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wcmi-22 · 8 months ago

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Mad Hair day part 2

By Allison Blossom

As Reginald Glided through the crowds to his job, he did everything he could to hide his embarrassing problem with his gigantic green hat.

Suddenly, a wave of thoughts filled with anxiety came over his Mercury filled brain.

“Oh what if someone sees?!” He thought sweatily.

“What if they laugh?! What if word gets out?!! The paparazzi would have a field day!!!!”

Then another terrible, mind provoking thought ceased him.

“What if Alice sees????!!!!!” The thought entered. Then it swarmed with Alice’s laughter along with the crowd’s laughter all at once.

It ran quickly into scene after scene of humiliating name calling and laughter. It was like a chorus of torture for the poor hatter.

As Reginald’s thoughts consumed him, suddenly he ran into someone and ceased his thinking to help them up. To his surprise it was none other than the girl he had been pinning for, Alice Liddell!

“Oh noooo!!!” He thought as he looked at her.

“Reginald?” She began “What on earth are you doing?”

He stood there for a moment trying to come up with a lie until

“Reginald? I Asked you a question?” She stated. And frankly it is quite rude of you to not answer as well as run into…”

“Sorryalicegottago!” He stammered and bolted away from the now very much confused blonde.

As Alice walked away suddenly she made it to her bookshop.There her friend noticed her expression on her face.

“Let me guess?” She said.” Another annoying encounter with Reg?!”

“No actually a brief one?” Alice said confused.

“How so?”

“Well, he ran into me and didn’t say a word until he said he had to go.” Alice explained.

“And you know the weirdest part was?”

“He didn’t pay attention to you or ask you a random question?”

“That and he called me Alice!”

The two women were left baffled and couldn’t understand why for the rest of the day.

Meanwhile, back at the Hat shop, Reginald made it and quickly went upstairs to avoid EARS as much as possible. But he knew better than to try to sneak by a hare with impeccable hearing.

“There you are Reg!” He said “where have you been?”

“Well you see I ran into Alice and…” Reginald tried to explain.

“Non of that now, let’s get to work! After all Covid gave us a lot of orders!” Ear said pushing him to his workshop.

Suddenly as Ears pushed him, Reginald’s hat came off. To Ears surprise, he saw that Reginald’s hair was not his usual white but instead white and orange like a lollipop almost. A very weird lollipop.

“ Did you dye your hair while you were away?”

Ears asked.

“Ears..” Reginald said embarrassed.

“Because I’m pretty sure you messed it up?”

“Ears..”

“And if this one of your other hair brained schemes to win Alice, you must have really screwed this one up because..”

“EARS!” Reginald shouted.

“I didn’t do this to myself, I woke up this morning and it was just like this!” Reginald explained.

“That makes no sense more than usual?!”

“Trust me I know! And it’s embarrassing!”

“Well we can always dye it back to normal and luckily customers won’t see you in your shop!”

“True and true!” Reg smiled” thanks my friend!”

Soon Reginald went into his work shop and got too work.

“Ok, first order of the day.” He said looking at the order paper.

“One order of a grand jungle extraordinary gardening hat for Jane Porter!”

Soon Reginald starting making the hat. As he was gathering the fabrics but suddenly, his kind went blank. He had no idea of how to make this hat extraordinary.

As he thought and thought suddenly the door opened to reveal Ears.

“Reg!” He said “ it’s lunch are you still working on that hat?”

“What?” He said “that can’t be right it’s only!” Reg then looks at his clock to see it was lunch time.

“That’s weird I thought it was still morning?”

He questioned.

“Then that means…”

“You took all morning and you still age my done that hat!” Ears explained.

Reg looked down at the hat and felt bad. No ideas came to mind and what’s worst is that this hat was due in 2 weeks.

“I know! It’s like my mind just went blank! I can’t think of anything!” He said.

“Maybe your just hungry?” Ears questioned.

“Let’s get you something to eat!”

Ears soon dragged his slightly gingered friend to the sandwich shop known as HUNKA HUNKA BURNIN SUB. Of course Reg wouldn’t go out in public until he covered his little “embarrassment” first.

It was a Hawaiian themed restaurant that David Kawena ran with surf boards and many different amazing subs you can choose from. You can even create your own too!

“Aloha,Ears, back again I see!” He greeted. “And you brought Reg too!”

“ Yes, and we got a need to feed!” Ears assures him “so what’s your specials today?”

“Well, we have a Italian with spicy mustard and we have a Cuban with a nice thick pickle.”

“Oh I’ll take the Cuban!”

“Nice!” David said writing down his order. “And for you, Reg? Do you want your regular triple mean cheese and tomato sandwich and your salt and vinegar chips?”

Reginald looked at the menu and then decided.

“Actually David I think I’ll get just a ham on white with American cheese, lettuce, pickles and tomato with original chips today if you please.”

Both David and Ears’ jaws dropped.

“Uh ok, Bra-da.” David says perplexed.

Soon EARs and Reginald took a seat in a nice red booth.

“Reg? Are you feeling ok?” Ears asks.

“Yes, I am besides the fact I am feeling embarrassed about the H-A-I-R. Why you ask?”

“Because you just ordered a normal sandwich! Which you have never done in the history I have known you!”

“Well, I was craving it. Besides all that Cheese and ham and tomato would get too messy.”

“But, Reg, you like messy sandwiches!”

“Well, not today.” Reg said and started to read the menu. As he read, Ears decided to test how bad the situation is.

“Reg?” He asked making Reg turn his attention to EARs.

“If you could choose between a stuffed teddy bear and a stuffed manatee which would you choose?”

“Why are you asking me…?”

“JUST PICK,REG!!!!”

“OK TEDDY BEAR! Ya happy?!”

Ears his hands to the table then pointed to David as he looked at Reg.

“David! Make our orders to go! We are taking you to a doctor right now!” Ears stated then proceeded to drag Reg out of the booth.

“Woah woah woah , Ears!” Reginald shouted. “Why are you taking me to a doctor?”

“Because there is clearly something wrong with you!” Ear stated.

“What just because I wanted to eat a normal sandwich and I would choose a teddy bear?!”

“The Reginald I know never eats a normal sandwich and he would always choose a Manatee! He even wants to retire in Florida so he can live near Manatees! No there is definitely something wrong! I think…”

Ears thought for a moment then realized.

“Your muchness is draining!!”

“Come on Ears no it isn’t!” Reginald assures. “It’s just a bad hair day!”

Then Ears took Reginald’s hat off his head and was shocked to see that his hair was loosing its white.

“Reg your hair is getting worse!!”

Suddenly, a surprise came through the door. The young blonde he ran into that same morning.

“Oh hello, Ears!” She greeted. “ I meant to ask you about that book you wanted because we have it in back order but there is a way to get it sooner..” Suddenly she see Reginald and his hair. Luckily she didn’t seem to recognize him.

“ Oh hello, are you new here?” She asked.

Reginald then began to sweat profusely and bolted out of the shop in a flash.

“Did I say something wrong?”

“No, my dear! Reg is just having a weird hair day.” Ears says grabbing the sandwiches and leaving out the door.

“ Wait that was Reginald?” Alice asked out loud without thinking.

“ Yep!” David said. “And he just ordered a normal sandwich!”

“A normal sandwich?”

“Yep?”

Alice then spotted something on the ground that seemed abnormal to Miss and picked it up.

Outside the shop Ears looked and suddenly spotted Reginald speed walking back to the hat shop.

“Reg!” He called out “slow down!”

Reginald then stopped for his friend.

“Now…” Ears said breathless “ what..was…that?!

“I don’t know!” Reg said in a panic.

“The Reginald I knew would have flirted with her 10 different ways in 6 different languages!”

“I know but I got all sweaty and hot and just felt like running!” Reg said scared.

“We better get you to a doctor and fast!” Ears said. Then dragged Reginald off.

#when curiosity met insanity #wcmi #reginald theophilus the third #alice liddell #alice in wonderland #alice and reginald

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ask-thsc-blog · 2 years ago

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Reginald could feel the small demon having a headache as well and that was just making his worse

Noooo

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cookiebunker · 4 years ago

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Me when Five apologized to Reginald even though he was abused by him and had nothing to apologize for:

#the umbrella academy #umbrella academy #tua #five hargreeves #tua five #number five #reginald hargreeves #tua reginald #tua s2 #tua season two #my post #It literally made me so sad like noooo #you're not at fault for lashing out against your abuser #smh reggie deserves nothing and I yearn to see him crumble by the end of the series #abuse mention

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super-unpredictable98 · 2 years ago

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The Eighth Child (~TUA AU~) - Season 3

Chapter 12: More Valuable Than The World and The End of All Things (Season 3 Finale)

Warning: Strong language, mention of death, violence, a little bit of gore, angst

a/n: So another season comes to an end... I'm so grateful for everything TEC brought me, for all the support you still give me. Thank you for coming on this journey with me, I hope to see everyone again in the meantime with the short stories and season 4 <3

(The Eighth Child Masterlist)

"You look familiar," Klaus approached a tall woman with pale skin, sunkissed on her shoulders and cheeks, both covered in freckles. Her long brown hair was wild with curls and her eyes were green like mint leaves. "Noooo, Maria Fernanda? You look so much better in person than in pictures!"

