#RYUHEI IS FAR BETTER THAN HIM
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Oh now everything comes clear to me why Goo is acting like THAT everytime he is around Gun. All these years Ptj has been giving us all the hints and we somehow underestimate it???
He is SO IN LOVE WITH HIM. The act of service, the clothes stealing, the cheek poking (skin ship).
Omg bro even gets salty because bro is jealousy as fuck Im telling you đđđâ
Btw Goo is such a dumb ass golden retriever bf. He is so stupid, he wants to impress Gun but he can't remember what his crush favorite cigarette brand is. Fucking loser. I would kms if I were him đđđđđđ
#RYUHEI IS FAR BETTER THAN HIM#Goo is jealousy possessive type of bf and Gun is his bbg FOR REAL!#Im telling he is so dumb the bar is so low rn đđ#Goo is such a pathetic loser there is no way you can rizz Gun up if you are this stupid#lookism#park jonggun#goo kim#googun#fuck my life
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How Lookism men confess to YOU they've caught feelings
G/N. Soft. Fluffy. All that good stuff. (Gun, Jake, Goo, James Lee/DG, Johan, Vin, Samuel, Eli, Ryuhei)
Gun opts for somewhere private, just the two of you. Whether that's his home, yours, or somewhere only you both know.
He tells you with certainty his feelings for you. That there's no point divulging if he didn't think it would work out, if you weren't better together.
Intensity radiates from him. His words, eyes, aura. He keeps his confession simple and to the point, unexpectedly romantic with how matter of fact he is.
.
.
Jake thought he was being subtle, but there's a lot of prying eyes in the shadows.
He shoos the Big Deal members away in his best authoritative, no nonsense boss tone. The one he reserves to deal with serious matters. Which this is. Of utmost seriousness.
Behind his beaming toothy grin and confident stance are anxious eyes. His words are cheesy and well-rehearsed. Sincerity pulses through his every fibre, leaving you starry eyed and breath hitched.
.
.
Goo announces his feelings with a grin on his lips.
Corners you somewhere crowded, at a completely inappropriate moment. But of course. It's only inappropriate if Goo deems it to be so, and there's no time like the present.
The words are said lightly, like he could play it off as a joke any moment. His ego too fragile for rejection. But his carefree attitude is off kilter, body language tense. Gaze steady and more serious than you have ever seen.
.
.
James is flippant. The arrogant, cocky man claims you as his already. Confesses without any doubt in his mind that rejection could happen, or it could sting.
He's not a gambling man. Only plays when the odds are in his favour and the gains far outweighs the losses.
There's no ifs or buts. Talks about 'us' and 'we' and a future where you're by his side.
.
.
Johan pulls out the words reluctantly and when you least expect. Like they will choke him if he keeps it from you any longer.
He says it without looking at you. Eyes fixed on the ground, a point in the distance, Miro, Eden, anywhere but you.
Brows knitted together, hands white knuckled. A second away from running away. But he needs to tell you, he has to. The words are too big to swallow down anymore.
.
.
Vin peppers his confession with insults and half-jokes. A type of self defence to spare his heart.
Hands in pocket, like it's no big deal. Words spilling out, trying to inject indifference into them. Back against the wall, peering over at you.Â
Sunglasses firmly on, eyes shielded. Because he can't bear to be any more vulnerable than he has to right now. His words are barbed and prickly, but his feelings are completely bared.
.
.
Samuel offers his heart in between lofty promises and delusions of grandeur.
Words murmured against the back of your hand, breath ghosting over your skin. Eyes fixed on yours, fiery and almost challenging you to say no.
But a relentless phantom haunts him, one that he silences over and over again.
-That being by his side won't be enough, that offering you to be his queen is inadequate, lacking and there's so much more that you deserve.
Still, he promises you the world and is committed to giving you nothing less.
.
.
Trepidation lines Eliâs words. Like he canât believe heâs here again. After everything that has happened, with everything on his plate.
Heâs forced himself to make room for you, carved out a part of his life.
He confesses in a cramped dusty room in Hostel. Sat opposite one another on rickety uneven chairs, so close your knees are touching and thereâs no personal space left.Â
Body leaning forward, craving your touch and proximity as he rids the last remnants of hesitancy and takes a leap of faith.
.
.
Ryuhei tells you over and over again.
Until it becomes a daily mantra of sorts for him, and part of your day for you. At first as a joke, or at least you thought so. And then his earnestness snowballed until you could no longer ignore it.
He confesses, with the same sort of childish joy he always feels when he's with you. Tonight, his blood is thrumming in his vein and his pulse is beating in his ears.
With a hushed voice and hope in his eyes: he tells you once more.
#yes still delusional and deranged over here#lookism#lookism x reader#gun park x reader#jake kim x reader#goo kim x reader#james lee x reader#dg x reader#johan seong x reader#vin jin x reader#samuel seo x reader#eli jang x reader#ryuhei kuroda x reader#gun park#jake kim#goo kim#james lee#lookism dg#johan seong#vin jin#eli jang#samuel seo#ryuhei kuroda#lookism manwha#lookism webtoon#wannaeatramyeon
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Hmm I've been thinking to ask about other male characters what do you think about Warren, Sinu , and Nomen reactions?: đ,â,,đ€,đ,đ
EMOJI MEMEÂ | đ answered here.
đ Their future goals in a relationship? How far do they want to take it?
Warren Chae â One of those guys who don't think much about the future of your relationship. He's happy to be with you, whatever plan you have in mind, marriage or no marriage, kids or no kids, he's happy to let you decide. However, if you do have serious plans, he will sit down to talk about it with you.
Sinu Han â Also another one who goes with the flow when it comes to a relationship. He's happy to stay as lovers forever or have a long engagement. He doesn't mind marrying early, too! Just as long as the two of you have money for it. A bit more hesitant to approach the topic of children, however, it really depends on where he's at in life.
Kuroda Ryuhei â All the way up, babey. He's ride-or-die, in it to win it. He also doesn't think much about marriage either, mostly because he's simply happy to be there with you. Legal ties to each other are unnecessary when you know how strongly he feels about you. However, he'd be very happy if you entertain the idea of Kuroda Jr... he has to continue his line somehow đ„ș
đ€ Do they enjoy loving or being loved?
Warren Chae â Definitely loving! He doesn't really know what to do when he's loved back. Mostly because he never really gets that experience while growing up. However, love comes easier because he knows his basic instinct is to protect you and make you happy. Being loved, however, he doesn't know...
Sinu Han â Ambivalent about the two. He doesn't see one as more than the other. He sees merits in both, and he doesn't favour any. He enjoys seeing the smile you make for him as much as the warmth of happiness he feels around you. Making him pick between the two is simply cruel.
Kuroda Ryuhei â He'd say he prefers being loved! But he's so much better at loving, it's a struggle for him. If he can, he wants to be showered in all of your love and affection. However, it appears he's always the more enthusiastic and overbroad one. It's difficult, really.
â Are they scared of being in love?
Warren Chae â Not... really. He doesn't think much about it. It's pretty much a second instinct for him after he falls for you. He acts before he thinks, which doesn't give him a lot of time to stop and think or feel self-conscious.
Sinu Han â He's... ambivalent about it. Not exactly afraid but hesitant enough about the prospect that he doesn't do anything to progress it or stop it either. He's happy with staying by your side and being your friend, but any more than that, he struggles with figuring it out.
Kuroda Ryuhei â Not at all. All of his fear nerves pretty much wither up and die when he falls in love. He's pretty foolhardy about it, which makes him unaware of the potential of getting hurt. Besides, to him, a love without a bit of a struggle isn't fun. He loves the chase, too!
đ How do they kiss?
Warren Chae â He doesn't really know how to kiss, not in the beginning. For a while, he's pretty stilted and awkward. However, once he has a better grasp on it, you will find out he's a grounding presence whenever you kiss him.
He doesn't make you feel overwhelmed or anything. In fact, Warren's kisses often make you feel safe and warm like there wouldn't be anything he wouldn't do for you, and you feel it in his kiss.
Uh, also he favours lip kisses or anywhere else. Not much of a kisser either.
Sinu Han â This one is a bit of a natural when it comes to kissing. You wouldn't even know he didn't kiss a lot of people before he met you either. He just oozes that natural charm that you can detect it's half an act and half his genuine personality.
You will feel bedazzled whenever you're with him, his kisses are often sweet and playful. Little pecks are scattered from your cheeks to your shoulders when you're the least suspecting.
He has favouritism towards neck kisses, on you and on him. He also nuzzles when he kisses you.
Kuroda Ryuhei â He used to be a bit of a whore... he won't deny it! But because of that, he has so much experience with kissing and making out. Not much in the risque department, but he knows how to use his tongue and teeth and work his mouth against yours.
He has a reputation for being wild, so it's expected that he always gets greedy and overbearing when he kisses you. Even simple pecks on the lips can become a big old smooch when it comes to him.
This one is very kissy about you, always squeezes you tight when he peppers kiss all over your face and leaves you a few hickeys to remember him by.
#warren chae#sinu han#kuroda ryuhei#warren chae x reader#sinu han x reader#kuroda ryuhei x reader#headcanons#emoji meme#lookism#lookism x reader
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with neko being the current main character of lookism fandom disk-horse, i feel an urge to share my two-cents on her, so here we go. (long rant ahead)
soma mitsuki is an excellent antagonist (or as good as we could hope for, with ptjâs questionable record of writing women charactersâŠ). her intentions and actions are enough to make many readers double over with rage, which i think is testament to how well sheâs written.
she revived a collapsing casino, and turned it into an empire. she managed to recruit the 2A executives to become her henchmen and follow her to a foreign country, and they remained loyal to her upto the very end.
she isnât like vivi, the pampered daughter of a billionaire that would rather traumatise unregistered children and brainwash burn victims to protect his daughter, than rehabilitate her. unlike vivi, she doesnât have xiaolungâs devotion. throughout her growing up, she has only seen the worst of men. even ryuhei, despite his feelings for her, behaved in an absolutely gross way during their first meeting.Â
her obsession with sinu is infinitely interesting - sheâs drawn to him not because of lust, but due to his sacrifice. itâs the first time sheâs seen any man act outside of his own needs, and she wants to be on the receiving end of his sacrifice, even if it means she has to treat sinu like an object⊠such an obsession is selfish. itâs disgusting. itâs terrifying. but all of this asserts her position as a commendable antagonist.
sheâs an exceptionally capable business woman, a quality thatâs seen in men like yujin, gun, samuel, and olly - all of whom are equally terrible, but better-liked than mitsuki.
mitsuki is manipulative, but so are characters like gun (with his successors) and jake (with big deal during juvie and even after his release).
sheâs a charismatic leader, much like jake. In fact, both of them are the neglected children of lecherous fathers who left them with only burdens and problems. both are touched by sinuâs passion and romance. both of them sit at the top of the food chain and make the ones below fight (mitsuki in the circus, and jake in juvie). however, both of their love for sinu diverges their roads as protagonist and antagonist - jake wants sinu to be happy, even if itâs far from himself. mitsuki only wants sinu to be by her side, even if heâs never truly happy.
so, i feel that itâs time that we realise that being like soma mitsuki was a VERY likely outcome if characters that we love and adore were placed under slightly different circumstances, or that we give characters that are no different from her a LOT less heat.
#mitsuki lookism#neko lookism#ryuhei lookism#lookism nomen#lookism#lookism webtoon#lookism manhwa#jake kim#kim gimyung#samuel seo#seo seongun#gun park#park jonggun#olly wang#wang ochun#yujin lookism#yoojin lookism#workers lookism#workers second affiliate#soma mitsuki#sinu han#han shinwoo#han sinwoo
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Unpopular Opinion about Lookism
Disclaimer : I just express my opinion. if you have a difference of opinion/taste, itâs fine.
Zack! Tbh I'm tired of the-loser-Zack story. I used to like Zack. He is my second favorite character after Johan. I liked the development of his character. He was a bully and then realized the meaning of kindness. But now, Zack's story is just about âWhy do I always lose?â. Okay, Iâm understand. Zackâs skill is left far behind from his friends and its affects the story of his friendship (sacrifice for Johan and Mira or help Daniel destroy 4 big crews). But lately, the-loser-Zack is getting exaggerated. Honestly, when Zack won against Jacky Lee, I donât get the hype. And yes, there's also the influence of (mostly) Zack's annoying fanbase. Zack was left behind because he only practiced fighting at the training ground and didn't fight in the free streets like the other characters. But what do the fans do? They blame Johan. Like yeah.. they must be jealous so haters gonna hate.
Since after the Summit arc, I've been confused about the power scaling system in the comic. The character's power always exaggerated in the story. The 3rd affiliate still makes sense for me. But the 2nd affiliates? Bruh, I am done! How can an ex-soldier lose to a guy who trained for a month? Also the premise of the story is always the same. The villain appears -> The villain is described as very very strong. As strong as Gun, Goo, James Lee, etc-> meets the hero character with only a few time of practice -> the hero wins. Always has been. I suspect that PTJ trying to do fanservice. Lookism fanboys are numerous and many of them greatly exalt the power of their favorite characters. Iâm always wish you to make the best in the quality of the story. I miss the quality of the Hostel era or Jake Kim's flashbacks that didn't glorify power scaling.
I'm a little curious about Eli vs Samuel. Eli with a predatory fighting style against Samuel with a psycho fighting style. In addition, Eli was Gun's golden child, while Samuel was Gun's discarded child. It must be interesting.
Zack, Eli and Vasco in 3rd affiliated is just for fanservice. I bet PTJ just wants a big war. Wouldn't the author be happy if the fandom got tepered with his story? Especially if there is a fan war.
Heather's screen time should have been longer. Honestly, although I've written good point about heather before, Iâm still don't like her. The point of view of Eli's arc flashback coming from Sally's point of view and thatâs makes me quite annoyed with Heather. If her screentime longer, I'm sure I won't be upset. Even the fandom must have had good view of Heather. Trust me.
I canât stand for colored eyes mode. I'm talking about the hype, not the mode. There's nothing wrong with colored eye mode. It will add to the seriousness of a character. The problem is the excessive hype from the fans. They think that colored eyes = overpowered. If they lose, they will go wild. For local fandom in my country, when Ryuhei (Nomen) has green eyes, there is a lot of fanboys are mad just because evil characters have colored eyes mode. Even though it was a fact, colored eyes only increased the fighting will of a character.
I'm tired of Vasco these days. I miss the old vasco.
Jiho shouldn't have died too soon. Yes, the fandom killed him. PTJ seems to care more about fanservice (okay maybe its popular).
Darius is completely useless character. He is rap*st, makes less influential in the story and his appearance is just for comic relief. More like fail as comic relief. Better to just remove him from the story.
Heather Kim > Im Luah. How heather changed Eli more makes sense and more develops than how Im Luah changed Johan.
Fanboy who just talking about characterâs power is same level with fangirl who SIMPing and shipping character
I think thatâs all
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Ongaku to hito (music and people) - July 2004 Album: Ai no Wakusei (Planet of love)
Atsushi Sakurai (Vocal) Interview by Hirofumi Kanemitsu
The album is finally finished.
Well... I still have to record the second single, but I could somehow complete the album.
How was it to sing songs of various persons ?
Each one has his originality and it was very interesting.
That's an exemplary answer.
(smiles)
This is an album where each composer has shown his strong personality.
Yes. Since their personality was... very strong, I wrote the lyrics and sang the songs being aware of that. So, maybe each song can be heard differen... tly...
... Em, Sakurai sa-n ?
... Sorry, I've just finished the vocal recording so... my head is... all blank.
Ah.
I'm really sorry.
Oh no, I'm myself sorry, at such moment.
But... to sing entering that much deeply into things was a good experience.
Sato Taiji's song is titled "Taiji (note : embryo)", the one of Wakusei simply "Wakusei (note : planet)", the one of Raymond Watts (PIG) "Yellow Pig". The fact that the image of each composer is used for the titles is especially noticeable.
Yes. This represents, how to say, all an idea. It's not only a joke (smiles). I thought, for "Taiji", let's see, Taiji's song... Taiji is... maybe an embryo. As for Raymond... I thought, what is the pig doing... it's probably crying hysterically. This way the themes were developing. That was done in a different order but, as I was writing that way, the titles became somehow inevitably like that.
Working with various persons that way, did your way too see the themes change ?
Yes.
For example, you say : "Aishiterutte Yeah!" ("Smell") (note : = "say that you love me", with "ie" (yeah) = "say"), or "at least take care of your health" ("Taiji"), or in "Wakusei" there are also drawn words. I thought that there are phrases that didn't exist so far in Sakurai's poems.
Yes... Doing like this a solo career comforted me in the idea that a band is finally a gathering of different individuals. Thus, I'm aware of the band's name, and according to the melodies or sonorities, the words that come to me, that I use, become different. I write lyrics while I think of that.
Then, what are the words that came once you went away from the frame that is the band ?
Maybe they are a bit more natural. It's in a band that there is a frame, and I attach too much importance to its characteristics.
Then you think that Buck-Tick is a band that has such or such image.
Yes. I hinder myself... not that this time I completely revealed myself but, I think that maybe I could break a little that frame.
I was also surprised about the coupling song to the single that you are recording today.
Fufufufu.
In the movie (note : "Longinus" by Ryuhei Kitamura), it seems that you even did a sword battle.
Well, actually I was only standing as the director told me... and it was like, when I moved it became like that. I think that the result is great, but I wonder how it will be. Since we had no time, the last 2 days we were continuously shooting. I didn't sleep so, maybe the images are strangely tense (laughs).
In fact, how is to do a solo career ?
Well... honestly, it's tiring. Still now (laughs).
Hahaha, sorry.
But I think that it's not so terrible to be tired like that, I can be a lot more tired, and there are a lot of people who are way more tired. Including this kind of tiredness, this time many persons were involved, and my thoughts could be eriged as one pillar so, I'm really a happy one.
They all probably saw a great capacity and a good value in the solo project of Atsushi Sakurai.
You know, I'm just an ordinary man. They shouldn't overestimate me.
What are you saying. But doing a solo career, doing it with various persons, when this was decided, did you have negative thoughts like, how annoying or, this is going to be hard ?
No, I couldn't think that since I didn't even think of doing a solo career. Until I was told : what about doing it ? from my entourage, I didn't think of doing something by myself. But if it has to be done, then I'll do it with all my might... I'm that kind of person. Even if there are days where I feel like : today I don't want to do that, or I don't want to see people, if it has to be done, I'll do it without feeling embarrassed by anyone.
And when you effectively began, evidently many people were involved, and I guess that it was interesting to do various stuffs with them.
Yes. It's so joyful, to be in contact with many persons that way.
I have the image of you of someone who, as far, wasn't that favourable for introducing new blood by entering in contact like this time with various people. So, doing effectively that, what impression did you have ?
Well I expect to, what will I become with these songs. Rather than meeting people and all, what will I become with this song ?
And evidently, I guess that this aspect also appears in the lyrics.
Yes. Though this can't be shown with only lyrics. It's good to have written lyrics, but then how it will be once melodies are put on them, and when I sing them ? That's the point.
When I compare these 14 songs, I can see that you reveal yourself more in depth.
Maybe I should say... the very first intuition. With my own impression, I could write lyrics without distorting them in a weird way. I think that I didn't oddly flee or saved my appearances... since people tend inevitably to try to show their better side that way. Of course, I won't say that I myself don't have that side but, this album, how to say, resulted exactly from the intuition that I had at the very beginning, like an electric shock.
For example, in "Sacrifice" you say : "Dragging a black shadow, I am soiled", or in "Taiji" : "I'm constantly committing crimes", phrases that, as far, ended as screams towards the negative side of yourself. But after that you say : "even though for the moment, live and sing", or : "let's go full of self-confidence", breaking them with such phrases and making one more step forward. I feel that you are full of such kind of strength.
Well... I guess that all I can say is that at that moment I was like that. And there were probably also various external elements.
What kind of external elements ?
Oh, like ordinarily watching news, walking in the town, talking to people, various stuffs accumulate from all these stuffs, right ? Then, when I was told to give form to them, that was what resulted... Also, as the main character of the songs, I thought that it's better to go one more step before, so that I can see my expectations and anxiety.
Not only expectations but also anxiety.
That's right........................
.......................
My head hardly works (laughs).
Then let's analyse the songs one after the other.
Yes.
First, "Sacrifice". I feel somewhere that your feelings towards such depraved world are strongly impregnated in the lyrics.
Ah yes. But I don't particularly give attention to that aspect that seriously.
But I can feel such strength when you say "go through it" or "live and sing".
Well yes. But I can't spend my time on things where I feel myself helpless.
Like ?
OOO or OO.
I can't write that but it's true that we are helpless to that.
That's why I sing without caring about what I look like. As the main character, it's like : I'll go up to where I can go.
But for you Sakurai-san, does the main character have a different image in each of these 14 songs ?
Yes.
They are effectively different, but whichever song I listen to, I see your face.
... Have I at that point a multi personality ? (laughs)
No, I would say that you have a lot of drawers (laughs). And I think that we all have many faces but we lock them and don't try to open them, it's probably that. And in this album, I feel like you opened all of them.
It would be more right to say that I had no choice but open them (laughs).
"Yellow Pig" is a song by your friend of a long time, Raymond Watts.
I thought that it was cool. The pig guy, the main character, is pleased too.
The one who laughs saying that he has no hope.
It's about something like the feelings of a pig being executed at a slaughterhouse... after that he will be eaten by humans, but all he does is to grunt. Sadness, fear, joy... a pig doesn't have such feelings so... maybe it's about... a despair of ignorance... Just that.
"X-lover" is cool.
At first, when I asked Raymond to make a song, he told me that Brian (Black/X-lover) is currently a very cool artist in London, and as he highly recommended him to me, I asked for a collaboration. Then he wrote two songs. This is one of the two.
How was the other one ?
Well I forgot.
Ahahahaha. I can't arbitrary decide an order, but the next one is personally...
A one that you recommend ?
I think that it's a wonderful piece. I love it.
I like it very much too.
How to say, I was among others surprised that Jim Featus has made a piece with a kind of big band motif.
I thought that it's a great song. I mean, the other persons knew better than me (laughs). And everyone praises it, saying that it's great.
There is a phrase saying : "I can't find what I can believe in / and you, do you have it ?"
Yes.
This character seems to discover the real sensation that he lives for his desires.
Each one has his own way to live so, there are surely the ones who live honestly, who are full of hope and go on that way, and there is also, how to say, the very opposite case. Something I think that is not so different from desires.
I think so.
