#R.E. Lowe
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b-blushes · 5 months ago
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i did everything WAOW! (: also watered my garden and dumped a bucket of rainwater into the bog garden. perhaps now i am finally learning.... that thursdays are doable...... OH ALSO had a positive drs appt! nice!
THURSDAY QUEST! once again go to the dr and drop in for errands on the way home if i'm not totally wiped. then do thursday chores which every time i feel are too big to do but in fact are manageable for real and much less intimidating when i just get started. bonus would be round 2 of ordering wedding outfit attempts. and i gotta order groceries which is a wednesday chore but for various reasons i did not do today. LET'S HAVE A NICE DAY! I CAN DO IT....... YOU CAN DO IT....... WE CAN DO IT...............!
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danse--macabre · 9 months ago
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unpopular astarion headcanons r.e. mirrors and reflections:
while I love the memes around this, I don't think, unless you had a particularly charismatic tav/durge, the whole party would draw him / contribute to some kind of spell where he could see his reflection. Obviously there's room for difference given how many routes your playthrough can take, but generally: he's not universally loved in the same way Karlach is, he's not the heart of the party, he's mostly clinging to the edge of it (and that's fine!)
I think showing him his reflection would impact him deeply and therefore if it is done at the wrong time/place, he'd actually resent the person who did it. this is because you're making him appear vulnerable.
e.g. if the venue is too public, if the others could see, he'd dislike the fact that others can see a moment of vulnerability
alternatively: if your approval with astarion is too low, he'd automatically distrust it / question your motives. this is someone who simply does not believe that people will be kind unprompted to strangers (because doing so violates his worldview and in some ways makes his abuse feel crueller -- if no one cares, there's a logic to what happened to him, at least)
the more permanent the method, the more effort put in, the more likely he is to have mixed/negative feelings towards it. a sketch is a kindness, but not one that requires a great sacrifice or planning - it's easy to dismiss as a fleeting gesture (while he will keep it, obviously, to look at, because he's not that willing to believe his own bullshit).
in contrast, if a permanent method of showing his reflection was given - e.g. a charmed mirror that casts a spell - I think astarion, with a high approval PC, would feel on some level obligated to pay that 'debt' back. astarion strikes me as someone who distrusts thoughtful, non-flippant gifts because again, he's used to transactional relationships.
I also think it might strike at an insecurity: the knowledge that astarion lacks autonomy/independence to deal with his own issues by himself, and, with some bitterness, is dependent on the PC to help him. if you give astarion an enchanted mirror, he, on some level, feels he is dependent on your magic and your supply of magical items to gain access to an element of his humanity. that doesn't entirely sit comfortably with him.
the "best" way to deal with this? let astarion figure out how to handle this himself. for example: gifting him a 'mirror image' spell scroll or something similar. give him time to study the scroll and he'll find a way to cast that spell himself. mechanically, astarion isn't a wizard, but narratively, his default class is arcane trickster, he has access to magic, I don't think it is really that much of a stretch to believe he could achieve that. in general, I think handing astarion the tools to achieve his own goals by himself will be more appreciated than handing that to him on a plate.
however! counterargument to consider: it may be more valuable in the long run to confront astarion's fear of dependence and the sense of reliance that exists particularly in a tav run, where you the PC have 'saved' him without needing to be saved in return. he needs to realise that the PC isn't expecting anything in return for friendship/romance.
either way, i think showing astarion his reflection is going to be more fraught than one might expect - a generous gift, obviously, he will take (he's been poor and starving enough not to turn it down), but there might be some tension beneath any show of gratitude your receive (or he might feign disinterest, if approval/trust is low enough!)
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what-in-the-gloobie-glob · 5 months ago
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R.e. hairy forest man soap with hairy ass, i would love any thoughts you have on how absolutely crazy soap's body hair drives ghost. thinking like that one post about how really hairy dudes can't even hide it, even if they tried, because the hair just crawls up their necks, onto their hands, down their knuckles, but soap doesn't even TRY. just constantly has the carpet on display, and by god ghost is about to become cleopatra the way he's wrapping himself in it.
-definitely not projeting as a fellow large blonde wife with fat titties
Oh GOD
Also.... don't peep me posting in the height of daylight 🫣🫣
Soap who goes on morning runs around the base early in the morning when dew still sicks to the grass and fog hands low on the ground. Soap who works up a sweat and shucks his shirt easily enough.
Ghost who goes with him just to see dark hair matted with sweat. Ghost who watches beads of sweat slide down the hair on his chest until it catches on a dry patch on his tummy
Soap who likes to work up a nice sweat in the gym wearing leggings and a loose muscle tee
Ghost who salivates at the sight of a hairy tit that pokes out from the arm gap. Who wants to bite and lick and nip the flesh. Who wants to nose into the hair and lave his tongue all over.
Ghost who almost gets distracted petting over his ass when they're fucking just because he likes the feel. Ghost who likes to run his fingers through the hair between soap's thighs, surrounding his balls when they fuck just because he can.
