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nelapanela94 · 2 years ago

Note

Hiii a bit of a sad request here feel free to skip this if you don't feel comfortable writing it!

Tw: drinking and mention of death

Levi and the reader have a daughter and they lost her to the fall of wall Maria (or so they thought ).

she was visiting her grandmother for the week when it happened and she managed to survive because of a fellow soldier who put her on the boat with every other survivor, but unfortunately her grandma did not survive (Carla Jaeger style).

When Levi and reader hear the news they rush to the reader's mothers house only to find it destroyed with no signs of life.

They're devastated, rightfully so, and they try their hardest to find her but three years go by with no avail

Levi starts drinking his loss away while reader does everything in her power to keep their marriage together and strong

And it wasn't until Hanji got the list of new cadets joining the scouts that they found out she was alive :))

So basically angsty with a fluffy ending<3

Hi anon!!! Thanks for this request!!! It took me a while to figure out the timeline to make it fit in canonverse 😳 I like writing (and reading) sad stuff, so it's ok, I don't feel uncomfortable with it.

TW: Drinking, mentions of death, angst, coarse language, teenage pregnancy, attempts of sexual assault, mentions of abortion, a lovely super soft, non-explicit smutty scene, poor emotional management.

WC: 10.5k

Unconditional love, dreams to fulfill, a home, you couldn't have it all at the same time, and despite the adversities and headwinds, Levi and you come out of the disaster unscathed; however, happiness only lasts an instant, preparing you to take it all away. One Saturday afternoon, your lives crumble along Wall Maria.

It is rather strange and complicated to tell a story that has so much of you in it without your soul riving a little.

Fighting against oneself is so exhausting. And he is an expert.

You get caught in a swarm of ‘what ifs?’ What if we had been there when the wall fell? What if we’d chosen to stay? What if that boulder didn’t crush the house?

Your minds take you back to that moment when everything changed. To that fateful instant. Whether you are asleep or awake, it doesn't matter because you have long since lost the ability to distinguish between memories and nightmares.

And since that day, everything has gone downhill. You strove blindly to pull him out of the abyss, not realizing that he was the one dragging you to the bottom.

'How much pain do you have to endure before giving up is ok?’ You ponder.

You cannot help someone who is not willing to help themself. The thought stabs your head with a screwdriver. You can’t let go. The rope slashes your palms, they burn, and yet, you tighten your grip. Sweat streams down, mingling with your tears. You don't even know what hurts more, the lacerating pain in your hands, or the whips in your heart as you watch him drown in his own grief.

The silver glow slices the shadows on his face. His eyes are open, dull and soulless with unfathomable emotion. Red, glassy, swollen. Blood creeps down the neck of the bottle throttled in his grasp. The other hand is clenched in a fist, dry blood flecked on his knuckles. Slouched against the wall, with one leg tucked in and the other stretched out, Levi vacantly stares at you.

He knows he’s ruined it for good this time.

And on the other side of the desolate ring that your living room had become, lies you. Your trembling arms tense around your legs, chin nestled on your knees. Eyes worn out; face stained with wilted tears.

Crumbs of concrete scatter at your right side. The wreckage kindled by his rage is still coming off the wall in the form of a shower of dust. At your left, shards of glass glint on the dewy crimson of cheap wine.

“I lost my daughter too, Levi.” Your voice is a limp whisper that scrapes his ears and heart.

How to fix a person who has broken down? How to put their parts back together when the stitches of your heart are about to snap?

“I can't take it anymore.” You break the silence again. You can't even tell if he's listening or if your words are just bouncing off the walls. But you can't bottle it up anymore. You have the right to crumble too. Pretending to be tough when your knees wobble is a trigger for a civil war in your heart.

We cling so fervently to those who are gone that we forget about those who are still alive.

"Hold on to your past if you want to, but don't forget that the world is too big to be alone.”

And no one deserves to be alone. But the glass is cracking, and water leaks through the gaps. Too many you can’t plug them up with your fingers, and if you stay, the force of the water will wipe out the two of you.

You close your eyes, and a long sniff appeases your throe. A seedling of serenity struggles to flourish midst the blighted soil of affliction.

The lump in his throat swells with every ‘I’m sorry’ he can’t wrench out; with every ‘please don’t leave me alone’ hoping it’s not too late.

You stared down at your flayed palms, and a respite surges through you. The rope slips through your fingers, and for a moment you don’t have to be strong, for a moment you feel free, and then you see him between your hands. Falling, lost and desperate.

Your hands clutch around the rope again, and tears from the reservoir swell up in your eyes.

“Levi.” A wistful smile peeks out from you. It’s weak, but it’s there, and he catches it. “Do you remember how we met?”

A fleecy snort bursts out from him, lugging with it the ghost of a smile. “Yeah.” He presses the heel of his hand on his forehead and shakes his head, letting out the pent-up air in a long sigh, sweeping away demons and ghosts that impeded him from seeing or thinking clearly.

His gaze tangles with yours. “Chitterlings.” Your whispers fuse.

As odd as it sounds, your story begins with chitterlings.

“You struck me as the dumbest, most naïve, quirkiest girl I'd ever met. Easy prey. Who the fuck goes to the underground city for a plate of chitterlings?”

“I eavesdropped the cooks once.” You shrug. “They swore they were the best. I had to judge for myself.”

“No one warned you that a woman walking alone always draws unwanted attention? that you shouldn't look anyone in the eye? that you should keep your mouth shut?” His hand lets go of what remained of the bottle. A searing pain flares in his palm, nothing compared to the nettles squeezing his heart. The addictive blur begins to fade, clearing up his mind.

The alcohol had puffed out his cheeks.

He’ll never admit it out loud, but you were also the girl with the most beautiful smile. Maybe, the red creeping across his face is owing to something else.

"The first thing I did was greet the tollbooth guy with an effusive good morning. How was I supposed to know? no one at home knew where I was going that day.”

“You seriously redefined the word foolish.”

“Ouch.” You fake a pout, splaying a hand on your chest. “I’d rather believe it was destiny, Levi.”

“You and the urge to romanticize everything.”

“I like to believe that a solar eclipse are the moon and the sun loving.”

“Romanticizing every phenomenon is a luxury I could never afford, not in the place where I come from.”

“And I grew up in a bubble, Levi. I was so immature and whimsical, and I never thought how cruel the world could be outside my little kingdom.”

834

You never imagined how immense the underground city could be. You rushed downstairs, clinching at the hem of your dress, playing brave under prying and hungry eyes. Sweat trickled down your face, and you could feel the beats of your heart hammering in your ears. Your scalp prickled, as a surge of adrenaline pumped through your body.

A cloud of dust revolted around your feet when you leaped off the last step. The city where dawn never breaks unfolded before you, stretching to infinity. Fear and regret gnawed at your insides, a pang that spreads like a wave to the tip of your fingers and toes.

You sucked in a long breath, lowered your head and wrapped your arms around yourself, fending off the unseemingly stares and turning a deaf ear to the ribald insinuations. You could feel those eyes drilling into you.

Your stomach content sloshed around, threatening to slam back through your throat at the stench of sewage, growing stronger with every step you took.

You crumpled your gullible plan to ask for directions to the market. The putrid smell was making you dizzy, sapping your alertness. Sauntering along the convoluted streets and swimming in your own thoughts, you didn't realize at what point the jumble of voices and drunken shouting dissipated.

A dead-end.

A bolt of terror struck you, and your heart threatened to breach out of your chest. The streetlamps flickered, giving life to the shadows on the walls. Your brain was sending signals to your legs, but they didn’t comply, it was like your feet had grown roots in the ground. And suddenly, a grinding pain exploded in your cheek, smearing to the rest of your face. A sharp tip stung your neck. With enough pressure to iterate that the threat was real, but not enough to slit your skin. The man’s body constrained you against the wall. A smug snort smoldered the side of your head.

Your breath hitched. All the color drained from your face. Any flimsy move and life would gush out from your neck.

A hand sneaked under your skirt, and a whine of panic wrung out of you. A shush behind your ear forced you to purse your lips into a thin line. Dread paralyzed you as tears streamed down your face.

“Hey!” A third person's footsteps rumbled on the soil. Calloused fingers wiped away your tears. “How could you waste such an opportunity?” The voice was gravelly. “If she is a virgin, we would get a lot for her. Then we could use her as we please.”

His fingers gripped your chin and turned your face to him. “Don't worry, you're safe for now.” A grim smirk strained his cheeks. A thick scar splat in two one of his eyebrows.

Your quivering lips parted to plead, but panic shackled you from coaxing any word. You clamp your eyes so tight you could see sparks behind your lids. In a trice, the knife fell, and you were free.

Clashes of metal, groans and wails of pain.

Silence reigned.

“Oi!” A hand grabbed yours, winding up your body, and finally, your legs responded to your commands. You opened your eyes and followed the new stranger. Unsure of what you were getting into this time, you only had the option to trust him. You only grasped his profile, silky locks of hair swept over his undercut. “Keep walking and don’t look at anyone in the eye,” he berated, and you nod, gazing down to your tangled hands.

From the shock of your life, you had lost your appetite. Though you didn't waste your time and energy going to the Underground.

"My nana once told me that if you are able to walk with someone you barely know in silence and manage to feel good, comfortable and almost complete, it means that there is something there. That we just have to water it, be patient and let it grow. Before you, I had walked aimlessly with several guys, but with you it was different, Levi. With you it wasn't necessary to talk to tell each other a myriad of things. I was at ease with you without even knowing you. Your expression relaxed when you caught me smiling at you. When you grabbed my hand, I felt a spark. A red thread lacing around our fingers.”

“Your hand was so smooth as if you’d never washed a dish in your life.”

"You must have felt something else, like a rush straight to the heart." Your chuckle lights up the gloomy room.

Levi clicks his tongue and rolls the eyes.

“I don't know if it was love at first sight, or a blast of endorphins surging through my veins, but I did feel a tingle all over my body when your eyes met mine.” You gaze down to your hands, fiddling with the golden bracelet. “I can still feel it when you look at me.” Blushing like a teenager, you smile at him. “I remember we arrived at the market, and I finally had a few minutes to breathe. I told you my name and asked for yours. I wanted to put a name to the person who saved my life.”

“I liked the way you said my name. It’d been many years since someone had uttered it so gently.”

“And I love how you rasp mine.” Your eyelids droop. “My stomach growled again, and we ended up sharing a plate of chitterlings. Well, I ate while you just watched me with furrowed brows.”

“And with your greasy thumb you smoothed down the creases.”

“Sorry ‘bout that.”

You both snort.

“You talked and talked and talked for hours. I wasn't even paying attention to what you were saying, I was just listening to your voice.” He says.

“I didn't feel time was passing by so fast. It could’ve been because it was always nighttime, or maybe because I felt comfortable with you, and I was looking for a way to lengthen the minutes.” You look at the ceiling and scratch an itch on your neck, then your eyes snap back at him. “I didn’t want to go, Levi.”

“And I didn’t want you to go.”

“But I had to go home before somebody noticed my absence. You walked me back to the stairs, and all the way through, my fingers were aching to touch yours.”

“Before you said goodbye, you gave me your necklace and said–“

“Now I'll have a reason to see you again.” You reenact the scene.

“When?”

“The last Friday of every month.”

“I went home kicking a can with my hands jammed in my pockets. The sharp tips of the star pendant dug into my palm, and I clenched my fist tighter to make sure you were real.” He runs his fingers through his hair and shakes his head. “Farlan bandaged my hand.”

"I wanted to know everything about you. Your favorite book. Your favorite food. Your dreams. Your favorite sleeping position. Who you lived with. Or your opinion on any trivial topic that might cross my mind. I spent my nights thinking of all the questions I’d ask you the next time.”

You fold your arms over your knees and bury your face. Your cheeks tingle by the reminiscent of those days.

“Look at me.”

You raise your eyes and find his.

“I waited at the bottom of the stairs all day, feeling like an idiot. At times, I came to think that it had only been a game of a whimsical rich girl.”

“I saw you, gazing down, scuffing a boot on the dirt. I reached out to you first cause I thought you wouldn't recognize me under the coat and hat. That time I borrowed clothes from my brother.”

Levi stretches out his other leg and shifts up into a more comfortable position. He looks so battered, tired, hopeless; however, he manages to cajole a feeble smile, and continues, “It wasn't hard to spend time with you, although it was disconcerting. I hardly knew you. The only thing I knew was your favorite food. Yet I felt this strange sense that I knew you on a more intimate level. I didn't know I could feel that way. It was new to me, mind-blowing and devastating. You snuck in without asking permission, you held on tight, and I didn't know what to do. Every time you climbed the stairs, I was afraid I would never see you again.” A string of giggles pours out from you, and Levi frowns. A tch seeps out of his lips.

You cover your mouth to suffocate your tittering. “I’m sorry. It’s the first time I hear you talking like that.”

“Keep mocking and it will be the last time!”

“No!” You zip your lips and throw the key away. “I want to hear you, Levi. Please.”

He averts his gaze, flustered, tugging at the collar of his t-shirt. Undressing the heart is not easy for someone who feels too much. “I found you without looking for you, you were lice itching in my head all day.”

Levi can be romantic when he sets his mind to it.

His body slumps, and he sighs. His heart beating with relentlessness. "With you I felt nothing but relief, solace for having someone by my side who didn't question my actions, my decisions, you accepted me just the way I was. I felt safe and assured. With you I could let my guard down and let myself go."

“Levi…” Your gaze softens, and you feel the urge to sit by his side and draw him into your arms. Your eyes close and tears pour down your face. The outrage in his face, his unwavering fist. You push your tongue against your teeth to keep from falling apart. Your hands still tremble, your chest hot and tight. You inhale raggedly to lull your nerves. It was just the alcohol. Levi would never hurt you. You were pushing too much.

Your gaze enmeshes with his again. "I wanted to spend my whole life figuring you out. You were an expert at hiding, Levi. It frightened me that the world wouldn't see all you had to offer. Because it was so much, beautiful, and special. there was little you could do down there, but above ground, you could leave your print in others.”

Scratching a brow, Levi gazes down. "I’m sure you had never put on a button on a shirt, but you knew how to mend the wounds of the heart.” His blushing deepens when his eyes ensnare with yours.

Your heart was thumping as loud as it did the day you met. Apprehension thaws, and a little smile graces your lips.

“You, you were so beautiful... you didn't deserve that. You didn't deserve someone like me. I still think you don't deserve what we are. I'm only good for hurting you.”

You want to listen to him, everything he has to say, to drink his words woven of feelings because for him, spewing them out scourges his throat and mouth. Even though it hurts, that’s the only way he can pluck out the thorn from his heart.

Stripping in this way is only for the bravest souls.

All that he never told you was squeezing him so tight he was about to combust, but he was able to defuse the bomb before the countdown reached zero.

He resumes. "It was Isabel's idea to invite you to dinner at our place."

His voice takes you back, the fizzing in your fingers wane, and a brief flicker of a smile slips from your lips.

You had been seeing each other furtively for almost a year when Levi invited you to his place for dinner. The poor boy was a nervous wreck. He couldn't keep his hands to himself and avoided looking you in the eye as he slurred his words.

834

He was rubbing a hand behind his head. His mouth opened to speak but closed again as he tried to put the words together. You cocked your head to the side, your hands tethered behind your back, as you rock on your heels, waiting.

“Are you ok, Levi?”

Rubbing his sweaty palms on his pants, he dragged out a big puff of air and blurted, “Have dinner with us next time.”

Your eyes beamed. “You mean–“

“Yeah… they want to meet you.”

Happiness fluttered in your heart. White speckles glinted in your eyes, and you smiled, throwing your arms around him. Levi wobbled, but he managed to grab hold of the wall before, as a tangle of bodies, you ended up rolling down the stairs. You nab his hand and drag him to behind a wall with exposed brickwork on the verge of collapse.

You stopped and locked eyes for a moment that seemed like forever. You could feel each other's shaky breathing, your hearts echoing.

“I want to kiss you, Levi.”

His heart lurched to his throat.

He yearned it too.

He dedicated his nights wondering what your lips tasted like.

Suddenly, a heap of doubts whacked him.

What if this is wrong?

What if this hurts us?

Would we regret it?

Your name escaped from his mouth as your eyes darted from his dull gaze to his lips, back to his eyes. Your cheeks were searing and his too, his heat suffused your palms.

You pressed his forehead against his, the tip of his nose stumbled with yours. A nervous laugh, a timid simper. You moistened your lips, his warmth breath fanned over them. Levi wasn’t sure of what to do with his hands. Quavering, clenched into fists by his sides as he pondered whether to touch you or keep his distance.

His hands didn’t move.

He closed his eyes. A supple brush of lips was enough to stop time. You reeled apart briefly, clamped your eyes shut, and sought his mouth again with more confidence, nibbing his bottom lip.

A sluice of tingles rippled down his legs. His guts. In everything that kept him together.

Tremor. Balance. Vertigo.

His lips were surprisingly tender, moving with caution, a little bit clumsily, as if he was still figuring out what to do. You weren’t an expert either, but the most experienced one, and took the lead. You swept your tongue and parted his lips, and sloppily, you besieged his mouth, pulling out a little moan from him.

You felt an itching on the tip of your tongue.

Your hands.

Your belly.

Between your legs grew an uncontrollable heat that made you feel ashamed.

Your tongues danced gawkily together as your hands roam down his chest, caressed his shoulders and glided down his arms until your fingers interlaced with his.

Slow, klutzy and sweet.

That was your first kiss.

It was perfect.

You turned around and ran away, too flustered to look back at him.

“I’ll bring dessert,” it’s all he heard as his eyes riveted on your back.

Levi stood there, flummoxed, touching his glossy lips with his fingers until his stinky world redrew its edges before him.

Befuddled and driven by inertia, his legs dragged him back home. He couldn’t take his fingers of his lips. A tickle on his cheeks. Warmth spread under his pants.

Levi did not have a normal childhood. Forced to grow up at a very young age, he witnessed death and the unbridled cruelty of the human being. He had learned to fight in order to survive every day. Yet he was just a sixteen-year-old boy subjected by his raging hormones who had kissed the girl with the prettiest smile. The girl who had built a nest in his head.

He let her build it.

He craned his head over his shoulder.

What if he ran to you and kissed you again? What if you threw yourself against his chest, wrapped your legs around his hips and never let go? He wanted you to. He had never needed anything so badly. His hands itched to touch you. And his heart had never felt anything like it.

He couldn’t recognize himself anymore.

Arousing and terrifying.

Farlan smiled at the sight of you together, laughing, searching each other's eyes, sharing something, alien to your surroundings, observing the peculiar mix that resulted from the two of you.

It didn’t make sense. You didn’t make sense. How do you mix water and oil?

By emulsifying it.

But Levi was happy. Flustered, skittish. A side of Levi he’d never seen before. It was amusing. And he shared his friend's joy. But he was also afraid that Levi would end up with a bruised heart. While Isabel cleaned her plate with bread and asked questions of all kinds to their guest, Farlan only thought about how such a relationship could last. Levi didn't belong in your world, and you belonged even less in his.

. But he knew Levi so well. He knew he wasn't just messing around with you.

That troubled him even more.

So much happiness could only be a bad omen. Putting everything in your hands to rip it off in the most merciless way.

“And what do you want to do when you grow up?” Isabel prodded.

“Uh…” You hesitated. “I want to join the Survey Corps.”

Three pair of eyes stared at you, muddled.

“But if you join the military, how will you marry big bro?”

An awkward silence hovered over. You clear your throat with a long swig of wine. Levi was gazing a blank point on the wall. And Farlan feared more than ever because Levi was clinging to something that seemed impossible. He harrumphed, and the chair screeched. “Oi!” He ruffled Isabel’s hair to which the girl whined because she had spent hours brushing it to make it look decent. “Help me with the plates for dessert.”

Surly, with her arms folded over her chest, she followed him.

“The Survey Corps?” Levi cast a query look. “Since when?”

“Since I was a little girl, Levi.”

“You never told me.”

“You never asked.” And realization dawned. Captivated by the new sensations you awoke in him, Levi forgot the important questions.

He knew that what he felt for you was beyond desire.

Love, he was scared to label it.

But life doesn’t spin around love. Life is more than that. Personal fulfillment. Dreams to be achieved. Falling down and getting up a thousand times.

How do you know all that when you are bereft of dreams? When all you fight for is to earn the next meal and keep a roof over your head?

Levi began to falter.

He found your hand under the table and held on to it. Your fingers fitted together as if you were made for each other.

Life was so unfair. To take away from him what he loved most. He could not allow it.

Even though he was aware that it wasn't up to him alone.

“Won’t you get in trouble if you stay?”

You shook your head. “My parents think I’m staying at my cousin’s.” You smiled playfully, swinging your head as your draw feathery circles on his cotton-clad shoulder. You kissed him, pulled away, teasingly, and he chased you, and you smack his lips again. His fingers threaded with yours. You were sitting at the edge of his bed. Incensed infused his room. A single bed, a nightstand, a desk, a small reach-in closet with everything perfectly arrayed by color and size.

“Levi…” You rasped the syllables of his name in a whisper. “I want to touch you.” You bit your bottom lip.

How beautiful were the teenage Levi's eyes, lively, frightening, sharp, intelligent. His gaze tensed as he processed your words, and then softened. You wanted to kiss his eyelids. His nose. The base of his throat. The little scar he'd gotten on his chin while working. You'd only ever kissed him on the lips and were already berating yourself for wasting so much time not knowing what it would be like to use your lips on every nook and cranny of his skin.

