#Pyrrha's 18 by the way

[theriverbeyond]

Rated E (18+) | 4.8k words

“I’m not a child, Pyrrha,” he says. Cam’s face is pulled into a scowl, and you like the way the skin between his eyes furrows. It’s different from how Cam does it, and you think it’s cute, and painfully endearing. “I’m—shit. I’m twenty-two, if you count the years post-mortem. Twenty if you don’t, and House age of majority is eighteen regardless.” “I was twenty-two long before the Resurrection, ten thousand years ago,” you reply. The eggs you’re trying to cook sizzle. “You’re too young for me, Sextus."

This fic was written for Fandom Trumps Hate 2024 (@fandomtrumpshate) as a gift to thank @beyoncesfiancee for her donation to Palestine Children's Relief Fund.

FEATURING:

Pal/Pyrrha, ft background Cam/Pal/Pyrrha dynamics!

What if we were both stuck in a body that didn't fit our gender OR necro/cav alignment.... and we were both on New Rho👉👈!

Notable Cougar Hunter Palamedes Sextus!

Psychosexual roleplaying AND bad meals!

Background Nona antics!

Wild speculation on how DIY hormones might interact with a Lyctoral Body!

The ever present shadow of grief!

[n1ghtwr1ter]

At the end of my latest TLT reread and it’s been physically painful attempting to read the last 40+ pages of Nona. Like, the short shrift that Gideon/Kiriona gets given by the people in the story…the theoretical good guys who honestly only see her as a thing, as a means to an end with an inconvenient dead soul attached to it… It makes me want to rip my own heart out of my chest.

Nobody has cared about Gideon her whole life. Most people, in fact, if they remembered about her at all, went out of their way to tell her how much they wished she didn’t exist. In the final chapters of Gideon, she finally gets the thing she’s been desperate for her whole life: somebody telling her that they need her, they care that she exists, and they badly want her to go on doing it. This allows her to make peace with the prospect that at the ripe old age of 18, she needs to die so that that person can go on living and living and living, using the castrated remnants of her soul as fuel to do so. Not a great way to go, but at least Gideon would get to be useful to somebody, would get to be remembered for something.

And then she wakes up in the wrong body, and finds out that her sacrifice - her attempt to be useful in the most selfless way possible, in that her self will no longer exist - has been rejected. And not only that, but the person she tried to give herself to - the one who was supposed to care about her - went to extreme lengths to make completely sure that she no longer remembered about Gideon.

She literally cut Gideon out of her brain.

And now, drifting along in the worst sort of half life where she’s inhabiting her body but it’s no longer really hers, in very obvious fashion - there’s holes in it, her heart is missing, and it’s got her shitty father’s handprints all over it (not even touching how much of a violation that is), indelibly - she finally meets back up with the small group of people who could theoretically be relied upon to be glad to see her again.

But then the one who was supposed to care about her most tries to kiss her (massively OOC for Harrow), and turns out to not even be there - it’s some weird baby inhabiting her body, and doing a really shit job of it too. The rest of them won’t stop talking about how they need her to break into the Tomb - as if she was just another key, same as the ones they worked together to acquire in Canaan House, just bigger and more inconvenient - and/or how they both fucked and killed her mom, who also (surprise, surprise) wished that Gideon had never existed, but saw her as a thing that needed to be done for the good of the mission.

Ultimately, they all make it abundantly clear - Palamedes, Camilla, Pyrrha, and especially Nona, all these people who are supposed to be kind and good and right - that they would prefer she wasn’t there. That it just be her body, with no Gideon attached - at least not Gideon the way she is now, broken and rejected and miserable. They would all far have preferred that she not have her own inconvenient thoughts and feelings and desires and impulses - that she just be inanimate and let the important people, the grown ups, get things done.

They wish she didn’t exist. Same as everybody else in her life, save one, and now she’s left wondering whether Harrow really meant it at all. Because if she did, she wouldn’t have left Gideon to Kiriona’s fate.

And honestly? Really, truly? I know everybody in the fandom loves Pal and Cam and Nona and Pyrrha, but in the end I couldn’t give less of a shit about them. They are fucking side characters, and as intriguing as Nona has been from a worldbuilding standpoint, I ultimately resent having been forced to read 400+ pages of filler bullshit about fucking side characters. I am a butch, and I’m here for my sarcastic, loving, angry, vulnerable, forgiving, and yes, inconvenient sword butch. I’m here for Gideon. But Gideon has been fridged for the last two books of the series in which she is supposed to be a, if not the, main character.

And it feels like almost nobody else in the fandom feels the same way, which, fine. I’m used to that. I’m also used to being told I’m projecting; and I’m used to being told that I’m inconvenient too, in my thoughts and my opinions and the mere fact of my existence. I spent the first eighteen years of my life being told I was inconvenient. Yet another point of overidentification with Gideon.

But in case anybody still thinks that Nona proves that Gideon was an asshole all along, think about all of the above. Think about how it would make you feel to come back from not just death but from the erasure of your existence, something you chose in order to save the life of someone you loved, and be told that you’re inconvenient. Think about how you’d feel if you’d been told all your life that it would be better for everyone if you didn’t exist. And then tell me that Kiriona isn’t in the right and that I should give a rat’s ass what happens to literally anybody else.

It’s Kiriona Hours up in this House, butches. We’ve spent long enough caring about people who would prefer we weren’t around. For once in our entire lives we were told we were important; we were told we mattered; we were told we were the main character. We were going to, if not get the girl and save the world, at least get to do something real, something important, something like being the hero.

But that’s over now; we’re back to being wrong and bad and inconvenient thanks to the simple fact of our existence. So it’s time to embrace it. Let’s be a little shit. Let’s be kind of a dick. Let’s have our own agenda, let’s play our cards close to our heartless chest, let’s allow our circle of empathy to contract to ourselves and maybe one more person. That’s where I’m at right now. And I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

[starberry-cupcake]

I've been reading, but didn't have time to sit down and do this, so you're getting a bit of a mess in this one, sorry about that!