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emptyapartments · 5 months ago
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no but you’re so right r.e. twinkification of soap. And I do like ghostsoap! That man is hairy as hell, tall, and muscular, what are some people doing with him. I’ve legit seen fics where he can’t even stand up to ghost in a fight, or can’t lift half the amount of weight, and I’m like ?????? They are on the same fuckin squad???? Why would soap be weak and low key incompetent????
anyway. cod fandom (and like every other fandom tbh) please escape from the idea that the bigger character is a brute/top/dom/way stronger and that the smaller character is a twink/bottom/sub/puny. I’m tired.
solution is theyre both tops and should fight like dogs for it. send tweet.
but genuinely anon youre so right, i think theres this specific thing in gay ships where people tend to kind of hetero-ify it, if that makes any sense? stereotypically, of course. like idk guys there doesnt have to be a twinkified tiny character and a big strong dom character they can just be people. and 95% of the time its just so mischaracterised. anyways, tysm for the ask and im very sorry if this is incomprehensible its hours after my self given bedtime
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dustedmagazine · 8 months ago
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Listed: R.E. Seraphin
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Whether kicking out raucous, throaty garage jams with Impediments a decade ago, or exploring power-poppier terrain with Talkies and more recently under his own initials, Ray Seraphin tells his stories in the radiance just above the fuzz. Sung low and hoarse, his lyrics blink in and out of reality, propelled by the instruments’ lively buzz and echo. Ruptured by an explosive guitar lead here or punctuated by a tidy, melodic bass riff there, this music doesn’t sit still. It’s familiar but captivating, a potent rock and roll fusion of lo-fi attitude and sweeping hit-record moves. Alex Johnson called his latest release, Fool’s Mate, “dynamic and buoyant… a bright, powerful album with lurid desperation creeping in from the edges.”
Here are 10 of Seraphin’s formative records, books, and movies:
Outrageous Cherry — Out There in the Dark
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When I was 17, my bandmate’s partner loaned this CD to me and I held onto it for a number of years before she was able to pry it back. I loved the pairing of Matthew Smith’s arch wordplay and Larry Ray’s mercurial guitar work. They are one of the classic vocalist-guitarist duos to me — up there with Bowie-Ronson, Ferry-Manzanera, Rollins-Ginn. All of their albums are great. Not to sound trite but they really should be better known!
Ralph Bakshi — Wizards
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When I was fired from my first job at Arinell’s Pizza, the manager gave me a 1/2 pint of Ancient Age, a CD copy of Butthole Surfers’ Independent Worm Saloon, and a VHS copy of Wizards as my severance package. He proceeded to drink the whiskey with me (at 9am) but, mercifully, stopped short of insisting we watch Wizards together. The film is lifted into classic status by Bakshi’s signature crude and wild animation style despite a fairly ho-hum future-fantasy plot. Still visually arresting.
John Barth — The End of the Road
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I was an English literature major in college and, because I fancied myself a Serious Person, I read a lot of books I didn’t understand in my extracurricular time. I’ve read a few of John Barth’s more celebrated, metaphysical works but this early, "realistic" story is the one that stuck with me. There’s a bleakness and ugliness to the book that feels really transgressive — albeit not in an edgy, cornball way. Plus, as someone who probably suffers from some form of executive dysfunction, I somewhat relate to the protagonist Jake’s crisis of self.
The Real Kids — Outta Place
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Over the years, my music has largely been referred to as power pop. I chafe against the term a little bit but can't say I’m entirely allergic to it. The Real Kids likely represent my first real interest in the genre. Their self-titled album is their best, most complete work; however, I more frequently listen to their New Rose-era.
Flamin’ Groovies — “Whiskey Woman”
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Growing up, the Flamin’ Groovies were the consummate rock group. They represented band-ness to me in a way few others did. In my mind, it’s The Replacements, NRBQ, The Faces, maybe Cheap Trick, and the Flamin’ Groovies. Their early records have this cartoonish, shambolic post-Stones vibe I love — the Roy Loney effect. That said, I was drawn to this somewhat atypical ballad sung by their guitarist, Cyril Jordan. I think this is the song that made me realize you could end a song with something other than a double chorus.
Tommy James — “Ball and Chain”
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My record collection did and does consist almost entirely of dollar bin records. I bought this record on a whim at a garage sale and became enamored of James’ weird, Christian bubblegum world. The fuzz guitar (maybe played by Tommy himself?) on this song is absolutely psychotic. Big fan.
Kirsty MacColl — “They Don't Know”
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I discovered Stiff Records through a CD box set my mom owned. Initially, I was lured by the rockin’ entries in their catalog: Nick Lowe, Wreckless Eric, Larry Wallis, The Damned, et al. I also adored Rachel Sweet and Kirsty MacColl, though. A perfect song that contains the most affecting use of the word "baby" in the history of pop music.
Thee Headcoatees — Girlsville
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I vaguely remember being stoned at a friend’s house when I was 16 and getting introduced to this Headcoatees album. I nicked a riff for one of my first songs, "Pig Out," which I licensed to a vegan pork rind company 10 years later. To this day, I don’t know what song I ripped off and it may not have even been by Thee Headcoatees. But Thee Headcoatees are cool, so here you go!
Flannery O’Connor — Wise Blood
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I attribute my interest in American fiction writing to Flannery O’Connor. The atmosphere in her stories is so suffocating and anxiety-inducing — in a good way. I think reading this was the first time I understood the emotional impact great writing can have. I have a slight preference for her short stories now but, keeping in the spirit of this list, Wise Blood was my first, most enduring exposure to her work.
