#Race for the RTARLsman

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closing bell: on this day: RTARLsman rankings following the games of week 7, college football season 2018

Football sucks and I hate all of you even more than normal.

Don’t get the wrong impression. It’s not you. It’s Mark Richt. And Malik Rosier. And I guess Thomas Brown but I don’t actually know what he does for his money. Same thing with Jon Richt. Actually, I can tell you that Jon Richt sucks because if he was a good QB coach then I wouldn’t feel like this right now during what should be a happy time: hyping up random college players as I make up mind slowly about which individual one is the best.

1. TUA TAGOVAILOA, QB, Alabama

It’s hard to think of anybody as better than Tua right now as he puts up stats that would look good in Tecmo Super Bowl. Would he be able to do this stuff on another team? No. But he’d still be really good.

2. ED OLIVER, DT, Houston

I told you it wouldn’t take more than one good game for Oliver’s stats to look amazing. And he got that last week. With Nick Bosa quitting, Oliver is no longer the only semi-official draft entrant for 2019. Bosa will get drafted higher than Oliver but he can’t win any trophies this year so who is actually better?

3. DARRELL HENDERSON, RB, Memphis

Yards per carry is down to a paltry 10.3 but he’s still way up in rushing yardage numbers so I guess I’ll leave him up here for now.

4. GARDNER MINSHEW, QB, Washington State

He’s just another Air Raid QB but he’s got a great name and sometimes that’s all I want.

5. DWAYNE HASKINS, QB, Ohio State

He’s in position to make a run at most passing TDs in a single season (currently held by Colt Brennan.) That’s kind of dumb but cool also. Haskins is going to need all of 15 games to get there but is that any stupider than playing in an offense that throws 70 times a game? No. 

6. BRIAN BURNS, EDGE, Florida State

It’s very much not his fault that FSU is a trash pile. Burns is kind of skinny for an NFL EDGE prospect but he might be good enough that it doesn’t matter much. It’s possible he’s just feasting on bad opposition but he looks like a monster when I’ve seen him play.

7. JUWAN FOGGIE, LB, Charlotte

I have no real clue about this kid but I like his name and he used to be a WR before switching to linebacker. And now he is tied for the national lead in interceptions, which sort of makes sense for a former WR even if it’s weird for a LB.

8. GREG DORTCH, WR, Wake Forest

A triple threat! Dortch has good hands and reminds me of the trend around/after Raghib Ismail where every team tried to have a WR that could also line up at RB sometimes and then return kicks. 

9. JUSTIN HERBERT, QB, Oregon

He keeps pushing Oregon to wins after I kept talking about how they were sort of shitty early on. Now I’m jealous of Oregon having Mario Cristobal as their head coach and I want Herbert to go anywhere but the Giants in the draft next year.

10. D.K. METCALF, WR, Mississippi

This is a goodbye. Metcalf is out for the year with a neck injury which might mean that he isn’t even going to get paid next year and that is incredibly sad. Between him and Ahmmon Richards I’d like to extend my deepest sympathies to whichever hapless player becomes my new favorite WR in the country.

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Run to the RTARLsman 2017: Week 6

I really hadn’t planned on Mark Walton breaking his ankle and missing the rest of the season. But he did and he will so there are no longer any Hurricanes on the list. Well, at least for this week.

In happier news for non-SMU fans, Ed Oliver didn’t end up missing any time at all with a knee injury so welcome back to the RTARLsman list, Ed!

1. ED OLIVER, Houston, DT

Oliver has reached mythic proportions in my mind and he basically lives up to this every week. The knee injury slowed him down to only 3 QB hurries and no sacks or TFL against an extremely pass-heavy SMU offense. Still, Houston got turnovers and won. I’m living with my Warren Sapp comparisons until proven otherwise.

2. BRYCE LOVE, Stanford, RB

Stanford played against one of the best run defenses in the country and Love was held completely in check with merely 152 yards on 20 carries. He’s going against an even statistically better rush defense this week with Oregon but there’s something just sort of off about writing that. Still, if he’s held under 10 yards per carry again there’s your context. I wonder how much Love’s Heisman candidacy is tied to his team’s performance but 8-4 Stanford is probably still a top 25 team in December. He’ll make it to NYC but don’t be surprised if some undeserving star on a title contender leaps him in the final voting. Aside from rushing stats, Love definitely leads the country so far in awesome still shots because I had to choose from about 20 awesome pictures just from the Utah game. I think this one looks the most badass.

3. ZACH ABEY, Navy, QB

The nation’s #2 rusher in terms of yards per game, Abey is the next Heisman dark horse for Navy. The Middies basically need to go undefeated for him to even have a shot at making the ceremony but if he runs for 2,000 yards this year then he’s setting up a fake run at the trophy for 2018.

