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pellucid-constellations · 1 month ago

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I'd Answer

You've been gone. Azriel's been broken. Something has to change, and Azriel would do anything.

Part 2 of If You Cared to Ask

“This is for you,” Mor huffed, plopping down a small bouquet of roses onto the growing garden that seemed to have sprouted on the table. “What is that, number twelve?”

“I don’t know, I don’t count them,” you brushed off, your gaze falling on the gifts for a fleeting moment.

Mor hummed. “Are they doing anything for you?”

“Not particularly.”

Your friend shuffled into the small sitting room and gracefully landed in the chair beside yours, her eyes piercing a hole in the side of your head when you refused to look up. She sighed, and then sighed again, making a show of slotting her chin in her palm and looking forlorn.

The third sigh was your breaking point.

You placed your book on the table and turned to Mor with your brows raised. “Yes?”

“Oh, nothing,” she airily replied. “I was just wondering when you were going to give this up. You don’t have to forgive the guy, but at least put me out of my misery and let me tell him where you’re staying. I’m basically a delivery service at this point. He says sorry again, by the way.”

“Oh, well in that case—”

“More than just sorry, but I can’t remember everything he said. It was all rambly and his face was all gaunt.” Mor pressed her fingers up to cover her eyes. “I’m not even sure if he’s eating. Rhys had to stop sending him out because he almost fell out of the sky.”

“Is this supposed to make me feel bad?”

You hoped your ruse was believable because hearing that Azriel was doing so poorly did make you feel bad. Your heart lept up to your throat at the prospect of your mate falling from the sky from exhaustion. But he had had so many opportunities to make this right and you weren’t about to give up your anger so easily.

Mor offered a sad expression that looked authentic this time. “Y/n, he loves you. He’s an idiot and the whole lot of them are mindless fools, but Azriel has never loved anything the way he loves you.”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” you snorted. “And he shows that love by forgetting me and then arguing when I’m clearly upset over it?”

“I know. He told me how much of an ass he’s been. But, I promise you, I’ve known Azriel for a long time. He was just—just handling everything with Rhys poorly. He felt so so guilty when Rhys got trapped. You know that.”

You bit the inside of your cheek and avoided Mor’s gaze. “I know.”

The lack of vitriol in your tone had Mor perking up. “And you remember how hard he tried to get him back—how broken he was when Rhys sent out his last message. Az feels responsible for everything when it comes to his family.”

You didn’t need the reminder. The tortured way he carried himself over the past 50 years was evidence enough of the truth behind Mor’s words. And you had been there to soothe that pain, to help run the court that Rhys left behind.

When silence persisted, Mor craned her neck to catch your gaze. “I’m not saying what he did was right, but you know he’s been in overdrive since Rhys returned. He goes off on those missions when Rhys calls, but… y/n, he only leaves without notice when his informants…”

Mor trailed off.

Your gaze finally flickered up. “When?”

Mor bit her lip and winced. “He told me not to tell you this part. He said he didn’t want you to think he was making excuses.”

“Tell me anyways.”

“Fine. But you can’t rat me out.” Mor sighed and leaned back in the chair, still facing you. “He does go on every mission Rhys proposes, and that’s… stupid, but he tells you about those ones, I think. When he just up and leaves, it’s because—y/n, it’s because they're about you. You know there’s a slew of people that want you dead for your involvement up in Illyria. He has a team of informants with the sole purpose of listening for you name.

“He goes on Rhys’s missions because he doesn’t want his family separated again, but sometimes, it’s because he just wants to protect his mate.”

A stone dropped past your ribs and into your stomach. “But, he never told me—”

“You know these overgrown bats think that suffering in silence is an honorable thing to do,” Mor rolled her eyes. “They overwork themselves fighting the good fight or whatever and seem to forget that the rest of the world is still out there, facing the consequences of their actions. And… I think he just wanted you to feel safe. I think he’s been scared.”

Something sickly climbed its way up your consciousness. You looked down at your hands as they rested in your lap.

