#Ricky can probably get it too if I’m being honest

[whatsnewalycat]

Julian from Trailer Park Boys is a fucking hottie idc

[tearfallpixie]

Trust and Love - Side Chapter: Accidents and Acceptance

Tags: @nerdraging4point0 @thesazzb @synthetic-wasp-570 @circle-with-me @beaker1636 @itsjustemily @witchyweeb34 @agravemisstake @cookiesupplier @cncohshit @faceless-mirror @nonamessblog @yournecessaryevil @black-damask1999

@lyschko666 @vinyardmauro @skulliecadaver-blog @some-daniela @latenightmusiclover @rye14-blog1 @somewhere-diamond @Shilohrosechicken @abiomens @awkwardalex @rumoured-whispers @miss570

“I’m sorry that we have to leave you mama.” Vinny murmured. “You’ll be joining us in a few days though when tour starts. It wont be long.” I hugged Vin tight as a few tears slipped my eyes.

“I just hate being parted from you two.” I sniffled.

“I know. Just a couple of days and you’ll see us again.” I nodded as his thumbs brushed my cheeks to wipe the tears away. “No tears mama. You know I hate it when you cry.” The announcement for Vinny’s flight to board sounded and I started to pull away. “Come on, one kiss.” He teased. “I can’t leave without a proper goodbye.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him down to kiss me soundly.

“Fly safe. I love you.”

“I love you too mama.” He picked up his bag and kissed the back of my hand before heading to the terminal and disappearing down the hall. I waited until the plane took off before heading back to the car and going back to our empty house. I sighed and hung my keys up as my phone rang. I looked at it to see Ricky was calling me.

“Hi baby, how are you? Vinny’s on the plane.” I greeted him.

“I figured as much. Have you been on twitter?” He said in a stiff voice.

“No, what happened?” I asked slowly.

“I sent you a post. Go look at it.” I pulled the phone away from my head and clicked on the twitter icon. I went to my messages and clicked on the one Ricky sent me only to gasp. It was a tweet tagging Ricky and attached to the tweet was a very clear pic of Vinny and I kissing.

“Fuck. We were out of the way. I thought no one could see us!” I exclaimed. “Ricky, I’m so sorry.”

“Baby girl, its ok.” He chuckled. “I figured something like this was going to happen sooner or later. None of us have been very careful. Now the question is how do we proceed? We should probably tell the fans because judging by the 9 thousand likes and counting on the photo, we can’t just cover this up and ask the person to remove it.” Ricky suggested.

“Can you and Vinny skype me tonight? We can all discuss it together.” Ricky nodded and looked at the time. “Tell him when he lands. He should be with you in two hours. He’s going to feel horrible.”

“I’ll take care of him and we’ll talk tonight. I love you baby girl.” Ricky said.

“I love you too baby.”

~

Vinny did not handle the news well and apologized to Ricky a thousand times when the guitarist picked him up. Ricky grabbed his arm and had to haul him to the car to get him to leave the airport.

“Vin, it’s ok.” Ricky repeated again. “You deserve to say goodbye to her too when you leave. We’re going to skype her tonight and discuss what we are going to do. It’s not going to be that big of a deal.” They got to the hotel in record time and headed up to their room for the next few days. Ricky picked up his laptop from the bed and set it on the desk, opening skype immediately as Vinny put his stuff away. “Hey, baby girl. Vin’s in the bathroom.” He said when I answered. The drummer popped his head out and waved to the camera.

“Looks like we caused a little bit of drama while I was flying mama.” Vinny snickered.

“Looking at the 21 thousand likes I would say so.” I giggled. “So what do you want to do? I agree with Ricky that we need to be honest with the fans. I’m just worried how they will take it. I’ve already seen hundreds of tweets calling me a whore and a cheater.” I grumbled.

“Baby girl, stop reading them. They will only make things worse.” I sighed and nodded.

“Why don’t you grab my streaming gear and fly out here and we can do an impromptu stream tomorrow to explain everything.” Vinny suggested.

“Everything? Even you two?” I asked in shock.

“It might make things a little easier to swallow knowing that it isn’t just Vinny with you and you with me.” Ricky pondered.

“But the band doesn’t even know about you two.” The only person that had given any indication that they new about Ricky and Vinny’s relationship was Finnick, Vinny’s old roommate.

“Well they are about to find out.” Vinny snickered.

“Are you two prepared for the backlash we are going to get because its inevitable.” Ricky asked. “Between people going to be pissed that she gets both of us and calling her a whore or calling us greedy its going to be bad for a while.”

“As far as I’m concerned, our decisions are all I care about. I married both of you knowing this might be a possibility down the line so I am willing to put up with anything.” I told them.

“Same here. I’m not ever letting some stupid fans get between us.” Vinny confirmed.

“Good. Vinny and I will lay low for a while and we will have Logan pick you up from the airport. Don’t go making out with him too. We have enough chaos to deal with here.” Ricky teased.

“I make no promises. His blond hair is so pretty.” I giggled.

“Good night baby girl.” Ricky rumbled.

“Night you two. I love you.”

“We love you too Mama.” I closed my laptop and went to pack up the necessities for Vinny to stream in my bag. I crawled in my big empty bed and tossed and turned for an hour before I was able to get somewhat comfortable. I wasn’t use to sleeping alone anymore because usually I had at least one of my boys with me.

~

“Logan.” I walked over to him, and he pulled me into a hug.

“Hey little miss. I thought you weren’t supposed to come out for a few days and then Ricky said there was drama and you needed to come out now. Is everything ok?” He asked. I pulled out my phone and showed him the tweet as I pulled my bag off the baggage claim. “Got it.”

“I thought we were out of sight of people but apparently, I was wrong. We’re doing a big stream announcement this afternoon to explain it to the fans. They currently hate me for hurting their precious Ricky.” I giggled. We started walking out to the parking lot shoulder to shoulder.

“Like they know the ins and outs of his feelings.” He scoffed. “They are lucky you are willing to explain this to them.” I rolled my eyes and agreed with him.

“It will also paint Vin in a bad light if we don’t confront the rumors because he is stealing his best friends wife.” I offered.

“That’s fair. Lets get you back to your boys so you can deal with this.” We loaded up and headed to the hotel where Ricky and Vinny were waiting for me in the lobby. They immediately pulled me into their arms and held me tightly.

“I’ve missed you baby girl.” Ricky murmured. He had been gone for a week before Vinny left so he could visit his family before the tour so I hadn’t seen him for a bit. He pulled me into a kiss and I noticed a flash from the side. We pulled away to see a couple of fans outside the hotel taking pics. “Let them think what they want. It will be cleared up soon.”

“I missed you too Ricky. I don’t like being parted.” I mumbled.

“Next time you two are going to come with me to Washington and I will explain everything to my parents in detail.” They had come to the wedding and they had met me on several occasions but they didn’t know the nature of our relationship with Vinny. They just thought he was our roommate for the time being. We all entered the room and I handed my carry on to Vinny.

“I brought the streaming stuff on the plane with me because I didn’t want it to get damaged under the other luggage.” I explained. He pulled me into a deep kiss.

“You are a fucking angel. Let me set up.” He started setting up and leveling the equipment, so it was balanced and an hour later we were all set up. “Ok Ricky. Attach your computer and pull up twitch. I’ll log in and we can start.” Vinny went to put on some actual clothes seeing as he was still in his sleep shirt and sweats. When he came back he was in his signature cargo pants and baggy shirt. He logged into his account and waved us off to the side so we were out of camera. He kicked on the stream and sat there as he posted it to his social media accounts, allowing people to get on. Ricky clicked the link on his phone and shared it to his as well.

@Rickyolsonx: Hey guys, Vin has a huge announcement in this stream. You should check it out. [link attached]

“Hey guys, I know surprise stream and I’m obviously not in my house right now. It will all be explained here in a bit. I won’t be answering any questions until more people are here.” He said to the growing crowd. Ricky and I watched his phone with a frown as people were saying mean things to him about hurting Ricky and kissing me. I could tell it was bothering him.

“Ricky is advertising my stream? There is a reason for that.” It was a few minutes later when there were easily a thousand people in the stream. “Ok, I think I can start explaining. Look, the photo is not faked. It was real and I did kiss Olive. However, it isn’t what you think.” He looked around at us and jerked his head. We moved into the camera and waved awkwardly. Ricky knelt next to the desk as Vinny pulled me into his lap. I watched as the chat went crazy with hello’s and questions.

“Guys, to clarify, I am very aware of their relationship.” Ricky started out. I noticed Chris in the chat and pointed it out to Vinny and Rick who grinned. “Well it looks like he’ll find out then.”

“I bet the band is watching with him.” Vinny grinned.

ChrisCMotionless: Should I get them?

“Probably. We’re about to drop a bombshell that even you guys don’t know about.” Ricky answered him.

ChrisCMotionless: I’m worried now. Let me get the other boys.

“This just got a whole lot more interesting.” Vinny mumbled. Ricky pulled out his phone and pulled up the camera.

"Update, I'm here in Vinny's stream, we're gonna talk about what's been going on." He turned to show the stream before he ended the video and posted it to his social media.

ChrisCMotionless: Ok they are here.

“Ok, let us explain. Yes I kissed Olive yesterday in the airport. That is because she and I are in a relationship.” Vinny started.

ChrisCMotionless: Oh, big shock.

“Watch it Cerulli or we’ll mute you, asshole.” Ricky snapped playfully.

BeeforV: So you two are dating but shes married to Ricky?

“BeeforV, yes exactly. We are in a poly relationship. Ricky and her have been together for almost two years. I’ve been with her for about a year and few months. But the part that the band doesn’t know about is that-“ Vinny trailed off and part of me thought he was getting cold feet. I looked at him to see him frowning.

“Vin, you ok?” Ricky asked, touching his arm.

“Listen here Brady, you little shit.” Vinny snarled to chat. “I don’t care what your opinion is of our relationship. The only opinion that matters is Ricky’s, Olivia’s and mine. But I will not have you calling her a whore just because you don’t like how we handle our lives. Mods get rid of him and anyone that says anything disrespectful about her, Ricky or me.” He clung to me a little tighter and buried his nose into my neck to help him calm down.

NicholeMotionless: Vinny being protective and all cuddly of Olive is adorable.

Willinmotionless: So what was the other thing you were going to share.

Vin let out a little growl making Ricky chuckle. He stood up and pulled the extra chair up next to us.

“Are you ok to keep going Vin?” Ricky asked softly. Vin shrugged and didn’t make a move to pull away from me. “The other bomb shell we were going to drop was that-“ Ricky took a deep breath, “Vinny and I are also together.” The chat went insane and for a minute none of us could read a single message. I could tell Vinny was peaking at the chat from my neck but otherwise we all stayed quiet. I tried to see if there were any messages from Chris but I couldn’t catch his name.

“Guys, I love Olivia and Vinny with everything in me. If it weren’t for a fan catching their kiss yesterday, you would not know about this. However, I won’t have her or him attacked because of our relationship.” Ricky told the chat.

ChrisCMotionless: You and Vin? That shouldn’t surprise me at all. The entire crew is happy for you three.

I let out a sigh of relief and pointed out the message. I could tell that Vinny relaxed after seeing it too because he started to sit up.

“Thank you, Chris. It means a lot. We’ll come talk to you after the stream.” Vinny said.

“I don’t know what more there is to say. I love you both and that’s what this was about. To just explain the kiss yesterday. No one is cheating on anyone, and we are all happy together. If you can’t support us and our relationship then forget the band. Because I guarantee you, Chris, Justin and Ryan will support these boys to the end of their careers.” I finally spoke.

ChrisCMotionless: Got that fucking right. Their happiness is more important to us than anything.

“We love you guys. And we hope you support us.” Ricky said to the camera.

KitKatCathy: Can we see you kiss before you leave?

“I’m pretty sure you have definitely seen me and Olive kiss before.” Ricky teased before pulling me into a sweet kiss. Vinny shifted until he was sitting a little straighter and pulled me into a kiss too. The chat was spammed with ‘awes’ and people calling us cute.

“I think they’ll get mad if you two don’t amuse them too.” I giggled. Both Ricky and Vinny looked at each other with wide eyes.

“No, I’m sure they don’t-“ The chat spammed with confirmation, halting Vinnys words in his throat.

“The fans want what they want.” Ricky shrugged. I bounced off of the drummer’s lap and moved back to the bed. I could tell they were hesitant, and it made me giggle a little.

“Ricky just kiss your boyfriend already.” I laughed. He glanced back at me before rolling his eyes and grabbing Vinnys neck and pulling them together. The kiss was sweet at first until Vinny’s hands grabbed Rickys shirt and pulled him closer. I glanced down at Rickys phone that we had abandoned on the bed to see the chat losing their shit until it froze and the stream crashed. “Hey you two? You broke stream. Literally.” Vinny and Ricky pulled away from each other and looked at the computer. They both slumped into their seats in shock and stared at it for a few minutes.

“Wow.” Vinny finally uttered. I snuck up behind them.

“By the way, that kiss was hot.” Both of them jumped and looked back at me. I giggled and dashed away as they both tried to leap out of their chairs and grab me. We chased each other around the room for a few minutes until the door opened and Chris walked in. I dashed behind him and grabbed his jacket. “Chris protect me!” I begged.

“Chris.” Ricky said dangerously. “Give us the instigator.”

“Who?” Chris smirked. Justin had gotten up behind me and went to grab my waist, but Chris swung us around and faced him, looping an arm around me to keep me behind him. “Don’t.” He said sharply.

“Right. You don’t like to be touched. I’m so sorry Olive!” Justin freaked out.

“It’s ok. Thank you for stopping him, Chris. Justin, I don’t blame you. It’s easy to forget.” Familiar hands grabbed my waist and pulled me back into a firm chest.

“Think you are funny?” Vinny asked quietly in my ear. He pulled me into a kiss before we all moved to sit around the room. I found myself sitting in-between Ricky and Vinny on the bed as Chris sat on the end of the bed and Justin and Ryan took the chairs.

“So why didn’t you tell us that you two were together? I mean we are pretty accepting.” Chris questioned. Vinny and Ricky looked at each other before looking back at the band.

“We don’t know. We didn’t really think about it. Before we were both dating Liv it was more of just us fooling around and using each other as stress relief.” Vinny explained.

“Then all that shit happened with her ex, we made the decision to move in together and when she wasn’t with us, we still gravitated to each other at night.” Ricky continued. “Our relationship has always been more about Olive than each other. We only started dating each other about a month before we proposed actually.”

“I’m sorry you guys had to come out like this.” Ryan said honestly.

“We talked about it last night. We had a feeling something like this would happen so we aren’t too torn up about it. We just hope the fans are understanding.” Ricky brushed it off.

“The response seemed pretty positive on chat.” Justin offered.

“I guess time will tell. This is going to affect the band though. Our fans might turn, our monthly listeners might drop. We will get hounded from all sides.” Ricky pointed out.

“It doesn’t matter. Do we support them?” Chris asked Ryan and Justin who immediately said yes. “Then whatever happens we handle it together. You three are our family and that’s more important than any fans we will ever have.” Ricky moved to the end of the bed and wrapped Chris in a hug, quickly joined by Justin, Ryan and Vinny. Vinny looked at me and held out his hand.

“They are safe.” He murmured. I grinned and took his hand to be pulled into the hug. These were my family and I wouldn’t trade them for the world. In that moment I couldn’t ask for a better group of people to call mine.

[goayda]

Not My Place to Say - Part 3/3

Third (and last, I think) part of a Stizzy fic. Second part can be found here:

(As usual, set some time after 2x07, Ed is happy being a fisherman somewhere and there was no Zheng fight and no Prince Ricky attack. As usual too, no warnings needed, except for the fluffiest fluff.)

Bonnet had politely waved him in and Izzy had walked into the cabin more confused than he had ever been before. Besides having just noticed the now painfully obvious similarities between Lestat and Bonnet, his mind was still reeling from Sprigg’s stupid words.

Because it was just a stupid idea, clearly, Bonnet being jealous? He was annoyed, that much was obvious, but that must be all. Izzy just had to discover what exactly had bothered the captain and then try to fix it before it could mess their relationship even more.

Bonnet was his captain now, but surely he didn’t expect to have a say in the first mate’s dalliances. Not even Edward had- no, better not go there, Izzy thought, because the truth was that Edward had never been bothered by who Izzy spent the night with because he had never cared. It was surprising and silly that this thought could hurt him, even after everything-

“…Izzy?”

Bonnet’s voice startled him and Izzy realized the captain had been talking to him, but he had been too wrapped up in his own thoughts to hear a thing.

“I was saying if you would want to have some tea with me,” Bonnet repeated with a soft smile that faltered when Izzy simply stared at him without answering. “Unless you’ve already had breakfast, of course,” he added then, looking slightly uncomfortable. “And I know you’d probably prefer a cup of coffee anyway, tea is probably not your thing-“

“It’s fine,” Izzy finally found himself saying. “Tea is fine. Thank you.”

Bonnet nodded, smiling lightly again and poured two cups of tea and Izzy sat there at the table, looking at his cup while thinking how the hell he was going to start that conversation when Bonnet cleared his throat and squared his shoulders as he looked straight at him.

“I wanted to apologize, Izzy,” he started, seriously. “I’ve been rude to you for no good reason and I was bringing the mood down when this shore leave was supposed to be a good time for everybody.”

Izzy stared wide-eyed at him, not used to a captain apologizing, especially for something as trivial as this, but before he could open his mouth to reply, Bonnet continued.

“I’m glad that-that you found somebody- well,… it looked like that man at the tavern was… nice,” he added, looking as if uttering those words was actually painful to him. “We’re still going to be here for two more days, maybe you could invite him here to have some drinks and meet the crew…”

“I don’t even know where he’s now, Bonnet,” Izzy replied flatly. “And I don’t care.”

