#Queen Caper

[herosstoic]

The Queen Caper -Ch 6: Reconnaissance

New chapter posted!

Pushback on both Oliver's personal and professional fronts + some old-fashioned crime scene reconnaissance

(Don't know whose gif that is but it was too close to pass up!)

[awkward-txrtle]

Guys Jack Gibson drinks pickle juice from the jar he's just like me fr fr 😭

[skipppppy]

CARMEN WEEK DAY 3: FAVOURITE MOMENT SCREENCAP REDRAW

(Sigh) Roundabout was so underutilised…I can tell the showrunners didn’t do any research bc if a prominent British politician got caught stealing on camera with hard evidence he wouldn’t even get a slap on the wrist. Even though I could rant about how the Jolly Good Show Caper should’ve played out differently I won’t bc THIS SCENE IS SO FUCKING FUNNY,,, stunt on him queen

[jrob64]

Hope everyone enjoys this funny, sweet story as much as we liked writing it!

Cave Cruises, Cabin Capers, & Cracked Craniums A fic collaboration between @kmomof4, @jrob64, @snowbellewells, and @whimsicallyenchantedrose

What happens when four fanfiction writer fandom friends go on vacation together? A fic collaboration, of course! We knew from the start we wanted to have a collab sprint involved in our vacay, but it wasn’t until we were in the thick of it that we decided we wanted our story to essentially be a fanfic version of our trip itself. Sadly we did not meet any hot pirates, but it was a lot of fun all the same. All of the pictures in the post were taken by one of us on the trip and the cabin in the picset above is where we stayed.

Shoutout to @motherkatereloyshipper​ for her manip of the Lost Boys Cave sign at the beginning of the fic! You’re the best, babe!

This is a long one y’all, over 16k, so be sure you have snacks and drinks to enjoy while you read!

Summary: When Emma Swan and her friends go on their annual girls’ vacation, they meet a group of guys who seem to keep turning up in the same places. Pranks, yearning looks and romance ensue.

Rating: T for some strong language and a suggestive hot tub scene.

Under the cut, unless Tumblr ate it.

Keep reading

[k20spock]

Gecko’s list of free video games you should play right now

Hi I’m gecko I like video games and I like not paying 60 dollars for them so here’s a list of some free games I’ve unearthed and liked. Enjoy

(most of these are small, more obscure games made by a few people or even just one person, so support the creators if you can!! Some of these do have a pay what you want model)

Hikeback (Itch.io) 

You see a hitchhiker flagging you down during a long, lonely drive through the countryside. No matter how you choose to handle the situation, you end up back on that road. And then again. And again. And again, until you find a way to escape a loop of violence and self-sabotage. Hikeback is a visual novel inspired by the fable of the frog and the scorpion, and it takes about an hour to reach the ending. It’s available on Windows, Mac, Linux, and browser, and there’s a detailed list of content warnings on the game’s itch.io page. One of my strongest recommendations, Hikeback is an incredible experience, and it was made in only ten days!!

Purrgatory (Itch.io) (Steam)

Find ways to pass the time in an inexplicably cat-themed but otherwise pretty dull afterlife, and befriend its other inhabitants. Purrgatory can hit hard when it wants to, but it’s mostly a relaxed point and click game that takes about a few hours if you want the true ending (which you do). And also I really don’t like recommending things going “it’s rep!!” and not elaborating on what the thing is actually about, but Purrgatory does have a mostly explicitly LGBT+ cast and Korean characters by a Korean artist. It’s been a few years since I played Purrgatory, but I remember it was an incredible experience, and since then, even more people can play it because it’s been fully translated into Spanish and Simplified Chinese! It’s available on Windows and browser.

How Fish is Made (Itch.io) (Steam)

How Fish is Made includes incredible retro-style graphics, a sardine flopping around in a machine with a choice to make, a singing, cane-wielding, tophat-wearing, tongue-eating parasitic isopod, and a free expansion/trailer for the studio’s next game that’s like if Katamari Damacy was evil and also had fish in it. That’s the best I can do for a summary. How Fish is Made is available on Windows and takes about 30-45 minutes, but will itch your brain for much longer.

Stop Burying Me Alive, Beautiful (Itch.io)

A visual novel in which you are stuck between trying to convince your girlfriend you are not dead and she should stop burying you alive, and playing rat-themed card games with a woman you find living underground. The game doesn’t always do a great job walking the line between comedy and horror, but there’s some strong writing depicting a failing relationship and very strong artwork that makes this an easy recommendation. Stop Burying Me Alive, Beautiful is on Windows, Mac, Linux, and browser, and takes about half an hour. 

Caper in the Castro (Internet Archive)

Ok this one is pretty different, but fuck it, it was originally released for free in 1989 (with a recommendation to make a donation to charity instead) and is still free so I’m including it. Not enough people are aware that you can play the first known video game by and about gay people on your computer right now for free and it has that classic adventure game bullshit sometimes but it’s extremely playable and also funny as shit. Like it’s not just cool history it’s actually fun (sorry Gayblade). You play as a lesbian private detective named Tracker McDyke looking for your missing drag queen friend and you can get most of the doors in the game open by shooting them. People have made full walkthroughs for this game and how to get it working if you have trouble so there’s no excuse. Play Caper in the Castro.

Under a Star Called Sun (Itch.io) (Liminal Magazine)

A browser game made in Bitsy that’s extremely simple and only a few minutes long, but that’s all it needs to create a succinct, gut-wrenching depiction of grief. 

Hotel Infinity (Itch.io)

If you need more short Bitsy games you can play in your browser that are about death, you’re out of luck after this because I’ve only got the two. Hotel Infinity is more lighthearted, tasking you with checking in on your ghostly hotel guests, and helping one check out. It’s simple, but sweet and affecting. 

Water Womb World (Itch.io)

Back to marine life-themed horror. Water Womb World is about a man’s obsessive search for the Garden of Eden leading him to the bottom of the ocean. There’s a few brief moments of annoyance in the gameplay, but the atmosphere and visuals are fantastic. Fantastic enough I bought the shirt, because I like cool shirts. It's available for Mac and Windows, and takes about 15 minutes. 

Hyperhell (Itch.io) (Steam)

A rogue-like bullet hell with a hyperpop soundtrack. It’s a mess, but in a good way. A run can (allegedly, I am not very good at bullet hells and I wasn’t able to get all the way to the end) be under ten minutes, but the game is very replayable with its different characters, weapons, bosses, and DDR and fishing minigames. You might have heard of this one already because maia has a cameo in it, but it really is a fun, if slightly painful for your eyes, time. It’s available on Windows.

Magicafe HD (Itch.io)

Under a technicality, I haven’t played this one yet, but that’s because I played the original text-based version of this game and I didn’t know the dev had converted it to a full visual novel until right now when I went to recommend the original. I’m certain this version is even better! It’s a cute, simple visual novel about a girl trying to get to her job at a magical girl themed cafe, while dealing with the struggles of secretly also being an actual magical girl. Available on Windows, and lasts about half an hour. The original is available on browser here if you’re interested. 

Dedz0ne (Itch.io)

Ok, wrapping up on a weird one since this isn’t really a universal recommendation. Dedz0ne is a Yume Nikki/Splatoon fangame inspired by Dedf1sh’s backstory and the atmosphere of Octo Expansion in general. It came out before Side Order so it’s not accurate to it, but it’s a really neat game with great visuals and atmosphere. It’s available on Windows

And that’s it for now. There will probably be a sequel someday because I am unable to stop digging through free games. Or maybe a collection of not free but extremely cheap games (like under five bucks) I like. Who knows! I hope you found something that catches your eye here!

[wherevenusholdssomeofficespace]

Candace really sees herself as the boring one in her family. And usually, at least to the audience she is. She’s a butt monkey and a stick in the mud. But I think in literally any other context, she would probably be the coolest person ever.

Candace is probably the jock of the family. I don’t really have enough immediate evidence to support this. But where Phineas and Ferb are creative, mechanical geniuses. Candace is very tough for a 15 year old. (I mean, they have all been shown to be varying degrees of extremely athletic, Baljeet climbing a mountain anyone but I think Candace takes the cake). Obviously that is best shown in Across the 2nd Dimension with 2D Candace. While obviously there are differences between the characters, 1D Candace probably isn’t incapable of these things, if she had grown up under the same circumstances.

