#Remus used to be very withdrawn as a child

[i-will-physically-fight-you]

6. “Not to be dramatic, but I’m back from the dead. Hope y’all missed me.” With Virgil and Remus?

Title: On a Stormy Sea of Emotion

Word-Count: 1.7k

Summary:

"Not to be dramatic, but I'm back from the dead. Surprise!" Remus shoots a pair of finger guns, droplets of blood spraying out from his finger tips, "Hope y'all missed me."

The cloaked figure, the target of his finger guns, does not move. Their facemask, elegantly carved to mimic a raven, stares Remus down apathetically.

Remus laughs, clasping his hands behind his neck as he leans against a building that makes up the alleyway of their standoff, "C'mon, old man. I clawed myself out of the grave and this is how you treat your 'beloved son, departed from the earth too soon?'"

OR: a Superhero AU featuring Jason Todd coded-Remus.

Pairing: parental dukexity

Warnings: Superhero AU, Death mentions, blood mention, vomit mention, implied self harm, pstd flashback, morally grey characters, angst with ambiguous ending

Thank you for the prompt! This infected my brain all last night and today, hope you enjoy <3

-

Killing isn't that hard of an action, really. There is a million ways to kill someone. Guns, knives, poison or the way Remus liked it--using your bare hands. It wasn't always the most effective, but when your target knocks your knife out of your hands--well, then you gotta go for the jugular.

Remus hums as he picks up his knife, examining it. The blood dripping from its blade landed on his gloves, coating it with a metallic stench. One time as a kid, he received a paper cut and out of curiosity, he stuck his finger inside his mouth to taste his own blood.

It just had a copper tangy taste, not very appetizing. But well, he's never tried someone else's blood, what if it had a different taste? Would a greedy drug lord's blood taste too greasy? Tainted by their lack of remorse and regard for the suffering and lives destroyed in their avaricious pursuit of wealth?

He is almost halfway to enacting on such an impulse, when something shifts behind him. He turns around swiftly, his knife meeting nothing but air. But there is something there, or rather someone.

Remus cackles, his eyes darting around his surroundings. There, in the shadows of the nearby dumpster. He lowers his knife, putting it away for now.

His heart clangs loudly against his ribcage as his ears began to clamor with a loud ringing noise. This moment has always been inevitable since the second he decided to remain in this hellish city.

Remus is many things, but he is not a fool nor is he a coward. He is exhilarated this moment has come at last. Not terrified.

"Hello daddy dearest," He calls out, "it's been a while."

His words are enough to draw out the cloaked figure from out of the shadows.

"Not to be dramatic, but I'm back from the dead. Surprise!" Remus shoots a pair of finger guns, droplets of blood spraying out from his finger tips, "Hope y'all missed me."

The cloaked figure, the target of his finger guns, does not move. Their facemask, elegantly carved to mimic a raven, stares Remus down apathetically.

Remus laughs, clasping his hands behind his neck as he leans against a building that makes up the alleyway of their standoff, "C'mon, old man. I clawed myself out of the grave and this is how you treat your 'beloved son, departed from the earth too soon?'"

He already knows the truth; maybe there was a time this man had regarded him as a beloved son. Back when Remus had been a quiet, subdued child, perfectly manageable and obedient. But that time had long passed.

"I know I probably should've stayed dead but you know me! I'm not great at following rules."

Virgil Storm, or in this case, "The Raven" still doesn't do anything. It is a little unnerving, actually. Remus had expected there to be harsh words thrown his way, or perhaps even be pinned into a chokehold by this point in the interaction.

The Raven doesn't kill. During his first bout at the whole being alive thing, that been a contentious point between the two. Yet, would an abomination like Remus count as a living being?

"And," Remus says abruptly, shifting his weight against the wall, "you can't kill me. You can try, but like. It won't work. I jumped off like a twenty story building--went splat! Like a bug, it was really messy, but I didn't die. Um, you can take a DNA sample to prove it's me--"

"Remus?" The Raven speaks at last, his voice garbled and gravelly from the voice modifier of the mask.

"Yeah, it's me. I mean, we both know Prince Boring doesn't have the guts to pull off a prank like this," Remus smirks, "I'm sure he's happy that I haven't been around to play screamo when I have the aux or fill his backpack with severed Barbie doll heads."

The Raven's cloaked figure starts staggering towards him. Remus moves to stand upright once more, his body tensing. He can take the punch, it'll hurt but it won't leave any bruises. Remus has done enough experimenting to know he can't be physically harmed anymore. At least not permanently in any way that matters.

But rather a punch thrown his way, the Raven's arms seize hold of him. Not around his neck, but around his body, as the Raven leans around him, his cloak wrapping around Remus like a blanket. He is...hugging Remus? What the fuck?

A cold pricking sensation hits Remus, spreading out through every inch of his body. But he does not move to resist the Raven's embrace.

"I'm sorry," His adoptive father murmurs, "I made so many mistakes, I was afraid but I shouldn't have allowed my fear to control me in the way that I did--"

"Aren't you paranoid?" Remus whispers, "What if I'm not actually Remus? What if I'm just a shapeshifter pretending to be him? Or--or something else?"

"But I know you're you. Do you really think I wouldn't have investigated the assumed grave robbery of my son's corpse?" The Raven counters, "I already have a DNA sample I collected from your confrontation with the Dragon Witch analyzed."

Of course, of course Virgil already had a DNA sample. To any sane person, this might've been a horrifying realization. But for Remus, who spent ten years under the man's roof, this was perfectly normal behavior of a man obsessive enough to run around as a nonpowered cloaked vigilante.

"Remus, you have every reason to hate me or even Roman," The voice modifier pitched upwards in an odd high tone, "but would you'd be willing to come home for at least Janus's sake?"

Remus forgets how to breathe for a moment. There are many reasons why he hasn't sought out his family. He isn't sure if he is willing to accept Virgil's apology, much less risk seeing Roman's face again. But Janus is different. He has always understood Remus in the ways the others never did.

Despite Janus being Virgil's "man in the chair" as it were, he has never operated with the same morals. Remus will never forget the time some henchmen broke into their secret hideout while Virgil and Roman had been away on a mission. Janus had not hesitated to put lead directly into their foreheads.

"I'm afraid I don't indulge in the same mercy as your father," Janus had said, tidying up the mess they'd left behind, "It is my duty to preserve the safety of those I've been sworn to protect, even if comes at the lives of others."

The Raven is a vigilante that is shrouded in mystery. There are rumors that circulate the streets that the Raven is inhuman, a being that moves swiftly and strikes without warning. Some even dare to whisper about the unfortunate ends that some of the Raven's victims have met. What they don't know is that last bit is all of Janus's doing.

It's why Remus has never understood Virgil's hypocrisy. He'll turn a blind eye to Janus's actions but Remus, roughing up a thug a little too harshly? Oh no, no, no, that was the most heinous thing Remus could ever do.

(He wonders what his adoptive father thinks of his actions not only tonight, but the past few months. Isn't this everything his father feared and more? Putting aside the whole "not being dead" thing, isn't this enough to make him irredeemable in the Raven's eyes?)

"Janus?" Remus hesitates, "would he be willing to make his tea?"

"For you, I am sure he is willing to prepare a full spread of pastries along with a pot of tea. He has...missed you a lot, Remus."

Remus's stomach rumbles. He hasn't eaten in weeks--not since he realized his body technically doesn't need food to survive. But he does need Janus's pastries. Those pastries are never a want, but a necessity.

"Okay, I'll go." Remus says, craning his neck to meet the Raven's gaze, "but only because I'm hungry."

Somehow, this causes a snort from his adoptive father. The closest thing resembling a laugh that the Raven will ever do. When he is not the Raven, and is simply Virgil--sometimes the man will actually laugh. Even so, that snort is the closest thing to a laugh that Remus has heard from the man in close to a year before his death.

Remus's legs buckle beneath him, almost bringing the Raven down with him. But it's not from the shock of the old man laughing. No, it's more likely his body protesting his week long streak of not sleeping.

It seems even though he doesn't require as much sleep as before, he still requires a certain amount of it. Or at least, that is what makes the most sense in his hazy racing thoughts.

"I've got you," Virgil whispers, his words unfettered by the voice modifier, "you're safe now."

Arms gather underneath him, as a long Kevlar cloak is draped around his wiry figure. An unwanted memory drifts to the surface; a time where his kid self demanded to be carried home and the Raven obliged without complaint. Roman had trailed after them, begging to be carried as well.

Janus had taken one look at their return (Roman clinging to Virgil's back like a baby koala while Remus was cradled in his arms) and simply raised an eyebrow. But it was clear through his stifled breathing that he found the entire thing comical.

Remus doesn't want to fall unconscious. He'll deny it, protest it with a wide grin and a cackle, that death doesn't scare him. But he is terrified of pitch black darkness.

He fears a confined undetermined space that is meant to seal him away deep in the ground. He fears wood splinters underneath his fingernails as he chokes on dirt as he continues to dig upwards, driven by an urge to survive--to break out of the ground to blessed, fresh air. He fears staring at a gravestone and just laughing until he started vomiting clods of dirt.

What if Virgil is lying about Janus? What if he decides to bury Remus again, this time in a coffin made out of titanium or reinforced concrete--dooming him to a living death?

"No," He mumbles, attempting to grasp tightly to Virgil's cloak, "I don't--"

But his eyes flutter shut against his volition, and he can only hope that they truly did miss him enough; that the words carved on his gravestone were genuine and sincere.

Remus Seagrove

20XX-20XXX

Beloved Son, Brother, Friend

Dearly Missed and Departed from the Earth too Soon

[stillebesat]

Out Camping Part 1

Sanders Sides: Roman, Virgil Blurb: A Father and Son Camping Trip Fic Type: Camping AU Overall Fic Warnings: None. Taglist in reblog.

His mother had told Roman time and time again growing up that she hoped his kids would be just as rambunctious and energetic as he had been. Everyone who knew him had accepted that as a matter of karma. After all, Roman had practically lived for the spotlight since the very day of his birth and he had gone to great lengths to be the center of attention. Why wouldn’t his child be the exact same?

His mom had been wrong. Mostly. 

Roman glanced over to the passenger seat, the corners of his lips turning up in a smile as his usually reclusive eight-year-old son, Virgil, straightened. Roman’s phone dropped unnoticed to his lap as he twisted to fully see outside, his fingers curling against the window as they finally left the last signs of civilization and the more stubborn paparazzi behind. 

“Ready for our next grand adventure?” Roman asked, quietly. 

Virgil glanced over his shoulder, flashing him a quick smile. “Yes.” Came the fervent response. 

He chuckled, returning his attention to the open road before them. “Thought so.” 

It never failed to surprise people to find out that Virgil was his son. To the untrained eye, they were complete opposites. Where Roman was loud. Virgil was quiet. Where Roman thrived in front of an audience. Virgil shrunk away, preferring quiet evenings inside instead of days spent at concerts or amusement parks. 

Total opposites. At least around people. Roman glanced again to his quiet son, watching his eyes come alight with excitement, his hidden energy bubbling up to the surface with every passing moment until Virgil was practically bouncing up and down in his seat, quietly humming to the music playing in the background as the desert wilderness surrounded them. 

“Do you think we’ll see a coyote this time, Dad?” He suddenly blurted out. “Or a rattlesnake? I hope it’s a coyote. They’re cool!” The words tumbled from his lips as he whirled to his father, eyes wide. “Or maybe a mountain lion! A big horned sheep would be different too. Callie from school says you rarely see those, but I bet we can find one. No. Six! We’ll find the entire herd!”  

And there was the Roman within his son. Talking a mile a minute and using more words than most people heard from him in a year. Roman flashed a smile, reaching out with one hand to ruffle his hair. “With your animal magnetism, my little Prince, I don’t doubt we’ll be able to find those sheep.” Or whatever else he set his young mind to seeing this trip.  

Virgil grinned, turning eagerly back to the window. “How much longer?” He asked, fidgeting in place. “We’re nearly there, right?” 

“Uh…” Roman flicked his attention to the GPS on the console. “Does three hours count as nearly there?” 

Virgil groaned, flopping back against the seat in the exact same melodramatic pose Roman had used on his parents when he was younger…well still used, actually, on the stage. “That’s fiveever away, Dad!” He complained, pulling at his hoodie strings. “Drive faster.”

“And get another ticket? No.” 

“Oh, come on!” 

“No.” 

“Five over?” 

Roman exhaled. “I’m already doing eight, you speed demon. Be content with that.” 

Virgil pouted, looking up at his dad with wide green eyes. The exact same shade as his own. “Ten over?”

What had happened to five? Roman let out a laugh, giving in, his foot pressing a bit harder on the gas. And people thought his son was quiet and withdrawn. Ha.  “Alright, Virge. Ten over. No faster though, alright?” 

Virgil grinned with undisclosed glee, leaning over to see the speedometer inching upwards. “Okay.” 

Roman silently sighed. It was going to be a nightmare when his son grew old enough to get his driver’s license. He already knew that from taking Virgil to the tracks to race his dirt bike. The kid could make that hunk of metal go much faster than an eight-year-old had any right to make it go and Roman was sure Remus had jimmy-rigged the thing to increase the speed before gifting the bike to his favorite nephew. 

He relaxed his grip on the steering wheel as his son turned back to the window, watching the mile marker signs flash by. That was a worry for a different day. One thing at a time. For now he’d just worry about Virgil attempting to bring home the desert lizards or baby rabbits he’d inevitably find while they were out in the middle of nowhere.  To Be Continued. Part 2

[engie-ivy]

Remus is the uptight, swotty Prefect who's always getting the popular and beloved troublemakers Black and Potter in detention. Remus doesn't care what people say of him, and he absolutely doesn't care about Black's blinding smile.

A Book By Its Cover

Remus pulls his jumper closer around himself against the draught in the large, empty halls. The corridor is dimly lit and he hears nothing but the sound of his own footsteps. Everything is quiet. Too quite.

A loud clang suddenly sounds from behind one of the tapestries. Remus almost smiles to himself. Bingo. In a swift motion, he pulls away the tapestry.

Startled, Black whirls around. He’s surrounded by what appear to be paint cans and rope. His shock only last a moment, though.

“Lupin!” He exclaims, a beaming smile appearing on his face. “What a pleasant surprise!”

Remus crosses his arms over his chest. He makes an effort to keep a firm expression on his face, to show he’s not affected by Black’s notorious, blinding smile, like everyone else is. “Only pleasant if you like detention. And as for a surprise, I am a Prefect. I am supposed to be here making my rounds. So what are you doing here?”

“Preparing a prank,” Black says simply.

Remus doesn’t know whether he should be insulted Black doesn’t seem to take his authority very seriously, or glad that he doesn’t insult his intelligence by coming up with an excuse.

“Right,” Remus says, before taking out his notebook and pen. “Out of bed after curfew and engaging in illegal activity,” he scribbles down. “And where’s Potter?”

“Aw, am I not enough for you, Lupin?” Black pouts.

“I figured you could use some company in detention,” Remus replies smoothly.

Black clicks his tongue. “So thoughtful.”

“If you’re here setting up some prank, then it’s a given Potter is setting up that prank somewhere else in the school as well. So, where is he?”

Black shakes his head. “For you’re own good, Lupin, you don’t wanna put James in detention right now. People won’t be too pleased with you if the school’s football star misses the upcoming match against Slytherin thanks to you.”

“So thoughtful,” Remus repeats Black’s words, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “But please, don’t concern yourself over me. I’ve never cared what others think of me, and I don’t plan on starting now. And you basically just admitted Potter is currently doing something that would warrant me giving him detention, so you might as well tell me where he is.”

Black sighs. “This is why people call you uptight.”

Remus’ expression hardens. “If people care so much, they should be mad at Potter for risking the football match in the first place by playing some stupid prank.”

Black gasps dramatically and clutches his chest. “Stupid? Our pranks are not stupid! They’re works of art! Jumping out of a cake on miss McGonagall’s birthday? Hilarious! Making a zip line to go from one floor to the other? Brilliant! Filling the gym with stray cats, many of whom were eventually adopted? Genius! People love our pranks. They make people laugh and bring some excitement in their lives. Much needed excitement, because let’s face it, school is boring. Sitting there, listening to old people tell you things you already know.”

“For you maybe,” Remus mutters.

Black scoffs. “Don’t pretend you’re not one of the smartest people in our class, Lupin.”

Remus just glares harder at Black, to show that no, he doesn’t care that Sirius Black, whom people are always falling over themselves for to get even a bit of his attention, has apparently noticed Remus’ academic achievements. No, he doesn’t care at all.