The way Bonnet tried and failed to hide his relief almost made Izzy laugh out loud, but even as tired as he was after a sleepless night, Izzy had a reputation to uphold so he resisted the urge to even smile while he tried not to think about how Bonnet’s reaction had warmed him inside.

“We said goodbye, I don’t expect to see him again. He was just… some guy,” Izzy added after a pause, not really knowing why he felt the need to explain himself now. “I just felt lonely, I guess. And he was good company for a night.”

Bonnet’s face softened and he nodded in understanding with a sad, little smile, but then he turned serious once again.

“I guess I must be honest, Izzy. I was a bit upset last night when you left the tavern because…”

Bonnet hesitated then, looking slightly embarrassed and Izzy’s heart started thrumming in his chest wildly.

“I was worried that you weren’t going to come back,” Bonnet finally said, lowering his gaze. “I think deep down I’ve always been worried that one day you’re going to leave us for another ship, for a better crew,… for a better captain.”

Izzy gaped at him, bewildered. He hadn’t seen that coming at all.

“That’s-that’s absurd,” he blurted out, making Bonnet flinch. “I mean… leaving without a proper resignation would be totally unprofessional,” he added quite lamely.

“Well, actually, I never officially asked you to be my first mate,” Bonnet replied with a playful smirk.

That was true, Izzy realized in dismay. After Edward left he had simply kept going as usual, doing the first mate’s tasks, training Bonnet and the crew, but nobody had really asked him to be the first mate. What if they had simply let him stay out of pity? Why would they have chosen him anyway? It was not as if Oluwande couldn’t do the job, or Jim, maybe. What if he was just… tolerated on board as some old ratter dogs are because they are still useful?

Izzy’s tired mind was starting to panic, but then Bonnet, who must have noticed his inner turmoil, reached for Izzy’s ungloved hand over the table, stopping all his thoughts from spiraling any further.

“But that’s a mistake I’d like to fix right now,” Bonnet said determinedly as he squeezed Izzy’s hand briefly. “Would you want to be my first mate, Israel Hands? It would mean a lot to me if you said yes. And to the crew, it would mean a lot to all of us,” he added quickly.

Izzy stared at Bonnet’s kind eyes and wished he was better with words in situations like this. He was going to have to try, he guessed.

“Yes,” he said firmly and then he squeezed Bonnet’s hand tightly.

Bonnet’s smile was blinding.

“And you don’t have to worry about me leaving,” he added, forcing himself to be brave. “This is a good crew and you�� you’re a good captain, Stede.”

The look on the captain’s eyes, so soft and so caring, was almost too much for Izzy so he lowered his gaze to look at their intertwined hands instead.

“The tea must be getting cold,” Stede said lightly, after a few seconds of silence. “We shouldn’t let it spoil after Roach took the time to make it for us.”

And he started drinking it without letting go of Izzy’s hand. The first mate hesitated for only a moment and then took his cup with his free hand to take a sip while he tried to hide a smile.

The tea was awfully bland, of course, but Izzy couldn’t care less.

XOX

[preet-01]

f for the ask game with Jenson/daniel

F — Stuck on a Deserted Island

When Jenson had said in an interview that he wouldn’t mind being stuck on a deserted island with Daniel (well he’d said Ricky Bobby, but it’s the same thing), he hadn’t imagined it actually happening.

And if he was honest, his version of being stuck on a deserted island involved a lot of sex and fun times. It did not involve a crying Daniel because there was blood and a sprained ankle. Nor did it involve no food or shelter or way of leaving said island. This was not the sex paradise he’d been thinking of when he’d said he’d love to be stuck on a deserted island with Daniel because he knew how to have a good time.

When they make it off this island — which they will because both of them are too pretty to waste away here — Mark and Fernando are going to give him so much shit about the whole situation and how he didn’t need to find a deserted island to get Daniel back in his bed.

“You only needed to ask, he’s always gagging for it. Didn’t need to actually go to a deserted island,” Mark would say in that way where Jenson couldn’t ever figure out if Mark liked Daniel or not. Back in the day, when Daniel was the sweet rookie being corrupted by world champions, Mark tried to be the older brother figure. But time and Red Bull can change a lot of things and the whole McLaren fiasco also couldn’t have been great.

“I would just take him to bed, no need for islands. Too much sand and not enough lube,” Fernando would say. There would also probably be something about Daniel getting hurt and threatening words.

The Mark and Fernando in his head almost drown out Daniel’s whimpers of pain. Jenson had propped up the younger man against the wall of the cave they’d found. It wasn’t a large cave, but it would do for now as they gathered their wits and decided on how to proceed.

“Daniel, we’re going to be alright,” he says, wiping away the dried tears staining Daniel’s cheeks. Once he’d put a makeshift splint on Daniel’s ankle to stabilize it, Daniel’s tears had stopped, but the pain hadn’t and everyone knew Daniel hated pain. It was actually quite astonishing how much Daniel hated pain while having such a dangerous career and love for bikes.

“Are we???” Daniel questions, not quite believing him.

Which fair, Jenson had said, “what could go wrong,” when inviting Daniel to join him on the yacht and things had evidently gone very wrong.

“We are,” Jenson reassures. When they don’t dock in two days, someone will be alerted and a search will happen. If not for Jenson, then for Daniel. Red Bull made way too much money and way too many plans for Daniel to not throw everything they could at a search for them.

They would be found soon.

___

“You can’t build a fire?” Daniel asks as Jenson attempts at starting a fire. If he weren’t freezing cold, Daniel would find the look of absolute concentration on Jenson’s face cute. But he was freezing and Jenson had all but ordered him to stay where he was so he wouldn’t put too much pressure on his ankle.

“I grew up in England, Daniel,” Jenson retorts.

“That’s not an excuse,” Daniel says.

After many tries and light heckling from Daniel, Jenson builds the fire. It warms up their cave, but not by much. “I’m still cold,” Daniel whines.

And well Jenson had heard that you could conserve heat by touching bare skin. Using some large leaves they’d found earlier, they make a sort of blanket to cover the cave floor and undress — using their clothes as blankets for their bodies.

“What if I wanted to be the little spoon?” Jenson asks.

“You like my ass too much to miss out an opportunity to have it pressed up against you,” Daniel says and no more questions are asked as Jenson lays down behind Daniel, his cock finding its place.

___

Daniel’s naked on the beach, all laid out and everything, but Jenson can’t do anything. Daniel had made it clear that Jenson wasn’t fucking him without lube.

“Water is not lube, Jense,” Daniel had said when Jenson had tried to initiate something. The Fernando in his head had been right, deserted islands are no good for sex.

___

Two weeks.

It takes for them to be rescued. And as Jenson had expected, it was a search mission fully funded by Red Bull — they had plans for Daniel that didn’t include the life of a hermit on an island with the 2009 World Champion.

They’d been together for two weeks, in only one another’s company, and then nothing. Daniel had been whisked away to his family and Jenson to his.

They don’t see one another for a few weeks. Not until Daniel shows up at his apartment and shoves a bottle of lube into his hands.

Who needs an island when you’ve got a million dollar Monaco apartment with a very nice bed and copious amounts of lube at your disposal?

[kinetic-elaboration]

February 21: MSCL 1x02 Dancing in the Dark

Not many new observations, versus last week, after today’s episode of the MSCL re-watch.

I think that Angela and Patty will get on really well as adults, when Angela can see how similar they are in a lot of ways, and appreciate both her mom’s sense of humor and her… her own earnestness, how she does try, how she is trying. The things that probably seem awkward and embarrassing to Angela at 15. And I think Patty anticipates this day, too, and looks forward to it: “Pretend I’m not your mom.” / “Mom. I can’t pretend that.”

I really felt for Rickie in this episode, even though he hasn’t really come out of the chorus line yet. I think re-watching as an adult, I see more of how his story is really influenced by and defined by his sexuality. Yes, it’s obvious that he’s also got a crush on Jordan and that, unlike Angela, it will have to remain just a fantasy that gets him through his day. But the full impact of that just…hits me anew. When Rayanne says that Angela DOES want Jordan “in actuality,” but she’s just “programmed not to admit it,” she means it in a girls-need-to-hide-their-sexuality way, but it’s really more true of Rickie: he’s not allowed to admit it; he could put himself in danger by admitting it. He seems to just be parroting back the others as he’s been doing for 2 episodes. But really he’s just being honest: he understands what Angela means AND Rayanne’s admonishment has a ring of truth to it.

It was interesting to me to read that Graham and Patty were supposed to illustrate a couple who felt boxed in by gender norms and were figuring their way out from under those expectations. I do see that: Patty is Graham’s boss, Graham prefers cooking to working in the office, etc. It’s something I’d like to think about and try to look for in a more detailed way, though. Like in this episode, where Patty complains about not being able to lead in the dance (let her lead!!) and later Graham seems to complain about the same thing: always having to lead. Well—let her lead! It’s also notable to me that, even though they are adults, they get their own sort of coming-of-age arc too. Patty, like, Angela, changes her hair and for largely the same reasons. She smashes a princess doll her father gave her when she was a child. She’s ready to move on and grow and change. And Graham is still trying to figure out “what it means to be a man,” feeling stagnant in his work, sabotaging his marriage, unsure of what he’s doing with his whole life (I can relate).

Jordan definitely is already really interested in Angela… It’s odd trying to read their interactions from his point of view. She obviously challenges and confuses him, and even though she has this huge crush on him, she doesn’t just go along with him no matter what; she doesn’t do things that make her feel uncomfortable or that are unpleasant; she can’t be pressured. I feel like he hasn’t run into many people like that. (Not really saying anything new here just… am trying to see more from his POV this watch-through.)

I’ve always assumed that Brian’s reaction to the ID—“It says here she was born yesterday”—was a reference to a typo on the card, but now I wonder if maybe it was just a really deadpan joke? Jordan didn’t get it for sure.

It really pushes all my buttons to see all the connections and metaphors and the whole overall structure of the episode—how the night at Brian’s is compared to the science experiment about the hearts, how the interaction between Jordan and Angela is compared to the dance. Yes, every sentence about the hearts did seem to have two meanings and yes it did get to me every time.

…I still really want to write the fic based on the headcanons from like 3 years ago and I know I just SHOULD because that’s what hobbies are for but…yeah. Afraid. Anyway, I got distracted by that, so, that’s all for today’s thoughts. Gotta get to bed so I can be a semi-real person tomorrow.

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

Alrighty so the final episode!

PLEASE say Maddox and Jet will be back next season. I need them to be. These siblings made the season tbh.

KOURTNEY!! Made me cry once again. The way everyone turned on their flashlights and she continued to sing 🥹🥹🥹 MY BABY

I could not care less about Rina or Portwell. I like all characters individually. I feel bad for EJ and I hope he gets to confront his dad. I am proud of how far Ricky has come. And I am happy Gina is starting to figure out what she wants. But I don’t care who dates who.

Fuck Channing 🖕🏼

Nini’s departure! Also the fact that she leaves opening night cards!!! I really hope she actually does do that in S4 too even if she’s not around

Why are they all so shocked over the trailer? They knew they were just acting bitchy and that they would make it more dramatic than it was.

DID WE EVER FIND OUT WHAT THEIR CAMP NICKNAMES WERE

So now we’re here with… my sweet and wonderful Ashlyn. The character that I think the fandom, to be honest, has been a little harsh on this season. Y’all started calling her annoying, ”out of character”, ”she’s gonna cheat on Red with Maddox/Val 🙄”. No?? What happened to you all being so happy and supportive for Ashlyn in S2 only to immediately bash on her?

I like Redlyn just fine. They’re very cute. ”I’m Ashlyn’s boyfriend and I’m bi” was the funniest thing I have ever heard, though I am slightly unsure why Red was even in the documentary lmao (and I don’t know if he was supposed to say something else and he said wrong/they cut what he actually said lol, but nonetheless it was very funny). I am completely fine with them being endgame - but I hope you all don’t forget that Ashlyn did have a self discovery this season.

Yes, Redlyn are cute, Redlyn are bicons, yes I agree. But what bothers me a little bit is the fact that many people have basically barely mentioned Ashlyn when talking about this season, except when they talk about Redlyn in the last episode. Where were you to say anything in ep6 with the firework hug? Where were you in ep7? 90% of what you seemed to talk about was Rina or Portwell. It leaves me a little itch when people just apparently don’t have anything to say except when she reunites with her boyfriend, and that’s when they even mention her. Even if I find Redlyn cute, this wasn’t a Redlyn season, it was an Ashlyn self discovery season.

Yes, you can talk about what you want. Maybe I am a hypocrite since I barely talk about Rina or Portwell. But this is actual WLW representation and it’s a little sad with specifically WLW representation, cause people are always so much more celebratory with MLM representation - like with Carlos and Seb, people immediately are like ”😍🥳🕺🏼❤️” but when it comes to WLW representation, it almost always feels like people are more like ”🤷🏼‍♀️”. This is why so many WLW shows gets cancelled, cause there’s not as much viewers, cause with queer rep people rather prefer two boys rather than two girls.

I often recommend the show ”Tudo Igual SQN” (All the same or not) on D+ for people who has watched HSMTMTS, especially people who likes Ashlyn and Maddox. There’s two characters named Pri and Trix who are very similar to them. But I feel like, if all of the HSMTMTS fandom would watch that show they would probably focus on the ”str8” ships a lot more than Pri and Trix. Probably focus a lot more on Trix and her boyfriend.

Did I want Ashlyn and Val to be together? No, Val is a lot older and in a whole other place in life. Did I want Ashlyn and Maddox to be together? I’ll… get back on that.

Maddox is another character people just don’t mention in this season, and often when they do it was either to go ”she’s annoying 🙄” or comment on her just saying something. Not a lot of people seem to comment on her storyline or the fact that she has a crush on Ashlyn.

What I want for Maddox is that she comes back in season 4 and talks to Ash. We see the documentary trailer and it seems like they will make it seem like Maddox is in love with her - which probably will cause some drama. I bet there’s gonna be drama for all of them over it.

Ashlyn seemed like she had some doubts with Red in the last ep, but she didn’t want to make him feel bad. We’ll see how it goes with that. The documentary will stear up some drama. If Redlyn stays together and is endgame, I’ll be happy for them. If they break up and Ashlyn ends up with Maddox I’ll also be happy (though, I also hope they can do it justice - I do want everyone to be happy). And if Ashlyn, Red and Maddox all end up single I’ll also be happy for them.

I also think Kourtney deserves her own little part here, because y’all were sleeping on her too this season. She plays ELSA and needs to be treated like the queen she is! Her anxiety storyline was so good. Her scenes were the only times in the entire series when I cried. When she climbed the wall. When Channing turned off the lights and she stood on stage, TEARS came for me when she started singing again and everyone cheered for her. I am so proud of Kourtney. She is so good. The only one who has gotten me to cry TWO TIMES in a show I barely felt a bit sad with last season.

Conclusion: For me, and me personally so this ofc does not apply to all of you, the characters who made the season the most for me was Ashlyn, Kourtney and Maddox. Everyone else was fine, but those three ladies really made it for me ❤️💜💙

[domesticblisss]

What You Hoped to Find

Ricky Starks x Female Reader

Rating: Mature (Minors DNI)

Word Count: 1450

Warnings: Fluff, mentions of sex, daddy kink (probably not how you're thinking, just a tiny mention) and stalking.

Summary: Reader is tired of the dating scene and weird dates. A stranger in a bar helps her out.

A/N: Hello! Two fics in a couple of days? Who'd have thought??? Maybe a found a new muse on Ricky. Hope you guys like it!

Being a single woman trying to get lucky on the dating scene fucking sucks. 

I’ve lost count of how many dates I’ve gone on in the last couple of months, let alone how many times I’ve swiped and matched on the apps. 

It was like there’s only two types of men: the ones that are down right creepy from the beginning and the ones that are nice at first, have a nice conversation on the app and then turn into creeps when you finally meet them face to face. 

And of course tonight’s date was the latter. 

I gotta admit that my first intentions with Trevor were downright carnal, dude looked like he was an Abercrombie & Fitch model, straight out of the catalogue. He likes to cook, loves animals, sports and seems to be a family guy. You know, the perfect dude, prince charming himself. 

Turns out prince charming had a daddy kink and wanted me to call him by his honorific on our first date. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against it, but c’mon, would it hurt to have a normal conversation first and then ask if I was up to it? (Probably wouldn’t say no, to be honest.)

I called it off when he started to push it. 

So of course I wouldn’t waste the time I spent getting dolled up. This dress makes my curves look too good to be at home on a saturday night, so I decided to go bar hopping. 

And it looks like so did Trevor, because this is the third bar that I go to and he shows up just a few minutes later. He hasn’t approached me yet, only keeps staring at me. 

Add mega creep to the list. 

I’m not going to lie, I’m getting a little uncomfortable (and scared). 

I look around to see if I can find the nearest restroom, which is crowded and impossible to get in, but I do end up spotting a very cute guy sitting alone. 

Okay, it’s now or never, I hope he doesn’t think I’m a weirdo. 

“Hi! Look, I’ve just left a super weird date and the dude is following me. This is actually the third bar I’ve been to after it and he keeps coming after me. Could you please pretend to know me for a little while so he leaves? He is by the door looking at us.” I spoke so fast that I’m out of breath. 

The guy in front of me is beautiful. Glistening terracotta skin, chocolate brown eyes, broad shoulders and the perfect amount of muscles. His forehead is scrunched, and I can see it relaxing slowly as he takes in my words. 

“Oh god, of course!” He says as he gestures to the chair in front of him. “I’m Ricky.” 

I give him my name as I sit down. Awkward silence engulfs us and we exchange even more awkward smiles. 

“He’s at the bar now… still staring at us.” Ricky says after a while. 