"And you look much better in person than when I'm watching you. Safado, leading my Lisbela astray..." she joked.

"Lisbela? That's the name you were gonna give her?"

"Yeah, but Victoria isn't bad, Victoria Maria is even better."

"She looks like you."

"I know. Sometimes I wish I never gave her away, but then she wouldn't have met you," Maria Fernanda took a good look at him. "You're not supposed to be here. You need to go back."

"I know, our brother keeps telling me as well, but I have no idea how."

"My girl has good taste, I'm so proud of who she became, so I trust you too."

——————————————————

"Where's Klaus?" I asked as soon as the door closed behind us on the other side of the tunnel.

"I'm sorry children, but your brother- I did all I could, but he didn't make it through in time," Reginald panted. "The Kugelblitz has claimed its last victim."

"You are lying!" I screamed, crying even harder. "He was right behind me! You are the one who left him behind! I knew I couldn't trust you, you fucking demon, I'm gonna kill you!"

I jumped with all the strength I had left, wrapping my hands around his throat while Allison and Ben tried to pull me away. I saw a glimpse of fear in those eyes and it only made my bloodthirst worse, I was seeing red.

"Let him go, he's your father! He wouldn't lie!" Alli yelled.

"He's not my father, I'm basically a human trafficking victim! You're gonna die, you piece of shit! Not my husband, not my Klaus!"

"Let go!" She demanded and her power washed over me, forcing me to drop Reggie. "You're crazy, Victoria!"

"Victoria isn't crazy and she is right," Five muttered. "First Luther, and now Klaus."

"There will be time for tears later, now we need to keep moving," dad pointed at the door, trying to collect himself.

"You won't keep moving for long! I can knock Allison out and then I'll disembowel you, I'll carry you around by the trachea like a suitcase. Nobody hurts my husband, and he trusted you! You fucking monster!" I growled.

"This is probably not good for the baby," Diego whispered, pulling me outside and dragging me to the lobby. "You need to calm down, I know this whole situation is fucked up, but the baby is part of Klaus you're carrying. If dad can fix shit and bring everyone back, he'll be back too, so the best you can do right now is cooperate. If it doesn't work, I'll help you end dad."

"We should've stayed here, it's much nicer," Ben commented as the others followed out of the elevator.

"Lila and I barely got out alive last time," Diego scoffed.

"But I'm here now, and the numbers are in our favor."

"Big fucking deal, you are a joke!" I spat before turning to ring the bell, but Diego held my wrist.

"Whatever you do, do not ring this bell!" He warned.

"I know what happens, the guardian comes out with his big scary sword. I can handle him, I need to kill something right now."

"Yeah, I'll take my chances," Sloane agreed, trying to ring it, but Lila stood in front of her.

"Don't, to take down this thing we need to be in the right state of mind. You two are so emotional, that's no good in a fight."

"STATE OF MIND? The man I've been in love with for over three decades is gone! Gone for real this time, and you want me to be in a good state of mind?"

"We have to be smart about this, Vicky," Viktor tried to comfort me. "I'm angry too, but if you act right now, you'll get tired too fast and lose control."

"Fine, whatever, I'll see if I can communicate with him somehow."

My head was radio silent. I couldn't hear Klaus, I couldn't even feel his presence, maybe he didn't even exist anymore. The universe turned his whole life, his beautiful smile, his kind eyes into emptiness. Now the only place where he existed was in my memory.

Dad's mind was still a blank, he kept thinking in codes about a sigil, nothing useful at the moment, but someone was feeling really guilty in that room. And I was pretty sure I knew why.

"Allison! Why are you feeling like it's your fault? Did you know something about this?" I joined her at the stairs.

"What? Of course not!" she tried her best to look offended.

"The father of my child is dead, my brother is dead, and you... You definitely have something to do with it. You've been a different person ever since we landed here. You're not my sister, the person I loved so much and trusted with my secrets, with my life. It feels like I'm losing you too and it hurts, because I know you are a good person deep inside. So please, please tell me what you know."

"I had no idea that Luther and Klaus were gonna die," she said, emphasizing each word and I started to cry again when I realized it was true. She was guilty of something, but she didn't plan for this to happen. "They were my brothers too. And I'm sorry I haven't been the same, it's hard to keep being optimistic after you lose everyone you love. You still have your baby, what do I have?"

"I might sound like the worst mother ever, but... I'd rather lose my baby than lose Klaus," I admitted, and in the most genuinely Allison moment of that week, she hugged me. "I wanted to kill everyone here, I would if it would bring him back."

"You're not a bad person, you've spent almost every single day with Klaus ever since you were babies. He loved you more than he ever loved anything, look at him after you two got together! He's sober and happy, more powerful, more confident. You were so good to him and he was so good to you, I'm sorry. Killing me or anyone else won't bring him back, just like me killing Harlan didn't bring Claire back. I know you probably hate me right now, but I understand this gut-wrenching feeling, this resentment."

"I miss you so much, Alli," I hugged her back as we both sobbed.

"I miss me too."

"How are you holding up?" Sloane joined us, equally sad.

"I wish I stayed back too, I wish I was with him wherever he is," I pulled her closer too. "He said in the afterlife there's a beach, I wish I was there with him. He was my life."

"And you were his, I know, just by seeing the way he looked at you."

"I'm sorry I was harsh when you first started dating Luther, I'm sorry for what I did to Jayme, and I'm sorry for walking out of our bachelorette party. You are part of this family and I love my family."

"I know everything is ending, but I thought we'd be together when it happened," she murmured, cleaning the blood from her hands. I didn't even get to say goodbye, Vicky never got to say goodbye..."

"I got to say goodbye, to my daughter and my husband, but that wasn't enough. Feelings are just too big for words," Allison rubbed my back while the others discussed the revolving doors and the 'do not ring the bell' sign. "Will you two be okay if I just go have a word with dad for a second?"

"Yeah," Sloane nodded as she left. "Vicky, how was Luther growing up?"

"Luther..." I laughed sadly. "Spacey was a pain in my ass, he was a goody-two-shoes, always had to be right. He was funny when he didn't mean to be, he was brave, he loved my red velvet cake but almost never made it to the kitchen in time. I grew up telling him that he was my least favorite, but that was never true. I love him so much and even when he hurt me, I knew that was our dad's indoctrination speaking. He was a really nice guy when he wasn't trying to be Number One. I missed him a lot when he was up there, and it was all for nothing."

"I know you don't like to talk about it, but... What made you fall for Klaus and not one of the others?"

"They say in a healthy relationship two wholes need to complement one another, but it was never like that for us, none of us was a full person on our own. We were two broken parts of one person. Call it codependency, it's how we were happy."

In Plato's myth for the origin of love (also the Hedwig myth for the origin of love, depending on your preference), Zeus felt threatened by humans as they were, whole. Those whole humans were then split into two and sewn up, destined to roam the world looking for their other half.

A girl born under the scalding sun of Rio de Janeiro, a boy born under the... Cow shit smell from some Amish community in Pennsylvania. Two halves of a whole who were able to find one another by a miracle, for that I was grateful to dad. And while it was wonderful to love someone like that, losing him would mean I was destined to fall apart.

"Children, gather up!" Reginald called. "Now that we've had a chance to catch our breath, the real work can begin."

"I know why I'm here and Klaus isn't. He's a distraction, and I'm useful to fight the guardian," I groaned, rubbing my red eyes. "But I'm not in any condition to look for your stupid bells, old man."

"No, the bells are simply a metaphor for this," he held up his notebook with a weird pattern drawn on it.

"The sigil," Five murmured.

"Correct, Number Five. The sigil is the key to the seven bells, once we find this symbol, we're one step closer to resetting the universe."

"And what do we do once we find it?" Sloane asked.

"I don't know."

"Excuse me? We're here because you said you had a plan," Viktor glanced at me, prepared to intervene if that last sentence made me go berserk.

"I do, up to a point."

"Finding the sigil is our best chance at resetting the universe, so let's do that," Allison suggested.

"Funny how you and dad are on the same page again..." Five mocked.

"You need to split into groups. I will go with Allison and Sloane. Ben and Five go with Viktor," Reggie ordered.

"No, you take Ben and we take Allison. We trained together so it makes more sense if we take her," he protested.

"Splendid idea... Allison you go with the Umbrellas, Sparrows stick together," dad tried to make it seem like he wasn't incredibly bothered by the changes in his perfect plan. "Everyone take a different floor, we must find that sigil."

"What about the rest of us?" Diego asked.

