#Reasons why I could never have castiel as my main favourite character

[transgendercastiel]

I am a cheetah and Troy and abed are the dogs they put in my enclosure to keep me from going insane

[robotlesbianjavert]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

oh it's been forever since i got a top characters ask - this has probably changed a lot since i last considered a definitive top ten. and actually this has tormented me a lot. had to kill a lot of darlings. oof. not actually definitive this could probably change a lot.

10) it's a really good thing i never got into Supernatural when the fandom was in its heyday i think there would be something wrong with me if i did. anyways november 5th unlatched something in me and i do think that Castiel is real and alive and gay out there in the universe in a way that precious few characters can lay claim to. everyone please respect him.

9) Battleborn is a dead game and a dead fandom which i grieve all the time, not least because it meant one of the greatest yuris of all time was lost from knowledge. anyways i love Galilea for largely gay reasons - tall woman in armor sword and shield, intense relationship of deep friendship and betrayal with Ambra, being a knight templar cursed by eldritch powers. i miss her. we truly lost something great. being so trapped between duty and love that it rips you apart for the rest of your existence. insane.

8) when Locus from Red vs Blue was first introduced like i kneeeeewwww they were gonna do something with him and also he had a sexy voice (tragically the voice actor turned out to be a dick.) and my knowing paid off. i love it when a character tries to abdicate their autonomy in order to escape their crimes but ultimately can't it's soooooo juicy.

7) Beast Wars has so many insanely good characters who are all my favourites and it is so so so hard to ever choose among them. but Blackarachnia claws her way to the top. funny enough it's a point where i think the show failed with her character that pushed her to the top - a large part of her characterization is trying to win and protect her autonomy/individuality, and "proving grounds" is such a triumphant climax of that. but she's also stuck in a toy commercial and needed a new design to sell so "crossing the rubicon" had to happen. it's something about how she had to be literally knocked out for the writers to make that upgrade happen that's both infuriating, but also speaks to how strong she is as a character.

6) Denji & Power from Chainsaw Man, do not separate them. i'm actually incapable of separating them. i have a lot of beloved characters from csm - makima, aki, kobeni, asa, yuko, it's probably easier to name the ones i don't like - but denji and power as both individual characters and as a relationship in the story is so important to me. denji was a character i actively didn't think i would love as much until the narrative gut punched me so hard with the full breadth of his story and development. power i always knew i would love, and it paid off i was so pleased with her and chapter 90 was pure euphoria for me. i need to see them together again so much.

5) Eleanor from The Haunting of Hill House, SPECIFICALLY the novel not the tv show, the tv show is nothing to me. she's anxiety incarnate she's trying too hard she's a uhaul lesbian she's a jealous paranoid waif of a woman but this house loves and accepts and wants her so she'll let it have her. there are a lot of parts of eleanor that are painfully familiar and no one will ever understand her like me. certainly not mike flanagan.

4) Community is one of my favourite tv shows, and in a similar way to beast wars there's so many characters that i love love love. but Shirley is actually a very easy choice. a choice with a lot of hang-ups as shirley is easily the most mistreated and least developed of the main long-term cast and every day i imagine myself shaking dan harmon violently saying hey if you were so proud of have half a room of female writers maybe you should have a) kept going with that and b) make less of them right. there's so much ground that could have been covered with her anger issues and past alcoholism, her crossed paths with jeff as kids, finding herself outside of being a wife and a mother, and they just struggled to really do right by her. but also she's so cute the way she says "i'm so sorryyyyy" in competitive ecology. kills me all the time.

3) i have written 18 spinaraki fics with more in my wips and i think it's fair to say that Spinner from Boku no Hero Academia is an all time forever favourite character for me, just barely edging out over shigaraki. obviously spinner is a gay little evil henchman so that clinches it. but also it's just like - seeing him go from a nothing character that could have easily have been written out, to being given his own plotline and character arc about trying to find meaning and purpose and ultimately finding it in caring SO HARD about one weird guy. and he's so moe. i believe in him.

2) jose from cybersix but i can't talk about it.

anyways i'm actually really at killing my darlings so really quick a couple of runner ups based on long-term history vs faves with a recency bias.

Runner-Ups Based on Intense & Passionate History

mr lahey from trailer park boys; enrico from stravaganza; bulk & skull from power rangers; jason voorhees from friday the 13th; redcloak from order of the stick; gob from arrested development; soundwave from transformers (franchise-wide); harvey dent from batman: the animated series; hardison & sophie from leverage; rabbit from winnie the pooh; cobra commander from gi joe; hyde from jekyll and hyde; griffin from the invisible man; bosola from duchess of malfi; masquerade & gus from bakugan; claptrap from borderlands; hook-handed man from a series of unfortunate events; kaiba from yu-gi-oh; rorschach & laurie from watchmen; stephanie and reverend putty from moral orel; demidevimon & impmon from digimon; quickstrike, inferno, dinobot, and rattrap from beast wars; chang & abed from community; cybersix from cybersix; shigaraki and honestly all of the lov & mla in bnha; six & makoto from bnha: vigilantes.

Runner Ups Based on Recency Bias

jessica from cannibal farm; mimi from psycho goreman; oj from nope; barbara howard from abbott elementary; evelyn & joy from eeaao; kinsey from the strangers: prey at night; misty, taissa, and shauna from yellowjackets; eva from monster; akagi from kimeno jihen; dimple from mp100; uma from disney's descendant (a movie series i have not watched. but i like her sooo much.)

okay with all that off my chest, my most number one favourite character of all time ever.

1 ) Meowth from Pokemon he's my best friend.

[tasteslikemolecules]

1, 12, 45?

1. Which season has the best aesthetic? Why does it resonate to you? I was almost going to say season 8 (the bleakness, the church, spitting blood, Sam's sick face, etc) but then I remembered the soft filter flashbacks, so I'd have to go with the Americana vibe of the really early seasons instead, season 1 & 2. I generally think both seasons are a bit overrated but the vibe and the aesthetics are amazing. I love how bleak it is and how vast and empty the roads they drive on. I love the dark filter. And as much as I love Cas, and I really do, I liked when everything was up in the air. Heaven, hell, it's all metaphysical guesswork, not real places you can just waltz in and out of. Death is a scary concept because it's final. Demons are scary and angels probably don't exist, they're not friends and lovers. It’s just a lot more cool than anything that comes after. 

12. Which season do you think is best written? Which is your favourite? Season 4 is best written, followed by 3 and 5 (depening on the day, 3 might be first) and they also happen to be my favourite. There's not one bad episode in the 4th season and I love Sam's arc so much. It's the one season where the main arc is best-developed from beginning to end; the main arc and the MOTWs are really well-combined. I like some arcs of later seasons even more, but they never really get to shine as much, and there'll be lots of episodes in between that you could just cut and drop in anywhere else in the season and it would still make just as much sense. In season 4 you need every episode (minus the comic relief ones, but those are actually great here too! And give some well-needed breathing room). The pacing is unparralled. I also really love season 8/9. And there are parts of season 7 and 13 (and 14) that have my favourite arcs and if they had gotten more space, would have made for perfect seasons. But when the later seasons are bad they are just so bad. On a whole different level than early seasons bad. So is 13.21 one of the most moving things I've ever seen on a TV show? Absolutely. But that season also has a lot of Ketch and people from other worlds with no character development whatsoever that I'm supposed to care about, walking around worlds I don't care about. In later seasons the show is actually boring at points, and that's just hard to excuse.

45. At what point do you think the characters started getting OOC, or do you think they never were?

That's a difficult one to answer, because whenever I think a character is OOC, I try to come up with intricate reasons why their actions could still make sense and are not OOC after all. But it's getting difficult to do that at some points in season 14 and 15.

I think Dean's moments where we’re supposed to think he cares about Jack are so bafflingly inconsistent with the story they're telling over the last three seasons, that I can only see them as some sort of self delusion and/or him trying to occasionally appease Sam, because he knows Sam cares about Jack. 

There's a lot of that self delusion element in the later seasons in general, mostly about the way the others see and approach Dean. And in some parts that's interesting, but it's also obvious that this is not some clever meta comment from the show but bad writing that we're trying to find excuses for. This is also true for Dean's and Sam's feelings about their father. Sure, I can buy that they have complex feelings about him, but it goes from 'he's the best Dad ever, he did the best he could in a difficult situation' to 'Dean had to protect Sam from John and is scared what happens when he's forced to leave them alone'. These can't be both true at once. There's also so many moments in the show where Castiel is acting OOC that I'd say his characterisation varies and flactuates so strongly that there's no real consistent 'in character' over all seasons in the first place.

[crowmero]

MCL UL final review

2020 was the year I took the resolution to make peace with MCL and the last thing I wanted to do before taking a break from the game was finishing UL season. I also wanted to follow tetrakys example just to make it more meaningful for me.

For starters I want to thank my boyfriend because he just got super interested to know more about all the games I enjoy or used to and just encouragement to keep playing if I feel like having a hour for myself to enjoy something because he knew how I was super busy and worn out with work at the time. I think he deserves credit on this because he was there supporting me in all this process and was the truly person who would hear me talk and rant about the game and hype with me at a time I didn’t have anyone to hear me because everything was complicated and some of my friends who played the game were also trying to come to terms in their own private way. It was wonderful to have someone cheering me in a positive way, to enjoy the things I wanted to have fun with without regrets. Thank you my dear!.

I feel like 2020 and 2021 have a impact in my general relationship with otome games, between some of my favorites games ending and me slowly drifting away from them. I feel like I’m not the same person that I used to be and that things have changed too, but I don’t feel bad about it. I wish eventually I could go back to many of the games that I used to enjoy but I wonder if in the future there would be another game that would make me hype so much and I that I would devote and dedicate as much of myself as I used to.

Also a lot happened since 2018 and how much hurted for all what happened with MCL. I was tired of feeling bad about it so I felt like I have to come to terms with it. I have carried a lot of weight for other things in my life but never for a game. Is the first time that something like this didn’t worked as a way to cope but more as a way to hurt us. I do wonder a lot of things but are things that probably will never know. The only thing that could have made perfect my way out from the game if that we weren't in the middle of covid and trapped at home.

All that said, let's start talking about every topic on the list below:

LIs and routes

Non-LI characters

Favourite episode

Favourite scene

Favorite Outfit and/or Favourite illustration

Conclusions

LIs and routes

Priya

Priya was my main LI and the one I was more excited about when UL launched before knowing the true about who she was replacing. I’ve get to date her and fulfilled that fantasy. This was the season were we got to know her better, apart from knowing that she was not that good with art (and working on it) and that she loved to write fiction in her free time. I loved that she got more context to her motivations on becoming a lawyer and her family past life on india. 

I think for me, the flirting was subtle but it was enough to understand, or maybe was because I was into her since many others just viewed her as a good friend. But that was also actually cool for me, it was cool to have at ally, specially with the assault situation at the start of the game. She was fierce and protective and smart and caring. 

But also I felt like the game keep pushing her aside or putting her in the back burner. Several times I was quite annoyed for the little time we get to spend with her (I mean, yes this was a general issue with all the LI’s since all five have to make an appearance in the short span of the episode) and the game will cheat on me when we have a good moment at her side making her run away because he needs to do/to be somewhere else. 

I think since the season focused too much on Nath, Priya was one of the characters that got neglected and the sad part is that we actually had time in the last episodes that could had be filled with more trivia, more learning about her. We also didn’t get to meet her parents or family and get to know more about her past than what was said.

Hyun

Hyun is a character I didn’t expect to like on the long run but ended appreciating a lot. He become my second favorite after Priya. I think was the character that got me more confort looking at his illustrations. I wish I knew him better and I think he deserved more, it makes me feel bad that people look down on him as a character. 

He is really nice! I really have a change of heart with him. I get that the game will push him onto us, but he is not bad at all. He is really thoughtful and worries about Candy and has cute details with her. Also my boyfriend is like him *shot*. I don't really get the hate on him, I think is just because he is the most normal of the love interest, thus why people find him boring or plain (because he is not a rockstar, not a bad guy, not our teacher). 

So he is like "the safe guy" you choice in real life because he is not full of BS and drama, he is just normal and tame, and some people just want that, but I get that doesn't work as a fantasy for some people. He is the guy who is prepared for everything and is there for you if you need him. Still impressed to where Hyun finds the strength to organize a party after all the stress with the thesis and cook for a whole army.

Castiel

I have really few thoughts for Castiel since my Candy and him don’t liked each other much in high school and the few moments I came to feel ok with him was because he was Lysandre’s best friend (My Candy’s LI). He  really changed, he become more calm and collected and overall mature while he softened his original nature. It was a surprise he was not the first to start a fight but Nathaniel. I think I was lucky to spend time with him since he was more busy with his own life and personal business.

There were really sweet moments from him like when he give us his old MP3  while we are in the infirmary, and some more chill like when we are waiting for the oral presentation at the end of the season and we share some company. We also find that he tries something with Candy if we’re not dating him, so that was unexpected and thrilling, it was a surprise he have this feelings for Candy or he wondered for her all this time. On the bad side, he tried to patronize Candy sometimes or just butt in Candy’s business with unrequested help and I’m glad Candy called him out on that.

Rayan

I don't find him creepy, I was actually interested in him because I'm almost his age and I find also interest in more older characters like him. Also I reflected that I can relate to him in some personal stuff (My thing wasn't as tragic, but I can understand him). Sadly I think his personality type is not for me and that's why I was kinda disappointed. What I was thinking that could have worked better with him is that instead of making him feel interest for our character since the start, for me would be more natural that our character makes the first move instead. So in that way, people who wanted to go for him from the start could unlock this path and players who don't want that, just carry on without worrying about him. I understand that people could change his mind over the course of the game and choosing his path from the start could be extreme, but also the option in episode 8 was not better. I don't think that an option like the one I suggest is that crazy. Overall, I don't think he was creepy, he just feel odd for me, and everything happening with him in a romantic way just didn't make sense if you're not into him, even the drama is pointless. Also It's weird because I don't feel he is the creepy type at all, he was just victim of the writers who forced everyones to be in love with Candy from the start instead of just building a relationship more naturally. But yeah, they needed to move the story quickly, no time to bother that much.