“Jesus… I’m never going on dates again.” I groan. 

“Was it that bad?” 

“He wanted me to call him ‘daddy’ instead of his name. On our first date.” 

“Oh, baby, I am so sorry.” Ricky’s apology seems legit. “I think we need some drinks.” He says and calls the waiter as I nod in agreement.

He orders a couple of tequila shots for us and some beer to wash it down. 

“Thank you by the way, Ricky.”

“No problem.” We clink our shot glasses and down the tequila before he continues, “So, daddy huh?”

“Right?!”

Ricky laughs at my incredulous face. 

“Look, nothing against it, it’s cool and all, to be honest I’m more of a sir girl–“ 

Ricky laughs again, this time spitting a bit of his beer. 

“Anyways that’s not the point, that’s not what I signed up for on the first date.”

“And what did you sign up for?” He asks, a sweet but playful smile adorning his face. 

“His profile said he likes to cook, is into animals and he seemed like a family oriented guy, you know, the basics to make any stupid woman crazy.”

I can see Ricky holding his laughter, which makes me cry-laugh.

“Ugh, I know how pathetic it sounds, but being a woman trying to get on the dating scene is just so bad.”

“I don’t think it’s pathetic, you’re beautiful and from the little we’ve talked, I can see you’re funny and a genuinely nice person. He’s the fucking weirdo.”

Ricky’s little speech leaves me speechless and I can feel my cheeks heating. 

I thank him with a small smile and I know he gets it when he tilts his beer bottle towards me as a nod before drinking. 

“Sooo,” I say before awkward silence falls between us again “what brings you here tonight? Any hot dates?”

“Nope.”

“Girlfriend waiting at home?”

“Nope.”

Ricky’s tone of voice changed to something a little slicker, like he wanted to let me in on something. Can’t deny that it didn’t awaken the butterflies that had been long asleep in my stomach, because it did. Oh, how it did. 

“So what are you doing here?” I say as I change to a more comfortable position, crossing my legs. Ricky licks his lips. 

“Just wanted to chill and visit some old, familiar places here at home before going on tour again.”

“Oh, so you travel a lot?”

“A bit, yeah.”

“So what do you do? Are you like, a rockstar or something?”

Ricky laughs again, and I’m starting to think that I’d never get tired of listening to his laughter. 

“I'm a pro wrestler.” He answers and for some reason, he seems shy, like I’d be weirded out by the answer. 

“Dude! Ricky, that’s so cool!”

“You think so?”

“Of course!”

We talk some more, he tells me about his accomplishments and I insist on searching his matches. Ricky asks me about what I do and we laugh about how my boring office job has nothing on his super cool one. 

We talk for what felt like hours, we laugh until we cry about and we even exchange numbers. 

Our conversation is interrupted when a shadow suddenly approaches us. Trevor. 

“Can I help you?” Ricky asks Trevor. 

“Him? Really? I thought we had something.” Trevor completely dismisses Ricky and turns to me. 

“Oh, that was our first AND only date. We never had nothing and we never will.”

Before Trevor opens up his mouth, Ricky stands, squaring him up. 

“You heard her. Now take your shit and leave.” Ricky says, the tone of his voice is completely different from what I listened to the whole night. 

Trevor grunts and makes his way out in silence, not daring to look back. 

I sigh. 

“Thank you, Ricky. You really didn’t have to do any of this, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Ricky says as he squeezes my hand. 

“I think I should probably go.”

“I’ll take you home.” He says, getting up with me.

I stop him. “You really don’t have to. I live like, a couple of blocks away from here. I’ll just walk home.”

“Yes I do. You don’t know if that weirdo is waiting outside. Besides, I don’t live that far from here either. And to be honest? It’ll be boring without you here.”

I nod and smile. “Okay then, let’s go.”

Ricky pays for our bills, even though I protest, saying that I could have paid for my share. 

The walk home is quiet, the silence only being broken by Ricky asking where we should turn. We walk side by side, too close for two people who have just met, hands brushing lightly, his right arm going around my waist as we pass by the too crowded entrance of another bar. 

“So, this is me.” I say as I stopped by my building’s door. 

“Really?” Ricky asks, laughing. 

“Yeah, what’s so funny?”

“This is me too.” He says, pulling out the familiar key card that opened the main door. 

“Really?” It was my turn to ask and laugh. 

“So each one are you at?” he asks as we walk through the lobby. 

“804. You?”

“604.”

The ride is faster than expected, and we spent it laughing at the coincidence. 

The elevator stops, and the visor reads “6th”. 

“So, I guess this is me.” Ricky says as the door opens. He stands right by it so it doesn’t close. 

“”Thank you again, Ricky. I really can’t thank you enough.”

“I don’t want to overstep, but breakfast tomorrow?”

“I would love to.”

“Deal. I know where to find you. See ya..”

“See ya..”

I guess the night wasn’t that bad after all. 

[babymetaldoll]

Stargazing (Spencer Reid/Reader)

Requested: No, but I needed some hardcore fluff

Summary: The team is “forced” to go camping, and Spencer finally decides to make “his move” on Reader.

Pairing: Spencer Reid/ Reader

Category: Hardcore fluff

Warnings: Zero

Word count: 3,2K

Masterlist

-

-

It was the first time the BAU didn't argue Strauss's decision. She had walked into the conference room and explained to the team that the FBI had decided each department had to do a workshop related to teamwork and trust.

- "You will spend this weekend camping together. You will be part of a Team-Building Training Workshop"- Strauss wasn't excited about the idea of her best team wasting a whole weekend. But she was glad her department didn't have to do the activity. She hated camping.

- "Are you telling me we have to spend our weekend in sleeping bags, singing kumbaya?"- Rossi raised an eyebrow and looked at Erin, and she didn't move a muscle- "I'm out."

- "David, I'm not asking you if you want to do it. The whole team has to be part of this activity, that includes you."

- "Come on, Rossi,"- Prentiss smiled and tried to cheer him up- "It will be a nice change from catching serial killers for a weekend.

- "Really, Emily?"- Rossi crossed his arms on his chest and looked at Reid- "Hey, kid. How many dead bodies are found each year in the woods in the country?"

- "Over 2.543 last year,"- Spencer answered. And didn't stop talking, of course- "We can not be sure they were all serial killer related cases. The most common ways to die in the woods are drowning, car accident, and suicide."

- "Suicide it is."- David whispered. He knew it was going to be a long weekend.

Even when he wasn't a person who loved camping and outdoor activities, Spencer was excited to spend the weekend with the team, especially with (Y/N). His teammate, best friend, and secret crush. Ok, it wasn't really a secret.

Of course, everybody knew about Spencer's feelings. He never successfully hid them from the team. You didn't need to be a profiler to notice each time (Y/N) walked into a room, Reid's eyes would follow her, and his cheeks blushed. When they sat together in the jet, Spencer would always be too self-aware of his own movements. He would try not to move, especially when she had fallen asleep, resting her head on his shoulder. And when they were working on a case together, he would always cover her on the field, and he would make sure she was safe, even when the unsub was already caught.

He loved her. Even a blind man could see. Except for (Y/N), of course. Because according to her own words: "There's no way Spencer Reid is in love with me. He would never look at me that way. He is perfect, and I'm a mess. He deserves the perfect genius girl."

-

- "Ok, Romeo, this weekend is the perfect opportunity for you to make your move"- Derek and Reid were alone in the SUV on their way to the retreat.

- "Sure. Because there's no better time to make a fool out of myself than in front of all my friends in the middle of nowhere."

- "What's with the attitude, pretty Ricky? Relax"- Morgan frowned and put on some music, singing along for a moment. Reid looked at him and raised an eyebrow, trying not to laugh.

- "Ok man, picture this: you, your pretty lady, in the middle of the night, gazing at the stars together, alone in the middle of the forest. The full moon is the only light."

- "Who are you? since when are you a romance expert?"

- "Hey! I can be romantic!"

- "I've seen you get girls only by raising an eyebrow"- Reid argued, and he was right. It had happened once, but that was another completely different story.

- "What I'm trying to tell you is that you have the perfect chance to tell her how you feel during this trip"- Spencer was about to start debating that idea when Derek continued.

- "And stop saying she has no feeling for you!"

Reid bit his tongue and looked at the road. Neither of them said a word for the next couple of minutes. Until Spencer whispered

- "But she doesn't"

- "She does!!"- Derek nearly yelled

- "Why are you so sure?!"

- "Because she told Penelope she is in love with you!!"

The silence in the car was as intense as the red in Spencer's cheeks. Derek knew he shouldn't have said that, but he was tired of seeing his best friend's sad eyes each time he stared at (Y/N). Someone had to do something, and he knew neither of them would make the first move.

- "Are you sure?"- Reid's mouth was hanging open- "I mean, maybe she was joking."

- "No, she was honest. So please, this weekend, make your freaking move."

-

How could Spencer ever make his move? He had no idea. He didn't even have a "move"! But something inside of him felt a little more confident now.

That didn't show on the outside at all, 'cos during the whole day, he was more clumsy than ever. He dropped his coffee. He failed the first two attempts to set up his tent and nearly fell carrying logs for the fire.

He wanted to dig a hole and hid.

But (Y/N) didn't notice any of that. Not because she didn't pay attention, but because she was oblivious to any of those things. She just couldn't stop staring: He was wearing jeans. Spencer Walter Reid was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. (Y/N) thought she was going to have a heart attack when he got out of the car.

Sure, yes, she had seen him outside work in a more casual outfit, but nothing prepared her for Spencer's camping clothing. It suited him too well for his own good.

- "Hello? Anybody there?"- Prentiss waved at (Y/N). She and JJ stood in front of her, trying to catch her attention.

- "Jesus! you look like a schoolgirl today!"- JJ teased her, laughing- "Can you be more obvious?"

- "What are you talking about?"- (Y/N) tried to look all innocent and continued setting the logs for the campfire.

- "If Spencer wasn't so clueless about your feelings, I swear you two would be already married,"- Emily joked and helped (Y/N) with the logs. The young SSA just shook her head and tried to keep her eyes from Reid for as long as she could. She successfully did it for five minutes. That day's record.

- "(Y/N), hey"- he stood by her side, and she quickly stood up.

- "Hey, how are you doing?"

- "Good... you?"- she just nodded and smiled. She really was acting like a schoolgirl in front of Spencer- "Great... hey, I thought maybe tonight you would like to do some stargazing with me..."- Emily and JJ heard him and nearly squealed. They tried to look away, but it was impossible. They needed to know what was happening. Where was García? she was going to be so mad she missed that.

- "Yeah! I'm sure tonight we can see way more stars than on your building's roof like last time."

(Y/N) answered, smiling, thinking there was nothing more romantic than being underneath a starry sky, listening to Spencer talking about constellations.

- "Ok, kids,"- Rossi's voice stepping out of his huge camper interrupted them and forced everybody to turn around- "Let's do this trust thing we are forced to do before it's lunchtime. Maybe we can manage to go home early."

-

Of course, they weren't. The whole team had to work as a unit to fulfill a series of activities an expert team the FBI had hired forced them to do. Aaron thought it was unnecessary, considering they worked on the field together, and they trusted each other with their lives all the time. But he was also sure his team needed a break, and everybody could use some fresh air.

- "Great work, team"- Hotch hugged everybody and smiled when the whole activity was done- "I think we've earned a nice dinner."

- "Please don't tell me we have to hunt our food"- Penelope wide opened her eyes suddenly and looked at Hotch- "I can eat blueberries."

- "Don't worry, kids"- Rossi shook his head and pointed to his camper- "Anyone in the mood for a nice steak?"

- "I bought marshmallows for the campfire later,"- (Y/N) said and smiled- "You are never too old for some s'more."

- "Scary stories by the fire eating s'mores? I'm ten years old again"- JJ looked excited- "I need to do this with Henry."

- "Just don't tell him your "I'm scared of the woods because I found the camp director dead" story." - Derek said, smiling.

- "You freaked out!"- JJ chuckled, remembering how she had scared her friends a few years earlier while working on a case in the woods.

- "I need to hear that story!"- Emily said- "I bet it's no better than mine, I'm sure."

- "Battle of horror stories?"- (Y/N) smiled evilly- "You two have nothing on me."

-

The evening was fun and a little terrifying. Garcia was holding Derek's arm so tight it was starting to feel numb. Rossi and Hotch had told a couple of stories that left the team completely frightened, to be fair. Especially Spencer. He had forgotten an essential part of his plan: nights in the woods are dark as pitch. And he was afraid of the dark. How would he successfully take (Y/N) to a nice spot, sit down and stare at the stars with her if he was too scared to move from the fire?

(Y/N) looked at Reid and sighed. Maybe he had regretted it. Of course, he hasn't forgotten his invitation, 'cos Spencer remembered everything. Still, he hadn't made any move or sign to go stargazing. Being alone with him in the dark was scary but in the right way. Maybe she could finally tell him how she felt. No, no way. That wasn't going to happen.

- "Ok, so... it's late, and we are out of wine"- Rossi stood up and looked at the team- "I am ready to go to my comfy bed"- the rest of the team groaned. They were going to spend the night in a tent, probably freezing, while Rossi was going to be in his warm camper.

- "I'm going to sleep too, we have trekking in the morning, and it's going to be a long walk. I suggest you all go to bed early."- Hotch stood up and waved at the team, to then walk to his tent."

- "Sweet chocolate thunder, is there room in your tent for me?"- Penelope asked, and he chuckled immediately

- "Are you still scared of the stories? they are just made up things people create to terrify us."

- "I know. But I'm also scared of bears, psycho killers, and slender man"- Morgan looked at her, raising an eyebrow. She wasn't joking.

- "Bring your sleeping bag."

- "You are my hero. I love you."

Prentiss and JJ went to bed soon after, leaving the two love birds alone.

- "Stargazing?"- Reid whispered, and (Y/N) nodded- "We should find a darker stop... or we can stay here by the fire if you like."

- "Are we going to get a nice view here?"- (Y/N) looked at the stars and tried to see anything.

- "No, it has to be darker,"- Spencer whispered, taking a look around- "There was a nice spot by the cliff, that way."

- "I don't think walking to a cliff in the middle of the night is a good idea"- (Y/N) smiled, and Reid shook his head

- "You are right..."

- "But we can walk carefully and carry a flashlight,"- she added and smiled, looking at him. His brown curls moved with the wind, and his chocolate eyes were brighter than the sparks of fire next to them.

- "That sounds good."

Spencer stood still for a second. He had a blanket in one hand and a bag of marshmallows in the other. (Y/N) put on her scarf and jacket and stared at him.

- "Are you ok?"

- "Yeah."

He wasn't. He was trying to calm himself down, thinking that walking in the middle of the dark was worthy because it meant spending time alone with (Y/N).

He kept telling himself he didn't have to worry because nothing was going to happen. He wished he had his gun with him in case of any danger, though. Maybe that could make him feel better.

- "You can't kill darkness, stupid"- he whispered to himself and sighed. (Y/N) walked a step closer and took the marshmallow bag. Then, she held his hand.

- "Let's go?"

That was all Spencer needed. He was ready.

- "Did you know astronomy is the oldest of the sciences?- Reid whispered as they walked hand in hand to a nice clear spot - "Ancient astronomers were able to differentiate between stars and planets, as stars remain relatively fixed over the centuries while planets will move an appreciable amount during a comparatively short time."

- "And when did you start learning about the stars?"- Spencer loved that. How each time he started rambling, she wouldn't get annoyed like the rest of the people he knew. Instead, she would always ask him something related to the subject. And it was usually something personal. She wanted to learn more about him and how he had ended up being such an amazing human being.

- "When I was four, mom started taking me regularly to the library. That was when I started to learn more about science. I could pick ten books each time we were there, and I decided I wanted to know everything I could about everything I loved."

Spencer confessed and smiled, looking at her. His heart was warm with their conversations. He was never comfortable talking about his personal life, especially about his childhood. But with (Y/N), it all came naturally.

- "How often did she take you?"

- "Every other day"- she chuckled and remembered the pictures Diana had shown her of Spencer when he was a little kid last time they visited her. He was adorable, with his glasses and his messy hair. It was impossible not to imagine having a family with him.

- "This is it... this is a good spot."- Spencer said and stopped walking. He moved a log and tapped on it, smiling at (Y/N). She sat with him, and he wrapped them together with the blanket.

- "So, what am I staring at?"- (Y/N) asked and kept her eyes on the starry sky. It seemed she had never seen so many stars. And they even looked closer. Spencer looked at her, and his heart skipped a beat. He was about to start a lecture on astronomy, but instead, he decided to do "his move." Or the move he could think of. He didn't really know if it was a move, but he was going to give it a shot anyway.

- "Most stargazers learn about constellations looking for different noticeable patterns across the sky"- he made a pause clearing his throat. That was it. He was going to do it.

- "That's how it all started,"- he continued- "Some of these noticeable patterns up there are still the same ones our ancestors noticed while sitting around a campfire telling stories like we did today."

- "Telling stories about the stars sounds a lot less creepy, though" - (Y/N) whispered, and the two of them smiled- "Wanna tell me a story about these stars?"

There was no way Spencer could say not to her puppy eyes.

- "Ok... let's see..."- Reid sighed and thought for a moment, looking at the constellations above them- "Do you see those stars over there that look like a cute bunny?"

- "Which ones?"- Spencer pointed at the sky, and (Y/N) nodded- "I see them"

- "Well, you'll see, there was a comet in love with the bunny, but it could only look at her from a safe distance."- Spencer finally confessed. (Y/N) held her breath for a second and tried not to get her hopes high.

- "Why?"

- "Well, the comet was afraid he wasn't good enough for the bunny"- Spencer was whispering, and his soft voice sent shivers to (Y/N)'s body- "So he stared at his favorite constellation every day and only imagined what it would feel like to hold her in his arms."