Zero Boys — Vicious Circle
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I grew up in Berkeley, home of the Gilman St. Project, and I think a lot of my peers in high school expected me to be into hardcore. The Zero Boys are probably the one the clicked with me the most. They were melodic and seemed still tethered to rock n’ roll. Could be because they cited The Dictators as an influence. I was wearing a Vicious Circle t-shirt the first time I was dumped but I don't hold that against them.
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aaaaaaaand cue the 11 pm rambling.
the thing that fucks me up about seto kaiba is how he just. takes what he thinks he deserves. and how he looks down on those who don’t.
like here’s the similarities between me and kaiba:
- very protective of anyone that we view as needing it
- adopted
- make the best out of our situations
the difference on that last one is how we do it. i do it through ruthless optimism and pushing myself to be better every day. kaiba does it by climbing over people that he perceives to be in his way and using them as metaphorical rungs in the ladder of life.
also: r.e. joey: the reason kaiba hates joey so much is what I said above— joey doesn’t take selfish opportunities and basically does everything he does for the comfort and satisfaction of other people. kaiba was willing to gain what was probably pennies to him in duelist kingdom just to prove his title and the whole reason joey was fighting was for his sister. of course kaiba hates joey— he doesn’t understand why joey is still so low in society with the amount of dueling talent joey has.
kaiba looks at joey and sees what he could have been had he not gotten gozaburu to adopt him and then taken over kaiba corp. i’m not saying he’s right for how he treats joey, but I think it’s a little justified in a fucked up way. like, had kaiba not seized every opportunity, he would still have been in the orphanage when the show started. (idk how orphanages work in japan bear with me) he thinks that joey is too selfless and it’s hurting him. in some ways, that makes joey and kaiba perfect foils: joey, too selfless, and kaiba, too selfish.
so I don’t blame kaiba for not liking joey. I think his treatment of him is unfair and I think it’s kaiba taking his anger and trauma out on the closest available emotional punching bag, but I understand it. (i used to do that a lot to my adoptive parents because i think I saw them as the cause of my situation, even though they never did anything to intentionally hurt me.)
he needs SO MUCH therapy, though. #getkaibatherapy2023 (i do, too, but I acknowledge that and I’m working on my issues.)
I also think Kaiba had to grow up way too fast, which is actually pretty common in adopted kids. we either 1. strike out against our adoptive parents because we’re angry at losing our family or 2. conform so neatly to our new family that we fail to realize that we are separate entities from our parents. obviously those are the two extremes. kaiba is one of those cases that sits at both ends. he systematically destroys his adoptive father while also becoming so much like him that even kaiba doesn’t notice what he’s become.
I know we make fun of kaiba every time he smiles “oh no, kittens are dying” but there’s nuance to that.
does kaiba treat smiles as a reward?
I know I used to.
and if kaiba is anything like me
(which he is)
(I see a lot of myself in him, which scares the hell out of me while simultaneously comforting me because maybe I have a chance, right?)
then the love of his little brother is a privilege that he will never take for granted. in fact, he’s so scared of losing it that mokuba is his one weakness. if someone threatens my family, I come out swinging.
anyway, thanks kazuki takahashi for giving this little adoptee someone other than Annie to look up to.
goodnight.
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marlinspirkhall · 2 years ago
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R.e. pubs in the uk without decent low (or, not high) sugar non alcoholic options: my go-to is lime and soda, which isn't sugar free (usually) but because it's squash concentrate and soda water it's not super high sugar like coke, or full of artificial sweetener flavour like diet coke.
Also even if they don't have it on a drinks menu, they will (almost) always have it in and will do it if you also.
Thank you, I'll try this out!
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versary · 2 years ago
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contemplating looking into seeing a psych in 2023 r.e. some low level eating disorder stuff. it's not, like, life-threatening, but it is super frustrating. and it can't hurt to be proactive, right?
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openintegrative · 2 months ago
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Elimination Diets: Find the Foods Behind Your Symptoms
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Elimination diets identify food intolerances by removing and reintroducing specific foods.
Divided into two phases: elimination and reintroduction.
Items like gluten, soy, and nuts are often removed first.
Gradual reintroduction helps identify food triggers.
Close monitoring and professional guidance are essential.
Elimination Diets
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Elimination diets identify food sensitivities through the process of removing specific foods and gradually reintroducing them.
This method helps to find which foods might cause adverse reactions, particularly for those with chronic digestive issues or unexplained symptoms.
Common Reasons for Elimination Diets
People use elimination diets to address food allergies, intolerances, and chronic conditions. These diets help pinpoint specific foods that may be contributing to symptoms.
Types of Elimination Diets
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Specific Carbohydrate Diet (SCD): Avoids certain carbohydrates believed to aggravate digestive disorders.
Low FODMAP Diet: Excludes foods high in fermentable carbohydrates that trigger IBS.
Basic Elimination Diet: Removes common allergens, such as gluten, soy, dairy, and eggs.
Autoimmune Protocol (AIP): Eliminates foods that might cause inflammation in autoimmune conditions.
Foods Commonly Eliminated
During the elimination phase, the following foods are often removed:
Gluten
Soy
Nuts
Nightshade vegetables
Dairy
Eggs
The Elimination Phase
This phase typically lasts 2-4 weeks. All suspect foods are removed. A food diary is essential for tracking symptoms like digestive issues, skin reactions, and fatigue.
