#Remus does hate that motorbike

[lulublack90]

Prompt 22 - Rough

@wolfstarmicrofic January 22, word count 279

Opposite - Smooth

Remus had a love-hate relationship with Sirius’s motorbike. He loved how much joy it brought Sirius, but he hated the fact that it was a flying motorbike. It had been a rough trip the first time Sirius had taken him out on it. The bike had been jerky setting off, nearly unseating him, and when Sirius landed it, he was unseated. He was lucky that the ground was soft or he could have been badly hurt. 

He’d been cleaning in the garage when he’d stumbled and put his hand out to stop himself from falling. His hand hit the bike and somehow knocked it over. The sound of metal scraping on concrete was loud in the small area. 

He gritted his teeth as he pulled the heavy vehicle up from where it lay. On the side of the body was a huge scratch and scuff mark. Remus ran his fingers over it, feeling the rough texture beneath his fingers. Before he could even think about how to fix it, Sirius appeared. 

“Oh,” He said, frowning as he took in the damage. “You gave her a scar, Remus.” He touched the mark on his motorbike and withdrew his wand. 

“I’m so sorry, Sirius. It was an accident.” Sirius looked up, taking in the way Remus’s brow furrowed with worry. 

“It’s fine. Don’t worry, Remus, she’ll be good as new once I’m done with her.” Relief flooded through him, and he watched in awe as Sirius wiped away the scratch as if it were nothing. He had to admit he did such a good job that you wouldn’t have even known it had been there. He still hated that thing though. 

[celestemagnoliathewriter]

Sirius Black Appreciation Post

Time to celebrate Sirius Black's birthday by highlighting my favorite canon facts 🥳

Sirius is tall. We're talking at least 6'.

He's intelligent AF. He became an Animagus at 15. He charmed a Muggle motorbike to fly (Arthur couldn't do that with a car, Sirius did it in his late teens, latest at age 20). He escaped from Azkaban. He got a cat to order a racing broom. My man is brilliant, no doubt about it.

Sirius has a complicated relationship with his mother and it is *not* merely hatred. Note that he did not destroy his mother's portrait, or slash it as he did with the Fat Lady's. I'm confident that he could've figured out a way to destroy it or otherwise get rid of it, but he doesn't. His refuge is in his mother's old room with Buckbeak. There's something very complicated in his relationship with his family that can't be labeled as simple loathing. Sirius may have run away from home at 15/16, but his background 100% shaped him and left its mark on his personality and psyche.

Sirius was good friends with Lily. The letter from Lily to Sirius is great proof of that - it wasn't James who wrote that letter, but LILY. Sirius was smiling and genuinely happy at Jily's wedding.

Sirius is emotionally driven, and lashes out *with good reason.* When he goes after Wormtail the night the Potters died, it's because Harry is taken away from him. He has nothing to hold him down - and even gives his motorbike to Hagrid. When he tries to get to Wormtail in PoA, he slashes the portrait but doesn't harm a single boy in his search for the rat. When he goes to the Department of Mysteries, his focus is on Harry. These are good reasons, even if it puts him in danger.

Sirius has a great sense of humor. He puts little Santa hats on the decapitated elf heads. He chases pigeons as Padfoot just to make Harry smile. He sends a good luck note with a muddy paw print. He is scathingly funny, when he derides Peter's hero worship of James in Snape's Worst Memory. He's bitter and sarcastic. We love to see it.

Sirius is a baby boomer. He was born in 1959. "Ok, boomer," is an applicable retort.

Sirius is not misogynistic. He does not hate women. He is often kinder to women than men. He helps Ginny up in OoTP. No matter how angry he gets at Molly, he is never, ever physical with her (unlike the way Sirius is with snape, who he does get physically aggressive with). He is kind to Hermione. He had a great relationship with Lily. Even in the end, his last words to Bellatrix are 'you can do better than that.'

Sirius does not have a canonical love interest.

Sirius is willing to challenge Dumbledore. This is an important point - with so many people deferring to Dumbledore's judgment, including Remus, the Weasleys, and Harry - Sirius will challenge him and his decisions. He may not get his way, but Sirius has the personal strength and confidence to challenge one of the greatest wizards of all time.

Sirius was great with animals. Crookshanks and Buckbeak are prime examples of this.

Sirius is deeply flawed: he can get very intense. He can be rash, even if he has good reasons. He can be bitter to the point of hurting others ('the risk would've made it fun for James'). He can be cruel and condescending (my robes have enough filth without you touching them/wormail will piss himself with excitement). He can be callous (wishing it was the full moon, sending Snape on a potentially deadly adventure). He's a hurricane of deep, complex emotions.

Canon Sirius would obliterate fanon Sirius.

Happy birthday, Sirius. You would've loved James Sirius, Albus Severus, and Lily Luna. You'd have had the time of your life at Hinny's wedding. You are an absolute king.

[lexithwrites]

what r ur wolfstar/jegulus/rosekiller hc’s?

You’ve opened a can of worms enjoy:

Wolfstar:

- Sirius does the talking for the both of them

- Sirius is more aggressive verbally but Remus is more physically aggressive

- Remus is just as kinky as Sirius if not more he just never talks about it

- Remus is the only person Sirius can go non verbal around (autistic/adhd Sirius rise)

- They shower together and it’s usually not sexual it’s just to save time

- Remus is the cook/baker of the relationship whilst Sirius is the cocktail/drink maker

- they host a lot of dinner parties

- they bicker constantly but never fight

- Remus’ safe word is butterfly and Sirius’ is cantaloupe (he thought it sounded funny)

- Remus had a big breeding kink but it’s less about actually getting someone pregnant and more the intimacy of it, being that connected to someone gets him going

- Sirius has tics like twitching his head and drumming his fingers

- Remus has black coffee and Sirius only drinks iced lattes filled with caramel syrup

- Sirius has a motorbike and Remus has a car (Sirius is a passenger princess and Remus is a backpack)

- they get married asap

Jegulus:

- they take weeks off every year to stay at the potter’s holiday home (probably somewhere like Italy)

- regulus insults everyone BUT James

- James can’t cook very well but he loves making regulus breakfast in bed because he always forgets

- it took regulus a long time to be comfortable with sex due to past relationships but James is so patient and legit doesn’t care about sex unless his partner is interested

- personal opinion don’t hate me, but James is a service top and I’ll die on that hill

- regulus is a power bottom and likes having control most of the time (he loves tying James up)

- it’s rare for James to bottom but when he’s in the mood regulus uses all their toys on him

- they have three cats (all siblings because James didn’t want to separate them)

- effie and Monty have biweekly dinners with them

- regulus has a j behind his ear and James has an r on his thumb

- they have promise rings but aren’t too fussed about getting married but they talk about it

- a lot of pride flags in their apartment

- James taught regulus how to drive

- James has to remind regulus not to have dairy because he’s lactose but that doesn’t stop him

- regulus exclusively drinks matcha and James is a hot chocolate boy

Rosekiller:

- they’ve never said they’re dating but they’re together duh

- barty has evan’s bite marks tattooed on him

- evan has a b tattooed on his left ass cheek

- they live in a studio and it’s basically a hot box room

- neither of them drive

- when they go out drinking barty gets beer or cider and Evan only drinks spirits with a mixer

- barty has a pet rat called Rosie

- evan loves him

- barty and Pandora are best friends and Evan has seen them painting the others nails

- evan does Barty’s hair for him, he’s never gone to a hair salon

- barty loves pain, like a lot, so they’re very kinky

- evan is usually in charge and Barty is usually tied down in some way, or gagged, or blindfolded

- evan had quite bad panic attacks at night and barty is the only person who calms him down besides pandora

- evan has a cockwarming kink and barty is more than happy to participate

- evan has a cooperate job whilst barty works in some gross bar

- they host the house parties

- barty has been arrested about three times

- evan is more possessive out of the two

- barty does his own piercings and tattoos

[petalsthefish]

Taylor Swift Boys And Their Corresponding Harry Potter Characters - A Summary

***For insurance purposes this is a joke

Joe Jonas: Gildroy Lockhart - arrogant. Fumbles his career. Toxic AF when he doesn’t get his way.

Tom Hiddleston: Remus Lupin. - Can play a cocky bastard but is actually a cinnamon roll. Will bring you home to meet his mother on the third date. Definitely a bottom.

Taylor Lautner: Harry Potter - sweet. Athletic. Hero complex. Marries a girl who had posters of him in her room growing up.

John Mayer: Voldemort. - Has googled how to stay young. Doesn’t believe in true love. Will send his lawyers after you if you use his name publicly shaming him.

Drew: Ludo Bagman. - very basic. Childhood crush. Pretty Forgettable. Probably became head of finance or something idk.

Jake Gyllenhaal: Fenrir Greyback - a little too hairy. Smells girls’ scarves. Self inflicted bad guy syndrome. Does not own a toothbrush.

Conner Kennedy: Neville Longbottom - pure blood trust fund baby. Can’t do long distance. Loves his grandmother. Not the most handsome, or the most smart, but he does have a heart.

Harry Styles: Sirius Black. - owns a motorbike. Tattoos everywhere. Every one loves him. Loyal AF.

Calvin Harris: Peter Pettigrew. - Can’t keep a secret. Can’t share credit on projects. Hangs with cool people but isn’t actually very cool.

Joe Alwyn: Severus Snape - social skills are zero. Hates having photos taken. His crush was too cool for him. Will die mad about it.

Matty Healy: Stan Shunpike - has a sailors mouth. Never shuts up. Needs a smoke break right now. Acne problem, probably.

Travis Kelce: James Potter. - football team colors are red and gold. Hosts a podcast with his brother where they joke around for hours. Crushed on the same woman for years before she finally started dating him.

[cosmic-comet-19]

Remus and Sirius

Remus Lupin is:

self conscious

chocolate lover to the point of chocolate gatekeeper

oversized jumpers

mugs of tea

tall and gangly (limbs everywhere)

curls of golden brown hair that make Sirius stare

scars everywhere (damn that rhymed)

long fingers

smart af

the 'responsible one' but actually isn't

a werewolf so hates himself

new at love and friendship - the marauders were the first family he had

grumpy in the mornings (Sirius knows)

a hard ass

confused as to why people would care about him

but Sirius won't hear any rants about him being 'a monster' ("You wear fluffy socks, Moony. Respectfully shut up.")

irritable around full moons (senses are heightened) and Sirius will absolutely murder anyone who raises their voice

Sirius Black is:

confident, but only because he's faked it for so long

now it's real

charismatic (boy does Remus know)

charming

an absolute flirt

his "don't care attitude" was his defence mechanism at Grimmauld Place so now it is his personality

rebellious

silver earrings

simp for Remus John Lupin

curly black hair

motorbikes

eloquence

definitely fluent in French (Remus loves it sm)

always acting out (seeing how far he can push people before they don't push back anymore)

similar to Remus, he was relatively new at love and friendship before the marauders - except Reggie ofc

James is his absolute ride or die

would do anything for his friends because they are his family

he is fiercely loyal to the last

can't stand by and watch bad things happen (bullying, the war, the wrong person taking the blame)

[sergeantflick]

More (random) Wolfstar Headcanons

- Remus has chronic iron deficiency. He can't get up quickly without almost passing out.

- Sirius can't sing. He does so anyway. Especially serenading Remu.

