#Rape by Deception cw | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sugoi-and-spice · 1 year

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Commission for the AMAZINGLY patient @i-likebread . Thank you so much for such a fun idea and again, for your patience during my summer writing dry spell. ^_^

Pairing: Sukuna x Reader, Yuji Itadori x Reader

Summary: At the end of the day, curses were trophic beings. Sukuna? Of course, he was an apex predator. He knew how to wait, to watch, to be patient. To wait until his prey was in exactly the right position where victory, making the kill, was guaranteed. Enter: Yuji’s new little girlfriend. The ingénue. The prey.

Rating: Explicit - Minors DNI

CW: Dub-Con, Non-Con, Rape by Deception, Cuckholding, Rough Sex, Virginity Loss, Painful Virginity Loss, Manipulation, mentions of Ero-Guro

If you're interested in getting your own Commission done, please refer to my Commission Sheet and shoot me a DM or e-mail! ^_^

Cross-Posted on AO3.

Everyone had told Yuji Itadori that it was a bad idea. A very bad idea. After all, just dating as a Jujutsu Sorcerer at all came with its fair share of risks. Dating as a Jujutsu Sorcerer while sharing a body with the King of Curses? It should’ve rendered him completely celibate. But to go beyond that, to not only date, but to date a normal, powerless girl with absolutely no knowledge of the existence of Jujutsu society and curses?

Now that was downright stupid.

Those were Gojo’s words too! Satoru Gojo’s — the stupid idea savant! That had certainly gotten Yuji to second guess things. When he left to meet her for their first official date, he’d gone there with all the intentions of breaking things off. But then…

Well, there wasn’t any big revelation. She’d just been her. And he just couldn’t let her go. There were very few moments in his life these days that were able to be just sweet and simple. So any he could have, he knew that he had to cling to, and cling to tight. And moments spent with her? They made him feel like life would never be complicated again.

So six months later, here they were at the matsuri of a temple near her school. And boy, watching her knelt over the shateki stall, silly little tongue sticking out of her mouth as she concentrated so deeply on the balloon she was aiming at, could he not regret it any less. Especially not when she looked so damn cute in that yukata.

POP!

“I got it!” she jumped back from the carnival game with a squeal, accidentally knocking Yuji in the chest with the pellet gun.

“Oomf—!”

She gasped, “Oh my gosh I’m so sorry!” and rushed forward to check his chest, almost hitting him in the face this time, “Are you hurt?!”

He was able to anticipate it this time though, catching the muzzle of the rifle in his palm with a laugh, “I’m fine, I’m fine. Let’s just put this down, alright?”

She relinquished it immediately, bringing her hands to her face to try and cover her blush as she nodded frantically. The moment had finally caught up to her, the fact that she’d almost taken him out twice with the toy rifle and got completely in his face, touching his chest. And the cutest embarrassment came along with it.

That was one of the things he really liked about her. She was shy and soft-spoken, but that didn’t stop her from ever living or hiding her true feelings when push came to shove. Especially when they involved other people. She often got ahead of herself, feet moving before her brain, throwing manners out the window if it meant helping somebody in need, blurting out the silliest little nonsensicals to try to ease an awkward silence. But never failing to revert back to that shyness and feel embarrassed about it in a way that always brought a smile to his face.

“Your prize, Miss.”

They both turned back to the game-tender, and Yuji instantly froze when he saw the prize being handed to her.

A little yarn doll, just big enough to be a keychain, and it— holy shit, it looked like—

“Aww, look at him Yuji!” she beamed, holding the doll up next to his face, “It looks just like you!”

He could feel his heart freeze with dread, his stomach twisting.

“W-What are you talking about?! No it doesn’t! It’s got tattoos!”

“Yeah. And four arms,” she rolled her eyes, “But look! It’s got your hair and eyes and that mischievous little smirk,” she wiggled it closer to his cheek, “That’s all troublemaker. All Yuji Itadori.”

He swatted the little doll away from his face, growing more and more prickly the longer she held it so close to him, “Is not!”

She giggled, taking his whining as embarrassment over being teased rather than anything serious,and pulled the doll back to clutch into her own palms lovingly.

“And it’s cute…” she blushed a little as she whispered, “...just like you.”

Yuji softened at the sight.

He needed to take it easy. It’s not like she could know the history there, the thing it actually looked like — he’d made absolute sure that she hadn’t, after all.

But still, the question remained:

“What’s it supposed to be anyway?” he asked, “A mascot or something?”

He had to know, it was just uncanny how much it looked like Sukuna. And this temple didn’t have any ties to the Jujutsu world that he knew of. Not that he knew a lot. But he hadn’t seen any sorcerers or cursed energy residuals in the area. If anything, it was weird how few curses — even flyheads — were in this area, considering how old the temple was.

“I guess it’s the guardian spirit of this temple,” she answered.

Yuji’s eyes widened. No. No, there was no freaking way.

“This thing?” he pressed in disbelief, “But he— I mean it looks more like a demon than a guardian spirit.”

“That’s kind of the interesting thing!” she explained excitedly, “My homeroom teacher was telling us about it last week. I think the story goes, that in a war between spirits and humans, the peasants this temple served were constantly caught in the crossfire. That is, until a dedicated, benevolent demon came along and vowed to protect the temple even while the rest of the world burnt around it.”

She presented the doll to him, “This little guy is that demon.”

It was all Yuji could do to not roll his eyes at her. Okay. Now he knew it was just a coincidence. Because sure. Benevolent. That’s what Sukuna was.

What a bunch of crap.

Oi. Sukuna suddenly gruffed in his head. I’m plenty fucking benevolent.

Yuji went rigid. Sukuna didn’t talk to him often. And honestly, he preferred it that way. He could nap and plot and flit away the time however he did in his own soul, while Yuji enjoyed the life surrounding his. Rarely did he actually tune in and observe Yuji’s life unless there was a battle or an… opportunity at hand.

So the fact that he seemed to be paying attention now was more than a bit worrying.

What, you gonna tell me that the story is true or something? Yuji snapped right back at his squatter bodymate. That you actually protected a temple?

Could be.

Yuji’s breath hitched.

O-Oh yeah? he demanded, trying to not reveal his wavering confidence. And what was the catch? There’s no way you were some guardian out of the goodness of your heart.

He could practically hear Sukuna smirk inside his head and it unnerved him. Sukuna was privy to all kinds of information about curses and Jujutsu that Yuji learned at school, a lot of which even involved the King of Curses himself. Yet he hardly had anything to comment on then. So why was he so damn talkative about this story?

I protected the shrine… Never said shit about the people in it. And then that horrible, raucous laughter of Sukuna’s echoed in his head.

“Shut up!”

“Huh?”

Yuji snapped back to his girlfriend, who stared back at him with wide, confused eyes. Shit. He said that outloud, didn’t he?

“Sh-Shut up— no way they’ve got fluffy ice!” he tried to save, pointing past her to a nearby stall, “We gotta get some!”

She looked behind her, following his finger, and then laughed, relieved that it was something as simple as that rather than something she might have said, “I swear, all you ever think about is food, Yuji.”

“That’s not true… I think about you a lot.”

…is what Yuji would’ve said if he were smoother, more confident, and convinced that a line like that wouldn’t send her running for the hills. But of course, he wasn’t any of those things. So he just rubbed the back of his head with a sheepish laugh and nodded when she suggested they go get in line for some.

He wanted to just enjoy the night, to forget about curses and Jujutsu and most of all Sukuna — he practically dared the curse to make another fucking remark, to get all of his unwelcome commentary out now while he could. But the inside of his head had gone, thankfully, radio silent. So he made peace with the fact that Sukuna had gotten bored with all of this and had gone back into his own soul to sleep.

But no. Sukuna was not gone, nor bored. Far from it.

He was hungry.

Sukuna watched Yuji’s little girlfriend through his host’s eyes.

He’d excused himself to go use the restroom soon after they’d gotten their fluffy ice to split, and now he’d just stopped to watch her, sitting on a bench near the edge of the temple, the mouth of the forest, and enjoying her frozen treat with childish glee. The lovestruck fool was living in the moment, watching her with a heart full of warmth and just wanting to take it all in.

For Sukuna however, his stare was full of a hunger growing more and more ravenous with every second.

Of course she looked delicious at all times. In her school uniform (girl’s uniforms were one of the few innovations of this era he could fully get behind), in her gym clothes the times she and Yuji went jogging together. Even that little floral sundress number she’d worn on their last date had really gotten his motor going. She was just a gorgeous little thing, and exactly his type.

Sickeningly sweet and salaciously stupid.

But there was something about her right now, dolled up in a snow white yukata, walking under the warm glow of the traditional lanterns, down the path of a temple he once called home — she looked like she could have existed just like this, a thousand years ago. That she could’ve encountered him when he was at the height of his power, looking just like this.

It took everything in him not to utter “Extension” and tear her to pieces in front of every pair of prying eyes right here on this stone path.

But no. He had to control himself.

He had to plan his moves carefully, he couldn’t just cause havoc willy-nilly, not without raising an unignorable alarm for the Jujutsu Sorcerers to put Yuji Itadori and himself down like Old Yeller. No, now was not the time to rape and pillage and have his fun.

It didn’t mean he was happy about it, though.

Somehow, there was something even worse about not being able to have his way in this form then it had been when his soul was fractured for a thousand years. At least before he’d manifested, he was held back by the fact that it was impossible to do anything else — he literally couldn’t have physically let loose even if he wanted to. He was essentially stuck in purgatory.

But now, when he had the full ability to ravage but had to keep himself in check, with only himself and his self-preservation to answer to? God, it practically fucking burned. It wasn’t right. If he didn’t get some kind of outlet soon, he was going to go crazy.

It was like he was a dog, kept chained and locked up within the cage of his own skin. But that’s not what he was. He wasn’t a fucking housepet. He was a hunter, a predator.

And a damned good one at that.

There was a huge difference between other Curses and Sukuna. The sorcerers had decided to define this difference by grades. But Sukuna believed that the real explanation was much less academic, much more simple.

After all, just because a curse was “Special Grade” didn’t mean that it was worth a damn. It could have all the cursed energy in the world, but if it didn’t know how to properly hunt? It’d be lucky to last a century.

They were trophic beings at the end of the day.

Low-level Curses, like flyheads? They were, at best, Primary Consumers. If he were being blunt, most of them were Producers, barely above algae. They tended to draw in more Jujutsu Sorcerers than they were worth. Sitting fucking ducks.

That waste of space from the Juvenile Detention Center? A Secondary Consumer. He could pick off the herbivores that were humans. Injured zebras falling behind the herd like his host and the little girl with the hammer.

And the little patchwork punk? The one that dared to put his pathetic mitts on his soul twice? Sukuna would be generous and call him a Tertiary Consumer. He sure did give that Seven to Three Sorcerer and his host a run for their money.

But Sukuna, himself? Of course, he was an apex predator. He knew how to wait, to watch, to be patient. To wait until his prey was in exactly the right position where victory, making the kill, was guaranteed.

Enter: Yuji’s new little girlfriend. The ingénue.

The prey.

…

Okay, so maybe she was some low-hanging fruit, but it’s not like he could be too choosy. And boy was she ripe for the picking.

Besides, a top of the food chain hunter such as himself knew how to make some fun, a chase out of anything.

Yes, little Yuji Itadori should’ve listened to his teachers. Dating a non-sorcerer, bringing such a tempting piece of meat into his eyeline and waving it around so proudly was a very bad idea.

And Sukuna lived for bad ideas.

“Extension.”

She perked up as Yuji re-approached, “Hey—!” then paused, head cocking as she noticed something… different about him.

“What’s with the…?” she gestured over her face, indicating the black marks now running across his skin.

“They were doing some face-painting at one of the booths,” he answered simply, lowly, “Looks good, right?”

She flushed a bit at the timber of his voice, eyes dropping to the cup of fluffy ice in her hands. Even imitating Itadori, there was a huskiness, a darkness in Sukuna’s voice that couldn’t be masked. And it sent shivers straight up his prey’s lovely spine.

“Y-Yeah… Looks really good.”

He smirked. Trap set.

“Really good, huh?” he purred, sitting on the bench not only next to her, but with his legs pressing hard against hers.

Her cheeks flushed, giggling as he slid his arm behind her shoulders on the bench, and giddy embarrassment set her body afloat. She liked this, liked it a lot. She always wanted Yuji to sweet-talk and touch her like this, more than she really should honestly. But she was way too embarrassed to ever admit that herself. So this extra flirty mood he seemed to be in at the moment was sending her straight to Cloud 9.

“...Uh— Uh-huh. R-Really good.”

She hazarded a look at his face again, the intensity, the uninhibited desire burning like coal in those lazy-lidded eyes sending an all new feeling of excitement through her body. One she’d been denying for a while.

With a squeak, she looked back forward, jutting the cup of fluffy ice over in his general direction, “D-Do you want some more?!”

He barely paid the measly little treat any mind, far more invested in the delicacy so pretty and wrapped up in an obi for him.

“Yeah, why not.”

She turned towards him, eyes focussing on his tight chest rather than his sinful eyes, so that she could pick up the spoon and feed him. But before she could even touch the utensil, he reached past it, towards her, and caught a little drip of sweet syrup at the corner of her mouth with his thumb.

Her breath hitched, loud and embarrassingly. But this only seemed to spur him on. He brushed it slowly along the length of her lower lip, pressing it in ever so slightly when he got to the center, kissing the pad of his thumb to her teeth. He could feel everything about her through this, the way her throat bobbed anxiously, the shuttering breath against his skin, the way her tongue sank forward instinctually to meet him.

She couldn’t help it, the hypnotic lull that it pulled her into. Her eyes started to shutter closed, but in doing so she noticed something.

His nails.

Sukuna clocked this almost simultaneously, whipping his hand back before she completely lost her stupor and bringing the thumb to his own lips, nails hidden from sight. He made a show of licking the residuals of sweetness off of it, eyes boring straight into hers.

“Tastes even better this way,” he purred.

She flushed and turned away quickly and completely, her back to him, beyond embarrassed, “Y-Yuji—!”

“What?”

“That’s so embarrassing,” she squeaked.

“What do you mean?” he husked, leaning in from above her, pressing impossibly closer into her back, “What’s so embarrassing about loving the way you taste?”

Sukuna could feel her cheeks heat up as he slotted his nose into her shoulder, “In fact…”

He pressed his mouth, motionless, into the nape of her neck. He breathed into it, doing everything in his power to get a whisper of a taste of that skin, without devouring her whole.

“I’d love to taste more.”

He ran his hands down her arms, nails catching on every goosebump. They were going slow, teasing, but they weren’t stopping. No, they were not stopping their descent. Not until they got to—

“Y-Yuji,” she gasped out an embarrassed laugh as his hands slipped down to cover her own over the cup, sticky and cold from the fluffy ice dripping forgotten over them, “Come on, there are people around…”

“And?” Sukuna’s fingers weaved with her own squeezing tight, his hips slanting flush against her ass, “If there weren’t people around?”

She tilted her head back, startled by how close his lips were to hers when she did so. Startled, but not scared off. No. Intoxicated. Caught in the center of the spider’s web.

Trapped. Right where he wanted her.

Sukuna’s smirk widened and he caught her lips, all pretense gone. He was going in for the kill.

There was a reason why she was easy prey, and it wasn’t just because she was meek and malleable, easy for Sukuna to overwhelm even without powers.

It was because she wanted this from Yuji, had wanted it for a while, actually. If he didn’t know from all the needing looks and batting lashes she’d sent his way over the last six months — a virgin whore if he’d ever seen one — it was more than obvious now. The way she grinded against him, gasped excitedly as he shoved her against a tree, back arching as he turned the top of her yukata into a belt, exposing her bare chest to his rough, relentless palms.

He was brought back to the other fucks he’d had under this very tree, when he’d been able to dig his claws into the flesh of shrine maidens until he felt bone. Or that village girl whose spine he’d snapped in half as he came.

This wasn’t nearly as physically exhilarating as those times, but there was something oddly even more exciting about it on a sentimental level. Of course, it was his first fuck in over a millennia, and a virgin at that (his fucking favorite), but she was Yuji’s too.

Yuji’s girlfriend, Yuji’s love, Yuji’s prize to be won — and he’d stolen her right under the brat’s nose. The only thing that would make it better would be if Yuji could actually see it right now.

He could let that go for now though, especially considering how pliant and eager she was, the way she held back her yelps and locked down any complaints as they slipped down to the cold, crackly ground, her bare back grinding hard into the bark. He knew that it hurt her, he could smell the blood and feel the way her breath hitched in his mouth, and yet miraculously, she didn’t say a word. She wanted this to happen, she wanted to make him happy. And she was too shy to voice anything that might result in otherwise.

“You ready?” he purred, already shoving his pants down to his knees and giving himself a few preparatory pumps, regardless of her answer.

She gulped, and nodded hurriedly.

As soon as he moved her panties to the side and rubbed the head of his cock against her entrance exploratorily, Sukuna knew she was lying. Her body was clearly not quite there. She was plenty wet, sure, but she was still tense from the nerves, and shallow from the lack of prep.

That was fine though. Actually, it was great. That added ring of resistance? That’s what made virgins and victims the absolute perfect prey, that’s what made them intoxicating.

He couldn’t have held back if he wanted to.

Without any other warning, he slammed his hips forward, fucking her fully.

She cried out with a volume that was clearly not all from joy. She was hurt. And he almost came on the spot at the sound.

“Are you okay?” he asked, just to keep in character. He didn’t care either way.

“Mm—! Mm-hmm!” she nodded frantically, tears clear in her eyes and hesitant to open her mouth, lest she reveal the actual pain she was in.

Oh, a little tough girl, huh? He could fucking fall in love.

Sukuna kept a serious face, but inside he was splitting in two, smiling.

“You sure? Do you want me to stop?” he insisted. It’s not like he would, even if she wanted to. But the idea of her powering through the pain, begging him to keep going even as he broke her? It was just too good to pass up.

“Y-Yes,” she yelped out in such a sweet, strained voice, “P-Please, keep going Yuji!”

He reached forward, running a hand through her hair, that once perfect little updo now frazzled and ruined with leaves and dirt, “I’ll be gentle, okay?”

She sniffled and put on a brave, quivering smile, nodding. He dragged out of her to the tip, slowly, expertly, pulling from her the first little gasp of pleasure.

Then he bottomed out inside her.

She cried out loudly, nails clinging into his back with vicelock strength as he fucked her, truly fucked her. She tried to make those cries sound pleasured, like moans. But she couldn’t hide the screams they truly were. She pulled him closer so that she could try and muffle them into his shoulder.

But that wouldn’t do. No, that would not fucking do.

The hand in her hair tightened, pulling her head back harshly so that she had nowhere to direct her noise but into the night sky as he pounded into her. She bit her lip, trying to keep them at bay.

“Fuck, it feels so good,” he groaned, genuinely, “What about you, baby? Do you feel good?”

She tried to just get away with nodding and whining.

“Tell me baby,” he pressed, “Tell me it feels good.”

“I-It… It feels good!” she finally cried out, desperate for him to stop, “Y-Yuji, it feels so good!”

He pressed his lips into her cheek, almost cumming on the spot as the streams of tears down her skin touched his tongue.

“I love you so much,” he growled shamelessly.

