#RAH IM SCARED. WHATEVER

[fightclubgayporn]

no one look at me

[stunt-lads]

.

[icarusredwings]

Gonna have to reject your offer of He/ It cheif. Managment (Logan) would kill you for even inferring the idea.

Other people would come along and be like "What is that thing!??"

And you would just see Logan shift instantly from "Yeah ill give you a can of beans and a place to rest" to "Get the fuck off my property before you become his dinner" all while Wade is just... sitting there... behaving??

"He's not a THING! Thats my husband you asshole! And if you don't like it then fuck off!" Followed by Gabby going "Thats my papa you jerk!"

"It's just a zombie? You're married to a sombie!?"

"Again- HES my husband. I said till death do us part except death really isnt his thing so im stuck with him. You got a problem with that!?"

It makes Wade always very happy to be defended even though he surely could do it himself. For the most part things are pretty tame.

But he DOES clap a bit when logan mentions feeding him. 'Ooh yay, I get fed multiple times today' kind of way since Logan is very strict about resources, Wades is not allowed to just eat whatever because he'd probably just eat everything.

Sometimes if Logan forgets to feed him, He'll come to Logan and give him this specific whine, like a dog begging for bacon scraps only for Logan to feel terrible. "Oh my god Im sorry we were so busy today and- ... You're starving and you're not trying to bite me... you're trying so hard.. aw fuck wade.. im so sorry.. what am I going to do with you?"

"Mmm.... rawhrah?"

"Right. Feed you before you go insane. Got it."

Some days are like this. When he's clearly much more human. Being permitted cuddles and nuzzles, to play with gabby and to sleep in the bed. It's very rare that Logan lets him sleep in the bed. But it's the happiest day for wade when he is. And its not like they can even do anything (bro lost his dick miles ago and has no clue where the fuck it went but it just fell off somewhere and now hes a ken doll. This is great for those of you who like transfem wade COUGH COUGH)

But even if it didn't fall off its not like they could do anything anyway, They can't even kiss on the lips anymore. Logan has a theory that it's similar to rabies, where the infection has to be spread through saliva into an open cut or your mouth, etc.

So the nights he's allowed, they honestly just cuddle and stare at each other for a bit before sleeping. Usually, Wade is the little spoon because having Wade behind him is dangerous.

Wade heavily sees affection as a reward now, so getting to hug the girls is a massive thing for him, getting to sit there and watch gabby draw him is a big thing, hell Logan will sometimes even let Gabby play with wade out front because Wade has whole ass attacked other zombies whos tried to hurt gabby before.

One time Laura shot him in the head because gabby thought it would be a good idea to play "pretend zombie" and Wade didnt put two and two togerher that acting 'feral' as Logan calls it, outside with gabby would be a bad idea.

"What the fuck did you do that for!?"

"He was feral and going after gabs!!"

"Nu uh!! We were playing and you killed him for no reason! Youre so mean!"

Logan just sighs as gabby runs to her bed because it upsets her greatly when they have to 'keep wade in check' she fully understands that hes dangerous but deep down thats still her papa and watching your big sissy kill your papa is not something most 13 year olds would enjoy.

".. L.. you gotta stop wasting ammo. You know if it was really a code red that wouldn't do anything anyway. You have to decapitate him if you even want a flying chance. See?? Hes already up again... hi sweetie..."

Wade, whos sat up and now giving them a confused look of 'what did I do? 🥺'

"...arr Arawh"

"Im sorry, wade.." Laura squeaks out, still holding the shot gun. Shes just terrified of loosing gabby is all. To her, gabs is her responsibility.

"Rah awr rahrrr..."

"I know. She's sorry. She's just.. scared. No more playing that okay?"

"Mmh..😔"

There is infact some drift between laura and wade but neither of them mean it. Really they dont. If gabs is put of the picture Laura still smiles and talks to him but its like the moment gabby is near him Laura goes full protection mode and over reacts.

And FOR THE RECORD i have never seen the walking dead but its terrifying how accurate that picture is.

The longest Wade has been unconscious is probably 18 hours but this was before getting to the girls.

They have witnessed the exact thing you're saying, though. With Wade tied down in the shed, on his leash, and handcuffed, trying to talk to him, yelling at him to snap out of it because he's scaring the girls. Something different about feral wade from the other zombies though is it seems he's smarter, knawing on his handcuffs while most will just flail their arms helplessly. While his teeth dont do shit to the cuffs, its scary for Logan because it makes him think that one day he might actually have to find a way to kill him permanently.

He can undo locks, open cans, do many things that the others cant and he wants to believe its just Wades human part being stronger because in some weird way hes half mutant human and half zombie. A weird combo that makes him much different.

Laura, unlike gabby, too is terrified of one day wade going feral while their father is out collecting more supplies or hunting and she wont know what to do.

Wade isnt fast though. Thats the ONLY good thing. Hes smart, cant die, and is starving to death all the time. But hes slow. Infact he dosn't heal properly. His leg is half broken still from the last time it fell off and seems to barely be receptive to his brains nerves telling it to move so he lowkey drags it, only being able to use it to stand up right and take very small steps.

When he DOES finally come back hours later, He cries. Apologizes, begs for forgiveness, and most times is actually SCARED of Logan. While he hates it emotionally, he knows that logically it was a good thing for Wade to flinch away from him after being locked up.

A scared and fed zombie is a well-behaved zombie...

And before anyone comes here to say this is dehumanization of what ever else- HES LITERALLY NOT HUMAN ANYMORE.

Case closed. Besides I think wade would worry more about the fact of him trying to kill his kids then the fact hes leashed to a wall.