I would say that there are the ones who are guided by Eros and Thanatos and can't live but that way... I think that this has its own legitimacy. In a life where after all only boredom and melancholy go on, I think that there are very few things like that, maybe in an number equivalent to the one of humans. I think that after all, humans are solitary beings...
Yes.
But maybe somewhere I'd like to verify that this isn't true. By caressing, licking and nibbling ass. It's when doing that that I'm kind of bursting with life.
By drowning into desires.
Or how to say, at times I wonder if truth exists really only there. Body and body. Since our sexual desire is something true.
Now "Wonderful World". The character that you describe here appears as a nameless soldier's letter, and says : "his last words are : 'to my beloved mom'".
In a simple and direct way.
Without name, nor blood...
Despite of that, he has someone that he loves. Even if they hold guns and kill each other, each one has someone that he loves. Why... I can't help wondering why.
I'm going to talk about a Buck-Tick song, in "Long Distance Call (included in "Kyokutou (Far East) I love you") there was also a phrase which says : "I love you mama". And there is also the excellent song "Sakura" (included in "Kurutta Taiyou (Mad Sun)") where you sang about your mother.
Yes. I couldn't easily... I think that you know it but, I was unable to part from there.
I anticipate a bit but, in "Taiji" you say : "Listen... mom from tonight it's good-bye", "in the waves of amniotic liquid, I'm playing", "there is no womb I can go back to". There are phrases with maternal images more than usual.
Yes. Concerning the song I sang a moment ago... I feel like the veins of my head are about to break. It's a harsh song (laughs).
Hahahahaha.
So this song is... if I say it honestly, it's a farewell song.
Farewell ?
I say : that's enough. What's the use of keeping on depending of your mother ?
Ah... That's why you say : "There is no womb I can go back to / Let's go full of self-confidence".
That means what it means. And I was also told that if I who remained in this world don't become independant, my mother who is over there could not go to the higher place of Heaven (laughs).
That's true.
I probably couldn't part from that. Said in a bad way, I think that maybe I've always been in a mother complex state. That was a good occasion, so I thought that I should become independent (laughs).
Yes.
Attaching too much importance to lyrics is embarrassing, but it's when I sing that I can express my feelings for the first time, since they also arise in me. Not that this is my disposition, but if you could listen to this kind of stuffs.
Then you've always been having this kind of feelings...
No I mean, it's not about to say that this is beautiful, that I'm a kind person, that I think of my mother, but it's surely about egoism. I've probably been keeping these feelings only for myself. It wasn't for my mother, but actually for myself. I was counting on this kind of existence. So I wanted to put an end to it. The song "Taiji" made born one more time the human that I am. It's something like, I can finally go off on a journey alone.
That was something that absolute for you.
Yes. I was counting on that. Without this kind of thing I feel anxious, so anxious, that I flee to various stuffs.
One of them is the world "love".
In various meanings. It's of this kind of existence for me.
The next one. "Smell" is a song by (Yasuyuki) Okamura. The one who talked first about that collaboration...
Wasn't me.
It was Tanaka-san (director), right ?
At first, I was like : what ?? Since I couldn't imagine that at all. I had the occasion to listen to Okamura-san's music, but when it's about to take part in it oneself...
I guess that we feel like that at the beginning.
But after the songs were made and listening to them, I immediately felt at ease. Two or three songs were presented to me, and it seems that people around me were the most worried for that one (laughs).
Hahahahaha. I can understand them.
But after listening to it, I said : I like that one. I thought that we could obtain a dubious impression. It has something void, and also wet.
Kind of erotic.
I really like it. I'd like to take advantage of this opportunity to say that it's a great song.
You should say it to the concerned person (laughs).
Ah, the other day I told that to Okamura-san (laughs).
At the moment where you listened to it, did you imagine the kind of situation which appears in the lyrics ?
Sex oriented.
Kukukuku.
That almost made me want to say: it's thank to eroticism that I can go on living ! Completely.
Changing radically from such song, the next one's title is "MĂ€rchen".
All is in the title, I wished that there was a mÀrchen-like song. Maybe I thought about a balance. Since the main character has a very realistic side in the whole album.
For "Hallelujah !", what did you think when you listened to the music ?
It's a type of music that I really like.
The lyrics are near to what you just talked about for "Taiji".
Yes, it has finally become like that too.
Particularly when you say : "Trembling, tearing the membrane, being born I'm falling".
In this album, we can feel that I try to liberate my complexes, frictions, gaps, consciousness of myself, all these things that tangle in me.
Is it something that you thought about for the first time since you are in this position of a solo work ?
Ah, I probably had no occasion to think about these things in my band, and there was no need to do that. Because of that, this came out in a straight way this time.
You thought : "let's undress, let's undress".
Maybe it's easier to understand if I compare myself to the band. So, wearing beautiful clothes, making up, using hair spray, wearing brand new boots... that's what is to be a band (laughs). I'm not in an environment where I must adapt myself to the band, I haven't either the need to do that, so I can wear any clothes that I want.
That way we can see you using more hair spray than before, also using nothing and just wearing pajamas.
That's why I can also feel a bit embarrassed. More than before. Though I shouldn't be like that.
"Shingetsu (note : new moon)" is a new collaboration with Masami Tsuchiya since "Mori no hito (note : forest people)".
The band's groove is wonderful. It' brilliant. But (chuckles) when I was recording the vocal part, Tsuchiya-san said : "this is a vampire song, isn't it ?" I was probably really absent-minded, I said : ah now that you said that, that's true.
Since you say : "The morning sun kills me".
It finally kills. With a feeling such as : but why can't you understand me ! Between two human beings, two animals which can hardly understand each other. I say that I expect too much from the other. And say to myself that I shouldn't be like that. Such reproach appears too.
It's true that people tend to expect too much from many things. Then they can live a disillusion like their expectations can be fulfilled and they feel happy. Things hardly go the way we wished.
And we don't want to give up either, saying that this is life.
"Yokan (note : presentiment)" was included in "Dance 2 noise" too.
Actually, I wanted this song to be listened by many other persons, so I myself asked for it. It's a song that I really love, and among the persons that I like, many like it too.
It already dates back almost 10 years. Do you remember when you did it ?
Yes I do. Since it was just one song, and I was the only one, so I felt at ease, but I had the impression that the recording session ended very quickly there. I think that I stayed there for 3 days, but knowing that I could work with Xymox, I was excited, in London.
"Wakusei" (note : planet)" is a song by Kishida (Kenji / vocal & guitar of the band Wakusei). Did you know his band ?
I saw their live on television last year, and I had something like a trigger, I found them cool. Then I had the occasion to meet him at the end of the year, at the new year celebration, and we talked to each other. So when I was asked : who do you want to work with for this album ? I said that first I would like a song from this person.
The phrase "Ai no wakusei (note : planet of love)" from that song is also the album title.
It's really maddening (laughs), but the first one to have said it was Tanaka-san. We still had time to think about it, but he said that before me. I thought that I couldn't find something better, so I accepted docilely. Hahahaha...... it's frustrating.
It's true that the album is faithful to that title. There are various situations, various characters, there are the ones who act avidly like there are the ones who are upright, it's very various, but the whole is concluded by the word "love".
Yes.
When you, Sakurai-san, express honestly yourself with words, this one comes out.
Usually, maybe I feel embarrassed and avoid them, but there are various situations, right ? And if what is there is only love and I'm convinced of that, I wouldn't have used them. Sad love, impossible love, hopeless love, there are also many negative aspects in love. So, I felt a bit embarrassed but decided to give that title.
But isn't it because it's there that there is the most reality, that it's for you the only absolute thing ?
Probably. But I think that no one can say that he doesn't need love nor anyone. So... well, I thought that I should name it "Ai no wakusei" for the reserved, timid ones.
But that's you !
Ahahahahaha, absolutely (laughs).
See. But when you dig into yourself more deeply to sing about yourself, you go in that direction, right ?
Yes, I finally go there. It's like, even if I turn my back on it, I realize that I finally wander there (laughs). Since love itself isn't something that exists in front of us. We can't feel the sensation to hold it in our hands. I think that that's why I feel attracted by it. And it's something that can't be seen.
It's only in yourself that you can find a correct answer.
Yes. That's why I think that it's something dangerous, like it can be hope. When I try to ask for help, I inevitably go there. Maybe it's something that I can have as energy...I can't hold it, but maybe it's something close to drugs.
It's certainly this kind of thing, since it's something that fascinates you, and can on the contrary have a very negative effect.
That's why it's something interesting, or rather seductive. It's not something unstable, and as a source of energy it can work on many persons. Something that we can't stop, and for this kind of persons it can become an addiction (laughs).
Can you resist the withdrawal symptoms (laughs) ?
When I have withdrawal symptoms I need it... You know, with my energy I could distribute electricity to the whole world.
Hahahahahaha. And the song which abundantly receives such Atsushi Sakurai's love is the last one, "Neko (note : cat)".
I'm a fond parent (laughs). But, the cat doesn't know anything, but sees everything... That's actually the only thing that I wanted to say.
When you say "Everyone has to be happy", these are strong words. Do you mean that the cat knows even that ?
Yes. Any person once born will die. Until that, it would be good if every one could be happy, I really think that. After completing this album, I have the impression that such feeling has become even more strong.
--fin
translation: hyluko [livejournal] scans: tigerpal [livejournal]
NOTE: these translations are not mine also might not be very accurate. i took them from hylukoâs site using the wayback machine. thought theyâre great to share. if the owner is around and wants me to take them down i will!
#ăăŻăăŻ#æ«»äșæŠćž#æăźææ#Buck-Tick#Atsushi Sakurai#Ai no Wakusei#translation#Ongaku to hito#this was very compelling to read
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To The Sky
Seto Yutaka/Mimura Shinji Battle Royale 12000~ words. Sfw.
Yutaka Seto is just an ordinary human trying to find his place in the world after a tragedy reshapes the way he looks at life. Shinji is not a human, not ordinary, and more than ready to reshape Yutakaâs life to better his own. The Greeed are monsters formed by human desire and will consume everything in their path if nobody stops them. Yutaka has the will and Shinji has the power. Of course, things are always so much more complicated than that. A crossover with Kamen Rider OOO.
He learns earlier on that humans are creatures not to be trusted.
Truth be told, he doesnât choose to assist him because he trusts him in the first place, but he wants an assured place by his side, a chance to reign strong and powerful for the rest of his life. Even with the burning desire overcoming his logic and pushing him to destroy the very people who viewed him as both a treacherous beast and a magnificent god, he would have been content. Even with his tenth medal removed from his body, even with his place as the King of the Birds ripped from his grasp for something as ridiculous as power, he would have been content.
Shinji would have done anything to live out the rest of his life in whatever niche of the world he could carve out for himself.
That means placing his hand in the hand of the man who ripped the tenth medal from his body, who turned him into the wretch he would become. That means believing that he could put faith in a living being for the first time in his entire life. The only living creatures he had ever trusted had been his feathered brethren, and this by and large has not changed.
He does not trust the King, but he believes in him because he has to.
As a Greeed, he should have known that the Kingâs lust for power would grow too strong for him to avoid for long. Still, when the familiar hand punches through his chest, taking his breath away with it, he is almost brought to his knees in shock. Pain resonates through every medal in his body, and a metallic taste coats the inside of his mouth. If Greeed could bleed, he would be coughing up crimson as his organs were crushed from within.
âYou have served me well,â the King informs him even as Shinji wavers on his feet, his entire body singing with agony at the pressure in his chest, the searching fingers finding the very core of his being. His red medals, ringed with gold. âAnd you have fulfilled your end of the bargain just as you said you would.â
âWhy?â The single word is all he can muster the strength for, his vision blurring, the seams of his body beginning to fray. Without his medals, he cannot possibly hold himself together for long.
The King smiles at him, and the hand within his chest twists so that the pain is tenfold and Shinji can feel the edges of the world darkening, can feel the muscles in his legs weakening. âBecause I crave power, and you are all that stands in my way.â
When the King rips the medals from his body, Shinjiâs entire being begins to dissolve. Itâs with all he has left in him that he sends one of his own arms forward even as the King prepares a Scanning Charge with his beloved TaToBa combo.
For hundreds of years after, there is darkness.
Yutaka Seto had only wanted to fulfill the duties of this particular part time job so he would have a little extra cash on his person. He did not expect to find a bright red medal on the floor, he did not expect to be assaulted by a talking disembodied hand, and he did not expect to be forced into becoming a being far stronger than any human could ever hope to be. But at the insistence of the handâ Seriously, since when do hands talk?â He had done as he was asked.
Besides, he has always wanted to help people. This disgusting bug monster, whatever it is, is scaring people, frightening people, hurting people, so it only feels natural to step in and stop the beast from hurting anyone else. Even if that means taking orders from a talking hand and having some strange stone become a metallic belt around his waist.
He doesnât have a chance to check on the detective who had been so kind to him about the entire situation with the museum blowing up. And he still feels partially responsible for that considering he was supposed to be one of the guards on duty that night. By the time heâs cancelled his transformation into whatever that had been, by the time he spots the detectiveâs lifeless body lying on the asphalt, it is far too late. He can feel that in his bones.
âI can use this body,â the arm informs him, and he watches in disbelief as the arm attaches itself to the detective, as his dark hair suddenly burns a strange dark gold. The man who stands before him looks like the detective, but that isnât quite right either, because his face is subtly different, and his entire attitude is a mismatch. âYou are staring at me.â
Yutaka throws his hands up in the air. âYouâre a talking hand! I think I have the right to stare.â
âMy name is Shinji.â The manâ handâ whatever he is walks dangerously close to Yutaka, and every inch of his body exudes danger. In an ideal world, this is someone Yutaka would have been able to avoid at all costs.
âShinji,â Yutaka repeats slowly. âIâm Yutaka Seto. Just what the hell is going on?â
Shinji ignores him, rolling his shoulders, cracking his neck. âI must have a talent for this. I havenât been around your kind for eight hundred years and yet I was able to pick the second OOO all on my own. You should feel lucky you were able to withstand the strain.â
âIs the detective okay?â Yutaka demands.
âHe will be as long as Iâm using his body. Consider yourself lucky I like it well enough to keep it.â Shinji grasps the collar of Yutakaâs shirt in his hand, only it goes from being a normal human hand to a rainbow-hued set of claws within seconds. âYou will fight with me.â
Yutaka would argue, but he wants to keep people safe. Itâs all he wants. âIâll do my best,â he says.
The suggestion, to the surprise of no one, Ryuheiâs. It had taken him very little observation to realize that Shinji had an advantage over them with his rapidly growing knowledge of the human world. For the first time, Ryuhei is forced to admire him. He was able to assimilate well enough into the human population to find a way to work with them, using their technology to his advantage and even finding the human capable of becoming the second OOO.
That is an obstacle that even Ryuhei did not believe him capable of overcoming, not when the King had been there the entire time. And it was true that Shinji had aligned himself with him, but Ryuhei would have expected Shinji to veer sharply away from anyone capable of holding that power once again. After all, it was that thirst for power that led to their sealing in the first place.
The human form he chooses is hardly one that would draw attention to itself, and he rather likes that fact. The lack of height will be a problem he will have to deal with, but as he combs his fingers through his long silvery gold hair, he realizes it feels not unlike the tendrils that snake down his back in his Greeed form.
âIs everyone satisfied with their bodies then?â he asks, eyeing where Sho sits perched on the bar, an atrocious green leather jacket outlining the broadness of his shoulders.
âThis one will have to do,â Sho informs him, studying his reflection in a small mirror in his hands. âIt isnât anything quite as magnificent as my true form, but itâs satisfactory enough.â
âI rather like this form. It has its charms.â Sakura lounges on a worn chair, running her fingers through her short hair, while Kazuhiko lounges with his head in her lap, looking perfectly at home. âKazuhiko likes his, too, I believe. Donât you?â
He smiles up at her, taking her hand in his and pressing a kiss to her knuckles. âI do.â
âThese bodies will give us a chance to observe human beings without being easily detected, and it should be easy to create Yummies when we donât look out of place.â Ryuheiâs mind is already whirring into action with the many things they can accomplish with these bodies. âOne way or another, we will defeat Shinji and get our Core Medals back.â
Sakura clicks her tongue at him. âWeâve resurrected with a low number of Cell Medals as well. Shall I make a Yummy for us to feast on while we wait?â
âHmmâŠâ Ryuhei weighs the pros and cons in his head rapidly before giving her a short nod. âYes, that would benefit us and it should challenge them. It was one thing for OOO to deal with a single Yummy. He might not be able to handle the way that yours evolve.â
Sakuraâs smile is razor sharp as her body glitters silver before solidifying as her true Greeed form, the very personification of the sea. âIâll return shortly, then.â
âHavenât you had enough of those already?â Yutaka asks, eyeing the popsicle in Shinjiâs hand as he arranges the crimson satin over the top of the bunk beds, tucking it here and loosening it there, making little noises in the back of his throat as he works. âYou know, Shuyaâs body is going to need more than just sweets to heal. You canât just feed him this garbage.â
Shinji clicks his tongue at him, brandishing the popsicle at Yutakaâs face. âYou donât tell me what to do. I donât take orders from you, human.â
âIâm not ordering you to do anything, and itâs not âhuman.â Itâs âYutaka,â and if you want me to be your partner, youâre going to have to get used to calling me by name,â Yutaka says firmly. âThis isnât your body. Youâre just borrowing it, right? So treat it nicely. For Norikoâs sake.â
âI donât like that girl,â Shinji mutters before sticking his popsicle in his mouth.
The comment makes Yutaka frown. As far as heâs concerned, Noriko has been nothing but gracious to them even after she found out that an inhuman entity had taken control of her brotherâs nearly-dead body. Shuya had almost died in the crash caused by the Yummy that Yutaka had fought first, and Shinji stepping in had saved him, but of course it had a cost. Heâs been nothing but rude, even though Noriko had even helped Yutaka find some temporary employment here. The orphanage, ran by a lovely woman named Ryoko, would have been out of his reach if Noriko had not all but begged for them to have somewhere to stay.
The work is good as far as Yutaka is concerned. He loves children, and itâll give him a chance to earn some money until heâs prepared to travel once again. It eases the ache in his chest just a little, makes the face so vivid in his memory feel a little less painful to gaze upon. And itâs difficult not to when her face is on the inside of his eyelids every time he goes to sleep.
âYou have to be nice to the children, too,â Yutaka insists, frowning when Shinji just rolls his eyes. âNo, donât do that. Youâre lucky to have found me, and weâre lucky to have found this. You need to learn to be grateful for the things you have. Including that body.â
Shinjiâs hand when he grips Yutaka by the front of his shirt is once again clawed and scaled, his eyes burning as he leans down so theyâre face-to-face. âFine. I will consider eating something that is not popsicles today. But I make no promises about the children.â
âThen just stay away from them,â Yutaka suggests.
This time, Shinji releases him and turns stiffly around. âFine with me. I was never cut out to raise nestlings in the first place.â
Something in his voice makes Yutaka wonder if he might be lying.
The thing is, Shinji doesnât think the humanâs body can handle the strain. Even the King had shown signs of fatigue when faced with the true Combos, and Gatakiriba is a particularly difficult one to master. Shoâs Core Medals have always been a little stronger and a little tougher than, say, Sakuraâs or Kazuhikoâs, and so Shinji was certain that as soon as the green medals synced together, Yutaka would drop faster than anything else. So heâs pleasantly surprised when the human doesnât immediately drop and, in fact, performs the Scanning Charge.
Itâs one thing to use the final, most powerful Scanning Charge with mismatched medals. Even TaToBa, despite being such a flawless multicolor combo, is hardly as powerful as any of the others. But Yutaka does it just the same, and Shinji has to shield his eyes from the flash of green light that nearly blinds him.
It doesnât surprise him, then, when Yutaka falls to the ground as soon as the transformation is broken. It doesnât matter so much, considering theyâve won this battle, but Shinji curses and hurries to his side just the same. He canât let something happen to the human heâs using.
âThat was really something,â Yutaka says, sprawled out on the concrete, exhaustion clear in his eyes. âAre they all that powerful, then?â
âTch. I should have warned you previously but I would have thought you were smart enough to pick up on the reason why we were mixing the Core Medals in the first place. I expect too much out of humanity even with all of your technological advances.â Just the same, Shinji offers his hand, and when Yutaka takes it, he grips his hand firmly and pulls him to his feet. Heâs at the perfect height to ruffle Yutakaâs hair. âStill, you were able to stand it. Congratulations.â
Yutaka wavers on his feet for just a moment before he gets his footing once again, curiosity alight in his eyes. âWhat is your Core Medal combo like, then?â
Before Shinji can answer, Noriko interrupts them, throwing her arms around Yutaka and squeezing him tightly. Almost too tightly. âThank goodness youâre all right. I thought you were hurt when you fell down. Are you okay?â
âA little worn out, but Iâm otherwise fine,â Yutaka assures her, and the soft smile he gives her makes Shinji roll his eyes, twisting himself away from them.
âHe was exhausted by the toll it took on his body to bear a more powerful combo than the one he is used to. That is all.â He snaps the words, ignoring the disapproving sound Noriko makes behind him. âOnce heâs used to using them, it will take very little for him to learn to maximize their potential. Letâs go. Thereâs no reason to hang around here.â
âWait just a minute,â Noriko calls out. âYutakaâs tired. We canât just hurry awayââ
âI donât care if heâs tired.â Shinji whirls around, giving her the full force of his glare. âHeâs a tool, nothing more. Now letâs go.â
He pretends to miss the flash of hurt in Yutakaâs eyes.
Kyoichi Motobuchi is an interesting human being. Most of them have been rather dull, and though Ryuhei has found the new OOO interesting, he is an opponent to be defeated and not someone to be observed closely. Shinji can sense their presence, can sense the Yummies they make to replenish themselves, but Kyoichi is much more interesting anyway. The strange painting in his office depicting the end of the world draws Ryuheiâs interest the first time he appears in the room, startling the good doctor quite badly, which only amuses him.
