#Remove Mold

[marzipanandminutiae]

so I saw someone characterizing the (bullshit, unnecessary, oh my god you didn't even stick to the visual change in the epilogue section) makeover in the movie Enchanted as "Giselle looking like a grown woman instead of a little girl playing dress-up"

and like. I don't know. I'm having Feelings about that

for reference, here's what she spent most of the movie wearing:

and this:

and here's the "made-over" look:

(god it doesn't even FIT THE ACTRESS FLATTERINGLY I hate this look so incredibly much she looks like a grape Flintstones ice cream pop)

now, I see why this commenter said the first looks were childish. one has a long flowy skirt for everyday attire, her hair has flowers and ribbons in it for both, the fabrics are pastel with a floral print- all things that are a far cry from the sleek, muted or neutral vision we have of adulthood nowadays

and I HATE that those things read as "childish" to me. I hate that I can see it. because they didn't always come across that way, and they shouldn't. there's nothing inherently juvenile about decorated, pretty clothing

This is a dress for an adult woman c. 1863

this is a (formal) suit for an adult man c. 1770

This is a fashion plate from 1886

and that's just western fashion from relatively recent history- cultures all over the world have loved decorating clothing, accessories, furniture, and spaces intended for mixed-age or entirely adult use

there's nothing innately childish about bright or pastel colors (or even jewel tones- Adult Clothing seems to comprise nothing but neutrals, these days). or flowers. or ribbons. or just...decorated clothing, at all. why do we see it that way? how much joy are we robbing ourselves of in a quest to be Perfectly Mature by an incredibly exacting standard that didn't even exist for most of human history?

[flecks-of-stardust]

[ID in alt text]

hi sorry still obsessed with this gif i got. it's so funny to me. my baby's little feets sticking out. the pearl in their hands. the slime mold 'walking.' the neuron glow receding. earlier i laughed so hard it hurt and it's still just as funny now watching this help

[dougielombax]

J. K. Rowling and the Curse of the Black Mold.

[moghedien]

ok but as a white person who grew up in a rice eating culture (Cajun), hearing other white people who didn’t grow up eating rice often talk about rice is sometimes the most maddening/insane experience

[injuries-in-dust]

Maybe we should get J K Rowling a gift, as a peace offering?

Something like:

[paradoxbeta]

good morning five pebbles enjoyer

hows the gremlin doing

forgot to answer this until now but the little angel is doing incredible!

[sonknuxadow]

the tails that came with the sonic advent calendar is quite possibly one of my favorite sonic toys i own hes just soooo little guy

[constantvariations]

Adam takes a very specific stance over his fallen foes: boot on their chest, weapon in his hand, and a smirk on his face

You think that's the last thing he ever saw with two eyes?

[ovaruling]

ok seen too many posts about women subjected to moldy berries.

measure out 1 cup of white vinegar and 3 cups of clean water in a large bowl. put the berries in. swim them around for about a minute (edit: the longest i’ve let any berries soak is 3-5 minutes bc otherwise i find they start to disintegrate a bit—ymmv).

rinse the berries once again with clean water to get the vinegar off. dry them and store.

your berries will last much longer trust me…..less food waste, more food taste…..

sincerely, a berry berrible grizzly bear (diet consists sooo much of berries) 🫐🍓🫐

[10piecechickenmcnugget]

these spot the difference games are getting harder and harder

AHAHAHAHAGDHH dungeon meshi reference…

[snarp]

Modern-day home economics classes need to account for modern-day food hygiene issues, such as sippy cup lids.

[714mooshrooms]

my trans guy friend made some jk rowling pride profile pictures if anyone's interested

edited and unedited

[daguerreotyping]

Daguerreotype of an officer of the Richmond Light Artillery, Virginia, USA, c. 1855

[assortedvillainvault]

"#...though everything in me wants to analyse the intersection of power and species in this film I must grit my teeth and acknowledge it is#Not That Deep and british ecology will have no meaning in a fun little film adaptation from the 50's"

No, please keep talking. This is the shit I live for! Okay, we know the truth is that is makes zero sense, but trying to make sense of it sounds very fun.

My own tuppence worth on the subject is just noting that the film would have taken place only about 100 years after the Norman invasion, which presumably in this Disney animal 'verse means that lions and other non-native predators would have been in every major position of power for all of living memory. It makes me wonder if Marian being a fox could mean she was descended from and Anglo-Saxon noble line that was deposed by the Normans. This could then add to the reading of invasive species (the rich and nobility) harming the entire ecosystem of society by over-exploiting native species.

