#Rashi knows what I mean

[blaithnne]

So yeah I ship Beakley and Duckworth but in a homoerotic sort of way

[marsprincess889]

Pro tip when trying to guess someone's placements, esp when you wanna know the ascendant:

✨👉YONI ANIMALS👈✨

that's it.

But seriously, impressions can be deceptive. In my experience, yoni animals are the easiest way to guess correctly. Different nakshatras with the same yoni animal can be eerily similar in appearance and "vibes".

Also nakshatra pairs(purva and uttaras) can have similarities too. And btw, don't forget rashi placements and any planets conjunct luminaries and asc. Combine these factors and you can find nakshatras the most similar to a chart that it might not even have.

So, before you decide on a placement, you might want to consider the whole chart and all its major factors. You can play with associations because they often manifest that way, you might never be sure how something from the chart might show on the outside unless you observe and intuitively contemplate real life examples.

I'll give you a nice example. I've always though I had something Purva Phalguni-ish in me. I have that nakshatra nowhere. BUT I have a Venus nakshatra(Bharani moon) and a Phalguni nakshatra(Uttara Phalguni Ascendant), both of which describe Purva Phalguni. I also always admired and "got" Shatabhishas, even though I don't have that nakshatra anywhere neither. I do have Sun tightly conjunct Saturn and Rahu(Shatabhisha's rashi and nakshatra lords) though.

"Yoni" means "origin" and I think that once you contemplate on a nakshatra and its natives, its nature will just reveal itself to you. Yoni animals are truly so simplistic, in a pure way. Cow yonis do have cow eyes. Sheep yonis do have compact but soft features. Cat yonis have prominent cheekbones and cat eyes. Elephant yonis have protruding years, higher cheekbones and a soft, deep expression. Lion yonis have square-ish faces and strong, blunter features.

Yoni animals of all placements do show on a person's face, but moon, ascendant and sun always show the most.

But mainly, to truly understand the essence and the nature of nakshatras and yoni animals, I think it's important that everyone forms a personal understanding of them over time while avoiding delusion as much as possible. Instead of relying on popular labels that have become associated with nakshatras, I'd urge anyone to observe personally and gain experiential knowledge about whatever they're trying to understand.

There's always new things to discover about nakshatras. Don't rob yourself and others of that insight by repeating old narratives. There's also the posts that say new things with questionable or nonexistent proof/arguments and that's what I call irresponsibility and/or delusion.

This turned into a rant but am I wrong though?

And now, the part that no one asked for😭 but an interesting one nevertheless...

And btw, I might as well say this: I think there is no way on earth Anya Taylor-Joy is Bharani ascendant(she has revealed that her ascendant is in tropical Taurus, which includes Ashwini, Bharani and Krittika). She's U. Bhadra moon and Ashwini Sun for context.

A recent post on here has made a comparison to Bharani natives and their elvish appearance but look.

Look, Bharani does look elvish but so does Uttara Bhadrapada(her moon), in a different way. This is why relying purely on labels might lead ro errors. She wears her hair and sometimes dresses in an ethereal way. And there is slight bharani influence in her(her mercury) but I clearly see Krittika in her. I clearly see the solar sharpness and the sheep yoni essence.

🐑☀️🐏🔪

Here are some bharani natives, for comparison:

Claire Holt, Gaia Weiss, Isabel Lucas. All Bharani moon

Bharani's features and softness are deep and strong. Krittika is sharper and more compact.

So yeah, I am not calling anyone out, I just wanted to state my opinion on her placement while I was at it.

Let me know your thoughts p o l i t e l y and r e s p e c t f u l l y .

Have a great time 💕

[strang3lov3]

Tear You Apart

Roman hatefucks you (2.1k words).

Tags - smut, rough/violent sex, mean!roman, and perhaps dark!roman too if you squint (I’m serious. Don’t underestimate him) lack of proper foreplay (intentional), unprotected piv, spanking, biting, choking, hitting, degradation, bruises, dacryphilia, hatefuck, masturbation, fingering, creampie, come play, fearplay, threats of violence, typical Roman sexism, Roman spits in your mouth, orgasm denial, Roman denies you of some basic physiological needs in maslow’s hierarchy, a singular atom of aftercare, one (1) Depeche Mode reference. Probably forgot some things but if you’re here then you know what you want, and I know what you want, and we both know you’re gonna read anyway.

A/N - received a message from god and i did what had to be done. @cum-a-calla said “k but imagine Roman talking about how much he hates you while being violently railed. swoon” so here’s this. Straight fucking, beginning to end. I love you @cum-a-calla I think you’re just the fucking best 😻🥰 and @beefrobeefcal do your eyes ever hurt from how much I abuse them? Thank you for lending them to me again and again 💜🥩🐛

Roman’s swaying left and right in his swivel chair, nursing a glass of whiskey when you open his bedroom door. “You’re late,” he says, slurring his words ever so slightly. His eyes are bloodshot, hair mussed, tie loosened and his white shirt unbuttoned. Roman takes his silver watch off and sets it down on the end table next to him. 

You shift your weight from one foot to the other. “I know.”

“You texted 10:30,” Roman reminds you. “And it’s midnight.” 

“I know,” you repeat. “I’m sorry. Won’t happen again.” 

“Better fuckin’ not. C’mon, chop chop. You know what you’re here for.” 

You do know; the same thing you’re always here for. Roman downs the rest of his drink, then pours another, and this time offers it to you. You decline politely, a quiet and demure no, thank you with a gentle shake of your head as you take off your shirt. Roman shrugs, drinks that one too. He feels lightheaded. 

You shuck off your pants, and Roman takes care to help you with your bra, fingers tracing over the indents it’s left in your skin. “All of it,” he says, smacking your ass, right over that large, rashy bruise he left last time. It was a week ago, maybe. Is that correct? Is that the last time you did this? Roman can never keep track. It doesn’t matter anyway. You’re just as hungry for Roman’s violence as he is to inflict it upon you. 

You shimmy the cotton underwear down your hips and your legs, now fully bare before Roman. Exposed. Roman sidles up behind you, his veiny hands on your waist. He urges you closer to the mirror and turns you around slowly, admiring the marks he made on you last time. Bite marks, lots of bites, and god, how he loves sinking his teeth into your skin. There’s bruises darkening your skin, though not all are visible. Some you feel instead of see. There’s the odd scratch, maybe the fault of his unclipped nails or perhaps the blunt metal edge of his watch he doesn’t always remember to take off. Roman watches you in the mirror, the eye contact intimidating. He looks like he wants to eat you alive.

Roman presses his fingertips against a bruise on your hip, causing you to wince. It’s an odd shape, odd location too. “I like this one,” Roman says. “Pretty.” It’s a compliment, almost. Almost. 

It begins here. Roman separates your hands that are held together, nervously fidgeting with yourself. He takes your forearm and twists it behind your back, pushes it up, up, even higher yet. You can see in the mirror how he smiles, his eyes darkening when you start to wince in pain. “You’re hurting me,” you whine. “You’re - ah, my arm–”

“I know it hurts you,” Roman taunts. “I could break it just like this. Fuckin’ snap it. I think about it sometimes.”

His words make you sick. Make you breathe funny, make you feel all icky inside. He fucking loves it, how your breath hitches in your throat, and how he can feel it happen under his palm. And when you’re afraid like that, you squeeze around him harder, walls pulsing, clenching…

Roman forces you down onto the bed, your face buried in his pillows. You lie on your stomach and he parts your thighs with his knee, still holding you in place, now with both of your arms bent into place. Roman holds them in one hand and kneels at your side, and with his free hand he rubs over the swell of your ass. He parts your cheeks, admires your tight asshole and your snatch. He traces those pretty folds of yours and rubs your clit, listening to those quiet gasps you swallow. He wonders when you’ll - and yup, there it is. You’re writhing on the bed, grinding your hips into his palm. Roman smiles at this. The rules, you’re breaking the rules. “I’m not gonna make you come,” he reminds you. 

“I know,” you mumble.

“I’m only getting you wet.”

“I know.” 

“Then what do you think you’re doing?”

Silence. Roman removes his fingers from your cunt and spanks you hard - once, twice, three times total. You wail in pain, humming rhythmically in an attempt to soothe yourself of the ache, that awful sting. Roman traces the outline of his puffy handprint on your ass. “You just don’t get it, do you? It doesn’t matter how many times we do this little dance. You never learn who calls the shots. Un-fucking-believable,” he huffs. “I don’t give a shit if it hurts - you can forget about getting wet now. Spread your legs.”

Roman situates himself behind you as you spread your legs, though it’s not enough. Roman holds the backs of your knees in his hands and spreads you wider, the cool air a jarring sensation against your hot, pulsing sex. He unbuckles his belt and tosses it on the floor where it lands with a loud thump. He undoes his pants next, the zzzzip noise slow and loud as the metallic teeth separate one by one. Roman pulls his already-hard cock out and before entering you, brings his palm to your mouth. “Don’t say I don’t do anything for you. Spit.” 

You lift your head and spit into his palm, and he strokes his cock with it before pressing his blunt head against your entrance. You squeeze your eyes shut and suck in a breath, anticipating what’s to come. 

Roman thrusts violently into you, the stretch and the burn causing you to squeal. You scramble for hold on the sheets, the pillows - anything to ground yourself as you take the pain he gives to you. Roman grabs a fistfull of your hair and yanks, “C’mon,” he goads. “You can do better than that.”

Roman pulls out of you all the way and plunges right back into you, harder than before. You bite into a comforter to muffle a sob, the first tears squeezing from your eyes. It hurts, it all really fucking hurts, and each time is worse than the last. 

He wriggles his forearm under your tummy and hikes your hips up, Roman on his knees behind you. “Fuck yourself on it,” he says. “Go on and fuck my cock. Show me that you’re good at one thing, one simple thing.” 

Following his command, you rock yourself forward, then back again. It’s slow, as that’s all you can stomach right now. The pain hasn’t yet dissipated and each movement, each twitch of Roman’s cock feels like a knife against your insides. The pain is fiery, too intense to focus on anything but. 

“Are you even trying?”

“Yes,” you whimper, till rocking, inch by little inch. “I’m trying.”

Too slow. You’re too fucking slow, and too fucking tedious. Roman rolls his eyes, “You’re fucking pathetic,” he spits, words like poison. He takes your hips in his hands and pulls you hard against his cock, his hips slamming against your ass as he sets a brutal pace. “I have to do everything for you. What can you do, huh? Tell me, say ‘nothing, Roman’.”

“Nothing,” you repeat, voice thick with your tears. “Nothing, Roman.”

“That’s right. Don’t you ever forget it, you goddamn useless fucking cunt.” Roman’s nails are digging, cutting into your skin as he fucks you like an animal. “You’re good for nothing but getting fucked. Fucking whore, you’re fucking nothing without me. Nothing.”

You nod, sobbing as he pounds into you. You’re completely powerless, just how he wants you. Roman bares his teeth as he leans over you to wrap his hand around the column of your neck, pulling you up and against his chest as he fucks up into you. Roman squeezes your throat, bruising the soft flesh as he bites into your shoulder hard enough so that he draws blood. The coppery taste, the crimson dotting your skin. He licks it away. 

He’s choking you. He’s choking you and you’re wheezing, coughing and sputtering as you try desperately to wriggle your fingers under his palm. You succeed in this, or perhaps Roman lets you have a small win - either way, you free yourself from him and crawl forward on the bed, reaching for Roman’s glass of water on the nightstand. With shaky hands, you bring the glass to your lips and take little sips, all you can handle and you’re still spilling onto yourself. Roman glares at you as he gets off and rounds the bed, then takes the glass away from you. “Did I say you could have that?”

“I was ch-”

Roman lays a brutal slap against your cheek, less of a smack and more of a beating. His palm is so sharp it makes you cry harder. Fuck, he loves when you do that. 