Nathaniel

While revisiting my past notes about him, I more come to the conclusion that I really hated him and his guts in this season. It was worse because this whole season focus on him and how much he changed as a person. I was forced to deal with him and... I saw that as a waste of my time and AP.

I think Candy was really reasonable with him (I clearly remember how Candy would confront him and he just will go on circles and nonsense to try to avoid giving answers while acting like a poor lost soul). I also had to put with his nasty behavior and babysitting him when things got worse like when he was stabbed. Like at some point I couldn’t care less but the game would keep shoving him on my face.

I’m surprised myself of having a heavy negative opinion about him. The sad thing is that despite my Candy being dragged in his whereabouts, being dragged for other characters like Amber (because Candy is the salt of the earth) to look for him and all the things, at the end Nath manages to disentangle himself all alone without our help or presence needed, and I understand how disappointing that was.

Like I feel sorry for the poor souls who loved Nathaniel in HS just to have a alien put on his skin and be someone completely different. I know this change also helped to bring attention to new players who love this kind of characters or he acted as a replacement for the old players in the crowd who needed to fill the gap that the old deleted characters left.

Non-LI characters

Chani was my favorite and I think was the favorite for many on this season. She became one of Candy’s BF and she also is caring, smart and supporting. I loved her own whole aesthetic and vibe, I wish I could have such a good and interesting friend like her. The episodes I enjoyed the most involved her (included all the weird trio wet dream haha) and she actually make me feel better and reassured in general while confronting all the bad arcs and misfortunes of the season. She also gift to us a pretty amulet and was one of the few extra items we got for free like in the HS times.

Yeleen was a character than for starters I really wanted to get to know better and become friends with. It makes me sad all the hate she received and also I got myself some angry person calling me out for liking her (that was awkward buddy). But i loved her developed and how she changed as a person. The bad side is that I wished we could develop a more intimate relationship with her, but I’m happy with the good influence that was Candy for her and she take the bull by the horns at the end of the season. Her farewell letter was really touching.

A side character I liked from the beginning was Morgan because he was pretty handsome and I wish we knew more about him since he was also good vibes but got eclipseted when he becomes Alexy’s boyfriend. I still remember when we though he was Kentin in the trailer.

I don’t really have positive opinions for the rest of the cast or I just really don’t care much. The other character that got a bit of redemption in my eyes was Rosa. It was hard to be friends with her because how much she changed as a person but also how much her new self contradicted with her past self. It was worse because she was there supporting and cheering my relationship with Lysander since she was dating his brother Leigh in HS but in UL was pushing me to look somewhere else. It was also weird for me to be hanging of with Leigh but not Lysander when we weren’t that close to Leigh in the past. I still believe that what happened to Rosa (the drama!) It was done so that we felt pity and sympathy for her. The thing that probably make me feel better about her was when she organized that date at the beach for my Candy and Priya, it was sweet, it was the moment when I really felt guilty about how I feel about her.

We should talk about Amber and how much of a failed and inexistent redemption arc was that? Adding that when we got on the topic of cyberbullying she got to be on the spotlight but we couldn’t talk about what happened in HS. Also she was dragged my Candy around for the sake of Nathaniel and she also give us a big scare when she faints in that bathroom stall...

Favourite episode

For some reason, Episode 11 got good grades from my part as chillest long trip (I HAVE TO TRUST MY OWN SELF ON THIS) but of course Episode 16 was second best because the sex dates (If only we didn’t have to deal with Nath at the start of the episode...)

Episode 11 really got me thinking in a lot of things and make me remember some good memories. Chani was incredible in this episode, she really cares a lot about Candy. I wish a moment to chill right now the same way Candy and Chani go out to eat sushi and to the snake room, I miss doing this kind of things before Covid hit my country and everyone. In the same way, Chani has some very wise words to offer, things right now are so crazy and been stuck at home is just making everything just worse, taking care of you mental health is difficult, social media doesn't help either (Rosa did the smart call there deleting her social media) and fandom spaces right now are not doing that well.

In general, I enjoyed how chill was everything for Candy and how she focused more on herself than the rest of the world. Like I wish she focused more on herself that in trying to save the world. All with Castiel was a trip from start to finish. All the description of the new video got me thinking in whatever video from MTV from the 2000's! I'm also surprised with how smooth he was in the scene in the apartment, was not difficult to me to imagine all the situation, and for a moment I wanted, really wanted to go his way, but since Priya is waiting for me and because I didn't expect of my HS mate to be soo into Candy, I stopped and leave. Was a interesting develope. It also got me thinking how some old classmates would think very different of me right now that from the child I was 15 years ago.

An well, we got to the Priya's moment, and... I really don't get why all that jealousy with Tara haha, my Candy is not like that at all, BUT I really wished more time with her (I know, the drama), but this episode really got us the perfect ending we didn't get in the past episode, just my Candy chilling, hugging and kissing her beloved.

When I played episode 16 at first was with Priya and later did a replay with Hyun and honestly, Hyun date was bananas! I wish I could do all the dates to see how they play because all look cool on their own way. I didn't expect my Candy to be this horny for Priya (?).

After the traumatic events in the start of the episode, we get to chill with Chani because she is such a good friend and she also craft us an amulet to protect us from all the terrible things that happen   Everything gets better in our date with Priya. We celebrate that she would be able to do her bar exam and we spend the day chilling on the park chatting, but Candy falls asleep in the middle lol. Priya invite us to spend the night since her roomie left for vacation. Our Candy reveals she still owns her HS underwear (?) so she proceeds to buy new one (I know underwear is expensive but five years is a lot, those things have holes already). We cross paths with Hyun and is hilarious, he was so embarrassed lol. Back in our date, time to get really nervous. I'm loving that all this characters are now into horror (Thanks Chino!) and Priya propose to watch " The haunting of Hill House". Anyway, it was hilarious how everything played because Candy rEaLly WanT It! but at the end, Priya falls asleep and Candy is too self conscious of Priya sleeping half naked next to her that she couldn't close her eyes all night long. Then morning arrives and everything gets really hot and yeah, I didn't expect that Candy was that thirsty omg. Coolest ending.

--

Hyun date was bananas! I have to say it again because was so fun and cute all along: the fact that Candy surprised Hyun in the Cosy Bear since he have to work that day, that he is up to solve conflict with actual talking when we got a cheating scare, that he is a good person to helps people, even novices in online games. Yeah we also learned his weird thing for shoes that don’t reflect in his actual fashion lol. AND THE DATE! It was so hilarious that they were about to watch the wrong version of Toy Story! POOR HYUN! This dude was fucking prepared for the day, he brought everything in that magic bag, the ending was hot and satisfying, he really surprised me.

Favourite scene

NATHANIEL SHOWS IN THE MIDDLE OF CANDY’S STUDY SESSION WITH EVERYONE THERE AND PRIYA IS ABOUT TO KILL HIM BECAUSE MY CANDY CONFIDED ON HER AND NATH IS COMPLETELY CLUELESS ABOUT IT AAAAH YEAAAAW!

This was the indiscutible winner because despite there was great moments to talk about, this was the only that really make me feel actual excitement for this game (IS WEIRD I KNOW!).

Favorite Outfit and/or Favourite illustration 

Illustrations

This priya Illu is one of my favorite among the rest.

This one was when I noticed Hyun’s great body.

This is illu with Priya is also very sweet too.

I felt really touched with this illu with Hyun.

Candy’s expression is so funny.

This was one of the cutes too and really funny<3

Honorable mention

I think this was one of the most controversial Illus we got and hot too.

OUTFITS

Ep 5 & 6 (and I forgot to add Ep 4!) but a big part of this season clothes were incredible.

Ep 11 & 12

Ep 15 & 20

Honorable mention

Ep 9 party!

Conclusions

Was I angry and disappointed when I started UL?

Yes

Have I made peace with it?

Yes, that’s what I wanted to achieve doing this. I also feel like there is not much I can do or think at this point, I’m kind of resigned.

Did this stop me from enjoying UL?

The “angry and disappointed” part sure played into my original run and perception of the game. I think that this was the case for many others since the wounds were open fresh at that time. But it really took me until the middle and end of the third season (!) to change my perspective (aka like 2-3 years later). I would said that after all that time what bothered me the most that was stopping my enjoyment of the game was how long it takes to play it for free and how that limits you from the whole game experience.

Would I have enjoyed it more if BV hadn’t done us so dirty?

Of course! I ended enjoying the change of tone. I do think many players were precisely looking forward to see our favorite characters in a different phase of their lives. When the company lied to us is when everything burned. I think is a matter of opinion at this point: if Lys, Armin and Kentin stayed, I wonder how people would have taken this whole season since there was a lot of negative critic and people saying that it was for the best that the old boys weren’t there because they probably would have ended totally changed like Nathaniel. They also could have ended in the back burner like the new LI’s and that also wouldn’t be fair. But I’m not sure how much of that negative critic is fueled by resentment or is biased by nostalgia since many didn’t bothered to play and just took what others were telling them without making their own opinion. For me was important to make my own opinion.

This season had their ups and downs, was hard to navigate with all the imposed changes, it was baffling to see how all the characters changed for good or bad, the dialogue options we got where I couldn’t relate at times especially at the begin, the thoughts on reflecting in all the very good things we got that also make me think I wished Lysander was around for all that.

I definitely don’t like the idea of replacing Lysander with Priya, both characters were unique in their own way and both deserved love and respect. Now that the first generation of My Candy Love ended it’s weird to be in this position were everyone is throwing a party around you in slow motion and feeling you don’t belong there because you weren’t lucky enough when picking your LI.

I was thinking on coming around at some point to play LL in the future (who knows) despite right now I don’t think I can make myself to do that and because I have the feeling that I will got more of what I got from UL. UL ending was fitting for me as a “what if...” My Candy got a different path in life where Lysander is not around and having the extra of looking forward to a happy bright future. I still sincerely wish that I could have had more than what we got.

[fanfic-corner]

Slow Burn

You ever want to read a fic that is probably as long (or longer) than a book series, but not have the main love interests kiss until chapter 300? Then you probably have some issues, but I'm not a therapist, so here we go.

Stand By Me by whelvenwings on AO3. (31,252 words).

Tags: Zombie Apocalypse AU, Post-Apocalypse, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Sharing a Bed, Slow Dancing, Smut, First Kiss, Canon-Typical Violence, Touch-Starved Dean, Love Confessions.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Dean Winchester has been alone for a long, long time. When he and Castiel happen to find each other - a couple of survivors in a world that’s been all but wiped clean - Dean’s looking for his brother; Castiel is looking for something to look for. They stick together, because neither of them much wants to be alone. They hate each other at first, of course. Dean hates Castiel for being weird and quiet and ironic and antagonistic and proud. Castiel hates Dean for being blunt and reckless and coarse, for drinking, for refusing to talk about how he feels and just pretending everything is fine. Most of all, they hate themselves and each other just for being alive. What right do they have to be alive? No one else seems to be. But against his own will, Dean starts to notice things about Castiel that he likes. Starts to hope that Castiel might like him, too. And together, they start to fight for a world where they're both alive - and that's a good thing.

Notes: One of the first fics I ever read, and one of my faves! The ending was slightly unsatisfying, but not so much that I would drop a star.

Angel's Wild by LimonadeGaby and riseofthefallenone on AO3. (389,271 words).

Tags: Alternate Universe, Wingfic, Hurt/Comfort, Wing Kink, Slow Build, Slow Burn.

My Rating: 5 stars. (If I could give it more, I would).

Description: But that’s the whole reason he’s here, isn’t it? He’s not out here hunting Humans. He’s not even hunting deer, or bears, or anything else that featured in Bambi. He’s out here, freezing his nuts off every night, because he’s hunting Angels. Sometimes Dean wishes that Angels were like how they’re described in the Bible. How people from time too old for him to care much about thought Angels were messengers and warriors of God, protectors of Humans. He knows that how they’re really described in the Bible is actually pretty terrifying, but at least they were told by God that they’re supposed to love Humans, right? That’s a thousand times better than what Angels really turned out to be.

Notes: I would be lying if I said I didn’t read all these slow burn fics just so I could rec this. I would also be lying if I said this wasn’t my favourite fic of all time. The pining is so intense it is practically unbearable to read. Honestly, I don’t care if you think it is too long or it isn’t really your thing; I would rec this to anyone with ears. I will still be reccing this in Hell. It is absolutely phenomenal.

a turn of the earth by mishcollin on AO3. (95,274 words).

Tags: Time Travel, Slow Burn, Canon Divergence, POV Dean Winchester, Alteration of s10 lore, Homophobic Language, Smut, Pining Dean, Preseries Dean, Mutual Pining.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run. Frigging fantastic.

Notes: An absolutely excellent plot, which is excellently written, and is somehow simultaneously angsty and adorable.

Forget-Me-Not Blues by noangelsinthegarrison on AO3. (68,689 words).

Tags: Romantic Comedy, Firefighter Dean, Professor Castiel, Weddings, Misunderstandings, High School AU, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Angst, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Sam and Jess are getting married and Dean couldn’t be any happier for them. Honestly, they’re kind of disgustingly perfect for each other and Dean’s pretty damn excited about staying with them the week before the wedding. He’s Sam’s best man, of course, and he doesn’t even mind that Jess has her own best man to share in all the organisational duties. The more the merrier, right?Except Dean must have done something to epically piss off the universe because Jess’s best man just happens to be Castiel friggin’ Novak. He’s got even hotter since High School, but apparently no friendlier and if Cas wants to spend the week pretending like they’ve never met before? Fine. Two can play at that game.

