#Redacted Camelopardalis
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☆ OLD ART ☆
Dug through the archives and unearthed some old fanart from a few years ago! The first time I drew some of the demons-
Some of my designs have drastically changed over the years, though Gavin remains pretty damn consistent ✨
#And thank god I learned how to render hair properly ffs#Cam’s design has definitely changed the most no doubt#old art#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redactedverse#redacted fanart#redacted fandom#redacted art#redacted demons#redacted daemons#redacted gavin#redacted vega#redacted camelopardalis#redacted cam#redacted warden#redacted regulus#sincerelywhistler
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sometimes babygirl is a man from arizona with a creative mind and a microphone that makes silly boyfriend audios as well as fantasy lore stories that people who are attracted to voices and get overly attached to fictional characters enjoy :))
#anyways#i really wanna give camelopardalis a kith#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redactedverse#redacted verse#redacted fandom#redacted erik#redacted cam#redacted camelopardalis#redacted gavin#redacted lasko#redacted damien#redacted huxley#redacted caelum#redacted vega#redacted hush#redacted blake#redacted elliott#redacted vincent#redacted porter#redacted sam#redacted brachium#redacted david#redacted asher#redacted milo#redacted freelancer#redacted the balance#redacted damn crew#redacted shaw pack
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Redacted Characters Who...
[Vaguely angsty edition]
[I've seen a couple people use this kind of format n thought I'd give it a try,, not sure if I did it right.]
✩ Asher who says “I love you” like punctuation in a sentence. Who tells everyone he loves as often as possible just to make sure they know. Who ends every phone call with “I love you” out of habit because you never know when the last time will be.
✩ Lasko who rambles as a way to get information out as quickly as possible without getting interrupted. Who was taught early in life that his input was less important than his mom's. Who always assumes he's annoying people as soon as he opens his mouth.
✩ David who hates saying “goodbye”. Who says “talk to you later” or “see you at [insert date/event]” instead. Who is superstitious that somehow, if he says goodbye, it'll be the last time.
✩ Elliott who automatically assumes he's unwelcome in any given situation. Who hovers around the outskirts of friendly gatherings, only speaking when spoken to. Who thought for years that Aaron felt the same way about him that their parents did.
✩ Milo who gets uncomfortable around alcohol and cigarettes. Who avoids big events where strangers will be drinking. Who always makes sure people get home safe and has the best hangover cures.
✩ Damien who is an overachiever to make up for his “shortcomings”. Who thinks his personality and emotions are inherently negative traits that need to be balanced out with academic success. Who sent his mom test scores after coming out in a last ditch effort to “make it up to her”.
✩ Gavin who knows he'll outlive everyone he cares about. Who knows he'll never love anyone like he loves Freelancer. Who spent so long without any meaningful relationships that he doesn't know what he'll do once he's alone again.
✩ Huxley who loves with every fiber of his being. Who gives everyone the benefit of the doubt, even when he knows they don't deserve it. Who changed himself for years because he was scared of being “too much”.
✩ Porter who keeps everyone at arm's length. Who pretends to be cold and emotionless to protect the people he cares about. Who has never known a life of comfort and gentleness and doesn't know how to accept one.
✩ Sam who learned to fight so he could survive. Who got caught up with the wrong crowd after escaping Mont Blanc. Who still dreams about the life he could've had if he'd never gotten involved with Alexis.
✩ Camelopardalis who never feels good enough. Who believes his struggles to deal with the traumatic memories he's taken makes him weak. Who feels guilty for needing a therapist.
✩ Guy who wishes he earned more money to provide for Honey. Who regrets his degree every time a publisher rejects him. Who is so grateful that his partner supports his dream despite all the setbacks.