"You and Lila are a duo, nobody wants to listen to your endless bickering. And Victoria, you are our wild card. Your stamina and resistance are unmatched, you will help whoever needs help and keep yourself occupied."

"You're gonna leave me unsupervised?" I laughed bitterly as I headed to the stairs. "So be it."

I didn't believe dad for a second. I may not be able to read his mind, but I knew that old bastard well enough to understand it wouldn't be so easy, so I hid in one of the corners to watch his next move.

Just as I suspected, he gave Ben and Sloane some bullshit excuse to stay behind and read his stupid notes, probably preparing to ring that damn bell and send the guardian after us without any warning.

"You're not what I asked for, If I'm honest I know I would give it all back for a chance to start over, and rewrite an ending or two for the girl that I knew... Who was reckless just enough, who gets hurt but who learns how to toughen up when she's bruised, and gets used by a man who can't love. And then she'll get stuck and be scared of the life that's inside her, getting stronger each day 'til it finally reminds her to fight just a little, to bring back the fire in her eyes that's been gone but it used to be mine," I sang quietly to push away that queasy feeling that threatened to overwhelm me again. How would I ever get through all that without him?

"Problem, dad?" I heard Klaus' voice. At least I could pick up his signal now. Maybe my existence wouldn't be so lonely if I could hear his thoughts like I did when we got separated in the '60s.

"You!" Reggie exclaimed.

Wait a second, if dad was able to see him... Was Klaus actually there? Did he manage to come back?"

"You missed me."

"There's only one way into Oblivion, this is not possible!"

"Well, here I am. Did you really think I'd leave my wife alone in Oblivion? I might be a coward, I might be sexy trash, but I'll do anything for her. Remember you said Vicky underestimates me? I guess you're the one who does. More trouble than I'm worth... You have no idea of the trouble I'm about to bring into your life!"

"Fascinating! I wish I could explore this more, my boy, but this is not a good time."

"KLAUS!" I couldn't wait any longer to run into his arms, my chest aching with emotion. "I thought you were gone forever, I can't believe you're here! I can't live without you."

"Even if that was the case, I would be right there waiting for you when the time came," he smiled gently at me in between kisses. "Met your mom, she's just as amazing as I suspected. She called me safado."

"You are!" I giggled.

"She said she's proud of you... But I'll show you everything later," he nodded reassuringly and turned to Reggie. "You used us, dad, to get the family back together. You used me and when I was no use to you you left me to die on the floor?"

"Leave you to die? I did you a favor! I knew you'd find your way back to the void where you belong," Reginald said as if he actually believed that.

"I do like it there, but not without my wife! And not after you murdered Luther! I have things to do here, many many things before I can take my leave."

"It was necessary and effective."

"I knew it! You are literally the worst person I've ever met in my life, you are the scum of the scum!" I cried. "You killed my brother! And you were gonna kill all of us too!"

"Stop this at once, everyone's in position except for you, Victoria! Go find your siblings, the battle must begin. I am one bell ring away from my prize and you're gonna ruin everything!"

"Don't talk to her like that! If I had a nickel for every time we heard that, I'd have... A dollar!" Klaus growled. "Doesn't seem like much money, but then again there are those dollar stores that are quite-"

Before he could finish, dad hit him in the head with a huge metal vase, killing him once again and I screamed. My stomach couldn't take that, I was hormonal and my morning sickness was kicking my ass... Just as I tried to recover to kill that crusty son of a bitch, he rang the bell and a loud echoing gong resonated all around the hotel.

"NO! You absolute idiot!" I managed to say, trying not to gag. "Now the guardians-! FUCK!"

"No more distractions, Victoria! If you don't want your siblings to get hurt go help them and remember everything I taught you. Klaus will be just fine, he dies time and time again and still comes back to pester the rest of us every single time!"

"Oh, you want me to go fight?" I asked.

"Yes!"

"Then fuck you! I'm staying right here with Klaus."

"And let your siblings suffer the consequences?"

"The world was gonna end anyway, we were all gonna die and I feel sick. Besides, if you don't trust them, why did you ring that fucking bell? I'm staying here, you go fight if you want to. And if you try to touch me or my husband again, I will kill you without a second thought."

"Very well, you may carry the weight of their deaths if that eventually happens."

"No, dad, you may carry the weight of their deaths."

This time wasn't like the others, Klaus didn't come back immediately after dying. He probably had stuff to discuss with Luther, coming up with a plan to fix everything. It's very Luther to try and fix everything when it's completely hopeless.

When Klausie finally did wake up, he groaned and squirmed on my lap. "I feel like there's a lot more death than sex in this marriage, we should fix that..."

"Your brilliant plan to get us out of this is to get laid?" I asked as he stretched and sat up.

"What is it that thing you say in Brazil? What's a fart when you already shit yourself?"

"Klaus?" Diego asked, thankfully he was still alive after dad's dumbass strategy.

"Oh my God, Klaus, are you okay?" Viktor was the next one to show up, Lila came next.

"What happened?" Allison ran down the stairs. "We thought you died!"

"My husband always finds a way back to me," I said before realizing how insensitive that would sound to Alli and Sloane. "Because that's his power, I'm sure if your husbands were princes of death, they would come back too..."

The rest of the family arrived shortly after, they all looked like hell. I know it wasn't my fault that the guardian was after them, but maybe dad was right, I felt that weight on my shoulders. Maybe if I decided to help instead of waiting on my husband, they would all be fine.

"Why didn't you help?" Ben growled. "You are all tough, be useful!"

"I'm sorry," I murmured. "When Klaus showed up, I couldn't think of anything else and I wasn't feeling well."

"How did you get here, Klaus?" Sloane asked.

"I have my ways, a couple of aces up my sleeve. I'm alive and amazing, despite dad's attempts to bash my brains in. But tearful reunions later, what you need to know right now is that dad killed Luther, and he locked me out of the tunnel, and he rang that stupid bell," Klausie explained.

"Vicky was right then," Viktor remarked.

"When will you start listening to me? I'm always right! I can see what you think, I can see what you see, I'm a... Master of puppets," I folded my arms defiantly. "I told you I wasn't crazy! It was that sadistic fuck!"

I pointed at the entrance where Reginald waited patiently and finally the others decided to corner him and demand answers.

"What's your plan, old man?" Five asked.

"We don't have time for this," Reggie said.

"You killed Luther!" Sloane cried.

"I had no choice, you refused to come together as a team."

"All of that bullshit about bells and Norseman... It was all a lie, you brought us here to die!" Ben blurted out and for the first time, I saw a glimpse of my brother in there.

"That is not so! Somewhere in this hotel is the key to resetting the universe, we just need to find the sigil."

"And who can guarantee that once we do you won't just erase us from existence completely?" I asked. "You clearly hate us, you have no consideration for any of us. We could be the most perfect children a father could ask for. It would still not be enough for you and you wouldn't love us!"

"Right! You made us believe Vicky was crazy when she was the only one in her right mind!" Diego shouted. "We don't give a shit about that sigil! We barely survived that fucking guardian with the stupid helmet and the sickle!"

"The guardian we killed had an axe," Viktor frowned in confusion.

"Ours had a sword," Sloane pointed at the cut on her stomach.

"There's one left," Lila looked back at Diego. "We have to go after it. We have Vicky now and I can replicate her power, it'll be easy!"

"Oh, I'm sure Ms. Crybaby will be such great help against that giant!" Ben mocked.

"Mrs. Crybaby to you," I rolled my eyes. "And I'm perfectly fine to fight, just show me where this piece of shit is."

"Do any of you have painkillers? Or could you just shut up?" Klaus held his head. "I told you, celestial comedown is a bitch... Everyone is so loud, I feel like my brain is about to liquefy and come out of my ears."

"I'm sorry, baby, but this is a really important discussion. Everyone is fucked up, looks like I'm the only one left to fight-"

"I found the sigil!" Five called, but before he could show us where it was, the glass ceiling crashed above him, letting down the last guardian and his sickle.

The blade chopped Five's arm clean off and I had to cover my mouth not to scream and make things worse. While I was busy looking up at the mezzanine to make sure my brother was okay, the guardian threw the sickle and sliced Klaus' stomach open.

"That's just what I needed..." I grumbled. "How do I say torniquete in English?"

"What about fornicating?" Diego asked while the guardian hit Ben right on his weak spot, the place where his portal opened.

"Ugh, forget it! Sloane, lift me up! I need to go for the head," I asked.

As my feet left the ground, I didn't have much control of where I was going, but I stopped the blade with my forearm and it flew to the other side of the room. Unfortunately, it wasn't lost, it was still attached to a chain that he was holding. He pulled it back to try and kill me again, once more unsuccessfully.

Each time this thing would hit me, I made sure the impact was not wasted. I sent it right back, but it didn't seem to help much beyond damaging the armor. I was right about this fight, it would come down to who had more stamina, and it wasn't looking good for me.