I dont CARE that it's November 9th and "Halloweens over" ITS MY BIRTHDAY MONTH ILL POST IF I WANT TOO

Anyway.

Thinking about apocolpse au.

Wade getting bitten by a zombie, Logan freaking out, Wade dying, and him coming back (Again)

"Didn't you just die?? I literally fucking burried you!!"

And wades like:

"Of course. Man, God REALLY hates you dosn't he?"

And he's bassically the same person except just saying, "Rahhah har ran re" (translation: I think the devil doesn't want me either)

"What?? Oh for fucks sake... tell me you're kidding.."

"Rah?" 🤔

"Great so now you stink more and you can't talk. Fucking lovely."

"Mmmmh..." 🥺 (would you still love me if I was a zombie?)

"*sighs, blushes and grumbles how insane this is and how much of a bad idea this is* Fine! Come on...."

"Raah!!" 😄

And sometimes his limbs fall off because I think it would be funny if you just saw him stop, turn around, pick up his arm and shove it back into place like a dislocated shoulder. (Marvel Magic)

But its very obvious that Wade is still consious and so logan leads him around, puts a leash on him, ties him up when he goes to sleep the first few nights so wade dosn't eat him, sometimes luring him with a piece of his thigh or telling him he'll feed him soon to make him behave.

The only thing about this resource wise is that it seems Wade is a bottomless pit, not ever able to get enough. It's like all the nutrients just pass right through him, so he can't get fed meals daily, but Logan will share at least one bite of his food. It makes Wade so happy and way more "wade like" than zombie.

Logan has learned that the hungrier Wade gets the worse it would be, snapping at logan a few times.

"Grr-"

"Aye! That's enough outta ya"

"GggRah!"

"Hey!! I said no! Bad! Bad wade!"

"Mmmh??"

"Bad!!"

"Mmh....rahah.."

"I forgive you. But stop trying to bite me. I feed you, don't I? I hold your hand and tell you that I love you?"

Wade is actually extremely friendly for a zombie (duh) and still yaps at logan except its nonsense. Logan tries hard to understand him and talk back.

He holds his hand sometimes, even lays next to him only to scold him if he gets too bitey. This is hard because wade already had a biting issue and seeing as he practically ate anything or anybody now it was more difficult.

"...aahh-"

"Wade- No."

"Ggr.. raahh"

"Wade! No! Bad."

"Mmmh..."

"Ill feed you tomarrow. Don't bite me mkay? You wanna hurt me?"

He shakes his head like a dog shaking off from a bath, or that ate a bee.

"Then don't bite me."

"Mmh? Mrah?"

"No. No kisses right now. Im still not even sure if thats safe.."

"Mmmh...🥺 ahrrah?"

"No, not even a tiny one."

"Mm...😔"

Until Logan grunts and pecks his hand. "There. Happy?"

"🙂‍↕️mh"

"Good."

Honestly Logan felt bad, pitited him. No matter what food he ate it wasnt enough substance to sustain him and sometimes Logan would wake up to find him eating a different zombie that made the mistake of trying to eat Logan.

You ever wake up in the morning, lose your zombie boyfriend, call for him only to walk outside and see him knawing on some poor chaps arm like a happy puppy who found a chicken leg? Logan has. Many times. And he wishes his phone would charge so he could take a picture of it but unfortunately theres no electricity in the post apocalypse world.

This being said Logan is like- THE perfect guy for apocalypse au because he can smell everything and hear anyone before they even get to you, he has better wilderness survival skills then anyone I know and he'll never NOT have a weapon on him because of his claws. The only downside is that he's tired easily, needs a lot of food, and would lowkey be withdrawing from his tabccao and alchool, therefore very moody.

"Stupid fucking apocalypse having to happen when im fucking alive!! Why can't I just NOT live through ONE major historical event! Is that too fucking much to ask? One damn decade where everything is fine and dandy and- WADE! Get your ass away from that!! It's radioactive!! For fucks sake!"

"Rahahrah?"

"NO!! You can not become Spiderman! That's not how that works!"

"Aawr..😔"

The whole thing is they're on a quest to find Laura and Gabby, because when everything went to shit, they were on a cabin trip and now Logans brain is itching because he dosn't know where his babies are and its driving him insane. Once he finds them, they're gonna shack up somewhere with food and animals to hunt, and hes gonna make a little shed outside for Wade to sleep because he'll kill him if he bites one of the girls.

He dosnt care that much about himself really and he hates himself deep down for not being able to trust wade anymore but even wade dosnt trust wade, sometimes wandering off on purpose, staying about 30 feet away from him at all times, growling and giving Logan that glazed over look of unconsiousness. The only good thing about this, though, is after he removes himself from the idea of hurting Logan (because if logaj were to become infected - HA! Your all fucked. Utterly fucked. The whole humanoid species would go extinct because he'd kill anything that moved) he feels more trusting of him and it's not uncommon for them to hug after either. Afterall Wade- Some how???- is still wade and is very affectionate and sensitive when its not returned.

This whole thing also makes him think worse about himself, kicking reflective objects or staring at himself in a shop window in utter shock and disgust with a face of 'thats me..?' While logans raiding the place for supplies.

Did you know zombies can cry? Well, Wade could. Not a lot, only able to get a bit of liquid from dehydration, but sometimes Logan will catch him just... sitting there.. crying. Upset with himself for being bit. Upset with himself for trying to bite logan all the time. Upset at how ugly he is. Upset that he's starving all the time. Upset that he can't even talk to anyone, and Logan just has to guess what he's saying 90% of the time. Bro is literally

When they DO find Laura and Gabby, the girls are doing great. Laura was going to blow wades head off until Gabby ran in the shot, hugging him instantly, only to be ripped away.