- Remus wraps gifts so beautifully and adds little decorations like little trinkets, tiny origami stars, or notes to them.

- with Sirius, you're lucky if it isn't last week's Daily Prophet for wrappers...

- collective puzzle nights at the Lupin/Black household. Surprisingly, Sirius developed a thing for puzzles and does them as Remus is reading. Remus occasionally helps him and slowly, but surely it becomes a habit. James and all the others make fun of it but then take pleasure in joining them.

- after 40, Remus will need glasses to read. (He loses them all the time but finds them in the weirdest spots like the fridge, the nesting box in the garden,...)

- Them taking baths together.

- Sirius loves Titanic. And he reinacts it all the time.

- Sirius is the jumper thief, Remus is the blanket thief

- They have heated arguments but can't stay angry with each other for one minute after.

- Books everywhere. Little stacks, big stacks. On the oven, in the hall, in the bathroom... it's comfy chaotic.

- Sirius gets nasty migraines sometimes and Remus helps him through them. He'll carry him to bed, makes sure he drinks enough, will literally brew a potion against the pain in their backyard.

-Remus hates the motorbike. He swears, Sirius will get himself killed on this thing.

- They will return to ☆the beach☆ for holidays. They'll get a little cottage with sea view. Remus loves to read at the beach and Remus goes swimming. (Nobody's there so Remus will be shirtless...)

- Reggie is a regular guest at their house and so comfy as if he lives there. He'll empty their fridge before saying hello. They are his emotional support system. (Regulus lives, leave me alone)

-they take in a little stray cat. They let Reggie name it. (It's Persephone.)

[ravenoclock]

@labyrinthhofmymind

A continuation of updates abt presque vu. Spoilers included. Italics are quotes from the fic itself. I apologize for not updating for a few days, I’ve been a bit busy.

CHAPTER NINE

Sirius is such a girlboss I swear. Androgynous royalty. Him being saying how they love confusion sm and making people confused like GET IT, LOVE. Also James being so supportive and being like ‘is it comfortable and how does it feel, etc’ is so cute. Love them.

The emmary :( idk what’s going on there but I feel so bad for them.

Oh, Remus, please like my knickers, please don't turn them into a joke, please like everything about me, even the things you don't understand, even the things you don't know, even the things I don't either. This is what I am. Please take me as I am.

GAHHHHH.

Also Remus being like ‘I’ll like u in whatever u wear’ is so wholesome.

MARLENE AND SIRIUS’ FRIENDSHIP. BONDING. OVER. A. MOTORBIKE. THATS SO THEM.

"Pretty sure she knows I'm fucking Dorcas," Marlene says, gaze fixed on the wrench. "She hates it. Can you believe that? I kill people and she looks the other way, but I love a woman and she hates me."

That’s rly fucked up. I hate that Marls has to go through stuff like that. Side note, I’m imagining Marlene with her hair short asf and I just died. MARLS THE WOMAN YOU ARE.

Also Peter…poor boy. Ik he chose to betray them and all that but Sirius saying how Peter used to be rly lively and shit and now he’s just… nothing.

SIRIUS MAKING REMUS BLUSH. HE BLUSHED. I SCREAMED.

Today, Sirius is as much a man as he is a woman, both simultaneously, with no words to describe why it's that way, or what it feels like.

Is it weird to say I’m proud of him? Like, a few chapters before she didn’t even know what she was feeling and now they’re more comfortable with it and they’re fine with it. Idk. I just love it.

To Sirius, control is secrecy.

…speechless.

"You're a vision," Sirius croaks, struck stupid by it, by him. "Do you have any idea how lovely you are?"

WOLFSTAR WOLFSTAR WOLFSTAR WOLFSTAR WOLFSTAR I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR. DHAJAJJSJSJSHSNDKELKWKAJ I CANT.

Sirius still thinking Remus deserves better and that he’s not good enough for Remus actually makes me want to die because THEYRE MADE FOR EACH OTHER. MOLDED FROM THE SAME CLAY. CUT FROM THE SAME CLOTH. IDC WHAT CORNY SHIT I HAVE TO SAY TO PROVE THAT THEY ARE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER AND ITS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL THING AND I LOVE IT.

Someday, he will be silent more often than he is not. Someday, he will be unable to recall his mother's voice. Someday, he will only remember her scream.

FUCK OFF. WHYYYY.

It's unfortunate, really, that so few of them live long past the proof.

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

moving on to….CHAPTER TEENNNNN

HARRY MY BABY IS HEREEEEE AND SIRIUS IS LIKE ‘hmm I kinda understand why my parents hated me now’ lmao? I guess? Idk if I’m supposed to laugh?

Sirius would scamper out of her bedroom and rub her eyes with her fists and, half-asleep with a tiny yawn, she would reach out for her mother's hand and offer to walk with her. She would ask, on the few and far between nights where her mother actually let her small hand slip into hers, if she could give Regulus a hug, or tell him hello. And, occasionally, with a long suffering sigh like it was the end of the world, Walburga would hold Sirius' hand for a beat, then let go, then let Sirius do it.

OH MY FUCKING GOD. OH MY GOD. OH. MY. GOD.

"Merlin, your tears are contagious," Sirius informs Harry with a croaky whisper, not understanding why her eyes are suddenly streaming, why her chest feels like it's caving in.

;-; now I wanna cry. thx.

Harry, apparently, is chaos incarnate.

They love Harry so much they can't shut up about it.

THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO STAY FAMILY. ALL LF THEM. LIKE THIS. FOREVER. COMPLAINING ABT HARRYS CHAOS AND BEING EXHAUSTED FROM TAKING CARE OF HIM, LATCHING ON TO EVERY LITTLE THING HE DID BECAUSE THEY DESERVED IT. FAMILY. THEY WERE EACH OTHERS FAMILY AND THEN THEY WERENT. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY.

But that doesn't stop Sirius from wanting to hold Harry all the time. That doesn't stop her from begging Lily and James to let her come over so she can watch Harry breathe, which is a bit odd, but it's an impulse she can't resist. That doesn't stop her from wanting to feed Harry, or coo at him, or change his nappies and rock him to sleep and gasp in awe when he accidentally manages to grasp his own foot in his fist and fling his baby sock halfway across the room.

I CANT ENJOY THIS WHEN IK ITS A CANON COMPLIANT FIC.

All that is to say, Peter's awkward with Harry usually, unsure how to handle him, scared to hurt him. It's sweet and endearing, but his caution must read wrong to Harry, because he genuinely seems to throw a fit every time Peter tries to have anything to do with him. Maybe they need to bond. They haven't seemed to do that yet.

Harry knows…

Oh my god oh my god oh my god. SIRIUS WAKING UP REMUS CUZ EMMELINE IS HOLDING IS ARM IS HILARIOUS. REMUS BEING LIKE OH YEAH I LOVE YOY. SIRIUS BEING LIKE OH SHIT. WOLFSTAR MY LOVES.

Even lullabies can be lies sometimes.

So….whos paying for my therapy?

Oh my god. Lily laughing her ass off thinking Dumbledore’s lost his mind and James and Sirius being like ‘umm so who’s gonna tell her?’ And Remus agreeing with Lily but looking at Sirius and realizing she’s not fucking around. Sirius being like ‘it doesn’t fucking matter if you think the prophecy is bullshit, they won’t. they’ll come after your baby whether or not this prophecy is real.’ And Lily being like ‘oh shit you motherfucker now WHY would you say that?’

"She gets it now," James weeps, "and somehow that's worse."

Of course. There’s a saying I can’t quite remember for this kind of situation.

Zar’s metaphor for time and growing up… that’s my 10th life gone y’all.

Remus takes one look at him, and the fight doesn't even exist. They don't say they're sorry, and they don't talk about it anymore, and they simply let it fizzle into nothingness until all that's left is the way they hold each other.

…something tells me that’s kinda toxic. But wolfstar and communication don’t work rly well together. I wish they would just talk :(

It's the brightest part of Sirius' life, to be loved by that kid.

Christ on a Stick. I can’t do this today.

Later, Sirius will think about that tradition he heard about, the one that's almost a superstition, where you're not supposed to do anything strenuous or upsetting on New Years, or else you'll be stuck doing it all year following. It's meant for chores, usually, not for going without your best friend.

Jaw dropped. Tears cried. Screams scrumpt.

I feel a headache incoming so that’s all I’m reading for today. I finished chapter 10!!! Apparently there’s some time for me to prepare for what happens in 1981 so I’m very thankful for that but I don’t think I’ll ever be fully ready :( anywho sorry that it’s a bit shorter this time but yeah! those r my thoughts for chapters 9 & 10 of presque vu. Have a great day :)

[impishtubist]

I think we've discussed this but I need more chaos: what do Sirius and Teddy do for pride? either the parade or the month generally 😇

I know I've answered this before and I have absolutely no idea what I said, so we're starting with a fresh slate here:

I think Teddy's way more into it than Sirius is! He's going to festivals with his friends, and all the Pride events throughout the month, and all the parties he can find. He makes out with different people sometimes, too, but never anything more than that. Sirius is cool with it, because he knows that Teddy always comes home to him, and frankly, trying to keep up with a 20-year-old is exhausting.

Sirius isn't super into the whole Pride things. He hates crowds and people that aren't the Potters or the Lupins. Sure, he'll go out to a club or party with Teddy now and then, grind against him on a dance floor and then take him home for some marathon sex, but it's not super often. He's happy to let Teddy do his thing throughout the month and he spends his time working on his motorbike or spoiling the grandkids.

Teddy does get him to come to the parade, though. Teddy goes all out with his outfit and his hair. Sirius is more reserved, maybe putting some pins on his leather jacket, but he's happy to make out with Teddy in public or hold his hand or sling an arm around his waist. The wizarding tabloids get some photos of them and Remus sulks about it for like a week. He can't even have a sad wank about how hot his ex looks in leather because his son is also in the photos :(

[titstraction]

for the writing ask wolfstar number 7

hi hello love number 7!!

a kiss to shut them up

Sirius charms a stardust trail from the Potters' to the Lupin's. He has tried starting this letter a million times now, and September is not for another three weeks, and the Lupin's are not connected to the Floo, so. Kickstarting his motorbike as the sun sets and flying there it is.

He is a good wizard. The bike is steadier than a broom, equally as reliable, and he knows its engine. No grains of sand in the cogs of his machine, and it is Mia-Potter-approved, so. He knows Hope is going to get a kick out of it too. Just as he knows Remus is going to hate it.

So the landing is a little bumpy, big deal. Next time he will cut on speed a little before, no skin off his nose.

"What the fuck", from the window, and then, louder. "What the fuck, Sirius!!?!"

Sirius plasters a grin on his face and looks up, shrugging. The summer sun is kind on Remus, makes him tan, more freckled, his hair lighter.

"That's it, you've gone and lost it, now", Remus huffs as he climbs up the stone wall. "Underage, on the run, traveling across fucking Britain on a death machine"

"Nice to see you too, Moons", he retorts as he flings his legs over the window, easy smile not betraying his nervousness.