#most of these are kinda built on canon#but some are just me bein a little silly :P#redacted asmr#redacted audio#redacted david#redacted asher#redacted sam#redacted milo#redacted elliott#redacted camelopardalis#redacted gavin#redacted lasko#redacted damien#redacted huxley#redacted porter#redacted guy#redacted headcanons#shea writes
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putting random redacted characters together and rate how well they could get along
everything is strictly platonic !!!!!
porter - geordi : 0%. geordi would get scared of porter tbh, he'd think the brit is a weirdo, would stay as far away as possible
hush - caelum : 50%. surprisingly well ngl! caelum would show hush how humans work and maybe bake cookies with each other? little dude would be terrified knowing what hush can do tho
blake - gavin : absolutely not %. you know how blake thinks of daemons. fight of the century. the gavin-vega fight is nothing compared to this.
morgan - james : 70%. pretty sure they'd try to save the world together, i can see trauma dumping sessions
anton - huxley : 90%. calm, cool guys. discussing being an earth elemental (bc of anton's love uskshsjzh)
guy - vega : 40%. these guys love using words no one understands.
avior - damien : 3%. "why is he so grumpy?" BOTH OF YOU ARE GRUMPY
camelopardalis - brachium : 100%. serenity daemon and ex serenity daemon talk would be so interesting holy SHITTTT
david - aggro : 30%. both furries /lh
#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redactedverse#redacted vega#redacted david#redacted guy#redacted hush#redacted gavin#redacted blake#redacted camelopardalis#redacted caelum#redacted brachium#redacted avior#redacted morgan#redacted james#redacted aggro#redacted anton#redacted huxley#redacted damien#lunya’s thoughts
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Some filled requests from Instagram! I will ofc get around to doing some of y’all requests over here on tumblr too at some point hopefully soon!! Eat up my lovelies <3
#redacted asmr#redacted audio#redactedverse#redacted fanart#tff art#redacted sam#redacted avior#redacted cam#redacted lasko#redacted caelum#sam collins#redacted camelopardalis#lasko moore#clearly I like drawing right facing characters#I should really stop doing that :p
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WHO WAS GONNA TELL ME THAT SOME OF THE GUYS ICONS R FROM WORD....
LIKE...
THESE ARE THEM RIGHT.....?
IM GOING INSANE, ERIK WTF MAN HAS IT BEEN THIS ALL THIS TIME??? JUST WORD ICONS???????
#redacted asmr#redacted audio#redactedverse#I DUNNO EVEN WHAT TO TAG THIS AS#AHHH??"??#redacted milo#redacted huxley#redacted elliott#redacted avior#redacted damien#redacted kody#redacted marcus#redacted regulus#redacted camelopardalis#project meridian
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Yo you know what would be really cool
Camelopardalis sleep aid.
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Got a hankering to do profiles/design sheets for the D(a)emons, minus Delphinus and Scorpius because I don't know them but SOMEDAY
#art#traditional art#fanart#character design#redacted#redactedverse#redacted asmr#redacted audio#redacted gavin#redacted caelum#redacted regulus#redacted crux#redacted avior#redacted cam#redacted camelopardalis#redacted vega#redacted brachium#gavin redacted#caelum redacted#regulus redacted#crux redacted#avior redacted#cam redacted#camelopardalis redacted#vega redacted#brachium redacted#i'm working on orctober too but i'm really pleased with this and want to post it
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Redacted headcanons cuz doing homework is for the weak 💪
Guy had a phase during his highschool days where he was REALLY into psychology and considered getting a degree on it when he goes to college.
Asher called David a sigma once during a pack meeting. It was met with silence and a smack on the back of his head (you decide who did the smacking.)
Vincent teases Sam about doing stereotypical cowboy shit like riding a horse and panning for gold, and Sam just grumbles back as a response because he actually has done those things and can't talk back.
Cam really likes the smell of lavender. He has a small lavender-scented felt ball that he brings everywhere in his pocket and sniffs it to calm his nerves.
Sunshine bites their nails when they're anxious or stressed, and when they were locked in the basement of CloseKnit they almost bite their nails till they bled.
Blue eyes intrigue Caelum. Whenever there's someone with blue eyes is in his general vicinity he stares right at them very intensely.
Damien has some grey hairs because of stress and genetics and the damn crew tease him about it. He also has the grampa shoes.
Honey randomly remembers dumb shit Guys says when they're at work and quietly giggles to themselves because Guy is just a dumb little shit that they love.
Giraffes confuse the hell out of Gavin. He refuses to believe that these long-necked, stubby-horned, cheetah horse donkey creature are just walking around somewhere on this planet.
When he was young, Lasko had bumps on his arms and used to pick on them when he was bored, leaving behind small wounds that would later become small scars.