She smiled a face-splitting smile, eyes wide and puffy, and body completely open and raw, as she tried to love away the pain.

“M-Me too!” she almost gagged, “I love you too!!”

In this life, the previous, or even the next, Sukuna was sure he’d never cum as hard as he did when he saw that face.

Yuji stared down at her in absolute horror. What had he done? No, what had he done?!

His girlfriend, that pure, perfect girl, the one true light of his life, was laid out beneath him, a complete mess. Covered in dirt, hickeys, and a sheen of her own sweat and tears.

Raped.

Her bare chest rose and fell heavily (he could be thankful for that at least), and her cheek rested against the twisting roots of the tree they were under as she tried to catch her breath.

No.

No, no, no, no, no—

Her eyes blinked open as she felt a splash against her flesh, pulling her from her post-sex daze. She turned to look up at Yuji, instantly shocked to see him hunched over her and sobbing uncontrollably.

“Yuji?” she gasped, “Yuji what’s wrong?”

“I… I-I just—” he choked, trying desperately not to throw up. His fingers ran shakily across the divots in her skin, the scratches and bitemarks, “Are you o-okay?”

She followed his stroking hands to her marred shoulders and whipped back to him with a gasp.

“Ohhh, sweetie no— don’t worry about those! I’m fine!”

“A-Are you sure?” he rasped.

“Of course!” she pulled him down into a tight embrace, “I loved it, Yuji.”

Those words stabbed him harder and hotter than anything else she could’ve said. Made it all so much worse.

“I absolutely loved it.”

Like what you read? Consider getting your own Commission! ^_^

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astarionfixation · 6 months

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Am I Fu**ing Insane!?! MASTERPOST

Chapter 1: *Would it really matter if it was a bite or a kiss?* R: Mature

Chapter 2: +As if I had been kissed by mint leaves all over+ R: Mature

Chapter 3: *is she fu**ing…?!?!?* R: Very Explicit

Chapter 4: *F*ck Eternity if Immortality Looks Like Me* R: Explicit CW Blood, Gore

Chapter 5: *Who said it's no fun to play with your food?* R: Explicit CW Vague Mention of Sex Work / Trafficking

Chapter 6: "It won’t hurt but a moment, darling" R: Explicit CW PTSD, Disassociation, Panic Attacks, Blood

Chapter 7: *I have all the time in the world, darling* R: Explicit CW Vague Mention of past Trauma

Chapter 8: "Show me, and I’ll follow you" R: Mature CW: mentions of parental abuse, childhood abuse, forced prostitution, implied rape

Chapter 9: “Would you like my tongue first, or my fingers, darling?” R: EXPLICIT for Sex, Fingering, Cunnilingus CW: Vague mentions of past sexual abuse, PTSD

Chapter 10: *There's no need to hold back anymore* R: EXPLICIT for Sex, Fellatio, PIV CW: vague mentions of past sexual trauma, PTSD flashbacks

Chapter 11: +I am not a glass doll+ R:EXPLICIT ROUGH SEX (intercourse PIV)

Chapter 12: *That'll teach me not to get all talkative…* R: Mature CW for mentions of Abuse and Past Trauma, possibly body dysmorphia if you squint.

Pairings: Astarion X OFC Tav

Status: Ongoing

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54356776/chapters/137677126

I have a quite serious praise kink. Which also means compliments in the forms of tags and/or comments might very well spur me to write and post more

Teaser:

Astarion swallows again, involuntarily, his lips slightly parted mimicking hers and his mouth now watering the closer he gets to her. As the tip of his nose brushes lightly against her lobe a deep moan escapes her lips, carrying his name again to his ears.

“Astarion”

Her deceptively warm fingers have somewhat found a way to sneak up on him as they now tickle the back of his neck, almost as if she was inviting his mouth down to her and *Would it really matter if it was a bite or a kiss?*

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ravensvirginity · 6 months

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(CW: canon typical discussions of sexual assault)

Really niche fandom pet peeve but I hate when I see something that acts like the only thing that was wrong with what happened between Trigon and Arella was rape by deception. That did happen, and that on its own would be very bad (I'm absolutely in no way trying to say that that would be okay or anything but rape), but idk where the perception that he stopped assaulting her once he revealed his demon form comes from because that's very much not what happened.

This is Arella's account of what happened to her in her own words, and it seems pretty clear that Trigon kept her longer after she saw his true form. It's not hard to fill in the gaps.

This isn't even a misconception that can be blamed on non comic media. Obviously none of this was ever discussed in either of the CN cartoons, but it was in the DCAMU, and if anything it has more explicit confirmation than the NTT panels.

youtube

(The actual scene with the reveal is about 53 seconds in)

I'd guess where the misconception comes from is future retellings of Raven's origin that were condensed to be only a few panels. It doesn't matter all that much at the end of the day, but it just bothers me a little because it's not what happened.

I think it's also a little out of character for Trigon; as the sum of all of Azarath's evil, he's almost nothing but violence. I think that act being so violent is what made Arella find so much solace in Azar's teachings, and Raven hearing this story from her mother as her first exposure to anything related to sexuality made her internalize that her sexual desire is something dangerous and violent that she needs to keep tightly under control. The intended story fits the overall themes with Trigon and Arella better than the misrepresented version.

Arella as a character is so often misrepresented. DC doesn't seem very interested in that part of Raven's backstory at the moment, but I think the right writer could write a great story with her with a more modern tone if given the chance.

#cw sa mention #raven #raven meta #trigon #arella #new teen titans #Youtube

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queen-dahlia · 1 year

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𝐆𝐢𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐯𝐨𝐧 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐧

𝗠𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗥𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗲 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝟭𝟵

CW: Mentions of rape

Note: Translation is not 100% accurate. Expect grammatical errors.

// : alternate translation | ⫘⫘ : flashback | 4:4 answer

Gilbert: "Now, again... If you have something to say, I'll listen to you, Little Bunny?"

Before my eyes is His Majesty the Emperor, who rules the great nation of Obsidian—

A commander-in-chief who possesses the power to overwhelm other countries with just one voice.

(… However, it's just a title with a big name; the one inside is Lord Gilbert.)

Looking up at the throne, there is no need to be too afraid.

Emma: "Then, if I may be so bold as to presume..."

Emma: "Why does Your Majesty the Emperor push for the invasion of other countries?"

It was the first thing I wanted to ask the "Emperor," not Lord Gilbert.

Obsidian has always plotted to expand its territory as a matter of policy.

I don't understand the intention of wanting to continue the invasion to the point of trampling on other countries' cultures, ideologies, and lives.

Gilbert: "The ostensible reason is to protect our own people. Obsidian has a lot of barren land compared to how vast the land is."

Gilbert: "We always had the problem of food shortages, and exploitation was necessary to keep the people alive."

Emma: "… What's the purpose behind this?"

Gilbert: "I hate dirty things."

Gilbert: "I hate deception, corruption, bribery, all of it. But the way the continent is structured now, they occur frequently."

Gilbert: "It's not just Obsidian. Wasn't there a trace of corruption in Rhodolite too?"

Emma: "Do you mean the orphanage?"

Gilbert: "Yes, there was some of that, but what about the larger corruption—the debauchery of His Majesty the King?"

(Debauchery... meaning being drowned in women, I guess that fits.)

Gilbert: "He used his power to heal the wounds of a broken heart, and he laid his hands on many women."

Gilbert: "… Do you know the story of Luke's mother?"

Emma: "No…"

Gilbert: "His mother was a mere maid in the service of the court."

Gilbert: "But the king forced himself on her because she looked like the woman he loved."

(…!)

Gilbert: "She left the court heartbroken and secretly gave birth to Luke."

Gilbert: "Do you think the king was punished for this? Yes, of course, he was not punished."

Gilbert: "Because he is the supreme authority in Rhodolite…"

Gilbert: "And because he had the right to do as he pleased with those below him."

(If what you just said is true... I can't defend him even though he is the king of my country.)

(No matter how wise a king he was, it is unforgivable.)

Gilbert: "Do you think that's unusual?"

Emma: "… At least, it's not something that happens very often."

Gilbert: "That's what it is."

Emma: "On what basis…"

Gilbert: "It's the result of statistics on the internal affairs of the countries I've ruled."

(… It's not an emotional story; rather, it's a grounded story.)

Gilbert: "It is not uncommon for a royal family to become prodigal, and in worse cases, there are countries that enslave their people."

Gilbert: "This continent was built on authoritarianism. It is a world dominated by royalty and nobility."

Gilbert: "It is ingrained in your bones that a lowly person like you should not defy those in power."

Gilbert: "You know what I'm talking about, don't you? Remember when you were chosen as Belle?"

Gilbert: "The report is that... you did not hesitate to slap a man who had been disrespectful to Chevalier."

Gilbert: "That was because you quickly decided that if anyone disrespects those in power, they will be killed."

Gilbert: "He actually pointed a sword at you, making sure his judgment was correct…"

Gilbert: "It's a funny thing when you think about it. How can one be guilty of disrespect?"

(I never thought about it before.)

For me, the royal family has always been recognized as "a person to be respected," and even if he was disrespectful and had a sword pointed at me, I tried to understand it because "he is a member of the royal family."

Gilbert: "There is no superiority or inferiority between you and me. As long as we are humans, we should all be the same."

Gilbert: "Of course, it may be necessary to have someone to lead socially."

Gilbert: "An outstanding person brings people together and builds a better tomorrow. That's how a person should be."

Gilbert: "But, you know, on the continent today, it's all about who has the power and who can get others to behave as they please."

Gilbert: "Of course, not all of them, okay? The Princes of Rhodolite are quite excellent in that regard."

Gilbert: "Even Silvio and Keith will be good monarchs."

Emma: "Then—"

Gilbert: "His Majesty the King of Rhodolite used to be a reputable monarch."

Emma: ". . . . . ."

Gilbert: "People are creatures of change. There is no such thing as "absolutes."

Gilbert: "That's why authoritarianism shouldn't exist in the first place."

Gilbert: "There were only a handful of wise kings if you look at history."

(In other words, Lord Gilbert...)

Gilbert: "Because the king of a country that knows so much about deception and corruption…"

Gilbert: "My "ideal" is to trample down all the royal families that spread throughout the continent and free the people from the rule of power."

What I felt from Lord Gilbert was a strong will that resembled a solid castle wall.

No one can change him or stop him. I assume it is that kind of thing.

(A revolution involving not only his own country but the entire continent...)

(I know it would end up as a dream story for normal people, but not for Lord Gilbert.)

(But it's strange.)

Emma: "… It's contradictory."

Emma: "Isn't Lord Gilbert the epitome of that power?"

The figure sitting on the throne and looking down at me is exactly the "authority" that Lord Gilbert hates.

(Even though you once threatened me with that power...)

Emma: "Are you an exception?"

Gilbert: "Ahaha! No way."

Gilbert: "If the people in power disappear and a new era comes, I will be the first to become unnecessary."

Gilbert: "I might as well die then, right?"

Emma: "… Uh."

(What are you... saying...)

His usual refreshing smile shines brightly on his throne.

I couldn't believe my ears and wondered if I heard him wrong.

Gilbert: "Because it's natural. I want to wipe out those in power, but it's not right for me to survive."

Gilbert: "Especially the Obsidian royal family, the most evil bloodline on the continent."

Gilbert: "It's better for the world if it's destroyed... Ah, but if I'm going to die anyway, I want Little Bunny to kill me."

Gilbert: "If you do that, you'll remember me forever, won't you?" // "That way you will remember me for the rest of your life, right?"

Emma: "That's... of course I'm not going to do that!"

I screamed without a moment's delay.

Even if it is a joke, it is a bad one.

(Lord Gilbert's ideal is based on the assumption that he will die in the end.)

(And he doesn't think anything of it.)

It would have been better if he had said, "I'm an exception," like a villain.

Emma: "… Why do you go to such lengths to exile those in power?"

Emma: "Lord Gilbert should have benefited from the power...even to the point of killing himself..."

Gilbert: "That's..."

Gilbert: "… A secret."

(… That part is a secret.)

Gilbert: "But I don't think it's a bad deal for you."

Gilbert: "Rather, it would be more convenient for you if I died."

(…!)

Gilbert: "If I'm gone, maybe Rhodolite won't be trampled and the world will continue like this."

Gilbert: "Besides, when I die, you will be properly released."

Gilbert: "You can settle in Obsidian or go back to Rhodolite, whatever you want."

Gilbert: "Because the "power" that holds you back is gone."

(What is that...)

The front of my eyes were pure white, and the back of my head felt hot.

Emma: "… Are you serious?"

My voice spilled out unintentionally, and it was lower than usual.

Gilbert: "Of course—"

Gilbert: "… What's wrong?"

(What's wrong... with me?)

I look down, and my fists are shaking.

(Even if you're a big villain, I've never wanted you dead. I didn't even think about it.)

(Lord Gilbert... was not the kind of person who could think such a thing.)

It may be possible to think that it is a great villain who cannot be saved, I am already poisoned by malicious kindness.

And that kindness itself shouldn't have been a lie.

I suffered at Rhodolite because I was repeatedly exposed to Lord Gilbert's good intentions.

What he just said was an outright denial of that suffering and struggle.

(After acting like he was such a good friend of mine...)

(When the time comes, should I kill him? Is it better if he is dead? **

(… Don't be silly.)

I have no right to say anything about Lord Gilbert's ideals.

But for those few words, I should have the right to be angry.

Gilbert: "I don't get it. I don't see anything to be angry about right now..."

Emma: "Because you don't know that, it means that Lord Gilbert is not really my friend!"

Emma: "If you thought that I was the kind of person who would be happy to see you dead, that is beyond disappointing!"

The voice echoes to destroy the intimidation of the throne room.

Lord Gilbert, who could be seen in the distance, seemed taken aback.

(… I wish I were so evil that I wanted to kill him anyway.)

(Oh, this is bad...)

I feel like my vision is blurry.

As I wrinkled my brow and held on, I suddenly felt a breeze behind me.

???: "Lord Gilbert!!!"

(Whoa, what the!?)

A man in military uniform pushes open the door to the throne room and walks in,

Without paying attention to me, he pushes his way to the bottom of the stairs as if he were about to attack Lord Gilbert.

???: "You... you left the castle without saying anything again!"

???: "How much more do you want to shorten my lifespan?! Come on, now, let's test—"

???: ". . . . . ."

(... Oh, our eyes met.)

The man with curly hair stiffens, and so do I.

A strange silence fell.

Gilbert: "Good for you, huh? If you had slipped up just a little bit more, you... today would be the anniversary of your death."

???: "Who is she?"

Gilbert: "The Lady of Rhodolite."

???: "Rhodolite's… Ah! What? She really exists? Lord Gilbert's first—"

Gilbert: "Huh? You must really want to die."

(…?)

The man deliberately clears his throat and turns to me.

The salute-like gesture may be Obsidian's way of saying "hello."

Walter: "You are Emma, right? I've heard rumors about you... I'm Walter. My occupation is—"

Gilbert: "My aide. Servant. A maid. I'm having an audience, will you leave?"

(… I feel like he's deliberately covering his words again just now.)

(How did you know my name in the first place… What's the rumor?)

(I wonder if Obsidian has heard about the story of Rhodolite...)

As soon as the man finished his greeting, he pointed his finger at Lord Gilbert.

It felt like an obvious act of disrespect, but there was no one there to reproach it.

Walter: "I will definitely visit you later. Listen, please don't run away. Even if you do, I will let Roderich catch you."

Gilbert: "Alright, alright. I'll act like an adult when I feel like it."

Walter: "Not when you feel like it... but absolutely!"

Gilbert: "Okay, okay."

After a strong tone of voice and a reminder, the man leaves.

It was like a storm.

Gilbert: "… I've lost interest."

With a resounding sigh, Lord Gilbert stands up from his throne.

The audience is apparently over.

(Me too... I'm not sure I can speak well right now.)

Lord Gilbert descends the stairs with the sound of his cane.

He came right next to me, and I didn't make eye contact with him.

Gilbert: "Yes. The fact that I am His Majesty the Emperor has only been revealed to a limited number of people."

Gilbert: "You know what I mean… right?"

(He'd like to say he'd kill me if I ever told anyone about it.)

I nodded while looking away, and Lord Gilbert took another breath.

Gilbert: "What can I do to put you in a better mood..."

(... I really don't know.)

(A genius like Prince Chevalier, who can easily manipulate people's minds...)

Gilbert: "A whole day's sleep will do it, right? By the way, I've got your room all ready for you."

Gilbert: "I asked them to make the interior as similar to Rhodolite as possible, but I hope you like it."

(I can't believe he even had a room ready for me.)

This is Obsidian. There is no need to isolate me by daring to be friendly, like in Rhodolite.

Still, Lord Gilbert's poison-like kindness hasn't changed.

I am tormented again by being treated not as a hostage but as a guest of honor.

Emma: "… That's the point…"

Gilbert: "Hm?"

Emma: "Nothing..."

(I hate… this feeling.)

══════════════════

—After taking Emma to her room, he returned to his own room for the first time in a long time and found himself in an unusual silence.

Walter: ". . . . . ."

Gilbert: "How much longer?"

Gilbert laughs as he buttons his shirt.

But Walter, sitting in the chair across from him, said nothing.

Walter: ". . . . . ."

Gilbert: "I'm asking you, so tell me."

Walter: "… You really..."

The chair falls over in the moment of a vigorous standing up.

Walter: "I beg you, please stop. This country goes on without you. That's how you were raised. So..."

Gilbert: "You didn't answer my question."

Walter covers his face with his hands under the pressure of his compelling smile.

His fingertips trembled, and his breath spilled from the gaps.

Walter: "… I don't want to say it."

Gilbert: "I see... it was the right decision to return home a little earlier."

Walter: "Hey… That story you've been telling me for a long time—seriously think about it. Now, I really believe you." **

Gilbert: "It's not a matter of believing or not believing, it's not necessary in the first place."

Walter: "Then why did you bring that woman here!"

Gilbert: "… That's terrible."

Gilbert: "Because I’m a big villain who couldn't be saved."

Walter: "You..."

A blood-colored, cold gaze pierces Walter, as if to interrupt his fury.

A pressure resembling murderous intent dominated the place in an instant.

Gilbert: "Never speak of it. She is no exception."

Walter: "That woman... she doesn't know yet?"

Gilbert: "She doesn't know, and she never will. And I have no intention of telling her."

Gilbert: "I'm going to rest now. Good night."

Walter: ". . . . . ."

Walter: "I'm not giving up."

Grabbing a sturdy-looking bag from the desk, Walter leaves the room.

Gilbert: ". . . . . ."

Gilbert: "… Why…"

Gilbert: "Why wasn't Little Bunny... happy about it?" // "I wonder why the little rabbit... wasn't pleased."

══════════════════

Obsidian is synonymous with evil, so much so that it was called the land of deceit and corruption.

When it comes to life in the castle, which is its home base, I imagined it to be brutal.

I was prepared for the fact that I would not be treated well, including being in a vulnerable position…

Gilbert: "Look, Little Bunny. So, how do you like it?"

Emma: "This... is a kitchen."

Gilbert: "Yes, a kitchen. Your very own kitchen."

Emma: "!?"

(Next to the guest room, there is a kitchen! W-What do you mean...)

Far from being treated badly, it is rather too good to pull off.