I mean. Candace fought an alligator in the sewers, she took down aliens with nothing but a t-shirt canon once, and with nothing but a megaphone another time. She can drag her mother around effortlessly and can swim for miles, apparently can do a quintuple-somersault backflip-jacknife-swandive, can disassemble a train. I think the only thing that keeps her from being the most terrifying person in the tri-state area that she is just as prone to panicking and she spends most of her time fighting an unwinnable battle against the universe itself. And gets pretty close sometimes. But when she doesn’t, when she’s more exasperated than scared. She kicks butt.

Throw in the fact she can play an absurd number of musical instruments, can mimic Klimpaloon, apparently can write a good enough essay to win a mayor of the day competition, was the Rutabaga princess, has a notable habit of becoming queen of aliens, and a decent track record in fighting aliens.

Things don't often go wrong for Phineas and Ferb, but when things do go wrong, Candace is usually the one to save them (at least from their perspective). In Mind Share, It's About Time, Traffic Cam Caper,

So of course Phineas and Ferb thinks she’s cool. They don’t see her obsession with busting them. They see her participation. While we don’t see a lot outside of the typical daily invention and bust attempt. When we do see outside it (evenings for example), we do sometimes see a Candace who enjoys hanging out with her brothers. We see Candace how Phineas and Ferb see her. That mug, shows us how they see her.

[solarisfortuneia]

— 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐞𝐟.

✦ info: kaeya returns home wearing his master thief costume. (takes place after the events of 'secret summer paradise' in version 3.8)

✦ warnings: not proofread.

✦ notes: where can i get myself a kaeya pls why isn't he here with me

the clock strikes nine just as the knob to your front door turns, the little bird in the wooden device chirping out the counts at precise intervals. the creaks of the door are not loud, yet they still have you jolting awake from your impromptu after-shower nap. 

“sorry, did we wake you?” a very familiar voice whispers into the dark from near the hallway. kaeya’s back! you realize, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

you shake your head, closing the book that lays open on your lap. “no, no. i just dozed off.” you laugh it off, smiling at your boyfriend and at klee, who’s dozing off comfortably in kaeya’s arms. she stirs when he moves a little too abruptly. 

“hey, it’s okay, you can go back to sleep.” he coos softly, patting her head. he sets her down on the couch, gently laying her head on a cushion.

“we had a little too much fun in sumeru,” he tells you after he’s made sure she’s sound asleep, pulling you close and wrapping his arms around your waist. “she’s all tired out. albedo’ll be here to take her home soon.”

“i can tell. i love her mage costume.” you squint at his indigo and peacock feather get up. “and you’re supposed to be a…?”

he huffs playfully, pouting. “you can’t tell? i’m a master thief, clearly.”

“the style suits you.” you tap at his lips and his mouth spreads into a grin underneath your fingers, lighting up his entire face. “though, you’re not you without the boob-window. or that fluffy monstrosity you call a cape. it’s characteristic, but unnecessary. ”

he gasps in mock offense. “how could you slander my cape that way? you call it an unnecessary fluffy monstrosity, yet you still steal it when you’re cold, do you not?”

you exhale forcefully through your nose despite your best efforts to keep a straight face. “touché. drama queen.” 

“besides, i was born for this role, you know,” he says, mischief glinting in his periwinkle eye. “after all, did i not manage to steal your heart?” 

you roll your eyes, undoing the peacock feather tie and tugging at the braid he has his hair in to free it. he gives you a fond look, shaking his head to assist once you’ve loosened it enough. azure cascades down his shoulders, a slight wave throughout. “so, master thief kaeya, wearer of feathers, stealer of hearts.” your expression mirrors the still-present grin on his face as you loop your arms around his neck, his hair a silky waterfall on your fingers. “what caper are you chasing next?” 

“since i already have the most precious of hearts in my hands, i believe i need to steal a few kisses to complete my collection, yes?” 

“but good sir, are you sure you’d be satisfied with just a few?”

“oh, haven’t you heard, darling?” you feel his mouth curl into a slow smile against your neck, his voice a caress against your skin.

 “i’m insatiable.”

taglist: @number-one-love-lover

new taglist form (old one had issues): here.

[adamnablelittledevil]

"There is Lestat, first and foremost, the author of four books of his life and his adventures comprising everything you could ever possibly want to know about him and some of us. Lestat, ever the maverick and the laughing trickster. Six feet tall, a young man of twenty when made, with huge warm blue eyes and thick flashy blond hair, square of jaw, with a generous beautifully shaped mouth and skin darkened by a sojourn in the sun which would have killed a weaker vampire, a ladies' man, an Oscar Wildean fantasy, the glass of fashion, the most bold and disregarding dusty vagabond on occasion, loner, wanderer, heart-breaker and wise guy, dubbed the "Brat Prince" by my old Master - yes, imagine it, my Marius, yes, my Marius, who did indeed survive the torches of the Roman Coven-dubbed by Marius the 'Brat Prince,' though in whose Court and by whose Divine Right and whose Royal Blood I should like to know. Lestat, stuffed with the blood of the most ancient of our kind, indeed the very blood of the Eve of our species, some five to seven thousand years the survivor of her Eden, a perfect horror who, emerging from the deceptive poetical title of Queen Akasha of Those Who Must Be Kept, almost destroyed the world. Lestat, not a bad friend to have, and one for whom I would lay down my immortal life, one for whose love and companionship I have ofttimes begged, one whom I find maddening and fascinating and intolerably annoying, one without whom I cannot exist.

[...]

But Lestat was calling. Lestat was, or so he claimed, afraid. I had to go. The last time he'd been in trouble, I hadn't been free to rush to his rescue. There is a story to that, but nothing as important as this one which I tell now. Now I knew that my hard-won peace of mind might be shattered by the mere contact with him, but he wanted me to come, so I went.

[...]

Of course I knew the very moment that he left this world. I felt it. I was in New York already, very near to him and aware that you were there as well. Neither of us meant to let him out of our sight if at all possible. Then came the moment when he vanished in the blizzard, when he was sucked out of the earthly atmosphere as if he'd never been there. Being his fledgling you couldn't hear the perfect silence that descended when he vanished. You couldn't know how completely he'd been withdrawn from all things minuscule yet material which had once echoed with the beating of his heart. I knew.

[...]

I didn't fear for Lestat, not really. I had no hopes for his adventure, except that he would appear sooner or later and tell us some fantastical yarn. It would be regular Lestat talk, for nobody aggrandizes as he does his preposterous adventures. This is not to say that he hasn't switched bodies with a human. I know that he has. This is not to say that he didn't wake our fearsome goddess Mother, Akasha; I know that he did. This is not to say that he didn't smash my old superstitious Coven to bits and pieces in the garish years before the French Revolution. I've already told you so. But it's the way he describes things that happen to him that maddens me, the way that he connects one incident to another as though all these random and grisly occurrences were in fact links in some significant chain. They are not. They are capers. And he knows it. But he must make a gutter theatrical out of stubbing his toe. The James Bond of the Vampires, the Sam Spade of his own pages! A rock singer wailing on a mortal stage for all of two hours and, on the strength of that, retiring with a slew of recordings that feed him filthy lucre still from human agencies to this very night. He has a knack for making tragedy of tribulation, and forgiving himself for anything and everything in every confessional paragraph he pens. I can't fault him, really. I cannot help but hate it that he lies now in a coma on the floor of his chapel here, staring into a self-contained silence, despite the fledglings that circle him for precisely the same reason as I did, to see for themselves if the blood of Christ has transformed him somehow and he does not represent some magnificent manifestation of the miracle of the Transubstantiation. But I'll come to that soon enough. I've ranted myself into a little corner. I know why I resent him so, and find it so soothing to hammer at his reputation, to beat upon his immensity with both my fists. He has taught me too much. He has brought me to this very moment, here, where I stand dictating to you my past with a coherence and calm that would have been impossible before I came to his assistance with his precious Memnoch the Devil and his vulnerable little Dora. Two hundred years ago he stripped me of illusions, lies, excuses, and thrust me on the Paris pavements naked to find my way back to a glory in the starlight that I had once known and too painfully lost. But as we waited finally in the handsome high-rise apartment above St. Patrick's Cathedral, I had no idea how much more he could strip from me, and I hate him only because I cannot imagine my soul without him now, and, owing him all that I am and know, I can do nothing to make him wake from his frigid sleep. But let me take things one at a time. What good is it to go back down now to the chapel here and lay my hands on him again and beg him to listen to me, when he lies as though all sense has truly left him and will never return. I can't accept this. I won't. I've lost all patience; I've lost the numbness that was my consolation. I find this moment intolerable."