“Shut the fuck up. You choke if I want you to choke,” he bites. “Don’t pull that shit again. God, I fucking hate you.”

Roman forces you onto your back and spreads your legs again. He enters you just as harshly as he did before, finding that same, punishing, unrelenting pace as he fucks you deep, the head of his cock kissing against your cervix with every one of his thrusts. 

You choke on your sobs, hyperventilating as tears stream down your cheeks. You feel lightheaded, numb everywhere but where pleasure and pain flows between your hips. Breathe, you need to breathe. 

“Stupid fucking slut. I fucking h- oh, fuck. Shit. I fucking hate you. Jesus Christ, I really fucking hate you, you know that?” 

You cry and cry, burying your head into Roman’s pillows to hide your face. Roman pulls the pillows away from you and throws them onto the floor, then grabs your face, digging his fingers into the hollows of your cheeks as he squeezes your jaw. “Hey. You fucking look at me when I use you. Right here. You focus right here.” 

Your face is puffy with tears, eyes red and tear-stained, lashes all wet. Roman wears a crooked smirk as he digs his fingers harder into your cheeks so that your mouth opens in a little O shape, then spits into your mouth. “Cunt. I fucking hate you, oh, I fucking hate you.” 

Roman pounds into you, hovering over your body to cage you in. You’re gonna feel all of him, and nothing else. He pins your wrists together above your head, his face panting into the skin of your neck as he fucks you so brutally. “Oh my god. Oh, fuck. Fuck,” he moans.

If you focus hard, you can feel his pubic bone against your clit. You follow that sensation, rocking your hips to meet his thrusts, chasing that sweet friction. You could come. You could. 

“Nuh-uh. Nice fucking try,” Roman half-laughs. “You’re not subtle.” 

Standing before you, Roman grabs you by the ankles and tugs you closer to himself. He puts your legs on his shoulders and ruts into you relentlessly, now chasing his orgasm. He could’ve gone longer than this, but he’s not gonna let you come on his cock. 

Roman feels that fiery pleasure build quickly in his belly, balls tightening, indicating that release is just moments away. “Ohhhh, fuck,” Roman moans gutturally, hanging his head back as he milks himself entirely, spurting rope after rope of his hot come.

You feel cheated. You feel used. You’re a crying mess when Roman pulls out of you, his spend spilling onto his bed. “R-Roman,” you whimper, violent sobs wracking through your body. Roman gathers his spend with his fingers and paints it over your cunt, lips all swollen and sore with the ferocity of his fucking. “I need you, Roman.”

Roman leans over you, “Go fuck yourself,” he whispers in your ear. “I mean it. Fuck yourself on your fingers.”

You’re completely exhausted. Fucked out. But still, you reach for your center and gather Roman’s come on your fingertips and circle your clit, willing your release along. Writhing on the bed, chasing a pleasure only Roman can give to you. And your poor pussy is so sore, beaten and bruised by Roman. He watches you intently and with dark, loveless eyes, that vein bulging in the center of his forehead. He covers your mouth with his hand and brings the other to your cunt, pushing two fingers inside, gentler than before. He curls those fingers repeatedly as you rub circles around your clit and oh, there it is. You’re pulsing around his fingers, muffled moans signaling your orgasm. Roman works you through it and far past its end, only stopping when you’re a twitching shuddering wreck, a bug flailing on its back. Pathetic.

Roman pulls his fingers from you and shoves them past your lips, “Suck,” he murmurs, then presses his forehead against yours. You lick his fingers, tasting your own release mixed with Roman’s. “God, you’re so fucked up,” he murmurs in a saccharine tone, and the sympathy in his voice sounds almost genuine. “So fucked up. Why do you let me do this to you, huh?”

-

Roman tags ❤️

@goldenispunk @littlevenicebitch69 @gaeela-6 @bean-is-reading @slutsoutgutsout

@galarian-weezing-on-prep @cum-a-calla @pastelpinkflowerlife @kolsmikaelson

@moth-maam56 @kothku @cult-of-escapism @swiftiegirliepop @bluecookies-and-ink

@romanarose @kappasbbgirl @magpiepills

@highinmiamiii @verstappensrealwife

@thesummerpetrichor @lilipads @luiscarrutherss @pastelpinkflowerlife @baronessvonglitter

@myromeow @ovaryacted @doll-0f-flesh @/always-andromeda

[uhohdad]

(18+) ABUSE & NON-CONSENSUAL THEMES

⁺₊ ⭑⁺₊ ⭑₊⋆⁺₊ ⁺₊ ⭑⁺₊ ⭑₊⋆⁺₊ ⁺₊ ⭑⁺₊ ⭑₊⋆⁺₊

König Voiceline Inspired Drabbles

“I can make you talk.”

⁺₊ ⭑⁺₊ ⭑₊⋆⁺₊ ⁺₊ ⭑⁺₊ ⭑₊⋆⁺₊ ⁺₊ ⭑⁺₊ ⭑₊⋆⁺₊

“This is a huge misunderstanding! I just got lost!”

The coarse ropes around your wrists and ankles are unforgiving, a rashy burn igniting your skin with each desperate thrash against them. Another length of thick, scratchy rope is snug to the space between your chest and your stomach, keeping your back flush with the chair you’re secured to.

You have no idea if anyone can even hear your echoed pleas, the blindfold tied tightly around the back of your head sparing you from your unbearably quiet, freezing prison.

“Please!”

Your voice is raw and sniveling, tears soaking into your blindfold before they can crest your cheeks. You end on a whine, your head lulling forward in defeat.

The sound of a heavy metal door creaking open floods the room, and your head perks up with a gasp.

“Please, please - help me!”

You get no response, only the sound of heavy bootsteps as they approach. Intimidating and confident, each slow, rhythmic step making you brace a little tighter.

You suck in a breath through your teeth, shoulders pulled up and body trembling in your chair.

“Please,” You whisper, your shaky plea made of only breath, “I’m not supposed to be here.”

The bootsteps come to a stop in front of you, the sound of your squeaky, stuttered breaths following.

“No, you’re not.”

You flinch at your captor’s voice, rough and gravelly and stern, certainly not the voice of the savior you were praying for.

“So what are you doing here, hm?”

“I-” Your mouth is dry, words cracked and broken, “I got lost- Please! I made a wrong turn and I got lost! I- I didn’t mean-”

“I’m supposed to believe that?”

He scoffs.

“What business does a brat like you have all the way out here?”

“Wh- it was - my friend! She got drunk, she needed me to pick her up from a- a party.”

His laughs, loud and hearty and truly gut-wrenching.

“There’s nothing out here but us.”

“Y- It was a woods, thing. I don’t know! Some rave in the middle of nowhere, I swear!”

He laughs again, this one low and sinful, a deep hum stitched in.

“Nice try, liebling.”

There’s a pause, and when he speaks again, his low, raspy whisper is inches from your face. The heat of his breath on your cheek sends a shudder down your spine.

“But I don’t believe you.”

You let out a whine, your mouth parting and your brows pinching behind your blindfold.

“Who sent you here, liebling?”

“No one!”

He keeps his face inches from yours, surely enjoying the front row seat to your stammering bottom lip and your pathetic snivels.

“No one?” He asks, tone strict.

The ropes dig further into your skin at your heaved sob.

“I just got lost!”

Your captor laughs again, deep and weighty, a sound that makes your insides twist and forces another whine from your lips.

“I have to admit-”

The cocky smirk on his lips is palpable, dripping from his words and searing your skin on contact.

“I was hoping you would make this difficult for me, liebling.”

You flinch when a large, coarse glove gently melds the side of your face, a gentle thumb hooking underneath your jaw to keep your head titled up at him.

“Usually I prefer more -”

He hums in the tune of condescension as he chooses his next words.

“- Standard methods of torture - ”

He ignores your squirms and your nearly unintelligible, breathy pleas, his hand keeping your head firmly in place.

“But it’s been awhile since I’ve gotten to play with a toy as pretty as you.”

Your body stills, breaths ceasing and heart pounding against your restraints at the implication of his threatening words - spoken with an arrogant, yet eerily soft tongue.

Your captor’s gloved thumb grazes over your chin, pulling down on your plush bottom lip and watching it spring into place once released. He guides your face to the side, soft fabric smoothing against your skin as he places a lingering, clothed kiss on your cheek.

The heart beating furiously in your chest halts at the sound of his pant zipper coming undone.

When he pulls away, he keeps his low, whispered words right in your ear.

“Maybe if I take that sweet little voice away from you, you’ll be eager to use it when I give it back.”

⁺₊ ⭑⁺₊ ⭑₊⋆⁺₊ ⁺₊ ⭑⁺₊ ⭑₊⋆⁺₊ ⁺₊ ⭑⁺₊ ⭑₊⋆⁺₊

“They are no match for me”

“Let’s be honest, it’s better off in my hands”

[niyasruledbyvenus]

Astrological placements behind Destiny Swapping

I just finished a video from Chokoladka about Destiny swapping. (I really recommend giving it a watch) Which made me think about this post by @rose-maidenn relating mars nakshatras to destiny swapping. I had looked into the charts of known people accused of being destiny swappers (ex. Beyoncé, Kim kardashian, Cardi B, etc) Common placements I seen, besides mars nakshatras, was the presence of Vishakha & Venus dominance. Beyoncé has Purva Phalguni Sun & Vishakha moon, Cardi b has mercury AK in Vishakha. Whereas, Kim k has Venus AK in Vishakha. Lady Gaga Rohini (Taurus) Asc & Swati (Libra) moon, Drake has Vishakha Venus (AK) & Mercury.

In the Netflix series Behind Her Eyes the character, Rob, had Destiny swapped with Adele by getting close enough to her. Then tricking her into Astro projecting and taking over her body. Rob (Robert Aramayo) has Vishakha Sun which also serves as his Amk.

After taking over Adele’s body her husband notices that she is not the same, their marriage is unhappy and he begins having affairs. One notable affair is with Louise (Simona Brown) After finding out about the affair and how much the husband adores her. Rob (in Adele’s body) befriends Adele in hopes of taking her body as well. Louise has Dhanishtha Sun & Venus AK. Adele has Bharani (Aries) moon and prevalent Magha (Leo) placements. This shows that not only can mars dom placements destiny swap with others but also be susceptible to Destiny swapping themselves.

Dhanishtha already being known as the nakshatra most prevalent for facing mass envy and karmic fame. Dhanishtha meaning “the wealthiest” or “the most famous.” Many trends are started by Dhanishtha natives do to others wanting to copy them.

-Marilyn Monroe, Dhanishtha Moon

I would go as far to say, besides mars nakshatra, fire signs/rashis in general face problems with energy vampires & Destiny swappers because of their abundant energy and confident demeanor. Mars also being an aggressive and competitive planet in itself. Causing the natives to compete with others especially of the same gender.

Venus can destiny swap another due to its absorbant nature. Referencing @youremyheaven post on Venus natives subconsciously taking on the characteristics of another.

I would say a pattern of common Destiny swappers charts was Venus dominant, Venus AK, sidereal Libra rashi, Mars Nakshatra (goes both ways) especially Chitra, Vishakha placements, especially Vishakha AK.

The victims usually had mars nakshatras as well, Dhanishtha mainly, Capricorn/ Saturn placements, Shravanna, Jyestha nakshatras, and Gemini, Aquarius, Aries & Cancer placements/Moon Nakshatras.

-Aaliyah Magha moon, Dhanishtha Asc, Anuradha Venus

Scorpio rashis/ nakshatras Anuradha/Jyestha karmic task is to experience jealousy, evil eye or mimicking. Either done to them or them doing it to others. For example, Cassie (Sydney Sweeney) Purva Phalguni sun & Anuradha Asc copying and attempting to destiny swap Maddy (Alexa Demie) Jyestha Sun & Chitra moon. In the show Euphoria. Shoutout Claire Nakti

A real life example, is Hailey Bieber (Anuradha Sun & Jyestha mercury) copying Selena Gomez, and attempting to swap lives with her.