Milo can spell and also has shit handwriting. Some words he can't spell include, but aren't restricted to: College, giraffe, traffic, cigarette, silhouette, television, suspicious, etc, etc. (He spells etc as ect.)
Thank you for coming to my TedTalk
#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redactedverse#redacted david#redacted sam#redacted guy#redacted lasko#redacted vincent#redacted caelum#redacted asher#redacted camelopardalis#redacted sunshine#redacted damien#redacted damn crew#redacted honey#redacted milo#redacted gavin#I should probably do my homework...#womp womp#my school computer doesn't have emojis :'((#it also spins around to turn into a tablet#it's really weird
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Camelopardalis beloved <3 <3 <3. I love him so.
Cam, as it is probably obvious to see, is based on a deer. He keeps his white freckles in his human form, and they look like deer spots and it's cute. He also has some white face tattoos, which are inspired some of the markings and scars of his stewart. He also has a deer tail I just NEEDED to show in his design. <3. He keeps his human look without the horns and tail basically always, since he works so much with humans, but he keeps his star marking always visible through his pants or on them. :3. Also his necklace has 1 bead for every person who has finished his treatment and been healed by him, which he constantly tries to add to. It means the world to him that he can help others... it's what he wants to spend all his life doing.
#redacted asmr#redacted audio#redactedverse#redacted camelopardalis#character design#redacted character design#vegaly art
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Colors I think the different d(a)emon types would be!
Empathy Daemons: Pastels and white
Serenity Daemons: Dark greens, blues, and maybe some purples
Sadism Demons: Dark reds and oranges
Desire Demons: pinks, purples, and magentas
Shock Demons: Bright oranges, yellows, and sometimes reds
Strife Demons: Deep and muted reds and blues
Misery Demons: Blacks and grays or muted colors
Fear Demons: bright or muted blues and purples
Elation Demons: pinks, reds and yellows
Inchoate Demons: can be any color but the color is always a medium tone
#im having d(a)emon brainrot#help#i love them all so much#redacted asmr#redacted audio#redactedverse#redacted daemons#redacted demons#redacted caelum#redacted camelopardalis#redacted brachium#redacted vega#redacted gavin#redacted regulus#redacted avior
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Camelopardalis
Cam who is ethereal. Cam who embraces the celestial aspects of Daemonism. Cam who is bioluminescent. Cam who is like a lil serene sea creature <3
Black & White one for funsies bc I thought it was pretty
#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redactedverse#redacted fanart#redacted fandom#redacted art#redacted camelopardalis#Camelopardalis#ERIK RELEASE HIM#GIVE ME MY SOMBER SERENITY MAN#redacted demons#redacted daemons#sincerelywhistler
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any camelopardalis fans in chat
#redacted asmr#redacted audio#redactedverse#art#illustration#redacted camelopardalis#redacted cam#i have a big ass and an even bigger heart but MAN i cannot get behind cam no matter how hard i try#he has so much potential but specifically me is personally annoyed by the whole dipping at the first sign of distress thang#king you are a mobile therapist do some soul searching or something#people are offering to help you and your first instinct is to put a box over your head and sprint directly into a lamp post#anyway jingle jangle his hair floats bc i think its neat
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Random Redacted Headcanons
✩ David had braces in middle school
✩ Sam loves dark chocolate in any form, especially dark chocolate chips straight from the freezer
✩ Asher hates the way sleeves feel on his arms and almost exclusively wears tank tops if he's wearing a shirt at all
✩ Aggro insists on following Sweetheart everywhere and screams if they close a door in his face
✩ Ollie is the youngest of his siblings
✩ Aaron enjoys trying new colognes and analyzing their scent profiles
✩ Ivan has a standing desk
✩ Vincent and Lovely have absolutely gotten red and blue slurpees respectively and tried to make their tongues purple
✩ Geordi cooks / bakes as his “me time” and gets anxious when anyone else is in the kitchen with him
✩ Guy has strong opinions about pineapple on pizza and will explain the history of “Hawaiian” pizza anytime the subject is brought up
✩ Damien is sensitive to the textures in food so Huxley usually tries the first bite of new foods to make sure the texture is acceptable
✩ Gavin has a soft spot for cheek kisses
✩ Milo hums songs stuck in his head rather than singing them
✩ Lasko prefers tables over booths at restaurants
✩ Camelopardalis enjoys knitting in his free time - Since he doesn't have to wear actual clothes, he usually donates his finished projects
#Couldn't think of a good theme#so here's a little assortment#redacted asmr#redacted audio#redacted david#redacted sam#redacted asher#redacted aggro#redacted sweetheart#redacted ollie#redacted aaron#redacted ivan#redacted vincent#redacted lovely#redacted geordi#redacted guy#redacted damien#redacted huxley#redacted gavin#redacted milo#redacted lasko#redacted camelopardalis#redacted headcanons#shea writes
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BOOM Redacted D(a)emons for your body enjoy !