"Of course my dad is the weirdo married to a zombie." Laura grunts, but is secrelty happy that wade is still 'alive'

Gabby, being as young as she is, thinks it's so SICK that her dad is a zombie now, giggling when he talks to her and holding his hand. She's not allowed near him for long, and not at all by herself, but Gabby bassically becomes Wades number one supporter, defending him when he messes up and snaps at laura.

"He's just hungry!! He's not bad! It's not bad to be hungry!" She'll say. "You wouldn't kill me if I was hungry.." she tells her bigger, more survival oriented sister whos suggested putting wade out of his misery, for his own sake. "I tried that... he found me again 3 days later." Logan tells her with a pang in his chest. It had taken everything in him to kill him the first time, and sobbed himself to sleep the next 2 days. By the third when he noticed Wade following him from a distance he couldn't believe it.

Not even the apocalypse could keep them away from each other..

[qqueenofhades]

WOW that ivan proposal was everything 🥺🥺🥺 him being like, “it’s exile or me” and then immediately being like nvm its actually me AND exile, him just being like fuck it and doing a spontaneous proposal in his gym clothes, and the moment when he scooted forward and buried his head in fedyor’s stomach got me because he seemed so scared. ugh he’s so far gone on fedyor. im so weak for how precious they are in your modern au. your writing kills me, thank you for your service

while we are using fictional characters to ignore all our real world problems (which 1 — good luck on your interview!!!!!! And 2 — im here to provide enablement for my hcs to ignore real life), here’s some random questions for you about them in phantom! verse — did they just have like a court marriage or did they like actually plan something more? do they still keep in touch with fedyor or ivan’s family? are there any hcs you have for them that you’re like screaming about but don’t fit into phantom/any of the asks so far? (Also feel free to ignore any of these if you address it in your fic!)

It's like Ivan, oh honey, did you really think you were fooling ANYONE when you tried the "rah rah choose me or exile!!!" Because he felt terrible about it the instant he said it, panicked, couldn't think how to take it back, and then spent the next week in a total state of Oh My God I've Ruined Everything. Because as he says, he's willing to go pretty much anywhere (even America, ew) as long as it means that he can be with Fedyor. And yes, I likewise had the Feelings about him just being like fuck it I can't wait, proposing in his gym clothes, and kneeling in front of Fedyor and burying his face into his stomach because he can't possibly contemplate the idea of losing him. Even if it means going way way WAY out of his comfort zone and everything he has ever known, because it's easy when it comes down to it.

Anyway. Yes. I love them.

As for the phantomverse questions, they got legally married soon after they arrived in New York and dealt with the various paperwork/asylum stuff, and it was just a quiet courthouse thing. This is where they first met high-powered Manhattan lawyer, son of murdered Russian oligarch Pyotr, Nikolai Lantsov, who will also be appearing in PEL. Nikolai helped them get their legal papers and their right to remain and introduced them to the Russian emigre community in Brighton Beach, which was where they settled down. They haven't had any more of a wedding ceremony than that, because they are still holding out hope (however vainly) that they can one day return to Russia and do it properly with their friends and chosen family.

On that note, they're still in sporadic contact with Fedyor's birth family. His parents know about his sexuality and that he's married to Ivan, and they're not that thrilled, but they've gotten to the place of grudging acceptance. Sometimes Fedyor's mom, Lyudmila, pulls out the "here's how you giving me grandchildren can still win" conversation, which mortifies him, but he also is touched by it, because that means she's at least accepting his life as it is. Fedyor has an older sister, Katerina, who is also generally supportive, and they email each other occasionally. His dad mostly just tries to pretend that the whole living in America/married to a man situation doesn't exist, which is hard for Fedyor, but Mikhail is secretly proud of Fedyor for his activist work and his bravery, and has resisted pressure from the extended family to disown him. Fedyor's parents sometimes send money and every once in a blue moon they will talk on the phone. Lyudmila does keep trying to convince him to move back to Russia, but Fedyor won't agree.

Unfortunately, they don't have any contact with Ivan's birth family. Part of the reason he changed his last name to Kaminsky when they got married was to be a traditional family unit, and to symbolize the break from his past and the stuff he went through with his father and brothers, who were.... not in the least understanding of the gay thing, alas. Ivan left Krasnoyarsk at least in part to get away from his oldest brother (he has four, and no sisters) who was threatening the whole "we'll show you what we do to queers around here" routine. So no, Ivan and Fedyor don't talk to them at all, but they have lots of friends in Brooklyn now (or really, Fedyor has friends that Ivan more or less tolerates) and they're happy there.

Fedyor likes to go out in New York City and see the wider world and his friends and so forth, while Ivan (who still doesn't speak much English since pretty much everyone in Brighton Beach can speak Russian) is happier staying close to home. He patiently accompanies Fedyor to whatever he wants to do, as ever, but he, in true Ivan fashion, still has about .0001 patience for anyone who isn't Fedyor. They have spent ages cleaning out and renovating their apartment after getting it from the Russian spinster hoarder who lived there for fifty years and never threw anything away, and it's now getting pretty nice. They have a rooftop terrace that looks over the sea, for when they don't feel like going down to the beach (though they like that too). They like the fact that Brighton Beach feels like Russia but that they can sit on the beach with Fedyor in Ivan's lap and watch the sun go down, they can openly hold hands on the street, and go to NYC Pride. (Yes, Fedyor dragged Ivan there; yes, Ivan was Grumpy Cat the whole time but secretly loved it; yes, he insisted all photos be destroyed.)

[yoshimickster]

RWBY Volume 6 Episodes 12/13 “Seeing Red” and “Our Way” Micksterecaps: TWO RECAPS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE!