I want to clarify, before starting, that if I ask questions to the void in these posts, or if I wonder very loudly about something, I'm not really looking for answers immediately nor am I doubting that things will be explained later, I promise I trust the process. If something's going to be explained, somewhere in the books, I'll get there eventually, I promise I will. You have probably noticed by now but, if you give me a hint, I'm gonna grab onto it for dear life, so better not give me anything at all. Just leave me here to die, I beg you.

previously, in harrowberry the ninth:

this happened

currently, chapters 17-19:

I'm gonna start by the end, actually

which maybe is fitting for this book

but I'll start by the end because I have a new theory and I feel this one in my bones

(pun intended)

I might be totally off but I'm gonna say it anyway because I'm excited about this one

so much so that you'll get no memes while I explain it

it's about G and P

yes, I know, I'm fixated with that, but hear me out

I think Lyctortus isn't actually called Ortus

I think his name is Gideon

let me explain

at the end of chapter 19 (I'll get there, but I need this off my chest, I really do) harrow asks mercygirl why ortus the first wants her dead

to which mercygirl distractedly answers "who?"

that's the last thing I read so far, but it got my wheels turning so fast I came running to write it down

I thought "wait, what if, just like ortus is replacing gideon in the gideon-less re-telling, the name is also a replacement?"

so I went to the character list and lyctortus's cavalier was called pyrrha

so what if they're G and P

Gideon and Pyrrha the Second

and what if the Gideon in the paper was this guy

so this is not a case of Ortus 1 and 2 but of Gideon 1 and 2

not!dulcinea told our gideon "you're very brave—a bit like another Gideon I used to know. But you're prettier in the eyes"

which is, all things considered, actually funny, because it's a reversal of what mercygirl was saying, that yandere twin and harrow aren't as pretty as their predecessors

I'm gonna risk looking like a fool later and calling this now because I really feel this one

again, let me clarify, I'm not asking you to tell me whether I'm right or wrong or anything at all, I'm just placing my bets with myself

and I know starting by the end isn't really the best way to go about a recap, but I think I'm on to something

MOVING BACK, to chapter 17

harrow starts looking into mercygirl for her new and probably not improved diary, because she knows less things now

augustine the saint of annoyance tells harrow that mercygirl and him are the oldest lyctors in the band and that it took generations for these space planet destroyers to assemble

emperor john silver tells harrow that his stupid nicknames that don't fit were meant to represent the cavaliers and not the necros

of course augustine's brother was patient, he had to put up with augustine

mercygirl is also a body expert

an anatomist, if you will

which will come in handy later/earlier (later in the reading order, earlier in the timeline order)

augustine says that he didn't bother learning that because the only use for it would be to kill lyctors

tbh it'd come in handy right now that I want to kill him, but I digress

here, harrow again mentions that ortus the first (also known as lyctortus, also known as allegedly gideon the first, also known as I'm super super sure of this you guys) wants her dead

CHAPTER 18

we're back on canaan house in the gideon-less version

these are the chapters I'm having the most fun with, which wasn't what I expected

I don't know why, I really like this whole re-written mystery thing

the slasher film vibes have doubled this time

I keep drawing parallels and enjoying my time with these old and new friends

and, talking about old and new friends, judith is dead

remember judith? remember how she died?

it wasn't like this

in this gideon-less version, instead of becoming besties with the sixth, harrow and ortus have become besties with the fifth

because 1) the fifth didn't die and 2) the fifth is in a polycule with ortus

with gideon there, they befriended the sixth because gideon saw camilla fight 5 seconds and was like "she's friend shaped :)"

so, the fifth and the ninth are taking care of judith's corpse

she was shot repeatedly with a carbine rifle

harrow says "it would have been like being set upon by a ghost out of time"

gonna put that in the 3d model

martita is outside and she's the only pseudo witness to this situation

the gideon-less version of the deaths so far is being handled like this

martita says to harrowbean "why am I here?"

she explains that they were doing the two door test thingy and, while she was in the other room, judith was shot

now, here's the thing

I thought the Sleeper that had been mentioned was the construct thing but no, it's not

it's a new thing

I'm picturing sorta this

it very well could be a person though

it's person shaped

huh

it's in a coffin where it sleeps unless it's woken up, but they don't know how it wakes up, because martita went to town kicking and punching the coffin after judith was obliterated and nothing happened

and what keeps it contained, snow white style, isn't plex glass, plex or glass

ortus proceeds to say a eulogy

martita says "Is this really how it happens?" like we've been hearing all this time

harrowbean tries to make her feel better by telling her that, at least judith died quickly

mmm...about that

martita says "No. That's not...Don't know why I thought...No."

martita doesn't know judith died slowly and painfully and wrong about everything btw, she died first, it memory serves

but still, savage

harrow regrets not telling ortus to take the pledge of silence and says "but only a very obedient idiot of a cavalier would have stuck to that"

she's your obedient idiot, though, harrow

so, the rundown is this:

the sleeper can move

the sleeper can pass necromantic wards

the sleeper shouldn't be waken

people don't know what wakes it

it has a rifle

the sleeper is lying on top of sword that's a two-hander

me, having breakfast while reading this

I didn't mention this but

harrow and abby say that judith was killed by a deadly shot and then was subsequently used for target practice and left like a colander without any reason for it

judith disrespected camilla, so

that's what you get, bitch

CHAPTER 19

we travel in time, but in the timeline of the emperor's bolthole

because WHY NOT, AT THIS POINT

we're keeping track anyway *picks back up the timeline I keep discarding and re-using*

this one is 10 months before the emperor johnny boy is ended, so this is before what we've been reading

we are told the following essential info:

harrow has written a letter for yandere twin in case of harrow's death that says: "Get what joy you can from my corpse, you devious bitch"

filed under potential resignation letter drafts

apparently a lyctor can live without food but not without water

so harrowcita is getting herself a sopita

and then lyctortus also known as I'm sure he's gideon the first stabs her

this tiny baby kitten with her sopita

man has no heart

no decency

no decorum

not his real name, according to me

mercygirl helps harrow with a lot of skill (those anatomy skills we talked about) but not much empathy

she tells alleged gideon who goes by ortus, when he says "I do things face-to-face" that "that is what got you into trouble nineteen years ago"

HELLO TIMELINE

nineteen years ago takes us back to the whole leader of the BOE going missing and gideon's mom drifting into space and the person sent with the eggs and all that

well, the eggs thing isn't directly related yet but I'm relating it

especially since there were lies involved and somebody sent to placate another somebody

DUDE CAN YOU IMAGINE

IF HE WAS INVOLVED WITH GIDEON'S MOM IN SOME WAY

AND OUR GIDEON IS NAMED AFTER THIS GIDEON????

LIKE ON PURPOSE????

HELLO?????????

AGAIN, NOBODY TELL ME, I'M ASKING AT THE VOID

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE IMPULSE OF TELLING ME BUT DON'T DO IT

I'm making up telenovela theories about how this gideon could be involved into our gideon's mom business and our gideon being named after him

and gideon's superpowers of being hercules having something to do with all this

I need to stop before I say too much and then feel embarrassed at my theories

ALSO

gideon ortus wants harrow's sword

harrowbean doesn't want to give it to him

it is at this point when mercygirl says "who?" at harrow's question about "ortus", so we end how we begun, because today it's that kind of day

also, another day without her coming home

I may be late but boy do I have theories. And yeah, nobody tell me any spoilers, please. Let me make a fool of myself.