4. SAQUON BARKLEY, Penn State, RB

At one point last week he had 10 carries for -7 yards against Northwestern. I can’t shake this feeling that he’s gonna struggle to adapt to the NFL because he doesn’t know how to set up blocks. Maybe that doesn’t matter anymore now that he can just be a receiver until he develops that skill and maybe the Penn State O-line is really so bad that he doesn’t have a choice for now but it’s most likely that I just hate Penn State so much that I’m looking to puncture his hype balloon just a little bit.

5. JALEEL SCOTT, New Mexico State, WR

I don’t believe I was aware of this catch until this week. This happened in week 1, for what it’s worth. He’s a 6′6″, 215# senior, so look for him next year on the Panthers roster.

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6. SUTTON SMITH, Northern Illinois, EDGE

He’s small and he plays in the MAC but he keeps getting sacks and TFLs and showing up at the top of all the fun defensive stats so I’ll throw his name out there. He’s a RS-SO so I guess we’ve got a couple of years to figure out if he has an actual path to the NFL. Signed as a RB out of high school so he’s probably a decent athlete. Maybe he can be a low rent version of Haason Reddick?

7. BAKER MAYFIELD, Oklahoma, QB

One of several QBs who will end up getting drafted before Sam Darnold. I honestly don’t like Mayfield as a prospect and I was there with everybody else sort of rooting on the Iowa State football team last week but Mayfield’s numbers are outrageous and there are a few voices in the crowd that really like the way he plays and how it projects to the next level. Mayfield leads the nation in one of my favorite dumb stats: points responsible for per game. Yes, that’s an NCAA official stat.

8. ROQUAN SMITH, Georgia, LB

The breakout star of the year on defense, Smith doesn’t really put up stats other than tackles but people absolutely love him and Georgia’s defense has been a killing machine so far this year. I’ve got him as a provisional candidate waiting for me to be bored enough to actually watch a Georgia game all the way through.

9. DEXTER LAWRENCE, Clemson, DT

Lawrence doesn’t put up a ton of numbers in his own right but Clemson is going to just coast to the playoffs on the strength of their front seven and Lawrence is the key to most of it. If he were to go down only three other future top 10 picks would stand between Clemson’s hopes and a merely well-above-average defense. That isn’t the best way to build a case for Lawrence as a top player but he manages to stand out even on that team.

10. RASHAAD PENNY, San Diego State, RB

I considered going another route just for the sake of variance but Penny has been a monster this year and he deserves the publicity.

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Run to the RTARLsman 2017: Week 5

OK, well, this time I think Lamar Jackson is actually out of it. He had a pretty good game up until killing his team’s comeback chances with a back breaking INT that got returned for a touchdown. There is a playbook developing on how to stop Louisville’s offense and even if it isn’t Lamar’s fault that nobody else on that side of the ball can be counted on for much of anything, it takes the fun out of it to know that if you shut down the running game everything goes to shit for the Cardinals.

So that leaves us without RTARL’s two favorite sons this week since Ed Oliver is probably going to sit for at least a week with an injury he suffered on a chop block in the first half of last week’s game. He made one preposterous play before going out but it looks like it’s been scrubbed from twitter now. For shame.

If you’ve stumbled into this lonely corner of internet the rules for the RTARLsman are just who I think are the best players in the country for a given week. I tend to talk a lot about the NFL draft in these writeups because I’m more likely to be excited by what somebody can do than what they have done.

1. BRYCE LOVE, Stanford, RB

Saquon Barkley is all up in the media’s mouth as the Heisman favorite so far but Bryce Love is putting up numbers that suggest to me he’s a more likely winner. I’ve also heard people compare Barkley to Barry Sanders but the parallels, at least from a narrative standpoint, are far more Barry Sandersesque for Love than Barkley. First, obviously, he’s wearing #20 like Sanders did in the NFL (I think he was actually #21 his last year at OK State but that’s not the angle I’m on here.) Second, he’s a first year starter as a junior and he’s on a potential record breaking run. Third, he’s considered an iffy prospect at this point because of his ‘diminutive’ frame. Fourth, the guy he was backing up as a Freshman and Sophomore was a Heisman contender in his own right. Extra points for all the comps I made between Christian McCaffrey and Thurman Thomas over the last couple of years. Further points for being more similar to Barry Sanders than Love and McCaffrey’s former Stanford teammate Barry Sanders, Jr. Fifth, really just look at the fucking stats. They’re outrageous and they should continue to be outrageous barring injury. Love probably won’t run a 4.3 forty at the combine but if he does then get ready for me to become insufferable with the comparisons.

