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gayfanboyfred · 1 month ago

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The Honor of Loving You

Sparrow Swift was at Belethor's General Goods selling off the spoils from his most recent escapades clearing out yet another bandit encampment. Jesper and Lydia were there as well with everything they'd been tasked to carry back to town for their thane.

While the dragonborn was pulling out this and that and Belethor was half distracted inspecting it all, Jesper piped up.

“Oh, Belethor,” he began a little awkwardly.

“About that amulet of Mara I bought from you-” he paused, steeling himself. Trying to pretend Lydia wasn't in the room with them.

“It's not working,” he eventually said. “Maybe it's defective?”

Sparrow Swift's ears and whiskers twitched. “Defective?” he asked quizzically. “Is the enchantment not working? This one has been working on his enchantment skills. Perhaps this one may be able to help, yes?”

“The um- the restoration enchantment still works but-”

“Ah, this one understands. You speak of a secondary enchantment. This one hasn't quite managed that intricate of enchanting.”

“He means that he's still alone despite wearing the amulet for a month straight,” Lydia explained, annoyed he'd bring it up in her presence.

“That's a bit of a harsh way of phrasing it, but,” Belethor chuckled to himself, “not inaccurate.”

“This one doesn't understand. Why would an amulet find your heart for you?”

“You don't know about Skyrim's marriage traditions do you, my furry friend?” Belethor laughed.

“This one isn't your friend,” Sparrow Swift snapped, baring his teeth. “But you are correct. This one knows not of the marriage customs of this frozen land.”

“In Skyrim, the amulet of Mara is an open invitation to any that wish to propose to the wearer. Wearing one signifies that you're open to new love and ready for marriage, should the right person ask,” Lydia explained.

“Interesting. But this one prefers to find his heart on his own. He would feel humiliated if he approached one wearing such an amulet and was rejected.”

“So now you know how I feel to learn that no one is even the slightest bit interested-” Jesper began.

“Ah, yes. That is upsetting to learn. To think Skyrim is populated by blind fools,” Sparrow Swift cut him off, suddenly quite annoyed.

“What makes you say that?” Belethor said with a raised eyebrow and an edge to his tone.

“Well, they are all of them overlooking an absolute catch. Kind, sweet, funny, and friendly. With a good singing voice and an amiable personality. It baffles the mind that you haven't found a wife, or been made one for that matter.”

“Oh!” Jesper blurted out, even more shocked than he let on. “Well, thank you, dragonborn. I- that- it feels good to hear that.” He scratched his neck under his helmet. “But that doesn't really help me, I guess.”

Lydia laughed. “Of course not!”

“Why are you so cruel to him?” Sparrow Swift asked, tail twitching irritably.

“What?” Lydia replied, taken aback.

“First you break his heart. Then you flirt badly with others in front of him. Now you poke fun at his misfortune,” Sparrow Swift accused. “This one doesn't understand.”

“Flirting badly!? What do you mean?” Lydia snapped.

“This one means that you are bad at flirting. And also bad at reading people and taking rejection. This one hopes you can eventually grow up a bit and have more respect and maturity regarding matters of the heart.”

Lydia wanted to say many venomous things but held her tongue. He was still her boss. What's more, he was her thane and the dragonborn of legend. She was his subordinate. She used to feel pride in that fact. No longer.

“If that's done, this one would like to sell some of his spoils,” Sparrow Swift said with finality.

“Music to my ears,” Belethor grinned.

Jesper stood back by the door, watching the others. Hearing the dragonborn's praise made his face and ears feel hot and his stomach flip. Hearing him come to Jesper's defense only made those feelings more intense. He couldn't quite explain it. Couldn't quite place the feeling. It felt strangely good though.

Later that night, Sparrow Swift came by his room at the Bannerd Mare. The glare he usually wore was different somehow. Jesper couldn't tell if it was softer or harder. Maybe both somehow.

“Jesper, dear friend. Sparrow Swift has something he must ask you,” he said, voice low and growly.

“Oh, uh, sure, dragonborn. What do you need?”

The burly khajiit winced. “Sparrow Swift would prefer you not use any of his titles for the rest of the conversation. They're too impersonal for the matters this one wishes to discuss.”

“Ookaayy,” Jesper said suspiciously.

“Upon learning about Skyrim's marriage traditions, this one had much to think about. The traditions this one is used to involve a long courting period. This one had no idea you were looking for love, for your heart as this one’s culture would say.” The khajiit took a deep steadying breath. “This one has long admired you, Jesper. Ever since first meeting you, just downstairs, all those many nights ago. This one has been keeping his feelings to himself however. For he believed you were not ready to move on from- from Lydia.”

His eyes were definitely softer now. Maybe because his pupils were more dilated. More roundish.