You hadn’t seen Azriel in six days, and each day had more anger coursing through you, building up a wall that you thought impenetrable. Because you were so angry; Azriel had disappointed you time and time again, left you feeling abandoned and alone, and then he got defensive about it as if you were the one at fault.

Part of you always knew it was a defense of some sort, but you had thought it a defense of something nefarious. You had tossed around the idea of infidelity a few times, and that rivaled the thought of him simply falling out of love with you.

But it was this.

It was him hiding how hard he’d been trying to protect you—however idiotic his tactics may have been.

“You can tell him where I am,” you murmured clenching your fingers into your palm. “And leave the door unlocked, I guess.”

Mor had left the small apartment on the outskirts of Velaris before you finished your sentence.

It took approximately 7 minutes for a tentative knock to sound at your door.

Mor had left it unlocked, but there was still a knock.

You took a glance at the pile of flowers on the table before heading to the front door. The old floorboards creaked under your feet, a reminder of the rundown apartment you had sought out after you left. It was a frantic process, searching for a place to stay; you hadn’t cared much for luxury or comfort.

Opening the door was jarring. Azriel’s wings were half-raised as if he’d just flown down and then forgot how to control them. His face was pallid with dark smudges beneath his eyes. His hair was windswept, expected from the flight, but it looked tugged at and disheveled beyond that.

“Hi.”

Maybe you’d been looking him over too long because Azriel’s voice cracked at the single word. He sounded unsure, verging on afraid, and all you had done was pass over his figure with your eyes.

You tightened your grip on the door handle. “Um, hi.” Your tone was harsher than you meant it to be.

Azriel flinched. “I’m sorry, Mor said…”

“No, I—Come in.”

You stepped back and pushed the door open to accommodate his hesitant steps into your rental. Azriel stood in the middle of the space and wrung his hands as you shuffled behind him, a slight tremor showing in his fingers. You leaned back against the door with your own hands pressed at the small of your back. You watched Azriel’s lingering gaze trail over the flowers in the corner of the room.

“You didn’t like them?” he meekly asked.

Something inside of you hurt.

“They were okay,” you answered. “But I didn’t want flowers.”

Azriel nodded and his lashes fluttered shut. His hands twitched.

“I’m sorry—for the flowers, I mean. They were a pathetic reason to send Mor to you. You wanted to be left alone.”

“I did not want to be left alone, Azriel.” You kicked away from the door, bringing your arms across your chest for some form of protection. “I wanted you. I wanted you to care about me.”

“I do,” Azriel stressed. He took a step forward and the wood beneath his boot creaked. “I do, y/n. I care about you more than anything—I love you.”

“Then why couldn’t you show me? Why did it take me leaving, me getting hurt, for you to finally listen to me and see how much I’ve needed you?”

Your chest was heaving, each word from your lips a choked gasp. Azriel took all of it and absorbed your full meaning, seeming to wince at every insinuation that he didn’t love you. His jaw quivered and he opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

“Why did you stop talking to me?” you asked, a broken rendition of your anger. “Why—Mor told me… She told me things. Things that make sense. But why does it feel like I don’t matter to you?”

“My love,” Azriel stressed. Yearned. He rushed forward, abandoning all reservations and gathering you into his arms as tears began making headway down your cheeks. “I’m so sorry, baby. I can’t—I’m so so sorry.” His words were almost lost against your temple as he held you, each apology a whisper of a kiss against your skin.

“You weren’t there and Devlon—he—”

“I know, angel, I know and I’m so sorry. Had I known… Had I listened.” He pulled you back from his chest, crouching down to meet your eye and wiping tears from your cheeks. “All I’ve ever wanted to do was keep you safe. I thought I was doing that. I don’t know what Mor told you—”

“She told me everything. She told me you’ve been following leads about me and taking on too much. She told me you’re scared.”

Azriel breathed and it sounded anguished. “I am terrified. We lost Rhysand and now you are in the throes of a society that almost killed me. I—I wake up every morning and everything is good and I am so afraid to lose that. I thought I was protecting you, protecting us. But I almost lost you and—”

You let out a breathy cry. “You could never lose me, Azriel.”