Now this isn’t to say if someone has these placements that they are envious and destiny swappers. Or that if they don’t they can’t. With astrology it all comes down to the individual and how they use the power given to them. Also, this was a quick personal observation that I made. Forgive me if my thoughts may come across as scattered. Just writing down what I was thinking when I was watching the video. So take it with a grain of salt.

Btw, I’m not a professional astrologer lmao

Lately, I’ve been talking a lot about mars placements/nakshatras. So feel free to let me know on what topics, placements, or nakshatras I should do next.

Thank you, sending love & protection 💕

[cleopheanne]

Bharani : the birth of Venus.

Part 1

Let's talk about ancient godesses of love and Bharani nakshatra.

I will base my research on the legend of the dead and resurrected god present in many religious myths coming from the middle east (ps : i'm sorry in advance for the grammar, syntax or spelling mistakes that you may find in this post, english is not my first language)

Bharani, situated in the heart of the rashi of aries is governed by Shukr: Venus but also by Yami and Yama in vedic mythology who are twins and gods respectfully of life and death.

Yama, the main deity of Bharani is said to be one of "8 celestial gatekeepers, who guards eight directional doorways or exits through which souls travel from an earthly plane to other planes of existence" making him the lord of Dharma since at one's death, he decides basing on his actions in what plane should one reincarnate.

Since Yama is responsible for directing the flow of life on Earth the association between bharani and the yoni becomes evident: the female reproducting system serves as a portal for souls to take on a physical form. So bharani as Claire Nakti perfectly described it relates to the feminine ability to receive, hold, nurture and ultimately transform through the womb.

Because Bharani aligns itself with all the feminine qualities by excellence it makes sense as to why Venus is it's ruler.

Venus is the roman name for the goddess Aphrodite: in greek mythology. She is said to be the goddess of love and beauty at large but also the goddess of war and sexuality. First because the ancient greeks saw the duality that links love to war and how they seem to come together through sex.

Also, Aphrodite is said to be born from the sperm of Ouranos when his testicules got cut by his son Saturn as he was always feconding Gaia, the Earth and causing her distress: he was acting cruel regarding their children. The sperm of Ouranus got mixed up with the foam of the Ocean creating Aphrodite which means "risen from the foam". So it was interesting to see that as Shukr also means sperm in sanskrit and it shows the origin of Venus as a fertility goddess too.

This conception of Aphrodite directly links her to ancient goddesses of love such as Ishtar or Inana in Mesopotamian/summerian mythology or Isis in egyptian mythology. Most of the time, these goddesses are the female counterpart of a god that was once mortal, got cursed, died and then came back to life for them to form an immortal couple.

In the case of Ishtar, her consort is Dumuzi or Tammuz and Osiris is the consort of Isis.

In Mesopotamian mythology :

Ishtar or Inana in sumerian is the goddess of love and sexuality, beauty, fertility as well as war because of her status as a " bloody goddess" mostly refering to her character in plenty of myths.

For example: in one story, she became infatuated with the king Gilgamesh, but the latter knowing her fierce reputation, refused her advances. As a result she got furious and unleashed the celestial Bull on Earth which resulted in 7 years of plagues. This celestial bull was later defeated by Gilgamesh and Endiku, and its corpse was throwed in front of Inana. Blinded by rage, she decided that as a punition Enkidu must die and sad at the death of his bestfriend Gilgamesh began his journey to find a cure to Death.

Bharani is a fierce or Ugra nakshatra meaning that its nature is agressive, bold and assertive in pursuing their goals. They are ruthless in the process of accompling what they desire the most and are inclined to extreme mood swings that can result in them to be "blinded" by their extreme emotions perfectly expressing the passionate character of Venus and her other equivalents in differents pantheons of antiquity.

Inana/ Ishtar's story with Dumuzi/Tammur begins as she was convinced to chose him by her brother Utu. Then she got married with the shepphard Dumuzi instead of whom she prefered the farmer: Enkinmdou. During the courtship, Inana prefered the fine textile of the farmer and his beer rather than the thick wool and milk of Dumuzi. The preference for the shepphard illustrates that at the time the Mesopotamian civilisation was known for their proliferent agriculture with the egyptians in the region, so this myth encapsulate the opposition between nomads and sendatary people at this specifific time period.

By the way, another symbol of Bharani is the cave and traditionnaly, the cave was used as a storage room for food. Also Bharani's purpose is Artha so these individuals are motivated to accumalate resources and provide safety and security, so Bharani can be linked to the exploitation of natural ressources like the soil illustrating the preference of Ishtar for the farmer. This is reinforced also by its Earth element.

So coming back to the myth, in a mesopotamian text called Inana's Descent to the Underworld, the goddess goes to Kur (hell) with the intent of conquering it, and her sister Ereshkigal who rules the Underworld, kills her. She learns that she can escape if she finds a sacrifice to replace her, in her search, she encounters servants who were mourning her death however she finds Dumuzi relaxing on a throne being entertained by enslaved girls. Enraged by his disloyalty she selects him as a sacrifice and he is dragged to the Underworld by demons.

He is eventually resurrected by Inana and they become an "immortal couple" as he may only come back to life for half of the year, being replaced by his son (?) who is also his reincarnation for the other half of the same years, so describing the cycle of regeneration of life.

Other mythologycal stories of goddesses in the near east describe a similar patterns:

The goddess Asherah is described as being the mother and the lover of her son Adonis.

The goddess Cybele in the phrygian pantheon takes the form of an old woman as she described as the mother of everything and of all. And at the same time she is the consort of Attis who his her own son (wtf ?)

Also, Yama and Yami are implicated in a incestuous entanglement where his sister Yama wanted to lay with him however he refused establishing himself as a god with an infaillible moral campus.

All of these representations illustrate the relation between the masculine and the feminine, life and regenration which are all topics related to Bharani nakshatra. Women by their capacity to give life are seen as the source of life and therefore are eternal as they are able to regenarate themselves through daughters which are identical to them whereas man who is unable to reproduce by himself, is therefore mortal feels the need to associate with her to resurrect through a son who is identical to him. Bharani exiting as the embodiment of the link between "the father and the offspring" which is the feminine vessel.

So this is certainly part 1, I think that these ancient myths are where Claire Nakti found her inspiration for her series on Bharani.

[youremyheaven]

Uttara Bhadrapada & Revati: Psychic Insight, Time Travel & Dreams

In my last post about Punarvasu & Swati, I had briefly gone into their association with time travel but in my research since I have found that Pisces rashi (0-3 degress Purvabhadrapada, Uttarabhadrapada & Revati) is also connected to time travel, as well as with psychic powers and using these abilities to solve crimes, prevent disasters or save others. This is an important distinction because not everybody uses their paranormal/supernatural powers to do good necessarily.

The word spirituality has been so over used in the last decade or so that it has now kind of lost all meaning as most people don't understand it in its true sense of transcending the material but instead as a way to play around with crystals or tarot or astrology, engaging with these tools in the most shallow way possible and using it as a balm to remain in the loop of earthly attachment.

Some people are born with an inherent understanding of what it means to be connected to the spirit. Due to the way religion & belief are often structured, not all of these people will identify their own beliefs as spiritual ones but you've got to admit that some people are just naturally intuitive and capable of understanding things in a way that goes beyond education or any taught knowledge. What is intuition though? Is it just a profound inner knowing? Usually, it is a combination of several things, including observational skills, the ability to be perceptive and understand what lies beyond the surface, deduction etc. Intuition isn't always knowledge from the beyond but it can also refer to the ability to read a room or a person and be emotionally intelligent enough to behave accordingly.

I am by no means suggesting that all Pisces natives are this way. They are not. But I have noticed several Pisces natives possessing a heightened sense of perception & intuition. This is just water sign culture tbh and as you'll see in the post, also extends to other rashis/nakshatras.

Derren Brown, the British magician & mentalist is a UBP Moon. He's a skeptic himself and has repeatedly said he does not possess any psychic powers but he's never really gone into his methods either. You could say that he has astute observational skills that makes his performances truly one of a kind but its pretty incredible to train yourself to do what he does; you can only build on the natural acumen you possess.

The Sixth Sense is a pretty iconic film in the "child has visions" genre and it stars Haley Joel Osment, Revati sun & mercury as well as Bruce Willis who is UBP Sun

Bruce also starred in a movie (also directed by M Night Shyamalan) called Unbreakable where his character has psychometric powers.

Psych is detective comedy drama series (very underrated imo) that features a guy who possesses eidetic memory and great observation skills and uses it to convince the police department he is a psychic.

James Roday Rodriguez who plays this character has Revati sun & mercury, Venus in Pisces (2 degree Purvabhadrapada )

Patricia Arquette stars as a psychic medium in the show Medium (honestly the police department x psychic consultant is one of my fav tropes of 2000s television). She has a Revati stellium (sun, saturn & rahu) and UBP mercury and venus.

Salma Hayek, UBP Moon, plays a psychic medium in House of Gucci (based on a true story)

Devon Sawa who played the main character on Final Destination (he has premonitions and tries to help others avoid death) has Ketu in UBP

Joan of Arc, UBP Moon went to King Charles at the age of 17 as she was guided by visions from the archangel Michael, Saint Margaret, and Saint Catherine to help him save France from English domination. Convinced of her devotion and purity, Charles sent Joan, to the siege of Orléans as part of a relief army. After several military defeats in which Joan played a role, she was put on trial by Bishop Pierre Cauchon on accusations of heresy, which included blaspheming by wearing men's clothes, acting upon demonic visions, and refusing to submit her words and deeds to the judgment of the church. She was declared guilty and burned at the stake on 30 May 1431, aged about nineteen.

Baffled is a movie about a race car driver who has psychic visions. He is played by Leonard Nimoy who has UBP Sun, Mercury in Revati (amatyakaraka) & Rahu and Swati Rising (Swati is a nakshatra that is associated with ESP but more on that later).

The Dead Zone is about a man who wakes up from a 5yr coma and learns he has psychic abilities. Christopher Walken who plays this man has Revati sun & UBP mercury (being in a coma/waking up from sleep is also a very Pisces theme a la Sleeping Beauty)

In Doctor Sleep, a sequel to The Shining, Ewan McGregor plays Danny Torrance (who has psychic abilities). He has UBP Sun

Harry's ability to see things is kinda overlooked (in Goblet of Fire for instance when he makes those predictions in Trelawney's class). We know that he sees a lot of stuff due to his connection with the Dark Lord but still. Harry's intuition has saved his ass on more than one occasion. Daniel Radcliffe has UBP Moon.

The Initiation of Sarah is a movie about a nice girl who is bullied by her sorority sisters and then unleashes her psychic powers to get even. Kay Lenz who plays her has Mars in Revati atmakaraka, UBP mercury (swati moon & rising)

Nostradamus who had prophetic visions of the future (many of which have come true) had Rahu & Rising in UBP

This brings me to Pisces' connection to time travel because if you think about it having premonitions and making prophecies is tied to an ability to see into the future; you are mentally time travelling.

I have noticed that in several instances Pisces natives are cast in time-travel movies.

Nathan Fillion who was in Firefly & Serenity (time travel series & movie) had UBP sun, Revati moon atmakaraka

Bliss (2021) a movie about alternate realities accessed through drug induced hallucinations??? (i dont know for sure the plot is kinda dense) stars Salma Hayek, UBP Moon and Owen Wilson, Swati Moon with Saturn in Revati atmakaraka

Predestination is a time travel movie starring Sarah Snook who has Revati moon & jupiter

Joseph Gordon Levitt, UBP rising stars in the time-travel movie Looper as a hitman from the future who has to kill himself.

