it with Brittany. NO NOTES!

My favorite episode of the whole show was the one where they got locked in the mall after sorting clothes for the clothing drive. I love love love when shows do something fun to balance out the dread and drama. Them rolling around with the hockey masks looking like Jason Voorhees from Friday the 13th was funny asf.

Rating: 9/10

minus 1 because (shockingly) i did not enjoy season 3. I didn't hate season 4 as much as everyone else, but the most insufferableness occurred during season 3 for me. Like Marissa's public school arc. Like Volchek (UGH) Like Johnny. #rip johnny but like BRUH CHILL OUT> However all the other points because of my favorite tv dad Sandy Cohen for saving the day (except when he cheated on his wife, that was so not cool sandy).

[what-does-the-moose-say]

1 and 8?

Oh thank you muchly

1) the character everyone gets wrong

Riley form Buffy. Season 4 Riley that is. S5 went off the rails with my boy 🫠. Since the Buffy/angel winter of 2018* barely a week goes by without me thinking about his "I am anarchist" *punching his previous boss* hotgirl moment. I always just liked him and was kinda shocked when I found out he was so hated. Well.

8) common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

Riverdale

That riverdale have bad writing when it is in fact comedy genius. It is not so bad it is good, it is just good. The have not made like 125ish episode that are funny on accident. Thats hard work folks.

Star Wars

I actully think that rise of skywalker is sort of better than the force awakens. Besides Finn and Rey everything feels so shallow. So much of it just feels like a set up, more of a pilot episode than anything else. Take away Finn, Rey and the nostalgia so little remains. It is easily the sw movie that feels most like a product to me rather than a story made by human beings. Atleast I feel TROS have ideas it want to explore. Does it make sense? I have enjoyed TFA fine in the past, like it is a fun movie and all but I do wonder if people still love it so much is because they miss the time where story could go anywhere. I do love Finn and Rey tho. So I say it one more time.

The Flash

The one about Barry and Iris that they dont have incest vibes? They most certainly do. Barry was 10 when he moved to the same house as Iris. Sorry if this is a little left field but I was thinking about it because the flash popped up on Netflix the other day. People will so violently defend it it is so funny to me.

*watched the 254 that is Buffy and Angel in two months. Thereby forever know as Buffy/Angel Winter of 2018. It had.... Lasting effects to say the least.

[cyberdisadvantage]

the next thing riverdale will do is incorporate fleabag style 4th wall breaks. I've never seen a single episode of either show but im sure it's going to happen like veronica or whoever the fuck will turn to the camera mid conversation, make a bad joke, turn back and keep talking

[sweetpeawriter-tm]

I love how people are calling riverdale bad writing like no this is prime time trash tv I think they know a LITTLE about writing

[peppermintsparker]

and with all the ways, i think i'll tell you forever [ e.munson ]

summary -- the five times eddie tells the reader he loves them, and the one time he actually says it warnings -- fluff, maybe a little bit of angst?, explicit language, r has a bad mental health week, talks of not eating properly authors note -- brownie points to whomever spots the riverdale references. also, the KISS record mentioned throughout this fic is indeed i was made for loving you baby. this is briefly edited and is like 5.3k words enjoy

Despite the rest of your friends having learnt about the crush you harboured towards Eddie Munson six months ago, you still hadn’t really spoken much about it. Hell, you hadn’t even confessed your feelings to your friend group so it was beyond you how they discovered it. No matter how often Robin, a friend you’re not exactly close with, but you’re close enough to talk to about girly stuff, has explained that Eddie loved you too because ‘have you seen the way he actually looks at you?’, you’re still on the fence about it.

So, one way or another, you’re determined to get the truth out of him. Only, it’s not going to be as easy as you initially believed.

1.

Absentmindedly tapping a rhythm on the Family Video counter, you counted the hours until your shift was over. Robin had practically begged you to take her closing shift, waffling on about a movie night Vickie had sequestered her for, and you were beginning to regret saying yes. Steve had left half an hour ago, citing that he was already staying behind an extra hour, so now it was just you. It’s not as if anyone else could come and hang out either, it was a Hellfire night so Eddie was too busy.

There’s a record player tucked away behind the counter, records haphazardly stuffed into the cupboard too, so it’ll have to be enough entertainment until your shift is over. There’s a KISS one in there you’ve listened to a thousand times, a bunch of them once or twice, but you know what you’re in the mood for tonight.

Eddie walks through the door as the record starts playing for the third time, and there's a gleeful look on his face so you know the end of the campaign has gone well. Dungeons and Dragons is never a big topic of conversation, not that he ever minds. You’ve played it before, but not often, so your comprehension of it isn’t the best. “You’re looking at an amazing genius of a Dungeon Master.” Eddie gloats, a flair for dramatics that you love so dearly.