The Reintroduction Phase
Foods are reintroduced one at a time, spaced out every 3-4 days. This slow process identifies any adverse reactions and determines which foods are safe.
Challenges and Considerations
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Elimination diets can be difficult due to the strict removal of certain foods. Nutritional deficiencies may occur if not managed correctly.
Social situations may also present challenges, making professional supervision important.
Benefits and Effectiveness
Elimination diets often result in significant health improvements. Identifying and removing trigger foods reduces symptoms and enhances well-being.
When to Seek Professional Help
Professional guidance is necessary in complex health situations or if there is a risk of nutritional imbalance. A healthcare professional can provide personalized advice and support throughout the diet.
Conclusion
Elimination diets effectively identify food sensitivities. Individuals can discover which foods trigger symptoms and make healthier dietary choices by carefully following the elimination and reintroduction phases.
FAQs
How long should the elimination phase last? Typically, the elimination phase lasts between 2-4 weeks, depending on individual needs.
What should I do if I have a reaction during reintroduction? Stop consuming the food immediately and allow symptoms to subside before trying another food.
Can elimination diets lead to nutritional deficiencies? Yes, they can, if not managed properly. It’s crucial to monitor your diet closely.
Are elimination diets safe for children? Elimination diets can be safe for children with supervision from a healthcare professional.
How do I know if I need an elimination diet? Consider an elimination diet if you experience unexplained symptoms like digestive discomfort or chronic fatigue that might be linked to food sensitivities.
Research
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Hungerford, J. M. (2021). Histamine and Scombrotoxins. Toxicon, 201, 115-126. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.toxicon.2021.08.013
Jutel, M., Akdis, M. and Akdis, C.A., 2009. Histamine, histamine receptors and their role in immune pathology. Clinical & Experimental Allergy, 39(12), pp.1786-1800.
Jutel, M., Watanabe, T., Akdis, M., Blaser, K. and Akdis, C.A., 2002. Immune regulation by histamine. Current Opinion in Immunology, 14(6), pp.735-740.
Best, C.H. and McHenry, E.W., 1931. Histamine. Physiological Reviews, 11(4), pp.371-477.
Bachert, 1998. Histamine–a major role in allergy?. Clinical & Experimental Allergy, 28(S6), pp.15-19.
Brown, R.E., Stevens, D.R. and Haas, H.L., 2001. The physiology of brain histamine. Progress in Neurobiology, 63(6), pp.637-672.
Busby, E., Bold, J., Fellows, L., & Rostami, K. (2018). Mood Disorders and Gluten: It’s Not All in Your Mind! A Systematic Review with Meta-Analysis. Nutrients, 10(11), 1708. https://doi.org/10.3390/nu10111708
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Dionne, J., Ford, A.C., Yuan, Y., Chey, W.D., Lacy, B.E., Saito, Y.A., Quigley, E.M.M. and Moayyedi, P., 2018. A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis Evaluating the Efficacy of a Gluten-Free Diet and a Low FODMAPS Diet in Treating Symptoms of Irritable Bowel Syndrome. American Journal of Gastroenterology, [online] 113(9), pp.1290–1300. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41395-018-0195-4.
Gundry, S.R. and Buehl, O.B., 2017. The Plant Paradox: The Hidden Dangers in" Healthy" Foods That Cause Disease and Weight Gain. New York: Harper Wave.
Haas, H.L., Sergeeva, O.A. and Selbach, O., 2008. Histamine in the nervous system. Physiological Reviews.
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b-blushes · 9 months ago
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r.e. last reblog (which i reblogged it because it was interesting to me not because i do that due to not being able to go to the supermarket :P), who would like to tell me about how you write your grocery list/arrange the procurement of food items i'm interested!!! for me, i physically walk around my kitchen and bathroom with a notebook, opening all the cupboards and looking at what i'm low on (: i like doing my little walkthrough it's nice!
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foodpackagingcompany · 2 years ago
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Our energy strategy for reaching carbon neutral production
To drive ambitious emissions reductions in our own operations, we have devised a group-level energy strategy and set up a steering committee for decision making. To begin, we have decided to focus on two main levers: improving our energy efficiency and increasing the share of renewable electricity. Going forward as we roll-out our strategy, additional elements will be included alongside efficiency and renewable electricity, such as switching to low carbon fuels, electrification of systems as well as technology development.
Improving energy efficiency across our operations is one of the cornerstones of our energy strategy. This is particularly important given our high growth ambitions – we must constantly find ways to produce more efficiently to counter the emissions arising from growing production. During 2021, we mapped out all our operations globally to identify the largest potential for improvements in energy management. Additionally, we commissioned energy efficiency audits at two manufacturing sites in Europe to identify concrete energy efficiency improvement actions.
Increasing the share of renewable electricity is another critical lever to combat our emissions. In 2021, we took a major step forward in this area by signing two 10-year Virtual Power Purchase Agreements (VPPA) with the global renewable energy developer BayWa r.e. As part of the VPPAs, BayWa r.e. will build two new solar installations in Spain, bringing a significant addition of renewable energy to the European grid. The two new solar sites have a combined volume of 200 GWh of renewable electricity per year and cover approximately 80% of Huhtamaki’s current electricity usage in Europe. Going forward, we will continue with VPPAs also in other regions, the next one planned to take place in the US in 2022.