[lemon-natalia]

Nona the Ninth Reaction - John 5:18 

‘it was the first time anyone had ever done it’ imagine trying to explain the concept of how weird and fucked up necromancy would be pre-Resurrection to anyone in the Nine Houses, it would be very hard

M—’s relatable, if my co-worker developed a sudden case of necromancy i would need a shot of whisky as well. also P—’s (who is presumably Pyrrha) first reaction is to think that it’s a zombie apocalypse, thats insane

okay, so John explicitly states here that Ulysses and Titania are properly dead, just like Harrow’s puppeted parents, he doesn’t seem to have resurrected their souls. but then clearly everyone he did bring back to life at the Resurrection did, given the Nine Houses society … exists and isn’t made up of dead people without souls. so i imagine there’s one of two options here - either the Resurrection didn’t happen as everyone believes (very possible given this guy has been proven to be a lying liar who lies), or he does somehow end up figuring out proper resurrection

also M— and A— raided a graveyard to get more corpses to experiment on, holy shit. get yourself ride-or-die friends like these. or maybe don’t since in 10,000 years they’ll try to murder you via secret baby

i’m sorry, their next move was to livestream John resurrecting dead bodies??? also given how he singles the internet out here as a way to make a ‘big noise’ and not get hushed up/literally taken out by any authorities, it feels very intentional that he apparently made the decision to not bring it back when creating the whole ‘intergalactic empire’ thing

Coded message reads: ‘THE/TOWER’ so far. very mysterious, i can’t really think of anything it could be related to rn though

[direquail]

One of the other things I think about from time to time is how. Camilla is 21? She was 20 in Gideon the Ninth. Palamedes died at 20, but continues to be around and accumulating experience. How likely is it that either of them had ever left the Sixth before?

So like, framing their idealism and their insistence that they have to save not only the Oversight Body but also all the House soldiers from the populace of New Rho and the populace of New Rho from the Resurrection Beast--

It's really easy to skim over because it draws on tropes or ideological perspectives that we as the audience are probably familiar with from other media. It feels Heroic(TM) in a way that's familiar, especially with Pyrrha's insistence that they have to just save themselves and those they really care for as a foil. But also, I don't think that Muir is going to tell that kind of story just... on accident or out of habit, so is there anything else that she could be saying? She already said that Harrow the Ninth is something like "gifted kid goes to college and struggles", and 21 is not a ton older than 18. It's still well within that college age.

Because like. They're 21. They're 21, there's never been a mystery they couldn't solve before, a riddle they couldn't figure out, given resources and a little time. Camilla is the best fighter on the Sixth. Palamedes may be one of the best necromancers the Sixth ever produced.

And they have, effectively, decided they're going to Solve War.

And like. It's not going well. Of course. Pyrrha's objections start to sound less like the voice of cynicism and more like a warning that they may have bitten off more than they can chew. They might have talent, and they might have audacity, but this is a fundamental Problem in the universe and some Very talented and powerful people have tried to fix it before and wrecked themselves on it.

And Camilla is 21. She's 21, she'd never left home before she was 20, and within a month of that, she'd lost the most important person in her life, the person she was sworn to protect, and been kidnapped by insurgents that she'd probably been aware of but also probably didn't know much about, concretely. The world came apart under her feet. She adapted, she tried to do the right thing--and then Blood of Eden betrayed them and held their entire House hostage.

And she's 21. She's 21. Sure, Nona thinks the world of her, and her House was willing to leave the Dominicus system and the Empire on the Master Warden's word, and he's a few months younger than her. Camilla is great! Awesome even! Badass, for sure! But she's also a fairly young adult. And their insistence on fixing everything starts to look different, in that light.

And even though Nona is so new (and so not human) she doesn't really comprehend the scale or the situation, Camilla is also. A young, extremely talented person who is out of her depth. Who has failed in her primary duty, and then led her people into a trap.

Sure, she's great a surviving. She is. Really, really good. She's not cocky for no reason. I don't think she should be infantilized.

She's just so human, and so young.

[onthecrescentofthehill]

g1deon and pyrrha + gideon and harrow throughlines scattered in all of tlt continue to drive me insane.

the initial investigation scenes post the 5th deaths where the 2nd house tries to pull cohort rank control of the situation, gideon & harrow immediately sneak away to learn that the winnowing trial was developed by the second house and cohort founders, g1deon & pyrrha. winnowing as incorporating the other, refusing distractions for the sake of true control, loyalty and duty.

gideon is wearing his sunglasses, rifling through their things. she doesn’t see it as a real place someone would live in, only a stop along the way to somewhere else, more whole.

she sees a gun on the wall that her mother's ghost will use the river memory of to try and kill harrow in the dream of cannan house:

It took Gideon a long time to realise that she was looking at something goddamn ancient: it was a blowback carbine gun. She’d only ever seen pictures. ….. The hairs on the back of Gideon’s neck had risen when the lights came on, and they hadn’t gone back down, as if her intrusion might well tempt time back to claim its grave goods. GTN chapter 19

Carbine rifle, read the key. For a moment she pitied Judith Deuteros’s last seconds. To be killed with this ancient piece of grave goods! It would have been like being set upon by a ghost out of time. HTN chapter 18

gideon reads "one flesh, one end" for the first time. she tells harrow these people were living in each others pockets, the same phrase she'll later use to describe the two of them. pyrrha spent nearly 10,000 years locked in a drawer in gideon the first’s mind bc he couldn't bear to let her go. gideon tells harrow how they feel like strangers despite growing up together.

harrow cant stand the thought and in less than a month harrow will lock gideon in a drawer and gideon the first will relentlessly try to kill harrow in her waking hours to spare her the agony he'll never learn is closely parallel to his, and when she fails to hear his real name her brain starts bleeding:

And he had said: “Ortus, have pity.”

“This is my pity, Lord,” said the Saint of Duty. HTN chapter 20

g1deon was john’s oldest friend, he carried that suitcase in his loyalty to him. then he becomes an amnesiac, immortal thanergy void, absorbing and nullifying the echoes of that catastrophe. founding the cohort that flips planets in the exact mirror to the ecological tragedy they all sacrificed everything to spare earth from. over and over again.

He didn’t even ask me to explain. That was the kind of guy he was. He and I had grown up on the same street. I’d spotted him for mince pies all the time as kids, so stands to reason he let me cut off his arm and carried a nuke for me. John 1:20

in g+p’s room harrow says that theyre all the ninth house has ( = you’re all that i have). gideon firmly says shes "NO ONE'S son or daughter"

but in less than a year gideon’s mother, sitting opposite her father, will recognize pyrrha with a sense of profound relief before her revenant is unceremoniously killed. gideon will watch through harrows eyes, in hiding:

Harrow, I will never forget the look on her face as long as I live, or as long as I die. (…) It was the smile for your old cellmate who’d just landed back in prison, the one that told them at least you were in it together—or more correctly, the smile of someone stepping out of jail after serving a very long sentence, having seen someone there waiting for her. Someone whose presence meant total reprieve, someone she hadn’t expected. It was a little bit mocking. It was deeply relieved. HTN chapter 50

i don’t have a conclusion to this rn i’m just……much to think abt. the displacement of grief, the loyalty through control, how it just happens over and over and over again and they just bear witness as tools or trapped souls or revenants, clinging to anything they can even if they don’t remember it.

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Is jaune Adrian's donor in the shark jaune au? If so can we get some rwby anf npr reacting to Jaune's baby shark doo doo do doo.