Levi’s chest swelled up, he closed his eyes and blew out his wrecking nerves. He nodded and nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck, sucking in the sweetness of your perfume. You lolled your head to the side, and your hand slipped over his pants. A soft moan vibrated on your pulse; Levi jerked when he felt you prodding his hardness. He pulled apart, a hiss swept off his lips, and his fingers curled around your wrist. “How far you want to go?”

“I want you all, Levi.”

Your eyes were veiled with need and so were his. You were carried away by the ardor in your cores. One by one you undid the buttons of his shirt.

A swarm of butterflies seized your stomach.

Fervor. Vertigo.

You turned around and flung your hair over your shoulder. His hands, that never hesitated when wielding a knife, were reed in the wind as he tugged at the end of the lace that kept your dress together, loosened it; his palms searing your skin as they ventured beneath the panels, and cleaved them open slowly.

FuckShitFuckShit.

As he peeled the sleeves off your arms, his lips pampered your naked shoulders, his fingertips skimmed your skin like feathers, breaking goosebumps on every inch. He could feel your breath hitching, your heart banging between your chest and your back.

“I’ve never done this, Levi.”

“Me neither.”

You took his hands in yours and brought them to your chest. Shit, he was straining under his pants, the bulge nudged against your butt. “Touch me.” You closed your eyes and leaned on his chest, letting him continue alone. Little by little, he was discovering your favorite places, the ones that made you vibrate. Out of embarrassment, perhaps, you tried to muffle your moans, your fingers pierced your thighs over the skirt, squirming, your eyebrows twitched.

“I want to hear you.” He crooned in your ear and pinched harder.

Your pretty sounds enveloped you.

Levi was the first to strip completely naked. Sitting in the middle of the bed, he let you discover him with your hands and mouth. You had never seen one before, but Levi was pretty.

You kissed a lot and giggled too, as you taught and learned each other. Scars crept over his flesh, most of them so fine, barely noticeable under the flicking glow of the candle.

You read them several times, you wanted to know every story behind them.

One blink, and you were beneath him, completely naked, with red cheeks about to burst, while Levi just watched you, studying your face for traces of regret. His hair tickled your forehead.

His knees parted your legs making you feel exposed and vulnerable. But you trusted him. Levi would never hurt you. He was a nervous wreck too; he just knew how to camouflage them better. He stroked your cheek. Without breaking the eye contact, you nodded, took his face in your hands, and brought him to you, pressing your lips on his.

He concentrated on not bursting as soon as your heat enveloped him, not an easy task when all his blood was rushing down.

He was sweet, tender, and patient.

Although it also hurt, and his sheets stained with blood.

“It was the first time I slept six hours straight. I didn’t want to let you go, Y/N. I was determined to get the fuck out of that shithole. I even wondered if they would welcome a former thug into the military. If you wanted to fight titans, we would do it together.”

"And we did, not exactly as you had planned, but it happened after several twists and turns along the way." You fiddle with the star shaped pendant hanging around your neck.

"The following Friday I waited for you, but you didn't show up. I spent four weeks tormenting myself, thinking I had ruined everything.”

“It was already eight weeks when I mustered the courage to tell you.”

“You kept picking your cuticles, they bled. We were in my room, sitting on my bed, facing each other. You wouldn't stop crying, and my mind was racing trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together. Nothing fit, and I was upset, not because I was going to be a father, but because I didn't want that baby to be born in a place like that. And then you mumbled those words that whipped out my heart.”

It’s only eight weeks, Levi, we still have time to get rid of the problem.

He closes his eyes and buries his face in his hands, the saltiness stings his wounds. His heart shrinks. Iron wire throttles his neck as he obliges to grasp the crumbs of air. His wracking sobs slap you, yet you don’t move to console him in an embrace, to patch him up after you broke him. You recoil in your corner, witnessing how he disintegrates in the salt of his tears.

He stops heaving, draws in air, and runs his fingers through his hair, shaking his head.

“You don't know how much your words hurt me. I don't know if in your world girls are used to getting rid of their mistakes like a dress out of season.”

“Son of a–“ You purse your lips into a thin line and look away. Resentment splashes all over your face. You clench your jaw so tight you feel your teeth might break.

“Go on, say it.” His chin wobbles, his eyes are shattered crystal. But you can’t. Instead, another wave of tears crashes over you. “Who knows how many times she heard that too…” You cover your ears to protect yourself from the harrowing wails.

The earth rattles, and a chasm split between the two.

“I’m sorry, Levi.” Your voice choked with sobs. “But I was terrified. Devastated. To continue meant I'd lose my home, my family, even my name. To give up a dream.”

No matter how much you reformulated your plans, neither of you would get everything you wanted. Not at that moment.

You communicated through letters during the last months of pregnancy. Levi, though he was dying to have you near him, had to repel any risk of infection or accident. You moved to a little house outside Mitras with your nanny who made sure you received the best care. From time to time, your mother visited; your father didn’t want to hear from you. Neither did your brother. Your family left you out of the will.

Your belly grew and grew, and the baby began to kick. A lot. What were you expecting if it was Levi's baby you were carrying in your womb?

It wasn’t a happy pregnancy. It wasn’t a beautiful, pleasant journey. You barely left your room and hardly ate. The subtlest smell of food was enough to revolt your stomach, and your throat burned from vomiting to the bone. You lost weight, and not even several layers of concealer could cover the dark circles under your eyes. You got used to seeing in the mirror a puffy-eyed you after weeping nights.

You had your doubts of whether or not you were doing the right thing

And it hurt. He should’ve been there with you, his hand entwined with yours, stroking your belly. Thinking of names and the decoration of the room. Picking up clothes. Levi calling them brat already.

It is so unfair that those who rule your world put a seal on the foreheads of those who are born in that place. A seal that deprives them of any rights, even to feel the warmth of the sun caressing their faces.

The leaves turned red and orange and yellow, the branches of the trees stripped naked, and the temperature dropped drastically.

Violet was born on an autumn day. Only when her piercing wail broke through the room, the tauten grip clutching your mother’s hand loosened up. Ebony specks of hair covered her little head. Tiny nose and round cheeks. You counted her fingers and toes. Five on each hand and foot. Your little bundle of love and joy. She was so pretty you couldn't take your eyes off her. You and your mother laughed at the funny little noises coming from her lips. You can’t put into words what you felt when holding the baby in your arms for the first time, but the heap of doubts, little by little, dwindled.

Every week you sent Levi letters with Violet’s handprints and footprints that he still treasures in a chest at the back of the closet. Although you were dying to see him, Violet was too little, and you were still recovering to venture into the Underground City.

Six months passed before Levi met her.

Levi felt restored and full again when he held his baby girl in his arms for the first time. His eyes glistened, but he wiped off the seedling of tears before they roam down his face. Joy bubbled up inside of him as those big steel-gray eyes beamed at him. Violet wound up his heart and gave him a reason to fight every day.

He fell in love for the second time, and a bond was created. A bond that could not be broken. Even with what happened years later.

“You had a knack for fatherhood, Levi. We agreed that you would see her on weekends. She never let go of you, or you of her. She used to fall asleep on your chest. You bathed her, changed her diapers, combed her hair. You’d pinch the rolls on her arms and legs as if to make sure she was growing up healthy. She would burst out laughing when daddy blew raspberries on her tummy. She began to learn your gestures and mannerisms. Every day she became more and more like you, and not only physically. She imitated your scowls, grabbed her wooden cups like you. I never told you I was summoned to school because of her potty-mouth.”

Rubbing a hand on his thigh, Levi snorts.

“Dad always uses them, and no one scolds him, she said. I wanted the seat to swallow me.”

“That’s why she got suspended for three days.”

“She was reckless and fearless, and never thought of the consequences because…”

Levi shakes his head. Your lips quiver, and the words clog in your throat like a bush of thorns.

…Dad will always protect me.

“I never asked you why you wanted to join the Survey Corps?” Levi deviates the topic.

“As childish as it sounds, I want to see the ocean. I want to feel sand on my soles. I read about it in one of Dad's old books.”

“I was so angry when you made your decision, how could you abandon our five-year-old daughter.” Levi purses his lips and inhales.

“I did not abandon her. Mom would take care of her.” You gulp “The decision had been made many years ago, I was just putting it off. For love not everything counts; not if you devote yourself to the point that you become an empty shell. I had you, I had her. But for the first time I was my priority even if nobody understood it.” His fingers curl around the pendant. He bores into you, his eyes prickle with tears.

“She spent weeks molding those charms in clay. Some of them broke, but she insisted until she was satisfied.”

843

Wood crackled on the fireplace, Violet’s round face awash in the flickering orange glow. The bed of old newspapers protected the maple flooring of your mother’s house.

"Why doesn't Dad live with us?"

Your grip tautened. A twinge spread venom on your chest.

She wore an old dress that once belonged to you on top of a thick wool sweater, dappled with crusts of clay. She rubs the back of her hand on her forehead, slathering herself with the hellish sticky material.

You put the book down. “He can’t right now, but one day he will.”

“When?”

“I don’t know, Vi…”

“Do you think he’ll like it?” She turned around. Two necklaces dangled from her fingers; a proud smile strained her cheeks to her eyes.

You smiled back. “He’ll love it.” She’d crafted two identical pendants, the letters VI carved on each once. “Let’s put it in the oven.” You set the book on the coffee table and stretched your arms over your head.

“I’ll show them to grandma!” She chirped and rushed to the kitchen.

Vi. The syllable they shared.

It was a birthday present for Levi. The last one you celebrated in the Underground City.

844

Colors bloomed again in the gardens and parks. A cloud or two rolled in a cerulean sky. Laughter and cheers drifted from the playground as nannies watched heedfully for the children of their employers.

You had received an unsigned letter a few days earlier asking to meet the sender in the central park of Mitras, at ten bells, on the bench in front of the duck pond, under the old oak tree.

“Dad!” Violet let go of your hand and ran into his arms. Your eyes swam with tears as you waited for your turn. His arms draped around your waist, your hands swaddled his cheeks, and you kissed him, or he kissed you. And the vertigo, again, surged through you, seizing your legs and your balance.

“Ewwww.” Wrinkled nose, hands pressed on her stomach.

You pulled apart, chuckling.

“Turn around.” Levi swirled a finger in the air. The mini him swiveled on her heels, pouting, arms crossed over her chest. Reality blurred when your lips fused with his once more.

You ambled in the park for a couple of hours before lunch, hand in hand, and the serenity, which for years had been foreign, returned. “Congratulations, Y/N.” His thumb caressed the back of your hand. “Sixth in your class. We must celebrate.”

“Thank you, Levi, but chitterlings here are not as good as there.”

He cracked a chuckle. Violet was walking before you, in a bright red dress with a bow tied on her back around her waist, puffy sleeves cinched around her wrists. Her hair pulled back in a ponytail, swung from side to side with every little jump she took. her patent leather shoes flashing a glint in the sunlight. Rice drizzled around her, beckoning pigeons.

The clop of hooves and rattling of wheels wafted from the main street. Tree leaves rustled, the fresh breeze caressed his face, ruffled his hair, roiled the excess of his oversized shirt.

“How?”

“I made a deal.” One corner of his lips curved in a strained smile. He grabbed your arm, stopping you, and you stood before him. He tucked a lock of hair behind your ear. “You'll have to teach me how to ride a horse.”

Your head tipped slightly to the side; your eyebrows furrowed. “What are you talking about?” “We can go tomorrow to pick up our uniforms together.”

You shook your head, babbling nonsense, trying to make sense of his words.

“But… you…what…when…” Levi cut you with a kiss before you continued your way to nowhere.

Your hands sizzled with bliss, excitement; finally, the gears of your life were clicking into place.

Though, he saved part of the story for himself.

“We could talk with your mother, ask her if she’s willing to move to Shiganshina.”

Your father had died a few years ago, and your mother could not be apart from her favorite granddaughter. “I’m sure she will. And we could save to buy our own place.” You leaned in for a kiss.

He reels back, his fingers fondling your arm, and smiled. “Sounds… great.”

Levi squints his eyes, snaps his face away, and shades his eyes with a hand. His nose and cheeks crept with a shade of pink.

Levi brushed away the yellow petals from the bench before sitting down, flower buds stippled on the freshly mown grass. You curled against his chest, your legs swung on his lap, and his arm wrapped around your waist. “You’re a pretty boy, Levi.” You purred, pinching his cheek. He frowned and flustered and snapped your hand away.

“Don’t call me that.” He clicked his tongue, and you couldn’t help but laugh. You took his hand, brought it to your mouth and pressed a kiss on his knuckles. Scars, small and thin, outlined new stories.

845

“…and they lived happy ever after.” You flipped the last page. “The end.” Violet stirred under the covers, hugging tightly Mr. Whiskers, a stuffed rabbit with a head twice the size of his body. He had lost his right eye, and Levi pinned on a gray button to replace it.

You and Levi lay on your sides, facing each other, head propped on your elbow; Violet had settled in her safe space between the two.

"Are you all packed for the week?" Levi queried, planting a kiss on her head.

“Uh-huh, and Mr. Whiskers too.” You and Levi had rented an apartment, your own place; however, Violet spent most of her time at her grandmother's, who made the best oatmeal cookies in the world.

“Must you go on the expedition tomorrow?” She mumbled, lowering her eyebrows, lips pressed into a line. Wariness flashed across her eyes. Levi and you exchanged wary glances. You sucked on your lower lip while Levi’s fingers mingled in her hair.

“We'll be back Sunday morning before you wake up. A stack of pancakes will be waiting for you.”

“Just don’t be a pain in the ass to your grandmother.”

You kicked Levi under the sheets and gave him a deathly glare.

Round gray eyes flicked from Levi to you to Levi. “Can you sleep with me tonight?” Fiddling, with her necklace, she asked. And you couldn’t say no to those puppy eyes that frustrated your intimacy plans.

Levi’s eyes twitched as he squelched a tch. Wincing, you shrugged and mouthed ‘I’m sorry.’

And as best as you could, the three nestled into a single bed.

Next morning, your back pain sank into a groan.

You said goodbye to your mother with a hug and to Violet with a kiss on the cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Crestfallen and with dozens of casualties, the Survey Corps returned to Shiganshina sooner than expected. Contempt, disdain smeared on the citizens faces. Defeated, the soldiers still standing were to head to Mitras to deliver reports. However, the unthinkable happened. That afternoon, as shadows stretched from the west over the city, Wall Maria fell.

The news quickly spread, and when they reached your ears, blood froze in your veins. Your body went numb, and all the voices converged in a deafening whistle.

You did not recognize the city that was crumbling before you. The smoke made the air thicker, the desperate screams threatened to break your eardrums, the reek of blood was turning your stomach. A small hand stiffed under a wall, clenching a rag doll.

Against the throng, you made it through, steered the debris until you reached your mother's house. A pile of stones rose on its place.

You dismounted. The horses neighed in fear. You didn’t tether them to anything; they were free to escape at any time, yet they didn’t.

Terror clenched Levi’s jaw. Muted with horror and heaving, he was tucking in all the dread. You could see it in his eyes, the same expression that laced him when Isabel and Farlan died.

His mouth swarmed with the taste of iron, dulled to pain, he didn’t feel his teeth drilling into his lips. The edges of reality warped, his legs rooted to the floor. He was shaking violently, swallowing the tears that heaped behind his eyes.

He suppressed a shiver and took one step. And another and another. Only one wall remained standing.

Panic twisted in your guts. Your wobbly legs moved too, and you followed him to what was left of the threshold.

You fell onto your knees, drowning your face in your hands. Rushed breaths racked down, scourging your throat and depriving you of oxygen. Your muscles tensed, your hands couldn’t stop trembling.

Levi stood in the middle of where the living room once sprawled, eyes empty, his body eerily still. He gazed down and moved a slab wood off the way. Jagged pants harrowed him when he found Mr. Whiskers, his filling belching out from his belly.

He bent down, grabbed it, and squeezed it in his arms. Tears swelled in his eyes, fogging the world.

His little girl.

The shield of numbness crept over.

With the remnant of strength, he staggered to the wall, and finally his feet gave out. His knees hit the floor. He tried to stay firm, for both, but in a finger snap, it drained all out of him... his defenses plummeted, and the claws of trepidation took over. They assaulted him, bombing him with images of Violet sleeping on his chest, of Violet holding his hand while sauntering through the market stalls, of Violet and him having tea parties in the living room, of Violet waiting for him with her arms open, of his little girl calling him papa...

His head fell backward, and all the tears he struggled against crashed back like a deluge. With his heart in his fist, he begged in silence for this to be the most dreadful nightmare. Wake up, wake up, wake up, he barked to himself. And he opened his eyes, wrecked by the pain that shouted to him that it was real.

Huddled in a corner, you foundered too. Your hands covered your mouth, and that evening, you cried until there weren’t more tears to shed. Your mother and your daughter, torn away from you in one finger snap.

You and Levi shattered in that dreary place as the world spun.

With no bodies to bury, you built a small shrine in the living room of your new home in Trost.

Home.

It never felt like one.

Not without her.

Not without your Levi.

Driven by a smidge of hope, you looked for her in shelters and orphanages unsuccessfully. No one answered to the name Violet (L/N).

Days, weeks, months unwound from the unstoppable spool of time. The Levi you had fallen in love with got lost behind lackluster eyes. An abyss, black and bottomless, swallowed him. Every day more irritable than ever. His side of the bed remained untouched. He let his mind wandered among the stack of reports to be signed and unburdened his anger and impotence during the training sessions with the new recruits. And you, behind, picking up the shattered glasses, holding strong for both of you.

848-850

"Levi, you can't go on like this."

Seething, his eyes pierced through you. Hands clenched on his thighs to keep from splintering. Pure restraint. That was Levi holding back his grief, letting it consume him, flaying him alive, calcining him from inside. He would vent his pain by hurting others with words. And he didn't mean to, he just didn't know any other way to handle his emotions.

“Fuck off, Y/N!” He barks, making you lurch back. Rattled eyes opened wide, glistening, quivering. Levi had never raised his voice to you, but he didn’t back up. Blue ink blotched the document, and grunting, he set the quill on the holder. “Leave me alone.” He rubs a hand down his face.

Nibbling your cheek, you nodded, and turned around. Levi didn’t stop you, he limited himself to watch you. You were right, but he wasn’t ready to admit it.

You slammed the door close behind you, the rumble rippled down the corridor. Startled eyes and whispers followed you until you disappeared around the corner.

Was it worth to keep fighting for this relationship? Nothing tied you to him anymore.

Slapping a hand on your mouth, you sniffed your tears down your throat. Your back slipped down against the wall as your chest rose and fell with ragged breathes. You shook your head, tossing away those poisonous thoughts. You’ve chosen Levi because you loved him. Even if you were riding on a bumpy road, you still loved him. Seeing him like this, sinking in his own mourning stabbed your chest with a serrated knife. Yes, you loved him, but he wasn’t being fair. You had lost your child too, and your mother.

Why couldn't you be stronger? You had to be for both.

You thought the situation wouldn’t turn worse, but nothing prepared you for the twists that awaited you ahead. The roads convoluted into dead ends. Dread thundered down on you when you felt your cheek strained against the bricked wall, but this time Levi wouldn’t come to save you.

Wine, whiskey, rum. Empty bottles toppled down on the table when you arrived home one Saturday evening. You found him at the dining table, his head tucked on his stretched-out arm, the silver chain drooping from his hand. A half-empty bottle of cheap malbec swirled in the other one.

“You look… good.” Levi nudged in a sandpapery whisper. His eyes dawdled your silhouette. “That’s a new dress, isn’t it?”

“Was on sale at the market.” You uttered unabashedly.

“You know I love you.”

“That’s a great way to show it, Levi.”

“You’re so beautiful.”

“And you’re a loser. Look at you.” The creases on your forehead deepened. You twitched your mouth, sucking on your lower lip.

“I lost my daughter.”

“You’re being selfish, Levi.”

He closed his eyes; drunk in the way you still coat his name with honey.

“They took her away from me.” His words ground through his teeth. Your shook your head, fists tautened by your sides. This was the bottom of the pit, and you had let him drag you too. Your heels clanked on the wood, firm and determined, as you headed to the kitchen and fetched a bag from the bag of bags.

More than ten bottles clinked one on top of the other. Grassy, woody, fruity notes clouded the room. Levi had found refuge in drink. You've known it for a long time, but out of sight, out of mind. Alcohol never hampered his job, always alert, always in his five senses. No matter how diluted his blood was in ethanol, it was not enough to forget. And that was the worst thing. He started with a bottle, and you couldn’t oppose. Then, you found more crammed in his side of his closet; you couldn’t fight him either. You weren’t strong enough. Sometimes, out of respect for you and his home, he drowned his sorrows in the bar at the end of the street. At least he never embarrassed you, never got into fights, always came home in the wee hours of the morning.

He'd snuggle under the sheets in his street clothes that reeked of alcohol, slide down the sleeve of your nightgown. His breath would brush your bare shoulder as his bold hand would seek you under the cotton weave, and though your body would react to his touch, you’d refuse. Because it wasn't fair.

By caressing the inside of your thighs or cupping your breasts, he would try to convince you. You’d feel his erection growing, straining the small of your back.

You’d stop his hand, hesitating, and then would turn around and succumb to his tarnished charm.

Alcohol was his means to cope, sex had become yours.

But today was the straw that broke the camel's back.

“Go take a shower, Levi.”

Silence. Painful silence.

“Sometimes I get the feeling that you didn't love her as much as I did.”

Fuck. You had enough.

The bottles wreck inside the bag.

You grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and exploded, “You're a motherfucking son of a bitch. How you fucking dare!”

A stinging pain blast on his cheek with the shape of your palm.

“Then why…“ he slurred. “Why do you insist on forgetting her?” His eyes flicked to you.