The Girl Who Leapt Through Time is a movie about a girl who can travel through time, its directed by Mamoru Hosoda who has UBP Moon and Saturn

La Jetee is an experimental French short film about a man who travels through time to understand the past/present/future of WW3. Its directed by Chris Marker who has Ketu in Revati

Pisces is kind of obviously connected to the story of Sleeping Beauty (I'll explore this more in a separate post) but I think Pisces and dreaming (not sleeping but dreaming) are also connected.

Joseph Gordon Levitt, UBP Rising stars in Inception a movie about dream thieves essentially

Werner Krauss, Ketu in Revati starred in The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari (1920) as a hypnotist who uses a somnambulist to commit murders.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Science of Sleep etc was made my Michel Gondry who has Venus in Revati amatyakaraka (he is also Punarvasu Rising but I'll discuss more in my post about Surrealism)

Dreams (1990) is a movie by Akira Kurosawa and is based on 8 dreams he had. He is UBP Sun & Punarvasu Rising

Dreams That Money Can Buy is a surrealist film about a guy who sells his dreams to others. Its directed by Hans Richter who has Revati Sun

All of Miyazaki's movies have a dream-like quality and one is literally a dream (won't spoil by saying which one hehe). He is UBP Moon.

I have noticed many Shatabhisha natives be drawn to similar themes and tropes in their work.

Dreamscape is a movie about a psychic who works for the President of America. Its directed by Joseph Ruben who is Shatabhisha Sun & Jupiter (he also has Venus in UBP) and stars Dennis Quaid (Punarvasu Moon) as the psychic.

Firestarter is a movie about a child with psychic powers and stars Drew Barrymore who is Shatabhisha Sun & Punarvasu Moon

Jennifer Love Hewitt, Shatabhisha Moon starred in The Ghost Whisperer as a person who can communicate with ghosts.

Sissy Spacek starred in Carrie about a girl who has supernatural powers. She has Shatabhisha Moon

Scott Bakula who starred in Quantum Leap, a TV series about a scientist stuck in time, has Shatabhisha Moon

I hope this post was interesting and informative, pls lmk if you have any other examples!!

[i4bellingham]

LIES AND TRUTHS : jude bellingham x reader

in which you and your boyfriend jude goes through lie detector test.

not proofread !! 2nd part will contain jude’s questions and answers :> this is just something i quickly whipped up for you guys before opening my asks box to start writing the requests !! REQUEST box is currently temporarily closed !!

“Hello, this is Jude Bellingham...”

“And this is Y/N L/N and today, we will be conducting a lie detector test for fun.”

Jude smiles beside you before the producer behind the camera began speaking.

“So today, one of you will be strapped in a polygraph while the other will be asking five questions in total before switching.” The producer warmly smiles, raising a thumbs up. “Is everyone ready?”

You wipe your palm over your lap, nervously shaking your knees in order to calm your nerves before Jude’s putting a hand over your thighs to stop your quivering.

“A little nervous but I’d like to think I’ll be alright...” You grin nervously at the camera, watching your manager laugh at your demise behind all the staffs that were filming the current set.

“You’re showing that you're more than just nervous.”

You playfully glare at your boyfriend, managing to flick his knuckles before you're being strapped to the polygraph, now sitting in front of Jude who had a white card in his hand.

Jude's eyes skim over the questions written on the paper, a devious smirk on his lips as he takes a glance at you to which you jokingly scorn at him in return.

Seeing the signal of the producer to start, Jude begins to ask you his first question.

“Okay... first question for the beautiful lady, before you even knew or met me, was the rumors flying around about you having a crush on Marcus Rashford true?”

A deep groan left your lips after the question that was paired with a roll of your eyes as you slump on your seat, feeling the straps of the lie detector grow taut from the motion.

You refrained yourself from shooting Jude another glare, knowing all too well that he was the source of the questions in his card as much as you were responsible for yours.

You knew he was gonna use this time to tease you about matters that were left unanswered when you began dating him, partly because he was hesitant to ask you himself. But despite that, you can't see yourself lying to his question and instead answers it with a confident, “Yes.”

Jude's brows raise in faux surprise, almost seemingly innocent even though he's really not.

“Rashy!? Of all people!?”

“I mean have you seen him?” You quip back, leaning comfortably on your seat as Jude's mouth went slack. “I did. I had on crush on him when I was like 16 or something. I can't really remember much but my younger brother is a fan so I knew of him then because of my brother.”

Jude fans the card on himself before the man conducting the polygraph test raises a green card to indicate your truth.

“She’s telling the truth.”

“Wow... and I was itchin’ to know about this for two years now.” Your boyfriend says with a pout. “Do you still have a crush on him though?”

“Jude, no.” You laugh, watching as his face contort into one of disbelief before the examiner raises the green card once again.

“Truth.”

A heavy breath of relief leaves Jude’s lips before he's shooting you another jab.

“Well that's good to hear since he's engaged and got a daughter and all but you know... I'm kind of like free and ready to be wifed-up so just let me know if you want me to-”

Not only did you burst out in a fit of laughter but even the other staff present inside the studio did too, finding Jude's humor to be funny. However the owner of the joke seems to think otherwise as he looks at the camera with a (playful) frown.

“What? I'm bein' honest here.”

You shake your head, giggling on your seat. “Just hit me with the next question love.”

Clearing his throat, Jude proceeds, eyes skimming over the next question.

The small smirk dancing on his lips gave you an idea that whatever next question he may have for you was a controversial oneㅡor controversial to him rather.

“If you were to pick a sports game to watch in your entire life, what would you choose? Basketball or Football?”

“Football.” You answer straightaway.

Jude seems to be skeptical of your answer by the frown he had on his face. He knows you loved watching basketball, especially the NBA as it was one of the sports loved by your family. It was a sport that you grew up watching, supporting and loving probably more than you do with football, so for him to feel suspicious about your answer was definitely given.

“I know I didn't grow up watching football matches like I did with the NBA but having you share your passion for the sport with me, witness it happening firsthand and experience the beauty and energy of every football game that I've been to made me appreciate it just as much.” You slowly explain, clutching at the fabric of your dress. “It’s just entirely different when you have someone who plays in the league who shares their aspiration and love for their sport to me just like you do. You have a very big passion for football and every time I see you on the pitch, playing every game like it's your last just makes me root for you and the sport more. It has definitely grown on me because of my brothers and because of you that's why I chose it instead of basketball.”

From your peripheral, you can see some of the staff members, Jude’s and your manager alike possessing the same teasing smile on their lips before your boyfriend himself lets a teasing remark leave his lips.

“But who’s your favorite football player as of right now though?”

“Is that one of the question?”

Jude sighs and shakes his head. “No, but I'd skip a question to know this.”

You offer him an incredulous stare, watching as he waits for your answer.

“You know who...”

“No I don’t.”

“You played in Dortmund with him.” You reply.

Jude stops for a moment, pondering on who could it be before remembering the newly bought kit hidden in your wardrobe.

“Oh! Erling!”

You nod, “Yes him and Mbappè.”

“Oh, I didn't know that you liked Mbappè too...” Jude’s shoulders sag a bit before his flicking his card open. “Okay, next question... if you could spend a day with a football player, who would it be and why?”

“You.”

For the nth time, Jude seems to be distrusting of your answer. It must be because he now knows your current favorite football players and yet you still picked him of all people as a response to his question. If he thinks you're only doing it to appease him and to keep him from annoying the hell out of you, he doesn't comment on it. Instead, a raise brow and the pursing of his lips became a silent equation for you to divert his disbelief.

“Really!” You shriek with a small laugh.

Jude shakes his head in tune to your attempt of making him believe you.

“Really now?”

“Yes.”

“Why?” You sigh.

“Of course I’d spend every waking day I have with you. Told you countless of times, I’m all yours right? Why would I choose to spend a random day with someone I don’t even know personally when I have you?”

A smile threatened the frown Jude had on his face, slowly curving at the sides of his lips before he's flashing you his pearly whites with a small, shy grin.

He fans the questionnaire at you. “Alright, that's a valid answer right there.” He pounds at his chest like an idiot, making the people inside the filming venue laugh at his silly antics. “Oh I knew you loved me.”

You jokingly roll your eyes at him. “Of course I do. I’m with you aren’t I?”

“I would have chased you off anyways if you weren't with me...”

“You’re such a dork.”

Jude wraps a hand on the foot of your chair, slowly pulling you towards him as the camera cuts off temporarily and a staff from the production team comes over to untangle the wires from your body; all forgetting that the both of you were supposed to do a lie detector test that somehow ended up with just having your charming boyfriend send you questions after the other, and you answering it truthfully. Based on the goofy smile on Jude’s lips and the wriggling of his brows, he seems to think of the same thing before the polygraph wires are being adjusted around him.

[hyperpotamianarch]

Hello. Today, I'd like to make some random anecdotes about Rabbi Avraham Ibn Ezra - poet, commentator, linguist, mathmatician, probably not too bad at chess and cursed to be poor for the entirety of his life.

After a cursory look at his wikipedia page, I must admit I didn't really know much about his life: only that he was born and raised in Spain, went travelling, had terrible luck with everything, wrote his commentaries on the Torah for money (which I think didn't help with the "cursed to be poor" thing), befriended Rabbenu Tam in France, possibly married the daughter of Rabbi Yehudah HaLevi and promptly died... somewhere... oh, and also wrote lots of poetry in the middle.

Historically speaking, he lived at the end of the Golden Age of Judaism in Spain, around the 11th-12th centuries CE. This puts him right after Rashi - which allows him to snark at everything he thinks Rashi was wrong about, but before Rambam - which means he doesn't get to snark at everything Rambam got wrong. His commentary on the Torah leans a little towards the linguistic side, though he has a couple of other things going on as well, like roasting people he disagrees with (Ben Zuta is the only friend a bull has, anyone?) and dancing around verses he thinks were added later to the Torah, like every time it says "to this very day".

He also wrote one of the first math books in Hebrew - Sefer HaMispar, he wrote a poem about chess, one about how whatever he'll work at he won't get enough money. And generally, he wrote poems. Quite a lot.

I suppose at this point I should mention something: Hebrew linguists were, at the middle ages, predominantly Sepharadi. I mean, sure, there could be a non-Jewish Hebrew linguist, but for some reason I don't hear much about those. And there probably were Ashkenazi linguists, but there weren't many of them. Rashi does deal with linguistics - but half the time he does, it's using the books of two famous Sepharadi linguists. The Sepharadim, living in Muslim lands as they were, simply had a better background with learning Hebrew, since they were surrounded by speakers of a closely related language - Arabic. And Ibn Ezra's deep understanding of Hebrew led to him loving linguistic riddles, which I can never figure out - and I was reading an eddition with footnotes! Though maybe I didn't make enough effort or something.

But no, the reason I wanted to talk about Ibn Ezra was the impossible standards for poetry, as set by Sepharadi poets. You see, Jews were always influenced by their surroundings, in multiple facets. and poetry is definitely one of them. So, the influence from Arab poets includes strict rules for rhythm and - and this is what I actually wanted to talk about - rhyming.

The rythm thing is bad enough. Only once in my life have I tried keeping up with that. It was very, very hard. It's probably because I'm not used to this, but no song I write can keep a consistent rhythm and meter, and that's without trying to apply the standard Sepharadic rules. So trying to have such a strict meter... didn't work well for me. I guess I'm the frenchman from

וּמִי הֵבִיא לְצָרְפַתִּי בְּבֵית שִׁיר,

וְעָבַר זָר מְקוֹם קֹדֶשׁ וְרָמָס;

וְלוּ שִׁיר יַעֲקֹב יִמְתַּק כְּמוֹ מָן,

אֲנִי שֶׁמֶשׁ, וְחַם שִׁמְשִׁי וְנָמָס.

which was actually written about Rabenu Tam, but I'm a distant relative of his so this might still be applicable. Besides, as far as you know my name is Ya'akov, just like Rabenu Tam! (Sorry for not providing a translation, the gist is "how dare a frenchman trample all over poetry?!")