Because Remus and him haven't been alone the two of them in a while, and Remus' room is just - personal, in a way Sirius' cold room at grim old certainly wasn't but neither is James' room at his parents, where he spends most of his time outside or in the living room, and his room is mostly for storage. No, Remus room is lived in, from the posters on the walls to his stereo and his 8 track tapes, a disarray of clothes everywhere and rubbish he couldn't magically vanish, like candy wrapper and roaches in an ashtray. It's a belt on the floor and a table full of counterculture magazines and daydreams of his own he wrote down, and Sirius feels at once overwhelmed and enamored and undeserving.

He is still going on about safety concerns: "And what the fuck is that on my porch, where did you even get it, and please, for the love of all things holy, please tell me you didn't make it yourself. Please tell me there is someone out there with the same mental shortcomings as you. That thinks it acceptable to break a hundred secrecy statutes and a bunch of decrees for reasonable restriction to, like, glide into Wales in a fucking flying bathtub -"

So Sirius plants one on him. Lifts himself on his tippy toes and kisses him right on that beautiful, tireless mouth. To shut him up.

And shut up he does, though he also freezes, hands empty at his sides instead of taking hold of Sirius, lips unmoving.

Sirius drops to his heels and turns around, silently cursing at himself. Because this was categorically not what he was supposed to do. He meant to come here and fix things. Reassure Remus, explain, talk it out, clean it up. Regain trust again even if through pity. He was not supposed to make things messier. He keeps forgetting they don't do that anymore.

"My owl hovered around you for four days, you asshole", Remus says, grabbing him by his elbow and turning him back around, pulling him close, flush against his body. Sirius just about melts, face buried in Remus' jumper and his smell, woodwork and clever charms. He raises a tentative hand to his back, and Remus rests his chin on the top of his head. "You idiot. You can't just - show up, with no warning and a summer of silence, and - and kiss me"

"You were talking my ear off", he explains, quiet and mellow, tightening his hold on Remus.

"What happened?" Remus asks, lifting his chin with a warm hand and kissing him instead of making him answer. "Are you hurt?", he asks before another kiss, "did they hurt you?", but Sirius just grips a handful of jumper and opens his mouth to it, "You're okay, yeah?"

"Yeah", he whispers. He thinks if he is kissed enough he might be.

Remus slides his leather jacket off his shoulders, and Sirius backs him into the bed. En route, Remus grabs a cassette with Pads scribbled on it, and slides it in his stereo.

[messers-moony]

The Only One for Me | S.B

Paring: Young!Sirius Black X Wife!Reader

Summary: Sirius runs a cafe called Mischief Managed with his friends and sometimes his wife helps him out.

Word Count: 2K

Prompt: Participating in their hobby even if it doesn’t personally interest you.

Maybe it was the wrong place and the wrong time. Y/n had just walked into a coffee shop where her husband was working with his friends. Sirius decided it would be a good idea. He made coffee, James made typical kitchen food, and Remus prepared bakery sweets.

“You are an asshole, Sirius Black!”

A woman had thrown a cup of coffee at the male at the counter. It was scalding hot coffee, and it was now dripping from Sirius’ raven hair. James was too busy in the back to be shocked, but Remus’ jaw had dropped to the floor. Sirius sighed and watched as the woman left the cafe, bumping into Y/n as she exited.

Sirius smiled, looking mildly annoyed, both hands plastered on the edge of the counter, “Hello, darlin’.”

“Hi, Siri.” Y/n replied as she walked into the busy cafe where people were staring in shock.

With a stretch of his hand, he slicked his hair back with the sticky, hot liquid, “What would you like?”

“For you to take a shower?” Y/n retorted, and Remus chuckled, “No can do, sweetheart. A man's gotta work to keep you living under a roof.” Sirius tapped her nose.

“We both know my job could take care of us.”

“And we both know I don’t like doing nothing.”

Y/n sighed, “Go home. Take a shower. I’ll take over.”

Remus allowed her behind the counter, and Sirius placed a sticky kiss on her cheek, “You don’t have any meetings?”

“No.” Y/n replied, placing her hair out of her face, “Now go. You’re sticky.”

Sirius took off his apron and left it behind the counter. He blew her one last kiss in thanks and left. Y/n sighed and began washing cups. Remus smirked. Y/n always talked about hating the cafe most days. When in reality, she paid for it. Y/n’s job paid for its bills and the supplies. The restaurant did alright by itself but never enough to keep it standing.

“Having you around doesn’t hurt, you know?”

Y/n smiled, “Thanks, Rem.”

James came bounding out of the kitchen minutes later, “Where’d Pads go?”

“Home.” Y/n replied as she washed a mug, “Some woman threw her coffee on him. I told him I’d take his shift.”

“Well, aren’t you just an amazing wife?”

Y/n scoffed, “Tell me about it.”

“You’re also an amazing friend.” James said honestly, “There wouldn’t be Mischief Managed without you.”

“Thank you, James.” She kissed his cheek politely.

A man came into the cafe. His hair was golden blond. His eyes were electric blue, and he was lanky like Remus. He was wearing a professional suit and tie. His strides were long and confident. When he made it to the counter, he gave Y/n a breathtaking smile.

“Mornin’, sir. Welcome to Mischief Managed. What can I whip up for you today?”

The man smirked, “What’s your favorite, pretty girl?”

Remus and James stared wide-eyed, “Well, my husband makes a mean brown sugar cappuccino.”

The words didn’t seem to deter him, “Then I’ll take a brown sugar cappuccino for Nik.”

“Perfect.” Y/n remarked.

James and Remus pretended not to see the interaction as they both went back to work. Y/n moved over to the espresso machine with a huff. This was normal. It didn’t take long to finish the drink. Carefully she placed a lid on the cup and put it on the counter.

“Nik!”

He approached the counter, placing ten pounds on it and smiling, “Thanks, sweetheart.”

After watching him leave the cafe, Y/n turned back to the other men working beside her, “That’s why I don’t work here full time.”

“As if that doesn’t happen at your job.” Remus snorted.

“It does, but it’s not as gross.” Y/n replied, cleaning the machines, “They compliment my work and my attitude, not watch me like I’m some form of prey.”

Sirius came in not too long after. His hair was still dripping with water, and his face flushed from the cold weather outside. Y/n could hear him parking the motorbike. He rode out on the side of the building. He was breathtakingly beautiful no matter the circumstance.

Sirius was tall, dark, and handsome - literally. Maybe he wasn’t as tall as James and Remus, but he was still tall. Sirius was around 5’11”, while his other friends were over six feet. It was always a good source for teasing. His hair was shoulder-length, thick, silky, dark brown hair that almost resembled black. His eyes were light, contrasting his dark hair. The beautiful blue-grey eyes that could look like a pale sky or a cloudy day.

He stepped behind the counter and grabbed another apron. He left a chaste kiss on Y/n’s cheek before moving behind her to clean some of the creamer that had spilled - probably James and his clumsy ass. The rest of the day was uneventful. At midnight the boys and Y/n cleaned up shop. It was tedious and annoying, but the cafe became a mess after hours of working. They all went home at the end of the night at half-past twelve.

The following day, Sirius woke up at six am - bright and early - as James would say or as Remus would say - the ass crack of dawn. It really depended on who you asked. James had always been a morning person, Remus, and Sirius, not so much. Y/n was still sleeping. She didn’t have to get out of bed till eight, and Sirius hated leaving her in the mornings.

Sirius turned on his side to face his sleeping wife. Her hair was messy on her white pillow, and her chest moved calmly. Her lips parted just the slightest bit, allowing air in and out. On occasion, Sirius would catch her drooling and tease her relentlessly for it but always found it weirdly endearing. Nonetheless, waking up to his sleeping wife always brought a smile to his face, and leaving her in the mornings was always the worst way to wake up.

Gently, he kissed her forehead before peeling back the comforter to get ready for work. It was nothing special, brushing his teeth, taking a shower, and getting dressed as quietly as possible. Before leaving, he went into the kitchen to make Y/n a coffee for when she woke up. Sirius left it on her desk with a pink sticky note. Smiling at his work, he finally left to go to the cafe.

Business went as usual. Sirius got to chat up some regulars and meet new people of all different kinds. That had to be his favorite part - meeting people with all sorts of backgrounds. He found it fascinating. During the day, he stole a pastry from Remus, which resulted in a glare, but he ate it anyway. Remus always had a sweet tooth and was excellent at portraying that into his sweets.

At precisely quarter after ten, a man showed up. The man was tall, taller than Sirius, maybe around 6’2”, but he wasn’t muscular. He was more on the lean side. His eyes were a striking blue, more vibrant than eyes probably should be. His posture was confident as he strode to the counter with an impossible expensive suit. The man looked behind the counter for something in particular, and Sirius quirked an eyebrow.

“Whatcha lookin’ for?”

The guy finally met his eyes with a smirk, “Well, between you and I, there was this really cute girl working here yesterday.”

“Well, between you and I, she’s got a husband.” Sirius quipped, “Which I’m sure she already told you.”

“She did.” The man replied, “But how does that change anything?”

Sirius almost snapped the pen in his left hand, “How does that- Are you stupid?”

“No.” The man shrugged and gave a subtle grin, “Just determined.”

“Ah, yes,” Sirius retorted sarcastically, “Well, your determination might end up giving you a black eye, so I suggest if you aren’t going to buy something, then to leave because I won’t let you talk bad about my wife.”

The man didn’t have any sharp quips after that. He ordered, Sirius delivered - totally didn’t put anything in his drink - and the man left without another word. Sirius got home at six in the evening to hear his wife in the office with her headphones on, obviously in a meeting. He sighed. She always worked later than she was supposed to. Her workday was supposed to end at four. But it was her job that paid the bills.

Sirius flopped down on the couch after turning on some rerun movie they were playing. Reaching with his arm, he grabbed a soft blanket Y/n kept on the sofa. He placed it under his eyes so his nose was underneath the soft material, allowing the laundry soap and fabric softener to fill his senses. Within minutes Sirius was sleeping on the couch.

It wasn’t until eight o’clock when Y/n finally shut down her computer to see her husband on the couch with all the lights off and a movie playing on the tv. She smiled and knelt in front of him, placing a kiss on his forehead - not unlike what he did every morning to her - his eyes fluttered open.

Cloudy, sparkling silver eyes met glorious, warm e/c ones. Her appearance was slightly messy. Her hair was askew, probably from running her hands through it constantly. He took in what she was wearing, one of his hoodies and a pair of leggings with fluffy socks. The blue light glasses she usually wore were on her desk, Sirius assumed.

He cupped her cheek and pulled her forward, placing his lips on hers. It was gentle and sweet. There was no rush and no lust, just pure love. Sirius was better at getting his words out through actions instead of words. His parents never let him express himself, so he learned other ways to communicate. He continued to kiss her, slow and soft. When they pulled apart, Y/n cupped his cheek and gently allowed her thumb to caress his cheekbone.

“What’s wrong?”

Damn her and her intuitive nature, “Nothin’.”

Y/n gave him a look, “Liar. What’s wrong, love?”

“‘S stupid, Nothin’ to worry about.” Sirius hated how the term of endearment made his heart palpitated and his stomach flutter with butterflies.

She gave him a soft smile as his cheeks flushed with pastel pink, “C’mon, let’s lay in bed.”

That was something Sirius could do. He rose from the couch and allowed the blanket sprawl on the black leather material. He followed Y/n into the bedroom, where she laid down on her back. Sirius laid beside her and placed his head on her chest while her fingers carded through his smooth hair. Sirius allowed himself to indulge in the feeling of her nails on his scalp and nuzzled into her hand.