I had been dragging out yesterday's events until a few minutes ago, but it was such a shock that it blew away, even if only temporarily.

Gilbert: "This is the same as the room, I had them prepared in advance."

Gilbert: "Do you know why I... prepared the kitchen?"

(I see... that means...)

Emma: "You want me to make sweets."

Gilbert: "As expected of Little Bunny. I'm glad you know me so well."

Gilbert: "—… Actually, I just wanted to please you." // "—… I really just wanted to make you happy."

Emma: "… What is it now?"

Gilbert: "No, it was nothing."

(I can't believe you liked it enough to prepare a kitchen…)

(I've only served amateur sweets... and they were as simple as cookies.)

Lord Gilbert's smile was so bright that he seemed like a different person from the emperor who sat on the throne yesterday.

Gilbert: "You are free to use any of the ingredients here."

(Let's see... eggs, milk, flour, sugar, fruits, vegetables... that's quite a lot of variety.)

Emma: "I have heard that Obsidian is suffering from food shortages..."

Gilbert: "It's not like that these days, you know?"

Gilbert: "Because we have built supply lines and established stable food production technology in the last 10 years."

(That's right... just like Prince Chevalier said.)

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Chevalier: "—Second, I want to know the degree of development of Obsidian's technology."

Chevalier: "Obsidian's military engineering technology seems to be quite advanced..."

Chevalier: "Those technologies must have been applied to many things related to daily life."

Chevalier: "Aside from the rural areas, the central areas may be even different."

Chevalier: "Go and see for yourself."

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Gilbert: "—Obsidian has a lot of barren areas despite its vast land. But just because it's barren doesn't mean it has land."

Lord Gilbert spun his words without any hesitation. His eyes were somewhat lively.

Gilbert: "If we can build facilities that can grow crops regardless of the soil, it will take a lot of work, but there is no reason why we can't provide food in our own country."

Gilbert: "If we can produce food, we can also produce the fodder necessary for livestock. That's why we don't have food shortages right now."

Gilbert: "By the way, most of the food here comes from the research facility in the castle."

Gilbert: "We can't put those on the market... but we collect things that are a waste to throw away."

Gilbert: "Then it's also sweets that help eliminate the loss of ingredients."

Gilbert: "That's what I mean."

(Though the way you spoke just now was like your own achievement…)

Emma: "… Did Lord Gilbert solve the problem of food shortages?"

Gilbert: "Of course, it's my job. The food supply is an important issue, necessary to guarantee a minimum standard of living."

Gilbert: "Did you think we were always at war?"

Emma: "… I'm sorry."

(As expected, the idea was shallow.)

I had the impression that Obsidian was focusing on military affairs and neglecting domestic affairs, but it seems I was just being shallow.

Gilbert: "Hehe... your image is not wrong either. The Emperor has always had that policy."

Perhaps the "emperor" here was the late former emperor.

Gilbert: "He won a lot of countries, but he didn't look inward at all."

Gilbert: "They were almost lawless, so Albert and I spent a lot of time trying to improve it."

Gilbert: "Well, the regions are still so corrupt that I think I'm only halfway there."

Emma: ". . . . . ."

Gilbert: "More than—"

(Whoa…!)

Suddenly I am hugged on the shoulder, and my body leans back.

I fell into his cold chest with all my might, but he held me.

Gilbert: "What? Can't you just read the atmosphere and leave us alone?"

(… What the…)

(!?)

When Lord Gilbert calls out to the doorway, a crowd of soldiers appears.

1, 2, 3 — Surrounded by about 10 male and female military personnel, my body stiffened.

(I didn't notice it at all. I guess they were waiting for Lord Gilbert outside.)

Soldier 1: "I am sorry. Lord Gilbert, the military has asked me to consult with you concerning the budget..."

Soldier 2: "I, too, would like to ask Lord Gilbert's advice on lifeline capital investment—"

Gilbert: "You know, I've been telling you for a long time. You don't have to rely on my judgment every time."

(... Eh, even though he's the Emperor?)

Gilbert: "You are professionals in each field whose abilities have been bought."

Gilbert: "I'm giving you full authority because I think you can do it. Or what? Do you doubt my eyes?"

Soldier 1: "No, sir! But I would like to have your opinion, Lord Gilbert, because it would be very helpful..."

Soldier 2: "Please. After all, there is no one better than Lord Gilbert's keen eye!"

Gilbert: "Nope. Everyone, you can see that I'm busy, right?"

Instead of letting me go, he holds me tighter.

The gazes of the soldiers were clearly perplexed and bewildered.

Emma: "Uh… No! No, he isn't! Please give priority to your official duties." **

Gilbert: "Ehh..."

Emma: "In the meantime, I'll make you some sweets, how about that?"

Gilbert: "… I think I'm the one who's sulking."

Emma: "Lord Gilbert…"

Gilbert: "All right, all right. Just for today."

With a deliberate shrug, Lord Gilbert finally moves away from me.

Gilbert: "All of you, make it quick. Each of you has two minutes."

Lord Gilbert walks into the circle of soldiers, and the atmosphere changes.

I could see that the people gathered were tense and straightened their backs.

But that is not a bad thing.

Rather than dominating through fear, they seem to be voluntarily respecting Lord Gilbert out of reverence.

(… It became clear to me when I came to Obsidian).

(Lord Gilbert is an emperor who can act for the people.)

Looking back on our discussion of ideals the other day, it was also about being close to the weak.

While he acts like a big villain in other countries, he appears to be a perfectly good emperor in his own country.

(But there are some things that bother me.)

What the soldiers are talking about is the kind of thing that the nobles and bureaucrats bring to Rhodolite.

However, there are no signs of nobility at all in this castle.

(Even though Obsidian is a country of military and ore, it's unnatural that there are only soldiers—)

══════════════════

Gilbert: "Ah, is that so?"

In the end, soldiers gathered one after another under Lord Gilbert, and even though each person had two minutes, it was nighttime by the time they had all been processed.

Lord Gilbert, who was in a very bad mood because of this, took me back to his room with the baked cookies,

He started a tea party on the bed in a bad manner.

(Actually, I was surprised that Lord Gilbert's room was like a library…)

(I have a lot of questions, like what kind of books are on the bookshelves…)

What I asked before them was about the wonder of the absence of the nobles.

Gilbert: "It's the same as His Majesty the former emperor."

Emma: "The same...?"

Gilbert: "Yeah. I killed them."

I felt dizzy.

Emma: "… Not only the emperor, but also the nobles?"

Gilbert: "Of course, I didn't kill them all, okay? I just wanted to clean up the deceit and corruption, and there are still a lot of nobles out there."

Gilbert: "The people who work in the castle are all highly qualified, chosen from a wide range of people, from commoners to nobles."

Gilbert: "The reason they are all dressed almost entirely in military uniform is to break down the barriers between the nobles and the commoners."

Gilbert: "The castle you are in is still not perfect, but it's better than it was a decade ago."

Emma: ". . . . . ."

(I knew it, but life may be the same as dust for Lord Gilbert.)

(So he lost the value of his own life as well... the more he killed people, the more he lost the importance of his life.) **

No matter what the reason may be, the act of killing is inherently unforgivable.

Perhaps Lord Gilbert knows this, which is why he doesn't cling to his own life.

(… Even though I'm calm.)

My chest feels murky again.

I can't taste the cookie in my mouth.

When I cast my eyes down, cold fingers grabbed my chin as if to say no—

Gilbert: "Hey, I want you to tell me one thing too..."

#サイバード #イケメン王子 #ギルベルト=フォン=オブシディアン #ikemen prince #ikemen prince gilbert von obsidian #ikemen prince gilbert #ikeprince #ikeprince gilbert von obsidian #ikeprince gilbert #gilbert von obsidian #ikeprince jp #ikepri jp #ikeprince translation #ikepri gilbert route spoilers #ikemen prince spoilers #ikeprince spoilers #ikepri spoilers #dahlia's bad translation

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zxphy · 2 years

Text

🌧 Imagine Incel! Scaramouche x M! Reader.

Tws/cws: Masc aligned reader, forced feminization, misogyny, incel behaviours, Scaramouche is his own warning, mentions of non con.

Sorry but this imagine is gonna be really shitty, I'm not a very good writer.

Smut written by a minor, dni if uncomfortable.

Incel Scara! Complaining about how no "females" want to date him.

Incel Scara! Talking and complaining about low iq women and how he deserves to be in a relationship with a female but can't because all girls are the same or something.

Incel Scara! Being told to date a boy if he's so upset.

-------------------------------------------------------

He ends up finding one of your selfies in a dicord server he mods. You look so CUTEE with your kitty gaming headset and your soft face, Scaramouche could almost mistake you for a female! He immediately sends you a dm and you both hit it off.

You got an instant role rank up and get bombarded with compliments and praise from Scaramouche, get invited to game nights and discord calls like "meetings".

Scaramouche continously spam pings you until you respond. Doesn't he understand that you have a life unlike him?

He'd 120% stalk your other social medias if he had access to them, (he does.) Through that, he learns that you have a girlfriend?? How come you get to have a girlfriend and he doesn't?! It's so unfair!! :(

Scaramouche finds that out that you're going to an anime con by yourself in the near future, luckily for him, he lives in that area.

He invites himself to hang out with you at the convention, not like you can say no! You don't have a say in the matter. He is joining you.

When Scara FINALLY meets you in person, you're in a cosplay of one of his favourite anime characters. He's absolutely fucking astonished. Ain't no WAY you're a guy. You've got such soft feminine curves, a pretty face and a thin waist, almost ANYONE would mistake you for a female.

How dare you be so deceptive. You must be put in your place.

On cue, you leave to go to the bathroom, and Scaramouche follows. Since no one is around, he forces himself in the stall with you and rapes you, "it's what you deserve" he said.

He some how manages to drag you to his stinky apartment after he's done, where you wake up in a completely different change of clothes. From your cosplay to a frilly dress and thigh highs!!

He tells you that you don't need to worry your silly little head about anything, all you need to do is be an obedient girlfriend.

I'm sorry this is REALLY shitty and I have absolutely no fucking CLUE what I'm doing. 🏃🏾‍♂️

Welp, first post lmao

I'M CRYING IT'S SO FUCKING BAD

#🌧⋆⁺₊⋆✿:Zeze's Creations✧#incel! scaramouche lmao??#yandere scaramouche #yandere genshin impact #tw: noncon #kill me please

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pyrepostings · 2 months

Text

Whumperless whump event: “It's just a nightmare. You're safe.”