“Carry on doesn’t mean forgetting.” You spat. Tears shimmered in your eyes.

His gaze flashed with rage, indignation, pain. Now it was him gripping and twisting the collar of your dress. His chin quivered. Levi scrambled on his feet and clutched tighter; he was the one shoving you against that wall.

“Le…” Your fingers anchored to his hand, but he didn’t budge. No. He moved forward, without taking his eyes off yours. Bright red, you thought they would pop. Then, the wall hit your back and the battering of your heart pounded in your temples. You squirmed, trying to extricate from him. “Please…” You cried. The claws of fear raked the chalkboard of your nerves. His warred feelings slathered his face in a deep red, small blood vessels drew spiders on his cheeks; an important vein throbbed down his temple. A tendon jutted out of his neck, too stiff you thought it’d snap.

You couldn’t read his eyes. Levi wasn’t there.

The bottle yielded to his menacing clasp. Fragments of glass scattered at your feet. Levi didn’t even wince; however, he released you. Compressed between the wall and his chest, you stiffened, afraid that the sightliest motion would trigger him. Heaving, he raised his hand and brought it near your face, froze for a handful of seconds, hesitating, closed it into a fist and retrieved.

He didn’t deserve to touch you; he didn’t deserve you at all.

Ire, shame and guilt merged into his fist. You saw it coming and shut your eyes, shivering, bracing for it. The blow made the whole house rumble, or so you felt.

Levi crouched and grabbed the neck of the bottle, squeezing, until the pricking pain of the shards encroached the burning pain of his knuckles.

When you opened them, Levi was trudging away across the room.

Your gazes met again, hurt, broken, hopeless as you both slumped to the floor.

Hours passed in a deafening silence.

“I lost my daughter too…”

“What are you doing?”

You kneel before him, and latch open the first aid kit. “Taking care of you, of course.”

He doesn’t flinch, he doesn't whine as you dab the peroxide-soaked cotton ball on his battered knuckles. “Are you sure you didn’t fracture them?” You raised a brow.

“I’m alright.”

“You don’t seem alright to me.” You wrap his wounds in gauze. “The other one.” And with all the patience in the world, armed with a pair of eyebrow tweezers, you begin to pluck out the pieces of glass embedded in his palm.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” He spews. He knows you deserve more than an ‘I'm sorry’, but he doesn't know where to start.

Fighting the undeniable fact that nothing will ever be the same again is exhausting. Because the things that have happened cannot be changed, no matter how much you dream over and over again, that you go back to that moment. To the exact point where your little kingdom fell apart.

"You seriously don't remember anything before that day?" Big green eyes stared at her perplexed.

Vi shakes her head. “Not even my name. The doctor says that there’s still a chance that the memories will come back in time, but each day I lose faith.”

That day, Violet managed to escape, leaving her grandmother behind when a wall crushed her legs. With her face soaked in tears, and her heart jackhammering in her ribcage, a sudden rush of stamina dashed through her bestowing on her a power she had never experienced before. Unstoppable, invincible. She ran down the street until something knocked her out, and everything went black.

Her face contorted in pain when the hard bed lanced her spine. Groggily, she opened her eyes, flinching as the unfamiliar surroundings unfurled before her. Shins, calves, white shoes hustling from side to side. Babies cried. Men hissed. Women comforted. Downcast faces. It took her a while to recognize her whereabouts. The hospital, overflowed. She rested on a mat in a hectic corridor. Next to her a man on a rickety chair with an IV in his arm hummed a tune, his fingers rapped at the rhythm against the armrest. The bag with clear liquid hung from a nail in the wall above his head. Green, purple and black blended on a bruise on one side of his forehead.

“Hey, little bean.” He smiled warmly at her. “I’m glad you’re awake.”

Violet sat up, wincing at the pounding in her head. She glanced around, then looked at the man.

She said nothing.

She didn’t know what to say.

“I’m Arthur. What’s your name?”

“I’m… uh… I’m…” She gulped, and her eyes went round. Panic wrung her guts as tears streamed down her face. “I don’t know.” She wrenched out in a whisper.

“What about Vi?” he pointed to her chest. She gazed down and took the pendant in her palm.

Vi. Two years later she signed in the Training Corps under the name Vi. Just Vi.

“Miche, you have to believe me!!” Hange’s hands carve through their hair, clenching for a second. “That new recruit looks exact the same as Levi.”

The big guy rolls his eyes and sighs. “I believed you the first time.”

“Do you think shorty would have…?” They curl their thumb and forefinger under their chin, lines creep between their eyebrows.

“Hange…” His forehead puckered.

“Alright, alright.” They toss their hands in the air.

“Didn’t they have a daughter?”

“Yeah, though I never met her. Levi and Y/N hardly talked about their life outside the Headquarters.” They scratch their forehead and let out a sigh. “Levi never recovered from their loss.”

“The new recruits will arrive today, right?”

“Yeah…” Hange clasps their hands together, their eyes covered by the glint of their lenses.

“Oi! Shitty-glasses!”

“Levi!” Their excitement twists into concern when they spot the ravenette’s bandaged hands.

“What happened?”

“Are you ok?” Miche pats Levi’s shoulder and squeezes.

“I’m good.”

The main yard stirs up with noises.

“They’re here!” The brunette squeals and sprints to the window; Miche followed. They turned around so abruptly that something slipped out of the scientist’s pocket. Levi takes it from the floor. It was a piece of paper, folded in four. A sudden urge drives him, and he spreads it out.

A list with names.

His eyes roamed over each one, until they stopped dead in their tracks on a monosyllable name.

Vi.

He squints, pads to the window, and harrumphs. “Oi! Do you have more information on this Vi?” He points.

“Oh!” Hange pats their empty pocket. “Thanks.” They pry the list from Levi and secures it in the pocket inside their jacket. “The files of each are in Erwin's office. We don't know much about her, though. According to medical records, after Shiganshina's fall, a blow to the head caused her amnesia, and even after five years, she can remember very little.”

Levi looks out of the window too. New faces brimming with naïveté and expectations. “Out of those brats, can you tell who Vi is?” Levi demands.

“Why so–“

“Just answer!” Levi snaps. Miche frowns at him.

“That one.” Hange points out. “The one with black hair and…“ They turn their head to Levi, but he was long gone.

Captain Levi weave through the bunch of new recruits, the weight of their beaming eyes anchors to his back. He makes his way to the stables. His heart beating with frenzy. It’s been five years, Levi. It could be a coincidence. He tells himself.

He stops, runs his fingers through his hair and thinks. He thinks of a way to approach without being a creep. A horse has chosen her already, and she’s bonding with her new companion, feeding them a carrot.

He regrets not telling you. Shit, you’d handle this better than him.

Levi shoves his hands into his pockets so no one else can see them shaking and resumes his way.

A cold shiver runs down his spine. He opens his mouth to talk and clamps it again. There’s still time to swivel on his boots and run away.

He muzzles a cough in his fist.

“You know how to saddle her?”

The girl jars and spins around, baffled steel-gray eyes mirror his own.

“Captain Levi!”

It can’t be a coincidence; she can’t be a coincidence. Levi crosses one leg before the other to keep his balance.

“I… I didn’t mean to startle you.” His eyes dart around as he scratches his temple.

Simpering, she shakes her head. “It’s ok. Uh…” Damn. She uses the same fillers. “Could you help me with the cinch?”

“Uh-huh.”

Her long braids fling over her shoulders when she turns around. “What happened to your hands?”

“Domestic accident.”

She doesn't buy it.

He squints tracing with his eyes the lighter tissue creeping at the side of her head.

“What about you?”

“You mean this?” She traces the scar with her fingers. “Don’t know. It was the day Wall Maria fell. Something hit me, I guess.” She shrugs.

The straps slip from his fingers, but she catches them midair and hand them to him.

He couldn’t do this alone. Shit, he needs you. He swelters under his clothes and, it's only grazing the beginnings of summer. The leaves of the trees stir, the torn blanket of white clouds safeguards you from the sun's rays.

Levi doesn’t know what else to say.

And the, he catches a glimpse of it. His eyes snap open so wide they threaten to pop out and fall onto the manure. He gapes, his chest puffing and compressing frenziedly. This is too much for him to handle.

“Are you alright?”

He nods several times, unable to utter a word.

“I…” He swallows the knot in his throat and tosses a quivering thumb over his shoulder. “I… need to finish…”

“Levi!”

The other horses raise their heads to you. Levi closes his eyes, his Adam’s apple bobs.

“Hey, I finally find–“ The tray clashes on the floor, the cookies propelled in all directions, cracking or cushioning on horse shit.

Your jaw splinters open, and your eyes bulge. Rattled breaths roil you, and you cover your mouth with a palm to smother your shock

She had reached Levi's height, and her body had changed, some parts became wider while others had trimmed down.

“Violet…” Your voice warbles with emotion. Frost expands through your core and into your chest, stealing your breath away. Your muscles numb and your knees buckle as you back away, but Levi grabs you before you pounce onto the floor.

"Violet?" The teenage girl blinks twice, her head tilts to the side. She steers around her horse to approach you two and spots it, the pendant peeking out under Levi's jacket. A gasp. She halts, and leer back. Her mouth falls open, and her thin black eyebrows rise. Her skin tingles, refusing to believe what she's seen. "Why?" She folds an arm against her stomach, shaking her head in denial. Her voice wavers. "Why... you...?" She points at him, and Levi's gaze settles on his chest.

"I... You..." He takes the pendant in his hand, fumbling, his words choke him as he tries to pull them out.

"You crafted them both." You get back on your feet. Your chest hitches, yet you continue. "For your dad's birthday." Your voice quavers as a flood of tears consume your eyes.

Violet sidles up to Levi apprehensively, as if you were both figments of her imagination. He doesn't budge, indeed, he doesn't even flinch. He lets her get closer, and closer. "I want to see it." Levi nods, takes the necklace off and hands it to her. She compares them, tracing her thumbs on the carving. Tears glisten in her eyes, turning them into moonstones that flick between the two of you. "I... Violet. Is it my name?"

"You really don't remember?" Levi furrows his brows as his heart chips like his old mug.

She sniffles, covers her eyes with her arm and shakes her head. "Just fragments."

"Can you tell us what you remember?" your eyes soften as you wrap your arms around her, and she pours her heart out on you, while you stroke her back like when she was a little girl and cried to see daddy.

She calms down, and still curled on your chest, she mumbles. "Lavender, the smell of freshly baked cookies, a place where the sun didn't rise, walks in a park, lullaby that goes like this." She clears her throat to sing in a shaky voice. "Goodnight, my angel, now it's time to dream–"

"And dream how wonderful your life will be." That's the only fragment Levi remembers too, of course he didn't carry the tune as sweet and cooing as She did. He blinks away his tears and winds his arms around you; to you, asking you to forgive him for all the agony he wrought on you over the past five years, for all you put up with to keep the relationship afloat and move on with your lives, for staying strong when he flagged. You, his first love, the silly girl who loves the chitterlings at the Underground City Market. To Violet, his little girl, with whom he shares more than a syllable, a 'welcome home.'

Thank you so much for reading!!!

Now, since you've reached the bottom, I want you to know that down here I'll be posting drabbles set after this fic. Just Levi, Reader and Violet getting back together.

ghosts from the past

Don't you love her anymore?

Leo (Soft SMUT. MDNI)

Wherever you are, be happy

#levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #attack on titan #aot #snk #shingeki no kyojin #levi attack on titan #snk levi #levi x reader #levi x you #levi aot #levi x y/n #levi fanfiction #levi ackerman x you #nela writes #requests

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redvsblue-confessions · 2 years ago

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I have been into rvb sense 2019 and I’ve found out my brother watched it when I was 5-ish and by then it was 2010. so stuff was getting there but I remember him watching it when it was at halo 2 graphics but that aside. I have to live with the fact that my family likes rvb, and that’s cool.

but I’m sat here with all my gay head cannons and I have to RIVE AND SQUIRM because I want to info dump SO BAD about All the gay fanart, head cannons and my beef with certain parts. but my fam stopped watching after season 13 AT MOST I think they really stopped after the freelancer stuff but I’m sat here having watched all of it except season 18 cause I watched clips and the first ep and I swear 💀. so I have this show as my hyper fixation and I can’t TALK ABOUT IT. especially sense I live so close to rooster teeth and everyone knowing about this shit. and it’s TEXAS and if I talk about it with someone they’ll be like oh your ruining good media 😒and I’m like, I DONT CARE let me talk about my gay homos and autistic headcannons IM NOT CALLING IT CANNON COME ON DUDE. I’m so sad cause those I know either don’t know it or aren’t gay (or supportive of ze homos) so are like 😒 to my headcannons and it makes me so sad :[ I just want to self project in peace man why can’t I talk to people about it 🥲

especially sense I love Simmons so much and those who know rvb don’t like red team and I’m like 🥲

#confession #rvb #gotta get yourself a good discord server to info dump to anon #swear by it

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tweedlydumbtweedlydoo · 4 years ago

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Not Perfect (JJ Maybank x reader) pt. 1

Summary: JJ Maybank is the one who makes sure your kook lawn is immaculate. Your family may look perfect just like the lawn from someone looking from the outside in, but it turns out you and JJ have more in common than you thought.

A/N: Well, here is part 1 of the new JJ Maybank series! I hope you guys like it. I’m not sure how many parts this will have. Probably only 3, but we’ll see how it goes.

!!warning: This story talks about abuse through out, so if that’s triggering please don’t read. This is strictly fiction.

Tag list is at the end. Let me know if you want to be added xx

**MASTERLIST**

Requests: OPEN {CLOSED}

I am currently taking requests for:

The Vampire Diaries/The Originals

Elijah Mikaelson

Damon Salvatore

Criminal Minds:

Spencer Reid

Derek Morgan

Supernatural (I’m only up to season 2, so please don’t request something with spoilers)**

Sam Winchester

Dean Winchester

Outer Banks (Netflix):

John B Routledge

JJ Maybank

Rafe Cameron

********************************************************************************************NOT MY GIF, CREDIT TO OWNERS

You step out onto your front porch, a glass of lemonade in your hand. Taking a sip you watched as JJ pushed the mower across the front lawn. He was early this morning. He’d discarded his shirt and you could see the beats of sweat along his back, along with the muscles work. He was handsome, no doubt about that.

Stepping back inside before he saw you, you went and grabbed a cold-water bottle from the fridge and headed back out. “Hey!” You called out as you walked to JJ through the fresh cut grass.

He turned around and then bent down to turn off the mower, “Hey. Everything okay?”

You nod, holding a water bottle to him, “You need to stay hydrated.”

He takes it and generously gulps it down, “Thank you.” He can’t help himself; he lets his eyes wonder down your body. He’d always thought you were beautiful. This was the one house on figure 8 he didn’t mind working out in the heat for. You were always the nicest to him too. He knew you two could never be anything. He was a pogue and you were a kook.

“You’re here early this morning. I almost missed you.” You push your sunglasses over your head.

“Yeah, I got a few more yards to get done today, so I wanted to get an early start.” He wipes the back of his hand over his forehead, leaving a small piece of grass.

“You.. you got a little,” stepping closer your slowly brought your hand to his forehead and grabbed the grass.

He watched as you leaned in, your strawberry shampoo leaving off a fragrance. He could see you had freckles along your cheeks and a small scar over your eyebrow, something he’d never noticed. He’d also never been this close to you. You were close enough he could lean in-

“Y/n!” Your dad yelled.

He’d watched as you jumped at your dad calling your name, your demeanor changing. You jumped back, looking at him and faking a smile, “yes?”

“Your mother needs help on the back porch. Leave the yard boy alone.” He took a sip of whatever was in a glass. JJ wondered if it was alcohol. His dad drank early in the mornings too. Your family was perfect though, nothing like his family.

You turned back around, “Sorry, I gotta go.”

JJ nods, “Yeah, I gotta get back to work.” He stuffs the water bottle in his back pocket, “Thanks for the water.”

You slip your glasses back over your face, nodding, “of course.” You flashed him a smile and headed back to the house. He took a moment to watch you. No one else would have caught it, but he did. He saw it because he does the same thing; the small flinch when your dad put his hand on your shoulder.

JJ took a sip of the red solo cup as he surveyed the beach. It was a Friday night, you were always on the beach for these parties, kook boys following you around like a bunch of lost puppies, but he hadn’t spotted you.

“You looking for someone?” John B asked from next to him.

He takes another sip, “No.”

“He is. He’s looking for y/n.” Kie smirks, sitting on the other side of JJ.

“The girl you cut grass for?” Pope asks.

“She’s just usually here.” JJ shrugs, standing.

“Maybe she has other plans than party on the beach like we all do.” Kie says, “I mean she’s a kook. Her family probably took their private jet to the Bahamas for the weekend or something.”

“Her family is literally the definition of perfect.” Pope adds, “I deliver groceries there every Tuesday and I don’t think I’ve ever seen any dirt in their house. I mean the place is spotless. Same with the yard.”

JJ takes another look around the beach, “I don’t know if they’re perfect. No one’s perfect.” He looks at Pope, “Can I tag along Tuesday to help deliver groceries?”

“So, you can see her?” John B smirks, “Dude, you’re so whipped for her.”

JJ rolls his eyes, “No, because I need the extra cash.”

Kie hums, “Sure, JJ. Okay.” She does the whip motion with her hands.

Okay so he did need the extra cash but also because he needed a reason to see you. He wouldn’t be back at your house until Friday to work on the lawn and he wanted to see you before then. There was something not sitting right with him and he wanted to check on you. Obviously, he can’t just show up to your house, so delivering groceries to your house with Pope? Not suspicious at all.

“I got this, Pope.” JJ says, grabbing the groceries and stepping off the dock.

Pope nods, sitting down, “Good, cause I could use a break.”

JJ heads up the dock to the house, glancing around. The yard was perfect. Nothing was out of place. Maybe he just did a good job? Even after the rainstorm last night, you’d think there would be some debris from the trees, but there was nothing. He steps up on the front porch and knocks.

You slip down the stairs, wrapped in a blanket, but your dad beats you to the door. When he opens it, it’s JJ standing there with groceries. “Delivery.” JJ holds the groceries up.

Your dad nods, opening the door, “Just set it in the kitchen.”

He glances at you as he walks by. He wonders if you’d been crying. He could see your face was splotchy and red.

“I’ll take him to the kitchen.” You say to your dad, who waves you off before stepping back into another room and closing the door. You motion for JJ to follow you, “Pope okay today?”

“Huh?” He asks, following you.

“Pope. He’s usually the one who delivers the groceries. Is he okay?” You motion to the island, “you can just set them there.”

“Oh yeah.” He sets the groceries on the island, “I needed the extra cash is all. So, I tagged along.”

You nod, “Tell him I said hey.” You look through the fridge, grabbing two coconut waters, “And give him one of these. He likes them.”

“Coconut water?” JJ asks, raising an eyebrow at you.

You laugh a little nodding, “I keep it around for Pope when he delivers. He likes them.”

JJ shakes his head, “Pope likes coconut water.” He chuckles, “Alright I’ll give him one.” He starts to step away from you but turns back around, “You weren’t at the boneyard Friday night.”

“Keeping tabs on me, Maybank?” You smirk, raising an eyebrow.

JJ blushes, “I just..”

You laugh, putting a hand on his arm, “It’s okay. I um.. I had something come up.” You slip a piece of hair behind your ear.

“Oh. Okay… well I better get going.”

“See you on Friday?” You ask, following him to the door.

He opens it and turns to you, “Bright and early Friday morning.” He smiles and you return the smile, “Bye JJ.” Your voice is soft, almost like it would burst into tears.

He didn’t want to leave but he pushed himself out the door, “Bye y/n.” and stepped off the porch. Pope was right, the house was perfect and clean. Too perfect. I mean there wasn’t anything out of place. As he makes his way back to the dock, he takes one last glance at the house to see your dad standing at the window, watching him.