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO doggie, youse KNOW I can’t wait to talk about the finale, so you get not one but TWO recaps! Also doing the same thing with Gen:Lock as they released the first two eps of that on the same day-EITHER WAY LET’S GET TO DANCIN’!

THE EP STARTS OFF WITH-

-the ARGUS MILITARY-watching their boss waste military hardware, while being away from their FREAKING STATIONS-where a threat the Colossus was MADE to fight is coming close to the city. ALL WHILE RUBY-

-HANGS-in there? EH?! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEH?!

After a nice little cliff climb, Oscar informs the team that the shields go down EVERY time Cordo fires missiles, which is the time to STRIKE! Ruby while on board-DOES-point out the difficulty of it though.

Ruby:-I’d have to be practically staring down the barrel of her canon.

FORESHADOWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!

Ruby than jumps onto their legitimately stolen airship, while Maria does what she does best-

Maria: HEY CORDO-your mother wears NON-combat boots!

Cordo: SHUT UP I HAVE ALL THE MISSILES!

SADLY-though-

-sheeeeeeeeeeee catches on.

*BANG*

*TING*

*CLOSE*

Cordo: SURELY you know Atlas perfected missile launcher door quick-closing technology!

Ruby: BITCH YOU GOT LUCKY AND YOU KNOW IT!

Cordo: FUCK YOU I HAVE A LIGHTNING CANON!

OOH-and she WINGS them even, DAMN that’s gotta smart!

OOH-spoke too soon, Maria got the worst of it! MAN-that’s gotta sting.

Looks like its up to farmboy to SAVE THE DA-

*CRASH*

...EH-he’s a 14 year old farmboy, did the best he could with no fly knowledge or help (WINK).

See that? A NICE clean crash, Launchpad McQuack would be proud!

Ruby realizing how fucked things are, decides to pull a make or break move-RIGHT BEFORE-this scene-

Qrow: Ruby, stop!

Ruby: I need you, to trust me.

And he then lets go of her hand. Its a small yet powerful scene, and I really loved it, just wanted to point that out.

Ruby then makes a passionate speech to Cordo about how they only stole from her because she gave them no choice, especially since their supposed to be on the same side, and hopes she listens to reason.

Cordo: Hm....

Cordo:...NAH-I’ll just kill you.

CAROLINE CORDOVIN FOLKS-the defi-NITION of excessive force!

But does THAT scare Rubelubes?!

FUCK NO-she dashes herself RIGHT in there! SEE-foreshadowing!

She sees the target-

-LINES up the shot-

-while Cordo reevaluates recent life choices-

-gives herself a nice SNIPER breath-

-SHOOTS THAT FUCKER-and with-in a SECOND-

-PETALS HERSELF AWAY! Ace huntress right here! ALL right before-

-THAT FUCKER GETS CRYSTALIZED-good on you Ruby!

OOH-still got that aftershock crackle though! Thankfully Weiss uses her reverse gravity glyphs to slow her down ‘cause she’s a GOOD girlfriend, either figuratively OR literally(Bumblebee is canon fo sho, but STILL not sure on Iceflower, BUT still hopeful).

Qrow then catches her, and Ruby smugly replies with-

Ruby: ...toldja.

Oh Ruby, you SASS!

End the scene with a bit of Maria sass-

Maria: OH-don’t tell me I MISSED it!

AND CUT TO OUR FAVORITE NEW POWER COUPLE!

7:25

BEHOLD the holding of the hands, FEEL the gay energy it creates, while pissing off Blake’s creepy predatory ex, who was probably a creepy senior like Daniel Tosh when they started dating and needs to die(WINK).

Blake then says she and Yang are gonna KICK HIS ASS, because she made a promise to stick with the people she cares about-PROMPTING ADAM-to say this-

Adam: Y’know, she made a promise to me once, that she’d always be at MY side. HA-and look how well she’s kept it.

Your ex likes girls dude, GET OVER IT!

Either way it prompts Yang to say THIS badassery:

Yang: Did she make that promise to you? Or to the person you were PRETENDING to be?

Fuck yes. Either way, time for talk is over-ITS ACTION SCENE TIME-

-OOH-start out with a splitscreen, NICE!

Blake and Yang keep hitting him from both sides-

-and uses her shot-gauntlets to get distance, as a STRATEGIST does!

Blake goes in on the offensive, but ADAM ATTACKS-

-HER SHADOW-because he keeps forgetting how her semblance works like the dirty bitch he is!

Blake somersaults over him-

-KICKS-him back in the best pic I could get, because it happens in like a MICROSECOND-

-to a Yang Xiao Long that’s RARING to go with her shaunt-gauntlets-

-AND YANG KNOCKS HIM BACK...trust me, she did, this fight has a LOT of quick action and getting the pics I want is a nightmare.

The battle is INTENSE y’all, either way Blake gets ENOUGH distance-

-to get her partially broken gunsword back-

-tttttttttttthrows it over to fuckface magee-

-OOH-but he blocks it, no goal for you Blake-BUT-

-YANG GETS CONTROL OF THE BLADE-they may just make this count-

-she flings her over withe classic “infinitely stretchy band of stretchiness” to INITIATE-

-BATTLE CLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH-but WAIT-

-OOH-knock back on both sides-

-Adam lands on his feet while Blake-

-OOH-she got crackle folks, we’re nearing the endgame (copyright Marvel studios...nah just kidding, RWBY’s a DC property). It ALSO almost knocks her off the cliff-

...I feel there’s a joke about a cat poster I can make here, but I’m not sure if right now is the right time to say it.

Yang is of course READY to save her-

-WHILE giving Adam an obvious deathglare for obvious reasons(MURDER HIM).