THIS CHAPTER ISN'T OVER YET AND IT'S ALREADY PEAK INSANITY OMG

[inky-duchess]

Hello !

I have some questions about jesters,if you don't mind answering !

1. How are they picked?

2. What are their work hours or its just whenever the king needs to laugh ?

3.where do they usually reside?

4. What lines must not be crossed when entraining nobles/kings?

5. Do they just make some jokes,or some can have some magic tricks ?

6. If they somehow anger the king ,do they get punished and how so?

Thank you.

Usually they are picked from successful troupes after they've gained a following or an appreciation (Will Sommers) or in some cases, when they are chosen for a disability they have, either physical or intellectual (Jane the Fool).

They are on a round the clock schedule. Consider then like the TV or Tiktok of their time, the monarch had to be able to switch them on at any time.

In the court, usually in their own set of rooms.

There is a fine line. A jester could be rude, depricating and cruel but they had to know where to stop. Will Sommers got in major trouble for a joke about Anne Boleyn and Triboulet was almost executed for slapping the King and Queen on the butt (he only got out of it because the King asked him to chose his own method of execution - Triboulet chose old age)

Yes, they made jokes, some tumbled, some capered, some were used as messengers and such. Every jester had their own speciality.

Yes, they could get exiled, arrested, banished, executed or fired. But the jester had a lot of leeway, it was just up to then to stay in their lane

[mermaidsirennikita]

NOVEMBER 2024 LGBT+ ROMANCE RECS

It's always important to support diverse books, y'all. This isn't new.

But on a financial and outspoken level, it's going to be important in the coming days for Americans (and honestly, unfortunately, non-Americans too) to support queer (and BIPOC) books.

So, with no preamble.... And I do want to make clear, I'm a cis white woman (sexuality: God, I don't even know anymore)... Queer books I think you should try—

F/F:

Make the Season Bright by Ashley Herring-Blake. Contemporary. CHRISTMAS. Charlotte heads to her best friend's house for the holidays, only to find that her best friend's sister brought HER best friend... Brighton, Charlotte's childhood sweetheart who left her at the altar years ago. Angst, lots of holiday dating, and hot hot sex ensue.

Seas and Greetings by Sierra Simone and Julie Murphy. Contemporary. Christmas-adjacent. A high-end influencer embarks on a brand cruise with a stern, super hot bodyguard. But someone is threatening to expose her secret... (not her bisexuality).

This Will Be Fun by E.B. Asher. Fantasy. Years after their fearless leader is killed saving the world, a fgroup of heroes must come back together to... save the world again? Sort of? Two core romances, one of which is m/f and one of which is f/f—a nerdy witchy agoraphobic type comes back into play with the assassin she used to hook up with on previous quests.

Set the Record Straight by Hannah Bonam-Young. Contemporary. Christmas! A pair of friends do the classic fake dating thing when one of them needs a girlfriend for a work function and the other needs a girlfriend to show up her ex at a holiday get together. Bi awakening, very sweet, novella.

An Island Princess Starts a Scandal by Adriana Herrera. Historical. Latina and Afro-Latina leads. An heiress strikes a deal with an older businesswoman; she'll give the businesswoman the property she wants in exchange for an introduction and adventure in sapphic Paris before our girl has to marry a man. Truly excellent content.

The Stars Too Fondly by Emily Hamilton. Sci-fi. A scientist ends up accidentally launching herself and her friends into space, and their only help is the hologram of the ship's former captain, who mysteriously went missing with her entire crew years ago. Also, she's a hot ice queen.

A Sweet Sting of Salt by Rose Sutherland. Historical fantasy. A midwife helps a mysterious fisherman's wife give birth, only to find that the woman's origins may be more mystical than they seem. Spoiler alert: lesbian selkies. Also spoiler alert: Comeuppance for a shitty, shitty husband.

A Long Time Dead by Samara Breger. Historical paranormal. A sex worker is transformed into a vampire and enters into a looooong term sapphic love triangle with the villain of the novel and the uptight, persnickety mentor who's taken her in. Kinda like Interview with the Vampire, but hotter and gayer (yes) and way less of a sausage fest.

Mortal Follies by Alexis Hall. Historical fantasy. A young debutante in a "Midsummer Night's Dream x Pride and Prejudice" type world ends up hexed and in a back and forth with a mysterious lady duke rumored to have committed at least two murders.

The Conquering of Tate the Pious by Sierra Simone. Historical. A medieval abbess has to defend her nunnery against the villainous lady conqueror who's come to town. "Defend" can mean many things, FYI.

The Fiancee Farce by Alexandra Bellefleur. Contemporary. A fun little fake dating inheritance game book, in which a cover model/heiress convinces a woman who's already been pretending that she's his girlfriend to quiet questions, to... You know. Fake being her fiancee. In a farce.

M/M

The Will Darling Adventures by KJ Charles. Trilogy, historical. A WWI vet gets entangled with capers and espionage, while falling for a former Bolshevik upper class danger man. SO FUN.

The Gentle Art of Fortune Hunting by KJ Charles. Historical. A romcom in which a prickly upper class man strikes a deal... of a carnal nature... after catching a fortune hunter trying to seduce his niece.

The Witch Walker Series by Charissa Weaks. Fantasy. Multiple romances, and the primary is M/F, but there are multiple POVs and a prominent, excellent, villain second chance romance between two men, both of whom have POVs. Additionally, the hero of the M/F romance has recently been revealed to be bi through the offshoot Tales from Tiressia. Yay!

We Could Be So Good by Cat Sebastian. Historical. 1950s reporters begin as friends, then become roommates, then become... more than roommates.

You Should Be So Lucky by Cat Sebastian. Historical. A baseball player on a rough streak and a grieving and snippy reporter following him around on the sports beat get entangled.

The Queer Principles of Kit Webb by Cat Sebastian. Historical. A former highwayman-turned-cafe-owner agrees to mentor a dandy in the art of highwaymanery so that he can steal from his horrible father. Has deminisexual rep, as well as disability rep.

Glitterland by Alexis Hall. Contemporary. A bipolar down on his luck author hooks up with a working class club kid, then accidentally ends up in a relationship.

Saint by Sierra Simone. Contemporary. A monk ends up touring monasteries with his reporter ex-boyfriend. Lots of exploration of mental health here (and it's super hot).

The Secret Lives of Country Gentlemen by KJ Charles. Historical. A new baronet moves to the marsh to care for his messy family, only to find out that one of the leading members the local organized crime family is that guy he used to anonymously hook up with.

The Nobleman's Guide to Seducing a Scoundrel by KJ Charles. A veteran turned nobleman employs a secretary in order to help him hold on to his title (his family hates him) only to realize... that secretary... is hot.

Snow Place Like L.A. by Sierra Simone and Julie Murphy. Contemporary. Christmas-adjacent. A costume designer runs into the one who got away and is SUPER BITTER. But, you know. It's a time for forgiveness.

Mafia Target by Mila Finelli. Dark/mafia. An assassin after a prominent don's son gets obsessed in a different way, and their game of cat and mouse becomes something more.

Band Sinister by KJ Charles. Historical. A flustered young innocent ends up having to head over to the Dangerous House after his sister has to rest there following an injury. Finds out that the group of scoundrels there are both better and worse than he thought. Sendup to gothics!

Heated Rivalry and The Long Game by Rachel Reid. Hockey contemporary. A pair of connected books about the long-term relationship between two hockey rivals, which begins as a hookup situationship and turns into something more... One of my ultimates!

Something Fabulous by Alexis Hall. Historical. After the woman he proposes to runs away, a stuffy duke enlists her fabulous twin brother to help him catch her... Demi rep.

Trans and NB

The Prospects by KT Hoffman. Baseball contemporary. The first trans man in the league ends up on the same team as the guy who abandoned their friendship years ago—leading to a rivalry... which leads to another thing.

Rules for Ghosting by Shelly Jay Shore. Light paranormal. A ghost-seeing trans guy ends up having to return to helping with his family's funeral home... And falls for a volunteer... only that volunteer's husband is currently haunting him. Jewish rep.

Most Ardently by Gabriel Cole Navoa. Historical. YA. A Pride and Prejudice retelling in which we have Oliver Bennet, a trans boy trying his best, and Darcy, the dude he hates.

A Shore Thing by Joanna Lowell. Historical. A widow ends up on a long distance bicycle race with a rakish former artist turned bicycle fiend, who happens to be trans. As a note, the author is married to a trans man who happens to be a queer historian!

Chef's Choice by TJ Alexander. Contemporary. A down on her luck woman agrees to pretend to date a Frenchman from a billionaire family as he embarks on an ancestral cooking challenge. Both leads are trans.