No, Jaune is not Adrian's Donor. He would've been under 18 by the time Adrian was born.

However. Baby shark. I guess either Saph or Terra are trans.

Jaune: This is My Sister, Saphron, and her Wife, Terra.

Saphron (Who has gills): Hey! You've all been helping my brother achieve his dream! Thank you for that!

Terra: A pleasure to meet you all. Though, Jaune, I think you're forgetting someone?

Jaune: I was just saving the best for last! This is my nephew, Adrian!

Adrian: Huh-Buh!

Weiss, Yang, and Pyrrha: AAAWWW~~~ Look at YOU~ you are are so cute!

Adrian: *Smiles, revealing shark teeth*

W+Y+P: ASkSKASHDALSF!

Ruby: ... How did you just enunciate a keysmash?

Pyrrha: Wook at his Wittwe Teefs! He's gonna be a big strong boy one day!

Weiss: I can't wait to have kids like him of our own Jaune~

Yang: he's so adorable~

Nora: Aw yes, the power of babies.

Blake: I've gotta say, way cuter the Zwei.

Ren: *Smiling* Yes, he is quite cute.

Jaune: .. Wait, what did Weiss say?

[paradoxcase]

Chapter 20 of Nona the Ninth

I suspect Hot Sauce will be back. I don't think her only contribution to the plot will be to headshot Nona. We also haven't learned why she's called Hot Sauce yet, which I feel is still a loose string

Ok, so they just thought that Nona was going to chill unconsciously for a while and I guess them shooting at her was just a reaction to hearing her beat down the door? And obviously they shackled Camilla and Palamedes because Palamedes did observable necromancy on Nona earlier

Is that the secret she told Hot Sauce? Hot Sauce thought it could be solved with organ transplants, but maybe she was just speculating. Palamedes thinks the problem is that her body is rejecting her soul, so not actually a physical problem. But wouldn't Pyrrha also have been having the same problem? Or is her situation special because G1deon became a Lyctor and she was just tagging along for 10,000 years? And Harrow went half of her life with Alecto haunting her, but maybe she didn't get kicked out because she wasn't the primary person in control of her body, sort of like how Palamedes isn't getting kicked out of Camilla? And Wake was stuck in a sword for 18 years, but maybe inanimate objects aren't opinionated about what soul they're being possessed by

And also... Ulysses and Titania were already dead before John ever knew them, and it sounds like we don't actually know whether or not John found their original souls when bringing them back to life, or if it was two random other souls - wouldn't their bodies have rejected the new souls if they weren't the actual original souls, if what Palamedes is saying in this chapter is true? If I remember the timeline right, they didn't become Lyctors for like hundreds of years after the Resurrection

This is a great point that I don't think has been explained yet - Lyctors' bodies are invisible to other necromancers, even to other Lyctors, but Palamedes did something to Cytherea's body back in Gideon the Ninth that helped kill her. So how did he do that? Even Harrow as a Lyctor wasn't able to do anything to G1deon's body without getting him to eat her own bone marrow

Ugh. I don't get like ~~feelings~~ about the whole Palamedes/Dulcinea thing because I feel like it was kind of awful and not a fun way, but still

So this obviously isn't going to happen now that he's spelled it out, but that honestly is exactly what I'd expect out of this story at this point

Is "water bottle" a reference to something?

I mean, we already have several examples of Lyctorhood that can't be described as "half-dead cannibals" or "a mutual death" - we have G1deon and Pyrrha who were both alive in the same body, and they were supposedly an actual Lyctor and not like Harrow was, and then there was John and Alecto, who both survived in different bodies and may have conditional immortality supported by the other person. But Palamedes thinks that "true Lyctorhood" is when both people die? Or does he think that all the existing Lyctors are just at an incomplete stage of a longer process that results in the death of both people? Did John and Alecto both die during whatever happened to them? I mean, obviously Alecto died at some point, but I'm very muddy still on what are the exact conditions that cause a planet to die other than it being flipped with necromancy

I hope Camilla/Palamedes and Nona do go to visit Gideon soon, since that seems to be where most of the other interesting characters have wound up as of the end of this chapter

So in addition to being the Angel, and also "Aim", which is probably the first word of a BOE name, they're also "the Messenger". "The Angel" was the name the kids gave them, and angels are messengers in Christian theology, but it's really not clear to what extent Christianity or Christian theology has survived in any population in this book, and if John imported the idea of angels into Nine Houses theology, that hasn't been mentioned anywhere in any book yet, so it's not clear what "angel" actually means to either the Nine Houses characters or the New Rho characters or the BOE characters. If we go with the idea that people are still speaking Modern English somehow, then I guess it's possible that "angel" survived as a word meaning "messenger" in House/English, although that seems unlikely to me since in most vernacular contexts it just means something along the lines of "being of supreme goodness" these days. But are we meant to conclude that the kids heard someone call the Angel "the Messenger" in some language and translated that into "The Angel" in House/English? And again we have they/them pronouns, and no explanation of why they are important or the reason for all the special rules around them

Also I do love that We Suffer's reaction to chapter 19 was "you're the most horrifying thing I've ever seen. Lots of blood and guts, very impressive, 10/10"

I guess the "key" is Gideon's body, because it open the Tomb? I'm curious as to what exactly We Suffer knows about that

Hmm, I guess from Corona's perspective, it would have made sense for Harrow to tell people about meeting them, Camilla extracted her promise to not tell anyone when Corona couldn't see or hear them

Funny that this is the version of this they play. I love how Corona has been trash-talking Judith for ages, but I honestly think this is just how the twins express affection for people? When we're first introduced to Ianthe she's trash-talking Corona, and they both trash-talk Babs despite the fact that I think Corona at least liked him, but for some reason Ianthe assumed that when Corona was trash-talking Judith it was because she didn't like her

It's pretty funny that Judith described Corona as having been "radicalized" in As Yet Unsent, but now it's Corona who takes the risk to rescue Judith from BOE and bring her back to the Nine Houses. I don't think Corona is actually loyal to any side at this point, she just wants to save Judith, and possibly be with Ianthe, although I'm not sure about that, either - if Ianthe keeps insisting that the best thing to do with Judith is mercy-kill her, I think Corona may switch sides again in the future. She seemed genuinely swayed by what BOE told her in As Yet Unsent, but I think she's ultimately more like Pyrrha where she thinks it's all fucked and just wants to protect her loved ones, rather than being like Palamedes who wanted to go be a big damn hero and find a way to save all the people in the cages and all the people in the barracks. Or maybe Corona is still loyal to BOE, and just thought she could deliver Judith to safety and continue relaying information back? But she had to know that stealing Judith would be considered a betrayal regardless

Who is John's "real" enemy if it isn't BOE? There are the resurrection beasts, for sure, but I'm not sure they actually have the ability to keep fighting them now that it's just Ianthe and John

I'm not sure why Camilla seems to telling We Suffer not to kill (presumably) Ianthe (or, I guess, Naberius's body)? I don't think Camilla has any love for Ianthe and probably Babs getting headshot at this point would be at least a little inconvenient for her

It sounds like John is not in a good place right now, between "mid-dismyriad crisis" and "I've been on-call as Teacher's whipping girl"

I'm curious what exactly Pyrrha told them. It definitely wasn't everything, because Ianthe is referring to "Harrow" and not "Nona", and also Ianthe didn't know anything about Judith being alive and a prisoner, and Judith was a major tactical element since they were using her to work the stele on their ship

[earth-unicorn]

Here it is friends.