#izzuku#redacted gavin#redacted asmr#redacted vega#redacted verse#redacted caelum#redacted avior#redacted regulus#redacted camelopardalis
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Ě̸̡̞̱̘̹̮̫͚̯͍͕̟̪͂̀̋̉̾͛̂̑̅͜͝c̴̢̺̟̣̠̤̽͋͒̄̄͂̆̿͗̑̊̒̒̕ḧ̷͇͍͉͉̺͈͙́̀͆̀̒̒̅̒͒̔̽ó̶͔̜��͛̓̂̔̆͌́͆̉͂͘͝͠es of regrets
So! I saw this post from @rivyx (if you like, I can untag you. Just wanna give credit where credit is due):
And I thought:
"Man. It's been a while since I broke my own heart. Oh! Angst between Geordi and Cutie? How about I make Geordi regret for making Cutie believe that they need to multiate and hide the magical part of themselves and even the Empowered world because he doesn't understand a Telepath's needs?"
Hence. This oneshot. Shout out to @moonandstarlightsposts for helping me come up with the title!
(Yes. Yes. I know. Cutie was canonically at fault, too. I just wanna focus on Geordi regretting his actions for a change.)
-
Summary: Second chances come and go. But for Geordi and Cutie, perhaps they should have let it go by.
First comes the awkwardness.
It’s to be expected. A break was decided - no, needed - for the both of them after… well. No point in digging up bad memories. The two of them were heading down a dangerous spiral, and Geordi could no longer ignore the red flags. He’d been through too much to drown in toxicity and abuse again. Whether his partner realised it or not. And that’s the part that crushed his heart. A heart that Geordi painstakingly put back together with liquid gold and long nights of tearful frustrations. He told them about Ben. He told them how his ex callously disregarded his boundaries. And Cutie just -
Therapy was something they agreed to during their break. Geordi needed to address old trauma that re-open like wounds and Cutie -
‘I… I hope this isn’t me coming across as presumptuous, but one of my coworkers is a really good therapist. I think you’ll like him! His name is Cam - ’
‘I still have my old therapist’s number. Um. Thanks, though.’
‘O-Oh! Right. Of course. I should’ve thought of that. I just… never mind.’
That was the last text that Cutie sent. Even after they moved out of his apartment, the two continued to exchange careful messages with one another, awkwardly making sure not to step on each other’s landmines. However, as days gone by, the texts became more and more superficial: ’Morning. Have you eaten?’. ‘Just cereal. Thanks for checking up on me.’ ‘The weather forecast mentioned a thunderstorm. Don’t forget an umbrella, ok?’. When Cutie brought the subject of therapists to the table -
The texts stopped after that.
Geordi had no idea how lonely his existence truly was without Ben and Cutie. The two-bedroom apartment became too big. He cooked too much for a single person. His left side felt too exposed whenever his coworkers dragged him out for drinks and karaoke. It hurts. He has a habit of rubbing his left arm nowadays.
His therapist is a kind woman, the kind that has laugh lines all over her face. Older than him, more at ease with her place in the world, unlike Geordi. She never judges him whenever he finds the courage to unravel before her. Ugly, jagged broken pieces for a heart. Gold and bitter tears for the next few months.
Soon, a year passes.
Something settled within Geordi then. New foundations were built. The world is a little less lonely now that he has opened up to his coworkers, reached out to some cousins on phones and slowly put himself out there again. He had fallen in love with building LEGOs recently. A hobby that happily kept him occupied while a slow, reverb version of Evil by Melanie Martinez plays in the background of the living room.
It took a while, but he finally reached a point and mental headspace to put Cutie back into the equation.
