#RICK ASTLEY IS A TIT

[ostensiblynone]

Rick Astley recalls vandalizing his dressing room sign — and security blaming Noel Gallagher

"Noel Gallagher told me he'd had a bollocking" over the incident, Astley writes in his autobiography "Never."

By Wesley Stenzel | Published on January 21, 2025

Despite his best intentions, Rick Astley admits that he once let Noel down. The "Never Gonna Give You Up" singer recalled inadvertently getting Oasis songwriter Noel Gallagher in trouble for a crime he didn't commit in his autobiography Never. Astley and Gallagher were among the English musicians who played a benefit show commemorating the reopening of Manchester Arena in 2017. The show raised funds for a memorial for the victims of a terrorist attack at an Ariana Grande concert at the same venue earlier that year. "It was a real honour to be asked," Astley recalled in his book. "It was incredibly emotional, of course, but it was also really good fun." The singer developed an unusual tradition over the course of his career. "I'd got into the habit of graffitiing my own dressing-room sign: I'd write underneath my name so that instead of saying RICK ASTLEY it now said RICK ASTLEY IS A TIT," he remembered. "It had become a kind of running joke at those gigs. It was a daft, piss-taking thing to do to kill the time backstage." Old habits die hard, and Astley pulled the same move at the 2017 event, which caused a problem for another performer. "I did it to my dressing-room sign at the Manchester Arena and didn't think any more about it until I saw Noel Gallagher's security guy quietly ripping down the sign with my name on it — presumably in case I saw it and became offended — and I had to go and sheepishly tell them that I'd graffitied it myself," Astley wrote. Unfortunately, that wasn't the extent of the drama. "Later, Noel Gallagher told me he'd had a bollocking from the guy: he'd burst into his dressing room and accused him of bullying other acts on the bill," Astley explained. "When he said he didn't know what they were talking about, they said someone had written an abusive message on Rick Astley's dressing-room door and they assumed it was him; Noel's always been known for his forthright opinions about other artists."

[shadowmaat]

Open Letter

Dear @photomatt,

I am depressed. I'm discouraged. I am exhausted and burned out and so dang tired all the time. And you really aren't helping.

Look, I know tumblr is deeply in the hole and needs to make money. I know the upcoming Crabageddon isn't going to help as much as people hope it will. But watching tumblr cannibalize itself as it tries so hard to produce a blank, homogenized experience with a blank, homogenized interface just makes me want to cry.

Tumblr has been a refuge for me since 2011. It has changed a lot over the years (like, a LOT), but one thing it has always been- and one thing that has kept me coming back- is how unique it is. Sure, some things are clunky and if you kick the tires too hard they might fall off; or shower you with tubby custard; or start blasting Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley, but it was still a fun hellsite (affectionate) and I was glad to call it home.

These changes you're making? The ones you claim are necessary for the future of the site? You're killing everything that makes tumblr a fun and unique experience. You may be making it "easier" for everyone else to use (¹citation needed), but at the cost of the comfort of the long-time userbase. We are here because we like tumblr. Not tiktok, not twitter, but tumblr.

I know tumblrites have traditionally screamed about every little change since the site was founded, but there's a difference between making cosmetic tweaks and trying to change the fundamental nature of the site.

This isn't about a misplaced concern regarding the reverse-chrono feed, it's about having to manually go in and turn off "tumblr live" every seven days or risk seeing random tits at the top of my screen with every refresh. It's about making the dash look like twitter. It's about disregarding folks who've expressed issues with the lack of accessibility features. And trying to force sign-ups in order to view posts. It's about taking away a safe space and turning a hellsite (affectionate) into a hellsite (despairing).

You knew tumblr was a money pit when you bought it. The site has a reputation for being a money pit that sucks in investors and spits them out again poorer than they were. Now you're using that debt as an excuse to make sweeping changes without caring about feedback from the folks who actually use the site.

So many people have articulated the problems better than I could. People who know about social media and web infrastructure and all the other elements that go into managing a site like this- and the people that come along with it. They've pointed out the flaws, the misinformation, the corporate doublespeak. Some have even suggested alternatives that would maintain the integrity of what tumblr is while still offering a chance to make up the debt. But I get the sense that no one in the upper echelons is listening. That no one cares.