Obx taglist: @emmalvei-blog , @tregua-oca , @weirdbiwitch , @losers-club6 , @treestarrrrrrrr , @omgwhattheeven , @normatural , @lreincarnationl , @laurenron , @junkiemuppettxx , @beth-winchester21 , @divcrdown , @timotaychalabae , @moose-squirrel-asstiel , @tangledinsparkles , @prejudic3 , @lanarichards5 @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch , @fratboystark , @nas-marie-loves-u , @sunwardsss , @annedub , @jellyfishbeansontoast , @turtlee-says-rawr, @fanficscuziranout , @wellthathappened2 , @write-from-the-heart , @louisolos , @outrbank , @sunset-d-rive , @family-buisnes

*if your name is crossed out, tumblr is being stupid and won’t let me tag you :(

All my works tag list: @blossomreed

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fourteenfifteen · 3 years ago

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elfcommie for the domestic meme

yesssssssss my GUYS!!!!! readmore bc i wrote u a novel

big spoon/little spoon: ike big spoon. what is the point of big husband if not get him to hold u

favorite non-sexual activity: getting out of the city together when they can : ) day trips and things

who uses all the hot water: they’re only using it all up if they’re in there together HEY-OH

most trivial thing they fight over: buying things from shitty companies. look obv the main chocolate companies are awful but sometimes a man wants a package of m&ms ok

who does most of the cleaning: they’re both pretty neat but probs caleb since ike is more likely to straight up just get busy and forget abt it (he feels bad when he does)

what has a season pass on their dvr/who controls the netflix queue: mostly caleb since ike isn’t usually a tv guy. when they occasionally make him pick it always ends up being something weird like they end up watching the sound of music

who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: 100000% ike are u kidding. doesn’t help that i’m sure he knows a lot of the trade workers in the city shdjfk

who leaves their stuff around: caleb is more likely to in general but ike def leaves like half-read books and magazines around

who remembers to buy the milk: both of them. grocery game unmatched

who remembers anniversaries: also both of them!! caleb cares abt that kind of thing a lot more tho ike mostly keeps track of it and makes plans just bc he knows they like it

Who cooks normally? ike likes to cook but he doesn’t always make time for it. idt they eat together all the time anyway so usually they just heat up shit for themselves, if they are and aren’t eating out they’re probs cooking together

How often do they fight? they’re pretty good at communicating so not that often, when they do it’s less of a blow out argument and more of a “we can both be stubborn and we’re both frustrated w each other” vibe. and uhhh more often and more seriously after the feedback : )

What do they do when they’re away from each other? damn that’s the question huh shdjfkfks uhhh ike is known to overwork himself and was esp bad about it before they got together and i think he sometimes gets back into that habit when they’re not around. esp when things are stressful like he likes helping people but he also just likes to keep busy. they still try to encourage him to take time away even when they’re not there and when he actually does it’s probably either reading or going for extra long runs or picking up new hobbies or hanging w other people (caleb would claim that helping teammates w odd jobs is not taking a break but again ike likes keeping busy). caleb also hangs out with other people especially lou and rivers when they can. i think they like going out to bars and stuff too and will do that sometimes when ike isn’t with them just bc it’s extremely not his scene shdjfk. they do jock shit too like they practice sword fighting (tbh they may do more cardio without ike than w him. runs remind them of him now). but they also just! talk a lot. i really think they talk on the phone or face time pretty much every day unless something is happening that keeps them from doing so

Nicknames for each other? ok this is a thing ppl point out in my writing abt them but!! ike is always calling caleb baby like 9 times out of 10 is saying that instead of their actual name. caleb mostly calls him by his name but will sometimes call him like. affectionate teasing insults lol camp has discussed “pinche isaac ❤️” before

Who is more likely to pay for dinner? ike but at this point like i do think they share a bank acct shdjfkf

What would they get each other for gifts? caleb gets ike things that he wouldn’t buy for himself yk like things that are a little fancy or a luxury that he’d rationalize himself into not spending the money on. not literally a stand mixer but that sort of thing. idt ike is a good gift giver shdjfkf he gets them what they asked for/what lou or rivers suggests (or the gift is just like. we’re going away for the weekend! fancy dinner!! that kind of thing)

Who kissed who first? ike kissed caleb first. the man has game

Who made the first move? i’ve gestured at this before but !! i think ike tries to start smth very casual w them sometime in s10 and then gets rejected bc caleb has actual serious feelings for him and is freaked out about that and also the bloodsport of it all. anyways so that puts caleb in the driver’s seat so to speak when they actually do get together ike wasn’t gonna raise the subject again so they had to

Who remembers things? ike’s pretty organized but also things slip through the cracks so caleb

Who started the relationship? cleb : ) they pined a little it’s fine

Who cusses more? caleb does but ike has his moments

What would they do if the other was hurt? ike can and will work himself into a frenzy trying to take care of his injured husband. caleb is more normal about it but def like wants to make sure he’s doing alright and help out however they can

#shame that my ike s24 wip has never turned itself into anything shdjfk #i know what he’s doing i just haven’t done the thing yet lol #thank u hayden i love them?? if anyone hasn’t noticed #blaseball #chicago firefighters #ask tag #domesticity meme

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riveliciousx · 2 years ago

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poor Hanazawa can't keep the hair on top of his head

#Mob Psycho 100 #Rive watches stuff

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klvbxlove · 3 years ago

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finally (chie x american! gn! reader)

a/n: i’ve got another persona 4 drabble. this time it’s dedicated to another cousin of mine, matt. i hope you like this, i lowkey had fun writing it! i think it’s now the longest drabble i’ve written so far (it has, i think, 400 more words than my yosuke one, damn). i do plan on writing a rise drabble for my other cousin, chuck, soon, but i also kinda wanna write a kanji drabble. idk which one to start off with, so i’ll see what my mind decides. but anyways, enjoy this drabble! :)

reader type: gender neutral

reader specification(s): reader is from america and is also a bit flirty LOL

genre(s): fluff, romance

trigger warning(s): none

summary: as much as chie loved being with you, she was saddened by the fact that you lived in america, which is far away from japan. however, one day you give her a surprise, one that she wasn’t expecting at ALL

word count: 2.9k words

♡ ♡ ♡ (ꈍᴗꈍ)ε｀*) ♡ ♡ ♡

key:

(e/c) = eye color (f/a) = favorite anime (f/c) = favorite color (n/n) = nickname (y/n) = your name

♡ ♡ ♡ (ꈍᴗꈍ)ε｀*) ♡ ♡ ♡

It started with Chie meeting you online after finding out you were a fan of (F/A), an anime series she had recently started watching. Having been in love with it for years, you were glad to find someone else (regardless of whether you met them online or in real life) who also loved it as much.

Then it slowly progressed into the both of you talking about everything besides (F/A) almost constantly. Every day, whenever you woke up, whenever you were waiting for school to start, whenever you were about to go to bed. Hell, even when you were out with your friends, the both of you found ways to text each other! Also, both of you may or may not have stayed up on school nights to continue the conversations.

Conflicted feelings eventually showed up at the front door months later, when the both of you realized you had crushes on each other but had no idea how to bring it up. Neither of you originally wanted to confess in fear that you would be rejected, and the friendship would end up tensing up (cliché, I know). But ultimately, the two of you got over that fear and eventually ended up in a relationship.

And that is where the two of you are at now.

Now, here was the thing. It was not as if there were any major problems throughout your and Chie’s relationship. It was quite healthy, to say the least!

So what was wrong?

Chie lived in Japan, and you lived in America.

Those were different countries and two different continents.

Even before entering a relationship, the two of you initially had some difficulty having the time to chat with each other due to the huge time zones. It was especially hard since both of you were high school students who had to focus on their education. Although like troopers, the both of you managed to deal with the time difference and found time to talk.

And of course, Chie could not forget to mention this was not only her first relationship but her first long-distance relationship. It sucked not being able to see you every day (not including face-time calls. Sure, she has seen your face, but not in real life). Chie was not one to constantly watch couples. However, when she did, she could not help the slight jealousy in her eyes. She had no idea if she would ever get the chance to get a ticket to America or vice-versa.

All Chie could do, whenever she missed you badly, was to sulk. There was no other way to do it. Was it healthy? Probably not. How was she supposed to help herself? But then again, it was not her fault she had been raised in Japan her entire life. Same as you, you have been in America for a while now. And the both of you certainly could not help the fact that you were miles away from each other.

Of course, that was not enough to stop Chie from being sad about it from time to time. She had a feeling she would not see you anytime soon.

The short brown-haired female found herself sitting alone on the bench, scrolling through her phone. Out of everyone in the Investigation Team, Chie was the only one who did not feel like going to the restroom. So she insisted on waiting for them outside. Although, that was not the only reason. She did not want any of them catching her reading her text messages with you and questioning why she was smiling.

But then Chie remembered one time Yosuke had caught her doing that. Yeah, he was the first (and unfortunate) person. As he had continued to tease her, she eventually got irritated and took out that irritation by kicking Yosuke right in his scrotum area. (**)

Oh God, she just had to bite the inside of her cheek. She was already seeing him riving in pain on the ground as he held the affected area and the rest of their friend group looked on in either confusion or concern. Hmph, served him right!

Scrolling up towards the older texts, Chie was reading a conversation she had with you. It was about how you wanted to visit her in Inaba and explore the town.

Chie: I mean, of course, I’m down to you coming here and meeting me. But let me warn you, Inaba is a bit boring. I don’t think you could even compare it to other places like Tokyo or Osaka.

(Y/N): Babe, I don’t mind at all! And besides, you know I’m willing to visit any part of Japan, not just Tokyo. I’m like head over heels with Japan at this point BWAHAHAHA

Chie: I think everyone knows. But knowing you, I think you would especially want to go to Akihabara.

(Y/N): Hey, stop calling me out!

Chie: You know it’s true (N/N). Eh, not that I blame you. They got cool stuff there. It would be nice to visit sometime.

(Y/N): For sure! We should go together, too ;)

Jeez, even reading old texts you sent Chie always managed to make her blush! Although they were not the only reasons for her blushing, besides your flirtatious remarks. On a few occasions, you would poke fun at her (Not in a way to make her upset, of course). You were lucky that Chie considered you more tolerable compared to Yosuke.

She could already imagine herself not bothered by you teasing her about something like how Yosuke did. And when Yosuke would see, he would ask, “Oh, so (Y/N) can tease you, but I can’t?! WHERE’S THE LOGIC IN THAT, CHIE?!”

Oh, wait. Chie looked up. Now that she realized, she had not told anyone in the Investigation Team about her relationship with you. No, it was not because she was ashamed. Well, it was more of the fact that she did not have a logical explanation.

Was it because she could not find the time to tell everyone? Maybe.

Or was it because she knew that some of them might not even believe her?

Looking up from her phone, the brown-haired girl saw everyone else heading in her direction. As she stood up, placed her phone in the back pocket of her shirts, and followed the rest of the team, she thought, ‘There will be a day where I can introduce (Y/N) to everyone. One day. And I’ll be sure to do it!’

INCOMING CALL: (Y/N)

Chie immediately sat up from her bed at the sudden sound ringing. Her first instincts were to assume someone had broken into her room. However, those instincts vanished when she looked over at her nightstand and saw that it was her phone making that sound. When Chie looked at the screen, her eyes lightened in excitement upon seeing what it read.

“(Y/N)!” She said after picking up the phone.

“Hey, Chie,” you answered over the line. Said girl could never get tired of hearing your voice. “How’s my favorite girl doing?”

Chie could feel the blood rushing towards her cheeks again. You were not one to call her many pet names. But when it comes to you referring to her as “your girl”? Do you even realize the effect you have on her?! She was lucky she was not like this when she was sneakily texting you next to the Investigation Team!

“I--” she cleared her throat, “--I’m good, thanks!”

You chuckled over the phone. “You know, for a sec it sounded like you were getting flustered again. Don’t hide it, Chie. I know you sometimes clear your throat when I see those cute cheeks turn pink!”

“H-Hey, shut up!” Chie retorted. If this was an anime, she was sure she would have had a tick mark above her head. “Why do you always tease me whenever I blush? I don’t get it, (Y/N),”

“It’s ‘cause you’re so cute, baby.”

‘STOP. OH MY GOD, PLEASE!’

It wasn’t exactly helping that Chie had made some weird sound at what you had said. And it wasn’t any better by the fact that she heard you snickering. “Jeez, if you were an anime character, even though you don’t act like one, you would surely be a tsundere!”

“(Y/N),” Chie gritted her teeth. To hide her flustered form, she acted as if she was angry. “I swear to God I will...get back for you one day.”

“Get back? Hmm? If I didn’t know any better, I thought you were going to say, ‘I will kick your ass.’ Is my girl getting too flustered now? How cute.”

“Grrr, (Y/N)...” Damn it, Chie wanted to fight back against you. Sometimes (or more like, a majority of the time), you were way TOO MUCH to handle! You knew how to get her going, that was for sure.

“Alright, enough about that,” you spoke up, the teasing tone in your voice already gone. “I wanted to call you ‘cause I got a surprise!”

At that, Chie’s eyes lit up in slight interest. “A surprise?”

“Yep! I’ve been planning it for a few months so I can get it right. And now I think it’s the perfect opportunity to give it to you!”

The surprise was more intriguing than learning about a new steak meal at Junes and practically drooling over how it would taste. Chie could not hold back her excitement anymore. “What is it, (Y/N)?!”

“Ah, ah, ah! I can’t tell you what it is. You’ll have to find out for yourself, babe.” you snickered.

“Oh, come on!” Chie grumbled. “You know I can’t do that. You’ve gotta at least give me a hint! Just one hint!

“Well, how about this,” you suggested. “Just open your front door, and you’ll see it right then and there.”

Okay, that was a bit suspicious. Chie raised her eyebrow. It was not as if she had little to no faith in you when it came to surprises. Coming outside to the front door, though? Just what were you planning? “Are you sure?” she asked. “You’re kinda weirding me out,”

“Just trust me on this!” you said. “I’m not trying to do anything creepy, I promise. Come on, Chie. Just open your front door.”

“Fine,” the short brown-haired female gave in, sitting up from her bed and exciting her bedroom. Maybe Chie was feeling a bit too doubtful about this. For all she knew, you must have sent her something like an anime figurine of her favorite character. Or even better, maybe you ordered her some food and had it sent to her front door!

“Okay, I’m at the front door,” Chie spoke over the phone as soon as she arrived. With her free hand, she unlocked the handle before fully opening it.

And what did she see? Just someone wearing a (F/C) shirt (Chie was sure that was your favorite) and carrying a backpack. In one of their hands was a suitcase, and they had a smile on their face.

Chie was extremely confused. Did she invite someone to come over to her house for a sleepover? She did not remember, nor did she think she ever did. She highly doubted that this was the surprise you were mentioning.

A few seconds of silence passed before the person snickered. “What’s with the confused look?” they asked. Their voice sounded so familiar, but who was it? “Oh, come on. Don’t tell me you don’t recognize your s/o! You’re breaking my heart over here, Chie!”

Wait a minute.

Wait a Goddamn minute.

That voice.

That familiar smile.

Her eyes widened.

There was no way. Was this real? Was she dreaming? If so, someone needs to knock her out right now!

And she meant RIGHT NOW!

Chie almost dropped her phone on the floor. “(Y-Y/N)?” she spoke up.

Their smile-- no, your smile grew a bit. “Yep, that’s me!” you nodded. “Live in the flesh, and not just some photo on a screen.”

‘So it was you, holy shit!’

Chie could not believe it. Her mind was feeling so many things. One part of her accepted the fact that this was real. But the other part of her was in disbelief. Chie had no idea what to do at this point. Besides, she already knew she must have looked foolish right now, and you were there to see it in real life.

And then the tears came.

Chie could no longer control herself. She practically jumped out towards you and wrapped her arms around you. She almost knocked you to the ground, but luckily you only stumbled backward a bit before balancing yourself. “Y-You finally came!” she sobbed into your chest. “You’re real! You’re right here, oh my God! I-I’m not dreaming, right?! Please tell me I’m not!!”

Meanwhile, your heart felt like it was being pulled on tug strings watching your girlfriend cry out of happiness. You wrapped your arms around her waist to complete the hug and rubbed her back soothingly. “You’re not dreaming, darling,” you reassured Chie, “I’m right here. After many, many months, I’m right here.”

Chie pulled away for a bit, wiping her tears with the sleeves of her sweater before looking up at you with a tear-stained smile. “I never thought the day would come when I get to see you right in front of me,” she said, “I thought it wouldn’t even be possible, either! You’re here, at my house. Speaking of which--”

Then the realization hit her, “--How did you even get my address? Because I don’t think I ever gave it to you after months of knowing you.”

“Well,” you scratched the back of your head sheepishly. You were somewhat scared that Chie was going to question it, but now she did.

“Please don’t kill me when I say this. But I talked to one of your friends, Yosuke, and I told him about my relationship with you. After a while, I tried to bring up the suggestion of wanting to visit you after I realized I have a chance of going to Japan. Then he gave me your address, and I kept it. Then as soon as I arrived in Inaba, I went to your house. I know that sounds so creepy. I’m sorry!”

Chie would have kicked Yosuke’s ass (literally) if he ever did something like that. She would never approve of him giving any stranger her address, especially without her permission. And she would have kicked your ass for coming to her house as well. Chie would want you to consider yourself lucky since she understood where her friend was coming from, so there was no anger in her body.

Oh yeah, and it seems like Yosuke already knows about you and Chie. He better not have told anyone else on the Investigation Team. She was planning to do it very soon.

“Don’t worry, I get it,” she said. “If getting my address from one of my friends meant that you got to see me, then I don’t mind at all!”

You were expecting Chie to yell at you about how creepy that was. After being shocked at her calm reaction for a while, the feeling disappeared, and you smiled, patting her head. “Thanks, babe. I appreciate it.

“Oh, and by the way,” Chie spoke up. “Now that you’re here and not just on a screen, I’d like to do one thing with you.

Puzzled, you tilted your head. “What is it?”

A smirk appeared on her face. “I want to kiss you!”

Your eyes widened a bit. Now it was your turn to feel flustered (you could already feel it in your cheeks). You were not opposed to the matter, as you could understand why Chie would want to do it. You had no idea why you were feeling nervous in the first place. You cleared your throat. “Well, alright. I don’t mind,” you smiled.

“Oh wow, you’re getting flustered now, aren’t you? I guess this is karma for all the times you’ve made me flustered.” Chie snickered.

You sighed. Somehow you had a feeling that your girlfriend would say something like that. But you decided to brush that aside for now.

Rewrapping your arms around her waist, you slowly inched towards her face. Both of your eyes closed at the same time as she placed her hands on your shoulders. It almost felt like an eternity for the moment to finally happen.

And then, the moment happened. Your lips connected into a kiss.

You instantly realized how soft her lips were, and you had to admit it felt amazing. You almost considered not pulling away for a while. Both of you did not want this to escalate into some steamy make out session, so you kept it slow. But there was a feeling of love and passion in it. You could feel the bliss coming into the atmosphere.

Seconds passed, and both you and Chie pulled away. You smiled. “God, do you know how long I wanted to do that?” you asked softly, caressing her cheek.

“I could ask you the same thing, (Y/N),” Chie answered. “I waited for so long, and I thought it would never happen in a few years. But now it has, and I’m so happy.” She rested her head against your chest to feel your heartbeat. “Thank you. Thank you for coming here,”

“Of course, Chie,” you whispered, running your fingers through her hair.

At this point, you would have asked if Chie would let you inside her house. But you did not care about that right now. All you were thinking of was hugging Chie and never letting go. You were almost tearing up just thinking of the fact that you had been in a relationship with Chie over a long distance for months. It had been months where you two could not even have your first kiss or any affection.

And here you are now. Hey, you (unfortunately) might not be in Japan for too long, but it was better than not visiting at all. As long as you were able to spend every single second with your girlfriend, you were as happy as they could be.

(**) lowkey feel bad about hurting yosuke like this, but i felt like i just had to LMAO

#persona 4 #persona #persona 4 x reader #persona 4 imagines #persona imagines #chie satonaka #fanfiction #persona 4 golden #p4g #chie satonaka x reader #oneshot #gn reader #x reader #kristin's writings

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httphopewrld · 5 years ago

Text

control me (pt. 2) | (f/m)

↳ part of the ‘lyrics series’

Jimin was just a guy who modeled for your art class, and someone you found attractive, nothing else. You didn’t think anything would evolve from that. But then you asked him to model for your practice sketches, causing you to see him more. That feeling towards him became more apparent as you realized he occupied your thoughts. But there’ll never be anything between us. You convinced yourself. However, that changed when Jimin asked, “What am I to you?” Maybe there was more to your relationship than you realized.

[p.1]

Pairing: model!jimin x reader

Genre: fluff, smut, and angst

Rating: 16+ because there’s some smuuuuuutttt and swearing

Warnings: smut, foul language, dom/sub!jimin, dom/sub!reader, oral (fem receiving), protected sex, fingering, thigh riding, handjob (kinda), dirty talk, body praising, self-doubt (discouraging one’s looks compared to others), pretty soft sex? Nothing too rough, I think, but it’s detailed.

Word Count: 9k+

A/N: it’s a lot more words compared to pt.1, but I thought that it would better to just give you guys the whole thing instead of making you guys wait any longer. I hope you guys enjoy!

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

The nosiness of the café bothers you. Sure, it’s a public place, where people can choose their own volume of speech; but boy did it grind your gears when people spoke above a comfortable tone.

Despite the cozy warmth of the café, the cold found its ways underneath the wool sleeves of your sweater. You put your coat back on and sat back in your seat.

He said he’d be on time, but you didn’t want to count on it. He was busy, probably, modeling for other students in your human anatomy class. It was the middle of the week, so what else did you expect? He barely knew you, yet he was your “knight in shining armour” on that fateful night.

About a few days after his rescuing, you called to meet him at a café. To pay him back, you’d buy him any beverage and pastry he wanted, and hopefully, amuse him with your social skills. However, you’d be kidding yourself if you weren’t absolutely horrified to talk to him and were about to pee yourself because you were currently waiting in a pool of anxiety and self-doubt.

If only talking to astonishingly attractive people wasn’t complete social suicide, things wouldn’t be so scary. And if Rachel hadn’t pressured you to go out for coffee with him.

You felt your leg jittering underneath the table, and your bottom lip in your teeth. God, I wish he’d be on time.

As if on cue, Jimin jogged into the café, chest rising and falling rapidly. When his eyes connected with yours, his whole body seemed relieved.

He sped-walked to your table, taking off his jacket and running a hand through his dirty blonde hair.

“I’m sorry that I’m late. There was traffic, and the bus didn’t arrive on time,” he sat down with a tired exhale.

“You took the bus? Where did you come from?”

“I had a model casting across town. Didn’t get anything though.” He pouted briefly before gently smiling. “I’m sorry for being late.”

“Don’t worry about it.” You chuckled, finding his numerous apologies adorable.

A quick pause in your conversation made you rive with panic.

“Oh, what do you want to drink? It’s cold outside and you appear to have run for a bit.” You gestured towards the chalk menu to your right.

He read the menu before asking, “could I actually get an iced americano and a croissant?”

“Sure,” you replied as you got up from your seat.

You went up to the cashier and ordered your drinks. As you waited for them, you scanned the crowded café. Some were seated on tables or in the leather couches. Others appeared to only be using the space as shelter from the weather as they sent out a quick text or call.