This time when he appears, hovering over Kyoichiâs shoulder, the man hardly glances back at him, more focused on the work in front of him. âWhat do you want this time, Greeed?â
âHow rude you are even after Iâve given you my name. I came here to offer you something, so I thought you might be interested in what I have for you.â Ryuhei waits for Kyoichi to turn around, not surprised to see the quizzical glance being sent to him from over the top of a pair of glasses. âYou want Core Medals, yes? You have your own plan for all of this.â
Kyoichi is silent for a good, long moment. âThat I do.â
âYour picture is very obvious in more ways than one.â Ryuhei admires the painting for a moment before leaning closer to the doctor, pleased when he does not shrink away. âI want the same. Core Medals. Mine, in particular. I donât necessarily care what I have to do to get them.â
Silence stretches between them before Kyoichi spins his chair fully around, tenting his fingers in front of him, tilting his head back as if to observe Ryuheiâs expression. âYou cannot possibly understand the scope of my vision for the future. It is simply beyond your imagining.â
âThe end of the world, as it is, is what you desire. That, I can give to you. Fully restored, I would have the power to consume everything.â Ryuhei smirks. After all, itâs in the very nature of a Greeed to consume everything before them.
âFull restoration would not give me what I seek. I would need you to be willing to do more than that,â Kyoichi says, already turning back around. Heâs done with this meeting, then.
Ryuhei walks around in front of him, perching on the edge of his desk, picking up one of the many Cell Medals littering his crowded desk. âIf you need a Greeed willing to become more than itself⊠A monster of sorts⊠I will do that for you.â
âEven if it means losing yourself in the process?â Kyoichi asks.
Ryuhei sniffs. âI wonât. I have no intention to do such a thing. But I will help you as you need, and I will get you the pieces you need to make your vision come to life. No one else is offering you this. My brethren wonât come to your aid. Will you accept my offer?â
Kyoichi is quiet for a moment. âI suppose it will have to do.â
The man who emerges from the strange suit is nothing like Yutaka expects him to be, and from the way Shinji shifts next to him, folding and unfolding and refolding his arms, he clearly was not expecting to see this either. The man who stands before them is rough around the edges, a scar bisecting his eyebrow, and more scars peeking from beneath the sleeves of his t-shirt. Itâs unusual to see such a man involved in this situation, and stranger still when he hands them a manual, the cover announcing him as Kamen Rider Birth.
âWho are you, exactly?â Yutaka asks, flipping through the manual uncertainly.
âMy name is Shogo Kawada,â the man says, his Kansai accent impossible to ignore, and Shinji makes a noise at the sound of it. âIâm here to fight the Yummies and collect the Cell Medals. A simple enough concept to grasp, I would think.â
âAre you implying weâre too stupid to understand something that simple?â Shinji demands.
Shogo rolls his eyes. âI can see how this one is right out of the gate,â he says before turning his attention fully to Yutaka. âIâm not trying to make this harder than it has to be. Iâm getting a commission for the medals I bring in. My goal is to bring in a hundred million.â
âThat much,â Yutaka says, eyes widening, astounded by the number. What could a man like Shogo need with all of that money? He hardly seems the type to want itâŠ
âThat much,â Shogo agrees with a nod. âSo Iâll be taking all of the medals from our battles and sending them back to the Hayashida Foundation. Understood?â
Shinji makes an offended noise, stepping forward, almost pushing himself against Shogoâs chest in the process. âIâd like to see you try. Youâll be fighting to get them away from me, and Iâm not going to let you just take them from me whether you like it or not.â
Yutakaâs gaze moves when he sees movement out of the corner of his eye, and he leaves the two to argue as he hurries to catch up with Hiroki Sugimura. The Hayashida Foundation employee has butted heads with them more than once, and heâs almost injured Yutaka more than once trying to fight, but he knows someone in trouble when he sees them.
âHiroki, wait,â he calls out. âWhatâs wrong?â
Hiroki stops for just a moment, then turns around and fixes Yutaka with an almost helpless smile. âThatâs the kind of man who can fight alongside you and protect the world. Itâs not me. Itâs never been me no matter how badly I wanted it. Iâve seen enough. I need to do some thinking.â
Yutaka stands and watches him board his bike and leave, not sure what to say. He can hear Shinji and Shogo arguing behind him and sighs, turning around to put out the fire before it can climb any higher than it already has.
The last time Shinji had seen his combo in the hands of a human, it had been the man who ripped the Core Medals from his chest and nearly ended his life when he was at the height of his power. When Yutaka had asked him about this combo, he had been mercifully spared from having to tell him anything about it; the truth of the matter is that it feels too intimate and too personal to share this combo with Yutaka. The man is nothing but a tool for Shinji to regain his former glory, and this is not exactly how he wanted to do it.
But the moment Yutaka places the three medals into his belt and scans the combo, even Shinji finds himself momentarily brought to his knees even if it is only figuratively. He stumbles for just a moment to watch the peacockâs tail of flaming feathers arrive, to watch OOO take to the sky with wings of fire. To watch Yutaka make use of the power that once belonged to him, and to use it so effectively⊠Shinji is not sure how to feel or how to process this.
Of course, it does not surprise him when Yutaka immediately falls as soon as the transformation is cancelled, and this time Shinji finds himself bolting to the manâs side, helping him sit up. âAre you okay? That was incredibly too risky.â
âI never would have guessed it was like that,â Yutaka says, and the way he looks up at Shinji makes the Greeed cringe away from him. âYou were really that powerful.â
âAnd I will be again if you help me collect all of my Core Medals,â he says, trying to deflect the conversation before it can happen. This is the last thing he wants to discuss.
But Yutaka refuses to let it go and fists a hand in Shinjiâs jacket, though his grip is weak and shaky, his strength diluted from how hard he had to fight. âYou⊠Must have been amazing back then. I canât imagine how he could have⊠How anyone could have turned on you, andââ
âYouâve said too much,â Shinji snaps, cutting the conversation off before it can begin.
But Yutaka only scowls at him and gives his shirt a weak tug. âDonât interrupt me when Iâm trying to talk to you. I⊠Look, I know you donât trust me. I get it. You donât trust humans because of what happened back then. I donât really think that I can blame you for that, and Iâm not going to. I get it now. You had all of that taken away fromââ
Shinji shoves him away, pushing himself to his feet. He was stupid to try to help him. âYouâll never understand what itâs like to be me.â
âMaybe not,â Yutaka says, and only the soft tone of his voice stalls Shinjiâs angry footsteps. âBut now that I see what youâre fighting for, itâs inspired me to fight that much harder to help you get it back. No matter what it takes, Shinji, I promise you.â
He wants to trust Yutaka. Itâs his most damning flaw of all.
Logically speaking, he knows this is only the power of the Yummy in effect, and he knows that Kawada is the exception to the rule and not proof that the charm only affects certain people. Every mortal who has seen the woman has fallen for her, and Shinji knows it is normal that Yutaka is not immune to the womanâs charms. That being said, nothing stops his furious pacing across their shared bedroom floor while he listens to Yutaka crooning to Noriko and Ryoko, who have done their best to humor his fledgling infatuation.
Kawada finds him pacing the room and watches with an amused expression from the doorway. âYou know that he isnât really interested in Izumi, right? Itâs just the Yummy thatâs giving her the power of beauty. He doesnât really like her, Shinj.â
âItâs Shinji. You have no right to call me anything but that.â Shinji whirls on him, his skin itching, his fists curling with the desire to hit something. âAs far as Iâm concerned, this is all your fault. That woman is involved with you. We would have had no business with her otherwise.â
âThe Yummy is whatâs caused this, you know. You would have had to involve yourselves and this would have happened no matter what,â Kawada snaps right back.
A low growl rises in the back of Shinjiâs throat. âI should find the woman myself and kill her to rid him of anything to do with his attraction to her. It might be enough to set him free from the spell and enable him to fight. Damn you, how can he possibly fight like this? Heâs useless to me.â
âYou donât mean that, I know you donât. You would have abandoned him the moment you thought he was truly useless, taken the belt and the Core Medals, and left him here to rot.â Kawada catches him by the front of his jacket and hauls him in close, and Shinji glares full in his face, unafraid of the consequences. âYouâre upset because heâs got a fuckinâ crush that was caused by a Yummy. Youâre jealous, Shinj. And you arenât used to it.â
Shinji scoffs at him. âWhat in the world would I have to be jealous about?â
âYou should be smart enough to figure that out without me having to spell it out in black and white to you, you know. Nothing about this has ever been difficult. You just made it that way.â Kawada pushes him back and Shinji runs his hands down his front, smoothing his jacket. âHold out for the end of this, all right? Heâll be back to his old self as soon as this Yummy is defeated, and itâs got one of my friends under its hold, so Iâm not gonna let it win.â
âFine.â Shinji huffs. âI guess I donât have a choice.â
Yutaka pursues him long after they have returned home, dodging around children that reach toward him with eager hands, wanting to play after heâs been gone for so long. Some of them are still insistent on reaching for Shinji, but he brushes them off without a second glance. The tense set of his shoulders and the jerky movements of his steps say more about him than any words heâs spoken so far. When has Shinji ever looked so odd before?
âI donât understand,â Yutaka finally says once theyâve reached the backyard, grabbing Shinji by the shoulder. He makes no move to turn him around, knowing all too well what happened the last time he did that when Shinji was angry. Noriko had been furious as she stitched up his shirt. âYou said you wanted a complete and stronger body, right?â
Shinji says nothing at first, though the shoulder beneath Yutakaâs hand is stiff and unyielding in more ways than one. Only when Yutaka squeezes his shoulder as tightly as possible does Shinji finally turn to look at him. âThat is what I want. Itâs my end goal. My everything.â
âThen why do you only look dissatisfied no matter how many steps we take to get to that goal? Iâm doing my best for you. Iâm just one person against four Greeed,â Yutaka says. He knows his voice is close to a whine now, but the constant fighting has left him exhausted. If he had not sworn to help Shinji regain his former glory, he isnât sure he could keep fighting.
He wants to save the world if he can. He understands Hirokiâs desire to do the same from a very personal standpoint. But Shinji is here and immediate and every day he lives in Shuyaâs body is just another chance that Yutaka canât return him to Noriko like he promised.
Shinji shakes his head and lowers himself into one of the outdoor chairs, resting his head in his hands. âI just want to regain my body. You promised me that would be possible. As long as you give me your body to fight, I will ask nothing else of you.â
The silence between the two of them is heavy, a dark cloud hanging over Yutakaâs head and leaving him unable to figure out what he is supposed to say to disperse it. Something in the set of Shinjiâs shoulders feels defeated even though there is no reason for them to feel defeated right now. Instead, they should feel elated. Every step backward has only been met with steps forward and as long as the two of them continue to fight, they will overcome. Yutaka knows this better than anyone.
In the end, he goes back inside and leaves Shinji to his thoughts. He would stay by his side, but he knows that isnât his place. Heâs just the human who swore to stay by Shinjiâs side; Shinji never really wanted him there.
The finer details of their partnership have been interesting to explore, at least from Ryuheiâs side of the bargain. Kyoichi is unlike the other humans he has met, far removed from any true sense of humanity. In fact, he would rather see it all destroyed and be here at the end of all things to traverse the wasteland left behind until he too deteriorates and fades into nothingness. Personally, Ryuhei cannot see the satisfaction that can come from such a thing, but as he has been reminded, he isnât mortal, and he doesnât have a way to wrap his mind around the various intricacies of life that Kyoichi supposedly has.
At least, this is what he tells Ryuhei when the conversation veers into that direction. Heâs an interesting human to observe, even when Ryuhei has to watch from a distance when Kawada returns to the lab to bother Kyoichi. The two of them could not be any different, Kawadaâs friendly and invasive nature keeping Kyoichiâs anxious and stressed self off balance as often as possible. Ryuhei doesnât know why Kyoichi still bothers to work alongside him.
âIâd like to know what you want in life,â he says when the two of them are alone, flipping a Cell Medal up into the air, watching it spin blurring silver before landing back in his palm. He wonders how a humanâs vision must differentiate from his. His human form is merely an extension of his power. He doesnât possess human senses like Shinji.
Kyoichi doesnât look up from his computer screen, fingers dancing across the keys, hardly sparing Ryuhei so much as a glance. âYou know that I want. We have already discussed it previously. There is nothing more for you to learn.â
âHuman desires interest me. The scope of them, the range, the core⊠Itâs a fascinating existence to lead, being human, isnât it? I wonder what such a thing must be like.â Ryuhei catches the medal when it comes back down, squeezing it tight between his fingers. âYou lead long and confusing lives with so many layers of memories. Sometimes it seems boring to me, but it spawns such interesting desires. I canât help but be interested by the complexity.â
Something in his words must tell Kyoichi that something is about to happen, but by the time he turns around to face Ryuhei properly, the coin slot has already appeared in his forehead. Without a moment of hesitation, Ryuhei tosses the coin, watching it clink into place, watching the Yummy stumble forth from Kyoichiâs body and make its way into the world.
âWhy did you do that?â Kyoichi asks coolly.
âAll a matter of observation. I want to see what you desire in your heart of hearts, and to do so, Iâm going to watch that Yummy very carefully.â Ryuhei cocks his head, offering a fang-toothed smile. âAfter all, weâre partners, arenât we?â
âYou never told me why your kind exist, you know,â Yutaka tells Shinji one day, balancing one toddler on his hip while an older girl clings to his leg, her cheek pressed against his pants. Shinji himself has an older boy perched on his back, and Yutaka tries not to think about how much Shinji has overcome his own issues in order to grow closer to the children. Heâs almost a natural, as strange as it seems.
âThe Greeed?â Shinji frowns at him. âI told you about the King, didnât I?â
Yutaka nods. âYou told me that he took your Core Medals and became the first OOO. But youâve never really said why. Is there a reason why the Greeed were created?â
Understanding dawns on Shinjiâs features and he nods, smiling as a young girl brings him one of his popsicles from the freezer, holding one in her own hand. She doesnât shy away from Shinjiâs Greeed arm at all when itâs revealed, just runs her fingers over the feathers along his forearm before hurrying off to play with the others. Shinji has become an integral part of the orphanage, has tended to the children with a tenderness that Yutaka did not believe possible of him. That more than anything makes him want to know why anyone would take someone who seems as kind as Shinji has become and turn them in a monster.
Shinji unwraps his popsicle thoughtfully, taking a lick of it before addressing Yutakaâs question. âBecause the King wanted to become a god, and he wanted our powers to do it.â
That should be less surprising than it is. âIâm sorry. You didnât deserve to have that happen.â
âIf we had met in a different life, I think you might have actually liked me,â Shinji muses before hefting the boy a bit higher on his back. âI promised this one and his friends that I would play with them today, and I havenât sensed a Yummy just yet, so Iâm going to make good on my promise. Noriko said something about you going shopping with her.â
Yutaka nods and watches Shinji leave the house, his arms hanging by his sides. Heâs startled when Noriko walks up to him and pats him on the shoulder. âWhat is it?â
Noriko cocks her head at him. âSomething is wrong, isnât it?â
âI justâŠâ He waves his hand toward where the door is, knowing he doesnât need to specify who this conversation is about. Noriko just knows. âHe said I might have liked him if Iâd met him before he became a Greeed.â
âAnd?â Noriko presses, raising her eyebrows at him. âWhatâs so wrong with saying that?â
Yutaka smiles bitterly. He would have thought he had made it perfectly obvious to everyone by this point. âNori⊠How am I supposed to tell him that I like him just the way he is right now?â
Noriko says nothing, just sways closer to him and wraps her arms around his waist.
âI finally realized why you seemed so familiar to me,â Shogo tells him when he comes over to play with the kids. Though he keeps insisting he doesnât like children, that hasnât stopped him from showing up periodically to play with the orphans.
This afternoon, Hiroki has come with him. The two of them make an effective team in battle with Hiroki providing the perfect back-up that Shogo needs to do his job as Birth, and though Shinji still turns up his nose at their help and hates that they take the medals he needs to replenish his body, Yutaka is glad to have them here. Having their help has been vital to this mission. All Yutaka wants to do is help people, and Shogo needs money. Their goals have at least intersected their missions, and Yutaka is more than grateful.
That being said, Shogoâs words make his stomach tighten and then drop. âI was afraid someone would recognize me after a while.â
âGetting held for a ransom in the middle of a civil war only to have your parents use the tragedy of the deaths of people you were friends with to further their career in politicsâŠâ Shogo trails off and Yutaka clenches his fists. âI wish I could tell you just how sorry I am, Seto.â
Yutaka laughs even as tears sting the backs of his eyes. âNo one can ever really fix it anyway, you know. Theyâd still be dead no matter what. I couldnât⊠I couldnât save them.â
âI know that. And I wouldnât have expected that of you. Some things are too great for the shoulders of one man, after all.â Shogo stretches out a hand and squeezes Yutakaâs shoulder, and Yutaka shrugs it off. âIf Iâve crossed a line, then Iâm sorry.â
Yutaka could explain to him that heâs already crossed all of the acceptable lines that he could have set just by bringing the memory up. Heâs been doing his best to distance himself from his parents entirely, not wanting anything to do with his family after that incident. He knows he should be grateful that they saved him when they did, but he canât feel anything but anger at the people who tried to use his pain for personal gain. Lives were lost that day. The first friend heâd made in that village, the little girl who was so kind to himâ
Thereâs nothing he can do to change it all. All he can do is keep fighting onward.
Shogo touches his shoulder again, and this time, Yutaka doesnât shrug him off. âDoes Shinji know what happened, or are you keeping it from him?â
âWhy would it matter if he knew or not? You know Iâm just a tool to him, something to be used and discarded when itâs no longer of any use to him.â His words even make himself wince, and he feels bad saying this about the Greeed who is right now tumbling with children in the grass, but he canât help himself. Itâs just the truth.
Shogo sighs. âWhatever you say, kid.â
Kyoichi turning on them and joining forces with Ryuhei is not as surprising to Shinji as it is to everyone else. What does surprise him is the purple Core Medals, the likes of which he has never seen in his entire life. And he only sees them for a bare breath of an instant before they enter Yutakaâs body, fusing with him in the same way that Shinjiâs Core Medals rest within his body. The sight frightens him to his very core, the fact that the human who has fought so hard to help him has now been tainted by something so strange and foreign.
Yutaka is a human. Core Medals should not be able to assimilate within his body. Surely this has to be a trap. And Shinji does not remember such medals, and he would if they had existed when he did. He would have remembered their peculiar color, and moreover, he would have known if there was another Greeed in the world. Where is the Greeed to whom these medals must call, and what would that Greeed do to gain them back?
PuToTyra is somehow more terrifying than the fact that Yutaka has medals inside of him, inside of him where they should never be. Shinji wants to demand to know what the fuck Kyoichi had done to Yutaka, giving him these medals, but he is afraid to find out why. He is afraid to learn of what will become of Yutaka.
The fact he has no control as PuToTyra is bad. Worse is the way he wanders around the orphanage that night, his eyes hollow, something oddly electric about the air around him. Without thinking about it, Shinji pulls him close from behind, pressing his face into Yutakaâs hair and wondering what those Medals must be doing inside of him right now. Are they setting into his skin, his bones, content with their place here? Is there any hope of removing them?
âWhat are you doing?â Yutaka asks him, swaying dangerously in his arms.
âYouâre exhausted and you need to rest,â Shinji tells him, whispering the words into his hair. âIf you donât rest, youâll collapse. I donât know what those are, but theyâve taken a toll on you.â
Yutaka laughs, though the sound is frenzied and without humor. âHow can you possibly last with these things inside of you? What kind of life is this to live?â
âI wish I could give you an answer, but Iâve never been human, Yutaka. Iâm just⊠Just this. Just medals.â Shinji hugs Yutaka tighter, wishes for his wings so that he could keep Yutaka warm when he detects the chill in the humanâs skin. âWeâll figure this out somehow. I promise you that.â
Yutaka turns around in his arms, his own snaking around Shinjiâs waist, and nothing more is said. The two of them stand in the dark kitchen, the only light in the room the moonlight slanting in through the windows. This is all Shinji has to offer Yutaka. He can only hope itâll be enough until they figure out where to go from here.
âYou canât possibly think the three of you can stand against us,â Ryuhei says softly, his eyes wandering between Sakura and Kazuhiko. He had thought the two of them might be dead when they had combined and then collapsed, beaten by the Kamen Rider nuisances. Seeing them again in the flesh is disconcerting. Can they sense their Core Medals beneath his skin, already assimilated to work with his own? Heâs evolved, but can they tell?
Sakura props a hand on her hip, her eyes narrowed at him. âI donât know why we would trust you, either. You let us die once, Ryuhei. Youâre well-known for turning on those who are no longer of any use to you.â
âThatâs true enough, but the two of you could be very useful toward helping Kyoichi and I accomplish our goals,â Ryuhei muses, smirking when he sees the way Shoâs eye twitches at the words. Has Sho told Sakura and Kazuhiko the extent of his betrayal? âSho cannot possibly get you what you want. I can. I have much more to offer you.â
Sho scoffs and takes a step forward, his aura pulsing with annoyance. The air around him bleeds green and Ryuhei tenses, prepared to fight him if he must. âDo you really think anyone is going to trust you after what youâve done? Youâre a traitor just like Shinji.â
âVery well. I suppose playing my trump card will have to do.â Ryuhei retrieves the two Core Medals heâs been keeping on his person. After all, taking too many within his person will only result in him falling apart, and though that is what Kyoichi wants, theyâre going to do things his way until the very end. âI have these. What does Sho have to offer you?â
Sakura and Kazuhikoâs powers twined with his are no match for Sho to stand up against, and maybe he truly believed no one would betray him again. But the flames fill the alley way, a clear sign he should have been more cautious. Ryuhei clicks his tongue, examining the green Core Medals in his palms before tossing Sakura and Kazuhiko their Core Medals.
âWe were lost twice now,â Sakura tells him. âWe donât want to be lost once again.â
Ryuhei smiles thinly at her, slipping Shoâs Core Medals into his pocket. âWell, then, youâve come to the right place. Come back to the mansion with me, now. Kyoichi will be thrilled to find out we have more help to accomplish our end goal.â
Truth be told, he doubts Kyoichi wants more people in his home, but once he realizes these two are carrying Core Medals, he will see the use for them. Â Ryuhei will make him realize it one way or another, just like always.
To describe what Hiroki feels as devastation would be too light of a way to frame the situation; Shogoâs betrayal and defection to Kyoichiâs side leaves him uncertain of where to go from here. After all, the two of them had been friends. They had been close, able to confide in one another, or at least Hiroki had felt comfortable confiding in Shogo. Perhaps everything he had confessed, perhaps all of the pain he had let free to the older man is just an elaborate lie.
That doesnât stop him from fighting for him just the same, fighting to make him realize the truth, unable to leave him behind, unable to let him suffer. He had promised not to let him become what he was now when he found out the truth of Shogoâs injury, about the bullet embedded in his scalp. He had promised not to let Shogo die, and in the end, Shogo becoming this kind of man is a death in and of itself. Hiroki is determined to save him.