- "And the bunny never saw the comet?"- (Y/N) asked softly, while very, very slowly, she moved her hand and reached Spencer's.

- "The bunny thought the comet just wanted to be her friend because he was scared to tell her how he felt,"

(Y/N) kept thinking there was no way on earth Spencer was telling her how he felt about her with that adorable story. Was he? Really? 'cos it was too romantic, and if he wasn't and she was wrong... it would be heartbreaking. But, there was only one way to find out.

- "I think the bunny felt the same, but she thought she wasn't good enough for the comet"- Spencer's heart raced at those words, and he turned to look at (Y/N). She blushed and stared at him with a shy smile.

- "Why would the bunny ever think that?"

- "The comet is too brilliant and too amazing to settle for a simple constellation when he could have the sun."

(Y/N) was embarrassed to confess those feelings, but it was now or never.

- "But the bunny is the sun in the comet's life."- Spencer whispered and caressed her cheek with his thumb carefully.

- "Really?"- her voice was so soft, it melted Spencer completely. He couldn't answer. All he could do was to lean in slowly and kissed her as gently as he could, enjoying the sensation of her lips against his. He cupped her face with both hands and moved a little closer.

It was the sweetest kiss he had ever given. It wasn't just because (Y/N)'s lips tasted like marshmallow, but because it was filled with pure love. He could feel it, even when he still couldn't believe it. She loved him. She really did.

(Y/N) was sure that wasn't really happening. She had probably fallen down the cliff earlier and was now unconscious or dead, living a fantasy. There was no way Spencer Reid was kissing her.

When they slowly moved and looked at each other, neither of them knew what to say. So (Y/N) did what she always dreamed of doing and leaned in and kissed him again. Spencer didn't hesitate and wrapped his arms around her waist, moving her closer to him. Her hands played shyly with some of the curls of his hair, and they simply kissed for what seemed to be forever, even when it wasn't enough time for them. Spencer felt he could kiss her his whole life, and he still wouldn't get enough of her.

- "So..."- (Y/N) whispered after some minutes and looked at Spencer, blushing- "Do you think the comet and the bunny could... maybe try to be more than friends?"

He smiled and kissed her again, rubbing her lips carefully with his; (Y/N) sighed into the kiss.

- "The comet is willing to do anything the bunny asks him because he just wants to make her happy all day, every day."

(Y/N) couldn't speak. She could only kiss him again and again.

- "Bunny just wants her comet to be happy too."

- "Then would Bunny be the comet's girlfriend?"- she giggled and nodded- "Good, because I don't think I could ever live without your kisses ever again, Bunny."

- "Neither do I, Comet"

And after that, stargazing was forgotten. There were enough stars in their kisses to keep the two of them lost in their own new universe. 

[homemade-ghosts]

do you think gina will be saying she loves ej back at all? i keep feeling like she will because she thinks she does love him. when i think of that scenario i keep wondering to myself how we get to what happens in ep 7 then? every other spoiler has been correct so i cant see why this would be the one spoiler that’s not but how do we get to gina saying she loves ei to That. i fear they’ll call ricky a rebound bc they have no media literacy and/or call gina a cheater 😭😭

always taking that way the fact the only shot we have for ep 8 is gina and ricky looking at each other while singing with corbin and miss jen in the middle to me means good things even without knowing spoilers but

If this season were longer, I'd say maybe (because there would be time for Gina to say it back and then, 2-3 episodes later, realize she was never really in love with EJ, she was in love with the idea of him) but given the limited time we have left this season + what we know about ep 7, I'd have to say no. If EJ does tell Gina he loves her, I don't think she'll say it back.

Gina, like Anna with Hans, saw her relationship with EJ through rose-colored glasses. He was her fantasy of the perfect first boyfriend...until he wasn't. The more Gina got to know Ricky, the more they connected, but it had the opposite effect with EJ. The more she found out about him, the more she felt like she couldn’t trust or rely on him, the more she realized just how disconnected they really are.

While I don’t think she’ll reciprocate the “I love you”, I do think it’s possible that they make up early into episode 6. Maybe EJ, knowing that Miss Jenn is currently on her way to camp to take over some of his directorial responsibilities, tells Gina that he promises they’ll spend more time together soon. He promises he’ll be there for her, that she can count on him. She reluctantly accepts and gives him a chance to prove it...but then, according to the 306 promo, he misses her “basketball triumph” (side note: I’m still unsure if this is a reference to a literal basketball game that the Blue Team wins for Color Wars or Gina’s duet with Corbin on the faux basketball court stage) and that’s the final straw. EJ claims he’s “the guy who shows up”, but he forgot a key part of showing up: you have to keep doing it. You have to put in the effort. You have to stick around. 

The rose-colored glasses are off and now they’ve got a crack right down the middle. It’s over. Gina knows she deserves more than this, she deserves someone who won’t just say he loves her, but actually work to show her that love (”love’s not a thing you get: it’s work and tears and sweat.”). Gina won’t settle for some superficial, hail Mary declaration of love & I hope she’ll tell EJ as much. 

I know this is probably unlikely, but whenever I imagine this scene I picture Gina saying something like, “For once, EJ, just be honest. You don’t love me, you barely even know me! All this lying and hiding and not apologizing? That’s not love. I deserve someone who’s going to be there for me, who can be happy for me without thinking about himself. I deserve someone--” EJ interrupts with, “Someone like Ricky?” & BOOM, there’s your set up for the events of ep 7.

No matter how that scene actually goes, even if they don't officially break up in ep 6, I feel pretty confident in saying that both Gina & EJ will know, by the end of the episode, that they can’t come back from this. 

As for your point about #them calling Ricky a rebound &/or Gina a cheater: no matter what happens, they’ll find a way to villainize Ricky & Gina and victimize EJ. No matter how much time there is in between the pw breakup and Rina officially getting together, they’ll still say Ricky is a rebound and Gina “hasn’t had enough time to process her breakup with EJ” and that she’s “being forced to move on too quickly.” It’s exactly what they’re doing with Ricky right now. Despite the fact that Ricky had an entire arc about learning to let go of his past and accept/embrace change that culminated in his breakup with Nini, despite the fact that he himself said he didn’t like the person he was becoming when they were together, despite the fact that he wrote 2 whole songs about how he was over her, they claim he’s still in love with Nini. Even after Ricky’s mind immediately went to Gina when he heard Carlos say “EJ, you’ve stolen the woman Ricky loves.” They still say if Nini was at camp, Ricky wouldn’t even look at Gina. It’s wrong and it’s annoying and it makes them look stupid, but that’s never stopped them before. I don’t expect their reaction to Rina later this season to be any different, honestly. They’re committed to misunderstanding this story.

About that clip from ep 8: It does look like everyone is a part of whatever song they’re singing there (pretty sure you can see a glimpse of the shirt Larry was wearing when they filmed the finale next to Sofia, so Big Red is there too) but I think it says a lot that Ricky & Gina seem to be looking past Corbin & Miss Jenn and directly at each other. Tbh, after all the leaks, it’s kind of nice that we don’t know much about the finale, IMO.

[wearenot7withu]

The water drabbles i

pairing : jungkook x f!reader

genre : established!relationship, mostly fluff, slightly angst if you close your eyes

warning : the word fuck like once + mention of blowjob

word count : 1.5k

summary : You're back with your boyfriend as a lifeguard in your little town for another summer. This time however your insecurities are coming up to the surface.

a/n : it's summer again, I was at the thermal again and these two came to my mind so I wrote a little drabble thingy for them. Can be read as a standalone, but I recommend to read the original au, what you can do here. Don't forget to give feedback, they're always welcomed. Reblog, like, comment, do whatever your heart desires. I hope you'll like this little instalment in the wghb universe. Wish you a good day/night, love you xx

masterlist

It was a hot summer day again, with the temperature being so high, one could’ve probably cooked an egg on the pavement. With your red one-piece swimsuit on and the white baseball cap – which wasn’t yours but your boyfriend’s who is refusing to wear it – you were currently looking at the kid’s pool, where all the chaos has erupted today.

Just a moment ago, you saw a little girl turn upside down in the water, but her mother reacted quickly and pulled her out from under the water. A little guy probably pooped in his water-resistant diaper because his mother was making that face and tried to bribe him out from the pool. Then, these twins were afraid of the water but continued to dive under it nevertheless. However, your favourites seemed to be the triplets. One was sleeping in his mother’s arms, the other was trying to push his dad underwater, and the third was diving with her goggles on.

Even though it was loud, so you couldn’t hear your thoughts, something about the kid’s pool made you feel relaxed, maybe because this pool was the only where the kids had their parents with them, whose eyes were looking at over their children like a hunter when studying its prey.

“Y/n, can you please go pick up our lunch?” Mei, your lifeguard partner for today, asked you, and even though she was next to you, she was shouting as if you were in a club. You nodded your head and made your way towards Ricki’s bar, where yours and all the lifeguards’ meals were made. But before you went there, you stopped at the Laguna pool, where Jungkook, your boyfriend, was on duty.

He had his red swimming trunk and white sleeveless top on, which made both his thighs and arm muscles visible for everyone. The waves were currently on, so all the youngsters acted like grown-ups, swimming closer and closer to the wave-making machine. Therefore your boyfriend stood with his hands on his hip and whistle in his mouth, blowing it every other second. This pool was the calmest when it wasn’t show-time because of its cold temperature, but the pool turned into a circus when it was the waves time to shine.

You walked up to Taehyung, who was guarding the life of those who wanted to swim. “How many minutes left?”

He looked at his watch on his wrist. “Like four” So you sat next to him and waited for the main attraction to pass.

You know your boyfriend takes his job genuinely because the first time he saw you was only after the waves stopped, even though you were practically sitting in front of him for minutes. “Hi, baby” He gave a quick peck on your lips, which you received happily. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m going to get our lunch with Mei. Do you want to come with me?” The reply came quickly, and after saying bye to Taehyung, you walked away hand in hand with the boy next to you.

On the way there, he successfully convinced you to eat your lunch with him at the bar. While he asked for the four serving – two in containers and two on plates – you searched for an available spot. “How are the little devils?” Asked Jungkook while putting your lunch down in front of you.

“I don’t know why you hate them,” You said with your mouth already full of French fries.

“Because they’re loud,” He said matter of factly.

“What will you do if you have your own child? Are you going to hate them just because they’re loud?” You stole some baked potatoes from his plate and dipped them in the hot sauce on the side of it.

“They won’t be loud. They’d have us as their parents.” The fact that he referred to you as the mother of his kids made your heart swell, and your eyes soften. No matter how long you were together, how good you are together, and how you plan on having him next to you for the rest of your life, you never dare to think too far away in fear of something not going as you planned for yourself and your relationship with him.

“Honey”, You called out to him, putting your palm on the back of his hand, stopping it to bring the food to his mouth “, You would be their father. They’d be the loudest kids in the whole country.”

He throws one baked potato at you, but his smile was undeniably on his face. “You’re lucky I love you.”

You put your hand dramatically on your heart, acting like he just said something which made you surprised. “You do? I had no idea.”

He rolled his eyes at your actions. “Put your mouth to a better use and eat your food.”

You gasped at his words and aggressively put a french fry in your mouth, but one corner of your lips was tugging upward, and you were so hard on suppressing the smile that was forming on your face.

“By the way, don’t look at me like that when I’m talking about our future and kids”, Jungkook casually told you, and you choked on your water. With your eyes wide open, you looked at him, not knowing how to react to that. “I’ve been dating you for years. What do you think, why am I still with you?”

He continued eating, not even looking at you, and after the years you’ve been with him, you know, this is him making a serious talk seem as it’s not bothering him. “I don’t know, the apartment we live in is cheaper like this,” You said, trying to light up the mood with a joke, but he just - finally - looked up at you with a piercing gaze. You sighed, knowing you won’t climb out of this hole easily. “It’s not that, and I know you love me just like I love you. And I also picture my life with you, I wouldn’t be here with you if I wasn’t. It’s just – “

You took a deep breath, looking everywhere but Jungkook because you didn’t know how to compose what you want to say or how to make your insecurities not get the better of you. Jungkook sensed your panicked state and took your hands in his, rubbing the back of your hand with his thumbs. “I’m not forcing you to talk. We can discuss this when you’re ready. Just know that I’m here.”

“I know. Fuck, I know. I’m just scared because I want the whole ordeal with you, you know. Marrying you, having kids with you, the entire process of growing old with you and sitting in the hammock in our backyard with our grandchildren playing around, but then I have these thoughts on how this could all end. Because who are we to control our feelings and what if one day you wake up and you’re– “ Your tears were threatening to fall at this point. You were surprised you could go this long actually talking about this issue. “I don’t know, feel like you had enough, or that you’re not in l –“

“Stop, stop, stop,” Jungkook said with a stern voice, making you halt in your rambling. “That’s not going to happen. Not now, not ever. I love you. I want you. We live together, and our friends are already saying we’re like a married couple. And to be honest, it’s true. You are my soulmate, the one for me — the only one for all of my remaining days on Earth. So don’t worry what the future brings, because I’ll be next to you every step of the road. Got it?” You nodded your head, tears streaming rapidly down your face. “Now come ‘ere” He pushed his chair further from the table and opened his arms wide. You didn’t waste a second, falling into his arms immediately. Hiding your face in his neck, inhaling his rosy scents mixed with the chlorine from the poolside made you calm down within minutes. His hand was drawing different shapes on your tighs, while the other going up and down on your back.

After you’ve calmed down and eaten your lunches, you two went back to your places, bringing your partners their long-awaited lunch.

Jungkook made sure you were alright, so that night, when he dropped you off at your parent’s house, he told you to be ready in an hour because he’s taking you on a date. He recreated his first official date with you at the park, where he rented a little boat, and you two paddled to the middle of the lake and watched the stars cuddled up to each other.

You didn’t want the night to end, so this time the date didn’t end with him dropping you off and awkwardly kissing you on your cheek, but him sleeping over at your house and waking him up with the best blowjob he got in his life from you so far.

[multimetaverse]

HSMTMTS 2x05 Review

The Quinceañero was a truly historic ep featuring the first time two boys have ever kissed on a Disney show. Let’s dig in!

We got the second same-sex kiss in Disney history tonight, Big Shot had the first last Friday, and the first kiss between two boys in Disney history. It’s a huge step forward. That’s not to say that Disney is going to start approving more same-sex kisses or lgbtq relationships or characters but the door is now open and at least some other shows and movies will be able to eventually follow in HSMTMTS steps.

Really nice cover of The Climb, Joe has such a great voice. It was cute that young Seb had watched young Carlos’ dance vid and felt inspired. Frankie and Joe being an irl couple certainly helps give Seblos a good rapport but it also helps that creator and showrunner Tim Federle is an openly gay man himself. I think if a straight man was showrunner we probably wouldn’t get such dedication to Seblos as a couple. 

It was a really funny ep too: Carlos saying his love language is riddles, Ricky asking Nini who they talk to when doing their confessionals, Carlos saying Miss Jenn was a master of smoke and mirrors, Benjamin Mazzara and Mike Bowen interacting. My personal favourite gags were when Big Red said he always wanted a nickname and Kourtney immediately did an office stare and when Nini said Picasso was a terrible person.

Gina still going through it. Kourtney is right that it doesn’t really make sense that Gina is now going to all this trouble for Carlos but to be honest the writing and pacing has been disjointed so far this season so a lot of things aren’t flowing as well as they need to. Is what Gina regrets convincing Ricky to go back on stage as that helped get Rini back together? That’s petty but fair and also true to teenage emotions (though she shouldn’t beat herself up too much, Rini were clearly on the path to getting back together by that point anyway).

Jesus Christ, Ricky needs to read the room. Last ep he correctly realized that Gina wouldn’t want to hear about his Nini issues and tried to stop Big Red from mentioning them but now he’s just doing it himself? Obviously they’re trying to drill in the fact that for now Rina is one sided but it’s a little much. Also really doesn’t make sense that Ricky wouldn’t go to Kourtney or Big Red for this kind of advice.

Sofia Wylie was killing it this ep, both her and Joe are showstoppers. A Dancer’s Heart was great and she did a good job of acting on the verge of tears almost the entire ep

At least EJ actually thought to ask Gina how she’s feeling though and she clearly appreciated it after she got over her shock. It does seem that reports of Portwell’s demise were greatly exaggerated, with the music and the longing stares they’re setting up for at least EJ to have a crush on Gina. Hell even Mazzara picked up on it at the end. I had noted last week that it seemed like Gina’s story line in S2 was being thrown out of balance by the writers dropping a planned Portwell plot and sure enough this week we actually begin to see Gina’s story arc not being entirely her pining over Ricky. 

EJ also benefits by being given something to do instead of just standing around in the back. I’m glad he took Mazzara up on the AV club offer and they have a nice mentor-mentee relationship going on. It’s also a nice little parallel with 1x05 when Gina told off EJ and had a moment with Ricky and now in 2x05 Gina tells off Ricky and has a moment with EJ. 

Matt seemingly dismissed Portwell as a friendship rather than even hinting at something between them. I guess he could have been told to keep it under wraps as much as possible but odd that they wouldn’t hype it a bit; it’s not like this came completely out of left field, people were wondering if Portwell might happen because of the moment they had in 1x10 and the facetime call they had before S2. Sofia has already said that Gina will have love interests this season and EJ being one, even if it’s brief, would make whole lot of sense since there’s really no one else for except Jack who only shows up much later and doesn’t seem to be in more than an ep or two.

Rini was sweet tonight. Yes Ricky is being clingy which stems in large part from his mom’s abandonment and in fairness Ricky and Nini have probably been used to spending much of their time with each other since they were kids. Loved that ‘I think you kinda you know’’ call back tonight. Looks like Nini will be cast as the Rose which should be interesting.

