#Da Vinci and Dick

[illiana-mystery]

2004/2005/2006

[vagrantcallisto]

We got fucking minions during the olympic opening ceremony but no Oggy and the Cockroaches? I'm pissed.

[akosuaexe]

Christmas Book haul

[hopeworth]

if the fate franchise can perform gender fuckery on their characters then i get to make them trans

[nasuversedickgametourney]

Da Vinci-chan's sitting this tourney out because she wants it to be a fair competition between evently matched competitors instead of a steamroll

[delphi-dreamin]

Same, babes!

oh no, you are horny? you might as well do this quiz to see exactly what kind of horny you are because we all know that information is super important.

[xiaq]

No, but lets talk about this. I dug out my grad school notes and everything.

So my grandmother is acting a fool on FB (what else is new).

And I can't respond to her because I might actually give her a heart attack if I shared some of the images included below. But I wanted to rant to someone so here we are. First, yes, the drag bit at the Olympics was inspired by The Feast of the Gods, by Dutch artist Jan van Bijlert in the 1630's, not The Last Supper mural by Italian artist Leonardo da Vinci, in the 1490's. And yes, pearl-clutching Christians need to touch grass and tone down the victimization because it's getting embarrassing. I think we've established this now from multiple reputable sources.

But like. Even if the Olympics DID make a drag parody of the The Last Supper, it's SO funny that Christians are holding up that painting as some sort of ideal heterosexual conservative icon when plenty of historians (including my Renaissance art prof in grad school) are certain da Vinci was gay. The man had no documented female lovers but was arrested for sodomy with a male prostitute (though charges were later dropped). He had extremely close relationships with his secretary Salaì and pupil/friend Francesco Melzi who both traveled the world and lived with him for most of their lives and through the end of his. When he died, Melzi wrote in a letter that there was "a burning and passionate love" between them. And Salaì modeled for da Vinci all the time--let me tell you, there are some hella erotic drawings of him. Exibit A:

But maybe heterosexuals draw their bros erect all the time and label the drawings "Angel Incarnate." Maybe.

Also if Christians really want to clutch their peals, this drawing might look familiar because da Vinci created his well known John the Baptist painting based on this and other sketches of Salaì.

Well, hello. Also worth noting: there are lots of fun doodles in da Vinci's sketch books, including things like the below--two dicks with legs poking at a butthole labeled Salaì.

Do you REALLY think that this (likely queer) man would care if someone based a drag show off one of his paintings?

[floyds1fan]

Heyyy—- sooooo—— Adam from Hazbin with a shy VampireGoth! Heaven resident ? A bit like Fluttershy , kindhearted and quite artsy too- sorry if it’s too much and thank you again !!

ABSOLUTELY!!!

AdamxGn!Reader

Just pure fluff💖

SOME sexual references

I'm doing headcannons for this but if U don't want that I can gladly do scenarios if wanted!

Man....Get ready for an adventure with this rude sarcastic bastard.

Definitely calls you emo 24/7

Once he actually got to know you he started going a bitttttt gentle on ya, knowing you can be a bit flinchy and sensitive 😭

If you are artsy, definitely says "Draw me like one of your french girls"

Will wear your goth accessories or clothes...If he can fit in it is the case.

WILL GET YOU RED OR BLACK ROSES/YOUR FAVOURITE FLOWER BECAUSE HE KNOWS U LIKE THAT STUFF AND CUDDLES YOU

Sex.

Sex jokes while cuddling.

Sex jokes in general!

Calls you babe, Sugar tits, Darling

Allows you to wear his mask because it's funny

Likes it when u comb his hair and then do little braids and maybe a hairclip

Will draw with you and fail miserably and you being an absolute goddess pulling out a Leonardo Da Vinci portrait 😭

People will look at u funny because of what u wear (Normal Alt style experience right there, I've been through it) but Adam will defend the absolute SHIT outta u and will wear more clothing like that to prove others that you are absolutely STUNNING.

Will want to marry you after 4 months of dating u

Will listen to music with u A LOT.

Man loves his cuddles, He's like a big cat

You will never escape his grasp when you are cuddling.

If u need water he'll just say, "Drink your saliva, that's good enough.." while mumbling in your back or chest (or whatever position of cuddling y'all r in)

Love language is physical touch 100% and gift giving

Kissing or making out with you EVERY.CHANCE.HE.GETS.