His therapist's words constantly echo in his head, grounding him whenever his fingertips run on the rim of their favourite mug, red with little ladybugs on the ceramic. Witty, funny, confident, mischievous and kind - Cutie’s best would always outshine their worst in Geordi’s eyes. Perhaps that’s why he subconsciously ignores the raising red flags the more and more they tested his boundaries. Anyway, being with Cutie brought out the best of Geordi in return, which he never even knew existed. He loved them, plain and simple. He loves learning about them and their world every day of the week. He was so happy and content whenever they were in his arms. Growing old together was something he thought about when they drove back home from his folks’. Cutie was fast asleep, with their head gently resting against the window of the car. That moment was magical in its own way.
Geordi misses them. His incredible, one-of-a-kind partner.
He thinks about them more often than not nowadays, wondering how therapy is going for them. Had they fallen in love with any new hobbies? Did Cutie make any new friends outside of the Department? If so, he wonders what they’re like.
Thoughts turn to yearning. Yearning turns to Geordi, picking up his phone and texting Cutie first for once.
‘Hey. Good morning. How are you?’
The two of them never used to be awkward when they were a couple. Feeling hopeful, Geordi puts aside his phone as he continues about his day. Fixing himself a hearty lunch using a recipe that he can’t wait to share with Cutie and goes about doing the laundry afterwards. It’s only after his evening shower that a notification lights up on his phone screen.
‘Hey. I’m alright. You?’
Superficial. That’s OK, though. Geordi is not giving up.
The two resume texting every day soon enough as if the distance weren’t ever there. It makes him happy to be updated with every little thing that is going on in Cutie’s life. He spams GIFs and emojis at every picture they share and they, in return, slowly start to send over recorded audio of their little laughter and quips. It makes him miss them all the more. Enough to replay those audios over and over again whenever he can’t sleep at night. During those nights, his phone would always be on the right side of the bed.
Texting eventually evolves to calling when Geordi wakes up from a rather bad nightmare. Something so vague that it slipped from the recess of his conscious as he panted for air. Without even thinking about it, he presses on a familiar number. His call is answered almost immediately.
“Geordi? Why are you awake around this hour?”
Relief floods into his very being. They once fondly tease him that, no, their voice isn’t magic. Unlike Vampires and their special eyes, Telepaths specialised in minds instead. It’s his love that makes their voice special and it’s love that dispels the lingering nightmare.
“Geordi?” Cutie’s voice is hesitant at the end of the line. “Is everything ok? Do you have someone nearby that you can call for help?”
“No! No, no. I’m fine.” Comes his quick assurance. The shirt that he brought to sleep is drenched in sweat. His hair is matted to his forehead. He feels gross, and yet he doesn’t want to put Cutie on loudspeaker while he cleans himself up. “I just… really miss you. So much.”
Cutie’s reply is a whisper, “I-I miss you too. Can I ask if that’s the reason why you called me?”
“Yeah… had a nightmare; can’t remember what it was about. What I do remember is how you used to bring me to the kitchen, and you’d make warm chocolate milk for the both of us to help. You’d then talked me through it, helped me calm me down. Did I ever thank you for that? Thank you, by the way.”
“You’re welcome. I like taking care of you. And, uh, you did thank me. Always.”
Geordi lets out a ragged sigh. Those happy moments were just what he needed. “Did I wake you up? I didn’t mean to.”
“Nah, you’re good. I was doing some leftover documents for an assignment.”
Cutie never used to stay up past midnight. They like to sleep early whenever they can due to how mentally, emotionally, and physically taxing their job as an intel extraction officer can be. Cutie often rants about how the Department inefficiently run things, especially when it comes to bureaucracy. Perhaps this is one of their new habits? Speaking of which -
“How’s work treating you? Did you get that promotion?”
“Work’s alright. Are you feeling better now?”
Well, his heart was no longer racing, that’s for sure. But he still wants to hear their voice even through the static. “Like magic. You’re always the perfect cure for everything.” He waits for Cutie to laugh in that out-of-breath sort whenever he compliments them. Light and carefree.
Instead, they hum.
“Glad to hear it. Are you going to try and go back to sleep?”
“Only when you are, Cutie.” Geordi tries to flirt and perhaps coax them to rest for the evening.