“What’s on your mind, Siri?” Why did her voice have to be so soft and her tongue made of silver? It made Sirius cave, “There was this guy that came into the cafe today, lookin’ for you specifically.”

She hummed, “He had blond hair and blue eyes, you know him?”

“Yeah,” Y/n replied, “Think I served him yesterday. His name was Nik. He was hitting on me. I thought Remus was gonna shit himself.”

Sirius chuckled, “I told him I had a husband, though.”

“I don’t think that deterred him,” Sirius said quietly, looking up at her.

Y/n kissed his forehead, “You’re the only one for me. I married you for a reason, Black.”

“Yeah, for my money.” Sirius joked, and Y/n snorted, “Mhm, definitely, totally not for your passionate, loving nature and your dream of having a cafe.”

“Thought you hated the cafe.” Sirius murmured.

“I don’t hate the cafe.” Y/n informed, “I just don’t like working there, but I do it for you.”

She placed another kiss at his temple, and Sirius snuggled closer. Her fingers never stopped tangling in his mess of silky hair. He released a puff of air as if releasing all the insecurities he had been holding inside him throughout the day. Y/n had lifted the weight from his shoulders, and he felt at ease.

“I love you.” His voice was so vulnerable.

“Love you more, Siri.”

[sassmar]

12 for wolfstar for the writing game, if you want! :)

yesss of course! Ty so much @everythingbutcoldfire for playing :) :).

against the darkness of my soul and everything that is wolfstar, I decided to make this one light & happy. hope you enjoy it!! <3

[based on prompt 12 - things you said when you thought i was asleep]

----------------

He wakes to the sound of Sirius’s low moans.

“Owwwww. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck owwwww.”

And various sorts of bumps and bangs.

Ah. He’s drunk. He has come home drunk and has injured himself on the furniture and is now stumbling around the wrong bloody bedroom. Because. Because of course.

Remus half sighs and shifts, nestles further into the mattress, keeps his eyes stubbornly shut. He is not dealing with this. It is fuck-knows o’clock in the morning and he is still sleeping off the last moon and Sirius is drunk in his bedroom and he is not, not dealing with this.

He feigns an impressive snore.

He hears the zip of Sirius’s jeans, some shuffling and rustling of fabric, and then footsteps approaching. And then—God, no. Surely Sirius is not climbing into his bed. But yes, yes, that’s exactly what he’s doing, because there is no God and there is no mercy for a queer werewolf who has been trying desperately for nigh on three years to shove the very uncomfortable fact of being stupidly in love with his best fucking friend into the darkest dankest most cobwebby corner of his existence where it will hopefully rot and die one day, although it has shown, quite tragically, no signs of doing so just yet.

And now Sirius is in his bed.

“Moony,” Sirius whispers into the dark. “Moony. Are you awake?”

No, he thinks, so fervently that he almost accidentally says it out loud. No no no no no no no.

Sirius sighs, scoots closer. Remus feels aristocratic fingers carding lightly through his mussed hair. He is going to die. He is going to spontaneously combust and leave a werewolf-shaped scorch mark in his sheets and that will be all that is left for his family and friends to remember him by, the scorch mark and his records (which, really, are Sirius’s records based on proof of purchase, although a solid fifty-percent of the collection is functionally Remus’s based on actual taste in music) and his stacks of very, very overdue library books. Shit.

“Moony.”

He feigns another impressive snore.

“Saw James tonight,” Sirius whispers. “He knows, I don’t know how he bloody knows. Nosy git. So I had to deal with that.”

Silence.

“Don’t know what you see in that Dearborn bloke, anyway. Bit of a prat, ain’t he?”

Remus could say precisely what he sees in that Dearborn bloke, and it would consist of the following:

He is gay.

He is interested.

He is not James, Peter, or Sirius.

He has uncannily straight teeth.

But Remus does not, does not say any of those things because he is now deeply, deeply committed to his performance as someone who is fast asleep, and breaking character at this juncture would be, really, quite awkward.

Sirius continues to card through his hair, shifts around on the mattress and moves closer, so that he is now practically spooning him. Remus can smell his sweat, the cigarettes and whiskey on his breath; he can feel the heat emanating off Sirius’s bare chest and—oh. Oh, fuck. There is no God and there is no mercy and he is dying dying dying dying. Any second now. Boom.

“I’m prettier, you know,” he murmurs into Remus’s neck. “And cleverer, and funnier. And I’ve got a cool flying motorbike. Which, like, you pretend to hate and all but fuck off ’cause I know it’s an act. And, and I can turn into a giant black dog, which—bloody hell, that must count for something.”

He settles in, curls around Remus like a comma and throws an arm warm and heavy around his waist.

“An’ he doesn’t even love you.” Voice whispery, barely there, slurred and fading as his breathing grows heavy. “Don’t y’know—don’t you fucking know, Remus. There’re people who—who really love you.”

Remus prays and prays and prays—because there is, maybe, a God, after all—that Sirius cannot hear his heart galloping like a racehorse inside of his chest. But then Sirius’s breathing levels, evens out, and soon he is snuffling quietly into Remus’s shoulder.

He waits a few moments. Counts to fifty, one hundred. Then he gently—gently—removes Sirius’s arm, climbs quietly out of bed. He pads barefoot to the bathroom, washes his face in cool water, then goes to the kitchen and puts the kettle on. His hands are shaking. He feels like he’s done three lines of coke and washed them down with a double-shot of espresso. His body is crackling, electric.

He tries to breathe slowly, in and out, as he sits at the table and sips at his tea. He could, if he were a decent sort of chap, spend the rest of the night in Sirius’s bed, or even on the sofa. Pretend, politely, to have heard nothing, to have simply woken up next to a drunk Padfoot early in the morning and kindly yielded his bed. He could—if he were a really decent sort of chap—Obliviate himself. Or, perhaps safer, ring Lily, get her to Obliviate him. Because he has heard too much. He has heard things that he should not have heard, under utterly false pretenses, and the decent thing now would be to unhear them, and anyhow this dark hot secret hope unfurling inside his belly is really all too much and—. But no. He will not. He knows already that he will not do any of those very decent things because he wants, damn it. He wants.

Remus has, now, this strange new glimmering knowledge, and he cannot let it go. He has this strange new glimmering knowledge and he holds it like a sapphire in his palm. He is astonished that someone as poor as himself could have stumbled across something so precious. He is astonished and he has this strange new glimmering knowledge and he holds it like a sapphire in his palm and tonight, tonight he will slip it into his pocket and feel its perfect little weight against his thigh. But tomorrow. Tomorrow he will take it out and hold it to the window, will admire it, properly, by the clear light of day.

And so he creeps, quietly, back to his own bed. Crawls under the covers, nestles in close to Sirius. Listens, for a moment, to the sound of his soft breaths.

“It’s you, Padfoot,” he whispers, shaky, still somewhat in awe, and then presses a dry gentle kiss into the hollow of Sirius’s jaw. “It’s always been you.”

Sirius grunts, shifts onto his back. Gray eyes flutter open.

“Moony,” he says, low and groggy, a sloppy smile smeared half across his face. “I wasn’t asleep. You idiot.”

[casualmaraudering]

Youtuber Sirius AU

yes i’m making a post about a yt au in the year of the lord 2020 get over it

sirius’s channel is pretty varied - he posts with no particular schedule, or theme, he just. posts whatever he wants

there’s gaming videos. there’s just chatting about stuff. song covers - electric guitar, piano, or singing. but he also does a little bit of cinematography sometimes, or live streams where he composes songs

titles including: “why is Mr Darcy the perfect man” (which is 47 minutes long btw), “properly caring for a motorbike engine (tips)”, “beach trip + getting terribly sunburnt (no, i’m not actually a vampire)” “pranking my flatmate pt 39”

james features on his channel quite a lot, usually as a victim of pranks or someone to play games with

he gets famous cause his videos are so chill, and often super funny, not to mention he has a fucking fantastic voice and his covers are some of his most viewed videos on his channel. and welp. he is good looking

known as the eye candy of youtube pretty much 

he’s got a wide fanbase and a huge instagram following, got quite a few interviews on TV and even a magazine cover

he didn’t expect to be famous, especially since he did it just cause he was bored, as a hobby more than anything, but hey, he has a great community and it works out fantastic tbh. the money is a plus, yes, but he already had a very cushy life cause of inheritance, so he donates most -if not all - of his yt income

remus isn’t famous at all. he's a student who works at a bookstore. he’s very much a Normal Person TM

he has the biggest fucking celebrity crush on sirius which is real unfortunate cause sirius has like 30mil subscribers and is pretty much a model on ig. and remus. remus is remus

he stumbled on one of his videos by accident. and sirius was gorgeous and funny and talented. and then he binged his whole channel. and the crush hit so hard 

they get together somehow i don’t know, i didn’t plan out this post too much don’t judge me, but it probably involves remus freaking the fuck out about it a lot

sirius has always been pretty nonchalant about his sexuality but when he finally makes a video about it - titled “yes i really am gay it’s not just for a twitter meme” - it’s actually a rather serious video (aside some jokes) cause he wants to be a good role model for the younger queer boys that might be watching him

when they start dating, he doesn’t mention remus that much, but he does mention A Boyfriend, and his fans pick up on that quick cause hello, that’s new

remus’s guilty pleasure is scrolling through social media and seeing memes/posts about the mystery boyfriend and how whipped sirius seems

at first, remus doesn’t appear in sirius’s videos at all, for like a good couple months

when he does start appearing, at first it’s through comments off camera - it’s also when the people learn his name

cue fanmade videos like “remus bullying sirius for 29 minutes”, “remus being sassy (compliation)” or “sirius being gay for remus part 1/2347823432″

which just get better when remus finally does agree to be on camera

“compilation of remus looking at sirius like he’s the dumbest being on earth” “sirius hearteyes black” “remus being relatable for 12 minutes and 29 seconds”

sirius loves posting photos of them being cute together just because he loves his boyfriend okay? usually they involve remus hiding his face cause he’s insecure, but that’s so adorable sirius can’t be mad

sirius starts posting an awful lot of love song covers

honestly sirius probably reads fics of them for the laughs (and sometimes sends remus the hilariously bad ones so they can laugh together)

sirius saves every fanart he sees of himself and remus or just of remus. he has to

people go badshit when sirius posts an engagement photo and sirius is so fucking happy that he gets to just gush about his fiance on twitter as if he’s a schoolboy

like honestly. sirius’s twitter? remus. so much gushing about remus

their wedding video is the most viewed video of the year, and one of the most viewed videos of all times

remus ends up tweeting like “funny how five years ago i had a celebrity crush on that one hot youtuber and yesterday i married him” he’s living the dream tbh

sirius has fucking field day with domestic videos: “giving my husband cooking instructions except i only speak french (spoiler: it’s a mess)”, “mario kart with my husband” “reacting to memes of me and my husband”

a couple months after they’re married sirius has a chill live stream where all he does is literally just. talk about remus and how fucking happy he is in his life. it’s so gay. and so wholesome

there’s an ongoing meme within the community that everyone likes remus more than sirius. sirius runs with it and loves it cause he loves people raising his baby’s confidence. generally posts about remus? 10/10, reblog/retweet, saves them, sirius is his no.1 stan

there’s people hating on them, of course. people who shipped sirius with james. homophobes. people who are just jealous of remus. at first that hits remus a lot, like, he’s not used to getting hate DMs, so that sucks extra hard. but sirius always tries his best to cheer him up and hey, it doesn’t matter what the people say, cause sirius would drop his career immediately if remus as much as asked

another fandom favourite meme: sirius being a simp for remus. sirius never denies it 

[wolfstar-in-color]

July Colorful Column: Remus is a Crip, and We Can Write Him Better.