Becoming Birth for the first time should have been a moment to be proud of. Even if it was simply a suit manufactured through the Hayashida Foundation instead of some magic created from alchemy, Hiroki had seen it as his end goal in life. They all had their desires. Shinji wanted his body, Shogo wanted his one hundred million dollars, and Hiroki wanted to save the world.
But donning the Birth suit for the first time is a means to an end. There is nothing to be proud of in this moment as he fights for the first time, intent on being the man Shogo could not end up being in the end. He had promised to protect the world, after all.
Of course, Shogo is fine. And alive and well, despite his injuries. Between defecting to Kyoichi and receiving an injury coverage from the Foundation, he has his money. To get surgery, and to create a hopsital in Africa to help the sick and needy down there.
Hiroki feels foolish for ever doubting him. âI wonât even bother asking for forgiveness. Itâs just as well if you donât give it to me.â
âYou donât have to ask. I played you, remember?â Shogo looks out of place in Hirokiâs apartment but he makes himself right at home, sidling up next to Hiroki on the couch. âAre you going to miss me when I go get the surgery done?â
Of course, Hiroki scoffs. âI would always miss you no matter where you went.â
âThen do me a favor.â Shogo cradles the side of his face, brings their lips together as he has so many times before, Hiroki afraid to do the deed himself. âWait for me.â
âYou donât have to ask. Iâll wait for you.â Hiroki presses their foreheads together, thinks of the volumes of words he wishes he could utters and instead settles on a small smile, nudging his nose against Shogoâs. âI wonât say goodbye because I will see you again.â
Shogo beams at him. âItâs a promise, Sugimura-chan.â
He is the one who tells Noriko that if she had asked him of it when the time had arisen, he would have kicked Shinji out of Shuyaâs body. With the purple Core Medals, he is more than certain he could easily remove Shinji from Shuyaâs body and allow Shuya to live his life. After all, seeing Shuya walking around and spending time with his sister again only reinforces the belief that Yutaka has been carrying with him for far too long. Shuya deserves to have a life, and Noriko deserves her peaceful life with her brother. All any of them have done is jeopardize that.
He told Noriko he would rip Shinji from Shuyaâs body, but to see Shinji absorbed away by the mannequin of his body is still horrifying and painful. And itâs enough to make Yutaka strive to rescue him before the mind that now runs the body can consume Shinji as well.
His body had been mummified when his mind had been sealed away with the other Greeed, and as a result, the body had wandered, developing a mind of its own, believing itself to be the true Shinji. It seems unfair that the first time Yutaka sees Shinjiâs Greeed form, itâs with someone else beneath the feathers and skin. He wanted to see Shinji for who he truly was.
It doesnât end up mattering. The fake Shinji is no match for PuToTyra, and Yutaka marvels at the sight of Shinjiâs rainbow wings flared wide from behind his back. Theyâre shifting in the sunlight and beautiful. And of course, Shinji properly ruins the moment.
âWhat is he doing?â Noriko shrieks when Shinji advances on Shuya.
Yutaka tries to intercept them, but heâs so worn out there is little he can do. He canât beat Shinjiâs speed, after all. âShinji, please, donât do this!â
âI need this body for a while longer,â he hears Shinji tell Shuya as he wraps his hand around his throat and squeezes, his claws strong enough to cut off Shuyaâs air supply in no time. âAnd so Iâm only going to ask this nicely one time. Get out of this body and give it back to me.â
âYou canât do this!â Yutakaâs eyes are wet, tears gushing down his cheeks as he watches Shuya struggle, his legs kicking in the air as his face turns blue. âStop it before you kill him!â
The moment Shuya loses consciousness, Shinji immediately reattaches himself, and his wings flare out once again, the gust knocking Yutaka back on weak and trembling legs. âI donât believe you are in a fit state to argue against me, human.â
âAfter everything I did to give you your body back, after fighting against your doubleâŠâ Yutaka falls to his knees at a loss for words, his emotions fraught, the PuToTyra medals trembling within his core. âShinji, how could you do this?â
Shinji merely takes to the skies and Yutaka watches him go, helpless to stop him.
âI would not have guessed that you would be the one to side with us,â Kyoichi says quietly, pushing his glasses up on the bridge of his nose. âAre you sure you want to do this?â
Shinji leans back against the wall, listening to the sound of Sho and the others getting reacquainted downstairs. With a single Core Medal, Sho was able to reform his body with the right amount of Cell Medalsâ Shinji had come through as he knew he had to to make this plan work. After all, having all of the Greeed here means having all of their Core Medals here. And he needs as many of them as possible, needs all of them, to make this plan work.
âI will do everything in my power to help you achieve your goal as long as you make me a vessel for the Core Medals.â At least itâll be something, consuming the entire world, leaving it a barren wasteland. Itâs as close to a true life as Shinji can ever achieve. âWhat do you want me to do in return? Iâm well aware not everything is free in life.â
Kyoichi clicks his tongue, his eyes flaring violet for just a moment; Shinji takes a small step back in reaction. âI think youâre well aware Iâve embedded five of the purple Core Medals in Setoâs body. They are the antithesis of desire.â
Shinji cocks his head. The antithesis of desire⊠It explained why Yutaka was able to carry the Medals within him even as they slowly began to encroach on his humanity, turning him into the very beings he fought so hard against. It also explained why Shinji had never sensed any humans connected to the purple fantastical Yummies.
âThe purpose of this experiment is to see which of us is better suited to be a carrier of the Medals and thus to assume the power they harness.â Kyoichi pauses, as if giving Shinji time to process his words, but Shinji doesnât have to think about it. He understands.
âAnd you want your Medals back,â he says softly. âYou want me to pull them from his body.â
Kyoichi nods and pushes his glasses up on the bridge of his nose. âI do. I donât care how you do it. It would even be better for all of us if you killed him in the process because then he canât fight back against us anymore, and Birth has trouble handling Greeeds as youâve no doubt seen. But that would only be a bonus. Just help me get my Medals back, and Iâll make you my vessel.â
Shinji nods, flexing his fingers, examining his claws not for the first time. If the opportunity arises for him to kill Yutaka, it would be best to take it. Removing the Core Medals from a human corpse would be far easier than trying to extract them from a living creature, and besides, Yutaka is growing ever closer to becoming a Greeed. Best to play it safe.
âIâll do it,â he agrees.
The power of the PuToTyra combo is nothing like any of them could have imagined. At full power, with his Core Medals restored to his body and coupled with the evolution heâd undergone, the combination of Sakura and Kazuhikoâs medals still inside of him, he should have been more than powerful enough to take on OOO and destroy him. A human could hardly stand up to the power of a Greeed, and the current OOO doesnât even have the power or the strength of the King. He could hardly be expected to know how to handle them.
That being said, when Ryuhei stumbles away from the fight, he can feel the change throughout his body. He can feel the shift of his medals inside of him, the strange fragility that seems to tremor through his body. It makes it hard to take another step. He should be powerful enough to defeat OOO, but now he feels like he may collapse at any second.
What could that mortal have done to me? The thought crosses his mind, but he doesnât come up with a suitable answer before he bumps into Kyoichi in the middle of a dark tunnel. Relief floods through him; so the good doctor had been prepared just in case of this.
âMotobuchi,â he says, gripping the front of his shirt in cat-like claws. He can maintain his Greeed form, but just barely. Just barely. âYou have to make me the vessel before I fall apart.â
Kyoichi stares at him coldly from behind his glasses. âAnd why do I have to do that, exactly?â
âThat was our original agreement,â Ryuhei reminds him, gripping his shirt more firmly, feeling the fabric tear beneath his claws. âI would be your vessel who consumed the world and stand with you at the end of the world. That was what you wanted, what we agreed to.â
He still isnât sure he sees the charm at being the last creature to roam the earth once every living thing has been consumed and there are only memories left behind, but it was what Kyoichi wanted, and Ryuhei had agreed to give it to him. They had become partners for this sole reason, had they not?
Shinji⊠Had the other Greeed truly taken his place in Kyoichiâs scheme? No, surely the mortal was smart enough to know he could never trust Shinji with such a delicateâ
The pain when Kyoichiâs hand punches through his chest is unlike anything he has ever known, the impact shaking him to the core of his being. The pain is unlike anything he has ever felt, the purple Core Medals in Kyoichiâs body causing his to shudder in response. And he had thought nothing could ever hurt a Greeed, not like this.
Kyoichi rips the Core Medals from his body, holding them tight in his fist. âThis is all I need of you. Carry on.â
At the cusp of completion, on the edge of returning to his former power, Ryuheiâs final Core Medal shatters. Itâs as close to death as a pile of medals can truly come.
Yutaka had wanted to seal them away to save them. Even though Shinji insists the Greeed are not living creatures, he canât help but feel for them. Contained within their desire, forced to consume and consume without ever being satisfied, he never wanted to just let them suffer. None of his plans ever included going so far as to kill them. But when the LaToraTar combo proves useless against Sakura in here complete form, he realizes he doesnât have a choice.
It isnât what he wants to do, but if he doesnât stop her⊠The sight of the mothers and their children contained in those watery bubble prisons in Sakuraâs lair is enough to convince him of what he has to do. To save them, he has to defeat her. To stop her from ever growing this strong again, heâll have to kill her. Itâs the only thing he can do to truly free her.
He doesnât know how to feel about her dying in Kazuhikoâs arms, but he expects the two of them would have wanted nothing different. And when Kazuhiko takes off after, Yutaka is too tired to do anything to stop him. Heâs already exhausted from that battle.
âLet me take care of it,â Hiroki says, and he heads off in pursuit without another word. Yutaka stumbles, watching after him, relieved when Noriko catches him by the arm before he can fall. If he falls now, he might now be able to get back up.
âShinjiâs helping them now, then, isnât he?â she asks, and her voice is soft, mournful.
Yutaka straightens his spine, giving her a nod without breaking eye contact. She deserves the honest truth, and Yutaka isnât going to keep it from her. âI promise you Iâll bring Shuyaâs body back, though. No matter what it takes. I wonât let anything happen to him.â
Noriko bites her lip, her eyes torn, and Yutaka understands without her having to tell him. He knows that she doesnât just want Shuya back, but Yutaka canât promise her that Shinji will come back with him. He canât promise that he wonât have to kill Shinji to finally get him to release Shuyaâs body from his hold. Heâll have to do everything he can to save Shuya, even if that means killing the Greeed he truly thought he could call his friend.
He should have known better than to trust Shinji that far. Hadnât he tried to keep his Core Medals away from him, knowing something like this might happen? And at full strength, even though Yutaka had broken three of his medals fighting his imposterâŠ
His hands curl into fists, his resolve hardening. âIâll do whatever I have to do to get Shuya back for you. Shinji chose his side. Itâs time to let him know just what the consequences are.â
Shinji has every intention of killing Yutaka when he and the human finally cross paths again. Kyoichi wants his Core Medals back, and Shinji has made peace with the fact he will likely have to physically dig them out of Yutakaâs dead body. Kyoichi had been unable to get them back when he had finally had the chance to; Yutakaâs will to keep them was far too strong.
Even landing a punch to his still-human face isnât enough to really make Shinji feel bad about what he has to do. âHavenât you ever wanted anything in your miserable life?â he demands, one hand fisted in Yutakaâs shirt, the other pulled back to land another punch.
FIghting in water is not his forte, but the fighting on the beach had led to his, and he just⊠He has to do this, one way or another. If Yutaka makes him do it the hard way, so be it.
âI have,â Yutaka tells him, his hair soaking wet and sticking in wild tendrils to his face, his eyes wide and open and honest, and that makes Shinji flinch more than a potential punch ever could. âI just wanted to help people. I wanted to help everyone all over the world. And you gave me the power to do that, Shinji. Thank you.â
He isnât expecting Kyoichi to add more Core Medals to the mix. He isnât expecting Yutakaâs frail hold on his own humanity to slip, to watch his body morph into that of a Greeed, a scaly purple monster that puts Shinji on his guard immediately. He lets go of his human form as well, adopting the rainbow feathers of his Greeed form, the fire power welling up inside of him, warming him through. So this is it, then. Heâll have to kill Yutaka in his Greeed form and free him from the Medals eating him from the inside out.
Even without all nine of his medals, even with three of them destroyed, Shinji is still stronger. Just the same, when he aims what should be a killing fireball at Yutaka, his mind summons up the image of the human drenched beneath him, looking up at him with eyes that have only ever been kind. Thank you.
He misses. Of course, he misses. Because in the end, he canât do it. He canât kill Yutaka even with so many medals inside of him, threatening to destroy him from the inside out. He canât kill the human who had helped him get his Core Medals back, who fought by his side, who was his friend, who accepted his comfort when things were hardâŠ
He isnât surprised when Kyoichi rips his Core Medals from his chest. It feels like it did then, when the Kingâs fist punched through his chest to the center of his being. But what he doesnât expect is the slight crack in the last Core Medal he still has, a hairline fracture making him so much more fragile.
It only takes a moment for Shinji to accept his inevitable fate.
It would be just as well that Shinji comes to him when heâs surrounded by the others. With so little left to really do to stop Kyoichi, theyâre all together and debating how best to pool their resources in order to stop Kyoichiâs plan. With Sakura and Kazuhiko dead and it obvious that Shinji and Kyoichi are no longer an option, with Ryuhei missingâ Yutaka presumes dead as wellâ there is only one Greeed left to use. But one is too many in this case.
Keiko readies her gun without any of them seeing where she draws it from; as a member of the Hayashida Foundation, she has the same flawless reflexes that Hiroki has gained through rigorous training. With perfect make-up and not a hair out of place, she looks the part of an assassin, and Yutaka feels a chill go down his spine at the sight of her.
He waves a hand at her to have her lower her weapon, waving another hand when he sees Hiroki and Shogoâ having returned fully healed from his surgeryâ to stand down before he goes to meet Shinji himself. âWhat are you doing here?â
âMotobuchi isnât interested in using me as his vessel anymore, so I suppose staying with him would be pointless.â Shinji says it so casually, looking completely himself. âI thought we had better do our best to stop him from ending the world you care so much about.â
Yutaka frowns at him. âSince when do you care about saving the world or what I care about?â
Shinji clicks his tongue at him. âI came back to aid you. You canât beat him without me, right? So let me fight at your side. You know you need me.â
âWhy did you really come back?â Yutaka demands.
The silence that stretches between them is unbearable, but finally Shinji rests his Greeed hand on Yutakaâs shoulders, his claws digging into Yutakaâs skin just enough for Yutaka to feel the pressure without feeling any pain. âBecause I wanted to help you, Yutaka. If you donât want my help, you donât have to accept it. Itâs up to you.â
âOf course Iâm going to accept your help.â Yutaka stretches out his own hand, resting it on Shinjiâs shoulder. âEven if you turn on me a thousand more times before the end, Iâd still accept your help when you offered it. As far as Iâm concerned, weâre friends.â
There are too many emotions flitting through Shinjiâs dark eyes for Yutaka to tell them apart. Before he can say anything, though, Shinji uses his grip on Yutakaâs shoulder to yank him forward against his chest. Itâs not quite a hug, itâs probably the closest thing that Shinji can manage to one when it comes to his own nature.
Yutaka feels his face heat up when Shinji finally pushes him away. âI have no interest in any kind of friendship, but you have my partnership to save your world, and I know youâre intent on keeping it safe. So, letâs get this done with.â
Yutaka smiles softly at him and nods.
âI donât understand why you wanted to talk to me,â Noriko says softly, her hands folded in front of her. The children are in bed, the hour is late, the stars glittering in the sky. The only light out here is the soft, fuzzy prismatic glow from Shinjiâs wings, folded neatly against his back. Heâd gone out for a final flight before the final battle, or so he said.
Shinji turns to look back at her, perched on a tree branch at the edge of the yard. âI need to tell you something, but I want you to keep it from Yutaka. He doesnât need to know.â
Noriko frowns. âWhat is it?â
âYou⊠Wouldnât let me have this body, would you?â Shinji holds a hand up in front of his face and Noriko feels her heart trip in her chest. âYou do love your brother quite a bit. You wouldnât let me keep his body, would you?â
âShinji, I⊠I want you to know that I donât hate you. Because I donât. I know that you probably think I do, especially after you nearly killed Shuya just to take his body back.â Noriko stops, taking a deep breath, trying to gauge Shinjiâs reaction, but he is perfectly blank-faced as he looks at her, his feathers shifting against his back. âYouâre my friend, too. Just like Yutaka. And if I could, I would keep you here with us. But I wonât sacrifice my brother for that. He was dragged into all of this against his will, and he deserves to live his own life.â
For a long time, Shinji says nothing. He turns away from her, surveying the dark terrain stretching out around them, before he finally slips forward off of the branch, landing on his feet, his wings disappearing from view. When he turns back to her, a bittersweet smile twists his lips. Itâs not a look sheâs used to seeing from him.
âIn this body, Iâd like to think that Iâve finally come to understand what itâs like to live. Even though Iâm an object, not a real living creature. And so Iâm grateful to it.â Shinji holds his hand out in front of him, then takes Norikoâs hand in his. âIâm going to die.â
Noriko blinks at him. âE-excuse me?â
âMy main Core Medal is cracked. When it breaks, Iâll die. My consciousness will fade from existence. This is as close to death as a Greeed can get.â Shinji pauses, then gives her hand a small squeeze before releasing it. âMake sure to take care of Yutaka for me when Iâm gone.â
âAnd you donât want me to tell him?â Noriko asks.
Shinji shakes his head. âHeâs gotta fight with everything he has in him until the very end, and if he knows⊠Itâll affect him, and I donât want it to. So keep this just between us.â
Noriko nods, tears gathering in her eyes. Itâs the least she can do.
The Tajador combo is the most taxing on Yutakaâs body, even more so than the PuToTyra combo, but itâs all they have left and all he can use to save the world. With Sho having been lost to the Core Medals and the massive Greeed in the sky devouring everything in sight, endangering people⊠When Shinji throws him the medals, Yutaka catches them. And itâs in that moment that he watches Shuyaâs limp body fall to the ground that he knows that Shinji gave him the medal most important to him, the one that contains his mind.
And when Yutaka looks down at it, he sees the crack in the brilliant crimson.
âI see,â he whispers, running his thumb over the fracture. âYou knew coming here that this would happen, didnât you? That it would come down to this. You meant it when you said you came back to help me. Thank you, Shinji. I wonât let this be wasted.â
Tajador has always been a powerful combo, but this time, the flames burst with a fire brighter than they ever have before. And when Kyoichi comes at him in his Greeed form, a monster until the other Greeed in his horridness, Yutaka can sense he isnât alone. He can feel Shinji fighting with him, shielding him and protecting him, doing his best to assist.
When they are forced to take the battle inside of the massive structure that used to be the Greeed Sho, and Kyoichi aims what would be a killing attack at him, itâs Shinji who appears from the air, his wing deflecting the blow with ease. Itâs because Shinji is here with him, willing to do anything to help him and protect him, unafraid, that Yutaka can finally summon the purple Core Medals from his body into Tajadorâs shield. One final move with everything the two of them are, with all of their power pooled together, combined into one shining blow⊠If itâs not enough, then nothing will be.
But Yutaka doesnât think that even someone with Kyoichiâs power could stand against his bond with Shinji. And in the end, it is that bond that proves his thoughts true.
The last time he sees Shinji, he isnât even seeing his whole body anymore. Itâs just his arm, just the way he presented himself to Shinji the first time when it was all he could do to hold that form. Disconnected from the rest of his body. The medals are gone now, and Yutakaâs fall to the earth is extreme enough that he might die if the others were not already gathered to catch him.
âShinjiâŠâ He laughs when Shinji grips him by the shirt to stop his descent. âThank you.â
âOur friendship ends here, unfortunately.â He thinks he detects a slight trail of laughter in the words, but he also might be delirious from fatigue. âKeep the others close, then. Maybe Iâll see you again one day.â
And just like that, Shinji is gone.
Noriko gives him the other half of Shinjiâs broken Core Medal. In the end, the pressure of the Tajador combo was too much for Shinjiâs most important medal to bear, but he had been betting on that when he gave it to Yutaka in the first place. Unable to fight with so few of his Core Medals left, he gave all of them to Yutaka with the belief that the Tajador combo combined with the purple medals would be enough. It was more than either of them could do alone, the strength of their bond together all they could rely on in the end.
The other half of the medal had been in his hand when the others had caught him. Heâd almost immediately passed out from the strain of bearing Tajador, especially one that seemed even more powerful as it contained Shinjiâs very essence within it. When he had awakened in his bed back at the orphanage, the medal had been clasped tightly between his fingers.
The massive destruction to Kyoichiâs body had formed a black hole, and that hole had sucked in all of the Core Medals except the broken fragment Yutaka has now. When Hiroki and Shogo had returned from defeating Kazuhiko, it had been with the information that no single medal could restore a Greeed except the one that contained their conscious mind. In his grief, Kazuhiko had tried to bring Sakura back, but she was already gone.
Yutaka turns the pieces around in his hand, staring down at the Taka head emblazoned on them. It wouldnât have mattered even if he had the other nine medals, then. Shinji was gone, and he had known that final fight would take his life if his effort succeeded.
And heâd still done it. Their bond had been stronger than anything.
âI promise Iâll find a way to bring you back,â he whispers, lifting his head to peer out at the streets stretching out before him. Heâs visited Germany only once before in his travels, and that had been years ago. But⊠The Greeed had been born here, and it seemed like the wisest place to begin if he was going to bring Shinji back.
The world was safe. Kyoichiâs defeat had ensured that the dangerous purple Core Medals were eliminated, and Yutaka knows for himself that the other Greeed are all dead. The power of the purple medals had given Kyoichi and Yutaka the strength to damage their consciousness medals, after all.
In the end, Yutaka had been able to save the world. He had helped everyone even if they had no way of knowing it because he had saved their home. And though heâs glad to have done that, all thatâs done is created a true desire in him once again.
He looks down at the medal in his hand, then tucks the pieces back into the inside pocket of his jacket, the one closest to his heart.
One way or another, heâs going to bring Shinji back. Even if he has to search for all of his life.
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Ryuhei Kuroda x Reader: Hobbies and Interests
G/N. Fluff. Ryuhei is so. SO!!
Ryuhei is good at some things.
Fighting is one, and good is an understatement. You've heard of his conquests, seen some of the aftermath - the state of his victims, yet there isn't even a scratch on him.
Hair maintenance too, you suppose. Sure youâre scraping the bottom of the barrel but being his sort of blonde takes a lot of time and care, the fact that it's so soft to the touch instead of brittle and straw like is impressive, so yeah - you'll give him that.