You beam beatifically at him, moving from behind the counter to hug him quickly. “This mean you can hang out with me until my shift ends before driving me home?” You ask, already knowing the answer. Eddie’s confused at the lack of Steve and Robin, he knows you don’t often work a shift without one or both of them. “Covering Robin’s shift because Vickie sequestered her for a movie night. Steve couldn’t stay, ‘cause he already stayed over an hour past the end of his shift. Just little ol’ me on the close.”

“Hence the KISS?” Eddie questions, and you nod in confirmation. KISS isn’t the heaviest thing you’ve listened to, you’ve acquired Eddie’s particular music taste over the years the two of you had been friends, but you both know neither Steve or Robin is particularly keen. Eddie doesn’t even realise the questions you’ve asked, until the two of you have moved behind the counter and you’ve jumped up on it to stare at him expectantly. “You never have to ask for me to hang out with you, or drive you home.”

You know this, you truly do, though it always feels nice to hear him confirm this. You’re pretty sure Eddie would go to the ends of the Earth if you’d asked him too, but Eddie knows he would bring you the Universe twice over for even just a tiny hint of a smile. You don’t say anything in response, just hum along to the record playing and ignoring the way Eddie tears open a pack of Red Vines. “I hope you’re going to pay for them.” You deadpan, trying to be serious with him. It’s only Family Video, so you don’t entirely care if they’re losing profit on some ridiculously cheap candy, but Eddie’s easy to mess with sometimes.

Eddie looks mildly panicked, balancing a Red Vine in between his lips, much like he does with a blunt, before digging through his pockets in a desperate attempt to come up with some loose change to cover the price of them. It’s never his intention to get you into trouble at work, and he’s beginning to feel guilty that he just took them. “Shit, let me run out to the van real quick, I might have some gas money in there.”

Feelings of guilt begin to stab at your heart. You know how much the Munson’s struggle for money, Wayne’s pitiful wage coming from working nights is barely enough to pay the bills and keep enough food in the trailer to feed the two of them. “I was kidding!” You exclaim, voice so loud you’re practically yelling. “It’s just 75 cents, I really don’t care that much and I hardly think they’ll know they’re gone.”

Eddie’s expression turns unreadable, and if you hadn’t known him for ten or so years, you’d assume he was angry. But he’s not angry, he never is. You’ve always been too kind, flounced through life with a pocketful of sunshine you practically sprinkle onto everybody you meet. And it’s impossible for him to feel anything but adoration when it comes to you. But, “that was cruel. It's so cruel to toy with me like that.”

Your smile is euphoric, and Eddie knows that he’s in trouble. “You’d really sacrifice your gas money just so I wouldn’t get in trouble with the boss?” Your voice goes all quiet when you ask, and Eddie’s sure that if he hadn’t been standing so close to you, he wouldn’t have heard you ask at all. And he thinks it breaks his heart just a little bit, to know you question how much you’re worth to him.

“Every time we only have one slice of pizza left, and we decide to cut it in half, I always make sure I cut it unevenly and give you the bigger slice.” Eddie confesses, and a warmth spreads itself from the tips of your fingers inwards. “I would give it all up for you in a heartbeat, Y/n. You’re my best friend, my girl. And money isn’t half as important to me as you are.”

And even though it feels like the world has come to a standstill, the music continues playing and the world goes on. But still, you wonder if Eddie means for you to take it as it was: a confession of love.

2.

Various flashcards and textbooks surrounded you as you sat cross legged on your bedroom floor. It was the midst of finals season, and you were beginning to feel the crushing pressure of wanting to do well. It wasn’t as though you were a straight A student with a 4.0 GPA and Valedictorian status at graduation at stake, owing to your tendency to sail through school with an apparent devil-may-care attitude (how you scraped by with C’s was beyond you, truly) but rather it was a case of you wanting to exceed peoples expectations of you.

The KISS record you had playing made it practically impossible for you to hear any outside sounds, which worked perfectly when your brother had his irritating jock friends over. It’s not as though they’d bother you any time soon, Jason Carver was just too popular to ignore and they knew it. Their world consisted of parties and basketball, whilst yours consisted of the arcade and studying and music. You didn’t fit into their world, they didn’t fit into yours and it was better for everyone.

Suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling you were being watched, you drew your attention away from the textbook to look out the window, only to see Eddie staring back at you with a smile on his face. The grin on yours is nearly identical, and you don’t even bother with being mindful of your school stuff as you jump up to let him through. He waits for you to unlatch the window before sliding it open with a, “hey there, Juliet. Nurse off duty?”