Notes: Jesus Christ, I have not read a single fic which sums up exactly how stupid Dean and Cas can be sometimes. I loved it.

the cost of a thing by quiettewandering on AO3. (74,198 words).

Tags: Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fake Marriage, Human Castiel, Protective Dean Winchester, Touch-Starved Castiel, Mutual Pining, Jealous Dean Winchester, Slow Burn, Depressed Castiel, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Sharing a Bed.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: 16 months ago, Cas became human.12 months ago, Cas left the bunker and a broken-hearted Dean behind. Now they must work a case together, where married couples are dying mysterious deaths and the only way to earn the neighbors' trust is by pretending to be married. Slowly, Dean finds that he loves being in a relationship with Cas, fake or not, and Cas finds his loneliness retreating, despite the harsh reality looming right around the corner. As Dean and Cas navigate this fake, but all too real, relationship, can they find the monster that is on a mysteriously motivated killing spree before it’s too late?

Notes: So cute! All the angst! My favourite trope! (So many exclamation marks!)

In All Your Borrowed Finery by vanishingact on AO3. (67,950 words).

Tags: Winged Dean Winchester, Winged Sam Winchester, Winged Castiel, Winged Gabriel, Spells & Enchantments, Hunters & Hunting, Case Fic, Harpies, Canon-Typical Violence, Major Character Injury, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Fluff and Humor and Smut and Angst, Wingfic, Fanart. My Rating: 5 stars. Description: Dean finds an interesting symbol in Kevin's angel tablet notes and, against Sam's counselling, uses it in the heat of battle with a pair of angelic assassins. Side effects include pain, disorientation, and uncontrollable new appendages for the Winchesters. A disgruntled Castiel and a delighted Gabriel show up to help. Hunting (and life) gets interesting when wings are involved.  Notes: Okay this was literally adorable and you can not convince me otherwise. Every time I read a fic with everyone’s favourite archangel, I miss him just a bit more. (This fic is slightly more Sabriel than Destiel, but only by a little).

In This Secluded Spot I Respond As I Wouldn't Elsewhere by RhymePhile on AO3. (33,953 words).

Tags: Modern Setting AU, Teenage AU, High Scool AU, Romance, Best Friends, First Love, First Kiss, Slow Build, Minor Violence, Bullying, Homophobia, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Protective Dean Winchester, Texas, Slow Burn, Coming Out, Fluff and Angst, No Sex, Dean Winchester and Sam Winchester are Raised Separately, Mary Winchester Lives, Artist Castiel, Nerd Castiel, Grieving Castiel, Jock Dean Winchester.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: It's 1995, and Castiel's high school years are destined to be difficult: home-schooled until eighth grade, he is awkward, shy, and socially inept. The weird kid with the funny name would rather isolate himself and draw in his sketchbook than deal with the constant bullying he faces every day. Things only get worse in his junior year when he excels in home economics class, leading the captain of the baseball team, Alastair, to start taunting him for being gay.Then new student Dean Winchester arrives at Flour Bluff High School, sharing many of Castiel's classes. Castiel has seen his type before -- handsome, athletic, arrogant, and sure to be the most popular kid in school. But Castiel eventually learns that he and Dean have more in common than he thought, and they form an unlikely friendship.

Notes: Pretty cute, and I did enjoy reading it. Not sure why like half the slow burn fics are set in a high school, but hey.

'Star Wars is Overrated' by leftdragonpainter on AO3. (38,186 words).

Tags: Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Pining, Drinking, Writer Castiel, Mechanic Dean, Neighbours, Swearing, Winchester Logic, Big Brother Gabriel, Clueless Dean, College Student Sam, Awkward Dates, Slow Burn, Injured Sam, Emotional Constipation, Angst, Confessions, Smut, Drunk Texting, Love Confessions, Temporary Amnesia, Angst and Humor.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: When Dean Winchester turned sixteen he was disappointed by the words that appeared on his chest. He never expected that it would take so much to find his soulmate. He never expected to not remember meeting them...

Notes: Every time I thought I knew what was gonna happen in this fic, something completely different happened. I think I have whiplash (but I love it!).

The Elysium High by EllenOfOz on AO3. (44,768 words).

Tags: Post-Apocalypse AU, Los Angeles, Dystopia AU, Angels are Dicks, Addict Sam Winchester, Recreational Drug Use, Witch Sam Winchester, Detective AU, Confused Castiel, Drugged Sex, Slow Burn, Cyborg Castiel.

My Rating: 3 stars.

Description: In the not-too-distant future, climate change has wreaked havoc on the city of Los Angeles. When sea levels rose, and the Los Angeles Basin began to flood regularly like many coastal areas around the world, the population of the city moved up, off the ground and into the scrapers. Many years later, the city is divided into three rough zones: the Topzone, where the very wealthy live in the sunlight; the Midzone, where those of the less-well-off population live amid the flying traffic, the smog and their coffee addictions; and the Groundzone, what's left at close to ground level—dim, grimy and occasionally very wet. Sam and Dean Winchester are drug investigators in the LAPD. During a bust, Dean is saved by Castiel, one of the mysterious Angels, the elite fighting unit of the LA City Council. When Castiel insists on taking Dean to Paradise because he says they have work for him, Dean has little choice but to go along. But when a new drug, “Elysium”, hits the scene, people all over the city start dying. The brothers and Castiel must work out where the drug is coming from and stop its spread before it's too late.

Notes: There was nothing wrong about this fic, it just wasn’t really my cup of tea. I found the fic that it reminded me of though; I Know A Place by whelvenwings. It is fairly similar, but in my opinion a tad better.

So there we go: slow burns! And if you’re thinking, ‘Lina, where are all the ridiculously long ones? I want them to have their first kiss 300 chapters in?’ just know that I do not have the patience or the time for that. Mostly the patience. Okay, maybe I avoided them because they make me want to smash my phone. Whatever. Another day, maybe.

[deathisourbitchh]

Okay now that I’ve had a day to process I'll start by saying the parts of the episode that brought a smile to my face:

1. Mimepires

2. Miracle

3. Dean asking Sam to just stay with him. (A bitter sweet smile but just seeing his vulnerability was nice.)

4. Dean saying he liked the song "Carry On My Wayward Son"

All of those were nice moments that would've been even nicer if this episode was in anyway good.

The finale of this show appears to be the love-child of the horrific endings of How I Met Your Mother and The Vampire Diaries. Just like HIMYM, you could watch the first ever episode of the show and the finale and feel like you haven't missed out on anything. Just as in The Vampire Diaries, you've got one brother waiting in Heaven while the other lives and long life. And it manages to blow them both out of the park with how horrific this ending was.

Every single character was robbed.

Firstly, Dean Winchester. He starts the series a killer, a hunter, "daddy's blunt weapon". He knows nothing except that he loves his brother and he's going to go out swinging "saving people, hunting things". Then we get 15 years of beautiful character development. We get a best friend in Cas, in Charlie, in Donna, etc. We get Dean finally getting a good father figure who loves him regardless of his hunting skills. Years of trauma and abuse and he slowly starts to learn that he isn't what he thinks he is. The culmination of this ending in Castiel's beautiful goodbye speech in 15x18 and then in 15x19 you see he really took those words to heart, finally realised he was more than hunting, when Chuck said "Dean Winchester, the ultimate killer" and he replies "that's not who I am". And then in 15x20, all of those years of character development is shot in the foot. Dean Winchester, the man who stopped the end of the world on multiple occasions, who stopped God, Lucifer, Michael and so much more was taken down by a D-Grade fight with a throwback villain that no one gives a damn about. Are we really supposed to accept that Dean Winchester was defeated by a rusty nail? He wasn't even trying to protect Sam, it was pointless and unnecessary.

Saying this, I was expecting one of the boys to end up in Heaven so I was willing to accept the rubbish death. But then Dean gets to Heaven, learns his parents are just down the road, learns that Cas is probably around and just... drives around until his brother gets there.

This character deserved so much more than what he got.

Secondly, Sam Winchester. Even if Dean had to die and Sam had to go on without him. Why the Hell did he have to do it alone? Why didn't Sam SPRINT to Eileen the moment he realised Jack had brought everyone back. Why wasn't her name mentioned once? And, if we're to believe the blur of a wife is Eileen, why not show her face? They keep using COVID-19 as an excuse but why was that random vampire from season 1 (or whenever) there? Why not the absolutely beautiful love interest? Eileen is exactly what Sam needed. Before this finale one of my favourite things about Supernatural was the sure and steady revelation that, despite Sam trying with Stanford and Jess, Sam was destined to be a hunter forever. He deserved a hunter wife and possibly be a "retired" hunter with the same responsibilities as Bobby (research, contacts, FBI...). Eileen could've given him the life he deserved but she just got punted off to the side. Sam should've never started his new life alone. He should've had Charlie and Eileen and Donna and Jody and everyone who was a part of their family. After 15 years I guess they've finally proved that family DOES end in blood.

As a side note, I couldn't have been more disinterested in the new Dean Winchester. He got a weird amount of screen time in the life montage.

Thirdly, Castiel was ROBBED. I think it's awful that one of the main characters (and the only reason I personally stuck around) wasn't included in the last two episodes. The last moment the viewers got with Cas was a fake prank call from Lucifer (who, by the way, no one asked for)? Then he got a couple of emotionless mentions and that's it. Cas died never knowing he was loved by anyone. And, allegedly, he's out of the empty to help shape Heaven again. Character development, who? I'm supposed to believe that Castiel, the only character with true free will throughout, didn't choose to 1. Save Dean 2. Let Sam know he was okay 3. RUN to Dean the moment he rocked up in Heaven? No, of course not, because that would mean addressing the beautiful goodbye speech and the romantic "I love you" he gave Dean. Castiel deserved better than a few mentions and a name scratched into a table.

I could go on but I think I've ranted enough. Every single character was given an ending they didn't deserve. They all deserved better. Thank you to the Winchester's "found family" who were thrown to the side. Thank you to the Winchester brothers who went through Hell and back multiple times to just end up exactly where they were in the pilot. Thank you to Castiel, the fan's favourite, who deserved more than being thrown in the Empty after one breath of true happiness. Thank you to Jack who only ever wanted to do right and protect his family and was taken away from them to be a "hands off" God.

Thank you to Supernatural, the show I've stuck with for 10 years. The show that let me down on a weekly basis. I stuck around for the characters and not the storylines and, now, even the characters have been ruined for me.

[maxortecho]

Why do you dislike Michael 👀

Ok first pls know most of my fandom friends like Michael so I don’t want to hurt any feelings 😂 🙏 Under the cut so people don’t have to read it.

Also please no one take this as an opportunity to argue me out of my opinions—it’s been almost 18 months in this fandom so I’ve heard the arguments but my feelings are my feelings at this point.

- A ton of it is Vlamis. I found his acting try hard and obnoxious since his very first scene, and I have continued to feel that way.

- For a lot of S1, it felt like Michael’s main argument was that Max should’ve just let Liz die. I loved Liz since her first scene, so as a defensive Liz stan I always got bothered by this attitude, and then became actively pissed off about it after it was revealed what the pod squad did.

- 1x02 diner scene. That one is massive. I have never been able to get past this scene. The problem with this scene also applies to Isobel for me. I have been in this fandom since 1x01 aired, so I remember when fandom’s main takeaway from this scene was how cool his “chocoholic” line was and that was it. Also some anger about Michael getting punched. No one cared about how Liz was getting treated though. There ended up being some pushback discussion to Michael&Isobel’s behaviour in 1x02 starting around 1x05/1x06, which is also when metas/justifications for the 1x02 scene started popping up. I’ve read basically all of them and disagreed. Still hate it.

- We’ve never gotten an apology (for what happened to Rosa, or the treatment of Liz during S1). Personally, as a viewer, and even as a Max stan back then, I had to work towards forgiving Max after 1x06 aired. And that was ALREADY for the one pod squad character who a) saved Liz at the risk of himself and his family, and b) had been trying to protect Arturo since then (compare this to, say, Michael’s “meh too bad” reaction when Isobel said Arturo was likely going to be targeted by hate crimes that night). Max ultimately won my forgiveness in S1 because he apologised repeatedly, and he ended up handing all the power over to Liz so she could decide how to resolve her feelings about it and whether or not she wanted them to face the consequences. I came back around on Max because I saw genuine remorse. I have never gotten this content from Michael&Isobel so I personally have not had reason to shift in my feelings about them. Given how this show has played out, we’re likely not going to get that content, so I’ll likely always be disinterested in both of them.

- Michael’s violence largely goes unchecked by both the show and the fandom. Personally Michael’s specific displays of violence are triggering for me. Fandom’s refusal to engage with this topic is frustrating; hell, I have read meta that has framed Michael’s form of violence as being “better” because he apparently controls what he’s doing and how far he goes with it and so he knows what he’s doing (never mind that violence is still violence on the receiving end, and that on the receiving end YOU don’t know where it’s going).

- Carina’s been upfront about him being her favourite and it’s becoming more apparent within the show’s content as we go on. The way things are written around him. The effort to centralise him. I’m wary going forward that Liz will continue getting less effort put into her story, vs a character I don’t like increasingly getting more effort and care put into his. That Carina will have a harder time reining in her bias. See also Carina not promoting Jeanine/Liz at all during the hiatus while continually posting about Vlamis/Michael/MA. I’m wary.