“Even the teachers love our pranks,” Black continues. “They put some life into this place!”

“We’ll see what miss McGonagall has to say about it when I report you tomorrow,” Remus says calmly. “I’ll go finish my rounds, and when I get back, you better have cleaned up this mess.”

As he turns around to leave, Black suddenly grabs his wrist. “Join us!”

“Wha...” Remus turns back, and his traitorous stomach flutters at how close Black is suddenly standing.

“Join us for one prank,” Black says.

Remus blinks at him. “Why in earth would I do that?”

“Because it’s fun! And honestly, Lupin, to me you always look like you can use a bit of fun.”

That catches Remus off guard. It’s true. Between struggling to get top marks, doing everything he can for extra credit, making sure he has a spotless record, excelling at his Prefect duties, and worrying about his sick mother, lately he often feels like just throwing his hands in the air and say ‘screw it all!’, and just do something crazy, something dumb or irresponsible. But he definitely never wanted for Black to notice that.

“Come on, Lupin,” Black says, as Remus stays silent. “Be part of the fun for once, instead of putting a damper on it.”

“Your childish pranks aren’t my idea of fun,” Remus bites back, feeling himself getting defensive.

Black just grins. “You won’t know that unless you join us for just one prank!”

“Why would you even want me to join you?” Many people would be lining up to be a part of one of Black and Potter’s infamous pranks. It’s beyond Remus why Black would ask that one stuffy guy who puts them in detention almost every week.

“Because I like you,” Black shrugs. “I like how hard you work for everything and how you don’t care what anyone thinks of you. And I think you secretly have a talent for it,” he adds with a wink, that absolutely does not make Remus’ knees go weak. “I bet you have a wicked side to you underneath all that swotty stuff.”

“But I’m a Prefect!” Remus argues. “I’m supposed to discipline rule-breakers, not break them myself!”

Black rolls his eyes. “You shouldn’t take that job so serious.”

This rubs Remus the wrong way. “Not everyone can afford to treat everything in life as a joke,” he says coolly.

Black folds his arms over his chest and stares. “A fancy title and a badge and suddenly you’re better than us?”

“It’s nothing like that!”

Black huffs. “Then why is that bogus job so important to you?”

“Because some of us can’t afford to have even one note on their record if they ever want to get anywhere in life!” Remus snaps. “Because some of us need perfect scores and every bit of extra credit they can get if they want universities not to immediately bin their applications! Because some of us don’t have a last name they can flaunt, a daddy who can make a phone call, a mommy who can throw some money around, and suddenly you’re top of the list! Because some of us can’t just look at their rich parents and rely on them to always give them everything they want!”

The change in Black is instant. He takes a step back, and instead of his usual easy smile and bright eyes sparkling with mischief, his face becomes an ice-cold mask. “Fuck you, Lupin,” he hisses. “You don’t know a thing about me.”

He pushes past Remus as he storms off, leaving him behind feeling very confused. Maybe he shouldn’t have said that. Yes, the system is unfair and Black is privileged, but Remus supposes that isn’t really Black’s fault. He knows Black isn’t actually a bad person. His heart is in the right place, and he’s usually kind, only ever mean to people who, quite frankly, deserve it.

Remus just wishes Black would stop with those bloody pranks.

Remus just wishes Black would continue with those bloody pranks.

Or do anything really that makes him seem more like his old self. Remus never thought he’d miss that loud, barking laugh, that infuriating smirk, those lame puns so much.

Ever since everyone returned from Christmas break, Black has completely withdrawn. He hardly talks to anyone, he just sits silently, his eyes staring off in the distance and his expression blank. Potter is always by his side, softly talking to him or just throwing him worried glances.

Since then, it has been the talk of the school, and even in the papers and on the news: Sirius Black has been removed from his parents’ custody. It was a messy affair, the police has even been involved. Black’s father was arrested on grounds of child abuse. Apparently, Orion Black, the noble and well-respected patriarch of the prestigious Black family, has a habit of beating his son. It must’ve been going on for a while, but over the break it escalated. People just can’t get over how Sirius Black’s life wasn’t as perfect as it always seemed to be.

Remus feels bad for Black, and especially feels like an idiot, having said the things he said. He knows he owes Black an apology. It has been a couple of weeks since the break ended, and the apology is beginning to be long overdue. Though he also knows that Black has probably not been waiting for an apology from the uptight twat that always gets him detention.

Maybe it’s more to ease his own consciousness that he hesitantly approaches the table where Black is sitting. Potter glares at him the moment he sees him, and half gets out of his seat, probably to tell him to piss off, and rightfully so. However, after a quick glance at Black’s face, who’s looking up at Remus, he sits back down, as if he sees something on his friend’s face that makes him chance his mind.

“Bla- Sirius,” Remus says, realising a tad late that Sirius might nor want to be reminded of his family name right now. “I’m sorry,” he blurts out. “I said some shitty things to you, and I shouldn’t have. You were right, I didn’t know anything about you.”

“It’s okay,” Sirius says softly. “You had good reason to be angry, it’s a rather fucked up system. And you didn’t know. Didn’t know that I would’ve gladly given up all that privilege to just have parents who... who love me...”

Sirius’ voice falters and he trails off. Potter is staring at him wide-eyed, and also Remus is surprised. He knows Sirius hasn’t talked about it to anyone, and he feels almost guilty he’s saying it to him of all people. He’s also surprised at the overwhelming urge he has to pull Sirius into a hug, hold him and tell him they never deserved him anyway. He has to leave before he does anything stupid.

“I should go,” Remus says quickly. “If there’s ever anything I can do...”

As he turns around to leave, Black suddenly grabs his wrist. “Join us!”

Remus turns back to look at him.

“Join us for one prank.”

“Why would you want me to join you?” Remus asks, much like the first time.

“Because I like you,” Sirius replies, much like the first time, only where he had then sounded nonchalant and slightly amused, he now sounds pleading and vulnerable.

“Yeah,” Remus says hoarsely, because his Prefect duties suddenly don’t seem so important compared to helping Sirius come back to his old self. “Yeah, I’ll join you for one prank.”

And then the most amazing thing happens: for the first time in weeks, Sirius Black smiles. It’s only a small smile, but the room already seems a bit brighter. In a moment of vivid clarity, Remus knows that there’s nothing he wouldn’t do to make that boy smile.

[nowplayingblog]

Turn and Face the Strange

Read on AO3

Summary:

November 16, 1981

The day Sirius and Remus realize just how much one day can change everything.

-

Part 1 in the Two Things I Love series: An exploration of how things change when Remus and Sirius raise Harry, how our pasts can inform our present, and a new take on Harry Potter Cannon.

November 16, 1981

Remus wasn’t used to having so many things. The flat he and Sirius had shared before all of this happened was very small, and they had never gotten around to filling it with furniture and belongings. Before that, money had been tight when he was growing up in the welsh countryside, and he had learned to make the most out of very little. But now there were boxes piled high outside of their new home, containing everything one Sirius Black could think to buy, and Remus almost felt like it wasn’t enough. They were responsible for raising a child, money was not an issue, and their new house - Newthaven, Dumbledore had called it - would be where they lived for the rest of their lives. They needed a lot of things now.

Newthaven was an old cottage tucked into the outskirts of Ottery St. Catchpole, well withdrawn from both the wizarding and muggle worlds. They were close enough to the muggle town that they could easily walk to the shops when they needed, but far enough that they didn’t need to worry about nosy neighbors. As for their fellow wizards, Ottery St. Catchpole had no wizarding households, save for one. It wasn’t likely they would be spotted while they were out and about, which was important, because Remus and Sirius were now the guardians of perhaps the most famous wizard of their age.

The house itself was on the small side. The exterior walls were made of cobblestone covered in cracked yellow stucco and overgrown ivy. The roof was thatched, and some of the window panes were broken- Remus made a mental note of that particular issue, as winter was right around the corner, and they would need to be fixed soon. The house hadn’t served its purpose as a home for quite some time, and was in need of many repairs, but for now, what they really needed to focus on was moving in. Boxes of furniture, most newly purchased, though some were leftover from their flat, were stacked outside the house. Remus had been tasked with taking the boxes inside, and placing them in their designated rooms, while Sirius entertained little Harry in the barren living room. 

“Wingardium Leviosa.” Remus lifted one more box into the air to join the three others that would float behind him when he went into the house. These would be placed in the dining area, as well as the five smaller, more delicate boxes, which he had cast a feather-light charm on and carried on his own.

He took a deep, calming breath before he went inside. Harry had not been having a good day. He had not been having a good couple of weeks, which was understandable, but today he had been crying ever since they arrived at Newthaven and the constant screams and shouts of ‘No!’ were beginning to wear on Remus’s nerves.

The living room was right inside the front door. It was empty, save for a few of the boxes Remus had brought in earlier, his boyfriend, and his best friends’ child. Sirius was sitting on the floor with Harry. He was propped up against the wall, his legs crossed, with Harry sitting on his lap. The boy was crying his little heart out, his face scrunched up with emotion and bright red as he wailed and wailed. Sirius was trying in vain to distract him with little bubbles coming out of the end of his wand, but Harry was not to be consoled. 

“Could you fill his sippy cup with water?” Sirius asked Remus as he walked past. “I’m afraid he’s going to get dehydrated.”

Remus gave an affirmative hum, and Sirius held out the cup for him to take.

“No!” screeched Harry, reaching to hit the cup out of Sirius’s hand, Remus grabbed it just in time.

Newthaven, being as small as it was, had a simple layout. The living room was the largest room in the house, with dark hardwood floors and walls adorned with floral patterns, similar to the one Remus remembered in his parents' bedroom growing up. An archway led into the kitchen, which was just big enough to also function as the dining area. It had tile floors, wooden cabinets with linoleum countertops, and outdated appliances which Remus had been shocked to discover still worked just fine. There was a narrow staircase that led up to Harry’s nursery in the attic from the kitchen. The nursery was a decent size for a child’s bedroom, with slanted ceilings and big windows with a bird’s eye view of the property. Behind the stairs was Remus and Sirius’s bedroom, just large enough to hold their bed, two nightstands, and an armoire. It was cozy and it didn’t take long for Remus to memorize the layout.

He dropped off the boxes in the dining area and went to the sink, but when he turned the knob, no water came out of the faucet. He heaved a sigh of frustration. Remus could hear Harry crying from here. He tried a few more times to no avail.

“The sink is broken,” Remus said, as he reentered the living room.

Sirius took a deep breath, pinching his nose. “Just use Aguamenti.” 

“We’ll have to fix it eventually,” Remus insisted, pointing his wand at the sippy cup. “Aguamenti.”

The cup filled with water and he handed it back to Sirius.

“I know,” Sirius said, “But we have to prioritize. Here Harry, have a drink.”

Remus made his way back outside. He allowed himself to admire the scenery for a moment, savoring the relative quiet. Autumn had painted the trees brilliant reds and oranges. Twisted dead bushes lined the path that led up towards the house. Remus thought the beautiful weather was a cruel irony, but he was eager to see what it all would look like in the spring, when everything would be alive and overgrown.

He took a few deep breaths before levitating and charming a few more boxes. It was all beginning to overwhelm him. It had only been a few weeks since their lives had been changed completely. Remus had no idea, and very little past experience in calming Harry down from a temper tantrum. When Remus came back inside it was to find Harry’s sippy cup had been thrown across the room. Sirius had his eyes closed as he took a deep breath through his nose, his head tilted toward the ceiling. Harry was laying on the floor, screaming and kicking his feet.

Upon seeing Remus enter the room, Harry got up and toddled over to him sobbing. He reached his hands up toward Remus, his tiny fists making grabbing motions. The pale lightning scar on his forehead stood out against the angry red of his face. Remus remembered when he had first seen Harry with the large, jagged cut on his little face, in his disheveled nursery.

He remembered the two bodies on the floor he had seen that same night.

Remus shook his head, dispelling the unwanted thoughts and set down the boxes. He hoisted Harry up into his arms.

Remus bounced him soothingly as Harry cried into Remus’s jumper. Remus rested his cheek against the boy’s soft black curls. It wasn’t Harry Remus was frustrated with, not at all. He loved Harry more than he had ever thought possible, and it was hard seeing him so upset and not knowing what could possibly help.

Sirius looked worn out. As frustrated as Remus was, Sirius had been with Harry this whole time, trying and failing to get him to stop crying. Remus thought he must be at his wits end.

“He’s probably tired,” Remus said.

“I don’t doubt it,” Sirius ran a hand over his face, meeting Remus’s eyes. “He hasn’t slept much since…”

He didn’t finish his sentence. Remus appreciated it.

“Why don’t you go up to his nursery and get his cot set up?” Remus suggested, wanting to give Sirius some reprieve. “That way once we get him to sleep we can just lay him down and not have to worry about it. I’ll handle him for now.”

“That sounds good,” Sirius said, giving Remus a grateful smile. “Where’s the cot?”

“Should be up in the nursery in one of the boxes.”

Sirius went upstairs, and Remus turned his attention to the boy in his arms. He made soft shushing sounds, and bounced him as he walked around. “Oh Harry,” he said, “What’s the matter?”

Harry gave no response, other than to cry even more.

“Why are you crying?” Remus cooed. He wasn’t expecting answers, but he knew that just talking to Harry could help. “Are you tired sweetheart?”

“Which box?” Sirius called down.

“The big one,” Remus called up. “It should have a picture of it on the side, it’s the same box it came in.”

Sirius didn’t say anything after that, which Remus hoped meant that he had found it and no longer needed Remus’s help.

Harry’s cries had softened a little, and he sat up slightly in Remus’s arms. Tears still trailed down his cheeks. They weren’t quite out of the woods. Remus kept walking around, bouncing him lightly.

He tried to think of what James and Lily did whenever he had seen them comforting Harry when he was distraught like this. Though, he couldn’t recall ever seeing Harry this upset when his parents were still… here. He reached down and picked up Harry’s sippy cup from where the boy had thrown it earlier.

“Do you want to drink some water now?” Remus asked gently, offering him the drink. Harry accepted it, to Remus’s delight, momentarily stopping the upset noises he was making when he took a sip, though he was still crying.

He remembered one time when he visited Lily and she was putting Harry down for a nap. He was upset, unhappy with being awake, but not wanting to go to sleep either. She had tucked Harry into her arms, holding him as though he was still a newborn and rocked him back and forth, side to side, patting his back firmly until he quieted.

“This always works,” She’d said to him. “You just gotta manhandle him to sleep.”

“You would think that would have the opposite effect,” Remus had laughed.

“I think it makes him feel more secure. It’s why swaddling works with newborns.”

Remus figured it was worth a shot.

Harry had given up on his sippy cup. Remus hoped Harry’s relative calm meant that he could get him to settle down and go to sleep quickly and easily.

He laid Harry back in his arms, holding him tightly, hoping it made him feel more secure, and tucked his arms and legs in around him. But before he could even begin to rock him, Harry screamed louder than Remus had heard all day. Remus tried bouncing him, patting his back, walking around, but Harry screeched in rage, and his cries grew even louder. 

“No!” Harry cried.

Remus sighed and sat Harry back up in his arms - clearly Lily’s trick wasn’t going to work. 

He was back to square one. The boy’s constant cries were beginning to grate on his nerves. Remus was frustrated at his lack of ability to be what Harry needed. He had no way of knowing what was making Harry so upset, and no way of knowing what would make things better.

Sirius must have sensed his dilemma, no doubt he could still hear Harry crying from up there. “Maybe try holding him with his back against your chest,” He called down. “James used to do that and it always got him to quiet down. I think he likes to see everything.”

Remus remembered something similar, how James would hold him facing outward when Harry was upset, and it turned out all he really wanted all along was to be able to see what was around him.

“Likes to be in command - always has to have the high ground,” James had said. “Can’t wait until he’s old enough to play Quidditch, he’ll be a little Seeker, I just know it.”

Desperate for anything to work, he turned Harry so he was facing outward. Unfortunately, this seemed to upset Harry even more. He threw himself backward against Remus’s chest, straightening his legs. It made it nearly impossible for Remus to keep a hold of him. He set Harry back on the ground, where the boy laid down and continued to cry in earnest.

“No!”

Remus sank down to the floor next to him. A lump formed in his throat. He had never seen Harry like this, ever. Not even on the night Remus found him in his cot in his nursery just steps away from where his mother lay sprawled out on the ground. He didn’t know what could be causing him to be this upset - whether it was because Harry was approaching the supposed ‘terrible twos’, or if he was just so miserable staying with Remus and Sirius he couldn’t handle it. 