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll go to bed in a bit. Um. If that’s all - ”
Perhaps it’s because the nightmare that he can no longer recall had something to do with Cutie. Perhaps it’s because he hasn’t heard their voice properly in so, so long. Whatever it is, it gave Geordi a burst of courage. He quickly asks before Cutie can hang up, “Wait, wait! Can I see you, Cutie? I just want to talk. Please?” He swallowed thickly. “I think we’re ready to discuss about… us.”
A thoughtful silence from Cutie.
“I’d like that. Where do you want to meet up?”
Geordi’s night becomes much sweeter after that. They talk and plan until his eyes grow heavy and Cutie’s documents are filed away. They even put him on loudspeaker and brought him to the bathroom so they could continue talking while they showered. God, the sounds of running water alone fill him with wants and images. He can’t stop picturing himself in that shower with them. So you can’t blame how incredibly giddy Geordi is when he finally sees Cutie walk up to the cafe the next day. They offered him a small smile as they made themselves comfortable across the table. Healthy and rocking a new fashion style when Geordi is busy absorbing every little detail about them. He could honestly stare at them like a work of art in the Louvre.
“So I’m here…” Cutie says rather unnecessarily. They scratch their cheek nervously. “You wanted to talk?”
He snaps out of a daze. Shit, he got distracted by his thoughts! For a split second, Geordi can’t help but wonder if they heard his inner ramblings. Judging by Cutie’s guarded expression, he lets out a sigh of relief. It sets his heart at ease to learn about this new side of Cutie. “Yeah. Thanks for agreeing to meet up with me. You look… god, Cutie. You look amazing.”
“Thanks! You’re not too bad on the eye yourself.” Cutie’s smile is wider now. “We’ve practically caught up to speed with each other lives for a while now. So, this is it. Whatever you decide, I’ll respect it this time. I promise.”
That assurance dissolves any doubts that Geordi might have harboured. He’s more sure about his next few words than ever before. “I still want us to be together, Cutie. That never changed. Even when we were on a break, I had no one else. I love you, even when you broke my heart. Do you… do you still feel the same?”
Cutie reaches out to hold his hand, which is gripping a fork so tightly. He didn’t even realise it. The moment when skin meets skin, a familiar warmth spread across his arm. It’s like sunshine thawing out the chills in his bone marrow. He lets go of the fork in favour of holding their hand and squeezes it. “My feelings haven’t changed too. I love you so damn much, Geordi. I know I said it before, but I’m so sorry for hurting you. Words alone aren’t enough to promise you that I won’t do it again, but I’ll make sure my actions make up for it. From now on, you’ll lead where this relationship is going. I’ll follow” Steely determination glimmers behind Cutie’s eyes. God, they look so hot! Would his therapist finally judge him if he asked Cutie to drag him to the bathroom for a quickie? It’s been too long since they’re in him.
“Geordi? Are you ok? You look flush.” Some of that hesitation creeps back into Cutie. Dimming that spark of fire. He panics when their hand tugs back.
“Yeah! Sorry. My head’s a bit of a mess.” He begins to explain. Here, he lowered his voice; his eyes lidded. “Maybe you can make sense of it? You might like what you find, Cutie…”
“Oh!” For some reason, Cutie looks positively alarmed. A deer in a headlight. He had never seen that kind of look on their face before. Their sudden reaction threw Geordi off guard. Any lustful thoughts are completely replaced with concern now. “Maybe later. So, uh, where do we go from here? I can’t move back in just yet due to my apartment lease. Or do you want things to stay as they are right now for a little while longer?”
Continue this distance between them? Geordi doesn’t think he’s that strong of a man.
“Feel free to move in any time you can. My place is your home. You know that.”
That gorgeous smile slowly returns. This is Cutie at their best. After that day, things begin falling into place without a hitch. Cutie is back in his life. They bring their clothes and toiletries over when their lease is up -
“You kept my mug?”
“Of course I did, silly. Why would I throw it out?”
“Right… right. Sorry.”
“Cutie? Is something wrong?”
“Nah, don’t worry about it. Say, that recipe you bookmarked earlier, why don’t you let me take a crack at it? I’ll handle dinner tonight!”
- their routines fall into one once more, and Geordi couldn’t be happier. His world is no longer filled with silence and bitterness.