“This one is very sorry for what she did. The how she left and the why. This one believes she wanted freedom to pursue him. It has happened before. This one is truly very sorry if that is the case. You deserve much better than that. You deserve someone to cherish you. Someone who delights in your presence. Not just tolerates it.��

He got down on his knees in front of Jesper. Looking up at him with the roundest eyes Jesper's ever seen on a khajiit.

“Would you allow this one the chance to be that person for you? Would you allow this one the honor of courting you?”

Jesper felt his stomach drop. This had to be a trick. There's no way this was real.

But he was on his knees! Looking up with those pleading eyes. Jesper's never seen his eyes do anything but glare. Like he's angry at the whole world.

But not Jesper? At least not at the moment. He seemed so genuine. He always seemed pretty genuine but even more so now.

“I- uh,” he stammered. He didn't want to miss this shot like he lost out with Hulda.

“If this is too much pressure to answer immediately, this one understands. He did just admit to quite a bit. He understands if you need time to process,” Sparrow Swift said, averting his eyes.

“I admit this all feels so sudden,” Jesper said awkwardly. “It wasn't all that long ago that Keith had to convince me you didn't hate me.”

“Sudden?” Sparrow Swift chuckled, almost bitterly. “The nords' idea of marriage sounds quite sudden to this one as well. But this one regrets there ever was such a misunderstanding between you and himself. He will have to thank Keith for clearing it up but it pains him to know it occurred at all.” He seemed to be deflating the more Jesper stalled.

“It was pretty much entirely my fault,” Jesper said, still not ready to face the music. “I made some uncharitable assumptions about your motivations. And you were always glaring at me and standing really close. And always stopped whatever you were doing to glare at me while I hummed or sang to myself. I thought you hated my singing voice honestly,” he blabbered with an awkward chuckle.

“This one regrets that you ever thought such things. Your singing is one of your most wonderful traits.”

“Oh, well thank you dr- Sparrow Swift,” Jesper said, snapped out of his spiral by the sudden praise. “I gotta admit I don't really know what this courting period would entail,” he said sheepishly.

“It is a chance for lovers to show each other what they have to offer to the relationship should it become more long term, like a marriage. It is a tradition rooted in boasting status but has evolved somewhat to a safeguard against unhappy marriages,” Sparrow Swift explained. “This one can't fathom being unhappily wed to you.” He sighed. “But it feels wrong to skip ahead to that stage. To miss out on all the memories that could be made between.”

“Love in Skyrim is usually on a much quicker timeline,” Jesper said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“But you don't love this one. Not yet,” Sparrow Swift said.

“I-” Jesper faltered. “I guess you're not wrong. I do feel..something for you. I don't really know what to call it.”

“You do not have to give it a name. This one believes he understands regardless. Those feelings would continue to grow and develop over the courting period. By the time of the wedding, if all is as it should be, you will know for certain that you love this one.”

“I- that sounds kinda nice actually. I always imagined I'd be marrying my true love,” he chuckled softly to himself. “I guess I lost sight of that along the way.”

“Heartbreak can do that to you. You thought Lydia was it. That you'd be together for the rest of your lives. It can be quite overwhelming when that all falls apart.”

“I- yeah,” Jesper sighed. “It still hurts to think about honestly,” he said with an awkward chuckle.

“Yes,” Sparrow Swift nodded. “It'll be long before that passes. Sometimes people hurt you so deeply that even the memory leaves a scar on your heart. That is why this one kept his affections to himself. He wanted to give you time to heal. It is difficult accept love from someone new when your heart is still hemorrhaging love for another.”

Jesper chuckled. “Y'know, that's a very apt way of putting it.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I- I guess I'd like to try your courting idea. I'm sure it won't take long for me to- to fall in love with you. You're already pretty amazing.”

“This one would be honored to court you, Jesper,” Sparrow Swift said with a wide smile. “May he take your hand please?”

Jesper held out his hand, confused but interested. Sparrow Swift took it in his own and kissed the back of his knuckles.

“This one would like to swear an oath of fealty to you, Jesper. It is not necessary for the courting period but it would steady this heart to make intentions known.”

“An oath of fealty? That seems like a bit much, don't you think?” Jesper said nervously, gently pulling his hand away. “Isn't that like knights and kings and stuff?”

“Famously, yes,” Sparrow Swift said. “But this one has always admired that dedication. That clearness of intention. Absolute devotion in its purest form.” His eyes softened. “This one has never had anything he'd pledge himself to in such a way. Nothing short of his heart's truest desire.”

“And I'm your heart's truest desire?”

“Yes,” Sparrow Swift said, so matter of factly Jesper couldn't really argue with him. He still tried.

“Are you sure?”