- In general, I’m just not digging what the show is putting down with this character. He feels like a bunch of Dean Winchester fanfic tropes thrown together and... okay, even as someone who’s consumed lots and lots of Dean/Castiel and bi!Dean fanfic, I’m bored by it. That Michael&Sanders scene in 2x09? It’s Dean&Bobby from SPN copy and paste. Sometimes Carina’s past fandom history really jumps out, and it’s most obvious with Michael imo. RNM’s writing feels particularly weak around him imo.

[naruhearts]

14x18 First Watch Thoughts: Mary Winchester the Mirror, TFW and Destiel

**FLAILS**

My thoughts are practically incoherent because I’m having BIG FEELS right now...VERY big feels re: TFW/Destiel narratives.

I am SUPER glad Berens was the one who penned Mary’s death!! The episode was just well-done all around from start to finish and intensely executed, with the proper solid balance of angst, emotional insight from the characters placed inside Mary’s cathartic contextual role, and the consistent reiteration of Mary as TFW’s overall Parental Catharsis in 14x18′s storytelling (and S12-14′s whole parental premise in conjunction with John Winchester’s ghost). 

Mary was portrayed as the singular contrasting foil to TFW’s individual and combined arcs. Absence was, obviously, a core theme, with Mary’s absence -- her death -- playing out as A. familial purpose (accountability and her death as the impetus to work together --> forgive each other, forgive yourself), B. self-purpose (self-realization via Jack: what did I do? Why did I do it? Why do we do things?), and C. romantic purpose on the Dean/Cas front. 

Let me explain C. -- well, WE BEEN KNEW. The metasphere wrote about this (my post x).

x

Dean was HEAVILY subtextually framed as the angry spouse undergoing a rough patch with Cas over Mary’s death  (the tension, juxtaposed by sad orchestral strings and soft lighting, Dean lashing out at Cas, romantic framing via Dean’s back turned to Cas, their interactions holding frustration yet still underpinned by certain tenderness etc *sighhhhh*) and Dean continuing down the route of giving Cas, not Sam, frosty shoulders -- emphasized by the romantic visual framing of space between them e.g. Sam preventing Cas from comforting Dean during Mary’s funeral, backs again facing each other, Dean and Cas interacting sparsely, Dean bitter and disengaged, Cas longing for forgiveness from Dean, Sam as the overt brother caught in the middle as he embodies the role of mediator and stable thinker for both of them etc -- just strengthens my belief that Destiel is going to experience another (hopefully) intense romance-coded confrontation as intense as the one they had in the cabin -- one that leads up to a lover’s make-up or some kind of emotional breakthrough/realization which has Cas happy enough to be taken by the Empty (remember, DEAN STILL DOESN’T KNOW ABOUT CAS’ DEAL. Cas’ life to save his son’s life, harking back to Dean’s own fatherly self-sacrificial deal by saying Yes to Michael. He is utterly unaware that he’ll lose Cas) and it’s a double punch here, because Dean will realize how stupid he is for not appreciating Cas -- more accurately, trying to be mutually transparent and honest with him (he has, though, and he’s made leaps and bounds) before it’s too late but failing (final regression before progression). He does appreciate Cas, and Cas means more to him than anyone could ever describe *points at his Mind!Bar 14x10* yet their love languages still don’t align. IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO START ALL OVER AGAIN, DEAN! 14x19 is written by BL so I additionally hope the D/C subtext from this point onwards works in our favour!!

As I said in above and in my liveblog posts, a summary: 

The differences in Dean’s grieving are a COMPLETE visual comparison to 12x23, complete with overhead 📸 shots and differing funeral pyre scenes: when he grieved over Cas, he was alone, kneeling on the ground, and was blatantly numb/emotionally incapacitated – Dean mourned the loss of his lover. When he’s grieving Mary, Sam is by his side. Brothers mourning the loss of their mother. Romantic vs familial.

Overt romance-coded parallels with Sam/Rowena keeping constant contact just like Dean/Cas do both offscreen and onscreen

Sam telling Dean IT WASN’T JUST CAS and his own emotional pull in this ep as expressing accountability for TFW’s actions in general – besides internalizing/talking about the self-guilt, shame, and the inevitable pain of losing people despite saving people (also re: the 🔑 theme of doing the wrong, stupid thing for the right reasons) -- was character development on a marvelous scale. Dean was enlightened and began to admit it himself. Honest, open words. Dean and Cas should learn from him!!

 Cas was absolutely humanized, subsuming the Winchester Way of Bringing Family Back, and he additionally evoked honesty/an emotional justification while admitting his mistakes and again representing FAITH: faith in Jack narratively linked to FAITH IN HIMSELF and the season-long theme of believing there’s another way -- in believing that good things shall come. As he appropriately told Anael last episode -- loneliness is a construct misconstrued by her; not being in one’s physical presence doesn’t mean they aren’t there -- they are there. They are there for you. Narrative symmetry with 14x17′s presence of emotional acknowledgement despite physical absence re: God (and TFW; just because Cas wasn’t with the Winchesters did not mean he loved them any less) vs 14x18′s absence of full-frontal communication despite physical presence re: Dean and Cas/TFW (being physically present also entails being emotionally present through HONESTY). Berens interlinked the subtext. Negative spaces are being filled. And there’s also an Evil/dark dimension added to this Presence vs Absence commentary: Lucifer’s a visage in Jack’s mind, just like Sam. Jack’s soullessness has come to a psychological crux. He’s teeter-tottering – tried desperately to bring Mary back, and now he might have fucked up the natural order (if BTS pics of zombies in 14x20 is linked to this).  Furthermore:

(*clutches chest* There’s the heartbreaking spousal-coded visual narrative.)

Oh, Cas...Jack is BOTH good and evil. This is the intrinsic dualism of human nature. It’s what makes Jack human. And goodness involves badness. 

CAS: [Jack] was good for us. Indeed, we know he was. The unhealthily-codependent-abusive notion of family TFW used to possess (where their overarching parental issues -- Chuck’s absence, John’s abuse and Mary’s absence -- crippled their early formative growth, extending into decades) was deconstructed and rebuilt in healthier ways. Being a parent to Jack offset their true capabilities/qualities: FAITH (Cas), HOPE (Sam), and LOVE (Dean), alongside all the stickiness that came with his birth. By direct association, Cas learned (is learning) how to believe in himself. Sam learned (is learning) how to hope in himself. Dean learned (is learning) how to love himself. Mental/emotional release from their internal chains took place (will come to its final culmination in S15). In other words, Jack the Unifying TFW Mirror -- like Mary -- was the great interpersonal conduit for (a Jesus-figure-representation) honesty, appreciation (spending time with your loved ones), positive vs negative self-process, and self-awareness. Keep in mind that Jack has characteristically taken the place of Dean, Cas and Sam’s own dark arcs (Soulless!Sam, in particular) with what looks like a Godstiel mirror in 14x19 -- he’s literally becoming textualized as TFW’s mirror -- and, like his parents, he is going to make his independent (wayward) choices and question the primacy of human nature: good, evil, and the grey in-between. Will he listen to his head or his heart?  Most of all, Jack taught them that HuntingTM is filled with pain, horror, and death, but genuine purpose lies beyond it. The lives they live are also innumerably interlinked with joy and happiness. These positive things aren’t as sparse as they think: they have each other.

Mary Winchester is ⚰️ and resides in Heaven (her death successfully made me emotional and packed a deep personal punch; the black and white flashbacks interspersed throughout 14x18 relative to Mary’s influence on TFW was A++). She disappeared right when TFW’s arcs came together to display character progression. Her purpose – pushing TFW to engage in self-introspection, personal growth, and honesty with the Self and others – is done.

Mary, the Cas mirror, carved M.W. into the table with S.W and D.W. You know who should be next, right? CASTIEL W. (and Jack W.) (recall that in 14x17, Mary relayed to Dean that she treasured and enjoyed her time with him and Sam -- channeling Cas’ 14x12 farewell speech. Mary has always embodied LOVE, both romantic and familial, with the great virtue of honesty, and Dean, by proxy, has been telling his family he loves them. Again, who is the next family member he’ll say I LOVE YOU to? What do Dean and Cas WANT? Time to answer this question!!)

WE HAVE COME FULL CIRCLE. Narrative cyclism, y’all. Mary and John Winchester are finally at ✌️, and by so doing, TFW will experience emotional/personal/psychological ✌️ as they leave their past behind to create their own optimistic self-actualized future. THERE’LL BE GENUINE PEACE WHEN YOU ARE DONE.

TFW MUST TALK

I mean, I’ll probably reblog this with new thoughts during the next few days, but yes, ENDGAME’S UPON US, and all the extensive meta regarding Dabb Era Love and...Love, Unity, Family, Honesty, the centrality of interpersonal relationships and Reconciliation of the Past & Future since Season New Beginnings 12/13 over Season Who Am I 14 should be realized in the final two ANGST-filled eps. TL;DR a gigantic multilayered soup of character-positive/relationship growth-positive meta coming to fruition for the main plot.

Berens has killed us all. 14x18 is one of my favourite Emotion-centric episodes yet!

RATING: 10/10

Thank you for reading my sloppier-than-usual word-vomit!

[tetrakys]

My Gameplays

I play otome games a lot. Like... a lot.

I also tend to play all the routes whenever possible.

And I usually record myself playing, I’ve just never shared my videos with anyone.

For this reason, I was thinking to start uploading my videos on Youtube. I don’t want to create a real channel and monetize it, I have a day job that keeps me very busy and have no intention of committing to anything serious. But if anyone is interested in any of my gameplays can let me know and I wouldn’t mind sharing the video.

Games I am currently interested in:

My Candy Love: I play all the routes, but on different servers. My main languages are Italian (Rayan and Castiel’s routes) and English (Nath), so in these I could potentially read and comment. I am trying to practice my rusty French while playing Priya’s route, that’s why I am still at episode 6. I play Hyun in Spanish but I automatically google translate so any video would probably look really messy. I am also playing in English a borderline route between Nath and Cas, trying to romance them both at the same time as much as I can (so you know what I am going to do with the ons), I am still playing episode 5 with that so I could potentially upload the next episodes if anyone is interested.

Eldarya: I am almost up-to-date with Nevra and Ezrael. I haven’t played Valkyon and Leiftan’s routes yet, but I am going to start soon. One is going to be in french and the other in english, I haven’t decided which one is going to be which yet. If Lance ever shows up as an option you can bet anything you want that I am going to drop everything and play his route. (I mean... who am I kidding, I am not going to drop anything, I am just going to play his route alongside the others, but I am going to do it pronto).

Sweet Elite: So... about SE I had to think about it for a while. My hoarding nature pushes me to play all the routes, but I can’t... I am trying to learn self moderation ^^’ I am currently playing Axel’s route as a scholar specialising in medicine. I have two other OCs, with one I just started Tadashi’s route as an economics scholar. The third one (math) I haven’t started anything yet but I am kinda intrigued by Tegan, so I am going to play his route. However, if anyone is interested in any other route can tell me and I will think about it, it takes literally 0 effort in convincing me playing another route. It’s like offering crack to a drug addicted.

When the Night Comes: I like this game, but I don’t love it. My first route was August, then I started also playing with Finn. Afterwards, because I am me, I also started Alkar’s. I really don’t like Omen, and I can barely stand Ezra. I like Piper a lot as a friend. My main problem with the game is that there is literally no difference in the build up to the poly and mono routes, the only reason the hunter ends up in a poly route is because they chose to do it, the characters are basically happy with whatever and just go with the flow, I find this irking. Since I am not very invested in this game I am happy to play any route, even Omen but you will probably hear me make fun of him the whole time (it may be funny maybe?)

Voltage games: I used to play a lot of Voltage games, I had dozens on my tablet. Then I stopped and when I tried to play again I found out that I had lost all of them because the app has changed (I am really pissed about it, I bought soooo many). I want to start playing again, maybe a couple of may favourite old ones and a few new titles that look cool. I have no idea how to record these though.

I am also playing random games I find on Steam (if you have any good one to recommend please do!)

So... the point of this is, if you are interested in any of my gameplays you can tell me either here or DM me (I swear don’t bite... usually ;) ) 

[orionsangel86]

Episode Review - 14x01 - Want, Everything, Sunshine, and Beyonce

Hellatus is over everyone! Put away the crack memes and shit posts and bring out your meta caps because we are back in business! Oh boy are we back in business! 

Right before @tinkdw came over to watch the premier with me, we discussed our expectations and both agreed that whilst our expectations were pretty much in our boots, we would consider the episode a success if it was even remotely meta. We wanted to be able to see clearly constructed themes both as a continuation of what had come previously and as a foundation for a strong season going forward. We were both hoping that at least from a meta perspective, that the episode would leave us happy and thirsting for more.

Dabb did not disappoint us.

It was such a strong episode meta-wise. There is a lot to pick apart that is ripe for discussion and I seriously hope that Dabb will keep a close eye on the other writers to ensure that these themes continue throughout the season. Plot-wise it was a weaker episode, but then again Dabb has always focused on the character emotional arcs more than the actual plot points in recent years, and I am grateful for that. The second half of season 13 felt stagnant to me simply because there was little to no character development and from a meta perspective it was also extremely weak. I went into this hellatus feeling negative about the show simply because I hadn’t actually enjoyed an episode properly since 13x12. However, the season 14 opener was most definitely enough to quench my thirst and get me excited for the coming season. Fingers crossed it goes from strength to strength.

Long review under the cut

Michael!Dean - What Do You Want

Straight in after the introductory Nyoooom of Baby (driven by a grim looking Sam and a pretty impressive swap from title music to diegetic music), we are introduced to the angel of the hour. 