You realized that your gaze always fell back on Jimin as you observed the café. It rested on his clenched jawline as he read something off his phone, and how his leg shook with, what you assumed was anxiousness.

Maybe he was nervous too? You wondered as your name was called.

You picked up the tray with your pastries and drinks and carefully walked back to your table.

Jimin’s eyes lit up when you set the tray down on the table. He grabbed his iced-americano and took a couple of desperate gulps.

You watched in amazement as you put his croissant, your muffin and hot chocolate, and extra water on the table. When you can back from returning the tray back to the main counter, he had finished his drink and was half-way through his croissant.

“I think you can breath, now,” you chuckled as he let out an embarrassed laugh and put down his snack.

“Sorry about that,” he awkwardly smiled.

“Don’t worry about it,” you assured as you sipped your hot chocolate, “you came from a modeling job in the pouring rain. Do what you gotta do.”

He nodded and began eating his croissant again.

It was a few painful beats of silence before you thought of a conversation starter. “What is it like being a model?” You took a small bite of your muffin, “It must be a lot emotionally and physically.”

He leaned his elbows on the table, “Yeah, to be honest. It’s tougher than people realize. It’s a ‘no’-type-of-world, really.” He made air-quotes with his hands.

“But I love it. Most of the time I get gigs that I enjoy, and the other models and staff are supportive and friendly.” Jimin described, smiling.

He took a quick sip of his iced-americano, “Enough about me. You’re doing alright, Y/N? After the whole party?”

You told him about how you didn’t remember much about the night of the party. He helped you fill in the gaps of what you missed. Both of you chatted about yourselves, even sharing dumb things you guys believed as kids.

Despite some brief pauses in your conversation, you both were able to laugh and enjoy each other’s company.

“Oh, how’s your anatomy class going? Last time I was there, you guys were starting a sculpting unit?” He remembered, finishing his croissant.

“It’s going well! A lot of sketching and sculpting on my time.”

“Aaah,” he understood.

You took the last sip of your hot chocolate, “Oh, speaking of the project, could you model for some of my sketches? You seem to be the perfect candidate.”

Jimin feigned an honoured expression, putting a hand to his chest then saluting you. “It would be my pleasure.”

You giggled and cheered, “Awesome! What day would work best for you?”

He took his phone out and scrolled through, what you assumed to be, his calendar. “This Saturday, so in a couple of days?”

You checked your schedule on your phone. To your relief, you were free Saturday. “Sounds great! I think my friend, Rachel, is going out that night, so we’ll have a peaceful apartment for ourselves.”

You felt your phone buzz in your hands. When you glanced down, you saw numerous texts from Rachel appear on your screen.

Rachel [4:30 pm]: hey, Kaleb’s over. He’s crying and he seems drunk. Could you come back to the apartment?

Rachel [4:30 pm]: I can’t handle him alone

Y/N [4:30 pm]: I’m out rn. You can handle Joey. He’s pretty docile when he’s drunk

Rachel [4:31 pm]: could you PLS come? You’re better at the emotional stuff

You looked up at a concern Jimin. He pointed at his own cell, indicating that he was wondering what was happening on your phone that caused your debating expression.

“Rachel is asking me to go back to the apartment because a friend is crying,” you sighed, “she thinks I’m ‘better at the emotional stuff’.”

“You should go,” he suggested, “you seemed quite worried about your friend.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive,” he smiled. “And we’ve been here since two o’clock. I think we’ve had enough of each other.”

You both chuckled as you let Rachel know you were heading back to your apartment.

Jimin gave you a gentle hug before you left and insisted on putting both of your dishes away.

As you exited the café, you couldn’t help but savour the warm that his arms left around your waist when he hugged you. Maybe it was just the feeling of the embrace that made you blush? Or was it because Jimin was the one doing it?

Saturday came quicker than you expected. You weren’t sure if you were excited or nervous to have him over at your apartment, but you knew that your project needed sketches, and you were the only one who could do it for you.

Jimin came over around dinner time, bringing a glass of red merlot and two plastic wine glasses. You had a pre-made pizza heating up in the oven.

You both chatted for a bit before actually starting the sketching process. If it weren’t for Jimin reminding you of why he was at your apartment in the first place, who knows how long you’d two talk for.

Now, you sat on the couch, while Jimin sat on a chair in front of you.

“Tilt your head to the left—you’re left,” you chuckled as you marked the dimensions of Jimin’s face on your sketchbook.

“I’m sorry,” he giggled, “I promise that I am trying.”

You closed your sketchbook and grasped your glass of ruby wine, “Let’s take a break, shall we?”

“Thank you,” he sighed as if he’d been holding his breath for the entire half an hour you were sketching him.

You swallowed the unexpected large gulp of wine you drank, “Oh before I forget, I need to pay you…” You took out your wallet, “…how does thirty-five dollars sound?”

“You don’t need to pay me, Y/N,” Jimin said while taking a sip of his wine, “you’re giving me dinner. That’s more than enough.”

You put the money back in your wallet and shrugged, “Whatever you say.”

He chuckled as the oven chimed, letting you both know the pizza was ready.

“I’ll get that,” you said as while getting off the couch.

As you were slicing up the pizza, Jimin sat at the kitchen island attentively. You handed him a slice, that he took with great pleasure.

“So,” he began with a mouthful of pepperoni, “why sculpting? Not many people do it nowadays.”

You took a bite of your own slice, chewing on the question. “Well, I like studying the human body—” You stopped mid-sentence when you saw his cheeky smirk.

“Hey, get your mind out of the gutter!” You blushed, jokingly punching at him. Your embarrassment made him laugh.

“Anyways,” you resumed, taking a sip of your wine, “I wanted to learn more about the anatomy and workings of the human body, so I could get better at sculpting. Then, I could hopefully teach a class someday.” You waved your glass in the air, “You know, become an art teacher.”

Jimin’s slow clap made you roll your eyes and give a sly smirk.

“Thank you, but you can stop with the patronizing claps.” You bowed, holding up your glass in a makeshift cheer.

When he stopped clapping you took another slice of pizza. “So, Mr. Model, what’s it like being in the industry?”

“Well, when you say it like that, you make it sound like I’m a porn star,” he chuckled while finishing his second slice of pizza.

You chuckled with him, “Your words, not mine.”

Jimin gave you a playful smirk, “You’d be the first one to watch.”

You put your hands up in a mock-surrender, “No comment.”

You both shared a moment of laughter before Jimin let a sigh.

“It’s good. I’ve learned to build up my confidence. It’s tough making friends, but you find the small pockets of gold, I guess.” He rubbed the back of his neck, “It’s a bitch to date though. There’s always someone who’s prettier than you, and they don’t mind letting you know.”

“I feel that,” you held a fist to your chest, “on a spiritual level.”

Jimin laughed at your joke, finishing his glass of wine. You went to refill it, but he covered it with his hand. “I’m all good, thanks.”

You gave a shy grin before putting the bottle down on the counter.

“I’m sorry about the whole relationship thing.” You made brief eye contact with him before continuing, “Maybe you’re just looking in the wrong place?”

“I guess so,” he shrugged, not seeming to want further the subject.

“We should get back to the sketching,” Jimin proposed, getting off the kitchen stool, “you’ll need more for your project, right?”

“Y-yeah,” you agreed, following him back to the living room.

It had been a couple of months since you and Jimin started talking. It had become a regular occurrence for him to come over to your apartment. Sometimes, for the sketches, you needed for your project, but it was usually to chat over wine.

You eventually introduced Jimin to the rest of your friends. Rachel wasn’t shocked that you two got along well; Joey went into ‘dad-mode’ where he sat between you two whenever the opportunity arose; Kaleb and Jimin were the becoming best buds, and Jason was just happy to have another guy around.

Nonetheless, your whole friend group enjoyed Jimin’s company. So much so, that Rachel proposed that Jimin tag-a-long on the group’s ‘Friday Friend Day’; where you guys go out for food, drinks or have a game’s night.

For this ‘Friday Friend Day’, your group was going bowling. You weren’t too sure if Jimin would want to tag along, because you know how competitive Joey and Rachel can be; but he was overjoyed with the invite.

“I can’t believe Rachel and the others couldn’t come with us,” You chuckled while you and Jimin moved to the side to wait for your food, “the McDonald’s is only a block, how hard is it to walk!”

“Well, I think Rachel is still calling Joey a ‘sore winner’ after last game,” Jimin suggested, leaning against the wall.

“He is!”

“We won fair and square! We beat you guys by a mile!” Jimin defended.

“You three boys suggested guys vs. girls, knowing we were way outnumbered.” You retorted, moving a step closer.

“Because girls are tougher than they look, so we thought you and Rachel would’ve knocked us out of the park.”

You looked him up and down before smiling, “Good answer.”

“But you two still lost,” Jimin playfully jabbed.

You jokingly punched him, making him feign a painful expression.

Both of you waited for the takeout, talking about Jimin’s upcoming modeling jobs and how your sculpting project was going.

You could feel butterflies rising from the bottom of your stomach as you two walked back to the bowling place; the paper takeout McDonald’s bag swinging at your side as Jimin reminisced about his childhood.

You felt at utter peace with yourself walking with Jimin by your side. The smell of deep-fried chicken nuggets, and the after taste of Oreos from the McFlurry Jimin fed you every now and then. You watched as steam left his mouth as he talked. Both of you laughed as you two pretended to smoke like two children.

“Hey,” you said, struggling to swallow that mouthful of Oreo McFlurry Jimin just gave you, “I know when we talked about this before, you changed the subject, but—”

You swallowed. “Is it tough dating while being a model?”

His eyes darted between you and the sidewalk in front of both of you. He appeared to still be hesitant about the subject.

Did someone hurt him? You hypothesized. A person on the job? Another model?

“We don’t have to talk—”

“It’s like I said before,” he gentle spoke, “it’s just people are more focused on looks, or who’s the most famous.”

You two stopped at the lights, waiting for the crossing signal to appear.

“I dated this person. They seemed to like me—a lot, actually.” He sighed. “And then I found out that they cheated on me. With a new upcoming model. And I broke up with them.”

The crossing sign beamed brightly, and the chime let you two know to start crossing the intersection.

“So now I’m doing jobs here and there, and sticking to people outside of the modeling industry,” he glanced at you and then smiled, “and look where it’s gotten me. In-in a good way, of course.”

You couldn’t help but smiled as he continued, “And I guess I haven’t found the right person to date.”

You turned your head towards him, “Yet.”

His eyes raced to yours. “Hm?”

“Yet,” you repeated, “You haven’t found the right person to date yet.”

He nodded, “Yeah. I guess so.”

You were pulling an all-nighter at your school’s studio, trying to finalize your sculpture of a head. You would be lying to yourself if you said you weren’t frustrated beyond belief. The proportions looked off, the sculpture was supposed to resemble Jimin but looked nothing like him, and you felt like you were cramming a project that needed more time.

Music blasted through your headphones. Thee familiar burning sensation behind your eyes made you scoff at yourself. A hot tear fell down your cheek, and you used the back of your hand to wipe it.

“Fuck,” you muttered, getting up to wash your hands.

The water and soap against your hands burned slightly, but you didn’t care. The sponge against your skin felt like sandpaper, but you took the pain as if you deserved it. You were mad and ashamed of yourself, for how long it was taking you to even start your sculpture.

The art exhibit, for the sculptures created in Mr. Heinz’s class, was in a month. The pressure was on, and boy could you feel it.

And you weren’t the only one feeling it. You separated yourself from your group slowly to work on your clay model—the one that started off as Jimin’s head but was now a grey mushy pile. Rachel had invited you to ‘Friday Friend Day’ countless times; even saying that she didn’t tell Jimin, because she thought he was the reason why you suddenly ditched the group.

But it wasn’t. It was deeper than that. It was the fact you didn’t feel you could accomplish anything creatively, despite the three-month work timeline Mr. Heinz gave you and the class. No matter how many sketches of Jimin you drew, or the nights you spent molding clay to just destroy it.

You leaned against the counter, facing the grey pile of mush on the table. You wanted to throw the clay against the wall, flip tables, and scream at the top of your lungs. But you just stood there, wiping your hands with paper towels, staring at your ruined sculpture.

You heard your phone chime across the room. You tossed your used paper towels in the rubbish and check your cell.

Jimin [1:06 am]: how tf do you open this door?

Y/N [1:06 am]: ???

Jimin [1:07 am]: the door into the art building? Am I at the wrong place?

Y/N [1:07 am]: what?

Jimin [1:09 am]: I think it’s the art building? There’s a massive mural of a forest on the side?

Y/N [1:10 am]: wtf??! Why are you at my school?

Jimin [1:12 am]: can you just let me in? I’ll explain when I’m out of the cold

You tucked your phone into your back pocket and grabbed Mr. Heinz’s keys to the studio and school doors.

When you reached the front doors, you were surprised to see Jimin waiting with a pizza box and one litre of Sprite. A smile appeared on his face as you approached.

You unlocked and opened the retractable gate with a confused expression and opened the front door. You continued to look confused and laughed in astonishment as you closed the door and the gate.

“Why are you here?” You chuckled and check your phone, “At 1:25 am?”

Jimin followed you back to the studio. “I haven’t seen you for a while.” He admitted. “And I know you like pizza when working.”

“How did you know that I was here?” You asked as you two turned the corner to the studio.

Jimin sighed, as if disappointed in himself, “Rachel told me.”

“She wasn’t supposed to say anything,” you muttered opening the door to the studio.

“What?” Jimin was behind you, pizza and Sprite still in hand.

You made a ‘tsk’ sound. “We can’t have food in the studio, we’ll have to eat in the hallway.”

You pointed to the spot beside the door, “Just wait here while I get some paper towels.”

“Okay,” he said with a mock surrender.

When you came back, Jimin was promptly sitting on the flow with the pizza and soda in front of him. With him looking up at you, for a change, he seemed so-so—soft.

“Here,” you passed Jimin a couple of paper towels and sat down beside him.

You two ate in silence. The only sound was the chewing of pizza, and one of you sipping from the bottle of Sprite. It was like both of you were waiting for someone to start the conversation.

“Why did you stop hanging out with the crew?”

“Excuse me?”

“You,” Jimin finished of his slice of pizza, “stopped coming to ‘Friday Friend Day’ all of sudden and spending all your time here,” he waved his arms in the air, gesturing to the entirety of the art building.

“Well, here,” you mimicked his previous actions, “is where I’m trying to finish my sculpture due next month.”

“I’m sure you’ll get it done—”

“Well, I haven’t so far—”

“I think you just need a break—”

“I don’t have time for a break!” You exclaimed, immediately regretting the volume of your voice.

Jimin took a gulp of the Sprite, leaving a bit for you to finish. He held it out to you, and you gladly took it. Both of you sat in quiet for five minutes. You needed to calm down, and Jimin, seemed, to be thinking something good to say.

“I’m sorry—”

“Don’t be,” Jimin assured.

You nodded, not saying anything. Until now, you could feel his shoulder against yours, and your knee against his thigh. His hands were just close enough for you to reach.

“I’m just stressed about the sculpture,” you sighed as if letting a one hundred pounds off your chest. “And I don’t know if I’m going to get it finished. I haven’t had any progress with what I’ve gotten done—and it always ends up getting tossed out and restarted.”

“I know, it takes time,” he sympathized, turning his body towards you.

“But you don’t know,” you deflected, feeling your eyes burn, “you don’t know what it feels like to not know if you’re going into a dying industry, and not feeling good enough to keep it alive.”

Jimin pursed his lips and tried to speak, but you continued.

“E-Every time I go into that studio—” You stuttered, trying your best to wipe the tears starting to fall down your face. “I get reminded of how much of a failure I am.”

“Hey,” Jimin pulled you into his side, wrapping a hand around your frame.

Your head rested against his chest. You could smell his oaky cologne on his clothes.

“I-I am sorry—” You apologized, feeling guilty and attempted to pull away from him.

“Don’t worry about it,” he soothed, gently nudging you back to rest on his chest, “you don’t have to move.”

You nodded and leaned on Jimin’s shoulder. His arm shifted to your waist.

Jimin wiped one of your tears with the sleeve of his sweater. You lifted your head to face his.

When his eyes met yours, you realized how close he was to you. You couldn’t help but dart your eyes to his lips before looking back at him.

Then, without a second thought, you moved in closer and kissed his lips. You could taste the saltness of your tears and his lip balm.

Jimin seemed to be surprised at first, but then his hand rested gently against the back of your head; pulling your face even closer this his. The kisses turned into a sort of urgency, and you could feel the hot air from each other’s noses on your faces.

When you both pulled away from each other, exchanging heavy breaths, you giggled. Jimin had your lipstick on his swollen lips. You tried to rub some of it off with a swipe of your thumb, but it made no difference.

“Fuck,” Jimin breathed, smirking slightly.

You woke up in the morning, next to Jimin. At first, you gazed at his face as he rested.

When his eyes fluttered awake, you quickly closing your eyes and pretending to be asleep.

You heard him sigh, “Wow, that sucked.”

Your eyes shot open and he laughed, “I knew you were faking it!”

Both you laughed as you slapped his shoulder.

He brought you into a warm embrace, and you two chatted into each other’s arms.

The events of last night were like the after taste of wine in your mind. The way he opened the door and pushed your against it to close it, kissing your lips and chuckling. How he complimented every flaw on your body as he slipped off your clothing.

The feeling of his lips tracing your frame. How he made you cum against his mouth, screaming his name. You could remember the sweet nothings he whispered into your ear as he rolled his hips against yours.

All his movements were tender and gentle as if he was afraid to break you.

The aftercare was the best part, though. While you laid on the bed, exhausted from the supposed ‘third round’, Jimin wiped your core with a damp cloth and heated up the shower for you. In the shower, you two giggled as you gave each other feedback about the sex you two had. Of course, soap got into Jimin’s eye and you suppressed your laughter as he cursed and tried to get the shampoo out of his eyes.

Before getting into bed, he had given you one of his shirts to sleep in. When he saw that the end of his shirt fell midway down your thigh, he smiled. His arms opened up and you excitingly ran into them. You remembered cuddling with him until you both fell asleep to each other’s calm breaths.

Despite this romantic, almost special, the time you spent together, nothing arose from it. After you got ready the next day and left his loft, you both didn’t mention what happened.

Jimin treated you normally and you reciprocated the same attitude.

Rachel knew something was odd, but you didn’t want to talk to her about the sex you and Jimin had. You were private about it and felt like it wasn’t too serious. You didn’t want to create drama within your friend group, and just wanted things to be back to what they were.

You and your friend group still hung out on Fridays, and you and Jimin didn’t ignore each other. However, whenever the opportunity of completing your figure came about, you took it.

Eventually, you finished your sculpture for the art exhibit. It was a flexed torso, slightly bent forward to show the spine restricting against the back’s skin. When you were sanding it, you realized it was Jimin’s torso that you had subconsciously sculptured.

From memory, and feeling, you had recreated his torso through clay. As you set it on the cart to be taking to the show, you deeply hoped that no one would recognize it was his; and that he wouldn’t point it out.

“You didn’t have to come over, Rach,” you sighed, opening the door to see Rachel with a bottle of red wine.

Rachel rolled her eyes, “Of course I would come over. You need all the support you can get.” She walked in and took off her heels.

She wore a white suit with matching shoes. Under the suit jacket was only a vest, which plunged to about enough to show off her breast. Her hair was put into a slick ponytail, which swung as she strutted to your kitchen and opened the bottle of wine.

“So, where’s the dress?” Rachel asked while pouring two glasses of wine.

You scratched the back of your neck, “I don’t know, Rach, I’m not one for tight dresses…”

Rachel shook her head. “Just put on the dress and the shoes and come back out here.”

“Okay,” you sighed, retreating to your bedroom.

The dress was a dark raven, with off the shoulder sleeves and a figure-fitting silhouette. The neckline plunged to the tops of your breasts. You wore gold jewelry, matching black stilettos, and a clutch. Your hair was pinned back by two clips on the sides of your forehead.

When you came out of your room, Rachel hollered. You blushed as you gave a little twirl for her, holding your arms out like a ‘T’. She whistled as you walked towards her.

She held out your glass of wine. “That deserves a cheers.”

You grasped the glass and clinked it against hers. “Cheers, Rach.”

You two downed your red liquor, winced because you’re not supposed to drink wine in one go, and headed to the art exhibit like the stunning women you two were.

The exhibit was filled with students and guests. Everyone was dressed formally, with girls wearing striking dresses and boys in tuxedos. Everyone was sipping on non-alcoholic beverages and bite-sized snacks while observing the beautiful works by talented students.

Rachel was a sculpture of her head with snacks coming out of it.

“Medusa?” You asked, pleased.

She nodded and fist-bumped you. “Yes! You like it?”

“I love it,” you replied, finishing off your mini cucumber sandwich.

Joey, Kaleb, and Jason came to support you and Rachel, in black tuxedos. They were surprised by how well your sculptures turned out.

Joy, the ‘dad’ of the group, pointed out the torso you sculpted.

“Who’s that?”

You looked at him confused. “Hm?”

“The torso.” He leaned closer to the sculpture, crossing the barrier around it with his head.

“That ain’t mine,” He looked at Kaleb and Jason, “and definitely not theirs. None of us have defined washboard abs…”

Joey’s expression turned into one of horror, “Who did you fuck?!”

You shushed him, covering his mouth with your hand. His eyes were wide as if he just walked on his child.

“None of your business!” You hissed, looking around at the faces who gave both of you judgemental looks.

“Y/N—”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” You snapped, walking away from Joey and heading to the snack bar.

