#Queen Caper

[herosstoic]

The Queen Caper -Ch 6: Reconnaissance

New chapter posted!

Pushback on both Oliver's personal and professional fronts + some old-fashioned crime scene reconnaissance

(Don't know whose gif that is but it was too close to pass up!)

[awkward-txrtle]

Guys Jack Gibson drinks pickle juice from the jar he's just like me fr fr 😭

[skipppppy]

CARMEN WEEK DAY 3: FAVOURITE MOMENT SCREENCAP REDRAW

(Sigh) Roundabout was so underutilised…I can tell the showrunners didn’t do any research bc if a prominent British politician got caught stealing on camera with hard evidence he wouldn’t even get a slap on the wrist. Even though I could rant about how the Jolly Good Show Caper should’ve played out differently I won’t bc THIS SCENE IS SO FUCKING FUNNY,,, stunt on him queen

[jrob64]

Hope everyone enjoys this funny, sweet story as much as we liked writing it!

Cave Cruises, Cabin Capers, & Cracked Craniums A fic collaboration between @kmomof4, @jrob64, @snowbellewells, and @whimsicallyenchantedrose

What happens when four fanfiction writer fandom friends go on vacation together? A fic collaboration, of course! We knew from the start we wanted to have a collab sprint involved in our vacay, but it wasn’t until we were in the thick of it that we decided we wanted our story to essentially be a fanfic version of our trip itself. Sadly we did not meet any hot pirates, but it was a lot of fun all the same. All of the pictures in the post were taken by one of us on the trip and the cabin in the picset above is where we stayed.

Shoutout to @motherkatereloyshipper​ for her manip of the Lost Boys Cave sign at the beginning of the fic! You’re the best, babe!

This is a long one y’all, over 16k, so be sure you have snacks and drinks to enjoy while you read!

Summary: When Emma Swan and her friends go on their annual girls’ vacation, they meet a group of guys who seem to keep turning up in the same places. Pranks, yearning looks and romance ensue.

Rating: T for some strong language and a suggestive hot tub scene.

Under the cut, unless Tumblr ate it.

Keep reading

[k20spock]

Gecko’s list of free video games you should play right now

Hi I’m gecko I like video games and I like not paying 60 dollars for them so here’s a list of some free games I’ve unearthed and liked. Enjoy

(most of these are small, more obscure games made by a few people or even just one person, so support the creators if you can!! Some of these do have a pay what you want model)

Hikeback (Itch.io) 

You see a hitchhiker flagging you down during a long, lonely drive through the countryside. No matter how you choose to handle the situation, you end up back on that road. And then again. And again. And again, until you find a way to escape a loop of violence and self-sabotage. Hikeback is a visual novel inspired by the fable of the frog and the scorpion, and it takes about an hour to reach the ending. It’s available on Windows, Mac, Linux, and browser, and there’s a detailed list of content warnings on the game’s itch.io page. One of my strongest recommendations, Hikeback is an incredible experience, and it was made in only ten days!!

Purrgatory (Itch.io) (Steam)

Find ways to pass the time in an inexplicably cat-themed but otherwise pretty dull afterlife, and befriend its other inhabitants. Purrgatory can hit hard when it wants to, but it’s mostly a relaxed point and click game that takes about a few hours if you want the true ending (which you do). And also I really don’t like recommending things going “it’s rep!!” and not elaborating on what the thing is actually about, but Purrgatory does have a mostly explicitly LGBT+ cast and Korean characters by a Korean artist. It’s been a few years since I played Purrgatory, but I remember it was an incredible experience, and since then, even more people can play it because it’s been fully translated into Spanish and Simplified Chinese! It’s available on Windows and browser.

How Fish is Made (Itch.io) (Steam)

How Fish is Made includes incredible retro-style graphics, a sardine flopping around in a machine with a choice to make, a singing, cane-wielding, tophat-wearing, tongue-eating parasitic isopod, and a free expansion/trailer for the studio’s next game that’s like if Katamari Damacy was evil and also had fish in it. That’s the best I can do for a summary. How Fish is Made is available on Windows and takes about 30-45 minutes, but will itch your brain for much longer.

Stop Burying Me Alive, Beautiful (Itch.io)

A visual novel in which you are stuck between trying to convince your girlfriend you are not dead and she should stop burying you alive, and playing rat-themed card games with a woman you find living underground. The game doesn’t always do a great job walking the line between comedy and horror, but there’s some strong writing depicting a failing relationship and very strong artwork that makes this an easy recommendation. Stop Burying Me Alive, Beautiful is on Windows, Mac, Linux, and browser, and takes about half an hour. 

Caper in the Castro (Internet Archive)

Ok this one is pretty different, but fuck it, it was originally released for free in 1989 (with a recommendation to make a donation to charity instead) and is still free so I’m including it. Not enough people are aware that you can play the first known video game by and about gay people on your computer right now for free and it has that classic adventure game bullshit sometimes but it’s extremely playable and also funny as shit. Like it’s not just cool history it’s actually fun (sorry Gayblade). You play as a lesbian private detective named Tracker McDyke looking for your missing drag queen friend and you can get most of the doors in the game open by shooting them. People have made full walkthroughs for this game and how to get it working if you have trouble so there’s no excuse. Play Caper in the Castro.

Under a Star Called Sun (Itch.io) (Liminal Magazine)

A browser game made in Bitsy that’s extremely simple and only a few minutes long, but that’s all it needs to create a succinct, gut-wrenching depiction of grief. 

Hotel Infinity (Itch.io)

If you need more short Bitsy games you can play in your browser that are about death, you’re out of luck after this because I’ve only got the two. Hotel Infinity is more lighthearted, tasking you with checking in on your ghostly hotel guests, and helping one check out. It’s simple, but sweet and affecting. 

Water Womb World (Itch.io)

Back to marine life-themed horror. Water Womb World is about a man’s obsessive search for the Garden of Eden leading him to the bottom of the ocean. There’s a few brief moments of annoyance in the gameplay, but the atmosphere and visuals are fantastic. Fantastic enough I bought the shirt, because I like cool shirts. It's available for Mac and Windows, and takes about 15 minutes. 

Hyperhell (Itch.io) (Steam)

A rogue-like bullet hell with a hyperpop soundtrack. It’s a mess, but in a good way. A run can (allegedly, I am not very good at bullet hells and I wasn’t able to get all the way to the end) be under ten minutes, but the game is very replayable with its different characters, weapons, bosses, and DDR and fishing minigames. You might have heard of this one already because maia has a cameo in it, but it really is a fun, if slightly painful for your eyes, time. It’s available on Windows.

Magicafe HD (Itch.io)

Under a technicality, I haven’t played this one yet, but that’s because I played the original text-based version of this game and I didn’t know the dev had converted it to a full visual novel until right now when I went to recommend the original. I’m certain this version is even better! It’s a cute, simple visual novel about a girl trying to get to her job at a magical girl themed cafe, while dealing with the struggles of secretly also being an actual magical girl. Available on Windows, and lasts about half an hour. The original is available on browser here if you’re interested. 

Dedz0ne (Itch.io)

Ok, wrapping up on a weird one since this isn’t really a universal recommendation. Dedz0ne is a Yume Nikki/Splatoon fangame inspired by Dedf1sh’s backstory and the atmosphere of Octo Expansion in general. It came out before Side Order so it’s not accurate to it, but it’s a really neat game with great visuals and atmosphere. It’s available on Windows

And that’s it for now. There will probably be a sequel someday because I am unable to stop digging through free games. Or maybe a collection of not free but extremely cheap games (like under five bucks) I like. Who knows! I hope you found something that catches your eye here!

[wherevenusholdssomeofficespace]

Candace really sees herself as the boring one in her family. And usually, at least to the audience she is. She’s a butt monkey and a stick in the mud. But I think in literally any other context, she would probably be the coolest person ever.

Candace is probably the jock of the family. I don’t really have enough immediate evidence to support this. But where Phineas and Ferb are creative, mechanical geniuses. Candace is very tough for a 15 year old. (I mean, they have all been shown to be varying degrees of extremely athletic, Baljeet climbing a mountain anyone but I think Candace takes the cake). Obviously that is best shown in Across the 2nd Dimension with 2D Candace. While obviously there are differences between the characters, 1D Candace probably isn’t incapable of these things, if she had grown up under the same circumstances.

I mean. Candace fought an alligator in the sewers, she took down aliens with nothing but a t-shirt canon once, and with nothing but a megaphone another time. She can drag her mother around effortlessly and can swim for miles, apparently can do a quintuple-somersault backflip-jacknife-swandive, can disassemble a train. I think the only thing that keeps her from being the most terrifying person in the tri-state area that she is just as prone to panicking and she spends most of her time fighting an unwinnable battle against the universe itself. And gets pretty close sometimes. But when she doesn’t, when she’s more exasperated than scared. She kicks butt.

Throw in the fact she can play an absurd number of musical instruments, can mimic Klimpaloon, apparently can write a good enough essay to win a mayor of the day competition, was the Rutabaga princess, has a notable habit of becoming queen of aliens, and a decent track record in fighting aliens.

Things don't often go wrong for Phineas and Ferb, but when things do go wrong, Candace is usually the one to save them (at least from their perspective). In Mind Share, It's About Time, Traffic Cam Caper,

So of course Phineas and Ferb thinks she’s cool. They don’t see her obsession with busting them. They see her participation. While we don’t see a lot outside of the typical daily invention and bust attempt. When we do see outside it (evenings for example), we do sometimes see a Candace who enjoys hanging out with her brothers. We see Candace how Phineas and Ferb see her. That mug, shows us how they see her.