SADLY though Adam uses his greatest power of all-

Adam: MOMENT of truth Yang, do you think your faster than you were at Beacon?

*GASP*

EMOTIONAL manipulation( MURDER HIM, MURDER HIM). ALSO-sorry for the arrows, they wouldn’t go away and I couldn’t edit them out without ruining the gravitas of the shot.

Then a punch, A KICK, Yang’s on the ropes, will her aura hold out? CAN BLAKE HANG ON?!

OOH-apparently she can! MAN-the endurance these young women had, she lost a forcefield and now she’s climbing a MOUNTAIN, made of STEEL that one!

Adam than acts like the most OBVIOUS psycho-ex ever-

Adam: What does she even SEE in you?!

Yang: A person who doesn’t let their psychological baggage be an excuse to be an abuser!

Blake: Someone in my own age group who isn’t a creep who peaked his senior year of High school!

Adam: YOU SHUT UP I’M A PERFECT SUNFLOWER!

Adam then uses MOONSLASH on Yang but if you don’t know our girl-

Yang: Gotcha.

-you’d know it’d be NOT very effective y’all-SUPER SAYAIN YANG ACTIVATE!

FUCK YEAH-punch him OUT!

-AND HE GOT THE CRCKLE Y’ALL-its aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallmost over!

OOH-but so does Yang, BUT she’s got his sword so ADVANTAGE Bumbleby!

EITHER WAY-everyone’s running on fumes, its SUDDEN DEATH SMASH TIME Y’ALL!

And dear lord...its amazing-

-Yang THROWS that shit off a cliff-

-Adam goes after it-

Blake: SHURIYUKEN!

Yang: Wait I saw you climb UP the mountain, how’d you get back there-

Blake: WHATEVER-let’s kill this guy!

She sees the broken sword at her feet-

-she grabs ONE half-

-Yang graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabs the other-

Yang: RAH!

Blake: EYAH!

YANG/BLAKE USED DOUBLE STRIKE-

Adam:...oh-

*SPLASH*

-and its SUPER effective-CRITICAL HIT! RPG BUZZWORDS! AND THEN BUMBLEBY-

-gives themselves a tender cry scene while both promise to be there for each other. DAMN that was a fight scene, emotion, action, DEATH, I love this show!

Blake: *SNIFF* I just really really-REALLY-hope he stays dead!

Yang: Don’t worry, he can’t get maiden powers so he’s gone for good.

Blake: I love you babe.

Yang: I love you to.

A THEN CUT TO-

-CORDO-dealing with the consequences of her actions in MORE ways than one!

Nubuck: HEY UH M’AM-

-Godzillallegory is on the horizon- 

- and it brought a BUNCH of friends, we could REALLY use the giant Collossus mech made SPECIFICALLY for fighting giant Grimm!

Cordo:...I am SO fired.

AND THAT’S ep 12, SEE YOU...in 2 SECONDS for the next Micksterecap as this is a DOUBLE feature!

The FINALE starts off WITH-

-with a VERY nice airship! Look at that woodwork, now THAT is craftsmanship! The ship opens TO REVEAL-

-NEO-and her SNAZZY new look! Look at that jacket, just FULL of snazz! SPEAKING OF SNAZZYNESS-

-HOT DAMN-I never thought wearing a cape the wrong way could look GOOD but Cinder proved me wrong! After the minor fashion show-ITS SHIP SHIFTING TIME!

Cinder:(DAMN I am im-PRESSED by this, SO glad we’re friends now!)

We get it Neo, your semblance is OP, QUIT SHOWIN’ OFF!

Either way, our girls are looking fly as hell and are READY to fight Team FWBYQOMJNR....NEXT volume. Yeah, turns out it was one of THOSE build-ups where its for next season. I know, I’m pissed of too.

But enough about that-A CUT TO-

GOJIRA-slowly making his way to Tokyo bay to REEK ATOMIC TERROR!

This is the time when one could REALLY use a giant robot with a laser canon-

-if not for the fact that a senile old racist wasted it on minor offenders like a crazy person.

After the team realizes that they had a SLIGHT hand in ruining Argus’ defenses against a kaiju level threat, they decide to FLY OFF! Right before CORDOVIN-

“This is YOUR fault, your fault....

....your...fault”.

-ADMITS her own guilt in this to herself! Didn’t expect character development from her, NOW all she has to do is apologize to Blake for casual racism and it’ll be AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL good!

MEANWHILE-on the ship-

-Blake apologizes for her psycho Ex stalking them, ALL while only her, Yang, Nora and Maria(off panel) are sitting down. YOU ARE IN A PLANE-I do not believe that they are hogging all the seats!

Despite the obvious chaos, Maria basically suggests this-

Maria: Okay...what if we just BAIL?!

Everyone:...

Maria:...YEAH I know, gotta be superheroes and what-not, I just REALLY want Cordo to die.

They then all decide to get up close and personal with the thing, Ren and Jaune plan to do their combo move a.k.a. the ONLY semblance Jaune will boost this season-BUT THEN-the monster resurfaces!

*RESIN COATED GLOVE AGAINST A BASS GUITAR!*

Look it up bitches. Its ALSO at this point that Mrs.Terra Cotta-Arc-

-regrets recent life choices that inadvertently lead to her brother in-law and his entourage to destroying Argus’s last defense...also what’s up with that girl in the background? The one with the diamond logo and the bare mid-riff? She a superhero or something? If so...GET TO WORK-there’s a monster to fight!

AW-she’s there for her family and...I’m sorry I just can’t get over that background character’s design, I mean LOOK AT HER-does she have ANY hips to speak of?! I know its just a background character, but STILL bad design.