Well done Ryuhei on your exceptional hair.
However. There's a lot of things he's not good at.
Being slick, for example. That poor rizzless bastard.
(Although the more left unsaid about you for falling for what little charms he has the better.)
Drawing is another one.
Which you found out because for some reason, he insists on partaking in your hobbies with you.
Sometimes you get more distracted looking at him than focusing on what you want to create. He's cute, the way his brows furrow, nose scrunches and lips turn down when what's in his brain doesn't translate to the canvas.
It doesn't really matter anyway, as what Ryuhei draws is usually obscene. Comprising of you two in compromising positions.
You alternate between wanting to burst out laughing or sighing whenever he shows you his handiwork with a shit eating grin.
Cardio too, surprisingly. Though you're not convinced.
He has started to exercise with you, joining you on your runs. You think he should be far faster and fitter, yet he always lags behind.
You suspect he's checking out your ass.
"Are you?" You ask when you both take a breather and stretch out your muscles.
"Yep," he smiles toothily, completely shameless and like butter wouldn't melt.
.
.
"Ryuhei,â He brightens instantaneously hearing his name on your lips, but loses his shine when he sees your exasperation. âYou don't have to do everything I do."
He tilts his head, brows knitted together. You think you can see his one brain cell trying to work. Ryuhei is one of those people that mould themselves to their other half's interest and lifestyle. It could be completely fine, if only this wasn't quickly becoming his only personality trait.
You try to make it simple for him, "What do you like?"
"Me?" He blinks twice.
"Yep."
"Humping-"
"Something else."
"You-"
"Something else."
He pauses. "Ride my bike."
"Good!" You clap your hands encouragingly, "Anything else?"
"Ride you-"
You cut him off sharply. "What did you like to do before," you gesture between the two of you, "us?"
He ponders for a moment or two before shrugging.
"I dunno. I don't care " Then seeing the look on your face, "I'll think about it."
Ryuhei throws his arms around your waist and pulls you close. He breathes down your ear, aiming for seductive except it tickles, "For now I'd like to do you-"
"Ryuhei!"
#lookism#lookism x reader#lookism fic#ryuhei kuroda#ryuhei kuroda x reader#ryuhei x reader#wannaeatramyeon
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I just thought what type of personality is thier child like and what type of dad they are.
Example: Daniel's child will be a chubby child like he is, probably shy and cute child. Daniel would be a dad that give confident to his child so they won't exprience hardship like and also both of them will have a shenanigans of eating in the middle of the night.
Gun's child would be mini Gun but doesn't look for fight like his dad. You can say the child is more of gentleman than Gun tendency. The child probably be like "Mom, How and why did you marry dad" Points at thier father who is rampaging in fight.
Thanks for the ask Sam and sorry it's taken so long đ
Agree with your HC altho I wonder if Daniel might swing too much the other way being a health nut (after all the bullying and Lookism) and you would have to help him find a happy medium??
Lookism Boys as dads + what their kid is like
Wow that's a mouthful. HC for Jake Kim, Samuel Seo, Warren Chae, Goo Kim, Ryuhei Kuroda, Eugene, Vasco, Zack Lee, Johan Seong
General HC
Most would take after their dad and be at least adept with fighting
Unless specified they would turn out pretty ok. We all know the flaws these men have (except Jake he can do no wrong đ) so the coparent needs to balance that out
Jake and Samuels kids would be bff, much to chagrin of Samuel lol. He ends up seeing Jake far too much for his liking but his kid is happy so what can he do
Warren's kid and Yenna bff. Duh
Goo's and Ryuhei's hate each other at first. Always getting each other into trouble. Until. Wow, think of the chaos we can cause TOGETHER
Gun's kid IMO would probably get on with someone like Eugene's. But would be hilarious if they got swept into the Vasco/Zack/Johan dynamic
Eugene's is a bit of a loner. All the fancy upbringing means they have connections and networks rather than close friends đ
Vasco's, Zack's and Johan's would be like siblings. Constantly pick on and insult each other. They're allowed to. But if someone joins in - WTF DID YOU JUST SAY?? YOU WANNA FIGHT?
Jake Kim
As a dad
Listen. I don't know whether my levels of delusion are way off with this man but he can do no wrong. He would be the best dad, best househusband. He would be harsh but fair and sooo much fun. Unfortunately your kid would be spoilt rotten with all the Big Deal Uncles and Auntie.
The kid
Like father like son/daughter. Absolute unwavering sense of right and wrong, maybe sometimes not too understanding of the shades of grey. A confident kid and heartbreaker - not purposely tho but their rizz will be off the charts like their dad. Of course a natural born leader. That runs in the family too.
Warren Chae
As a dad
Oof. If you thought he was protective over Sally then you have another thing coming. Needs a bit of talking around to give them their freedom and experiences. Apart from that you really can't complain. Warren has an infinite amount of patience. Also reads to them all the time to stop himself missing out words.
The kid
The cutest kind-hearted little soul! Would just be so nice and sweet! Super well adjusted and surrounded by loving adults (Hostel), and also Grandpa Manager Kim. Yknow the kids who are also constantly dirty? Like constant speck of dirt on their face? Yeah also that.
Samuel Seo
As a dad
It might be better if you're a single parent because he is gonna pass on some gnarly generational trauma. Your child will either end up like a mini-Samuel or fingers crossed there will be shitloads of therapy (for daddy and child).
The kid
Strives for perfection, and super ambitious. There's no avoiding some traits. Another natural leader, but rules less with an iron first than Sammy. Would be vain af, and looks after their appearance a LOT. A bit shallow and judgemental but will eventually grow out of it.
Goo Kim
As a dad
Shrewd af and always knows what's going on. Good luck to their kid because there is no lying to Goo. He'll play along and then drop the hammer. However, a bit too lenient so you would have to be the disciplinarian. Lets the kid just get on with things and learn by experience. "Oh you wanna play with the sword? Have fun!" "GOO NO-!"
The kid
Little shit. Sorry there's just no way they wouldn't be a mouthy little asshole. Goo would make sure they respect the parents, but otherwise they are a danger to society. A troublemaker. Figures out all the loopholes to any rules and laws... A constant headache but you can't help but be impressed.
Gun Park
As a dad
Does a lot of research before their kid is born. This guy is pretty thorough with things he is interested in, so if he's taking an active part in the kid's life then he will be meticiulous. Initially. Then, like Goo, will let their kid make their own mistakes. Otherwise, very hands on, doesn't believe in outdated parental roles. After all, this is Gun's ultimate masterpiece.
The kid
Christ. This kid could be the most intimidating child to have ever lived. Not as intense as their dad, but they are playing 5D chess while everyone else is just learning their shapes and numbers. They're cocky and confident, with the skills to back it up.
Ryuhei Kuroda
As a dad
Extremely similar to Goo imo. Would also love to embarrass the kid. Not purposely mind, just he can't keep his hands off or kissing you and no kid needs to see their parents so grossly in love.
The kid
An absolute menace, just like their dad. Huge prankster, mostly harmless. Don't get them together with Goo's kid because jfc they would be absolute terrors together. Unlike their dad in his youth, they would respect the shit out of women. You've seen to that.
Eugene
As a dad
Probably a little cold and severe, putting a bit too much emphasis on grades and perfection. Despite that, would actually be pretty good. Someone that reads up a lot on how to raise a kid, bonding with them etc etc. to form a somewhat healthy relationship.
The kid
Private school little wunderkind. Will grow up with the absolute best of everything and spoilt too so you would need to keep them grounded. Expected to take over Workers. Business acument and ambition will be drilled into them from an early age.
Vasco
As a dad
What is there to say about Tabasco that we don't already know. Would dote on them hand and foot. An absolute pushover! Their kid pulls out the puppy eyes and it's game over. Would teach them to protect themselves but probably draw the line at anything more.
The kid
Really creative? Vasco would place less emphasis on grades and would help to nurture their interest in the arts. But actually super smart too thanks to Uncle Jace's influence. Tbh I think the kid would be pretty perfect and with the kindest heart and stands up to bullies just like dad!
Zack Lee
As a dad
So so similar to Vasco. Has all these ideas on what they should and shouldn't do as a parent. Kid pops out, and Zack's a goner. Literally would do anything and everything for their child. Go absolutely crazy with pride if the kid is interested in boxing.
The kid
Would have no game... Like dad. Sorry. Good job they would be good looking af to even it out. Not a huge emphasis on education and grades thanks to Zack's influence. More focused on athletics. A little shallow and arrogant, but a huge softy underneath.
Johan Seong
As a dad
Panic and anxiety from the day their kid was born and every day after. First because of worrying about their eyes, second because he's just not comfortable with having an actual dependent. Tries to teach them about the evils of the world. Eventually chills out overall and reverts back to being the gentle-hearted boy he used to be.
The kid
For practical reasons, taught braille from an early age just in case. But otherwise a mini-Johan but without the trauma. Very softly spoken and sweet. Just an absolute ray of sunshine. Always accompanied by their dog, their bff and partner when a fight arises.
#im sorry this isnt very good đ#i think i repeated myself about a hundred times writing this#lookism#lookism headcanons#lookism x reader#lookism hc#lookism webtoon#lookism manhwa#jake kim#samuel seo#goo kim#lookism ryuhei#ryuhei kuroda#lookism eugene#vasco#euntae lee#zack lee#johan seong#slimesam hits again#wannaeatramyeon
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Request for a F!reader who has experience. I noticed that a lot of the times they make it seem like the girl has negative experience and I just thought about how would they be with someone who has had boyfriends and girlfriends before and they were the ones who had less or no experience. Obviously some of them have made it clear that they have some but i thought it would be interesting to see it play out. Only if you can and want toâ€ïžâ€ïž
Thanks for the request! I would love to think that for everyone the experience isn't a factor, but appreciate that the culture is more conservative than I'm used to so my hc may be completely off.
Lookism with Experienced Reader S/O
Boy's reaction to S/O with previous romantic history
Insecure but trying to play it cool
Vasco: Oh... It's fine that you're not each other's first with everything. And Vasco guesses he's a bit of a late bloomer and has been married to Burn Knuckles. How far did you get with your previous partners? Just holding hands? No?! Further?! Oh... yeah, that's fine too...
Vin Jin: So what? He has lots of experience. Sort of. Uh... back in Cheongliang. You wouldn't know them. Why don't you just mind your own business! ... He's still the best looking, right?!
Samuel Seo: 'Cool' might be a stretch. Generally doesn't think anything of it, afterall he has been around... unless he is in one of moods. Who are they? Are they better than me?? Will snoop around until his ego is soothed.
Johan Seong: Lingers on his mind. Lashes out when he's feeling particularly childish or immature. It'll take him a while to get over it, and to be honest it's completely up to you whether you can put up with this pretty poor behaviour.
Insecure and healthy about it
Warren Chae: It's not your fault that you have experienced the normal highs and lows of romance. Warren just had other priorities. He doesn't mind playing catch up to be the perfect boyfriend.
Jace Park: It's fine, it's fine. You have to kiss a few frogs to meet your prince and luckily Jace is now here to treat you like a queen.
+ Daniel Park, Zack Lee
No feelings one way or another
Jake Kim: You're beautiful inside and out. Of course other parties would be interested, it's probably more surprising if you haven't had any romantic experience. Just tell him he's the funniest guy and he's all good.
Gun Park: Doesn't care. He's confident that he's stronger than any of your previous partners, and that's the only benchmark that matters.
DG: It would only matter if there's any potential scandal that could come out and could impact his reputation. DG loves you though. Would deal with any headlines or tabloids on your behalf.
+ Goo Kim, Ryuhei Kuroda, Xiaolong, Eli Jang, Jay Hong, Sinu Han
#not sure if im busier or i can feel the hyperfixation fading...#lookism#lookism headcanons#lookism hc#lookism x reader#sinu han#jake kim#samuel seo#johan seong#lookism ryuhei#lookism dg#gun park#goo kim#vin jin#jake kim x reader#samuel seo x reader#gun park x reader#goo kim x reader#johan seong x reader#jace park#vin jin x reader#dg x reader#ryuhei x reader#wannaeatramyeon
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To Make An Attempt
Sasagawa Ryuhei/Motobuchi Kyoichi Battle Royale 2000~ words. Sfw.
Ryuhei is going to kiss his boyfriend one way or another. With only a half-ass plan in place and more determination than anyone deserves to have, he decides heâs going to do it today. Tagging @hironoshimizu and also @satominoda.
Ryuhei has already decided he has every plan of kissing Kyoichi Motobuchi on the mouth today. He decided it before he went to sleep the night before, so when he gets up, heâs prepared.
There are nerves. Of course there are nerves. No one has ever particularly liked Ryuhei before, and there was that one time he and Hiroshi got drunk and made out, but he doesnât really count that even if Sho still has the incriminating picturesâ and videoâ stored away on his cell phone. Kyoichi is different in that he does like Ryuhei, or at least likes him enough to hold his hand sometimes and call him his boyfriend when people ask, so this is a little weird for him.
His brother walks right into the bathroom without knocking on the door, because of course he does, and Ryuhei shoots him a glare. âDo you mind? Thereâs someone in here right now.â
âHow was I supposed toâ Wait a minute.â Mamoru blinks at him, eyes wide. âAre you doing your hair?â
Before he answers, Ryuhei curls his fingers around the handle of his hairbrush, making sure he has a firm grip on it as he narrows his eyes up at his younger brother. Being short has to be the most maddeningly annoying part of his life. âWhat are you going to say about it?â
âYouâre fixing your fucking hair.â Mamoru claps his hand over his mouth, his face lighting up far more than it has any right to. âWait âtil I tell Mom what youâre in here doââ
âYou better not, I swear Iâll beat the shit out of you!â Ryuhei swings the hairbrush around hard enough that the impact the back of it has against his brotherâs chest echoes in the room.
Of course, their parents are too busy to notice them scuffling in the bathroom, and Ryuhei at least has the advantage of brandishing both a hairbrush and a hot flat iron, which eventually makes his brother retreat on fear of getting burned before school. By the time he leaves the house behind, Ryuhei has managed to keep his hair intact and he feels pretty good about the way he looks, all things considered. Though he doesnât really like his school uniform and doesnât usually wear every single part of it to school, and who needs ties in class anyway, heâs dressed as immaculately as possible and exhales softly. Heâs done all he can to be presentable today.
He never comes to school earlier than he absolutely has to, which has ended up with more truancy issues than he can begin to handle, but today he shows up half an hour early and makes a beeline for the library. Sure enough, Kyoichi is already sitting at one of the tables, a laptop in front of him, muttering to himself as he works. The librarian is nowhere in sight, and Ryuhei half-wonders if Kyoichi has his own key to the library that allows him to come and go as he pleases, especially considering how early he gets here. Ryuhei thumps the back of a nearby chair with his hand, which makes Kyoichi jump five feet in the air and Ryuhei himself snigger.
âWhat are you doing here?â Kyoichi asks as he tries to collect himself, straightening the stack of paper beside him before turning his attention back to his laptop screen.
âThatâs such a shitty way to greet your boyfriend, Motobuchi, youâre even worse at this than I am.â Ryuhei takes his time walking over to where Kyoichi is sitting, dropping his chin on top of the other boyâs head, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. âWhat are you looking at, anyway?â
âJust some very complicated math theories that I donât think youâd be that interested in even if I explained to you how it all works.â Kyoichi gestures to the screen as he talks and Ryuhei cocks his head to the side, studying the equations, which almost immediately gives him a headache. Yeah, Kyoichi was not kidding about him not being interested. âBut Iâm finding myself much more interested in why youâre here this early in the morning when you usually bolt through the door right before the late bell rings. Did you forget an assignment or something?â
âIf Iâd forgotten it, I definitely wouldnât stress myself out to do it quickly,â Ryuhei points out.
Kyoichi is quiet for a moment before nodding slowly. âYeah, no, thatâs more like you.â
âI came early because I knew you were going to be here,â Ryuhei says. âAnd here you are.â
Kyoichi tilts his head back to look up at him, furrowing his brows at him. âYes, here I am. Why did you need to see me this early? Is there something we need to talk about?â
Instead of answering him, Ryuhei snatches his glasses off of his face and bolts three feet back with them, waving them through the air with a smirk on his face. He doesnât know why he does it, not really, but the urge had been there and it was far too easy not to go with it when Kyoichi was that close to him. Exasperated, Kyoichi pushes himself out of his chair and makes to give chase, and Ryuhei immediately darts into the bookshelves. Kyoichi has much longer legs and can catch up quickly if heâs not careful, and thatâs not really the goal here.
âYou came in this early just to terrorize me,â Kyoichi calls from the other side of a shelf while Ryuhei expertly darts around the edge of it, putting more distance between them. âIf you really wanted to do this, we could have done it during lunch. Iâm busy right now.â
Ryuhei clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth, trying to keep his hearing focused so he can pick up the sound of Kyoichiâs soft footsteps beneath his whining. âYouâre too busy to spend time with your boyfriend?â he asks, grinning when Kyoichi sputters at him, apparently not knowing how to answer that. âIâm hurt, nerd. I came in just to see you and you do me this way.â
Kyoichi stomps his foot; Ryuhei hears the precise moment when it hits the carpet and easily calculates how close he is. âSince when do you get emotionally hurt by teasing, dumbass?â
âName calling, now!â Ryuhei cackles to himself as he backs away, peeking over the tops of a few books to see where Kyoichi is. âI thought you were above such childish behavior.â
Kyoichi huffs. âThat really makes you one to talk, doesnât it, Sasagawa?â
âIâm hurt again.â Ryuhei spots the staircase leading up to the second floor of the library out of the corner of his eye and decides to risk it. âCatch me if you can, nerd!â
He takes off at a straight sprint for the stairs, laughing out loud when Kyoichi stutters before starting to run after him. The thing is, Ryuhei is naturally clumsy, and unlucky at best, and so when his foot doesnât come down right on one of the stairs and he goes sprawling, falling down a few of them in the process, twisting around onto his back, he isnât really that surprised, just groans.
What does surprise him is the moment when Kyoichi thunks down on the stairs next to him, half on top of him, one hand braced on the step above Ryuheiâs head, his face a complex mash-up of concern and worry and fear as he holds his other hand out, almost as if heâs afraid to touch him. âAre you okay?â he asks. âYouâre so stupid, I canât believe youâd run upstairs. Does anything hurt? Is there anything I can do to help you? Ryuhei, just tell me and Iâll do it.â
Itâs the first time that Kyoichi has actually called him by name since they started dating; itâs always been his surname, or dumbass, or something to that effect, but he canât remember Kyoichi ever saying his name. He canât remember Kyoichi ever sounded so concerned about him, either.
Heâs staring up at him, blinking, dazed by this realization, that he doesnât even realize that Kyoichi has quieted down until the library just sounds too quiet. When he properly focuses his eyes to take in the sight above him, itâs of Kyoichi staring down at him in equal surprise, in equal wonder, and itâs⊠Itâs a nice look on him, really. Kyoichi Motobuchi isnât what anyone would ever call classically handsome, not like Nanahara or Mimura or the Boss, but Ryuhei never went for pretty boys anyway.
âI came here early âcause I decided I was going to kiss you, actually,â he says off-handedly, and the way Kyoichiâs face flushes dark red says it all far too well. âBut if youâre more concerned about my possible injuries, we can always wait for the nurse to get here.â
Heâs never seen someone look so comically and adorably torn in his life, but finally Kyoichi picks a course of action and leans down, then stops himself, his brows furrowed. Ryuhei sighs and closes the gap between them, dragging Kyoichi down by the collar of his shirt until their lips are mashed together. Itâs not even close to a kiss at first, and he gets the sense that Kyoichi has never kissed anyone in his entire life, whereas Ryuhei has at least kissed a couple of random girls and guys here and there without anything ever being anything close to seriousâ
Which is what makes this so wildly different from every other kiss he has ever shared with a person in his lifetime. None of that meant anything, and this does, because none of that had ever been serious, not to him, and this⊠This definitely is. Heâs realized that a long time ago.
He takes the lead on the kiss, and Kyoichi is smart enough to just follow along, letting Ryuhei pick a rhythm for their lips to move. He makes a weird, half-squeaking noise when Ryuhei introduces tongue into the equation, but damn it, heâs gotta make his first kiss with his first serious boyfriend count.
In the back of his mind, heâs aware of the fact heâs sandwiched between the stairs and Kyoichiâs body, and that the steps digging into his back and legs arenât exactly a pleasant sensation, but Kyoichi is actually kissing him, and actually kissing it, and when Ryuhei looks up at him, when they both need to breathe, heâs flushed and ruffled and itâs fucking adorable.
If he hadnât been in trouble before, then he definitely is now.
âHere, nerd,â he says, twisting around to pluck Kyoichiâs glasses off of the step theyâd landed on, pleased to see nothing has happened to them. He leans back, carefully sliding them onto Kyoichiâs face, and finishes off by ruffling his hair. âYou look like a mess, you know.â
âI wonder whose fault that is,â Kyoichi says dryly, but then his eyes widen slightly. âWait a minute, did you straighten your hair? When do you ever straighten your hair? You said people whoââ
He stops himself, his eyes widening further, and Ryuhei squirms away from him before he can make the obvious connection that Ryuhei had make an effort to look nice for him. He gets all of three steps when he notices that the library doors are open and Sho Tsukioka is standing there, leaning against the frame, holding a cell phone in his hand.
âThis is better than the video with Hiroshi,â he says matter-of-factly. âIâll treasure this one, Sasagawa, I really will. Iâll just drop it into the class group chat so they can also appreciateââ
âYou will fucking not!â Ryuhei has already broken out into a sprint across the library, Sho wisely ducking out of the doorway and taking off down the hall. âGet back here, Tsukioka!â
Kyoichi pushes himself up off of the steps, ruffled and flustered and not entirely sure whatâs just happened. His fingers drift up to his lips, still slightly swollen, his entire world thrown off axis for the day, and then he smiles and shakes his head and goes back to work.
#battle royale#ryuhei sasagawa#kyoichi motobuchi#*f: mine#*f: br#*f: ryuhei#*f: kyoichi#listen i've wanted to write this for seventy thousand years and here we are mates
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Someone Is Calling
Sasagawa Ryuhei/Motobuchi Kyoichi Battle Royale 4000~ words. Sfw.