A Lady for a Duke by Alexis Hall. Historical. After faking her death at Waterloo in order to transition, a woman ends up tending to her former best friend as he recovers from PTSD and a laudanum addiction. He doesn't recognize her at first. At first... Disability and addiction rep.

For the Love of April French by Penny Aimes. Contemporary. A trans woman hooks up with a stranger, only to discover he's just been hired as a higher-up with her company.

The Pairing by Casey McQuiston. Contemporary. Exes (one of whom has come out as NB since they broke up) end up on the same European food and wine tour years later, and agree to reestablish their friendship (dating back to childhood) in a competition to see who can hook up with the most people.

His Valet by S.M. LaViolette. Historical. An NB valet (uses she/her pronouns in respect to the era) pretends to be a man while infatuated with her boss. In order to have a few nights with him, they take up the identity of a mysterious widow... And it spirals BIG TIME from there.

Unmasked by the Marquess by Cat Sebastian. Historical. A marquess believes his new best friend is a man—they're actually in disguise (uses she/her pronouns in respect to the era). After he discovers their true identity, the friendship yields to more...

Something Spectacular by Alexis Hall. Historical. A genderfluid dandy sets out to grudgingly help her ex seduce a castrato soprano... Only to capture their attention herself.

Queer Non-Monogamy (Everyone Is Together To Be Clear)

Triple Sec by TJ Alexander. Contemporary. Open poly triad romance. A bartender meets a sparkly lawyer, only to find out that the sparkly lawyer has an NB spouse. While our bartender dates the lawyer at first, she soon begins recognizing a tension between herself and her new girlfriend's prickly, aloof wife...

The New Camelot Trilogy by Sierra Simone. Dark contemporary, closed triad. A retelling of King Arthur set within the presidency. Super sexy, super angsty, suuuuper poly.

The Lyonesse Series by Sierra Simone (ongoing). Dark contemporary, closed triad (presumably). A retelling of Tristan and Isolde, in which a bodyguard falls for his boss, then is sent to collect said boss's fiancee... And the shit really hits the fan. Again, super hot, really intense.

The Thornchapel Series by Sierra Simone. Dark light paranormal. Closed(ish) triad with a secondary but prominent monogamous f/f romance. A group of childhood friends get back together just in time for a mysterious magic to begin wreaking havoc on the land... VERY dark academia with some pretty intense taboo (message me if concerned).

Consort of Fire and Queen of Dreams by Kit Rocha. Fantasy, closed triad. A princess sets out to marry a dragon shifter known for killing his previous spouses—except she, with the help of her handmaiden and lover, sets out to kill HIM.

Give Me More by Sara Cate. Contemporary, closed triad. A married couple and their best friend set out on a road trip together, only for things to become... blurred.

[thepratandtheidiot]

🍿 movie knights 2025 official list ⚔️

[town crier voice] HEAR YE, HEAR YE!

so the deal was originally 52 films, but y'all are great at suggestions and i have apparently missed A LOT of cinema over the years!! hence we're listing an even (and extremely optimistic) 100 titles under the cut, in no apparent order.

what: our noble quest, to watch at least one film every week

when: every friday, i'll post the upcoming week's film(s) and a ✨ lazy review ✨ of the previous week! will also update this post with links once watched

who: me (lars), sometimes theo, anyone else who wants to yap about movies or schedule a watch-along!

and so, without further ado...

in 2025, we're watching:

In Bruges (2008) Wuthering Heights (2011) Gladiator (2000) * The Great Muppet Caper (1981) Silence of the Lambs (1991) The Godfather (1972) Brokeback Mountain (2005) Parasite (2019) Citizen Kane (1941) Reservoir Dogs (1992) There Will Be Blood (2007) 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) The Dictator (1940) Monty Python’s Life of Brian (1979) Blazing Saddles (1974) Trainspotting (1996) The Thomas Crown Affair (1968) * Beetlejuice (1988) * Pulp Fiction (1994) Django Unchained (2012) American Psycho (2000) Blackklansman (2018) The Italian Job (1969) ✅ Far From the Madding Crowd (2015) Train to Busan (2016) Challengers (2024) The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari (1920) The Passenger (2023) The Pelican Brief (1993) * Fire Island (2022) * Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022) * A Man For All Seasons (1966) * That Funny Feeling (1965) * Cloud Atlas (2012) * Tigers Are Not Afraid (2017) * Impetigore (2019) * Rope (1948) * Ladyhawke (1985) The Big Sleep (1946) Bringing Up Baby (1938) The Outrun (2024) Moonlight (2016) The Dark Crystal (1982) * My Own Private Idaho (1991) Annihilation (2018) * Pride (2014) Ready or Not (2019) Smilla’s Sense of Snow (1997) * Pather Panchali (1955) Emma (2018) Mona Lisa Smile (2003) * I Saw the TV Glow (2024) The Thin Man (1934) The Secret of Roan Inish (1994) Velvet Goldmine (1998) * Labyrinth (1986) * Victor/Victoria (1982) * Conclave (2024) ✅ Ravenous (1999) The Thing (1982) Planet of the Apes (1968) Topper (1937) Psycho (1960) The Lion in Winter (1968) Some Like It Hot (1959) Picnic at Hanging Rock (1975) Monkey Man (2024) The Lighthouse (2019) * Nosferatu (2024) * ✅ Prey (2022) Seven Samurai (1954) * ✅ Death on the Nile (1978) ✅ The Shining (1980) Maurice (1987) Space Sweepers (2021) Wings (1927) Flesh and the Devil (1926) Sherlock Jr. (1924) Goodfellas (1990) And Then We Danced (2019) Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019) * Interstellar (2014) * 3:10 to Yuma (2007) Rebecca (1940) I’m No Angel (1933) The Court Jester (1955) Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead (1990) Bill (2015) Kes (1969) My Beautiful Laundrette (1985) The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (1994) * The Wedding Banquet (1993) At the Circus (1939) The Old Dark House (1932) The Others (2001) Lisa Frankenstein (2024) The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) * ✅ The Martian (2015) * Amsterdam (2022) * God's Own Country (2017)

[eldritchelfwriter]

I don't know HOW I missed this when it first came out, but Shadowheart and Selunite Tav in a 'Mr and Mrs Smith' type caper? DEFINITELY YES!!!

I encourage you to check out @string-queen 's Flashbangs and Forget-Me-Nots!

[sulphuryasecretcloset]

You are a hero to me

(I blame this entirely on @phrenic-a and their glorious writer-baiting. It was meant to be one genre, but of course Zev can't make anything easy for me....)

-

“Ex… Uhm, excuse me? Miss?” A tiny voice says, dragging Zev’sonya out of the conversation she’s currently having with Mose about whether they should bother securing more supplies or not before heading back to the ship and away from this awfully crowded marked. She looks to her left and down, towards the source of the sound, and is both baffled and displeased to find a green, little twi’lek girl standing there and staring at her with big eyes.

“What?” Zev’sonya snaps. Why isn’t anyone looking after this girl? She can’t be more than six or seven years old? She shouldn’t be hassling dangerous strangers who could snatch her up and sell her to slavers. Her guardians deserve a punch in the mouth.

“Are you…” The girl’s gaze slides over and takes in the sight of Mose towering behind Zev’sonya.

Her eyes grow even larger and Zev’sonya reluctantly braces for the inevitable shriek of horror while silently swearing she is indeed going to punch whomever is responsible for letting this little girl wander off.

“Y-you are!” The girl declares and shifts her attention back to Zev’sonya, but with absolute delight all over her face instead of fear. “You’re Zev’sonya Lee Lewna!”

Zev’sonya blinks. She can feel Mose’s confusion as strong as her own. Putting on her gruffest face, she scans the little girl and sees (and feels) nothing out of the ordinary. She’s dressed nicely, but not like a rich kid, is skinny but not malnourished, and has a large, yellow cuddle-toy hanging from her right hand instead her holding any weapon. “How do you know my name, kid?”

The girl leans to the side and outright grins. “And you’re Mose!”

Zev’sonya looks back at him, but he just meets her gaze with his equivalent of raising an eyebrow and underlines it with a faint shrug. No help to be had there. Great. Zev’sonya turns back to the girl and puts on her stern face again. “Listen, kid, I don’t know what you want from me, but you shouldn’t be wandering around on your own.”

“I’m not.” The girl says, then points with her free hand. “They’re right over there.”