Game Night 2

The second game had begun. Nora, Ren, Pyrrha, and Velvet sat around the table listening to Jaune's words as he described the battle that lay before them. Each player took turns attacking and defending. Victory was near, they could feel it.

Jaune: Ok Pyrrha it's your turn.

Pyrrha rolls a D20: Natural 20.

Nora: Hell yeah!!!

Ren: Congratulations Pyrrha.

Velvet clapping: Awesome!

Jaune: Well it definitely hits. It's also a crit. Roll for damage

Pyrrha rolls 10 D6: 60 points of damage. Doubled would be 120

Jaune: 120!!! How do you keep doing that?

Pyrrha: Doing what?

Jaune: You've rolled a natural 20 every round.

Pyrrha: Beginners luck I suppose.

Jaune: Well that's definitely enough to take him out. How do you want to do this?

Pyrrha: I don't want to kill him. I'd rather knock him out.

Jaune l: Ok. You charge the man, dodging his attack you spin around a slam the back of your spear into his head knocking him unconscious.

Ren: You've been rolling Natural 20 all night.

Nora: Are you cheating!

Pyrrha: No I swear I'm just rolling normally.

Jaune: It must be Destiny then.

Jaune looked Pyrrha in the eyes with a soft caring smile. Pyrrha looked away trying to hide the blush in her cheeks.

Nora: Jaune it's my turn!

Jaune: Right. What do you want to…

Nora: I'm going to attack the closest goon.

Jaune: Ok roll for your…

Nora stands up and throws the D20 against the table, watching it bounce around until it settles on 20.

Nora snappeds her head up towards Jaune: BREAK… HIS… LEGS!!!

Jaune: Um… the mans legs snapp under the wait of your hammer as swing down as hard as you can

Nora quietly repeating: Break his legs! Break his legs! Break his legs!

Jaune: Velvet it's your turn

Velvet: Is she ok?

Ren: She's fine. This is the only time that she actually gets to “break his legs” so she kinda loses it afterwards. She'll be like this for awhile. I'll tuck her into bed and she'll be asleep in no time.

Ren gets up and drags Nora over towards the beds.

Jaune: Ok Velvet it's your turn.

Team JNPR's door opens to reveal the rest of team CFVY.

Coco: Velvet it's time you come back to the dorm. It's getting pretty late and we have a mission tomorrow.

Velvet: Come on Coco at least let me finish my turn.

Coco sighing: Fine. Make it quick.

Velvet: Yes! I would like to attack that last guy.

Jaune: Roll for an attack.

Velvet rolls a D20: 12

Jaune: Sorry Velvet but that won't hit. It's the enemies turn now.

Jaune rolls a D20: 18

Velvet teary eyed: H-hit

Jaune: The man parries your attack and drives his blade forward into your chest. The attack drops your HP too 0 and kills you.

Velvet wipes her face and gets up from her seat: Ok C-Coco I'm done.

Coco doesn't budge from the door.

Coco glared at Jaune: Oh Hell no! We aren't leaving. Guys sit down it's our turn.

Jaune: What about your mission tomorrow?

Coco: Fuck the mission. Those assholes hurt Velvet. They will pay dearly for it.

Ren tucking Nora in: It's just a game.

Coco: Shut up! It's time for team CFVY to enter this fight. Start it over nerd.

The rest of team CFVY enter the room and take a seat at the table. Coco pulls Velvet back to her seat.

Coco sliding her sunglasses down: Let's do it the right way.

Author Note: I'll wait till tomorrow to post it on Twitter. It's 11:08pm and I'm tired. I'm going to bed

[thuskindlyshescatters]

For the RWBY ask game: 1, 13, 15, 17, 18, and 25.

Thanks for the ask <3

Favorite debunked fan theory: Qrow is Ruby's father and you can't change my mind xoxo

13. Best idea for a RWBY crossover: Some other "they're just kids" battle school anime would be sick, like BNHA. I actually have a huge soft spot for Angel Beats, and it might be cool to see them get isekaied to that kind of setting, similar to the Ever After.

15. Most nostalgic part of Poser animation: PERMANENT SHADING AND TEXTURE ON THE CHARACTER MODELS' UV MAPS I LOVE YOUUUUU. I also really prefer the eye designs in Volume 1. And shoutout to Pyrrha's chonky shoulders.

17. Theory for the Relic of Choice: I do believe that the Relic of Choice was shown in that Fairytales of Remnant short, implying that it lets you see the future of one of your choices. As for where it is, I think it would be cool if it was incarnated as Glynda.

18. Theory for the Relic of Destruction: I think people are thinking too inside-the-box about the Relic of Destruction -- like "oh, the Relic of Creation creates things, so the other must destroy," ignoring the fact that the Relic of Creation does miracles of all kinds. I wonder if the Relic of Destruction can, like, delete truths about the world -- make people forget about Salem, or erase someone's identity, stuff like that. Makes it way more formidable, imo.

25. Favorite trans character headcanon: Oh god, there's way too many to choose from. Oscar, Penny, Ruby, Ren and Nora all seem to be quite popular, and I concur. I'll add Qrow to that list. But if I had to pick a favorite, it would probably be Jaune -- the idea of Monty's harem protagonist antithesis character having these messed up ideas of masculinity because of internalized misogyny is scathing.

[moltensmusings]

I have a question: what made you completely change Pyrrha?

I know she dies in this AU but why change her personality if she is going to die still?

This is going to be a bit hefty. I've explained my issues with canon Pyrrha a bit before but I'm always willing to do it again so I hope this makes things relatively clear:

When volume 1 of RWBY was still airing, I used to tell anyone that would listen that I believed Pyrrha would either die or go through a villain corruption arc. I told people this not because something was setting it up, but because Pyrrha in canon has a personality that embodies the dead wives you see in videos husbands play. They're characters made not to be characters, but to be missed. To be loved and adored by the audience without the creator going in and giving them flaws or traits that make them anything more than a concept to be revered.

It's like the writers didn't trust that the audience could miss or mourn a character who wasn't completely perfect. They seemed so afraid of making her controversial that they barely made her at all. Canon pyrrha doesn't exists outside of Jaune and what she can do for other characters until volume 3. We don't start getting a pyrrha arc until barely a handful of episodes before she's killed off. And after she's gone she's almost never brought up in a context that doesn't include Jaune in some way. Volume 4 has JNR and Ruby traveling together but outside of Jaune's grief we get no hints or indication of the rest of the group dealing with the grief of her passing or avoiding the topic as they pretend they've moved on.