That thing was not human, it couldn't be, and it had way more energy to spare than I did right after my honeymoon and the most stressful day of my life, all while constructing a whole human being inside my body.

"Nobody messes with my wife or my sister, you son of a bitch," Luther's voice made my heart stop for a second. He lifted the guardian without any trouble and threw that thing over his head.

"Klaus, are you doing this?" I watched that blue glow emanating from his hand like he did that once in the theatre with Ben. "Oh fuck, you must be in so much pain!" I kneeled to apply pressure on the wound and stop the bleeding, not that it mattered anyway.

"Only when I breathe," he gasped.

"Then don't breathe," I chuckled.

In the end, Reginald was wrong. Luther was the most qualified to fight the guardian, not me. My super resistance is only useful when paired with his super strength, he was always the one taking the bad guys from behind while I distracted them or throwing me like a missile to destroy whatever was in our way. We are only good as a team, I could never win on my own.

"I really hope he didn't hear all the stuff I said about not hating him, he'll be so cocky."

"Oh, I heard it. Didn't know you loved me so much, Die Hard," Luther teased before taking Sloane in his arms and directing a glare at our father. "All those years I stayed loyal to you. You wasted my life on the moon, and for what? To use me on this stupid mission?"

"You did have a purpose, I left you to guard the most precious thing in the universe," dad managed to say firmly, even though he was very much shocked.

"And what was it? Clearly not your children!"

"You'll soon understand, you all will!"

"I can't hold it anymore..." Klaus breathed. "I'm gonna die."

"It's okay, honey, you can die. Just be careful, don't leave me here alone!" I begged, turning to watch as Luther slowly faded from his wife's arms. I had felt the same way Sloane was feeling, gutted, hopeless. Losing the person that matters the most, and I couldn't stand to do it again.

"Don't worry about me Liebling, I'll come back," Klaus said right before letting go.

"The sigil is on the lobby floor!" Five screamed just as the guardian seemed about ready to wake up and I prepared for another round. "It's the stars!"

"Children, find a star on the sigil and stand on it!" Dad asked.

"Seven points, seven of us... We're the bells," Viktor quickly stepped onto one of the spots.

"Go ahead, I'll hold him up," I jumped on top of the guardian, ready to throw the first punch, but that face made me recoil. It was covered in holes from where roaches came out. "Shit, I could've used a trypophobia warning, you nasty asshole! Klaus, go stand on a star!"

"What? Star? Okay," he dragged himself as soon as he woke up.

"No, not you," dad stopped Allison before she could find hers. "Five, hurry is the only way to stop him!"

Five analyzed his options as the sound of engines got louder and louder. He was most likely remembering how his older self warned him not to save the world, but he decided to give the plan a chance, blinking to reach the last star while I gouged the guardian's eyes out with my nails. I was scratching his face and trying not to gag once again when the roaches ran up and down my arms.

"Hey! If you guys could get this over with it would be great," I screamed. "This is fucking disgusting!"

"Why is it not working?" Reginald turned the pages in his notebook looking for answers. All the seven bells were in place, something was supposed to happen, but it wasn't.

"I know why," Sloane sobbed. "That thing Vicky said to me earlier, about being one half of a whole. Part of Klaus is missing, he's no good by himself."

"Victoria! Come here right now and stand next to Klaus!" Father asked and this time I was more than glad to obey.

"Aww, my other half," he embraced me and the stars finally lit up.

A powerful electric current connected all of us, zapping the guardian like it was nothing and the hotel around us slowly disappeared giving place to some sort of extraterrestrial backroom. Somewhere that couldn't possibly be on earth.

That's when the pain started. I couldn't move, I couldn't fight it, my last bit of energy was being sucked out of me just like the day when Viktor blew up the moon. Everyone seemed to be in the same situation, except for Allison, who simply watched as Reggie programmed a machine.

I could hear them faintly arguing in the background, for a person who wasn't used to pain at all outside of my monthly cramps, it was excruciating. It was torture and I couldn't even think straight, but then I remembered:

"Fortune!" I whimpered. "Klaus, what's gonna happen to Fortune?"

"I... Don't know," he moaned, never letting go of me as if we were glued together. "We can't lose her."

"He killed Luther, tried to kill Klaus, he won't stop until we're all dead," Five choked out.

"You are killing them!" Allison finally seemed to notice the huge mistake she made with that deal. "Stop!"

"Everything in life has a price," dad continued what he was doing, unbothered by our cries of agony and her mind control.

Tired of his indifference, Alli took the sickle from the floor and sliced his head in half. When he let go, the engine stopped and we all fell down. The eight of us looked more like a bunch of extras in The Walking Dead.

"Klaus, are you okay?" I asked despite knowing the answer.

"Are you okay?" He returned the question.

"Not at all..."

"Yeah, me neither."

"Allison, don't touch that button, you don't know what it does!" Five warned and I turned to see our sister heading to the controls to push a red button on the screen.

"Don't do this!" Viktor tried to use his power even though we were all so weak we could barely stand.

"Do you trust me?" She asked.

"Let her do it!" I groaned. "It can't get any worse than this."

Everyone was talking at the same time, we all had different opinions on what Alli was supposed to do, but she went ahead and pressed the button. I don't know exactly what it did, what I know is that everything stopped existing for a little bit. I stopped existing for a little bit.

And when I opened my eyes, expecting to see the beautiful beach in the afterlife, I saw an elevator door.

"What the fuck?" I grimaced, looking around to find Klaus standing right next to me, as handsome as ever.

"Hey there, Schnucki," he smirked as the door opened, leading us to a park where the Hotel Obsidian used to be.

It was a normal night, no sign of apocalypse or Kugelblitz. The stars and the moon were in place like they've always been and a gentle breeze licked my skin letting me know I was alive.

"Thank God!" I ran out and took a deep breath.

A bust of Reginald grabbed Five's attention and I looked over his shoulder to understand what that was about. Apparently, that was the Obsidian memorial, donated by him on the day we were all born.

"Luther?" Viktor called and my head never turned so fast in my life.

He was the last one to come out of the elevator and he looked at us just as surprised. His huge gorilla physique wasn't there anymore, he looked exactly like he did the last time I saw him before the accident.

"Spacey!" I threw myself into his arms almost at the same time as Viktor, Luther lifted us both easily. "You're here!"

"I'm here! I'm alive!"

"Not just alive... You look hot!" I laughed. "Check out those totally human muscles! You look like my brother again! Oh, I'm gonna make you all the red velvet cakes you want and I promise I'll never say I hate you again, I never hated you! Well, I might say it if you annoy me enough, but I won't mean it!"

"Shit, I look amazing," he mused at his new form once he put me back down.

"Lulu is all svelte now," Klaus giggled before taking a better look at me. "And you! You don't look a day over 25, darling! Your hair, your body..."

He was right, my hair that was cut short back in the '60s was long and wild again and all the weight I lost back then found its way back into my body. I didn't know how I felt about that part, but Klausie seemed to like it, not wasting a second before grabbing my ass and my thighs to feel me up.

"Guess you can't lift me up anymore," I mumbled.

"You underestimate me... Again!"

"I got my arm back," Five narrowed his eyes.

"I gotta show Sloane," Luther turned, but she wasn't there. "Where's Sloane?"

"She was right behind us," Klaus looked at me, but I knew as much as he did. "Can you try to find her?"

"I'm not picking up any signal," I shook my head. "Allison isn't here either, where is she?"

"I don't know about you guys, but I haven't felt this good in years..." Klaus tried to see the bright side. "I'm sober, but it's not a burden. No voices in my head, no haunting feeling of being observed."

"Does anyone know where the hell we are?" Ben asked and I huffed, a little disappointed that he was still stupid Sparrow Ben.

"The hotel, or at least that's where it used to be," Lila pointed at the bust.

Could it be that it actually worked? The universe was brand new and we all had our lives back just the way it was before everything went downhill? Wow, I never imagined dad would be able to do something good for us.

"You got your fingers back!" Lila took Diego's hand.

"Do you think that whole thing with the machine could've made me... Lose the baby?" I whispered, suddenly terrified. If my entire body was different, maybe I wasn't pregnant anymore.

"We'll find a doctor and make sure she's okay," Klaus held me against his chest.

"I don't care about any resets! I want my wife back, where is she?" Luther grabbed Five by the collar.

"I'm glad you're alive, but please take your hands off me," he sneered.

"Not until I get an answer!"

"You know what? Screw this!" Five surged forward like he always did when he was about to blink, but this time he didn't disappear. "Something's wrong..."

"Damn right something's wrong, I'm gonna kick your ass!"

"Yeah, kick his ass!" Diego cheered and I slapped the back of his head.

"No, you moron, my power! I can't blink," Five's voice was thick with concern.

Diego grabbed one of his knives and tried to flip it between his fingers, but it escaped his grasp and fell with a click. "That's not good," he murmured.