Honestly, This man just loves you so much it's unbelievable

You're just too kind and shy and he's...A dick. Literally not much to add from that

Expects everyone in heaven to treat you the same as him.

Will write songs about you and just doing an "Epic Solo!" On his guitar

Matching bracelets 💖🙏

Gives you whatever you want.

New phone? Already there

New laptop/PC? Already there?

You want a fancy bracelet or necklace? ALREADY THERE

NOTHING CAN STOP THIS MAN.

Loyal 100%...But is he honest?...Ehhh...That's debatable.

Thanks for reading!💖

[zeravmeta]

bro traum opens with da vinci and sion having a single moment of free time to dick around and be philosophical only for every alarm to sound off and the computer telling them that this time they are absolutely fucked beyond belief the ride never ends

[roach-works]

insane that people are starting to pass around the ‘notorious pedophile roachpatrol’ shit again to warn new twitter refugees about me when i’ve been openly and blatantly a monsterfucker for my entire time here. like there isn’t a secret nefarious agenda going on. you don’t have to da vinci code my methodology based on scattered scraps of out of context pictures and phrases to prove i’m actually big horny for earth human children. like i am repeatedly reassuring everyone with my whole chest that i like aliens and monsters and women who are big enough to kill and eat me and i said some extremely dumb and poorly-phrased shit about artistic freedom like eight years ago.

i feel like if someone turns out not to be interested in hurting children, your reaction shouldn’t be incredulous rage? it should be relief? like cool there’s one less pedophile in the world than you thought there was. good job! now get off my dick already. i’m saving myself for a nine foot tall alligator woman.

[002yb]

You know, one of my favorite things about Nightwing as opposed to Red Hood is the suit differences. Dick has a whole suit made as a one piece pretty much, high tech, and as much of am independent spirit he would like to present, this suit most definitely gets work done on it in the cave and has some WayneTech in it and what have you. On the other hand, he is as much capable of modifications and engineering his own ad ons and molding windings.

Hood's "armor", can't describe it better, and his makeshift jackets, roster of helmets and masks, are extremely modified DIY stuff. He probably has some hideout with molds and electric circuits pile for all of his little exploding helmets or electrifying suits.

Imagine Jay and Dick in a moment of reprieve after a well-done drug bust or what have you, holed up with a sixpack of beer or whatever you choose, and of all places, it's literally this very hole with Hood's Tech Board where he devises his modifications, and there is a pair heavy duty hiking boots on the table in a middle of some intricate process.

And. And Dick? Of all things, in a moment of tact flown out of the window/too relaxed to register himself, remarks, how it reminds him his time as Robin, because this looks exactly like Bruce's early DIY modified suit pieces.

BAM.

[Loosely inspired by Bruce's sketchbooks and diaries from The Batman movie by Matt Reeves. Bonus points if Dick notices similar notebooks and sketches in pencil da Vinci style in Jason's hideout right on that very table and is mesmerized by them. They remind him of simpler times. He is fond, and he is smiling.

Jason? Now, there is a whirlwind of emotions on his face, right behind Dick's shoulder.]

This is so darling. Something about Dick getting all nostalgic and feeling fondness for times long past is so good. And this being a moment where he looks at Jason and sees some of the best of Bruce from those early days omg - the passion and resilience and tenacity; fortitude for days and Dick is emotions. (ಥ﹏ಥ)

Jason put in the design for Nightwing's iconic finger stripes. They were never a thing before Jaybin took a blue pen to Dick's rough designs and drew them in and Dick adores them 1) because they look good but mostly 2) because Jason

Dick designs and makes Jason something similar to batarangs and wingdings. He sneaks them onto Jason's work table alongside one of Jason's sketchbooks with a cheeky note so that Jason knows that they're called 'little wings' omgggggggggg

[savagewildnerness]

Thank you to @yeehawbicth for the suggestion!

This was kinda cathartic, GRRR! Teeheehee!

Look, if you want me to go weird, oh YEAH… I don’t have to do pretty tunes! 😇😈 Just first go improvise & here it is 🤷🏻‍♀️! The BANGS are because I was sat too close to my violin case and kept bashing my arm/bow into the case, LOLOLOL: spatial awareness of me = zero.

Armand is stood on a (beige!) cushion (A da Vinci cushion, which feels somehow apt for the vamps?)