He wished James and Lily were here.

They weren’t here. Remus remembered the way Sirius had cried over the dead body of his best friend, both draped over the stairs Remus climbed to find Lily’s corpse and the body of the man who killed them.

Merlin, Remus wasn’t equipped for this. He couldn’t be enough for Harry. 

And that was it, wasn’t it, Remus realised as his breaths came faster and tears pricked behind his eyes. Harry wanted his parents. Every time they tried something Lily or James would have done, Harry became more upset, it reminded him of what he wanted but couldn’t have. 

Remus and Sirius could never be James and Lily. Harry knew this.

Remus hid his face in his hands as Harry continued to scream and cry in front of him, and he choked on a sob.

Remus felt a hand on his back, rubbing in soothing circles. Sirius was sitting next to him, having finished setting up the cot upstairs. Remus leaned into him, and Sirius placed a kiss on top of his head. They let Harry cry it out for a few moments, and eventually the boy got up and toddled up to them, still sobbing. He climbed onto Sirius’s lap, and pressed his face into his godfather’s shirt.

Remus succumbed to emotion. It was upsetting, and draining, listening to Harry scream for upwards of an hour at this point, and Remus was just now coming to terms with everything. 

James and Lily were dead. 

They were dead, and Remus and Sirius had to look after their child. They were dead, and they had to buy a house that was isolated because their love for this child had unintentionally ended a war, and that child would never have a normal life. They were dead, and Remus would never get to see them again, or talk to them, or ask them for advice. They were dead, and Remus would never truly know what they would have done to raise their son, because they would never see him grow up.

They were dead. 

Remus and Sirius were on their own. 

Remus didn’t realize how much he had been in denial until it all came crashing down. He was overwhelmed with grief. He sobbed into Sirius’s shoulder, Harry continued to cry in Sirius’s lap, and Remus felt Sirius shake with cries of his own. 

He didn’t know how long it was until he no longer heard Harry crying, and Remus could think clearly again. He looked over to Sirius, who was rubbing a soothing hand over Harry’s back. It had been a long hard day for all of them.

Remus reached over and placed a gentle hand on the back of Harry’s head, joining Sirius in comforting him. Harry gave a few tired sniffles, more calm than he had been all day. Remus was determined not to trip at the finish line.

They sat there in relative calm for several minutes, before Remus remembered a song that his mother used to sing for him when he was younger. It was in Welsh, his mother’s first language. She would sing it to him whenever she put him to sleep, or whenever he was upset.

“Huna, blentyn, ar fy mynwes,” Remus sang softly. Sirius gave him a curious look, but Remus ignored him, his eyes locked on Harry. “Clyd a chynnes ydyw hon; ... sy'n dynn amdanat,”

The boy’s gaze settled on Remus’s face. His cheeks were still wet, but Harry’s attention was all Remus’s now.

“Huna'n dawel heno, huna,” Remus continued, his voice a little fried from crying, “Huna'n fwyn, y tlws ei lun; Pam yr wyt yn awr yn gwenu.”

Remus watched as Harry’s eyelids were beginning to slide closed, half-lidded. The boy didn’t seem to be focusing on anything anymore. Remus could tell he was beginning to get drowsy. His fingers rubbed circles into Harry’s dark curls around his temples. 

“Paid ag ofni, dim ond deilen, Gura, gura ar y ddôr; Paid ag ofni, ton fach unig…” By the time Remus had finished the song, Harry was softly snoring, his head resting on Sirius’s chest.

Remus and Sirius continued to sit there long after Harry had fallen asleep. 

“Should we move him?” Sirius whispered.

Remus shook his head slowly. “No… not yet.”

So they savored the moment, sitting in their new home, which was finally silent. The three of them sat there, curled up on the floor, Harry asleep in Sirius’s lap, Remus curled around his lover, his head resting on his shoulder. He looked up at Sirius and felt an intense warmth in his heart. Sitting there together was the closest Remus had felt in the past few weeks to the three of them being a family.

After all the emotions he had just felt all at once, Remus felt like this was a reassurance from the universe. A reminder to look at what he still had and hold it close. To treasure it. To protect it.

Remus thought about what Dumbledore had said after they had gotten Harry out of Godric’s Hollow. Their old professor had lectured them about doing what was right for Harry, explaining the blood magic that would protect him if he were to go and live with the Dursleys. How Death Eaters would continue to try and hunt them down, how there was a chance Voldemort himself might even come back.

He had felt selfish at the time, Dumbledore making him feel uncertain in his ability to protect Harry, but now, as they sat there, he had never felt more certain of the boy’s place in their life. Harry would grow up loved, and safe, and Remus would fight to make sure of that.

He didn’t know how long they sat there before Sirius spoke again.

“As much as I would love to stay like this forever,” He whispered. “We should put him in his cot.”

Remus sighed, but reluctantly agreed. “Yes. We’ve got more work to do, we should take advantage of him being asleep.”

“He’ll be more comfortable in his cot anyway,” Sirius stood up, carefully clutching Harry to his chest, and slowly made his way up the stairs to the nursery.

Remus stayed on the floor for a few moments longer, leaning against the wall, his eyes closed, breathing a breath of relief.

Sirius came back down pretty soon after that. He sat down with Remus and pulled him into his arms. He kissed Remus’s cheek, and Remus tilted Sirius’s face so that their lips met. When Remus pulled away he sighed, pressing his forehead against his lover’s.

“We did it,” Remus breathed, relieved.

“Yeah,” Sirius huffed a laugh. “With a lot of trial and error.”

“I was beginning to think he would never stop crying,” he confessed.

Sirius’ let out a breathy laugh. “So was I. But we did it - you did it. Seriously Re, you were amazing.”

Remus hummed contentedly, kissing Sirius again. He pulled away and met Sirius’s eyes. “We can’t keep trying to be James and Lily,” he said, “It’s just upsetting him. We’re not them, and he knows that.”

Sirius sighed. “He’s finally starting to realize they’re not coming back.”

Remus nodded. “We can’t keep trying to be James and Lily for the rest of our lives. We need to figure out what works for us.”

“I know,” said Sirius, “I just… I don’t want Harry to forget them. I want to honor what they would have done, have Harry grow up the way they would have wanted to.”

“I know, love.” Remus held Sirius’s face in his hands. “And we can still do that. We can make sure Harry learns about the muggle world, like Lily wanted, and have Harry get his first broom when he turns five, like James always told us he would.”

Sirius laughed, and it sounded wet, his smile wobbly and his gaze distant.

“We just have to do things our own way too.” Remus finished.

“I don’t know if I’m cut out for this,” Sirius admitted.

“Me neither.”

“But,” Sirius took a deep breath, “We’ll figure it out.”

They stayed there for a while longer, before Remus nudged Sirius’s shoulder and they both stood to get back to work. There was still an entire house to be set up.

“You should take a look at the sink,” Remus said on his way out the door.

“Sure,” said Sirius, “I’ll head outside in a minute.”

Remus went outside and picked up a few more boxes. He took in the beautiful Autumn weather. Where before it felt like a cruel irony, Remus couldn’t help but feel a little uplifted. Everything was going to be okay. It may not feel like it right now, but the storm would pass, and they would come out on top.

When Remus came back inside the water was running from the sink faucet. It was a dark iron brown color, but it was getting clearer.

“It wasn’t broken,” said Sirius, who met him as they crossed paths in the doorway. “Just clogged, and a little dirty, but I’m just gonna let it go for a little while until it runs clean.”

“So I was just too impatient before?” Remus joked.

“I think in the moment it just looked like it was worse than it actually was.” said Sirius.

Sirius gave him a peck on the lips and then went outside as Remus brought his boxes to their bedroom.

Just a little more patience, Remus thought. How fitting. Things may feel bad now, but someday they’re going to get better.

[tatwaffel]

“Remus didn't love Tonks. Tonks forced him into a relationship. He was too old for her!”

Bullshit.

First things first, why do some people think Remus didn't love Tonks? Well, Remus is more of a background character. He doesn't talk about his feelings a lot and lives very withdrawn because of his lycanthropy. But then there's this huge problem of Remus Lupin having no self confidence.

Why's that a problem? Well...

We had this wonderful conversation between the trio and Remus where he finally opened up a bit. He said marrying Tonks was a mistake.

But here we have to pay attention. Mind you, Remus has no self confidence. He thinks himself to be a monster. 'He had never fallen in love before'. He's scared and overwhelmed.

By saying he shouldn't have married Tonks he does not say in the slightest that he doesn't love her. He thinks he's ruined her life, spoiled his unborn son's life, made them outcasts.

I ask you, if you don't care about your wife and your unborn child, if you don't love them, would you care like that?

Remus clearly is full of regret but only for 'ruining' Tonks's life. Remus hates himself for that. And, being an outcast himself for years, he runs away. He panics. He's babbling here, clearly distraught. It seems like he left Tonks and apparated straight here.

So this is the scene that makes Remadora haters doubt. But, with all due of respect, if you really think that in this scene Remus finally admitted that he doesn't love Tonks, then you don't understand Remus's character at all.

Now we have that negative thing sorted, here some more positive evidence why Remus loved Tonks.

I'd like to refer to the article on Pottermore here, saying Remus was 'first amused, then impressed, then seriously smitten' by Tonks. 'He had never fallen in love before'.

And this fits so well!

You have this clumsy, bubbly, jolly auror lass with the pink hair and large boots. She's constantly tripping, always up for mischief, bubbling with life. For Remus, Tonks is the definition of happiness. Happiness - a thing he's missed for many many years. He learns to smile again, watching her trip over the troll leg but still laughing, watching her morph her hair in a all colours of the rainbow or walking in with a beak. Despite there being a war, he can finally smile again. He found happiness in her.

But then, as they naturally go on missions (like it's said on Pottermore), he realizes that Tonks is capable. She's an auror trained by Alastor Moody after all. She could battle three death eaters at once and probably still win without being scarred. But he's not only impressed by that. He's impressed that she doesn't mind him being a werewolf. He's impressed that she still wants to spend time with him. She's so different from most of the wizard community. She's kind of a freak, really, just like him.

But then, feelings come. He finds himself not only smitten, but seriously smitten. Tonks is all he secretly yearns for. Someone who takes him the way he is, someone who makes him smile even in this dark times. He has fallen for the clumsy auror with the vivid hair.

When she told him she loved him 'after a year of warm friendship', his first reaction was a kind of happiness he's never felt before! He did not immediately start rejecting her, as said on Pottermore, that came later. His first reaction was happiness that the woman he loved loved him back.

Then there's the fact that he clearly enjoyed her company. Pottermore states that, despite his belief that he had to reject her, he still was happy every time he got paired on an overnight mission with her. Furthermore, they are together all the time! Usually, whenever Remus is mentioned in OOTP, Tonks is around. Whether as an old lady escorting the kids back to Hogwarts, or as herself at the breakfast table at headquarters. Coincidence? Well, you never saw Hestia or Emmeline that much in Remus's company, did you?

Oh, and there's this cute little fact of Remus being jealous. Before telling him she's fallen for him sometime in summer 1996, Tonks mentions that 'Sirius is still handsome, isn't he? Even after Azkaban.' And Remus's reaction is jealousy. He tells her that he supposes she's fallen for Sirius, then. Would he react like that if he wasn't in love with Tonks? Certainly not.

A chapter Remadora haters must've overlooked when reading the books was the one in DH when Remus came to Shell Cottage and proudly told everyone about their son. He's beaming and bubbling, which is nothing like the withdrawn and melancholic Remus we know. He's incredibly happy. He also speaks of 'Dora' pretty much, in a very affectionate way.

But second thing, Tonks pushed Remus into a relationship. What?

This is something most Remadora haters say. But, if they really knew Remus's character, they'd realize it's utter bullshit.

Yes, Remus is a lonely and sad man a lot of the time. He yearns to have someone who loves him, be near this someone. He doesn't like to be lonely.

However, he went away with the werewolf pack for about a year. Again, Remus Lupin went to life with the werewolf pack of Fenrir Greyback, the one who ruined his life, for an entire bloody year. An attempt to run away from his feelings, make Tonks realize she wouldn't miss him and just fall for another man - but most importantly here: Remus did manage to keep his distance tho the woman who he loved was waiting at a safer place than somewhere in a cave or forest filled with wolves.

Remus does posses a great will power. If he really didn't want to engulf himself in a relationship, a marriage with Tonks, he simply wouldn't!

Remus wouldn't marry a woman he didn't love just because she loved him and he wanted to do her a favor.

Just recently, I read someone saying that Tonks isn't a strong woman. She's clingy for chasing after Remus.

Tonks didn't chase after Remus. If she had, she would've abandoned her auror duties and left for any forest to get Remus back from the pack. But she stayed at Hogwarts doing her duty of protecting the castle.

We all know she suffered from depression after Remus started rejecting her. Her hair is mousy brown, she looks ill and sad. No wonder. In her eyes, the love of her life preferred death over being with her. How is that not heartbreaking? Besides, her cousin second degree and good friend, Sirius, passed away recently. She's pretty much alone now. And there's a war! She's lost Sirius to the veil, has lost or might lose Remus to the wolves, might lose her parents to the death eaters. This is all much to cope with.

But I ask you: doesn't it make Tonks strong that she kept going? She wasn't selfish and chased after Remus, she guarded Hogwarts because that's where the Order needed her. Plus, she showed her emotions. She didn't try to act like all was well. And that is true strength.

Tonks didn't cling to Remus, pushing him to be with her because she wanted to. Tonks could've had any man, actually. But she wanted Remus.

An important detail we have to see here is that Tonks's attitude described as 'clingy' isn't rooted in selfishness.

This is fiction, but Remus was a broken man. And Tonks tried to fix him. Though Remus said and thought the contrary, Tonks knew that he was indeed worthy of love. Tonks is not stupid - she realized that Remus liked her back. So why should she not try to make him realize he could and should be happy?

There's another thing Remadora haters bring up, which is saying that Tonks's patronus didn't change of pure love, but obsession. Tonks's patronus is a wolf like Remus's because she's obsessed with him. This is compared to Snape's relation to Lily, which is also (labeled as) obsession. Doe and doe, wolf and wolf.

Now what if I tell you that doe and doe doesn't work in nature? Wolf and wolf does. Remus being a male ought to have a male wolf patronus, Tonks a female one. Like it was for James and Lily aka stag and doe.

Tonks's patronus changed because she truly loved Remus. As already stated before, she wasn't obsessed with him.

Tonks didn't go into the battle because she was obsessed with Remus either. She joined the Battle of Hogwarts to fight alongside her husband. Tonks did something Tonks always does when it comes to Remus: make sure he's not alone, make sure he's loved, make sure he's protected.

Last thing, the 13 years age gap.

Well? Why exactly does that matter?

In OOTP Tonks was 22, Remus was 35. In the wizarding world, Tonks was a woman of full age. Five years over the magical line of 17 years, actually. Both were adults. Why is that problematic? When Tonks was born, Remus was 13. That even makes him too old to be her father! I see no problem in that age gap, to be honest. I only see a problem in the narrow minded people who keep using it as a reason why Remus and Tonks shouldn't be together.

I do not expect you all to ship Remadora after this and abandon all your other Remus x any character ships you liked before, simply to stop hating on Remadora - stop hating on any other ship. This is fiction, after all.

All of us are drawn to that one ship, canon or not, that fills our heart with indescribable joy and makes us believe in true love.

For me, that is Remus x Tonks.

[uh-drarry]

Previous Part

Angsty Quarantine Drarry, requested by, like, three people

(TW: talk of past child abuse) This takes place before my previous Quarantine Social Media AU

- Harry is having a hard time with quarantine despite being stuck in his house with his dads. 

- Draco is living with Blaise and has only been at their flat, the grocery store, or visited their mums since quarantine began a month or so ago.

- He and Harry FaceTime at least once a day and text constantly

- Remus is always asking Harry if Draco is staying up on his English assignments and when they say they’re working on another class he always scoffs and says English is obviously most important with a wink as he walks away

- Sirius is enjoying staying in bed longer in the mornings and waking up with Remus instead of waking up at the ass crack of dawn to help open the cafe as he usually does. He is already starting to miss it though. (But Remus and Harry benefit because Sirius will make them the best coffee or pastries some mornings)

- Draco notices something is off before Remus and Sirius because he’s constantly talking to Harry and the other two think Harry is in his room working on his online assignments and talking to Draco. Which he is, they’re not totally wrong.