2. SAQUON BARKLEY, Penn State, RB

I think I’ve settled on Thomas Jones as my comparison for Barkley. He’s a little bigger than Jones but the skill set and athleticism strike me as that kind of player. Also, I think Barkley might have some dancer in him which could hold him back a little bit early in his pro career. But he’s a good enough receiver that it might not really matter.

3. DEXTER LAWRENCE, Clemson, DT

Lawrence is a goddam monster. He might actually be a better player overall than Ed Oliver but he’s surrounded by other ridiculously talented linemen so he doesn’t always stand out as much as Oliver. Rest assured, Dexter Lawrence is a legit contender for #1 pick in 2019 and he might end up on the dais in New York for the Heisman ceremony this year if Clemson keeps rampaging the way they have.

4. CLELIN FERRELL, Clemson, EDGE

Ferrell might actually siphon some of Lawrence’s hype for this year just because he’s draft eligible. He might be the best edge defender in the 2018 draft so it’s not exactly a slight to Lawrence. This team is preposterous.

5. BRADLEY CHUBB, NC State, EDGE

I didn’t want it to be like this. I really wanted Louisville to outrun the Wolfpack last night but they didn’t. Chubb is contending with Ferrell to be the first defensive player drafted next year and, stupidly, only one (at most!) of the three defensive players I’ve got listed so far will end up in NYC because voters will never recognize more than one defensive player per season.

6. JAMES WASHINGTON, Oklahoma State, WR

This is really just a stats pick. I hate the Big XII and I want the whole conference to fail.

7. MARK WALTON, Miami, RB

He still looked banged up last week and didn’t do a lot on the ground but he’s the only Hurricane I can put on here right now. I have appreciated the fact that Malik Rosier can throw now but the offense still looks kind of crummy when Walton isn’t on the field.

8. JEFFREY WILSON, North Texas, RB

I couldn’t tell you anything about this kid other than the fact he has 666 yards rushing right now. That’s enough for me.

9. RASHAAD PENNY, San Diego State, RB

He’s on the national radar for Heisman odds which feels weird to me. Like, I’m not sure I’m really ready to share him just yet. It’s all so odd.

10. HERCULES MATA’AFA, Washington State, LB

The real key to Washington State beating USC last week was Hercules (Hercules! Hercules!) and I’m starting to see some draft hype for him now. Obviously the QB who throws for thousands of yards and has been in college since the Eisenhower administration gets most of the publicity but a Mike Leach team with a good defense is all kinds of crazy. The rivalry week game with UDub could be absolutely crazy this year.

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Run to the RTARLsman 2017: Week 4

The world continues to conspire against any form of idealism, even in the awarding of football honors.

Just look at #1 on this list. Disgusting. I swore it would never happen. Will he end up on the Jets next year, reliving the pro career of another Penn State legend who got drafted ahead of a SEC superstar only to become a punchline to jokes about the NFL Draft? Most assuredly.

I’ve turned this into a top 10 list so slowly that I didn’t realize it was even moving in this direction. But the old anarchic days of the RTARLsman in-season posts is definitely a memory for now.

1. SAQUON BARKLEY, Penn State, RB

All Blair Thomas references aside, Barkley saved James Franklin from himself last week. I’m still not clear on why Penn State thinks they’re a passing team or why even at that you would think throwing the ball / lining up to throw the ball all game is a good gameplan against Iowa but Barkley is pretty clearly the September Heisman winner for 2017. Last year Lamar Jackson rode that momentum to actually winning the award but I wouldn’t count on a repeat of that trick this year. Barkley is a monster and he’ll be a top 10 pick next year but I have this feeling that Penn State is going to falter at some inopportune times and it will cost Saquon in a way that it didn’t for Lamar.

2. MARK WALTON, Miami (FL), RB

Walton went nuts in the first quarter last week, then he got injured in the second quarter, then Miami’s offense went quiet, then he cam back in the third quarter and went nuts again. 11 carries for 204 yards is pretty great no matter who it’s against and Walton mixed in an 82-yard (non touchdown) run where he looked tired after about 25 yards to give it a highlight game feel. The Canes game is starting in about an hour so if you’re home give it a peep and see if you can love Mark Walton with the depth of feeling that I have felt over the past couple of years.

3. BRYCE LOVE, Stanford, RB

Love is putting up absolutely bonkers numbers against not-the-worst-in-the-country level opposition and much like his predecessor at RB1 for Stanford, I’m buying into the hype all the way. Love is much less of a hybrid player than Christian McCaffrey was and he plays with some serious quickness behind the line of scrimmage. The Cardinal are a 2-loss team so far but I think they’ll get it back together and finish no worse than 9-3. Love should murder Arizona State this week but it’s a day game so he might be back to his normal 15-20 touches after getting more than 30 last week.