There is one thing that can get me to close a fic so voraciously I don’t even make sure I’m not closing other essential tabs in the process. It doesn’t matter how much I’m loving the fic, how well written I think it is, or how desperately I want to know how it ends. Once I read this sentence, I am done.

It’s written in a variety of different ways, but it always goes something like this: “You don’t want me,” Remus said, “I am too sick/broken/poor/old/[insert chosen self-demeaning adjective here].”

You’re familiar with the trope. The trope is canonical. And if you’ve been around the wolfstar fandom for longer than a few minutes, you’ve read the trope. Maybe you love the trope! Maybe you’ve written the trope! Maybe you’re about to stop reading this column, because the trope rings true to you and you feel a little attacked!

Now, let’s get one thing out of the way right now: I am not saying the trope is wrong. I am not saying it’s bad. I am not saying we should stop writing it. We all have things we don’t like to see in our chosen fics. Maybe you can’t stand Leather Jacket Motorbike Sirius? Maybe you think Elbow Patch Remus is overdone? Or maybe your pet peeves are based in something a little deeper - maybe you think Poor Latino Remus is an irresponsible depiction, or that PWPs are too reductive? Whatever it is, we all have our things.

Let me tell you about my thing. When I first became very ill several years ago, there were various low points in which I felt I had become inherently unlovable. This is, more or less, a normal reaction. When your body stops doing things it used to be able to do - or starts doing things you were quite alright without, thank you very much - it changes the way you relate to your body. You don’t want to hear my whole disability history, so yada yada yada, most people eventually come to accept their limitations. It’s a very painful existence, one in which you constantly tell yourself your disability has transformed you into a burdensome, unworthy member of society, and if nothing else, it’s not terribly sustainable. Being disabled takes grit! It takes power! It takes a truly absurd amount of medical self-advocacy! Hating yourself? Thinking yourself unworthy of love? No one has time for that. 

Of course, I’m being hyperbolic. Plenty of disabled people struggle with these feelings many years into their disabilities, and never really get over them. But here’s the thing. We experience those stories ALL THE TIME. Remember Rain Man? Or Million Dollar Baby? Or that one with the actress from Game of Thrones and that British actor who seemed like he was going to have a promising career but then didn't? Those are all stories about sad, bitter disabled people and their sad, bitter lives, two out of three of which end in the character completing suicide because they simply couldn’t imagine having to live as a disabled person. (I mean, come on media, I get that we're less likely to enjoy a leisurely Saturday hike, but our parking is SUBLIME.) When was the last time you engaged with media that depicted a happy disabled person? A complex disabled person? A disabled person who has sex? No really, these aren’t hypothetical questions, can you please drop a rec in the notes?? Because I am desperate.

There are lots of problems with this trope, and they’ve been discussed ad nauseam by people with PhDs. I’m not actually interested in talking about how this trope leads to a more prevalent societal idea that disabled people are unworthy of love, or contributes to the kind of political thought processes that keep disabled people purposefully disenfranchised. I’m just a bitch on Tumblr, and I have a bone to pick: the thing I really hate about the trope? It’s boring. I’m bored. You know how, like, halfway through Grey’s Anatomy you realized they were just recycling the same plot points over and over again and there was just no WAY anyone working at a hospital prone to THAT MANY disasters would stay on staff? It's like that. I love a recycled trope as much as the next person (There Was Only One Bed, anyone?). But I need. Something. Else.

Remus is disabled. BOLD claim. WILD speculation. Except, not really. You simply - no matter how you flip it, slice it, puree it, or deconstruct it - cannot tell me Remus Lupin is not disabled. Most of us, by this point, are probably familiar with the way that One Canonical Author intended One Dashing Werewolf to be “a metaphor for those illnesses that carry stigma, like HIV and AIDS” [I’m sorry to link you to an outside source quoting She Who Must Not Be Named, but we’re professionals here]. Which is... a thing. It’s been discussed. And, listen, there’s no denying that this parallel is a problematic interpretation of people who have HIV/AIDS and all such similar “those illnesses” (though I’ll admit that I, too, am perennially apt to turn into a raging beast liable to harm anything that crosses my path, but that’s more linked to the at-least-once-monthly recollection that One Day At A Time got cancelled). Critiques aside, Remus Lupin is a character who - due to a condition that affects him physically, mentally, emotionally, and intellectually - is repeatedly marginalized, oppressed, denied political and social power, and ostracized due to unfounded fear that he is infectious to others. Does that sound familiar?

We’re not going to argue about whether or not “Remus is canonically disabled as fuck” is a fair reading. And the reason we’re not going to argue about whether or not it’s a fair reading is because I haven’t read canon in 10-plus years and you will win the argument. Canon is only marginally relevant here. The icon of this blog is brown, curly haired Remus Lupin kissing his trans boyfriend, Sirius Black. We are obviously not too terribly invested in canon. The wolfstar fandom is now a community with over 25,000 AO3 fics, entire careers launched from drawing or writing or cosplaying this non-canonical pairing. We love to play around here with storylines and universes and races and genders and sexualities and all kinds of things, but most of the time? Remus is still disabled. He’s disabled as a werewolf in canon-compliant works, he’s disabled in the AUs where he was injured or abused or kidnapped or harmed as a child, he’s disabled in the stories that read him as chronically ill or bipolar or traumatized or blind or Deaf. I’d go so far as to say that he is one of very few characters in the Wide Wonderful World of media who is, in as close to his essence as one can be, always disabled. And that means? Don’t shoot the messenger... but we could stand to be a tiny bit more responsible with how we portray him. 

Disabled people are complicated. As much as I’d like to pretend we are always level-headed, confident, and ready to assert our inherent worth, we are still just humans. We have bad days. We doubt our worth. We sometimes go out with guys who complain about our steroid-induced weight gain (it was a long time ago, Tumblr, okay??). But, we also have joy and fun and good days and sex and happiness and families and so many other things. 

Remus is a disabled character, and as such, it’s only fair that he’d have those unworthy moments. But - I propose - Remus is also a crip. What is a crip? A crip - like a queer - is someone who eschews the limited boundaries placed on their bodies, who rejects a hierarchy of oppression in favor of an intersectional analysis of lived experience, who isn’t interested in being the tragic figure responsible for helping people with dominant identities realize how good they have it. Crips interpret their disabilities however they want, rethinking bodies and medicine and pleasure and pain and even time itself. Crips are political, community-minded, and in search of liberation. 

Remus is a character who struggles with his disability, sure. But he’s also a character who leverages his physical condition to attempt to shift communities towards his political leanings, advocates for the rights of those who share his physical condition, and has super hot sex with his wrongfully convicted boyfriend ultimately goes on to build community and family. Having a condition that quite literally cripples you, over which you have no control, and through which you are often read as a social pariah? That’s disability. But using said condition as a means through which to build advocacy and community? Now that’s some crip shit. 

Personally, I love disabled!Remus Lupin. But I love crip!Remus Lupin even more. I’d love to see more of a Remus who owns his disability, who covets what makes him unique, and who never ever again tells a potential romantic partner they are too good for him because of his disability. This trope - unlike There Was Only One Bed! - sometimes actually hurts to read. Where’s Remus who thinks a potential romantic partner isn’t good enough for him? Where’s Remus who insists his partners learn more about his condition in order to treat him properly? Where’s sexy wheelchair user Remus? Where’s Remus who uses his werewolf transformations as an excuse to travel the world? Where’s crip Remus??

We don’t have to put “you don’t want me” Remus entirely to bed. It is but one of many repeated tropes that are - in the words of The Hot Priest from Fleabag - morally a bit dubious. And let’s face it - we don’t always come to fandom for its moral superiority (as much as we sometimes like to think we do). 

This is not a condemnation - it is an invitation. Able-bodied folks are all but an injury, illness, or couple decades away from being disabled. And when you get here, I sincerely hope you don’t waste your time on “you don’t want me”ing back and forth with the people you love. I’m inviting you to come to the crip side now. We have snacks, and without all the “you don’t want me” talk, we get to the juicy parts much faster. 

Colorfully,

Mod Theo

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

The real Sirius Black

Sirius Black was a very special boy. For instance, everyone at Hogwarts knew who he was. For many, he was the most handsome lad. Many girls (even boys) wanted to date him, others wanted to be like him. Sirius Black was an icon around Hogwarts. The first Black to be sorted into Gryffindor. Prankster legend, always making the funniest jokes and comments in class. He was most teacher's favourite. He had the reputation of the bad boy, a player who broke girl's hearts daily. Sirius Black, the legend.

Nobody knew the real Sirius Black.

Sirius was the most insecure of the Marauders even more than Remus and nobody noticed. He had had a horrible experience with his family. Sirius never showed his true feelings or at least he tried. He wanted to keep his reputation. He kept a smile, he would make a joke or get drunk so he could act goofy around everyone.

Every summer he would experience the worst. His parents made him feel so small. So vulnerable. He hated that feeling.

The real Sirius was sensible, romantic, too depending on love and attention. He cared too much and too deeply. He wasn't a play boy. Sirius had never been in love. Sirius was scared of his sexuality. He was scared of his real temper. But he would do anything for his friends. Specially Remus Lupin.

It was the summer of 1975. Sirius was invited to the Potter's beach House along with Remus and Peter. Remus had a hard time convincing his father to let him go. Since he was a werewolf and he would have to transform there. The boys and Mr. and Mrs. Potter eventually convinced him.

Remus Lupin had to transform in the basement. And the next day all the boys wanted to see him. "I will get in first" Fleamont had said "Do you hear me? I would let you know when to get in"

The boys nodded impatiently. But the minute Fleamont opened the door, Sirius ran inside. He was too impatient. "SIRIUS..." Fleamont yelled. But he didn't pay attention.

Sirius got downstairs and he saw Remus lying on the floor. His body was all brused, dirty and ...naked. Sirius blushed for some reason. He kneeled beside his friend.

"Remus.." he whispered Remus hummed in response, opening his eyes slightly. "Sirius?" Sirius smiled "Yeah it's me. I'm here"

Fleamont came downstairs as well with a blanket. "I told you to wait Sirius" he said "Don't ever do that again" he sounded kind of angry but mostly worried. "Sorry Mr. Potter. I was so worried"

Fleamont smiled covering Remus' nudity.

"Remus? Does something hurt?"

Remus murmured something like 'knee" with still a sleepy voice. Fleamont nodded. "Okay, this is gonna hurt a bit okay?" he took out his wand. Sirius instantly grabbed Remus hand. This was the first time he had watched Remus like that. They only had seen him already fixed and rested at The Hospital Wing. Fleamont flicked his wand muttering something and Remus screamed in pain. Sirius squeezed his hand. "It's okay Remmy"

Remus was fixed in no time. Sirius didn't want to leave him. He stayed with him. Watching Remus sleep. He looked so peaceful. Sirius wanted to touch Remus' hair. But he didn't dare. His heart was beaiting fast. "Sirius?" Euphemia said. She was looking at him from the door frame "Why don't you let him sleep sweetheart. Come down for breakfast. You can be with him when he wakes up"

Sirius looked at Remus again. He didn't want to leave him but he nodded following Euphemia downstairs. And just like that Sirius Black had a crush on his best friend.