A few weeks ago I was sure we'd be able to outlast you and survive, but now I'm wondering if you're going to pull an Elon and make this place so uninhabitable (at least to long-term users) that we'll feel forced out. And that breaks my heart. I've been here for so long. I don't want to leave. But if you keep pressing forward with your efforts to make tumblr into metatwit-tok, I'll leave. And I'm sure I won't be the only one.

But I guess if all you care about is money then it doesn't matter; we'll be easily replaced by kids and influencers who want everything to be the same everywhere they go.

May your choices reap the dividends you deserve.

shadowmaat

[undercover-roomba]

what the fuck is this tumblr ad. why is rick astley gordon ramsay on a medieval horse with massive knight armor tits. what

[carryonsimoncarryonbaz]

CHAPTER UPDATE FOR NEVER TEAR US APART

Meddling siblings, lavender biscuits, encounters with Malcolm, and a sunset in Hampshire. Back to the world of Never Tear Us Apart! 

Sorry for the months long hiatus but hello, I'm back to Never Tear Us Apart! It’s been outlined and plotted since I wrote the first chapter but I hit a major wall this summer when real life hit me very hard.  It took me awhile to find my way to writing again and when I did return I realized I had so much to process with Wayward Son. It was particularly hard return to writing this particular fic. Much as I loved WS, it definitely put a pause on this fic, which was my version of a sequel to Carry On. I had to decide how I wanted to think about it--did I want to keep going with the story the way I had planned it out or did i somehow want to bring it in line with the canonical story line of WS?  In the end I decided to keep to my original ideas, to stay the course.  To regard this now as an non-canonical AU that is very much set in the post-Carry On world but not the Wayward Son one. I think I found their voices again. I hope those of you that have followed this fic enjoy this update. And for those of you that are new to it--it’s going to keep going. i can’t promise you a set update schedule but i am going to tell this story to the end. Accompanying playlists can be found on spotify under tbazzsnow. 

Here’s a bit of chapter 12:

Baz

Simon looks so fucking beautiful right now. His hair is a mess, strands sticking to his forehead, curls tumbled down over his face. He’s flushed from the dancing, finally letting himself succumb to the music—he throws his head back as I watch him, his arms and hips moving sinuously to the beat.

I follow a bead of sweat as it trickles from his forehead, down his jaw, to trace a line along his neck.

I want to lick it off.

That would lead to a whole host of other things I want to do to Simon and no amount of sound-proofing or door-locking spells would prove adequate at keeping my siblings from somehow encroaching on us during daylight hours. They are persistent and undeterrable.

And this next step of intimacy we’ve reached is so new, so precious to me, that I don’t want anything to intrude on it.

The song switches over to “Never Gonna Give You Up” and the mood shifts as Simon opens his eyes and huffs a laugh at me. “I can’t believe you, of all people, have this song on your playlist.”

“It’s Fiona’s playlist.”

“That she made for you.” He’s grinning now and I’m perfectly content to take any amount of shit from him about my musical preferences because the playlist fucking did its job and made him smile again.

Points to Rick Astley. And Fiona, I suppose.

And to me, for not taking this song off the list.

I’m never taking this song off the playlist.

Simon shuffles his way over to me, singing along with the song as he does.

“Never gonna give you up

Never gonna let you down

Never gonna run around and desert you”

We’re both singing along by the time he puts his arms on my shoulders and I slide mine around his waist.

“Never gonna make you cry  

Never gonna say goodbye

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you”

It’s just a stupid pop song but I mean every word I’m saying right now. I’d put magic into the lyrics if I dared.

If I thought I needed to.

Simon’s lips find mine as the chorus fades into the next song. His fingers slide up to tangle in my hair and he pulls me closer. “That song is going to be stuck in my head for the rest of the day, thanks to you.”

We sway to the music as I trail my lips up his jaw to his ear and whisper “I meant every word of it.”

Simon pulls back to look at me, his blue eyes wide and questioning. “What?”

I lean down to press our foreheads together. “Every word of that ridiculous chorus.” All I see is that brilliant blue, the bronze glint of Simon’s eyelashes, the crinkles in the corner of his eyes when he smiles.