Free Birds and Fiddlers

Cw: discussions of noncon drugging, of noncon/dubcon sexual violence, of nudity and torture. Implied whumpee turned whumper.

~~~

Kevin knocked on the door softly before letting himself in anyway. Julian had said his door was always open to Kevin, and lately he's had to take advantage of that promise more than he'd like.

The room was dark, but even so Kevin knew where the small table and chairs were, and the small lantern which provided just enough glow to see by.

Julian stirred. "Mmh, Kevin? What is it?"

"Sorry for waking you. I couldn't sleep, and I hoped you would be still awake too. But it can wait until morning."

"It's alright. Just give me a second to wake up."

Kevin curled up on the chair, and ran his hand through his hair a few times. Once Julian had a decency of clothes on, he turned the lamp on his desk on, casting the room into what could actually be called light.

With a pitcher of water and a pair of cups in hand, Julian sat down across from Kevin. With a voice even lower with sleep than it normally was, he asked, "What's wrong, Kev?"

Kevin ran a hand through his hair once more. "I couldn't sleep. Nightmare."

"Mhm. Do you want to talk about it, or are you here for a distraction?"

"Talk about it, I think."

One of the cups, now full, was slid across the table into Kevin's slightly shaking hands. He didn't realize how dry his mouth was until he took a sip.

"What happened?"

Kevin started slowly. "It was about John. Or at least, that's the part that's still bothering me. It started like one I've had before, you know, where I'm on my back in the sand at the base of the wall, and I can't even breathe for the pain. This one started as that one. But, it morphed before the part where I get helped up."

Kevin was breathing hard as he continued. "I was still on my back, but in a bed now. I- it was John's. When he knocked me out. He already had me pinned, my side burned like it was an actual knife instead of that fucking needle. I couldn't fight him off-"

He had trouble fighting off tears in the present as well, and bit his knuckles in the effort.

"I couldn't fight him and then I couldn't fight at all. I felt frozen in my body. But I could still feel it, in the dream. I could still feel his hands, the weight. I could feel his mouth- an- and I couldn't stop it. I couldn't even yell at him I just had to take it. It felt so real."

Julian was silent for a moment. "Do you think he touched you like that after you went unconscious?"

"I don't know. He says- he swears he didn't, that he got the others as soon as I was out but- it's not like I can trust his word now."

"Have you had this specific dream before?"

Kevin shook his head. "No. I told you about the ones from the actual interrogation. I've been getting those a lot. But those are all memories, accurate as far as I can tell. But this- is my subconscious trying to tell me what happened?"

"Kev, it's possible that he touched you like that, but it's also possible that it was just a nightmare. People get exaggerated nightmare scenarios all the time. And with no proof of what happened specifically, you have to decide what you trust more."

"A liar and traitor verses my own traumatized nightmare. Grand."

"I suppose the more important question is what do you want to do about this?"

Kevin put his elbows on the table and palms to his eyes, as if blocking out sight would help him think. "I don't know. If that part really was just a nightmare I can't just punish him more for it. It wouldn't be fair to retaliate for crimes that only happened in my head. But it felt real. If- if he did touch me like that-

"I already consider what happened that night to be rape. But until now I just thought it went to the deception and no further. I didn't really entertain the idea that he might have kept going-"

That wasn't entirely true. He had entertained the idea for a moment when he woke up in the dungeon without the last article of clothing he had before being knocked out. He had thought about it enough since then to pursue that line of questioning briefly once John was captured and being the one interrogated by the enemy faction.

And each time, he pushed those thoughts away. He didn't want to believe them. He wanted to believe John told the truth that it went as far as the orders he was given and no further. But he just didn't know that for sure.

"You don't have to decide anything right now. I can talk to him if you'd like. You can't change that it happened if it did, but would a confession from him help? To know for sure at least?"

Kevin nodded, tearily. "I think so? I don't know."

"And that's ok. You don't have to know right now. All that matters is that the nightmare's over, you're safe."

Masterlist

@whumperless-whump-event

#whumperless whump event day 18 #whumperless whump event #*sing songy* ~Julian wants to rip John aa-parr-t~#Tw noncon drugging #Tw noncon #Tw dubcon #Free birds and fiddlers #I know for sure which way it actually happened but I probably won't say explicitly which way it is #John's going to continue to hard deny if that means anything #Also a group of clothes is now called 'a decency' you're welcome for the vocab lesson

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evil-hog666 · 7 months

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I finished my half assed CW’s for The Prisoner (1967) that I made for my friends encase they ever want to watch it……

@milk-and-entrails @smokedbeans @eggskie

Overall series: drugging, kidnapping, gaslighting, deception, conspiracy

1. The Arrival: suicide.

2. The Chimes of Big Ben: The best Number 2.

3. A. B. And C.: heavy syringe use throughout the duration.

4. Free For All: politics ☹️

5. The Schizoid Man: Paranoia. electric shock conditioning. death.

6. The General: Someone is stabbed but it’s very brief and non graphic, time stamp is 36:45, later there’s blood shown but no wound. Two characters are electrocuted.

7. Many Happy Returns: a little fighting, as a treat.

8. Dance of the Dead: themes of suicide.

9. Checkmate: some fighting.

10. Hammer Into Anvil: self harm. suicide.

11. It’s Your Funeral: a little more fighting.

12. A Change of Mind: fighting. syringe use during 21:34- 21:51. syringe use during 25:56-26:06. sci-fi lobotomy I’m not even joking.

13. Do Not Forsake Me Oh My Darling: N/A

14. Living in Harmony: fighting. a vague implication of rape. Sexual assult. Small amount of blood. Strangulation. Death. Suicide. Cowboys.

15. The Girl Who Was Death: death. implication of vomit but none is shown

16. Once Upon a Time: someone is stabbed and blood is shown at 28:35. Death.

17. Fall Out: N/A

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lullabyes22-blog · 10 months

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Forward, but Never Forget/XOXO - Ch: 19 - Graveyards & Gardens

Summary: Zaun is free—and must grow into its unfamiliar new dimensions. So must Silco and Jinx. A what-if that diverges midway through the events of episode 8. Found family and fluff, politics and power, smut and slice-of-life, villainy and vengeance.

AO3 - Forward, But Never Forget/XOXO

FFnet - Forward, But Never Forget (XOXO)

Playlist on Youtube

Fanart, Meta, Snippets

Chapters: 1| 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |8 | 9 | 10 |11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54

CH 19: Silco and Jinx in the wilderness.

cw: angst, mentions of mental illness, poverty.

cw: animal cruelty

tw: mentions of war, state-sanctioned genocide, natural and manmade disasters, and indirect mentions of rape.

Won't you clarify clarify our love? ~ "Papi Pacify" – Anna Calvi

"Question?"

"Shoot."

"Why do they call it Bloody Sundae?"

Silco cants his head. "What do you mean?"

"Is it like, some kinda marketing ploy? By a killer ice-cream chef? 'Cause we all get covered in blood sometimes, right? And it gets mixed up with our favorite toppings and sprinkles and—"

"I think your Bloody Sundays are mixed up."

"There's more than one type?"

Jinx's voice is right against his ear. It spreads through Silco like a warm sinewave.

He carries her, piggyback style, like in her childhood. Her arms, deceptively delicate, are looped around his neck. She is the only soul with permission to do so. Likewise, Silco keeps a steady grip under her knees. A tickle-spot only he is privy to.

Above, the sky is a hazy green. No sun is visible beneath the heavy cloud cover. The distant rays angle off remnants of the Oshra Va'Zaun obelisks and cast a fretwork of shadows across the pitted rocks under Silco's boots. They both resemble creatures who've crawled out of a tomb. Silco's face is scoured of make-up, the ruined flesh bare. His hair is stripped of pomade, dust-clotted ropes of hair curling over his eyes. And hanging off him, Jinx is dirty as a dirty sump-urchin, with her smudged cheeks and shorn braids.

Their eyes glow like headlamps in their sockets. Blood gleams in the chinks of their teeth.

After the explosion, they'd taken refuge in a nearby cavern. They were woozy and dehydrated, their stomachs empty. Walking back to Zaun would've been an outlay of outsized will—or stupidity. But soon, Jinx caught the smell of a storm. Together, they did as he and Vander used to do: carved out the shells of dried-up cavernfruit. When rain began pelting outside, they used them as bowls, gathering enough water to drink and slake their thirsts.

Mildly rejuvenated, they'd curled up together. The rest of the night dissolved in a wash of more talking, more tears, but no more explosive disagreements. Jinx was bleary-eyed from crying. But her mood seemed freshly-washed; her smile held its old purity.

Silco felt strangely like they'd not seen each other in years. Now he and Jinx were experiencing a miraculous reunion.

By dawn, they'd bedded down on the hard ground of the cave: Silco with his knife at hand, Jinx with her pistol. They fell asleep, back-to-back; the effortless trust from their early days. In the afternoon, Silco awoke to find Jinx nestled close, still dozing. Her spine bowed in increments with each breath, touching his own.

It was the best sleep he'd had in weeks. Longer.

By late afternoon, they set off. The Deadlands baked with leftover heat. But temperatures were no longer at a dangerous broil. They were hungry, but the fates were kind. Near a rock quarry, they spied a burrow of sump-voles. Silco had never hunted wild game—a Piltie gentleman's diversion, if ever there was one. But necessity walks hand in hand with invention. In their heyday, he and Vander had plenty of practice in plugging critters or snaring them in traps.

It was different with Jinx. By mutual agreement, they split up and came at the sump-voles from both left and right: the scissoring maneuver of pack hunters. Soundlessly flanking their quarry from each side, they cut off their escape—literally, snnnk—with the edge of a blade.

Afterward, Jinx made a fire with rough kindling and his lighter. Silco used Vander's bowie knife to saw away each sump-vole's skin, gutting the dark knot of its innards. Jinx complained about the putrid smell. But once he sheared off strips of meat and crisped them over the fire, the aroma set their mouths watering. They devoured the creatures in steaming chunks, spitting away their bones, backhanding the juice dripping down their chins.

When the sun dipped low over the caverns, they moved on.

Hanging over his shoulder now, Jinx presses her cheek to his scarred one. Her skin is fever-damp. But her mood has gone from last night's thundercloud-black to star-spangled pinks. She's always like this after a blowout; a little smothering, a little invasive. Folding herself around him like a stickysweet taffy.

Despite himself, Silco savors the mutual afterglow.

His child, lost and found.

He says, "It's not Bloody Sundae like the ice cream. It's Sunday like the day of the week."

"Huh."

Silco nods. His boots crunch along the graveled path of a narrow bridge that spans a deep gulley—one of the dozens from the underground river's spillover along the shores. He keeps his ears on the sly infiltrations of sound. The secretive aria of the wind, the susurration of the water, the skitters of late-afternoon insects. The melody is another life; his and Vander's boyhood laughter nearly displacing the moment.

Except Jinx's weight is an anchor. A reminder of the lifetimes traversed.

"So why's everyone so hush-hush about Bloody Sunday?" Jinx asks. "Like it's a bad word or something."

"Vander never told you?"

"Oh, we talked, I guess." The way she says Talked sucks all the meaning from the word. "But it was more—Bad stuff happened, kiddo. We gotta move on, yada, yada. Then it was always back to my room, lights-out, kissy-kiss." She blows a raspberry. "He was always like that. Never really shared his feelings. All the big stuff, the important stuff...that was for Vi and the boys. It was always theirs. Never mine."

Beneath the roguish apathy, he hears the confession laid bare:

I wanted someone to tell me.

I wanted someone to share the pain.

I wanted someone to see mine.

Silco squeezes her thigh. Sometimes, when Jinx tells him about her days with Vander, he feels a piercing ache that's not quite envy. Like he's an interloper, spying on a life that should've been meant for him. A family he and Vander could've salvaged together. A future they could've shared. Instead, he'd been betrayed, defaced and debarred. Always the silhouette on the threshold; the Wolf at the door.

Meanwhile Vander had gotten to relish what Silco now covets—ironically, awfully, insatiably.

Fatherhood.

So profound is the loss—is loss the right word? Theft seems more apt—that some days, Silco isn't sure who was dealt the worse hand: Vander, for losing his sense of fight in bartering for fatherhood, or Silco, in bartering everything for the fight and losing the chance to be a father at all.

Maybe in the end, they're both equal: the creeping fear of possibility confronted by the smash-cut horror of consequence.

From the silhouette on the threshold, Silco had morphed into the monster of reckoning. He'd stolen back everything he was owed, piece by bloody piece, and more besides. The Drop. The Lanes. The Undercity. He'd burned down Vander's legacy, and made his lair among the bones.

And the child? He'd stolen her too.

A girl with a new name, and no one to belong to but him.

He'd cut his teeth on fatherhood with Jinx. And in loving her, he'd left her bereft. He'd been the root of her trauma; forger, formentor, tormentor. And, like Vander, he'd failed. Vander had cherished the girl, blind to the live-wire beneath the fragile shell. And he, Silco, had cherished the live-wire, blind to the fragility at its core.

Last night, he'd reckoned with the cost.

Jinx's trauma still clings at the heart of their intimacy. It's left the atmosphere between them a deep ache. Most of the ache is hers; the downside to healing, Silco is learning, is the resurgence of old hurts. So he does what a father should. What he should have done from the beginning.

He lays a foundation of trust, minute by minute, for her to feel stable upon.

"Bloody Sunday," Silco says, "isn't talked about because it's too ugly a story to pass around. But Fissurefolk remember. Especially the older generation. For us, it was a wake-up call. A reminder of what we had to lose."

"So what happened?"

"Enforcers." He smiles a bleak little smile. "What else?"

"They blew up Janna's Temple. I remember that."

"Remember?"

"Bit and pieces." Jinx sets her chin on his shoulder. "Me and Vi used to go to the Temple with Mommy. We'd light candles and chant. Then we'd get these little cakes. They were round and brown and had powdered sugar on top." She sighs. "I loved those things. Everytime we'd pass by the Temple, I'd beg for one. And Mommy would say no, 'cause they were Jubilee cakes. Only baked once a year." The longing fades. "Then one night, we were near the Temple. And—boom. There were flames everywhere. I remember the colors. The smoke. All the sparks falling from the sky. Then... nothing." She makes a dissolving motion with her fingers. "Like a bad dream."

"You were only little," Silco says. "I'm surprised you remember at all."

"You don't forget a night like that." She doesn't shiver. But he feels her muscles clench, a visceral pull against memories she can't quite touch. "Sometimes I think my folks died the night. But that's not possible. The Day of Ash wasn't until months later."

"It was a blur for many of us. The weeks were so packed with violence. Bloody Sunday was the tipping point."

"Because Topside trespassed on holy ground."

"It was more than that." The air is unburdened by the gas fumes that permeate the city. Silco takes in a deep breath. "It happened during a night vigil. A boy had been shot by Enforcers a few days earlier. There was a memorial being held in his honor. A small crowd had gathered. Mostly women and children. I remember it was a blisteringly hot April with rolling blackouts. Not so different from this year. The Temple was lit with lanterns. In the shadows, it glowed like a little sun. And out of the shadows, six Enforcers came."

Jinx is quiet. Her two hands, clasped across his torso, tighten in fistfuls of fabric.

"The Enforcers had been tipped off that there was a cache of weapons hidden in the Temple's tombs. Tipped off wrongly. But that's beside the point. Topsiders are good at making excuses to terrorize those they deem weaker." For a moment, the familiar crazed rage boils behind his ribcage. He hitches Jinx in closer, grits his teeth, and keeps on a steady tread. "The Enforcers didn't announce themselves. They didn't flash badges or proffer warrants. They crept in like death creeps in. Uninvited. The Priestess tried to turn them away. But you know the Temple's maxim: Janna Omnia Amat."

"'Janna Loves All.'"

"Janna can afford to. She's a damned goddess. The Priestess was less lucky." He drags the graveled words past the tightness in his throat. "She let them inside, wary but never imagining..." He stops. "That's why I always warn you to beware who crosses the threshold, Jinx. If you aren't careful, the consequences can be fatal."

Jinx says, "So they killed everyone."

"They didn't start with killing. Not right off. First came the interrogations on the hidden weapons. Then the threats. Then the beatings. Then worse." His mouth flattens. "They started with the children. Then they moved on to the women. They left the men for last, so they could see what was being done to their families. So they understood the depth of their own helplessness."

Jinx is quiet. He listens to the shaky rhythm of her breathing. Unfair to burden her with this. Were the subject matter anything else, Silco would condense it to bite-sized palatability. But Jinx owns a small bite of this history too, because it is Zaun's history. A respectful disclosure is required.

After all, there is protection. And then there is the value of the lesson.

Jinx whispers, "Were you…?"

"Hm?"

"Were you there when it happened?"

Silco shakes his head. He wasn't there, and that is indictment in itself. He wasn't there, and he failed. He wasn't there, and there is no mercy in surviving what he could not witness.

Only the what-if's of a man's unmerciful imagination.

"There is no record of what happened within the Temple's walls. Nothing beyond the eyewitness account of a sole survivor. And the autopsies done on the bodies. At least—the ones left intact after the grenades were set off. In total, fifty-five people perished in the destruction. Some during the explosions. Some from the atrocities before."

"And the Enforcers?"

"They had already slipped away. They were never named. Never punished for what they'd done."

"Just like always," Jinx says.

Cool currents sweep over the bridge. The air is infused with the scent of stagnant water and decaying things. Closer, Silco inhales the faded whiff of candied cherry, gunsmoke and salt. Jinx clings to him like a second-skin. She seems to be parsing out his words, turning them over like screws in her mind, pieces to fit into something bigger. The sum of the story's parts.

She says, "So who died at the Temple?"

"I already told you."

"Not the statistics. The people."

"Too many to list." He doesn't mean it as an evasion. "Most were long-time natives of the Fissures. Others were refugees. They'd came to the Lanes because they were running away from the very thing that eventually found them." Memory's valves creak open; the sensations sluicing in are a hot indelible ache. But it's the least of what is owed. "Many were neighbors and friends. I'd known them for years. The old blacksmith from the lower Promenade. A Vastayan named Lysander who sold the best almond biscuits. His wife, Dian, a schoolteacher. A young Shuriman couple who ran the tavern near the cannery. The Ionian widow who knitted sweaters for the Temple's mendicants. The chemist who ran the black-market apothecary." Silco stops. "It goes on. All good people. All corpses by the end."

"But you remember the name."

"Someone has to."

"Name—singular." Jinx's fey contralto softens. "Lock talked about her one time. He said she was the reason you hate Bloody Sunday. You and Sevika both."

Silco's upper lip bridles; the impulse to a deny. But the territorial itch is fleeting. Jinx nudges her skull against his own, a familiar nuzzling, a nuanced marking of kinship.

You are safe here, the touch says. You are with your own.

This is part of the pact between them, too. They let each other talk. They listen to each other's stories. It's why they're such a pair: misfits, secret sufferers, twisters of logic, the years of carnage and cruelty wrapping them in an intimacy as familiar as blood.

Silco says: "Nandi."

The name is as disfigured as a corpse dug out through the rubble.

"She was a friend of yours?"

"Mine, yes. Sevika's sister."

"The Ogre had a sister?"

The shock in Jinx's tone nearly makes him smile. "She did."

"Was she like, double Sevika's size? With mallets for fists and pitchforks for teeth?"

"Not at all. She..."

He doesn't know what to tell her. It isn't that he's forgotten Nandi. It is simply that she has ceased to be tied to his present reality. She'd been part of a different timeline; she'd known a different man. Compared to Silco's current life, everything about her was as transparent as freshwater. It made her easy to sanctify. Easy to suspend in memory.

Someone he'd known once. Someone he'd felt intensely and foolishly for, but also someone… apart.

Nowadays, he carries her presence like a half-remembered dream. Sometimes in bed, emptied of thought, he'll summon her for a heartbeat. His hair will fall into his eyes, and he'll remember the way Nandi used to smooth it back while they were conversing. He'll scratch the crooked jut of his nose, and remember the way she'd trace it with her fingertips after lovemaking. He'll tuck his unmarked cheek into the pillows and remember the way it would nestle so perfectly into the soft hollow between her neck and shoulder.

A dim reflection of his old life. His old self.

Whereas Vander…

Silco carries his brother everywhere. His body and mind are at once testament and trapping of their miserable history. Betrayal entombed within and beyond. His eye, his secrets, his scars.

Zaun.

"I knew her as a girl," Silco says. "She worked in the mines."