Miss Jenn is pulling Mike Bowen, Ben Mazzara, and Zach Roy. Good for her! Jike shippers certainly feasted tonight as Mike crashed a teen bday party just to see Miss Jenn and we got confirmation that everyone’s fave Disney Dilf was born in the 70s and must be no older than 51.

Well gotta love Lily’s commitment to bringing down East High and drinking scalding hot black coffee. She really seems like she just stepped off the set of Glee

Really hope we see those puppies and man was that wolf adorable

Not both HSMTMTS and Love Victor both making Okay Boomer jokes (it worked when Pilar said it to Felix but not when Ricky said it to his dad)

Big Red exposing Kourtney and Howie was good and it looks like their plot kicks into high gear next ep

Bet Tim thought he was real clever for that shot of Mazzara, Mike, and Miss Jenn in a triangle

A well shot ep except for one weird  and abrupt cut from Mazzara saying Caswell to Seblos outside the barn

Looking Ahead:

EJ stopping Gina from leaving would certainly further their relationship and would parallel him being the one to bring her back in S1. I still don’t get why they didn’t just use the Valentine’s chocolates as a plot device to further this plot; just have EJ secretly send them as he was also lonely and you can still have Gina think they were from Ricky.

From what I’ve seen online this Portwell hint has been controversial. It’s true that there’s an age gap between the characters of 2ish years and a much bigger one between the actors but I don’t think that will stop Tim as he already had EJ date Nini. I’ve also seen comments that it would be a bad idea since EJ is leaving at the end of S2 once he graduates but he’s not actually leaving, they’ll keep him around in some fashion until the current juniors graduate. 

So far it seems like Rini is the Rucas of hsmtmts, Rina is the Lucaya, and Portwell is the Joshaya.

Kowie starts progressing a bit next ep and we may possible see Antoine next week or the week after according to Larry.

Presumably Ricky’s clinginess starts causing trouble between him and Nini.

Still so funny that North High just up and decided to do Beauty and the Beast just to bring down East High.

Until next week wildcats

[dumdumsun]

Forever and Never

A/N: I did it again, @moatsnow! I’m vvv sorry hun 🥺❤️

Warnings: ⚠️rape⚠️, mentions of alcohol and marijuana

Word Count: 5014

—————————————

Four: Good For Me

“So, Richard seemed to have been this… distraction. Because being around Stanley made you feel less than, but Richard admired you. You had no faults when you were with him. So, what made you end it? Did something else happen?”

“Yeah… The next day was his birthday.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He’d been texting me all morning. From the moment I opened my eyes, all throughout breakfast, as I took a shower and got dressed. Wasn’t it his birthday? Didn’t he have preparations to go through for his party that night? Of course, I wished him a happy birthday and assured him that I would attend his party. I figured I might as well buy him a present, since most people would only show up to eat food and get drunk. He probably wouldn’t have been receiving many gifts.

As I descended the stairs, I heard Pam and David rushing around the house. “We’re gonna be late, David!”

“I’m aware!”

“Where are the keys?!”

“In your hand!”

I chuckled and leaned against the railing. “What’s going on?”

David turned towards me and sighed. “It’s Jacob’s presentation today, remember? He’s doing that sort of TED Talk thing at school?”

“Oh, yeah… Well, I’m not gonna be able to go, I’d be late to Ricky’s party by the time we got back.”

“Shit, that’s right… I completely forgot about errands as well. It’s our only free day.” He ran his hands through his hair. I perked up and walked the rest of the way down.

“I can do it. I’ll already be out, buying a present for Ricky.”

“Are you sure, sweetheart?” Pam joined the conversation as she and David approached the front door. I nodded with a smile.

“Yeah, it’ll… give me something to do today.”

Pam gave me that same bittersweet smile she usually did before enveloping me in a hug. “You’re so perfect, (Y/N)...”

“Uh… thanks.” My brows furrowed as she pulled away. I looked to my uncle for any clue as to why she suddenly became so sentimental, but he avoided my gaze, muttering something about wanting me to be safe before walking out of the house. “Are you guys okay?”

“Yeah, baby, we’re fine. You be safe today. Don’t get so drunk that you can’t walk straight. And stay the night at Dina’s, if you can!” She called out as she left out the door. I only nodded my head in response, slowly closing the door after her. My phone vibrated in my pocket, so I fished it out to see yet another text.

Ricky: Do you wanna come over and spend the day with me?

I cringed and rolled my eyes. Wasn’t me coming to his party enough? Shaking my head, I replied to him.

Me: I’m actually booked until the party. Lots of errands to run for my aunt and uncle

To be truthfully honest, I just needed to go grocery shopping and stop by the bookstore to pick up Pam’s order. It would only have taken me about an hour at most to complete my tasks. Did Ricky need to know this? Not at all. Tucking my phone back into my pocket, I snatched the grocery list from the fridge and began my quest for the day.

It hadn’t actually registered in my mind that I would need a car for the day. Our list was pretty long, which left me with armfulls of paper grocery bags, my aunt’s book tucked into my jacket pocket located on the inside. I could hardly see over the tops of the bags, but navigated myself all the way towards the diner before I heard a car pull up beside me. I turned my head to see Stan, giving me a goofy grin, eyes shielded by his sunglasses. He reached over to open the passenger door from the inside. “Hey, there, lovely.”

“Good morning there, beautiful.” I chuckled, opening his back door to store my bags in his seats before climbing into the passenger seat beside him. “Thanks so much.”

“It’s my pleasure,” He tilted his head as if he just winked, but it wasn’t like I could’ve seen it. “So, you’re shopping for Aunt Pam?”

“Uh, yeah. Jake had a presentation at his school today and I… had things to do already. So, why not? Might as well do something for them,” I explained as he began driving again. Down the road, I spotted two familiar figures exiting the diner. “Oh, is that Sydney? And her brother?”

“Indeed, it is.” Stan grinned as he turned the corner. His car pulled over towards them, Sydney’s brother excitedly pointing us out. She turned to the car with pursed lips. I turned down the music as Stan reached over to roll down the window, the glass creaking at its usual agonizingly slow pace. I visibly cringed as Sydney gave a painful smile. Once it was down just enough, Stan nodded towards her. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Her smile turned a bit more genuine. Her brother, who introduced himself as Liam, greeted both Stan and I before we all shifted into an awkward silence. Thankfully, Stan broke it after a couple of beats.

“So, it’s good to see you again.”

“Yeah,” Sydney giggled, and I detected a hint of anxiety. “Yeah, you, too.”

“So, do you wanna,” Stan pushed his sunglasses to sit in his curls. “Do you wanna, like, do somethin’ later tonight or somethin’?”

Sydney opened her mouth, closed it, and opened it again, all while Stan held his glowing smile. What the hell was going on? “You know, I would, but Dina and I are going to Ricky Berry’s party.”

“No shit? I’ll be there, too.” Stan excitedly sat up.

“Oh, you will?”

“Yeah.”

“Ah. Okay, right,” She chuckled. Anyone around could tell that Sydney was clearly uncomfortable, except for Stan. He was on top of the world, it seemed. “So, I guess I’ll see you there. And we gotta go. Right now.” She quickly ushered her brother down the road. I leaned towards my window and giggled into my hand. Stan slowly slipped his sunglasses back on, muttering a ‘cool’, which only caused me to laugh harder.

“Okay, what the hell is going on between you two?”

Stan gave me a look, or what I assumed was a look, as he continued towards our houses. “What? What are you talking about?”

“What’s going on with you and Syd? And don’t say nothing. You’re literally glowing right now.”

“Okay, okay,” He cleared his throat. “So, last night… we, um… Well, we may or may not have had sex.”

I hoped he hadn’t noticed me hesitate. My brain short circuited and my throat constricted. “O-Oh, really? Like, last night-last night?”

“Yeah, last night-last night.”

“Gross.” I lightly joked and Stan rolled his head towards me with a sly smirk. Chuckling, he looked back towards the road.

“Anyway, I assume you’re going to the party, too? Since you’re Ricky’s little homecoming date now.”

My eyes widened. “You saw it, too?!”

“Everyone saw it, Nugget. ‘The Power Couple’ or whatever they said.” He shook his head.

“Ugh, we are not a couple and I do not want to go to homecoming with him!”

“Then why’d you say yes?!”

“Because everyone was there! They planned the whole thing and my brain just thought to say yes!” I buried my head in my hands. I heard Stan coo from beside me with a small tut.

“My poor little Nugget. I should’ve asked you out before Ricky could.”

I peeked up at him with a warm smile. “Nah, it’s okay. It’s just homecoming, I’m not marrying him. Besides you should ask out Sydney, anyway.”

“Oh, that is the plan.” He grinned.

When we arrived at my house, I got out to carry in the bags, but I heard Stan turn off the car and exit as well. He joined me in retrieving the bags from the seats and waited patiently for me to unlock the front door. Once we were inside, we headed straight for the kitchen and set the bags on the table.

“It’s been awhile since I’ve been inside here,” He commented, looking around the house with a soft smile. I hummed in agreement before our gazes met. “Does your bedroom still look the same?”

The feeling that swept through my soul as I watched Stan excitedly explore my bedroom was a feeling I’d never felt before, but never wanted to leave. He marveled at all of the little trinkets displayed on my shelves, my organized bookshelf, the board above my desk filled with every pin I’ve ever collected. But what had him giddy and pumping his fist in the air was the Bloodwitch poster on my door. “Ah, I knew it! You knew all of the words to Hey Little Girl! You used to hate that song!”

“I don’t have to like the song to know all the words, all you play is Bloodwitch!” I laughed. He pointed towards me as if to say ‘don’t deny it’. I deflated. “Okay, yeah, I finally got into Bloodwitch. I guess it was… just something to remind me of you.”

I nervously stuffed my hands into the pockets of my jeans as Stan slowly lowered his arm, his expression softening. His stance stuttered, like he had stopped himself from doing or saying something instinctive, before scoffing.

“Yeah, well, the school’s horrible plays are what reminded me of you.” He rolled his eyes, receiving a light slap to the arm from me. Once Stan left for his own home, I returned to the kitchen to put the food away in their respective places. I made sure to put David’s cookies in his ‘secret’ compartment within the pantry. I knew he’d appreciate it since Jacob always found them if they weren’t stored correctly. I quietly giggled to myself, thinking back to a time when Jacob swore up and down that he hadn’t eaten the cookies. In fact, I remember correctly that we both had eaten them and he was just trying to cover for the both of us. We were caught the next day and forced to sit through a fifteen minute lecture on respecting our elders and the importance of privacy.

I nearly forgot about Pam’s book, but I remembered as I passed her bedroom door. Slipping it out of my pocket, I entered her room. There were shoes scattered across the floor and the bed was unmade, no doubt from her rushing around earlier. Knowing that she’d check her dresser, I set her book just there. However, I noticed a small, rectangular beige box already sitting there. I would have left it alone until I saw my name written on it. My hand reached out to pick up the box, but I stopped. It’s probably a present, I thought. I shouldn’t open it until it’s given to me. So, with a small hum of uncertainty, I left the bedroom.

Contrary to popular belief, I actually have a pretty simplistic fashion sense. It was nowhere near as bold as Stan’s, and I suppose that’s why we were seen as an odd pair, but I had just a bit more flare than my fellow peers. Everyone was just a copy-and-paste version of each other. They wore the same skinny jeans, the same fitted shirts, the same sneakers. While I never wore bright yellows and greens, I still hadn’t conformed to the everyday go-to fashion line that was their “hot” or “cute”. Besides, Brownsville was so boring, everything and everyone there was so one-dimensional. It only made sense that their choice in clothing was the same. What I’m trying to say is that people thought I had a bold fashion sense because I simply dressed differently, but it was simply how we dressed in my hometown in Kansas. I think Stan would have fit in at home.

I was a back-and-forth routine from my dresser to my bed, texting Dina as I readied myself for Ricky’s party that night. Apparently, she had Sydney over at her house, the two getting ready together. I didn’t have a problem with it, as long as Dina was still picking me up. She informed me that she had just gotten Syd into a cute top that would show more skin than she usually did. Despite not really being her friend, knowing that Sydney was leaving her comfort zone, as small of a step as it was, had me smiling at my phone, However, that smile dropped at the next text Dina sent.

Dina: Omg you HAVE to look cute for Ricky tonight

I rolled my eyes so hard it hurt.

Me: I don’t get dressed up for boys anymore. I do it for myself

And it was true. When Ricky and I dated, I felt as though I had to look the part of the trophy he presented to everyone. I wore clothes I normally didn’t, I wore more makeup, smiled more. Even if they were faked. I didn’t like it. I didn’t like pretending, but Ricky didn’t seem to mind. He’d simply point out that he “liked the new look”. Well, I’ve changed. My half year solitude in Kansas taught me self-awareness, and I became aware that I am fucking hot. So, I did look cute that night, but not for Ricky. I did it for my own pleasure. And I hoped they all liked the new look.

Of course, my go-to bottoms were black high-waisted jeans that stopped just above my navel, paired with a red long-sleeved crop top. To match, I added in little black and red clips in my hair and dusted black eyeshadow on my lids. Afterwards, I stepped in front of my mirror to admire my work. I remember my mom telling me when I was young that looking in the mirror will tell you everything you hope to see in yourself, and I agree with that to some extent. But looking at myself in that moment told me that, despite how shitty I felt on a daily basis, I was more than deserving of reveling in my new adaptation. I wasn’t at my happiest, and lord knows I’m still screwed up, but at least I knew who I was. I wasn’t some angry, emotional ball of anxiety, deprived of parental love. Yes, I was turned away from my father more than ever at that point, but I had realized where all the love for me resided. I was someone’s daughter, someone’s sister, someone’s best friend.

Someone’s girlfriend.

Or whatever the hell we were supposed to be.

Hearing my phone ping, I picked it up and read the text from Dina.

Dina: We’re here

Tucking my phone into my pocket, I slipped on some white sneakers and grabbed Ricky’s present off my vanity before dashing downstairs. I opened the door to find Dina and Sydney standing together on my doorstep. Upon seeing me, their jaws dropped. “Whoa, you look… hot.” Syd raised her brows, and I couldn’t help but smile at her approval. Dina chuckled and nodded.

“Yeah, (Y/N), you always seem to surprise us…”

“I try my best.” I stepped out of the house and locked the front door before facing the two. “Let’s party, shall we?”

-------------------------------------------------

Music thumped from the inside of the house as we approached the driveway, some party goers trickling inside. Sydney, Dina and I all stopped in the middle of the driveway, staring up at Ricky’s house. The two seemed excitedly anxious, but I felt as if I was going to hurl my guts up. The last time I had been in that house wasn’t the most pleasurable experience.

He can’t and won’t do that to you again, (Y/N).

What I would give to go back in time to warn her.

“Shit…” Sydney breathed.

“Okay, I’m scared, but fun scared,” Dina nodded, glancing between me and Syd. “Like we’re about to skydive for the first time or something.”

“Well, I’m not fun scared.” Syd turned her gaze back to the house.

“Me neither…” My voice was just above a whisper.

“Feels like we’re about to be eaten by wolves, like… really drunk, judgemental wolves.”

A moment of silence for all confidence lost.

“We’re gonna be fine,” Dina decided. “I just wish I could inject vodka directly into my veins first.”

“I do have this.” Syd smiled and pulled out a flask. Dina and I grinned before the former took it from her best friend. She took a hearty gulp from the flask before handing it over to me. Not wanting to get too drunk just yet, I took a few sips and handed the flask back to its owner. Once we were fueled up, we headed inside. I’d spent so many hours in Ricky’s house, but so few of those hours were spent partying. The most people I’d seen in his home were about six, including me. That was when he brought me over for dinner the first time and both his older brothers attended. What a waste that dinner was. I led the two up the stairs, kindly waving at my peers who called out to me. Most of them complimented my outfit, to which I quietly thanked. As we entered the main room, the volume of the music and the voices increased so that I was swimming in my surroundings.

“Dina!” I heard Ricky call out. The three of us turned to the birthday boy as he approached us. “Welcome to the madness!”

“Hey.” Dina smiled. His eyes then slid over to me, his own smile brightening.

“And Zip… God, you look great. Really great.”

“Thanks, Ricky. Happy birthday.” I nodded before letting him pull me into his side. I placed a hand on his chest to steady myself as his head turned to Sydney, as if she’d just walked in and didn’t appear with us.

“Hey. Hey. Oh, gosh, don’t tell me. I know it. I know this one.” He acted as if he were trying so hard to remember his own classmate’s name. I rolled my eyes and removed my hand from his chest. Sydney slowly nodded her head, giving him just a bit more time to “think” before answering.

“Sydney.”

“Right! I thought it started with an S, yeah. Well, you guys go enjoy, alright? Zip, why don’t you come and party with me?”

“Oh, well, um…,” My gaze shifted from Ricky’s smile to Dina’s slight frown. Sighing, I gestured for the two to go. “I’ll find you guys later. Have fun.”

“You, too.” They replied simultaneously before Ricky pulled me away to a group of friends. As we walked, I handed the little box over to him.

“Got you something.”

“Awe, babe, you shouldn’t have.” He lightly laughed and took the box into his hands. His eyes widened when he opened it to reveal a gold watch he’d been talking about for awhile. He claimed his father wouldn’t let him buy it because Ricky needed to stop spending so much money on himself. It wasn’t very expensive, so I thought it’d be as good a present as any. With child-like giddiness, he slapped the watch onto his wrist before kissing my cheek. “(Y/N), you are the most thoughtful girl in this world.”

Why did my heart skip a beat? “It was nothing, Ricky… You always go all-out for me, so…” There was no part of me that actually liked Ricky. Remember that. I think the liquor from earlier had just gotten to me. With a soft sigh, he hugged me from behind and walked me to a nearby table where boxes of pizza were displayed.

“You hungry?”