So we have a story of the trickster non-apex predator who fits into this ecosystem, who belongs there due to having a place in the multi-species (multicultural) society versus the invasive apex predator who is a symbol of royalty, divinely appointed, and yet he is very much not a real part of this community he would nevertheless rule.

As a Brit, it's pretty reflective of how the nobility of the UK still works nigh on 900 years on. It's not anti-immigrant (see the bloody tortoise character, which is definitely a non-native species) but I read it as a condemnation of people with power and status who are so removed from the common people they rule that they may as well be of another species from another continent.

King Richard returning at the end kind of undercuts this reading, though, so I am definitely trying to shove my anti-monarchist views into a narrative not made to accommodate them.

Anyway, please share your thoughts on this, I need someone else to go way too deep into things with!

@the-phony-king-of-england

You are both wonderful, terrible enablers and I adore you.

Honestly Lancre you've pretty much nailed the historical implications I was trying to articulate in my own brain - that of the rich being animals that do not suit the area they're occupying.

Be warned I'm going to expand on this via an ecological wandering ramble below with no clear conclusion, so yay???

This. Gets. LONG.

(Also I'm shaking hands with you tightly, Brit for Brit on monarchial views here)

Aight ok. Basics first.

The Disney 70's (not 50's, my bad) Robin Hood is a loose adaptation of various folktales regarding Robin of Sherwood, who's tales originate at earliest, from the 1100's, and stretch to the 1500's. Robin as a singular figue never likely existed as just one person, and instead is a conglomerate of various daring, altruistic thief figures of semi-dubious origin. Dubious because this is medieval England and there ain't much to do but get piss drunk and swap tales around the pub fireplace, so there's always an element of inaccuracy and exaggeration for entertainment.

The setting of the story takes place in the city of Nottingham, and the surrounding Sherwood Forest. Both of which still obviously exist, though Nottingham is obviously MUCH larger than it was, and the forest has been reduced to mostly pine plantations and scattered ancient remnants of the original woodland.

There's no map for the medieval borders of the forest becuase officials were relying on collective memory and physially walking around the wood occasionally to demark it's location, but guesstimates would move he green area on the left image to encompass Nottigham and widen the forest eastwards a bit too.

The above reduction in size makes me smad, but that's beside the point. Sherwood in all it's medieval 100,000 acres was a royal wood - permissible to hunt in ONLY for the King and his fave besties. This is a point I'll come back to later. There was 1 (ONE) road to london south through it, and that road was prime time for Robin & co. to do as they do best, as we see in the opening scenes of Disney's adaptation.

The disney adaptation uses anthropomorphic animals to depict the typical robin hood story.

This is where my little conservation-masters-equivalent-certificate having bum starts to get it's knickers in a twist.

Like. I get it. On a folklore and symbolism level, the basic animals make sense. Robin is a red fox, a figure in British folklore often associated with cunning, trickery and swiftness - making him a perfect rackish protagonist, an outlaw with a heart of gold. Foxes are known to steal, and adapt very well to both modern urban environments and the medieval woodlands and fields. Brilliant choice, no notes.

John.

...John.

*deep sigh*

I KNOW. Our national animal and symbol for royalty is a lion. I KNOW. John and Richard being lions is a direct tie in to the lion coat of arms of the Duchy of Aquitaine, one of the ruling families to invade as part of the norman invasion. John even speaks french on occasion in the film, and directly refers to it as 'the norman' way! I GET IT.

That we have not had any lions, much less the african lion alive today, living on our island since the last glaciation period is something I'm still bitterly annoyed about, but whatever. It's fine.

That this also implies that Normandy, aka modern France, has a thriving population of lions running about in some fusion of french temperate flats and the kenyan savannah is something I just have to grit my teeth and nod about, but WHATEVER IT'S F I N E -

*Insert aggressive bardcore accordion music here*

Ugh. Moving on.

Ecologically, and story wise, it would make most sense for the denizens of Nottingham to be anthropomorphised as animals native to the region. And for the most part this holds up. We have the rabbit family, the mice, the owls, blacksmith dog, the singing rooster and Lady Cluck the Chicken, who has my WHOLE heart in this film. Friar Tuck is allegedgly a badger...

...which I doubt, but I'll allow it I guess. (I would prefer the black & white be actually depicted, and for the man to have claws. Let him have his claws he deserves them.)

Then...we have Little John.

British ecology is famous as being incredibly lacking in the modern day, due to a combination of land management changes, hunting, climate change and our being an island nation. All our major carnivores are extinct, and have been for a long time.