Standing aside to let Eddie climb through, you can’t help but feel enamoured at his actions. You had told him that morning that you were going to be studying all day, so you might not be able to find enough time to hang out with him, so you really weren’t expecting to find him climbing through your window at 6pm. “What are you doing here, Eds?” You find yourself questioning his actions, ignoring his invitation of a hug in favour of finding out his intentions.

“I missed you, that’s all.” Eddie shrugs, pretending he doesn’t find the question ridiculous. He knows he’ll never tell you, but every second the two of you are apart he misses you. You’re his best friend, only he knows he loves you more than a best friend probably should. Eddie Munson loves you so much it physically pains him to know you might not love him the same.

When he offers up a hug, you don’t decline this time. In fact, it takes everything in you to not confess your love this second. If your entire friendship, plus the complete humiliation of having to face your annoying brother afterwards, wasn’t at stake, you’d confess in a heartbeat. Instead, you let yourself be squeezed in an infamous Eddie Munson hug, the type he reserves just for you, and offer up an, “I missed you too. Silly boy.”

The hug doesn’t last as long as you wish it would, and Eddie’s all too quick to let you go back to your studying whilst he lays on his stomach next to you, not completely understanding what you’re studying but he asks questions anyway, insistent on helping you to study. And though he’s missed it before, Eddie’s eyes widen at the lack of snacking evident.

“Have you eaten yet today?”

A beat of silence before,

“Alright. Come on then, sunshine.” Eddie stands up before helping you up, abandoning your textbooks in favour of turning the record off before all but dragging you down the stairs and out of the house. “Taking you to Benny’s and treating you. Can’t let my best girl starve.”

And oh, you think to yourself, if you weren’t sure before, you most certainly are now. He’s your best friend, only you love him more than a best friend probably should. You love Eddie Munson so much it physically pains you to know he might not love you the same.

Although, you think he might do.

3.

“Stupid idiot with his stupid basketball practice.” You grumble to yourself as you trudge down the pathway leading away from school. A gust of wind blows through you, and you tug your lilac cardigan closer to yourself in defence. It’s not as if it will help matters at all, because not even thirty seconds later the sky opens up and it pours with rain. “Stupid fucking idiot and his stupid basketball practices leaving me to walk home alone.”

Jason Carver is an absolute fool, you think to yourself, growing more frustrated with the situation at hand. You’re almost positive that he had told your parents that morning there was no scheduled practice today which meant that he’d be able to drive the two of you home. Realistically, it wasn’t his fault if the basketball practice had been unexpectedly thrust onto the team; it was safer, however, to presume that Jason was just being an asshole about having to drive you home.

A car speeds past you awfully fast, splashing dirty puddle water all over your outfit and it’s just bad enough to make you cry. And you feel silly for it, you truly do, but now you’re stuck walking home in a soaking wet outfit with the rain only making it ten times worse. It had truly been a terrible day: you’d forgotten your lunch money at home, you’d failed a pop quiz and now you were about to get sick.

Bending down to tie your shoelace up, you don’t notice the van pull up beside you, only notice the sudden lack of downpour. “Hey, sweetheart,” Eddie’s voice is soft and you wonder if he knows how much of a bad day you’re being subjected to. The shoelaces are forgotten about as you straighten yourself up to hug the boy in front of you, incredibly grateful to see your best friend. “Come on, jump in the van. I’ll drive you back to the trailer with me, get you changed out of these sopping wet clothes and into a hot shower. Think I’ve got some pyjamas you can wear too. Sounds good?”

You mumble out a tearful yes as you follow him into the van, and it breaks Eddie’s heart to hear you so downtrodden. The van ride to the trailer is silent, save for Eddie’s humming of a song all too familiar to you. It’s a KISS record you play practically all the time, and you wonder if it’s become yours and Eddie’s song at this point. It’s still raining when the two of you pull up outside the trailer, and Eddie jumps out of the van before you climb out. He’s insistent on sheltering you underneath his jacket, not even caring about the rain himself.

Having visited the trailer enough times where it’s become your second home, you feel comfortable enough helping Eddie dig out some clean and dry pyjamas for yourself before taking them into the bathroom to shower. The hot water is relaxing, and you’d spend all day in the shower if it weren’t for the expensive water bill and the worry of using up the precious hot water. Dressed in a slightly too big spare Hellfire club t-shirt and a pair of navy blue pyjama pants, you head into the living area.