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brandonraykirk · 4 years ago
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Salena Estep Deed to Nettie Toney (1909)
Salena Estep Deed to Nettie Toney (1909)
Deed Book __, page __, Lincoln County Clerk’s Office, Hamlin, WV. For those familiar with the Lincoln County Feud, note description as the “Elisha Vance, Canaan Adkins and John Runyon lands.”
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probably-enjolras · 3 years ago
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r.e. disabled les amis headcanons: omg please add yours
yay someone wants to hear mine! some of this will be projection on my part. i’m disabled myself, i need a cane to walk because of a condition called Amplified Musculoskeletal Pain Syndrome (AMPS) which is very similar to fibromyalgia. i’m also going to include some neurodivergent and mental illness headcanons, but i know some people don’t consider those disabilities, but from my own experience with them, i do, so that’s why i’m adding them!
jean valjean has chronic back pain, specifically a problem with the discs in the upper spine, from his time in prison. gradually gets worse as he gets older because of lack of treatment and him triggering the pain himself by lifting the crashes cart and then marius in the sewers. in my modern aus i like to think he gets an upper back/neck and shoulder brace that he wears, and he’s a bit insecure about it so that’s why he’s always wearing big coats even in aus where he’s not being pursued by javert
javert, marius, and enjolras are autistic. javert has known most of his life but marius wasn’t diagnosed until his late teens due to lack of familial support. enjolras would have been diagnosed as a kid but he’s afab and there’s lack of diagnosis for afab children and he doesn’t get diagnosed until he’s in his 20s after doing his own research.
enjolras, grantaire, courfeyrac, and bossuet have adhd. enjolras and bossuet have more hyperactive traits, enjolras’ manifesting in his need to constantly be doing something and chronic boredom, while bossuet doesn’t display his as physical hyperactivity but more racing thoughts and an inability to slow his mind down. courfeyrac and grantaire have more attention deficit issues. they can’t focus on one topic for a while unless they go into hyperfocus or it’s a hyperfixation. grantaire has a lot of self worth issues because of his adhd because growing up he was seen as a bad student and a bad child because of his attention issues and executive dysfunction. courfeyrac got medicated really early on in childhood. enjolras did too and it becomes a bit of an issue between him and grantaire because grantaire doesn’t start medication until he’s about 24 and enjolras has been on medication for a long time and he’s kinda forgotten about how difficult it can be being unmedicated so he thinks grantaire isn’t trying enough. that changes when the pharmacy won’t refill enjolras’ medicine and he has to go a week without it. it’s a really humbling experience he apologizes to grantaire once he’s back on meds (this is based on personal experience actually… i didn’t start meds until a few months ago and i had a friend who started meds in middle school do what enjolras did and ur sucked)
joly had to get his knee joint replaced through surgery and still can’t walk properly without pain in the area so he walks with a cane. he also has an autoimmune disorder that makes him get sick really easily, as well as chronic fatigue and brain fog that makes it hard to complete daily tasks even when he has a low pain day. he also has very bad anxiety that sometimes manifests in worrying about his health excessively and vigilance about staying healthy because he knows that if he even gets a cold, it will be worse for his body than someone without a chronic illness
cosette and eponine both have c-ptsd from living with the thenardiers, and i have so much to say about this that i’m thinking about making an entirely separate post about it. just know that both of them have trauma responses, with cosette becoming very docile and a chronic people pleaser because she doesn’t want to get in trouble even though she won’t be punished like that anymore, while eponine has become hardened by her trauma and puts up walls so she doesn’t get hurt. she also gets frequent nightmares about her siblings being hurt and wakes up sweaty and almost screaming. gavroche came home late one day and eponine was on the verge of a panic attack even though it had only been half an hour
combeferre is blind in one eye and his other eye is partially damaged so he doesn’t have very good depth perception in what he can see, and he also has very limited color vision
feuilly is deaf and grantaire is HoH. feuilly’s primary form of communication is sign language, though he can lip read but not very well. all the amis know basic signs like how to ask if he wants some water/food, hellos and goodbyes, and how to sign their names. once feuilly becomes close with them, he creates signs specifically for their names, which at least in the american d/Deaf/HoH community is very special. a very close family friend of mine is HoH and he gave me a name sign when i came out as trans (it’s a quick movement of the letters R and Y up in the position where male signs are signed like “father”) grantaire is hard of hearing and has hearing aids. sometimes when he fights with enjolras he just takes out his hearing aids and just lets enjolras keep going until he realizes what’s going on.