- But his grades are starting to slip and Harry is getting very lonely and depressed. Some nightmares are starting to return, and his appetite is waning.

- Being stuck in one space, despite it being a house rather than a cupboard, is getting to him.

- Harry doesn’t talk about this because he thinks it’s ridiculous, it’s been over 15 years since he was removed from the Dursley’s and he’s had therapy for it for years how can this still effect him. He fears looking ungrateful for everything Remus and Sirius have done for him at times like these. 

- Draco notices that Harry seems more tired than usual and is confused about his assignments more than usual. At first Draco chalked the assignment thing up to changing to the online system but then he noticed the other things too. And he starts to get a bit worried but he tells himself that it’s probably nothing. 

- Until he keeps noticing these things and it feels like Harry isn’t contributing much to their conversations, as well as pulling away from Draco. 

- Harry usually only spends time with his dads at dinner now. He tries to paste on a smile and always offers to do the dishes so his dads don’t notice how little he’s eaten. After dishes, he usually claims he’s going to play video games or talk to Draco and his friends or go to bed so Sirius and Remus don’t bat an eye about it. They just hug him goodnight and tell him they love him.

- One night Draco has had enough of the worrying and guessing. He can’t get much out of Harry anymore and he’s getting worried. More so than before. 

- At this point Draco knew a bit about the Dursley’s and what they did to him but the two never really sat down and talked about everything. Draco didn’t want to push Harry about it and Harry didn’t want Draco worrying about him or to scare him off. 

- Draco’s mind, because of the lack of information, doesn’t immediately go to Harry’s history. But he doesn’t know what it could be thats affecting him like this. Draco knows Harry was in an abusive household as a child but that’s about it. 

- So. One night Harry is very quiet during their FaceTime. He’s laying in bed in a blanket burrito and half asleep when he mumbles out that he misses Draco a lot and his blankets aren’t as good at cuddling him as Draco is. A minute later he falls asleep with the FaceTime still going.

- Draco watches him for a couple minutes before ending the call and leaving his flat.

- He’s never snuck in to Harry’s room before, especially without Harry but he’s determined. He knows they have a spare key and that Sirius and Remus are probably watching TV in the back room together.

- He finds the key and as quietly as he can, opens the door.

- Normally he would just knock and have one of Harry’s dads let him in. But he feels like this is an important conversation to have between the two of them before he decides to bring his dads attention to the possible problem.

- Plus he’s not worried about Sirius and Remus, they love him and yeah they wouldn’t love him sneaking in but they’d listen to him before forming an opinion about why he was doing so.

- The only thing he’s worried about is them not letting him stay because of the quarantine. 

- He successfully gets in, and locks the door behind him. He can hear the tv like he assumed, and slowly makes his way up to Harry’s room where he finds a still asleep Harry with his phone still in hand. 

- He can hardly even make out Harry’s head, he’s buried so far in his blankets. 

- Draco quietly makes his way over to Harry, sits on the bed, and gently shakes the sleeping boy. 

- Harry mumbles and tells Remus to go away, but rolls over and opens his eyes when Draco doesn’t leave.

- Harry bolts upward, eyes wide when he realizes that it’s Draco who’s waking him up.

- “Wait.” He rubs his eyes and looks back at Draco, “what’s happening, why are you here?”

- “I snuck in here, darling. I need to talk to you.”

- Harry’s eyes widen “my dads don’t know you’re here? Are you okay?”

- “No they don’t. I found the spare key and they didn’t hear me over the TV. I’m okay, Harry, but I don’t think you are and I was worried and needed to check on you and talk to you in person rather than through a screen.”

- Harry calms a little when Draco says he’s okay, but avoids Draco’s eyes when he says he wants to talk. “What do you want to talk about?”

- “Babe, are you okay?” 

- “What do you mean.”

- “I mean... I feel like something is wrong. Since quarantine started you’ve slowly seemed, I don’t know, not yourself. You seem withdrawn, and like you’re not sleeping well. You were worrying about school which I thought was just because of the online thing but now I don’t think it’s that. I’m just worried and wanted to see if you were feeling okay or if you were sick or just needed a cuddle.”

- “Well I definitely need a cuddle.” Harry mumbled, he laid back onto his bed and unfurled some of his blanket so Draco could be part of his burrito.

- Draco joined him, laying so they were facing each other. They just watched each other for a minute until Draco leaned forward to kiss Harry’s nose. Harry scrunched up his nose and giggled, making Draco smile. 

- “Really though, Babe, are you okay? Do you want to talk about anything?” Draco asked, honestly quite worried about his boy. 

- Harry sighed. And started playing with Draco’s fingers while he gathered his thoughts. 

- “Well. I think-“ Harry paused, looking frustrated with himself.

- He tried again, “so you know that for a few years when I was little, I lived in an abusive home.”

- Draco nodded, “I don’t know much more than that though.”

- “Right. Well, my parents were killed when I was 2 years old. Apparently no one could find a will or anything saying that I was supposed to live with Sirius as my godfather, I still don’t understand that part. Anyway, so I was handed over to the only blood relatives I had left, my mums sister and her husband. And I lived there until I was almost 6.” 

- Draco could tell that opening up like this was costing Harry. He pulled the other boys hands up and kissed them and then leaned forward to kiss Harry properly before allowing him to continue. Before he did though, Harry scooted closer to snuggle into Draco’s chest, and Draco wrapped his arms around Harry, and rested his chin on top of his head.

- “The social workers, they didn’t check on us much. And I think they told the Dursley’s they were coming because they never caught them doing anything to me. Or maybe they ignored it. I don’t know. At least until I was assigned a new social worker, Janie. She made a surprise visit, Vernon made me answer the door because they were eating. I was taken away from them that night, especially after I showed her my bedroom because my bedroom was the cupboard under the stairs.”

- Draco tensed up, immediately livid at these people who he’d never met, and who Harry hadn’t seen since he was 6. He didn’t want to interrupt Harry though, now that he was opening up to him, so he just hugged him tighter and kissed the top of his head before taking a deep breath and continuing to listen.

- “I was like a servant to them. Especially to their son, Dudley. I had to wake up and make them breakfast, clean the house, tend the garden. If I messed up, which happened because I was a toddler, I was punished. There was a lot. I still remember a lot. No one ever believed me because my aunt and uncle made me out to be this troublesome child. I didn’t have time for schoolwork because I had so many chores. I wasn’t allowed to eat much, and I got scraps when I did. I was apparently pretty malnourished. The doctors believed that this all stunted my growth, and that’s why I’m shorter than I should be. And probably why my eyes are so bad too.”

- Harry stopped speaking for a bit then, lost in thought. Draco just continued to hug him while he waited for the rest. “They’re in prison still for what they did to me. I don’t know what happened to my cousin.”

- Harry sighed deeply, “So because of quarantine, I think, and being stuck in one place for who knows how long even if it’s a whole house this time and with people who I know love me it’s starting to bring back bad thoughts. I’m having nightmares again. Which I haven’t had for a few years now and I think I’m getting depressed and my grades are slipping and I’m worried about covid and I feel like all this is so stupid. I haven’t seen the Dursley’s since I was 6, it’s been what, 15 or so years? I’ve been in a loving home for 15 years and yet I get nightmares as soon as I’m not allowed to leave. I feel like it’s all so stupid and I’m stupid for being like this and not appreciative of my Dads for all they’ve done for me.” 

- “You’re not stupid, Harry. Not at all.” Draco could tell Harry was getting emotional and trying to let it out. He could feel a wetness on his shirt from tears of frustration and anger and sadness. But Harry continued on, unable to stop without getting everything off of his chest now. 

- “They fucking took the door off of my closet because I thought I was stuck in there when it closed on me in my first month of living here and had a panic attack. They made our cupboard under the stairs into a good and happy space for reading or hanging out. They have done everything for me and they never gave up on me. I remember them trying to come see me at the Dursley’s all the time, even though they never let them in. I love them so much and I feel like I’m ungrateful for it all when I feel like this-” He broke off, crying harder this time. After a few minutes and some deep breaths he continued again. 

- “Being stuck here is bringing back nightmares, as well as my claustrophobia and I constantly feel trapped, so I just come up here to my room and nap in bed because I’m just so exhausted all the time and I have nowhere else to go. And I try to fake it in front of my dads. I don’t think they’ve really noticed anything. I got good at lying and hiding at the Dursley’s and I hate it even if it helps sometimes.” 

- It seemed that Harry was finally done. Draco hoped he hadn’t left anything big out. He wanted to know and understand Harry on every level, and something this big was a good thing to understand, or at least to know about. 

- Draco leaned back so he could finally see Harry’s face again. He wiped his tears away, and kissed his forehead, “thank you for telling me this, Harry. I want you to know that this will not scare me away, I’m here to stay.”

-Harry squeezed his eyes shut as a few more tears leaked out, he grabbed Draco and hugged him fiercely, “Thank you, Draco. For letting me talk, for listening, and for still being here.”

- “Of course, Harry.” He let the hug go on for a few minutes before tapping his shoulder and pulling back. “C’mon. Up you get.”

- “What? Why what are we doing?”

- “I just need you to get up and grab us another comfy blanket.” Harry looked confused but obliged anyway. When he came back, Draco was up and waiting for him at the doorway and holding out his hand for Harry’s. In his other arm, was Harry’s duvet. Still confused, Harry grabbed his hand. Draco led him upstairs and out onto the roof. He walked to the middle and layed out the blanket Harry had been carrying before grabbing Harry’s hand and pulling him down onto it. He then took Harry’s duvet and rolled them up into it,  and manoeuvring Harry so he was resting against Draco's chest again while looking into the night sky.

- “Oh.” Harry mumbled when he looked up and saw all the stars reflecting back at him. 

- Draco smiled, “You said you were getting claustrophobic being trapped in your house. This way. You’re not trapped inside, but still quarantining at least. And you get to look at the beautiful sky, and feel the breeze.”

- Harry was speechless at the thoughtful gesture. He felt so loved in that moment. Draco snuck here, just to make sure he was okay. He hadn’t run off when Harry told him about his past. He keeps comforting him whenever he needs it. And now he’s doing all he can to help fight everything negative Harry has been feeling over the last month. 

- Harry wiped away another tear before he turned, leaning over Draco. He leaned down and kissed his boy. Trying to convey all of his feelings in that one kiss. He pulled back and stared at Draco for a minute, committing everything to memory. He never wanted to forget this moment.

- Harry looked into Draco’s eyes and thought he could see his emotions reflected back to him. 

- “Draco.” They looked at each other for another moment, Draco moving his hand to cup Harry’s face, while the other went around his waist.

- “I love you, Draco.” It was the first time either of them had said it. Draco's eyes widened slightly before a big grin broke out over his face.

- Draco surged up to kiss him again, then, “I love you too, Harry.” They continued for a few minutes before setting back down to where they’d been, smiles on both of their faces. 

- “Harry?” Draco asked after awhile of pointing out constellations, and certain stars.

- “Yeah?”

- “You’re going to talk to your dads about everything right? Soon? I feel like they will really be able to help you, love.”

- Harry sighed, but nodded. “Yeah, I’ll talk to them tomorrow. Will you be there with me?”

- “Of course I will. I’d do anything for you. But that’s tomorrow and I think we should probably go to sleep. It’s pretty late and you’re not sleeping enough as it is. Mind if I sleep over?”

- “Of course not, Draco. You can sleep over whenever you want. Especially if we sleep in my bed.” 

- “Well I certainly didn’t want to sleep on the couch or the floor.” The two boys got up and took the blankets back inside and down to Harry’s room before snuggling back in Harry’s bed together.

“I love you, Harry James Potter-Lupin.” Draco said with a kiss.

- Harry smiled and replied, “I love you too, Draco Lucius Malfoy.”

Next

Masterlist 

Tags: @pan-and-ready-to-stan @spaceaas @abstractundefined @afanbloglikeanother @potatoloveisreal @itsskylover23 @it-would-set-me-on-fire @panicfanatic-malfoy @drarryruinedme7 @charlenasaxen @vici-l @sweetlialia @devilrising @eruditeslytherin @malfoy-potterx 

[theprodigypenguin]

4 and or 7 with Jeddy

I don’t think this turned out very well, my writing is less than ideal when I’m as stressed out and anxious as I’ve been, but I really got excited when I read the fourth prompt. I actually want to write this into a full fic, but idk. Writing quick drabbles like this helps, and it was fun to explore single dad Teddy with his babies. And I really, really love his babies QwQ so writing about them always makes me really happy. I hope you enjoy this, even if it’s not super perfect.

4. teacher/single parent au

He was shy, sat in the back of the class, and seemed to do everything he could to avoid attention. At recess he sat on a bench and watched the other children play, kicking his feet and hugging a book to his chest that seemed years above his reading level.

After years of studying child psychology while working towards becoming a teacher, James had prepared himself to deal with the shy kids. The five year old wasn’t as shy when James talked to him alone. In fact he had an advanced vocabulary and incredible comprehension for what was happening around him. He excelled at schoolwork and could hold long conversations with James. Around other children, however, he became incredibly shy and withdrawn, and shyness around children his own age was a concern.

“Do you know anything about the Lupin family?” James was pouring sugar into a cup of coffee in the teacher’s lounge.

The school nurse, Scorpius Malfoy, was standing beside him with his own cup of coffee. “Not much,” he answered. “The youngest is in your class, right?”

“Dorian,” James gave a slow nod. “He’s shy.”

“His older brother isn’t,” Scorpius chuckled. “Remus. He’s two years older, always getting dragged to my office after falling off a swing or jumping off the monkey bars. He’s very vocal, very cheerful. Their father is a single parent.”

“Single parent household, that explains a bit,” James leaned against the counter. “Did their mother die?”

“I forgot you only started working here last year,” Scorpius hummed. “No, they divorced a few years ago. Remy didn’t seem very affected by it. I got the sense the mother wasn’t very present in their lives, but you’d have to ask their father.”

“Maybe I should,” James murmured. “I’ll try and stop him when he comes to pick the boys up. What does he do for a living again?”

“He’s a cop, actually,” Scorpius revealed, “but I don’t know much about him.”

“Guess I’ll figure that out, too. I’ve never met him before, so this should be interesting.”

Scorpius took a quiet sip of his coffee, reaching out to pat James on the shoulder as he headed for the door. “He’s a nice guy, I think you’re gonna like him. Knowing you.”

“What’s that mean?” James inquired, but Scorpius just smiled as he left the room.

James kept an eye on Dorian throughout the day. He was as quiet as usual, and unlike the rest of his class, he didn’t appear troubled by the fact the pouring rain was keeping them from going outside for recess. He stayed sitting in his seat coloring something as the rest of the class played with blocks and tucked themselves into their individual groups.

After ensuring the children weren’t getting into anything, James walked over to Dorian and looked down at what he was coloring. It was quite good for a five year old, and had a lot of color. James crouched down, keeping one hand on the back of Dorian’s seat and smiling at him.

“What are you coloring?”

“My daddy,” Dorian answered, and James tilted his head curiously as the five year old colored in the man’s hair with a blue crayon.

“Does your daddy have blue hair?”

“Sometimes. Other times it’s brown.”

“Brown like yours?” James asked. He took a moment to look at Dorian’s hair. It was light, pale and ashy brown. The highlight in his hair was almost golden blonde.

Dorian gave a jerky nod. “But more brown like Remy’s.”

“Remy is your brother?” James smiled. Dorian nodded again.

“He’s old.”

James laughed, looking at Dorian’s drawing. There were a few sheets of paper with drawings. Some of his father, some of his brother, drawings of houses, cars, even dragons. James couldn’t help but notice there were no women in his drawings. There were no pictures of his mother.

“Can I ask you something, Dorian?” James asked, and Dorian gave a nod without looking up. “Do you remember your mum?”

Dorian nodded again. “She was pretty,” he said, and James furrowed his brow.

“Do you see your mum often?”

Dorian picked up an orange crayon and started coloring a flower. “Mum works.”

“Your daddy works too, doesn’t he?” James asked, and Dorian shrugged.

“The man in the black cloak said she can only see us sometimes.”

James frowned. So during the divorce a judge ruled that Dorian’s father had full custody and his mother only had visiting rights. Something must have happened to warrant that.

“Dorian, would it be alright if I talked to your daddy?”

Dorian nodded. “Daddy is nice. He picks Remy and me up after school every day.”

“That’s very attentive of him. He must be a great father.”

“Mhm.”

“Will I be able to meet him today?”

“Yeah.”