But rhymes. Oh, the Ibn Ezraic rhyming standards.

According to Ibn Ezra, one must always rhyme with the entire syllable. So no, just the last sound isn't enough. In Ibn Ezra's book, rhyme and dime don't actually rhyme - though I don't think he'd care about English at all. For the Ibn Ezra, shor and ḥamor can't be rhymed with each other; shor can rhyme with Mishor, and ḥamor can rhyme with har hamor, but you can't rhyme any other pair of those with each other. And I can't stay up to this challenge. It's nearly always impossible for me to find proper words to rhyme even without the extra demand for the rhyme to be the entire syllable. With English I don't think I even bothered or ever will. You have too many weird syllables for me. But with Hebrew... I do try with Hebrew, really. But I can't keep this up. And the most frustrating thing? It doesn't appear other Ashkenazi writers had this problem.

Now we get to the interesting part. I have been trying lately a new possible format for my very-anticipated-and-definitely-not-only-I-want-it Jewsade fanfic: introduction, preface and Haskamot to books. I just really enjoy reading prefaces for books, and one of my recent favourite pieces of writing is the conclusion piece of the Vilna edition of the Babylonian Talmud. If you're interested - it can be found in most editions of the Talmud at the very end of Masechet Nidah. The piece describes the trouble they went through to publish this edition of the Talmud and it's very interesting. Another favourite piece of mine is the preface of the Levush, a slightly obscure Halachic book from the time of the Shulchan Aruch. If you've ever seen me talk about the race to Halacha - this is my source for that, because the poor author was upstaged about three to four times by other people doing exactly what he planned on doing. I highly recommend this piece as well, though I don't know how easy it is to find. And the Levush - Rabbi Mordechai Yeffe - is a nice Ashkenazi guy. So he must be more lenient with his rhymes, right?

Well, I guess I didn't establish that part. Yes, the preface to the Levush starts with a poem. It's fun. It's great. It's also up to the Ibn Ezraic standard, while my attempt to write an equivalent is... not.

Huh. This post is oddly rambly. Ah well, maybe someone will like it. Anyway, the preface portion that really takes the cake is actually one from a fairly recent obscure book - like, this one was written barely a century ago. I only found it because one of my favourite singers, Aharon Razel, made a song out of it, but the song doesn't really capture the hilarity of the piece. Do ask me if you want to hear more, this one's great.

Signing off with a "darn you, Ibn Ezra! Why must you set such high standards!"

[pubbamoon]

Western Astrology vs. Vedic Astrology

Hi and welcome! Happy Pride Month for everyone who celebrates that, by the way. Also, I want to say something before I get into the topic. You know I thank you on almost every post I make for the support you give me. I got over 100 followers and over 1000 notes after just a week of posting astrology stuff here on Tumblr. This rapid growth of my Tumblr account really tells me that someone actually can resonate with my observations and that I'm doing the right thing. Now let's get into the topic! This post is going to be about the differences between Western astrology and Vedic astrology and there's a lot of them. I've been studying Vedic astrology for a year now and I can say that both types of astrology make sense and are accurate, but they're also too different from each other. I'm gonna explain further on this post which differences are present here.

Disclaimer: This post will be based on my own opinion only. I don't force anyone to think like me or to follow certain type of astrology and to judge another type of astrology. My goal is to share the knowledge I've gained for years and to expand someone's horizons if it's needed. That's what my Tumblr account is actually about.

Western astrology is a heliocentric type of astrology where the Sun is placed at the center of this system and that's why the Sun represents our zodiac sign. The natal chart of Western astrology looks like a circle and it reminds of the heliocentric system as well. Western astrology is also a geocentric, because those type of astrologers use the horizon of the planet Earth and they analyze each planet's move while looking at the sky. There's 12 zodiac signs and 12 months.

The Western astrology mostly depends on the seasons (spring, summer, fall and winter) and the signs whose season starts at the beginning of the season (Aries starts the spring, Cancer starts the summer, Libra starts the fall and Capricorn starts the winter) are considered as cardinal signs and the leaders of the zodiac.

The fixed signs are the ones which continue the season (Taurus continues the spring, Leo continues the summer, Scorpio continues the fall and Aquarius continues the winter). That's why these signs are always described as stubborn and undesirable for changes.

The mutable signs are type of signs whose season start between the end of the one season and at the beginning on another season. (Gemini ends the spring, Virgo ends the summer, Sagittarius ends the fall and Pisces ends the winter). That's why they're mostly perceived as adaptable to the almost every situation they're into.

The signs in Western astrology are also divided into a fire signs (Aries, Leo and Sagittarius) an earth signs (Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn), an air signs (Gemini, Libra and Aquarius) and a water signs (Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces). They're also divided into a masculine (fire and air signs) and a feminine signs (earth and water signs).

Keep in mind that Western and Tropical astrology are synonyms, two different words, but have the same meaning. You can use planets from Sun to Pluto in this type of astrology. Same with the house system, such as Placidus or Whole Sign, you can use any other house system you want in Western astrology.

On the other hand, Vedic astrology is based on the fixed stars, constellations or nakshatras. They are all synonyms. There's overall 27 nakshatras with the 12 signs and each sign has three nakshatras. The Moon and Ascendant (Lagna) are the most important things in someone's Vedic birth chart (Rashi chart or D1 chart) and then the Sun comes after when it comes to the importance of planets. The Moon represents our zodiac sign and our birth nakshatra in Vedic astrology, not the Sun. Each planet rules over the three nakshatras in Vedic astrology. Every nakshatra has its own deity, yoni/animal, symbols and planetary ruler.

The signs go 24 degrees backwards in Vedic astrology, but it depends on which Ayanamsa is used. Vedic astrologers mostly use Lahiri which is the classical and the most used Ayanamsa. You can have Taurus Sun in tropical natal chart, but Aries Sun in sidereal natal chart. Or you can have Taurus Sun in both tropical and sidereal natal chart. It's not always black and white. Mind you that Vedic astrology and Sidereal astrology are synonyms too.

Degrees are so important in Vedic astrology, because the planet with the highest degree in our vedic birth chart is one of the most important planets and it represents our life purpose in general. This planet is called Atmakaraka. The planet at the second most highest degree represents our career and profession and it's called as Amatyakaraka. The planet at the lowest degree represents our partner and future spouse and it's called as Darakaraka. The degrees are important here because of the nakshatras too.

This is how the North Indian style of Vedic birth chart looks like. This is a style of vedic birth chart I use the most, 'cause it's the easiest style for me to analyze someone's natal chart.

This is, on the other hand, the South Indian style of the Vedic birth chart. You can use whichever style of the birth chart you want.

Those are the objective differences of the Western and Vedic astrology. Now I want to get into the subjective differences I personally saw while using both types of astrology.

My personal difference between Western and Vedic astrology is that the Western astrology is generalizing and more obvious, while the Vedic astrology is a little bit deeper and more complex. The Sun represents our external presence and how we behave in outside world, maybe that's why the Western astrology is so obvious and why people from the western society are so egocentric and success-oriented generally. Vedic astrology gets more deeper, because the Moon is the most important planet there and it's associated with our inner world, emotions, mind, home etc. The placements from the Vedic birth chart describe more what we are inside, while the Western natal chart describes what we are outside.

Another difference I see is that the Vedic astrology uses religion and mythology, mostly the Hindu one, while the Western astrology doesn't use religion, especially the modern type of the Western astrology. Like I said previously, each nakshatra has its own deity and mythology, while this doesn't apply to the Western astrology at all.

Okay, that would be it. I hope you enjoyed it and see you very soon. Have all a wonderful day!

Best regards,

Paky McGee

[ace-hell]

Ok so my grandma(dad side) went to a special institution that do research on you family name and give your this weird certificate that explains sruff about the family name, origin, meaning etc. So she did on 4 family names:

Her husband's

Hers-dad side

Her mother's - dad side

Her mother's (again)- mother side

And APPARENTLY i have a linage of THREE important rabbis(which one was literally a sofer stam) but that's not all- one of the family names can be traced to RASHI(רש"י) himself???

AND NOT ONLY THAT, which is HUGE, but there's a big fat chance RASHI is a descendant of THE KING DAVID?????

"european" MY ASS NOT ONLY IM NATIVE JEWISH I ALSO MIGHT HAVE A ROYAL HERITAGE????

I know there are another like thousands who should have it too but literally wtfff

I am so psyched out of my mind WHAT THE HELL

[vindelllas]

the femininity of shani (what we can learn from pushya) 🌷

🌷 monica bellucci: pushya chandra

🌫️ The mystical tundra of Shani is often overlooked by its restricting feminine complexity and misconstrued for the nature of Buddha (the tantalizing serpent of Ashlesha). While their indirect submissive natures are similar in comparison, it is often natives of Mercury who use this explicit behavioral pattern for more materialistic, perhaps conniving, matters at hand. In this exploration of Shani’s ancient connection to divine femininity, I want to purposefully disclose that their submissive, seemingly “neutral” expressions are not the same. Buddha is the snake of binding to the collective for the intent of freedom and entangling or ensnaring their victim for the purpose of disempowering. Shani is the snake of binding to the contemporary nature of society for the intent of cooling the darkness of ego and empowering the higher collective. Buddha bestows the intelligence of the material aspects of the subversion into the intellect of worldly matters. However, Shani is the intelligence of the occult undertones which control the very essence of the material plane and the union of what is to come after we conquer the very shadows of the tenth house (the rashi of capricorn who will be the awakening of the realm, once we are released from Kali Yuga) to the hidden truths of the eleventh house, the supposed house of personal ties and fulfillment.

🌷 jessica lange: pushya lagna

☔️ There is a specific air of mystery around Shani and the graha’s corresponding nakshatras, bhavas and rashis. Much of the information provided is rather repetitively regurgitated from varying sources and of surface nature. My goal with this exploration is not to specifically delve in the expressional aspects of Shani, but to focus on the graha’s distinct involvement in the path of divine femininity. My hope is this exploration will awaken the serpent of knowledge within you, to explore the more niche archetypes within the vata umbrella that is Saturn.

🌷 miranda kerr: pushya lagna

⛩️ Vata dosha is most synonymous with cold, bereaved individuals who search this earthly plane longing for sustenance. It is the cold hands that seek to grasp the tangibility of spiritual words, it is the homeless widow who was once filled with wanderlust now bereaved, it is the drowsy feeling that surmounts when you look upon the rain beating down on your window pane. It is the dosha characteristic of the feelings we most disdain and wish to shy away from and simultaneously the realm of Shani, Chandra, and Rahu. We have heard the tales of the greedy, insatiable spirit of Rahu; the forgetful, lusting of Chandra; and the forever dried and cold spirit of Shani. Having repeatedly heard the rhetoric of these respective deities, a certain air of weariness has surrounded them respectfully. But you must continue to remind yourself of the necessity of attaining equilibrium and leaning into each graha’s meanings, teachings, and significances. If you are dominant in either of these vata grahas, know that you are more than the sterile or greedy archetype that has been placed upon you, as Kali (Shani) was equally as ferocious as she was creationist, Chhinnamasta (Rahu) was equally as violent as she was self-sacrificing, and Bhuvaneshvari (Chandra) is equally as intimidating as she is the supreme being of the earth, atmosphere, and heavens.