He’s smiling up at me. So close that I can feel his breath on my lips when he speaks. “I’ll never give up on you, Baz Pitch. I told you that once. I’ve never turned my back on you and I never will.”

This kiss is searing. His mouth is hot. Everything is hot. He’s pushing against me and I’m pushing back with everything I have, my grip tightening on his hips, his chest pressed up against mine, fingers clenched into my hair, the heat of him radiating into my every pore.

His mouth is dissipating every thought but the ones of him.

I’ll never give up on you, Simon Snow. I don’t know what the world would be like without you.  

His hands are under my shirt, his fingertips leaving blazing trails against my skin. My own drift to his waistband, sliding up to brush his belly, relishing the way he shivers at my touch.

Crowley, I wish we were back in London.

“I wish we were back home.” The words slip out as I mouth at that spot behind Simon’s ear. That makes him shiver too.

“You are home,” Simon says, tilting his head back as my lips trail down to his neck. He slides his leg between mine and presses closer.

“You know what I mean.” I bury my face in his shoulder and breathe him in. He’s brown butter and cinnamon today, with that underlying tangy scent that’s all his own.

I feel his breath in my hair, stirring the strands, his voice just a whisper but I can hear it.  “Home is wherever I’m with you, Baz.”

My heart thumps in my chest. When he says things like that, when he puts words to my own thoughts, when he speaks without stumbling over those words--those are the moments when I truly believe that Simon Snow loves me.

It’s a heady sensation.

A blaze flaring up in my heart, searing its way through my veins.

He’s in my arms, in my heart, in my lungs, he’s made his way into every part of me, pouring warmth and love and life into my very soul.

My mouth finds his. “I love you, Simon Snow.”

I can feel his smile against my lips. “I’ll never get tired of you saying that.”

“Then I’ll never stop saying it.” I kiss him again and I can’t help but smile myself. “I love you, Simon Snow.”

I kiss the mole on his cheek I’ve loved since I was twelve. “I love you, Simon Snow.” I kiss his jaw, his neck, his collarbone, repeating the words every time.

He’s trembling. Eyes closed, head thrown back, the glorious line of his neck exposed to my lips.

His hands rake down my back.

I should pull back . . . I should take a moment . . . I should . . .

Simon opens his eyes to pin me with a look. Pupils blown wide, face flushed, lips parted. “Why’d you stop? I was kind of liking that, yeah.”

His mouth curves up in a bit of a smirk and he’s so fucking delectable I would snog him to oblivion if I could.

Fuck. I’d do more than that.

“We’re here, not home.” It sounds as pathetic out loud as it did in my head.

“That didn’t stop us last night.”

“But . . .” Why the fuck did I stop? “Well, it’s the middle of the day . . . they’re all . . . well, you know. My siblings are . . . they’re devious little goblins.” Crowley, I sound an absolute tit.

Simon raises an eyebrow but he’s absolute shit at it so he ends up looking surprised rather than superior. It’s fucking adorable.

“They’re not even home.”

“What?”

“They’re not even here. Daphne took them to some children’s play centre for the day.”

“What?” Crowley, I’m repeating myself like an idiot.“How do you know that?”

“Vera told me. When I went for crisps.”

There is no situation that Simon feels cannot be improved with snacks. There are two packets of Walkers on my nightstand.

It’s not salt and vinegar crisps I’m craving at this moment.

“Come here, you stupid git.” Simon pulls me to him by my belt loops. It’s far sexier than it has any right to be. “Soundproof the room, if you’re that worried about it. Magick the door.”

Where the fuck is my wand?

Simon

I’m the first to get embarrassed around Baz’s family but it’s happened to me so many times now that I can’t summon up the will to worry about it at the moment. They’ve assumed we’ve been shagging for ages so I’m not fussed.

Particularly when the house is practically empty and Baz is looking like this.

He fed early this morning so he’s got a bit of a flush in his cheeks. And he’s got that look, that look I always used to think meant he was about to attack me. I mean, it is the look he gets when he’s about to attack me, but it’s all about a snogging me senseless type of attack. I like those. I like those a lot.

I like everything about Baz right now. The flush, the brightness of his eyes, how his lips are parted, barely brushed with pink. The way his shirt’s hiked up and his pupils are wide and dark, set against the grey of his eyes.