I don't even hate characters like Pyrrha, when handled well it can be a good way to add an emotional center to a characters story. But pyrrha is an actual character we know for 3 volumes who is supposed to feel like her own person with hopes and dreams.

I want her to be human. To be someone flawed and messy that is still growing because she's a person who can change. I want her to exist beyond this idea of being in service to others and instead exist with the idea that because she's been raised to believe she's so fantastic by everyone that she's started to believe it and it's negatively shaped her image of others and how she can connect to them. It gives her a character arc that can then be interrupted by the maiden, while also maybe giving us a reason that Ozpin wasn't immediately willing to speak to Pyrrha about them.

There's also the fact that she's based on Achilles but her personality lends much better to a Joan of arc type (Jaune) than to a demigod known for feats of brutality. There are countless stories floating around of Achilles being horrific and cruel, yet outside of her semblance, skill in combat, and visual inspiration drawn from ancient Greek armor, the writers don't really show any evidence Pyrrha is based on Achilles.

To me her being imperfect and unlikable, only to be killed before she fully grows and changes is far more tragic. Someone with the capacity to be a better version of themselves never getting to grow into it but clearly trying to do so. It would also add emphasis to the fact that Pyrrha was a child when she died, she was 17 maybe 18 if we're being generous. That's so young.

TL;DR: canon pyrrha felt like the writers were shoving a character at us and telling us to love her/miss her then tying her to a man she'd never be separate from.

[thecaptdynamite]

So doing a OnlyJaunes story on Wattpad, here is the first chapter

Jaune Arc had just turned 18. He was a stalwart lad who had undergone a lot in his life.  One of the biggest hurdles was surviving Beacon Academy. You see, he had come here for righteous reasoning. But unfortunately, his means of entering were less than legal. In fact, it was illegal all around. He had spent his money on fake transcripts to get him there.

So the main problem stood as follows: he needed money and fast. Fortunately,  he was able to find a way to earn hun so extra lien so he could not have his grades suffer. The job, however well, let's just say he's glad Pyrrha has been helping him work out. 

Jaune: "Alright, I'll adjust the lighting a little bit here and here." Jaune is seen adjusting a studio light towards his bed, his scroll on a tripod and him wearing only tight boxer shorts. "Let's see. Maybe I can pose like this." In his hand, he has a button to help him take pictures, in which many of remnant has purchased.  You see, Jaune sells pictures and videos of himself on OnlyHunts, a website where beautiful people use their bodies to make money.  And since he started, he made back everything and more. "Alrighty, let's try here." He leans a bit, spreading his legs and adjusting his sack to look more plump in the underwear. A quick snap sound popped up, and he went to the camera to check it. He himself liked the angle, though he was cut he had a nicer body thanks to him working put more often, plus his Huntsman training has definitely helped a lot.  He did a few more poses, more showing off the Arc Cakes. After about 45 min, he started putting everything away after putting pants on.  He uploaded the photos he felt good about first and let time do its thing.

About an hour or so later, Jaune was sitting in Prof Port's class. As he took notes from his stories, his scroll went off on a vibrating frenzy. Luckily, it was in his pocket, and he was able to silence it. A quick smile grew as he had a feeling what it was. While Port turned to the board to write, Jaune pulled out his scroll to take a look, and as he expected, his likes went up on the post he did. Another thing he enjoyed was the compliments he received on his body. Something about helped him cope with his self-esteem issues he obtained due to his family.

AtlasMommy73: Another wonderful set Golden, God I'd love to see you.

IceTips: Please stop teasing and let us see your 2 hander ;).

SpartanStrength: Please just take me.

SpecialSnow:  Please come to Atlas so we can melt these caps. ;*

So on and so forth, the thrist was real. As more and more requests for Jaune came to light. Though he wasn't too worried about people finding out because, let's be honest, his friends were as dense as he was in the past.  He noticed Pyrrha staring into her scroll hard but paid no mind to it. He then continued his day like normal.

Throughout the day, Jaune felt eyes on hum, he's not sure why, but he felt he was being watched.  He turned around to an empty hallway. Shrugging his shoulders, he continued on his way. After a few more minutes, he felt the eyes on him again. Suddenly, he turned around and looked once more only to seek the same empty hallway.

Jaune: "Man, I think I need more sleep." He turned and walked towards the dorms.  As he did, a certain redhead was following him, not the one you're thinking if.

???: "Soooo fearless leader, you're the famous Golden Knight?" Jaune froze as he turned around and saw none other than Nora. "Don't worry, fearless leader, I only want one thing." Jaune, starting panicking, what could she want, money? Fame? Dic- "I wanna be your manager!"

Jaune: "Wait, what?" Jaune felt releived, but at the same time, he had an overwhelming amount of dread.

Nora: "You see, Jaune-Jaune, I know that you've been taking pictures. And though you've hidden your face, I can tell. Surprisingly, no one has put two and two together, but I can help edit your photos to prevent that. And even offer to maybe do BG shoots. For let's say 30 percent to see how you like it. Sound good?"

Jaune was at an impass. What did he have to really lose. He knew he could trust Nora, and he was making a good amount of money.

Jaune: "You know what, Nora, you got a deal!" He sticks his hand out for a handshake, but Nora grabs it and hugs him tight.

Nora: "Oh, I can't wait to show you what we can do!"

-if enough are interested I can post the link for you all for the rest.

[theriverbeyond]

a + j for the fanfic ask

A: Of the fanfic you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

I feel like whenever I post a fic, it is my new favorite fic until I publish the next fic, when THAT one is then my favorite fic. In a slight effort not to do that, some general favorites are:

crawl home to her - AU: G1deon lives his cottagecore fantasy with baby G, ft PyrrhaWake psycosexual interrogation time loop. This one is a favorite because it combines a lot of my own long-held headcanons about G1deon, Wake, and Pyrrha, it's the longest fic I've published to date, I think it's conceptually ambitious and I'm proud of myself for pulling it off! I love this fic so much I comissioned art of it

alors que l'eau est bleue - Pre canon: Mercymorn lays eyes on Number 7 and it makes her remember things John wishes she would forget, Augustine can't do anything but watch. This one is a favorite because it was really challenging to write. I had never written Mercymorn or Augustine, much less 1st person Augustine

18+ Ritual of the Unkissed Skull - Nova AU: After defending the 6th house, Gideon takes care of Nova (in more ways than one). I'm super proud of this because I wrote it on a really tight timeline (less than a week!!!), I tried a new thing (Gideon is the TOP in this one), and I also was endevoring to strike that goldilocks balance of intentionally depicting bad/inexperienced sex that reads good, which was an interesting challenge. They are getting lost in the sauce

but! ask me this question on friday and my answer might change :)

J: What’s your favorite fanfic trope? Have you written it?

I honestly think the only trope I enjoy that I have NOT written is "long angsty (modern) AU", which is a trope i do adore but do not yet have the plotting skills for. Perhaps someday! But anyway some favorites that I have written: Suffering :) Grief/Mourning :) Canon divergence :) Pre canon :) Sex Insead Of Therapy :)

A-Z fanfic writer asks!