Kyoichi Motobuchi and Ryuhei Sasagawa find their soulmates, a surprisingly disastrous situation as they have been nothing but enemies since day one. Itâs almost impossible to reject a soulmate bond even with conscious effort, but color vision is underrated anyway. Another installment of that goddamn soulmate AU no one will take away from me. Non-Program modern day AU. Tagging @hironoshimizu
The chances of a rejection between a pair of soulmates is statistically low, so low that such cases are treated as unique rarities with no true explanation behind them. Kyoichi Motobuchi lives for numbers and figures, thrives in the worlds of equations and graphs, facts and figures that cannot be argued with. Numbers never lie; Kyoichi knows this better than anyone. And so when Ryuhei Sasagawa first slams him up against a locker after school, when his bruised knuckles brush against Kyoichiâs throat where his pulse is hammering beneath his skin and the world bursts into vivid color, Kyoichi knows his fate is entwined with numbers permanently.
For the record, it stuns Sasagawa as much as it stuns him. He loses his grip on Kyoichiâs shirt and stumbles back, eyes blown wide, his lower jaw slightly slack as he stumbles back into the bank of lockers behind him. This close, Kyoichi can see the dark brown hues of his eyes shifting with his emotions, anger and confusion and even fear swirling together. His hair no longer looks pale gray; itâs a startling and bright silvery gold, clearly a bleached job.
âYouâve got to be kidding me,â he says, thumping the back of his head against the locker behind him so hard the metal rattles and Kyoichi winces. âIt canât be you of all people.â
Scoffing, Kyoichi smoothes the front of his shirt and adjusts his collar. âBelieve me when I say Iâm hardly thrilled with this discovery. I would have wanted someone who could actually appreciate my intelligence, not someone who scorns me for it.â
Sasagawa narrows his eyes at him. âFuck off, Motobuchi. No one gives a shit about that.â
âYou donât care about anyone or anything other than yourself and your twisted view of the way the world works.â Kyoichi shakes his head, more disgusted than he has words for as he pushes himself off of the lockers. âAs far as Iâm concerned, this is some kind of cosmic mistake.â
âBelieve me when I say that only some fucking mistake could lead to this. Iâm not doing this. Not with you.â Sasagawa barks laughter, as if the idea is nothing but a joke to him.
Though he knows he should hardly be affected by something like this from Sasagawa of all people, Kyoichi canât help but feel his gut twist just the same. He rolls his eyes at himself and shakes his head; how can he let himself get this torn up over something Ryuhei Sasagawa of all people is saying? He thought he knew himself better than this.
He straightens his spine, mustering everything he has as he fixes his gaze on Sasagawa, hoping to convey as much coldness with his gaze as he can. âI assure you that you donât even have to think about it. You never had a chance to begin with.â
Before Sasagawa can come up with a retort, Kyoichi makes a beeline down the hallway, trying not to talk too quickly so he doesnât appear upset or bothered by what Sasagawa had said to him. Heâs bothered by this situation, of course, because he would have thought he ended up with someone more suited to being his partner. Not that he believes anyone like that exists in Class 3-B of Shiroiwa Junior High School, but he had never expected to find anyone this young even though other members of his class already have.
âMotobuchi!â A voice off to his left calls, and he turns sharply to see Yukie Utsumi hurrying to catch up with him, a stack of papers held aloft in one hand. âWe have to discuss what we want to do for the spring dance and we have to get it all figured out this week.â
Kyoichi scoffs, shaking his head, pushing his glass up his nose. âIâm not interested in such things, Utsumi, you might as well handle this on your own.â
âI didnât think youâd want to but it only seemed fair to ask.â Yukie frowns, as if sensing something is wrong, but she doesnât get a chance to ask before the school doors swing open and then shut behind them; Kyoichi only has to glance over his shoulder to see Sasagawa slipping around the corner of the building before Yukieâs fingers tentatively touch his wrist. âMotobuchi? Did something happen back there?â
He doesnât want to tell her, and itâs likely she wouldnât have much sympathy for him to begin with, but before he can control himself, he replies to her in a quavering voice. âHe touched me and now I can see what awful color his hair is.â
There is a pregnant pause as Yukie no doubt struggles to wrap her mind around this; Kyoichi yelps when she suddenly jumps up, throwing her arms around his neck with enough force to drag him down to her height, her face pressed into his hair. Heâs never been one for casual physical contact before, and even this is a bit much for him to figure out how to deal with, but the tightness in his throat and the churning in his gut makes his eyes water entirely of their own accord, and before he knows it, heâs stifling a sob against her shoulder.
âIâm so sorry, Motobuchi,â she whispers, quiet enough that heâs the only one who can hear her. âI wouldnât have wished this on anyone in the entire world. No one deserves this.â
He doesnât like to cry in front of people, at least not over something so stupid, but he canât help himself. This was never what he wanted for himself, and he doesnât know what he did to earn something like this in life. As far as he knows, he hasnât done anything horrible enough to earn him a lifetime attached to someone like Ryuhei Sasagawa.
Yukie lets him go, taking him by the wrist and dragging him off of campus. âCome on. I know weâre not friends, but you donât deserve to be alone right now. Come to my house.â
Even if Kyoichi has a routine he likes to stick to, he decides to break it just this once.
Ryuhei spends the rest of junior high and well into high school doing his best to ignore Kyoichi Motobuchi. Itâs not easy considering theyâre in the same class, but once they reach high school, they have different classes and since Ryuhei isnât nearly smart enough to earn a place in the advanced placement classes, he doesnât see Kyoichi nearly as much. Itâs good for his peace of mind because every time he remembers their fates were entwined by some twisted universal plan, he swings between melodramatic despair and irritation bleeding into anger.
Though he would have liked to spend a majority of that time torturing the guyâ God knows itâs far too easy with how stressed he is from schoolâ he doesnât want to be near him. Rejecting a soulmate bond is difficult enough as it is. The fact his color vision has refused to fade over time only frustrates him further because that means nothing is working.
He needs it to work. He doesnât care if he never sees color again. He just doesnât want to be attached to someone like Motobuchi for the rest of his life.
âYouâre being dramatic,â Sho informs him one afternoon in the lunchroom, nail file in hand as he works on his fingernails. âKyoichiâs not bad. I mean, heâs not my type but heâs kinda cute. Why are you so pissed off about this?â
Ryuhei snorts so hard it almost hurts, slumping down in his chair, scowling at the top of his table. âYou donât have to be stuck to some fucking nerd loser for your entire life, Sho.â
âNo, but it could be much worse. At least you know heâll be successful in the future. I donât know why you have such a problem for this.â Sho blows lightly on his nails, narrowing his eyes at Ryuhei above them.
Of course, he doesnât have to worry about something like this. He isnât attached to anyone, and Ryuhei is annoyed because he wishes he wasnât. All things considered, he would have been perfectly fine with never finding his soulmate, never being attached to anyone, and now that heâs seen it, he can fully say that color vision is overrated. And he doesnât like Motobuchi, because who ever could, but he doesnât want the poor guy stuck with him either. They absolutely could not be more different people if they tried.
Motobuchi had said it himself during their last conversation with one another. He wanted someone who could value him for his intelligence, and Ryuhei is not and never will be that person. As far as heâs concerned, intelligence doesnât mean shit.
Mitsuru heaves a sigh and slants him a look that makes Ryuhei scowl at him. âYou know, some people never find their soulmate. In fact, most people donât. You do, and you do this.â
Ryuhei glares right back at him. âYou can eat shit, Numai, Iâm not having anything to do with him.â
âAnyone with fucking eyes can see you donât want anything to do with him, and Iâm telling you youâre an idiot for giving up without even trying.â Mitsuru stands, grabbing his bag and shouldering it roughly in the process. âYouâre an idiot, and youâre going to regret this more than youâve regretted anything else. Iâm going. Sho, Hiroshi, Izumi, letâs go.â
The words are clearly meant to discourage Ryuhei from following them, a sure sign he sure did manage to piss Mitsuru off with this entire situation. âWhat business is it of yours if I want to be with my supposed soulmate or not? It doesnât affect you at all.â
âItâs very hard to spend time caring about someone who obviously doesnât care about themself.â Mitsuru leans in so close that Ryuhei swallows roughly. âFigure it out for yourself.â
Ryuhei watches the other four leave, Sho sidling right up next to Mitsuru like he always does, and he gives his head a shake before turning around, eyes surveying the room before he finds where Kyoichi Motobuchi is sitting. He doesnât recognize any of the people heâs sitting with right now, and he doesnât think he could name them if he had to. But heâs annoyed to see that Kyoichi actually looks⊠Happy. What the fuck is that? People who are rejected are supposed to have more adverse reactions, arenât they?
Yet again, Ryuhei has to roll his eyes at himself and shoves himself to his feet, intent on finding something else to do with his time rather than sit here alone like a loser. Heâs thinking too much about Kyoichi these days, but it isnât his fault. Heâs doing his best to ignore everything else, and it isnât his fault his stupid color vision refuses to go out on him.
Heâs been told before that only one person has to reject the bond fully to make the vision go back to shades of grey, but no matter how many times he tries, nothing happens. How much more effort does he have to put into this before it works? Heâs put more effort into cancelling this out, whatever it is, than most people have put into their actual bonds.
Heâs on the way out of the room when Kyoichi lifts his head, and for just a moment, their eyes meet. The smile on his face fades a little, and Ryuhei almost feels bad for it, his hand faltering on the push-handle of the door, knowing he is the reason that smile is gone⊠And then he snarls at himself and stalks out of the room, letting the door slam behind him. What does he care if he makes Kyoichi Motobuchi upset? He just doesnât.
And in the back of his mind, a doubt starts to form. If the bond hadnât broken despite the harsh words they had thrown at each other back in junior high⊠Did that mean Kyoichi was unable to break the bond from his end? And why?
The date had been a disaster. If Kyoichi had bothered to think about it logically, it would have made much more sense that things did not work out and were never going to. He had slipped up mid-conversation, had accidentally identified a color on the plate of food sitting in front of him, and his date had lost all interest in him and instead wanted to know more about the soulmate he was attached to, why things had not worked out between them, and why Kyoichi could still see color in the first place.
In the end, said date had decided Kyoichi was clearly just cheating on his significant other and had left him behind, red-faced and embarrassed, unable to explain that he had no idea why he had been unable to break the bond and return to his original way of seeing things.
His bond with Ryuhei Sasagawa is effectively trying to ruin multiple parts of his life now. The realization is a bitter truth and he laughs a little at the thought of it as he walks back to his dorm room, dragging the sleeve of his sweater across his eyes in an effort to wipe the tears forming in his eyes away before they have the chance to fall.
He just wants a normal life, whatever he can scrounge up out of the ruins of whatever he never had with Sasagawa in the first place. Why does this still have to plague him literally years down the road? They never spoke after that first time. Why is the bond still even in place?
Not paying attention where heâs going, too caught up in the emotions making his chest tight and the thoughts that refuse to leave his mind, he doesnât notice when a few guys start following him. Itâs only when one of them grabs him by the elbow and spins him around that he realizes he might be in serious trouble. Theyâre all rough-looking, and he doesnât even have self-defense training.
âAh, shit, never mind,â the one who grabbed him says, letting him go. âLook at the face, this is the one Sasagawa told us not to fuck with.â
Kyoichi blinks at the men, but his fuzzy brain manages to seize on the one word it definitely recognizes in that sentence and he clears his throat a little. âSasagawa? Do you guys know Ryuhei Sasagawa?â
âWe run together. He told us when we joined up with us not to fuck with you. Had a picture and all. Motobuchi, right?â the guy who grabbed him asks, cocking his head at him.
âY-yes, thatâs me. I⊠Ryuhei Sasagawa said that?â Itâs all a bit much to wrap his head around, the idea that Ryuhei had tried to keep him safe from potentially being jumped, and well in advance of this situation it seems. Kyoichi doesnât know what to think about that. For the first time in his life, words are failing him. âI, um⊠Do you know where he is right now?â
One of the other two men snorts. âI didnât realize soulmates didnât keep track of each other.â
âShut it,â the first man says, waving his hand. âSasagawa said it was complicated. But yeah, we know where he is. Why, you need to talk to him about something?â
He shouldnât. The last thing he should be doing is making an attempt to get in touch with Ryuhei when the two of them have not spoken since they were fifteen years old, more than five years ago at this point. But despite knowing this, despite knowing how that last conversation between the two of them had went, Kyoichi finds himself nodding, sniffling softly, the sting of tonightâs rejection combined with the fact he had been in danger for just a moment all a bit much for him to deal with right now. The only other person he could talk to about this is Yukie, and he doesnât want to wake her up right now. She needs her sleep, too.
The three men drift away from him, far enough that the one can pull out his phone and make a call, keeping his voice pitched low enough so that Kyoichi doesnât hear them. He feels strange standing here in his nice gray sweater and his black dress pants, his glasses sliding down on his nose, waiting for a trio of guys in torn jeans and motorcycle boots to get back to him. Stranger things have probably not happened to him, but he canât process it right now.
âAll right,â the first guy says, walking back up to him. âHe said Iâm allowed to bring you to his apartment, he got up and is waiting. Itâs about a ten minute walk from here.â
Kyoichi nods and falls in step with the other three, folding his arms across his midsection, already too tired to do much more than follow these men to where Ryuhei is staying. It hardly surprises him that Ryuhei is still involved with gang activity, but these people look a little scarier than the Numai Family had been, and Kyoichi doesnât want to think about what the lot of them probably get up to in their spare time.
To his surprise, the apartment building they enter is one of the newer ones in the city, clean and comfortable, and the others look out of place in the well-lit, carpeted halls. They stop in front of a door and before they can knock, the door swings in, and Ryuhei Sasagawa steps out of the dark interior in just a pair of pajama pants and a tank top. His hair, Kyoichi notes, is still blond.
âThanks for bringing him here,â Ryuhei says, lifting his chin toward the guys. âYou can go now, though. I got it from here.â
The others obediently leave, the two of them remaining in the quiet that their exit creates. Kyoichi keeps his gaze fixed on the floor, nibbling on his lower lip, and the emotions he tried so carefully to contain come bubbling up, as if Ryuheiâs proximity was all the catalyst needed to tear down the walls he had so carefully constructed. Tears well up in his eyes and he stifles a sob against the palm of his hand, squeezing his eyes shut.
âCâmere.â Ryuhei is suddenly in front of him, hands taking him gently by the elbows, drawing him to the doorway. âI donât know what happened, but Iâm here, all right?â
It shouldnât be a comfort. Somehow, it is.
The thing is, Ryuhei isnât good at this comforting thing. Heâs twenty-one years old and hardly knows how to juggle his own emotions, so having Kyoichi Motobuchi hiccuping against his shoulder, sitting on his worn couch with his arms around Ryuheiâs shoulders so tight it almost hurts⊠Heâs more than out of his element. Especially when he never expected to see Kyoichi again, much less actually speak to him.
It had been like waking up in the middle of a dream only to find he was still asleep, still dreaming. His cell phone had been ringing insistently, and when heâd answered it, one of his men had informed him that the very boy he told them to stay away from was asking for him. Never in his life did he think Kyoichi would go out of his way to come speak to him.
And to have him show up at his apartment in tears? Yeah, Ryuhei isnât ready for this.
The story Kyoichi had managed to choke out between sobs had been the last straw as far as Ryuhei was concerned; heâd quietly texted one of his men to take care of the guy who had treated Kyoichi like trash for no real reason and was satisfied that it would be taken care of. As soon as people realized you had soulmate vision, they made all sorts of judgments and guesses about your life whether they were true or not based on what they thought was true.
When the hiccups subside to shaky, watery breaths, Ryuhei takes Kyoichi by the shoulders and pushes him back, gently taking his glasses off of his face. âTake a minute to calm down,â he advises before standing, wiping his hands on his jeans. âIâm going to make some tea. Iâd ask if you want something stronger but you donât fuck with alcohol, do you?â
At Kyoichiâs small head shake, Ryuhei heads for the kitchen to do the one thing heâs confident might be of some use to him. He brings back a mug of teaâ just one, he isnât thirsty and doesnât need it anywayâ and hands it to Kyoichi, watching him clasp the cup in trembling hands.
âI donât understand why the stupid bond hasnât broken,â Kyoichi finally tells him, wiping at his eyes with his sleeve before taking a sip of tea. âThis is actually good.â
âAs much as Iâve tried to break it myself, I donât know what it hasnât broken either. I really donât.â Ryuhei wishes he could offer Kyoichi some kind of respite from this, but no matter where heâs looked for answers, he hasnât managed to actually find any for them. âIf Iâd known it was fucking up your life to this degree, I⊠I dunno, wouldâve tried harder.â
Kyoichi laughs, setting the mug on Ryuheiâs beaten-up, worn coffee table. âThanks, I guess.â
âWhy did you ask to see me in the middle of the night anyway? I donât think Iâve ever done anything to qualify as a comfort person for you,â Ryuhei observes.
âI donât know. I just⊠I was overwhelmed and I didnât know what to do. They mentioned you and I thought that seeing you might⊠I donât know.â Kyoichi leans back on Ryuheiâs couch, and itâs⊠Strange, having him here, looking so distraught, so lost and sad. It pulls at something in Ryuheiâs chest hard enough to be painful. âIf Iâm being a nuisance, I can leaveâŠâ
Shaking his head, Ryuhei leans over, pushes Kyoichiâs hair back out of his eyes. Heâd stopped parting it at some point, apparently. âN-no, youâre fine here. Just calm down, okay?â
âI just want things to be normal. I donât understand why the bond hasnât broken, and it still being here, still being a part of our lives⊠I just canât ignore it anymore.â Kyoichi laughs, and itâs a bitter sound, and itâs also a weak, wet sound that makes Ryuhei grimace. âI canât pretend it isnât a part of my life. It just keeps coming back no matter what I do. What do we do?â
Ryuhei shakes his head. âI dunno. I wish I did. I just⊠Câmere, I donât know why itâs pissing me off so much but⊠Fuck it, just câmere.â
He leans forward, grabbing Kyoichi by the arm and hauling him in closer, his back falling against the arm of the couch. Itâs awkward, given the height difference between themâ Kyoichi is tall and Ryuhei has to bitterly admit heâs shortâ but Kyoichi cuddles down against his chest and makes it work, and Ryuhei rests his chin on top of his head. This is⊠Better, he realizes. Better than just sitting here and listening to Kyoichi cry.
âI donât know what to do, okay?â He smoothes his fingers through Kyoichiâs hair, feeling Kyoichiâs face press against the front of his throat. âBut like⊠Itâs late. Letâs get some sleep and weâll figure this out in the morning. Somehow, some way.â
When Ryuhei Sasagawa wakes up that morning to the sight of Kyoichiâs face smashed into his pillow, his hair a nest from sleep, looking more adorable than he has any right to, all he can do is roll onto his side, smooth his hand down the side of Kyoichiâs face. It occurs to him that heâs never seen him this calm or relaxed in the entire time theyâve known each other.
When Kyoichi wakes up to find Ryuhei softly stroking his cheek, he doesnât say anything.
They donât figure it out that morning. They put to rest the idea of figuring it out.
#battle royale#kyoichi motobuchi#ryuhei sasagawa#*f: mine#*f: br#*f: kyoichi#*f: ryuhei#*f: soulmate au
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The Waiting Game
Numai Mitsuru/Tsukioka Sho Battle Royale 2000~ words. Sfw.
Mitsuru wants to wait to find out who his soulmate is. Sho has long since decided that Mitsuru is well worth the wait. Fate seems to intervene to bring them back together again. Part of that hella long soulmate AU that absolutely no one asked for. Tagging @hironoshimizu and @satominoda
Mitsuru Numai had always firmly believed in what his parents always taught him growing up, when the world was still colorless except for the many shades of grey. His parents had been lucky enough to find one another when they were in college, and though his mother tried to relate to him what color looked like, how it wove its own marvellous designs beyond his comprehension, he was never really able to get it. But he believed his parents when they told him that it would be best to focus on getting through school and getting to college, figuring out who he was and what he wanted from the world, before he ever thought about looking for a soulmate.
Even when Mitsuko Soumaâs hard edges are worn away and Takako Chigusa comes out of her shell, even when the quintet finds each other piece by piece, even when Shinji Mimura comes to school with an affectionate arm slung around Yutaka Setoâs shoulders⊠Mitsuru sees it, and he understands it, and heâs happy to see other people happy. Heâs particularly thrilled for Mitsuko because he knows better than anyone that Mitsuko would have never let anyone in, not in a thousand years, but she has now, and she seems happier, and heâs glad for it.
That doesnât really change his idea to wait until heâs out of high school, until heâs at least in college and has some of the puzzle that comprises himself figured out, has a few of the pieces cemented in place before he tries to look for his missing half. And with the Numai Family surrounding him at all times, keeping anyone away who tries to get close on request, heâs not overly worried.
The sole exception is Izumi Kanai, who slings an arm around his neck when she joins up with them in the morning, half-hanging off of him and chattering about her evening. The world doesnât change color because of her, so Mitsuru is fine with this contact, and this alone.
Sho Tsukioka is an anomaly even as far as Shiroiwa Class 3-B goes; heâs not found his other half but heâs twice as flamboyant as the boys who have found their soulmates in another boy. But then, heâs always been this way. As soon as he realized he preferred boys to anyone else, he had been loud and proud of himself from the very beginning. It helped that his father had always been there for him, and there were plenty of regulars at his bar who were more than willing to lend a sympathetic ear to the confused teenager trying to figure himself out until he finally had all of the labels and definitions smoothed out in his mind.
The Numai Family is stretched out on the bleachers, accompanying Izumi to viewing track practice for lack of anything else to do. Sho wants to know why sheâs so interested in the track team, figures it must be one of the members of it but never bothers to inquire further.
Sandwiched between Mitsuru and Ryuhei, cigarette in hand, heâs comfortable enough.
âSo Iâm gonna take a wild guess here,â Ryuhei finally says. âWe canât fuck with Kiriyama now.â
Mitsuru snorts in his direction. âUnless you wanna get on Kawadaâs bad side? No.â
âI think Iâm missing something here,â Sho says, taking a slow drag off of his cigarette and exhaling. âWhy exactly arenât we messing with Kiriyama now? I know Souma wanted us to take it easy on him, but what does Kawada have to do with anything?â
Ryuhei rolls his eyes at him. âYou know, youâve been slow on the upkeep when it comes to being in everyoneâs business lately. Kiriyama got picked up by the lovey dovey quartet last week.â
Mitsuru elbows him in the side lightly. âWhatâs been going on with you, Zuki?â
Instead of answering, Sho just flicks ash off of the end of his cigarette and leans against the bleacher behind him. Itâs enough of a signal for Mitsuru to drop the question, which heâs relieved about because he doesnât really want to answer him. Heâd promised himself a long time ago heâd never tell one of his friends if he happened to get a crush on one of them.