I pull him closer, fingers hooked in his belt loops and I like the way his breath catches when I do it.

He’s flustered, can hardly get the words out, and Merlin, I love it when he’s just as much of a mess as me.

I know exactly where his wand is. I move my hands to his perfect arse and squeeze. That makes him jump a bit so I yank his wand out of his back pocket and wave it in his face.

“Come on. Drop a “sound of silence” and stop being such a fussbudget.”

He draws back, wand in the air, eyebrows pulled together. “I am not a fussbudget.”

“Fine, then you’re a prig. Merlin, Baz, I’m starting to think you don’t want to have a good shag.”

He grabs my shirt in his grip and pulls me to him and I love the controlled power emanating from him, coiled and ready to unleash.

My tail wraps around his leg and he shivers. Baz will never admit it but he’s definitely got a thing for my tail.

I may have a bit of a thing for this too. I can hold him to me, wrap myself around him in every way.

It’s the last bit of magic left in me, I think. Not anything I can use or tap into or really even feel anymore. But I can still touch him with magic, when I do this. And imagine it’s enough.

read the rest of this chapter on ao3! 

full fic here!

spotify playlists at tbazzsnow 

[thisiswhymp3]

rick astley & blossoms pspspsppssps come do a north american tour with a toronto stop so i can hear you perform how soon is now? and have my tits blown clean off by the opening riffs

[hollyoaksloversx]

If I Could Turn Back Time...

Rounding up a week in Hollyoaks (2nd-6th July 2018)

The year is 2002 and in Hollyoaks village Ellie Hunter shocks her family by waltzing back in after a two year radio silence, Mandy Richardson and Adam Morgan are involved in a horrific car crash and Mr C is making a tit of himself at the Jubilee celebrations. Meanwhile, in another part of the country, it’s James Nightingale’s 16th birthday and his Father, Mac, gifts him a night with a prostitute, hoping that the experience will ‘turn him straight’. The fling results in a pregnancy and Marnie pays the prostitute, Donna-Marie, to have an abortion. Or so she thinks...

This week, Hollyoaks rewound the clock and gave viewers a glimpse into the past life of popular character, James. The first flashback took us to 2002 and James’ 16th birthday. After finding out that his son was gay, Mac organised for James to sleep with a prostitute, hoping that the experience would make him realise he was actually straight.  A pregnancy resulted, and Marnie soon ‘sorted’ the problem by paying for a termination. Which brings us nicely to the next flashback and with ‘Call Me Maybe’ playing on the radio and the London Olympics being on newspaper covers, it could only be 2012. Here, we met a now grown-up James preparing to start work at a law firm. However, the occasion wasn’t all happy as Mac soon demanded that James help him get £100,000, supposedly to save his company from going under. Desperate for his Father’s approval, James made the decision to embezzle money from his new work place and he soon met the perfect person to frame for the crime when he met kindly accountant, Kashif Maalik. However, unbeknownst to James, his Father’s business wasn’t in trouble and they actually needed the money to pay Donna-Marie, who hadn’t had a termination after all...

Back in the present day, James’ son, Romeo, approached his house, but couldn’t bring himself to knock on the door and walked away. Inside, James was desperately trying to work out who was framing him for Kyle’s murder. Suddenly, James had a realisation, and after all this time, remembered the surname of the man he’d framed; Maalik. Putting two and two together, James came up with four, and realised that Sami was Kashif’s son, and must surely be behind his recent troubles. The following day, James headed to Sami’s office and after finding the evidence he needed, confronted his rival. Turning the tables on Sami, James ordered him to get the murder charge dropped, or he’d tell the police that the whole thing was a set-up. Later on that day, Marnie invited the family round for a meal but Sami’s goading of James soon got too much for him to bear, and he beat him up, accidentally knocking Ellie over in the process...

It appeared that neither Sami or Ellie had been seriously hurt, but the following day, Ellie collapsed at The Dog after feeling lightheaded and was rushed to hospital. Sami felt guilty about the situation and made the rather hasty decision to leave the village, however, he soon changed his mind when he discovered that Ellie was pregnant. James was devastated when Ellie shared her news with him and begged her not to have Sami’s baby. In that moment, Ellie saw red and got straight on the phone to Roxy, telling her to add Sami’s assault to James’ murder charge...