“I am, actually…”

My time spent at Ricky’s party felt as if I were on a mission. Mission Ignore Ricky. He was attached to me the whole time, arm around the bare of my waist, around my shoulders. It was like he needed to be certain that I was still there. That he could still look at me. Everytime I tried to go and find Syd and Dina, he pulled me right back into his side. My only solution was to drink heavily. Whenever someone offered to refill my cup, I accepted. If someone handed over a can of beer, I took it. A shot? Hell yes, count me in! Anything to drown out the sound of his voice in my ears. I’m not a lightweight, so it takes awhile for my haze to kick in. When it did, I was a smiling mess, nodding along to everything everyone said. In my underwater state, I could faintly make out Ricky referring to me as his girlfriend in conversations with his friends. With a grunt, I lazily slapped his shoulder, eliciting laughter amongst them. Within ten minutes, a Rick Springfield song that everyone collectively liked started up in the speakers. We all cheered and began dancing. I happily laughed as Ricky rested his hands on my hips, the two of us grooving to the music. He shook his head as he marveled at my drunken state.

“I’ve missed this…”

“Getting drunk?”

“No. Your smile. Your laugh,” He leaned forward. “I’ve missed you.”

“That’s so… poetic.” I whispered, causing a quiet laugh to escape his throat. My eyes slid to the right to find Stan. My breathing quickened at the sight of him in a baby blue suit, sitting alone on a couch with Dina and Syd dancing together in front of him. How I wished to be over there… Especially when he looked up and locked eyes with mine. All of the air in my lungs was kicked out at the relieved smile he gave me, and I breathed out in the same emotion. He’s here…

Ricky suddenly looked up over my head, an even wider smile stretching across his face. “Bra-a-ad! You made it!” He exclaimed and walked the both of us over to his best friend. The two high-fived as I blinked rapidly, as if I’d sober up from it.

“Dude, I had to come,” Brad smiled before his attention moved to me. “Zip, hey!”

“Hey.”

“Did you come here with Dina?”

“Yeah, yeah, she’s… um, dancing or something.” I giggled. Brad nodded with a raised brow.

“Someone’s been havin’ fun, huh?” He chuckled before I felt Ricky turn away.

“Hey, everyone! Bradley Lewis in the house!” He announced, cheers erupting from the party participants. They all cheered for a speech, which I found unnecessary, but leaned my head on Ricky’s shoulder as I listened to Brad quiet everyone.

“Eighteen years and nine months ago today, George Reginald Berry and his sweet wife Carol-”

“That’s not their names.” Ricky shook his head in amusement, everyone quietly laughing with him.

“They were drinkin’ a little bit of pinot grig’, and they were blastin’ some Neil Diamond. And then nine months later, Richard “Dickwad” Berry was born. And thank god for that because the Berrys’ birthday parties are the fucking best! To Ricky, everybody!”

With the cheers that followed, I found it to be my perfect time for escape. I slipped away from Ricky and squeezed through countless bodies to reach the back door. Stumbling outside, I caught myself on the railing towards the stairs that led off the deck. With difficulty, my wobbly legs took me down to the side of the house, where my hero was leaning against, readying a joint. There was no doubt my ceaseless giggling was what attracted his attention. He chuckled and watched as I stumbled towards him, falling into his side. Stan wrapped an arm around me as I laughed.

“Hey, there, lovely.”

“Hi, beautiful.” I grinned up at him, eyes half lidded. His brows drew down for a moment before he remembered his occupied hand. Removing his arm from around me, he took out his lighter, setting a flame to the end of his joint. I watched in fascination as he inhaled the smoke with closed eyes. His curls sat on his forehead, his lips pursed around the joint, his other arm made its way around my shoulders again. I rested my chin on his shoulder before he passed the smoke to me. I happily took a hit and let the peaceful silence fall between us for the five seconds that it lasted.

“So, you and Ricky… How’s that going?”

“How’s what going?” I mumbled.

“You know, you guys dating. It’s what he’s telling everyone.”

“Oh, my god, I knew he was telling everyone!” I groaned and ran a hand over my face. “I’m so sick of that. He can’t just... f-fucking, um… fucking lie to everyone like that! We are not dating, we’ve never even talked about it! What the hell, dude… I don’t even get why he’s so in love with me, Stan…”

He didn’t reply at first, but when I looked up, I realized it was because he was smoking. When he pulled the joint from his lips, he stared forward. “I mean, he’s got someone amazing, if you guys were actually dating. Believe it or not, (Y/N), you’re the coolest person I’ve ever met. And you’re fun and humorous and so driven. You’ve got these huge dreams and you’ll follow every single one of them… I’d be pretty proud if you were my girlfriend,” The second he looked down at me, I giggled loudly. He blushed and moved his eyes to the side. “I-I’m- I’m serious!”

Elevating myself with my toes, I closed the gap between us in a sloppy kiss. I could taste the alcohol on his lips and I was sure he could taste the same on mine. My hands reached up and placed themselves on his cheeks. I felt him lean more into the kiss for a second before he quickly ripped himself away, as if he were just burned. He blinked over and over as I tried to settle my blurry vision on him. Shaking his head, he sighed.

“(Y/N), you’re drunk.”

“I’m drunk.”

“Yeah, we can’t do this.” He seemed to be telling himself more than to me. I pouted and loosely wrapped my arms around him.

“I love you, Stan…”

“I love you, too, but I think you should get inside and find Dina.” He ushered me to the stairs and watched as I carefully planted my foot on the first step.

“Okay… I’m sorry, Stan.”

“You’re fine, I promise.”

“Okay. I’m gonna go inside, okay? You’re gonna be okay out here by yourself, okay? Okay?” I widened my eyes when he didn’t immediately answer. He let out a short laugh and turned me around again.

“Alright, go inside and find Dina.”

“‘Kay. I love you, Stan.”

“I love you, too. I’m gonna stand here and watch you go.”

“Have fun.” I sang and ungracefully made my way up the stairs and back inside the house.

Apologizing to the many people I bumped into, I found myself in the hallway, in between the bedrooms. My head felt like it weighed tons, my eyes wanted to close so badly. I felt a hand on my shoulder and leaned into the body behind me.

“There you are. I’ve been looking for you.”

My head whirled around to find Ricky behind me. I felt myself deflate in disappointment. “Hey, Ricky…”

“Where’ve you been, babe?”

“Oh, I was talking to my friend outside.” I grinned at the thought of Stan. Ricky raised a brow in amusement and I quickly covered my mouth as to not let the moment between Stan and I slip out. His dark brown orbs flickered between me and the door behind me before he gently took hold of my arm.

“Let’s go somewhere private, okay?”

“Okay.” I whispered, allowing him to guide me wherever. Before I knew it, we were in a room. I heard the click of a lock from behind before Ricky was suddenly in front of me. My head swam as I surveyed my surroundings, quickly realizing we were in his bedroom. “Oh, what are we doing?”

“Shh, shh, don’t worry about it.” He whispered. I hummed a little tune as I felt his hands move to my exposed skin, tracing little shapes. He littered my jaw in small kisses as he discarded my top. I shivered and wrapped my arms around my torso for warmth.

“Ricky, what are we doing?” I repeated as he popped the button of my jeans loose. Gasping, I moved his hands away. “No, no… I don’t want to…” I weakly protested.

“No, it’s okay, babe, it’s okay.” He shushed me. I felt myself fall back into his cool bed sheets. I blinked slowly. Once, his ceiling. Twice, his ceiling. Thrice, him. He was on top of me, my pants were gone, and his hands were travelling places I never wanted them to be. I let out a whine of protest, but he clearly took it as pleasure.

“Ricky…” I sighed out as his finger hooked under my bra strap. “Don’t… Stop…” I squirmed under him, both my stupor and high clouding my consciousness.

I don’t remember it. I don’t remember how it felt. I just didn’t like it. I didn’t like Ricky.

Sunlight pierced my eyelids as I felt warm lips on my forehead. I opened my eyes to find Ricky, fully dressed in different clothing than I last saw him in. He was holding out a glass of water and a couple pills. “For your head.”

“My head?” I whined, but hissed right when a splitting headache spread across my skull. I sat up, holding my head. My body was suddenly freezing cold and when I went to wrap my arms around myself, I saw that I was bare. Gasping, I clutched Ricky’s covers over me. “Oh, my god…”

“Yeah,” Ricky chuckled and set the medicine down. “We were so drunk last night… Anyway, I wanna take you out for brunch, so you should start getting ready. You can wear my clothes, babe.” He spoke as he headed out of the room, closing the door behind him. My eyes travelled to my undergarments on the floor not too far from the bed.

Fuck.

—————————————

Taglist: @melinda-hargreeves @sapphicsyn @stqnley @lonely-kermit @juliet-does-not-give-a-fuck @moatsnow

[sailorsophiee]

the relationship dynamics this episode! not you and zack miss jenn! but the ones in our main theater group! and how they all focus on different parts or tropes of a relationship

nina and richard

i personally think nina being on her own and then that talk with miss. jenn during the snow storm is why she’s become more independent. i can’t remember if they’re sophomores???? but now, at least where i’m from is where they start drilling it into your head that you have a future to think of, it’s time to start being independent and finding what you want to do! and that’s exactly what nina has done for herself, and she loves it! she’s starting to realize not every minute of every day needs to be spent with ricky, or the fact that she needs to do certain things to make him happy (pineapple pizza fiasco) that is great and the love the slow decline of their relationship, cause i could never stand them as a couple. ricky…now i’m not gonna give him a lot of flack (even though i can’t stand him as a character) cause he is struggling right now with so many different variables, but the one thing that is the same (or was) is his relationship with nina! everything has already changed so much between the two of them, and he’s begging for that one thing to stay normal. though i can completely understand that want in life, that doesn’t give him an excuse to be a complete dick half the time as thats (as we can see) tearing them apart faster. (he’s also not that big on communication, unless it’s not with nina) so i saw this tweet and i think it’s really important to hear, as i relate too it a lil too much ricky will always love nini, and nini will always love ricky but it’s okay if they fall out of love and end up with someone else. if i had to give rini a trope, i wouldn’t because i don’t think they really fit into any of them (not even the sad ones) the relationship stage, the last part of falling out of love. if we get anything from this breakup that dear god i hope happens, both should be single!

ashlynn and big red

i love these two with my whole heart, because them and seblos have just been great! especially with communication! them fighting in the latest episode well, it broke my heart. i know i previously said antoine had done nothing wrong! but he has, with hitting on ashlynn (even after she said she was with big red) and then making fun of big red! #notcool! for them, i think this is more on big red’s side, i don’t know if he heard the conversation between the two, but it seems like he did after being compared to every “conventually attractive male” in the show. that would hurt! that would hurt anyone who’s ever has had to deal with self esteem! ashlynn sees this, and even feels sorry for her poor choice of words at the end and does want to talk to him! big red is now trapped in that hole think ashlynn wants something more, which is clear she doesn’t! so looking at the promo it does seem big red wants to just forget it ever happened while ashlynn bringing it up hurts! no trope once more, but i had to be a stage of a relationship, probably, this is one of our first conflicts (they had the one at valentines, but you get it) and i do want to talk but i’m scared. they’ll be okay :)

gina and ej are

after some critical thinking i think i still ship these two in theory, like a au type of thing like they bump into each other in the future when they’re both in college! so yeah! besties for now, lovers in the future! on their relationship, this episode (they’re here cause let’s be real probs is gonna happen, with the current set up) i like that if they were to ever really get in a relationship they’d seem like one with good communication and the one where it just feels like a friendship but with cuddling and kissing. we don’t get much of them but from what we do see, these do clearly trust and find comfort in each other. honest to god last season when we got wonderstudies i really just said “i love a good theater friendship” i didn’t expect a full blown possible relationship. i think in contrast to everyone, because they have this friendship right now with a great bond and #communicationskills something that so many people in this show lack! y’all i can’t stress how important it is!! trope! for them! two! best friends to eventual lovers in ze future and right person, wrong time (in the sense they’d get together in the future

sebbie and carlos

disney said “that’s enough representation for today” after the quinceañero episode. our power couple has once again been put in the background (for the most part, i just don’t expect any major plot lines for them) because we never get much with them (unfortunately) i have no choice but to say perfect

if there are any takeaways from this is definitely just communication (though i know it can be difficult for teenagers, but still very important to at least try) :D this took me like three hours for the sole reason after coming back from work i passed out.

[zukkaoru]

Fic Writer Review

tagged by @bisexualpercabeth tysm for the tag!! <3

1. how many works do you have on AO3? 85 lol

2. what’s your total AO3 word count? 489,407.. don't ask how much of that is just from the past year lol

3. how many fandoms have you written for and what are they? i have posted fics for 20 different fandoms on ao3 and i am not going going to list them all out but my top five are atla, 0uat, tlok, h$mtmt$, and tales of arcadia

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. plum blossom 2. you clutched my brain and eased my ailing 3. my calamitous love & insurmountable grief 4. five times ryan came out (and one time he couldn't) 5. feels like love

5. do you respond to comments, why or why not? i usually try to but sometimes i simply do not know what to say. or i let too many comments build up in my inbox and end up just not responding bc i'm overwhelmed oops

6. what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? uh. it's gotta be one of my old 0uat fics bc i don't usually like to write angsty endings anymore skdgfdj i'm not sure i want to link to any specific oneshot but if you're curious you can look back through my ao3 ig there's also looked me in the eye and told me you would never go away but that's part of a series so the entire coherent story doesn't end angstily lol

(continued under the cut)

7. do you write crossovers? if so what is the craziest one you’ve written? i don't really anymore but oh boy. the craziest one i've ever written? one of my friends and i started writing a fic back when we were like ten and we literally called it The Megacrossover (the mega for short) bc we just. shoved as many fandoms as we could in that thing. it started out just being a pjo / hp / thg crossover where the characters got reaped for a hunger games based on their cabin at camp half-blood but then we ended up including doctor who and 0uat in the plot to get everyone out of the arena, and then we brought in olaf for some reason (?) and we also had plans to bring in characters from divergent and the maze runner but unfortunately we never finished. anyway. long live the mega. it's still in a binder on my bedroom floor at home

8. have you ever received hate on a fic? yeah but not recently. my favorite was someone hate commenting on chapter eleven of a doctor who fic i posted on ff.net that i wrote when i was like 13-14. and when i called them out in the author's note of the next chapter, saying "if you don't like you don't have to read" they commented again and said something like "well obviously you don't know if you don't like it until you start reading, stupid" like yeah bro but. eleven chapters? if it took you that long to realize you didn't like it, that's sounds like a you problem

9. do you write smut? if so what kind? nope lol

10. have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i know of lol

11. have you ever had a fic translated? nope

12. have you ever co-written a fic before? not besides The Mega. but corey and i create (mostly cursed) AUs together which is close enough <3

13. what’s your all time favorite ship? i am morally obligated to answer outlaw queen for this. but currently matchablossom is occupying all my thoughts

14. what’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? oh there are so many atla fic ideas i have that i'm not sure i'll ever have time to flesh out and write. there's one i came up with based very loosely on the song snow by ricky montgomery that's sokka-centric but it's very complex and elaborate and i could definitely see it being upwards of 200k words and i just. don't have time for it which is very sad to me bc it would be so good if i did

15. what are your writing strengths? i'm so bad at questions like this. i don't know?? sometimes i write and i like everything about what i'm writing and sometimes i write and i hate it all. i guess dialogue ? sure

16. what are your writing weaknesses? action scenes. describing the physical details of the setting. sometimes (see: a lot of times) i write sentences so long and convoluted that they make sense to no one other than me.

17. what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? gonna be honest i really haven't seen that much of this? like i think it's cool when it comes up bc i love other languages! but i also always worry i'm going to be mistranslating something whenever i do it skdhjgfd also if you're going to be doing a lot of it, i feel like you should probably include a translation somewhere so people know what's going on without having to like. switch back and forth between the fic and google translate or smth

18. what was the first fandom you wrote for? percy jackson

19. what’s your favorite fic you’ve written? it's probably gotta be this ultraviolet morning light (which is now on the second page of my fics what the heck???) tuvml is my baby and the longest fic i've finished to date and i still think about how rising sun verse zuko and sokka are doing quite often. i've also still got a couple half-finished fics for that universe and a longer sequel i'd love to publish someday but i've been. distracted by other fics

tagging (with no obligation): @that-was-anticlimactic @smilehoneyy @bisexuallsokka @beachytablecloth and anyone else who wants to!!

[rockandroobuckaroll]

Shyan Mafia AU - Chapter One

This is the first chapter of my first Shyan fic, so any comments/notes would be helpful. I'm currently waiting on an email from A03 to make a new account, so when it's up I'll start uploading this there too.

A couple people asked about this too being @watcher-savage and @celestial-e I apologise in advance for my inability to write chapters less than 5000 words haha

This is a mafia AU where Ryan is a newbie in the mob, looking to gain protection. He’s sent after a guy known only as ‘Legs’ to take care of business... only things aren’t so simple as that. Ryan must lure this ‘Legs’ guy out to some place quiet... but he’s not the only guy in town who’s after him.

Life hadn't been easy for Ryan Bergara. He'd been on his own most of his life, not many friends and he had no family that he was particularly close with. Ryan didn't know what had happened to his parents or younger brother, only that they were six feet under and not by natural causes. It had happened one night when he wasn't home, instead he was out partying with his old friends from college. He'd come home to a sight that caused many sleepless nights, a sight decorated with shades of red that he could never wash out of his clothes.

Ryan had been a paranoid man from that night onwards, afraid he was next on the list and he would be murdered some day soon. It lead him to lead a sheltered life, shut away from friends and remaining family. If he was on his own maybe people would forget he existed entirely. Being alone kept him alive, despite the loneliness it brought him.

It was this loneliness that eventually brought Ryan to a decision that would change his life forever.