[latenightswithdoom]

Okay so I've debated sending this to your main account or to this account. I apologize in advance if you would have preferred this on your other account.

Okay so Jaune and Pyrrha start dating . And it is during their first time having sex that Jaune is forced to confront something that he has always known but never acknowledged. See Jaune is asexual, and a pretty sex repulsed asexual at that.

Now at first Jaune keeps this too himself. Until it becomes too much for Jaune and he finally breaks down too Pyrrha and tells her how much sex in general disgusts him and that he hates the act, while assuring Pyrrha that this isn't because of anything she did.

Pyrrha, of course is mortified at the situation. Blaming herself for not noticing sooner. But there is a small problem. Turns out Pyrrha loves sex and wants to have sex more than the average person or huntsman . Eventually things come to a head. And the two discuss things and that is when Jaune brings up the idea of Pyrrha sleeping with other people.

Ultimately after some convincing Pyrrha takes Jaune up on his suggestion. As well as going with who Jaune thinks would do a good job of being compatible with Pyrrha. And that of course is Cardin.

This situation ends up working for everyone as Cardin gets to have earth shattering sex with THE Pyrrha Nikos. As well as help out his friend Jaune. Pyrrha gets the sex she wants. And doesn't need to worry about hurting Jaune to fulfill that need. And Jaune doesn't have to deal with the sexual aspect and his girlfriend is happy and satisfied. So truly everyone wins.

Content: Communication is key :)

Thank you for sending this in Anon :)

Jaune and Pyrrha began dating once the Vytal Festival concluded, and waited until the next year when they were both 18 to try out having sex with each other. The two of them were both very nervous and took it slow, also making sure to be extremely safe with Jaune bringing condoms and Pyrrha taking birth control pills. They kissed and felt each other up while slowly stripping. Jaune admired every bit of Pyrrha's body as she admired his, but something was bothering Jaune deeply. Pyrrha could see it in his eyes so she stopped anything from moving forward to confirm Jaune's consent and ask him if there was anything she could do for him.

At that moment Jaune sighed and confessed to Pyrrha that he is a sex repulsed asexual and wasn't able to go through with this. Pyrrha reassured him that it was all okay and was glad that he was honest and open with her. She isn't dating him for the sex, she loves him because of how caring and dedicated he is to those he cares for. Jaune thanked Pyrrha as they decided to keep what clothes they removed to stay off, as Jaune still admired the beauty of his girlfriend and loved her deeply for her determination and kindness.

The two spent the rest of the night cuddling and talking, being open and honest with each other, making sure to set boundaries and expectations for their relationship. They were in love and always will be, their hearts only belonged to each other and they wanted to stay with each other and have the other be as happy as they could be.

So Jaune surprised Pyrrha by spit balling out an idea of how she could still manage to have sex and enjoy that part of her life. He would be completely judgement free and encouraging of her as Jaune knew that they could trust each other and remain strong in their love for each other. Jaune suggested for Pyrrha to sleep with someone else.

It would just be a sex thing, nothing else. At the end of the day Pyrrha loved Jaune and Jaune alone. Sex did not determine love, as love is love. Sex was still just a natural part of life and nothing that Pyrrha should feel like she should shy away from to appease Jaune in any silly sort of way.

The two sat on the discussion for a couple of days, talking about it further to fully confirm if this was something they would want to go forward with and the rules behind it all. The main one was open and honest communication without shame or judgement, that truth would continue to strengthen their bond and relationship.

The second shock Pyrrha got from Jaune was one of the ideas he had for who Pyrrha could possibly sleep with. Of course the regular ideas popped up such as Ren, which would bring up another conversation and rule setting with him and Nora knowing they were already in an open relationship. While that would have been the path assumed to be taken, Jaune suggested that Pyrrha could sleep with Cardin Winchester.

Jaune admitted that while it was quite out there as an idea, he explained to Pyrrha how him and Cardin had been patching things up as of late. Cardin trying his best to become a better person and apologize to Jaune along with other people he hurt like Velvet. Pyrrha did admit that she did notice how much better Cardin had been acting but would have to think about it for a while before she made her decision.

Another few days had passed and Pyrrha had made her decision. She would choose Cardin to have sex with, and Jaune was supportive and loving as he always was. Pyrrha only dreamed of being able to marry Jaune and live the rest of her life with him.

The couple were ready to move onto the next and trickier step, which was talking to Cardin about their idea and how it all came to be. Most importantly was to set down ground rules and make sure that it was all agreed upon by them all. They were going to do this only if it healthy and managed properly as to not cause any issues between each other and themselves.

Cardin was happy that Jaune and Pyrrha invited him out to dinner to talk, still hoping to be making up for his past as a bully and a jerk. The dinner went well with the trio catching up on life along with Jaune and Pyrrha reassuring that they were thankful for Cardin's apologizes and his efforts to be a better person.

The night went on and the three eventually made their way to the biggest and most important conversation. Jaune and Pyrrha explained to Cardin in detail the basics of their relationship, what they were both wanting to do, why they were doing it, and ultimately that they were going to need to set ground rules if Cardin did accept their offer.

Cardin was certainly shocked to be hearing that Pyrrha was willingly offering to have sex with him and how well her and Jaune talked things over. He knew that the two were truly in love with each other, and this showing of trust and honestly just reinforced that even more. Cardin didn't have his eyes on dating anyone just quite yet but did hope to bring this level of communication to any and all relationships he might have in the future.

Pyrrha and Jaune offered Cardin time to think things over and take his time with this decision, not judging him for either response and hoping he didn't judge them for bringing up this offer. To both of their surprise, Cardin decided to accept the offer right then and there. He made it clear that he was wanting to do this because Pyrrha was the one wanting to do it, and that he would never be able to replace Jaune in her heart just because he was taking her to bed.

Jaune and Pyrrha looked at each other, giving a little nod before turning to Cardin and laying down the ground rules. First off was about how Pyrrha had the ultimate say about consent and when they would have sex and what they would be doing when they got together. This also included being safe and Cardin wearing a condom and Pyrrha taking birth control at first unless discussed later. Second off was to reinforce that all of them had to be open and honest about the arrangement, if anyone was bothered by it or not liking it or wanting to move forward or further with it, they would bring it up with the other two. Third off was that Jaune and Pyrrha agreed with Cardin that Jaune and Pyrrha were in love and that he was just going to be having sex with her. Anything moving forward or past that would be talked about as said in rule two.

The three finished up their dinner and had dessert while discussing other little rules here and there, but the main three were in place. They were going forward with this, and they were going to be doing it right. With dessert finished, the three split the bill and promised to keep in contact and take it slow.

Another few days past with the three talking some more not just about their arrangement, but trying to get to know each other all a bit better to build a bond as a foundation before getting into anything. The first time that Pyrrha and Cardin did anything together was when Jaune was off visiting Saphron and Terra, giving her full permission to be free and call up Cardin for some company.