4. LAMAR JACKSON, Louisville, QB

He’s in some weird wasteland right now but he’s still the best single player for entertainment purposes when he gets it going. This week Louisville plays a high school team so it shouldn’t amount to much in terms of “meaning” but it seems like the Cardinals can use some practice to get their timing right as Lamar and his receivers have been out of sync the last couple of weeks. He played into the 4th quarter last week against Kent State and threw 2 INTs which is really weird. I still have him as the best QB prospect in the draft next year but that’s starting to be more about all of the big names having glaring weaknesses more than it is Lamar wowing me consistently.

5. ANTHONY WINBUSH, Ball State, EDGE

The nation’s leader in sacks (awesome) but he plays in the MAC (bad.) Winbush is going to be head up against a first round prospect this week in Western Michigan’s Chukwuma Okorafor so if we come back and he’s sitting on 10 sacks next week, we’ll have to keep him here. There’s no way I’m watching a MAC game on purpose so if one of you does please drop in tomorrow and give us all a better scouting report. Winbush is sized like a LB for NFL purposes, I don’t know how athletic he really is but I see some sites give him credit for a 4.67 time in the 40-yard dash. That could get him some day 2 looks as a tweener EDGE.

6. BRADLEY CHUBB, N.C. State, EDGE

Florida State’s offensive line was a known weakness coming into 2017 and it’s actually looked worse than expected through two games but Chubb has to get some credit for that in last week’s big upset. That was a total trap game for the Seminoles to try breaking in a new starter, by the way. Don’t count on them looking that stupid for the rest of the season. Chubb is more of a classic EDGE defender and it’s not crazy to think he ends up in the first round. Great chance to pile up even more TFLs and sacks this week against a Syracuse team that sucks but also throws the ball a shit ton.

7. JALEN HURTS, Alabama, QB

I’m just gonna leave him hanging out down here for now. He’s looked really good to me so far. Does he have any pro upside at all? I don’t think so but he’s a wildly effective college player who’s more integral to what Bama’s doing than people probably realize.

8. JOSEY JEWELL, Iowa, LB

I was so close to putting him as #1. Then Iowa gave up a last second TD to lose after he’d been as everywhere as he could be through the first 59:56 against Penn State. Was that last play on him, really? Sort of. If you’re a defensive “QB” you should probably recognize that with 4 seconds left the only thing you need to do is keep the opponent out of the end zone. That game fucked with my mind. I still wanted to puff him up a little because I won’t bring him up again this year and he’s a good player.

9. ED OLIVER, Houston, DT

This is a placeholder. Oliver got gameplanned out of the stadium for the most part last week.

10. CAM PHILLIPS, Virginia Tech, WR

Trying to get ahead of a potential hype train here. Phillips has put up some eye popping numbers so far and if he does it against Clemson (somewhat possible - he should win one on one against Clemson’s back but that doesn’t mean Josh Jackson will have any time to actually get him the ball) the whole country will know his name. Don’t get too ready but be sort of ready for that to happen.

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2019 RTARLsman phone update, volume 2: goodnight, sweet prince; an on this day, closing bell, Friday drugs post

I legitimately hate what happened with Tua last week and I hope he recovers fully. His career arc is an odd one in terms of narrative but he is one of the best college QBs of all time. He has had an ungodly collection of talent surrounding him at Bama but so has every other QB of the Saban era. Remember Jalen Hurts being a serious Heisman contender in Tuscaloosa? Probably I’ll be back to posting normally next week. In the meantime appreciate Tua Tagovailoa and reflect on all the myriad ways you have personally failed him.

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On this day: closing bell: friday drugs: RTARLsman rankings following the games of College Football 2019 season: week 7

Sorry, this week’s output will be bad and hurried. I am a busy man.

1. Chuba Hubbard

2. Tua Tagovailoa

3. Joe Burrow

4. Omar Bayless

5. Chase Young (playing tonight!)

6. Curtis Weaver

7. Jalen Hurts

8. Tyler Huntley

9. Tanner Morgan

10. Jonathan Taylor

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On this day: closing bell: friday drugs: RTARLsman rankings following the games of College Football 2019 season: week 3

I don’t have Trevor Lawrence on this list, I just wanted to compare him to Jameis Winston. On the field! We don’t know anything about his Antonio Brownistic tendencies yet!