“Thank you very much,” James said, getting to his feet. “I’ll let you finish your picture.”

“Thank you.”

James smiled down at the polite boy before walking back to his desk. It was still pouring outside when the final bell rang, so the children waited in the classroom for their parents. An older boy with dark brown hair barreled into the room, and somehow James knew this was Dorian’s brother, Remus.

He ran right over to where Dorian was sitting, dragging a chair over to sit with him and taking one of the crayons and a blank piece of paper. James smiled. It was always heartwarming to see siblings so close. It wasn’t surprising if the brothers came from a single parent household. Remus must have come in to wait with Dorian until their father came to pick him up.

If he was a cop, it wasn’t a surprise that he was the last parent to pick his kids up, forty minutes after the bell. James had never met him before, but Edward Lupin was not what he’d expected. Tall, over six feet, with brown hair similar to Dorian’s nix the blonde highlights. His eyes were a unique coloring, blue-green and violet. He wore stylish street clothing, black jeans with boots, and a white button down dress shirt with a black trench coat that fell down to his knees. There were piercings in his ears and a tattoo on his neck. He was stupidly attractive, and James forgot how to speak for a moment.

He continued to stare at him as a smile broke over his face, looking at the back of the classroom towards his sons.

Remus was the first to notice him, jumping up and running to the front. “Daddy!”

“Hey Rem,” he crouched down to meet the boy, scooping him into his arms before raising back up. “Have a good day?”

“Uh-huh! We got a new book, and we’re supposed to write about it after reading it! Also we got to stay inside, and I almost broke a window!”

James turned his head to stifle his laughter as Mr. Lupin hummed. “Well, that sure is something. Did you break it?”

“No, the ball was made of foam.”

“Ah. You weren’t trying to break the window on purpose by any chance, were you?”

Remus whispered his response. “We wanted to play in the puddles but Miss Abbott wouldn’t let us so the boys in my class elected me president and we tried to escape.”

“Well, that’s interesting.”

James cleared his throat as he stood up, smiling when the other man looked over at him. “Sorry, we haven’t met yet. I’m James Potter, I’m Dorian’s teacher.”

“Right.” The man set Remus back down and walked over to the desk, reaching out to shake James’ hand. “Edward Lupin, call me Teddy.”

“Teddy,” James smiled, nodding. “Um, would it be alright if we talked?”

Teddy looked startled for a moment. “Yeah, of course.” He sat down in the chair in front of James’ desk. “This is about Dorian?”

“Yes,” James said with a sigh, looking towards the back of the room where the brothers were sitting. “Dorian is an incredibly bright child. He’s smart, but he isn’t very social around the other kids.”

Teddy folded his arms with a nod. “He’s shy around people he doesn’t know.”

“Which is normal for children,” James quickly agreed. “I’m sorry if this is out of line, I’m just concerned for my students.”

“It’s fine, I understand,” Teddy rubbed his shoulder.

“Has Dorian always been shy?”

“Yeah,” Teddy answered. “I encourage him to talk to kids his own age, and his brother helps, but Dorian is an anxious kid.”

“One of my coworkers mentioned you divorced a few years ago?” Teddy nodded, staring down. “How old was Dorian?”

“Two.” Teddy lifted his head. “I don’t think he remembers it. I don’t know, maybe that’s why he’s so shy; because he didn’t get the maternal love he needed.”

“A child can grow perfectly fine without a mother if they get the right attention from family and friends,” James argued. “Remus seems to be your average energetic eight year old. Some people are introverts, some are extroverts. Dorian is just an introvert.”

“I know, but I can’t imagine her not being there helps.”

James couldn’t help feeling empathetic. “Why did you divorce? If I can ask?”

Teddy cleared his throat, looking at the window. “My ex wife didn’t seem to care much about our sons,” he explained, tapping his fingers against his arm. “Or our marriage. Don’t get the wrong idea, I think at one time she did want to marry me. She said yes when I asked after all. She never said she didn’t want kids, never said she was unhappy.”

“But?”

“After Dorian was born she started spending a lot of time out of the house,” Teddy said. “Came home late every night, claimed it was for work. I’m a detective, I know when someone’s being unfaithful. The fact she thought she could lie to me,” he laughed, shaking his head.

James pressed his lips together. “I’m sorry.”

“Tried to keep us together, but a man can only take so much. I was a single father long before we got divorced.”

“So she wasn’t around at all for Dorian, from the day he was born onward.”

“Pretty much.”

“I’m sorry,” James said softly. “If it means anything, you’ve done an incredible job without her. Your children seem very well rounded, and like I said before Dorian is incredibly bright.”

Teddy nodded. “I’ve tried to be as present and involved in their lives as possible. Being a father and a mother.”

“Does your ex wife have visiting rights?”

Teddy scoffed. “Yes, but she rarely uses them. The kids see her once every few months, maybe. She lives in town, but god knows she’s too busy to spend time with her children.”

James could see the strain Teddy was under, how frustrated and angry he was. “Well, she’s not the one who raised them, is she? They’re your children first. She can’t pick and choose when to be a mother. She forfeited those rights when she didn’t fight you for custody.”

Teddy looked surprised. “How did you know she didn’t fight for them?”

“She has visiting rights but never shows up. Doesn’t take a detective to figure it out.”

“That’s fair.”

“I wanted to talk to you because I was concerned about Dorian. I wondered if his homelife was affecting his lack of social interaction, but you seem like a good dad. He’s just introverted and shy, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“He’s not that introverted around people he knows well,” Teddy said. “He’s quiet, but that just means he’s thoughtful.”

“He’s a good kid.”

Teddy was smiling at James. “He talks about you,” he said. “His new teacher. He says you spend a lot of time with him.”

James blushed. “Well every child is different,” he argued. “Since he’s so quiet I just got the feeling he would do well with some extra attention. The other kids do well on their own, but Dorian never speaks up if he has questions, so I ask him one on one just so I know he understands the lesson.”

“Not a lot of teachers take the time to do that,” Teddy said, watching James thoughtfully, and James shrugged.

“I’m just trying to make a difference.”

Teddy smiled. “You’re certainly making a difference in my son’s life.” James was too flustered to reply until Teddy spoke again. “How long have you been teaching?”

“This is my second year,” James answered. “I spent a few extra years in Uni studying psychology, took this job right when I graduated.”

“How old are you?”

“Twenty-five,” James answered, arching an eyebrow. “You?”

“Thirty-one.”

“You had Remus early then.”

“I married their mother when I was twenty. She was my childhood sweetheart, we dated through school. Relationships like that statistically don’t last long.”

“What did she do?”

“Beautician,” Teddy answered. James furrowed his brow, wrinkling his nose.

“Somehow that doesn’t surprise me.”

“No kidding.”

“And you’re a detective?”

“Yeah,” Teddy smiled wistfully. “I’m more of a nine to five desk worker now, though. The hours are better for the kids. I get to work after school starts and get off when the day here ends. It gives me more time to be a father.”

“You prioritized your children above your career,” James smiled, and Teddy gave a tight smile, nodding.

“They needed me.”

“You’re a good dad,” James said, and Teddy smiled at him.

“You’ve said that about four times,” he revealed, and James’ face started to burn.

“Did I?”

Teddy laughed, “It’s fine. I worry sometimes, so it’s nice to hear I’m doing okay. Especially since I’m on my own.”

“You’d never know it,” James said. He smiled when Remus came up to the desk, clinging to Teddy’s coat.

“Daddy I’m hungry.”

“It is snack time, isn’t it?” Teddy asked, smiling at James. “Unless there’s anything else you needed to talk to me about?”

“No, I’m done.” James waved his hands. “The children are hungry.”

“Thank you.” Teddy stood up, stroking a hand through Remy’s hair and looking towards the back of the classroom. “Dori, ready to go?”

Dorian opened his bag and stuffed all his paper and crayons into it before closing it and scurrying over to the front of the room, barreling into Remy. Remus took his bag, but Dorian kept a firm grip on a piece of paper. It was partly crumpled in his fist, and he kept it close as Teddy picked him up to prop against his hip.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Dorian,” James said with a smile. Dorian held out the paper, and James curiously took it from him. “Is this for me?”

Dorian nodded, lying his head on Teddy’s shoulder, snuggling against him. Teddy rubbed a hand up and down Dorian’s back, looking down at Teddy.

“It’s raining, put your coat on.”

Remus pulled his coat out of his backpack with a dramatic flair before yanking it on. He then pulled out Dorian’s coat, handing it up to Teddy so he could coax the five year old into it. James smiled as Teddy pulled the hood onto Dorian’s head so all James could see was one of his dark blue eyes.

“It was nice to speak with you; nice to meet you.” Teddy reached out with his left hand, and James shook it.

He smiled more when Dorian held his hand out next, reaching up to shake his hand too. “Yeah, anytime. You’ve got a brilliant boy here.”

“Yes I do,” Teddy grinned. He started for the door but paused, looking back at James. “Hey, uh… maybe we can talk again later.”

James was startled, but nodded. “Yeah, absolutely.” He looked down at his desk and sifted through his papers. “If you want to schedule a parent-teacher conference, I can find my schedule-”

“Actually,” James looked back at Teddy, who had a smile on his face. “I was thinking something… less official. Do you drink coffee?”

James felt like he might pass out, blushing and flustered. “Coffee, yeah, I drink coffee. Do you drink coffee?”

“I prefer tea, but I’ll drink coffee if it’s made right,” Teddy answered. “I know a good place, a few blocks from my place. We could meet there.”

“Absolutely.” James waved at Teddy. “My cell number should be on the syllabus I sent home with Dorian on the first day of school. You can text me the name of the cafe and a time to meet.”

“Great. It’s a date then.” Teddy grinned, and James nodded jerkily as Teddy reached out to take Remy’s hand and they left the room.

It took James a drawn moment to fully comprehend the man had asked him out on a date, and his face burned hotter as he sat down. He felt a little taken aback, very embarrassed, and a little suspicious. He certainly hoped there was a chance Teddy was bisexual when he walked in, because he was insanely hot; and a cop, which was even hotter. Plus he was single, and the kids were just a bonus. James loved kids.

Teddy asked him out first, which meant he was interested in James like James was interested in him. How lucky could he get?

He uncrumpled the picture Dorian had given him, and his heart seized in his chest. It was a colored picture of four people. Scribbled above each of them was a name. Daddy, Remy, Me, Mr. Potter.

James figured that was a silent sign that Dorian already accepted James. That would make things a lot easier if James ended up dating Teddy. Which was a silly thought considering they’d just met. Still, James wouldn’t be against dating Teddy.

He pulled his phone from his pocket and set it on the desk in front of him, eagerly anticipating Teddy’s text. His head lifted when he heard a knock on the door. Scorpius was standing there, holding a file under his arm and smiling at James.

“So you met Teddy?”

“Yes,” James answered, staring at Scorpius, who offered him a knowing smile.

“Did you ask him out?”

James blushed furiously, bristling. “No, I did not!”

“Well, did he ask you out?”

“What makes you think either of us asked the other out?!”

“Well at the very least he asked you out. He’s had his eyes on you since Dorian started school here.”

“He what?” James felt more flustered than before.

Scorpius snorted. “He saw you on the first day of class when he came to pick the boys up. Wouldn’t stop asking me about you. For the past few months he’s been asking me about you.”

“Wait, do you know him?” James asked, and Scorpius gave him a crooked smile.

“Ted’s my cousin.”

James gaped at him. “You left that out intentionally?”

“Well, I thought it’d be more entertaining this way.” He backed out of the room. “Have a good night, James. I’ll be looking forward to my cousin calling me tonight all flustered asking me how to text you.”

James waited for him to shut the door before dropping his face onto the desk with a groan. He’d been single for way too long. The schoolboy excitement was absurd, but could he be blamed? Teddy was hot and his kids were precious. One meeting and James was lost already.

send me a ship and a number and i’ll write a short fic

[ao3feed-tomarrymort]

by MagicianOfDabChaos

Harry comes to Hogwarts withdrawn into himself. He does not get angry, nor sad, or anxious when people speak behind his back or hurt him. He does not care about telling lies, it would never change anything. He does not care what everyone says to him. He does not care eyes follow him constantly whether it be in the Wizarding World or Muggle World, it does not make a difference. None of them do not prevent him reaching his greatest desire. Hogwarts is very upset, the Sorting Hat is puzzled, the professors are thrown in a loop after finding out what is this small boy's desire.

Words: 3000, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Albus Dumbledore, Severus Snape, Neville Longbottom, Tom Riddle, Tom Riddle | Voldemort, Harry Potter, Filius Flitwick, Draco Malfoy, Death (Harry Potter), Hogwarts Founders Portraits, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Sorting Hat (Harry Potter), Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Luna Lovegood, Dementors (Harry Potter), Diary Tom Riddle

Relationships: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle | Voldemort, Harry Potter/Tom Riddle

Additional Tags: Hogwarts is alive, and shes angery, Harry being friendly, but also not giving a fuck, Tom doesn't understand Harry, I don't know if I should put bashing tags, Only pointing out things that seemed odd, or messed up to me, but some characters do change there ways, then some don't, Sirius Black Lives, Sweet Harry Potter, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Possessive Tom Riddle, Sane Tom Riddle, Tags May Change, Not Beta Read, Harry gets excited at the wrong things, Protective Flitwick, Protective Severus Snape

[janus-manus]

High School AU For A Sec

(personally, I wouldn’t read this if you’re interested in “A Place For Me”, it takes away a lot of information that you learn in the story)

Somewhere in Central Pennsylvania, there is a small town called Marshfield, which lies adjacent to the Marcia River. There is one high school, Marshfield High School.

ROMAN

Roman was always the “good” twin, he progressed quickly with his art skills, he was devoted to football, and to theater. He was steadfast and loyal, even at a young age. His parents always pushed him to new heights. He had to get a 4.0 to get into the best college, he always had to get the best role in a play, and he had to never miss a football practice.

He puts up a conceited, vain and confident mask. He plays the “hero” in everyday life. He doesn’t have many true friends, he never had time for them. He never wanted to go to college, and yet he spends hours making sure he can. He doesn’t even like football, but he’s been training for it his whole life. Theater is the one thing in his life that he truly has passion for. He does the school musical, as well as small community plays, and has no doubts that he wants to be a stage actor when he graduates high school.

REMUS

Remus is Roman’s older brother by seven minutes, and the fact he brings it up at every meal drives Roman up the wall. Other than age, Remus has nothing to match for Roman. From a young age, Roman was the favorite, but while he was drawing portraits of the family and training to be a football player, Remus was up in his room creating.

He had a knack for creation, just like his brother, and a passion for theater and art. His self expression was very different, however. He created ridiculous caricatures, gruesome art, and dark plays. Furthermore, he never created for anyone but himself, his creations were self-indulgent.

Because of the obvious favoritism, Remus grew up feeling like no one would ever appreciate his work. He never worried about that, though. He was happy creating for himself. And no matter what, his brother stuck by him. Remus made costumes like you wouldn’t believe, and he had a small secret passion for science and math, which were the only subjects he never failed in. He didn’t get bad grades, As and Bs in middle school, and Bs and Cs in high school but in the eyes of his parents, he was a failure.

He doesn’t want to college, to spite his parents, but also, kind of, he wants to go to college and get a PhD for the same reason. He knows what he would do, he would become an engineer, something that has fascinated him his whole life.

LOGAN

Logan was precise and precocious, never wasting a word. He didn’t talk much, but when he did, you had better listen. He never strove for good grades, because he realized that was bullshit. He still managed As and Bs, even in high school. He was a scholar at heart, spending hours in the school library doing research, very rarely for school. He can’t wait to graduate high school so he can learn the things he wants to learn.

Logan never had many friends growing up. He was an only child. He spent his time lost in books and research, he thought friends were “unnecessary for success”. He wants to major in Astrology and minor in Neuroscience. He also has a strong interest in Physics.

PATTON

Patton had nine siblings growing up, but none of them were his friends. He was shy and trepidatious about making friends. That is, until he met Lily.

His family lived in a house far out of the heat of the town. It was an hour just to get to school each day. On the front side of their house, there was a lonely road, on the other, forest. Patton and his siblings spent hours in the forest. They were taught how to hunt and gather, how to get clean water. The forest was an escape from the busy household Patton lived in.

One day, while he was lying by a babbling brook as a five year old, he spotted a deer. She was calm and graceful, and behind he trailed a smaller version, weak and young. Patton didn’t move, so as not to scare the deer away, but, much to his surprise, the mother walked towards him, the baby not far behind. Patton knew to be cautious of animals, but when she nudged him with a soft look, he was put under a spell.