John is a brown bear.

Brown bears have been extinct in Britian for over 1000 years.

Even at the earliest possible time of the film, brown bears will have been dead for 200 years. John's existence should have been something almost goddamn-messiah like in this film. Last of the giants type stuff. I'd love for Lancrew's above point of large british animals to have been defeated 100 years prior by Norman invading lions (deeeeeeeep sigh) to hold up here and have John be a last descendant of nobility. He's a common man in all the legends, but it would be a great addition to how he schmoozed John at the archery tournament.

Looking at Johns forces now instead...

...what the FUCK is going on.

This, I GUESS, is an easy hand wavy way to visualise bad guys vs good guys. Cute forest critters vs afro-french (DEEP SIGH) mega herbivores & carnivores shows an obvious power inbalance between the local animals and Johns forces, and explains why the townsfolk can't rise up on their own. Rabbits aren't exactly going to do much against halberd weilding plate armoured legions of Rhinoceros.

BUT GOD ALMIGHTY WE COULD HAVE TRIED FOR EUROPEAN FAUNA, AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT???

Easy stuff first. Sir Hiss looks about 1, maybe 1.5 meters long, is green, and has no allusion to venom in the film. I've got him down as a grass snake, our largest species. Excellent. No notes.

The wolves are also easy. Wolves didn't go exinct in England until the 1500's, and alledgedly survived in Scotland until the 1700's. While I personally dislike the depiction of wolves as purely villainous in media, here the Sheriff and his men are the perfect foils to Robin. A larger canine species, moving in packs and hunting him in his own woods (that he's SQUATTING IN, because the woods are owned by John and the crown!), and exempliying the selfishness of the crown by having the Sheriff be dressed in bright colours, with fashionable sleeves while the townsfolk are in rags.

Also aside from the Friar, who is fat in every depsiction of the story, the Sherriff is noticably overweight compared to his men and the pallid, sickly looking townsfolk. The fact his clothes fit him when he's a body type almost no-one else has is a great further subtle show of proof that he's living indulgently and comfortably in his life of active cruelty enforcing John's will, and has no intention of stopping.

His other soldiers....

...ok. Since Lady Cluck - a chicken - is half the size of brown bear little John, there's some leeway for size. The vultures I think could feasably have been ravens, magpies or crows: still a little subtly morbid still, fitting for guards. Or maybe storks or herons, or even seagulls! To keep the silly antics and mean streak.

I- look. The rhino's are the main kind of guard featured. They're big, they're strong, they're imposing to look at and occasionally bumbling.

European Bison were RIGHT THERE.

Pigs and wild boar are depicted as background characters in a couple of scenes. do. Do you have ANY idea how large wild boar can be? Especially 500+years ago?! These things FUCKED. And they actively fucked you up when they wanted to. This wouldn't even be a case of british animals being wiped out in the wars - these things were prevalent all over Europe!

WHERE ARE THE DEER. The penultimate prey species for large cats?????? Not a single goddamn doe or stag have I seen in this film?? Sherwood Forest was a DEER HUNTING FOREST?! Not even as soldiers, Robin should have been able to help anthropo-medieval Bambi away from the wolves at least once.

I am not going to even fucking talk about the crocodile. Madam, in whose climate? We can barely keep 3 species of finger-length lizard alive through our wet, cold, windy climate, howmst the FUCK-

My only course of action is to admit that at some point in this universes timeline: There rose a kingdom of immense power in East Africa that has since, over many generations, colonised northwards and subjugated/wiped out European ecosystems. They reached the british isles around the medieval period, and now thanks to Prince John and Sir Hiss hypnotising King Richard, they are continuing expansion eastward via the crusades.

The vultures are there to eat the carcasses of the conquered nations armies. There. Evil as fuck but also exonomical.

Do Not Speak to Me About The Raccoons.

As far as I'm concerned these are oddly coloured red squirrels.

I hope you enjoyed this absolutely insane spiel of nonsense.

[fullmoonfireball]

when the collectors doll promo pics have a detail shot for a reused mold 🥰

[selfmadeskinny]

· cravings life hack

if you ever crave something really bad just search up “grosspo”, “disgusting food”, “moldy meals” etc! helps out sm

if you’re craving something special, search up “what-you’re-craving expired” or “what-you’re-craving molded”.

if you still feel hungry after this you disgust me as a human being because you just really just love food too much to lose weight which is kinda sad but someone has to be the fat ones you despise i guess

love u lots sweetheart