BUT LUCKILY FOR ARGUS-

-THE SHIELDS GO UP-which I’m sure won’t be damaged at all!

SEE-look at that, COMPLETELY impenetrable!

BAM-even blocks the beast’s elemental attack, NOTHING can break this shie-

*BOOM*

...w...WAIT A MINUTE-the SHIELDS are impenetrable but the pylons MANAGING the shields AREN’T?! That is...a HUGE design flaw, DAMMIT CORDOVIN, this is what you get for spending your defense budget on your Gundam hobby!

This is when everybody just wants to get the HELL out of there but Ruby calls it in-

Ruby: EVERYBODY-me and my scrappy team of rogues is gonna take on that beast, we JUST need you to back us up!

Nubuck: UH-no thank you, we’re nameless soldiers in a fantasy story, WE KNOW what happens to us in this situation!

Either way Ruby is ready to use her magical laser eyes to slow down the beast, by her OWN dang self!

Ruby: Fine, we’ll do it alone if we have to.

Ruby: Let me repeat, I-A SIXTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL-am going to fight a monster ALL by myself...with NO military support...alone.

Look at Cordo, see the GUILT emanating from her!

Either way the plan is set-SUPER TEAMWORK COMBO-

-EMOTION MASK TIMES TWO! Seriously, the ONLY semblance he enhances this season.

They then fly undetected through the chaos while ONE plane gets hit! Exactly ONE...no lie, maybe this army isn’t as bad as I thought if only one plane got knocked down so far.

After just NARROWLY avoiding the blast-

-the beast takes out the SECOND barrier due to the worst design flaw in the world-

-DESTROYING THE TOP TO EXACTLY ONE BUILDING! DAMN-lucky Argus, this is a generally destruction free monster attack!

OOOH-but also RIGHT at the moment Ren and Jaune get crackle, CLOAKS DOWN PEOPLE-cloak is DOWN!

But have no fear-OUR LEADER HAS A PLAN!

Weiss:...giant bee?

Ruby: GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIANT BEE!

Yang: You rang?

Blake: Oh YOU!

Nora and Yang give cover fire while Blake just...stands there, because her weapon broke. Hey, sometimes your ex smashes your gun-sword in half, it happens.

SEE BLAKE-you just upgraded yourself to Weiss...holder, way to seize the initiative and HOLD THAT WEISS!

Ruby: I know this is stressful but riding a giant bee is still FREAKING AWESOME!

Nora: I CALL NEXT!

Yang: Aw man, I wanted to fly next.

Qrow: QUIT YAMMERING AND KEEP SHOOTING!

Rubalubes than squares up with the great beast and then-

-STARTS A CLIP SHOW TO PSYCHE HER POWERS UP! She ALSO-

-throws that PESKY earpiece RIGHT into the ocean...because turning it OFF is impossible apparently(freakin’ Atlas tech, TOO many design flaws). Either way-CLIP SHOW TIME!

What NICE memories, nothing that would trigger feelings of doubt which would mess with her hea-

SHIT-memories of the dead almost girlfriend-SHIFT FOCUS!

YES-memories of the vomit boy-FOCUS ON THAT!

Nooooooooooooooooooo-

-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

Focus focus focus FOCUS!

NOT ON THAT!

NOR THAT!

Stay calm, STAY calm-

-AND she’s boned.

Ruby: DAMMIT silver eyes, WORK WHEN I WANT YOU TO WORK!

The beast is in her sights, her powers aren’t working, only ONE thing that can save her now!

Ruby: JINN!

*SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW*

Yang: Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuubyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

DEUS EX MACHINA-because TELEVISION! Also really wish I could show the illusion of time slowing down better in simple pictures

Pouty Jinn is pouty. Either way she tells her that she’ll only allow her to summon her this this ONE time without asking a question.

Jinn: I must admit, this WAS clever.

Ruby: Heh, yeah, to be FAIR I wasn’t sure if you ACTUALLY slowed down time, or if that was like a “Bill Cipher” style illusion, but yeah I’ll have a real question next time.

Either way-CLIP SHOW RESTART!

Time re-starting is ALSO hard to show with still pictures.

*WAVES MOVE SLIGHTLY FASTER*

You enjoying this so far? You COULD be re-watching the show instead of a slow clip-show of it but O-kay!

Yes, GOOD memories of Pyrrha, GOOD ones!

*MORE SUBTLE TIME RESTARTING*

OH YEAH-she’s still in front of a monster! DAMN-that’s a good timestop, full on ZA WARUDO!

That’s right, good memory of Penny, DON’T PSYCHE OUT!

And just when you thought they weren’t gonna hit us with a feelsbomb-

SUMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER! ALSO-confirmation that Ruby knew what her mom looked like, I wasn’t sure as she died when Rubes was REALLY yong, either way HUZZAH! ALSO-this shot-

Summer’s eyes-

RUBY’S EEYS!

“THERE’S A LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT THERE TO SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE-

- “ AND ITS POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWER IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!”

Bless you Casey Williams, BLESS you!

Look at the well designed background characters being showed off by Rooster Teeth, THEY ARE PLEASED! Also, look at that glasses wearing mother fucker in the purple jacket, he a WIZARD or something? We coulda used a WIZARD y’know, just saying.

Nubuck1: YEAH-that girl we refused to help stopped the beast!

Nubuck2:...are we terrible at our jobs?

Nubuck3: Just shut up and keep cheering!

Ruby then marvels at the site of a major city that SURVIVED a kaiju-class Grimm attack for once-BUT ALL IS NOT WELL-

*CRACKLE CRACKLE*

*ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR!*

Ruby: DAMMIT-I meant to fire DISINTEGRATING beams, not FREEZING!