8 Things about Michael:

1. I am not sure how I feel about Jensen’s performance right now. He is playing Michael extremely straight and whilst I can see how this cold, calm portrayal can come across quite terrifying, it’s not a carry over from Christian Key’s performance. I don’t want to be too critical, because we only saw him in a few scenes so far, but when I compare it to how Tahmoh portrayed Gadreel alongside Jared, and the way Misha pretty much nailed Mark P’s performance (and greatly improved it), I guess I’m still waiting for Jensen to WOW me in the role. The one thing I will say is that he did terrify me and managed to come across creepy when acting alongside his own WIFE. So he's doing something right I'll give him that. When Jensen wants to have chemistry with someone, he does.

2. I like the fact that Michael’s goal right now seems to be to educate himself on our world. He’s not running around causing terror and mayhem like Lucifer, he’s learning how best to go about “improving” the world. He also appears to be inspiring people with his words: “Holy men, leaders, killers” and we have seen the effect he had already on Kip the Demon - who was inspired to run for King of Hell until Sam Fucking Winchester ruined that plan. I wonder if we will be seeing the fallout of Michael’s specific type of inspiration throughout the season.

3. “What do you want?” Obviously this question is an important one. It was repeated like six times throughout the episode, though never to the main characters. It looks like this is going to be the theme of the season and as far as TFW’s personal journey’s go, this is now the question we are asking them and the question being explored. What does Sam want? Or Cas? Or Dean? This has an endgame flavour to it that has me extremely excited. 

4.Michael’s own personal want of “A better world” is a follow on in a way of many of the villains that have come before him. For seasons now we have been exploring this concept of improving the world for the better. We had it first in season 8 when the brothers had the goal to do the trials to make a world without demons, in season 11 Amara’s vision was to destroy so she could reshape the world to her own blueprints that she saw as better than Chuck’s. Dabb era has been even more obvious, first with the goal of the British Men of Letters being “a world without monsters” which was shared by Mary wanting a better world for her boys, and then in season 13 Jack’s arrival floated the idea of “paradise world” to Castiel. I don’t think Michael is gonna fair any better than any of these others, and wonder exactly where all these escalated versions of “a better world” will end up. It's all exploring the notion that nothing is black and white, but in fact a grey area.

5. I already discussed Michael and Sister Jo here. Cas mirrors... Cas mirrors everywhere... I also side eye the "pretty things" line because it reaks of Dean and his whole sublimation thing. In that sense it seems Dabb is making Jo a mirror for both our boys. I'll be keeping a close eye on her from now on.

6. ”Why would he say yes to you?” “Love”. OH DEAN. Just, Dean wasn’t in this episode but my god did we feel his presence RIGHT HERE. And to think there are people out there that still think this is a macho mans show about macho manly men. I’ve never known another character with more heart than Dean Winchester. This show is about LOVE above all things. I wish people would stop trying to deny that fact.

7. Radioactive Pigeon:

Look I’m not trying to be critical okay it’s very pretty and this is the FIRST time they have attempted showing an angels true form and that is amazeballs and all, but still. He has little pigeon wings and a bent halo. Pfft.

8. The Purity of Vampires. I actually love this. I think it comes across a bit silly on the surface, but the whole idea of monsters being pure is a massive callback to purgatory and season 8 and anything that calls back to season 8 makes me happy. 

Sam Fucking Winchester

Excuse me while I scream HELL YES. I have been waiting for Sam to take on the leadership role for AGES. Honestly this was always my dream endgame for Sam. To organise and lead the hunting community. There’s your better world guys. It was something that the writers flirted with in late season 12, but at the time Sam only took on the position with Dean’s approval and encouragement to go ahead. Sam has always stepped back and let Dean take the lead throughout the show as the big brother and parental figure. I think this was always a role he was destined to fill and something that has been building in the subtext for a long time (much the same way as the toxic codependency has been shown to hold Sam back.) 

What’s of interest here is what will happen when Dean comes back and is fighting fit. Will Sam relinquish his leadership position to Dean? Or fight for it? Will this cause conflict? I read this amazing meta on this which turned into an epic discussion and I highly recommend reading it. My HEART.

Sam’s state in the episode is one of constant motion. He cannot stop for a second, always being pulled from one thing to another. He doesn’t sleep, he doesn’t get to change out of his hideous blue and orange shirt (which is officially now my favourite Sam shirt), he doesn’t even get to finish his soup. I know Jared said that Sam had a ‘grief beard’ but Tink and I are adamant that the beard is simply due to the fact that Sam doesn’t get the time to shave. He has taken so much weight on his shoulders and in amongst that has to deal with horribly traumatic things such as face the face of his abuser and actually be a healer to him. Sam doesn't get a moment to himself and spends all his time concerned about others. It's very noble of him, but he's going through the motions.

Sam is the contrast here to both Cas and Dean, who are physically and mentally stuck in their awful situations. Sam is also stuck in a way, stuck with no time to actually contemplate the situation he has got himself in. Stuck without a moment to breath, or to grieve his brother. Stuck holding the weight of the world on his shoulders as every other single character looks to him for support, help and guidance. Sam is the motherfucking Beyonce of the episode, that is for certain.

He is also calling the shots on hell now...

(x)

... I find it amusing that back in the early days Sam's destiny was to be the boy king of hell, and it's almost like he's fulfilled that destiny, not by being king, but by being gatekeeper and in a position powerful enough to scare the demons into submission. This is probably what Crowley intended. Sam probably owns the moon now.

About Nick - Well, first of all, I TOLD YOU SO. I did say that I could tell the guy from the back of his head and I was damn right about that. Learn to trust me guys I am occasionally good at this stuff. Okay, now that that is out of my system, let’s talk about this. Round of applause for Jared in this scene. Because he takes Sam’s hell trauma extremely seriously and made sure that every nuance, every twitch, was picked up by those camera’s. I loved that. Potentially Nick could be a good way to help Sam heal in the coming season, as Sam has finally freed himself from Lucifer’s grasp. Is it fair that he should have to look after the face that tormented him for years? No. Not at all, but could it prove somewhat cathartic in the end? Maybe. 

At the end of the day, Dabb must have considered Nick to have a purpose beyond “I want to give Bucklemming something to play with so they don’t fuck up my actual story” and “We need to keep stroking Mark P’s ego for some stupid reason”. Because otherwise I am really worried about how limited his power must be, and refuse to entertain the thought that he was overthrown by Singer and his horrid wife. I can see the potential in Nick being a dark mirror for Dean following his freedom from Michael’s possession. How Nick deals with the post possession trauma could be an indicator to how Dean is really coping even when he buries it.

At the same time, both Sam and Cas have been possessed by Lucifer, and therefore have all the experience between them to help Dean’s recovery without needing Nick to get involved. So I dunno guys. I’m trying to see the positive in something I otherwise despise. 

Anyway I thought Jared was fucking superb in that scene and pretty much the whole episode and want to give him a round of applause because it is rare that he truly gets to shine on his own without Jensen by his side.

Now all we need is for Sam to get some sleep. How he is still functioning by the episodes end I will never understand.

Castiel Everything Winchester

(x)

Look at him. So defiant and done. You can almost imagine that fire behind him burning in his eyes as well. He’s such a dom.

Several things about Cas in 14x01:

1. He is 100% done with every demon on the planet and doesn’t give a fuck. Honestly though. The way he says “Oh God” when Kip walks in. The way he rolls his eyes. I wonder if he had Dean’s voice in his head saying “You know who wears sunglasses indoors Cas? Douchebags.” 

2. He is making desperate choices in order to save Dean, which is certainly typical for him. The fact that he spends the entire episode stuck in a chair is a fantastic metaphor for his whole feelings on the situation, a metaphor then reinforced through a mirror at the end when he speaks with Jack (we never get anything explicit with Cas do we?). The fact that Cas can’t save Dean right now is weighing on him, but he is determined to do whatever it takes. The conversation he has with Sam at the end is a brilliantly short but important moment:

“I should never have gone to those demons”

“Cas no I don’t blame you. honestly I wish I had thought of it first. If it meant finding Dean I’d work with.. I’d do anything.”

The takeaway here is that actions speak louder than words. Sam HAS been distracted being leader of the hunters and having to face his own nightmares thanks to Nick, but Cas has literally been doing anything he can with a soul focus on saving Dean. 

It's an intimate moment between them. In a bunker now bustling with life and movement this is the only time in the episode that it really seems still. The library has always been Sam's private space, where he feels most at home - like the kitchen is for Dean. But here he and Cas sit as equals together weighed down by their shared grief. It's the soft moments like this that I love the most about this show. They are both willing to do anything they can, but the difference is that whilst Sam is being pulled in lots of different directions, Cas’s sole focus is Dean. Note that heaven wasn’t mentioned once. It hasn’t even crossed his mind.

3. Everyone Knows, but Cas doesn’t give a shit. 

“How is it you lost Dean, I thought you guys were joined at the... well you know, everything.”

It is an extremely explicit nod to Destiel. It is also the first time a line like this has made it into an episode since season 7 I think. The difference now being that we’ve had years of steady subtext and narrative building on the love story, hence the line has a different weight to those previously. It was very carefully written, careful not to imply that Cas was joined to BOTH Winchesters as the line was specifically about Dean. It was written by the showrunner, who would have known the significance of such a line, it encourages the view that all of heaven and hell have made their own assumptions about Dean and Cas’s relationship, and in case anyone wants to argue that the missing word was “hip” like the saying goes, the gesture and nod by Kip goes to prove otherwise. In other words, there is no platonic interpretation. Which is delightful.

Cas’s completely stoic silence is even more delightful. God I love him.

4. He can’t see demons true faces anymore. Like everyone else, Cas not realising those people were demons really threw me for a moment. Tink and I both agreed that the scene should have had Kip snap his fingers and have the demons smoke in and possess all those people instead - still catching Cas off guard but not making it seem like he is just super unobservant. I personally feel like this was just an error Dabb made. I have no desire to try to meta explain that one and I accept it as the error it is. I do like that it took an entire room of demons and 4 sets of enochian hand cuffs to overpower him though...The fact that he had to sit there and watch his family be beaten and almost killed around him whilst he was helpless again, is an excellent parallel to Dean’s current situation and what he will most likely have to face in the coming episodes, and also a reflection of Cas’s mental state (as mentioned above), Coming out of this episode it seems like this will be another season where Cas and Dean mirror each other and walk similar paths in terms of growth and development - if only those paths would meet with a kiss!

5. He’s the bait. Tink found this line hilarious straight away, where as I had to blink and ask why because I obviously took offence. But once we started discussing it and realised the quadruple entendre it is I found myself applauding Dabb on his genius. Cas IS used as bait, by the SPN PR people. Because he’s Mister Popularity. He’s also the character who causes the most conflict in fandom, with those who love him so much they are bitter and mean and those who simply hate him often complaining about the exact same things but in different ways - leaving the regular fans stuck in the middle (Tink explained this to me with delight - how both anti’s and bitter!cas girls alike will latch onto that line for completely different reasons). He’s also potentially a queerbait depending on how you look at it. But anyway. Cas’s epic eye rolls in this episode were almost enough to rival Sam’s bitchfaces. I am impressed.

6. He takes no pleasure for himself. I am forever going to obsess over Cas’s relationship with human food and drink:

“Coffee has no effect on me.”

“Me either, not anymore. But its like with saltwater taffee or infants, you know I just like the taste”

Although we can argue his refusal is out of stubbornness to not give the demon the satisfaction, even when accepting drinks from the Winchesters he doesn’t usually bother, or will stick with water. Even if he is seen ordering coffee it is usually only to avoid looking suspicious in diners. We know Cas enjoys some food and drink, but Cas rarely allows himself the pleasure. Even in 13x14 when Dean offered him a beer, it remained unopened. A symbolic metaphor for Cas refraining from indulging in other pleasures? This is why I am so so desperate for Michael to ask Cas what it is HE wants. Lucifer stated that Cas was a “pleasureless dullard” and I want to see this theme continue. Cas uses his grace as an excuse not to indulge and I consider this linked to meta about the “sacred oath” of heaven and Cas being duty bound and numbed by his grace. But these are all elements for a bigger meta at another time and the moment in this episode is just another snippet of that.

7. He looks awesome framed in fire. I just really liked the set up of Motown Meats as the new hang out for hell, with its fire pit and orange glowy bar. There is a lot of general symbolism there but I enjoyed the flames framed behind Cas in every shot he was in. Because even though he was mostly stuck in this episode, that fire raging inside him didn’t burn out once. He WILL save Dean. Just as he promised to Jack at the end, even if he get’s battered, beaten and bruised, his determined stubborness to save his husband will win eventually. Cas is no longer the broken thing of seasons 11/12. He well and truly rose like a phoenix in season 13 and now it’s showing through, as it’s a mission fueled by his own passion and love.

Jack Winchester (AKA my nougat son)

Poor Jack, like his father he hasn't had it easy in 14x01. He is struggling with his humanity now, his usefulness, in such a clear mirror to Cas that it kinda hits you in the face. He is desperately seeking guidance from those around him. First in the form of AU Bobby who has clearly bonded with Jack following their experiences together in apocalypse world.

It is great to finally see the Bunker gym! A room we all have ingrained in our fandom hive mind thanks to a 100 destiel fanfics. We all know what's gone on in there. >.>

Throughout the episode, Jack seeks out guidance first with Bobby, which goes badly, then with Sam, which is interrupted, and finally with Cas, which is when he finally gets told what he needs to hear. I am really happy that whilst Jack has so many father figures now, it is Cas who truly holds that torch and is able at least somewhat give Jack what he needs near the episodes end. If only he had damn well given his son a hug!

I loved the conversation so much that I transcripted it here:

JACK: I’m fine.

CAS: You did well

JACK: All I did was get punched. In the face

CAS: To be fair we all got punched in the face

JACK: That’s not - Before when I had my powers I could have done something

CAS: Jack you don’t have your powers, and your grace should regenerate in time, but until then..