“Feel better?” Eddie asks from where he’s sprawled across the couch, notebook and pen next to him whilst he strums an unfamiliar tune. He’s songwriting, you realise, and you feel warmth spreading through your bones at getting to be with him during something so intimate. When you don’t answer, Eddie speaks again, “mac and cheese will be ready soon if you’re hungry. Dunno when the rain will stop, but you’re more than welcome to spend the night.”

“Thanks,” you smile, ignoring the butterflies. Eddie’s kindness is of no surprise to you, not really, he’s been kind ever since the two of you first became friends. When he discovered Jason Carver was your idiotic brother, you worried he’d stop being friends with you. Jason had made a name for himself, and it was frighteningly obvious that he absolutely detested Eddie Munson. But the friendship only strengthened, and you supposed that was the end of the popularity Jason had promised if you quit hanging around with the so-called freak of Hawkins. “You didn’t have to stop for me though, I would've been just fine walking home alone.”

“It’s raining outside, sweetheart.” Eddie says it as though he has to remind you, and you both know he doesn’t. Because you’re all too aware of the rain pouring down outside. And, he doesn’t want to ask, not really, but there’s a niggling feeling inside of you screaming that he’s going to ask. Because, it’s Eddie Munson, and when he’s worried he’ll go to the ends of the Earth to find out what he can do to help. “Why were you walking home? I thought your brother was driving you, and said that you didn’t need to wait around for me today.”

“Jason’s at practice,” you explain with a shrug. Eddie doesn’t say anything, just puts his guitar down and moves off the couch to stir the mac and cheese on the cooker. At least, you assumed Jason was at basketball practice. Ever since the two of you were children, he had an awful tendency to spin a web of lies; one so tightly woven together it was impossible to unravel. “Least, that’s the excuse he’ll use with mom and dad. But I don’t care if he’s lying, ‘cause I get to spend more time with you.”

There’s a lull in conversation as Eddie dishes up the pasta dish and the two of you take your seat at opposite sides of the table. You stretch your leg until it’s entwined with Eddie’s and you’re both playing a game of footsie as you eat. And it’s nice, you think to yourself, to be sharing such a tender moment of domesticity with the person you love the most.

You just wish that you could freeze this moment and live in it forever.

4.

You don’t know why you’re not feeling so good at this current moment in time, but you’re definitely not having a good time. Whatever it is, it’s left you bedridden and you’ve skipped school for the past week and a half. There’s an annoyance you can hear in your mom’s voice when she comes to check up on you in the mornings, but you’re not sure you care much about it. Caring about things seems too hard, at least that’s what you think anyway.

Jason obviously doesn’t care, he’s practically avoided you like you’ve got the plague. The thought of that makes you laugh bitterly, maybe you have got the plague and you’ll die a gruesome death. But that can’t be right, you’re not displaying any physical symptoms of the plague. Headache and stomach ache aside, physically you’re perfectly healthy.

“Hey, sunshine,” Eddie’s voice is a soft whisper as he tiptoes through your doorway. He’s taken his shoes and jackets off by the front door, and it’s strange to see him without his armour. Then again, it’s strange to see him come in through the door; normally he sneaks through your window late at night. “Your mom let me in, said you’re not feeling too good. You’ve missed a lot of school, figured I should bring you the stuff you’ve missed so you can catch up when you’re feeling up to it. Teachers have said no pressure, but I know how important school is to you.”

You don’t have to say thank you to Eddie, you know he’d do anything for you if you just said the word. And, it makes you feel guilty when you think about all the times he’s spontaneously cancelled Hellfire club meetings just because you’ve needed him. Eddie knows you struggle with shyness, or the expectations people have for you. And, you’ve got friends. You hang out with Steve and Robin from time to time; but Eddie knows that he’s probably the only person you would actually consider a best friend.

Tears which had been previously clinging to your lash line dribble down your cheeks, and you can’t help but feel silly for crying.”I’m sorry,” you sniffle, scrubbing the tears away as though they’re supposed to be a secret. It’s not as though Eddie hasn’t seen you cry before; he’s seen you cry lots of times, from sad movies to cute animal movies that have a happy ending. He’s pretty sure you sobbed at Top Gun, no matter how much you deny it. “You’re just so lovely, and I really don’t feel well.”

You’re overwhelmed, Eddie decides, and thinks it’s best if the school work is placed on the back burner for now. He knows you’ll start it when you feel ready to, even if it takes all weekend. There’s a pair of his pyjama pants on top of your dresser, left there from the last sleepover, and Eddie’s quick to snatch them up and slip into your bathroom to change into them. He leaves his rings and chain on the counter, they’re safe there, before stepping back into the bedroom with the intent of cuddling you.