Maria: I now, its LITERALLY the most fickle super power.

But worry not-FOR ALL IS NOT LOST!

Cordo: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE I COME, TO SAVE THE DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Ruby:...okay, thanks for the help, but HOW did you rip your mech’s arm off?

Cordo: HM?! Oh nothing fancy-

Cordo: JUST A BAD ASS DRILL THAT I WILL USE TO PIERCE HEAVEN!

Ruby:...why the HELL didn’t you use that on us before?

Cordo: Honestly I forgot it was there...as well as SEVERAL functions on this mech. Really I shouldn’t be in charge of anything.

Either way-

-she drills the FUCK out of that thing! KILL IT! KILL IT WITH SPINNING!

Man, that’s some NICE dusting! 

Once again, the background characters are pleased, including lady hipless over there! Oh lady hipless, I will NEVER understand you.

And even 2/3rds of the Cotta-Arc household are completely enjoying it, while Terra is REALLY hoping this mess won’t come back to her.

Ruby then thanks AND apologizes to Cordo because she’s a NICE young lady, while Cordo gives her team the go ahead to fly out tho Atlas. DOESN’T make up for her mean comment to Blake, BUT progress is progress.

A THEN CUT TO-

-BEAUTIFULLY PAINTED CLOUDS! MAN this show loves to show off and I LOVE IT!

INSIDE the ship-

Ruby’s mentors give her WELL deserved props and Qrow celebrates BY-

-NOT drinking! GOOD ON YOU Qrow, PROGRESS!

D’aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw.

The mentors than have a NICE quick moment.

Maria: For a depressed drunk, you make a great uncle and huntsman.

Qrow: That is...LITERALLY the best compliment you can give me.

Speaking of sweet moments-

FUCK YEAH-hand holding! Now let them KISS dammit!

ALL WHILE-

-RUBY deflects praise like a body does, EVEN points out how Oscar landed a clean crash...OR DID HE?!

Oscar: I...DIDN’T land the plane on my own.

YUP-Ozpin helped him, in a scene that’s BASICALLY this-

Oz: The force Oscar, USE the force!

The team briefly discuss the fact that their creepy wizard principal is most DEFINITELY spying on them before Qrow points out-

THE UNIVERSITY OF CAROLINA IN THE SK-I mean-THE CITY OF ATLAS! Anyone...old enough to get that reference? Scott Pilgrim? Its a story about a guy who dates a 17 year old, dumps her for someone cooler, and we’re supposed to see him as the hero? WEIRDLY good read despite the what the synopsis will make you believe.

We also briefly see-

-THE UNDERCITY OF MANTLE...which...looks like its near an active volcano I think! NO WAIT I see, that’s where the floating city came from...still feel BAD for the poor people of Mantle though.

Either way, they get up there and EVERYTHING is fi-

-ZOOP military blockade, never mind. And we end the adventure of Team RWBYQOMJNR with a MYSTERIOUS line-

Voice: Manta 5-1, welcome home.

Oooooooh, Weiss is in TROUBLLLLLLLE!

And that’s it for them, credits start rolling-NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVERMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE- and then a we get a TEASER because Joss Whedon!

Mercury: I like being depressed in here, it makes me look DEEP!

Emerald also walks in to slightly foreshadow her defection from the Legion of Doom but notices how FREAKED he is...why?

Cause Salem’s making flying MONKEYS that’s why! We ALSO-get a Hazel cameo!

Hazel: There’s an old saying, if you want something done right-

-do it yourself.

WELL-team RWBY’s boned. EITHER WAY, a fantastic season, personally I feel episode 12 had better finale energy than episode 13, BUT outside of a malfunctioning force field still good. I’m also KINDA mad that Neo and Cinder, and pretty much EVERY member of Salem’s faction didn’t get many times to really shine, BUT there’s always next season! 

AND WITH THAT-I’l see you either next season of RWBY, or on my Gen:Lock recaps on MICKSTERECAP! Peace out folks.

[ase-trollplays]

-- liberatedRaptor [LR] began messaging naturesDisciple [ND] --

-- liberatedRaptor [LR] began messaging naturesDisciple [ND] --

LR: someone's pissed

ND: ✿h my fucking g✿d y✿u d✿nt even kn✿w

LR: what happened

ND: I'm still the biggest idi✿t ✿n this entire planet and I g✿t really cl✿se t✿ trusting s✿me✿ne I sh✿uldn't have

ND: AGAIN

ND: Because I'm a shitty judge ✿f character

ND: and it literally c✿uldn't have been m✿re ✿bvi✿us

ND: but FUCK ME I STILL MADE THE EXACT SAME MISTAKE AGAIN

ND: AND I'M JUST

LR: but you realized before you got hurt didnt you?

ND: YEAH I GUESS???

ND: But what if I hadn't!?

ND: What if I didn't realize I fucked up until it was t✿✿ late all ✿ver again??

LR: do i need to kick someone's ass

ND: yeah mine because i apparently didn't learn shit

ND: ✿r I can keep kicking my ✿wn ass and y✿u can kick the ✿ther guy's ass

LR: bRUH

ND: L✿✿K I'M JUST REALLY FUCKING ANGRY AT MYSELF RIGHT N✿W

LR: thats fine

LR: somehow thats how it be

ND: I just can't believe it happened again..

LR: rest in pieces............

ND: I need t✿ just never meet pe✿ple ✿n tr✿llian because apparently I'm a fucking magnet f✿r psych✿pathic freaks.

LR: do you think im a psychopath?

ND: N✿, but y✿u're different. I didn't meet y✿u ✿nline first.

ND: I

ND: I'm really scared, man.