You took some small sandwiches and stood in a corner somewhere, far away from the crowd of people in the exhibit. You could hear your heavy breaths as you shoved the sandwiches into your mouth, trying to calm yourself down and forget about the night you had with Jimin.

It shouldn’t be such a big deal for you. You had nothing established with Jimin. You liked him, that was for sure, but nothing could’ve escalated from that. The two of you were friends and would stay like that.

But you couldn’t help but think of how needy his kisses were. Like, as if he had been waiting for you to kiss him, to make a move. How happy he seemed the morning after. You couldn’t fake the affection you two exchanged.

You looked up at the ceiling, thinking of how ridiculous you must’ve looked alone in the corner stuffing your mouth with mini cucumber sandwiches.

“I think you can breathe, now,”

You turned around to see Jimin with his hands in his suit’s pockets. His hair was parted on the side, effortlessly voluminous and stylish. He had a dangling earring in his right and a stud in his left. He looked luxurious. And you were slightly annoyed.

You swallowed your mouthful, “You look great.”

“I would say the same for you, but I think that would be an understatement.” He approached you and appeared to look you up and down briefly.

You looked at the sandwich in your hand. “You want the last one?”

He shrugged, “Sure.”

As he ate the sandwich in one bite, you wiped the crumbs off your mouth and reapplied your lipstick.

Jimin dusted the crumbs off his hands and held out his arm. “M’lady?”

You blushed and took his arm.

You showed him the art in the exhibit, giving little details about the students who had created the sculptures. Jimin seemed to be taking it all in, nodding and stepping closer to look at the art.

It felt normal. You two chatted normally, like before. But you’d be lying if everyone ounce of your body wanted to scream at him and ask why nothing happened after that morning.

Don’t create drama. You ordered yourself. He probably doesn’t want to talk about it anyways.

“Is that-?” Jimin pointed at your sculpture. “Me?”

You chuckled and rubbed the back of your neck. “Y-yeah.”

He stayed silent, and you jumped to fill it.

“I-I should’ve probably asked you about it, to be honest. It’s probably not the best to sculpt someone’s bare torso and display it in front of the public—”

“It’s amazing,” he awed.

You looked at him ins shock, the thought of him being stunned by your work suddenly washed away the thought and anger towards that night.

“Thank you,” you smiled, “that actually means more than you realize.”

You two smiled at each other for a moment, drinking in each other’s faces.

“I know we haven’t talked about that night,” he began.

The rest of his sentence was muffled by the rushing back of irritation and hurt from before. The self-doubt and realization of the difference between you two.

“I’m going to get Rachel,” you started walking away, but he grabbed your arm.

“Why?”

You looked at his grip on your arm and then at his face. “S-so she could show you her sculpture.”

You ripped your arm out of his grasp and walked towards Rachel, leaving Jimin confused.

When you approached Rachel, who was chatting with Joey, she looked concerned. “Y/N? What’s up?”

“I ate too many of those sandwiches, I’m feeling sick.”

Her face grew more worried. “Oh my God, do you need us to come back with you?”

You shoed that idea with your hand, “It’s alright. Stay here,” you feigned a convincing smile, “you deserve it! Your sculpture is amazing.”

She rubbed your arm sympathetically. “Thank you, Y/N. Are you sure, though?”

“One hundred percent.”

“Are you sure, sure Y/N?” Joey interjected, his eyes examining your face for any sign of you lying.

You rolled your eyes and playfully pushed his shoulder, “Yes, father. I’m fine.”

He pouted at your response, “I’m not your father.”

“Then stop acting like it,” you giggled, walking away and out of the exhibit.

You took the bus home, holding back tears of frustration towards yourself and Jimin.

To be honest, you didn’t know why you really wanted to cry or why you were mad at Jimin anymore. Maybe you were madder at yourself, at this point?

When you opened your front door, the tear burst from your eyes and sobs stormed out of your mouth in desperate cries of pain. As you leaned against the door, you felt your body struggle to gain propositional breaths and the taste of salt from your tears in your mouth.

You threw your clutch against the closet across from you and took off your stilettos. You didn’t care if the neighbours heard your frustrated screams and sobs. It had been forever since you cried your frustration and exhaustion out of your body.

You felt the cold tile against your feet as you walked to the bathroom to take off your makeup. You looked at yourself in the mirror, ashamed to see your mascara running down your face and mixing with your satin lipstick. It looked like someone had dumped a bucket of water on your face.

Your limbs felt heavy with sadness as you washed your face of makeup. You hated crying. It made you feel weak and vulnerable. The last thing you wanted was to be the girl who cried about everything.

Before leaving the bathroom you looked into your puffy red eyes using the mirror and gave yourself a peace-sign. You chuckled at yourself. Jesus, I look like a mess.

You changed out of your dress and into a baggy shirt and shorts. Your bed felt like a safe haven around you. Whatever had bothered you felt more like a hum as you wrapped the blankets around your body and quickly sobbed.

You retrieved your laptop from your bedside table and opened Netflix; the solution to all your problems.

In the middle of one of your favourite TV shows, your telephone rang.

The displayed showed that buzzer to the apartment building was paging your apartment. You answered the call, thinking it was Joey checking on you.

“Y/N?” Jimin’s voice echoed on the other end of the line.

Shit.

You sniffled and cleared your throat, “Yeah?”

“Are you okay? You left all of a sudden.” You could hear the genuine worry in his tone.

“I’m fine, don’t worry about me.”

A quick pause, then him making a ‘tsk’ sound. “Is it because of me mentioning the night we had sex?”

You held the bridge of your nose, “Jimin, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Is this why you’ve been upset for the past month?”

An uncomfortable tension sat between you two.

“What am I to you?”

“Jimin—”

“Are we just friends? Are we friends who just have sex? Are we more than friends? Do you want to be more than friends?”

“Jimin, I don’t want to—”

“We need to talk about this, Y/N.” Jimin insisted. “Either through this intercom or in person.”

“I don’t know why we need to talk about this, “ you huffed, sitting up in your bed, “it doesn’t matter.”

“It does!” He suddenly exclaimed. “You’re clearly bothered by it and I want to know why! It may not matter at all to you, but it does to me! So at least give me a moment to ask you what the hell is up and why we didn’t talk about it for a month.”

You stayed silent, stunned by his unexpected outburst.

“Okay,” you meekly replied, pressing ‘one’ on your keypad. The call ended with a loud beep, letting you know that he was allowed into the apartment building.

You two sat across from each other at the dining table, fiddling with the stems of your wine glasses. When you let Jimin, who was still in his tuxedo, into the apartment, you two exchanged quick greetings and you gestured to the table for both of you to sit down and chat.

Now, it was a game of chicken, to see who would start the conversation.

“I enjoyed that night, by the way,” Jimin broke the silence, looking at his wine glass.

You cleared your throat. “I did too.”

“Then why didn’t we talk about it?” He glanced at you before looking back at his glass and chuckling. “Like, if we both enjoyed it so much, shouldn’t we at least mention it?”

“I thought you didn’t enjoy it,” you replied.

He made eye contact with you. “Why?”

You shrugged, “I was waiting for you to say something about it, I don’t know.”

Jimin took a sip of his wine before admitting, “I was waiting for you to say something.”

You both kind of chuckled at each other’s misunderstanding.

“But it’s deeper than that, isn’t it?” He proposed, furrowing his eyebrows. You didn’t answer, so he continued, “I see it when we hang out. Like—something is holding you back. Like something is telling you that what we’re doing is wrong, even if it’s just talking about why curly fries are better than regular ones.”

You giggled at the last part of his sentence, remembering that conversation that you two had.

“So what is it?” Jimin peered into your face.

You found your throat was closing up, and your eyes were burning. You quickly looked up at the ceiling to prevent yourself from crying, but it came to no avail.

“I like you, Jimin,” you breathed. “I like you a lot, but I know we can’t be together.”

“What do you mean—”

“You’re hot!” You held out your arms, gesturing to his figure. “You’re a model, in fact. And me? I’m a struggling art student who isn’t pretty enough to date a model. You can’t be interested in me. It physically doesn’t make any sense.”

You were almost sobbing. “And I hate how I keep falling for you! It’s impossible not to! You’re beautiful on the inside and out, and I don’t even know how that’s possible.” You both chuckled at you complimenting at him while you cry your heart out.

“I just—”

“Can I say something?” He asked, and you nodded gratefully because you were embarrassed about the amount of crying you were doing in front of him.

“First of all, thank you,” he said, making you laugh, “also, I don’t care what you think about your looks. The reason why like you is that you’re a whole different person compared to all those arrogant good-looking models I work with—thank God.”

Jimin got up and sat next to you, grasping your hands in his. “When I hang out with, and your friends, it’s refreshing. I love every single moment of it.”

He wiped the tears on your cheek. “And I love every moment I spend with you. I was ecstatic when you kissed me that night. Not only was it hot that you made the first move, but I had been waiting to do it myself.”

He rested his forehead against yours, making you giggle. “And most of all, you need to not be afraid to talk to me. In order for this, or anything to work, you need to speak your mind and let people know how you’re feeling.”

Jimin chuckled as he pulled away to face you. “Of course, with reason. Don’t call people ‘shits’ even if they deserve it.”

You laughed, again, and wiped your tears as he continued, “There are people, including myself, who would want to hear what’s up with you. Why you’re upset, why you’re crying, because we care.”

He grasped your face. “And as some people say, ‘be your first cheerleader’. You’re more amazing than you think. I know it, Rachel knows it, Joey, Jason, and Kaleb know it. It’s your turn to know, too.”

You leaned against his hand, holding it with your own. “Have you ever thought of being an inspirational counselor?”

You both laughed and Jimin brought you into a hug.

“But you registered what I said, right?” He confirmed.

You nodded against his shoulder. “Yes.”

He pulled away from you, only to kiss you passionately on the lips.

“Can I take you out on a date?” He mumbled against your mouth.

You only hummed in response, unbuttoning his suit jacket, which he hastily took off. His hands traveled up your shirt and found their way to your breast.

“Fuck, no bra?”

“I’m in my home, of course, I took off my bra,” you murmured against his lips, helping him take off his button-up shirt.

“Touché,” he replied, running his thumb over your nipple, which made you shiver with pleasure.

Jimin helped you take off your top, throwing it somewhere on the floor. He kissed down your neck, leaving specks of purple, before sucking on one of your nipples.

You moaned at the feeling and arched your back, leaning into his mouth. He swirled his tongue around your nipple before taking it in your mouth again.

“Jimin—”

“Yes, kitten?”

The new nickname made arousal pool in your underwear.

He looked up at you, waiting for your answer.

You bit your lip. “Don’t stop,” you sighed.

He smirked before resuming his action while messaging your other breast. You grasp the back of his head, enjoying the feeling of his face against your breast.

His hand moved up your thigh, reaching the edge of your shorts. His fingertips skimmed your sides before grazing your clothed core. Your body flinched into his hand before pushing against it, urging him to do more.

“You like that?” He asked coyly, apply pressure on your clothed clit.

You gently rubbed yourself against his hand and moaned.

Jimin grasped your face and kissed your lips hungrily while circling your core with his index and middle finger. You moaned against his mouth as his fingers and your hips slowing heated up your core.

You felt almost come undone, but he pulled his hand and lips away from you.

He must’ve realized your annoyed expression because he was chuckling.

“Can I carry you to your room?” Jimin glanced at your bedroom’s door then back at you.

You kissed him lovingly on the lips before opening your arms, allowing him to grasp anywhere on your body to lift you.

Jimin smiled and hosted you up against his torso with his hands under your thighs. You wrapped your arms the back of his neck, reconnecting your lips with his gently. You felt him slightly struggling to get up from your seat, and you softly pulled away from his face.

You giggled, “I can walk to my own room,”

He made a ‘psssh’ noise, “You’re light as a feather. There’s no need,”

You shrugged and began kissing him again, making you both chuckle against each other’s lips.

When Jimin enters your room with you in his arms, he closed the door by pushing your back against it. You let out a surprised gasp as he kissed your neck, before twirling you around to your bed.

He placed you softly on your bed, placing his hands on either side of your head and peering at you. Jimin just gently smiled at you for a moment, his eye looking into yours.

“I think I’m falling in love with you,” he sighed.

You burst into laughter, curling onto your side for a moment before looking back at his offended face.

“What?” He laughed.

“That is about the cheesiest thing you could say right now!” You exclaimed, propping yourself up with your elbows.

“Well, sorry if I was trying to make it a moment.” Jimin rolled his eyes, standing up taller putting hands on his hips.

“Hey, hey,” you got up on your knees to meet him face to face, “it was cute.”

You kissed him, hoping to resume the atmosphere from before. He was stiff at first but melted and began moving his lips rhythmically against yours.

Jimin gently pushed you away from him, causing you to bounce back on the bed.

He started unbuckling his belt, “I think I’ll have to punish you for making fun of me, kitten,”

“What are you doing to do, daddy?” You sarcastically moaned, imitating the pornstars.

Jimin paused for second as he was about to take off his pants. “That was kind of hot.”

You rolled your eyes, “Just fuck me already.”

He winked at you before removing his pants and crawling on top of you. He left open-mouthed kisses down your neck and the valley of your breast, before stopping at the brim of your underwear. He looked up at you as he hooked his fingers around the sides of your underwear.

“Please,” you quietly pleaded.

Jimin smirked before pulling down your underwear to reveal your pussy dripping with arousal.

He blew a gust of air against your core, making you flinch with pleasure. “So wet for me,” he observed, “I bet I could just fill you up right now.”

You urged your core closer to his face, but he only left kisses on your thigh. His hands massage the inner parts of your upper leg but never touching where you need it most.

When you let out a desperate whine, he kissed your clit. Your hips jutted forward as he began kitten lick your clit.

Jimin lavishes at your core, laying his flat tongue against you. He slowly pushes a finger into you, and you feel yourself clench around it. You feel him groan against you, send a vibration through your pelvis. You look down and make eye contact with him.

All you see is from his nose up, from how buried he is against you. Every now and then, you see his tongue work against your clit, and his finger disappears in you. He’s drinking you up like wine and savouring every single moan you make underneath him.

One finger turns into two, and you find yourself almost shaking. Your hands are a mixture of pulling him close and pushing him away. His hands grip your thighs, preventing you from closing them.

“J-Jimin,” you choke, feeling your fluids rush out of you.

When he’s done licking you dry, he looks up at you and wipes his mouth.

“Thank you,” he simply says before connecting his lips with yours.

You can taste your arousal on his tongue while you kiss him.

You begin to pull down his boxers and flip him over onto the bed. You’re straddling him, now, and your hand moves languidly up and down his shaft. He hisses at the feeling and puts a hand on yours.

“Tonight’s about you,” he took your hand off of his penis and kissed it tenderly.

“But I want to make you feel good,” you purred, taking your hand out of his grasp and putting it back where it was.

He sighed as if he let you do something he didn’t want you to do, “Alright,”

You rolled your eyes and shifted your position. You straddled one of his thighs and began rubbing his cock. You moaned at the sensation of his thigh against your naked core. You could see your clear fluid on his leg as you moved at the filthy sounds it made in the air.

“Fuck,” Jimin muttered with blushed cheeks, “you look so hot right now.”

“T-thanks,” you mustered, about to come undone again.

Jimin stopped your hand from moving, making you stop your movements. You slowed down your breaths and looked at him with confusion.

“I’m really enjoying this—” He tried to catch his breath. “—but, to be honest, I’d rather cum inside you.”

Your eyes widen at the word ‘cum’ leaving his mouth. You felt a sudden wave of stimulation awake in your core, making you lean forward slightly.

Jimin smirked, recognizing that you were being turned on. “Would you like that?” He leaned to your ear, and whispered, “For me to cum inside you?”

You whimpered at his words, nodding your head.

He suddenly flipped your over onto your back. His body was close enough for you to feel his warmth, but his body was touching yours.

His hands grazed against the sides of your thighs, opening your legs so he hips could fit between them.

As Jimin was about to thrust into you, you put a hand on his chest to stop him.

“Condom,” you realized, pointing to your bedside table, “the second drawer.”

“Right,” he nodded, agreeing with you.

“Wait,” you got up from underneath him, opening the drawer yourself and fetching the condom, “can I put it on you?”

“Sure,” Jimin smiled.

You opened the small square package carefully and unwrapped the condom onto Jimin’s hard member. He slightly flinched at your feathery touches, probably from being aroused.

“You want to do this?” You asked.

“More than anything,” he assured.

“You?”

“More than anything,” you replied, leaning on your back.

Jimin hovered over you. You two made heartfelt eye-contact.

“You’re beautiful,” he breathed as he spread your legs gently.

“I love,” he began as he sunk into you, “the way you feel around me.”

You could feel yourself clench around his thick cock. He fit perfectly inside you, filling up every crevice you had.

Jimin pulled out of you, letting his tip stay inside of you, then snapped his hips against you. His thrusts were slow, making sure to fill you up every time. The heels of your feet rested on his lower back, almost pushing him back into you.

“Fuck,” he grunted.

“F-faster, please,” you requested as he began to pound into you.

“You. Feel. So. Good.” He emphasized with each thrust.

“Same to you,” you choked.

Jimin lifted your legs so your knees were closer to the sides of your head. The new position made each of his thrusts hit your g-spot. You became a moaning mess as he plowed into you, and the room was filled with the filthy noises of your core.

“I’m close—” You mumbled.

“Same—” Jimin replied.

In a matter of seconds, you felt your arousal come out of you, dripping onto the sheets. You could feel his spirits of warm cum in the condom inside you.

Jimin fell onto his side to prevent himself from collapsing onto you.

“Fuck,” you said out of breath.

He chuckled and got out of bed. You propped yourself onto your elbow to see where he was going.

Jimin went to your bathroom and dumped the spoiled condom in the rubbish bin. He grabbed a hand towel from your bathroom counter and dampened it with water. When he came back to the bed, he wiped you core softly, smirking at your flinches from oversensitivity.

“Thank you,” you sighed as Jimin tossed the towel into your sink and laid next to you.

He pulled the covers over your naked bodies and pulled your body against his. Your head rested on his chest, and his head was atop yours.

“That was better than the other night,” you admitted, making you both giggle.

“It sure was,” he agreed, chuckling.

You snuggled into the warmth of his chest, and you felt his strong arms wrap around your body.

Your eyes began to feel heavy, and Jimin must’ve been looking at you because he gently pulled away from you.

“Are you falling asleep?”

“Hm?” You sluggishly looked at him and wiped your eyes. “Maybe.”

He giggled, “You’re adorable.”

You only hummed at began closing your eyes again.

“Before you nod off,” he kissed your lips to wake you up, “are you alright to go on a date this coming Friday?”

“I’d love to,” you grinned, connecting both of you lips in a tender kiss.

He smiled, his eyes turning into sideways crescents, “Okay, now you can sleep.”

You cuddled back into him again, and you felt his head rest on top of yours.

Just as you felt sleep start settle into your body, you heard the front door open.

“Y/N!” Rachel’s voice echoed through the apartment.

“Oh my God,” you heard Joey’s voice whisper in shock, “is Jimin here?!”

You pulled away from Jimin and looked him in the eyes with slight fear.

“Do I say anything?” He whispered.

“No!” You shouted back.

“This shirt looks awfully familiar!” Joey responded.

“Calm down, Joey. Let them be.” Rachel hissed.

She cleared her throat, “Thank you, Joey, for walking me home. I’ll see you later.”

“Wait—” You heard Joey begin and then the front door shutting.

“I’m happy for you, Y/N!” Rachel cheered. “But, next time, don’t leave your clothes everywhere.”

You looked at Jimin and you both laughed.

Eventually, you both fell asleep in each other’s arms. And you couldn’t be happier.

#park jimin #BTS jimin #bts park jimin #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts scenarios #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst #jimin smut #jimin angst #jimin fluff #jimin scenario #ficswithluv

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dr-habit-b · 4 years ago

Text

Pesky pups and pretty ladies

No application, no warning, heck, not even an email! Kamal was already working on two other applications from the other night, and before he knew what was even happening, from the corner of his vision through the window he saw some Habititans gathering around the entrance to the ‘carnival’ area.

He didn’t think much of it at first, maybe the kids were trying to mess with Ronbo, he was the clown after all, but when he poked his head around the office’s big, clunky computer he saw-

Wait wAS THAT ANOTHER FREAKIN KID?

He bolted up from his chair and ran out to the balcony, gripping the railing as he leaned forward, squinting to see what was happening. In the middle of a few of the residents was definitely a new person, no doubt. Ohh god oh GOD what the heck? They definitely weren’t expecting anyone today, who..??? Geez, aw geez.

“Haaaaaabit! We got a! Thing!!!!” He called out from the balcony, his voice creaking with anxiety. He didn’t want to deal with this today!...

Kamal was staring down into the carnival area, rubbing his temples as Habit came up behind him, peering around to see his assistant’s face.

“Kamal? Whate’s the matter?”

He watched with curiosity and confusion as his assistant just gestured frustratingly down to the carnival, following his gaze. Oh! There was a little group down there, now what were they doing?

“Eye.. do’nt understand, whate is happening?”

He frowns a little bit as Kamal drags his hands down his face with a big sigh, looking up at him. The anxiety and worry was very apparent on his face... his hand twitches a little, wanting to hold his face, but he doesn’t.

“I dunno if you can see or not, but uh. The Habititans? Are? Around a. Uh. A kid. New kid. Like, ah, no application or anything I didn’t recognize them Habit oh my god what are we gonna do?!”

Kamal starts running his fingers through his hair and curling it around his fingers as he starts rocking on his heels a little. If this kid just showed up, without parents, or, hell, even with parents but no application, ohhh they’re gonna get in so much trouble.