Especially Mitsuru. Heâd been following Mitsuruâs lead for the last few years and, admittedly, the almost-pretty boy with the charismatic smile and the ability to keep their patchwork group together with few issues along the way had been the one to make him question himself.
But knowing how Mitsuru feels about the soul mate business, he knew telling him he liked him was only going to slip a wedge between them, and that was the last thing he wanted.
So, Sho did the right thing, and he kept his mouth shut.
When they graduate high school, the Numai Family splits up for the most part, which Mitsuru is not surprised by; theyâd grown into different people with different futures laid out for them. The only person who ended up remaining with him was Sho. They had ended up being accepted to the same university, though Mitsuru had no way of knowing this until he and his mother were in the process of moving him into his dorm room. The sound of an all-too-familiar voice had him lifting his head, eyes widening a touch, to where the door was still wide open.
Less than a minute later, Sho Tsukioka and his father walked into the room.
âMitsuru,â Sho says, surprised, pursing his lips. âWell, isnât this quite the surprise?â
âHello, Akira, dear,â Mitsuruâs mother says without missing a beat, setting out a package of hangers on top of Mitsuruâs bed. âMr. Tsukioka, itâs nice to see you as well. Itâll be nice for our boys to have each other here, wonât it? Especially on a campus this large.â
In answer, Shoâs father laughs and grins. âAbsolutely. They were close all throughout school.â
âPrecisely. Itâs always good to have a friend nearby, isnât it, Mitsuru?â He almost doesnât notice when his mother lays his hand on his shoulder, too shocked to see Sho standing here.
He gives himself a shake and nods, turning to smile at her. âYeah, it really is.â
âIâll just leave you to get unpacked now.â She pulls him into a bone-crushing hug. âCall, okay?â
Mitsuru promises his mother heâll call and does his best to be non-intrusive while Sho and his father say their goodbyes. Heâs more shocked than he has the words to express it with.
The awkwardness slips away as time passes and they start to talk to each other again. Without the buffer of the rest of the Numai Family around, Sho wasnât sure how things would work out between the two of them. And secretly, he canât help but think this has to be some kind of sign of things to come. After all, Mitsuru had been determined to wait, and Sho had assumed he would finish out high school, never getting to tell Mitsuru how he felt about him, and he would eventually move on from the crush and find whoever was out there for him in due time. Heâd finally been able to let go of the scant hope that something might happen between them, telling himself he needed to be ready for university and all of the opportunities to come⊠And yet, here Mitsuru is.
âIâm actually really relieved to have a familiar face here,â Mitsuru tells him on their third night.
Sho looks up from the complete destruction of his bed, overrun with textbooks and notebooks as he tries to figure out some system of organization. Now that he has serious schooling to think about, he needs to find a way to structure things so he can actually get something done. Dropping out of college is not on his list of things to do in the near future, after all.
âI am, too,â he confesses, rolling his shoulders to work the stiffness out of them. âI was mildly concerned my roommate might not be a fan of gay guys in the first place, yâknow.â
Mitsuru grins at him and nods, tapping his pen against the notebook sitting on his lap. âNo, no, I get it. I was worried my roommate might say something about me being bi, too.â
âBi?â Sho cocks his head to make sure he heard correctly, then hums when Mitsuru nods at him. âI knew my gaydar is never wrong. I thought I felt something pinging off of you.â
Mitsuru laughs and goes back to making notes on something heâs reading while Sho resists the urge to have a breakdown right here and now. Instead, he takes a slow breath and goes back to his books, telling himself he needs to concentrate on something safe now⊠And remember that Mitsuru never asked him, thank you very much, so heâs not going to do anything.
Of course he wants to. Even if itâs just something as simple as threading their fingers together to see if the world around them changes at all⊠But he wonât, because he knows Mitsuru wants to wait, and he has every intention of giving him as much time as he needs.
Still, that doesnât stop him from silently hoping just the same.
âHe was a jerk,â Sho says. Theyâre shoulder to shoulder on the floor of their room, backs against Mitsuruâs bed, watching a movie together. âI really fucking hated him. Super pretentious.â
Mitsuru throws back his head and canât help but laugh at that. Heâd noticed the way Sho wrinkled his nose every time his ex flexed his vocabulary skills where Sho could hear.
âI thought you were going to punch him, you know,â Mitsuru admits. âI could see you just itching to reach over and sock him a few times. I donât think I would have stopped you.â
âWell now you tell me.â Sho throws his hands up in the air. âWhen I canât do anything about it!â
This only makes Mitsuru laugh harder, and he presses his face into Shoâs shoulder in an effort to muffle himself, his own shoulders shaking with the force of it. Funny how he had expected breaking up with his first boyfriend to be a more emotional experience, at least a more painful one if nothing else, but Sho being here for him through it all has smoothed the pathway far more than he expected. Shoâs presence, in general, has made everything better.
Not for the first time, but certainly an urge stronger than the ones he has felt before, Mitsuru wants to reach out and take Shoâs hand in his. Just to see, because he wants to know, because he thinks he already knows, and he thinks he should have known for years, but at least he finally got there on his own. But that doesnât really seem a grand enough gesture for this.
Sho looks down at him, eyebrow raised. âIs my shoulder that comfortable, then?â
âYouâre very comfortable,â Mitsuru tells him, and he could be imagining things, but he doesnât think heâs mistaking the way Shoâs eyes widen down at him. âCan I ask you a question?â
The way Sho cocks his head is adorable, but he nods nevertheless. âYou know you can ask me anything you want to, Mitsu, I really donât care to answer your questions.â
âI told you a long time ago that I wanted to wait to see if someone was my soulmate. I wanted to be sure of what I wanted first, yâknow?â Mitsuru swallows hard around the words, but the way Shoâs eyes widen at him tells him heâs following perfectly well. âHow about a kiss to find out?â
The strangled little sound that Sho makes at him has him convinced he definitely went too far in asking this, but then Sho grabs him by the front of his shirt and pulls him closer, and presses a fierce kiss to his lips that warms Mitsuru from the inside out. It takes him a minute to breathe, to actually move his lips, and by then Shoâs grip on him has softened, a hand around the back of his neck and another resting at his waist. Heâs intent, passionate even, and Mitsuru smiles into a little. Even if the world doesnât change for either of them, heâs not sure he needs it to.
Heâs pleasantly surprised at Shoâs eyes when the kiss breaks, the particularly warm shade of brown that his eyes are and the pink flush in his cheeks from the force of their kiss.
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Secret Admirer.
Tsukioka Sho/Takiguchi Yuichiro Battle Royale 6,000~ words. Sfw.
Yuichiro has known heâs been attracted to other boys for a while now, but his latest crush on Sho Tsukioka of the Kiriyama Family refuses to go away. When he starts leaving Sho little presents in the form of manga he thinks Sho might like without signing his name to the cards, Sho is bewildered. Who would be leaving him presents, and isnât being an admirer his job in the first place? And for the first time, Hiroshi just might be right about something. Modern day non-Program AU. Tagging @hironoshimizuâ and @yoshimiyahagiâ
Most people knew well enough to leave the Kiriyama Family as alone as humanly possible; avoiding them in the hallways at all costs and doing their best not to aggravate or anger them in any way. Yuichiro Takiguchi avoided them even more so than most did, knowing as well as anyone else that he would become a target for bullying if he strayed too close to them or made one of them angry. Especially Ryuhei Sasagawa; his temper was legendary and rested on a hair trigger, and even small things were enough to upset him.
So Yuichiro stayed away from the Kiriyama Family. Even when the first stirrings of the crush made themselves known in the middle of a test, he stayed away.
He remembers that day all too well, the day that really made his life at school that much extra hell. The classroom was quiet except for the scratching of pencils and pens on paper and the whispers of Kazuo Kiriyama turning the pages in his book; he had already finished twenty minutes ago, only six or seven after the test had been handed out. Yuichiro was about halfway through the bulk of the test, tapping the eraser end of his pencil against his lower lip.
His eyes were drawn again and again to the boy sitting diagonally from him, broad shoulders relaxed, thumb clicking the end of his pen. Despite the heat of summer still stirring this far into September, he had managed to find a way to keep his pompadour perfectly in place, and he looked immaculate as always. Unable to help himself, Yuichiro admired the way his strong hands looked around the slender length of his pen.
For the last two years or so, Yuichiro was well aware he had an attraction to other boys. He had started out with a fledgling crush on his best friend, Tadakatsu Hatagami, that had faded away with time. Heâd found himself interested in some of the other jocks in class, boys like Tatsumichi Oki with his friendly smile and Shinji Mimura with his cocky smirk. Nothing had ever come of those crushes, though. Tatsu is only a good friend, and Shinji a veritable stranger.
Nonetheless, those crushes had been innocent. Even if Tatsu and Shinji had found out Yuichiro had crushes on them, neither of them would have much cared. They would have been understanding about it, not likely to do anything about it. But this⊠This was different, and Yuichiro knew that better than anyone. This time, he has a crush on Sho Tsukioka.
And Sho Tsukioka is a member of the Kiriyama Family.
It was such a stereotype. Yuichiro couldnât help laughing to himself about that later on when he realized that the stirrings he felt were more than just curiosity. In the few manga heâd read that featured two boys datingâ they were few and far between but he read them when he could find themâ it was always a quiet, bookish type that fell for some handsome badboy.
Sho had never been cruel to him. Truth be told, the only thing Sho seemed to have the patience to spend considerable time on was his own appearance and his crushes on Kazuo Kiriyama and Shinji Mimura. He didnât pick on people or bully them the way that the rest of the Family did.
When Yuichio turned in his test, fully completed, he couldnât help but find himself staring at Sho on the way back to his desk. Out of the corner of his eye, of course, too terrified to be caught staring and asked what he was doing. Sho had just finished his test and was filing his nails, humming a song beneath his breath that Yuichiro didnât recognize, one that probably went along with the song playing through his earbuds. As always, he looked impeccable up close.
Sho was handsome, all strong lines in his face, an interesting contrast to his full lips and long, long eyelashes. Yuichiro shook his head, went back to his desk, and laid his head down on the cool wood as he tried to figure out where he was supposed to go from here.
It had been over a month since that test, and to the best of his ability, Yuichiro has been unable to shake the crush. If anything, itâs only grown worse as time has passed. He catches himself staring at Sho far too often, whether it be in class, across the cafeteria, or during the irregular moments when the Kiriyama Family makes themselves visible at baseball games. It isnât often, of course, because they have better things to do, but when theyâre bored, they show up.
Days like today, actually. Yuichiro has been doing his best to focus on the game at hand, cheering on his best friend Katsu when Katsu does something particularly brilliant. Heâs one of the best on the team, especially once Shuya Nanahara had dropped baseball in favor of learning to play guitar. But when Sho is sitting just a few rows down with the rest of the Kiriyama Family, Yuichiro finds itâs a lot more difficult to focus than it is usually.
âWhat are you staring at?â The question comes from Yutaka Seto, who is seated next to him with his boyfriend Shinji Mimuraâs varsity jacket draped over his shoulders. Itâs too hot to wear it properly but Shinji had given it to him last year and heâs found a way to wear it ever since even if it just means wrapping it around his shoulders.
Yuichiro jumps at the question, then shakes his head at himself. âNothing, nothing. Iâm just⊠Distracted, I guess. Thinking about the test we have coming up for history.â
âI can help you study if you want to. Iâm good at history.â At this, Yutaka beams and Yuichiro has to chuckle a little. Yutaka has always been smart, not the smartest in the class but smart enough to have a high grade point average. âSeriously, though, whatâs bothering you? Itâs not that somethingâs bothering me⊠Well. Maybe something is bothering me.â Yuichiro picks at a loose thread on his sleeve, resisting the urge to gnaw on his lower lip and risk having a bloody lip in the process.
Yutaka stretches out a hand and rests it on Yuichiroâs shoulder tenderly. âIf you want to talk about it, just let me know and Iâll listen to what you have to say. You know I will.â
âI justâŠâ Yuichiro trails off, shoving his sleeve into his mouth to stop himself from biting his lip in its place. âI just have a crush on someone, is all. Thatâs what I was thinking about.â
There is silence between them then, Yutakaâs eyes widening a touch and then softening with understanding as he wraps his arm around Yuichiroâs shoulders. Of course he understands, his crush on Shinji had led to their relationship forming, but itâs hardly that simple in Yuichiroâs case. As much as he appreciates his friend offering him a shoulder to lean on, he knows this canât be solved so easily with a simple conversation. After all, Shinji was already Yutakaâs best friend. Sho probably has no idea that Yuichiro even exists.
âAre you going to tell me who itâs on?â Yutaka asks him after a few silent minutes have passed.
Yuichiro debates the merit of telling him, then shakes his head before leaning it on Yutakaâs shoulder. âI donât think Iâm ready to admit it right now, actually.â
His eyes stray to where Sho is sitting, his phone visible in one hand. Texting Yahagi, maybe, Yuichiro knows the two of them have become friends as of late.
âBesides,â he adds softly, âI donât think he knows that I exist.â
On Monday morning, Yuichiro finds himself hovering beside Shoâs locker, having arrived at school early enough that no other students would be present. Thereâs a gift bag in his hands, a bright pink ribbon pinned to the front with a card attached that simply says âSho Tsukiokaâ in a careful script. He practiced it over and over in his notebook until he was confident he had a good style choice, something befitting someone as elegant as Sho.
He knows nothing about Shoâs interests or tastes because Sho by and large keeps to himself, and the only thing he puts on display is his vibrant personality. So with nothing to go by and no real way to buy Sho a present he might like or need, he settled for giving Sho something that might at least appeal to him based on who he is as a person.
The mangas are copies of the ones that Yuichiro already owns, ridiculous soft romance between boys in the same class who end up falling in love with each other. A lot of them reminded him of the situation between himself and Sho, one of them almost perfect for the way he feels about Sho. It was only a few volumes long, a story about a quiet boy with very few friends who ended up falling in love with the biggest yankee in his class.
Chewing on his lower lip, Yuichiro looks quickly from left to right before retrieving the piece of ribbon from his pocket, threading it through the grate on the front of the locker and knotting it around the handles of the gift bag. He makes sure itâs tied as tightly as possible, happy to see the ribbon can support the weight of the bag, and quickly scurries away before heâs caught.
He meets up with Katsu at the doors of the library, still clocked and locked this early, the room beyond still dark. Katsu raises an eyebrow at him, settling an arm comfortable across his shoulders. âWhere you been all this time? I got your text last night and slept in a little.â
âOh good, Iâm glad you saw it.â He had sent the text late after heâd finally put the finishing touches on Shoâs gift that Katsu didnât need to walk the extra blocks to meet him outside of his house. âI just had to do something this morning, thatâs all. Did you get your studying done?â
âMore or less. I would have texted you back but I was in the middle of note cards and didnât want to lose my rhythm. You know how it goes.â Katsu flashes him a bright smile.
âYeah, I know exactly what you mean.â Yuichiro breathes a nervous sigh when he starts seeing people walking through the halls, mostly the early birds like him and Katsu, but still.
Katsu reaches into his bag and retrieves the stack of note cards held together by a metal ring. âActually, since weâve got some time before class starts, would you mind quizzing me before the test? Gotta keep my grades up if I want to stay on the team.â
Sho Tsukioka arrives to school earlier than the rest of the Kiriyama Family. Ryuhei and Hiroshi catch the bus together and show up right before class starts, not caring if they happen to be late to class. Mitsuru and Kazuo meet up outside of Kazuoâs house and walk the rest of the day and they show up with fifteen minutes until the beginning of class. Sho walks to school without meeting either group because he doesnât want to spend much time with Ryuhei and Hiroshi if he can manage not to, and he knows he canât interrupt Mitsuru and Kazuo.
He arrives to school at his usual time, humming along to the music blasting through his earbuds as he walks along the hallway to his locker. Unlike what most people might believe, he gets himself properly prepared for class and is ready to go as soon as the bell rings. Today will be no different, but the sight of the gift bag on his locker makes him pause.
The only two boys in class he has attempted actively pursuing are Kazuo and Shinji Mimura. The former had been nearly impossible to woo, and just when Sho had been convinced Kazuo would never like anyone, Kazuo had shown up to school one morning holding Mitsuru Numaiâs hand. The latter was currently dating his best friend Yutaka Seto, which made sense. Sho can be jealous, but he canât exactly pretend he doesnât understand the merit of dating a best friend.
There hasnât been anyone else who really caught his eye, and as far as he knows, none of the boys in class who are actively interested in men are interested in him. Does that mean this gift is a from a girl? He hopes not because heâs been nothing but loud and to the point about his sexuality, never feeling ashamed of being himself.
âOh,â he says aloud to himself, tugging an earbud out of his ear as he touches the card attached to the bag. âNo name, huh? Maybe itâs from Yoshimi or something. Itâs not my birthday, thoughâŠâ
He canât really think of anyone who might have given him a gift, much less what the gift itself might be. His only choice is to open the bag and hope the contents are obvious enough that they give away who the gift might have been from. Dropping his bag on the ground in front of his locker, he carefully unknots the ribbon suspending the bag and peeks inside.
The sight of what is obviously a half dozen books confuses him even further. He glances around from left to right but no one else is in sight this early in the morning. Carefully, he fishes one of the books out and blinks at the colorful cover, turning it around to read the back. A yaoi manga? Who on earth would give him something like this? Plenty of people read manga in class, but he canât imagine any of them reading something like this. The more he reads of the description, though, the more intriguing the book sounds. Maybe he can give it a read sometime.
He opens his locker, deposits what he doesnât need for the first class inside, and retrieves what he does need. He takes his textbook, his binder, his notebook, and the gift bag, and goes to sit on the bench beside the art classroom where the Kiriyama Family usually meets.
âAre you sure you didnât give these to me?â Sho brandishes one of the manga in front of Yoshimiâs face the next morning. Never much of a reader, he found himself pulling out the first book after he finished his test and turned it in and was surprised when it was engrossing enough to keep reading. By the time he turned out the light to go to sleep, heâd finished them.
Yoshimi frowns at him and shakes her head, swirling a French fry around in her ketchup. It isnât unusual for Sho to join the Souma gang for lunch anymore, just like itâs not unusual for Hiroshi to pop over with him, having formed his own strange friendship with Hirono. Who would have thought the one thing Hiroshi was good at was making friends?
âI think I would have remembered giving you books, Zuki,â she says, popping the fry into her mouth, chewing and swallowing before speaking. âWhat did the card say?â
Sho retrieves the card from his bag, tucked safely into one of the internal pockets so nothing would happen to it. âJust my name,â he says, showing it to Yoshimi.
âSomeone has a secret admirer then.â Yoshimi smiles up at him before picking up her sandwich. âYou should just enjoy it and hope for the best. After all, Iâm sure whoever it is is bound to tell you in his own way eventually. Do you have any idea who it might be?â
âNo. Who reads things like this? Other than me, I mean. I happen to think itâs brilliant but I severely doubt anyone else from our class would be into these books,â Sho says.
Hiroshi leans across the table, making a grab for the book. âLet me see it.â
âNo! With my luck youâll manage to ruin it in the five seconds I actually let you touch it.â Sho jerks the manga away from Hiroshiâs hand, smacking him with it. âBesides, you donât need to touch it to look at it. Just look at it with your eyes, okay, Hiroshi?â
âFine, fine. Hold it up to let me see.â Hiroshi scowls at him, pushing messy bangs out of his eyes before leaning across the table to get a better look at the cover.
Sho rolls his eyes but, for the moment at least, decides to humor Hiroshi. He knows thereâs no way HIroshi actually knows what heâs talking about, not when Hiroshi himself can probably barely read a single word. But Hiroshi states intently at the cover, his head cocked to the side, and a slow smile spreads across his face as he snaps his fingers.
âI knew I recognized that book from somewhere. Takiguchi read that series a few weeks ago. I remember thinking that I didnât know he was into that.â Hiroshi leans back in his seat, triumphant, while Sho just stares at him in silence.
Finally, he sets the book down on the table and picks up his sandwich. âShut the fuck up, Hiroshi. Thereâs no way Takiguchi would give me books anyway.â
Across the cafeteria, Yuichiro picks a crouton out of his salad and pops it into his mouth, chewing softly to himself as he reads the book in front of him. Though he hasnât been able to shake his concern about Sho in the least, heâs been able to distract himself from it by working his way through yet another series. His parents have no problem buying him the books, probably glad he has a hobby far less risky than a good number of his peers.
Katsu and Shinji are chatting across the table, Shinji having joined them today so he could sit with Yutaka. The banter makes for excellent background noise to his reading and heâs long since learned to master the art of multitasking so that he can eat his salad and read without dropping any food on his book or not finishing his meal by the end of the lunch period.
âWhat are you reading?â Shinji asks him, nudging him on the shoulder. Though the two of them spoke very little before Shinji began dating Yutaka, theyâve managed to get to the point where they can have actual conversations with each other.
âItâs a sports manga, actually, you might even like it.â Yuichiro retrieves the first volume from his bag having finished it earlier this morning, holding it out for Shinji to inspect. âItâs not basketball, but youâre pretty athletic, right? Iâm sure you like more sports than basketball.â
Shinji grins and tips him a wink. âI love every sport. Basketballâs just what Iâm best at.â
Preoccupied with his conversation with Shinji, Yuichiro fails to notice the moment when Sho glances across the cafeteria at him, a considering expression on his face.
Two weeks go by, and Sho finds himself receiving more bags as the time goes by. Each bag is a different color with a different ribbon attached, and heâs ultimately very surprised to find that all of them are yaoi manga. All of them are also excellent. Hiroshi and Ryuhei crack jokes at him for reading them in the first placeâ Kazuo doesnât care and Mitsuru even sidles up next to him during a particular steamy kiss sceneâ but he still reads them, and he tries to figure out if Hiroshi might have been right after all. Nothing would make him more annoyed.
He tries to catch Yuichiro Takiguchiâs eye in the hallways and usually fails, the boy too absorbed in his manga to pay attention to anything else. Itâs cute how he manages to read without running into anyone, though, his dark hair falling into his eyes every so often until he finally has to tuck it back out of his face with adorable fingers.
âDo you think it really might be him?â Mitsuru asks him one afternoon. Theyâve chosen to skip math in favor of sitting out on the football field inside of the track, Mitsuru staring up at the cloudy sky while Sho smokes and reads the latest volume heâd been given.