Current list:

1. CHUBA HUBBARD, RB, Oklahoma State

2. JOE BURROW, QB, LSU

3. JALEN HURTS, QB, Oklahoma

4. TUA TAGOVAILOA, QB, Alabama

5. KENNY GAINWELL, RB, Memphis

6. RONDALE MOORE, WR, Purdue

7. OLUWOLE BETIKU JR., EDGE, Illinois

8. JUSTIN FIELDS, QB, Ohio State

9. DARRYNTON EVANS, RB, Appalachian State

10. JALEN MCCLESKEY, WR, Tulane

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RTARLsman Trophy Award for the 2019 FBS Season

He’ll finish fourth in the Heisman voting but Chase Young wins the world’s most internet college football trophy award for the 2019 season.

Congratulations, Chase Young, your life has probably peaked but you can still make a ton of money and win a bunch of awards in the NFL, too.

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RTARLsman Weekly Friday Drugs Update On This Day

Let’s cut the shit:

1. CHASE YOUNG, EDGE, Ohio State

2. JALEN HURTS, QB, Oklahoma

3. LUQ BARCOO, CB, San Diego State

4. JONATHAN TAYLOR, RB, Wisconsin

5. CHUBA HUBBARD, RB, Oklahoma State

6. OMAR BAYLESS, WR, Arkansas State

7. HAMILCAR RASHED, LB, Oregon State

8. LEVANTE BELLAMY, RB, Western Michigan

9. JA’MARR CHASE, WR, LSU

10. JOE BURROW, QB, LSU

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On this day: Closing Bell: Friday Drugs: RTARLsman list following week 2 of the 2019 college football season

I do believe we have a consensus favorite for the televised award show that is merely a hollow imitation of the world’s most internet college football award. That’s not a rarity, there’s a phenomenon known as the “September Heisman.” Notable winners have included Marshall Faulk and Denard Robinson. But let’s not concern ourselves with such things here.

This is not a prediction of the Heisman market. This is a lazy update of who impresses me, the arbiter of all things RTARLsmatic.

1. RONDALE MOORE, WR, Purdue

People watch Purdue games on purpose these days. Not a lot of people. But any number of people watching Purdue on purpose is aberrational. The nation’s leader in receiving and all-purpose yardage is to blame.

2. JALEN HURTS, QB, Oklahoma

Baker Mayfield and Calamari weren’t in mainstream NFL draft discussions until November or December but the drumbeat is already starting for hurts. Maybe this Oklahoma head coach is as real as it gets. I still hate them.

3. DARRYNTON EVANS, RB, Appalachian State

He’s put up numbers. Sometimes that’s enough. Now it one of those times.

4. JACE WHITTAKER, DB, Arizona State

Is he good? I have no idea. He has 3 interceptions. What a legend.

5. OLUWOLE BETIKU, JR., EDGE, Illinois

Google tells me that he has burst on the scene. Have you heard of him at all? He has 5 sacks and 6.5 TFL in two weeks. Illinois (the program) needs something to hang some hopes on. I think Simeon Rice was the last good player there.

6. JOE BURROW, QB, LSU

Finally, something good comes out of Ohio State. Now watch for Burrow’s name to surface in Jeffrey Epstein’s flight logs.

7. TUA TAGOVAILOA, QB, Alabama

He’s pretty good, in my opinion.

8. HANK BACHMEIER, QB, Boise St.

That’s one clutch-ass motherfuckin clutcher of a freshman clutch QB.

9. JONATHAN SONG, K, TCU

5 field goals per game and 100% accuracy. A true star.

10. MICHAEL TURK, P, Arizona State

I know what you’re thinking: “Too low!” And I agree

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On this day: Closing Bell: Friday Drugs: RTARLsman list following week 1 of the 2019 college football season

The imperative to get awards out ever faster and rank things continuously is the blogger’s lot in this cruel modern world. So here are the players that impressed me much over the past two weeks of week 1 of this current new college football season.

1. TRAVIS ETIENNE, RB, Clemson

The nation’s second leading rusher, after a short game against Georgia Tech, Etienne looked like the best player on the field. Real Reggie Bush Heisman potential over here.

2. CEDRIC BYRD, WR, Hawaii

14 catches for 224 yards and 4 TDs seems like a ridiculous, once-in-a-lifetime kind of stat line but if Hawaii’s offense plays like it’s designed to then it could be sort of average. That’s what the RTARLsman exists for: a 200 catch / 3,000 yard / 48 TD season.

3. CHUBA HUBBARD, RB, Oklahoma State

I love it when a guy with a cool name lives up to his hype. Is Chuba Hubbard the best RB in Oklahoma State history? Probably. Seems likely, even.