While everyone else tried to use their powers to no avail, Klaus put his hand out and waved it around. "Okay, come on... Alakazam ghosties!" he called, but instead of terrifying spirits I saw something even worse:

"KLAUSIE! Your tattoos are gone!" I took his hand, inspecting his palm which was completely clear. "We need to get them redone, they were so sexy."

"I know, they always get you going," he stared at his blank palms with discontent. "It's gonna hurt so bad, but yeah let's redo them. At least we don't have those horrid umbrellas on our wrists anymore."

"I kinda liked that, it was our team logo," I frowned, looking at my arm.

"Did you lose your power too?" Ben asked before slapping me across the face to test it out.

"Ai, seu filho da puta!" I hissed, covering my cheek. "Oh no... Now I'll be scared of everything, anything can hurt me now and I can't protect anyone."

"This means I'm mortal again?" Klaus moaned. "I better be careful, without you to protect me if I die, I'm gone for good. Shit... We better choose the tattoo artist well and pay normal price this time."

"How do we get them back, you idiots?" Ben asked as if one of us would know.

"I- I gotta go find my wife," Luther muttered before leaving us.

"No! You can't go, you were dead five minutes ago, you're fragile!" Klaus warned, but it was too late.

"I'm out, bitches," Ben was the next one to bounce.

"No, come on, we should stick together and figure this out," Viktor called.

"What are we supposed to do?" Diego asked.

"Live our lives?" Lila suggested.

"That doesn't sound so bad," Klaus locked arms with me. "Let's go find that doctor, get my tattoos back, then maybe we can get married. Legally this time, and schedule a nice honeymoon. Wanna go to Brazil? Or Berlin? Or... Disneyland?"

"Calm down, let's find a hospital first and then Disneyland. You'll have to propose to me again if you wanna get married."

"Again? Okay, I just need a minute to organize a flashmob," he joked. "Come on, let's check on our Fortune."

Tag List: @salvador-daley @seanfalco

#umbrella academy fanfic #umbrella academy klaus #umbrella academy #tua fanfic #tua au #tua klaus #tua #klaus hargreeves #klaus hargreeves x oc #fanfic #robert sheehan character fic #robert sheehan fanfic

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androidcharles · 2 years ago

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More short little stories before the next chapter of the main story comes out. Unfortunately, I should probably warn everyone that this takes place a little bit after the events of the first arc, so if you don't want slight spoilers, don't worry about reading this. I just wanted to get it out of my system.

Charles wandered the halls of the Toppat Manor, looking up and down at the little details here and there as he headed up the stairs to the main hall, taking in all the portraits of previous leaders. They were all in order of when they stepped up, right down to Reginald Copperbottom, with a little space for another couple of portraits.

He studied a couple of them, recognizing them from the government database he formerly had access to. There were some that were long dead now, but he looked down the hall and noticed something. Amelia was standing in front of a portrait of one of the leaders.

Amelia had invited him over to talk, as opposed to them meeting in a location, but so far, he had found himself wandering the manor. He had to admit, it wasn’t that bad. He had been to the previous Toppat manor a few times before on government mandated missions, but that was it.

Charles peered over at Amelia before carefully stepping towards her, smiling mischievously as he grabbed from behind. She shrieked before turning around and giving him a hard punch in the gut, causing him to flinch a bit, knocking him into a wall and almost knocking over a portrait hanging above him.

“CHARLES! You scared me!” Amelia said.

“Sorry!” Charles said sheepishly, waving his hands.

“You’re such a jerk… and I invited you here too. The least you could do is let me know you wanna talk to me. Without scaring me!” Amelia said.

“I didn’t think anything scared you,” Charles said, “You seemed so fearless when you were fighting the virus that possessed me.”

“Trust me, I was terrified…” Amelia said, “But it’s easier to mask it when you’re trying to help someone.”

“Huh… so who is this anyway… J. Kensington…” Charles ran his finger over the gold engraved panel as he studied the picture. While he felt a strange aura coming from it, it looked like an ordinary painting.

“That painting has given me the creeps ever since I became a Toppat,” Amelia said, “Every time I look at it, it feels like there this presence in it… beckoning me to come forward or something.”

“It’s just a dumb painting,” Charles said, tipping the frame a bit. It was little crooked from the looks of things.

“I’m telling you, that’s not a dumb painting. I think it’s possessed!” Amelia said.

“Wow… I didn’t think that stuff creeped you out. I’ve seen ghosts and dark magic and I’ve seen Ellie use the force plenty of times, but in the end, it’s not that scary. You wanna know what’s scary?”

“Please, please, no ghost stories,” Amelia whimpered, covering her headset ears.

“I wasn’t gonna tell a ghost story, but OK,” Charles said.

“Boo.”

“KYYAAAAAAA!!” Amelia cried out as she ducked behind Charles, who started to chuckle as Burt stepped forward, giggling with him a bit.

“THAT WASN’T FUNNY BURT, SERIOUSLY!” Amelia shouted, “You’re such a jerk!”

“Are you seriously looking at Jaques’ portrait again?” Burt leaned forward, studying the painting with great intensity before letting out a small “pfft” and backing away.

“It’s just a painting,” Burt said, “It’s seriously nothing to worry about.”

“There’s a presence in it! I swear, I can feel it!” Amelia said.

“I’m surprised you can feel it, but considering how you guys are-” Burt took a sip of his coffee before chuckling, “I mean, it’s not impossible for things like that to exist. But these portraits are painted for the Toppat leaders to benchmark who they were. Whether they were good… or bad.” He glanced over at a portrait of Terrence Suave before clearing his throat.

“Maybe that leader put a hex on it! We should ask the Witch! She knows more about that stuff than Ellie does!” Charles said.

“Noooo no no no nonononono. No scary stuff!” Amelia whimpered, “Seriously, it’s nothing to be curious about.”

“What are you guys all gathered here for?” The three of them looked up to Sven as he approached the group.

“I see our favorite government dog has infiltrated our manor once again.”

“Former government dog. Remember, you guys got me kicked out?” Charles said as Burt placed an arm over his shoulder.

“Water under the bridge, huh buddy?” Burt said.

“Doesn’t mean we can’t trust you. You still work for the government. You just don’t have to worry about it’s rules,” Sven sneered.

“C’mon Sven, I know Charles isn’t the best person I could have invited over, but could you at least pretend you like him?” Amelia said.

“Not really…” Sven looked to portrait they were just talking about and let out a small “huh.”

“Why were guys talking about this portrait? Jaques… ohoho I see… Charlie, you’re probably curious about the story,” Sven said, getting a wicked grin on his face.

“Story?” Charles was suddenly on his toes as Burt rolled his eyes, muttering “Here we go again…”

“W-w-wait, what story? I never heard the story…” Amelia said, her voice wobbly. And I don’t think I want to…

“It’s the story of Jaques Kensington and how his soul got trapped eternally within a painting of oils…” Sven turned off one of the lights to set the mood as Charles rolled his eyes and Amelia clung to Charles’ arm.

“Jaques Kensington was a very eccentric leader. He was so eccentric that he appointed Randy as his right hand man. But that’s not important. What was important were his methods. He wasn’t just any Toppat that would have vast array of weapons and skills that would match his name, no no… instead he would use dark magic… it wasn’t uncommon for Toppat’s to dabble in magic. I mean look at the Witch. But Jaques was a legend for it.

“He would brainwash security guards, imprison police officers in bubbles of terror, shackle government officials in chains of despair. You name any dark magic and he did it. He once trapped a general in a block of black ice, a special type of ice that imprisons you in your worst nightmares for ALL ETERNITY…”

“Whoa…” Charles said, “Hardcore…”

“Definitely hardcore. But… one night, when he was working on a new spell, he messed up. Big time. His spell was designed to transform people in portraits so he could display his latest victims, kinda like how you take a moose head and place it over your fireplace… but instead… he trapped himself. Within that painting right there!” Sven pointed at the painting behind them, causing Amelia to shiver a bit. Charles only rolled his eyes as Burt shook his head.

“Seriously…?” Burt said, raising his eyebrow.

“Super seriously. He was trapped within the painting, leaving Randy in charge of the clan. Of course, there’s a rumor that goes through the manor… legend has it sometimes on dark nights… you can see a ghostly hand emerging from the painting. Some say it’s the hand of Jaques himself, trying to find another person to drag into the painting with him… to take. His. Place.” Sven cackled as Amelia whimpered, Charles sighed, rolling his eyes again as Burt groaned.

“Sven… he was probably arrested by a government official and they never found out where they took him. You seriously think someone would accidentally trap themselves in a painting?” Burt said, “That’s so ridiculous.”

“We have to get rid of this painting right now!” Amelia shouted.

“Omigod Amelia, it’s just a story! Sven probably heard that from his dad,” Charles said.

