#Punching the air

[shandzii]

MET ONE OF MY ONLINE BESTIES IRL @sleepyeule

[beguilingcorpse]

it drives me crazyyyy that like. palamedes is out at canaan house with tenderness in excelsius for dulcinea. the perfect regency era gentleman. every moment is the pride and prejudice hand flex scene. if the pov character was attracted to men even a little bit the narration would be filled with swooning. he’s lowering her gently into chairs and handing her tea so that their hands brush and looking at her with those big grey eyes of his. and all of it is WASTED because it’s NOT dulcinea it’s CYTHEREA. FUCK

[nunafilms]

I no longer have anything to hide.

✩ The Double ─ Episode 34 (墨雨云间)

[mindontheclouds]

you two😠🫵🏻

[a-diners-call-gfdatingsim]

Drew an extremely quick shitty comic last night at like 12am about the intro to Stan's route.

This is the only frame to see the light of day because it's kinda cute <3

Anywho Info on the second smaller Project to get the hang on Renpy below!

(This one is for you Ford and Fiddleford simps)

In order to polish using the 'affection point system' and heavy branching choices before getting to 'A Diners Call' there will be a project that I wanted to call 'Fiddeling Fords' so bad but I held back and at least for now I'm calling it 'College Fords'

That's right! Your heading to Backupsmore! To Romance one (or maybe two? Depends on if you guys would want it and or whether the project is already taking to long and I feel I've learned all I can)

That's right! University romance time!!!! Aaahahhhhhh

[way2gosuperrstarr]

"oh wow! what a nice community of shared interest! i sure hope i can form good, solid friendships with my mutuals/other people and interact regularly, and form a true friendship that will last even when we begin to enter different fandoms. oh, joyous ! ☺️"

<- doesnt interact with anyone out of some sort of fear, the most silent mutual on earth, waits for people to talk first (npc behavior), takes 500 years to respond to a single ask, kind of afraid to share my own ideas, has some of the most stunted/stilted/stiff conversation skills on the planet, doesnt want to intrude on anyone/make someone feel obligated to talk to me because oh my god thats horrible, and when someone DOES actually talk to me in messages on their own will i take like 2000 years to respond to a single message out of fear or general exhaustion

[milksinyourarea]

Hey Dan, bestie, what happened to "I'm someone who wants to keep the details of my personal life private"?

What happened to that :)

[theultimategoodgirl]

*internally screams*

[wrenkos]

guilt

[jellymetric]

forever and always

[callsign-coolsquirrel]

Attitude and Gifts

🥺more fanart for Stranger Than Fiction by @multi-fandomfuckboy because the paRALLELS JSANDJASD

[campbenji]

thanks tiktok for spoiling the end of s2ep1 for me!!! i'm absolutely not pissed off my mind and even more desperate for a trailer now!!!!

[lemosch]

Calling all Inhaler’s fans: where are all the Josh and Ryan fics??? All I see is Eli and Bobby everywhere, I desperately need some good old Josh x reader or Ryan x reader but they’re nowhere to be found

[madyxuwu]

I hate drawing in anime style so I drew some more sillier drawings to try and fix my art block

I'll post more effortful art l8r

[2many-art]

I will NEVER shut up about his blue suit, I’m still not over it 1+year after that fateful bd card, and I am not even sorry about it (maybe a little, idk)

Likes and reblogs are really appreciated and keep me going 🖤

[revelisms]

Throwing down a big ramble of Silco and Vander headcanons, because I've had these two on my mind Too Much recently (and just need somewhere to braindump, while I figure out how to write them).

cw: abandonment issues, violent/complicated relationships, repression, dysfunctional family histories.

While it's likely canon(? side-eyes our TBD S2 flashbacks) that these two knew each other as boys and worked together for a long time, I really like the idea that they were pulled together by chance.

Maybe they worked on complete opposite sides of the Fissures—Silco working the mines, Vander working the fisheries/refineries/metalworks, etc. Carting off raw materials to various industrial crews was part of Silco's weekly work (and how he'd been able to build connections across the working circles of the city; climbed the rungs and twisted the ears of higher leaders, later on)—and Vander's crew was one of them.

Maybe they caught each others' eyes—or hated each other, at first (or Silco had an immediate, heavily-bottled crush). Countless handoffs turned into messy introductions, into Come down to the Drum, Swiftlet—we'll get'ya sorted up!, into them holing up together in the off-hours with other workers in their ratty pubs, realizing how uncannily much they had in common, for all their surface-level opposites.