4. JALEN HURTS, QB, Oklahoma

I hate putting him here because I hated watching him so much at Alabama but it was cool seeing him run an offense that gives him some freedom to be himself and he did put up stupid stats. I think you all know the famous Vince Lombardi quote by now: “Winning isn’t the only thing, there’s also stats!”

5. ZACK MOSS, RB, Utah

I like Zack Moss as a player but this is more an attempt to stay on top of this year’s version of David Montgomery. I don’t have any reason to troll Utah fans so I’m just going to admit that I like Moss.

6. HANK BACHMEIER, QB, Boise State

Mountain West 4 Lyfe, as one often hears in the RTARL offices on Blog Street, Downtown San Francisco, New York, NY, the media heart of the world. True freshman QB with funny sibling names and a big comeback win on the road against Florida State is actually impressive even if Willie Taggert still hasn’t brought his new bus in for much needed servicing.

7. RONDALE MOORE, WR, Purdue

He’s going to have to do it all himself, which is a tough position to be in as a wide receiver. The only interesting player in the B1G.

8. TUA TAGOVAILOA, QB, Alabama

I saw some Tua slander in the comments last week and I don’t get it. What does he not do that you want a QB to do? I don’t remember who was badmouthing him last week but SHOW YOURSELF!!! and explain. Really, I’m interested to read what perceived shortcomings there are here.

9. LWAL UGUAK, EDGE, UConn

The nation’s leader in sack yardage, he’s Canadian and plays for a shitty team. How could I love him more? Easy, he almost went to Fresno State. But this is fine for our purposes today.

10. HASAN DEFENSE, DB, Kansas

I hope this guy becomes a coach some day. I don’t know if he’s actually good but he scored a touchdown on an interception return and he’s named Defense.

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2019 Run to the RTARLsman opening long list of candidates

The obvious preseason awards favorites are, kind of obviously, from Clemson and Alabama. But there are several other players who could end up becoming huge names and/or huge producers away from the NFL-level publicity spotlight!

Here is my list of guys I am excited for this season:

Louis Hedley, P, Miami - The clear cut favorite among non-Clemson/Bammer players.

Jeff Thomas, WR, Miami - On the one hand he should be an absolutely massive star this season and into the NFL. On the other hand he might decide to just quit the team at any given moment.

Brevin Jordan, TE, Miami - He’s a little dinged up already but he’s also the best of the bunch on a Miami team with three potential first round picks at TE and a pretty good history at the position.

Trevor Lawrence, QB, Clemson - A preseason Heisman pick so obvious it has almost no chance of actually happening.

Travis Etienne, RB, Clemson - I’m most of the way to expecting him to hit 2,000 rushing yards in the regular season.

Tee Higgins / Justyn Ross, WR, Clemson - Neither one has much of a shot at the Heisman but they’re both Randy Moss clones playing with the best QB in college football.

Tua Tagovailoa, QB, Alabama - An obvious star from the first time he hit the field, Tua is in the mix to go overall #1 in 2020 and will probably be a better player this season with worse stats than last season. Such is life.

Jerry Jeudy, WR, Alabama - I think I would actually take Jeudy over the Clemson guys in the draft. The last time I felt this strongly about a Bama WR was Julio Jones and history has been kind to those feelings.

Najee Harris, RB, Alabama - Pretty good, huge, plays for Bama. Pencil him as a first team All-American at least.

Khalil Tate, QB, Arizona - Yes, he’s still in college and no he hasn’t been there for very long.

Jordan Love, QB, Utah State - Great QB size with a huge arm. Getting some dark horse attention from CFB writers already as a potential top 10 pick next year.

Cole McDonald, QB, Hawaii - Staying in the Mountain West. McDonald turned the ball over a lot late in the season last year, which I don’t care about if you’re throwing 75 passes a game but he was throwing 30-40 most weeks. I still love Hawaii’s scheme even if it is a gimmick.

Trey Sermon, RB, Oklahoma - This is more of an anti-Jalen Hurts pick than a vote of confidence in Sermon. I do think Sermon is pretty good, though.

Rondale Moore, WR, Purdue - Only player I currently give a shit about in the B1G.

Pooka Williams, RB, Kansas - Did something bad enough that Les Miles had to pretend to consider suspending him. Good enough as a player that Les Miles didn’t suspend him. Made the RTARLsman list a couple of times last year.

Chuba Hubbard, RB, Oregon State - I don’t know anything about this kid but his name rules.

Laviska Shenault, WR, Colorado - Could have made some All-American teams last year if he hadn’t gotten hurt.

D’Eriq King, QB, Houston - Sometimes he’s fun to watch.