"Was she pretty?"

"In hindsight."

Jinx jabs an elbow none-too-tenderly in his ribs. "And in non-hindsight?"

"Stop that," Silco says perfunctorily. Then: "Back then, I took no notice of her. I took little notice of girls in general." His world had revolved around Vander: the sun of his lovelorn orbit. "I remember her as a skinny, strange, quiet thing. But she had a canny way with herbs. She'd carry a satchel full of concoctions she'd made herself, and trade them for spare change. We were half-ravaged, most of us. Young. Dirty. Hungry. Our lives were spent down in the belly of the mines. It was the only home we had, and it was a hard place to belong. A harder place to survive."

"But it was life, right? Real life. Builds character."

Silco shakes his head. "Choice builds character. When you're poor, your only choices are how to make the best of the worst." He stares out into the middle distance. "Nandi was different. She had a gift for finding beauty in the ugliest places. She was the only person I knew who could nurture a sprig of clovers in the ash-fields. Who could coax the canaries to nest near the shantytown. She'd once brought back a nestling fallen from its perch, and nursed it back to health on gruel and water."

"Aww," Jinx says.

"Don't," Silco warns.

"Baby Silly was smitten."

"I wasn't smitten." The hair-trigger irritation is mostly surface. "I was twelve. She was ten. Not exactly a ripe age for romance."

"What about after?"

"After, Vander and I began our smuggling ring. We left the mines behind, and began trading in black-market goods. By sixteen, I'd had my run-in with the Patrolman, and been packed off to Hölle Correctional Facility. By nineteen, I'd left for the Academy. My path didn't cross Nandi's until six years later. By then..." He subsides. "By then, Nandi was a grown woman. And, yes. Beautiful. She was still quiet. Still strange. But she didn't care what other people thought. She had a dignity in herself. Not pomposity or puffery. Just self-worth. That's rare in the Lanes. Tragically rare. Especially given the childhood she had."

"What kinda childhood?"

"Their father—hers and Sevika's—was a drunken brute. Went by the moniker The Wharfside Devil."

"No shit?"

"Language."

"I mean—for real?" Jinx's head slides into his orbit, a little blue moon powered by pure curiosity. "The fella they sing about in the taverns?"

"The very same. He was a terror at home, too. Used to knock his children from wall to wall. Eventually he was sentenced to Stillwater for armed robbery. The Warden took the girls into custody. They kicked around at orphanages. Then they were conscripted to serve in the mines."

"Like you and Vander."

He nods.

"Was Sevika the older one?"

"Younger by six years."

Jinx cozies her head into her favorite spot, temple-to-temple. Her eyes are half-lidded in contemplation. "I reaaaaally can't picture the Ogre with a sister."

"They were close. Because of the horrific stuff in their home... Nandi took it upon herself to watch over Sevika. No easy feat. Sevika had her father's fighting streak. She was always getting into spats. But Nandi had a way of soothing her. I'd glimpse them from time to time in the streets. A more contrary pair, you'd never see. Sevika was much the same as now. Tough. Plainspoken. Short-fused."

"A real peach," Jinx mutters.

"Nandi was different. She was no shrinking violet, but she had an effortless serenity. By her twenties, she'd lost all her hearing. But she could read lips, and listen like no one I'd ever known. She'd watch you, not with her eyes, but her senses. You'd spill the most personal details. And she'd sit there and absorb it. All of it. Then she'd offer something in return. Sometimes advice. Sometimes a potion. Sometimes just a smile."

Jinx's voice grows subdued. "She sounds special."

"She was a rarity. People were always crowding around her. Seeking counsel, or just a shoulder to cry on. And she always obliged." Silco feels a brief, biting twist of fondness. "That's how she became an apprenta to the Priestess. Six years of tutelage. A lifetime of service. Weekends, she'd cook in the public kitchens at Janna's Temple. The rest of the time, she'd lead the prayers, make poultices, tend the sick. She had the touch."

"What did she look like?"

"You'd have liked her hair." He can still feel it, sometimes. Dark, fine, silken strands slipping through his fingers. "It was uncommonly long. Nearly to her thighs. Black as Sevika's, and just as thick. But when the lights caught it, it shone like a mirror. She had Sevika's height, too. We met eye-to-eye. But where Sevika was all sinew, Nandi was supple. Curves. Softness." His tone catches, a momentary fumble. "They were sisters, through and through. But you could tell, at a glance, where the blood was split. Sevika had inherited her clan's strength. And Nandi—inherited the soul."

"Sisters, huh?"

He hears the ache in Jinx's voice. She swallows, once, and makes a small movement. For a moment, Silco wonders if she is going to slough herself off. But she only encircles him tighter, arms and legs and warmth, as if to stem a deep internal ache.

Hers—or his.

"So?" she prods gently. "How'd you run Nandi down?"

"Run her down? She wasn't quarry, child."

"No, she was a Priestess. No way she'd give your shady ass the time of day."

"Language."

"What? I'm right! You had game, but no game's good enough to—"

"It wasn't a pursuit," Silco cuts in. "It was a progression."

"What's that mean?"

"It took its own pace." Silco navigates a steep slope with careful footfalls. His arms adjust their hold on Jinx's knees. She's no thistledown, but his muscle-memory molds to her shape. An intimacy so innate that he forgets the passage of time. "You're not wrong. Vander and I—we were like wolves in those days. Wild, uncouth, uncivilized. We'd clawed our way out of the orphanages. We'd clawed our way out of the mines. We'd clawed our way into the Lanes and made something out of nothing. Nandi was different. She had her own world: one where there was suffering, but also salve. Even back then, I respected that. So I took pains to make an acquaintance."

"Did it work?"

"Not right off. She wasn't averse to a friendly dance. But she had the good sense to see me as trouble. She'd take her leave as soon as the Sumpside Waltz was done. But I was patient. Or better put: relentless. I bided my time. I made advances by increments, but never crossed lines. There's a rhythm to winning someone over, Jinx. The right tempo, the right measure, until the song goes from a solo to a duet."

Playfully, Jinx tweaks his ear. "Listen to you, Mr. Pickup Artist!" Her intonation drops to sly gravel. "They don't come easy, these womenfolk. One has to play the long con."

He uncurls a grudging smile. "I'd never put it in such mercenary terms. But yes: the sentiment stands. We had a dance, Nandi and I. I'd offer. She'd accept. I'd read her cues and communicate my wishes. She'd give me a nod, and then I'd lead."

"You make it sound like she was calling the shots."

"Because she was." The smile lingers. "Nandi was always her own person. She had boundaries, and she'd never be persuaded beyond them. I had to take the long view... until her tune changed."

"Did it?"

"Eventually. A half-dozen dances, and she finally let me into her world. Her neighborhood in Oldtown. Her little flat at Drop Street. Soon, she'd invited me to the prayers in Janna's Temple." He allows himself a beat of savoring silence. "It was a rainy evening, and the place was full. Everyone was soaked from the downpour. But no one minded. In fact, no one noticed. Everyone was too caught up in the ceremony. It was extraordinary. The Priestess and her acolytes were so graceful. They weren't trying to prove anything. Only honoring the divine. And when they'd finished, the congregation began a rhythmic clapping, and it was a prayer itself. I had never seen anything like it. I was awed."

There is delicacy in Jinx's silence. Like she's picked a locked door, expecting to find a skeleton, only to discover a sprig of posies.

"So—what?" she says. "You got religion?"

Silco shakes his head. "I've never believed in gods. You know that. But there is a power in belief, no matter how unfounded. Ritual is its own magic, and pulls its own strings. That was the first night I'd witnessed ritual as a means to unite people." His voice dips to a low scoff. "In fact, I remember thinking it was a damned shame. Why not use this power for something practical? Something to rally the masses together against Topside."

"Sounds like something you'd say." Jinx's chin dips, a little nudge. "I can hear you sometimes, y'know. In my head. Even when you're not there. Like a song that goes on and on and ooooooon." Then: a shutter-snap segue. "So what happened after the Temple prayers?"

"They doled out food from the open kitchens. It was a feast, really. Just cheap bread and soup, but it tasted as fine as anything I've ever supped on. The old Priestess sat with me and explained the process. How the chaff-bread was kneaded. How the soup was made in massive cauldrons. How everyone contributed something, and thus everyone was enriched. At the time, community-owned enterprise was still a novelty. We'd only just begun to unionize in the mines. So the concept struck me as strangely noble."

"Noble?" Jinx snorts. "Like a fancy-pantsy charity?"

"Not a charity. More like a haven. Somewhere people from different walks of life could find their place." He shrugs. "It's an idea I've kept close."

"With your network."

"With Zaun."

Jinx is quiet. He can see the gleam in her eye: the one that burns with equal parts doubt and desire. It's a look she'd worn in childhood, when the knot of her emotions went too deep, and what loosened it was the promise that she wasn't alone. That someday, she'd have her own place. Her own legacy.

That's the beauty of Zaun. It is a city of castaways. A place where those who don't belong can always find their own way.

"So what happened next?" she says. "Did you and Nandi... y'know."

"What?"

"Did you do the bouncy-bouncy?"

Exasperation edges Silco's words. "I'll give you a moment to rephrase that."

"Ugh. You know what I mean!" A little finger prods his scarred cheek. "Did the inevitable come to pass?"

He flicks off the offending digit. "No."

"Seriously?"

"It wasn't for lack of trying." The terrain grows treacherous; the bridge is in disrepair. He hoists Jinx in tighter. His feet know the path. And his back has carried heavier loads. "The problem wasn't attraction. It was logistics. Those were hard times. Vander and I were running the Black Lanes. The Wardens were breathing down our necks. From time to time, they'd send Enforcers. They'd raid the Drop, and haul the regulars off. Beatings. Interrogations. Imprisonment. Many of us were in and out of the brig on a weekly basis. And every time we got sprung, we'd hit back. Harder and harder. Rallies. Strikes. Protests. Anything to stir disorder."

"Did it work?"

"Not really. The Wardens kept their hold. They knew the best way to disarm us was to break our spirit. That's what the Enforcers are good for." His good eye slits. "Every other week, they'd break into my flat at the Pump Station. Throw me on the ground and put their knees in my back. Cuff my hands and get their batons. They'd call me names. 'Freak,' 'filth,' 'Rat-bastard.'" His tongue rolls around the words. "Some days, I was so bloody-minded I'd tell them to try harder. Then they'd really lay it on me."

Jinx's grip tightens over his chest. Silco strokes her knuckles with his thumb, a silent soothing. She's heard this story before. From his mouth, and from the mouths of other Trenchers. But each retelling, with its attendant violence, still affects her.

After all, Enforcers were once an omnipresent evil. A daily reminder of how expendable the Fissurefolk were.

"What'd they do to you?" Jinx whispers.

"The usual. Bash my head into the walls. Kick me and pummel me. A cracked rib here. A broken finger there. I learned to sleep with a knife under the pillow." He squeezes her hand. "Vander defended me when he could. But the Enforcers weren't above knocking him down, too. He and I would get hauled into the lockup at the garrison. Usually, he'd be in as bad a state as I was. Other times, we'd each take the fall for the other. That way, the Lanes wouldn't lose both leaders at once. And whoever was still standing could keep the fight going." A crooked little smile. "That's loyalty for you."

Jinx nods.

Loyalty is a sacred word between them. Silco has taught her to revere it—and to hold it ransom. The first rule of the underworld is knowing where someone's allegiance lies. Loyalty is the foundation for everything: power, politics, play. You must know where to invest it. When to wield it.

And, above all else, how to exploit it.

"Did you ever fight back?" Jinx asks.

"If I could. Mostly, I chose my battles. I slipped into the shadows whenever the Enforcers came knocking. I carried a switchblade, and I wasn't shy in its use. I'd even hide weapons in places I could reach: the gutters, the rafters, the crawlspaces. And if all else failed, I'd take refuge where the Enforcers were least likely to find me."

"Janna's Temple."

"Yes. Nandi always welcomed me in. No questions asked. She was well aware of the brutality outside her walls. But her creed was to remain neutral. To offer shelter, and keep her peace. Sometimes, though, she couldn't help herself. She'd have harsh words with the Enforcers at the Temple gates. They'd threaten her. She'd stand her ground. Then she'd come in and patch me up." His smile loses its bite. "I was no easy case. But she always managed to quiet me down."

Jinx loosens a cackle. "You? Quiet? Puh-lease."

The sound tickles a tender space inside Silco. His face remains straight, his eyes on the path ahead.

"She had her ways. She'd brew me tea. Or tell me stories about the Temple's history. About the old mystics of Vekaura. Sometimes she'd just sit with me in silence." He lapses into musing. "She had the patience of a saint, that woman."

"So you two got together at the Temple?"

"In a sense. We'd been dancing around each other for weeks. I was still a little reckless. A little wild. But Nandi was good for me. A safe port in the storm. One evening, I stopped by the Temple. Not to seek refuge, but to roll in a barrel of salted fish I'd lifted off a Topside merchant. A gift for her. When I boasted about the score, she scolded me. I said it was just a lark. She said I had a lot to learn. I said I was learning. After the prayers, I helped her dole out the fish to the worshipers. By the night's end, she walked me to the gates. And she kissed me."

He falls silent. The night is so hazy now; even in memory. What comes to him are tactile snatches. The black cornsilk of Nandi's hair. The pale notch of her sewn harelip. The warm russet of her bare skin. The cut of her hipbones and the softness of her breasts under his palms, and the way she'd sighed when he kissed his way down her body, her fingers tangling in his hair and her thighs parting for him. The taste of her: a sweet sharp tang. Like a mouthful of candied ginger. The sounds she'd made when he'd first gone inside her, her arms and legs folding around him, her cries breathless and aching with want.

The way she'd said his name afterward: Sil. A whisper-sigh of pleasure: Sil. Her hand, trembling, on his face. Her fingertips, tracing his mouth, memorizing the shape of his smile.

Sil.

He'd been twenty-five, and that syllable held the purity of a prayer.

Jinx says: "So was she...?"

"What?"

"Y'know." Her voice grows small. "The Big Boom."

"What in the hexing hell is a Big Boom?"

"It's when the primer pops!"

"The what?"

"You know! When the fuze sparks and burns down the detonator, and the main charge ignites!" Her eyes are alight. Silco is certain that if she possessed a tail, it'd be perked. "That second where everything falls into place and the world goes quiet, and then—" She spreads her hands. "Boom!"

"Is this another absurd euphemism?"

"No."

Jinx's hand slips between the space of his coat and shirt. Her palm starfishes over his heart.

"I mean," she says, "did Nandi make the anger go quiet?"

Silco considers his answer. A simple yes. A complicated no.

"She made a difference," he says. "It's not the same thing."

"Meaning—what?"

"Meaning—" He stops, then sighs. "Two people can fit together. In mind and body. But they can't fit together into one whole. Nobody can. Everyone comes with their own histories. Their own limitations. Nandi was lovely. The best kind of person. But we had our own rhythms, our own lives. And I wasn't always good for her. I could be selfish. Cagey. I wanted what I wanted, and damn the consequences." A headshake. "It's just as well commitment was the furthest thing from our minds."

"You never made it official?"

"What we had was official enough. Nandi liked to say people have no ownership of each other. They're like rivers. Nobody can own a river. Not really. All you can do is choose to flow alongside it."

"So she was a free spirit."

"She was. I liked that about her. Her ways suited mine." His lightness fades. "People aren't rivers, though. They can be twisted by forces beyond their control. They can split up and lose their way. Vander and I did. We'd spent years in the thick of revolution. Fighting the good fight. Now, we kept fighting each other. I was young. I had my sights set on toppling Topside. Vander—he was a born custodian. He couldn't see the point in burning the bridge when the enemy would always be next door. We'd butt heads over everything. The means; the ends. It was as if all our childhood fights had just been practice for the real thing." He lets a slow exhalation drain. "Us against ourselves."

"Just the way Topside wanted," Jinx says.

"Hm." The bitterness wells like blood. "By the end, closeness became claustrophobia. The only thing we had in common was Zaun. But the way we loved her was different. I loved her because she was mine. He loved her because he was hers. And there was no compromise. Each time we were together, it devolved into a showdown. Later, we'd go off to our corners. He'd tend the bar at the Drop. I'd go to Nandi's. She'd make me dinner. We'd talk. We'd fu—make love. Afterward, we'd discuss the future. And I'd feel, for a little while, that life was not falling apart." He darkens. "Until it did."

"Bloody Sunday."

Silco nods. "By April, things came to a boil. The Wardens upped their pressure. Enforcers were everywhere. There were mass crackdowns. Raids. Shootouts. Imprisonments. We couldn't get our heads above water. I was at a rally that night to boost morale. Vander was too. We'd been on the same side for so long. Now, we couldn't stand to be in the same room. By the time we finished our speeches, we were both steaming. I decided to cut out early. Sevika was with me. We were headed to our next stop."

"At Janna's Temple."

"Yes. The Priestess was leading the prayers. The dead boy's memorial. I'd have been there myself, had the rally not ran long. I was late. For once in my life, I was late. Sevika suggested we stop by Jericho's. We could grab a quick meal, then catch the second half of the ceremony. It would only be a few minutes. I said no. We were bickering beneath the awning when we heard that Enforcers had stormed the Temple. Inside, there were reports of gunshots. Screams. Worse."

Jinx is silent. She knows the story's conclusion. But she still bears it with him. She bears him up.

"Sevika and I ran. We ran like hell. That's when the blast happened. I didn't see the flash. But the sound was like a sledgehammer to the skull. The concussive force threw us backward. I cracked my head on the cobblestones. It took a few moments to collect my wits. Sevika and I picked ourselves up. We kept going. When we got to the Temple, the place was ablaze. Sevika's first instinct was to dash in. Find her sister. I grabbed her. Held her back. The building was already collapsing. The only thing we could do was get clear." His jaw sets. "She fought me like a wildcat. Screamed her sister's name. But the roof was crumbling, and the whole block was on fire. The only way forward was back. At the Drop, a crowd had gathered. Some of them were crying. Others were shellshocked. Then death-toll began. Rescuers pulling out body after body. The runners relaying the names. Names I recognized. Men and women I knew. Alive yesterday; corpses today. Then I heard the name. Nandi. I couldn't believe it. I told the runner he was wrong. Then he said the name again. Nandi. And I knew. I just... knew."

Jinx shivers, and Silco stops.

His expression is solid as steel from years of dissembling. But the memory comes in irresistible pulls. The heat, the crush of bodies, the whispers rising and falling. The shock of loss like a fist to his gut. His vision dimming at the edges. A single question rising in the dark: Why?

And the scream.

A scream that went on and on and on.

It comes back now in an awful ambivalence of rage and retrospect. All of it tugged loose, renewed and resurrected in every dimension. The more he unspools the thread of his history, the more it tangles with Jinx's.

And with Sevika's.

Almost is the nature of his relationship with Sevika. Almost-kin. Almost-partners. Almost-lovers. It's as close as he can tolerate, when the functional and familial come with their own attendant complexities. And when you have shared custody of a dead woman, the lines blur further. The double-helix of guilt and grief braids itself tighter when a dead baby is twisted into the equation.

It is a muddled mass, a clot of disembodied memory.

A story with a stillborn ending.

"I was in shock. Barely coherent. But Sevika was in denial. She couldn't grasp it. She wouldn't. Together, we went to the clinic. That's where they'd taken the survivors. There weren't many. Most slipped away in the hours afterward. And Nandi..." The barest swallow. "She was unrecognizable. A jigsaw of broken bones. It was so bad, they wouldn't let Sevika see the body. I had to bribe the orderlies just to get past the doors. Sometimes I wish I hadn't. It's a sight you never forget."

Jinx says nothing. Just nestles closer.

"Nandi was a solace to me. Same way the Temple was to the community. Now, both were gone. Only ashes left behind." The speech is mere scaffold now; his gritty voice, a born orator's, becomes the foundation. "That was the turning point. The Lanes were never the same. Fissurefolk grew angrier. More ruthless. It's hard to see the light when the only thing left is darkness. The same went for the rest of us. Vander and I had nothing but blowouts afterward. He'd accuse me of bringing the Lanes down. I'd say the Lanes were already in hell. Meanwhile, Sevika and I grew closer. Our grief wasn't the same. But our rage was. She'd lost her sister. I'd lost my solace. We both vowed to destroy those responsible. We began rallying more fighters. We planned a large-scale retaliation. Vander warned me that it was foolish to escalate. But he couldn't fight the tide. It was already rising."

"The Day of Ash," Jinx whispers.

"It was the only way. We'd been pushed to limits beyond reckoning. They'd taken our lives, and we were ready to take theirs. So Vander and I made our preparations. We gathered our forces. Then we marched to the Bridge. The rest—"