this next one is very personal to me and is something i don’t think i’ve ever seen before, but i hc jehan with having schizoaffective disorder (bipolar type). i personally have this disorder and i have found some comfort thinking jehan has it too. they started having mood symptoms first, which started as a depressive episode and then suddenly they felt like they had been shocked into a manic episode. once the mania started they began having delusions of grandeur and the belief that they were a prophet sent to help the world. they began thinking people were after them and they heard voices from “angels” telling them what to do. they started writing poetry as a way to get the voices out of their head and onto paper. it took two years to get a diagnosis and a some very rough nights where they weren’t sleeping and would show up to meetings with delusional ideas, and they were scared. they refused to go to the hospital but needed help, so grantaire took them to the community out reach center that he goes to for alcohol addiction treatment and jehan got a psychiatrist who started them on antipsychotics and a mood stabilizer. i like to think that jehan got better quickly, just because i’ve had this disorder for a very long time and i’ve tried almost every antipsychotic out there and im not really better, so i want them to not have my experience. they were accepting of treatment pretty easily, but they did worry that their poetry wouldn’t be the same afterwards. fortunately, they channeled their frustration into poetry as opposed to writing what they were hearing and even though their poetry changed once they got on medicine, they didn’t lose their ability to write it. they’ve also learned how to have confidence in themself and the revolution without becoming delusional, which did take time because hearing enjolras’ strong ideas, it just felt like too much for a while. but the longer they’ve been stable and connected to reality, the easier it becomes to believe that yes, some things may seem improbable, but they can still happen AND some ideas are delusions and can be differentiated between the improbably ideas
bahorel has hypermobile joints and has to be careful when boxing with grantaire because he has subluxed or even fully dislocated his shoulders, elbows, and finger joints while boxing. jehan bought him some colorful finger braces and has stitched patterns into his knee and elbow braces
that’s enough for now because this is getting really long but yeah. lots of projection on my part (whoops) but what is this blog without me projecting my issues onto les mis characters? is this not what this blog is based on 😂
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jiandiie · 2 years ago
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JIANDIIE  selective  ,  private  ,  mutuals  only  ,  low  activity  blog  ruled  by  kiri  she  /  her  20.  Blog  is  ruled  by     heavy headcanon based  ADA  WONG  from  RESIDENT  EVIL  SERIES  and  is  content  related  such  as  violence  ٫  blood  ,    death    ٫  gore  ,    etc.  I  will  tag  some  content  as  a  warning  but  most  of  it  not  from  the  view  of  the  universe  my  character  is  in.  I  want  to  say  in  advance  ,  I  am  new  to  r.e  and  I  want  to  have  nonetheless  joy  from  exploring  the  characters  ,  relationships  and  possible  experiences  in  the  resident  evil  world.  Therefore,  I  ask ��for  your  understanding.
RULES
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unstoppableforcce · 5 years ago
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adore you
request: hi! would you be up for doing a Poe Dameron x reader with the song adore you by Harry Styles, like what you wrote with New Rules...
Poe Dameron x pilot! Reader
this is almost sickly sweet I think and I like it a lot so thank you anon for the request, no TROS spoilers or anything, just good old Commander Dameron - r.e.
Walk in your rainbow paradise
He had been shot down. Everything had happened so fast. One second he was up in the sky, cutting through clouds, while all his fighters trailed on his flank. The next, he was spiraling, a vibrant blaster of red shooting from the plush white and colliding with his back engine.
The cargo ship he had been in charge of transporting was now in flames on the side of the largest mountain on the planet. The smoke would surely give him away to whoever had shot him down, but he couldn’t do anything about it, he was barely capable of pulling himself from the wreckage.
His body felt all out of sorts. Blood. There was blood on his finger tips as he reached around to the surging pain at the back of his head. He could barely keep his eyes open.
Then he saw it. Then he saw you.
He swore he had never seen a ship move so fast. From where he was on the ground, the trails coming off your ship as it cut through the clouds just enough to let the sun through...
It looked like a rainbow following behind you, desperate to keep up as you worked with his team, quickly blasting the enemy ships out of the sky.
It was too hard to keep his eyes open.
When he felt his body being tugged onto a stretcher, he managed to peak out through squinted eyes.
The clouds had cleared up, sunlight basking down onto all of his team and the ships parked behind them. Everything sparkled. But you glowed.
Whatever colors your eyes actually were, he couldn’t tell, all he could see where the same rainbows which had followed you to his rescue.
“You’re going to be okay, Commander.” You cooed softly, your accent almost unrecognizable to his still ringing ears.
When his eyes shut again, he swore he was still seeing rainbows.
I get so lost inside your eyes
They transferred you from the base you had been stationed at when you came swooping in to the rescue after his crash. No one owned up to why, but there had been a few closed door meetings between Poe and the General where he pleaded to at least know the name of the pilot who had come to his rescue.
You weren’t on black squadron, but you were around in the weeks following the crash, while Poe was still getting back to his feet.
The first time he properly met you was after having supervised your training run with Rapier squadron, you beating out some of his best guys before he even realized it was you.
He met you at the bottom of your ladder, all prepared to give a hearty welcome speech, to congratulate you on the promotion and subsequent transfer, to make a good first impression. But when you took your helmet off, he lost all of his words on his tongue.
“Yes, Commander?”
You blinked a few times, tossing the helmet aside and wiping away the sweat at your hair line, all completely unaware at the way he was staring.
“Did I do something wrong?”
No. Nothing. Never.
But he couldn’t even get that out. You were sparkling.
“I Uh- I just came over to introduce myself.” He finally managed out, running a shaking hand back through his hair as he tried to recover. “And to thank you, for Nyo.”
“I’m glad to see you’re doing better.” You were sweet, he was going to melt. “Not exactly how I expected to meet the best pilot in the galaxy but-“
Oh no, you had an attitude. He was in trouble. You were just his type.