(1) because Louis is taller enough it seemed funny otherwise &

(2) it felt both amusing & possibly a thing Armand might have to do to assert control in some sad & heartbreaking desperation were he smaller in this situation!?! AND book-Armand isn’t very tall so that adds a whole extra layer to it all!

OK, let’s try the middle a bit of this…. I had a think about it and it’s actually very hard to think about musically, because there is obviously such anger there on both sides of the fight… but it isn’t mere anger on either side… underlying the anger for Armand is love, fear, control and terror… Underlying the anger for Louis is resentment, depression, unhappiness, an apathy borne of sorrow and loss and yearning for escape and/or for Lestat (oh… and being out of his mind on Daniel’s drugs!)… and for both of them - a fear of being alone in eternity… but especially for Armand. And Louis is actively trying to hurt Armand, whereas Armand is reacting as he is hurt & is also worried for Louis, but his hurt trumps his worry in the end.

Because of this I thought it was best to do two improvisations - one for Louis and one for Armand… but I’ll do them one after the other so I’m sure you won’t tell when I move from Louis to Armand….

I partly thought it would have been better to do tomorrow when violin could have been Louis & piano, Armand… but I can’t do this scene without @torisngeli’s vampires! (Even though it’s VERY hard to look at Louis’ adorable face & Armand’s little smile & imagine either as angry! 😂) Not when Louis is literally wearing his outfit from this scene! One day I’ll try an improvise to the footage of this scene! But for today… (I wanted to stop before they moved on to Claudia as that alters the vibe…)

Also, I had to distill the feelings down further to have in my mind:

For Louis: an anger that is trying to hurt & a vast, aching sorrow of feeling trapped, a half-buried yearning longing for Lestat, though he doesn’t want to & a hopeless search for escape.

For Armand: fear, love, pain, terror & a controlled calm that won’t entirely release the depths of his anger and sorrow.

I also thought about Gremlin-Armand & the hammer of “Lestat, Lestat, Lestat…”

Louis: Oh, this is boring! You're boring! You are so boring! Colourless. Flavourless. Dull! Dull! Dull nights, dull weeks! Dull months, dull as fuck! Suffocation by the world's softest, beige-est pillow! The ten hours I spent with that boy were more exciting, more fascinating than decades with you! Oh, there it is! The half-blank, half-apocalyptic look! But what does it mean tonight, huh? Does he want to lick my boots or chop my hands off? Is it the gremlin or the good nurse tonight? Huh? Okay, Okay, let's wake the boy up and let's try you. "I'm the vampire Armand and my daddy vampire groomed me into a little bitch. Vampires who murdered my Daddy made me pretend I didn't have a dick for 240 years.

Armand: Okay. Okay, perhaps. But am I as boring as the blather committed onto the ferric tapes of your fascinating boy? "Oh, it's so, so hard to be me. It's so hard to kill humans. I can feel their feelings as I drain them. Everyone I know wrongs me. My brother, he tossed himself off a roof! My sister, she buried me alive. My daughter was my sister was my throw pillow. “Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat." The name!! The name! Unuttered in our home for 23 years, said over and over again until it was pounding in my brain like a hammer.

[florallychaotic]

Honestly I'm okay if remedy never explains why Zane is now a filmmaker or if it's even a true retcon mainly because I think it's an interesting critique about how attached we get to an artist's specific medium. How many times will we read a bit of trivia that says, "Did you know Da Vinci was an inventor too?" Artists often are creative in multiple mediums and we see Zane describe himself as an auteur (which don't even get me started on, I will always hold to the sentiment that "auteurs" who work in film are either dicks or lying and Zane falls into both those categories).

It makes sense for Alan to associate Zane so much with being a poet because that's what he was first introduced to him as. And it makes even more sense for Zane to immediately refute that.

Or who knows. Maybe AW1 era Zane and AW2 era Zane are totally separate beings

[nasuversekinkmeme]

Weekly Roundup: Prompt reminders

TSUKIHIME

Satsuki as a harem protagonist! (preferably sfw)

Prompt: The Tsukihime Arihiko route.

guro, Can I get Arcueid and Ciel disemboweling each other and cuddling above the warm blood and guts? Romance preferred, but platonic works too.