He jumps a bit feeling big hands on his shoulders, looking up at Habit.

“Kamal. It iz o.k. We wille figure thise out! Let us go ande greete theme!”

Kamal forces a little bit of a smile, taking a deep breath as he pats Habit’s arms, shaking his head as those big hands remove from his shoulders.

“Y.. yeah, yeah. Okay. That’s probably for the best anyways, uh, lets! Lets just go, yeah?”

Habit gives him a smile, just barely showing his teeth, and pats Kamal on the back as the two of them head down the elevator. They don’t say much, but Kamal can feel Habit staring down at him as he nervously fidgets and messes with his hair. He’s still really worried, but! But it’ll be fine, right? Right. They wont get sued, I mean, its not like Parsley is hanging out in the carnival. Its not like he’ll see this kid, coming in unannounced and unplanned, and think to sue them. Haha, right? Right?? That wont happen.’

Kamal doesn’t notice the elevator ding and open up at first, not till Habit pats his back and coaxes him out. Geez, okay, he needs to just. Breathe and take a moment to get out of his own head.

He takes their long walk down the long hallway to the boiler room to do just that, holding his hands together in front of them and staring down at them. He feels a hand on his back, Habit making sure to guide him and keep him walking. Its appreciated, to say the least.

By the time they exit that big door in the back of the boiler room, Kamal is at least calm enough to not be almost pulling out his own hair.

“Are u o.k?”

He didn’t jump at least, but as Kamal looked up at his boss, he took a moment to take in the worried expression on his face. They both stopped, just a few feet shy away from the door, just staring at each other. Kamal let out a weary sigh before finally answering.

“I.. I’m worried! A lot, but... but it’ll be fine, right? We’ll... figure it out... probably.”

A smile creeped up on Habit’s face and he nodded, giving Kamal’s head a little pat pat.

“Yese it will! Do note worri, if it go-es bad, eye will handl it. Thise is mine Habitat, after all.”

Kamal manages a smile back for him, but. His words both comfort and continue to worry him. But they weren’t going to figure out just standing here, so he decides to lead the way this time, with Habit following just a touch behind him.

The gathered Habitians had moved from the carnival gates into the middle of the courtyard, it looked like... Ronbo, Mirphy, Tiff and Jimothan were gathered by the new kid, talking amongst themselves and looking rightfully worried. They all turned their heads hearing Kamal and Habit approach, which made Kamal feel incredibly small.

Thankfully Habit took charge and stepped in front of Kamal, smiling with open arms.

“Hell-o evry-one!! I hear thate we have a new visitor two-day!” He clasps his hands together, gazing down at the awkward-looking teen in the middle of the adults. “Amd who mite you be, younge man?”

The boy just stared at him for a moment, probably taking in the height difference, before shaking his head and grinning wide with teeth covered in braces. He was a nerdy looking kid, to say the least, dressed up far too warm for this summer heat. But, Habit supposed he used to dress in a very similar way in his teen years...

“O-oh! Uh!” Wait, he clears his throat a bit, trying to keep his voice from so obviously cracking. “I’m Trevor Garbo! And I heard from a...” He gets all shifty eyed for a moment, before looking back to Habit with squinty eyes. “Reliable source, that you guys might have a Vampire lurking around here!! I had to come see for myself!”

Habit just blinked down at the kid, and he could feel how dumbfounded his expression looked. He glanced over to the adults around Trevor, who all seemed just as exasperated and confused. O-key... um. Hmm..

“Weel! I amn not knowing about thise, but... ah.. Trevor, did you come here... a-lone?”

He didn’t turn around, but he could feel Kamal behind him grabbing nervously at his coat. He could practically feel him begging for the answer to be no. And, well, Habit was hoping for that too of course. But if this kid did come here alone....

“..Oh, nah! Uh, actually. My mom dropped me off.”

Relief. Kamal practically melted into a puddle, and Habit felt a little weight off his shoulders too. Although...

“Dide she? Ah, iz.. she stille aroumd?”

The blank stare Trevor gives him does Not inspire confidence.

“Uhhh, nah? Nah, she left, for like. Work stuff I dunno. She heard me talking about this place and thought it’d be a nice place to drop me off while she did work stuff. Uh, that’s like. Okay, right? I mean, this is already way better than being alone at the house for weeks!”

....Oh god he’s sweating. What the heck? Okay. O-key, o.k, umm...

“Did... yew happ-en two fill out a app-licaton? Ate all?”

He’s trying not to seem too nervous, but he gets the feeling Trevor can tell anyways.

“Uh, nah. Was I.. ‘sposed to?”

A. Perfect.

Before he could even think of what to say next he felt movement behind him, and when he turned to look he saw his assistant hurriedly making his way to the carnival.

“Ah- Kamal! Waite!”

He started to follow only to stop, looking back at Trevor, who was starting to look just as worried as the adults. No, no that wont do. He squats so he’s not looking down at the kid, giving him a big, closed smile.

“Oh, do note worri, маленький, you hav no-thimg two be a-fraide of. We wille handle every-thing! Juste be nice two the others, o.k?”

When Trevor relaxes Habit stands tall again and gives him a pat on the head before turning quick and rushing after Kamal. He catches up with a few strides of his long legs and grabs him by the arm, stopping him for going further.

“Kamal. Pleaze, re-lax. Whate are you ev-en planning?”

His grip isn’t tight by any means, and he still feels badly about it, but he doesn’t let go. He can take a pretty good guess at what Kamal is wanting to do, but.. He doesn’t need to see his face to see how stressed out and worried he is about this situation, he can feel it in how Kamal trembles.

“If... if I can just. Just talk t-to, to Parsley, and.. and explain! What. Just happened! I’m.. I can fix this, and.. and get a handle on, on the situation, before... before it gets worse, so.. s-so let me go, doc, I can.. I got this.”

“No, Kamal, you do note.”

“AND WHY NOT?!”

Habit jumps slightly, hearing Kamal raise his voice like that, but he does his best not to waiver.

“Be-cauze you are verry stressed, rite now.” He feels Kamal start to tug his arm, just a little, and he reaches over to turn his assistance’s face to him. Once they’re looking at one another, Habit tries to give him a little smile.

“Liek I said, it iz o-key. Lemt me talk to Parslm. Parsm... Parsley.” He scrunches his face a little. Why did he have such a hard time with that name... regardless.

“Yew should staye and talke two Trevor a bit! Eye will handl the issue. Be-sides, we have an-other guest a-riving soon! U need to be calme so you can greete her, yes?”

Kamal’s intense gaze is able to make even Habit a little nervous, despite the disparity in their height, but he relaxes when he sees the other let out a tired sigh.

“I... okay, okay. Yer right I’m. Super messed up about this right now... I just... dont want you to get in trouble for this, y’know? You.. yer a good guy and this place is like, your dream! Sow hat.. what if...”

He gets cut off as Habit pats his head with a little laugh, blinking up at him in confusion.

“Welle! Thate is for me to worri about, note you. Go see Trevor, waite for our new Habitians, I will talk with Pars. O-key?”

Kamal just stares up at him for a second before letting out a little laugh, some of the tension ebbing away. He nods, patting hand still holding onto his arm till Habit lets go.

“Y.. yeah, ‘o-key,’ I’ll do that. Just uh... if! If you need me, I’ll, uh. Be.. not that far away, I guess, hehh...”

His face flushes a little as he starts to walk back towards the courtyard, but he tries to shake it off. That was a dumb thing to say...

-----

Habit watches him go with a smile before sighing himself, looking over to where Parsley was hanging out. He was sitting by that little tire fire.. wonder why he liked that area so much. But, well, not the time for that. He makes his way over, giving Parsley a wave when he notices him coming. Parsley doesn’t get up or anything, just stays sitting and hugging his suitcase. That’s fine, Habit will walk right over and squat beside him.

“...So, uh. Whats up, Mr. Habit? You and your assistant get into a ‘lovers quarrel’ or something? Haha.”

Habit shoots him a frown, and Parsley gives him an apologetic smile.

“Eye dont knowe if you saw, but... we got a new Habititian, a bite ago.”

“Oh? Sounds uh, fun. Why... are you telling me, exactly?” He cant help but frown a little at the nervous expression on this big man. Doesn’t sit well in his stomach.

“Weell.... He is younge, amd.. he tolde us thate, ah... his momther, juste dropped him off and left. We were work-ing on two applications a bit a-go, but.. they were note his. She didmt e-maile or anything, we have noo paper-worke for him.” His gaze drifts away from Parsley as he talks, and he rubs the back of his neck with one of his hands.

“Kamal is verri up-set. Worried thate eye will get in-two trouble for thise.. we were ho-ping yew could help us? You’re are a lawyer boy, amd may-b you could help make an application for him?”

He finally glances back over at Parsley, only to wince a little at the look of disbelief on his face.

“Ah... do you note truste me? We can go-”

“Oh, no no, you’re fine. I cant believe the nerve of that kid’s Mom!” He groans, and rests his forehead against his suitcase, grumbling to himself. Something or other about child negligence, and custody cases..

“Okay, OK, yeah. Okay. Dont worry, uh, doc, I got y’alls back. I aint no evil lawyer or anything, heh... Whats the kid’s name again?”

“Ah, I thimk he said... Trevor! Trevor... Garbo?”

Parsley hums a little bit, thinking for a moment as he drums his fingers against his suitcase.

“Hmm, Garbo, Garbo... Man, I think my firm dealt with a divorce with that name. All the applications are the same, right? I’m sure I can call someone, and get a hold of his information pretty easy.... Oh, uh, y’know. If thats all good with you and- uh...”

He looks up at Habit, whose looking right back at him with big teary eyes. Before he knows whats even happening he’ lifted up like a Child and hugged by this big crying green doctor, and. Well. Sure, why the heck not. It only lasts but a moment and when Parsley is put down Habit apologizes while wiping his eyes with his sleeve.

“Aw, uh, no worries. No harm. I’ll, uh! Get to you, when I get the information and stuff, kay? I’d uh, do it now, but...” He glances over to the other side of the carnival, past the gates where the small group of adults and Trevor were still located.

Jimmothan was one of them...

“Ah, do note worri a-bout it. Eye understand.” Habit gives Parsley a pat on the back as he gets up, giving him a smile.

“You juste re-lax, amd I will come check-in later. I wille go see how Trevor is doing.”

They wave at each other before Habit starts heading back over to the courtyard, feeling lighter and more relieved. That went. MUCH much better than anticipated! Thank goodness. Though.. one of Parsley’s comments did plant a pit of worry in his stomach, but. Well. Nothing he could do about it, Parsley was the lawyer, not him.

-----

If Kamal wasnt so stressed out right now, he’d be very entertained by how Trevor just kept going on and ON about vampires. It was impressive, actually, even if he had no idea what the heck he was even on about. But as it stood he was passively listening to keep the kid happy, all while his worries covered him like a heavy, heavy blanket. He keeps glancing over to the big front doors of the Habitat, keeps listening for a knock or the sound of a bus or something. It feels like time is going agonizingly slow.

“...your name again?”

“Huh?” Oh, shit, he stopped listening. He looked back to Trevor, giving him a nervous smile.

“Uhh, sorry pal, didn’t catch that. Whats up?”

“What’s your name again? And, uh, the tall guy?”

Good, good, just a question. He lets out a sigh and tries to relax again.

“My name’s Kamal, and that big lug you saw was Habit. He’s my boss, and the guy who runs this place. He, uh... I mean, we’ll need you to fill out an application, later, since. Since yer mom kinda just... y’know.”

“Ohh.. I uh, yeah thats! Fair, probably, sorry about that.”

“Nah, kid, dont even worry about it. Not your fault. Is, uh.. the only reason you came cause of the. Vampire thing?....” Where did he even hear that? Far as he’s aware none of these other folk are really internet people. “You know this is a place for like. Sad people, right?”

“Really? Well, honestly, I wasn’t sure. I mean, I did look at the website, but...”

Trevor shrugs, and Kamal gives him another nervous grin. Maybe he should look at that website... Habit put it together when they were first getting things running, he cant actually remember whether or not he checked it before hand. Maybe he should... go and make some edits. Or at least add some information. Or just look at it- whatever that was for later.

His attention went back to the front doors, while Trevor went back to talking about vampires to the other few adults around, who were listening to him with confused but endeared expressions. He was a little weird, but hey, whatever makes this kid happy right? After he was just dumped off by his mom, it was the least they could do.

Kamal found himself just staring at those doors, everything else out of his focus falling away. He started sort of bouncing one of his legs anxiously, starting to fiddle with his hair with one of his free hands. He was so out of it that he let out a very undignified squawk when he felt something touch him, turning around only to be met by his tall boss. They stared at each other before laughing a bit, Kamal giving an embarrassed apology before straightening.

“S.. so, uh, how’d it go with-” Ah. He glances over at Jimothan, who was talking with Trevor, before looking back to Habit.

“How’d it go?”

“Goode! Eye thimk it went good. He said he would help! Help two get Trevor’s in-for-mation, for an application. He is, thamkfully, on oure side withe this. There is no-thimg to worri a-bout, Kamal.”

He holds his arms out a little, an offered hug, and Kamal is quick to take it. God he was so relieved he could melt into a puddle right then and there.

But there was still more to do. They all chat for a fit, and the others disperse as Kamal leads Trevor up into the apartment area, practically hugging the wall all the way up while Habit followed behind with Trevor’s bit of luggage.

With the weight of all that legal stress off his shoulders, Kamal was a lot more lively. That was good, Habit liked to see that. Seeing his assistant so consumed by stress and anxiety.. really hurt, but he knew the feeling.

Once Trevor was shown his room, he was eager to have everything set up and decorated just how he wanted, so they left him to it. Still had to wait for the new Habititans to show up... hopefully nothing happened, but those worries were ditched quickly as they got to the bottom of the stairwell.

“Ohhhh heyyyyyyyy!” A woman in a green dress and frizzy looking hair waved over to them, accompanied by a.. well, to put it bluntly, another very sad looking woman with long teal hair.

Kamal let out a breath of relief seeing them and straightened, putting on a big smile as he and Habit approached the two.

“Hello! And, welcome to the Habitat! We’re very pleased to have you both, you didn’t have any trouble getting here did you?”

“Ohh not at all! Hahaha, wowww, you’re soo sweet! I met Lulia here the the busss stop and we chatted so much we forgot the bus! Soooo we had to wait for the next one, but itssss okay, no worries.”

She ruffles Kamal’s hair, which gets a nervous laugh out of him. Was.. was this woman. Drunk? She, uh, she was sure acting like it. Well its a good thing she said they took the bus cause Kamal wasn’t sure how he’d feel if she drove here.

“Okay! Okay, thats... thats good to hear, at least.” At least, he thinks so. “You’re.. Jerafina, right? And I suppose the other woman is Lulia?”

“Ding diiiiiing! Hahaha, I alllllmost forgot you knew my name, I was totally shocked at first.” She turns to look at the other woman standing behind her. “Yooour name is Lulia??? Thats sooooo pretty!!”

Lulia just sighs, brushing some hair behind one of her ears. It looks like she’s blushing, but Kamal cant tell what exactly from. She really did look sad, and, well... her application had him figure as much, really. She was probably the worst case here right now, and honestly, it... made him nervous! What a shocker, but really. She would have to be someone they keep an eye on, for sure...

While he was lost in his thoughts Habit approached them, giving them a friendly smile and offering his hand for handshakes. Jerafina took it and shook maybe a little too eagerly, while Luila just turned her face away from the offer. She didn’t seem like one to talk, even though Jerafina mentioned them having a conversation... though, maybe Jerafina was just talking at her. Who knows.

“Weel! You two muste be tired, yess?? Let us go two you’re rooms! I cam carry your thimgs!” Habit beamed as they both gave him their respective suitcases, and he thought it was cute how each one matched its owner so perfectly. He glanced down at Kamal, who was looking at the stairs rather nervously, and nudged him with his elbow.

“Do note worry, eye can han-dle theme from hear. Yew go back two the office o-key?” He doesn’t give Kamal the chance to answer, actually, and turns a heel and walks towards the stairs with the two women following suit.

Kamal watches them go, hand partially raised like he was going to say something, but after a second he drops it and makes his own way back to the office. Come on, its okay, everything worked out fine. Nothing to stress about.

-----

Jerafina continued to chat up Lulia the whole way up the stairs and to the apartment rooms, up until she was shown her own room and given her suitcase. She pouted and whined about leaving Lulia behind, but eventually left to her own devices after a moment. Habit was thankful when she did, letting out a little sigh. She definitely reeked of alcohol. Well! Good thing they the lounge, and Jimothan.

His walk with Lulia was significantly quieter, and Habit all too quickly missed Jerafina’s mindless chatter. He never knew what to say to people who didn’t want to talk, so... they didn’t. Lulia didn’t seem to mind at least. When they reached her room Habit set down her luggage and looked over to her, offering a little smile.

“Do note worry, miss Lulia. Yew can take as much tiem here as you neede. If there is any-thinge you neede, let me knowe.” His smile strains a little bit as she nods and continues to stay quiet, watching her step into her room. He lets out a quiet sigh through his nose. Well... he cant blame her. These sorts of things arent easy for everyone. Admitting you’re in a bad place, and need some kind of help..

“...You are a-mong friends, here. We are alll deal-img withe pro-blems. Big! Or small. Do note be a-fraid two talke to some-one. O-key?” He stares at the back of her head for a long time before smiling a little when she finally nods. He wishes her a good rest of the day and makes his way back down the stairs, and towards the boilers.

He hopes Kamal is okay. Today piled a lot of unexpected stress onto him, and Habit knew just how anxious he got about things... Well! No matter, he would make sure things ran smooth as they can go. Tomorrow he’ll check in with Parsley, and get to work on all of Trevor’s papers. Maybe see if... Parsley can get a hold of his mom. Or... something. Anything. That whole situation didn’t sit right with him..

When he reached the elevator he hit the up button and waited patiently for the ding, listening to the hum of the machine as it whirred to life. He was still lost in thought, but didn’t miss the quiet sound under the mechanical hum. He lifted his head a bit to listen more intently, looking around the empty room.

Empty? No, that wasnt right. His eyes widened a bit as his gaze landed on one of the corners of the room, where he spotted a small form, pressed against that corner and looking very small. His expression fell and his chest tightened painfully.

“Oh, лилия....” The words slipped out, just barely audible, and Habit turned to make his way over to that small form as the elevator dinged and opened behind him. He stopped just shy of the other, and slowly sat down on his knees in front of him.

Kamal was sat so tucked into that corner and into himself that he looked so, so much smaller than normal. Habit could see the way he trembled, even in the dim room, and could see the uneven rising and falling of his breathing, despite him being utterly silent. He reached out to him, only to stop just shy of touching his head. He hesitated for a long while, thinking over what to do.

“Is touche o-kay?”

For a while, Kamal didn’t give him a response, verbal or otherwise, but he eventually nodded. Habit breathed a sigh of relief and started to gently stroke the top of his head, lightly dragging his finger tips through his hair.

“I ame... so sorry, Kamal... I should note hav left you a-lone.” Especially when the way up to the office was so... dark and spooky. He should really try getting some lights down here sometime, he thinks, but- no no. That wasn’t important right now.

What was important was the fact that he let his assistant, his friend, get so anxious like this. He’s sure he could have done... something better along the way.

He continues to comb through Kamal’s wavy hair with his fingers, not sure what to say next. Not sure what would or wouldn’t make it worse.. but he knew being down here wasn’t going to make it any better, thats for sure.

Gently he started to coax Kamal into uncurling.

“Here, lemt me carry you two you’re room. Yew wille be more comfy there.”

Eventually Kamal let Habit pick him up, but he hid his face in his hands the whole time. That made Habit giggle a bit, which seemed to relax Kamal a little. Good! That was... a little progress, at least. He carried him up and into the elevator, pushing the up button. Kamal, being his assistant, shared a room right across from Habit’s. Easy to get to and from the office quickly.

As the elevator came to a slow stop and dinged, the doors sliding open, Kamal finally found his voice as Habit stepped out.

“Imm.. ss-sorry...” His voice was quiet and cracked easily, giving away his crying. It really tore up Habit from the inside out, hearing him like that.

“Kamal no no, you do’nt haf two be sorre for an-y thimg....” He nudged Kamal’s door open as he reached it, thankful it wasnt closed all the way, and went to go sit on the bed. Still holding him close.

“Bu.. but I. I-I didnt... ee-even help!.. I was,, ss-so useless...” And that was it, wasn’t it. He tried so hard all the time, he worked so hard, all the time. Did everything his parents wanted him to, studied and made perfect grades even at the expense of his well being, got into a good college, then went to a good dentistry school, kept studying hard and making perfect grades-

But god, god, life throws one unexpected thing at him and he totally falls apart. Just one! And it wasnt even that bad! So- why??

He flinches a little bit as his hands are pulled from his face, and he stares, teary-eyed up at his boss, who looks back down at him with worry and pain.

“You are Not use-less. Kamal.” Habit closes his eyes for a second to take a breath, and when he opens them again, his gaze is much softer.

“Yew are wonderful. So.. smarte, and hard-workeing, all the time! Even whene you do’mt haf to be. You check and re-cheke ev-ery-thing so thate you are sure it is all in-order! Thate everything is o-key! Yew hav re-membered manee little de-tales I do not, and have fixed mine mistakes thate I missed. Ande yew care a-bout the Habititans as much as I do.” He gives Kamal a warm smile, gently wiping a few tears away with his thumb.

“Far from use-less, in mine o-pinion.”

Kamal cant help his face flushing as Habit speaks, glancing away when he starts touching his face. It does bring a little smile to his face, and he cant help but.. laugh? Just a little bit.