He spent all day with the doe and her child. She showed no inhibitions around him, even treating him as her own child sometimes. But that was just the first animal. He name the baby, a little girl, Lily, and spent hours in the woods with the two.

Patton was homeschooled, as well as a few of his siblings, because transporting ten kids to school every morning wasn’t really an options. When they hit highschool, that would change.

Patton had dozens of friends in the forest, that would follow him around. He would talk to them, and although they never said anything, somehow he carried conversations for hours. He was truly a Disney princess.

As he got older, he developed his voice. He has an incredible singing voice, and because a bit of an urban legend as his marched through the woods, deer, bunnies, crows and many more animals walking in line as he belted out heart-wrenching ballads.

By the time he was ten, he wrote music nearly every minute of his being. He was like a siren, the locals always said. Many people complimented his voice, but he was too shy to thank them.

On the first day of high school, he got in trouble for carrying a chipmunk in his bag, which, in all fairness, he didn’t know was there.

(I meant for a non-magical au, but Patton is sort of unclear on that, m‘kay?)

VIRGIL

Virgil lives at home with his dad, all his other siblings are older and have moved out. His mother died when he was young, and his entire family became very withdrawn. He has a feeling there’s something his father and siblings won’t tell him, but there isn’t enough of a relationship to ask.

His father really, really tries to help Virgil, and be a good father, but depression and anxiety have gotten in his way. He wanted to send Virgil to live with his sister, Virgil’s aunt, but immediately changed his mind when Virgil came out as a trans guy, knowing there weren’t any family members he could trust to be kind of Virgil.

Virgil attended online school for a good part of his schooling, as in school, he was constantly bullied and shamed, for being trans, for being feminine, for being emo and dyeing his hair, so he was taken home. He and his father decided that he was going to try public school again for high school.

He’s is shy and anxious, but he wants to get some experience with other people before he hurtles himself into the world at eighteen.

DEE

At a young age, Dee was taken from his parents after some serious offenses were pulled by them. He doesn’t know much about what happened, except that something happened to his brother, and then he could never see his parents again. He was quickly tossed into the foster care system (I don’t know anything about foster care so like, excuse me) and ended up in Rivers End. In middle school, he met a girl name Sam.

They quickly became friends, and she became his first girlfriend. They dated for awhile before Dee came out as gay, and that ended up. Neither of them were too broken up about it, and they stayed close friends. More than that, Dee spent more time at her house than he did in his foster home. As the months and years went by, he realized his family was right in front of him: Sam and her family.

It was an easy choice for the family and Dee, and by the time he was going into ninth grade they began the process of adopting him. Dee’s foster family was fine with this, they didn’t care much about him anyway, only that he ended up in a good place.

However, when confronted with a judge, Sam’s dad mentioned a small detail: Sam and Dee use to date. A long time had past, and the idea of dating to them now was absurd. Dee was gay, and they thought of each other as siblings, but the judge wasn’t convinced.

Dee has always been punk, but he pretty much went off the walls anarchist when this happened, and he probably has graffitied “fuck the foster care system” somewhere.

[hcrvestmocn-blog]

「 wong yukhei, twenty, cismale + he/him 」 ☆ is that IVAN GREYBACK spotted in KNOCKTURN ALLEY ?! as they walk along the cobblestone ground they seem to be quite JOCULAR, but also WITHDRAWN, it makes sense given they are a TATTOO ARTIST and their patronus is a HYENA. the light of a full moon disappearing behind some clouds, when your boggart manifests as yourself,  nodding your head yes but screaming on the inside, wearing a leather jacket in any kind of weather, working with a cigarette braced in between your lips  + KILLING IN THE NAME OF by RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE make me think of them. mala, 20, cst, she/her.

hellooo!! i’m mala and this is my slightly messed up but secretly has a heart of gold baby, ivan. below is just some basic info about him and possible connections. if you’re feeling up to plotting anything feel free to give this a like or hmu! 

the basics; 

name: ivan greyback

birthplace: hong kong

birthdate: june 27th 

zodiac sign: cancer 

ethnicity: half chinese, half thai 

occupation: tattoo artist at markus scarrs indelible tattoos 

hogwarts house: slytherin

patronus: hyena

languages spoken: cantonese, mandarin, thai, english 

backstory; 

ivan was a very small child when he was bitten by a werewolf that happened to be turned by fenrir greyback. his maker followed fenrir’s philosophies to the tee, believing werewolves should be turned young and brought up to hate wizards. the only major problem was, ivan was a wizard himself. 

as time went on, raising a child who possessed both magical and wolf-like abilities became too much. there really was no controlling ivan. left with no other choice, ivan’s parents did whatever they could to contact his maker and pleaded with them to take him. 

ivan’s maker was more than happy to take him into the greyback pack, but for none of the right reasons. they kind of treated him like an experiment and often used the fact that ivan’s parents had given him up against him. it’s like they wanted him to hate wizard-kind even though he was one.  it was all very fucked up. but ivan was given food, a place to rest his head, and guidance during his unbearable transitions. so, he stayed. 

currently;  

depending on the situation, ivan can be very mixed in his personality. he often feels trapped, like a prisoner to his own body and living situation. this causes him to be more withdrawn, more hesitant around people he’s just met. he knows these are different times, but being a werewolf still comes with a stigma. not to mention, he comes from a pack that was “descended” from one of the most notorious werewolves of all time. he constantly lives in fear of what people will say or do once they find out.

 he currently works as a tattoo artist in a shop in knockturn alley. it’s ideal for now, as knockturn alley usually draws in a more undesirable and outcasted crowd. there, he feels like he can be more of himself and often jokes around and has fun with customers. he loves getting creative, putting his own flair and his own personal struggles into his artwork. 

however, when a full moon is coming he’s often nowhere to be found. he fears his wolf-like nature and often hides away during his changes, fearful of what he might do to others and what they might do to him. 

he really wishes he could just be comfortable with who he is. he faces judgement in the wizarding world for being a werewolf and judgement by his own pack for being a wizard. there are very few people for him to look to for guidance and reassurance. remus lupin would’ve been nice, but ivan still feels guilty considering it was fenrir greyback who turned him. to this day, ivan’s boggart still manifests as himself. 

quirks; 

loves rare meats and steaks, but is kind of embarrassed about it. always sits in the back corners of pubs or restaurants, likes to be hidden from view

was almost sorted into hufflepuff, but his sense of self-preservation won out so he was placed into slytherin instead 

most magical creatures do not like him since he’s kind of seen as a predator. so, he spends a lot of time in the magical menagerie, trying to improve his relationship with some of the creatures and gain their trust. there’s only a select few that will tolerate him, but it’s a start. 

his patronus is a hyena. it’s symbolic because he is always laughing and joking around the ones he trusts, but there is a dangerous edge to him. aka being a werewolf and all. 

connections; 

childhood friends (open) - ivan was very reserved even back in his hogwarts days. these two weren’t necessarily the best of friends, but they sat together during meals, worked together in classes, etc. might’ve drifted apart after graduation 

regular (open) - someone who ivan’s done lots of tattoos on, they’ve probably developed a sort of bond by now, might even go for drinks together sometimes 

bad reputation (open) - things might be a little awkward and hostile between these characters due to all the past atrocities fenrir greyback has committed, not that ivan is anything like him, despite belonging to his pack

unlikely friends (open) - kind of a spin off of the bad reputation wc, you’d expect these two to have bad blood or some kind of like family rivalry, but instead they’ve looked past it and become friends

hook up (open) - ivan’s normally pretty shy when it comes to these things, but when there’s a full moon coming,  we all know how that goes 

[crimsonrevolt]

Congratulations Abby you’ve been accepted to Crimson Revolt as Remus Lupin!

↳ please refer to our character checklist

I must admit that I’m always quite partial when it comes to applications for Remus, because he’s one of my favorite characters in the series as well, but I was delighted and entranced the more I read through your app. The grasp you showed for Remus’ character went beyond all doubts, especially how you took the bare minimum of a skeleton that we presented and the little we know of his youth, and made Remus your own. We can’t wait to see you explore him further in the context of this rp and to see him develop as you write him! *your FC change to Keiynan Lonsdale has been accepted!

application beneath the cut

OUT OF CHARACTER

INTRODUCTION

Abby, 22, She/Her, EST

ACTIVITY

7/10 (Moderately active, with a preference for lengthy paras that are well thought out as opposed to several short replies)

TRIGGERS

*removed for privacy

HOW DID YOU FIND US?

Through the tags!

WHAT HARRY POTTER CHARACTER DO YOU IDENTIFY WITH MOST?

While reading the books, Remus Lupin is definitely the character I identified most with. I loved the way that he took on a mentor role in Harry’s life, and it was interesting for me to see him struggle with and cope with the various aspects of the war, such as Dumbledore’s death and the birth of his child. I found myself relating to some of his struggles with control and allowing himself to be happy with Tonks.

ANYTHING ELSE?

N/A

IN CHARACTER

DESIRED CHARACTER

Remus Lupin

FACE CLAIM

Ben Whishaw

REASON FOR CHOSEN CHARACTER

I have played as Remus for years, and am very attached to his character due to his similarities to my own personality. I love delving into his personality and behaviors and finding new ways to explore these with my interactions and conversations with other writers and characters!

In general, I like to try and showcase not only the qualities that made me fall in love with Remus’ character, but also some of his negative qualities and the darker aspects that could come to light in the middle of a tense war. In the bio you state that Remus has difficulties with violent outbursts. I imagine that due to his background, he has issues with depression and anxiety, and is quietly struggling with these more and more as the war progresses. I would be interested in playing into this quality, and developing these tendencies and the effect that they might have on his relationships and work.

PREFERRED SHIPS // CHARACTER SEXUALITY // GENDER & PRONOUNS

I prefer to play Remus as bisexual, with he/him pronouns. Remus has an extremely complicated and difficult relationship with the concept of romance and sex, and is closeted with his preferences and usually avoids the topic whenever possible, even with those closest to him. Due to the canon information that we have about Remus’ insecurities and hesitation in his involvement with Tonks in the future, I imagine that he hasn’t had many healthy, happy relationships in the past.

For this reason, I would be against most traditional relationships for Remus without extensive development beforehand, as I imagine anything less would be out of character for him. I would be interested in pursuing other types of potentially less-healthy relationships that would work alongside his canon with the right partner if they were interested!

Personally, I am partial to wolfstar if there is chemistry with the other writer and plenty of development prior to this.

CREATE ONE (OR MORE!) OF THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR CHARACTER:

EXPAND ON TRAITS

+ Loyal:

Due to his reserved nature, Remus has few that he has allowed close. For the few that have managed to break through his defensive barriers, he is loyal nearly to a fault. Devoted, he feels a debt to those closest to him and will do nearly anything for the few he has come to know as family. His withdrawn nature can often be read as untrustworthy, but those closest to him know that this couldn’t be further from the truth.

+ Reasonable

Observation is something that is a learned trait for Remus rather than a natural one. Years of practice and careful thought to navigate circumstances years above his young age have forced Remus to be cold and calculating in certain areas, often suspicious. However, when applied to the people he cares about, his observant, reasonable nature and ability to read people translates to compassion. For those closest to him, Remus is often a trustworthy and judgement-free confidant. Most of the time, he is fair, rational, and level-headed, something that he prides himself on. To him, this represents a much-desired control that is often lacking in other areas of his life.

+ Physically & mentally strong

Although his fragile surface may not illustrate this, Remus is undoubtedly resilient. Having already had to deal with enough emotional and physical pain and misfortune for a lifetime or two, he is no stranger to suffering, and covers it all up with a steely sense of mildness and calm that drive those closest to him mad. Each moon has left him with both a high tolerance for pain and countless scars beyond those written in blood, but he strives to try and not let this get to him. Steadfast, his determination in completing tasks and remaining faithful to those he cares about is one of his strongest qualities. However, along with this tenacity and perseverance comes an inevitable stubbornness and unyielding nature when crossed.

+ Sweet

Sweet and charming, Remus’ quiet nature can be endearing at times. Always looking out for others, he has a thoughtful, pleasing manner about him that has managed to get him out of several tight situations before. To most who know Remus, he is nothing more than a kind, sweet guy. However when confronted about this, Remus will quickly reject the idea.

- Aggressive

Aggression is not something that people would ordinarily associate with Remus at first glance. However, beneath the careful layers and barriers that the man keeps up, Remus struggles with this daily. At first, aggression was merely something he associated with the wolf. Fearing his parent’s would look at him and see the monster, he forced himself to shut out natural emotions such as anger, saving those for his monthly transformations. However, this coping mechanism has led to a difficulty in managing anger and other natural reactions for fear of how others might react. At times, this manifests physically in the form of anxiety and panic, a fear of losing control so great that it can cause him to shut down. For Remus, there is nothing worse than those around him looking at him in fear like they would at the wolf.

- Resentful

The brooding war has had an impact on everyone, regardless of their stance in the tension. For Remus, the years prior to graduation and his uneasiness on where his place might be once he is finished with school, combined with the conflict outside Hogwarts’ doors have led him to become exceedingly depressive at times. Dejected, this negativity pulls down at his otherwise kind and optimistic nature, dividing him in two. To others, he is kind, steadfast, and always looking for solutions: optimistic as a necessity rather than a preference. However at night when there is no one else around him to impress, he doubts himself and his ability to help those he cares about most in the years to come. This depressive, resentful nature leads him to be cold and standoffish at times. Insomnia, anxiety, weight loss and restlessness increasingly plague his days and become more difficult to hide as the war rages on.

- Self-limiting

Critical to a core, at times Remus is his own worst enemy. On the outside, this presents itself as humorous quips and extreme modesty. To others, he might be polite, shy, or perhaps just reserved, a stark contrast to his boasting and loud friends. However, deeper down this self-deprecating nature is much more toxic and damaging. What started out as a hatred for his lycanthopy and the wolf at a young age have led Remus to hold himself to impossible standards to meet. In order to make up for what he believes to be short-comings, he is extremely hard on himself and ruthless in his perfectionism. Oftentimes, rather than face failure or rejection, Remus would rather limit himself, rarely making an effort to truly reach his own potential for fear that he isn’t capable or worth it.

- Poor choices

In an effort to please others, and particularly those closest to him, Remus can often find himself making poor choices. His judgement, while ordinarily present to keep him honest and fair, tends to be outweighed by his desire to please others and be liked. Constantly seeking approval, he has a history of setting aside what he knows to be right in order to impress others, something that he resents and regrets.

A FEW POTENTIAL PLOT POINTS

Interactions with Wolves: In the Second Wizarding War, Remus was tasked with reaching out to the werewolf community and acting as a spy in order to retrieve information. I would be interested in pursuing a plot point like this throughout the First Wizarding War. This would be an interesting plot to write, especially if it was required to remain a secret, potentially used to help divide the Marauders as the war progresses, leading up to the events in 1981.

Survival: I would also be interested in figuring out how Remus copes with the loss that is associated with war. As a resentful person, Remus can often be extremely depressive, and exploring how he deals with death and copes with change could be an intriguing idea. In addition to this, he will have to learn to rely on others, and building relationships with people is a particular challenge of his and one that could make for many interesting plots.

IN CHARACTER QUESTIONNAIRE

♔ If you were able to invent one spell, potion, or charm, what would it do, what would you use it for or how would you use it? Feel free to name it:

Remus thought carefully for a moment, the weight of the answer the implications in the words heavy on his tongue. “I would create a treatment for lycanthropy.”

♔ You have to venture deep into the Forbidden Forest one night. Pick one other character and one object (muggle or magical), besides your wand, that you’d want with you:

“Deep into the Forbidden Forest?” Remus replied, his head tilting slightly. Well this is one that doesn’t require much imagination. “I suppose I’d take Sirius, and a tent. Sirius makes for fun company if I’m going to be freezing my arse out there in the woods all night. I’d imagine that he’d find some way to make a game out of it.”

♔ What kinds of decisions are the most difficult for you to make?

“Decisions that involve the people I care about. My friends.” Remus answered, biting his lip. “I don’t think there are any decisions that are really easy anymore. Unless, you know, you count deciding what to eat for dinner or what shirt to wear.” A small small pulled at the edges of his lips. “I think that half the reason I’ve only got three is to make it easier for me to decide.”

♔ What is one thing you would never want said about you?