He lapses on a single, guttural breath.

"The rest you know."

Jinx stays silent, listening, hand resting on his chest.

"So that's why, huh?"

"Hm?"

"That's why nobody talks about Bloody Sunday. It's not a sore spot. It's a psychotic break."

Silco nods.

"That's why Topside did it. To push us over the edge. Break our spirits—or our bodies. Either way, they'd win."

Silco nods again.

"That's fucked." Her hand curls into a fist over his heart. "That's so fucked."

This time, Silco offers no remonstrance. Jinx's voice holds little grief. Only a killing hardness. Like Silco, she isn't built for anything else. Her world has never been delineated by softer contours. Her innocence is already tainted by inerasable trauma; her trauma twisted by inescapable innocence.

Zaun steeps with the paradox—past and present.

(But not future.)

(I promise, Jinx.)

Silco's gait has slowed: partially because the cobblestones are cracked, and the incline steep. Mostly because the last quarter-mile on this bridge is the most perilous. He ought to slough Jinx off. She's not eleven anymore, and he isn't in his thirties. At his height, he'd hauled her through alleyways and up rooftops without breaking a sweat—before heading off to break real bones with the crew.

Except he's missed carrying her like this, practically wearing her like a blanket. The wind blows off the warm motes caught in her skin, flirting through the lopped-off fringe of her hair. He mourns the loss of her beautiful braids. But the green-tinted sky reflects off the convexity of her eyes and darkens the starspray of freckles on her cheeks. Her proximity holds a perfection that is nearly hallucinatory.

His backache. His heartache. His sole joy in this godsforsaken world.

"Aren't you tired?" Jinx whispers.

"Tired?"

"Tired of carrying it all. Me. Zaun. All of it." Her skull nestles against his jowl. "Haven't you ever wanted to walk away?"

(Once.)

(When I thought you were lost.)

(Because that meant it was all for nothing.)

"No," he says, and means it. "Never."

"I'm heavy," Jinx says sullenly. "You'd think I'd be lighter. I'm nothing but bones."

Silco's hand enfolds Jinx's fist. It's a possessive, almost primal clasp. The same one that kept a crying child close, his footsteps carrying her away from the flames, and Vander's broken carcass on the concrete. The same one that vowed, with every cell in his body, never to let go.

Her small body, then and now, is no burden. And her soul, heavy as it is, has become a counterweight. Two halves of a whole, perfectly balanced. He can bear anything with her weight upon him.

Because with her in his arms, the world is a lighter place.

"Hollow bones," he says. "Like a bird."

"A crow, maybe." Her voice is a raw splinter. "They're always following me around. 'Cause they know. Same as everybody else."

"Know what?"

"I'm bad luck. The Jinx to end all jinxes."

With her balled fist, she thumps his ribcage. The blow is no harder than a child's, but his heart still throbs to its impact. Taking her quivering hand, he lifts it to his lips, and kisses her knuckles. Then he folds his long fingers through hers.

"You're no crow, Jinx."

"What then?"

"A phoenix." It comes on an abraded whisper. "I'm not a man of faith. Before you, I put no stock in gods. There's no such thing as divine balance. Only the equation of cold equity."

"Cost and reward," Jinx murmurs.

"Our lives for Topside's wealth. Our deaths for their gains. No god had ever changed that." A breath. "Only you."

"Me...?"

"You showed them. The night you burned down the Bridge. You took everything it cost us, and you paid it back tenfold." He turns his head. His lips touch her cheek: an inch of bare, freckled skin. "When faith flags, only force survives. It's a balance gods will never understand. Because gods aren't real. You are. And Zaun is real because of you." He smiles. "You're the only prayer I need. And I'll never let them forget it."

Them.

The Topsiders. Her naysayers. Her ghosts.

Jinx's breath comes on bone-deep shiver. Then her arms enfold his neck. She burrows her head into the crook of his shoulder. Heat and heartbeat. Silco's world is reduced to these twin sensations. His world is nothing else.

She holds him as much as he holds her.

They've reached the bridge's zenith. Below them, the river's murky tributaries split into a dozen streams, coursing in a webwork that disappears into the darkness. The wind stirs the water, ripples scuttling across its surface. The isolation is almost absolute. Only the occasional glow of a firelight punctures the gloom.

As if the world is holding its breath.

"Tell me the rest," Jinx whispers.

"The rest?"

"The happy times." Her palm cups his scarred cheek. "You never talk about happy times. Just what had to be done. The means and ends."

"The means got us to the end."

"Yeah. But—" Her fingers tremble. "There's got to be more, right?"

Silco stares out into the barren landscape. Seeing nothing; remembering all. The memories, long buried, begin to disinter themselves. Their glow is an old one, dull like a cog dug up from the soil.

But the currency still holds value.

"There were moments," he says. "Small ones. But they were ours to keep."

"Like what?"

"Little things. Sometimes Nandi and I would visit the Equinox Bazaar, and she'd hold my hand while she led me from stall to stall. For a deaf girl, she had an unerring gift for knowing which hawker was crowing about shoddy merchandise. Then she'd smile and sic me on them. I'd haggle till my jaw was sore, but it was worth it. Some evenings, we'd walk away with an entire basket of chitterlings. Or a sack of spices. Or a whole barrel of fruit."

Jinx grins into his collar. "There's that silver tongue in action."

"The trick is in the framing. Never open with, 'But it's old,' 'But it's cracked,' or 'But it's cheap.' Play to their pride instead. Let them think they're doing you a favor. Talk up the goods, but downplay your interest. When they finally come to their price, look disappointed. Let the silence linger. Don't blink. Don't break. Before you know it, they'll drop the price by half." His smile turns a little wolfish. "It works outside the bazaar, too."

Jinx's laugh is a tiny flutter, like a moth's wings. But it's real, and Silco savors it. A girl's tickled fancy.

"Always knew you were a con man," she says. "A regular slickster."

"Even slickers have to eat. And Nandi liked to cook. Her kitchen was the size of a cupboard. But she was a master of making do. I'd bring home a few modest fixings, and she'd whip them up into a meal to make your belly sing. Fishbone curry. Lentil stew. Pickled mango. Sometimes Sevika would be there too. It made for tight quarters, but a full belly." A wry aside: "Neither of them let me near the stove."

"Gee, I wonder why."

"Other nights, we'd go dancing. Just Nandi and I. She couldn't hear music. But there's more to rhythm than sound. It's the way a crowd moves. The beat of their feet. The percussion of drums. She could feel it in her bones. And once we'd found our rhythm, she flowed like a stream." He grins despite himself. It takes a moment to even realize that he is. "Once, we won the dance-hop at Rotten Row."

"Wait?" Jinx hooks her chin onto his shoulder. "You used to cruise Rotten Row?"

"Years before. It wasn't a cesspit. But it was no Promenade, either. There were only a handful of establishments at the time. The Sprout—that's where the miners flocked for good ale on tap. Men and women polishing their elbows side by side at the bar, hot jazz playing on the jukebox and the whiff of rye in the air. If you were the gambling sort—with a taste for blood-sport—you'd sojourn south to The Rumbler's Den. Betting was illegal in those days. Most of it occurred off-the-books, in the back-rooms of low sort of establishments. The kind where hard drinking and fast living were the order of the day. For a handshake with a hex, the publican would show you to a trapdoor and lead you downstairs to the cellar, where Jack the Rat-Catcher plied his trade. Vermin as fat as kittens ripping each other to shreds inside a pit, and the punters howling their heads off. Afterward, if you were in a festive mood, you might take your winnings to The Belle—a humble precursor of Babette's—to watch the girls perform."

Jinx snorts. "In their underpants."

"Nonsense. They were all respectably dressed in garters and top hats."

And little else—but that's beside the point.

"No way you took Nandi to The Belle," Jinx says. "Priestesses don't dance in their garters."

"More's the pity."

"Where then?"

"A dance-hall called The Nymph. It fancied itself an upscale place. Rather like a grand dame fallen on hard times. It was one of the few establishments with a legitimate Topside permit. No tobacco or fistfights indoors. No hanky-panky in the back-alleys. You were allowed in, if at all, because you cleaned up nicely, and were serious about dancing. Vander and I were neither. But we were on good terms with the proprietress, so we were always welcome. The Nymph had the liveliest bands and the best music."

"Did they play rock-and-roll?"

He shakes his head. "Jazz was all the rage then. Dancing was different too. There were steps."

"I'm still stuck on you actually hanging in Rotten Row."

"So you do listen." He squeezes her knee. "It seems like yesterday. But it was so long ago. A different era."

"D'you miss it?"

His hesitation runs parallel to honesty. "No."

"No?"

"Retrospect is a slippery slope. Especially if you survive the fall unbruised. You start imagining things were better than they truly were. Except they weren't. They were just different." The muscle in his jaw twitches. "I was different too. No two eras are ever the same. Just as no two people are the same."

"Or two loves?"

Silco's brow gives a dry tweak. "Someone's romanticizing a tad."

"You didn't love Nandi?"

"It was so long ago."

Jinx's eyes hold his sidelong. A strangely calm and piercing stare.

"You loved who you were with her," she says, "except your Big Boom was somewhere else."

"Zaun."

Jinx's palm aligns over his heart again. "Vander."

There is a moment of dead shock. It lodges itself like a bloodless bullet between Silco's eyes. For a beat, it feels as if his skin might split open at the scalp to give Jinx a glimpse of the glistening red runnels of his brain. His secrets. His scars.

This is what she does. In small ways or big, she always catches him off-guard.

"Everything you've said," Jinx says. "It's about a life you could've had with Nandi. A family and home and all the rest. Except it never happened. Maybe you wanted it, but you wouldn't let yourself need it. Because what you really needed was Vander. Him and Zaun. Everything else came second." Her palm flattens. "You chose, and Vander didn't. He gave it all up, and took the life you'd let go. The family. The home. He took everything, and left you with nothing. And now you've got Zaun, but you've still got nothing. Nothing but—" Her lip quivers, "—me."

Her palm transmits a pulse straight into the chambers of Silco's black heart.

He thinks of Nandi; of Vander. If she had lived, Silco would have had what he wanted. If Vander had lived, Silco would have had what he needed. And yet he'd be bereft, because there would be no Zaun, and the idea of no Zaun is untenable. And Jinx, in their mutual absence, has always stood as the sum total of all three. The only truth left standing once the binary of cost and reward is trumped by divine reckoning.

"I'd trade it all," Silco rasps, "in a heartbeat."

"You'd go back?"

"Forward."

Her hand is a fist now. "Say it again."

"Forward." He covers her knuckles. "Everything I've lost. All the blood I've shed. It's all led to you." He squeezes. "I don't regret one red drop."

The light is receding in the sky. But Jinx's eyes glow with a triple-shocked intensity. Her smile is a tiny, lip-trembly thing. Heartbreakingly sweet. It makes Silco wish he'd said it sooner. Told her every day, instead of whittling their moments down to the bare bones of sentiment. He should've wasted less time. Wasted less love.

The two most unpardonable wastes of all.

Jinx kisses the point of his ruined cheekbone.

"To the moon and back," she whispers.

"To a thousand hells beyond."

She shifts the orientation of her body, squeezing him tight with her arms and legs—a stranglehold of affection. Then she uncoils and slithers off. Released, Silco almost misses the weight. But her warmth lingers with him, like the remnants of the sunlight before the darkness.

He straightens. Snap-crackle-pop goes his spine. A guffaw cracks from Jinx's lips.

"Hope you didn't slip a disc, old man."

"My own fault."

"For getting sloppy?"

"For offering the free pony ride."

Jinx cups a hand over her eyes, taking in the distance they've traversed. "I'd say this pony's earned his oats."

"And his rest."

Silco rolls his neck, working out the kinks. The vista stretches out, unbroken; the horizon a hazy line. Railway tracks cut through the terrain in a submerged zigzag. The rest of the landscape is a patchwork of canals and culverts, all flowing north.

They're at the midway point. From here, it's a straight shot to their destination.

And yet he senses the static resistance in Jinx's bones. He can see it in her face: eyes dipped and shoulders taut. Her entire being conveys a low-key reticence. She's like a child who, forbidden to cross the street, has done so anyway, and is now afraid to turn around. As if to acknowledge the mistake is to invite retribution. And when she does pivot, her eyes pose a single question: Now what?

"We're almost there," Silco says, daring to hope. "Just a few miles to go."

Jinx bites her lip. "Can we stop for a bit?"

"Stop?"

"I'm hungry."

It's four-fifths lie. But her look is one of naked pleading. Silco feels himself relent, though it's an inch he can't afford.

"I've whiskey in my flask."

"Breakfast of champions, huh?"

"There's worse things." He pauses, considering. "Unless you are in a daring mood."

"Daring, how? We gonna hunt a sump-boar?"

"Not quite." He points. Beneath a dark ridge of rocks jutting from the riverbanks, there is stretch of prickling black scrubland. Low-flying bats dart overhead. "The undergrowth is a prime spot for foraging. Wild onions. Pigweed. Tubers." A half-smile. "Then there's the matter of cave-wasps."

"Cave-wasps?"

"They're vicious bastards. Venomous as rattlesnakes, and twice as temperamental. They build their hives right in the heart of the underbrush. The bats are a decent gauge. If the colony's active, we'll find a nest nearby."

Jinx looks dubious. "We're gonna steal a wasp-nest?"

"Not steal." Silco pulls out his lighter. "Smoke."

That ignites a smile—the one he remembers from Jinx's girlhood. A dimpling, double-barreled bang-bang of delight.

"Now we're talkin'!" she cheers. "Giddy up, Seabiscuit!"

Her blue hair flies, and so does her laugh. Then she's gone, and Silco is hastening to keep pace. Crossing the bridge, they veer together into the scrubland. The soil is soft. Their footfalls sink like silent stones through water. Branches prickle at their bodies; little barbs biting through their clothes. The earthy scent is overpowering: lichen, fungus, scat, spoor.

In the distance, a bat gives off a high-pitched chirp.

Moving stealthily, Silco and Jinx circle the terrain. The land slopes into a dip. At its nadir, a squat copse of trees huddles together. The insectile drone of wasps rises and falls. Their black nest hangs from the upper branches. Hundreds of insects swarm its surface. The sweetness of nectar wafts through the air.

Silco and Jinx retreat a short distance away. They huddle behind a wall of brush. Silco scrounges together a handful of dead branches. Then he strikes his lighter. Jinx crouches, her hand cupped around the tiny spark.

Her eyes, dancing neon, meet his. Silco's own heart leaps at the thrill of collusion.

He's not done this in an age, but his body remembers. And Jinx's reflexes, her quicksilver focus, are a seamless fit. They work as almost a single organism, not synchronicity but fusion.

The flame licks the desiccated twigs. With a crackle, the fire catches. Silco fans it with his coat. Within moments, the kindling has become a torch. Silco lifts it high. He creeps out of the thicket, Jinx trailing his footsteps. The wasp-nest is a black knot hanging in the canopy. The insects have not yet detected them. Silco's pulse beats, steady, and he crouches, laying the torch to the base of the tree.

Then he and Jinx retreat.

Positioned at safe distance, they wait. Smoke swirls. The wasps' buzzing grows high-pitched. The air fills with a strange, pungent odor. Inside the hive, Silco knows their senses are misfiring. They will begin eating the nectar. Becoming bloated. Becoming drunk. Soon their orderly internal system will devolve into chaos. Then the entire nest will empty itself in a frenzied panic.

Silco and Jinx watch, huddled together.

They watch the same way they'd watched the Bridge collapse. They watch unapologetically, because Nature is a game of want and take, with no framework of fairness, and their own natures have been shaped accordingly.

They are the children of a starved city, and they've learned to take what they need.

To relish the spoils.

Jinx's eyes glitter. "I can hear them."

"Count it down. When the time is right—" Silco presses his boot-knife into her palm. His own grips Vander's blade. "Cut."

Minutes pass. The hive judders. And a swarm of wasps, like a thousand dark stars, erupt. The insects spiral outward in a disorganized mess, the buzzing of their wings almost maddening. The smoke has made their world an incomprehensible hell. They are lost. Driven wild by fear.

Sometimes, that's all it takes. One little taste.

"Now," Silco says.

As one, he and Jinx surge. She zips toward the tree, knife in hand. Shimmer-speed makes her a blur. Leaping, she cuts down the emptied nest. Wasps, straggling, plummet from the canopy. Some twitch; others are stupefied. Lunging, Silco impales the nest. It breaks into two large sections. Jinx grabs one, and he the other.

Together, they run.

Wasps tail their heels, but they are sluggish from smoke. Silco barely hears the buzz over Jinx's whooping laughter. Together, they hurtle down the hill. They plunge into a gully, its muddy banks a slurry of clay. Silco splashes past the stream, and Jinx follows suit. The wasps retreat. All that lingers is their dirgelike drone.

"That's right, you little punks!" Jinx hollers. "Back to your mudhole!"

Silco bites down a smile.

The slushy embankment gives way to an overhang. They climb high, the stones crunching beneath their boots. Cradled in their palms, the broken halves of the nest are encrusted with dirt. Shaking it loose, Silco cuts off precise slices. The comb oozes a thick, deep-red fluid. The aroma is dizzying.

"Here." Silco hands Jinx a dripping slice. "Taste."

Gingerly, Jinx accepts a piece. Her half-lidded look verges on fascination.

"I've never seen this color before."

"It comes from blackflower. A rare genus that grows in the caves. It only blooms once a year. The sap is poisonous, but its nectar is potent. The cave-wasps gather it to nourish their larvae. Who, by the by, are as sweet as their mothers are bitter." Silco sucks the sticky residue off his fingers. "It's a fine substitute for bee honey."

Jinx bites into the gooey comb. Thick runnels of nectar drip down her chin. She cups her hand to catch it, giggling. Her teeth are limned with red. It's a vision no less sublime than the blazing sky that she had painted across Piltover.

His goddess of the harvest, savoring her bloodied cornucopia.

"It's amazing," she breathes.

"It has enough nutrients to keep you full for a day." Silco cuts a syrupy slice for himself. "Though I'd caution against overconsumption. It's known to cause hallucinations."

Jinx licks a red thread from her palm. "The good kind?"

"Deadly."

They trade sideways smiles. The last of the adrenaline burns out of their systems. In its wake is hard-won lassitude.

They sit, shoulder-to-shoulder, in the spreading silence. The sun creeps through heavy clouds, speckling the vista. A veil of mist leeches into the landscape, wreathing the wasteland in a greenish shroud. Silco inhales the heavy dust and the cloying whiff of nectar. Beneath that, he smells Jinx and himself: sweat, grime, smoke. They've not been so filthy since the night at the Cannery.

And Silco relishes every smudge.

The seething anger that so often manifests itself in undigested physical symptoms—the lockjaw, the headaches, the temper—is, if not erased, then cleansed by the physicality of hard labor. To live, after a lifetime of cheating death, is to live a little dirty. And Silco, beneath the tailored suits and spit-shined brogues, is the irredeemable byproduct of Zaun's dirt. A body bred for a brute utility—to haul, to hit, to fuck, to fight. A spirit that can toe the scratch against exhaustion—and still stay standing.

There is a dark satisfaction in that. A reminder that no matter what's taken from him, it will never strip him down to nothing.

Not while there is a little grit left to cling to.

"Mrrrr." Jinx makes a sated sound. "That was nice."

"The honey, or the chase?"

"All of it. Everything." She tips her head back. The sun gilds her lashes. "Even those dumb wasps."

"They're smarter than they look." Silco wipes off his blade and stows it in his boot. "They've survived for decades. So have countless other creatures. The Deadlands are home to a complex ecosystem."

"Yeah, but—how?" Jinx lazes against him. "There's nothing around. Just sludge-pits."

"The Deadlands weren't always dead. This place was once a fertile garden. It's where the outcasts of Oshra Va'Zaun dwelled. Sorcerers too dangerous to remain in the city proper. They lived off the land, and its riches sustained them. It's said they used alchemy to cultivate flora and fauna the likes of which only exist in fairytales. Trees so giant they sheltered villages. Groves of wildflowers the color of gemstones. Fruit that, when peeled, tasted of pure heaven. And, of course, honey-making wasps. The sorcerers would harvest their hives for the blackflower sap. Make potions and elixirs." A biting silence. "Or so the story goes."

"So what happened?"

"Means and ends. Oshra Va'Zaun was once a civilization of the future. But in its race to the top, it stumbled and fell to the past." He leans back on his elbows. "A thousand years ago, ours was no subterranean hovel. We were a thriving port situated along the isthmus that divided East and West Valoran. The Shuriman empire flourished. Our city was their epicenter of pride. Our jewelers were renowned for their lapidary. Our seafarers navigated a complex network of estuaries as far as the Freljords. Our alchemists had their fingers in everything from medicine to magickal artifacts. We had mines, too. And minerals. And metals. In short, we were a trading juggernaut." He stops. "Then came the Cataclysm."

"That's when they blew up the isthmus, right?"