‘They’ must be her family and ‘they’ are a twi’lek man and two other little twi’lek girls. The man, clearly someone in Zev’sonya’s trade of shady business, is busy negotiating with a seller and has no idea what is happening beyond that, but the two girls next to him are clutching their own cuddle toys and are staring wide-eyed at their sister talking to strangers. The girl on the left is hugging a raggedy looking human doll while the girl on the right is squeezing a falleen doll tight.

“I told them we might meet you one day! This is so awesome!” The little run-away declares with raw glee.

Zev’sonya shakes her head and scoffs. Not only does this little shrimp know her and Mose’s names, which is weird enough by itself, but she actually wanted to meet them? Is she crazy? “Why?”

“Because…” Now the girl finally lowers her gaze for a moment, suddenly a little shy, but it doesn’t last for long. She flicks her dark eyes up again and now they are beaming with awe. “I wanna grow up and be just like you one day!”

Zev’sonya feels like the kid just slapped her face. Yeah, must be crazy. She considers backing up in case it is contagious. Maybe it is brain-rot? Must be something serious, definitely. “What?”

“The Pyle heist! The Julita caper! The Aand sting! The Silver holdup!” The girl blurts out, increasingly excited. “They were all you.” A sharp gulp of breath is all she has time for before rambling on. “My dad goes away for work a lot of the time, but he always comes back with stories about you. When I was little, I didn’t think a twi’lek girl could be captain of a crew, but he said I was wrong and that’s when he told me about Zev’sonya Lee Lewna. The Pirate Queen! And Mose, her best friend and second in command!”

That’s when Zev’sonya notices that the stuffed doll the girl is holding on to is not something she’s seen for sale at any marked she’s been to. It is a home-made creation; a yellow hutt with brown stripes and big eyes. It is quite raggedy from being brought along to wherever this kid goes. For some reason, the sight of the clear replica of Mose makes Zev’sonya’s heart clench.

“All my sisters do is talk about meeting a prince and getting married and living in his castle, but they also claim that there are no nice hutts, so you know they’re stupidheads. I don’t wanna marry a prince, I wanna be a pirate, like you.” The girl declares with gusto. She swings her doll forward and holds it up for her to see. “I only have Hose right now. But one day I’ll run into a hutt who is nice, like Mose, and they will be on my crew and we’ll go on adventures all over the Galaxy..”

Zev’sonya has no idea what to say to that. Her brain is spinning at how unreal the situation is.

Lowering the toy, the girl tilts her head and studies the blaster hanging by Zev’sonya’s hip before she scans the blades strapped to her thighs. “My dad won’t let me shoot one yet, but I’m really good with my slingshot.”

“That’s… nice.” Zev’sonya awkwardly mumbles. She hears a quiet rumble of amusement from behind her and Mose is clearly handling this better than she is. But that’s because he’s nice and she isn’t! She’s no role-model. She’s a result of a cruel Galaxy. This kid shouldn’t-

“Is it true you even have a human on your crew now?” The little fiend seems far more shocked by this than Zev’sonya travelling around with a hutt by her side.

“Ye-es….” Zev’sonya replies, not sure why she is giving her answers instead of directions back to her family or spraying her with water to make her go away. How does she know about Leo too?!

“Hey, would you mind…” The girl starts, digging into her own pocket for something that she pulls up with a triumphant look on her face. “Signing this?”

The shocks keeps on coming today because Zev’sonya finds herself looking at the unrolling of a wanted poster of her and Mose. It’s an old one. Three or four years ago? That is really not a flattering picture of her. Yikes. Does she really look like that? She's never leaving the ship again.

Mose chortles from behind her.

Ok, this must be some kind of weird dream. Has to be. This can’t be real. No way.

When all Zev’sonya does is stare, the girl gives the poster a brief, suggestive shake.

“Sure.” Mose says, reaching by Zev’sonya and taking the poster to sign it.

Zev’sonya half-turns to stare at him with no small amount of disbelief that only grows when she sees the smile he’s trying in vain to fight off. He’s far too amused by this. Once he’s scribbled down his letters on the holo-surface, he hands it to her with an expectant look on his face.

Scowling, Zev’sonya hesitates for only half a second before signing it and turning to hand it back to the girl. “Here.”

“Thank you!” She says, beaming even more brightly despite how it shouldn’t be possible.

“Sure.” Zev’sonya clears her throat. “Now, go back to your father and don’t wander off again. Okay?”

“Okay.” The girl declares with zero hesitation and endless cheerfulness. “But when I get a little older, can I come work for you? Mom says I should focus on my dancing or singing, but that’s boring, so can I? Pretty please? Can I?”

Trying hard to ignore the long, rumbling chuckle she hears from Mose, Zev’sonya crosses her arms. “Give it ten to fifteen years, if you still feel the same, sure.” She doubts she’ll see this kid again, but there is still something about her that prods Zev’sonya to say the next words. “Just remember, being a twi’lek doesn’t mean you have to sing and dance. You do what you want to do with your life. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Even your mother. You can be whatever you put your mind to.”

Despite how it shouldn’t be possible, the girl’s face grow even brighter with happiness. “I’m going to be just like you!”

Wait, no t-that is not what she meant, absolutely not, but the girl takes off running towards her father and sisters before Zev’sonya can correct her. Then, after the cretin is reunited with her sisters, pointing towards her and Mose and clearly bragging, Zev’sonya spins around to leave in a hurry as their father finally catches on to something happening behind him and turns to investigate. Time to get back to the ship.

Mose is still chuckling when she stalks by him.

“Shut up.” Zev’sonya growls. Her face burns.

Mose outrights laughs.

“I will stab you in the eye!” She threatens, in vain as it has no effect whatsoever.

Back at the ship, Nohr is waiting by the open ramp. The nikto is standing guard and seems very ready for them to leave. He’s the impatient one on the crew. “We good to go?”

“We’re leaving.” Zev’sonya declares as she marches into the ship with Mose right behind her. “Now.”

The ramp starts closing behind them and Zev’sonya knows she should head up to the cockpit and have Bea’tah initiate take-off right away, but on the way she has to walk by the door to her quarters and she can’t help the way her gaze lingers on it.

“Lorda.” Mose says, now all quiet and gentle, stopping by the door. “I’ll head up. You go in.”

Zev’sonya pauses and glares at him.

Mose nods. His eyes are too mild. “You are the captain, Lorda. I know. You decide.” He’s indulging her bad temper and they both know it. “But I can handle the ship and you should check up on him.”

Hesitating, Zev’sonya is torn between her usual dislike of being told what to do and the fact that she actually wants to go inside that room. What happened earlier had left her with a knot in her belly, and now that twi’lek kid has made her head a mess too…

“Go.” Mose encourages. “I got this.”

She does not doubt that for a second. She trusts him without a shadow of a doubt and because of that, she can allow herself to be weak this one time. Zev’sonya exhales and gives in. “Fine.”

Mose nods again, relieved. “Good.” He shuffles by her. “It’s a seventeen hour journey to our next stop, remember? You might as well get some rest while you’re in there.”

“Mind my ship, not my business.” Zev’sonya snipes, uncomfortable. Mose is always looking out for her despite how she’s supposed to keep him safe. A captain watches over her crew, not the other way around. Mose never seems to get that into his head.

“Yes, Lorda.” He replies with ease, clearly not intending to heed her words at all. And people call her the stubborn one?

Stepping inside the room, Zev’sonya leans back against the door and pauses for a bit to take in the sight that greets her.

Lying on his back, arms by his sides, Leo is still fast asleep on the bed. As expected. As he should be. This morning’s attack had come out of nowhere and for several seconds that had felt like years, Zev’sonya had been convinced that the medicine had suddenly stopped working and that he would die in front of her. She had not felt so afraid and helpless since Mose was poisoned.

Taking a deep breath, Zev’sonya pushes herself away from the door and walks over to sit down next to Leo. He looks pale, but peaceful. No fear. Nothing like during the incident. He’s breathing deep and slow. She takes his hand in hers and forces herself to smile. “You’re going to be so angry when you hear you missed out on meeting someone as crazy as you.” His hand is warm and the contact feels reassuring so she places her other hand over his. “This twi’lek kid, she came right up to me and Mose and started talking to us. No sense of self-preservation.” Zev’sonya breathes a faint laugh of reluctant admiration. “No brain.” She shakes her head, weirdly… flattered? “You would have liked her. She said…”

- I wanna grow up and be just like you one day!