Second comes the realisation.
Geordi has been riding high on cloud nine ever since Cutie settled back into his apartment, into his life. Waking up to their sleeping face feels like a dream that he never wants to end. Their giggling when he rouses them with kisses is a bonus. He loves greeting the morning sun with a partner who is happy and satiated from the night before. And if Cutie is in the mood to play? Well! He’s more than happy to ruin the sheets for the third time in the span of six hours.
And don’t even get him started on domestic bliss.
Since Cutie’s work hours are a lot more flexible than Geordi’s, he’s forever grateful that they always have a pot of hot coffee ready for him on the table and a sweet kiss before he dashes out for the day. If he returns before traffic picks up in the evening, the couple would either go out for a dinner date or stay at home and binge-watch a new series while they eat in the living room. They alternate in cooking and cleaning depending on their schedule, but Cutie seems to have a habit of doing both whenever they can. The coworkers that he invited over for DnD sessions would whistle and nudge him on the shoulder when they looked around the spotless apartment, praising him for scoring the perfect partner after Cutie left them with a tray of snacks and drinks. Internally, Geordi preens.
When the weekends roll around, and it’s just the two of them lazying together in their sweats and old t-shirts, Geordi and Cutie would spend time together by combining their new hobbies. Geordi would lose himself in another LEGO building project while Cutie reads a novel on their phone on the couch. His favourite playlists play on and on, wrapping the couple in a peaceful cocoon.
That is until -
Geordi blinks, back in the present, when he suddenly hears the sliding door of the balcony softly shut. He sees Cutie outside talking on the phone, their back against him. He watches them moving their free hand animatedly for a few seconds longer before focusing back on the tower that he had been building. When the sliding door shuts again, he absentmindedly asks, “Hey, Cutie? What are you in the mood for lunch? Do you want to go to that Chinese restaurant down the street or…” His words trail off the moment he notices the frustrated lines on his partner's forehead. Their eyes were exhausted all of a sudden. Before he could say anything, his partner flashed an apologetic smile.
“Work called. Something came up. I need to step out in a bit, but I should have some time to make lunch - ”
Geordi stops them right there and then. He doesn’t want them to get more stressed out, especially when an emergency - he assumed - just happened. “No, no. Don’t sweat it. How about you go get ready while I make us lunch? I’d rather you have something in your stomach before you leave.” He replies, already up on his feet.
Deer in a headlight on Cutie. Again. What’s going on? “I can do it. It’s your rest day after all - ”
“Nu-uh. You just get your pretty ass in the shower, alright? I’ll have your favourites ready as soon as you step out of our bedroom door again.” Geordi assures them, but in reality? He’s so confused. They never so stressed out about cooking before. Seriously, what’s going on?
Cutie eventually nods. They kiss him on the cheek and make a beeline for the bathroom while Geordi takes out a wok and spatula. Their strange behaviour remains in his mind as he makes spicy stir-fry noodles. Now that he thinks about it, they’ve been going along with everything he likes nowadays. Cooking his favourite meals, making sure the laundry is clean and folded, helping him with the LEGOs, hanging out with his friends and letting him initiate intimacy and sex every time. They laugh when he tells jokes, as cheesy as they are. Apart from their clothes and toiletries, they haven’t brought back their Digimon plushies, or any of their physical books on the shelves. They hate horror movies, but when he absentmindedly suggests they watch Saint Maud, they agree without any hesitation.
It’s like they’re a satellite, faithfully orbiting Geordi’s every need and want. Why… why did he never notice that before? And when was the last time they went out to Cutie’s favourite restaurant again? When was the last time they did what Cutie wanted for a change?
Ah. Geordi remembers now. It was before they went on a break.
Something’s wrong with Cutie. Shit! Why didn’t he notice it before!? Was he truly caught up in his own world that he utterly neglected his partner’s?
The noodles are hot and plated, ready on the table, but Geordi feels so cold and empty. Guilt was heavy in his stomach. His grin is stiff when Cutie finally emerges wearing their standard work fit. Even in black slacks and a white collared shirt, Cutie looks like a model ready for the runway. They tuck into their meal, but Geordi doesn’t have much appetite for it. So many thoughts clash with one another in his head like angry hornets. He doesn’t even know where to start or what to ask. At times like this, Cutie would slip into his mind and act as his anchor. But ever since they got back together again -
“What time would you be coming home?” Is what comes out from Geordi’s lips, frustrated with himself.