Cardin and Pyrrha spent most of the night just hanging out as friends, getting some food and playing games together before Pyrrha asked Cardin if they could have a little bit of fun. Cardin consented and the two began to kiss slowly, holding each other close before Pyrrha removed her shirt. Cardin made sure to take it slow and ask for permission for each and every little touch he made, even as Pyrrha sat on Cardin's lap while they made out, the two were still establishing rules and boundaries.

Always making sure consent was there, Cardin was allowed to take Pyrrha's bra off and feel up her breasts. The two continued to make out on the couch as Cardin gently squeezed and played with Pyrrha's tits. They didn't go any further than that, both tired for the night and wanting to really make sure they weren't jumping head first into anything. Before Cardin left, Pyrrha moved his hand to her ass, allowing him to squeeze it before kissing his cheek goodbye.

They would have to continue to explore in the future, but for now, this was a good start.

[howlingday]

real sorry about the gamut I’m asking lately, but I am burstin. Can you do a post-Mario SuperMarioLogan parody please?

I think I can, yes. And no worries on your asks. Ask asmuch as you'd like!

---------------------------------------------------

Yang: Ruby! Time for class!

Ruby: Okay, I'm just gonna finish eating my breakfast.

Yang: Ruby, you're not going to eat chocolate chips for breakfast.

Ruby: Well, I'm 18, and I'm going to do it anyways!

Yang: Ruby: You're 18 and attending Signal. Now eat your cat food!

Blake: Yang, don't make her eat cat food.

Ruby: It's fine, Blake! I like shrimp and biscuits!

Yang: See? She likes it.

..................................................................................

Ozpin: Good morning, Miss Xiao Long. I just came by to let you know that I sold your mortgage to the White Fang.

Adam: 'Sup.

Yang: YOU SOLD MY MORTGAGE?!

Ozpin: Indeed I did!

Adam: Do you know why I wear this mask? It's because I missed my mortgage payment, so I burned out my eyes myself to teach myself a lesson!

Ozpin: Excellent. I'll just leave you to talk.

Adam: So where's my money?

Yang: I... don't... have it?

Adam: Well, you better get it, or else I'm going to mucho gracias your tits!

Yang: ...

Adam: This is a nice house. Have a nice day.

Yang: W-What does that mean?!

Ruby: It means he's going to a lot thank you your tits.

..................................................................................

Goodwitch: You have cancer.

Yang: Is it bad?!

Goodwitch: No, it's actually the good kind of lung cancer.

Yang: R-Really?

Goodwitch: No, it's bad. It's cancer. It's always bad.

Yang: What can I do?

Goodwitch: Well, there is treatment, but it's hundreds of thousands of lien, and I know you can't afford that.

Yang: W-Well, what can you do for me?!

Goodwitch: Well, I can give these tissues so you can cry me a river. And since it's you, I'll also give you this hammer so you can build a bridge and get over it.

Blake: (Sobbing) Yang, what are going to do?!

Yang: Well, I'm the one with the cancer and the mortgage, so I think I'm the one who should be crying.

Blake: Oh, right.

Ruby: Don't worry, Yang! You can't be denied medical care, so just let your medical bills go to collections while you worry about your mortgage payments.

..................................................................................

Ruby: Okay, Yang, I got the snitch knocked out and tied up! What should we do?

Yang: What we always do to snitches.

Ruby: Okay! (Drags them away)

Blake: Yang! You're not cooking Dust are you?

Yang: No, no! It's, uh, rock salt! Old Xiao Long recipe and all that!

Blake: Okay, good.

Ruby: (Comes back) Yang, I got the fucker's head!

Blake: (Screams)

Yang: TIE THE BITCH UP!

..................................................................................

Pyrrha: I can't believe Dust is illegal.

Nora: I know, right?! So lame!

Ren: I would pay anything for just one chunk.

Jaune: I've never used Dust so I don't really care one way or the other.

Ruby: Hey, guys, want some Dust?

Jaune: OH FUCK YEAH! GIMME THAT SHIT!

Ruby: You guys are my friends, so I'll give you half the bag for forty lien.

Nora: Sold!

Goodwitch: Hello, class, I'm back from taking a- HOLY SHIT!

Goodwitch: Why do you all have Dust?!

Pyrrha: Jaune bought it for all of us!

Goodwitch: And where did you get it, Jaune?

Jaune: I AIN'T SQUEALIN ON MY HOMIES!

Goodwitch: Fine! Then I'll have to escort you to detention!

Jaune: FUCK YOU, PIG! I'LL USE MY ONE PHONE CALL TO CALL YOUR MOM!

..................................................................................

Blake: (Tied up, Locked away) HELP! HELP!

Goodwitch: (Opens the door) Good gravy!

Yang: TH-THIS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!

Goodwitch: Look, whatever weird and kinky shit you do is your business, not mine. So I don't want to see it.

Blake: WHAT?! NO, NO, NO! SHE TIED ME UP AND BANGED ME IN THE HEAD!

Goodwitch: I-I don't need to know where she banged. (Shuts door)

..................................................................................

Goodwitch: God damn, did you see that shit?! He fell off the cliff and drowned! Thst was way better than arresting him!

Yang: But... But he had story potential.

Goodwitch: Yeah? So do you. Fuck him.

Yang: Huh. Guess I never thought of it that way.

Goodwitch: Oh, and by the way, I took another look at your X-ray, and it turns out you don't have cancer. That was just my thumb pressed against the screen. So yeah, no cancer. (Leaves)

Ruby: Yang! I sold all the Dust! We now have 4.2 million lien!

Yang: That's great, but we don't have to sell Dust anymore. Our mortgage payment issue is gone.

Ruby: Oh... Well, wanna hit the arcade?

Yang: Yeah, I do!

Blake: ...Yang? ...Ruby? ...Anyone? GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS CLOSET!

[hexcorazon]

i know this is a dumb question because miles and kerryhave very famously said they dont keep a timeline of their show (which is so great and awesome and is just such great writing habits and definitely wont result in massive plotholes and issues /s) but do we actually have any sort of dates for how long jaunes been in the ever after? he should have been like. 18/19/MAAAAYBE 20 before he fell, and now hes got graying hair (which could just be the stress its not a proper indicator of age or time passing)

im just curious because i feel like if he survives vol9 (which im not totally sold on) theyre gonna not really address or have the effects of the timeskip for jaune be properly examined? like he potentially could have been living in the ever after for decades. would 'normal' remnant logic feel foreign and confusing to him? did he forget his families faces and voices? he hasnt seen most of them since BEFORE beacon even. does he remember the details of pyrrhas face? is he unsettled by the way things stay Linear or how you can simply *walk* to a place and not run the risk of being swept away somewhere? how will his ptsd from living as the rusted knight manifest when returning to remnant, and how will he reconcile decades of lived experience that he no longer shows with the decades of life he has still yet to live? will he miss the ever after? will he be able to return? would he want to?

these are all questions that i doubt will be answered but thats why im here ig