While Zev’sonya knows she’s anything but a role model, the idea that a twi’lek girl might break free from the booth others want to put her in, or even give a deserving hutt a chance because she heard stories about Zev’sonya and Mose, it is dangerously uplifting. And though the girl has horrible taste in heroes and the odds stacked high against her even before she starts her journey, Zev’sonya hopes she makes it. She really hopes she makes it.

Hmm, Leo is going to be a dreadful nightmare when he hears about this. (He won’t hear it from her but Mose is definitely going to tell him. Those two love to conspire against her.) His old nickname is going to be used a lot. “She said something crazy.” Zev’sonya says, easing down to lie next to the sleeping Leo. Everything in her wants to curl up close, wrap herself around him, place her head on his chest and listen to him breathe, but she only allows herself to hold on to his hand. It’s not much, but it’s more than what she’s allowed herself in the past. “You’re going to love it.”

The ship gently shudders as they take off and head towards the stars. Technically it is barely mid-day where they are right now, but the standard time teller tells Zev’sonya the ship will swap to night-mode soon and she realizes Mose must have known as he told her to get some rest. The different time zones between parsecs, even between some planets, can leave a traveller severely sleep deprived if one is not careful and that could get you killed in Zev’sonya’s line of work.

Fine. Sleep it is. For purely practical reasons.

Zev’sonya absently runs her index finger back and forth over Leo’s warm hand as she quietly starts listing up names of people she’s never met, except for one. Even if she’d been ignorant of Hauroko’s fate, Zev’sonya would have known it is souls Leo has lost from the grief she feels radiating from him every evening when he speaks their names. She suspects it is his way of keeping them alive in memory at least and as he won’t be able to tonight, Zev’sonya will keep them alive for him.

Zev’sonya Lee Lewna is not a hero. She’s not even a good person. But she is curled up next to one.

-

[ultraericthered]

Reimagine That Villain (Con)

Akito Sohma, Fruits Basket Abusive Family Head -> Big Pharma Drug Lord

Not much would fundamentally change about Akito as a character, but she'd now hold an extra position of power that gives an extra layer to how corrupted she's become as the God-like head of the Sohma family. In this revision, the Sohma family for years were the producers and sellers of medical herbs and tonics, to good and bad effect. In the modern day, this family business has transformed into a phamraceutical conglomerate that controls the supply and flow of all the drugs and medication in the land, which again go to good and bad effect. It's also how the Sohmas invented a serum specifically for the Zodiacs to keep their animal spirits at bay within them as they live their everyday lives avoiding physical contact with the opposite sex. Zodiac members Hatori and Kureno in particular would be crucial to this enterprise, always faithfully following Akito's orders. As you can probably guess, much of what Akito does with this business would be patently illegal, leading to consequences once she's come around.

Akihiro Kurata/Analogman, Digimon Xenophobic, Power-Mad Scientist -> Cyber Nazi

For one thing, a version of Analogman where he is explicitly the same character as Digimon Data Squad's Akihiro Kurata would be something new and interesting. And if he featured in something along the lines of Digimon Survive, he could go even darker and more depraved than in Data Squad or the Digimon World games of old. Instead of just one guy on his own, "Analogman" would now be the head of a large hacker organization that operates under Nazi-esque ideology about what the purpose of Digimon should be for humans and are out to cleanse the Digital World of all Digimon that don't fit that mold, and to weaponize those that do for purposes of world domination and persecuting "weak and feeble-minded detriments to society", as Kurata schemes to remake civilization in his image by using what can only be found in the Digital World and with Digimon.

Carmen Sandiego, Carmen Sandiego Master Thief -> Shadowy Criminal Mastermind

Here's a really interesting one: for those unsatisfied with the less villainous Carmen Sandiego we got most recently, how do you restore Carmen's villainy without seeming to just regress back to what's been done already? My solution: flip the script so that the very recognizable and often seen master criminal is...no longer that. Oh, there'd still be plenty of "Carmen Sandiego" sightings, still plenty of engagement with ladies in red hats and coats, but that would be Carmen, like an evil Padme Amidala, using decoys to fool ACME with. The real Carmen Sandiego sitting at the center of everything would now be a Dr. Claw-like figure, always giving directives from her control room, sitting in the shadows, never fully seen. So now even in capers where you end up catching Carmen, you've still not really caught Carmen. So long as the genuine article Carmen Sandiego remains uncaught and in control of VILE, the chases do not stop!

Chelsea Van Der Zee, Ruby Gillman: Teenage Krakken Nerissa's Alter Ego -> Nerissa's Spawn

This one's a no-brainer, since the twist about Chelsea being Queen Nerissa was beyond stupid in concept and in practice. She doesn't even need to be her actual daughter. Making her a shadow spawn like Lena to Magica in 2017 DuckTales makes just as much sense.

Claude Frollo, The Hunchback Of Notre Dame Hypocritical Religious Priest -> Hypocritical Religious Politician

I'd really love to see a modern day retelling of the The Hunchback Of Notre Dame story, and one angle that just writes itself would be to update Minister Frollo into not a man of the Church nor the law, but a Christian Nationalist politician who uses his faith and ties to the Church as justification to abuse his authority to do terrible things to people who he sees as lesser than himself. His guardianship of Quasimodo and attempt to rape Esmeralda could be whole political scandals he'd want to keep under wraps, and the influence he holds in his office could be used to create a narrative around Esmeralda and her people, thus swaying public opinion against them. Frollo's never stopped being relevent, so this is a good showcase of that.

(Image used is of actor John Noble, who'd be ideal for this part.)

Professor Cold Heart, Care Bears Silly Ice-Themed Villain -> Cold-Blooded Predatory Academic

Cold Heart actually started off as a fairly frightening bad guy, in like a legit uncomfortable way - he lured little children to his home, gave them drinks spiked with something that turned them into toad-like creatures devoid of feeling, and made them serve him as his slaves. In reappearances with his new sidekick Frostbite, he became more of an eccentric and comedic bungler with an ice and snow gimmick who invented various things to cause trouble, though is predatory nature around children was still there. Were he ever rebooted, the Professor should be returned to his roots and then some, situating him as a legitimate professor within an academic institution where he can prey on his students and twist their feelings into something cold and negative that serves his sinister purposes. This would obviously require he be a little less on the zany side, and a lot more, well, cold.

(Credit to the--jacobian on Deviantart for the design edit).

Dahlia Hawthorne, Ace Attorney Figurative Demoness -> Literal Demoness

In canon it's implied that Dahlia was born the "evil twin" between herself and Iris, with a natural connection to the darker side of the spiritual realm that she never really understood herself, but that influenced her corruption into the person she became as she was increasingly cut off from any positive influences that could curb this corrosion of her soul. If Dahlia was ever reintroduced, I say to hell with her connection to demonic spirits being just a subconscious thing - let her be consciously aware of the demons and all too willing to channel all that dark spiritual energy to both commit her crimes and cover her tracks. The tired trope of "all the men go gaga for how pretty and pure she seems to be" could be elevated if there was actually something hypnotic that Dahlia was deliberately utilizing to keep people blind to the truth about her, and her battles against Mia Fey become that much more epic when both use spirit techniques.

Dewey Novak, Eureka Seven Prideful, Genocidal Colonel -> Prideful, Genocidal Media Mogul

Y'know how Holland and Gekko State ran their own tabloid paper where they tried to get the truth about the world and the Scub Coral out, only for Dewey to deride that because "the masses aren't interested in truth"? A better alternate continuity of this series than anything Masahiko Minami put out there would lean into this and make Dewey a Rupert Murdoch-esque media mogul rather than an army colonel, someone who bends the truth and spins information to suit his purposes, turns news into straight up propaganda, and has programmed the minds of many to believe what he wants them to, which is where most of his followers who do his criminal work come from. This would also add a more interesting dynamic to the struggle of the two Novak brothers; how does one wielding truth on a small platform stand up against one who weaves falsehoods from a larger platform? Such a conflict would be very relevent to today's era.

Eliza & Neil Regan, Candy Candy Smug Snake Troublemaking Bullies -> Manipulative Influencer And Consummate Wild Card Rogue Respectively

As I've said before, Candy Candy deserves to be rebooted and go the Voltron: Legendary Defender route in modernizing the storytelling and characterizations compared to the old anime, and Eliza and Neil could be two halves of a full Prince Lotor - Eliza being the scheming strategist with a charming facade who's an expert at manipulating others, and Neil being the one with the romantic attraction to Candy, which like Allura and Lotor would be in stark contrast to their original incarnations in that Candy would actually return the attraction only for Neil to end up betraying her trust and feelings. There’d be more depth and development of both their characters and their family background, and they’d even get some redemption by the end.