[solarisfortuneia]

— 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐞𝐟.

✦ info: kaeya returns home wearing his master thief costume. (takes place after the events of 'secret summer paradise' in version 3.8)

✦ warnings: not proofread.

✦ notes: where can i get myself a kaeya pls why isn't he here with me

the clock strikes nine just as the knob to your front door turns, the little bird in the wooden device chirping out the counts at precise intervals. the creaks of the door are not loud, yet they still have you jolting awake from your impromptu after-shower nap. 

“sorry, did we wake you?” a very familiar voice whispers into the dark from near the hallway. kaeya’s back! you realize, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

you shake your head, closing the book that lays open on your lap. “no, no. i just dozed off.” you laugh it off, smiling at your boyfriend and at klee, who’s dozing off comfortably in kaeya’s arms. she stirs when he moves a little too abruptly. 

“hey, it’s okay, you can go back to sleep.” he coos softly, patting her head. he sets her down on the couch, gently laying her head on a cushion.

“we had a little too much fun in sumeru,” he tells you after he’s made sure she’s sound asleep, pulling you close and wrapping his arms around your waist. ���she’s all tired out. albedo’ll be here to take her home soon.”

“i can tell. i love her mage costume.” you squint at his indigo and peacock feather get up. “and you’re supposed to be a…?”

he huffs playfully, pouting. “you can’t tell? i’m a master thief, clearly.”

“the style suits you.” you tap at his lips and his mouth spreads into a grin underneath your fingers, lighting up his entire face. “though, you’re not you without the boob-window. or that fluffy monstrosity you call a cape. it’s characteristic, but unnecessary. ”

he gasps in mock offense. “how could you slander my cape that way? you call it an unnecessary fluffy monstrosity, yet you still steal it when you’re cold, do you not?”

you exhale forcefully through your nose despite your best efforts to keep a straight face. “touché. drama queen.” 

“besides, i was born for this role, you know,” he says, mischief glinting in his periwinkle eye. “after all, did i not manage to steal your heart?” 

you roll your eyes, undoing the peacock feather tie and tugging at the braid he has his hair in to free it. he gives you a fond look, shaking his head to assist once you’ve loosened it enough. azure cascades down his shoulders, a slight wave throughout. “so, master thief kaeya, wearer of feathers, stealer of hearts.” your expression mirrors the still-present grin on his face as you loop your arms around his neck, his hair a silky waterfall on your fingers. “what caper are you chasing next?” 

“since i already have the most precious of hearts in my hands, i believe i need to steal a few kisses to complete my collection, yes?” 

“but good sir, are you sure you’d be satisfied with just a few?”

“oh, haven’t you heard, darling?” you feel his mouth curl into a slow smile against your neck, his voice a caress against your skin.

 “i’m insatiable.”

taglist: @number-one-love-lover

new taglist form (old one had issues): here.

[adamnablelittledevil]

"There is Lestat, first and foremost, the author of four books of his life and his adventures comprising everything you could ever possibly want to know about him and some of us. Lestat, ever the maverick and the laughing trickster. Six feet tall, a young man of twenty when made, with huge warm blue eyes and thick flashy blond hair, square of jaw, with a generous beautifully shaped mouth and skin darkened by a sojourn in the sun which would have killed a weaker vampire, a ladies' man, an Oscar Wildean fantasy, the glass of fashion, the most bold and disregarding dusty vagabond on occasion, loner, wanderer, heart-breaker and wise guy, dubbed the "Brat Prince" by my old Master - yes, imagine it, my Marius, yes, my Marius, who did indeed survive the torches of the Roman Coven-dubbed by Marius the 'Brat Prince,' though in whose Court and by whose Divine Right and whose Royal Blood I should like to know. Lestat, stuffed with the blood of the most ancient of our kind, indeed the very blood of the Eve of our species, some five to seven thousand years the survivor of her Eden, a perfect horror who, emerging from the deceptive poetical title of Queen Akasha of Those Who Must Be Kept, almost destroyed the world. Lestat, not a bad friend to have, and one for whom I would lay down my immortal life, one for whose love and companionship I have ofttimes begged, one whom I find maddening and fascinating and intolerably annoying, one without whom I cannot exist.

[...]

But Lestat was calling. Lestat was, or so he claimed, afraid. I had to go. The last time he'd been in trouble, I hadn't been free to rush to his rescue. There is a story to that, but nothing as important as this one which I tell now. Now I knew that my hard-won peace of mind might be shattered by the mere contact with him, but he wanted me to come, so I went.

[...]

Of course I knew the very moment that he left this world. I felt it. I was in New York already, very near to him and aware that you were there as well. Neither of us meant to let him out of our sight if at all possible. Then came the moment when he vanished in the blizzard, when he was sucked out of the earthly atmosphere as if he'd never been there. Being his fledgling you couldn't hear the perfect silence that descended when he vanished. You couldn't know how completely he'd been withdrawn from all things minuscule yet material which had once echoed with the beating of his heart. I knew.

[...]

I didn't fear for Lestat, not really. I had no hopes for his adventure, except that he would appear sooner or later and tell us some fantastical yarn. It would be regular Lestat talk, for nobody aggrandizes as he does his preposterous adventures. This is not to say that he hasn't switched bodies with a human. I know that he has. This is not to say that he didn't wake our fearsome goddess Mother, Akasha; I know that he did. This is not to say that he didn't smash my old superstitious Coven to bits and pieces in the garish years before the French Revolution. I've already told you so. But it's the way he describes things that happen to him that maddens me, the way that he connects one incident to another as though all these random and grisly occurrences were in fact links in some significant chain. They are not. They are capers. And he knows it. But he must make a gutter theatrical out of stubbing his toe. The James Bond of the Vampires, the Sam Spade of his own pages! A rock singer wailing on a mortal stage for all of two hours and, on the strength of that, retiring with a slew of recordings that feed him filthy lucre still from human agencies to this very night. He has a knack for making tragedy of tribulation, and forgiving himself for anything and everything in every confessional paragraph he pens. I can't fault him, really. I cannot help but hate it that he lies now in a coma on the floor of his chapel here, staring into a self-contained silence, despite the fledglings that circle him for precisely the same reason as I did, to see for themselves if the blood of Christ has transformed him somehow and he does not represent some magnificent manifestation of the miracle of the Transubstantiation. But I'll come to that soon enough. I've ranted myself into a little corner. I know why I resent him so, and find it so soothing to hammer at his reputation, to beat upon his immensity with both my fists. He has taught me too much. He has brought me to this very moment, here, where I stand dictating to you my past with a coherence and calm that would have been impossible before I came to his assistance with his precious Memnoch the Devil and his vulnerable little Dora. Two hundred years ago he stripped me of illusions, lies, excuses, and thrust me on the Paris pavements naked to find my way back to a glory in the starlight that I had once known and too painfully lost. But as we waited finally in the handsome high-rise apartment above St. Patrick's Cathedral, I had no idea how much more he could strip from me, and I hate him only because I cannot imagine my soul without him now, and, owing him all that I am and know, I can do nothing to make him wake from his frigid sleep. But let me take things one at a time. What good is it to go back down now to the chapel here and lay my hands on him again and beg him to listen to me, when he lies as though all sense has truly left him and will never return. I can't accept this. I won't. I've lost all patience; I've lost the numbness that was my consolation. I find this moment intolerable."

THIS CHAPTER ISN'T OVER YET AND IT'S ALREADY PEAK INSANITY OMG

[inky-duchess]

Hello !

I have some questions about jesters,if you don't mind answering !

1. How are they picked?

2. What are their work hours or its just whenever the king needs to laugh ?

3.where do they usually reside?

4. What lines must not be crossed when entraining nobles/kings?

5. Do they just make some jokes,or some can have some magic tricks ?

6. If they somehow anger the king ,do they get punished and how so?

Thank you.

Usually they are picked from successful troupes after they've gained a following or an appreciation (Will Sommers) or in some cases, when they are chosen for a disability they have, either physical or intellectual (Jane the Fool).

They are on a round the clock schedule. Consider then like the TV or Tiktok of their time, the monarch had to be able to switch them on at any time.

In the court, usually in their own set of rooms.

There is a fine line. A jester could be rude, depricating and cruel but they had to know where to stop. Will Sommers got in major trouble for a joke about Anne Boleyn and Triboulet was almost executed for slapping the King and Queen on the butt (he only got out of it because the King asked him to chose his own method of execution - Triboulet chose old age)

Yes, they made jokes, some tumbled, some capered, some were used as messengers and such. Every jester had their own speciality.

Yes, they could get exiled, arrested, banished, executed or fired. But the jester had a lot of leeway, it was just up to then to stay in their lane

[mermaidsirennikita]

NOVEMBER 2024 LGBT+ ROMANCE RECS

It's always important to support diverse books, y'all. This isn't new.

But on a financial and outspoken level, it's going to be important in the coming days for Americans (and honestly, unfortunately, non-Americans too) to support queer (and BIPOC) books.