"Right. Before, vessels sailed through our Sun Gates to pass from east to west. Our city made its wealth with the tithes levied on trade-ships. It was a small tax, paid in silver. But it was enough to build a prosperous empire." His lip curls. "Until our waterfront cousins—the Coastlanders—decided to make the Sun Gates into their private toll-booth. They struck a deal with a cabal of foreign merchants. They'd demolish swathes of land connecting the Eastern and Western shelf. Ships would pass in greater numbers. And, instead of silver, they'd pay with cargo: gems, metals, exotic spices. The Coastlanders would sell these commodities in foreign ports. They'd make a fortune. All without lifting a finger."

Jinx scoffs. "Sounds familiar."

"History's a tapestry of common threads. Often it's spun by the same greedy hands." His head lolls back. "The Coastlanders had the audacity to call their plan The Great Map of Progress. They believed they'd unite all of Valoran in a vast commercial network. They failed to account for one crucial detail: the isthmus was tectonically unstable. The detonation destroyed the peninsula, and caused a chain reaction that rippled outward, collapsing the seafloor. In an instant, a civilization was swallowed. Oceans rushed in, drowning thousands. The fissures cracked open, spewing toxic gases. The Sun Gates collapsed. Overnight, the Shuriman Empire lost half its revenue. The empire's power waned. And our people—Oshra Va'Zaun—became a nation of waterlogged refugees."

Jinx has taken the Hex-gem out. She bounces it in her palm, as if playing dice. In the sunlight, it is azure blue, speckled with pinkish motes.

"What happened then?" she asks.

"What indeed? Overnight, we became an allegory of pride's pitfalls. Before the Cataclysm, we were a land of plenty. Now, we were a land of want. Meanwhile, the Coastlanders became the beneficiaries. They used stolen riches to rebuild a new port at the mouth of the river. They rerouted our tributaries, dammed them up, and siphoned the waters north. They made their homes on our bones, and stymied our efforts to build ourselves back up. Worse, they made a mockery of our plight. They took to calling us Sump-dwellers. Meanwhile, they became a city of golden spires. They dubbed it—"

"Piltover," Jinx finishes.

"A self-congratulatory homage to the Pilt. A reminder that we were, and would forever be, beneath them." Taking a wisp of Jinx's hair, he twists it idly between his fingertips. "But ours was no submerged slum. It was a strongbox of buried treasure. The Cataclysm had swept away our infrastructure. But the silver, the gold, the gems... they were still there. So the Coastlanders—Topside—sealed us off. They claimed our reserves as theirs, then monopolized the means of extracting them."

"And the Deadlands?"

"They are the consequence. What is left once the pretense is stripped down to bare greed. The Cataclysm had left the old gardens fallow. But we were given no chance to cultivate them, because Topside poisoned everything. Their mining rigs irradiated the groundwater. Their deep-drills turned the earth into a quagmire. They built railway lines to ferry ore to the Black Minge and let the effluvium seep into the atmosphere. For decades, we fought to reclaim the land. We tried every possible approach: petitioning Topside; lobbying the Council; sabotaging the rigs. None of it mattered. Topside's means were superior. And their ends were to suck us dry." He lifts the strand of hair to his lips, then lets go. "Now the Deadlands are their own allegory. A wasteland fit for noting but ghosts."

"But here we are," Jinx says grimly.

"Here we are," Silco agrees. "Because that is Zaun's allegory."

He picks up a clod of dirt and crumbles it between his fingers. It's not sand, but close enough. He sprinkles the dust over his knuckles and rubs his palms together, a rough scouring. Jinx, observing, follows suit. The honey residue comes off their skins in a film of grit. Silco withdraws his whiskey flask. Wetting their fingers, they wipe off their faces.

"Life is stubborn, Jinx," he goes on. "In the dark, it will find its light. In the muck, its roots." He dusts his palms off on his ragged-edged coat. "In the stillness, its prey."

Unexpectedly, he whips his knife out. It arcs downward. With a crack, it splits the shelled thorax of a scorpion creeping toward them. The insect's segmented body jerks spastically. It is the same color as the stones: a deep, blood-hued obsidian. The spiny tip of its tail, curled over its head, is bright red.

The droplets of honey have attracted it. Now instead of bounty, it's met the edge of a blade.

Jinx hunkers close, chin balanced on her fist. "Sneaky."

"As I said. Life finds a way."

Silco's blade pierces deep. The glossy chitin splits. Dark runnels stain the soil. The insect thrashes in death-throes. It's a thing of pure malice; nothing like the diligent wasps. Its only purpose is to stalk and kill.

But even the most poisonous things have their uses.

Wrenching his blade loose, Silco slices off the scorpion's tail. A single drop of milky venom oozes from the barb. He daubs the liquid on his fingertip.

"Whatcha doing?" Jinx cringes. "It's probably radioactive."

"It's a neurotoxin. The venom attacks the central nervous system. In large doses, it causes paralysis. In small ones?" He lifts his finger, then licks the tip. It tastes acridly sweet. "It's a painkiller."

"Ewwww."

"You'd be surprised. In the mines, it was the anesthetic of choice." His gums tingle. A familiar coolness, the icy twin of a burn, spreads across his tongue. "One drop was like a shot of whiskey. It took the edge off a rough shift."

Jinx shudders. "I'd rather kiss Sevika."

"Don't knock it till you try it."

"Blech!" The shudder becomes a full-bodied retch. "Don't even joke!"

"I meant the scorpion."

"Sevika, scorpion. Potato, potahto!" She leaps to her feet. "Both'll sting ya the second your back's turned!"

She makes a show of dusting herself off. Silco hides a sideways smile.

Inside, he is never sure whether to be amused or appalled by Jinx's blindness to the nature of his and Sevika's arrangement. He supposes it's a testament to the demarcations he enforces in his world. The domestic flipside of his life with Jinx is subject to sordid speculation. But nobody—not even Sevika—crosses into its boundary.

Silco guards the dead heart of himself. He guards the sparking fuse of his existence.

Except the reverse is also true. Jinx has a mere bird's eye view into his and Sevika's dealings. A lens colored by grief and jealousy. To her, Sevika is a shadowy doppelganger of Vi, a stand-in for the shame of destroying her family. He's known that for a while. The same way he knows that if Jinx fully confronted the carnage at the Cannery in her secret recesses, the truth would destroy her.

It's a painful irony: the one truly responsible for that night is Silco. And yet he's also the only one who has seen Jinx, nurtured her gifts, given her purpose.

Without him, she'd spiral deeper into derangement.

And without her, he'd be dead in a hundred different ways.

So he let her antagonism for Sevika go unchallenged. He let her see only the parts she needed to understand. Jinx's world is starkly boxed into black and white, and he let her keep those boxes because she needed them to keep going.

Sevika's own grudge against the girl made it easier. There were times when Silco wished, out of pure pragmatism, that they got along better. Times where he was tempted to take Jinx aside and explain how much more complicated his and Sevika's relationship is than Jinx understands. How far it goes beyond the confines of the mission. What happens between two people behind the scenes. Behind closed doors.

Except he cannot do that either.

He's denied himself a partner because he trusts nothing and nobody. But also because Jinx trusts nobody but him. Clever as she is, at her core she remains a child. She needs a safe haven, and he is hers. She cannot envision that Silco has secrets outside of her, or moods influenced by antics that aren't hers. Why would she, when she is, de facto, the center of his world?

A bitter smile tugs at Silco's lips.

Is it wrong to cherish her innocent myopia—even as he deplores it?

His smile fades.

For a man who leaves little to chance, the consequences of his own myopia are not lost on him. Last night, he'd chosen Jinx over Zaun. He'd let Sevika handle the fallout, and left to reckon with his own. That it was an act of monstrous selfishness can hardly be denied.

Now, he measures the price.

When he returns, will Sevika be there, waiting? Or will the Eye resurrect to find his city aflame?

His XO, gone. His streets, a battlefield. His bed, empty.

And his future—

"Hey." Jinx's fingers snap. "You alive in there, Silly?"

"Still kicking." With a grunt, he lifts to his feet. "Scorpion venom makes me drift, is all."

"You're so weird."

He cherishes the lazy fondness in Jinx's voice. He offers her the crook of his elbow; she enfolds it, and nuzzles close. A small shadow traipsing alongside him on dainty feet.

The sun has begun to dip west. It will be evening soon. The river flows south, its tributaries feeding the sludge-pools. In the distance, the old railway bridge looms, its rusted trusses silhouetted against the green curvature of the horizon. Soon, they'll hit the oxbows, and in time, the settlements.

They've crossed half the distance; the rest is a matter of dogged grit.

Jinx knows it as well as he does. Her fingers thread themselves into his buttonhole. Her eyes hold the same gleam as when he'd first led her into his shadowed domain—half-trepidation, half-trust.

"How d'you know so much, anyway?" she says quietly. "About the Deadlands and stuff."

"Think this is your little fiefdom, do you? Vander and I used to come here all the time."

"Really? Why?"

"To escape." He gestures to the expanse around them. "Graveyards and gardens. Both are repositories of treasure. The stories of Oshra Va'Zaun, a city buried beneath the waves… it was like a fairytale for us. After our shifts, we'd sneak off to explore. Sometimes, we'd stumble across an abandoned ruin. Or a relic half-buried in the sand. Or the bones of a prehistoric beast. We'd fight over who'd get to keep the skull." He scoffs. "Fools. We could've sold it and split the profits."

"Always the entrepreneur."

"Other times, we'd find a pocket of pure nature. A tree, laden with fruit. A grove, bursting with blackflowers. Luckiest of all, we mapped out the oxbows of fresh water. Pure blue, and completely untainted." His sigh is a wisp of a thing. "It was our small drop of paradise."

Jinx perks up. "Wait. There's clean water here?"

"In strategic spots."

Silco leads her westward. The snaking curvature of the gulley flattens into the smooth expanse dryland. The landmarks disclose themselves like the pages of an old book. One by one, he navigates them: a crumbling, moss-furred causeway, a broken pillar of stone, a boulder shaped like a skull. Finally, a low spike-studded wall. It stretches eastward, bisecting the landscape. Silco vaults it, and Jinx follows.

"Ooh," she gasps.

"You smell it, hm?"

"Water." Jinx's nostrils flare. "Fresh water."

The scent lures them downhill. The gradient becomes steeper. Ahead, a copse of petrified trees stands out against the horizon. They are the bleached white of old bone, and gnarled as a witch's hands. Beyond, the earth slopes into a hollow. A stream unfurls, a narrow ribbon of blue. It flows into a deep curvature, the banks lined with cattails. The water is aquamarine, and gleams mirror-like. On the surface, placid; below, Silco knows it is full of secret riptides and unyielding currents.

If he and Jinx keep on their path, hugging the shoreline, they will soon cross into the first flagstaff of industry: the surreal nighttime landscape of pipes and twirling exhaust smoke from Zaun's refineries.

The waters on that side run black and scaly with pollutants. But here, the basin is littered not with broken glass and dead bones, but with eggshell-smooth pebbles and swaying weeds. A broken trestle—all ragged iron girders and concrete, as if chewed off by giant teeth—juts halfway over the shoreline.

The same spot Silco and Vander used to leap off of on blistering afternoons, the air shimmering with humidity and turning the Undercity into a hothouse.

"Whoa," Jinx breathes. "This place is a gem."

"Vander and I thought so too." He points to the trestle. "We once risked broken necks to climb that thing."

"Yeah?"

"On sunny days, we'd jump in to cool off. It was always the temperature of bathwater at the shore. A good spot to wash the grit out of our clothes."

Jinx follows his finger to the trestle with her eyes. "Is the water deep?"

"Sixty feet at most."

"Good enough."

"What—?"

She rounds on him, snatching his hand in both her own, prancing backwards in front of him. "I wanna swim!"

"It will be twilight soon."

"That's happy time for us."

She tugs him with the steam of ten girls. Silco finds himself swept along in her imperious grip. Yet her momentum is its own magic. The pebbles feel like cotton candy beneath his feet; the wind sings like windchimes in his ears. This is the sorcery his Jinx weaves. Wreathed in the mania popping off her, he finds an answering zest surfacing from his own depths: the sharp-eyed and raw-boned sumpsnipe who grew up half-feral on Topside's scraps. The one who secretly cheers every time Jinx sets off a bomb; the one who soundlessly applauds everytime she kills the killjoys.

Everything he is, so is she—magnified tenfold. The lasered focus of his own passions struck through a prism, and fractaling into a thousand rainbow sparks.

The train trestle curves in a stump over the sloshing waters. The nailed rungs are even creakier than Silco remembers. Some are rotting; others missing entirely. Jinx picks her way across them in a sprightly game of hopscotch. Silco follows more slowly, a measured side-to-side. The trestle's reflection quivers in the deepening blueness of the water. The shallows are still as clear as in his and Vander's heyday.

Jinx cocks her head, "What's that?"

Through the glassy pane of water, Silco glimpses a dark whiplike shape. A deepwater fish. Sickle-jawed and predatory, it spans as large as two grown men. Almost sensing their scrutiny, it crests for a moment. Its dorsal fin slices like a blade through the surface. Between needle teeth, Silco sees a clotted bolus of mangled meat. A riverbird caught in its jaws.

Jinx eyes the creature with fascination. "Pretty!"

"It's from the Deep."

"Why's it out here?"

"Winter sleep."

"Huh?"

"As the temperatures drop, river life goes dormant. Especially the fish and amphibians. They gravitate to the deeper pools and subside into a kind of torpor. They rouse with the season's change, warming up as the water does. This one must have been swept downriver by the rains. Now it's trapped in the oxbow."

"So it's by its lonesome."

Jinx's body radiates an antsy subterranean thrum. Silco recognizes it. He sets a hand on her shoulder. "Child, these creatures are territorial. Better to—"

He may as well be blowing bubbles. Jinx hops to the farthest edge of the trestle. Kicks off her boots, and shimmies off her jacket. Puff-Puff hits the planks with a dull clank. The riverside breeze raises gooseflesh on her bare arms. Her tattoos, in the dying daylight, are stained to the faded blue of ink smudges. The choppy ends of her hair ruffle as if under invisible fingers. Smiling, she raises her hands, her body arrowing itself.

Squealing—"Whooo-hooo!"—she leaps into the water.

"Jinx!"

There is no splash when she lands. Only soft-spreading ripples. Instinctually, Silco hurries to the trestle's edge. He pictures the sharp-mawed fish lunging at her in a fit of fury. That's what predators are hardwired to do. One can't expect them to behave otherwise.

Or expect Jinx to.

Bubbles helix along the waterline. Giggling, Jinx surfaces like a mermaid. Wet hair clings to her skull. She thrusts triumphant devil horns into the sky. Astonishingly, the fish doesn't attack her. Gliding along the river bank, its eye glows redly. But it stays at an arm's length. Two predators sharing the same shore.

Jinx skims deeper into the oxbow before turning to wave at him.

"C'mon, Silly!"

"Jinx, get back up here."

"Make me!"

She dives and disappears. The fish flicks its tail and disappears too. Secondhand sunrays fill the slack water in sparkling emerald curtains. Above, Silco imagines the night circling like a low-flying vulture. Below, he imagines death the same way. Holding its breath. Waiting to break the evening's skin.

"Jinx?"

Five seconds. Ten. Twenty.

"Jinx!"

Silco lets his boot and coat drop on the trestle beside Jinx's belongings. In an eyeblink, he's shot into the river.

The first icy kiss makes him gasp. Then he's plunging below the surface, disorientation bleeding into the opposite. Water is his refuge, after all. Soft, secret, sinister. Ready to envelop him as soon as he steps into it. The world melts to a muted dreamland. Sunlight slants in the thinnest prismatic bands. He glimpses the whiskery darting shapes of catfish. The somnolent sway of river stalks in the silt.

No Jinx.

His lungs throb—airless panic. Kicking, he spears through the water's surface. He floats, gasping raggedly, his good eye slicing left and right.

"Jinx—where the hell are you?!"

Then he sees her.

Like a mythical sprite, she ascends with the deepwater fish. Her small hand is caught in its scales; her body flows in tandem. Moving like liquid, like luminosity, like lightning. The fish thrashes, doubling on her, intent on tossing her off. Its scythelike jaws snap, the promise of power turned to violence.

Jinx is undaunted.

Between one breath and the next, she's caught hold of the fish's dorsal fin. The beast jacknifes, droplets flying, tail whipsawing. Jinx has already leapt astride its back. Her silhouette is so incongruously small. A pixy riding a sleek ballistic torpedo. Yet her body is electric with glee. Hair wild, teeth bared, eyes a-glitter.

Caught together, she and the fish roll through the river; every half turn sends her under, and she surfaces each time spitting water and laughing. Letting the big fish tire itself out, a primordial clash of wills beautified into a ballet. Both hands gripping its sturdy fin, legs squeezing its flanks, until the beast stops spinning and submerging, trying to subdue her.

Impossible to try.

That's what Silco loves about her.

Evening is falling cool and edged with distant stars. An effervescent haze hangs over the water. Silco floats at a distance, and begins to smile. His earlier panic is gone.

Jinx is strong. She can handle herself.

She can handle anything.

By the time he cuts a gliding stroke toward her, the mysterious fish is subdued to a sullen trance. Up close, the iridescent cupola of the sky limns the contours of its scales: traceries of multicolor blurring into blackness, Silco glimpses his reflection—inked tendrils of hair, bladelike nose, mismatched stare—in the eerie red convex of its eyeball.

Jinx giggles. "Lookie. I made a friend."

She is sprawled languidly on the broad curve of the fish's back. Fading spears of sunlight quiver around her in the twilight. Her small hand plays along the fish's flank, a caress, a claiming.

When Silco meets her eyes, she beams. She always loves to show off to him.

Reaching out, he traces his fingertips along the fish's snout. A texture sharp as fiberglass and yet smooth as sandblasted stone. Its mouth yawns open to reveal daggered teeth, rows upon rows. The outward ring is blunted from age. Not a small-fry; this creature has seen brighter shores and better days.

Same as him.

"Who'd grow old, eh?" he murmurs.

"Not me," Jinx singsongs.

"No, never you."

Eternal and exasperating. That is Jinx in a nutshell. Like catching the tail of a comet, and letting it drag you at velocities that defy description, beyond time. And yet the awe is enveloped by a shocky tendresse, because the comet wears the costume of an ordinary girl. Her tears streaked in contrails; her heart a pulsing ember of stardust.

How does one prove a worthy father to such a child?

Where does a cunning, crooked, callous man like him even begin?

He swims abreast of the fish. Jinx rides on its back. Their paired shadows are a rippled distortions along the river-shore. The fish slices along like a guillotine blade. Silco keeps pace with it, momentum spun with a sinuous scissoring of his legs. Jinx lazes on the fish's back, arms and legs outflung, eyes half-lidded.

"Didn't know you could swim so good," she says.

"I enjoyed swimming as a boy."

"Sure ya won't born with gills?"

Silco smiles without mirth. "Vander used to ask the same thing."

"Well, were ya?"

"Some things are just in the blood. They come naturally." He lays a palm along the fish's side, an inch from Jinx's starfished hand. "It's the same with your gift for tinkering."

Her smile fades. "Gift. Sure."

"It is a gift, Jinx." This time his smile is almost wistful. "Nobody taught you to make magic out of the Hex-gem. Or build guns from garbage. Not anyone in the Lanes. Not a professor at the Academy. You simply knew. I've seen it time and time again. You're the real thing. The rest of us are caught up in the nitty gritty of solving life's puzzles. Not you. You tap into your power intuitively."

Jinx's eyes dip, two softly-doused fireflies.

The fish carves a graceful arc through the searing blues of the river. The horizon is lit up with the otherworldly glow that presages nightfall. In the distance, the interconnected neon lights of Zaun are a living jewel box. Silco's jewel-box. His nexus of power.

And yet without Jinx, it may as well be an abyss, his body suspended in its center, empty-hearted and empty-handed.

Quietly, Jinx says, "We should take it home with us."

"What?"

"The fishy." Jinx pets its flank. "It could swim in the balcony pool."

"And keep you company, I wager."

"Only 'cause you're too busy now."

Something jerks in Silco's chest, a shark caught on a barbed hook.

"Jinx…"

The last embers of sunlight leech from the sky. Droplets fall in silvering streaks down Jinx's cheeks. Water—or tears. She saws an arm across her eyes, and looks straight ahead. Her profile is pensive.

"Would it be so bad if—?"

"If?"

"We stayed out here?"

"It will be chilly soon."

"No, I mean... out here forever. Just us."

The shoreline is overhung with vaporous shadows. The fish makes for the deeper currents, subtle strokes belying a keen sense of hunger. It is a night-feeder, Silco guesses. He keeps pace with it. With Jinx.

It has been years since he's had an evening such as this. No deadline beyond the sun and its ambit. No schemes or strategems or subterfuge. Only silence, sky, shadow. The world is nothing else, but there is no need to look beyond Jinx, for she is the center of it all.

A treasure worth a nation.

Silco whispers, "Is that what you want?"

"If it was?"

He makes a sound between a sigh and a chuckle. "We'd have to leave it all behind. This thing of ours. The crew. Home. Everything."

"But we'd have a fresh start. Without all this—all the rules and laws and expectations." Her smile is a bittersweet slice. "We could go to Bilgewater? I'd commandeer us a ship. We'd call it, um—"

"Schrödinger's Cat?"

"Pfffff. You can't name a ship after a cat. Even I think that's a jinx."

"What then?"

She ponders a moment, then snaps her fingers, "Ooh, I know! We'd call it the Maidenless!"

"Why?" Silco deadpans. "No wenches?"

"Ah, quit it!" She flicks water at him. "If I leave the naming to you, it'd get saddled with something lame like Scylla and Charybdis. Or The Megalodon."

