#Reading this and in life
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#quotes#love#poetry#literature#lit#relationship quotes#words#motivation#thoughts#writing#poem#spilled ink#motivating quotes#relatable quotes#inspiring quotes#inspiring quotations#life quotes#inspirational quotes#quote of the day#quoteoftheday#aesthetic#spilled poetry#spilled thoughts#reading#art#romance quotes#shakespeare
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my mum forbade me to say anything to my dad about the top surgery thing, and it's just hit me how funny it would be if i got it done and didn't tell him and just waited for him to notice. i mean, what's he gonna say? "didn't you used to have tits?"
#obviously she meant 'don't get it done and don't tell him you thought about it' but i am choosing to read it as#'gaslight him into thinking you've been titless all your life'#be shh now#containment breach
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When I was a kid, we moved into a house that had a huge lilac tree out front. It was mostly rotten, and it needed to be taken down before it fell. It took a while, but eventually, it was gone.
Mostly. A couple years later, little lilac babies popped out of the ground in its place. My mom was determined to get rid of them, because she'd planted a beautiful flower garden there, and the lilac trees would overshadow and kill the whole garden. I insisted on saving at least a few saplings. She said fine, but I had to dig them out and put them in pots myself.
So, I did. I spent days digging little lilac bushes out of the ground and putting them into pots. Some couldn't be saved, but some could. When all was said and done, I had five brand-new lilac saplings. Seven or eight years old, and it was my absolute pride and joy.
Three died due to sun scorching, severe drought that no amount of watering could save, and perhaps just being moved from their place in the ground. But two survived, and I was awfully proud of them! I'd go out and talk to them every single day. I watered them by hand and made sure they were fertilized properly. I learned all about their favored environments, and I was determined to make sure they lived.
One of my mom's friends saw what I was doing with the lilacs. She asked if she could have one to put in her backyard, and I agreed on the condition that she take very, very good care of it.
It's now fucking enormous. I'm talking ten feet tall and bursting with beautiful purple flowers every spring. My mom still gets updates each year as they start to bloom, which she forwards to me. And all I can think is, "That's my friend! Thriving some twenty years on, there it is."
The other tree nearly died, too. It lived in a pot for far, far too long. I wanted to plant it somewhere in my parents' yard, but my mom was reluctant. Eventually, we agreed to put it in the far back garden. It grew okay for many years, despite the shade, but in all these years, it's never bloomed.
Last year, the massive tree casting massive shadows over the lilac and the garden cracked in half and fell. It tumbled into the garden, crushing part of the nearby shed and destroying a few plants beneath it.
It missed my lilac by inches.
The clean-up is long done. The rest of the tree has been cut down, and my lilac has full sunlight for the first time in fifteen years. It won't bloom this year, I know. But it's got new shoots up. It's taller than ever. I spent half an hour a few weeks ago praising it for surviving all this time, dreaming about its future and telling it how I believe it'll become the tall beauty it's always been meant to be.
I think next year, I'll see flowers.
#aese speaks#a little personal story for you all#the origin of my life-long relationship with lilacs#i've been a garden witch since i was very small! (:#green witch#garden witch#garden magic#the lilac post#hello to everyone reading the og tags on this:#it's a metaphor it's a true story it's real it's fiction it's a poem it's me rambling it's whatever you think it is#30k
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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Scar's bringing such an energy to this season, huh
(this is my first attempt posting something in this very sketchy style asdgjsafs we'll see how I feel about it - designs are inspired by aresonist's lovely designs)
#wild life#wild life spoilers#life series#ldshadowlady#goodtimeswithscar#solidaritygaming#ldshadowlady fanart#goodtimeswithscar fanart#solidaritygaming fanart#gtws#jimmy solidarity#my art#if u read this far pls compliment me on the hammer#and dont' mention scar's hairstyle changing on zoom out#these aren't my final designs for this lot i just#didn't wanna come up with full designs before making the shitpost comic of this one bit i found funny#my comics#wild life smp
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Guess who is back in their gravity falls phase! (After it being dormant for almost a decade!)
#gravity falls#dipper pines#mabel pines#stanley pines#stanford pines#pines twins#pines family#the pine brothers#bill chiper#the book of bill#billford#yes i read the book#yes i went thru the webite for hours straight#yes i rewatched the show#yes i just got journal 3 and rhe comic bc this fixation is consuming my life again#yes im learning to decipher the codes too now#yes ive been crying nonstop for like two or so weeks straight bc I love this show sm my bags are really bad im starting to look like Ford#book of bill is so toxic old yaoi and i was so along for the ride thru and thru lmao#did i mention that i really reallly love this show?