It was Sirius idea to become an animagus for Remus. To help him, to be with him. And he managed to do it, to be with Remmy every full moon. And do everything for the boy he loved.

The real Sirius Black secretly hated himself because sometimes he didn't think before acting. He was so afraid of being like his family. And sometimes the nightmares were too strong to ignore. Sometimes he just felt too bad to even hide it.

Normally, Sirius and James would joke around, they wouldn't talk about serious stuff. It wasn't their thing. But James noticed how Sirius' joy lowered everytime before summer breaks or winter breaks. When Sirius had to go home.

Sirius came all brused and crying to James' house the summer of 1976. He didn't speak. Euphemia and Fleamont fixed Sirius' bruses and warmed him up. James was so worried. But Sirius didn't want to speak.

James owled the boys. Remus and Peter. They came the next day. Sirius pretended he was fine of course. He was playing Potter's piano when the boys arrived.

"What happened?" Remus asked clearly worried. "He came all brused last night" whispered James looking at him with concern "I reckon his parents did something to him, but he doesn't want to speak" "Shit.." Peter said.

James approached his friend smiling "Hey mate, look who is here"

Sirius looked at his friends and he instantly smiled. "Heey boys" he said "Guess what? I'm a Potter now. Meaning I would inherite half of their gold" There he was again. Always joking to hide his feelings.

"You wish" James joked.

"Are you okay Sirius?" Remus asked worried

"Yeah. I couldn't be better" Sirius clearly lied "I was hoping to leave that stupid household. I'm free now!" The boys looked at him with concern.

"You're lucky" Peter commented awkwardly "I would like to leave my annoying mother sometimes" Sirius laughed.

"Yeah. We should celebrate" he said "James do you think we can take your father's licor?"

"Don't you dare!"

Remus Lupin sighed he wasn't convinced Sirius was fine.

Later that night, the boys felt asleep on the Potter's leaving room, after drinking and chatting a bit. James Potter woke up to go to the loo as always. And he didn't find Sirius there. James got instantly worried.

James looked all over the house whispering his name not to wake anyone up. Until he got to the second floor bathroom. James opened the door slowly, and to his horror, he saw Sirius there. His naked torso showed some of the worst bruses and scars he's ever seen. He gasped. When Sirius noticed he jumped.

"GET OUT!" Sirius said

"Sirius, what... Let me see"

"No!" Sirius was covering his body, embarrassed. "Sirius" James approached him carefully "Let me see..."

"No leave me alone!"

"Sirius let me..." James tried to touch him but Sirius pushed him away.

"No.."

"Sirius..."

"Fucking leave!!"

Sirius bursted into tears. He broke down like never before, not in front of anyone at least. Not in front of James. He was so embarrassed. James hugged him. "It's okay..." Sirius sobbed "Please don't tell anyone"

"I won't. I won't"

The real Sirius also was too insecure. Always afraid of abandonment. Issues he had aquired from his terrible childhood.

In 1981, Voldemort and his followers were too powerful. There was even a spy within the Order of Phoenix. Sirius became so paranoic. He had been dating Remus for a while now. He was so in love with that boy. But he made up all these ideas on his head about Remus being the spy. That he chose that path before staying another day with Sirius. That his relationship with Remus was too good to be true. "If you are going to leave me just do it!" he had yelled in one of their fights.

"Sirius you're being irrational! I would never do this, how can you think..."

"I don't know you anymore..."

"You are not the boy I feel in love with" said Remus with tears on his eyes "Just because I am a werewolf? You have become so prejudiced. Jumping into conclusions, just like your parents..."

Sirius jumped "SHUT UP! YOU'RE A FUCKING MONSTER" Remus went pale and began crying. Sirius realized what he had said.

"Rem... Remus I'm sorry.. I didn't..."

"Don't touch me..."

Remus started walking again.

"Remus! Please Remus don't leave me... I love you..." Sirius cried dropping to the floor. He had become like his parents and he hated it, he hated himself.

Nobody knew the real Sirius. For many years the entire Wizarding World thought Sirius Black was a murderer. He had the type didn't he? Rebellious, explosive, member of the Black Family. With his tattoos, motorbike, dark robes. Everything fitted. Who wouldn't believe Sirius to be a criminal. A death eater. A killer.

The real Sirius Black was a good boy victim of the circumstances. The real Sirius Black suffered so much. The real Sirius Black deserved love, respect, friendship and happiness. The real Sirius Black deserved better.

[spiltscribbles]

Here’s a prompt from the tag! “ Giving them your dessert when you eat out because it’s their favorite.” bc I have a feeling Remis would be the type to end up eating Sirius’ dessert instead of his bc he doesn’t know what to order but Sirius knows his taste dkfjsjaha

~Notes: Oh no baby! I read this wrong, thinking it was Person A ordering for them instead because Person B didn’t know what they wanted.... And well this came out-- I can totally write a different prompt though to match this one! Just LMK! <3 <3

.-

Send Me A Prompt  |  Reblogs are like the tastiest dessert!!

.-

Remus pads softly into his and Sirius’s room, a mug of steaming Darjeeling in hand and clad only in a his robe as he gazes longingly at the sleeping form of his partner for nearing on three years now. 

The early morning sun pans across the wide expanse of Sirius’s shoulders, and dips into the planes and valleys of his muscular torso and angular face. Lying there, with his dark hair fanning the pillow and the blanket slung lazily around his hips, he looks like some sort of fallen angel. Beautiful and remote and impossible to touch by sullied hands that aren’t half as sacred. It makes his heart thud an uneven staccato when he remembers that he’s his— Sirius chose Remus, Sirius loves Remus— Maybe even nearly as much as Remus has always loved him.

How remarkable of a revelation indeed.

Gingerly, Remus sets down his tea and crawls back into bed with Sirius, insides thrilling when the dark haired boy subconsciously snakes his arms around him and curves around Remus’s body like so many times before, so often that Remus reckons it’s become by rote, an ingrained response to whenever they’re in close proximity to one another.

With a quiet laugh, Remus stretches around, begins peppering Sirius’s chest and abs and the space surrounding his cock with tender kisses, slowly rousing him to wakening the way Sirius always appreciates after a night of patrols for the Auror’s academy. And as usual, it doesn’t take long at all for Sirius to begin moaning out appreciative sighs, thrusting languorously for the warmth of his mouth, making Remus chuckle as he tugs down his pants, and kisses the length of him, peering up to watch as Sirius’s gorgeous, gray eyes flutter open.

“Wh— Moony?” He says in a peculiarly squeaky voice that Remus can’t ever remember slipping out of his mouth. 

“Yes— Problem, Paddy?”

Another discontent, borderline terrified noise rumbles in his throat, and before Remus could even ask what’s got his boyfriend acting like he’s touched in the head, the door to their flat flings open none too gently, and it’s an irate looking James who storms into the bedroom— fists clenched and jaw set as he glares daggers into the face of his practical brother.

“You’re dead Potter!” Is all he shouts before madness ensues— Madness that’s James’s flying fists for Sirius’s face, Peter’s choked laughter flowing in from the other room, and a Lily who looks stuck between horrified and amused

And Remus is so fucking bewildered as he slides off of his boyfriend to avoid any untoward hits accidentally aimed his way.

“Lily?” he presses expectantly, but is totally unsurprised when all she replies with is a bout of uninhibited cackles.

.-

Fifteen minutes, a magically healed split lip, and a physically restrained pair of animagi later, finds the ragtag group of friends surrounding the kitchen Island while a terse James and enraged Sirius are explaining what had happened the previous night. Namely, them getting hexed by a sour faced old bint with a Guinness in hand, after Sirius had driven his motorbike through her rosebushes.

“You guys got bested by a drunk hag!” Peter guffaws for the third time in a singular minute, clutching at his stomach while his body wracks with a continuous stream of  laughter

“I will singe your bollocks off Wormtail,” Sirius seethes from Remus’s left— Except no, it’s not Sirius. It’s James, his best mate James who’s now inhabiting the body of his lover. And God how strange of a fucking turn of events. It’s seriously unnerving. He’s just standing their, all too familiar arms crossed against his chest and thick brows furrowed. And God, Remus really wishes he wouldn’t do that— worry on his bottom lip mid snarl. It’s such a quintessentially Sirius thing to do. a look Remus knows well. One that Remus would always coax away with a gentle kiss and a hand carding through his hair and— 

“Oof!”

He glances over to where Sirius— wearing James’s face— is glowering at him with pure irritation after having elbow checked him. “Eyes front and center Lupin!”

Remus flushes, glancing over at Lily since she out of everyone here could understand his plight. But of course she’s only snickering to herself in her cup of coffee, the trader. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Just because ’s my body doesn’t mean you get to give another bloke the come hither eyes!” Sirius fumes, a sneer caught on his features that Remus never thought the face of the easy going James Potter could ever conjure. “Crikey, it’s plenty that you decided to give him a full on show already.”

“How was I to know this would happen!” Remus sputters the same time James defends that they even barely started, which of course made Peter fall over on his chair with pure delight and Lily walking over to the kettle so she can hide her own laughter.

“Lucky you,” Sirius snipes back, glaring darkly at James and snatching Remus’s hand to interlock with his— erm James’s?— own on his lap.

Remus is so totally fucked.

.-

Graciously, Professor McGonagall— who told the graduating Gryffindor  class of 78 to always reach out if they ever needed help with a strangely wet glint in her eyes— Replies to the pleading missive Remus had sent almost immediately, giving Remus the proper instructions to reverse the jinx and wishing him and Lily the best for the impending tribulations about to befall them.

“She’s totally loving this,” James mumbles moodily as Lily massages his head. And Merlin, is that a strange sight— Lily not only deigning to touch Sirius at all, but look at him sympathetically on top of that. Remus has to constantly remind himself of the body swap before his ridiculous envy begins carving at his insides when James only looks appreciatively back up at her, a gentle, open expression painted over his face that is ordinarily reserved for Remus and Remus alone.

“God this is weird,” Lily tells him, slowly inching away and sitting besides Remus instead. “I usually can’t stand even the sight of Black, and now I’ve got to treat him like the bloke I’m in love with.”

“That’s not what you said this morning Evans,” Sirius goads from Remus’s other end, suddenly reverting back to looking like the James of fifth year— when he was still too cocky for his own good and still didn’t understand how much it made Lily want to hex him to hell for it. “I actually think I recall a lot of back robs and straddling action this morning.”

Lily casts him a look that would absolutely scorch lesser beings, and Remus reasons that his own glower is emulating the same energy because Sirius quickly presses their foreheads together and squeezes Remus’s hand between both of his own in silent repentance. “I knocked her off once i realized it wasn’t you love.”

“Didn’t even bother to aim for the bed you absolute sod.”

“It was fight or flight while you had your grubby little hands all over me Evans!” Sirius airily sniffs.

“Oh I’ll show you grubby little hands!” Lily seethes, pouncing forwards right when Sirius hides behind Remus’s back.