You’re quiet as he climbs into the bed, but you know that you don’t have to say anything to Eddie. “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours, hmm?” His voice is reduced to a soft whisper, hiding the two of you under the covers. Eddie wants nothing more to protect you from the world completely, but you’re brave and he knows you can do anything. Sometimes he worries though, wondering if you believe you’re as safe with him as he hopes you believe, “you can talk to me. You know this, Y/n. Nothing you say will leave these blankets if you don’t want it to.”

You force him into a pinky promise before you spill everything, from the little things like the old lady you’d seen eating alone at Benny’s and how you’re afraid that’ll be you in sixty years time, all the way to more hard hitting stuff like wondering if you’re as good enough as people will have you believe. “Nobody has ever been deliberately unkind,” you reassure him, even if you’re not sure you believe it. “But everyone expects me to be so much more because of Jason and I feel like I’m just being buried alive under the weight of it all. And, I feel so silly for being so hurt because people aren’t meaning to hurt me, you know?”

Eddie has no idea that you’ve been feeling this way, and it hurts to know you’ve been feeling this way alone. “Just because nobody has ever been deliberately unkind,” he starts, trying to choose his words carefully so as to not cause you any more upset. “It doesn’t mean that you don’t get the right to feel hurt. No matter what people expect of you, just know that you are enough exactly the way you are. You’re my best friend, my favourite girl, and you’ve stood by my side when it mattered the most so you best believe I’m gonna do the same for you, sweetheart. And when the time comes, we’re gonna run from this town together.”

“Just me and you?”

Eddie smiles, the soft boyish grin he reserves just for you. The same smile that resulted in you spilling your Slurpee down your front when you had first met him, “me and you forever, sweetheart.”

5.

Birthdays in the Carver household typically go one of two ways: a big celebration, or a small gathering. Whilst Jason preferred the big celebration, something that was so typically and annoyingly him, you preferred to have a smaller celebration. It’s a preference that stemmed from your eighth birthday party, nobody had turned up and you’d cried for hours. You’d told Eddie this on your sixteenth birthday, and he vowed to never let you celebrate a birthday alone.

Whilst Jason had a big party for his eighteenth birthday, you insisted on a much smaller party. Alcohol had been scarce, only a few beers that Eddie had persuaded his Uncle Wayne to buy, but it didn’t matter to you. You would have all your friends there, and that’s what mattered most to you. You weren’t like Jason, didn’t need to rely on drinking to be able to tolerate the friends you’d made throughout school.

“Happy birthday!” Steve cheered as he walked through your bedroom door, shoes and jacket abandoned by the front door as per your mom’s instructions. Robin follows, echoing a similar sentiment with a gift bag in one hand and holding an unfamiliar girl's hand. Steve must sense the confusion, and already knows who she is, “this is Vickie, Robin’s not girlfriend-girlfriend.”

You nod, although you can’t help but feel envy that Steve got to meet the infamous Vickie before you had. Though, you’re not sure you can blame them entirely because if you’re not working, you’re normally stuck like glue to Eddie’s side. Still, you plaster on a saccharine sweet smile and greet the girl anyway, wanting to make a good first impression on someone important to one of your friends.

Eddie, though not able to see your face, can tell you’re tense about something so he cracks open some beers, lounging across the bed with a loose smile. You can’t help but wish you hadn’t invited Steve or Robin to the party, much less offering up a plus one. It’s not as though you hate being around people, because Steve and Robin have quickly become your close friends even if you don’t know them as well as you know Eddie, but you’d much rather your birthday just be a you and Eddie type of deal.

You think they can sense your overall discomfort, so they stay for two hours; just long enough to eat plenty of snacks and watch a movie you’d already picked out. They leave on your promise to call them to thank them once you’ve opened their gifts, and then it’s just you and Eddie once again. And it’s nice, you think, to spend your birthday with Eddie Munson. The boy who’s been a part of you for longer than you can remember.

Eddie’s shy as he hands you his gift, it’s sloppily wrapped in yesterday’s newspaper, with your name hastily scribbled on top but it’s perfect, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. “I had to beg Benny to give me yesterday’s paper. I didn’t have any actual wrapping paper,” he explains, anxiously rubbing at his nape. You’re careful as you open it, a cassette falling out of the wrapping. “I’ve been curating the tracklist for a while now, just a bunch of songs that remind me of you.”

You’re quiet as you load it into your Walkman, music blaring through your headphones and when the first song plays, Eddie wishes he had a camera so that he could capture the smile that splits your face in two. It’s the KISS song that you play 24/7, and it warms your heart to know that Eddie thinks of you whenever you hear it. “Lay down with me.” You beg Eddie, taking off the headphones, and he does. It’s awkward sharing the headphones, but you make it work.