🌷 paris hilton: pushya chandra

🩸 In a similar fashion, the ethereal air of vata is equally as destructive as it is light, cool and dry. It governs all movement and processes in your mind and body (such as blood flow, breathing, and the coagulation of thoughts in your mind). This rulership of movement is why Shani is so astute and articulate within the realm of femininity. Shani is able to manipulate the vata element to attract and constrict around those we long to unite with. These elements of constriction are often associated with Ashlesha/Buddha, but significantly vary from each other.

🌷 gisele bundchen: pushya surya

🐍 Think of the Pushya nakshatra, the “Kula” star, resembling the flower of the snake gourd. Similar to Ashlesha, Pushya is also associated with serpentine movement. It is the maternal snake before it enters the stage of selfishness. It is focused on laying its cosmological eggs, whereas Ashlesha is the mother after this stage that abandons the cosmic eggs of Brihaspati (carefully crafted in Punarvasu) to never return or protect her young again. Ashlesha is leering into the gandanta knot spirituality of disempowering the collective, coiling up to rest in preparation for the spiritual shedding that awaits in Magha. Pushya is leering into the birthing of the collective itself. With the knowledge of vata dosha, Pushya is able to tap into previous experiences of destruction and coldness to relate to others. Using those previous experiences to further divulge into the mystified unknown that often longs to be hidden.

🌷 kate moss: pushya lagna

💒 This is why the cancer rashi is essential for developing cosmic energy and harnessing/wielding it. The cancer rashi is ruled by Chandra, of which is correlated to the Kamala Mahavidya (the vata being whose symbolism is comparable to that of Aphrodite or the Christian Mary). The primary “devastating” nature of vata is what sprouts fertility and purity, as the dirtiest mud will produce the freshest lotus. It is recommended in order to celebrate her, devotees engage in eating spicy, hot foods, as they ignite passion. These spices may include cinnamon, garlic, saffron, or chili peppers due to heavily spiced foods having the ability to bear this Mahavidya’s luscious energy. These same foods are associated with the vata Shani, in a similar fashion, Shani and Chandra are considered enemies but respectfully hold the cosmic keys to one another through the likes of Pushya and Shravana. The metaphor for the consumption of extreme vata spices that one earns the ability to celebrate and veneer the Mahavidya in her idealistic form is comparable to the narrative of sacrifice one must engage in to witness beauty (spiritually and physically). Aphrodite was offered sacrificial doves (bird’s being Shani’s primary vahana: vehicle) and smoky incense (smoke being ether in nature which is of vata dosha) in an attempt to receive love, fertility, and union. Whereas, the Virgin Mary was deemed pure due to her great sacrifice when she offered up the life of her Divine Son Jesus using her “Immaculate Heart” (similar to Kamala’s abundance in the anahata/heart chakra). In “A Prayer of Praise to the Blessed Virgin Mary” by St. Ephrem, he sang: “….Thou indeed art our only hope, most sure and sacred in God's sight, to whom be honor and glory, majesty and dominion, for ever and ever, world without end. Amen.”. Similar to Kamala, Aphrodite, and the Virgin Mary, so too must the masses work to earn the right to witness Shani’s femininity due to its premiere selectivity. This is why Pushya births the highest grossing models and revolutionary actresses in history [e.g. Halle Berry, Twiggy, Marlene Dietrich, Selena Gomez (who is now the most followed woman on Instagram) etc.], as the masses find pleasure in working to witness the mysticism vata bestows.

🌷 selena gomez: pushya surya and lagna

🍷 This mysticism is often deemed “odd”, “exotic” or “unique” and this is exactly where we can learn from the Mahavidya Kali. The darkened Mahavidya Kali breaks conventional stereotypes of feminine beauty and sexuality in Hindu goddess mythology. She serves as the dominant sexual partner straddling the prone Shiva (the master of poison and medicine, the great yogi, overlord of time, the cosmic dancer) and the wild warrior goddess drinking demon blood. She is originally depicted as a symbol of uncontrolled fury emerging from the fair, beautiful goddess Ambika (goddess of supreme power, energy and invincibility), in the battle with the demons in older Vedic texts. Thereafter, she gains independent existence both as the dark, mysterious and sexually demanding version of the more benign and auspicious Parvati and the primordial goddess power pre-dating the Hindu trinity of male gods, the Universal Mother Force which embraces both good and evil, gods and demons in the Kalika Purana. Unlike other texts which emphasize Kali's role in the battle against the demons, the Kalika Purana's focus is on her sexuality and her darkly sensual beauty. Equally it is on the heterodoxical rituals associated with her worship involving blood and flesh offerings, wine and the use of sexual intercourse as opposed to Vedic rituals.

🌷 dakota fanning: pushya chandra

❤️‍🔥 In Kalika Purana, Daksha’s daughter Sati, born fair, assumes the fearful visage of Kali and the other Mahavidyas to terrify Shiva into submission. At Daksha’s yagna, her father attributes her dark color to constant proximity to the wild-mendicant Shiva, causing her to give up her life in sorrow and humiliation. In the second portion of the Purana, she takes the dark and beautiful form of Parvati, similar to the appearance of a blue lotus. She was born to serve the gods’ purpose of luring into domesticity the stern, austere hermit-like Shiva to preserve the cosmic cycles of creation, preservation and destruction. It is only later, piqued and jealous of Shiva’s propensity towards fair-skinned goddesses that she emerges from her kosa (sheath) of darkness to become the golden-hued Gauri. Yet her darkly alluring and compelling sexuality is highlighted in the text as opposed to the prototype of a domesticated wife and mother like Candi in the Candi Mangal Kavya. John Stratton Hawley in his Prologue to “Devi: Goddesses of India”, noted that Kali in a strange way mediates between the transcendent goddess, the generic Devi who has supremacy over all forms of life and the consort goddesses like Lakshmi and Radha. Hawley wrote: “On the one hand, Kali unquestionably manifests herself as supreme—whether as a mother demanding submission or as an uncanny, uncontrollable force—but on the other hand, her supremacy is paradigmatically measured by the power she exerts over her consort the great god Shiva”. He detailed an example of her sexual dominance, the iconic representation of Kali dancing wildly on the prone, ithyphallic corpse of her husband Shiva. The Kalika Purana initially projects her as the manifestation of the universality of divine femininity, Mahamaya, who is Visnumaya and Rudrani consort of both Visnu and Rudra (Shiva). She is Savitri, Saraswati, through the power of her maya (illusion), incomprehensible to all who are ensnared in her power of illusion. She is Visnu’s Yoganidra, his state of cosmic sleep or stasis. She is Yogamaya/Mahamaya, who ensnares the cosmos in her web of illusion, she is Mahamoha, the fatal enchantress and the Supreme Trinity itself is not immune to her mysterious lure. Another goddess text, the Sri Lalita Sahasranama calls her Mahabhoga and Bhogini implying her rajasik-rupa (dynamism, also material grandeur) of being steeped in worldly luxuries. Yet she is the path to mukti (salvation) for beings trapped in the worldly and materialistic which is all part of her cosmic illusion. The Sri Lalita Sahasranama also states that she is Mohanasini, destroying the moha (bondage) of her devotees and Pasu-pasa-vimocini, releasing them from the inferior, coarser earthly bonds. She is Vidya (knowledge) for the householder who desires mukti (salvation), and Avidya (ignorance) who binds the universe in bonds of material desire. She is the primeval Demi-Urge, the Adyasakti that activates the inert maleness of Shiva into the dynamism of the Shiva-Sakti or Purusa-Prakrti union for without Sakti, Shiva is but a sava (corpse). Among the Sakta devotees it is Kali amongst the many manifestations of the divine feminine who is recognized as the Adya-murti, the original goddess manifestation. In the text, Kali alone can awaken the virility within Shiva, for on the one hand, she is a yogin to participate in his yoga and on the other, it is her eroticism, wild and uncontrolled, which is the perfect counterpart to his dominant sexual urges.

🌷 marlene dietrich: pushya chandra

🦶 Kali is feared in Hindu mythology as the negative stereotype in goddess cults and paradoxically revered as the Universal Mother. In a similar fashion, Pushya natives serve as the nourishing udder they are symbolized as, flowing with the golden knowledge of Brihaspati; yet their propensity for awakening occult knowledge and powers within their partners is hidden within the little knowledge the public has on this nakshatra. Kali’s iconic delineation, girded and garlanded with skulls and limbs while her hand is raised in the abhayamudra (gesture of reassurance from fear) indicates both chastisement and benediction. As a dark, complex, mysterious and alluring figure, she breaks conventional stereotypes of feminine beauty and sexuality, combining the beautiful with the fearful. Thus, explaining Pushya’s propensity for both embodying and challenging feminine stereotypes in the media (such as Paris Hilton’s hyperfemininity, Marlene Dietrich’s well-known portrayal for characters challenging the submissive standard of the 1900s, Halle Berry’s intimidatingly complex “Storm” character). In a traditionally patriarchal society and an androcentric religious order, Kali emerges as a rebel; dominant in marital and sexual relationships, ferocious, and bloodthirsty on the battlefield. Existing on the fringes of the dharmic value system and Vedic ritualism, the Kali-centric myths teeter dangerously on the extreme peripheries of social and moral acceptability in the iconic projection of her black nudity, voluptuous breasts, bloodstained, her foot on the prostrated corpse-like body of her consort Shive, and the sacrificial blood and flesh rituals associated with her worship.

🌷 angelina jolie: pushya lagna (note her films are wonderful examples of the nature of Pushya, from her Maleficent character’s sheep-like creature (the yoni of Pushya) to her dominatrix role, symbolizing the dark sexual subcultures of Shani in B*SM)

🍒 Kali conveys maya as seen from the “other shore”. She illustrates what the world of appearance looks like to the one who has seen beyond her overall presence (which is described as frightening) and her dwelling place lying within the cremation ground mocks the ultimate significance of a world grounded in the ego. In her “mad dancing, dishevelled hair and eerie howl, there is made present the hint of a world reeling, careening, out of control”. In conclusion, Kali, in integrating absolute binaries of the terrifying and the beautiful, the compassionate Mother and the blood-thirsty demon destroyer, the consort of Shiva and the sexually dominant partner draws a more comprehensive image of non-duality that is beyond the reductivist social and religious definitions of what is acceptable or what is heterodox. So too Pushyas embody life as it is in all its wild and abundant complexity, not as it is selectively made out to be within social and religious peripheries. They embody divine femininity in all its complexity; serving as the slivering synthesis of both the auspicious and benign goddesses, the wild, and uncontrolled. Like the Adyasakti, the primeval cosmic force, they represent both the good and the evil, the godly and the demonic of which the cosmos is composed, all of which arise from the intersection of the nakshatras in cancer rashi (as detailed above).

👄 It is important to note that the dominant female sexuality, the prolonging of intercourse in the Shiva-Shakti union, is not an exercise of power associated with the sexually dominant partner. Its ultimate purpose is the awakening of the dormant kundalini shakti (vital energy), which rises up the spine through the various chakras within us to culminate in the sahasrara (the thousand-petalled lotus) on the top of the head, the psycho-spiritual center. It envisages the path from pravritti (intense activity) to nivritti (cessation of desire) in this act of sacred sex. It defines a path of realization through indulgence without bondage (associated with Shani) to the senses (that of rahu/chandra), rather than through deprivation and denial of the sensory experiences. The myths and the cults of worship associated with Kali therefore strip life of its absolutes to envisage a more comprehensive and all-inclusive vision.

* all of these placements were found using astrotheme/.com and/or astro-charts/.com. it is important to note that some chandra (moon) placements may be off by up to 6 degrees and lagnas (ascendants/rising signs) as well, due to the fact that many websites do not have 100% accurate birth times for the given celebrities.

xoxo, angel 💋 (the beauty of ashwini is coming soon lovelies)

[marsprincess889]

Vedic astro mini post_ look at your moon rashi and nakshatra

Creativity, depth and connection to yourself.