“Children,” Remus intones, beyond over it. “Did you all not realize the massive problem with this little mishap.”

“You mean besides dealing with James’s pitiful little knob.” Sirius asks, faux owlish.

“You touch my knob Black and I swear to God I’ll shave off all your hair.” James snipes, which really isn’t all that fair considering how Sirius doesn’t even care about his perfect locks half as much as Remus does.

“Bloody hell! That’s brilliant!” Peter squawks from the loveseat, absolutely glowing. “James, you think you can get Moony’s name tattooed on his arse.”

James’s face goes sly, Remus’s favorite smirk toying the edges of his lips and his stormy eyes glinting with mirth that Remus only ever sees on his boyfriend’s face before a prank or while Remus is undressing in front of him. 

“What did I say about that look Moony!” Sirius shouts, scathing and skewering him with a look James only ever  employed as Head Boy  on the third year students stupid enough to get caught while trying to pull off a prank.

“Erm— Ahem.” Remus adjusts himself in his seat, not meeting anyone’s eyes. “Yes well, that is rather besides the point.”

“So what is the point, Rem,” Lily asks smugly, and Remus absolutely hates how much she’s enjoying this. She should be suffering just as much as him for the sake of Circe.

“Well didn’t you have that lunch date set up with your older sister and her husband for today?” Remus points out, a mutinous little part of him preening at how her face goes a sickly sort of pale at the reminder. Finally someone is as ill over this as he is.

“Oh bloody shite! You’re right! And Professor McGonagall said that this incantation can only be done at night, the same time as it was originally cast!”

“We’re not in school anymore Evans, you can just call her McGonagall. Or Minnie if you’re so inclined.”

“Shut the fuck up Black!” Lily shrieks, and Remus can’t help but unfavorably liken her to a banshee. “I promised Petunia that I’d see her before she leaves on holiday tomorrow! And she bloody hates Black!”

“nasty harpy.”

“What are we going to do!”

“Erm— Well maybe you can explain to her the switch up?” Peter offers, always meek in the face of Lily’s wrath.

“She already thinks I’m a freak for being a witch Peter! I can’t bring James looking like that and expect her to be fine with it!”

“Most people would consider James having upgraded,” Sirius argues.

“The tattoo will be bright pink I reckon,” James muses loudly to himself, pretending not to have heard Sirius. “A nice contrast to your pasty white arse don’t you think Padfoot?”

Sirius bares his teeth at him and Remus feels an impending migraine while Lily continues to lament the idiocy of their boyfriends.

.-

Remus idly contemplates how normal his life could’ve been if he had fought harder with the sorting hat to be placed into Ravenclaw. It would be a much less wonderful existence, to be sure, but it’d be so blessedly normal. Remus would probably have gone steady with that Hufflepuff prefect, Andre, and they would probably still be together. And Andre didn’t have a best friend who he got into insane and improbable situations with, so Remus definitely wouldn’t have been forced to do this. To be forced to go to lunch with his best friend’s wizard hating sister and her pug faced husband and not look longingly over the table at the face of his other best friend where the love of his life is inhabiting his body.

Jesus, is Remus’s life confusing as fuck.

“I need to take a pis— Oof, I mean. I have to use the gents,” Sirius declares as everyone’s entrees are being served, giving a pointed glance to Remus. And he supposes he should talk to him about that, how incredibly obvious Sirius can be when he’s flustered and isn’t trying to show it.

Five minutes after his boyfriend, Remus leaves to meet him in the first open stall, finally feeling less wrong footed for the first time today when Sirius takes him into his unfamiliar arms.

“I’m going to stab my eyes out with a fork Moony!” He hisses, and it’s odd how alien his face— James’s face— is to him. How Remus has never spent the time to memorize the precise slope of his nose, or the shape to his lips. How Remus can’t understand what it means when he squints his left eye or when he flares his nostrils with a slight curl to his mouth. But Remus does recognize the way Sirius has always grabbed his hips in that desperate way when he’s fed up, and how he always presses his nose to the curls behind Remus’s ear when he needs to be grounded. And it’s a bit awkward now that they’re the same height instead of Sirius needing to stoop slightly, and how Sirius now smells like that pricy cologne that James has always sprits with gusto. But it’s familiar enough to make Remus’s shoulders relax from the tension sown through them all day, and breathe out with relief with how the pair of them still understand one another with an innate sort of knowing.

Gingerly, Remus wraps his arms around Sirius’s now less defined torso, and they stand their, tangled into one another amidst the hush settling over  them.

“Oi! You berks!” James hisses from the doorway all too soon, clambering inside and stomping his feet. “I swear to Merlin if you pricks are fucking inside there!”

“Don’t worry Jamie, I’d never put my Moons through the indignity of dealing with that after he’s had me,” Sirius jeers, preening when James replies by throwing something hard against the doorway.

“C’mon you idiot,” Remus sighs, tugging on a lowly chuckling Sirius as they meet James by the exit of the loo.

“I’ve had three different birds sliding their numbers into my trousers on my way here alone,” James complains, shuffling foot to foot and looking more awkward than Sirius ever has. “It’s obscene.”

“It’s the life of the beautiful,” Sirius corrects as Remus swaths his hand away from his arse. 

“I’d rather not have Petunia getting a heart attack when she sees her sister’s boyfriend copping a feel of another bloke,” he chides before looping his arm through James’s and begins strolling back to the table.

.-

The rest of the lunch is thankfully uneventful, but as stilted as expected, filled with Sirius needing to be kicked in the shin every time he starts gazing absentmindedly at Remus, and Lily flickering her eyes over to James disappointedly while he pouts at her with Sirius’s best puppy dog eyes. And Every time Petunia starts eyeing them all as if they’re all fucking each other behind the scenes, Remus clumsily changes the topic to the weather or how lovely her engagement ring is or asking Vernon about bloody drills— Even if all he wants to do is reach across the table and hold Sirius’s hand.

But thankfully, it all seems to be going along decently enough— That is until the waiter comes around to take their orders and spends a little too long leering at Remus, asking if he’d like a cinnamon roll on the house.

“He’d like a slice of the chocolate fudge cake and he has a boyfriend that probably wouldn’t appreciate the extra service.” Sirius growls out, specs gone askew and dark knuckles paling from where he’s clutching his spoon vindictively.

The waiter only smiles at him, shrugging in that what can you do kind of way before dashing off to place the orders in with the kitchen.

“Hmm,” Petunia levels him with a glance, unimpressed looking. “So James.”

It takes a beat too long for Sirius to respond and Remus silently curses his every damn star. 

“Erm, yes Petunia.”

“How long have you been fucking my sister’s friend behind her back?”

Lily goes shellshocked and James looks ill while Remus sinks lower in his seat, trying to force Sirius to get it together through his eye contact alone.

“Hah— Wow, you’ve been watching those silly Muggle dramas have you Petunia.” Sirius says in a mangled tone of voice, but of course that’s the precise wrong thing to have said.

With matching red faces and spluttering words of indignation— a few curses thrown in for good measure— Petunia and her husband rise from their seats and make a hasty retreat to their car towards the back of the building.

“Oh Christ,” Lily groans, jumping up to sprint after them— but not without swinging a perfectly aimed cuff to the back of Sirius’s porcupine head. “I’ll hex you once you’re out of my boyfriend’s sodding body Black!”

“I understand Evans!” He calls after her before swinging his head over to James and Remus with a mischievous grin. “We tried didn’t we?”

“You just couldn’t keep your bloody jealous  temper in check,” James scolds with no real heat.

“Oi! And what about you lusting over Lily so blatantly you tosser! It was revolting.”

“Yeah, well maybe you’ll remember that next time you’re gazing at Moony’s arse out in public you mongrel.”

Exhausted, Remus just rises and tells them to stay behind and make sure Lily’s alright. “I need a bath and some quiet.”

“Can I join,” Sirius pouts. “I miss you.”

“Only once you’re my  Sirius again,” Remus instructs, brooking no arguments before he finds a safe place to apparate, telling himself that he deserves an entire bottle of that cheap merlot they bought last weekend.

[spxllcxstxr]

The Seven Potters Plan Part 1 • R.L

(Gif not mine)

Request: Nope, just wanted to torture myself with this idea :)

Summary: Harry Potter needs to be relocated from his house in Surrey to the Burrow, however, because he’s not quite seventeen yet, he still has the Trace. Your father, Mad-Eye Moody, comes up with a Plan B. Here’s how it goes.

Warnings: canon character death, canon Deathly Hallows, cursing, death, grieving, mention of injury and blood, death eaters, Voldemort, just a lot of hurt/angst

Word Count: 2.6k

A.N: So the first like 1k words are taken straight from the book. Why? Because I’m a sucker for that kind of stuff. Implied that you’re Remus’ age, the two of you are married, why do I think of these things? I’m like 99% sure I made this gender neutral? But if I didn’t like let me know. I know this is angsty, but I hope you all enjoy. Love you all ❤️

EDIT: So the full fic exceeded 250 word blocks, which is shit because this is not meant to be split up. Meaning, the ending is abrupt because I had to split the whole thing. This is fucking stupid, but whatever. Please don’t forget to read Part 2 for the whole story

****

“All right, all right, we’ll have time for a cozy catch up later!” Your father roars from beside you, cutting off Harry’s conversation with Tonks.

A silence falls over the kitchen, everyone staring uneasily in his direction. You tinker with the zipper on your jacket, nervous about the next few hours.

“As Dedulus probably told you,” He continues, one eye glaring at Harry, the other rolling around in its restraint. “we had to abandon Plan A. Pius Thicknesse has gone over, which gives us a big problem. He’s made it an imprisonable offense to connect this house to the Floo Network, place a Portkey here, or Apparate in or out.” You watch his knuckles turn white, the grip on his staff tightening in anger. “All done in the name of your protection, to prevent You-Know-Who getting in at you. Absolutely pointless, seeing as your mother’s charm does that already. What he’s really done is to stop you from getting out of here safely.”

Harry’s lips tug into a frown.

“Second problem: you’re underage, which means you’ve still got the Trace on you.”

Harry glances around the room, dark eyebrows knit together in confusion. “I don’t—“

“The Trace, the Trace!” Mad-Eye continues impatiently. “The charm that detects magical activity around under-seventeens, the way the Ministry finds out about underage magic! If you, or anyone around you, casts a spell to get you out of here, Thicknesse is going to know about it, and so will the Death Eaters.”

You swallow roughly at the mere thought of being swarmed by Death Eaters unprepared.

A calloused hand grabs yours, and just by the feel you recognize it at Remus’. His hand is warm and comforting in your grasp.

“We can’t wait for the Trace to break, because the moment you turn seventeen you’ll lose all the protection your mother gave you. In short: Pius Thicknesse thinks he’s got you cornered good and proper.”

“So what are we going to do?” Harry questions, his determined tone hiding fragility behind his words.

“We’re going to use the only means of transport left to us, the only ones the Trace can’t detect, because we don’t need to cast spells to use them: brooms, thestrals, and Hagrid’s motorbike.” You father answers gruffly.

You squeeze your husband’s hand hard as you shift around. You hated this plan. It left you all open and vulnerable, and the pit in your stomach was screaming at you that something bad was going to happen. But it was, in reality, the only way to safely get Harry away from his house.

A skeptical look flashes across Harry’s face as well, though he doesn’t say anything.