“Yes and he was a part of the clan just like I was. He knew Jaques when he was in charge and I’m pretty sure he knew that he trapped himself in there,” Sven said.

“Please, your dad probably told you that story so you would stay in bed at night instead of wandering around like a dumb child,” Charles said.

“Yeah, despite the weird aura coming from it, it’s just a painting. I have a feeling that Jaques just booby trapped it with his dark magic so that no one would steal it,” Burt said.

“What’s going on out here?” The four of them looked up as the light came on, revealing Reginald staring at the four of them with a look of great curiosity.

“Well, Charles… always good to see you. Sven, you’re not scaring Amelia again are you?” Reginald asked.

“Yeah, but I’m having a hard time with these two,” Sven said, pointing at Burt and Charles. Charles giggled, bouncing a little as Burt groaned for about the hundredth time.

“That’s because I’ve heard this story before. Three times in fact… four now because you won’t give it up,” Burt muttered.

“D-d-d-dad? You don’t really think that Jaques is, uh, trapped in that painting do you?” Amelia asked innocently. They stared intensely at Reginald as he suddenly fidgeted with his cape, glancing to the side as he did.

“Ah, well, Jaques disappeared when I was still getting used to everything. I was in my early twenties by that point and I had just been promoted to a higher status. But in the end, no one knows what happened to him. At lot of the Toppats believe that he was just secretly arrested and taken to secret facility like the Wall. But some do believe that he’s trapped in this painting,” Reginald explained.

“Chief… there’s no way,” Burt said.

“Well, you can believe what you want. Jaques was definitely a strange one…” Reginald said.

“We have to get rid of this painting than! Maybe we can replace it!” Amelia said.

“Oh, princess, it’s just a story…” Reginald tried to reassure his daughter as Charles tipped his head to the side, looking at the painting with great curiosity. He squinted at it before looking to Sven and Burt.

“Maybe I should wait until Amelia isn’t too scared to talk,” Charles said, “Thanks a lot Sven.”

“Aw come on, don't say that! I was just trying to be polite. Get you introduced to our culture or whatever.” Sven said as they headed downstairs again.

“Real mature Sven…” Burt muttered as Charles nodded his head in agreement. Though he didn’t really want to tell them what he saw. It wasn’t scary to him.

But he could have sworn, while all the commotion was going on, he saw a ghostly hand sticking out of the portrait.

#the henry stickmin collection #charles calvin #amelia copperbottom #sven svensson #burt curtis #reginald copperbottom #jaques kensington #the narrators stories #katie's stick drawings

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gilmores-glorious-blog · 2 years ago

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final tua liveblog!! those last two episodes were… really something. wow.

episode 9:

- luther being spaceboy <3

- luther signing his package to reginald “love, luther” and then scribbling out the word love </3

- poor luther :,( this whole thing would suck real bad

- OH SHIT IS THIS. THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON 👀 i.e. where reginald hargreeves keeps his fucked up little experiments or whatever??

- WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHO THE FUCK IS ABIGAIL HARGREEVES??!!?!! is this reginald’s wife from the alien planet in s1?? it’s gotta be because i don’t know who the fuck else it’d be,,,

- oh heyyy shirtless ben 👀

- five sleeping on the shelf in the kitchen :,) he’s just a Little Guy <3

- NOT FIVE’S WEDDING SPEECH 😩😩

- “jesus.” “he’s due any minute now……….…. that was a joke.”

- okay reginald’s deal was definitelyyyyy with allison, there’s no way she just had this change of heart overnight

- “you’re my husband” <3

- reginald’s backstory when?!

- ooooo diego’s got cool leather prosthetic fingers now

- diego getting up and lila falling to the couch with a soft little “ow” was way cuter to me than it should have been

- oh fuck allison’s definitely not being genuine, isn’t she?? i want this conversation to be real SO BADLY but,,,, she is an award-winning actress,,,,,,,,

- “diego and lila. yeah. they do it on the stairs sometimes.”

- “everyone was boning everyone last night 🙄” five is my aroace king

- awwww viktor listening to harlan’s tapes </3

- this show always pops off with its montages

- “we’ve all lost people.. *looks at five*….. mannequins”

- “there must be seven” i knew this bitch adopted seven babies specifically for a reason!!

- this family is just a bunch of drama queens who love to guilt trip the others :/

- emmy raver-lampman deserves a goddamn emmy (the irony only appeared after typing this out),, the scene where allison just broke down sobbing completely broke my heart </3

- “are you okay?” “this is the failure of my life.” lmao relatable

- holy. fucking. shit.

- i was literally about to pick up my phone and type “the luther and reginald hug feels like it should be sweet but i have a feeling something’s going to go terribly wrong” and then THAT happened…. the fucking GASP i just let out oh my fucking god!!!!!!!!!!

- reginald’s line about weddings and funerals,,,, the first episode of the whole show being called “we only see each other at weddings and funerals”,,, full circle moment

- this is legitimately so chilling and also i’m gonna sob if luther’s actually dead

- forget everything i said about liking reginald this season FUCK this fucking bastard

- i’m. literally in shock omfg.

- no no no no no they’re all about to find out and when they find out it’ll be real no no no

- ha i called it on reginald’s deal being with allison (i know it’s objectively very obvious but shhh let me have this)

- NOOOO SLOANE 😭😭😭😭

- reginald hargreeves i want you dead so badly.

- i think allison knows that reginald killed luther and is gonna have a redemption moment

- PLEASE let klaus summon luther’s ghost please please please all that power buildup can’t have been for nothing

- welp there goes chet :/

- diego all angry towards the guardian saying they killed luther…. i want him to kill his dad SO BAD

- holy fuck reginald no leave klaus alone you fucker

- i swear to god the immortality better extend to the kugelblitz or i’m gonna lose my shit

- oh my god. no. i think i know what klaus’ plan was but if i’m wrong or if it didn’t work i’m. i’m actually gonna not be okay.

- i like the color inverted credits tho 🥲

episode 10:

- i feel like it’s important to state that i’m starting the finale at one am on a vacation with my entire extended family.. i’m sitting in the dark in the living room of our rental house watching with headphones on….. and i’m trying harder than i’ve ever tried to not scream/stim/wake up my family due to sheer panic and nervous excitement

- reginald you lying bitch

- sloane 😭😭😭😭😭

- the siblings being in denial that two of them died,,, me too besties,, me too 😩

- sorry i’m. gonna lose it,, lmfao.. the audience + all the other characters are having breakdowns and meanwhile klaus and luther are literally just vibing in the afterlife

- “welcome to my hood :)” i love this immortal bastard

- “he’s an alien!” “we’re trying not to use that kinda terminology here.”

- “you could just say he’s…….. b r i t i s h.”

- obsessed with luther freaking the fuck out while klaus is just chilling

- this is simultaneously so angsty for klaus and also so rad for him,, i love this ghost bitch with all my heart

- thank you five for having braincells!!

- “luther loved you…. to the moon and back” 😭😩

- klaus just fucking hissing at luther,, i love him

- “the Void is my house!”

- i’m losing my actual shit over the fact that when klaus makes a weird ‘oOooOoO’ noise, the captions say [imitates theremin] that’s the funniest fucking thing ahskrsjadkdksks

- reginald calling ben number two… ouch :/.

- “you’re a duo. no one wants to listen to your endless bickering.” i hate reginald so much but points were made here

- oh yeah reginald, you “forgot your journal”,, yeah right you lying bitch,,, what shit are you going to pull now!?

- don’t you fucking ring that bell.

- not creepy clock ticking sounds 😩😩 i’m still recovering from stranger things s4 they can’t do this to me !!

- these bitches and their parental trauma :/ (this is about diego and lila but isn’t it really about all the characters?)

- i love diego so so so much he’s so sweet

- SIR you just wasted your ONE shot from that speargun

- klaus coming back to fuck with reginald,, bastard boy <3

- “one bell ring away from my prize” oh i hate the sound of that

- “oh if i had a nickel for every time i heard that, i’d have a dollar!”

- wellll shit.

- diego and lila are using so many pet names for each other and it’s making me soft :,)

- ohh i hate this guardian motherfucker

- sloane is such a girlboss,, ben’s right, revenge DOES look good on her

- oh SHIT they’re all getting separated

- “who has no part in the gestation of the baby for the next six months. ~nice try~”

- diego noooo don’t do this

- lila crying </3

- fuck yes ben that was so cool !!

- why do i feel like there’s multiple guardians,,

- yeppppp there it is (re: the above point)

- lila and viktor are so fucking cool

- klaus please tell everyone what happened i need reggie to get his ass kicked asap

- lila saying “i love you” super angrily <3

- the sigil is on the floor isn’t it,,

- OH FUCK FIVE!! YOUR HAND!!!!

- “NOBODY HURTS MY WIFE YOU SON OF A BITCH” AHSKTKFJAKDKS 💗✨HIM��💗

- oh great,, after all that the guardian’s face gives me INTENSE trypophobia 😐

- KLAUS yesss use those powers !!