“Y... yer.. such a sofie, y.. y’know that?” He doesn’t look back up at Habit, but he does put a hand over top the one still touching his face, as if to say ‘keep it there.’

Habit just stares down at Kamal with a little smile on his face, staying quiet for a bit before letting out a little laugh of his own.

“Hah, may-b! Thate is a good thing, no?”

Its only now that Kamal finally looks up at Habit, giving him a small smile of his own.

“Yeah... yeah I, I think so.”

They stay like that for a long while. Habit moves so that his back can lean back against the wall, and Kamal stays in his arms. He feels like this should be... way more weird, I mean, he was. Being held by his boss? After having a mini breakdown. In his own room??? On his bed??? But... it was just. Nice.

They talked about nothing in particular for what felt like hours, till Kamal stopped getting answers back. He glanced up, only to see that Habit was starting to doze off. He felt his face flush again along with this warm, but also nauseous feeling in his chest. At first he thought he might be about to have a panic attack, but this feeling still felt more.. pleasant than anything, pleasant and nervous.

...Wait a second.

Ah,

#the smiler (ooc)#The Smiler's stories (mun writing)#long post #(well this sure took forever but here it is pls.. read it hdfshfsd)#(i kinda forgot to check while i was writing to events in this drabble dont Quite line up with how i had the characters talk)#(but WHATEVER its fine lmao)#(this is already like. a week late anyways hsdfhsdf it dont matter)#Smile for me #Smile for me game #Dr. Habit #Kamal Bora

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homogrimoire · 5 years ago

Text

Fun, Family, and Fishing

Fair Game Week 2020: Day 3 - Family / Weapons

Read it on AO3 here.

After months of planning, they were finally going on their camping trip, and boy did it take planning. It was a hard time to find a time where five adults were all free for a vacation. Eventually, they all decided to embark on their trip during the summer when Tai was free from his teaching job, and when fishing was in season. Qrow, Clover, Summer, and Raven just decided to use their sick days to get the time off. At first, it was just going to be them and Ruby and Yang, but then they begged their parents to let their friends Weiss and Blake tag along. They gave in quickly. They knew they could handle two more kids, and quickly met with the other kid’s parents to get the okay from them. To all the kids’ delight, they agreed. But then, all four of them ganged up on the adults to convince them to let their other friends, Jaune, Nora, Pyrrha, and Ren, join in on the trip. The kids were around so much they practically were family, but eight kids seemed like too much, so at first, they said no. Then they saw the children’s puppy eyes. Then they fell for the puppy eyes and pleas. Then they went to get permission from all the kids’ guardians. And then they modified their plans to include eight kids instead of four kids, which had first only planned for two kids. It was hectic, to say the least, but it all worked out. They ended up renting two RVs and getting more supplies than they could carry. After a day of driving and trying to keep middle school kids entertained, they reached their reserved campsite nightfall, exhausted and tired. They decided to begin their activities the next day. Tai and Clover were the first to wake, used to an early schedule.

“Morning Tai.”

“Morning Clover.” They both began unloading the supplies for breakfast, though most of the cooking would be done by Tai. Clover wasn’t allowed to cook after the time he burned soup, which no one ever let him forget. The only thing he could cook well was fish.

“So, how was your night?”

“Pretty good, all things considered. Team JNPR fell asleep pretty quickly, and Qrow too. He is pretty good with kids after all.”

“Team JNPR?” Tai questioned.

“It’s what Qrow calls Jaune, Nora, Pyrrha, and Ren’s group.” Clover clarified. “He calls the girls Team RWBY.”

“Hmm, I’m gonna steal that from him. If anyone asks, I thought of it on my own.”

“My lips are sealed.” Clover said as he motioned his lips shut.

“Anyways, my night was terrible. Try falling asleep while teenage girls giggle until midnight, AND, while Raven snores. I don’t know how Summer even fell asleep in the first place.”

“Damn. Well, at least we’ll have tents to sleep in tonight while the kids sleep in the RV.”

“Yeah, but I can only imagine what that’s going to do to my back.”

“Oh Tai, you say that like we're old men. We’re only barely fourty.” Clover shook his head at the silly notion.

“I do crossword puzzles on my lunch breaks and you collect vintage fishing tackles.” He deadpanned, looking Clover straight into his eyes. Clover opened his mouth to refute the statement, but realized Tai was right.

“Okay. I see your point.” Clover conceded. There was also the fact that he was starting to gray on his sides. He liked how it looked though, and so did Qrow, whose hair was already colored salt and pepper. As Tai started breakfast, Clover took out the tent equipment. The next to awake were Ren, Nora, and Qrow.

“Good morning Uncle Clover and Mr. Xiao-Long.” Nora greeted cheerfully. She and the other kids had started calling Qrow Uncle Qrow in elementary school when they started hanging out with Ruby and Yang and their cool uncle. He didn’t particularly like it at first, but soon grew accustomed to it. And when he married Clover, it was only natural that they would call Clover Uncle Clover. Needless to say, Clover felt honored and readily accepted the title, especially since he was an only child and therefore couldn’t have nieces or nephews. Ren, still waking up, had also given a respectful “Good morning as well.”

“Morning, and please tell me someone made coffee.” Qrow asked, his drowsiness evident. The drowsiness certainly wasn’t going to stop him from giving his husband a good morning kiss on the cheek though.

“Lucky for you, Tai did. I’ll get you some.” Clover went and poured him a cup of pure black coffee.

“Thanks Cloves.” He said as he eyed the cup as if it held the secrets of life. Graciously, he took a sip. “Ahh, that's the stuff.” He smiled as he began to feel the drowsiness fade away.

“Uncle Clover! Can I have some?” Nora asked with bright eyed innocence.

“Uhh,” he responded at first. He didn’t really know if he should give her any, but got his answer from Ren who seemed wide awake now. Behind her, he mouthed “no” and fearfully shook his head. “No.”

“Aww, why not?” she asked, deflated.

“Because …” she stared at him as he tried to think of a reason.

“It’ll stunt your growth. You want to grow big and strong like your uncles, don’t you? Of course you do.” He quickly said before she could answer. “Here, have some juice.” He tossed her a box of some juice, which she caught.

“Thanks Uncle Qrow!”

“No problem kiddo.” She then moved over to Tai to see what he was cooking. Clover let out a sigh of relief.

“Thanks you two.”

“No need to thank us. We just don’t want Nora to run off in the wilderness and come back with a bear slung over her back.” Qrow told his husband as he took another sip.

“If you think she’s hyper now, you should have seen what happened in fifth grade when she drank an energy drink.” Ren, nursing a box of juice as well, said as he looked into the distance as if reliving a war memory.

“I’m pretty sure it left poor old Tai traumatized. But hey, he’s still an elementary school teacher, so it obviously wasn’t that bad.”

“I do not envy Tai’s work.” Clover replied as he sat down next to Qrow to take a break from unpacking. Next to wake up was Raven and Summer.

“Good morning. my wonderful wives.” Tai greeted them each with a kiss as he held a pan of cooking food.

“Too. Energetic.” Summer was obviously not a morning person “Need. Coffee.” She still had her eyes closed Raven guided her to a seat. She poured herself and her wife a cup.

“Morning Raven. You look great.” Qrow teased. She had a serious case of bedhead, which Qrow could not help but make fun of.

“I will throw you into the river, and I will laugh when your eyeliner gets ruined, little brother.” She glared at him as she took a long sip.

“Jokes on you, I didn't bring any.” He laughed at her, as she could only scowl at him. “Besides, I’d just have my knight in shining armor rescue me.” He gave Clover another kiss, which caused him to blush.

“Aww, look at that. Qrow and Clover sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.” teased Summer, who had turned back to her usual self thanks to the coffee. Now Qrow and Clover were both blushing.

“Ha! Look at them! Nice one!” Raven exclaimed as she high fived her wife. Before anymore could be said or done, Tai announced that breakfast was done, and asked them to wake the rest of the kids.

“This isn’t over, Summer.” Clover mocked as he motioned that he would be keeping his eyes on her, his cheeks still flushed.

“Oh, I know.” she said as she smiled, excited for the antics that would follow, and went to wake up Team RWBY. While Clover went to wake up Jaune and Pyrrah, Raven and Qrow only glared at each other, occasionally taking a sip of their coffee.

With all the kids now up, the real party would begin. After eating and mingling with one another, they changed into their outfits for the main event of the day: a fishing contest. Tai had decided that he would stay behind to watch the stuff. Ren, Nora, Ruby, and Weiss had decided to stay with him, since Nora and Weiss didn’t like getting wet, and Ren and Ruby didn't want to leave their best friend behind. When Tai told them they could help with the tents, Ruby screamed “Yay! Child labor!” which had caused all the adults to laugh, except for Tai, who looked sad and tired already.

The last ones to change into their fishing outfits were Qrow and Clover. Everyone expected him to look the most prepared because the man had been fishing most of his life, and he did look the most prepared. A fishing vest, with his signature pin tacked on, cargo shorts, and shoes with good grip were all immaculate, despite years of use, save for the shoes that were recently bought. He looked like he was about to enter a fishing contest, save for one particular part of his clothing: his hat. It was a gift from his fathers on his twentieth birthday, much like his prized fishing pole that he lovingly monikered after his favorite bird, “aside from Qrow” he would often clarify, the Kingfisher. Naturally he carried the fishing pole and wore the hat with pride. What made the hat so unaligned with his outfit was the fact that it said “Men want me Fish fear me” on it. Stepping out of the RV with Qrow, Clover saw Raven do a double take. Once she was able to make out the words on the hat, she began to die of laughter, which caused Summer to turn to look at what had made her wife laugh so hard. As a result, she began to laugh as well, calling her husband over in between laughs. Soon, he was dying of laughter as well. Qrow took in a deep breath and exhaled.

“You’re lucky I love you.”

“I know, and it’s all thanks to my good luck charm.” Clover sing-songed as he kissed Qrow on the cheek. He tried to hide a smile, but failed miserably. “Come on Qrow, let's go win our fishing contest.” Raven And Summer began to laugh even harder.

“You hear that Rav! They think- They think they’re gonna win!” They continued laughing.

“Laugh all you want now, we’ll see if you’ll be laughing later when you’re eating the fish we caught.” Clover taunted.

“I hope you like the taste of defeat, ladies.” Qrow said cooly, as if he and Clover already won.

“I’m sure they will. Now, let's get going. It’s already noon.” With that, Clover led the way to the river, Qrow by his side, the kids in tow playing around, and Summer and Raven behind the kids, recovering from their laughing fit. Soon, they arrived at a place where the deep river forked, one path remaining deep, the other turning shallow. As the kids played in the shallow area, the adults set up their fishing rods and chairs, one of them periodically going to the nearby shallow area to check in on the kids.

“All set!” exclaimed, the first to finish setting up. He stood back and admired his handiwork, everything neat and orderly. With that, he cast out his line, and waited. Next to finish setting up was Qrow, but only because he had Clover help him. Immediately after was Summer. While she wasn’t nowhere as talented in fishing as Clover, she was still a force to be reckoned with. Lastly was Raven, who was decent at fishing with a pole. And so, they waited, chatting about current events, their jobs, and the kids.

“So thats where Ruby learned about child labor, huh?” asked Qrow.

“Yup.” Confirmed Summer. “Speaking of Ruby, she recently asked when she’s going to have some cousins, and frankly, I wanna know too.” The two men began stumbling over each other’s words, explaining that they talked about it here and there, but never really seriously.

“Now’s as good a time as any.” Raven spoke. “You’re both about middle aged, have stable jobs with a good retirement plan, and you have us to help you out if you ever need it. After this trip, think about it maybe.”

“Wow Raven, that’s ... actually some good advice. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, Clover. I dragged it out from the kindness I keep in my heart.” Raven joked, putting a hand over her heart.

“You have a heart? I wouldn’t have ever known.” said a smug Qrow.

“Fine then, fuck you. I just wanted to have another person to tell all the embarrassing stories I have about you.” She angrily, almost comically, cast a line back into the water.

“Hey, watch you’re fucking language, there’s kids nearby.” Clover reprimanded, pretending to be serious. They all just laughed. The loud children were too far away to be able to discern their words.

“Eh, but seriously, thanks Rae, we’ll think about it.”

“If it helps, just know that I would make a great auntie.”

“I’m sure you would, Summer.” Qrow replied, mostly focusing on the fishing rod.

“You know, there is one thing we talked about.” Clover teased, immediately grabbing the attention of the two women.

“Oh, yeah! Names. We were thinking either Basil, or Bluebird.”

“Those are nice.” Raven replied.

“They are. I get Bluebird,” Summer stated, “but how did you decide on Basil?”

“Like my namesake, it’s another plant that can bring good luck.” Clover clarified.

“Ahh, I see. Oh! Clover! Look!” Summer shouted. His pole had hooked onto something, and after a bit of fighting, Clover reeled in a decently sized fish.

“Think you could top this?” Clover asked Qrow specifically, with a wink and a smirk on his face as he put the fish in a bucket of water.

“I mean, I have before.” He replied, unphased. It took a moment for the women to catch on to what he said. Once they realized, they made sounds of disgust and made sure it was known.

“Ugh! Gods have mercy on me!” Summer screeched in desperation, covering her ears.

“I wouldn’t waste my breath if I were you. Trust me, I know. You know how many times they didn't show me any mercy in college.” Qrow shuddered at the memories of him accidentally walking in on Raven, Summer, and Tai. They resumed their normal conversations and soon slipped into comfortable silence, each of them catching a fish now and then, except for Qrow. By the time lunch rolled around and the kids had eaten and resumed their playing, Qrow had still caught nothing. Currently in the lead was Raven, though Clover had wondered why the fish weren’t as big as they usually were. He just chalked it up to luck.

“Fuck it.” Qrow said. He rolled up his pants and waded into the river. Clover watched in curiosity as his husband stood still with laser focus in knee deep water. Soon, his curiosity was replaced with awe as the man shot into the water and resurfaced with a fish that put him in the lead. Clover wouldn’t have said it out loud, but seeing Qrow glistening in the river with a big fish in his hands was kind of hot.

“Qrow where the hell did you learn that!? That was amazing!” After Qrow placed his catch in his bucket, he was met with a kiss on the lips.

“Looks like I better catch more fish if this is my reward, huh?” Qrow asked, knowing the answer to his question. Clover whispered his answer into Qrow’s ear. Apparently, he did not know the answer. His face got visibly redder, and he quickly went back into the river.

“Don’t think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it.” Summer repeated to herself.

“I think I know how to help with that.” Raven walked over to Summer, gave her a kiss, then walked into the water. Needless to say, it worked. Soon, after Clover and Summer caught another fish, too small to dethrone Qrow, Raven striked, and reemerged with two fish in hand, one big enough to take the lead. “We learned lots of things back when we were a part of that traveling tribe. Some of us learned better than others.” Suavely, she tossed the smaller fish back into the water and replaced the fish in her bucket with the bigger one as Summer cheered her on.

Sibling rivalry mode was in full swing among the pair. Mostly in silence, they continued their contest. Qrow managed to catch a bigger one, but was dethroned by Clover, which he didn't mind. Meanwhile, poor Summer remained in last place. She was starting to lose hope, until something that seemed particularly big got hooked onto her pole. By then, Raven and Summer had left the water and had packed up most of the stuff. She fought with it, slowly but surely making progress. However, as she was fighting the fish standing up, she slipped, sending her into the center of the river, where it was deepest. Summer had lost her rod, but had fortunately felt someone tug her back to the surface. As she broke the surface, she gasped for air.

“Oh Raven, my love, you saved me. That’s what a real knight in shining armor is like Qrow!” Her eyes still closed and cradled in a set of arms, she moved to give her savior a kiss, but felt something that something was off, and stopped. “Wait a minute…” she reached for the chest area and gave a light squeeze. They were thick, nowhere as plump as Raven’s, but thicker than Qrow’s. She knew that it could only mean one thing. She rubbed her eyes and opened them to face Clover.

“A real knight in shining armor huh?” he asked smugly. She gave a small scream and squirmed about, falling back into the water.

“None of you saw or heard any of that!” she yelled, pointing a finger at all of them. Her heart dropped when she saw Qrow on shore, holding his phone, the camera light on. “Oh gods no.”

“I did say it wasn’t over, remember? This’ll make for a great video to show everyone.”

“You monster!” she yelled as she pretended to try to drown the man, though that would be difficult, considering he practically grew up in water. Meanwhile, Clover was laughing and Qrow was laughing as he ran from Raven who was trying to steal his phone so she could protect her wife’s honor by deleting the video. However, their antics were interrupted.

“Mom! Uncle Qrow! Look what Blake caught!” Yang shouted from down the river. In the distance, they could make out what looked to be a large fish.

“Holy fuck...” Qrow stated in awe.

“Don’t tell me...” said Raven, also awestruck. “Hey!” she shouted at Clover and Summer. “Meet us down the river with the kids. You’ll want to see this!”

“Oh boy...” Clover knew that with this family, it was bound to be something interesting, to say the least. He and Summer swam over, seeing the figure Blake had dragged in becoming clearer and clearer. They could also see Raven checking Blake to make sure she was alright as Qrow untangled the line from the caught fish.

“No. Way. “They both said in unison. Once they reached shallow enough water, They ran to confirm that Blake was alright, and that she had indeed caught the fish that threw Summer into the water. Blake’s shyness was evident as her friends showered her with praise.

“Blake! Where did you learn to do that!? That was amazing!” asked Yang, proud of her best friend.

“That, its nothing.” she shied away, pushing her wet hair out of her face and turning her head to hide a blush. “I’ve been doing it with my mom since I was young. Really, it’s nothing spectacular.”

“Hey, don’t sell yourself short kid, that thing’s half your size. That’s nothing to sneeze at.” said Qrow. He had had low self esteem for a long time, and wasn’t about to let any of the kids put themselves down.

“That is very incredible Blake, but try not to do that again without letting us know. We just don’t want anything bad to happen.” clover explained.

“Yes, of course, I’ll be sure to let one of you know next time.” she stated.

“You do know what this means, right Blake?” asked Summer.

“Uhh, no?”

“It means you won our fishing contests silly! You caught the biggest fish! You Win!” Blake was confused at first when she was picked up by Raven and placed on her shoulder.

“That also means you get to lead the victory parade, little champion.”

“Ooh, mom, pick me up too!” Yang exclaimed. She wasn’t going to refuse. She had seen how close the little champion and her daughter were getting. It brought her comfort to know her daughter would be with such a strong person. Once the equipment and dinner packed and ready for transport, they marched back to their campsite, the children shouting Blake’s name as she was carried in front.

“Damn, what are the Belladonnas feeding her?” Clover wondered.

“Pure protein, by the looks of it.” Summer replied.

“Well, at least she’s alright.” Qrow said.

“Yeah.” agreed Summer and Clover.

The sun was beginning to set by the time they returned. By then, they were all beginning to feel tired and hungry once more. Tai and Clover made sure to make the fish mouth watering delicious. The served the first piece to Blake, whose mouth was watering at the sight. While the kids ate and Yang retold the story of how her bff caught the beat, the adults chatted some more. After dinner, they all roasted marshmallows and told scary stories. If anyone had asked Clover if he had yelped and grabbed onto his husband’s arm when an ominous howl coincided with the climax of Tai’s scary story, he would say it didn’t happen. Everyone else would beg to differ, especially Qrow. As it got later, the fire died and the kids who wanted to sleep outside retired to a tent, while the kids who wanted to sleep inside retired to the RVs. While there was room for the adults in the RV, they wanted to appreciate the cool air and beautiful night sky.

“Hey, Clover?”

“Yes, my Lucky Charm?”

“It’s been a nice day with you, and them.” Clover hummed in agreement.

“It has. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.” They laid together in comfortable silence for a moment more, taking in the starry sky through their clear-topped tent.

“Beautiful view, isn’t it?” Qrow asked. Clover turned to face him. His deep crimson eyes shone a unique brilliance that was incomparable to anything else. Qrow had just looked so serene in the light of the moon and stars and the darkness of the night. Clover found himself enamored.

“Most beautiful sight in the world, if I must say.”

“Clover, I swear, if you’re─” he stopped mid sentence as he turned his head to see Clover staring right at him, obviously caught up in admiring his dark-haired husband. Qrow softly smiled back. Together, they silently admired each other.

“You know, I do think of you and your family as the best thing to ever happen to me. Never had a big family, and I’m pretty much all I have from my side of the family now. I guess I just appreciate you and your family a lot.”

“Our family, Lucky Charm.”

“Hmm?” Clover said, surprised.

“Our family. You’re as much a part of it as anyone else here, and we all love you just the same too.” Bewildered. Clover couldn’t think of a response. He was so used to the loneliness that he hadn’t really considered he could be a part of a family again. He moved closer to hug Qrow, who readily accepted him. He buried his head into the crook of his shoulders. And Clover wasn’t going to lie. He was crying a little. However, Qrow’s scent helped comfort him, as well as Qrow stroking his hair and the knowledge that he had a family.

“I love you Qrow.” Clover’s voice came out a tad strained, though it was almost undetectable.

“I love you too Clover.” With Qrow humming a song, Clover fell into a peaceful sleep. Soon after, Qrow fell asleep to the calm rise and fall of his husband’s chest. In this sleep, Clover had a dream, though he only remembered an image from it. Tai, Summer, and Raven were in it, as well as all the kids, albeit slightly older. Qrow was standing right beside him, their hands intertwined. In between them were two children who he could not discern. Yet, he felt happy, he felt like he was where he belonged, he felt love.

#fair game #fairgameweek2020 #qrow branwen #clover ebi #rwby

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