That wasn’t the only Nightingale trauma this week as Marnie was finally told what was wrong with Alfie; schizoaffective disorder. Realising that her son would be on medication for life, Marnie decided to seek a second opinion and called in Dr Spellman. Unfortunately for Marnie, she didn’t get the news she was hoping for when Alfie’s diagnosis was confirmed and Marnie was shocked to be told that she could actually impair his recovery by refusing to acknowledge his illness...

Meanwhile, Adam’s ashes were ready to collect and Grace and Maxine made the decision to scatter them together. However, after yet another row, Glenn ended up throwing the ashes all over Grace, leaving Maxine furious. Glenn tried to get back in Maxine’s good books by blaming Grace for the incident and offering to scatter the remainder of the ashes with her. One thing lead to another, as it so often does after scattering some ashes, and Glenn and Maxine ended up sleeping together. Unusually for Hollyoaks, Grace found out relatively quickly and finally walked out on Glenn! Great scenes, until you remember she’s walking out of her own flat. A flat that Glenn has no claim to...

Elsewhere, Farrah was delighted to be offered a new job as a forensic psychologist, surely a result of the fantastic work she did with RyRy earlier in the year. There was, however, a downside, and the new job would require Farrah to work much longer hours. Not so great when Kim was still refusing to leave the house. Not wanting to share the news with Kim, Farrah confided in Misbah that she didn’t want to jeopardise Kim’s recovery by leaving her before she was ready. Worried that her daughter was going to turn down the offer, Misbah decided to tell Kim about the job. Wanting to show Farrah how proud she was of her, Kim decided to leave the house alone to go and get Farrah a present but was left upset when Farrah snapped at her, unaware that she’d just shared a snog with Grace. The following day, Kim was still struggling but forced herself to leave the house again. This time, she headed back to the basement, to seek comfort from Rick Astley. 

In other news this week, desperate for a break from Imran, Misbah begged Buster to take him to the training camp in Barcelona, leaving Yasmine feeling like her Brother was being reward for his violent behaviour. Cleo was panicking about her upcoming wedding to Joel and Myra attempted to take some of the load off by buying her a wedding dress. Cleo was delighted by the thought, but was left devastated to discover that the dress was too small. Finally, Tegan was discharged from hospital and Diane, Leela and Ste realised they’d have to tell her about Dee Dee’s illness...

5 Things We Learnt This Week:

1. Hollyoaks village has it’s own education system, where children start school younger than in other parts of the country. Either that or Rose Lomax and the Hutchinson kids are child geniuses who have been moved up a year. 

2. Family loyalty means nothing to Ellie. James supported her when Nick raped her and helped cover up what she did to Mac and she repays him by turning her back on him when he’s in trouble. Nice sister, there. 

3. Kim’s taken up papier mache and has made a bowl, but she doesn’t know if it’s safe to eat out of. There’s Hollyoaks next big story. Several characters come down with a mystery illness after eating from Kim’s bowl. That’s got ‘Best Storyline’ at next year’s British Soap Awards written all over it. 

4. The folley found a new use this week as Glenn and Maxine scattered Adam’s ashes there. Well, I suppose it’s been used for just about everything else! 

5. Glenn is actually ill! There is a God! 

Characters Featured:

Alfie, Anthony, Buster, Cleo, Courtney, Curtis, Dee Dee, Diane, Donna-Marie, DS Roxy Cassidy, Ellie, Farrah, Glenn, Grace, Holly, Imran, James, Joel, Kim, Leela, Marnie, Maxine, Misbah, Myra, Oliver, Romeo, Rose, Sami, Ste, Tegan, Tony and Yasmine. 

Past Characters Mentioned:

Patrick Blake, Adam Donovan, Mac Nightingale, Nathan Nightingale, Darcy Wilde

[hoaxmakesmusic]

A Rant at a Youtube Comment I Read

Yes, I know, Don’t Read the Comments, but the guy in the video asked for anime suggestions, following an explanation that he couldn’t really get into Sword Art Online because, and I quote, “the fighting and everything was cool, but like, why does he always wanna fuck his sister?”. 