Father, Codename Kids Next Door Devilish Man -> Godly Man

Like with Frollo, this one would also lean into something all too commonplace in today's world: the abusive parent or patriarch who uses his religious faith to indoctrinate and control his children, and protect himself from reproach. Rather than be a dark figure with flaming Hell powers, this Father would embody the idea that the God that some religious radicals want people to both love and fear, and the Devil that they want people to hate and fear, are actually just two sides of the same coin, as they're both tools of control and ensuring complacency with the religious dogma. At times he's benevolent and beaming with bright holy light, but at other times he's furious and burning up with the fires of Hell, with the thing he hates most of all being rebellion against his supreme authority. In short, he would be the ulimate abusive adult for the Kids Next Door to go up against.

Ganondorf/Ganon, The Legend of Zelda Great Demon King Of Evil -> Demonically Evil Autocrat

Just once I'd like to see Legend of Zelda lore in a modern world setting get tackled, and an incarnation of Ganon who's like the Victor Orbans, Vladimir Putins, Donald Trumps, Elon Musks, and Jair Bolsonaros of the world would be threatening and loathsome in a new but equally powerful way compared to the Demon King.

Gwen Grayson, Sky High Costumed Supervillain -> Villainous Influencer

In hindsight, Gwen Grayson is a prime candidate for pulling off the Roderick Kingsley move of making the transition from costumed supervillain to a different type of supervillain who inspires the creation and deeds of others. In Gwen's case, I can see her going hard on becoming a villainous social media star and influencer. She's a technopath, and technology has advanced a lot since 2005. Big social media platforms are the sort of places she'd thrive, being able to manipulate, harrass, and do dealings with a whole lot of people.

Dr. Irie, When They Cry: Higurashi Medic And Scientist With Loli Maid Fetish -> Amoral Researcher With Deep Malice And Predatory Urges

In a new telling of Higurashi (maybe a more modern version set outside of the 80's), Dr. Irie should undergo Adaptational Villainy to bring him back around to his conceptual roots, being just as much an agent for Nomura as Okonogi except he flips to being a double agent for Tomitake and the faction he follows. Beneath his pleasant, patient and kindly persona would lie a vile, ruthless demon of a man that Irie's always struggled with suppressing, like a literal case of Jekyll & Hyde, embodying all the thematic ideas behind Hinamizawa Syndrome, which Irie passionately researches. While not keen on the idea of having to harm any of the kids, he is still willing to use them for his own ends and fiercely believes he’s doing what’s right for humanity so that, through the validation of Takano's findings on the swamp virus, none may surrender to their inner demons anymore. Even if that means he must hypocritically exploit his own inner demon to realize this ambition. He could make such a good villain!

Junko Enoshima, Danganronpa Ultimate Fashionesta -> Ultimate Influencer

Similar to Gwen Grayson, but this one's even more obvious. There was absolutely no excuse to go with "she exploited a brainwashing anime made by someone else in order to brainwash people into embracing despair" when social media rabbit holes and influencers that lead people to embracing dangerous ideas are a fucking thing.

Ken Ichijouji, Digimon Adventure 02 Abusive Megalomanic Tyrant -> Abusive "Law And Order" Tyrant

Ken as the Digimon Emperor's a funny deal: in the original version of the anime, he was an abusive sociopath on a power high pursuing delusions of grandeur in a world he believed was all made up and existed to service his desires. In the English dub, he adopted a more traditionally "evil" persona because in his darkened state of mind, he thoroughly enjoyed getting to play the villain as he pursued his quest for conquest of the entire Digital World. And in Adventure Tri...well, that wasn't really him, it was just some total nothing of a character impersonating him for no reason. If Adventure 02 got rebooted into a new continuity the way Adventure did, here's an idea: a Digimon Emperor who believes himself to be the good guy. Ken would maintain a sense of kindness and righteousness and a desire to do some real good in the world, but it's been perverted so that he's willing to embrace tyrannical, abusive, authoritarian means to uphold "law and order" in the Digital World. Imagine Kyle Rittenhouse if he was both powerful and actually intelligent. In this Ken's warped mind, he's the Big Good, his word is the law, and his deeds are justice. This would naturally make his Heel Realization even more devastating!

Lila Rossi, MiraculousSquandered Character -> Chaotic Neutral Trickster

Lila may yet turn up in a sequel to the Ladybug & Cat Noir Movie, but the way I'd personally prefer to see her reinvented is close to what she was in Season 3 of the show except a lot more fleshed out with actual motivations and a purpose for being in the cast. She'd lie to get attention and adoration from others just like she did since she was first introduced, but she'd also be a morally dubious wild card who plays by her own rules and will decieve, manipulate, or even force others into compliance with her whims. A teen supervillain who doesn't need a costume or superpowers, which she'd relish being. In her off time, she could actually be pretty chill and friendly, even with Marinette, and her basic Chaotric Neutral morality could sometimes even shift her towards positions of helping the heroes when she feels it suits her interests or she just has nothing to lose from doing so.

Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish, Game Of Thrones "Chaos Is A Ladder" -> "Greed Is Good"

What would be the obvious modernization of a duplicitous, fiendish and entitled Master of Coin with a network of spies at his disposal who started a war and has much influence in what goes on in his realm? A corporate raider and bank manager who's also a Julian Assange-esque information broker holding just as much influence in the political and military affairs of his homeland. This one's so easy!

Lucy, Elfen Lied Tragic Homicidal Menace -> Analytical And Sadistic Trap Master

Plenty of people have stated interest in seeing Elfen Lied get remade and retold, and it got me thinking what a new take on Lucy might be like. I think you could potentially go even harder with her character. Like rather than just the vectors and the power they give her, Lucy possesses a wider asortment of psychic abilities and can use it to play mind games with her prey and opponents. Through her strength and her mental capabilities, she could lure people into whole Saw-like death traps and in fact would often do so to test humans' wills to survive, and just to fuck with them like she enjoys doing. Those that would actually make it out alive would be spared by her, deemed worthy of living in the world she seeks to create, and might even be singled out to be recipients of the Diclonius gene, gaining the Queen more followers to make use of when the time is right for them.

King Magnifico, Wish Charming And Vain Sorcerer Monarch -> Big Tech Mogul Mafioso This would be my Mirrorverse King Magnifico that I described here.

Mok Swagger, Rock And Rule Aged Sorcerer Rock Star -> Aged Sorcerer Media Mogul

Should somehow Mok Swagger returned, I think the ideal line of work for him would be a wealthy and influential master of media, like an unsettling cross between Rupert Murdoch and Harvey Weinstein. If you've seen the movie, you'd know why this would fit him too well.

Capitán Monasterio, Zorro Tyrannical Commandante -> Corrupt Police Comissioner/Governor

Zorro is another legend that's in need of a modern retelling, and the figure of the tyrant Monasterio lends himself well for an update in which he's now a corrupt and oppressive comissioner of a Californian police department who's also running for a Governor position. We've seen much reprehensible corruption from men who carry badges and abuse their authority to break laws rather than uphold them and to terrorize people rather than protect them, and such people entering politics has never been more relevant than nowdays (hello, Eric Adams!). A brutal officer turned statesman would be the natural adversary for El Zorro to fight and get others to rise up against.

(Image used is of Erik Estrada, both an actor and a police officer).

[blackbutlerfandomnerddomain]

Some personal headcanons of the Twisted Wonderland beta Designs:

Heartslabyul:

Beta-Riddle:

As mentioned, I get the vibe he's a bit bratty and too arrogant or spoiled, wither it's his birth or how his dorm treats him I dunno

Gives me sassy vibes

He gives me vibes of SIX's song "Get Down"

I have zero idea but the idea of shipping him and Beta Azul is cute

Like picture Fizz as Beta Riddle and Ozzy as Beta Azul doing normal morning schedules, cuddling and joking, and if Beta Riddle got hurt Beta Azul would be a worry wert/true mafia boss if the mafia vibes are canon (I also see him originally a lot more like Ursula)

Video editing by me btw

Everyone in his dorm loves him in different ways as I lowkey see our Riddle being kind of more based off Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland with his main core of why he's focus is cause he wants to be loved

Beta Ace:

More or less the same but the vibe I get from him is more a performer like a Disney employee.