FSN

loli, World where Illya doesn't die and her family isn't all up into her business so she can do what every 18 year girl wants, watch horror movies, drink sake, get gangbanged. The basics

MEPHISTO

castoria, chen gong, and mephistopheles face an impossible challenge: solving a problem without blowing anything or anyone up

smut, Gudako appreciates how good Mephistopheles’s cock is, visually and from a taste perspective (seriously, I bet it’s like nine inches long with a gradient on it [like the one on their arms but going from red to blue instead of from blue to red], and if you suck their dick, their cum probably tastes like strawberry yogurt).

Wholesome fluff of Mephistopheles baking brownies with Grandma Europa

Funny rivals moment: Mephistopheles teasing Archer Moriarty over how they’re technically older than him (going my their works’ release years)

i feel like mephistopheles and leonardo da vinci would make a sexy mechanical waifu doll out of bombs to prank blackbeard at least once. just some absolutely looney tunes shit.

smut, Mephistopheles uses Afterimage to gangbang virgin!reader. Bonus points for Mephistopheles having a rapid weight gain kink, and EXTRA bonus points for (this part is the most important) genderfluid Mephistopheles

smut, Castoria gangbang. Can be named characters, can be a mob, I don't care I need this girl to be the protagonist of an orgy. Bonus points if you get her covered in and/or filled with cum. Dubcon is ok, but no straight-up noncon please!

OTHER FGO

smut, I need more Dom!Guda. Doesn’t matter who subs.

anything bartholomew/guda please,, can be either smut or fluff, i just want more content of this pirate man

Goredolf/Koyanskaya? Can be smut, can be pre canon, post canon, pining, angst, anything you want! I'm just FASCINATED by the fact that this guy almost got murdered by her like three times yet have enough leftover love to hang onto the lipstick she gave him

incest, hi you know that bit in oberons valentines scene where he implies hes going to ask his caesar for money cause hes his dad in the play hes from yeah its ruining my life can i have some oberon/caesar to alleviate my hysteria about it how far you lean into the incest side of things is your prerogative but i need this its killing me

Shimousa Kiyohime gets mixed into Proper Human History Kiyohime's spirit origin and she suddenly finds herself Very Attracted To Musashi

Hi can I get uhh extremely unethical knifeplay from a Mister Hyde please? With some blood to drink? Thank you! Dubcon or Noncon is fine!

in fgo, kirei doesn't have magic resistance , so gudako could use her command seals to force him to wear a playboy bunny leotard , or model for a sexy fireman calendar. there's endless possibilities when it comes to doing lewd things to yorokobe man with the help of command seals~!

smut, if anyone feels like making like the first piece of actual content i can find wherein xu fu and yu mei-ren fuck that'd be swell. not like in a weird cruel twist or ntr thing way just xu fu getting dicked down and having a good time

[madxscientist]

being moots with crazy good artists will never not be insane to me. im here drawing dicks on a wall and fucking leonardo da vinci posts his third gioconda this month acting like it's just another day

[nimblermortal]

Hyacinth Has Gotten a Turtle Laid

So there's this box turtle that stopped by a few years ago, and Hyacinth got very excited and came running up to the kitchen for some fruit to feed it. And then, a few days later, it came back! So Hyacinth needed more fruit! And before long Hyacinth had a pet turtle that showed up at a pretty regular time expecting fruit, and considers him the fruit source, to the extent that if he puts the fruit too far away it will make its way to him instead of the fruit.

It's apparently a recognizable turtle in that it has some sort of facial scarring, which is perhaps why he's so certain that there are two turtles involved in this story.

It disappeared for a while following the advent of Tea's dog staying with us, so he was excited when it came back. Most recently he pulled out an entire, slightly overdone tomato for it, which was roughly the same size as the turtle, and the turtle managed to eat half of it. Impressive work!

Then he comes upstairs and tells me, there's another box turtle outside. I expect him to raid the fridge for blueberries, but no - he informs me that he's pretty sure it's digging a nest in the dick*, and as such he will not be delivering food until it is comfortably finished with the task.

He is now excitedly looking up box turtle facts (a single mating can produce fertile eggs for 4 years! the predominant sex of the turtles in the nest is determined by nest temperature!), and I am concluding that the vigor and flush of health caused by regular addition of exotic fruits to this turtle's diet has resulted in it getting laid.

Well done, turtle wingman Hyacinth. Well done.

*a few years ago we had a drainage problem (sinkhole) and Hyacinth heroically dug the sinkhole out and made a ditch so that water could flow over the mountainside. This made a hole roughly the shape of a dick (da Vinci style, not modern). His heroism did not extend to finding gravel and refilling the dick.