So, with no preamble.... And I do want to make clear, I'm a cis white woman (sexuality: God, I don't even know anymore)... Queer books I think you should try—

F/F:

Make the Season Bright by Ashley Herring-Blake. Contemporary. CHRISTMAS. Charlotte heads to her best friend's house for the holidays, only to find that her best friend's sister brought HER best friend... Brighton, Charlotte's childhood sweetheart who left her at the altar years ago. Angst, lots of holiday dating, and hot hot sex ensue.

Seas and Greetings by Sierra Simone and Julie Murphy. Contemporary. Christmas-adjacent. A high-end influencer embarks on a brand cruise with a stern, super hot bodyguard. But someone is threatening to expose her secret... (not her bisexuality).

This Will Be Fun by E.B. Asher. Fantasy. Years after their fearless leader is killed saving the world, a fgroup of heroes must come back together to... save the world again? Sort of? Two core romances, one of which is m/f and one of which is f/f—a nerdy witchy agoraphobic type comes back into play with the assassin she used to hook up with on previous quests.

Set the Record Straight by Hannah Bonam-Young. Contemporary. Christmas! A pair of friends do the classic fake dating thing when one of them needs a girlfriend for a work function and the other needs a girlfriend to show up her ex at a holiday get together. Bi awakening, very sweet, novella.

An Island Princess Starts a Scandal by Adriana Herrera. Historical. Latina and Afro-Latina leads. An heiress strikes a deal with an older businesswoman; she'll give the businesswoman the property she wants in exchange for an introduction and adventure in sapphic Paris before our girl has to marry a man. Truly excellent content.

The Stars Too Fondly by Emily Hamilton. Sci-fi. A scientist ends up accidentally launching herself and her friends into space, and their only help is the hologram of the ship's former captain, who mysteriously went missing with her entire crew years ago. Also, she's a hot ice queen.

A Sweet Sting of Salt by Rose Sutherland. Historical fantasy. A midwife helps a mysterious fisherman's wife give birth, only to find that the woman's origins may be more mystical than they seem. Spoiler alert: lesbian selkies. Also spoiler alert: Comeuppance for a shitty, shitty husband.

A Long Time Dead by Samara Breger. Historical paranormal. A sex worker is transformed into a vampire and enters into a looooong term sapphic love triangle with the villain of the novel and the uptight, persnickety mentor who's taken her in. Kinda like Interview with the Vampire, but hotter and gayer (yes) and way less of a sausage fest.

Mortal Follies by Alexis Hall. Historical fantasy. A young debutante in a "Midsummer Night's Dream x Pride and Prejudice" type world ends up hexed and in a back and forth with a mysterious lady duke rumored to have committed at least two murders.

The Conquering of Tate the Pious by Sierra Simone. Historical. A medieval abbess has to defend her nunnery against the villainous lady conqueror who's come to town. "Defend" can mean many things, FYI.

The Fiancee Farce by Alexandra Bellefleur. Contemporary. A fun little fake dating inheritance game book, in which a cover model/heiress convinces a woman who's already been pretending that she's his girlfriend to quiet questions, to... You know. Fake being her fiancee. In a farce.

M/M

The Will Darling Adventures by KJ Charles. Trilogy, historical. A WWI vet gets entangled with capers and espionage, while falling for a former Bolshevik upper class danger man. SO FUN.

The Gentle Art of Fortune Hunting by KJ Charles. Historical. A romcom in which a prickly upper class man strikes a deal... of a carnal nature... after catching a fortune hunter trying to seduce his niece.

The Witch Walker Series by Charissa Weaks. Fantasy. Multiple romances, and the primary is M/F, but there are multiple POVs and a prominent, excellent, villain second chance romance between two men, both of whom have POVs. Additionally, the hero of the M/F romance has recently been revealed to be bi through the offshoot Tales from Tiressia. Yay!

We Could Be So Good by Cat Sebastian. Historical. 1950s reporters begin as friends, then become roommates, then become... more than roommates.

You Should Be So Lucky by Cat Sebastian. Historical. A baseball player on a rough streak and a grieving and snippy reporter following him around on the sports beat get entangled.

The Queer Principles of Kit Webb by Cat Sebastian. Historical. A former highwayman-turned-cafe-owner agrees to mentor a dandy in the art of highwaymanery so that he can steal from his horrible father. Has deminisexual rep, as well as disability rep.

Glitterland by Alexis Hall. Contemporary. A bipolar down on his luck author hooks up with a working class club kid, then accidentally ends up in a relationship.

Saint by Sierra Simone. Contemporary. A monk ends up touring monasteries with his reporter ex-boyfriend. Lots of exploration of mental health here (and it's super hot).

The Secret Lives of Country Gentlemen by KJ Charles. Historical. A new baronet moves to the marsh to care for his messy family, only to find out that one of the leading members the local organized crime family is that guy he used to anonymously hook up with.

The Nobleman's Guide to Seducing a Scoundrel by KJ Charles. A veteran turned nobleman employs a secretary in order to help him hold on to his title (his family hates him) only to realize... that secretary... is hot.

Snow Place Like L.A. by Sierra Simone and Julie Murphy. Contemporary. Christmas-adjacent. A costume designer runs into the one who got away and is SUPER BITTER. But, you know. It's a time for forgiveness.

Mafia Target by Mila Finelli. Dark/mafia. An assassin after a prominent don's son gets obsessed in a different way, and their game of cat and mouse becomes something more.

Band Sinister by KJ Charles. Historical. A flustered young innocent ends up having to head over to the Dangerous House after his sister has to rest there following an injury. Finds out that the group of scoundrels there are both better and worse than he thought. Sendup to gothics!

Heated Rivalry and The Long Game by Rachel Reid. Hockey contemporary. A pair of connected books about the long-term relationship between two hockey rivals, which begins as a hookup situationship and turns into something more... One of my ultimates!

Something Fabulous by Alexis Hall. Historical. After the woman he proposes to runs away, a stuffy duke enlists her fabulous twin brother to help him catch her... Demi rep.

Trans and NB

The Prospects by KT Hoffman. Baseball contemporary. The first trans man in the league ends up on the same team as the guy who abandoned their friendship years ago—leading to a rivalry... which leads to another thing.

Rules for Ghosting by Shelly Jay Shore. Light paranormal. A ghost-seeing trans guy ends up having to return to helping with his family's funeral home... And falls for a volunteer... only that volunteer's husband is currently haunting him. Jewish rep.

Most Ardently by Gabriel Cole Navoa. Historical. YA. A Pride and Prejudice retelling in which we have Oliver Bennet, a trans boy trying his best, and Darcy, the dude he hates.

A Shore Thing by Joanna Lowell. Historical. A widow ends up on a long distance bicycle race with a rakish former artist turned bicycle fiend, who happens to be trans. As a note, the author is married to a trans man who happens to be a queer historian!

Chef's Choice by TJ Alexander. Contemporary. A down on her luck woman agrees to pretend to date a Frenchman from a billionaire family as he embarks on an ancestral cooking challenge. Both leads are trans.

A Lady for a Duke by Alexis Hall. Historical. After faking her death at Waterloo in order to transition, a woman ends up tending to her former best friend as he recovers from PTSD and a laudanum addiction. He doesn't recognize her at first. At first... Disability and addiction rep.

For the Love of April French by Penny Aimes. Contemporary. A trans woman hooks up with a stranger, only to discover he's just been hired as a higher-up with her company.

The Pairing by Casey McQuiston. Contemporary. Exes (one of whom has come out as NB since they broke up) end up on the same European food and wine tour years later, and agree to reestablish their friendship (dating back to childhood) in a competition to see who can hook up with the most people.

His Valet by S.M. LaViolette. Historical. An NB valet (uses she/her pronouns in respect to the era) pretends to be a man while infatuated with her boss. In order to have a few nights with him, they take up the identity of a mysterious widow... And it spirals BIG TIME from there.

Unmasked by the Marquess by Cat Sebastian. Historical. A marquess believes his new best friend is a man—they're actually in disguise (uses she/her pronouns in respect to the era). After he discovers their true identity, the friendship yields to more...

Something Spectacular by Alexis Hall. Historical. A genderfluid dandy sets out to grudgingly help her ex seduce a castrato soprano... Only to capture their attention herself.

Queer Non-Monogamy (Everyone Is Together To Be Clear)

Triple Sec by TJ Alexander. Contemporary. Open poly triad romance. A bartender meets a sparkly lawyer, only to find out that the sparkly lawyer has an NB spouse. While our bartender dates the lawyer at first, she soon begins recognizing a tension between herself and her new girlfriend's prickly, aloof wife...

The New Camelot Trilogy by Sierra Simone. Dark contemporary, closed triad. A retelling of King Arthur set within the presidency. Super sexy, super angsty, suuuuper poly.

The Lyonesse Series by Sierra Simone (ongoing). Dark contemporary, closed triad (presumably). A retelling of Tristan and Isolde, in which a bodyguard falls for his boss, then is sent to collect said boss's fiancee... And the shit really hits the fan. Again, super hot, really intense.

The Thornchapel Series by Sierra Simone. Dark light paranormal. Closed(ish) triad with a secondary but prominent monogamous f/f romance. A group of childhood friends get back together just in time for a mysterious magic to begin wreaking havoc on the land... VERY dark academia with some pretty intense taboo (message me if concerned).

Consort of Fire and Queen of Dreams by Kit Rocha. Fantasy, closed triad. A princess sets out to marry a dragon shifter known for killing his previous spouses—except she, with the help of her handmaiden and lover, sets out to kill HIM.