You know how in that past I said this song was playing while writing the post? Well I can see him doing this whole thing of the scene during an assembly for shits and giggles

sorry i reference this movie twice, it's a good movie-

He's the one who will most likely be the next dorm leader after Beta Riddle

Beta Deuce:

Dere-dere

Super serious

Would be offended with our Deuce lol

Most likely look good when his hair is down

Beta Trey:

More or less the same as now's canon

I get the vibe he's like the Twst's universe's version of the Queen's knave

Beta Cater:

Again, more or less the same as canon Cater

I get the vibe he was Riddle's childhood bestie than Trey

Savanaclaw:

Beta Leona:

Though this SUPER BLURRY pic I get the vibe he's way more arrogant than what we got now

Has way more Scar's sass we were blessed with in the movie

Why do I get the vibe he and the Beta Savanaclaw were in a open relationship???

Beta Ruggie:

That one annoying kid who anime moans in the back of the classroom

The itty bitty bean

Probably more eager to follow Leona than the actual duo in canon

Beta Jack:

GIVES ME DIFFERENT VIBES THAN HIS TSUNDERE SELD WE HAVE NOW

Will pick up people without warning or question

Drinks those weird smoothy drinks from the grocery stores with kale and garlic and shit for athletic stuff

Octavinelle:

Beta Azul:

More or less the same just more Ursula???

Openly calls the Tweels his "poopsies"

Spends way too much money on stupid shit he doesn't need or want

Has way more people in his dept

Sings a lot in his lounge or casino or whatever, most this song

Beta Jade and Floyd:

The same person but one's left and the other's right

Silently but scary

Think my Ray twins OCs

Scarabia:

Beta Kalim:

Most like Aladdin

Maybe him and Jamil didn't know each other before NRC and rivaled until Kalim lied about being a prince and wins Dorm Head

Has the best parkcore skills

Sweet bean deep down

Has a weakness to shiny things

Beta Jamil:

Maybe was actually Dorm Leader instead of Kalim???

Was more sassy as Jafar

Has a Iago type of henchmen somewhere

Totally has sexual frustrations to Kalim like "Stupid sexy Kalim and his stupid handsome face-"

Pomfiore:

Beta Vil:

SUPER ARRAGANT

Looks like he'd say schedule as "sheddjual"

Also gives me SIX's Get Down vibes

Will throw his wine glass at you if you offend him somehow

Too glued to the mirror

Beta Rook:

Based off the Magic Mirror in my opinion

Somehow even more arrant than Vil

Will be very toxic if he wants to be

A lot like Gretchen Weiners from Mean Girls towards Vil

Beta Epel:

Either a girl or crossdresser

A literal tease who starts romance drama but flirting and crying after like "He's picking on me and being weird"

I kind of think this one would have a lip gloss that is addictive to those who taste it from her kiss

Ignyhide:

Beta Idia:

I was informed by @bestmannequin2018 and @porcelain-animatronic kindly in my original post, it seems this is Beta Idia and he's the youngest of the whole cast who skipped many grades cause of his big smart brain

I feel like he's more cocky than our Idia

Has super bad anger issues

Diamonia:

Beta Malleus:

Sexy sexy cocky arrant man

Very childish especially when he loses

Gets really petty real fast

Is very scary when mad

Looks scary but everyone in his dorm knows he's a cry baby

Beta Lilia:

Super childish

Is literally more daddy than our Lilia somehow

I think he was meant to be the raven in Maleficent

Beta Silver/Beta Sebek:

I only do them together cause I really can't tell who's who

Very different than they are now

I think Silver is thorns

Sebek is still thunder

I would be shocked if they are all cis and straight

[justforbooks]

The Proof of My Innocence by Jonathan Coe

This tricksy caper ranges from 1980s Cambridge to the rise and fall of Liz Truss with entertaining results

Well, it worked for Richard Osman. Twenty-three-year-old Phyl, stuck in her parents’ house with an English degree and a zero-hours job in a sushi chain, is wondering how hard it could be to write a cosy crime novel. “Death in a Thatched Cottage? The Beach Hut Murders? The Flapjack Poisonings?” As another character points out, it’s bizarre that violent homicide has been rebranded as “cosy”. “It’s very British, in some indefinable way.”

Jonathan Coe, the laureate of Britishness, sets his 15th novel against a particularly wobbly period of national history: the short-lived ascendancy of Liz Truss and the death of the Queen in autumn 2022. It is indeed a happily playful and nicely satisfying slice of cosy crime, scattered with clues and red herrings, locked‑room mysteries, teetering cliffhangers and stagily withheld information. Before she is shocked out of her apathy by a sudden death, Phyl also considers trying her hand at the genres of dark academia and auto­fiction, and accordingly one section of the book is a memoir of mysterious goings-on in a Cambridge college in the 1980s, and another a report in real time of a search for a rare book, with two narrators who can’t agree on whether to use the present or the past tense (“fake and embarrassing”).

There’s a lot going on, and Coe marshals it all with ingenious ease. As ever, the real target – the savagery behind the cosiness – is the amoral individualism and free-market greed of those with power and privilege, first excoriated in 1994’s What a Carve Up! Here, rightwingers gather at a country house hotel for the TrueCon conference, delighting in the elevation of Truss and Kwasi Kwarteng. Alongside the culture war comedy of speeches such as “Britain’s Real Pandemic: The Woke Mind-Virus” is the serious business: big money jostling to get in on the carving up of the NHS.

Blogger Christopher Swann, a friend of Phyl’s mother from their Cambridge days, has been investigating the incursion of the far right into the political centre for decades, only to be dismissed as a paranoid fantasist: officially, the plans are never to privatise the NHS, only to “streamline” it. As we see in the memoir of another Cambridge friend, describing his culture shock on arriving there as a northern state school kid, these covert networks of power have been spreading since the days of Thatcher and Reagan.

The political mystery – is there a smoking gun that will reveal a plot to destroy the NHS – plays second fiddle to a literary one: the fate of an obscure writer from the 1980s. Peter Cockerill was that extremely rare phenomenon, a rightwing novelist, furious to be punished for his politics with exclusion from the glamorous gang of Rushdie, Amis, McEwan et al. And the solution to the mystery, as the title suggests, rests on a proof (copy) of My Innocence, the book in which he renounced fiction for good.

Coe enjoys himself satirising literary fashions, creative jealousy and the inevitable passing of time, with a bittersweet nostalgia for his own youth, when society was seduced by money, and the books world by Martin Amis’s Money. He gives himself a walk-on part in the Cambridge section as Tommy Cope, an ineffectual English student mainly known for writing incredibly bad poetry who later surprises his peers by achieving “modest success” with the “mildly satirical” Quite the Mash-Up.

Modest, mild: Coe is only too aware of his own understated – even cosy – reputation. His fiction has always ranged gentle, decent souls against headbangers and maniacs, and Phyl is no exception. Amid the literary fun and games, there’s a deeply sad note as she muses on the dog-eat-dog Britain wrought by the events of the last 40 years: “How is someone like me supposed to survive in a world like this? Everything that defines me is unsuited for it. My passivity. My idealism. My innocence. I just don’t have what it takes.” Phyl’s parents, too, are passive and shoulder-shrugging in the face of the political insult of Liz Truss: “Prime ministers come and go,” sighs her dad. The old have run out of energy and indignation; the young feel stuck in hopelessness and inertia, retreating from the world, as Phyl does, under the comfort blanket of endless episodes of Friends: a safe, pre-smartphone universe feeding off “nostalgia for a time before we were born”.

This is the context in which Coe plumbs the disconnect between Truss’s appointment as PM and the general bafflement that greets it, threading her speeches through the narrative along with the infuriating transport announcement “See it. Say it. Sorted”, a grating real-world soundtrack to his metafictional hijinks. His previous novel Bournville caught the national mood during historical highlights from the 1953 coronation to the wedding of Charles and Diana; here there’s a great set piece focusing on mourners filing past the royal coffin: the nation brought together by two of its favourite things, queueing and the Queen.

Another Coe tic is the piece of art, whether film or music, often glimpsed or heard in childhood and ever after treasured, coming to represent something more than mere nostalgia: a secret world behind the world. In Middle England it was the song Adieu to Old England: “One of the most eerie and melancholy English folk tunes ever written,” thinks Benjamin Trotter. Here it’s the “haunting and wistful” ballad Lord Randall, borrowed by Bob Dylan for the structure of A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall, which raises goose bumps in all who hear it and is more deeply embedded in a central character than ever before.

Coe’s subject may be inertia and nostalgia, but The Proof of My Innocence is full of energy. It’s a madcap caper, a sideways memoir, a tricksy jeu d’esprit that is also a quiet defence of fiction in a post-truth age, and enormous fun to read.

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