JACK: I’m useless. I cant kill demons I cant find Dean and Michael is in our world and I cant stop him.

I can’t do anything. I don’t have anything.

CAS: Oh Jack. That’s just not true. You’ve got me. You have all of us. You have your family.

And we are going to find dean and we are going to beat Michael and we are going to do it together. Because that’s what we do.

This whole conversation was PERFECT. Every line chosen so specifically and weighted with meaning. Urgh Dabb I fucking love you for this.

Jack starts with “I’m fine” which Cas knows by now means you are not fine but he has also learned to recognise that sometimes it doesn’t mean “leave me alone” as Jack was crying out for guidance and support here. 

The mirrored “got punched in the face” calls to attention the fact that Jack is a reflection of Cas himself here and everything he has felt both now and in the past.

Jack’s complaint about being useless without his powers is a fear Cas has carried with him since his fall in season 9. It’s something that still weighs on him and whilst Cas now knows his place by the Winchester’s side, knows that they are a family and that he is not just a hammer, I think that fear of losing his power and being cast out is still well and truly weighing him down. It will be cathartic for Cas to see the family accept Jack as one of their own even if he is “useless” and human. 

Cas’s “That’s just not true” when Jack says he is useless - his voice breaks and you KNOW Cas has had those exact same thoughts.

“you’ve got me, you’ve got all of us. You have your family” compared to You’re my family, I love you, I love all of you” compared to “We're family. We need you. I need you.” The difference is there is no ambiguity in the word ME. Dabb turned it around, but had Cas clear it up. It’s the same line every time. The only difference is the placement of each individual statement. If this isn’t yet another clear example that the “I love you” was specifically directed at Dean I don’t know what is. THIS IS A CONTINUING PATTERN PEOPLE.

The determined promise to save Dean at the end, right after he specifies the singular and plural because obviously Dean was on Cas’s mind at that point - Mister I Don’t Get Words Wrong over here knows exactly what he means.

I love this whole conversation, but as I said above, it drums home the fact that whilst the Winchesters and others may be sources of guidance and support for Jack, he only has one true father, and I think Dabb wanted to make that clear in this episode. Remember:

Fingers crossed for more father/son bonding between these two in future episodes.

Mary and Bobby

(x)

Baring in mind I was expecting 1 small Destiel moment in the episode in the form of a line from a demon. You have NO IDEA how happy this moment between Mary and Bobby made me. If anyone saw that inktober pic I drew for premier day of me and Tink gasping in shock at the screen, it was for THIS moment. My face lit up in delight.

I said at the start of this long review that Dabb picked his moments well. With every second counting from a meta perspective. This was one of those.

Tell me, anyone, when watching that moment, would you deny that there was something between Bobby and Mary? As homework I'd like you all to play this scene to your heteronormative friends and family, or even be brave and ask a bibro. Would ANYONE deny that it was intended to be romantic?! I highly doubt it.

And yet there was nothing textually explicitly romantic about it. There was NOTHING in this scene that hasn’t been filmed a thousand times between Dean and Cas. The fact that Dabb chose to write this extremely small seemingly unimportant moment, in the kitchen, and for Bobby to use THOSE EXACT WORDS. As I have mentioned several times already, Dabb doesn’t fuck around when using well known moments from past canon in order to reinforce the importance of a thing. Dabb LOVES parallels. He wrote Bloodlines after all. He also knows the fandom hive mind and the things we pick up on and latch on to. This was a very smart calculated decision to include this in the episode and I am LIVING that he did it. GIVE ME ALL THE BOBBY x MARY/ DESTIEL PARALLELS. 

...

I actually really liked Mary in this episode. There is so much discourse in fandom about her and whilst I find Sam Smith pretty cold and wooden, I have never understood the utter hatred of Mary as a character. Hence why I praise Dabb’s genius at this moment:

(x)

Because this line literally sums up her entire arc since her return. Tink and I paused the episode and basically flailed at each other because this is EXACTLY what Mary has been trying to do. She was in HEAVEN, with her BABIES and suddenly she is back on earth with two grown men who are strangers to her, telling her they are hunters and have suffered a life of HORRORS without her. So she ran. Hell, I would have ran too. She shoved herself into hunting because all she could think about was trying to make things GOOD for her boys. Trying to FIX her mistakes the only way she knew how: by HUNTING. She was drowning in the bad. So she found focus in trying to make things good. Like in this episode, she reassures Sam so much that he snaps at her. He doesn’t want to be reassured, and that’s fine. But my god this felt like the first time Mary has truly had a voice. I really weren’t kidding when I said that Dabb made sure every word counted.

OTHER THINGS

I am unsure how I feel about the title card:

Tink called it. I think it looks a bit odd, a bit too clean. I like the title cards to be grim and dark. Black angel wings though! And hey, at least the fiery halos in the title cards are perfectly spherical... so we know they CAN do it right...

*side eyes SFX team*

Kip as a wannabe Crowley was kinda fun for a one off episode but I am glad that they are stressing now that wannabe Crowley’s get killed. The last one we had was Bart in 13x08 who was very much the same flirtatious queer coded demon. I’m fed up with the villainous queer coding by now. It’s been done too often. Give me another Demon like Alastair or Ramiel or none at all.

“Asmodeus Kentucky Fried” DID ANYONE LIKE ASMODEUS OTHER THAN BUCKLEMMING? This made me LOL.

The fight scene at the end was really weird and overly long. I dunno why they decided on so many random slow mo and wooosh shots. the whole Mary slow mo throwing the blade at Sam was cringy. I wish they’d stop being experimental and stick with what they know! You think they’d learn after 13x23!

Maggie was a bit annoying. Why bring her along if she can’t fight? Also the random cuts to her reaction after Jack was angsty had me reeling. simply because in het couples that’s a brewing romance and that is a massive NOPE from me. I like her as an individual character, I DO NOT like her as a love interest to a 1 year old, and I certainly wouldn’t like some pining story for her where she falls for an unavailable guy. It’s not fair on her character. The one thing I did like was the “pointy end” comment. It reminded me of Charlie for some reason.

The throw away line about Ketch being in London looking for the golden egg Lucifer/president extractor. Nice closing of a plot hole there Dabb.

I liked the Jesus weapon expert hunter dude. He seemed quirky. Dead man’s blood bullets are an excellent idea. 

DETROIT. Why does everything always happen in Detroit? I swear one day they are gonna reveal that Detroit is like a central universal power hub where the walls between the dimensions are thinnest or something. I could go on about this but I am sure a better meta writer elsewhere already has and this is waaay too long so I’m leaving this here.

If you got this far. Kudos and thank you for sticking around to read my thoughts. Feel free to ask me anything about any of the above. If I could hand out cookies through the internet I totally would right now.

Basically I enjoyed the episode. I have since re-watched it a dozen times and it is really the meta of it all that makes me love it. The story IS weak, and there ARE moments that are a bit odd, or infuriating depending on the way you look at it, but the heart of the episode was classic Dabb. All character driven and full of meaning. I am extremely well fed after this meta feast, perhaps even enough to get me through the horror show that will be Bucklemming’s 14x02. 

So long as Cas continues to look like a sexy beast I’m sure I’ll get through it.

I’ll just leave this here:

God he’s such a dom. :P

[justanearth-boundmisfit]

I'd get torn apart for it if I said it in namespace but to be frank, as a CASTIEL FAN first and foremost, I despise how much of his importance has been tied to a ship in the fandom, because it allows the writers to throw out pairing crumbs occasionally and then do NOTHING with him most of the time, cause fans are happy with those crumbs. if they would stop going nuts over any tiny little (not even real) pairing moment, Cas might have gotten a decent storyline. but alas.

Hi anon! Another message that I’m replying late, sorry for that, I took a day out of SM. I agree with everything you say. And I understand the fear of getting torn apart by the positivity police force. I talked about the crumbs in the previous message, yes it’s just like you say, sadly Cas for a great part of this fandom is only useful as part of destiel. And this is coming from a vintage destiel shipper. I loved what they used to be, I hate what the ship (and tptb and the metas) has done to Cas. 

It was so hurtful that I had to stop watching, the “do it for him” doesn’t work for me anymore. I’m not watching one of my life favourite characters being torn apart, while the majority of the fandom accepts it or just claps because that means “destiel”. Fuck them all, sorry not sorry. I’m not watching how they torture and diminish a beautiful character like Cas because he could/maybe have 3 minutes of interaction with Dean. 

Also I’m not putting myself through the absolute trigger that is watching abusive white males like Lucy/Nick (also pellegrino is a gross fucker sorry not sorry), Ketch and now John having redemption story arcs over and over again. When we could be having a heaven storyline with Cas and sister Jo, for example. But like you say, Cas importance is tied to a ship, a ship that tptb are trying to kill (very successfully I have to add), but also they keep throwing crumbs to the shippers, because they need the numbers. A ship that has become a shadow of what it used to be, and in the process killed metaphorically and literally one of the most amazing characters in the history of television. I would never forgive or forget spn for that, but also I would never forgive and forget hardcore shippers for that either.

That’s also one of the main reasons why destiel is becoming a sore point for me too. Because I see what Cas have been reduced to because of it, and I rage like no tomorrow. And that’s why I had to stop watching too. I’m not going to get tired of repeating it: a show/movie should bring you joy, not only pain, not only hurt. And it’s totally hurtful to see Cas kicked by the show and taken as a ship token by the fandom. I love Cas much more than that. 

Take care anon.

[silverfacedherald]

Happy tenth anniversary to my favourite character in existence. In celebration, here’s a (relatively) short description/explanation of why Castiel is my all-time favourite.

(I’ve been meaning to make this post for over a month now, and I think the timing is more than appropriate now)

Castiel was born made to guard and serve. He is older than time itself.

His family is was because oh wait, there’s barely any left huge, practically all-powerful, and it is messed up. Yet they are his family. The majority of them blindly follow orders, meanwhile he has always thought deeper and felt more for humankind and earth. Secretly one of his sisters was employed in making him forget the intensity of his emotions and compassion, erasing memories and re-setting him in order to turn him into a Good Soldier. But just because there’s bad in his family, doesn’t mean there isn’t also good. There’s Balthazar and Gabriel, Anna and Hannah, Uriel before he turned. We can see that Castiel had ties, good relationships within his family.

And he was practically a general. A leader. A creator of sigils and runes. He was intrusted with top-secret missions, he spearheaded the saving of the Righteous Man, Michael’s Sword. He went into the depths of Hell and flew out yelling to the universe “Dean Winchester is saved”. He knit back together an intricate human body which had been ruined by hellhounds and time. He than become the guardian and advisor of both the Righteous Man and his brother (unknowingly to him at the time, Lucifer’s vessel). He re-learned about humanity. He gained friends. He realised that perhaps he could make choices, he could have the Free Will to not be a “hammer”. He found a family in mortals who stood for what was right, who stood for life and freedom.

Castiel had - and still has - a hard time finding truth and balance within life. Before he thought he was broken when he questioned orders from On High, conflicted with wanting to do Right and be Good. Then he realised nothing was as it seemed. He learned (relearned?) he could love, should love. Castiel, angel of the Lord, learned that while emotions are strange and dangerous, they are life-saving and life-giving. He learned the hard way: what it is to have Choice and Free Will.

Castiel is learning and growing. He’s alive and Good. He definitely hasn’t always made the right decisions, he’s made drastic mistakes. He is Good, but he’s also worked with Bad/evil creatures, he was forced into Bad from the outside (spells, mind control) and twisted into Bad from the inside (Leviathans). He’s made choices that have led to horrific consequences, but honestly what other options did he have? Who would have done differently (definitely not the Winchesters)?  At that point, he was still learning about trust, the fact that asking for help is okay, that he does have support.

Castiel made it through so much and he’s still here. He’s doing his best and he’s growing and he’s figuring out how to fix his mistakes. He’s mending and building relationships.

He cares for the daughter of his vessel, the man who sacrificed himself for his family and the world, who believed in Castiel. Castiel has a family in the Winchesters, though tough times come and miscommunication happens too frequently. He fought against the Empty, a being with unknowable power, who knew what and who Castiel hates, fears, and loves; and he WON. He was awoken by HIS SON, Jack, who called out to Castiel when realising how important he was to Dean the Winchesters. From there, Castiel brought himself back to life in the name of unfinished business, family, and love.

Castiel has a family. A true family, a good family, an imperfect family, but they’re becoming better.

Castiel has been hurt and he’s hurt others, but he’s starting to truly care for himself. He wants to live. He’s learned to no longer view himself as a Weapon or Hammer (for God, the Cause, the angels, the Winchesters).

Castiel is not perfect, he’s not completely okay, he doesn’t yet fully love or value himself as he should, he’s still terrified of a lot of things, but he’s getting there. He will get there.

I hope he gets to teach Jack everything he knows. I hope he can either find a way to help the angels or learn to accept their small numbers and walk away from their problems and join his new and chosen family. I hope he finds love in multiple ways.  I hope he continues the never-ending hunt for evil and the ever-lasting search for goodness.  I hope that he’s happy.

These are the main reasons why Castiel is my favourite character.

Congrats on ten years and may there be many more!

[potterswinchesters]

(The destiel ask thing) 6,9,48,49

6. What is/are your NOTP(s)?

Ahaha okay, I am prepared to lose followers for this! Let’s do this.

My number one NOTP is Megstiel. If you like it, good for you, but I just cannot see why. As you probably know by now, I am the type of person that needs lots of angst and buildup in order to ship something.