Give Me More by Sara Cate. Contemporary, closed triad. A married couple and their best friend set out on a road trip together, only for things to become... blurred.

[thepratandtheidiot]

🍿 movie knights 2025 official list ⚔️

[town crier voice] HEAR YE, HEAR YE!

so the deal was originally 52 films, but y'all are great at suggestions and i have apparently missed A LOT of cinema over the years!! hence we're listing an even (and extremely optimistic) 100 titles under the cut, in no apparent order.

what: our noble quest, to watch at least one film every week

when: every friday, i'll post the upcoming week's film(s) and a ✨ lazy review ✨ of the previous week! will also update this post with links once watched

who: me (lars), sometimes theo, anyone else who wants to yap about movies or schedule a watch-along!

and so, without further ado...

in 2025, we're watching:

In Bruges (2008) Wuthering Heights (2011) Gladiator (2000) * The Great Muppet Caper (1981) Silence of the Lambs (1991) The Godfather (1972) Brokeback Mountain (2005) Parasite (2019) Citizen Kane (1941) Reservoir Dogs (1992) There Will Be Blood (2007) 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) The Dictator (1940) Monty Python’s Life of Brian (1979) Blazing Saddles (1974) Trainspotting (1996) The Thomas Crown Affair (1968) * Beetlejuice (1988) * Pulp Fiction (1994) Django Unchained (2012) American Psycho (2000) Blackklansman (2018) The Italian Job (1969) ✅ Far From the Madding Crowd (2015) Train to Busan (2016) Challengers (2024) The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari (1920) The Passenger (2023) The Pelican Brief (1993) * Fire Island (2022) * Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022) * A Man For All Seasons (1966) * That Funny Feeling (1965) * Cloud Atlas (2012) * Tigers Are Not Afraid (2017) * Impetigore (2019) * Rope (1948) * Ladyhawke (1985) The Big Sleep (1946) Bringing Up Baby (1938) The Outrun (2024) Moonlight (2016) The Dark Crystal (1982) * My Own Private Idaho (1991) Annihilation (2018) * Pride (2014) Ready or Not (2019) Smilla’s Sense of Snow (1997) * Pather Panchali (1955) Emma (2018) Mona Lisa Smile (2003) * I Saw the TV Glow (2024) The Thin Man (1934) The Secret of Roan Inish (1994) Velvet Goldmine (1998) * Labyrinth (1986) * Victor/Victoria (1982) * Conclave (2024) Ravenous (1999) The Thing (1982) Planet of the Apes (1968) Topper (1937) Psycho (1960) The Lion in Winter (1968) Some Like It Hot (1959) Picnic at Hanging Rock (1975) Monkey Man (2024) The Lighthouse (2019) * Nosferatu (2024) * ✅ Prey (2022) Seven Samurai (1954) * ✅ Death on the Nile (1978) ✅ The Shining (1980) Maurice (1987) Space Sweepers (2021) Wings (1927) Flesh and the Devil (1926) Sherlock Jr. (1924) Goodfellas (1990) And Then We Danced (2019) Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019) * Interstellar (2014) * 3:10 to Yuma (2007) Rebecca (1940) I’m No Angel (1933) The Court Jester (1955) Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead (1990) Bill (2015) Kes (1969) My Beautiful Laundrette (1985) The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (1994) * The Wedding Banquet (1993) At the Circus (1939) The Old Dark House (1932) The Others (2001) Lisa Frankenstein (2024) The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) * The Martian (2015) * Amsterdam (2022) * God's Own Country (2017)

[spotsupstuff]

Iterators, of course, aren't made capable of resting. They are here to work.

Even if biological to a degree, the components of the Hiveminds either take careful turns for a shut eye or they work themselves to death from exhaustion. Terrifying-, is Three Sparrows' opinion on that, -but they can't live any differently. Just like moths without mouths or crazed fish fighting against the streams of oceans, that's just how their Cycles are predetermined.

But there's these few rare days... Especially with the newer Iterators- those that are still chugging through life like newborn rain deer fawns, unsure in their existence, a little too vulnerable- when they slow down for a thorough, long debug session.

For the citizens this means a little dimmer day. A little bit of detoxification from screens as nonessential devices shut down or receive far too little power from the hearts of the Iterator. As those beats slow down and the energy that does get generated from them is more focused internally.

For her, as his Mechanic, this means an especially busy couple of days. Anxiety inducing ones, too.

First thing in the morning of the first day, Sparrows sends her charge a question- "how did the debug start up go?"- then remembers that the drama queen that is Caper of Euros does not wish to be bothered to formulate as horrendous things as whole words at this stage, because, in his words: "You don't understand just how *draining* it is to put together syllables in such a state!". So she adds a little unprofessional "doin good?" supplement message right after.

It takes unnaturally long for him to respond (twenty whole seconds!!!) with a singular checkmark. She breathes a sigh of relief and allows herself to go about her day now.

The city of Ales keeps relatively quiet. The typical churn of energy, cogs and thoughts of a behemoth beneath her feet is near silent even in the depths of the inner subway system. The traffic lights blink a little slower, the fake birds overhead sing just that tad bit louder. The children freed from school thanks to the low current bump into her by accident as they chase each other through the city square. Three Sparrows clutches her breakfast, gives the little rascals some mock chase with her fist waving in the air and then she sits down to finally scorf that food down.

First day is the hardest. This one is dedicated to check ups of the hearts, gravity generators and the memory arrays. All of that is functioning at its bare minimum right now and she better make use of that! Less thunderous beats for her body to weather even through the suit specialized for this, less frustrating fights against complete antigravity and less train of thoughts for her to derail by accidentally bumping into the softer bits of his mind.

She won't get to really interact with Euros today- or well... at least he won't be able to respond much to her day's worth of effort like he'd usually do. It's still strange to think of that. Running all around someone's body yet not actually properly interacting. This job forces a person through so many paradigm shifts... It gets exhausting to change one's understanding of simply *being* so many times.

So today she ensures his hearts are without a single scratch. That the Void Fluid trapped inside of the water is still spinning right (that part is always needlessly scary. the Void stuff can't be trusted, no matter how holy the preachers say it is, Three Sparrows on a Wire doesn't give a damn). She checks all the cables and tubes surrounding them, the antigravity generators solely dedicated to only this giant chamber all the while trying to keep her own little heart from panicking at the loud noise.

Manually she visits all the major generators sprinkled through the facility and runs diagnostics on the lesser ones through her watch. She amputates and treats the biological parts of the arrays that need it, tells hi to a sleepy yet determined Inspector that came to check it out, pries neuron flies out of weird places they somehow managed to wedge themselves into and takes a peek into Euros' mental state as per regulations.

She already knows his priority list won't make the demanded norms. Her own name shines at her from the first spot, forcing all too familiar self-blame to bloom in her chest. With a swipe of a finger, the screen disappears. Her final report will have lies in it again, then. Nobody can know.

At 23:11, fifteen hours since the beginning of the work day, Three Sparrows stumbles out of the stuffy biomechanical guts of her boyfriend without popping into the puppet chamber once absolutely destroyed.

"Oh, I always forget how sweet the evening air is. Void below, wow," she says, taking a deep breath before dragging herself home.

Aching limbs force her to skip normal dinner for easier-to-prepare and consume nutritional supplements, but they don't manage to stop her from making it to the daily family call. Or from quietly hacking into Euros' systems afterwards.

There's a spike of panic in the entire Hivemind, according to the live diagnostic program running on her watch and she looks on as his systems reach for the firewalls he unconsciously dropped alongside his damn heart rate (most likely, she has yet to catch the moment when he actually drops them). Three Sparrows can't help but grin to herself a little as she turns off her computer's cloaking *just* before the firewalls reactivate. The recognition of her IP address is instantaneous- telling by the sudden stop of Euros' frantic efforts at self-defense.

At least for a few seconds. Then he's rapidly purging her out and slamming the firewalls back into their place behind her. She barely manages to burst into laughter and her watch already pings with a new message. Message in question? Only reads a singular period.

But oh, those few pixels somehow manage to obtain all the dramatic affront, anger and disbelief a typical Euros rant would have. It only makes her laugh harder.

When she finally wills herself to stop, lest she gets a headache, she replies: "when will you finally remember to *not* become a sitting mouse for hackers during your debugging. you dumbass you!"

Euros replies with another period.

"watch out for yourself, ok? just bc im tots willing to break a guys face in the name of keeping your giant eight legged box butt safe doesnt mean im exactly itching for that kinda situation" "now good luck during the night. i gotta go take a five everything hurts"

Two periods and a second later, a heart.

Sparrows smiles at the screen a little, turns off her computer and climbs into the soft bed sheets.

The next day flies by a little easier. This one is dedicated to check ups of technologies related to production of the biological Hivemind members. There's quite a lot of those scattered through the whole body of Caper of Euros, but at least the hearts are beating a little faster today which means the gravity generators everywhere are stronger and that again means Sparrows gets to call upon an Inspector to hitch a ride with it for the whole day. No solo swimming in 0g this time!

All the production centres end up being more or less perfectly fine. Any damage caused by use is miniscule enough to not matter and be fixed naturally in a matter of days. As it should be with all Iterators out of their test run phases.

A small feeling of pride settles warmly behind her ribs. Another thing she can be almost certain to check off the long long list of her duties as a Mechanic, another Euros' step towards being completely self-dependent and, for the lack of biomechanical term on an Iterator scale, fully mature.