Kellen Mond, QB, Texas A&M - Has a little bit of first round hype and I don’t like him very much as a player so history tells us he should be great.

Bryce Hall, CB, Virginia - I thought he was the best DB in the country last year and for some reason he returned for his senior year. Weird. He would have gone in the top 20.

Jonathan Taylor, RB, Wisconsin - I think Taylor is really good, not just a compiler. 

If there is anybody I missed you need to know how much I was thinking of you personally when I “forgot.”

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The 2018 RTARLsman Award Presentation

Traditionally I go through a long-winded breakdown of the candidates and their relative merits but let’s just get to it.

The 2018 RTARLsman Award Winner is

QUINNEN WILLIAMS, DL, Alabama

Look how happy he is! Great work, kid! Williams wins over a bunch of statistically incredible QBs, some great WRs, two great RBs, a couple of monster d-linemen and a bunch of ridiculous DBs. Also, Ed Oliver and Nick Bosa got injured and skipped most of the year.

Williams is the latest protege of Craig Kuligowski and Coach Kool may have painted his masterpiece here. Williams has been so good this year that Draft Experts (TM) are starting to rank him over Ed Oliver. That’s dumb as hell but nobody can ever take the RTARLsman from him.

THERE HE IS! MISTER RTARLSMAN! COVERED IN GOLD! COVERED IN LACE!

[racingtoaredlight]

Friday drugs: closing bell: on this day: Friday, November 30th: RTARLsman Finalists for the 2018 Season

Why do we do it this way, giving out awards before the most important games of the season? I mean us here at RTARL? It’s because of traffic. It’s because player of the year shit crescendos with the Heisman ceremony and after that nobody cares en masse.

It’s a funny justification because nobody cares about the RTARLsman before or during the Heisman ceremony, either, but it’s more likely that somebody will notice us during this next couple of weeks. Not very likely in any case but more likely. 

This is a finalists post because I haven’t made up my mind entirely but there’s really no shot anybody besides these 6 players gets our virtual hardware for the 2018 season. That means no Rondale Moore, no Darrell Henderson (even though he has a chance to get some serious All-American hype with a great game this weekend), no Travis Etienne, no Pooka Williams, no Justin Szmyt. 

1. QUINNEN WILLIAMS, DL, Alabama

It’s very odd we’re at this point but there’s a decent chance Williams gets drafted over my beloved Ed Oliver. As a prospect they’re not dissimilar due to their size and likely usage in the NFL but Williams has clearly had a better year due to being on the field and not being coached by Mark D’Onofrio. Oliver had higher highs and actually has better counting stats even with all of the missed time but Williams is driving maybe the best Alabama team of all time. So I guess context matters.

2. TUA TAGOVAILOA, QB, Alabama

The very obvious difference maker for this year’s Bama team is Tua. It’s been at least 40 years since the Tide had a pro prospect on Tua’s level at QB. That’s opened things up for the insane receiving corps and taken pressure off a defense that wasn’t really championship level at the start of the season. Now the whole machine is humming and Tua has put up Big XII-type numbers in the SEC. You know, that line had more punch in a pre-LSU/aTm world.

3. GRANT DELPIT, DB, LSU

It’s not Delpit’s fault that things went as crazy as they did in 7 overtimes last week but that underscores where the game as a whole is right now. No defensive back (or even two) can impact a game enough to keep the score down. Delpit had an incredible season and boosted his stock as high as possible but from a team-building perspective, how could you choose him over a passer or a pass-rusher? It’s weird that an all-passing, all-the-time version of football actually mitigates the overall impact of a great defensive back but here we are.

4. TREVOR LAWRENCE, QB, Clemson

Clemson’s answer to Tua is a year younger and comes with draft hype that will escape all bounds of sanity by the time he’s eligible in 2021. If you don’t hate Lawrence yet just give it a year or two. Sure, there’s plenty of grace to fall from between now and then but this kid’s gun is otherworldly and I just assume the Tigers keep rolling. If Dabo Swinney really does leave, though? Who knows what the next regime could do. For now I’m enthralled with the difference in looks between the Kelly Bryant-led offense and what it looks like now.

5. KYLER MURRAY, QB, Oklahoma

Murray’s athleticism, aggression, arm strength and stats are right up my alley. I also deeply heart two-sport stars. I wish Murray could give the NFL a shot just to know whether he could handle it but there is no way to pull off the Bo Jackson/Deion Sanders role at QB. I still feel bad putting a Big XII quarterback here but the whole sport from junior high to the NFL is now playing Big XII football. So why hold out anymore?