🌙🌕

There's a good reason why moon is considered the most important placement. Even if on the surface another element, sign or nakshatra dominates, nothing will resonate with you quite like your moon placement.

But another placement rivals its personal significance and depth, and that's Ketu.

Oftentimes, Ketu is present in every part of a native and their life, because it's quite literally their "foundation". As a result, when people creatively express themselves(putting their essence in something), Ketu placements show up thematically, and usually as the true, core meaning of whatever they made. But Moon is there too. Consider this: if creativity is a state of flow and play, then it requires a state of comfort and ease to access it, which is the Moon.

Moon can be seen as the "key" to Ketu's world. Moon's sign, house and nakshatra placement can indicate experiences or anything that pushes a person into a mode of comfort and ease. And that can trigger creativity. (Claire nakti has a great video on YT about Ketu and creativity. She also touches on how moon's nakshatra shows up more obviously or in terms of the general "setting" of the story in that or another video)

Inspiration itself is seen through 5th house, Venus and Ketu.

You can definitely use this to analyze your own creative process, or just how you go about life in general, esp regarding flow, ease, enjoyment and playfulness. You can also spot connections between your and your fav astrists'/creative people's charts.

You can obviously connect with people who have your big three nakshatras in their big three, also with their yoni consorts. You're also almost certainly will feel a familiarity or a "knowing" with people who have your ketu nakshatra in their big three. You might resonate deeply to the creative works of people who have your moon nakshatra as their ketu. (I definitely go "wow" when I read a Kafka quote or listen to Hans Zimmer, both have Bharani ketu).

Anyways, the connection you have to your moon's sign and nakshatra is literally the first thing you should look at. For me, I keep forgetting I'm an Aries🔥🐏 with a Venus nakshatra💕. Fire_ this is important to me, even if my Sun and Asc are in Earth signs and I have nothing else in the fire element. I do relate to the theme of fire strongly and it touches a way deeper part of me than for example, themes of Earth and abundance, as relevant as they still are. It's about the personal significance and the depth of it_ that is what can't be recreated.

[technocite]

Hex specbio/speculations/headcanons below the cut? Or something. It’s extraordinarily important to me that these freaks are biologically weird and all fucked up and eat people

I think the helminth has fucked up their metabolism and the composition of their bodies have changed dramatically, so while they all weigh much more than they did pre-infection they are all pretty malnourished and have a much lower weight than what would be ideal or healthy for them. Like, you can probably see their ribs. Their daily caloric needs have skyrocketed, and their bodies require supplements of elements that the human body would not normally have in large quantities (ex: titanium or some other mineral or whatever) Deficiencies in required metals can cause pica-like cravings and starvation will trigger the technocyte to resort to more drastic means of resource acquisition (rashy patches of undifferentiated steel flesh that will literally start to eat away at bandages and clothes dark sector style). The techrot is paradoxically the best food source for the Hex due to having an ideal mineral composition (the helminth, being a much more advanced future version of the technocyte, can easily overpower and digest the techrot) but the social and psychological implications of feeling compelled to shovel mouthfuls of the creeping cancer goo that’s destroying society aren’t exactly fun. And the Hex are reluctant to engage in behaviors that would accelerate their transformation- whether they are completely aware of what exactly they’re turning into or not. (I assume Entrati left out some important information on what getting infested with the helminth actually entails- the Hex may not have been fully aware that it would turn them into faceless screaming monsters when they volunteered. I might be proven wrong when the quest comes out. For now, I’m operating under the assumption that the Hex have some vague idea of what they’re turning into, but also don’t exactly know what a warframe is. They might not even be aware that their strain is from the future and was manufactured to create super-soldiers in a vast interstellar war. DE please let these freaks not be aware they’re in a space opera it would be so funny)

So this basically means that everyone in the Hex have the munchies 24/7. Early on when they worked with Entrati they might have been able to stay on top of their metabolic needs, but life on the run as fugitives in the apocalypse has definitely cut into their ability to access adequate nutrition. (Maybe low blood sugar is one of the reasons Arthur faints all the damn time) This only exasperates the whole ‘inhuman bloodlust’ aspect that they’re all dealing with and they’re doing their best to not resort to cannibalism. So everyone’s uncomfortably ignoring the dead Scaldra agent they stumbled across while scavenging for resources and are all of a sudden very stressed out and irritable with each other (they all got hit with the compulsion of maybe they can eat that and are frightened by themselves and refuse to talk about it out loud)

I can imagine that in the heat of the battle they might find themselves tooth-deep in some scaldra’s neck without even thinking- maybe even end up in an irrational frenzy and have to be pulled off of whoever they’re trying to eat. Like darkest dungeon crimson curse style frenzy if you get that reference.

Uhhh can’t think of more thoughts so that’s it for now. Its extremely embarrassing how much they occupy my brainspace these days

[azulera]

Rashy noticing that's something has been wrong with you for the last few weeks and you just won't tell him and he's stressing trying to figure it out

azulera

Don’t Leave Me Alone

Pairing: Marcus Rashford x Black Reader

Words: 3.5k

Notes: ngl recent events have made me not even want to post but i already had this done and as i said, i do value that ppl like my writing enough to send requests. so here is this! hope u like it anon

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They'd picked the summer time to move in, late May to be exact, and Marcus was sure it was the smartest decision he’d ever been a part of. The prem season was ended, Y/N was out for the semester, they both had at least five weeks free to travel and relax, and there’d be no cold for the mover’s fingers to go blue in. The transporting itself had gone smoothly, each of her things finding its place in the huge expanse of his house, and the past month and a half of eating, sleeping and waking next to each other had been as nearest to perfect as Marcus thought life might get. So he couldn’t explain what, in the last seven days, could have possibly gone wrong.

“Is everythin alright, love?” He asked over the dinner table, which was sanded wood and brought over from Y/N’s apartment, much smaller than the one he’d used before.

She looked up from her plate and blinked. “Do you mean about dinner? I think I finally got the potatoes right this time, yeah.”

“No, not the food.” The side of his mouth lifted. “You’ve just seemed a bit down, this week, I don’t know. Just wanted to ask, see if there was anythin buggin you?”

“Oh,” She passed a hand over her hair. “Just tired, I guess. It was a rough semester.”

“Yeah, it was – you smashed it, though. But,” He paused until she looked at him, and was immediately taken by her brown eyes, which, unreadable as they were, he’d always found incredibly beautiful. “If anything’s wrong, you can tell me. I’d want to help.”

“Mhm.” She replied, and flitted her eyes away, pushing up from the table. “Let’s clean up?”

He nodded, though he wasn’t convinced, and stood up to take their few dishes to the kitchen. They rinsed and loaded in a silence not as comfortable as it ought to have been, and soon finished, Y/N pausing in front of the rumbling machine. From behind, Marcus pulled her into an embrace, fitting his hands around her waist and mumbling into her neck.

“Wanna come cuddle wi’me for a bit? We can watch the next Narcos.”

He felt her take a deep breath, and then lightly pat the hand that held her.

“I’ve got a little headache, actually. Think m’gonna lay down for the night.”

Marcus frowned. “You want me to watch the next episode? Without you?”

“Yeah, go ahead – I’ll get caught up when you’re on your trip next week. I’d just really like to lay down.”

Fatigue colored her voice, and Marcus felt a little more sure that she really was just under the weather, and not anything worse.

“D’you want me to bring you tea? Water? Medicine?”

She shook her head “no”, and turned around, another sigh hitting the fabric of his t-shirt.

“S’alright, then. Hope you get feeling better, babe.” He leaned in, pressed a kiss to her forehead, and then two to the dark spirals of her hair. “I’ll be up in a bit. I love you.”

A near silent “thank you” left her lips, and she squeezed his hand once. And then Marcus was left in the kitchen alone.

~~

After a mild pre-season session the next day, Marcus skipped showering to go straight to his car. When he’d seen her that morning, Y/N had still seemed poorly – she hadn’t left bed for tea and breakfast with him, and no silly texts or memes had come into his phone, the way they usually did during his long hours of training. Leaving now, he'd felt a strange, strong urge to get to her, like the sooner he did, the sooner things would go back to normal.

When he keyed into the house, however, her usual lounging spot – in the center of the living room sectional – was empty. As were the kitchen, bedroom, gym and laundry room that he walked to after. He found her instead on the back patio, cuddled into herself on the sunbed, with her curls spread wild and loose about her shoulders. A book was opened up and settled on her knees, and a pile of crumpled tissues sat just to her right.

“Hey, was lookin for you.”

The jitters that assailed him finally began to slow as he approached her, but didn’t fade completely.

“What’s all these for? You wasn’t crying, were you?”

“No, no, not really. It’s just this book. It’s pretty sad.” She tried to laugh at herself, but the sound came out wet and dull. “Or maybe I’m just dramatic.”

A range of emotions swept over him as he considered her pink, puffy eyes, the way she still wouldn’t hold his gaze for too long. His anxiety flared again, but he continued on with the plan he’d devised in the car, hopeful that it might still work.

“Well, I’m just about to run a bath, didn’t have time to shower after training. It could cheer you up, maybe. Did you wanna join me?”

It’s something special they do, just for them, a quiet and closeness involved that Marcus enjoyed far more than he’d ever said aloud. He hoped it would be enough to break through the wall he felt sprouting between them.

“But you’re all sweaty.” She said flatly.

He sucked his teeth, and sat alongside her on the thin mattress.

“That never stopped you before? When we were squeezed up in the one at your flat.”

“Right.” Her face fell, suddenly, as if she’d remembered something unpleasant. “But I’ve already showered, actually, a bit ago. Went out for a run.”

“That never stopped you before, either” Marcus wanted to say but didn’t, and focused instead on fixing his face to not reveal his disappointment.

“Okay.” He stalled a moment, weighing his next move. “Babe, are you sure everything is okay with you? M’a bit worried–”

“It’s fine, Marcus. It’s going to be fine, just …” She closed her eyes, and they glistened when they opened, focused seriously on his own. “I’m fine. Just stop pushing it, please.”

She gathered her book and trash and walked back into the house, which hurt him, but her last sentences hurt worse. If he wasn't meant to push, then what could he do? Sitting back and watching her pull further and further away from him was tortuous and seemed the opposite of what a good partner should do. Still, he nodded, even though she had already gone, and let his head fall into his hands.

A few hours later, in the bath, the jacuzzi jets going but alone, nothing was as it should have been. Already he missed the slide of her wet skin against his, how the brown of it went faintly pink the hotter she ran the water, which was scalding enough by Marcus’ standards. Now it felt lukewarm at best, the bubbles even less fluorescent, less bubbly than usual, without her there to scoop handfuls of them to paste on his face and chest, making herself giggle and cleaning their bodies in the process. He missed that, too, he realized, her body – it’s softness and strength, and how easily it yielded and came alive under his hands, but more concerning was her mind, which was somewhere outside its optimal state, and seemingly getting worse by the day.

He leaned his head back against the tub’s edge and sighed. It was a soft sound, quickly lost among the hum of the jets and the noise of his muscles singing and thanking him, but then he heard something else. Crying. Quiet, choked-off sobs from the other side of the en suite door, that he knew Y/N was trying to hide, but didn’t know why. The sound alone carved a hole deeper in his chest.

Before he realized it, he’d risen from the bath, shampoo still in his hair, and pushed open the door to their bedroom.

Squinting through the dark, Marcus could tell she was in the bed, asleep, or at least pretending to be. He debated whether or not to wake her – his every instinct begged him to, but the noise of tears had stopped, and he’d been specifically, harshly instructed not to “push”.

He waited several moments anyway, eyeing her sleeping form, burning up inside, but when she didn’t budge, he stepped back into the bathroom, mindful of the growing puddle he’d created on the carpet.