He's progressing despite small hiccups here and there and she couldn't be happier.

Though, one thing she will admit.

As she gives her goodbye to today's guide, Sparrows just can't wait for this day to be over. It won't be admitted aloud, especially where Euros could hear her, but she's starting to painfully miss their usual interactions.

Sure, today her interactions with him were... "closer" than yesterday, but it still wasn't it.

Another dissonance. Even being near something more closer to her level than the entirety of his physical body is not exactly a direct mutual interaction. The Inspector nuzzled to her, held her, clicked at her in some attempts at communication. And it was Euros, but... also just such a small piece of him.

So small, that it almost borders on meaningless. But it hurts to think of anything with such personality and role in the grand scheme of him as meaningless so she quickly shakes that thought out of her head.

It is strange. But she doesn't mind calling the *puppet* meaningless. That thing is what her heart yearns for now, whose embrace she's currently missing- its carmine coloration and big dark lenses are what her eyes are searching for. And still, the cynical and rational part of her dubs that piece useless without an issue.

Because the puppets are useful with their emptiness. The uselessness makes them precious, paradoxically enough.

She's even writing a paper on this subject, questioning if the existence of these masks or decoys- essentially inherent lies- are really so important. So naturally, her thoughts spiral further as she's walking back into his facilities during the third day.

Today is deep puppet chamber maintenance day. A whole day dedicated to the bullshit.

In her paper, Three Sparrows argues that puppets are installed more for the sake of the Anemon population more than the Iterators themselves. In the grand scheme of things, can it be said that these priorities will pay out?

Yes, certainly, there are aspects to puppets that are helpful for the Iterators themselves too. Mainly that the relatively little things are the central focus point of the Hivemind- a means for the entirety of the scattered person to come together and form an Individuality seamlessly.

'But,' she asks, 'isn't That a condition Created by The Puppet's Existence? If We direct Our Attention to the Iterator Inconvenient Sporadic Change, she was known to exist Outside of her Individuality Without Complications! Research shows that she performed just as well if not better in Her Duties than the other Iterators of Her Time Period- which, if I May remind The Reader Kindly, are some Monumental Names. Better output than that of Boreas' Blessing, Orion's Pathway and even The Dedicated Aftertaste of Disdain.

Her Processes proved to be Seamless, Direct, Quicker. Reports are Also Kind Enough to mention the Need for Maintenance- Be it Physical, Psychological or Emotional- was at a sweet Minimum.

If a Puppet of an Iterator Should not be Given, is it Possible that the Hivemind would find a Different, Healthier Way of Coming Together? Of My educated Opinion, I'd dare to Say Yes.

The Consciousness would have the Free Choice of expanding Outwards, to the Limits of the Superstructure, rather than Claustrophobically Inwards. This Change of Procedure would Potentially Result in Absence of These known Disorders that Plague Your Great Gifts to the World:'

Then there is also of course the benefit of pearl reading and printing, but really? Her computer doesn't need a whole person just to burn her a picture, song or some text into the surface of a pearl and then also read it back. This function of the puppets is a weakness if anything. Why not exchange the entire chamber setup for something like a series of pearl readers so they might as well multitask in this, too?

Euros certainly could be reading twenty pearls at once and burning information onto thirty other, for sure. Maybe that would sate his programmed hyperactivity at least a little before he gains access to his predetermined role as a Phone Operator Chief of the Eo group.

The puppets are just a ginormous fumble at optimization of the Iterator blueprint and that's that.

And still...

Three Sparrows climbs through the pipe into Caper of Euros' puppet chamber. This place is like another heart, despite its function being nothing like a real one. A hub of his mind, maybe. An important, precious piece of him, even if those epithets are forced onto it by circumstance.

Her feet hit the floor and the chamber brightens up just that bit to signal at least a piece of his attention is now dedicated to the happenings within the room, but stays deep carmine instead of turning light pink. That signals he's still working, just as she instructed him.

Overseers come and go to take a look at her, some stay to watch her. Understandable, since the puppet is slumped over in the middle of the floor, sitting with its eyes half closed- for once, he is the one frustratingly limited in his ability to interact with her properly even though she's right here.

"Good morning, Caps!" Sparrows cheerfully calls into the more or less empty room, giving the Overseers a quick salute in greeting. They reply with quick spins of their tendrils, the room itself greets her back with a pleased purr. One that she can feel shaking her legs even through the metal soles of her boots as she walks over to today's main point of interest.

Kneeling next to it, she rests a hand over its chest in support. "Alright. As always, we'll get through the detachment sequence and you can go fully back to finishing off the debugging. How close are you to being done?"

Something whirrs and then a projection appears on the wall in front of her of a progress bar. 87%.

"Nice! You are getting faster. Come on now, then."

During a deep maintenance of the puppet, it is advised to nearly fully disconnect it from the rest of the structure. The purpose of that is to give the systems some rest, but also to avoid stressing out or making the Hivemind uncomfortable by sticking a hand into what it perceives as its very personal very own chest.

The first step is for the Hivemind to pull back from the body, to avoid the shock of forceful extraction. Once that is done, the Iterator disconnects the umbilical arm from the back and allows the Mechanic to slowly push it away. Carefulness is needed during this- the arm contains cables and tubes, acting like an umbilical cord for an unborn offspring in some animals.

The baby analogy never fails to make her skin crawl. While Anemons conceive children without such things, it's still so... personal. It stirs unwanted feelings inherent to intelligent organic beings, the need to look after a child. These puppets are like stillborns. Stuck within the womb for the "mother" to use as an extension of its being.

That is not a matter easily pondered.

The next step, after the bundle of crucial cords safely rests on the ground, is to disconnect the umbilical cables from the back of the puppet's head.

One by one, Sparrows disconnects them. And with the last, Euros' puppet goes slack against her hand. Quite unnerving, that. It always makes her heart jump even though she knows better than to worry.

She secures the umbilical cables to the arm and pulls back to take a look at him, both arms supporting his shoulders. The head lolls, eyes still open a little yet unseeing. Something whispers that's not right, so she guides his eyelids closed for him.

...Iterators can't sleep. But the useless piece of Euros looks like he does and suddenly she can't help but feel like this is the most important thing in existence.

The something in her shifts, the something that is yearning, loving, that wants to take care of another and keep him safe from the sharp world outside.

Sparrows caves. Gathers the puppet into her arms, rests his head against her shoulder. The chamber lowly, but sharply whirrs. He's probably annoyed that she has decided to be all cuddly and sweet now when he can't be fully present for it. What little consciousness he can still muster in the puppet presents itself in the tiniest nuzzle of his face into her neck.

Such a small gesture, yet it steals her breath away. She hugs him... it.. closer, cheek presses against his forehead, a hand moves to caress the side of his face.

She marvels at the feeling of holding him. Questions why she is left stumped by an almost empty thing.

He's sleeping, face buried against her neck, says the something- he is awake, just a little drowsy, staring at her with seven eyes across the room, replies reason.

She cradles him in her lap… he's so thin and light, the feeling begs her to keep him safe until he wakes up again, he wouldn't be able to defend himself against a predator-! He holds her in his center, so small and insignificant compared to his mind breaking vastness.. her life span so minute compared to what he is yet to live through. Someone of his caliber wouldn't find a challenge in simply deleting her like a line of code.

'The only thing keeping me truly safe are the taboos woven in their genes,' says the cynical piece of mind, jaded by decades of unkind life and all tired, entertaining the absolute worst of scenarios for the sake of a warning. 'I couldn't be in a safer place than here, at his mercy, in this artificial world where he might as well be a true god,' says the lovesick heart backed up by years of experience, making her arms tighten in a hug.

She caresses his arm, taking a note of the bit too dry skin, created similarly enough to her own to bring comfort of familiarity, only to be snatched away again when there's no softness of flesh beneath.

'That's just a Generation 2 thing,' the knowledgeable mind shrugs it off.

And the more primal worrywart of a heart panics about it as it applies organic understanding of things to it. Remembering the few times Sparrows was allowed to touch Boreas' puppet, the many times Zephyr pulled her against her side for the night. Those are his family members! They are padded with something pliable-

Cushioning of Generation 1 to combat possible gravity generator outages. There's more certainty in the Iterator engineering now, Euros has no need for those. He's better off than either of them. He's safer and, terrifyingly, many times more loved than them.

She sighs, concerned and-

"Sparrows?"

Ah, that seems to be the limit for how long Euros is willing to take the actionless silence. The voice is relatively quiet considering it always echoes through the little room from the speakers seated in the corners of the ceiling. It's kind of sluggish. Not entirely out of the concentration of debugging. The Overseers have come closer.

"Sorry, I was just thinking."

"Sure you were. Your face went on quite the journey there. Why were you frowning so much?"

She considers. "...dissension of... wants and reality, I guess."

"Well then don't go doing that when I can't feasibly help out. Same with the cuddles I want in on that."

Three Sparrows only rolls her eyes in amusement at that and goes back to work, this time with the Overseers watching her a bit more intently. It's a little uncomfortable, but she can't blame him for worrying when she does so constantly.

Later that day, when the sun hides away, her gaze lingers in random places.

In the kitchen at the table with one chair, one plate and one cup of tea. She stares at the too much space on the couch in the little living room, one toothbrush waiting at the sink, the empty place beside her in the bed.

Perhaps an Iterator puppet isn't the only empty thing in her life.