- “we’re the bells :0” i say this with love,, yeah no shit

- reginald saying “not you” to allison about stepping on the sigils does NOT bode well for the rest of them,,,,

- ewwwww the guardian was all cockroaches,,, oogy boogy from nightmare before christmas type beat,,

- what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck—

- c’mon allison….

- this might just be wishful thinking but it looks like klaus is clutching the dog tags as he disintegrates 😩😭

- YES ALLISON!!! MURDER THAT WEIRD ALIEN!! SAVE YOUR FAMILY!!!!!!!!

- FUCK,, allison,,, pushing the big red button is literally never a good idea

- okay obviously this is bad and there’s gonna be some serious repercussions, but also,,,, claire and ray and allison :,,)

- LUTHER :D !!! and he’s normal sized!!

- the luther + viktor hug <3

- fuck.. where’s sloane?!?

- oh FUCK do they not have their powers?!??!??

- “yeah kick his ass 😀”

- diego remains my himbo king 😩😌

- *twirls knife* *drops it* “…. that’s not good.”

- holy shit klaus’ palm tattoos are gone !

- “this means i’m mortal again? awww man :,/”

- oh shit i don’t think they have their umbrella tattoos either !!!

- does. does klaus.. does klaus not have the dog tags. because i will genuinely scream.

- “asshole.” you tell him, viktor!!

- NO is reginald just a trump-esque billionaire in this timeline??! 😩😩

- ahh shit abigail’s alive :0

- what the FUCK was that after credits scene??????? i thought there were two bens in this timeline for a second but i think it’s just sparrow!ben up to something nefarious?? i don’t know but it’s weird

- i can’t believe i have to wait two more years for more of this shit :/

- i. i hate this actually. this is the saddest possible outcome to me and i can’t even explain why,,,, obviously i’m glad they’re all alive (?) and if they’re happy, i’m happy, but like. that’s just gonna erase their pasts and they all split up and i can’t stand it,, i hate hate hate when found families go their separate ways,,, they BETTER find a different way to resolve this shit >:(

- wait shit,, i’m reading some articles and,, is allison supposed to be dead??? because if so i will s o b.

- y’know what bugs me? this entire season had so much plot and lore explained but never once did it explain what the fuck was up with christopher. which is objectively very funny, but still,,,

anyways. that’s a wrap on my absolute mess of a s3 reaction. i’m gonna be thinking about these bitches for a while,,, i’d missed them <3

#i actually finished on sunday but it took me this long to process my thoughts lol #the umbrella academy #tua #tua spoilers #the umbrella academy spoilers #tua s3 #i feel in shock that it’s over. i waited two years for this and now it’s finished and i have to wait two more :/.#long post #eli.posts

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allhailthewicked · 4 years ago

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Random JATP Headcannons: Reggie’s Allergies

Hi hello I wrote most of this a while ago and lost the motivation to finish it but I found it again and I finished it up. So there is a chance the writing styles in this could have changed a bit. Also, I know that Reggie is a ghost so he can’t have allergies, but this is my headcannon that I wrote for fun and not to be taken seriously so.... ALSO ALSO trigger warning for food mentions, allergic reaction, dread and panic attacks. Anyway onto the story

Reggie loves food, that’s a common fact about him. Everyone knows that. Honestly at this point his love language is giving and receiving food. So when Ray found out about the ghost band and how they’re now somewhat corporeal, he immediately accepted them into the Molina family and the boys were ECSTATIC, especially Reggie. And Reggie being Reggie (lovable and caring) decide to show his love for Molina family by cooking them a spectacular dinner (even though he couldn’t eat it). Reg decided to make the family a nice lobster and steak surf and turf with mashed potatoes. All was going well to well some might say (is this some foreshadowing??? nah, I would never). Reggie first had to kick the whole Molina family of the kitchen a frustrating task, but there were some many S-Tier moments like:

“ Don’t worry Ray I promise your kitchen is in safe hands. I used to cook myself all the time in the 90′s, especially when Mom was visiting Gran in the hospice and my old man was at the bar. Don’t worry about me, Dad I’m fine, and I promise I won’t burn down your kitchen … Wait why are you- why are you looking at me like that? … WHAT NOOOO no I totally don’t see you as a father figure, Mr. Molina... oh... I can call you Dad.... noted... Dad!”

“... yes even you Ms. Julie. Why don’t you go find Luke? He was doing some serious pouting earlier because you were busy painting my nails he said something about me being your favorite. I mean he’s right but what if you go paint his nails too!!! I feel like navy is really his color.”

“Don’t be sad little dude tomorrow I’ll make some pancakes, and you can film for your channel and be all like ‘My Kitchen is Haunted By a Pancake Ghost (3 am challenge) *Almost Died* *EMOTIONAL* See all your YouTube lessons taught me something. Well is that a smile I see now little dude? We love to see that now get out of the kitchen, so I cook you dinner.”

Anyway as I said before all is going well. Reggie hummed the newest song that they band was working on as he peeled, chopped, and boiled the potatoes before moving on to seasoning the rib-eye with salt, black & white pepper, and garlic powder moving his hip to the rhythm. He sliced the onions, mushrooms, and asparagus before sautéing them and going back to mashing the potatoes. Reggie did make the mistake of putting the steak in a scalding hot pan. It didn’t burn the steak or the kitchen that bad, but that wasn’t when things went wrong. It was when he grabbed one of the lobster when things got funky.

The second grabbed one of the swimmy bois he felt that something wasn’t right. He looked down at his hand, widening his eyes as red blotches and streaks started to spread across his hands. His hand rapidly start to swell and double in size, with a burning feeling started to arrive.

Oh Shit.

How the hell after 25 years did I forget that I’m allergic to shellfish. Reggie thought to himself. I can even make a simple dinner right. It was the only way I could repay them. I’m so stupid. I’m so stupid. I’m so...

His vision started to blur from the unwiped tears, forgetting about his pain as he started to openly sob. He sunk down to the floor (after double-checking to make sure that the burners are off) and put his head in his hands as he ignores the itching and pain starting to appear on his face.

Reggie sat in that position sobbing for who knows how long until he heard a voice, “Mijo? Are you okay”

Reggie's head shot up at the voice wiping away his tears. “Oh yeah I totally fine Ray onions just me cry. Don’t worry about me,” Reggie said, plastering on a fake smile he is used to putting on that was immediately undermined by his voice being watery and crackling with every word. Reggie followed Ray’s concerned gaze to his hand which swelled up to twice the size

“Reggie, you know you can tell me anything. I won’t be mad, I just want you to feel comfortable around here. I just want you to be safe,” Ray said, trying to comfort the ghost boy.

Immediately Reggie broke down again at Ray’s compassion, “I just ruined dinner because I forgot that I am allergic to fucking shellfish. How the hell does someone forget that.”

Ray pulled the crying boy into a hug rubbing his back as consoling him. “Hey hey hey mijo you didn’t ruin anything. The food looks and smells amazing you do not need to blame yourself for things that are out of your control. Okay, you did an amazing job.”

Reggie looked back up at him with big eye, “Really?”

“Of course! I am so proud of you. I couldn’t a meal like this even if I tried. You know I didn’t know that ghost had allergies,” Ray nodded examine Reggie’s hand. “Do you have your EpiPen on you or do ghost work differently?”

“Hey Reggie, Luke kicked me out of the garage and told me to hel- HOLY SHIT,” Alex shouted rushing over to Reggie. “Hold on I have a spare EpiPen in my bag”

After panicking from Alex and more hugs from Ray, Reggie was able to finish dinner. And it turned out to be a delicious after all.

Bonus:

When Reggie and Luke were in 5th grade, Luke thought it would be a good idea to catch bumblebees in their hands. Let me just say it definitely wasn’t. The caught and release about 3 bumblebees before the incident happened. One stung Reggie hand and immediately his hand swelled up, as hives started to appear on his skin. He tried to stand up before he doubled over in pain and had to sit back down. Luke started to FREAK OUT and ran to a teacher who was helping a baby Alex (by baby I mean like 10 year old) with his math homework. The teacher jumped up to to notice Reggie curled up in a ball breathing heavily, stabbing him with the EpiPen in her bag and sending another teacher inside to call the ambulance. And that was the first time Reggie rode in an ambulance.

When the boys were alive Reggie has mild reactions to a lot of food and he doesn’t realize it a lot of time. He just thought that everyone’s tongue goes numb and tingly when they eat kiwi. So one day Reggie passes Alex is eating a fruit salad and he asks him why he’s eating so much of it without stopping because of all the burning and weird tingles. Alex stops eating puts his for down and is like Reginald, what do you mean by you feel burning when you eat fruit salad. Now Reggie knows that this is bad because Alex never busts out his full name unless he is trying to cheer him up or trying (and successfully) scolding him. Reggie goes on to explain that sometime when has fruit salad some fruits are spicy so he has to stop every once in a while to have a drink of water and goes a way brief, but the numbness is still there. The band decided to take time out of rehearsal and take him to the doctors and that is when they find out that’s Reggie is allergic to apples, pears, mangos, kiwi, and pineapple. Y’know, along with bees and shellfish.