You’ve spent birthdays in lots of ways over the years, but none of them will come quite as close to perfection as this moment.

+1

It’s been a week since you last saw Eddie, and you can’t blame him. He’s been busy with his job at the Hideout and you’ve been waitressing for Benny from time to time to get some extra cash in between shifts at Family Video. Graduation was last month, and whilst you’ve been trying to spend every waking moment together, you know you both need to earn some cash if you want to run away together. 

You just didn’t bank on how hard it would be to miss Eddie so much. Though, maybe you think you miss him so much because you love him so much it hurts sometimes.

Saturday rolls around quickly though, and you’re dressed in your prettiest summer dress as you walk up to the trailer. “Hey you,” Eddie grins lazily from his spot on the porch, his guitar in one hand and a cigarette in between his lips. It’s not as though Wayne cares about Eddie smoking inside or not, doesn’t care about if he plays guitar inside or not, but it’s a hot day today and you wonder if it’s cooler outside than it is in the trailer. “Wouldn’t go in there if I were you, sweetness, it’s hot as balls in there.”

Shrugging, you perch on the floor in front of him, resting a cheek on his knee, content to just exist in this moment forever. “Missed you this past week,” you confess, voice just above a quiet whisper and if it weren’t for the fact Eddie had stopped playing guitar, you know he wouldn’t have heard. “Mom kept asking if we’ve fallen out. I just said we’ve been busy working.”

Eddie hums, stubbing out his finished cigarette in the ashtray beside him before carding calloused fingers through your hair. It’s a nice type of domesticity that you want to exist in forever, just freeze time and never unpause it. “Missed you too,” Eddie’s voice is an equal whisper, as though he’s too afraid of disturbing the stillness. “I always miss you when you’re not around.”

You think you should tell him, so you do. “I love you.” A whisper against his knee, quiet, matching the tenderness of the moment. And, you know you’ll regret it, but you know life is too short for regrets so you feel compelled to look up at him this time, “I love you, Eddie Munson. I love you so much that it hurts sometimes. Because, I look at you, and you’re a boy I don’t think will ever be mine.”

Eddie’s left lost for words. In all the time he’s loved you silently, he never imagined that you’d love him back just as much. And, he wants to say it back but he knows that he can’t. You were born and raised in a silver spoon community, a world where you simply had to ask for something and you’d get it without worrying about the financial aspect. Eddie knows that’s not a life he can offer you, “I can’t, baby. We can’t.”

You think your heart has shattered into a thousand tiny pieces at his words, and you’re close to begging for him to take them back. And you want to run as far as you possibly can, but you think you’ve been glued to the porch and Eddie’s gentle hands still carding through your hair are practically trapping you there. “Don’t say that,” you beg instead, willing him to take his words back. “Please don’t.”

Tears are leaving shiny tracks on your cheeks, and Eddie can feel himself melting until he has no choice but to explain. “I can’t love you baby, but I do. I love you so much,” you both ignore the tears spilling out of Eddie’s brown eyes as he talks. It feels like the kinder thing to do at this moment. “I’m from the wrong side of the tracks, sweet girl. You’re from a world where money was never a struggle. And the life you were born into isn’t a life I won’t ever be able to give you. I love you baby, so much. Please believe me. But the kindest thing for you is for me to let you go. Let you find someone who can give you the type of love and life I can’t give you.”

You move so quickly that Eddie worries that he’s taken some of your hair out, but when his fingers prove empty and hair free, he worries a little bit less. But you’re angry, and heartbroken, “I have never wanted that life!” You know you can’t yell, lest you cause a scene and embarrass the two of you. “I don’t care about money. I don’t care about living a life of rich luxuries. I just want you Eddie, a life with you is the only life I want. Even if that means living in trailers and eating Kraft mac n cheese and television dinners instead of fancy meals at expensive restaurants.”

You’re sobbing now, knees digging into the rough wood of the porch as you cry so hard Eddie’s worried you’ll cry yourself sick. But as quick as it starts, it stops as though you’ve wondered where you are. “I’ve spent so long trying to be everything my brother isn’t in the hopes that you’ll love me the same way I love you. Because I don’t want to spend my life loving someone who won’t ever be mine. Please Eddie. Please just-”

Eddie cuts you off, pressing his hands to your cheeks without a single worry in the world for how damp and sticky they may be. “I don’t want to spend my life loving someone who won’t ever be mine either,” his voice is a quiet whisper, and his words a balm to your heartbreak. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

The two of you pack up the van with your belongings at the end of summer, moving two states over. And even though Eddie can’t give you a life of luxuries, he can give you a life where he’s yours and you’re his.

And when you elope two months later, with the same KISS record playing in the background, you know that this is a life you want forever.