Vander takes him under his wing; another stray to the litter. (It's a penchant they both have, perhaps, in their own ways.) He's older than him. Stronger, louder, warmer. A middle child in a big family, rife with dysfunction, broiling over with anger. He's someone who knows how to make his voice heard in the mess, and people flock to him, in ways they never did to Silco. They fear and respect him, in turns. He has a reputation—and it weighs heavy as a blade. He's never afraid to flash it, when needed (or just when he needs to send some brazen fools running).

Silco's jealous of it all, naturally—and more than a little admiring. He believes in him. Feels like he can trust him; like Vander would do anything for the two of them, for their cause, their people—just like he would, for them.

Quietly, his admiration bleeds into something else. An obsession, a hunger, a selfish and desperate sort of love. He was always an outcast, a dirty little thing, to his own kin and anyone on the streets. Never had a father, to appraise him. Never had anyone to call his own, who saw him as worthwhile; who picked him up from the sludge and kept him on his feet: made him feel like he could be feared and respected, too. He's been surviving since he was old enough to haul a cart of coal, and his youth was stripped from him. Always an ancient thing in a weak little body, gnawing at the seams for blood.

I think Vander was deep-seated in denial. An angry, bitter, violent man, with a deceptive charisma casing it all. Their relationship was inherently destructive (and with a flavor of Fight Club repression): they fought with fists as much as words. Sometimes, it skirted the lines, got too close—roughhousing bleeding towards something Silco craved, that Vander feared: that they nearly had, tumbled against walls with fists at their necks and their breath tangled.

And maybe, once or twice (or countless), they slipped over those lines; got too drunk to remember. Convenient thing, that, for Vander to sit in his denial; but Silco never forgot, never played it off. He ached, and he resented. Vander called him a brother in private, and a partner in public, and Silco simmered at it—A brother? Is that all I am, to you? All you see us as?—and, eventually, accepted it; that it was more important to have him, in whatever ways he could, than to not have him, at all.

I read him as having a bone-deep fear of abandonment, as equally as Jinx does: terrified of being left behind, discarded, being seen as unworthy, etc.—largely from growing up in a broken household with an absent father, but also just from being the runt, his whole life; ignored and spat on by his peers, by the stronger ones, the faster ones, the smarter ones. There's rage under that, festered for a lifetime. There's also an intrinsic sliver of inadequacy.

We don't know anything about his home life, before—but there's something there, in the nature of Henry's character in Detachment, that I can't not tie to Jinx: perhaps a guilt he's battled with his whole life, from having an ill weakling of a mother he never knew what to do with, who died too young, hating her life and all an undesired childbirth had reduced her to.

Cue both of these into how he latched onto Vander, and why his betrayal shattered him to a shell—and also why he saw something in Powder: an opportunity to nurture the part of himself he gleaned in her, but also a chance to absolve that guilt from his mother, an innate need to try again, and why her sledgehammering into his schemes brought the humanity back into the monster he'd harnessed in himself.

I think Silco was always a deeply guarded, manipulative, quiet, and wrathful man—and that Vander saw him, empowered something in him, that made him feel worthy, not soiled. That they brought out the worst in each other, in the guise of familial connection, and hid their own fears under the surface (Silco, his affections and desire; Vander, the guilt of emboldening something monstrous in Silco that he despised, that he hated himself for taking pride in).

They were unstoppable together—but destined for a bloody end. A perfect foil for all the ways love can spiral into something destructive.

And, in the aftermath of it all, we have Vi—Vander's manifestation of those regrets: another little thing, adoring in his shadow, that he emboldened in his image while equally discouraging it every step of the way, and that he wallowed in his shame over; and we have Jinx—Silco's own manifestation: another image of his fractured, misguided understanding of what makes family real (e.g., I see the monster in you, and you see the monster in me, and that is still worth something, for all others may be repulsed by it).

He refuses to abandon her, even though he is given every opportunity, by himself and by others; refuses to abandon her like he was abandoned, like he himself abandoned his mother, even for all Jinx lashes out at him, looks for lies in everything he does. He is always, in his own ways, clinging to her—not wanting to lose her, to lose someone who sees him, again; and who he sees, in turn.

(And it's what Vi is striving for, as well—trying to absolve her own guilt of abandoning Powder, and clinging to memory of what they had, not wanting to lose her sister again—and it's something she will rage at Silco for, and go head-to-head with him on, constantly.)

TL;DR—Silco and Vander are a destructive unrequited tragedy, and Vi and Jinx will carry the imprints of that, in everything they do: broken mirrors of their fathers, and their fathers broken mirrors of each other.