“Now, your mother’s charm will only break under two conditions: when you come of age, or“—Mad-Eye makes a head gesture around the kitchen, his pockets jingling.—“you no longer call this place home. You and your aunt and uncle are going your separate ways tonight. In the full understanding that you’re never going to live together again, correct?”

He nods.

“So this time, when you leave, there’ll be no going back, and the charm will break the moment you’re outside it’s range. We’re choosing to break it early, because the alternative is waiting for You-Know-Who to come and grab you the moment you turn seventeen.”

The cool metal zipper is still between your fingers, a distraction from all of the grim looks around the room.

“The one thing we’ve got on our side is that You-Know-Who doesn’t know we’re moving you tonight.” Mad-Eye informs him. “We’ve leaked a fake trail to the Ministry: they think you’re not leaving until the thirtieth. However, this is You-Know-Who we’re dealing with, so we can’t just rely on him getting the date wrong; he’s bound to have a couple of Death Eaters patrolling the skies in this general area, just in case.”

You swallow roughly at the thought.

“So, we’ve given a dozen different houses every protection we can throw at them. They all look like they could be the place we’re going to hide you, they’ve all got some connection with the Order: my house, Kingley’s place, (Y/n) and Lupin’s, Molly’s Auntie Murial’s—you get the idea.”

“Yeah.” Harry responds, nodding once again.

“You’ll be going to Tonk’s parents.” You father goes on to explain. “Once you’re within the boundaries of the protective enchantments we’ve put on their house, you’ll be able to use a Portkey to the Burrow. Any questions?”

“Er—yes.” Harry stutters. “Maybe they won’t know which of the twelve safe houses I’m heading for at first, but won’t it be sort of obvious once”—he starts counting the heads around him—“fifteen of you fly off toward Tonk’s parents’?”

“Ah,” You scoff. “And here’s the kicker.”

Harry looks at you with a frown. Your father lightly jabs you with his staff.

“I forgot to mention the key point.” Mad-Eye scowls. “Fifteen of us won’t be flying to Tonk’s parents’s. There will be seven Harry Potters moving through the skies tonight, each of them with a companion, each pair heading for a different safe house.” He takes out his old flask from the inside pocket of his jacket.

“I hate this plan.” You mutter under your breath. Remus’ fingers trace figure eights between your knuckles.

“No!” Harry loudly protests. “No way!” His hands are balled into fists as he frantically looks at all of you surrounding him.

“I told you he’d take it like this.” Hermione lightly points out.

“If you think I’m going to let six people risk their lives—!“

“—because it’s the first time for all of us.” Ron rolls his eyes at his friend.

“This is different, pretending to be me—“

“Well, none of us really fancy it, Harry.” One of the twins jokes. “Imagine if something went wrong and we were stuck as specky, scrawny, gits forever.”

Harry doesn’t smile but the other twin lets out a snort.

“You can’t do it if I don’t cooperate, you need me to give you some hair.” Harry stubbornly tells you all.

“Well, that’s the plan scuppered.” One twin dramatically sighs. “Obviously there’s no chance at all of us getting a bit of your hair unless you cooperate.”

“Yeah, fourteen of us against one bloke who’s not allowed to use magic; we’ve got no chance!” The other teases.

“Funny.” Harry sarcastically remarks. “Very funny.”

“If it has to come to force, then it will.” Mad-Eye growls.

“Dad!” You yelp, the idea of piling on top of this kid just to get a strand of hair repulsive to you.

Your father glances at you, face softening, though only slightly. You’re probably the only one who notices. The perks of growing up with him, you guess.

“Everyone here’s overage, Potter, and they’re all prepared to take the risk.”

Taking a deep breath, you focus back on your anchor. Remus’ hand is honestly the only thing keeping you from succumbing to a total breakdown.

“Let’s have no more arguments! Time’s wearing on. I want a few of your hairs, boy, now.”

“But this is mad!” Harry laughs humorlessly. “There’s no need—“

“No need!” You dad snarls. “With You-Know-Who out there and half the Ministry on his side? Potter, if we’re lucky, he’ll have swallowed the fake bait and he’ll be planning to ambush you on the thirtieth, but he’d be mad not to have a Death Eater or two keeping an eye out, it’s what I’d do. They might not be able to get at you or this house while your mother’s charm holds, but it’s about to break and they know the rough position of this place. Our only chance is to use decoys. Even You-Know-Who can’t split himself into seven.”

You let out a sigh, watching as he quickly glances at his friends.

“So, Potter—some of your hair, if you please.”

Still, he’s hesitant.

“Now!” Your dad barks, causing Harry to jump ever so slightly.

Silently, Harry brings a hand up to the top of his head and yanks at his hair as hard as he can, effectively pulling tufts of hair out. He barely even winces.

“Good.” Mad-Eye limps over to him, his prosthetic clanging against the white tiles. He waves the flask in front of him. “Straight in here, if you please.”

He drops them in and as the potion bubbles and sizzles, Ron and Hermione take a glance over his shoulders.

“Right then, all the fake Potters line up over here, then.” Mad-Eye grunts.

Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, and Fleur casually line up in the kitchen like they aren’t participating in something that might just kill them.

You also notice someone missing.

“We’re one short.” Remus observes.

“Here.” Hagrid grunts, shoving his way through, practically dragging Mundungus by the collar of his brown and dirty robes. He’s placed next to Fleur, who promptly shifts to stand between the twins. You don’t blame her.

“I told you,” Mundungus complains. “I’d sooner be a protector.”

“Shut it.” Mad-Eye growls. “As I’ve already told you, you spineless worm, any Death Eater we run into will be aiming to capture Potter, not kill him. Dumbledore always said You-Know-Who would want to finish Potter in person. It’ll be the protectors who have got the most to worry about, the Death Eaters’ll want to kill them.”

A cold chill runs down your spine. You were to be paired with another protector, mostly because your dad wanted you to be protected as well as the Potter you were guarding. In any other situation you would’ve argued against it, that you were more than capable of handling it all on your own, but this was different. You were absolutely terrified of being on your own.

It’s quiet as Mad-Eye pours the Polyjuice Potion into separate glasses. When the six of them drink the space is filled with gags and gasps as they morph into Harry Potter.

The Harry’s being to change, but you’re too caught up in your own thoughts to pay attention to any witty remarks. Anxiety courses through your veins and your foot taps against the floor.

When all of them are done, Mad-Eye starts announcing the pairs.

“The pairs will be as follows.” He declares, one eyes trained in the parchment in front of him, the other gazing at everyone. “Mundungus will be traveling with me by broom—“

“Why am I with you?” Demands a Harry in the back.

“Because you’re the one that needs watching!” You shout, glaring at the form that now backs away.

“Arthur and Fred—“

“I’m George!” Laughs one of the Harry’s. “Can’t even tell us apart when we’re Harry!”

“Sorry, George—“

“I’m only yanking your wand, I’m Fred really—“

“Enough messing around!” Mad-Eye growls. “The other one—Fred or George or whoever you are—you’re with Remus.”

You bump shoulders with the man next to you.

“Miss Delacour—“

“I’m taking Fleur on a thestral.” Bill interjects. “She’s not that fond of brooms.”

“Miss Granger with Kingsley and (Y/n), again on a thestral—“

Hermione smiles warmly at you and Kingsley, though it’s actually Harry’s crooked grin.

You aren’t surprised with who your father’s paired you with, Kingsley was honestly the only person he trusted with his life. He felt safest with the two of you together. And Hermione was resourceful as well, making the three of you probably the best team.

“Which leaves you and me, Ron!” Tonk’s cheers, hair fluctuating between pink and orange.

Ron, however, doesn’t look too pleased with the setup.

Harry and Hagrid are of course paired up together on his motorbike.

“I make it three minutes until we’re supposed to leave.” Your father grunts, glancing at his pocket watch. “No point locking the back door, it won’t keep the Death Eaters out when they come looking...come on...”

You turn to Remus, eyes suddenly brimming with tears. The lump in your throat makes it hard to breathe.

“You stay safe, alright?” You whisper, voice cracking.

“Hey, look at me, love.” He utters softly. A finger rests on the bottom of your chin, faces close together. Reluctantly you bring your gaze up to his own honey brown ones, shining with unshed tears. “We’ll be alright, yeah? We’ll be fine.” He tried his best to be convincing, he really does, but it falls flat.

Whatever movement is happening around you fades away.

“I love you, Remus.” You force out almost breathlessly. You might tell him this everyday but he needs to know. He needs to understand it.

“I love you, (Y/n).” He kisses you, lips chapped against your own, but it doesn’t even matter. “I’ll see you soon.”

Hesitantly, the two of you part, him to one of the twins and you to your father.

While everyone else is preparing and saying possibly their final words, your father stands alone, surveying the space.

“Let me have a look at you, yeah?” He grunts, eyes raking over your figure as you approach. “Just like your mother.”

“Mum probably would’ve thought this was a stupid idea too.” You attempt to joke.

You father rests his heavy hands on your shoulders, the weight oddly comforting.

“Yeah well, she thought all my plans were stupid.” He mutters. “She’d be proud, y’know? Fighting for what’s right.”

Your lip trembles which your father notices immediately.

“Oh, c’mere.” He wraps his arms around you, engulfing you in a rare hug.

Alastor “Mad-Eye” Moody was the best Auror out there with a tough exterior that frightened most to death, but he was always a soft and caring father when it came to you.

“Don’t cry, (Y/n), hm?” His scruffy chin rests on top of your head. “I love ya, I know I don’t say it too often, but I do. I’m so proud...” His own gruff voice catches at the end.

“I love you too, dad.” You sniff, pulling away and wiping your eyes with your sleeves. “You’ll be alright with Mundungus?”

“Eh, the little bastard’s harmless.” He shrugs, trying to wipe his own eye quickly. “If you don’t come back in one piece, Kingsley’ll never see the light of day, though.”

“Wouldn’t expect anything less from you.” You chuckle.

Mad-Eye glances at his watch. “Damnit.” He mutters. “We’ve got to go. Stay safe, (Y/n).”

“You too, dad.” You reply, making your way to Hermione and Kingsley at your ride.

Your thestral is dark and practically skin and bone like usual. Being in two iterations of the Order of the Phoenix has unfortunately granted you to see threstrals in all their hauntingly beautiful glory.

“Good luck, everyone!” Mad-Eye shouts. “See you all in about an hour at the Burrow! On the count of three. One...two...THREE!”

You hang on tightly to the Harry in front of you, Kingsley guiding the animal to soar into the night sky, the wind almost taking your breath away. You have your wand at the ready, pointing into the void.

Hands shake both from the cold atmosphere and the nerves running through you.

All you do is blink, and five hooded figures have you surrounded, deathly close to you.

“We’ve got company!” You shout over the roaring wind.

You and Hermione fire off spells, Kingsley trying to multitask, but getting away from the cloaked figures was a bit more important.

The two of you try to dodge the best you can, but it’s hard when you’re sitting on the back of a horse.

You don’t know what you cast in the moment, but your body seizes and suddenly one drops like an anvil to the ground below.

The bone chilling feeling of death overtakes you and You-Know-Who, shrouded in a black cloak, quickly rushes past the three of you.

The battle seems like it lasts forever, the back and forth of spells almost unbearable, but eventually you make it to your meeting point, completely exhausted.

•

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