6. GERALD WILLIS III, DL, Miami

It’s a little sad to me that you’ll all just see this as a homer pick instead of looking at just how good Willis was this year. It’s his 14th year in college so I’m not sure how he stacks up as a pro prospect but it’s an unholy shame that Miami could put out the defense they did this year and not even win the worst division in the Power 5. Willis was the key to keeping a truly inept offense in every game. Job Garvin matched his TFL numbers but Garvin is an EDGE defender who’s supposed to rack up stats and all the line schemes Miami faced were funneled towards Willis and Joe Jackson. I wish his time in school had been less fraught  but at least we got one great season out of a guy who entered college (at Florida) as a massively hyped high school player.

Cast your RTARLsman vote!

[racingtoaredlight]

Closing bell: on this day: friday drugs: RTARLsman list following the games of week 9, college football season 2018

I’m sure some you jerks are going to actually like this video but I don’t care what you say it still sucks. That is the way I feel about your favorite players, too, so shut up at all times. Please and thank you.

Maybe I’ve been too hopeful in thinking that I could get back to putting thought into my words. This won’t be the week if any of them ever are.

1. TUA TAGOVAILOA, QB, Alabama

2. DEANDRE BAKER, CB, Georgia

3. RONDALE MOORE, WR, Purdue

4. ED OLIVER, DL, Houston

5. GARDNER MINSHEW II, QB, Houston

6. BRETT RYPIEN, QB, Boise State

7. D’ERIQ KING, QB, Houston

8. POOKA WILLIAMS, RB, Kansas

9. JOSH ALLEN, LB, Kentucky

10. TREVOR LAWRENCE, QB, Clemson

[racingtoaredlight]

Closing Bell: on this day: RTARLsman top 10 list following the games of week 8, college football season 2018

Don’t get caught up in the images, they’re not really related to the post. I just like them.

If you read this blog you know that there is no committee, these are just my favorite players. I always want to find lesser known names to round this out but sometimes things just do t work our that way. Like, remember when Cam Newton won the Heisman? Imagine thinking there was a better player in the country. That would have been wild. Sometimes the Heisman and RTARLsman are in concert. This looks like it might be one if those years.

1. ED OLIVER, DT, Houston

Well, maybe not. Ed Oliver is a force of nature who is maybe on par with Tua Tagovailoa. Tua has a much better supporting cast and obviously better position to rack up numbers but Oliver has gone berserk the last two weeks.

2. TUA TAGOVAILOA, QB, Alabama

Tua and Oliver have something in common that doesn’t come up much: off the rails recruiting hype. Both have lived up to their billing and then some so think of that the next time you want to make fun of recruiting rankings. They actually do have at least some basis in reality.

3. RONDALE MOORE, WR, Purdue

College football’s big man of the moment, Moore had the highlight game and play of last weekend. Demoralizing one of college football’s high powers is always going to get you on the RTATLsman list but it’s not like Moore hasn’t been doing the same thing all year. It’s just that most weeks Purdue sucks and I forget about him.

4. GARDNER MINSHEW II, QB, Washington State

He’s probably a purely college phenomenon but if he can play the on field extension of Mike Leach into the PAC 12 title game and maybe beyond then who cares what he does with the rest of his life?

5. BRIAN BURNS, EDGE, Florida State

I’m telling you, FSU isn’t dead in the water. Mostly because of Burns but there are other major talents on the team. If Burns gets another couple of sacks and FSU upsets Clemson this weekend I won’t be a rare voice hyping him for hardware. If he also gets to Notre Damein a couple of weeks he’ll actually get to hang out in NYC for the Heisman presentation.

6. MONTEZ SWEAT, DL, Mississippi State

His team is a little trashy but he’s been incredible. All production watching here but I don’t care.

7. DARRELL HENDERSON, RB, Memphis

Feels a little bit like a placeholder after Memphis got absolutely wrecked last week but what can you do? The other RB options are way less inspiring and how do you have this kind of award with no running backs?

8. JUSTIN HERBERT, QB, Oregon

Another placeholder. He’s going #1 overall and now I have this deja vu feeling with him. Hopefully he’s better than the next Drew Bledsoe but if that’s your floor as a player that’s not so bad.

9. ANDY ISABELLA, WR, Massachusetts

I’ve (probably) never seen him play but his numbers look nice.

(There’s a 10 image limit per post and if anybody deserves nothing it’s this guy)

10. DEVIN WHITE, LB, LSU

Got a horrible targeting call last week so he’ll miss the first half next week against Alabama. Hopefully for his sake there’s still a reason to put him in the game when he’s eligible. It’s of course entirely possible the halftime score is 55-0 and White never checks in st all.