[sulphuryasecretcloset]

You are a hero to me

(I blame this entirely on @phrenic-a and their glorious writer-baiting. It was meant to be one genre, but of course Zev can't make anything easy for me....)

-

“Ex… Uhm, excuse me? Miss?” A tiny voice says, dragging Zev’sonya out of the conversation she’s currently having with Mose about whether they should bother securing more supplies or not before heading back to the ship and away from this awfully crowded marked. She looks to her left and down, towards the source of the sound, and is both baffled and displeased to find a green, little twi’lek girl standing there and staring at her with big eyes.

“What?” Zev’sonya snaps. Why isn’t anyone looking after this girl? She can’t be more than six or seven years old? She shouldn’t be hassling dangerous strangers who could snatch her up and sell her to slavers. Her guardians deserve a punch in the mouth.

“Are you…” The girl’s gaze slides over and takes in the sight of Mose towering behind Zev’sonya.

Her eyes grow even larger and Zev’sonya reluctantly braces for the inevitable shriek of horror while silently swearing she is indeed going to punch whomever is responsible for letting this little girl wander off.

“Y-you are!” The girl declares and shifts her attention back to Zev’sonya, but with absolute delight all over her face instead of fear. “You’re Zev’sonya Lee Lewna!”

Zev’sonya blinks. She can feel Mose’s confusion as strong as her own. Putting on her gruffest face, she scans the little girl and sees (and feels) nothing out of the ordinary. She’s dressed nicely, but not like a rich kid, is skinny but not malnourished, and has a large, yellow cuddle-toy hanging from her right hand instead her holding any weapon. “How do you know my name, kid?”

The girl leans to the side and outright grins. “And you’re Mose!”

Zev’sonya looks back at him, but he just meets her gaze with his equivalent of raising an eyebrow and underlines it with a faint shrug. No help to be had there. Great. Zev’sonya turns back to the girl and puts on her stern face again. “Listen, kid, I don’t know what you want from me, but you shouldn’t be wandering around on your own.”

“I’m not.” The girl says, then points with her free hand. “They’re right over there.”

‘They’ must be her family and ‘they’ are a twi’lek man and two other little twi’lek girls. The man, clearly someone in Zev’sonya’s trade of shady business, is busy negotiating with a seller and has no idea what is happening beyond that, but the two girls next to him are clutching their own cuddle toys and are staring wide-eyed at their sister talking to strangers. The girl on the left is hugging a raggedy looking human doll while the girl on the right is squeezing a falleen doll tight.

“I told them we might meet you one day! This is so awesome!” The little run-away declares with raw glee.

Zev’sonya shakes her head and scoffs. Not only does this little shrimp know her and Mose’s names, which is weird enough by itself, but she actually wanted to meet them? Is she crazy? “Why?”

“Because…” Now the girl finally lowers her gaze for a moment, suddenly a little shy, but it doesn’t last for long. She flicks her dark eyes up again and now they are beaming with awe. “I wanna grow up and be just like you one day!”

Zev’sonya feels like the kid just slapped her face. Yeah, must be crazy. She considers backing up in case it is contagious. Maybe it is brain-rot? Must be something serious, definitely. “What?”

“The Pyle heist! The Julita caper! The Aand sting! The Silver holdup!” The girl blurts out, increasingly excited. “They were all you.” A sharp gulp of breath is all she has time for before rambling on. “My dad goes away for work a lot of the time, but he always comes back with stories about you. When I was little, I didn’t think a twi’lek girl could be captain of a crew, but he said I was wrong and that’s when he told me about Zev’sonya Lee Lewna. The Pirate Queen! And Mose, her best friend and second in command!”

That’s when Zev’sonya notices that the stuffed doll the girl is holding on to is not something she’s seen for sale at any marked she’s been to. It is a home-made creation; a yellow hutt with brown stripes and big eyes. It is quite raggedy from being brought along to wherever this kid goes. For some reason, the sight of the clear replica of Mose makes Zev’sonya’s heart clench.

“All my sisters do is talk about meeting a prince and getting married and living in his castle, but they also claim that there are no nice hutts, so you know they’re stupidheads. I don’t wanna marry a prince, I wanna be a pirate, like you.” The girl declares with gusto. She swings her doll forward and holds it up for her to see. “I only have Hose right now. But one day I’ll run into a hutt who is nice, like Mose, and they will be on my crew and we’ll go on adventures all over the Galaxy..”

Zev’sonya has no idea what to say to that. Her brain is spinning at how unreal the situation is.

Lowering the toy, the girl tilts her head and studies the blaster hanging by Zev’sonya’s hip before she scans the blades strapped to her thighs. “My dad won’t let me shoot one yet, but I’m really good with my slingshot.”

“That’s… nice.” Zev’sonya awkwardly mumbles. She hears a quiet rumble of amusement from behind her and Mose is clearly handling this better than she is. But that’s because he’s nice and she isn’t! She’s no role-model. She’s a result of a cruel Galaxy. This kid shouldn’t-

“Is it true you even have a human on your crew now?” The little fiend seems far more shocked by this than Zev’sonya travelling around with a hutt by her side.

“Ye-es….” Zev’sonya replies, not sure why she is giving her answers instead of directions back to her family or spraying her with water to make her go away. How does she know about Leo too?!

“Hey, would you mind…” The girl starts, digging into her own pocket for something that she pulls up with a triumphant look on her face. “Signing this?”

The shocks keeps on coming today because Zev’sonya finds herself looking at the unrolling of a wanted poster of her and Mose. It’s an old one. Three or four years ago? That is really not a flattering picture of her. Yikes. Does she really look like that? She's never leaving the ship again.

Mose chortles from behind her.

Ok, this must be some kind of weird dream. Has to be. This can’t be real. No way.

When all Zev’sonya does is stare, the girl gives the poster a brief, suggestive shake.

“Sure.” Mose says, reaching by Zev’sonya and taking the poster to sign it.

Zev’sonya half-turns to stare at him with no small amount of disbelief that only grows when she sees the smile he’s trying in vain to fight off. He’s far too amused by this. Once he’s scribbled down his letters on the holo-surface, he hands it to her with an expectant look on his face.

Scowling, Zev’sonya hesitates for only half a second before signing it and turning to hand it back to the girl. “Here.”

“Thank you!” She says, beaming even more brightly despite how it shouldn’t be possible.

“Sure.” Zev’sonya clears her throat. “Now, go back to your father and don’t wander off again. Okay?”

“Okay.” The girl declares with zero hesitation and endless cheerfulness. “But when I get a little older, can I come work for you? Mom says I should focus on my dancing or singing, but that’s boring, so can I? Pretty please? Can I?”

Trying hard to ignore the long, rumbling chuckle she hears from Mose, Zev’sonya crosses her arms. “Give it ten to fifteen years, if you still feel the same, sure.” She doubts she’ll see this kid again, but there is still something about her that prods Zev’sonya to say the next words. “Just remember, being a twi’lek doesn’t mean you have to sing and dance. You do what you want to do with your life. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Even your mother. You can be whatever you put your mind to.”

Despite how it shouldn’t be possible, the girl’s face grow even brighter with happiness. “I’m going to be just like you!”

Wait, no t-that is not what she meant, absolutely not, but the girl takes off running towards her father and sisters before Zev’sonya can correct her. Then, after the cretin is reunited with her sisters, pointing towards her and Mose and clearly bragging, Zev’sonya spins around to leave in a hurry as their father finally catches on to something happening behind him and turns to investigate. Time to get back to the ship.

Mose is still chuckling when she stalks by him.

“Shut up.” Zev’sonya growls. Her face burns.

Mose outrights laughs.

“I will stab you in the eye!” She threatens, in vain as it has no effect whatsoever.

Back at the ship, Nohr is waiting by the open ramp. The nikto is standing guard and seems very ready for them to leave. He’s the impatient one on the crew. “We good to go?”

“We’re leaving.” Zev’sonya declares as she marches into the ship with Mose right behind her. “Now.”

The ramp starts closing behind them and Zev’sonya knows she should head up to the cockpit and have Bea’tah initiate take-off right away, but on the way she has to walk by the door to her quarters and she can’t help the way her gaze lingers on it.

“Lorda.” Mose says, now all quiet and gentle, stopping by the door. “I’ll head up. You go in.”

Zev’sonya pauses and glares at him.

Mose nods. His eyes are too mild. “You are the captain, Lorda. I know. You decide.” He’s indulging her bad temper and they both know it. “But I can handle the ship and you should check up on him.”

Hesitating, Zev’sonya is torn between her usual dislike of being told what to do and the fact that she actually wants to go inside that room. What happened earlier had left her with a knot in her belly, and now that twi’lek kid has made her head a mess too…

“Go.” Mose encourages. “I got this.”

She does not doubt that for a second. She trusts him without a shadow of a doubt and because of that, she can allow herself to be weak this one time. Zev’sonya exhales and gives in. “Fine.”

Mose nods again, relieved. “Good.” He shuffles by her. “It’s a seventeen hour journey to our next stop, remember? You might as well get some rest while you’re in there.”

“Mind my ship, not my business.” Zev’sonya snipes, uncomfortable. Mose is always looking out for her despite how she’s supposed to keep him safe. A captain watches over her crew, not the other way around. Mose never seems to get that into his head.

“Yes, Lorda.” He replies with ease, clearly not intending to heed her words at all. And people call her the stubborn one?