One of my main reasons for not shipping Megstiel, before I discuss the problematic aspect of their “relationship”, was that they were written like a typical, forced heterosexual pairing. I honestly felt like the kiss between Cas and Meg was a way to no-homo Cas (even though he doesn’t even have a gender). Before this point, he had never even remotely shown an interest in any woman. At this point in the show, people were already hardcore shipping Destiel, so the kiss felt so forced. There were about six seconds of buildup between the two that mostly included Meg calling Cas “Clarence” and making gross references to sex that Cas didn’t understand.

Second, in order to ship something I also need to genuinely like both characters and believe that they’d be good for each other. I’ve already mentioned that I absolutely despise Meg, and I have very important reasons for it. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Meg forced herself on both Sam and Dean at different instances, she was the reason for the deaths of Ellen and Jo, and she tortured many people including her first vessel (and her second, though no one even gave a shit about the second vessel). She didn’t even have a real redemption arc—and yes, I know it was because Rachel had to leave the show for health reasons, but it could have been done much better. Meg didn’t actually do anything good and there were always other motives, particularly when it came to watching over Cas in the mental hospital. Castiel, on the other hand, is my absolute favourite character, and I am highly protective of him, so I cannot see him get taken advantage of by some demon when he deserves so much better.

Third, the “relationship” and the whole idea behind it is highly problematic. Meg textually stated that she needed Cas’s protection multiple times, which was why she even stayed to “take care of him” when he was in the mental hospital. She was clearly using him, and he was in a vulnerable state. He had never had any kind of experience when she kissed him, so he was experimenting in a way… It just didn’t work.

Anyway, one day I’m going to make a huge meta post about Megstiel and why I don’t ship it at all.

Other NOTPs include Wincest (I am so grossed out when people turn beautiful relationships between siblings into something incestuous, as though the only love that exists is romantic love), Samifer (abusive), and Cas x anyone (besides Dean, of course, due to my intense secondhand jealousy).

9. What was your favourite Destiel moment?

Well shit. I don’t know how to answer this because there were so many moments… You know what? I’ll name a few.

“I need you” and the broken connection

Purgatory and Dean praying to Cas every night

Cas as Dean’s Collette

“I love you. I love all of you.” (It was so blatant that Cas was talking to Dean first, and then to Sam and Mary when he said this.)

The fucking mixtape

Dean kneeling beside Cas’s body when he died at the end of 12x23 (or, just, all of 12x23) and then praying to God to bring him back in 13x01

48. What is a confession you have regarding the show?

Hmm… Ever since I watched the first episode of SPN, I am so much more critical of the other shows I watch. In fact, most of them now suck in my eyes no matter how much I loved them before I watched Supernatural. SPN is not perfect at all—there are a lot of problematic aspects such as representation and killing of female characters for manpain—but the thing that it’s best at, in my opinion, is the relationships between the characters. There is so much chemistry between the actors on the show that when I watch other shows, all I can think about is how their friendships and relationships between family members don’t work. Not the way SPN’s do.

I have also completely lost the desire to start any new shows, so there’s that.

49. If you could tell your favourite characters one thing, what would it be?

I would tell Sam: “Sam, thank you for always keeping the faith and for fighting no matter how hard things get. You are so strong because of the way you have handled everything you’ve been through. I admire the hell out of you.”

I would tell Dean: “Dean fucking Winchester, I am going to need you to stop what you are doing. Stop holding back from liking Taylor Swift music, LARPing, and both Daphne and Fred; stop thinking that there’s anything you need to change about who you really are; stop hating yourself. You deserve to be happy. You deserve your happy ending.”

I would tell Castiel: “You don’t hear this enough, but you’ve done so much good in the world, for your loved ones and for humanity as a whole. You are important. You are good enough just the way you are. You are loved.”

I would tell Charlie: “YOU ARE MY QUEEN. I WANT TO FANGIRL OVER THE HARRY POTTER BOOKS WITH YOU. ALSO PLEASE INFORM DEAN THAT HE IS BISEXUAL.”

Well damn. This was long. For my next ones, I’ll probably write a lot less. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Send me an ask from my Supernatural Ask Game (Destiel Edition).

[impalaofgrace-blog]

Why do you hate Jack so much?? Like what has he ever done but make s13 interesting unlike the past couple season 😗☕️

Sigh… Do I really want to go into this… or do I just reply with “I don’t like Jack because I watched season 12 (and 4. and 5)” and give 0 fucks… Alright, I’m going to answer this as politely and constructively as I can and I’m only going to talk about this once, so read carefully. Some unpopular opinions under the cut, don’t go there if you don’t like rants or don’t want to get your Jack-loving feelings hurt.

It’s not that I don’t like the dude because he’s a “bad guy” or a “villain” or whatever - surprisingly, because everyone thinks this is the main reason. I’ll let you know I actually love villains. I don’t like Jack in general, I don’t like his lack of personality, I don’t like the way the writers built him as a character - he literally gets on my nerves just by saying “Castiel-style” lines, I cringe every time. He acts and talks like very discount Castiel (I said “very” because there’s so much more to Castiel’s character than, you know, a cute, adorably clueless nerd that takes most things literally), he looks like a cheap 90s Leo DiCaprio rip-off lol, there’s literally nothing about him that’s original or new/fresh. To me he’s just a poor imitation. It’s like the writers were like “Cas isn’t going to be in the first few episodes of season 13 so hey, how about we replace him with a mini-Cas, but like a demo version, minus the badassness and plus the crybabyness (crybabyness is a word, leave me alone)? This way, we won’t have to waste time creating an entirely new, unique character that could actually be interesting and also, everyone in this fandom loves helpless manbabies so they’re gonna love it!” …And forget everything that happened in s12.

Now let’s get into the second reason, regarding season 12 itself - the inconsistency. Jack clearly brainwashed both his mother and Castiel. I already talked about it but I’m going to repeat for the sake of this post. The manipulation was so clear and obvious, I can’t comprehend how no one is questioning this anymore. The change in Cas and Kelly’s behavior was so sudden, they both unexpectedly started to act like they’d lost their minds! Did you see the look on Castiel’s face when he said he “saw paradise”? The fuck was that? Because it sure as hell wasn’t a genuine Cas’ smile, last time he smiled like that was when he thought he was God. Also, Dean himself said he “didn’t recognize the guy staring back at him” and if anyone in the show knows Cas better than anyone else, it’s Dean - and I’m not saying this as a shipper, it’s a fact that Dean and Castiel’s relationship is something special, different and “profound” so if Dean says something’s off - something’s clearly off. Not to mention the change in Castiel’s behavior is extremely out of character, since he’s literally rebelled against the idea of paradise on Earth. He’s fallen because he didn’t want paradise. Seriously, does no one remember season 4 anymore? It wasn’t paradise that Castiel fought for, it was freedom. Then, the reason Castiel wanted to get out of The Empty was Sam and Dean, he didn’t even think about Jack, not until Sam mentioned him, even though last season he got away from the bros because Lucifer’s kid needed him. Now he suddenly feels responsible for him again. It’s so… confusing??? Consistency who?

One of the grossest things about Jack is the fact that he brought Kelly back to life when she tried to kill herself because he needed her alive to be born. However, he didn’t try to bring her back when he  was being born. He only kept her alive because she was useful and then just let her die. He treated her like “a container”, as Lucifer himself said. I can’t even stress how disgusting this is. I feel fucking sick whenever he talks about his mother, making this sad poop face. The mother he brainwashed, used and left to fucking die. “He didn’t know how to do it” - oh? So his ability to control his powers suddenly regressed or what? Speaking of - in the last episode we find out that apparently Jack hardly remembers anything  from when he was in the womb - and yet, when he was still in the womb, somehow he was developed enough to: manipulate Cas and Kelly, convince Cas to protect him by showing him a vision of paradise, bring Kelly back to life, understand that Dagon was evil and know what to do in order to kill her. He knew and understood all of these things, but now somehow he barely knows how to move a fucking pencil? AND turns out he actually can fly but kept it a secret? That’s sketchy as hell, isn’t that even remotely alarming to you? There’s something incredibly unsettling and deceitful about Jack and it creeps me the fuck out.

I hate the way the fandom keeps infantilizing him, too. Jesus Christ, I’m so fed up with people calling him a “precious cinnamon roll too pure for this world uwuwuwuwu" etc. ughhhh… Where do I sign a petition for people to never use this expression to describe a character ever again… Notice how the reason people love Jack so much isn’t that he’s a complex, unique character. They love him because… sometimes… he talks like Cas… Tell me one trait that Jack has that isn’t copied from Cas and isn’t “complaining about being a monster all the fucking time”. Listen, I didn’t even have a strong opinion on Jack at first. I started watching season 13 with a “meh”/neutral attitude. Wasn’t excited about him, didn’t really hate him either. But now I see that they’re really going with this gross Daddy!Cas thing and I’m just not gonna buy this bullshit. I can’t stand seeing my favourite character on the show being destroyed like that.

I hate the way the fandom gave Dean shit for distrusting Jack. I’ve never seen more Dean hate in my life and it’s all because of some whiny dude who’s only been in the show for a few episodes. Gross. Dean had every right to hate the dude. The third paragraph explaines why.

“Jack’s just a kid” - no, the point is, he’s fucking not. He said himself that he literally “couldn’t be a baby or a child”. Jack is a fully grown person with a fully-developed brain and is fully capable of analizing and comprehending his actions so justifying the things he’s done with “he’s just a kid” is just… dumb.  I hate how everyone justifies the fact that he killed an innocent person just because he’s not capable of controlling his powers yet, like… If you’re not sure you can control your powers, don’t fucking use them? It’s as simple as that. [more on this subject: here] His brain is nothing like a kid’s brain, so don’t try to sell me this “he’s just a month old” bullshit.

Did he “make s13 interesting unlike the past couple season”…? Um, I think the fuck not? He didn’t bring anything new to the show and I’ve already explained why I think so. I mean, it’s kind of a relative thing to say, don’t you think? He probably did for the people who like him. For me - meh, I didn’t give a shit when I first saw 13x01, maybe was a little bit intrigued even, because I thought he’d give off a more dangerous/villainous vibe. But then all he really did was whine about how supposedly bad he is???  Personally, I find his constant pity parties tiring and boring as fuck, but to each their own I guess.

On a side note, though, I don’t even think season 12 was bad. Not my favourite, but definitely not the worst. I know a lot of people didn’t enjoy it, but I’d say it’s actually in my top 6. I mean, I’m not a fan of the MoL plotline but overall, it had some good episodes. Will season 13 be better? We’ll see. If it will, it won’t be because of Jack - at least to me. I hope you’re satisfied with this response, I know it’s a bit messy but I did my best. Have a nice day.

so anyway, fuck Jack’s hypocritical overrated ass lmao

[super-sootica]

Hi you, something I don't get in your post don't most people argue if Jack has influence Cas, not if he evil? The minority believes Jack will be an evil figure in the end, but argue that rn hes doing wrong by effecting Cas and just like the parallels to Amara, (Connor ? dont watch this) these storyline usually /start/ with these characters doing something like controlling ppl so going by usual tropes thats how this story usually goes. How could Jack bring Cas closer to S/D rn he seperates them

Hi Nonny,

Thanks for the ask.  I’m going to surmise your points/questions as a prompt to myself because this ask hit a whole bunch of inter-sectional discussions

Jack influencing Cas does not make him evil, but he is doing wrong right now

Very true re. influencing Cas in what could be viewed as a negative way does not make him evil.  It would of course make him a being that wants to survive, which does not make them bad.

And here’s where we get into the intersectional debates and opinions.  I don’t believe Jack has brainwashed Castiel.  Influenced?  Maybe?  Sam telling Cas ‘you can’t do this’ is also influencing him no?  But not quite brainwashing and also super ineffective.  Below are some of the reasons why I don’t think Cas is brainwashed but it is not the single pillar that my points or opinions rest on.

All roads lead to Rome here and I accept people who believe he’s brainwashed have a point, they have an argument.  But it does not ring true to me:

Arguments against it being his choice

1.  Dean would not accept that this was his Castiel.

Dean has repeatedly rejected the possibly of Castiel’s agency wherein it is a move from him (Dean).  See ‘Superman gone darkside’ and creating a literal false memory about purgatory, to reject Castiel’s decision.  To reject any reality wherein Cas would choose not to be with him.

He is not a reliable source.  That’s actually a running joke within the fandom, one of my favourite fanarts is punk Casifer flipping Dean off and Dean waving all ‘ohh Cas is going through his punk phase’.  For more on Dean is an unreliable source with people he loves please see @amwritingmeta it’s not that he can’t see things when the are wrong.  It’s just a rejection of reality.   He is sooo stressed.  Boy needs to go to a spa

2.  Castiel’s utopia speech to Kelly.

Castiel hesitated during that speech and told a bunch of cliches.  He thought of what a human might want, no hunger, no pain, no fear.  He told her it would all go away.  He was comforting a dying woman.  Not telling us what he saw.  This is not a suggestion of blind faith.

3.  ‘Castiel would never boop the Winchesters’.  Yes he would.  Castiel has repeatedly worked on his own and created distance between himself and the Winchesters when he thought it was needed.  He didn’t harm them.  He merely tried to get away.

4.  The grace colour issue.  This could be due to lighting (we have seen this before) or residual grace.  It does not mean that Cas isn’t driving.

Please also see @tinkdw‘s post on Castiel’s agency here

Moreover the reason why I brought Connor, Dawn and Chris into this is because there were also ‘this kid is brainwashing our main cast’ arguments in the fandom and meta of it’s time.  Some characters also believed it at first.  All of which were proven to be incorrect.  Setting up the newbie as more powerful or with more motive than actually exists is a trope.