ND: I want t✿ have friends, but I'm s✿ fucking scared I'll trust s✿me✿ne I sh✿uldn't

ND: And I'll have my entire life and everything I have and everything I am and everything I've ever kn✿wn ripped away again

ND: I can't g✿ thr✿ugh that a sec✿nd time

LR: be strong my guy

ND: I'm trying, but it's s✿ hard.

LR: do you actually want me to beat some ass

LR: cuz i will

LR: ill fuck someone UP

ND: It's fine.

ND: I mean, it's n✿t fine, but

ND: Shit, I d✿n't kn✿w.

ND: They said they d✿n't d✿ the t✿rture thing anym✿re, but I think that's bullshit.

ND: Pe✿ple like that never change.

ND: They say they will, but it's a lie.

LR: i think...

LR: people are capable of change

LR: i changed a lot.

ND: Even if they really haven't d✿ne anything in a while, it's pr✿bably just a c✿ver ✿r s✿mething. S✿✿ner ✿r later, they g✿ right back t✿ destr✿ying lives.

ND: Sure, a pers✿n can change, but a m✿nster isn't a pers✿n. They hurt and abused pe✿ple just because they c✿uld.

LR: listen Florah, im not defending Floren in any way because i hate them even more than you do but i think for your own sake you need to understand: people are definitely capable of change. who knows if Floren is a different person? i sure as fuck dont and i work with the asshole every night. but that doesnt rule out the possibility.

ND: Yeah, *pe✿ple* are capable ✿f changing, but I refuse t✿ think ✿f any✿ne wh✿ t✿rtures and abuses pe✿ple f✿r fun ✿r whatever gr✿ss thrill they get ✿ut ✿f it as a pers✿n.

ND: I can't give s✿me✿ne like that the benefit ✿f the d✿ubt.

ND: I just can't anym✿re.

ND: Because what if whatever g✿✿d they're d��ing d✿esn't stick? What if they g✿ right back t✿ being a sadistic freak?

ND: What if they're llying ab✿ut all ✿f it??

ND: It's ✿ne thing if they did that shit because they didn't have a ch✿ice ✿r s✿mething, but they did. They didn't have t✿ d✿ what they did t✿ pe✿ple, but they still did it just because they wanted t✿.

ND: I can't f✿rgive that.

LR: well alright

LR: just dont fault me for still associating with Floren.

ND: fine.

ND: Just pr✿mise that if they g✿ back t✿ t✿rturing pe✿ple, y✿u'll st✿p them.

LR: ill do a whole lot more than that

ND: G✿✿d.

ND: En✿ugh ab✿ut that creep. I d✿n't want t✿ stay upset f✿r t✿✿ l✿ng ✿r things will start getting really messed up.

LR: yeah thats probably the best idea

ND: D✿ y✿u still have that fl✿wercr✿wn I gave y✿u f✿r y✿ur wriggling day?

LR: yeah i still have it. some of the flowers started to wilt a bit so i frosted them.......

ND: Aw, I was afraid that w✿uld happen. :( That was ✿ne ✿f my first times trying s✿mething like that.

ND: H✿w l✿ng did they stay pretty bef✿re y✿u had t✿ fr✿st them?

LR: couple months

LR: i have it sitting up on my dresser in my room :v

ND: That's g✿✿d. I'm glad the enchantment lasted a c✿uple ✿f m✿nths instead ✿f wearing ✿ff after like a c✿uple ✿f weeks ✿r s✿mething.

ND: S✿rry that's all I gave y✿u, th✿ugh. C✿mpared t✿ every✿ne else, I feel like I cheated y✿u.

LR: no its ok! it was my first actual wriggling day so like im actually really grateful i got anything

ND: ✿h man i just realized

ND: This sweep will be my first wriggling day as Fl✿rah.

LR: HOLY SHIT

ND: I haven't celebrated it in sweeps; I didn't even remember it until half a sweep ag✿

LR: we gotta throw the biggest fuckin shindig

ND: ✿h g✿d I d✿n't even kn✿w what we'd d✿ ✿r wh✿ w✿uld even c✿me

LR: i would come

ND: I dunn✿ if I wanna have any kind ✿f a party. I ✿nly have like three pe✿ple I'm actually c✿mf✿rtable ar✿und including my m✿irail.

LR: then dont have a party

LR: ohhhh you could have like a special dinner with just your buds

LR: and some buds B^)

ND: Buds with buds. B) S✿unds like fun.

LR: HELLS YEAH

ND: If y✿u bring y✿ur fl✿wer cr✿wn, I can try t✿ revive it

LR: do flowers revive after theyve been frozen?

ND: N✿, n✿t really, but I c✿uld still give it a try if y✿u want. If it w✿rks, maybe they'll last l✿nger than bef✿re.

LR: ZOMBIE FLOWERS

LR: id be so down

LR: also maybe you can teach me how to do flower crowns

ND: ✿h my g✿d they w✿uld t✿tally be z✿mbie fl✿wers! XD I didn't even think ✿f it like that, but that t✿tally w✿rks

ND: And I can t✿tally teach y✿u h✿w t✿ make fl✿wer cr✿wns. :) They're super easy ✿nce y✿u get the hang ✿f it

LR: i bet theyre significantly easier when you have the ability to just make flowers grow and shit

ND: Yeah, that helps, t✿✿. :P Especially since I can regr✿w whatever we use.

ND: Infinite fl✿wers

LR: so if i fuck up repeatedly itll be okay

ND: Yeah, but they might bec✿me scared ✿f y✿u if y✿u mangle t✿✿ many.

ND: Anyways, I need t✿ head ✿ff. Thanks f✿r talking t✿ me.

-- naturesDisciple [ND] stopped messaging liberatedRaptor [LR] --