Stepping inside the room, Zev’sonya leans back against the door and pauses for a bit to take in the sight that greets her.

Lying on his back, arms by his sides, Leo is still fast asleep on the bed. As expected. As he should be. This morning’s attack had come out of nowhere and for several seconds that had felt like years, Zev’sonya had been convinced that the medicine had suddenly stopped working and that he would die in front of her. She had not felt so afraid and helpless since Mose was poisoned.

Taking a deep breath, Zev’sonya pushes herself away from the door and walks over to sit down next to Leo. He looks pale, but peaceful. No fear. Nothing like during the incident. He’s breathing deep and slow. She takes his hand in hers and forces herself to smile. “You’re going to be so angry when you hear you missed out on meeting someone as crazy as you.” His hand is warm and the contact feels reassuring so she places her other hand over his. “This twi’lek kid, she came right up to me and Mose and started talking to us. No sense of self-preservation.” Zev’sonya breathes a faint laugh of reluctant admiration. “No brain.” She shakes her head, weirdly… flattered? “You would have liked her. She said…”

- I wanna grow up and be just like you one day!

While Zev’sonya knows she’s anything but a role model, the idea that a twi’lek girl might break free from the booth others want to put her in, or even give a deserving hutt a chance because she heard stories about Zev’sonya and Mose, it is dangerously uplifting. And though the girl has horrible taste in heroes and the odds stacked high against her even before she starts her journey, Zev’sonya hopes she makes it. She really hopes she makes it.

Hmm, Leo is going to be a dreadful nightmare when he hears about this. (He won’t hear it from her but Mose is definitely going to tell him. Those two love to conspire against her.) His old nickname is going to be used a lot. “She said something crazy.” Zev’sonya says, easing down to lie next to the sleeping Leo. Everything in her wants to curl up close, wrap herself around him, place her head on his chest and listen to him breathe, but she only allows herself to hold on to his hand. It’s not much, but it’s more than what she’s allowed herself in the past. “You’re going to love it.”

The ship gently shudders as they take off and head towards the stars. Technically it is barely mid-day where they are right now, but the standard time teller tells Zev’sonya the ship will swap to night-mode soon and she realizes Mose must have known as he told her to get some rest. The different time zones between parsecs, even between some planets, can leave a traveller severely sleep deprived if one is not careful and that could get you killed in Zev’sonya’s line of work.

Fine. Sleep it is. For purely practical reasons.

Zev’sonya absently runs her index finger back and forth over Leo’s warm hand as she quietly starts listing up names of people she’s never met, except for one. Even if she’d been ignorant of Hauroko’s fate, Zev’sonya would have known it is souls Leo has lost from the grief she feels radiating from him every evening when he speaks their names. She suspects it is his way of keeping them alive in memory at least and as he won’t be able to tonight, Zev’sonya will keep them alive for him.

Zev’sonya Lee Lewna is not a hero. She’s not even a good person. But she is curled up next to one.

-

[blackbutlerfandomnerddomain]

Some personal headcanons of the Twisted Wonderland beta Designs:

Heartslabyul:

Beta-Riddle:

As mentioned, I get the vibe he's a bit bratty and too arrogant or spoiled, wither it's his birth or how his dorm treats him I dunno

Gives me sassy vibes

He gives me vibes of SIX's song "Get Down"

I have zero idea but the idea of shipping him and Beta Azul is cute

Like picture Fizz as Beta Riddle and Ozzy as Beta Azul doing normal morning schedules, cuddling and joking, and if Beta Riddle got hurt Beta Azul would be a worry wert/true mafia boss if the mafia vibes are canon (I also see him originally a lot more like Ursula)

Video editing by me btw

Everyone in his dorm loves him in different ways as I lowkey see our Riddle being kind of more based off Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland with his main core of why he's focus is cause he wants to be loved

Beta Ace:

More or less the same but the vibe I get from him is more a performer like a Disney employee.

You know how in that past I said this song was playing while writing the post? Well I can see him doing this whole thing of the scene during an assembly for shits and giggles

sorry i reference this movie twice, it's a good movie-

He's the one who will most likely be the next dorm leader after Beta Riddle

Beta Deuce:

Dere-dere

Super serious

Would be offended with our Deuce lol

Most likely look good when his hair is down

Beta Trey:

More or less the same as now's canon

I get the vibe he's like the Twst's universe's version of the Queen's knave

Beta Cater:

Again, more or less the same as canon Cater

I get the vibe he was Riddle's childhood bestie than Trey

Savanaclaw:

Beta Leona:

Though this SUPER BLURRY pic I get the vibe he's way more arrogant than what we got now

Has way more Scar's sass we were blessed with in the movie

Why do I get the vibe he and the Beta Savanaclaw were in a open relationship???

Beta Ruggie:

That one annoying kid who anime moans in the back of the classroom

The itty bitty bean

Probably more eager to follow Leona than the actual duo in canon

Beta Jack:

GIVES ME DIFFERENT VIBES THAN HIS TSUNDERE SELD WE HAVE NOW

Will pick up people without warning or question

Drinks those weird smoothy drinks from the grocery stores with kale and garlic and shit for athletic stuff

Octavinelle:

Beta Azul:

More or less the same just more Ursula???

Openly calls the Tweels his "poopsies"

Spends way too much money on stupid shit he doesn't need or want

Has way more people in his dept

Sings a lot in his lounge or casino or whatever, most this song

Beta Jade and Floyd:

The same person but one's left and the other's right

Silently but scary

Think my Ray twins OCs

Scarabia:

Beta Kalim:

Most like Aladdin

Maybe him and Jamil didn't know each other before NRC and rivaled until Kalim lied about being a prince and wins Dorm Head

Has the best parkcore skills

Sweet bean deep down

Has a weakness to shiny things

Beta Jamil:

Maybe was actually Dorm Leader instead of Kalim???

Was more sassy as Jafar

Has a Iago type of henchmen somewhere

Totally has sexual frustrations to Kalim like "Stupid sexy Kalim and his stupid handsome face-"

Pomfiore:

Beta Vil:

SUPER ARRAGANT

Looks like he'd say schedule as "sheddjual"

Also gives me SIX's Get Down vibes

Will throw his wine glass at you if you offend him somehow

Too glued to the mirror

Beta Rook:

Based off the Magic Mirror in my opinion

Somehow even more arrant than Vil

Will be very toxic if he wants to be

A lot like Gretchen Weiners from Mean Girls towards Vil

Beta Epel:

Either a girl or crossdresser

A literal tease who starts romance drama but flirting and crying after like "He's picking on me and being weird"

I kind of think this one would have a lip gloss that is addictive to those who taste it from her kiss

Ignyhide:

Beta Idia:

I was informed by @bestmannequin2018 and @porcelain-animatronic kindly in my original post, it seems this is Beta Idia and he's the youngest of the whole cast who skipped many grades cause of his big smart brain

I feel like he's more cocky than our Idia

Has super bad anger issues

Diamonia:

Beta Malleus:

Sexy sexy cocky arrant man

Very childish especially when he loses

Gets really petty real fast

Is very scary when mad

Looks scary but everyone in his dorm knows he's a cry baby

Beta Lilia:

Super childish

Is literally more daddy than our Lilia somehow

I think he was meant to be the raven in Maleficent

Beta Silver/Beta Sebek:

I only do them together cause I really can't tell who's who

Very different than they are now

I think Silver is thorns

Sebek is still thunder

I would be shocked if they are all cis and straight

[justforbooks]

The Proof of My Innocence by Jonathan Coe

This tricksy caper ranges from 1980s Cambridge to the rise and fall of Liz Truss with entertaining results

Well, it worked for Richard Osman. Twenty-three-year-old Phyl, stuck in her parents’ house with an English degree and a zero-hours job in a sushi chain, is wondering how hard it could be to write a cosy crime novel. “Death in a Thatched Cottage? The Beach Hut Murders? The Flapjack Poisonings?” As another character points out, it’s bizarre that violent homicide has been rebranded as “cosy”. “It’s very British, in some indefinable way.”

Jonathan Coe, the laureate of Britishness, sets his 15th novel against a particularly wobbly period of national history: the short-lived ascendancy of Liz Truss and the death of the Queen in autumn 2022. It is indeed a happily playful and nicely satisfying slice of cosy crime, scattered with clues and red herrings, locked‑room mysteries, teetering cliffhangers and stagily withheld information. Before she is shocked out of her apathy by a sudden death, Phyl also considers trying her hand at the genres of dark academia and auto­fiction, and accordingly one section of the book is a memoir of mysterious goings-on in a Cambridge college in the 1980s, and another a report in real time of a search for a rare book, with two narrators who can’t agree on whether to use the present or the past tense (“fake and embarrassing”).

There’s a lot going on, and Coe marshals it all with ingenious ease. As ever, the real target – the savagery behind the cosiness – is the amoral individualism and free-market greed of those with power and privilege, first excoriated in 1994’s What a Carve Up! Here, rightwingers gather at a country house hotel for the TrueCon conference, delighting in the elevation of Truss and Kwasi Kwarteng. Alongside the culture war comedy of speeches such as “Britain’s Real Pandemic: The Woke Mind-Virus” is the serious business: big money jostling to get in on the carving up of the NHS.