âI donât know,â Sho admits, marking his place before setting the book down on his lap. âWhen did you finally realize that Kiriyama-kun liked you back?â
Mitsuru pushes his curls back out of his eyes before tilting his head, raising an eyebrow at Sho with an amused smile on his lips. âAre you kidding me? It was just as much of a surprise to me as it was to everyone else. Heâs a mystery. I havenât even come close to solving him.â
Though Sho usually lives for lovey dovey drivel like this, he canât help but roll his eyes and throw himself back on the grass, blowing smoke up toward the sky. He had been chasing Kazuo for months to no avail, and considering Kazuoâs perfectly blank expressions and his odd behavior, wooing him had been nearly impossible no matter what Sho tried. In the end, Mitsuru had somehow managed to succeed. Sho has to admit heâs a little bit proud of him.
âItâs probably stupid for me to assume itâs him just because he likes manga too, butâŠâ Sho shrugs a shoulder. Even Mitsuru reads manga from time to time. âI dunno. I have no leads.â
Gently, Mitsuru pushes at his shoulder. âHey, a thought. Wild, I know, but⊠Why donât you just ask for him yourself? Iâm sure he wouldnât mind telling you if he does like you.â
Sho bites his lip, tilting his head back to look up at the sky as he thinks it over. âI mean, I could do that, I think. But I also donât want to completely humiliate myself if it turns out Iâm way off base. Like, what if heâs not interested in me and I was wrong about who it was?â
âWould it really be that big of a deal?â Mitsuru asks.
âI mean, maybe not to you, but it would be to me.â Sho knows himself, knows how vain he is and knows how much pride he has, and he doesnât really want to think about having to sacrifice any of it in case heâs wrong. âIâll have to figure something out. I need to figure out who this is.â
âLet me ask you something.â Mitsuru rolls over onto his front, chin propped on his hands, and not for the first time Sho has to admit to himself that he might be eternally jealous of Mitsuru stealing his crush away from him but heâs also not surprised because Mitsuru is gorgeous. âIf it was Takiguchi, what would you do about it? Would you be interested in him back?â
The question throws Sho off. He hadnât really thought about what he would do once he found out who his crush was. After all, his only thoughts had been about finding the person sending him these manga just to put a name and face to the gift bags. All things considered, he hadnât thought much about what he would do once he figured out who it was. He needed to know before he could make a proper decision, after all. It wasnât like he would even so much as consider spending a single moment alone with Yoji Kuramoto or Kazushi Niida.
âI guess weâll have to find my secret admirer first,â he finally says, earning a respectful nod from Mitsuru in response. âAnd when we do that, Iâll decide what to do about him from there.â
Yuichiro notices the moment when Sho and Mitsuru exit the classroom and do not return for the next class, slumping down in his seat and sighing softly. Weeks have passed with no increase in his courage or strength. He hasnât told Sho how he feels about him yet and even though it would be in his best interest to tell him sooner rather than later, he canât. Every time he manages to summon enough nerve to do so, he almost immediately talks himself out of it. Besides, what would someone like Sho want with someone like him?
Katsu must notice his expression because he leans over and taps Yuichiro on the shoulder. âHey, whatâs up with you? You look upset about something.â
âIâm just thinking too hard about things, you know. Thatâs what I do sometimes.â He manages a small smile for his best friend and sits up straighter in his chair, reaching into his bag for something to read to take his mind off of things. âIâll get over it. Itâs no big deal.â
âWe can do something after school if you want. Go out, find a way to take your mind off of whatâs bothering you.â Katsu flashes him a hopeful grin, all bright white teeth.
The last thing Yuichiro wants to do right now is go out because he knows the Kiriyama Family frequents the city especially in the evening, but he feels bad because he doesnât want to let Katsu overworry about him. So he nods and flashes Katsu a smile of his own. âSure thing. Just letâs stop at our places first so we can change out of our uniforms into something comfortable.â
Katsu nods and Yuichiro considers the matter settled, fixing his eyes on Shoâs chair once more before turning to the manga in his hands. He doesnât notice Katsu glancing in the same direction, nor does he notice Katuâs concerned expression as he turns back to his own desk.
The afternoon becomes a group venture instead of just the two of them, because as soon as Yutaka and Yoshio catch on that heâs upset about something, they want to tag along. And of course Shinji and Tatsu come with them, because Shinji and Yutaka are nearly attached at the hip and Tatsu, well⊠Yuichiro would like to think heâs noticed the way Tatsu occasionally stares in Yoshioâs direction, but he isnât sure. He keeps his nose out of it, though, because the last thing he wants to do is become involved with something that has nothing to do with him.
They settle on the mall, though, spending a little time shopping before they go about doing anything else. Yoshio picks up a new game and Yuichiro does the same, the two of them already talking about hooking up to play together. Yutaka cracks jokes every time he gets the chance, and though a good portion of them are just corny, Shinji laughs at all of them. More than once, Yuichiro just has to lean back and marvel at how cute the two of them are.
After they eat in the food court, he and Yoshio drag the others upstairs to the arcade. Itâs the last place that Yuichiro expects to see them, if heâs being honest. They might be typical teenage boysâ or at least most of them, if you could even call Kiriyama typicalâ but an arcade seems beneath them somehow. As soon as Yoshio notices Ryuhei, he takes a step back.
âHey, donât worry about him.â Tatsu drops a comforting hand onto his shoulder and though Yoshio jumps initially, he relaxes when he sees who touched him. âIf he tries to bother you, youâve got three badass jocks here to deal with him. That short punkâs nothing.â
Shinji chimes in, thumping Tatsu on the back. âHeâs right. Iâm not the least bit afraid of the Kiriyama Family and Iâm not going to let them mess with you.â
âMe either.â Katsu flashes his bright white smile again, and between the three of them, itâs enough to calm Yoshio down enough to make him smile. âTrust us, okay? Weâre all going to have a good time without anyone fucking it up for us.â
Yuichiro does his best to enjoy himself now that heâs out with his friends and everyone is ready to have a good time. And he tries his best to keep from focusing on Sho because the last thing he wants to do is ruin the entire point for this trip in the first place. But why did they have to show up here? Of all places. Yuichiro has been here a dozen times before and has never seen any of them here, and he canât believe theyâre here now.
The fact that Sho is ignoring the âno smokingâ signs in the room, cigarette in hand, should be annoying, but instead Yuichiro finds it amusing. He wants to ask Sho if heâs ever just followed the rules once in his entire life, but he knows he canât.
âHeâs kind of cute,â Mitsuru tells Sho across the room, the two of them sitting at a table and sharing a plate of nachos. Kazuo sits between Mitsuru and the wall, his phone in hand and another book open on the screen. âI mean, if you like them short and baby-faced.â
Sho scowls at him. âYes, because youâre one to talk with the curls and the big doe eyes. Anyway, what do you think? I didnât even know they were going to be here. Itâs gotta be fate, right?â
âMaybe, maybe not. Itâs up to you to see it through.â Mitsuru picks up a chip and offers it to Kazuo, who bites it from between his fingers without turning away from his phone.
He has a point even if Sho doesnât like to admit it. He puts his cigarette out and pushes himself to his feet, telling himself to try to appear as nonthreatening as possible even though his size and status as a member of the Kiriyama Family make that nearly impossible. Which is a pity, because heâs not much of a fighter and he never has been. He keeps to himself and only gets involved in scuffles when heâs needed, which is typically when Kazuo doesnât want to get his hands dirty. He doesnât bully anyone, he doesnât start trouble. He just collects gossip.
The arcade is crowded but people step out of Shoâs way when they see him approaching; the reach of the Kiriyama Family goes a long way. Yuichiro and his cute friend Yutaka Seto are in front of a game, Yuichiro playing while Yutaka cheers him on, and not for the first time, Sho wonders how someone like Yuichiro could have fallen for someone like him.
Itâs stupid to think the mangas contained any hidden messages, he knows that much. It was the one thing Yuichiro could give him that he thought Sho might like considering they knew next to nothing about each other. He picked manga he thought might appeal to Sho and he wasnât wrong in his choices, and it was manga because thatâs what Yuichiro knows best. The only hint in those pages had been the cuter ones about the shy boys and the yankees they liked.
Yutaka sees him coming, his hand instantly flying to Yuichiroâs shoulder to give it a shake. âI donât know what you did to piss off the Kiriyama Family but this looks like bad news.â
âWhat?â Yuichiro spins around instantly, his bright brown eyes widening when he realizes Sho is hovering behind both of them, not really sure what to do himself. âO-oh, Tsukioka! I thought I saw some of you here. I didnât realize you liked arcades.â
âItâs more Hiroshi and Ryuhei. Mitsuru and I are just here for food and Kiriyama-kun, wellâŠâ Sho leans slightly out of the way, watching both Yuichiro and Yutaka lean around him to see where Kazuo is leaning against Mitsuru, reading silently. âMitsuru is the one who suggested I come talk to you, actually. Are you the one whoâs been leaving me the books?â
He doesnât miss the way Yuichiroâs cheeks pinken even in the half-dark arcade. âOh, so you figured that out,â he says after a moment, tugging at the cuffs of his sleeves.
âWait.â Yutaka furrows his eyebrows, jerking his head back and forth between the two of them. âWhat books? Why are you giving someone books? Why would you give Tsukioka books? I donâtâ Wait. Wait! Heâs the one you have the crush on, isnât he?â
Silently, Yuichiro nods. âAnd it looks like he figured it out, too.â
âHiroshi was the one who figured it out, actually. Iâm kind of pissed off that he was right. I hate it when Hiroshi is right about absolutely anything.â Sho gives himself a shake. No one wants to hear about that kind of talk right now. âAnyway, so it has been you after all.â
âUm, yeah. I wanted to give you something but I didnât know what to give you. I donât really know much about you, I justâŠâ Yuichiro trails off and drops his head, and Sho bites back a sigh.
âHeâs shy,â Yutaka finally says, throwing an arm around Yuichiroâs shoulders and giving them a squeeze. âYou think the guys in those manga were shy? If Yuichiro catches his reflectionâs eye in the mirror he makes himself blush. You should have seen the one time heââ
Yuichiro rounds on Yutaka, clapping a hand over his mouth. âShut! Youâre making me look bad.â
âHeâs really not,â Sho offers, unable to admit the truth. If anything, Yutaka is just making Yuichiro look that much cuter, and Sho has always been weak when it comes to cute boys. Call it a curse. âLook, Iâm⊠Well, you probably know Iâm not exactly the safest option when it comes to the available guys in our class. But I mean⊠Iâm not unwilling to give it a shot. This. Us.â
âUs.â Yuichiro squeaks out the word, covering his mouth with his sleeve.
Yutaka throws his hands up in the air. âI canât believe this. Yuichiro, you finally got what you wanted. He knows, and he likes you back. Didnât you tell me at the game you didnât think the guy you liked even knew you existed? Now you know he does.â
Sho blinks. âWhat are you even talking about, Seto?â
âItâs stupid, just ignore him.â Yuichiro gives his friend a stern look, but all Yutaka does is pull a face at him in answer. âI didnât⊠Look, I donât want you to think you have to do this or anything. I donât care if you donât like me back, but like⊠Donât just humor me or anything, okay? I donât want to be humored, I just want⊠I just want something real.â
âWell, all I can say for certain is that youâre cute, and it was really nice of you to give me the books. I read them all and I enjoyed them.â Sho shrugs his broad shoulders, then sets one hand on Yuichiroâs much smaller one. âThe best I can tell you is that Iâd like to give it a shot.â
Yuichiro blinks up at him a few times before giving a small nod, a tiny smile curving his soft lips as he rocks back and forth on the balls of his feet. Heâs a cute, nervous little thing, that much Sho can tell. âI⊠Iâd really like that, Tsukioka. If you donât mind.â
âI really donât. And itâs Sho. Or Zuki, thatâs the nickname I prefer.â Sho tilts his head toward the game. âWhat are you playing? Iâm not sure I know anything about the games here.â
Across the arcade, Hiroshi Kuronaga grins from beneath his beanie, completely ignoring the sound of Ryuhei Sasagawa bitching about not cracking the top ten high scores on the first person shooter heâs working on. So he was right after all.
On the other side of the arcade, Tadakatsu Hatagami smiles to himself at the sight of Yuichiro chatting happily away to Sho Tsukioka. This explains so much of his strange behavior, even the wistful look he had given Shoâs empty chair. And now, finally, Katsu can breathe a sigh of relief.
His eyes wander across the room to where Hiroshi and Ryuhei are standing, and even from here he can see the little smile on Hiroshiâs face. And finally, he manages to breathe a sigh of relief. At least it wasnât Hiroshi after all.
#battle royale#yuichiro takiguchi#sho tsukioka#background shintaka#background hiroshi/katsu#it's been 84 fucking years and i finally wrote it out i'm so happy#*f: mine#*f: br#*f: sho#*f: yuichiro
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Give It A Shot
Souma Mitsuko/Chigusa Takako Battle Royale 2100~ words. Sfw.
Mitsuko Souma had long since given up the idea that anyone would ever be enough to deserve a shot. She was happy to spend all of her days in a world of black and white. Takako Chigusa, however, is not. A prequel to the whole damned soulmate AU. Movie âverse, non-Program.
Mitsuko Souma did not believe in fairytales. She did not believe in soulmates. All she believed was that life could be cruel and cold and there would be an endless sea of shades of grey in her vision for the rest of her life. From the moment when her mother first tried to pimp her out to some sleazy guy to the moment when she realized what she had to do to survive, what she had to rely on, she gave up on any idea of the concept of âlove.â Someone who loved her so much her vision would swim with color? Laughable at best, she would rather die alone.
This afternoon is no different than the ones before, the six of them kicked back on the bleachers by the track field where the track runners are already practicing. Mitsuko has a cigarette between her lips, her mind wandering, her vision focused on nothing in particular. Yoshimi and Yoji are sitting hand in hand, whispering back and forth, while Hirono talks with Mayumi and Fumiyo.
School had let out early and with nothing else to do for the rest of the day, they had laid claim to one of their main spots. As far as Mitsuko was concerned, she could spend the rest of the day here and it would ultimately mean nothing. These days, she just goes through the motions.
âSheâs really fast, isnât she?â Hirono asks, jarring Mitsuko out of her quiet state.
Her eyes flick back toward the track, to the recognizable figure of Takako Chigusa, her dark hair shining beneath the sunlight while she rounds the first curve of the track. Her light tracksuit is almost blinding on a clear, cloudless day like this one. Mitsuko thinks that might be on purpose.
âSheâs one of the fastest weâve ever had,â she says when no one else speaks.
Yoji makes a face at her. âDid you know Kazushi Niida likes her? Heâs fucking obsessed, I swear.â
âGross.â Hirono wrinkles her nose, giving her head a shake. âHe has that awful poodle hair.â
âShe doesnât like anyone but Sugimura, so I donât think heâs got a chance anyway,â Fumiyo says, and Mitsuko hums. She had heard something like that, too, or so she thought.
Privately, to herself, she has thought about Takako Chigusa before. One of the prettiest girls in school, she exudes an air of donât fuck with me wherever she goes and Mitsuko would be lying if she said she wasnât privately in awe of the way Takako carried herself.
Hirono snaps her fingers. âSugimura reminds me of a dog, too. No, a puppy. A sad puppy.â
The conversation breaks down into a battle of which classmates look like which dogs, and Mitsuko chooses not to invest herself in it. Instead, she flicks her cigarette butt away and removes another cigarette from the pack, wondering idly what fire looks like in color as she lights it.
When Kazushi Niida grabs Takako by the arm after her track practice one day, she turns around and belts him across the face. He runs away with his tail tucked between his legs.
Relief floods her gut when she realizes her world is still in black and white instead of even a little bit in color. She had always been worried in the back of her mind that she might be stuck with him one day, worried that she might have been forced to entertain someone she hated as her soulmate. After all, she did not doubt for one moment that life could be cruel.
She slams her locker door shut and stalks out of the locker room with a smile on her face.
It isnât like Mitsuko to spend any time with the rest of the student body, just her handful of so-called friends when the silence gets to her and she doesnât want to be on her own. There was nothing better to do and none of them feel like making the trek to the city, so they find themselves at the track meet. Hirono, Mayumi, and Fumiyo are passing a flask back and forth, chatting easily with one another while Yoshimi and Yoji spend their time messily kissing each other.
Mitsuko only sits with them for about fifteen minutes before pushing herself to her feet and walking down a few steps to find the Numai Family occupying an entire row themselves. Itâs easy considering just how many of the student body is terrified of them, but Mitsuru sees Mitsuko coming, smiles broadly up at her, and pushes his bag off of the seat for her to sit next to him.
âSouma,â he greets her, and Mitsuko nods to him as she drops down next to him, leaning against the empty seat behind her. âNice to see youâre still willing to lower yourself to come sit next to me. Want a drink? Ryuhei brought a few bottles with him in case this got boring.â
Mitsuko shakes her head, lighting up a cigarette before offering one to Mitsuru. âNope, Iâm good, Iâve got something of my own if I need it. What are you even doing here?â
To say the Numai Family has a lack of school spirit would be a joke in and of itself as they spend most pep rallies out of the gym, intent on finding something better to do with their time. Mitsuko would do the same if she didnât use those opportunities to hide out at the top of the bleachers and nap instead, as itâs much easier to get away with sleeping if she does it when none of the teachers much care what they do anyway. Mitsuru usually texts her where theyâll be if she wants to join them just the same; their friendship goes back to before they became like they are now.
âBoredom. Also, Izumi wanted to watch, and itâs her turn to pick what we do with our evening, so here we are.â Mitsuru rolls a shoulder, the corner of his mouth lifting in a what are you gonna do? expression. Mitsuko understands; his friendship with Izumi means a lot to him. âWhat about you, Suko? You and yours donât do sporting events, at least I thought you didnât.â
âToo lazy and tired to do anything else,â she explains, and Mitsuru makes a noise to show her he understands, chuckling when she removes her flask from her pocket and takes a sip. âI donât even know how long these things are supposed to last. Why does Izumi want to watch, anyway?â
Mitsuru shrugs, and Mitsuko takes that as good enough. They watch the students run in silence.
The track meet lasts much longer than Mitsuko expects it to, as darkness has already begun creeping into the sky when itâs finally over. She rejoins her group of friends to leave, bidding Mitsuru goodbye with a little wave, rolling her eyes when he blows her a kiss. Mayumi looks like she wants to ask but doesnât, and really thatâs the best for all of them.
âWalk away, Kazushi,â she hears when theyâre heading for the fence to leave.
âChigusa, you did such a good job!â The petulant, whiny voice grates on her nerves far more than it should, and she turns without knowing why. âI just wanted to tell you that, thatâs all!â
âI asked you to stay away.â Takako Chigusa does not play games. âNow get away from me.â
Kazushi Niida has never been a bright person. Mitsuko has picked up that fact, along with several others about him, in the short amount of time she has been unfortunate enough to know him. So when he takes a step toward Takako and grabs her by the arm, itâs only natural her instinct is going to be to rip herself away from him. Mitsuko is quietly proud of her but says nothing until Kazushi reaches for her again. At this point, Mitsuko crushes her cigarette beneath her shoe and takes several long strides forward. She knows what happens when girls are preyed upon.
She grabs Kazushi by the shoulder and when he turns around to see who has come up behind him, she catches him with a solid right hook that sends him sprawling out on his ass. He howls, covering his now bloodied nose with his hands, and Mitsuko stalks closer to him, feeling like a predator measuring her prey and smirking when he scrambles away from her.
Takako steps forward, catching her by her upper arm. âThanks for the help, Souma, but Iââ And then Mitsukoâs mind goes white static when the entire world explodes into color. She doesnât have time to think about what this means, not really. She goes on instinct alone, yanking her arm away, whirling around, and bolting fast enough that even some of the track runners make admiring noises.
Mitsuko turns her cell phone off as soon as she gets home, ignoring the voicemails and text messages as she tosses her bag on the floor and flops backwards on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. Her room has color now. Everything has color now.
This was not supposed to happen, not in a million years. She was never supposed to find the person who would be her one and only, not when she was intent on living her life alone. In the back of her mind, she has enough self-awareness to be relieved itâs a girl instead of a boy. She might be able to fuck them without thinking too much about it, but the idea of being with a man permanently for the rest of her life does not sit well with her. Then again, being with someone, at all, had never been a part of the plan. She never wanted something like that.
There were reasons, reasons upon reasons why she would never make a competent soulmate for anyone in the entire world. She never believed in anything close to unconditional love, never believed that she has the capacity to love other people. Why should she even bother trying?
Out of the sake of curiosity and nothing more, she digs last yearâs yearbook out from under her bed and flips through the pages until she finds the track team. Takako has her track suit on and Mitsuko is unsurprised to find the blinding color is actually a very bright yellow. Against her tanned skin and her black hair, the color is more than fitting.
Mitsuko shakes her head, shuts the yearbook, and crams it back beneath her bed. The weekend is here at least, so she can spend the next few days drinking away the tightness in her gut and the ache in her chest. No one will care if she ignores her soulmate and decides not to let fate guide her future. After all, she can take care of herself.
When she shows up to school on Monday morning, still sporting a killer hangover and unwilling to part with the earbuds whose music is keeping her awake, Takako Chigusa is standing at her locker. Her hair is up today, some kind of twisted shape that would look elegant with better clothes than her school uniform. Mitsuko heaves a sigh; she knew she would have to deal with this.
âYou donât need to tell me, Chigusa,â she says, waving for her to move. âIâm not interested.â
Takako scoffs at her and catches her by the arm; Mitsuko pauses, staring at her. âWhat if I am?â
âWhat would you have to be interested in?â Mitsuko shakes her off, fiddles with her combination lock until the door swings open. She keeps waiting for Takako to just give up and walk away from her. âA burnout who spends her free time drinking and jumping people and stealing. Iâm not really cut out to be with anyone longterm, much less someone like you.â
Takako is quiet for a moment, then smiles and cocks her head to the side, raising her eyebrows. âYou never struck me as the type to just give up on something before you even tried,â she says, and Mitsuko stares at her, in the middle of hanging her jacket up. âMaybe we arenât suited to be with each other, but the least we could do is give it a shot and see for ourselves.â
In the end, Takakoâs suggestion sinks home and Mitsuko agrees. She never saw herself as the type to fall for someone like Takako, someone so perfect and put together, as rough around the edges as herself but in an entirely different and more attractive way. No one asks Mitsuko why she insistently drags her friends to the track meets week after week, or why Takako one day walks into the building with Mitsukoâs favorite jacket draped over her shoulders.
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