Ryan needed protection and he craved a family like the one he used to know and love, and there was a way to kill two birds with one stone;  he did have to admit he must have been crazy to come to the conclusion however. His dad was a wealthy, powerful man, he and his wife had ties to higher ups that they kept secret. Ryan knew they weren't just rumours made up by people in the street, after all he'd been at family dinners where strangers in sharp suits were invited, he'd overheard meetings and phone calls. It was certainly no secret to him that his family were part of the Californian Mafia.

During the day his dad was a humble dentist but by night he was out in a tailored suit, attending meetings and 'taking care of business'. Ryan's mom always joked that his dad was part of the men in black and that he used to go out and hunt aliens and as a child he had believed her. As he grew older and pieced together the truth Ryan thought it was pretty cool what his dad did, although that novelty came to an abrupt end the night they lost their lives.

It was a longshot, but he hoped that the men who used to come round his house for dinner would take him in, train him up, and give him the protection that he needed to sleep at night. He could be brave if he was in the mob, he had to be, and maybe he could finally get some sleep at night. If he couldn't all those years of shutting himself away would have been pointless and Ryan didn't ever want to admit that to himself.

That was how he found himself sat in a leather armchair in a small office, sat opposite a man he recognised from his youth. The man was much older now, hair grey and he wore glasses that weren't previously needed, but he still had the same believable kindness behind his eyes - though Ryan knew better than to trust that kindness.

"I'm glad you came to us Ricky, we can give you the protection you need." The elderly man sat behind the desk spoke, his voice smooth and soothing. He may not look it, but the man in front of him was the big boss of the Californian Mafia, overseeing the ins and outs of the entire organisation; he was known only as Father Thomas. He was a man no one wanted to cross.

"Um, my name is Ryan, sir." Ryan corrected him, realising afterwards that he probably should have known better. If the movies were anything to go off he shouldn't talk back to these kinds of people.

"Ryan, my child, you don't want to give out your identity to men who are going to use it against you. From now on if someone asks for your name, you tell them its Ricky: Ricky Goldsworth." The Father had a point, although Ryan assumed it would take him a while to get used to that alias - he would probably have to write it down. "You're new here and you want our protection... but not everything is free, Ricky."

"I'll do anything, sir." He was honest when he said 'anything'. Ryan wouldn't have resorted to the mafia if he wasn't willing to leave his old miserable life behind him.

Father Thomas leaned forward, elbows resting on the dark oak desk and his chin atop his interlaced fingers. "Anything?" He looked Ryan in his eyes, peering deep into his very soul. "Here's the thing, Ricky. I believe you when you say you'll do anything, I do... but I don't know if my good friends will be willing to back you up. So I've got a little job for you. It's a risky job, you'll be tested for sure, but if you pull it off I can make you very wealthy very quickly... and throw in a couple of trained assistants of mine to keep you safe at night." The Father leaned back again much to Ryan's relief and opened up one of the heavy looking drawers on the desk, pulling out a large, beige binder and flipping through before taking a page out.

The paper had a personal file, a photo attached with a paperclip at the top. There wasn't much known about him, no name to call him; only an alias was written down. "This here guy is a bit of a troublemaker for us. We've lost many good men to him, he's cunning and has a perfect record when it comes to his work."

"And you want me to..."

"To take care of business, yes." Ryan suddenly wasn't so sure. He picked up the photo of the man. He had dark hair slicked back and had a slender build. He was wearing a navy suit with a white shirt only half buttoned up and sunglasses covering his eyes. "We don't know all that much about this guy, only that he goes by the nickname 'Legs' and that he's extremely hard to catch. If you go after him your loyalty and dedication to us will be tested, naturally, as well as your skill and methods. I can't promise you'll ever come back though... so what's it going to be, Ricky?"

Ryan thought over carefully. He couldn't deny his heart was pounding so loud in his ears that Father Thomas could probably hear it, nor that his hands shook slightly as he held the photo. He was terrified of what this 'Legs' could do to him, or what he had done to others. He was also terrified of his own desperation. He was scared of how tired of being paranoid he was, how tired he was of being scared and alone. If things didn't work out and he ended up getting killed... would that really be so bad?

A snarky voice in the back of Ryan's mind told him he should have probably gone back to his therapist instead of paying the mob a visit, but it was far too late to listen to logic and reasoning now.

"Where was he last sighted?" Ryan bravely spoke up, gaining a small smile from the man in front of him. Ryan knew whichever way things went it would be a win-win for him - though deep down he had a feeling things were more realistically lose-lose, it wouldn't hurt to at least try.

"Yesterday in New Orleans, that's when that photo was taken." Ryan placed the photo down on the desk and looked over the rather empty file, he'd be going into this practically blind. "We've got an unused hotel in that area you can use to take care of him, one of my boys will give you the keys. We can get you a flight too, private of course."

"New Orleans..." It was a long way from home, although Ryan was almost glad of that. He'd only left his home state of California a few times and only ever as a child, on holidays and such. Hopefully leaving the state would do his mental health some good. "When's the flight?"

"We can get you in the air by six in the morning, you'll have all day to get your bearings and get to work." Ryan hadn't expected it to be so soon, although he supposed he didn't have to make up any excuses to anyone about where he was going. His job at the local theatre realistically wouldn't get him anywhere anyway and they could easily replace him in an instant. He had hoped one day to be making his own movies, or at the very least work on big productions, but it was a difficult industry to crack.

"Six AM..." He nodded to himself. "Okay... I'll do it."

Ryan was restless that evening, barely touching his bland microwave meal and constantly reorganising his suitcase, filling it with only the essentials and his best sneakers. He showered and sat on the edge of his bed beside his opened suitcase until early hours in the morning, going over what he had to do. The plan was relatively simple: find this 'Legs' guy, take him to the hotel and... it was the last step Ryan was having trouble coming to terms with.  He knew he would have to kill some guy he had never met. He probably had a family, maybe a wife or a child - at the very least he probably lived alone with a cat. Could he really do that? Could he really take someone's life?

He had opened his laptop and looked at Google Maps for a solid hour, trying his best to memorise the streets of New Orleans, the routes he would have to take to get to the old hotel the mafia had given him the key for. He didn't know how he was even find 'Legs', New Orleans is a big city after all, though he had been tipped about a diner that the man had been seen frequenting over the past few weeks so hopefully that was a start. Part of him hoped he never ran into him and that he would just have to live a quiet life in Louisiana, surely the deep south couldn't be all bad.

Hoping that he had everything memorised, Ryan decided that there was no point in getting any sleep now, he could just hopefully sleep during the three hour flight. He changed into something that would make him look like he was going on a business trip, something the guys at the office had informed him would be his cover up. If anyone asked him he was taking care of the hotel to prepare it for new ownership, that was all they needed to know. He settled on a silver suit and with a black tie, hoping he didn't look too affiliated with any gang; he didn't want to go over the top and wear a fedora with sunglasses, that was way too cliché.

By four in the morning there was a knock on his door and before he knew it he was on a private jet making his way to New Orleans. Ryan watched as the sleepy city slowly awoke, the sun slowly making it's way above the horizon. It didn't take long for his lack of sleep to catch up with him and a few minutes of resting his eyes managed to turn into him sleeping through his short flight. The next thing he knew was that he was being prodded awake by the pilot.

The pilot in front of him was a, quite frankly, dodgy looking, slender individual. His dark hair was greasy and slicked back and his eyes were just as dark as his hair. His skin was tan with little blemishes on his sunken face and his nose was crooked, his teeth matching the nature of his nose and were in desperate need of a dentist. He wore a pinstripe suit, black with thin cream stripes, over-polished shiny black dress shoes and a cufflink shaped like a red dice adorned the white shirt that peaked out from his slightly short sleeves. He was almost the complete opposite of Father Thomas.

"We're here." He sounded just as slimy as he looked, Ryan couldn't believe he actually fell asleep knowing it was only the two of them on the plane; he would be sure to check for any scars when he was alone later on to see if he had any missing kidneys. "You know what you're doing, right?"

"Yeah." A simple yet effective lie.

"Good. Then get off my jet." He ushered Ryan and his luggage out, the poor man still half asleep and aching from sitting in one spot for three hours. "If you by some miracle get the job done give Father Thomas a call, I'll come back and fetch you. Good luck."

With that hurried goodbye, Ryan was left on his own in a city he didn't know. He knew he should have been nervous, probably terrified given what he was supposed to be doing there, yet the only thing he felt was hungry. He'd skipped breakfast and barely ate any of his dinner the night before. He decided the best thing to do was find somewhere to get a bite to eat and ask around for any clues where to find this 'Legs' guy; Father Thomas had informed him of the perfect place.

Diners were always a hit and miss experience, although the small building that had been recommended by Father Thomas seemed to house a semi-decent establishment. It had a pleasant scent of coffee and bacon, mixed with a hint of pine from the décor. It was cosy, welcoming and much to Ryan's relief: empty. Not to mention, apparently 'Legs' had been sighted coming in and out of there all week. It was the perfect spot to start looking.

He sat at one of the barstools and looked up at the menu, mouth already beginning to salivate at just the stock photos of the food they served. "Hiya, hon, what can I get you?" A young, blonde waitress appeared from the beaded curtains, a smile on her face that didn't quite reach her eyes; a symptom of an early shift in the quieter outskirts of the city.

"Hi, can I get a black coffee and some pancakes please." At this point Ryan would eat anything, even if it came out of the trash.

"Sure thing, hon." She scribbled down the order and took the payment before pouring Ryan his coffee from the glass pot. The first sip burned his tongue but it helped wake him up a little. A few minutes later the waitress returned with a plate of pancakes drizzled in maple syrup with bacon placed on top: it looked picturesque.

"Thank you." Ryan remembered the manners his mom had taught him many years ago before shoving far too much into his mouth, closing his eyes as he savoured his first mouthful. Before he could ask the woman about places of interest that may attract mob guys or murderers (or both) the bell on the door rang, meaning another customer had walked in. Ryan didn't turn around to meet them, instead taking another sip of his coffee.

The customer sat two seats away from him, the waitress smiling at him the same way she had at Ryan. "Hiya hon, the usual?"

"Yes please." The man spoke in a quiet but kind voice, although his accent stuck out to Ryan. It wasn't that it was a strong accent, quite the opposite actually. It certainly wasn't from around here. "Thank you."

The waitress disappeared back into the kitchen, leaving the two men in silence. Ryan took another sip of his coffee as the man tried to start up a conversation. "Pancakes? Now that's in poor taste. It's waffles all the way." Ryan almost spit out his coffee - not at the comment but at the man's appearance.

This was the guy from the photo: this was 'Legs'.

"You alright? Don't choke." He laughed at Ryan, his eyes crinkling up at the corners as he did. Ryan had to fight every instinct not to bolt out of the diner there and then. Here he was, trying to enjoy his breakfast and now all of a sudden he was having a conversation with a murderer... well, he would have to respond in order to have a conversation.

"Uh..." Ryan struggled to find the words to say. "Pancakes are way better." He settled on, 'Legs' shaking his head and turning back to the waitress as she brought him a plate of waffles before disappearing back into the kitchen. "Is that how you like to talk to strangers?"

"Oh, sorry..." He seemed to become shy all of a sudden as he realised his conversation starter had been a bit rude. "You don't sound like you're from around here. You here on business?" It was a fair question to someone who was dressed in a suit although Ryan could feel beads of sweat forming at the back of his neck. Did he know? Could this guy sniff out someone in the mob at a glance? He was a professional from what Ryan had heard, for all he knew the guy had spotted the plane landing and followed him there, planning to kill him behind the diner.

"Yeah... something like that." Ryan cleared his throat and steadied his hands on his coffee cup. They had begun to shake, betraying him when he needed to remain calm.

'Legs' hummed a response and begun digging into his waffles. Ryan needed to think quick. He needed a reason to keep him around, not let him out of his sight. The hotel key Father Thomas had given him felt like it was burning into his leg like a beating heart under the floorboards, reminding him of all his troubles. He was starting to panic already. He really wasn't cut out for this despite his efforts to try and convince himself otherwise. "Hey, don't mean to sound rude but are you alright? You don't look well all of a sudden."

"I'm fine." Ryan's voice shook. Shit. He couldn't afford a panic attack. "I just need some air." Ryan stood from his seat and rushed out the door, his knees feeling like jelly. He took in a few deep breaths as he leaned against the wall, hoping he was just far enough outside that 'Legs' couldn't see him. Fuck. If Ryan couldn't even sit next to the guy and have breakfast and a friendly chat how the hell was he supposed to lure the guy to some abandoned hotel and murder him in cold blood?

"You want me to ask the waitress for some water or something?" 'Legs' poked his head around the door, "You gonna hurl, dude?" 'Oh great', Ryan thought begrudgingly: 'of course he's a nice guy'. No, no he isn't, Ryan had to remind himself. This guy has killed people.

"I'm okay." Ryan kept lying to himself, lowering himself so he was crouching down, his back against the wall. 'Legs' crouched down next to him, his hand on his back to try and comfort him.

"Just breathe, yeah? You're alright." 'Legs' seemed to recognise the signs of an oncoming panic attack. "What's your name? Have you got someone I can call?" 'Stop being so fucking nice', Ryan internally groaned. He shook his head, closing his eyes and just focusing on his breathing. "Okay, I'll stay here with you. Talk you out of it... uh, well shit I can't think of anything to say." He chuckled in such a nonchalant way that made Ryan want to punch the guy.

"Pancakes are better." Ryan managed to mutter in between breaths, deciding to just say anything to change the subject and take his mind off his paranoia. 'Legs' wheezed at that, shaking his head in disbelief.

"You believe what you wanna believe, man." He adjusted his position so that he was sat down properly, legs crossed in front of him. "You're wrong, but hey, opinions and all that baloney."

Once Ryan felt like he was going to be okay, that he wasn't going to have a complete breakdown in front of his future murder victim he looked up to the sky, still avoiding looking at 'Legs'. "My name's Ricky by the way... Ricky Goldsworth." Ryan needed to try and make acquaintances with him while he could; it would hopefully make the upcoming murderous meet and greets less awkward.

"Goldsworth?" He seemed intrigued by that. "Cool name." Ryan was glad he hadn't just seen straight through him immediately. "Nice to meet you Ricky." He held out his hand to shake, Ryan took it and tried to keep his grip firm despite his hands still shaking. He also had to play it off like he hadn't noticed that 'Legs' had completely avoided telling him his name.

"Your breakfast is gonna go cold." Ryan told him to try and change the subject. "Mine too... let's go back inside."

"You alright to stand? You looked a bit wobbly on your feet just now." Ryan was tempted to just put a bullet in the guys head there and then and get his suffering over with. Of course he ended up with the crazed murderer who just happened to be a total sweetheart.

"I'm fine. Come on." Ryan pushed himself up and lead 'Legs' back inside, the two taking the seats they were previously in. Ryan's coffee was still pretty warm and his pancakes hadn't quite turned to soggy mush yet.

"Sorry if I said something to set you off, by the way. I didn't mean to freak you out." 'Legs' spoke in a hushed voice, as though he was trying not to induce more panic into Ryan.

"It's alright... it's been a long night. I'm just on edge I guess." Ryan took a bite of his breakfast, he wasn't that hungry anymore but he also knew he would regret it later if he didn't finish it. "It's not your fault." Ryan took another sip of coffee to wash it down.

"Well, I don't know if you're free sometime soon but there's a nice bar in town, I was planning on going out tonight if you wanted to join me." That was the second time 'Legs' had made him choke on his coffee. He hadn't expected to be asked out by the guy he was supposed to kill. "Uh, well, you don't have to if you don't want to!" He quickly gave Ryan the option to turn him down, his cheeks bright red and he couldn't meet his eyes.

This was perfect. 'Legs' had practically signed his own death warrant... granted that Ryan could actually pull the job off. Everything had fallen into place however, he would be an idiot to turn it down.

"That sounds... that sounds great actually." Ryan tried not to sound so relieved that he didn't have to make up some bullshit excuse to stalk this guy without it being weird.

"Really?" God, Ryan felt like such an asshole. He wasn't stupid, he knew what was happening. 'Legs' was showing interest, he was inviting him out and was shy when he asked the question. Now 'Legs' was feeling immense relief that Ryan had offered to spend the night getting to know him. He was leading him on and wouldn't even get the chance to let him down gently. "Shit, I didn't actually expect you to say yes! I mean, on my part even I can say this is bad timing!" He was giddy like a child, not helping the sinking feeling in Ryan's stomach.

"I'm always up for a good time." Ryan played along to the best of his ability. This guy was digging his own grave without Ryan even having to try, he didn't want to let the opportunity go to waste. "I've got to... there's this hotel I'm looking after at the moment. It's gonna be refurbished and I've got this job to basically check in and make sure none of the shit gets stolen. I can meet you after work if you want?"

"You're looking after a hotel? You're not gonna go all Jack Torrance on me and come after me with an axe, are you?" Even if it was a great movie he was referencing Ryan couldn't help but nervously chuckle at the irony.

"Wouldn't dream of it." 'Just drink your coffee and don't make eye contact Ryan', he thought to himself in desperation. He picked up his napkin and took a pen out of his blazer pocket. He'd childishly put it there in case he needed to go all spy-movie-action-scene and use the pen as a weapon, but he supposed using it for it's intended purpose would do for now. "Here's the address." Ryan had memorised it off by heart after fretting over his plans the night before. "Meet me about seven-ish?"

"Seven-ish." 'Legs' spoke aloud his mental note as he took the napkin and glanced at the address. "This isn't that far from the bar actually." That was lucky for Ryan, he wouldn't have to bring 'Legs' half way across the city just to kill him.

