#Riker and Kirk with their bastards

[professionallydeadinside]

Ok bestie what fankid is the captain in your fankid crew mines a picard kid named K and she is a chaotic bastard who cries every time she sees her parents because she loves them and misses them when shes on a ship

Okay turns out I literally did not write it down or I'm just searching the wrong thing in our discord chats but I'm pretty sure the captain I had for my crew was my riker/worf kid! She's a real Captain Kirk type and is there to be charismatic and also to fuck around and find out on adventures wasdjhgfd

[astormyfemme]

Taking this from the lovely daystrominstitute community on the not so lovely reddit, swearing happened in TOS but social standards were different back then from reddit user whatever_befalls:

The beginning of cursing in Star Trek

As Will Riker once said, “Why don’t we start at the beginning?” The first battle over language in Star Trek happened before the series premiere, before even the original pilot was filmed. Censor Don Bay at the network’s Standards and Practices Department objected to the words “My God,” among other things, in an early draft of the script for the pilot “The Cage,” written by Gene Roddenberry, saying, “Please delete April’s ‘My God’ and substitute something such as ‘Great Scott.’” [2.] Gene Roddenberry fought the edict on “My God,” arguing that the words weren’t used in a profane sense [3.], but he evidently failed. The words are absent from the dialogue in “The Cage” and from any episode of TOS. He would be more successful the first time he fought over a real curse word in a script.

While “hell” is technically not the first curse word that made it to the screen in TOS [4.], it was apparently the first one to do so that mattered to anyone. In the first season episode “The City on the Edge of Forever,” which originally aired on April 6, 1967 [5.], the last line in the episode is “Let’s get the hell out of here.” Although it’s considered mild by most people today, in the sixties “hell” used as a curse word was thought to be a stronger word [6.]. Director Joseph Pevney remembers the fight to keep the line in the script, “Kirk said, ‘Let’s get the hell out of here,’ and there were objections from the Network. Roddenberry had a meeting with them and said, ‘There is no other word which conveys the emotion of the moment.’ Of course, Bill [Shatner] fought for it, too. We all wanted it because it sounded so great.” [7.] Roddenberry and Shatner won. In subsequent episodes McCoy would use the expression “hell for leather” (“Spectre of the Gun”) and Jojo Krako would wonder, “How the hell'd I get here?” (“A Piece of the Action”).

The TOS movies (Star Trek I-VI) further expanded the Star Trek vocabulary. Without the Standards and Practices Department that had restrained the television series, the movies had much more freedom to use curse words. The six movies had more than 20 times as many instances of curse words as the TV series [EDIT: TOS] and they could use stronger language. In WOK McCoy tells Kirk, “This is about you flying a goddamn computer console…” In SFS he calls Spock “That green-blooded son of a bitch” and Kirk repeatedly uses the words “Klingon bastard.” McCoy snaps at Kirk, “You piss me off” in TFF and Kirk, who still calls Klingons “bastards,” declares to Spock, “I ought to knock you on your goddamn ass!” In TUC Scotty is open with his suspicion, “I’ll bet that Klingon bitch killed her father.”

https://www.reddit.com/r/DaystromInstitute/comments/gpb1iu/cursing_has_always_been_a_part_of_star_trek_an/ and the sourced post in question for curious readers

I wish that swearing was allowed in Star Trek TOS cuz I really just need someone to say "what the fuck" sometimes

[pointless-letters]

CHALLENGE: Picard says "merde" a few times. Data says "shit" once. Riker and Kirk both say "bastard" (well, Kirk says bastard and Riker says bastards, but you get the idea). Chief O'Brien says "bollocks". Doctor McCoy is a bottomless pit of "hells" and "damns". The Da Vinci hologram on Voyager says "dick" in Italian once. So do we have any advance on shit, hell, damn, bastard, bollocks and dick?

[reginaldqueribundus]

Worf also died like 2 other times on TNG, one time Q killed him with a bunch of US civil war soldiers and Riker brought him back with Q powers, and I think he technically also died during the surgery from that whole stupid barrel thing but came back because Klingons can reroll death saves or something

there's also Elnor, who got shot dead in the Evil Federation timeline but then Q brought him back too

Neelix, if I recall correctly, got fried in a shuttle accident or something like that. Seven revived him with nanoprobes, accidentally disproving his religion and causing him to have a whole existential crisis about it.

I hadn't even thought of Kirk on the Enterprise-B as a death, but I guess the Nexus is kind of the afterlife! Luckily it has a fire exit but then he got a bridge dropped on him :( (in the Shatnerverse novels I think the Romulans bring him back to life with modified Borg nanoprobes or something)

speaking of novels, the old novelverse did Janeway real dirty. she got eaten by a fucked up Borg cube, turned into a Borg Queen and then exploded and thus missed the Great Big Borg Invasion which was then blamed on her because her future self messed with time. supposedly her death was a “fixed point” in the multiverse (excuse me, the Doctor would like a word and I don't mean the EMH) but Q's kid brought her back anyway in one of the Voyager novels.

Data takes the cake though, they killed that poor bastard like 3 times. according to the Jean-Luc Picard Show, after the whole Scimitar thing Bruce Maddox apparently used “nanoscopic fragments of Data's neurons” or whatever to reconstruct his mind inside a simulation. when Picard found him Data was like hey can u plz euthanize me and Picard said ok but then they found this other android that Noonien Soong's human son who's never been mentioned or alluded to before had put Data's mind inside along with all of B4 and Lore and Lal's memories, and then Data and Lore were fighting for control and Lore one by basically eating Data but by absorbing Data's entire life he became Data?? so now he's out there running around as Data and Lore I guess. but mostly Data.