[thetaoofbetty]

Do you truly think Bughead stands a chance at getting endgame? I’ve tried to hold out hope these last two seasons. I thought once upon a time that eventually the payoff would be worth it, but the nonsense just goes on and on. I feel like BH’s get kicked in the teeth every episode and are punished for their years of devotion. And it’s not even like BA and JT are written well or have anywhere near the level of BH’s chemistry, but sometimes it feels like we’re stuck with them because RAS has disdain for his audience and is fixated on the “new” above honoring these characters and giving the show the ending it deserves. I’m sorry for being so negative. I just feel so stupid for continuing to invest anything in this show. I don’t want to discover a year from now that my time has been wasted and that the show is still trying to convince us that Betty and Jughead belong with other people and can’t even be assed to let them discuss anything not plot point related.

i've been avoiding these asks for a while because i don't want to come off like i'm telling anyone how to feel but since i keep getting asked i guess i'll try and give my honest opinion but hopefully without offending or upsetting anyone (jinxed by even saying it, i know).

bughead is not the first ship to get kicked in the teeth. they're not even the first ship to break up and have the writers ignore the fact that they dated for a good portion of time. they are not the first ship to date other people and totally act like they never dated until it's time to ramp up any drama. they are not the first ship to date, break up, date others, and then tell that new person that they love them.

and every ship i am thinking of for the above? they ended up together in the end. so yeah, i think it's possible. stories aren't told in a vacuum and shows that go on for 22 episodes or more need to drag out their narratives. these are not 8 episode netflix or hbo max shows that have limited time for their stories, they are filling a lot more air time. they have and will drag things out if they're trying to get to a certain point. yes, riverdale does this worse than others. 100%. 1000% even.

maybe it's a product of us all bingeing and watching shows with 8-10 eps a season but recently i was rewatching gilmore girls with my exchange student and i legit kept leaving the room because i felt like it was dragging on even tho i watched it when it was on week to week and was invested. there were a lot of episodes that just felt like they did nothing past fill some time. which is probably what they were doing when you need to make 22 of them in a season.

and listen, i'm not the biggest fan of anyone writing this show overall (how no one seems to know what anyone else is doing is just such a bad way to write?) but i don't think roberto actually has a disdain for the audience. ted? sure. we don't appreciate his genius and therefore suck. his arrogance is well known. evan? he wants attention. he got it. it was a dumb move. raise your hand if you're a bughead fic author who has written more interaction between betty and archie in your fics than this man (their king!) has written onscreen.

this show is badly run, written, and promoted. that's pretty obvious at this point. not a lot of people are watching, not a lot of people care anymore and i totally get why. i'm not going to tell you to continue being invested in something making you unhappy, your fictional escapes should bring you joy so taking a break when needed is always a good idea.

personally, if they're going to drag out this whole timelines mess, i don't think everything that happened will be ignored, it's just a continuation—and i'm not going to assume anything about the 50s thing, we don't even know how long it's going to last or what will happen within it. but we haven't even seen the finale yet and at the end of the day, i feel like they didn't have tabitha tell veronica it was 50/50 for the fun of it. but that's me and i think everyone should do what works for them when it comes to this show and fandom.

[desertsongpdf]

VIDEO ESSAYS PT 3.1 (PT 3.2 / PT 2 / PT 1) 

A Monstress Comes of Age: Horror & Girlhood Jennifer's Body & the Horror of Bad Marketing The Redemption of JENNIFER'S BODY

Tracing the Roots of Pop Culture Transphobia Society and Queer Horror Monsters in the Closet - A History of LGBT Representation in Horror Cinema Evil Queens: A Queer Look at Disney History

Beyond Nonbinary Everyone is Attracted to Nonbinary People Bisexual is Pansexual is Bisexual The Bi-Cycle (and Why It's So Confusing) The Problem With Queerbaiting

Boys Don't Cry (Except When They Do) What Even Is Masculinity? (According to Cinema) Predatory Romance in Harrison Ford Movies The Men Who Couldn't Stop Crying, and Other Unbearable Realities