“Just one?” He answered, the thoughtful look in his eyes betraying the attempt at a smile. “Depends on who’s saying it. I wouldn’t want the guys to think that I don’t trust them, or that I’m someone I’m not.” He paused after a small beat. “Anyone else can say what they want. Doesn’t matter.”

WRITING SAMPLE

(This para sample is set in the future in the “Lost Years”, during the time after James and Lily are murdered, and before he is introduced to all of us in The Prisoner of Azkaban.)

Four Seasons || Self-Para

It was a curious thing, time. One minute would go by, just like any other, with the hands on the clock moving in the right direction and everything going perfectly as usual, and the next, the world has stopped and the hands are spinning backwards and forwards all at once, sometimes frozen altogether, and a quiet young man finds to his horror that there isn’t anything he can do about it but stand still and wait for it to pass him over. That’s how time tended to move in those days, really. Just like the hands on a broken clock, heading sometimes backwards and forwards and often not at all, attempting to figure out a purpose and place in a world that he, an outdated relic of the past, no longer belonged in.

Remus walked down the sides of a chilly street where the biting winter air managed to catch under the worn holes and ragged rips in his threadbare robes as he moved forwards, his head held low and his eyes directed downwards, following the light dusting of snow that covered the cracked brick sidewalk. One block. Two blocks. Three blocks. Passing several people, without the faintest of remarks or greetings to be heard. All usual, until there- out of the corner of his eye, he made the mistake of lifting his head, spotting something that caught him off-guard. An out-of-place red orange glow of heat that radiated out from a frosty pub window, and inside, a flash of a young man’s coy grin drew his glance. The clock jolted and he missed a step. He had to stop and remind himself to take a breath. One step. Two steps. It took him a minute, but he always managed to set himself back again. The face was not the one he knew. The memory was not his. The winter was empty.

Rain poured down the panes of glass clouded over with age and neglect, and if he was to venture outdoors, he would find flowers in bloom again once more. Spring, the season of rebirth. Just another word. Remus turned the pages of a familiar yellowed book, the repetition helping to ease the shake in his hand, until a loud roar is heard from just outside. He found himself looking away from his reading and leaning towards the window without thought, even going so far as to cup his tired hands around his eyes, his surprisingly youthful face pressed up against the glass as if he were a child once again, waiting eagerly for a special surprise. The flash that followed was not one of a motorbike’s soft headlamp, though, but instead one belonging to the crack of lightning that sent sudden daggers of light through the room with a gray glow, holding the man captive for just a few seconds more in a mute state. Back and forth the hands flew, before he jolted back from the old panes as if he had been licked by an open flame, burying his lined face in his hands, ragged breath uneven. It’s been years. It’s been years.

The summer was kinder, with it’s clear days, and calm, forgiving nights. From the kitchen window he could just barely make out the wooded area by the back of the house, and beyond that, the deep indigo of the night sky as it painted the world over once more with it’s breathtaking pattern of stars and constellations, only interrupted by the large and garish blotch of a moon. Weary from a long day’s work earning just enough to get by, he bent over the sink, washing clean a cracked plate and simple, off-white mug that he had found in a thrift shop. The room was quiet, except for the occasional creak and groan of the shabby house, which made each and every insignificant noise all the more evident. Turning off the tap, he found his breath hitching in when he glanced back up once more, finding himself greeted by the startlingly familiar image of a black dog darting off into the woods, most likely in response to a smaller animal which had moved in that direction only moments before. No, he has to remind himself. No. He had to forget. He had to remind himself that he was alone. Sirius, the last of his friends still alive, wouldn’t be coming back. He would never be coming back. Shutting his eyes for long enough, the hands of the clock that had willed themselves to stop and start and stop again once more are pushed on, as he forced himself to breath out, setting down the mug that he hadn’t realized was clutched tightly between fingers pale as bones. He had to forget.

Autumn was full of memories. Each season was, he supposed, but autumn in particular was set aside from the rest, for vastly different reasons. It was funny how time did that to him, he found. To understand and actually come to terms with the fact that there were people and places and smells and sounds, which only minutes ago had seemed to live and breath in full color and liveliness, that now only existed as a distant memory and a date in a book to others. No, this was something that Remus didn’t think he’d ever get used to. The dates in these books also placed some of his most precious and favorite memories alongside the ones that he wished he could erase over again and again, a curious and horrible reality and twist in fate. The burnt red of a falling leaf just like her hair, the laugh in the hazel eyes of a bespeckled young man as he passes him by just like the one he had grown so accustomed to hearing on the breeze. All of it, while now faded and grey, was still just as fresh in his mind as if it happened yesterday. Autumn was full of memories.

Tea and thinking, he found, often went together quite nicely. As he sat down by the window inside a small cafe, a personal favorite of his now over the years of solitary life, as it seemed to be less occupied than most and had simple servers who didn’t mind how long he stayed, Remus found himself glancing out at the dewy grass and crooked faces carved into the pumpkins that lined the steps, with children eagerly huddled up in groups and giggling with wide, hopeful grins. Later that evening he would force himself to visit the large stone grave set by Godric’s Hollow as he did each year on this day, and then the other, where what little that had remained of Peter had been buried. He took a sip of his tea and held the cup tightly, letting the sides of the steaming mug press against his scarred, rough skin, burning until the area around it went numb, a feeble attempt to warm the chill that would never leave his tired bones. He was always cold these days. Paying respects, he supposed, is what these visits were, though he wasn’t sure how that could be so. They were gone, not lingering around waiting for some wasted-away old friend to come by and sit for a chat. The dreaded day would stretch on, until at last Remus would find himself once again alone at night, another year gone by, feeling sleep in his eyes but a painful ache in his chest that would never be soothed by rest.

He paced around in the darkened room again and again, alongside the incessant ticking of a clock like a guide, the need to move forwards gnawing inside his fatigued form, a deep rooted effort to escape everything and anything that harbored pain and yet also held him captive so entirely by it’s beauty and potential. It was a difficult balance, this game that he played at. He moved until his weary bones aged far beyond their years could move no more, leaving him to sink back and lay down at last, relaxing into the eerie chill, the lines between life and death blurring all the while as the alcohol set in at last. However much he liked to pretend, this was his coffin, as the sole survivor amongst a family of the dead. He must be the one to remember. He must hurt. He must live. That is the burden he was made to carry.

[requiescatinpacerp-archived]

“He’s like a book; he has this smell of an adventure, and every day with him is a cliffhanger.”

James Potter

Affiliation: The Order

Age: Eighteen

Availability: CLOSED

Faceclaim:  Grant Gustin

+ Honest + Ambitious + Dedicated - Arrogant - Conceited - Impatient

James Potter was born lucky. That’s what everyone said, he was the only child and his parents were older making him their pride and joy. Coming with that meant that he was often given whatever he wanted, that didn’t mean he was a bad kid. Just a bit spoiled and used to finding ways to get around things. Most would say he was a very clever storyteller. James could weave a lie so well that often times he himself believed it. Being a pureblood meant a lot of things, it meant tradition and status. He’d never cared for any of it preferring to be a rebel even at a young age. He rebuked the norms of his society, who had the right to tell him who he could hang around with. The right kids? Who cared as long as they were fun. Often times his parents left him at home in the care of others while they did their best to maintain their foothold. After all, Potter was such a common muggle name. It wasn’t as if he didn’t have friends growing up, the Meadowes twins were constant companions from so far back he couldn’t remember not having them in his life. The twins were almost like siblings for him, stalwart companions. While he was close to Roland, it was Dorcas that became his best friend. She challenged him to come up with bigger and better stories, to push himself and to become better. He was charismatic, he could make just about anyone listen to him and that forced him to butt heads a lot with the classic breed of the sacred tweny-eight. His parents didn’t approve of their use of Dark Magic and the whispers of how they all sided with the Dark Lord and wished for purity. James just didn’t like them regardless, too stuffy, too stuck up, far too set in their ways for a free spirit like James Potter to bother with. After all, why should he have too? School began and he was buzzing from it, the first ride into the train with a quiet car. Across from him sat another pureblood he’d seen around. He’d known of Sirius Black but his mother’s refused to have anything to do with the Blacks had him curious. Even as a boy he was more brave than he was smart, starting a conversation with the Black heir and asking him questions. They were of like minds, hitting it off almost immediately  Two rebels without a cause. Sorting was a breeze, he was glad his new best mate was in the same house along with Dorcas Meadowes who’d found her own group. He was surprised to find that his new best mate and old one knew one another, more than happy to chat with them about anything under the sun. As the year rolled on he jumped in to make two other friends, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. Both loners that didn’t seem to have any friends, for James that was simply inexcusable. Quiet and dedicated, Remus and the withdrawn and unbelievably smart Peter became part of his group. He introduced them to Sirius, drawing the four together. He didn’t realize that he was saving them all, to him it was just what needed to be done. It was their second year when he realized something was up with Remus. He noticed him sneaking out of the dormitory without the rest of them which seemed out of character. After all he was usually the one telling them it was a bad idea before sighing and going along so they didn’t get into more trouble. One night he used the invisibility cloak his father had given him as part of his inheritance to go and follow him. Sirius was game but Peter resisted before finally giving in to make sure they other two didn’t get caught. That night they found out the secret that Remus had wanted to keep and when he returned to the dorms that night, James himself confronted him about it. Not wanting to push too hard James told him that it didn’t matter that he got a big furry during the full moon, they were still his best mates. Sirius come up with a plan that night, since Remus was a wolf if they were all animals they could keep him company and Peter piped in about how it might take some time but they could figure out the spells. After all it was far beyond their skill level as second years. When he noticed Lily Evans for the first time he’d thought she was too loud and a bit stuck on herself for a muggleborn. But the more he got to know her the more he found that he enjoyed her as a friend, then– a crush. It didn’t take him long to hate her best friend, Severus Snape. Not just because Lily smiled at him and that made him angry, but he has taken James best childhood friend Dorcas as well. It infuriated him, so with Sirius’ help he tormented him. James had never considered himself a bully, not really– he was just showing “Snivellus” his place. But as time went on and Lily started to give him the time of day he realized that he was being a bigger prat than he was willing to admit. It happened after he pants’d Severus in front of the entire class, he thought it was a laugh. He didn’t realize the implications. There were things that mattered more to other people, but when Lily agreed to go steady with him he was over the moon. She’d had problems with Snape, they weren’t friends anymore and while he felt a sense of victory, he also felt bad for the girl he was falling head over heels in love with. So when he found out that Sirius was going to pull one hell of a prank their 6th year, James had to do something. He saved Snape, and it changed the way he saw his best mate. The four that had been so united in everything were a little fractured with mistrust. After graduation he’s found himself surrounded by friends and still dating Lily Evans. Not wanting to waste time with a war brewing around them, he’s learning a lot about himself and his friends.  He’s the leader, it’s his job to unite them.

THE MARAUDERS: Best Friends - It was easy to describe The Marauders, they’re his best mates and he would do anything for them. He would never turn his back, he would do anything to help them in life, no matter what the problem,

LILY EVANS: Girlfriend - James knew that he put a lot of his faith into Lily. It wasn’t intentional but someday’s it felt like she was one of few reasons he had to live. He would do whatever it took to make her proud and to make the world safe for her.

SEVERUS SNAPE: Friends - Lily forgiving Severus was a step in the right direction and there was nothing that he wouldn’t do for the woman that he loved. Aside from that his growth as a person made it possible for him to apologize for the wrong doings and from there James Potter and Severus Snape made a hesitant friendship. Thus hell froze over.

DORCAS MEADOWES: Childhood Best Friends - There isn’t a time he doesn’t remember knowing Dorcas Meadowes, she nudged his competitive side, she gave him hell when he deserved it and they stayed friends through think and thin, arguments and angry shouting. She’s the sister he never had, like her brother is the brother he never had.

POSSIBLE ALTERNATE FCS: Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Nat Wolff

[lostinthedark-rp]

“He’s like a book; he has this smell of an adventure, and every day with him is a cliffhanger.”

James Potter

Affiliation: The Order

Age: Eighteen

Availability: OPEN

Faceclaim:  Grant Gustin

+ Honest + Ambitious + Dedicated - Arrogant - Conceited - Impatient

James Potter was born lucky. That's what everyone said, he was the only child and his parents were older making him their pride and joy. Coming with that meant that he was often given whatever he wanted, that didn't mean he was a bad kid. Just a bit spoiled and used to finding ways to get around things. Most would say he was a very clever storyteller. James could weave a lie so well that often times he himself believed it. Being a pureblood meant a lot of things, it meant tradition and status. He'd never cared for any of it preferring to be a rebel even at a young age. He rebuked the norms of his society, who had the right to tell him who he could hang around with. The right kids? Who cared as long as they were fun. Often times his parents left him at home in the care of others while they did their best to maintain their foothold. After all, Potter was such a common muggle name. It wasn't as if he didn't have friends growing up, the Meadowes twins were constant companions from so far back he couldn't remember not having them in his life. The twins were almost like siblings for him, stalwart companions. While he was close to Roland, it was Dorcas that became his best friend. She challenged him to come up with bigger and better stories, to push himself and to become better. He was charismatic, he could make just about anyone listen to him and that forced him to butt heads a lot with the classic breed of the sacred tweny-eight. His parents didn't approve of their use of Dark Magic and the whispers of how they all sided with the Dark Lord and wished for purity. James just didn't like them regardless, too stuffy, too stuck up, far too set in their ways for a free spirit like James Potter to bother with. After all, why should he have too? School began and he was buzzing from it, the first ride into the train with a quiet car. Across from him sat another pureblood he'd seen around. He'd known of Sirius Black but his mother's refused to have anything to do with the Blacks had him curious. Even as a boy he was more brave than he was smart, starting a conversation with the Black heir and asking him questions. They were of like minds, hitting it off almost immediately  Two rebels without a cause. Sorting was a breeze, he was glad his new best mate was in the same house along with Dorcas Meadowes who'd found her own group. He was surprised to find that his new best mate and old one knew one another, more than happy to chat with them about anything under the sun. As the year rolled on he jumped in to make two other friends, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. Both loners that didn't seem to have any friends, for James that was simply inexcusable. Quiet and dedicated, Remus and the withdrawn and unbelievably smart Peter became part of his group. He introduced them to Sirius, drawing the four together. He didn't realize that he was saving them all, to him it was just what needed to be done. It was their second year when he realized something was up with Remus. He noticed him sneaking out of the dormitory without the rest of them which seemed out of character. After all he was usually the one telling them it was a bad idea before sighing and going along so they didn't get into more trouble. One night he used the invisibility cloak his father had given him as part of his inheritance to go and follow him. Sirius was game but Peter resisted before finally giving in to make sure they other two didn't get caught. That night they found out the secret that Remus had wanted to keep and when he returned to the dorms that night, James himself confronted him about it. Not wanting to push too hard James told him that it didn't matter that he got a big furry during the full moon, they were still his best mates. Sirius come up with a plan that night, since Remus was a wolf if they were all animals they could keep him company and Peter piped in about how it might take some time but they could figure out the spells. After all it was far beyond their skill level as second years. When he noticed Lily Evans for the first time he'd thought she was too loud and a bit stuck on herself for a muggleborn. But the more he got to know her the more he found that he enjoyed her as a friend, then-- a crush. It didn't take him long to hate her best friend, Severus Snape. Not just because Lily smiled at him and that made him angry, but he has taken James best childhood friend Dorcas as well. It infuriated him, so with Sirius' help he tormented him. James had never considered himself a bully, not really-- he was just showing "Snivellus" his place. But as time went on and Lily started to give him the time of day he realized that he was being a bigger prat than he was willing to admit. It happened after he pants'd Severus in front of the entire class, he thought it was a laugh. He didn't realize the implications. There were things that mattered more to other people, but when Lily agreed to go steady with him he was over the moon. She'd had problems with Snape, they weren't friends anymore and while he felt a sense of victory, he also felt bad for the girl he was falling head over heels in love with. So when he found out that Sirius was going to pull one hell of a prank their 6th year, James had to do something. He saved Snape, and it changed the way he saw his best mate. The four that had been so united in everything were a little fractured with mistrust. After they graduated, not even a month after he married Lily Evans and he is still happily in the throws of the honeymoon period of their marriage. Not wanting to waste time with a war brewing around them, he's learning a lot about himself and his friends.  He's the leader, it's his job to unite them.

THE MARAUDERS: Best Friends - It was easy to describe The Marauders, they’re his best mates and he would do anything for them. He would never turn his back, he would do anything to help them in life, no matter what the problem,

LILY POTTER: Wife - James knew that he put a lot of his faith into Lily. It wasn’t intentional but someday’s it felt like she was one of few reasons he had to live. He would do whatever it took to make her proud and to make the world safe for her.