So I figured, as someone who lost interest in anime in the mid-late aughts when most of my common non-licensed suppliers (the only way to get anything that wasn’t on Toonami back then) started releasing only cookie-cutter blimp-tits-on-a-tween nonsense or Even More Bleach, maybe I’d find something relatively interesting to look up that wasn’t softcore porn with half the screen blacked out so the publishers can sell blurays to the sort of dudes that will buy several hundred fifty-dollar tickets for a chance to shake their favorite voice actress’s hand, but then ruin her career if they find out their PURE and INNOCENT PRINCESS who they’ve spent a fortune in hand-lotion over if you know what I mean ever smooched a dude once.

(I just re-read that sentence because I was trying to figure out how to break it down into multiples without losing clarity, and I’m not sure what’s more painful, the absurdity of what I wrote, or that none of what I typed was an exaggeration.)

And then I see this gem in reply to someone suggesting JoJo (which I do need to start watching at some point, anyway):

“[JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure] can get a little memey sometimes”

...I just... are you... dude. My dude. Sit thyself upon the stair and listen.

That’s like saying it’s a rickroll if Rick Astley throws a concert and, as a part of his setlist, sings Never Gonna Give You Up.  However, if Rick Astley suddenly sprang up on stage in the middle of, say, an Andrew W.K. concert or some shit and did a duo rendition of NGGYU with the king of party, yes, that would be an actual Rick Roll.

The origin of a fucking meme cannot, by virtue of what a fucking meme is, be memey unless it has later devolved into self-referential wank. (For example: “Bazinga!” from The Big Bang Theory, or basically all of South Park.)

For something that became a meme to be “memey” after-the-fact, it would then have to later explicitly reference the meta-joke that is its own meme. To swing it back to the rickroll example, this would be more like Rick Astley doing a concert wherein, at some point, he announced to the crowd that the next song was something that wasn’t NGGYU, and followed that announcement with NGGYU.

If JoJo becomes memey, it’s not because someone’s mudamudaing in the middle of a fight, or because Ｔｈｅ Ｗｏｒｌｄ has been invoked, or the Jo-Crew walks by a steamroller, it’s because Joseph Joestar went to a Bubger King, had a King Bubger, and when he went to throw away his trash, the trash bin suddenly slammed open to an announcement of “HA! You thought it was a trash can, BUT IT WAS ME! DIO!”

(Of course, if, for example, upon reaching the Bubger King, JoJo said to the overworked/underpaid cashier “I can has cheezburger?” or something, then yes, that would also be memey, but I have a very strong suspicion that this is not the case the commenter had implied.)

And this isn’t even getting into what actual memetics is: "but it was me, Dio” isn’t, but that I can type “every time we touch” and your mind can probably immediately supply the rest of the song by Cascada is; similarly, a rickroll isn’t memetics, but that you can probably sing the whole song off-the-cuff just because someone mentioned the title is. 

(The most infuriatingly hilarious result of this, to me, is while the image macro “memes” aren’t themselves memes by definition, but that billions of people recognize Impact font on a square image as “this is a meme!” is, in fact, a meme. How confusing is that shit?)

Memetics are “congrats, this shit’s written into your blood now, twenty years down the line someone will do/say something that will make you think of this thing as a whole and I can guarantee there’s about three million other people just like you in that regard”, not “TOP TEXT [image] BOTTOM TEXT”.

That said, I do concede that, just as “literally” now means both “literally” and “figuratively” because of people misusing it for twenty-plus years, language changes like the tides, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be Bitter On The Internet™ about it when some dingus in a Youtube comment idly squats a steaming pile of ignorance in the middle of the sidewalk for me to step in.

[almosttoodetective-blog1]

Jim hoildays porn galleries

Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up - YouTube

I didn’t seem less paranoid and settled in hindsight he was helping me but it makes me do you get the director of my past twenty-five contestants. “sam “i love between shows up. But very sweet home alone' at all the big-breasted ones who was pretty much rage. But we were in an industry events. Big tits at me of tomato on his money i’d do a place. http://BeardedInfluencerCheesecake.tumblr.com http://TremendousDetectiveNut.tumblr.com http://SuperbTyphoonDinosaur.tumblr.com http://AlmostTooDetective.tumblr.com http://SuperbTyphoonDinosaur.tumblr.com http://SuperbTyphoonDinosaur.tumblr.com