Ryan's plan was pretty simple, if not slightly manipulative - though he decided that if he was plotting to kill someone he would have to put his morals on the back bench for the time being. He would go out for a few drinks with 'Legs', get him to loosen up, bring him back to the hotel, lock the door so no one would accidentally wander in on his murder scene and then take care of him in the basement. One flaw he found with his plan was that he realised he still hadn't been told a name for his victim, not a nickname or initials: nothing. Ryan was starting to wonder if he was the one manipulating the situation, that he was the one in control... he had a feeling 'Legs' had his own ulterior motives behind inviting him out.

By the time seven rolled around Ryan almost felt sick with nerves. After preparing everything he needed in the hotel he was sat on the steps at the front door, staring at his blank phone screen in front of him to seem less conspicuous when he heard a call for his name - well, the name he had given out as a cover.

"Ricky?" Ryan looked up and smiled at the man before him. 'Legs' had changed out of the striped hoodie and jeans he wore that morning, he was wearing a dark blue shirt with red Hawaiian flowers on it which caught Ryan's attention. He'd never actually seen someone pull off a flower shirt like that and not look like a dad on vacation.

"Hey." Ryan stood up and climbed down the stairs, feeling slightly intimidated by the guy. He found it strange that he was wary of a paper thin guy in a flower shirt, but when put into the context that said guy towered over him in height he found himself feeling strangely inferior - that and he was a fucking murderer, Ryan had to keep reminding himself of that fact.

With a nervous breath 'Legs' gave a smile, "Shall we get going? The bar's down this way." Ryan smiled and nodded, following the taller man down the street

'Time to act your heart out' Ryan thought to himself, 'Play it cool, don't be suspicious'.

The bar was starting to fill with patrons though it didn't seem to be as busy as some of the others, Ryan was glad of that. The less people that saw him there the better. 'Legs' took the gentlemanly approach and offered to buy the first round, Ryan watching closely to make sure his drink hadn't been spiked before taking his first sip.

It had been a while since Ryan had been out like this, he had missed it if he was honest. The last time he was out drinking he... Ryan shook away the thought with a frown. He wouldn't think about that tonight, not now that he was about to cause someone else to find their family member brutally murdered.

'Legs' had noticed Ryan's frown and looked nervous, as though he was calculating the right thing to say. This night must have been important to him, he was trying so hard not to mess it up. Ryan felt immense guilt but knew he couldn't wallow in it all night. He needed the night to go well too, given that he needed to get him back to the hotel. He hoped it would be willing and not Ryan dragging him back kicking and screaming.

"Thanks for coming out tonight." 'Legs' started, talking over the music with his best efforts. "I mean, I really thought you were gonna turn me down."

"I needed something like this, I should be the one thanking you." Ryan wished he meant that, he wished he was just out on what felt like a date - it probably would have been considered one in Ryan's mind but 'Legs' still had neglected to give him a name. It was a sobering reminder that the man in front of him could very well have his own plans of murder. His nice guy act was so cliché anyway, serial killers were always known like that. It was the whole Norman Bates schtick, the type of guy who wouldn't hurt a fly, socially awkward yet charming. Ryan hoped he wouldn't get stabbed to death by this guy dressed as his mother later on, though it would certainly be an unexpected twist to his evening.

"Is it a tough life, looking after hotels I mean?" He asked, taking a sip of his drink, "Must get pretty lonely having all those rooms to yourself."

"Yeah... it can be." Ryan was used to loneliness, it was just part of his daily life by this point. He supposed if the whole hotel business was his real job he wouldn't think it any different to how he felt when he was sat at home on a Friday night watching movies all on his own rather than reuniting with his college friends and going out to get completely shitfaced. "What do you do, I don't think I asked?" Ryan hoped that question wouldn't scare him off.

"I, uh... I'm actually unemployed at the moment." He was avoiding eye contact again, Ryan knew he was lying anyway. "I'm here on a sort of midlife crisis, trying to see if I can make it on my own sorta thing... it's not going well." He laughed it off and took another, longer sip of his drink.

"You're on your own out here?" Interesting, that meant there would be no one around to search for him if he suddenly went missing. Ryan had interpreted him saying he was unemployed as he wasn't out on a job for the mob in New Orleans. He was just as alone out here as Ryan was. This whole situation just seemed so perfect, though he was wary of how careless it was on 'Legs' part.

"Yeah." Was his only response.

"You must be pretty lonely too then." Ryan didn't like to empathise with a killer, though he knew in just a few short hours he would be one himself. "Guess we can be lonely together." Ryan raised his glass, 'Legs' picking his own up and tapping it on Ryan's, the sound of the clink breaking through the music with ease.

Ryan had anticipated the night to go poorly. He had assumed he would be too nervous to drink or talk for half the night or perhaps for his date to figure out his true identity through some offhanded comment and ditch him or put a bullet between his eyes. What he hadn't expected however was to actually have a good time with him.

The two of them seemed to get along just fine, conversing in topics such as old shitty horror movies that were just charming enough to be enjoyable - or the ones that had practical effects so terrible they were actually hilarious to watch. 'Legs' had listened to Ryan ramble on about how much he loved Disneyland and hadn't been in years, in return Ryan tried his best to pay attention to some anecdotes 'Legs' had from an old D&D game he had played with his friends back in his hometown.

As the number of drinks piled up Ryan actually started to let his guard down, relaxing in his seat and laughing along at the dumb jokes 'Legs' cracked every other minute. He had to hand it to the guy: he was pretty funny. With his guard down he hadn't quite expected 'Legs' to smoothly place his hand over Ryan's as he was fidgeting with his glass, nor had he expected himself not to pull away quickly.

This was his chance.

"Hey... how about we drink up and get out of here, yeah?" Ryan suggested, 'Legs' quirking an eyebrow at him and downing the rest of his drink. "We can go back to the hotel I'm looking after, it's completely empty. It'll be just you and me."

"Lead the way."

The two of them headed out of the bar and into the cool night air, Ryan holding his hand and pulling him along through the crowd as to not lose him. The streets were bustling with the city's nightlife, the people passing them were either already drunk and loud or on their way to join in. Ryan really had missed this, the buzz of it all, but that wasn't what he was here to do, as much as he was hoping that maybe he could spend a couple nights with this guy, go out partying and make stupid decisions together. At the same time however, the last thing Ryan wanted to do was form an attachment; he was already getting dangerously close to that.

"Here we are." Ryan struggled to fit the key into the front door ten minutes later, mentally cursing to his past self for having one round too many. He hated that he'd actually had a good time with 'Legs' tonight. He hated how now it was over, now was the time where 'Legs' whole life was over. The price Ryan was paying to have protection didn't seem worth it all of a sudden, but he'd come this far... giving up now wouldn't sit right with him.

"Give me a room with a view, Goldsworth." 'Legs' put his hand on Ryan's hip, leaning into him and breathing against the back of his ear. It sent shivers down his spine. It took all he had not to throw his plans out the window and lead him to one of the rooms upstairs.

"Got a better idea." Ryan turned around to him. "You said you didn't want me to for obvious reasons... but what if I did go all 'Jack Torrance'? What I'm trying to say is I bet the basement is romantic as fuck." 'Legs' burst out laugh at that, his head dipping and eyes crinkling into thin lines as they had done many times that night.

"You know what? You've won me over." He let Ryan take him by the hand and guide him towards the heavy metal door that lead down a flight of stairs to a mostly empty room, just a boiler and some electronics  that Ryan had no idea the purpose for - probably a fuse box or something. The only light in the room was a simple bulb hanging from a chord on the ceiling, fitting for a room that was soon to house a murder.

The second the door was closed behind 'Legs' Ryan struck out, grabbing the pole he had set out earlier when he was rehearsing this moment over and over again like some crazed fanatic and striking the taller man on the side of the head. It knocked him out in an instant, 'Legs' dropping like a sack of bricks and tumbling down the stairs. Ryan winced, it looked like it hurt. 'Forget your fucking morals, man, you're trying to kill him'. Ryan stared down at his unmoving body from atop the stairs, his breathing heavy in his chest. It was terrifying to him just how easy that was, how simple it had all been. This poor guy was just looking to have a good time and now he was getting murdered for it.

Acting quickly, just in case 'Legs' woke up half way through, Ryan rushed down the stairs and grabbed the chair and the rope had set aside, hauling up the man's deadweight and tying him to the chair. He inspected the wound on his head, blood pooling around the edges but not gushing down like he had imagined it would in his rehearsals.

"Okay... okay, right... what now?" Ryan frantically looked around the room as if looking for clues. "Oh, gun, right." Ryan took the gun he had concealed under the boiler, dusting it off and checking to see if it was loaded. "Right... now wait for him to wake up I guess."

Ryan took the spare chair he had previously placed in the basement just in case things escalated and he had to knock him out with a chair instead of the pole, lucky the craftwork had stayed in one piece. He sat opposite 'legs', hunching over slightly and looking at the gun in his hand. It rattled slightly as his hand shook, looking out of place in his grip. Ryan knew this wasn't right, he knew deep down that this was only going to make his life worse but he was in far too deep now for retrospective analysis.

"Stop shaking." He whispered to himself, using his free hand to wipe the sweat off his forehead. He was panicking again. "Fuck..." He couldn't help but think about the last time he was panicking, crouched down outside the diner this morning. 'Legs' had been there for him then, a comforting presence that had managed to calm him down despite being the reason he was panicking in the first place. He felt like he needed that now.

As if on cue 'Legs' stirred, a faint groan escaping his lips as he struggled to find consciousness. He tilted his head up slowly with a wince, eyes squinting as he looked directly at Ryan. "Huh?" He struggled against the ropes he was tied to, looking at them in confusion as if he couldn't understand why he was now tied up. He seemed to wake up a little more after his brain tried to piece together what was going on, the tall man looking around with a pained expression before his eyes settled back on Ryan.

"Hey sleepyhead." Ryan stood up, putting his acting chops to best use. 'Whatever you say just make it intimidating' he repeated in his head like a mantra. "Have a nice nap?"

"Ricky?" 'Legs' sounded woozy, "What's going on... is this a kink thing or something? I'm not one to judge or anything but some consent would have been nice."

"Wha-" Ryan was baffled by the stupidity that had just come from this guy's mouth. A kink thing? This guy was a well known member of the mob who'd just been knocked out and tied to a chair in a basement like some sort of thriller movie cliché... and then he thought it was just that Ryan had a fucking kink? Not quite what Ryan had been expecting. "No, you idiot! I'm here to kill you!"

"Oh?" 'Legs' seemed to think that over for a minute before the somewhat humoured smile that had previously been on his face was wiped completely. "Oh."

"Yeah, 'oh'." Ryan mimicked as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "I thought this was going to be a lot harder but you just walked right into this... you didn't even question me wanting to take you into the basement! Are you really that dense?"

"In my defence you hit me on the head pretty fuckin' hard." He groaned, almost as if he was trying to get sympathy. Ryan wouldn't take the bait, even if he did sort of feel guilty about it.

"That was after I lured you all the way out here!" Ryan's voice rose in both volume and pitch, holding the gun out and aiming it at 'Legs' head. "I thought mob guys were supposed to be fuckin' smart!"

"Mob guys?" Everything slowly clicked into place for him, he looked almost disappointed, but what he was disappointed about Ryan wasn't so sure. Maybe in himself for being so naïve or perhaps in Ryan for leading him on the way he did to turn out to just be another in a long line of guys that had come after him. "Right, so you're here to kill me then?"

"Yeah, I said that already." Ryan was trying his very best to be patient and take into account the guy had only just woken up after he bashed him round the head with a metal pole. "You're a ballsy guy, I'll give you that. I mean, just going out and partying in New Orleans knowing the Californian mob is after you? I can't tell if it's bold or insane!"

"Well I'm not in California right now, am I? I didn't think they'd be dumb enough to come around here with how high the tensions are between them and the gangs here in Orleans." So he did have a bit of common sense, even if his logic had been flawed. "That and I wasn't expecting the good looking guy in the diner to be some fucking mafia hitman or whatever."

"You think I'm good looking- wait, no. You're not going to flirt your way out of this!" Ryan jabbed the gun in his direction as if to threaten him into shutting up but 'Legs' didn't seem all that phased that his life was in danger. 'Definitely insane' Ryan thought to himself as he glared down at him. Who the hell stays so calm in a situation like this? This guy really is Norman Bates reincarnate. "And I'm not a hitman, I'm part of the Cali mob!"

"You are, are you?" 'Legs' seemed sceptical. "You don't look the part. I mean, you're way too short for one and that tough guy act is fooling no one."

"Man, fuck you! Just because you're as tall as a fucking sasquatch doesn't mean I'm short! Oh my god I cannot believe I was actually considering throwing everything I worked for away and just fucking you instead!" Ryan was aware he was trying to rile him up on purpose, but god dammit it was working like a charm. "Are you forgetting I'm holding a fucking gun here? I'm going to kill you! You should be begging for your life right now!"

"Oh, no, please don't kill me Mr Goldsworth." His voice was dripping with sarcasm. "Although, I mean, if you untie me I could pretend none of this even happened and we could just go upstairs and, y'know." He gave a conspicuous whistle rather than being as blunt as Ryan had been.

"You're insufferable." Ryan couldn't believe this was the same guy he went drinking with, the same guy he was starting to regret luring to the edge of town to kill. He was filled with enough aggression and adrenaline not to feel that regret anymore, but he still couldn't help noticing that his hand still shook slightly as he pointed the gun in 'Legs' face.

"I always thought you mobsters were supposed to be tough guys. You're shaking like a leaf."  'Legs' pointed out which only infuriated Ryan even more. "You really should work on controlling your emotions more, just shut 'em off, y'know?"

"Stop giving me fucking criticism!" Ryan growled, his fist balled at his side before he used it to steady his shaking hand. "I'm literally about to shoot you!"

"Well hurry up with it then, you're starting to look like some incompetent movie villain!" 'Legs' almost sounded bored, impatient even. Ryan figured the guy must be on some next level of crazy if he was practically begging the guy holding a gun to shoot him.

"Don't rush me!" Ryan clicked the safety off on his gun and held it against 'Legs' forehead, the taller man closed his mouth very quickly and his eyes opened wider. Ryan couldn't help but smirk at how quickly he turned his act around.

"Uh, Ricky?" 'Legs' sounded worried all of a sudden, a complete juxtaposition from how he was mere seconds ago.

"Oh, now you're afraid. Didn't take much for that tough guy act to fall through, did it?" Ryan felt proud in a way, proud that he'd actually succeeded in intimidating the guy. Maybe he had it in him after all? Maybe this whole time he had just been overreacting, overthinking. He had the guts to do this, all he had to do now was pull the trigger (after saying something badass like they did in the movies, of course) and it would be over.

"Ricky!" 'Legs' called out, an unmistakeable fear in his tone. "Look out, behind you!"

"Yeah, how stupid do you think I am?" Ryan scoffed, though his tune soon changed when he heard the sound of metal scraping along the floor behind him, something he imagined 'Legs' had heard before Ryan knocked him out earlier. He gasped, eyes widening as he remembered he forgot one crucial step in his plan: he forgot to lock the front door.

Before Ryan could even turn around and defend himself he felt something connect with his temple and the world turned to black in a terrifyingly quick instant.

So much for everything being too easy...

[stiles-hoodie]

HSMTMTS REWATCH

EPISODE 4 - Blocking

• Every time I watch the first scene and they mention how they were trying to bring back the summer, all I can think about is Grease. This makes me think of how would they cast that if the school were to put it on as a production

• Ricky’s mom changing her mind from meeting at the house to the restaurant, then showing up at the house instead says a lot to me. They shouldn’t have decided to have the conversation at a public restaurant, that’s such a bad idea. They wanted a public place so he wouldn’t freak out. They should’ve at least tried doing couples therapy in the same city and kept Ricky in the loop better.

• love big red being confused about theater lingo

• Nini wasn’t able to put aside her personal life outside of rehearsal again and decided to do the dramatic adlib to throw off Ej and to shut him up from singing. Which comes across as petty. I completely understand her being upset but she needs to be a little more professional. Especially because her character is supposed to be written as a really good actress and she hasn’t shown that and will continue to make this mistake again on show night.

• Ricky hugging the pillow is heartbreaking, him being confused over the emotional support hamster is cute. Miss. Jenn convincing him to go back home was a good thing.

• Big Red being yet again another very supportive friend and caring for Ricky fills my heart

• I wonder how long Ricky was up for anyways. I’m assuming he went to Nina’s before 12 because she was still pretty up and her moms weren’t trying to get her to sleep for school the next day. The boy probably skated around as much as he could before he even went home. So I think the latest he would’ve gotten home would’ve been at least 12:30 or before but I’m not sure

• Nini's first instinct is to try to kick Ricky out after her mom explains Rickys having a hard time at home, not a part of her thought to think that the fact that he is having a bad day too. Her bad day was with Ej, not Ricky. She should’ve taken in the fact that he was even there as a sign that his day might’ve been worse than hers because he couldn’t even go home, which should be a safe place. Not to mention he was there and not at Big Red’s she knew both of them long enough to know that he would’ve gone there if he could.

• Ricky in the pride shirt

• Ricky felt like he fucked up when he tried to kiss her and he was already in a vulnerable place. He probably thought leaving was the best thing to do at this moment. Not just because he was heartbroken but because he probably starting to get in his head how much he fucked up and thought Nina would be comfortable with him gone. Let's be real here Ricky has depression so he’d feel like him not being around people will make them happier. Even if it is wrong.

• All I want is a really good song and Olivia sounds good and it works well with moments. I’m going to be honest though I don’t listen to the song a lot. I think it works well with the show and I’ll listen to it with the show, but outside of the show, I don’t find myself wanting to listen to it as much as other ones for some reason.

• At least she isn’t leaving right away, but damn the head earbuds scene is relatable as hell. Que Hermit The Frog - Marina and The Diamonds