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a moment of peace before the whole world shatters 😇
get your own print here ❤️
#do you ever cry while touching your pinky to a strand of your besties unruly hair#I call this aesthetic “warm angst” :'D#geto taking the pining to the next level#I imagine this takes place after the big village event#but before gojo finds out about it#just geto taking a moment to say his farewell to the life as he knew it#christmas present for my satosugu obsessed buddy @kymsys who lovingly made me read the manga at gunpoint. I hate you (affectionately) ❤️#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#satosugu#stsg#satosugu fanart#stsg fanart#gojo satoru#geto suguru#jjk fanart#anime#fanart#digital art#art#artwork#gojo fanart#geto fanart
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a day late to my 6 years on t anniversary ✨🏳️⚧️ a short comic about looking back
#trans pride#transmasc#comics#autobio comics#transgender#this reads a little more melancholy than I meant it to!#I think I forget how far I’ve come#like oh yeah this rules actually my body’s changed so much#also I grew my hair out and I’m less blond now#anyway I love being on testosterone :)#life saving magic potion that makes you hot and happy#my art#Magnus post art at a reasonable hour challenge (impossible)
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🥳🏠
#413#happy birthday to this piece of shit webcomic that has changed my life from the moment i started reading#homestuck#john egbert#rose lalonde#(ascend descend rise up abscond)#dave strider#jade harley#gecko boy
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Have you ever read a really good fic then looked up the author's other works and lo and behold a treasure trove of fics that are exactly your kind of shit? Because god that is what euphoria feels like. I love you random fic writers i unexpectedly find
#found 157 works under silmarillion and I am eating this shit up#sometimes life is good#sometimes life gives you 157 silm fics to read all through the night#fics#fanfics#ao3
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You can only reblog this today.*
*PLEASE READ THE TAGS
#adventure time#finn the human#if you are reading this#please be aware this is a joke#this was a random thing tound on Facebook#and no finn really didn't say that#so go ahead and reblog it#just don't take it seriously#some of the people who reblogged this overreacted#so I feel compelled to add these tags to call them out on it#like seriously#chill out dudes#maybe eat a taco or two#tacos are life#so are burritos#ok this is running its course#david zaslav can suck it#i just felt like adding that because he is a douche
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#quotes#quoteoftheday#spilled thoughts#reading#relatable quotes#inspiring quotes#relationship quotes#art#romance quotes#shakespeare#Sarah Doughty#motivation#poetry#literature#writing#original#words#love#relationship#thoughts#lit#prose#spilled ink#life quotes#love quotes#poem#aesthetic
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first read on @exitmusicfrafilm’s post about 2023
#so i made this last night :’)#it has stayed with since i first read it….. and it’ll never leave#the wound is not the size of my life#it gets better i know it i know it#reminder !!#hi my post#poetry#digital illustration
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christopher eccleston do you know that i would die for you (1 2)
#christopher eccleston#re that nine post i did not in fact dream him saying this actually it's real#reading some of the interviews .. gosh hes had it so awful i wish only the best for him in his life rn#dr who#mt#9 era
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lighthearted.
if this comic resonated with you, please consider donating to this palestinian escape fund (vetted by @/nabulsi and @/el-shab-hussein) as it is less than $7,000 away from it's goal.
i turn 24 today. To celebrate, I made this comic to be a spiritual successor to lead balloon, a comic in which I talked about the darkest period of my life so far.
A lot has changed since my 23rd birthday and this one. My priorities have shifted a lot, in ways that I think are mostly good. But i think the best part about today is that suicide has gone back to being a far away notion. I'm really lucky, and I'm grateful for that.
#yet another largely personal comic that kind of only has real impact to maybe four people#it's crazy what a difference a few months makes#and a trip to the beach that makes you glad you're still alive.#the last page is just me drawing my friends and I as our respective art sonas#credit to my best friend for inventing the designs#i keep copying their shit but its their fault for always having good ideas#ugghhh i love the people in my life so much and im so thankful for them#one of my friends gave me a vintage camera for my birthday#im going to take so many photos i could paper my walls with them#thank you for reading#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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