You don’t have to say you love me
He wanted to spend every free second he had with you. And usually he found a way to do exactly that.
He’d make excuses to get all the pilots to go out in hopes that you would tag along. And you always would. He wouldn’t get his hopes up and think you did it for him, but you were pretty quick to nab the seat next to him once down in the local cantina and he couldn’t deny that made his heart flutter.
Even if you only used the position to better banter with him.
For having come from a pretty isolated outpost, one of the only defensive pilots in Nyo, you fit into the squadrons on D’Qar effortlessly. If Snap made a crude remark, you could give it right back. If Bastian got too playful in his flirtation, you were quick to remind him of his place. And you and Jes together was near deadly. The wit being spewed across the table was all too quick and everything Poe loved being around.
It was comforting, almost grounding. A reminder he was surrounded by the best and the brightest in the air, that they were a fighting family and well-equipt to do just that. Fight.
In a war this hard, sometimes you needed that reminder. Poe certainly did.
That, and he also just liked the have fun with them. And wow. The pilots could drink, you included.
He often found himself carrying Snap back to base, drunkenly laughing and stumbling the whole way. But since you had come around, he was much more amused by being your crutch as you fall over yourself all the way back to your dorm.
You’d laugh, you’d trip, you’d try to take off your shoes in the hall and sometimes even throw them at passing mechanics. And all he could do was laugh and follow, trying to damage control along the way as best he could.
And when you eventually would make it back, and he’d type your room code in for you, (your hands just not cooperating with your drunken mind) you would collapse onto your bed, groaning the entire way down.
He’d toss your shoes aside and laugh as you struggled your way out of your jacket, giggling to yourself the whole time.
And for the brief second that you’d look back up at him with your beautiful eyes and mutter out some form of a “thank you”, he would think a thought he knew was wrong.
That he loved you. That he was in love with you.
But you’d just fall back to the pillows and pass out.
He didn’t need to say it. He didn’t need you to even think it back. He just needed you around. He needed you.
I’d walk through fire for you
There was no fire. That was the problem.
It was freezing on whatever the hell this planet was.
All you knew was that you had to keep quiet and stay hidden until the first order crafts passed by. That meant no fire, no nothing.
Just you and Poe hidden out in a small crevice of the towering mountain, freezing half to death.
“Stop pacing.” He warned.
You had been out there for hours, you knew how orders worked and had no real want to betray them, but at the same time, it had been hours and you just wanted to fly away. First order crafts patrolling the region or not. It was cold.
“Stop pacing.” He warned again from where he sat back in the snow, wearing his puffiest jacket, watching you pace back and forth in a futile attempt for some warmth. “You’re going to drive me crazy.”
“I’m cold.”
“Oh really? I had no idea.” He shot back with a frost bitten attitude. You couldn’t blame him for it, you were almost there yourself.
“I’m just trying to keep warm.”
“You should get back under this blanket-“
“You’re using it.” You kept pacing. Back and forth. Back and forth. And his eyes followed you the whole time.
“We can share-“
“I’m fine with my pacing.”
He scoffed but if he planned to keep arguing, he didn’t actually do it. He just watched you continue back and forth. Back and forth.
Back and forth.
He looked at his receiver, hoping and praying for a way out of the cold.
It was the quick yelp that got him to look back up for you, but you were no where to be found.
He rushed to his feet immediately, trudging as fast as he ever had through the snow until he reached where you had vanished from. And his heart stopped.
You had been atop a frozen body of water, and now you were somewhere deep in the icy water beneath.
And he didn’t even think, he just plunged himself head first into the freezing water, trying to keep his legs on solid ground so he could reach around for you.
He felt a hand and he pulled.
Dragging your now soak and even more frozen body from the water, he kept pulling until he was sure you were entirely clear of the water. Your face was blue, your eyes were shut. He bit off his glove to get his fingertips to your neck, checking for a pulse. You had one, but it was faint.
“You idiot.” He all but screamed, trying to get your soaked coat from your body, trying to warm you up as best as he could. His head was drenched too, water freezing on his face, his curls frozen on his head.
When you opened your eyes, he wanted to kill you.
“I’m cold.” You muttered out, barely conscious.
He laughed, only because he couldn’t cry. Not in front of you.
“You shouldn’t have put your head in, you’ll freeze now.” You added breathlessly.
“You saved my life once, I figured I owed you one.”
Just let me adore you
It wasn’t a big battle, but you had won. You beat the first order, completely ridding at least this section of the galaxy from them, for now.
It wasn’t a big win. But it was a win and that was cause for celebration.
Yet you couldn’t find Poe.
The pilots turned the hanger into a party, but he was no where to be found.
You searched high and low, it wasn’t until you walked past the control center, on your way to the cafeteria, that you spotted him. Perched on the slight bench created by the thick blast proof windowing, he just stared out at the vast night sky.
“Whatcha doing up here, Commander?” You questioned slyly as you made your approach, hands locked behind your back.
He turned, he saw you, and he turned back.
No emotion on his face. Nothing.
“Poe?” You continued, all playfulness washing away as you hesitantly took a seat across from him. “There’s a party happening, you know?”
“Yeah.” That wasn’t the fun loving Yavin boy you had grown so close to in the past few months. It just wasn’t.
“What’s going on?”