Cutie stops washing their dishes to turn around. “If all goes well? In the evening. Probably before midnight, so you don’t have to wait up or put aside dinner for me. I can just grab something when I leave the office.”
And that’s another thing that Geordi just now realised. They don’t talk about work as much as they did before. When asked, sure, Cutie would always answer him, but it was never more than a, “Oh, my cases? Some old, same old.”, “These documents are pretty boring, actually. Something for the higher-ups to keep in their record.”, “The therapist I mentioned before? Oh, you mean Cam? He’s still working on the floor above mine.” Lukewarm. Tepid. Those are the kinds of replies that Cutie would often give him before the conversation seamlessly shifts to another topic.
Not once have they performed magic around him. In fact, ever since they got back together again, Cutie’s voice is constantly absent in his mind.
Suddenly, Geordi feels sick. He forces himself to put on a brave face, a mask that tells his partner that everything is alright, because their eyebrows begin to furrow in hesitation.
And now he knows why.
“Call me when you leave?” Geordi tries not to plead. His voice didn’t crack, that good. The last thing he wants is to get the love of his life in trouble with their superiors. They never did tell him if they received that promotion or not.
It’s a bittersweet victory when Cutie smiles again. “Sure! Have fun with your project, baby.”
They exchange a long kiss; he wonders if they find it weird that Geordi is reluctant to pull their lips away from him. He weeps and weeps into his hands when they leave the apartment. What has he done? Oh god, Cutie… he didn’t mean to. He didn’t mean to drive them into cutting a part of themselves in order to make him happy. He didn’t mean to be so blinded when they made themselves smaller and smaller if that’s what they thought would make him happy. Would let them stay in his life.
He didn’t mean to hurt Cutie. He didn’t mean for any of this to happen! He thought that - he had hoped they got better, not - why couldn’t they just talk - has he become Ben?
Mrs Potato Head plays on and on while Geordi struggles to breathe.
Finally, in comes the heartbreak.
Geordi didn’t even wait for Cutie to come back. The moment he regained control of himself, he ran out with his phone and wallet. His eyes are rimmed-red, just like the setting sun behind him. He knows which streets are veiled against people like him; he just hopes he can ask for help from any Empowered folks who might be entering the Department. He has to fix this. He desperately needs to talk to Cutie. He needs them to know that he loves every part of them, that he loves the magical world as much as they do.
However, when he cuts through the park, he freezes.
Sitting on a bench a little further from the playground is his partner, crying in the arms of a stranger. Cracks begin to form in Geordi’s heart. He’s too far away to hear what they’re saying, but judging from how the stranger does the talking and Cutie sighs and sniffles, it clued him in pretty quickly that they’re talking through him via telepathy. The stranger smiles sadly and offers them a handkerchief. His body language is serene, but the expression on his beautiful face is tight and worried. Is he a coworker? Another lover? Geordi doesn’t know what to believe anymore. Stricken, he watches them pat the stranger’s hand and gathers up their things. Leaving him on the bench as Cutie makes their way out of the park.
It’s at that moment that Geordi’s phone rings. He answers the call without a word.
“Hey, baby. Just left the office.” Cutie’s voice is hoarse. They clear their throat. This time, they sound more like themselves again - fake and bright. “Turns out one of the interns needed a stand-in instructor for tomorrow’s fieldwork. Since I’m on the way home, do you want me to grab anything?”
Geordi watches them wait at the same bus stop from which he just got off. “Why haven’t you talked to me through my head?”
“…Geordi, I’m out right now. Can we maybe talk about this at home?”
“OK. Why have you stopped ironing your work clothes with your hands?”
“I-I like using your new iron instead. What’s going on, Geordi? Did I do something wrong? Look, tell me how I can fix it, please? I don’t… I don’t know what I did wrong…”
Is this how it will always be when they’re together? Hurting each other whether they mean to or not? Acts of love turning into subservience?
The weaker side of him can’t help but wonder if it was a mistake for him and Cutie to get back together again if it means new sorrows and new regrets will always sour their relationship.
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