Lord Of The Rings: How Music Elevates Story Why the Soundtrack to Shrek is Actually Genius The Impact of Diary of a Wimpy Kid Charlie's Angels — How Gender Obsession Can Ruin a Film Why Megamind is a Subversive Masterpiece Taika Waititi: Mastering Happy Sad Cinema AMERICAN PSYCHO: How a box office failure became the most important film of a generation Design Crit: Business cards from American Psycho Shiva Baby, sugar babies & the paradox of sexual liberation The Dumbest Way To Fight A War | The Tomorrow War How Aladdin Changed Animation (by Screwing Over Robin Williams) In The Moment: A 1917 Video Essay Chernobyl - A Masterclass in Perspective Who Framed Roger Rabbit - The 3 Rules of Living Animation Eighth Grade: how Bo Burnham captures the tween experience Tenet - A Misunderstood Masterpiece Disney's Robin Hood and the Death of Color Why Luca Is Better Than You Think Mainstream: Andrew Garfield’s Beautiful Mess of a Film The Problem With Tarzan Passengers, Rearranged The Art of Editing and Suicide Squad The Art of Storytelling and The Book of Henry Pirates of the Caribbean - Accidentally Genius A Lukewarm Defence of Fifty Shades of Grey Riverdale: The Biggest Anomaly in TV History Se7en — Why Less Is More School of Rock's Perfect Scene

[khodorkovskaya]

maybe this is a scooby-doo “it was a shitty show all along” moment, but im so disappointed in euphoria!

like okay, maybe this was just my interpretation/projection, but i felt like the first season was aimed at young adults who can now look back at their teen years and reflect on how fucked up they were. it was a brilliant analysis of what being a teen is like nowadays. they criticised pornography and showed how it creates unrealistic expectations (mckey/cassie), they showed a troubled girl whose only understanding of love comes from bad media tropes (kat), they explored how sexualised everything is nowadays and showed how it affects teen girls’ relationship to their sexuality (kat, jules). and, the main theme of the show, they criticised american pharma and how it leads to drug addiction, which is so common amongst today’s teens. i watched that show and saw 17 year old me in so many of the characters. 

and season 2 was just some riverdale-esque teen drama about a self-proclaimed genius who wrote a play to slut shame her sister, and im supposed to feel sorry for her? 😬 and don’t even get me started on the cringy dialogue and fake-deep cinematography that looks like it was shot by an angsty first year film student.

[bettyminicoop]

Ahahahahahpha

I don't know if I should cry, be angry or laugh. Our worst fears were confirmed and at the same time not confirmed. Couple we thought was a real threat to the Bughead is worth NOTHING! I'm surprised Cole Sprouse has zero chemistry with anyone other than Lili. The kisses between Tabitha and Jughead look like two people came to work in the morning, and they were told: "Today you are kissing like idiots in love" (that most likely it was, according to RAS Insta). BAs who claim this is the best kiss on the show - well dudes, you have disgusting taste 🤷🏾‍♀️

They had to rewrite songs! Ahahahaha, I can't. It's fucking funny and sad.

Oh god, RAS why did you give such a shit about your viewers? How did we deserve this trash? This lazy idiotic script, this bad acting (because the actors don't understand their characters), this garbage hasty filming. Come on, you filmed the fifth season for a year and a half! Your actors were literally in captivity in Vancouver, you could have filmed three seasons in advance!

And yet, we got THIS. THIS SEASON. I believe that no one suddenly rewrote the plot of the musical, this is how it was supposed to be, and this is the worst part. Because that's how they think they are genius. And as soon as the information about season 6 special came out, they urgently crumpled up all their plots and put them in the last two episodes. They didn't change anything, but they cut it three times. Because RAS doesn't care about his viewers and his characters.

The characters are ridiculous! They behave as not normally to their characteristics, and it's not even about the ships. Jughead is a wreck that eats up the leftovers from the visitors and dresses like fuck! Archie wants children with Veronica, but in the next episode he will already be kissing Betty. Like what? Veronica and Reggie? Tony and Fangs? Ahahahahahahaha. Riverdale is the AU and OOC of himself!

I thought there would be nothing worse than a key party. Well, RAS knows how to surprise us.

God, I'm not worried about the plot anymore, what a blessing! Because if the creators of Riverdale don't do that, why should I? I'm not interested anymore how show will end, what the sixth season will be about, who is with whom and why.

Who else thinks Tabitha's parents date took place in Cheryl's living room? 🙌🏼 Tabitha's parents! There is so much hope for her story, and yet Tabitha was only needed to keep the Bughead apart. (And I bet RAS will take zero shit about this.) Because if 517 has proven anything, it is that Bugheads fall into instant chemistry when they are allowed to say more than one phrase to each other.

Why do we fall into the same story every time? The louder RAS screams about the importance of the episode, the more idiotic it comes out. We expect too much from the show, which is watched live by 300,000 people! It's time to end this.

All my anxieties and worries that I had about this show magically disappeared after this episode. Because all the fan theories about how the bughead arc should go this season and what we actually got is like: over 9000 vs absolute zero.

It would be better if everything went according to the worst scenario, but with respect for the story of the characters and with decent plot construction. Because then all my worries of the last few weeks were at least justified.