A/N: Wow, it’s been a while since I wrote something for this fandom. It’s definitely not my best work but I enjoy the concept so much. Also, I’m sorry if some of the dialogue is cringe I’m tired and I really wanted to post before I lost motivation again.

#julie and the phantoms #jatp #reggie peters #jermey shada #reggie molina #julie molina #carlos molina #ray molina #alex mercer #luke patterson #at some point in this you can see when i realied that reggie is ghost and can't have allergic reactions #tw food mention #food mention tw #tw allergies #tw allergic reactions #allergic reaction tw #i'm kind of not the proudest of this one but I don't want it in my drafts anymore #ALSO THIS IS PROBABLY NOT HOW ALLERGIES WORK SO PLEASE EDUCATE ME LMAOOOOOOO

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bowieandqueen11 · 4 years ago

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Hello, and Goodbye / Klaus Hargreeves Imagine

Request: How good was season 2 of umbrella academy! Can I request a Klaus x reader where he meets a young woman in the 60s and they fall in love. Only to have a heartfelt goodbye when Klaus has to travel back to 2019?

Noooo @billhaderstrashbag I’m so EMOTIONAL RN <3

Warning, some strong language!

Comments and reblogs are really really appreciated!

Klaus always forgot how uncomfortable the ground was, until he was being shoved down onto it.

In his mind, when he rushed out of that muddy, dirty alleyway and straight into 1960s Dallas, everything would like a clean slate. The diner he had randomly chosen to run into, where no one knew who he was, and no one knew he had helped bring about the end of the world, he thought, would be vibrant, buzzing with young people so familiar and yet so different from him, and rock n roll would be playing on some crappy jukebox in the back. The servers would be in bright uniforms, likely on roller skates. Everything would be classic, refurbished and perfect. If only, he ended up thinking when he landed on the pavement, he had paid more attention during Reginald’s history lessons.

On bursting through the double doors his smile faded. The place was dingy, cluttered and smelt of old frying oil, the seat covers in the bays were faded red and ripped, and the servers had sneered at him almost immediately when he had slid into one of the booths.

‘You smell, and you’re chasing away all my customers pretty boy, so stay out!’

Landing in a dirty puddle, Klaus blows drops of water off his lips and watch them angrily fall back to the floor with a contemptuous shake of his head. He hated being wet, and he hated, more than anything, being left to fend for himself again.

‘Fine!’, he shouts resigned to the floor. He ignores Ben’s shaking head as he grimaces, rubbing his elbow as he pulls himself up to a sitting position. ‘Your food smells shit anyway, you couldn’t pay me to eat it!’

‘We’ve been here, what, twenty minutes and you’ve already pissed someone off. Nice going, dumbass.’

‘Oh shut your pie hole Ben, I’ve already been abandoned by enough family members today.’

‘Well hello there, stranger. You’re looking awfully crumpled down there. Need a hand?’

Klaus glanced up from where he was sitting on the floor, noticing first not the hand that had fallen down, outstretched to him in the first kind gesture he had received in, well, months, but the jewel on your finger instead. In the golden Dallas sunlight, it glittered like the sun-kissed ocean lapping the sands, and so he grabbed onto your hand, gently pulling it off your finger and snapping it shut in his palm as you graciously pulled him up.

The second thing, Klaus Hargreeves noticed, was how beautiful you were. He felt almost bad for stealing your jewellery, but as you smiled at him, all worries melted from his head and instead he found himself giving you a dopey, love sick grin in return. Ben, already seeing where this was going, only rolled his eyes and turned to walk off down the street.’

‘What would your name be, young man?’

‘Uh...Klaus! I’m Klaus, and I am delighted to meet you. Enchante.’ He wiggles his eyebrows as he kisses the back of your hand.

‘Hello there Klaus. It’s very wonderful, if a little odd, to meet you.’

The morning had broken like the sweet melody of a blackbird, full of promise, freshness and newness to come when you had woken up in Klaus’ arms this morning. Now it sat like a cold cup of coffee waiting to be drained away.

As soon as you stepped back into your home, and dropped the groceries off by the front table in the hallway, you knew something was wrong.

None of the lights were on, was the first clue, despite how late in the afternoon it was. Klaus had told you long ago about the number of times he was left to fend for himself in the darkness of his dad Mausoleum, and from then on at least one light was always left on in the mansion.

Yet there he was, standing in the half-light of the living room, almost looking like the shadows he’d spent his whole life trying to avoid. Hunched over, you could already see his shoulders were trembling underneath his black trench coat, and you already knew, although you tried to shake the thought out of your mind as you stepped towards him, that your time was up.

Pausing by the doorway for a moment, you let your eyes roam over him before he noticed you were there. You’d have to go in eventually, you know you did, but at least this way, before you placed your hand against his shoulder and broke him out of his nightmare, you had a few moments to prepare.

He shattered underneath your touch like fragments of stardust, lips quivering as he turns to you. Trying to put on airs, he fails to smile at you, his lips only slightly twitching in his usual half smirk. You can see it in his eyes, the ones that bore so desperately into your own, as he turns to grab onto your fingers, that he’s thinking of pleading, of begging, of getting down onto his knees and asking the universe why it won’t allow him to keep one good thing, anybody in his life that he loves more than himself.

Instead, you speak first, not allowing him the chance to crumble.

‘You have to go, don’t you.’

He doesn’t say anything, can’t find any of the right words to say to someone he loves this much. Instead he just allows his heart to ache in that familiar way it had since he was a child, that intimate knowledge and feeling of loneliness and heartbreak as he keeps scanning your face, trying to find anyway out of it this time. He wanted nothing from his life, nothing, no fame, no drugs, hell he would even take the ghosts, if he could just spend one more day in your company.

Eventually he lets go of your hands, biting his lower lip as he reaches into the back pocket of his black bell bottom jeans, pulling something easily out.

‘I was going to ask you to marry me, but I’m not sure we have time for that riggght now.’

His tone is a false cheery you can see right through, but what he couldn’t stop were the shaking of his hands as he holds the diamond out in front of you. The same one, you realise with a gasp, he had stolen from you the first day you had met. You had always thought, as you were pulled along in the tidal wave of this troubled young man, unknowable but all encompassing, that he had pawned it in order to find a better life for himself, for the two of you. The truth, in fact, hurt more.

Trying to collect your thoughts, you only cup his hand, letting the ring fall back into his palm, before gently cupping his fingers closed and just allowing him to tremble in your touch.

‘I would have loved to marry you. Keep it, but do me a favour? Don’t let me know when you’re going. This is the last memory I want to have of us - a happy one.’

‘But I don’t want to leave.’

His bright green eyes locked onto yours, and you could see then all the torment he had faced in his life, as if some ravaging storm had been encased within his soul. He opened his mouth as if to speak again, but only blubbered, trying to fight back his tears. Eventually, so uncharacteristically for him, he quietly managed to whisper, ‘please don’t leave me.’

Then the storm was let loose - the ocean started to leak, little water droplets streaming down Klaus’ rosy cheeks, burning so hotly against his skin in a way they hadn’t since he was ten years old, during Reginald’s first experiment.

‘Please don’t leave me alone again. I don’t want to go.’

‘Well I’m telling you that you have to. You trust me, right? Well I’m telling you, Klaus, my love, that I am not more important than the end of the world.’

Klaus bit his lip, eyes roaming over every piece of furniture in the living room to make sure they don’t connect with yours again. His body squirms against your touch as you pull his hands towards you and encase him in a hug, melting into your arms. His hand desperately clings onto your shoulder, the other pulling away to cup your cheek.

‘...What if you are to me.’

Slowly, and inevitably, you stand up onto your tippy toes and press your lips against Klaus’. It’s soft, and gentle, and familiar, but it’s filled with so much warmth, so much knowledge that you two were always meant to find each other, no matter when or where you were, that you belonged together, if only for a short while. It filled him with warmth, and calmness, tenderness spilling from his heart and rushing to every corner of his body, each inch of him saturated with a love that, yes, he may lose, but he was so glad he had even managed to find in the first place.

Eventually, you pull away and press your forehead against his for a moment, before pushing against his chest and letting him out of your grasp.

‘Goodbye, Klaus.’

#tua #tua season 2 #the umbrella academy #klaus hargreeves #klaus hargreeves imagine #klaus hargreeves x reader #klaus hargreeves fluff #klaus hargreeves angst #number four #number four imagine #tua imagine #the umbrella academy imagine #klaus tua #klaus tua imagine #klaus the umbrella academy

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