He huffed, shaking his head and trying to plaster on a smile, “nothing.”
You didn’t believe him for a second. And he could tell when your stare only got sharper.
“Poe?”
“I just- I guess I’m just having a bit of a day.” He sighed.
“We just won a pretty big battle-“
“We lost fourteen men.”
You nodded. It wasn’t his fault, but it wasn’t worth it to try and tell him that. He blames himself for all of it.
“We lost-“ he choke himself up, shutting his mouth before he spiraled and just shook his head, looking back to the window.
He didn’t expect you to grab his hand. You moved closer to him, grabbing his hand with both of yours and holding it tight.
“You should go to the party, you flew great-“
He tried to pull his hand away, but you wouldn’t let him, you only moved closer.
“Just let me...”
You wrapped an arm over his shoulder and sighed, pulling him into you. He was too tense at first, not adjusting, almost in a permanent flinch. But something snapped, a switch flicked when he got close enough.
And he collapsed. Barreling further into your arms, digging his head into your neck, burrowing in with his hand around your middle.
“You’re the best pilot I know.” You whispered against his forehead before pressing a short kiss there.
You stayed like that for most the night. Just holding him at first, then just talking, but you wouldn’t leave him. You couldn’t.
Like it’s the only thing I’ll ever do
He didn’t know what changed. But after that night, he was warmer and he wouldn’t leave your side when back on base, not if he could help it.
It was just something unspoken between the two of you.
Relationships were generally frowned upon in the navy, and even though this was a rebellion, a resistance, you typically followed the same rules and uniform codes. Even if relationships were the most regularly broken rule, you and Poe still never acted on what was there between you.
You could blame uniform code when Jes asked, but the two of you knew deep down what it was.
This war was bloody, it was brutal, it hurt and it took. It took everything.
And if you did act, you did succumb to the deep gravitational pull holding the two of you together like a moon and a planet, you’d have to know that it couldn’t last.
That one day something would happen. It was dangerous. You couldn’t count on being around the next day, making plans, believing in a future, it just couldn’t happen.
You sat by your ship, it was nearly the dead of night and things had been quiet all week, so most of the base was catching up on sleep. You couldn’t. Something in your heart stopped you before you even hit the pillow. You had to get your head elsewhere, so you stuck it in your ship and got to work on basic upkeep.
Poe stumbled out of his dorm, groggy, awoken by a rough nightmare memory of losing a friend flying next to him. It wasn’t abnormal, but this one hit harder for whatever reason. He had to get up, and heading to the hanger, he found you there.
He didn’t say anything. He couldn’t think of anything to say. But at the same time, he didn’t feel like anything needed to be said.
He sat down next to you and smiled, you did the same.
Setting your wrench down, you sighed and grabbed his hand. He let you, just holding you there for either a minute or an hour, he couldn’t tell, he was lost in your eyes.
“I love you.” He let the words spill from his lips before he even realized he had.
He half expected you to fall back, to flinch, to shout, to give some grand reaction of any sort. But you didn’t.
You just sighed and repeated back to him, “I love you.”
And he realized that this could be enough.
That the war may go on and on, but he could do this. You could make this work. He’ll fly ships until he can’t any more, but this is the only thing that’ll matter. This was his end.
He pressed a gentle kiss to your lips and you smiled back into him, returning the softness.
“I almost didn’t answer that distress call.” You admitted against his lips, pulling back just briefly. “Back on Nyo, I almost let my lieutenant take it.”
“Aren’t you glad you did?” He chuckled, pecking your lips once more.
“I don’t know yet, maybe if you kiss me again-“
He didn’t have to be told twice.
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gloombog · 4 years ago
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R.e. the teeth thing with adderall, is it unpleasant enough that is takes away some of the benefit of the meds? Ive been debating getting medicated but I already have teeth anxiety and I dont wanna make it worse
right there with u i have teeth anxiety too )^: it is unpleasant for sure when i start to overthink about the way it feels, but on the other hand adderall helps me break out of rumination and thoughts i get stuck on and focus instead on whatever i'm actually trying to do, so for the most part it's not a huge distraction as long as i'm actually trying to focus on a task.. i think it really starts getting to me when i take a break or finish what i'm doing because then i have no set activity and my mind is just kinda wandering and it tends to wander its little way on over to all the unpleasant stuff (like the teeth thing)
adderall can also make you clench your teeth which i definitely do when i start feeling anxious or frustrated or whatever, so that's another one for the teeth anxiety, but again, if i've got something to do and focus on in front of me it doesn't really come up
i also just want to say i think i am probably a very very bad person to base any of this off of because i take very poor care of myself and it really is essential that you like, eat meals and drink water throughout the day if you're taking any meds but especially a stimulant (suppresses appetite among other things) and i gotta be real with u like. i am bad as hell at that shit especially right now currently These Days.. so i might be experiencing adverse side effects to a much greater degree than someone who's better at eating properly and staying hydrated. and sleeping. i am a very low bar lol
just putting that out there.. i am in no way the picture of health and it's moooostly my fault (or like ok not my ~fault~ but definitely something i could be trying to change) so. if anything i'd say don't worry about it too much and regardless of whether or not u end up going with this particular medication please feed your body good food often and drink lots of water i'm really sorry this answer is so long idk how i do it honestly but i'm cutting myself off here i love u
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