"I'm fond of megalodons."

"Too obvious."

Silco gives it a moment's thought. "How about… Şahmaran? Like the Zhyunian myth?"

Contemplatively, Jinx's little hand caresses the fish's scaly flank. "Hmm. I like it. The SS Şahmaran. With Captain Silco and First Mate Jinx. We'd find ourselves a crew from Buhru. They worship snake-y stuff there, don't they? And I hear they're good with blades. We'd sail across Runeterra, and make ourselves a literal killing in the gunpowder trade. Maybe I could design and sell Hex-cannons—"

"Not Hex-harpoons?"

"No long-range booms," she says. "Anyway, cannons are more fun."

Silco hides a grin. There's his girl.

"All right," he says. "The SS Şahmaran. Our emblem would be a woman with a sea-serpent's tail. We'd outfit our vessel with long-range cannons to cut through the hulls of even Noxian warships like butter. We'd also have small motor-powered skiffs that could attack galleons in swarms. We'd plunder them for treasure, of course. But our biggest treasure would be ransoms from abducting the seamen from insured Demacian and Topside vessels. Afterward, we'd pay our crewmen in gold nuggets instead of coinage, so they couldn't be traced by any government or guild."

Jinx gives a sideways smile of respect. "Always two steps ahead, ain’t ya?"

"If we're going to be pirates, we ought to do it right."

"Does that mean there'd be grog, too?"

"Naturally."

"And wenches?"

"At port, sailors will do what they will."

"I mean for me?"

Silco's palm rests on Jinx's knee, lingering dangerously close to her tickle-spot. "Settle for a talking parrot."

She shivers and giggles. "Maybe someday."

"You mean the parrot?"

Her eyes go guilelessly round. "Suuuuuure. Who else?"

They float across the surface, their bodies mirrored by the water. Jinx reaches out a tentative finger to trace the outline of Silco's unscarred cheek against the seeping dusk.

"I know," she says with a sigh, "it's all just pretty prattle. But think about it? We'd be… free."

"Zaun is free."

"I mean a different free. You could be yourself. I could be myself. We could be whoever we wanted. Or just be us."

Silco hears the tremor of uncertainty in her voice. Guilt knots in his own bones. Free. That is what Zaun symbolizes. A chance to live their own lives away from Piltover. Away from shame and subjugation. That is why they fought. Why they suffered and broke and bled.

Bloody Sunday. The Day of Ash.

Now the dream has birthed itself into life. And with life, there are responsibilities. A clean slate with a fine print.

Freedom comes with no wings, but strings attached.

Silco says, voice low. "You could be yourself in Zaun."

"I can't."

"You can. I'll make sure of it."

Jinx blinks wetly and shakes her head. "I thought so too. I thought…"

"What?"

"I thought it would be over."

"Like a new chapter?"

"Like a bad dream." Jinx's lower-lip quivers; she catches it between her teeth, "The ghosts. The voices. The past. After Vi went away, I thought I could too. I thought that everything would go away with the Bridge."

Silco puts his fingers on Jinx's cheek. The water drips down her hair, onto his hand.

"The past never goes away, child."

"I know."

"You know, but you don't."

Jinx's eyes seek his. He meets her bemused stare, the pale angles of his face melting into a darkly-patient smile. "Despite your being seventeen and through a hundred stripes of hell, your world is still open-ended. Forwards and backwards. You can look to the past and remember only the hurts. Or you can take them as lessons. A vow to be stronger. To never let something—someone—hold you back. Armed with the knowledge, you walk forward…"

"But never forget?"

"Exactly. You learn to break patterns. Stop living in the shadow of your own limitations."

Jinx smiles. But the sad gloss remains in her eyes. "Easy for you to say."

"Is it?"

"You get whatever you want."

"I wasn't born with the tools to forge my dreams, Jinx. It took grit and sweat and blood to shape me. You know that." He smooths back her wet hair, the cool touch a counterpoint to his warm tone. "It's different with you. Once you know what you want, you go after it without stopping. Like you did with the Hex-gem. Like you did just now. Calling this creature to heel without a second thought. Your fears are no different. You just have to trust yourself. Let your instincts guide you."

A frown digs between Jinx's brows. "What if it's still all black?"

"Sometimes the things that burn the brightest can't be born except in blackness. Stars are only beautiful because the sky is so deep and dark, right? It's the same for people. Sometimes they can only find their light in dark places. They only know themselves once they cross to the other side."

"Other side?"

"Past the edge of despair."

"What if I fall over?"

"You won't." His palm cradles Jinx's head. The touch is as steadying as his tone. "I'll be right there. I promise."

Tears slide from the corners of Jinx's eyes, Shimmer-stained. But her eyes burn with a cleansing fire. After a moment, she smooths a hand along the fish's flank, then slides off and into the water.

As soon as she lets go, the creature ripples as if out of a dream. Its snout angles, the seam of its mouth parting to expose the glint of pointed teeth. Silco and Jinx stare into its huge eye. Deep red, a replica of Silco's own left eye and Jinx's paired ones. A strange sense of recognition passes. In the next eyeblink, the fish dips below the surface in a graceful sweep, bubbles churning in its wake.

It fades within the oxbow's dark mirror. Silco and Jinx remain. Their reflections align with the dim stars in the curving nightscape.

Two predators sharing the same dreams.

Wiping her cheeks, Jinx smiles. "I had fun playing with him."

"I believe it was a she."

"Yeah?"

"And she'll be here until the rainy season."

Jinx whispers: "What about you?"

"You already know the answer."

She reaches a streaming hand, and he takes it. They twine fingers; two different sets of calluses fitting together. She tugs him close until their foreheads touch.

She whispers, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry?"

"About running away. The blackguards. The blast. Sorry for all the mess."

"Ssh. It's finished, my lovely."

A small sound escapes her, a tiny gasp like a sob. "I might... might need some help gettin' my head back on straight."

"I'll give it," he says simply, "until the end of my days."

He is rewarded with smile: lip-bitten and trembly.

"My hair too," she goes on. "I could use a makeover."

Silco's lips touch the blue strands clinging wetly to her temple. The ruined fringe makes her resemble a sea urchin. Some of it sticks up in unruly spikes, and the rest rasps jaggedly at the edges.

So many years of braiding and bonding. Gone, all of it gone.

He thinks of how long it took to accustom himself to his changed face. His new face. The scars he accepts now as the price of survival. The brand of the change-bearer. The man nobody dares to look in the eye. The man who cannot undo his past; only walk forward with the knowledge that what he lost was never the sum of what he truly is.

Jinx is different. What she's lost is so much worse. But it isn't irreversible. Hair grows back. Hearts heal. Hope can rise from ashes. She will never have the same carefree naivety of a child in a different city. But she will have the choice to stand proud and walk tall in her own.

A phoenix come home to roost.

"I'll smooth out the edges," he promises. "Give you the Hellion Cut."

"What's that?"

"It's how they'd cut our hair at Hölle. The boys and girls. Bangs straight across. Like pages in a Demacian court."

"You think I could pull it off?"

"As you do everything else."

Jinx passes her arms around his neck, her cheek against his, scars to smoothness. The sweetest physical solace. They are both buoyant under the surface: an intimate medium between body and spirit. That's the magic of water. It leaves nothing but the essentials behind.

An embrace in the empty air of the real world is so much more loaded with complications.

And the older Jinx grows, the more complicated it becomes. It must happen, and how can you end it, with no watery medium to keep you together, only the awkward falling-away, out of a kiss or off a cliff, out of the corner of your eye, out of sight and mind?

It will happen. Someday. Eventually.

But not yet.

Not yet.

"Thanks, Silly," she whispers.

"For what?"

"Bein' here. Telling me all the stories. Brightenin' up my day." She nuzzles close. "I'd be too scared in the dark."

Silco knows she doesn't mean the literal dark. But, in that same darkness, he finds the right words. "We'll go on together."

"Promise?”

“To the moon and back." Gently, he detaches. "Come home, Jinx."

Jinx nods. Her hands knots with his: he can feel her succumbing to the seduction of trust. Nectar on her tongue. Heat in her gut. Water on her skin. The past months, she's phased in and out of life, sometimes rocking forward and other times falling back into the fugue of old misery.

Silco needs to keep her from relapsing. Keep her in the same world he's in—but sweeter, warmer, safer. A place where reality doesn't split, and the skies don't bleed fire.

Where the specters in her head aren't real.

He tugs her away the depths, a mermaid's fairytale in reverse. Their shadows trail like eel-tongues across the rippling surface. On dry land, gooseflesh pebbling their skins, they wring the riverwater from their garments. Then, wordless, they dress and continue to hike through the shifting night.

The cold is a satisfying ache. Taking Silco's hand, Jinx swings their linked arms in a slow arc.

"Hey—Silco?"

"Hm?"

"When we get home, am I still...?"

"What?"

Jinx bites her lip; feigning coy. "Am I still grounded?"

"Abso-bloody-lutely."

The night is pricked with stars.

In the distance, Zaun is a beckoning bonfire. Silco and Jinx drift toward it, side by side. The rough path travels along the swale of oxbows before yielding to the swift-running Pilt. As they draw nearer to the city limits, Jinx takes Silco's hand again.

Her fingers tremble; he squeezes them until they steady.

Stealing a glance, he finds her staring down at her boots, then up at the sky. Her expression is half-lidded and strangely empty. Not in a hollow way. More as if she's been swept clean. Still, he'll have to watch her closely the next few days. The calm is no guarantee that another meltdown isn't around the corner.

Yet he finds himself grateful, too. The Deadlands—half-graveyard, half-garden—have served their use. Nourished Jinx's spark; buried her hurts. Not forever, and not entirely. But enough to carry her forward. Or, at the very least, to carry her home.

And not a moment too soon.

Because the sooner they get home, the less Silco dreads the locus of pain in his left temple, as the Shimmer-dose fades and the ache begins. A dull pulse at first, then the pulse will become a pounding, and the pounding a drillsaw of red-hot pain that will carve through his skull and deliquesce his brain. His bad eye will begin seeping blood. His senses will go haywire. He will be non-verbal in six hours, and hallucinating in eight. At that point, his survival will be down to a toss of the coin.

Without Shimmer, he'll be dead within twelve.

It's a reminder: today was no grace period, but a close shave.

He is always on borrowed time.

Especially when it comes to the biggest issue. The crux of Jinx's every meltdown. The hinge of his every lie.

Vi.

She is dangerous to Jinx's well-being. Physically; emotionally. Her specter is enough to send Jinx into a downspiral. How much worse if she meets Jinx face-to-face?

Silco cannot allow it. The next few weeks are crucial. His bargain with Medarda will be sealed with the Peace Treaty. One that is a true catalyst for Zaun's success, rather than a noose around its neck. Surrounding the Treaty will be a hundred loose ends and bared necks, which he must tie together into a knot—then pull at the right moment to secure the whole bloody thing.

Until then, Vi must be kept alive. Kept close.

Afterward?

Silco's fingers are threaded with Jinx's. He tightens his grip.

Jinx says: "We've got company."

"Hm?"

She points with her free hand. Silco spots a pin of smoke wafting through the air. They cross a graveled road, following the smoke. Silco keeps Vander's knife at close range. Jinx cocks Puff-Puff. It is not uncommon for smugglers to lay low in the Deadlands. Best to stay on guard.

Bestow a warm welcome.

In the distance, a fire crackles. Six blackguards—playing hooky despite the Code Blue—sit in a self-satisfied ring. Bottles of beer are passed over the flames. One guard smokes a joint as fat as a baby's arm. Two others are on their knees, having a go with a whore: one getting head while the other pounds her from the rear.

Jinx rubbernecks for a closer look. Eyebrow crooked, Silco pirouettes his finger. She grumbles and turns away. She's a child of Zaun. She's grown up in the thick of vice, without a scrap of shame. But Silco prefers to observe a modicum of propriety. In spirit of fatherhood, if nothing else.

He says, "Evening, gentlemen."

Four blackguards turn. The other two carry on plowing the whore. Lust is a myopic beast. As it is, Silco doubts they recognize him. He and Jinx are scruffy from their downriver journey. Silco's hair is an ungroomed tangle. Jinx's trademark braids are missing. They are both dressed like grubby travelers.

Like prey.

On cue, the blackguards exchange nasty smiles. Two pairs intercept Silco and Jinx on either side. One sets a gloved hand on Silco's shoulder. The other juts his gun under Jinx's breasts at an obscene angle.

"Evening, granddad," one guard says. "Where're you off to?"

"Business in the city."

Jinx unrolls a sticky-sweet smile. "And a lightshow after."

The second guard nudges his gun closer. "I can give you a real lightshow, girlie."

"Um? Ewww."

The man licks his lips, circling her slowly. The way he eyes her top to toe makes his intentions blatant. "Your daddy a farmer?" he asks, addressing her backside. "'Cause that little onion's got a sweet hook to it."

"F for Effort, bozo," Jinx snorts. "And my Daddy's right here."

"Yeah? I don't see anybody." He reaches for her arm. "Let's go 'round back, huh? I'll peel you for a little taste."

There's a saying in the Undercity: She can outdraw lightning. It's practically dedicated to Jinx. Nothing outpaces her trigger finger. Between one blink and the next, a weapon can materialize in her palm—and blast a target to shreds.

For once, Silco's blade beats her bullet.

The blackguard feels cold steel bite into his jugular. He blinks, as if thinking it will go away. When it remains angled across his throat, he scowls. "Where'd you get that, Grandpop?"

"I took it off the Hound of the Underground."

The blackguards crack into laughter. They stop when neither Jinx nor Silco join in.

"You did, huh?" the first guard says. "You even know how to use it?"

Ordinarily, Silco doesn't use a knife to threaten. He uses it to kill. But he's in a sporting mood. He nods, and the point of the knife dimples flesh. It opens silkily; a bead of blood rolling. The blackguard curses. Silco tips his chin with undisguised relish. Between tangled hair, his bad eye glows red.

"It's easy," he says. "Like peeling an onion."

Disbelief gives way to recognition. The guards' faces contort. "Chancellor?"

The two men in the background disengage from the whore. One covers his genitals with a heaped bundle of clothes. The other hides behind the squealing girl like a meat-shield. As one, they snap off salutes. "Sir."

"Why aren't you at your posts?"

"On—on break, sir."

"Is that so? Pardon the interruption."

"N-Not at all." The blackguard with the knife at his jugular withdraws his hands off Jinx. His smile is an ingratiating leer. "Haven't had any excitement since the Siege."

Silco doesn't return his smile. "I'm certain you'll find plenty here."

"Sir—?"

Silco's rage—that lidded pot of ichor perpetually set on a low simmer—keeps bubbling. His patience is the only thing keeping it from popping off the stove. "Is this how you greet all travelers? Or only those without a passphrase?"

"Pass—passphrase, sir?"

"Oh, that's right." He angles the blade into the obliging softness of flesh. "There isn't one."

The blackguard yelps. His friends blanch.

"Sir—p-please—"

"No explanation?"

"Please, I meant no offense—"

"Just thought you'd commit one, hm? A good old-fashioned frisk. Or whatever else you call it when rape's not quite de rigueur."

A wet gurgle. "I-I thought you were trespassers, sir."

"Do we look like trespassers?"

"Sir—"

"Lie better, boy. It's why we trained you." Silco jabs the blade deeper. A few drops of blood patter onto the blackguard's boots. "Unless it's Topside's book you're taking a leaf from."

"Sir, please—"

"Please what?"

"D-Don't kill me—"

"Shh." Silco pats the blackguard's cheek with the flat edge of the blade. Blood smears his skin. "Relax."

A tremor shakes the blackguard. "Sir—"

"Did I say 'kill you'? You're making an awful lot of assumptions for a man in your position." He turns to his daughter. "What do you think, Jinx?"

Jinx stands like a steel spring, coiled and deadly. Her eyes glitter. She is looking at Silco as if a stranger has seized control of his operating system. The sense that his skin will split apart at any moment and whatever pushes through will be nothing but knotted rage and teeth and blood.

A look Silco is familiar with. But now it's as if he's seeing double. Jinx with her veneer of flippant menace. Jinx as a weapon with no trigger—only a blindness that leads her straight into her own blackout.

Violence is her element. It is also her torment.

Last night, he'd witnessed its starkest depths.

Silco bites his tongue, severing the rage rising up. His edged tone evens. "What's your name, boy?"

"Davis, sir. Davis Trello. Please—"

In a single movement, Silco withdraws Vander's knife and stows it back in his boot. "I'm not going to kill you, Trello. But I will tell you what's going to happen next."

The blackguard snaps to attention.

"You're going to walk thirty paces eastward. You're going to draw your weapon. You're going to count to a hundred. Then you're going to shoot yourself in the head."

Terror twists the blackguard's face. "Sir—"

"Do that, and you die a martyr." Silco smiles, no more than a reflex of jagged teeth. "Else I'll take your martyrdom into my own hands."

"S-sir—"

"Go."

Quaking, the blackguard obeys.

Silco doesn't spare him another glance. Turning, he addresses the two men cringing behind the whore, her arms across her breasts, her hand a figleaf over her groin. One of them has managed to drag on his trousers. The other is hastily buttoning up his shirt. "You lot. Where is your motorcar?"

One blackguard points. "Behind the hillside, sir."

"We will be taking it."

"Yes, sir."

"And your supplies."

"Yes, sir."

"Out of the way. Now."

The blackguards peel away. Silco and Jinx stroll past, as if their appearance is the ordinary summation of an ordinary day. The motorcar waits by the roadside. Silco opens the door for Jinx to climb in, before rounding to slide into the driver's seat. In the rearview mirror, the blackguards stand in a stupefied circle.

Further off, blackguard Trello kneels by the roadside, pistol kissing his own temple.

A kiss that lingers.

And lingers.

Silco's bitten-down rage becomes a spring-loaded trigger. Snatching Puff-Puff from Jinx's belt, he shoulders his torso halfway out of the car.

Takes aim.

Fires.

The slug rips through the night and slams into the blackguard. He topples, a hole bursting open at the corner of his skull. His brains spill like an oil slick in the firelight. Not a dignified way to die, but he's dead regardless. The remaining blackguards cower. The whore shrieks hysterically.

Silco snaps, "Back to your posts!"

"S-sir!"

One blackguard seizes the howling whore by the arm. He yanks her along, almost dragging her by the heels. Together, they flee the hill.

Silco returns Puff-Puff to Jinx's lap, before turning the ignition. The motorcar cuts a U-turn and pulls out. He drives the same way he does his knifework: a smoothness edged in casual whiplash. Keeping the wheel steady with two fingertips, he fiddles with the dashboard: adjusting the air-conditioning so no air blows into his bad eye, then hitting the radio dial.

No emergency broadcasts on the First Chancellor's disappearance. Either Sevika is holding down the fort—or a secret coup is in progress.

He'll know soon enough.

Silence lapses. Tipping his head back, Silco savors a breath of the night air through the unrolled window. At his side, Jinx is silent. But he is moved to doting at the blue shape of her skull, its chopped alarum of hair fluttering everywhere. She cradles Puff-Puff in her lap. Her fingertips trace it without focus, as if it is a divining rod.

Quietly, she says, "That was a nice shot."

"I was aiming for his jaw."

"Then your aim sucks!"

"For a one-eyed man, I'm good enough."

Jinx says nothing. Her chin drops on her fist; her expression holds an intense stillness that mirrors the Deadlands. When she speaks, it comes from some place nearly as far-off, the words threading through the wind's song.

"Y'know, I could have done that."

"I know how to tune a radio, Jinx."

"I meant—"

Silco's notched lip tightens. "I know."

(A child to do a man's job.)

No more.

He's done sanctioning blood on Jinx's hands. No matter her innate capacity for it. She's suffered enough. For him; for Zaun. Now he'll make sure she has a place in the city. But it won't be in the shadows. If she must live, she must learn to walk among the living.

In the limelight. By his side.

Silco lifts an arm to cup the back of Jinx’s neck. "Keep your gun at hand," he says. "But keep it pointed toward the ground."

"Huh? Why?"

"Because bombs and bullets did the trick." He squeezes her nape. "Now I want you to aim higher."

Jinx's left knee jiggles. Her perturbed eyes flit beneath spiky lashes. "Like where?"

"To the moon and back."

They trade brief smiles. But once they hit the road, Jinx grows quiet again. Beneath her puckish moue, Silco sees the old uncertainty. They're both light-headed on leftover adrenaline, Jinx is far from settled in herself or in her new role in Zaun, a fact that is playing hell with Silco's own nerves and his future stratagems. And yet in this moment he is unaccountably glad, because his child is back.

Back in her rightful place.

Deliberately, he says, "You'll be all right, Jinx."

"Yeah?"

"You can do this. We can—and we will."

Jinx gives him wobbly smile. "I'll try."

"I'll be counting on you."

"And crossin' your fingers?"

"What for?"

"Unjinxing the jinxing."

Silco's voice softens with pride. "I wouldn't dream of it."

Jinx pounces into his arms. Her body holds the rich heavy scent of deepwater, intermixed with motes of her own natural sweetness. The brightest life blossoming from her pores. The purest hope. Her fingertips trace little doodles against his shirtfront.

XOXO.

Silco keeps her cradled close, one arm around her and the other at the wheel, his cheek nestled gratefully in the blue heap of her hair.

The embrace lasts until Zaun's skyline peaks—and multicolored neon engulfs the darkness.

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