“Does this one need to repeat what he said in Belethor's store today? Perhaps with more detail since there are no antagonistic witnesses.”

“Why'd you say it like that?” Jesper asked suspiciously.

“This one always assumes there's a 45-95% chance that Keith is in the room or at least within earshot. Currently feeling more like 70%. Would be higher but many sweet and genuine sentiments have been shared and this one has heard no groans from the rafters or windowsill.”

“I should probably just assume that too, huh?”

“He does often get bored and eavesdrop on his friends. You and this one are apparently among the most entertaining.”

“Huh,” Jesper mused. “I don't know if I should find that annoying or flattering.”

“This one chooses not to acknowledge how it makes him feel. Other than paranoid about being watched, admittedly.”

Jesper chuckled. “Yeah, I can see that.” He sighed. “What would this oath entail?”

“This one would promise to remain faithful to you for the rest of his days. That you will be under his dedicated protection for the rest of yours. That this one would stand with you against the whole of creation. That you will never hunger for this one will provide. Your cup will never empty for this one will fill it. That sort of thing.”

“Those sound like marriage vows,” Jesper chuckled nervously. He couldn't deny how his chest squeezed tight at those words of promise, nor how his cheeks heated.

“Perhaps you are correct,” Sparrow Swift said thoughtfully. “This one would promise more in his official wedding vows, however.”

“More than all that?” Jesper gawked incredulously.

“This one would promise you the finest cuts of every meal, the sweetest of treats in constant supply, your favorite mead with every meal, the most exquisite gear always in top shape and hand crafted by yours truly. This one would promise you everything within his power to give.”

Jesper felt his heart skip a beat. “Oh, wow!” he gasped, blush deepening. “I guess that is more. I don't really need all that much though. Just someone that I love who loves me back. The rest doesn't really matter.”

Sparrow Swift's eyes softened impossibly more. “Then you are already halfway to bliss. This one loves you very much.”

“And soon I'll be able to say I love you too,” Jesper said with a fond smile. His face felt like it was on fire, and the heat spread to his ears and chest.

“In the morn this one shall begin his attempts to woo you in earnest,” Sparrow Swift promised. He sighed. “But now, it is late. You should return to your bed. Get whatever sleep you can. This one will attempt the same. With any luck, the divines will bless us both with sweet dreams of burgeoning love.”

“I look forward to it, dear,” Jesper said with a grin as he reached out a hand to help Sparrow Swift up. He wasn't expecting it to already feel so natural to call Sparrow Swift such endearments. He couldn't deny how easily it rolled off his tongue though.

Sparrow Swift's ears and whiskers twitched and his eyes almost seemed to sparkle for a moment in the dim candlelight. A grin split across his face at the endearment.

He took Jesper's hand in his own but raised it to his lips to pepper it with kisses. He stood on his own, seemingly misunderstanding the gesture entirely. Jesper couldn't bring himself to pull his hand away. It felt nice being loved.

Sparrow Swift placed on final kiss into Jesper's palm before releasing him. “Sleep well, darling,” he said, voice buzzing with excitement and endearment.

“Sleep well, darling,” Jesper echoed as the khajiit turned to leave. From here he could see the thrill that ran down Sparrow Swift's back. He chuckled softly to himself as he closed his door.

It all felt entirely unreal. This morning he felt hopeless. Now he'd found someone who already loved him? Now he had the dragonborn courting him? How did that just happen?

He went over to the window to watch Sparrow Swift walk home. He had a skip in his step as he trotted over to Breezehome just down the road. He seemed genuinely happy.

Jesper held the hand he'd kissed to his chest. This wasn't love. Not yet. But it won't be long.

He turned and went back to bed. Staring up at the ceiling with anxious excitement buzzing under his skin, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to get to sleep. He got out of bed and grabbed his crochet needles and most recent project, a scarf for Kevin. If he couldn't sleep he could at least crochet his feelings out. Maybe they'd make more sense in an hour or two.

Just outside his window, Keith leaned back against the roof with a self satisfied smile hidden behind his mask. “Fuckin finally,” he chuckled softly to himself. “Lenny owes me 20 septims.”

#this apparently isn't entirely lore compliant as of the most recent video #but i didn't feel like rewriting a large chunk of it so I'm posting it as is #its been in drafts since the very start of the Dave/Hulda subplot #been too anxious to post it for so long #been too anxious to post anything for so long #but Jesper deserves more love #i will endure the horrors of being perceived if it means one person might go watch the series #skyrim guard tales #<- thats the series #jesper the guard #<- that's the bestest boy #Sparrow Swift #<- that's my dragonborn #he won't be in the videos but you should still go watch them :)#the open mic night and the ranbow connection episodes are my favorites #also yes #this whole thing spun out from that one line Jesper says in the follower mod when you're in Belethor's

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