SEVERUS SNAPE: Enemies - One would think with as much as James had matured he would move on from hating Severus with such passion but it was impossible. For everything that Severus had done to James, it was worse that he had hurt Lily and until Lily forgave Severus he had a feeling that he would never move on from hating him.

DORCAS MEADOWES: Childhood Best Friends - There isn’t a time he doesn’t remember knowing Dorcas Meadowes, she nudged his competitive side, she gave him hell when he deserved it and they stayed friends through think and thin, arguments and angry shouting. She’s the sister he never had, like her brother is the brother he never had. 

ALTERNATE FC OPTIONS: Dylan O’Brian, Douglas Booth

[tediousoscars]

2016

Predict-o-meter: This year: 7/8; Total: 87/103 (84%)

It is not that unusual for a movie to get nominated that I had absolutely no interest in seeing and so have to drag myself to. It doesn’t happen every year, but typically no more that 3 or 4 years go by without it happening. Sometimes I am pleasantly surprised and end up loving the film (“The Social Network”), but more typically my worst fears are confirmed (“War Horse,” almost everything by Scorsese). However, I can’t recall a single year in which TWO movies were nominated that elicited not the slightest interest in me. Until this year. This year there were THREE. And while one of them did prove to be a pleasant surprise, the other two decidedly did not. I won’t say which ones, but see if you can tell from the reviews.

But before we get started we have to stop for a moment to give a shout out to Janelle Monáe and Mahershala Ali, who appear together in not one, but TWO films nominated for Best Picture: “Hidden Figures” and “Moonlight.” And while Mahershala was nominated for his strong work in “Moonlight,” it was Janelle who almost stole the show in “Hidden Figures.” Kudos!

Now let’s get to it.

- THE CONTENDERS -

Fences. Two towering performances from Denzel Washington and Viola Davis (both nominated - though how Davis’ role could be construed as Supporting rather than Leading is beyond me) are the pillars holding this wonderful film aloft. Set in 1950s Pittsburgh, “Fences” is the story of Troy Maxson (Washington), who is an extremely complicated man. Wracked by guilt over surviving on a pension his brother receives after suffering a head wound in the war that left him severely mentally challenged, frustrated over being a baseball star in the Negro Leagues just a few years before Jackie Robinson, and infuriated over the racism that holds a black ex-con down, there is a hardness about him that is undeniable. He says that the only good thing that ever happened to him was his wife Rose (Davis). But he is also an entertainingly loquacious storyteller, whom his best friend says must have a bit of Uncle Remus in him. Troy is an emotional storm with gale-force winds and churning seas. But Rose is the steadfast lighthouse, unflinching in the face of the tumult, always providing a beacon. Washington, who was also nominated for his directing, nicely captures the claustrophobia of the stage-play source material. Most of the action occurs in the two small downstairs rooms of their modest home, or in the backyard that is little more than a patio. We are exploring inner landscapes here. Troy’s snappy patter is entertaining enough to justify the price of admission, but the nuanced exploration of life and love, human strength and weakness, desire and motivation make this a masterpiece.

Hell or High Water. Part modern-day Western, part caper movie, part film noir, this movie is rollicking good fun. The Howard brothers are on a bank-robbing spree. With a purpose. They are robbing very specific banks to raise a very specific amount of money for a very specific reason. Because they only clear a few thousand dollars each time, and all of the banks are in the same state (Texas) the Feds have no interest in the case. So it falls to crusty old Marcus Hamilton, a Texas Ranger stereotypically weeks from retirement, and his half-Mexican, half-Indian partner Alberto Parker to run them to ground. Sounds simple, right? And it could have been, but Taylor Sheridan’s (nominated) screenplay is too smart for that. Ben Foster is sublime in the role of Tanner Howard, the ne’er-do-well, hell-raising ex-con brawn to brother Toby Howard’s brains. Tanner is a fuck up, and he knows it, but he is addicted to the adrenaline rush of the outlaw lifestyle. He sees this caper as his last chance to do something good (while still raising hell) by helping brother Toby (played by Chris Pine) save their father’s ranch and the newly-discovered oil there-under. Jeff Bridges was nominated for his role as Ranger Hamilton, which is essentially a reprisal of his role in “True Grit.” In fact, it is easy to imagine that Ranger Hamilton is the great grandson of Rooster Cogburn. The brothers’ scheme is ingenious, and hinges upon an epic (if not heroic) last stand by Tanner, and the coda in which Bridges’ Hamilton confronts Pine’s Toby to say that he knows Toby did it, but can’t prove it is pure bridled machismo.

Hidden Figures. There was a time, not that long ago, when the word ‘computer’ referred to a person, as in ‘someone who computes.’ During the early days of the space race, as an increasingly nervous America watched as Russia put first a satellite, then a dog, then a man into space, NASA employed quite a number of computers to check and re-check the calculations needed to determine the trajectories of spacecraft. These computers tended to be women, who today would be engineers, but at the time had no such option. And amongst these women were a cadre of ~20-30 black women stationed at Langley in Virginia, which at the time in the early 60s was still a segregated state. “Hidden Figures” is the triumphant story of these women and the incredible obstacles they had to overcome. The film focuses on three real-life figures: Mary Jackson (played by Janelle Monáe), a budding engineer, Dorothy Vaughn (Octavia Spencer in a nominated roled), who became an early specialist in the machines we now call computers, and particularly Katherine Johnson (played by Taraji Henson). The Space Task Group is charged with properly calculating the launch and (crucially) re-entry parameters for orbital human spaceflight. It is a pressure cooker run by a demanding taskmaster with a reputation of burning through computers on an almost weekly basis. When a need arises for an expertise in analytic geometry the East Area Computers (the white girls) have no suitable candidate, so they ask the ‘colored’ girls of the West Area Computers for help. Enter Katherine Johnson. She takes on the job with a brilliant mind and an indomitable spirit. She is clearly the smartest person in the room, and yet she has to run a half-mile across campus back to the West Area to use the bathroom because that’s the only place that has ‘colored’ rest rooms. In a bit of poetic justice near the end of the film, a white male engineer must make the same sprint to find her because John Glenn has demanded that Katherine personally verify the re-entry calculations after the IBM machine that replaced her delivered inconsistent results. This movie has indomitable human spirit, unbridled American patriotism (that refreshingly has nothing to do with war), and, of course, sharp lessons on Civil Rights history all wrapped up in a package that is just good, clean fun. You should really stop whatever it is you are doing right now and go see this film.

Lion. Like all little brothers, 5yo Saroo idolizes his older brother Gudu. They eke out a hardscrabble existence with their mother and baby sister in the back of beyond of rural India. They are desperately poor, and they know it, but they have a loving family and are generally happy. While trying to tag along with Gudu on his night job, Saroo becomes locked in an empty passenger car on a train being relocated cross country without stopping. Two days and 750 miles later, he is in the urban bustle of Calcutta, which might as well be a different planet since few people speak his native Hindi. After some harrowing adventures he winds up in an orphanage where he is adopted by a loving and earnest middle-class couple in Tasmania. Fast-forward 25 years, and the adult Saroo is seemingly well-adjusted and integrated into his adopted culture. While at a party at the house of some Indian friends he happens across a plate of jalebis, a dessert he had craved as a child but could never afford. This triggers a flood of memories from his lost childhood and launches him on an all-consuming and ultimately successful quest to find his birth mother. “Lion” is a wonderful film based on an amazing true story. And while it could have been a simple, manipulative tear-jerker, director Garth Davis delivers a film with impressive emotional complexity. Sunny Pawar is amazing as the young Saroo, and Dev Patel was nominated for his role as the adult Saroo, as was Nicole Kidman - in her native accent! - for her role as Sue, Saroo’s adoptive Australian mother. You’ll enjoy this long, harrowing journey, but keep your hanky handy for the eventual reunion between mother and son.

Moonlight. This is a coming-of-age story set in a world that John Hughes never imagined. If you had to sum up Chiron (aka “Little,” aka “Black”) in one word, that word would be ‘awkward.’ Growing up in a rough part of Miami with a missing father and a (literal) crack whore mother (Naomie Harris in a nominated role), bullied at school and unwelcome at home, 9yo Little’s life is characterized by constant fear, stress, and uncertainty. Little is sullen and withdrawn; the only kid who seems to understand him is Kevin, a breezy charmer, and the only remotely positive father figure he has is Juan (Mahershala Ali, also nominated), a crack dealer with a kind girlfriend who sort of unofficially adopts him. Fast-forward to the painfully awkward high school teen years: he now tries to go by his given name, Chiron, but has been dubbed Black by Kevin. Juan has been killed (though his girlfriend Teresa still lets Chiron crash when his mother has “company”), and the bullies are still omnipresent. To this point the film is not characterized so much by action, but rather by the seething, building tension associated with trying to constantly avoid action. Something’s gotta give. After a fumbling (dare I say awkward?) sexual encounter with Kevin the bullies force Kevin to beat Chiron up. This is the catalyst that causes Chiron to snap, leading to the sort of violent retributive outburst that makes movie audiences cheer, but lands young black men in jail. Fast-forward a decade. Now an adult, he has emerged from prison, moved to Atlanta, and adopted the persona – and the pimped-out ride – of Juan, and embraced Kevin’s nickname for him, Black. We see him making the rounds to check on his subordinate pushers and working out to maintain his thug life body. He is still sullen and withdrawn, but hard. This all changes with an unexpected phone call from Kevin, whom he hasn’t heard from since leaving Miami. In a truly breath-taking piece of acting, Trevante Rhodes – as the adult Black – brilliantly captures the mannerisms and even the intonations of the younger actors who play Little (Alex R. Hibbert) and Chiron (Ashton Sanders). We see a hardened criminal pick up the phone, but as soon as he hears Kevin’s voice subtle changes sweep over his face and he reverts – unconsciously and unintentionally – to the troubled, awkward youth he was. It is an Oscar-worthy performance, but unfortunately he does not get enough screen time to warrant a nomination. Overall this is a difficult film, but it is finely crafted, almost painfully heartfelt, and presents such a unique perspective that it is definitely worth the investment.

- THE PRETENDERS -

Arrival. This is a refreshing new take on the “alien invasion” genre. What is most unique is the aliens’ motivation behind their arrival, which I won’t give away but is fascinating. In fact, it’s difficult to discuss the plot at all without spoilers, but I will say that it’s timey wimey enough for the most ardent Doctor Who fan. Most of this movie is very well done. The aliens are extremely alien (Director Denis Villeneuve (nominated) understands that your imagination is always more frightening than reality, so he keeps his aliens shrouded in a thick fog and only fleetingly, partially visible) while the humans are annoyingly human (there’s a pretty standard schism between the “let’s talk to them” faction and the “blow them up” faction). An overall tone of realism is maintained so that the disbelief that must be willingly suspended is minimized, and the always-wonderful Amy Adams departs from her quirky, perky safezone to deliver a solid performance as a serious scientist. I do have a quibble, however. The entire plot of the film revolves around the written language of the aliens, which is so complex it seems almost magical. But the way in which the humans decipher it is given short shrift. There is boundless opportunity here for dramatic tension with the scientists making furtive steps, false starts, and brilliant breakthroughs, but it just sort of … happens. There’s not even a montage of long hours hunched over a computer or scribbling on a white board. Though this seems like a tragically missed opportunity it should not prevent you from enjoying this film that breathes new life into a fairly tired old genre.

Hacksaw Ridge. This is an extremely mediocre movie about an extremely fascinating and compelling true story. Desmond Doss (Andrew Garfield in a nominated role) was the first conscientious objector to be awarded the Medal of Honor for his efforts as an unarmed medic during the battle of Okinawa in WWII. After confronting his drunken father (who was beating his mother) with a pistol, Desmond makes a promise to God to never touch a gun again. This conviction is challenged when his patriotism compels Desmond to enlist after the attack on Pearl Harbor. Despite his intentions of being a medic his superior officers try to force Desmond to train with a rifle during basic training. His steadfast refusal leads to hazing, beatings, and nearly lands him in prison. He is eventually allowed to serve, and after his battalion is chased off the titular ridge Doss remains behind alone and drags 75 wounded men to safety while constantly dodging enemy soldiers. The problem with the film is that every aspect is hyper-romanticized, from the rough-housing of the Doss brothers as boys, to the too-cute-by-half courtship of Desmond and his wife-to-be. Even the drunken excesses of his father seem cliche and rote. The Japanese are depicted as unstoppable killing machines with neither souls nor honor (who knew director Mel Gibson (nominated) had issues with racial stereotypes?) and the battle scenes are shot in operatic slow motion in which even the blood and the mud are made to look Just Right. Garfield’s turn as Doss is strong, but I’m not sure it’s Oscar-worthy, and there are also a couple strong performances by actors playing against type: Hugo Weaving is convincingly tortured as the drunken father, and Vince Vaughn is surprisingly good as the obligatory tough-as-nails sergeant. Overall the film is watchable and the story is almost strong enough to overcome the directorial flaws. But not quite.

La La Land. This is a starry-eyed love letter to Los Angeles, both the physical city and the dreams of success and stardom that inhabit it. The story is engaging and well-crafted, the sumptuous cinematography makes it look as though the entire film was shot during the Golden Hour, and the acting is superb. The scenes in which Emma Stone – as struggling actress Mia – auditions for various roles are tours de force. The film is also an adoring homage to the MGM musicals of the 50s, and herein lies the problem: Stone and co-star Ryan Gosling can’t sing or dance. I mean, they’re not tone deaf and club-footed or anything, but neither of them could make the chorus line of the worst show on Broadway. The singing is at the level of a high school musical (no, not “High School Musical”), and as for dancing, if they were on Dancing with the Stars they would not be expected to survive past the third episode. But no one seems to care! I even read one review that claimed that this was a clever choice because their characters aren’t stars … yet! Excuse me, but generally talent leads to fame, not the other way around. It’s a shame because there really is a lot to love about this movie. If you can overlook this (glaring, obvious) flaw you will really enjoy it. But that thumping sound you’ll hear is Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers whirling dervishly in their graves.

Manchester by the Sea. We are introduced to Lee Chandler as a socially-maladapted loaner with anger management issues. Severe anger management issues. As the story unfolds we learn through flashbacks that Lee - played with understated intensity by Casey Affleck (nominated) - was once the epitome of the happily-married, blue-collar father, until tragedy struck. Unimaginable, life-shattering tragedy. That is the past, which informs the present, but the current tragedy is the sudden - but not totally unexpected - death of Lee’s brother Joe from a congenital heart condition. This leaves Lee as the guardian of his 16yo nephew, Patrick, a role for which (he is self-aware enough to understand) he is completely unsuited. What follows is an hour or so of stressful bickering as two guys who have suffered loss and who have feelings that they can’t comprehend, much less express, try to live together. In the end Lee manages to extract himself from the situation more or less gracefully, and return to his previous life. Still socially-maladapted, still a loner, but perhaps with slightly less severe anger management issues. The film is well acted, director Kenneth Lonergan (nominated) manages the pacing and the flashbacks skillfully, and the muted lighting captures the quiet desperation of New England in winter perfectly. But Lee’s character does not move an inch through the narrative: he is exactly the same person at the beginning and end of the film. And the film’s central tenet - that blue-collar guys in New England are not in touch with their feelings - is hardly revelatory.

So which SHOULD win?

I really loved all of the films in the Contenders category above, but Hidden Figures stands out as the one that not only elicited the most complex emotional response, but also the only one that I really want to watch again. Seriously go see it.

But which WILL win?

Though it boggles my mind, La La Land looks like a shoo-in for Best Picture. I really just don’t get it. Moonlight is a dark horse here, but is running a very distant second.

Best Actress - Emma Stone for La La Land. Note that it isn’t for Best Singer.

Best Actor - This is an interesting race between Casey Affleck for Manchester by the Sea and Denzel Washington for Fences. In my mind Denzel gave a much stronger performance with much greater emotional range, but I think Casey Affleck will win.

Best Supporting Actress - Viola Davis wins going away for Fences. Well deserved.

Best Supporting Actor - Mahershala Ali for Moonlight.

Best Director - Damien Chazelle for La La Land. I mean, the DIRECTION didn’t suck.

Best Adapted Screenplay - Look for Moonlight to squeak in here.

Best Cinematography - La La Land. This is probably the only category that it actually deserves to win. It is gorgeous.

And that’s all I have time for because I am so late! Until next year …