I believe Castiel has his full agency, I believe he did a complete 180 based on what he saw or felt and I don’t believe that it was paradise.  He would be far from the first character to make this kind of swing in the face of new evidence or emotion

Back to your point 

And uh under the cut because this will go on and people have dashes to worry about

Let’s say Jack is influencing Castiel beyond a simple ‘Hey Cas, borrow my power, hey Cas.  Please don’t kill me’.

Then the question becomes whether or not that influence is positive or negative.

Positive - Jack really could see the future and wanted to control Cas in order to make that happen

Negative - Jack wanted to control Cas and was willing to lie to do so

If the influence is positive then Jack has done what to him, must be done.  Making him as you say not a bad character

If it’s negative than at best it’s a ruse to live, at worst it’s controlling and abusive

So I guess the question here falls into two sections. 

a.  How badly is Cas being controlled if at all

b.  If Cas is being controlled is that a negative thing for Jack to do in context

Given the symbolism behind Jack and his choices (not purely out of self interest) it is highly doubtful that even now he is bad.  He is a blank slate, and I don’t think blank slate’s control people.  They certainly never did in the three examples  I have stated (exception Chris, but this was not brainwashing like at one stage was speculated, so I continue to include him in the three).

But you point to Amara, quite correctly.  Though I’m not sure one instance counts as a trope.  A mirror, definitely.   The difference of course (to me) is that Amara was a pre-existing being with her own motivations and background.  I would point you towards @postmodernmulticoloredcloak as I believe they have some great meta based on Jack’s actions so far.  

There’s actually a lot of great meta out there on Jack on his intentions but I think I’ve covered the bases here and why it’s intersectional.  If you would like to discuss any particular point more please let me know. 

In summary your question is from the point of Jack influencing Cas in a way that takes away Castiel’s agency.  I have stated why I don’t think this is the case and offered up some thoughts on why this is the case.

Now…

All Roads Lead to Rome - Why Jack will bring Castiel closer to the Winchesters and help the others move forward

It’s not so much that Jack will cause this in any deliberate way, as I say Jack is the catalyst not the magic bullet.  But who he in the very way he’s been set up tells us who he is going to be.  Outside (the young un’s nearly always have this effect in television).  

Please see

@margarittet

for excellent meta on the scenery of Jack’s birth, the tree of life, the sunrise (hi God and Cas)

. 

But I digress, you don’t think Jack will be bad so this can establish an immediate theme of goodness for Jack or in the future

By saving Jack all of Team Free Will save and accept themselves, which allows them to move forward in their own relationships

If Team Free Will had a comprised of their separate parts baby it would be Jack

, this is a big big point and honestly I could go on for ages soooo:Jack = Cas Angel/human, not belonging in either world or truly connecting.  Identity issues, rejectionJack = Sam   The cursed child, ‘predestined to harm humanity’ associations with Lucifer.  Issues regarding being ‘unclean’ Jack = Dean  Jack’s name literally brings into focus ‘the everyman’.  Which is what Dean is, in other words.  The person from whom which we view events and moral decisions.  He also carries tremendous responsibility and the shadow of his father.How does this help Team Free Will?  By teaching them.  By accepting Jack and teaching him they learn in the process and release their own crippling issues:

Cas - isolation, bridging the gap between worlds.  You can choose.  You do have a home.  Free will.  Choosing to make yourself happy, not just to serve.  Cas has been making his choices based on service alone.  (Beginning to show in late S12 IF you believe Castiel was not unduly influenced)

Sam - judgement and predetermined circumstance.  What happened was not your fault.  You can overcome, you do overcome.  You can take back your power (we see this showing already in late S12), but he still needs more shoving

Dean - burdens, performance, the shadow of your father.  Dean takes on every burden as his own, even when he is told to keep his nose out.  You can let go, you can trust others.  It’s okay if things go wrong. You don’t have to perform for people.  It’s okay to just be you.  You are not your father.  Once again beginning to show in late S12.

Once these walls break down by teaching Jack not to repeat their mistakes (whether directly addresses their flaws or mistakes or merely advising).  All three boys take some of their power back, live more authentically and figure out what they want.

Which for Cas is to be with the Winchesters.  But that’s a whole other discussion.

[ethekitchenator]

Some thoughts...

Alright, I’ve given this a couple of days, mostly because I’ve been upset and angry over the whole thing (and still am) but am more reasonable in moving to talk about it.

This contains Supernatural spoilers, so, just be aware.  It is also quite long (I’m a writer okay?  It’s expected).

Now, I want to start this by saying that season 12 has probably been the most disappointing season so far.  This season felt as if it was rushed and as if the writers had no idea where they were going with it and trying to fill in bits and pieces as they went.  Not only that, but it felt as if the writers didn’t know, or even try to know their characters at all.  Sam and Dean, maybe, but Castiel and Crowley, definitely not.  I honestly don’t know how they’ve gone so wrong.

Between the BMOL storyline and the Lucifer’s baby storyline, in my opinion, the season has been nothing short of a joke, with maybe one or two good episodes.  Both storylines could’ve provided so much potential, and in all honesty, could’ve very easily combined into one very good storyline.  

The BMOL people, were mostly just arseholes that had no character development (except Mick who deserved a lot more than what he got) and, in all honesty, were just damned frustrating.  I don’t believe, ever, that Sam and Dean would’ve ever worked with them, especially with what happened at the start of the season, I don’t care what was offered, I don’t think it would’ve happened.  Those first few episodes were enough to show that BMOL had no interest in fixing things.  They just wanted control.  They wanted to prove that they were better.  They wanted to just destroy virtually everything that the boys had ever done.

So it was frustrating when the boys worked with them.

Now, the Lucifer storyline, this has to be the one that really upset me the most.  If you had asked me after season 5/6, I would’ve easily agreed that he was a very underutilised villain and that they got rid of him way too early.  I was excited when he was back for season 11, and while slightly disappointed that it was Misha playing the role (don’t get me wrong, he did amazing), it was still decently handled.  This season though, this season has truly been nothing short of a joke.  I don’t think I’ve ever sat through more of a frustrating storyline and seen nothing but a weird conglomeration of his character that craps on the others for no particular reason except and ‘oh, it’s his character’ ideal.

I didn’t expect it to get worse.

Now, Lucifer becoming the President, at first I was a little stunned and then very curious about where they could take this.  I mean, they could’ve gone down the road of Lucifer showing the world what existed, would’ve brought the two storylines easily together as well as brought in a lot of conflict for the mains (I’m not saying it should’ve gone like that, but it was a path they could’ve gone down).  But then, my god, then they went down Lucifer having a baby.  I mean, first, yeah, I was interested, I wanted to know where it was going and what they were going to do with it.  The nephilim concept was something that was always brought up but never really used.

But then it began to be used to just shit all over other characters.

Mostly, of course, Crowley.  Now, I will admit, I’m a huge fan of Crowley, I think he is one of the most complicated characters on the show and that he brings a characterisation that it needs to keep going.  The way that he was treated this season though, was nothing short of a joke.  It doesn’t take much to see that the writers wanted to completely ignore the way the character works and acts and just went the worst possible options so that they could solely try and write him out of the show.

Sadly, I think it’s worked.

I’ll get back to that in a moment.

As we got towards the end of the season, I sat there in sheer shock as I watched the writing seem to get worse, and it made me furious as both a fan and writer that they would dare to treat the show and characters this way.  I kept watching simply because I am a fan of the show, have been for a while, but it was with great trepidation that I watched the finale.

Episode 22 actually resolved things pretty nicely for the BMOL storyline.  It had some good elements and good moments that made it feel like a decent resolution.

Then we got to episode 23.

I just...I couldn’t really believe what I was watching.  Out of everything, I was not expecting them to suddenly bring in an alternate universe, and from that moment on (among other things) I think I pretty much decided I was done with the show.  It shows desperation in writing, especially when they had so many other options available to go with.  An alternate universe.  I was sitting there in stunned, furious silence, because, in all honesty, it’s utter bullshit and nothing but a cheap excuse for writing, and I honestly don’t think I can watch an entire season where that is going to be the plotline, not even to mention the weird manbaby (which again, nothing but poor writing) that is supposedly more powerful than anything we’ve seen before (apart from Chuck and Amara).

If there’s one thing that kills a show (unless a part of the original storyline) it’s an alternate universe, especially one that is clearly going to just be an excuse to try and bring back some old characters.  Bobby’s return was, I’m sorry if you disagree, nothing short of cheap.  The Bobby in this universe could’ve easily been brought back, after all, we never saw what the angels did to him.  It was never gone back to.  Just another plot hole in the massive slew that just keeps growing bigger.  I would’ve happier if the rumours/discussion of it being purgatory were true, I think it would’ve worked out so much better for them and still opened up cause for them to bring back characters.

Okay, now let’s go into the character deaths.  Supernatural has always been a show that is known for killing of characters, but the mains aren’t ones that stay dead.  Now, this season in general has been piss poor in the handling character deaths, I think the only one that was handled well was Ketch (although I have a theory that he’s not dead, despite not really liking his character).

I was furious over Rowena and Eileen’s deaths.

Something that Supernatural lacks is a regular, strong, female character.  Jody and Claire are awesome and could easily be used more, but they aren’t regular, and in fact, I was almost expecting them to die too the way the season was going.  But Rowena and Eileen...

Eileen was brilliant character when they first introduced her, she was a good balance for Sam and Dean and I was quite sad when they didn’t keep using her.  When she was brought in again, I was happy, but then, as most character this season, she was only, and I literally mean ONLY, brought in to kill her.  That’s not how you treat a character.  THAT’S NOT HOW YOU TREAT A CHARACTER.

Then, Rowena.  The perfect clash with Crowley, with a brilliant possible storyline.  To disrespect her the way they did, killing her off screen and to advance the shitty manbaby storyline, was just disgusting.  I completely agreed when Crowley stated that he thought he would be the one to kill her, as much as I believe he wouldn’t have done it, it would’ve been the only thing that felt possibly right.  But no, she’d ignored most of the season, and the writers couldn’t be fucked in trying to find a way of fitting her comfortably back in.

Okay, now, I know I’ve mentioned Crowley already, I’m still not done, but let me get to Castiel first.  Again, he was someone that was written so poorly this season, that I was getting frustrated.  Castiel, next to Crowley, is one of my favourite characters, but I was beginning to hate seeing him on screen.  I grew tired of seeing him like that.  Now, his death was expected, as was Crowley’s, but in all seriousness, why the hell would Castiel go back through the portal?  It didn’t achieve anything, it was a completely pointless venture that only served one purpose.

To overshadow Crowley’s death.

I honestly don’t think the writers/producers/directors/whoever understand how important a character Crowley was/is to the show, and to treat it so badly, instantly overshadowing his death with the death of one of the most loved characters show was just wrong.  Now, I was upset when Castiel died, I was, but it’s already been clearly said he’ll be back.  They’ve made the mistake of killing him off before and it killed ratings, so Castiel was never in danger of dying permanently.

But Crowley is a different story.

He’s been treated so badly this season that I pretty much knew it was coming.  I knew what the writers were leading up to and it just made me start to hate the show.  I know that, as a writer, you are expected to treat your characters cruelly at some point, it’s one of the many ways you can get character progression, but I know, that you never, never, treat them poorly to the point that you lose their characterisation and personality.  Crowley, at the end, became nothing.  He was purposefully abused by Lucifer, I mean, that dancing and face pulling was fucking ridiculous and uncalled for and the plot made no sense as to how that suddenly happened.  I mean, to have him working with the BMOL was bad enough, giving them a Hell Hound (I mean, seriously?) was awful, no matter what interest there was in England.  But then, for the rest of what happened...it all showed how little the creators think that Crowley means to the show.

Now, I’m still under the belief that Crowley isn’t dead.  A part from the lack of body at the end, there are other reasons I have for knowing that Crowley isn’t dead.  What gives me concern, are the posts from Mark Sheppard and further posts onwards.  By the sounds of it, he really is quitting the show the show this time round, and in all honesty, I wouldn’t blame him.  From what I’ve heard, it’s not just his character that they have been disrespecting, but him too, and no one deserves that treatment.  If it truly is over, then I wish him all the best, as does all his fans, because he really has brought something special to the show, something that will be irreplaceable.  It was a balance that the show needed and I honestly think that it will suffer greatly without him there, to the point that it will most likely kill it entirely.

For a show that has been running so long, I would expect better, but I think this season has proved that they are incapable of keeping it going.  They don’t care about the storyline, they have no idea where they are going with it, they don’t understand the characters and I honestly don’t think they really care about the fans.  It’s such a sad thing to see a show I’ve loved, that means so much to me, so much to a lot of us, go this way, but I’m not sure that there’s going to be a way out of it.

It’s something that is sadly wrong with the TV industry (I won’t go too much into it) but with writers, their roles aren’t set.  This means that multiple writers have control over a show’s story and it’s characters.  There may be a couple of key writers, but this does not change the fact that almost every episode, at varying points across a season, are written by different people.  It means that the creative control isn’t as strong as it should be.  As someone that is writing two of my own tv shows, I know how important this is, and it terrifies me that if they ever go into production, that I will lose that control and it will get out of hand in a way that’s irreparable.  In all honesty, I think that the only thing that will save Supernatural is a fresh look on it with a small team of writers.  It’s been made clear that the current ones can’t handle it.  Even as I say this, that I’m ready to stop watching the show because of everything that has happened and the direction it’s going, if I was offered to write on it, I would take it in a heart beat.  Not only because it’s my dream career, but because I love these characters and would do everything in my power to my make sure that they are treated accordingly, as I do with my own characters.

I’m still so sad and angry about all this, and I honestly don’t think it will go away anytime soon.  I could definitely go on more about Crowley, but I think the fandom is angry enough over that my point get’s across.  Sorry that this has been so long, and thank you if you read it all, but I just needed to say all this to get it off my chest, even if it doesn’t fix anything.