Under the shower head, he rinsed his hair and dried off, putting on his lotion and moisturizer in record time, all the while his mind racing, trying to settle the unease twisting up his chest and throat. When he got to the bedroom, he set his alarm and settled in under the covers behind her, as close as he dared.

Though her breaths came and went evenly, something in him, maybe something of his own creation, told him she was awake, that she could hear him. He felt free to unburden himself, and say what he wanted her to know.

“M’here for you, Y/N.” He used one arm to hold her against his chest, and the other to fix her hair scarf where it had ridden up in the back. “Hope you know that. Whatever it is, we can … fix it, talk about it, at least, together. Love you ... don’t wanna lose you.”

He knew the words were true, and could feel their sincerity aching somewhere deep in his bones. But he feared he was running out of ways to make sure Y/N believed it, too.

~~

By the following day, Marcus decided “not pushing” was no longer a viable option. Y/N was gone from bed even before him, and he turned to his night-table to find a message saying she’d gone out for an early run again and to get coffee. It wasn’t a strange occurrence on its own, but the way the last few days had gone, weeks really, this latest change to their patterns was enough to set him on a nervous edge. All through the day, his head was gone, drifting and distracted while training, and his thoughts sprinting to the worst - Y/N wanted to move out, she wanted to break up with him – in any moment he had idle.

But when his third check-in text sent from the rain-wet bed of the physio suite went unanswered, as did the two facetime call requests, it became slightly harder for him to breathe. The PT scrunched his face, but Marcus didn’t explain, wasn’t sure he’d be able to speak if he tried, and he’d been forced through two rounds of deep breathing before he’d let him off the table.

As soon as the gaffer released them, Marcus raced home through the rain that had begun to pour, calling one more time to no avail, but trying to stay rational. He imagined her sat in her spot on the big sofa in the sitting room when he arrived, apologetic and with some perfectly logical story of what had kept her from her phone all day, and what had depressed her mood the past few weeks.

He opened the front door, however, to silence, and her car keys still gone. His stomach dropped, and an icy, despairing prickle crawled over his skin. Was he overreacting? Or should he have pushed more?

Somehow he knew the rest of the house and even the back porch would be empty, just as silent, and found himself climbing the stairs anyway. His legs stopped by the room he used as his office, and he threw himself into the desk chair. He felt more calm, serious in there, for some reason, and composed himself enough to check her location, which was inconclusive, and click her contact another time. It went to voicemail once again, and he cursed, pulling at his hair.

After one heavy, frantic beat, he picked up the phone again to dial the only other number that would be useful at a time like this. The call picked up on the second ring.

“Mum?”

~~

Marcus’ car had been in the driveway when you pulled up, but when you stepped into his house – your house, now – there wasn’t any trace of him. Late afternoon training usually left him in the kitchen or theater room, scarfing down whatever meals his nutritionist prepared before conking out in his-your bed for a few hours until dinner.

You checked your phone, which had been dead up until the last five minutes when you’d connected it to the car charger, and realized it was closer to dinner time than you’d thought.

Dropping off your raincoat and bag, you went in search of him. The blaring missed calls and texts deserved a response, as hard as it would be to face him in person. You didn’t want him to worry any more than he already did, even though you felt there was little, if anything, he could do.

“Marcus?” You called up the stairs, but there was only your footsteps, the patter of rain, in answer.

You began climbing anyway, sure the sounds of the house would lead you to him, and eventually heard his voice, muffled through the closed door of his office. You stopped, and leaned against the wall to listen.

“She won’t talk to me, mum, she won’t, I’ve tried everythin. She’s not physically hurt, no, but something is wrong. I know that much. It’s like she don’t even want to be around me.”

There was a pause, and an ache began in your chest. The distress in your partner’s voice was palpable.

“But I’ve gave her space. And I’ve even asked her up front what’s wrong, and still nothin. I'm leavin for my trip in a few days, and I won’t be able to fix anythin from there. Reckon she might even be gone by then.”

Each second you listened, you fell further and further into the mire of guilt, and it seemed impossible to get out. Some external force, whose name or origin you didn’t know, forced your hand onto the knob and pushed into the room.

You met his eyes, cautious, but found nothing but relief, unshed tears in them.

“Y/N. Baby.” His voice cracked around the words, and he flew to your side of the room, crushing you to his body, burying his face in your damp hair.

“Are you hurt? Are you okay? Where were you?”

You tried, but couldn't speak around the lump in your throat. All you wanted was for him to hold you again, and to apologize for everything.

“Y/N. You’ve gotta talk to me, please. M’goin mad here, I’ve been goin mad–”

“I’m okay, Marcus. I’m not hurt.” You squeezed at his hands, trying to loosen their tight grip around your back and also trying to ground him. “Went for my run and coffee like I said, and then around to visit my mates at my old flat. My phone died, and I didn’t realize. I should’ve known you would worry.”

He looked back at you with wide eyes still, nodding slow like it was taking serious effort to comprehend the words leaving your mouth.

“I’m okay, baby. I promise.”

When he finally spoke, his voice was gravelly, but much quieter, and none of the terror gone from it.

“Y/N, look, know you asked me not to push, but I can't just do nothin while–”

“Wait, Marcus – can we sit and do this? Please. And you’ve gotta get out of this jacket, babe, it’s soaked. You’ll catch a cold.”

The familiar sound of your fussing seemed to center him further, and he slid the jacket off, settling stiffly on the futon along the opposite wall. His legs were spread wide, and he raised his hands to his knees, fingers digging into them.

Hesitantly, you followed, standing between his legs, watching his eyes, which you’d missed, and his lips, which you’d possibly missed even more. You paused before lowering yourself onto his knee.

“Is this okay?”

“‘Course” He breathed out, pulling you the rest of the way down and rubbing his hands gently up and down your back. It was the first moment you’d felt at ease in the last two weeks, and you took the time to just hug him, wiping at a drop of water puddled along his hairline. Gradually, everything that had been pent-up seemed much easier to face.

“I’ve been real distant the past weeks, haven’t I.”

“Yeah.”

“It’s cause I’ve been confused.”

“Confused about what?”

The intensity of his eyes suddenly became too much, and you pressed your cheek against his shoulder. You made sure your voice still reached him clear.

“Confused about my feelings. About us, about us living together.”

His stomach had gone cold with dread again, but you took the silence as a license to continue. You knew he would stop you if and when he’d heard enough.

“It’s been great, it really has, Marcus. You’re my favorite person to be around – you know that.” His insides smiled at the mention, since the past week had convinced him of the opposite. Still, his expression remained the same.

“And you seemed so happy, having me here. But sometimes, lately, it got — I don’t know, overwhelming? Like, I had my friends in my last flat with me, and it feels like I spend so much time here alone. When you’re here, I don’t feel like that, but that don't feel fair to you either.”

He bit his lip. “I don’t understand.”

“I know, it’s confusing, but it’s like, I’m used to my roommates, us all together, a lot of noise – even when you’re alone you’re not really alone. So whenever you get here, I want to recreate that, spend every second with you, if I can. Didn’t want you to think I was clinging, though? ‘Cause I know how that feels, too.” You paused to take a breath, and Marcus rubbed your back, silent encouragement to continue.

“Thought you should be able to come home and spend your time on your own, too, if that’s what you wanted. So I was moping, but trying to give you that, for a while. Thought that if I could give you some space until your trip next week, I’d be okay. I could use that week to get myself together, stop being ungrateful. ‘Cause I am so lucky, aren’t I? To be able to live with this person I love so much. But I guess I only made it worse.”

“So it’s findin a balance, then, that was hard. Findin ... where you and I, personal time ends, and where “us” time begins.” Marcus summarized.

There was an unspoken “Why didn’t you just say so?” at the back of his statement that your partner was too kind and too patient to say. But you deserved it, so you said it yourself.

“Exactly. But I should have told you that it was eating me up. Not tried to isolate myself, or shut you out. And I’m sorry, about that. ”

Marcus let the apology ring out, and laced the fingers of one of your hands together, a quiet absolution. You felt lighter, now, after having spoken your piece, but knew that didn’t mean the conservation was over.

“Don’t think I need to say I forgive you, because,” He leaned his chin into his palm thoughtfully, before looking up at you. “Because I really get it, you know. I do. I understand that you need your own space, to feel like your own person still. And also that I’m gone, and it’s just you here, a lot, which is new for you. I get that it’s overwhelming, that findin the balance bit. But– I’ve never done this, moved in with someone before, either, have I? It’s excitin, but it’s a lot of other emotions, too. You can’t assume how m’feeling, or how I want to spend my time, just like I can’t read your mind about what's got you upset, innit?”

He paused.

“And it’s like, we’ve gotta figure it out together, don’t we?”

You nodded.

“So when -if, you’re feelin like that again, you’ll tell me? Even if you think it’ll hurt my feelings, or whatever. And if you need to go spend extra time with your mates to feel alright, we’ll sort it. And I’ll do the same. Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

"You promise?"

You promised, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, and chin against his head. With the most difficult part of the conversation over, your senses opened up enough beyond Marcus to notice that the sound of rain outside had ceased. The wet, grassy smell of his training kit finally entered your nose, and your good humor began to stretch its legs.

“So I don’t need to go pack my things?” You mumbled into his shoulder.

“No.” Marcus snorted. “Not unless you changed your mind the last 15 seconds.”

“Nah, I reckon I’ll stay. I'd miss the jacuzzi tub too much.” You sighed. “Saying no to that bath with you was the hardest thing I ever done.”

Marcus chuckled, enough air in his chest to do so now, and kissed you lightly on the lips.

“Fancy one now?” He repeated, and your “please” was fast and enthusiastic. He scooped you in his arms, and you held tight to him, murmuring quiet “I love you”s and knowing as you walked through the house –your house– that you were exactly where you were meant to be.

[girlactionfigure]

This week’s Torah portion, Lech Lecha, begins with God’s stirring call to Avram: “Go forth from your land, from your birthplace, and from your father’s house, to the land that I will show you” (Genesis 12:1). This is more than just a geographical journey; it is the birth of a spiritual odyssey—a call to step into the unknown, to leave behind the familiar, and to set forth towards a destiny that is yet to be revealed. The phrase Lech Lecha can also be understood as “go to yourself.” It is an invitation to discover who we truly are beneath all the layers that life imposes upon us. Avram is called not only to leave his physical surroundings but also to transcend the habits, beliefs, and limitations of his past. The Alter Rebbe, in the Tanya, teaches that this journey is a lifelong one, where we must constantly strive to uncover our truest essence—to move beyond fear and comfort in pursuit of the divine spark within. Rashi tells us that God’s command to Avram was both a test and a promise. Avram was asked to leave behind everything he knew—his land, his family, the very ground beneath his feet. Yet, God promised that this sacrifice would lead to incredible blessings: “I will make you into a great nation, I will bless you, and make your name great.” This reminds us that the most profound growth often comes from stepping beyond the boundaries of what is comfortable. When we are willing to let go and walk into the mystery, we open ourselves up to divine blessings that we could never imagine from the safety of what we know. The sages say that Avram’s response to God’s call was marked by complete emunah, faith. He did not ask where he was going or demand guarantees. He simply trusted and went. This is a powerful lesson for all of us. In our own lives, we are often called to embark on journeys whose destinations are unclear. To take those steps, without knowing the full path, requires us to trust deeply—not just in God but in the promise that our lives hold meaning and purpose, even if we cannot always see the entire picture. A Chassidic teaching beautifully likens Avram’s journey to the journey each soul must undertake in its lifetime. Each of us is called to leave behind our personal “land”—the comfort zones, the places where we have settled spiritually—so that we can step into the fullness of who we are meant to be. To heed the call of Lech Lecha is to recognize that we are not static beings. We are on a sacred journey, ever evolving, always reaching towards the divine, no matter how uncertain the path may seem.

Afshine Emrani