Gray is another complex example, the Tal symbiote carried his memories into Adira but then he kept hanging around as a psychic memory ghost, which the holo-simulation on the Khieth somehow turned into an actual hologram and then they sucked him out of Adira with a syringe and put him in a robot body and he became a therapist which seems…very fitting

Leslie is a funny case cuz they straight up forgot he died and he just showed up in later episodes (though supposedly there was a deleted scene in “Obsession” where a magic potion brought him back to life)

Scotty & McCoy were brought back by the same methods that killed them — Kirk yelled at Nomad until it hit Undo on killing Scotty and the Shore Leave planet has mechanisms to “fix” guests it accidentally murders. which seems like more work than just making the illusions nonlethal, but whatever. Would be nice if Six Flags could just sew your head back on after a rollercoaster decapitates you I guess.

Spock only worked because of his proximity to one-of-a-kind experimental tech and the foresight to leave a backup copy of his soul inside McCoy plus a mystical ritual from the Vulcan equivalent of the Epic of Gilgamesh but Kelvin Kirk just needed a shot of Magical Khan Blood. really should keep a vial of that stuff in case of an emergency, Leonard!!

Picard I think technically also died that time his artificial heart exploded but presumably Q brought him back for totally hetero reasons and then yeah he died of Bad Brain Syndrome but they put him in an android body that conveniently looks and acts exactly like a 90-year-old man. this was an important plot point eventually because (spoilers for Picard S3) it turned out his BBS was actually Borg mutations and the Borg / rogue changelings used it in their evil plans

Shaxs is really funny bcuz we have no idea how he came back just that it involves something called “the Black Mountain”

Culber is also hilarious to me, CBS realized they'd made a mistake murdering one of their first two gay characters Paul manifested him by missing him really hard and then Tilly's imaginary friend from the mushroom dimension rebuilt his body out of mushrooms and with a shredded six-pack. death only made him hotter! and then he got in a fight with the guy who killed him

however I would argue O'Brien counts since a) he literally went into the future and died from the radiation poisoning that was making him time travel to begin with and his future self had to go back and take his place but also b) it's O'Brien

"You never forget your first death"

Okay so off the top of my head...

Scotty (killed by Nomad)

McCoy (killed by Shore Leave planet)

Leslie (killed by cloud monster)

Spock (died in engineering)

Kirk (Prime, died on the Enterprise-B)

Kirk (Kelvinverse, died in engineering)

Worf (falls off a balcony)

Data (destroyed on the Scimitar)

Dax (hosts have died multiple times)

Neelix (can't remember tbh)

Stamets (remembers every death on Discovery time loop)

Culber (neck snapped)

Gray (ship hit by asteroid)

Picard (artificial heart failure)

Picard (Irumodic Syndrome)

Shaxs (died saving the Cerritos)

Boimler (blown up)

And they all came back.

Also, Harry Kim, Miles O'Brien and Phillipa Georgiou were killed and replaced with duplicates from other times and realities but that doesn't really count. Plus duplicates of the entire Voyager crew died and there have been time loop episodes where the Enterprise-D and Discovery were destroyed over and over. But they don't remember those except Stamets on Discovery.

And that's just in TV and movies! Did I miss any?

[thesearchofthingstointrigue]

@fluorescentbrains, considering Q dropped off his son with Aunt Kathy and all the aunts and uncles of Voyager by extension to "shape him up" so to speak when he had difficulty handling his son, he at least put in effort.

Also you missed Absentee Dad James Tiberius "Probably-Has-Other-Bastard-Children" Kirk and his son Dr. David Marcus, Will Riker's Dad who had a fling with Dr. Pulaski, Ben Sisko's Dad Joseph (probably someone to be ranked just after Ben, honestly), and Daddy Archer (Jonathan's Dad).

star trek dads ranked by goodness at being a dad

Benjamin Sisko. (duh.) loves and respects his son. when he makes a bad parenting decision he learns from it and takes it to heart

Data. built a robot daughter from scratch and let her choose her own species and gender. his kid loved him so much she died :(

Sergey Rhozenko. not always fully equipped to parent a klingon but trying his best

Miles O’Brien. pretty clueless sometimes but would die for his kids and wants to be involved in their lives

Rom. he a little confused but he got the spirit. vastly improves as a dad over the years

Odo. tragically was only a dad for a few days; probably would have run into problems if his kid started getting rebellious, but he was certainly devoted

Ash Tyler. again, was only a dad for a few days but he was devoted to the concept

Worf. doesn’t really want to be a dad but wants his son to have a good one

Sarek. really loves his children but refuses to show it which fucks all of them up. Quadrant’s Okayest Dad

Q. correct me if I’m wrong because I didn’t watch that episode of voyager but I can’t imagine he was any good at parenting

Mora Pol. probably has a recurring donation to bajoran autism $peaks.

Richard Bashir. not only has a recurring donation but also had his son genetically modified to “cure” him

Dukat. only got to be a dad because he’s a rapist. malignant narcissist who only loves his daughter insofar as he had a hand in making her

Tain. tried to have his son assassinated