Blogger Christopher Swann, a friend of Phyl’s mother from their Cambridge days, has been investigating the incursion of the far right into the political centre for decades, only to be dismissed as a paranoid fantasist: officially, the plans are never to privatise the NHS, only to “streamline” it. As we see in the memoir of another Cambridge friend, describing his culture shock on arriving there as a northern state school kid, these covert networks of power have been spreading since the days of Thatcher and Reagan.

The political mystery – is there a smoking gun that will reveal a plot to destroy the NHS – plays second fiddle to a literary one: the fate of an obscure writer from the 1980s. Peter Cockerill was that extremely rare phenomenon, a rightwing novelist, furious to be punished for his politics with exclusion from the glamorous gang of Rushdie, Amis, McEwan et al. And the solution to the mystery, as the title suggests, rests on a proof (copy) of My Innocence, the book in which he renounced fiction for good.

Coe enjoys himself satirising literary fashions, creative jealousy and the inevitable passing of time, with a bittersweet nostalgia for his own youth, when society was seduced by money, and the books world by Martin Amis’s Money. He gives himself a walk-on part in the Cambridge section as Tommy Cope, an ineffectual English student mainly known for writing incredibly bad poetry who later surprises his peers by achieving “modest success” with the “mildly satirical” Quite the Mash-Up.

Modest, mild: Coe is only too aware of his own understated – even cosy – reputation. His fiction has always ranged gentle, decent souls against headbangers and maniacs, and Phyl is no exception. Amid the literary fun and games, there’s a deeply sad note as she muses on the dog-eat-dog Britain wrought by the events of the last 40 years: “How is someone like me supposed to survive in a world like this? Everything that defines me is unsuited for it. My passivity. My idealism. My innocence. I just don’t have what it takes.” Phyl’s parents, too, are passive and shoulder-shrugging in the face of the political insult of Liz Truss: “Prime ministers come and go,” sighs her dad. The old have run out of energy and indignation; the young feel stuck in hopelessness and inertia, retreating from the world, as Phyl does, under the comfort blanket of endless episodes of Friends: a safe, pre-smartphone universe feeding off “nostalgia for a time before we were born”.

This is the context in which Coe plumbs the disconnect between Truss’s appointment as PM and the general bafflement that greets it, threading her speeches through the narrative along with the infuriating transport announcement “See it. Say it. Sorted”, a grating real-world soundtrack to his metafictional hijinks. His previous novel Bournville caught the national mood during historical highlights from the 1953 coronation to the wedding of Charles and Diana; here there’s a great set piece focusing on mourners filing past the royal coffin: the nation brought together by two of its favourite things, queueing and the Queen.

Another Coe tic is the piece of art, whether film or music, often glimpsed or heard in childhood and ever after treasured, coming to represent something more than mere nostalgia: a secret world behind the world. In Middle England it was the song Adieu to Old England: “One of the most eerie and melancholy English folk tunes ever written,” thinks Benjamin Trotter. Here it’s the “haunting and wistful” ballad Lord Randall, borrowed by Bob Dylan for the structure of A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall, which raises goose bumps in all who hear it and is more deeply embedded in a central character than ever before.

Coe’s subject may be inertia and nostalgia, but The Proof of My Innocence is full of energy. It’s a madcap caper, a sideways memoir, a tricksy jeu d’esprit that is also a quiet defence of fiction in a post-truth age, and enormous fun to read.

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?

[burningexeter]

The Wildwood Universe

What is it —

A headcanon shared universe of all these different kinds of media from all genres that take place in the same universe. Different places, different times and most of all, different tones.

• Wildwood (2025)

• The Night Gardener (LAIKA)

• Oz (HBO)

• The Wire

• Breaking Bad

— Better Call Saul

— El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie

• Sons Of Anarchy

— Mayans MC

• The West Wing

• The X Files (the first nine seasons)

— Millennium

— The Lone Gunmen

— Fight The Future

• Buffy The Vampire Slayer

— Angel

• Seinfeld

• Malcolm In The Middle

• Arrested Development (the first three seasons)

• Drake & Josh

— Drake & Josh Go Hollywood

— Merry Christmas, Drake & Josh

• Freaks & Geeks

• Undeclared

• My So-Called Life

• Dawson's Creek

• Party Of Five

• Skins (U.K.)

• Shameless (U.S.)

• Black Books

• The Office (U.S.)

• Parks and Recreation

• Modern Family

• Weeds (the first three or six seasons)

• Orange Is The New Black

• The Venture Bros.

— Radiant Is The Blood Of The Baboon Heart

• LOST

• Heroes

• Fringe

• Pushing Daisies

• Hannibal (NBC)

• Todd McFarlane's Spawn Trilogy (HBO)

• Baccano! (English Dub)

• Hellsing Ultimate (English Dub)

— The Dawn (English Dub)

• Black Lagoon (English Dub)

• Monster (English Dub)

• Death Note (English Dub)

• Durarara!! (English Dub)

— Durarara!! x2 (English Dub)

• Attack On Titan (English Dub)

• A Certain Magical Index (English Dub)

— A Certain Scientific Railgun (English Dub)

— A Certain Scientific Accelerator (English Dub)

— The Miracle Of Endymon (English Dub)

• Chuck (NBC)

• Brooklyn Nine-Nine

• NYPD Blue

• 24

— Live Another Day

• Prison Break (the first two seasons)

• Twin Peaks (Original Series)

— Fire Walk With Me

— The Return

• Tales From The Crypt (HBO)

— The first five episodes of Season 1

— Cutting Cards, The Thing From The Grave, The Sacrifice, For Cryin' Out Loud, Four-Sided Triangle, Judy, You're Not Yourself Today, Fitting Punishment, Lower Berth, Mute Witness To Murder & Television Terror

— Abra Cadaver, Top Billing, Easel Kill Ya, Undertaking Palor, Deadline & Yellow

— None But The Lonely Heart, On A Deadman's Chest, Beauty Rest, What's Cookin', The New Arrival, Showdown, King Of The Road, Maniac At Large, Split Personality & Strung Along

— Forever Ambergris, People Who Live In Brass Hearses, Two For The Show, Well Cooked Hams, Came The Dawn & Half-Way Horrible

— Only Skin Deep, The Bribe, The Assassin, Staired In Horror, Surprise Party & You, Murderer

— Fatal Caper, Escape, Horror In The Night, Cold War, The Kidnapper, Report From The Grave & Confession

• Thief (1981)

• Heat (1995)

• Reservoir Dogs

• True Romance

• Natural Born Killers

• Pulp Fiction

• Kill Bill Vol. 1 & 2

• Inglourious Basterds

• Django Unchained

• The Hateful Eight

• From Dusk Till Dawn

• Trick r Treat

• Krampus

• Doctor Who (1963 - 2017)

— Doctor Who: The Movie (1996)

— Torchwood

— The Sarah Jane Adventures

— Class (2016)

• Good Omens (Amazon Prime)

• Friday The 13th (1980) & A Nightmare On Elm Street (1984)

— Part 2

— Part 3

— The Final Chapter

— Jason Lives

— The New Blood

— Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday

— Freddy's Revenge

— Dream Warriors

— The Dream Master

— The Dream Child

— Freddy Vs. Jason

• The Evil Dead Trilogy

— Ash Vs. Evil Dead

• The People Under The Stairs

• Nightbooks (2021)

• Dog Soldiers

• Big Trouble In Little China

• Overlord (2018)

• Scream Queens

• Nip/Tuck

• Remedy Connected Universe

— Alan Wake

— Alan Wake II

— Control

• Borderlands (2009)

— Borderlands 2

— Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel

— Tales From The Borderlands

— Borderlands 3

— New Tales From The Borderlands

— Tiny Tina's Wonderlands

• Silent Hill (1999)

— Silent Hill 2

— Silent Hill 3

— Silent Hill 4: The Room

• Misfits

• Veronica Mars (Original Series)

— Veronica Mars (2014)

— Veronica Mars (Hulu)

• Bones

• Castle

• Attack The Block (2011)

• E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial

• Family Matters

• The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air

• Martin

• The Bernie Mac Show

• Pair Of Kings

• Beverly Hills Cop

— Beverly Hills Cop II

— Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F

• Rush Hour

— Rush Hour 2

• Friday (1995)

— Next Friday

— Friday After Next

• The 'Burbs

• Heathers

• Hot Fuzz

• Dead Like Me

• Wonderfalls

• Death Becomes Her

• Nope (2022)

• Close Encounters Of The Third Kind

• The Secret Of NIMH (1982)

• Contact (1997)

• Flatliners (1990)

• Rango (2011)

• The Spiderwick Chronicles (2008)

• The Mummy (1999)

— The Mummy Returns

• The Jungle Book (1994)

• The Invisible Man (2020)

• Wolf Man (2025)

• Ginger Snaps

— Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed

• Let Me In (2010)

• Erma (Webcomic Series)

• Keeper Of The Lost Cities (Animated Series)

• MirrorMasks

• Gargoyles (Reboot)

• Huntik (Reboot)

• W.I.T.C.H. (Reboot)

• Walking Dead: The Animation

• The Dark Harvest (Animated Series)

• Knightriders (1981)

• Bioshock

— Bioshock 2

— Bioshock Infinite

• Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare (2019)

— Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare II (2022)

• John Wick

— John Wick: Chapter 2

— John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum

— John Wick: Chapter 4

• Atomic Blonde

• Nobody (2021)

• Shaolin Soccer

• The Adventures Of Tintin (2011)

• Titanfall 2

• Snatch (2000)

And that is literally not even all of it.

It will continue, just give me some more time.