He pressed his forehead to yours, the wetness of his cheeks now apparent. Azriel’s hands were firm on either side of your head and his fingers laced up into your hair.

Gods, you missed him.

You missed him and everything hurt.

“I’ll do better. I’ll be better. Just please—please, don’t leave again. Please come home. Let me fix this.”

The want was overwhelming. It would be so easy to say yes, but it would be just as easy for nothing to change.

“You can’t do that again, Azriel,” you stressed, shaking your head and causing your mate to draw back. Only a breath was left between you. “You have to tell me what’s going on. You can’t—you can’t leave me in the dark. You can’t make me feel like that.”

Azriel’s head shook in desperation. “I won’t. I promise I won’t.”

“I need to know I can rely on you—trust you.”

“You can, angel.”

“I need to know that you love me.”

A pained sound escaped Azriel’s throat. He licked his lips and reaffirmed his hold on your face, locking his eyes with yours in a beseeching gaze.

“I love you more than life itself, angel. I couldn’t breathe when you were gone. I can’t believe I made you think that I don’t. You are my life. Let me show you. Please, let me show you.”

You tracked your eyes between both of his. “Okay, Azriel.”

“I’m going to keep you safe.”

“I am safe.”

“I love you.”

"I know you do, Az. I know."

#azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel x female!reader #azriel acotar #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #azriel fanfic #acotar #acotar fanfiction #azriel angst #azriel x y/n

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acotarxreader · 6 months ago

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High Lord of Game

Azriel x Reader

Synopsis: Cassian and Azriel use a simple competition to decide who deserves the title of High Lord of Game, but at what cost to you?

Warnings: Light smut, males being males

A/N: I hope you enjoy this, my first fic away from my beloved Shadow and Flame. I described this once as "silly goofy" but I was sleep-deprived and I'm no longer sure if that fits it best. Let me know what you think!

If you would like to be added to a general tag list please let me know as I didn't want to tag those who asked to be tagged on Shadow and Flame because I was unsure if that was just for that series

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“Az, give it over, I am the High Lord of Game”

“Don’t flatter yourself Cass” Azriel shoved his best friend across the path as they walked through the streets of Velaris, Winter coming to a head .

“Rhysand would agree with me” “Fine, you're the biggest whore” Azriel laughed, Cassian feigning offence, striding toward the city centre.

“I think I should wear the crown of High Lord”

“Do I sense a coup amongst my friends?” Rhysand winnowed in between the two, both laughing at the idea.

“Azriel believes he is High Lord of the Game when we all know it's me” Rhysand rolled his eyes nearly from his head at the prospect.

“Surely I am High Lord, I have a mate, therefore I've won the game” silence followed before both Illyrains locked eyes behind Rhysand, both then shoving him forward laughing.

“Don’t depress us while we have our competition Rhys”

“That's it, a competition! Az, I will choose a female for you to pursue and you for me, that will decide it once and for all” Rhysand shook his head side to side gently, happy to have Feyre but ever so slightly missing his single days, the thought dissolving almost instantly as he saw Feyre come out of her gallery laughing with another Fae.

“It's a deal” “A deal” the two shook hands, Rhysand rolling his eyes again.

“Right, that female there Cass, off you go” Azriel pointed to a fae he recognised, Cass not taking a second glance overly confident as always. He sauntered over to the fae sipping lemonade at a table outside a cafe.

“Wait isn't that-” Rhysand was cut off by Azriel laughing at Cassian and the Fae. In one swift movement, the female sloshed her full drink up and into Cassian's face before standing and storming off. Both Azriel and Rhysand were doubled over howling as Cassian stomped over soaking wet.

“Unfair, I already slept with her” Cassian scolded his two friends as they tried to gather themselves together again.

“Oh, you think you’re so funny! Fine, fine, Az your challenge is ... .YN” Azriel and Rhysand immediately stopped laughing, looking towards the Fae Feyre had left, smiling to herself, cracking open a book as Feyre winnowed away.

“Cass, give Azriel at least a small bit of a chance”

“Nah, he set me up for failure, his turn” the three stared at you again, flicking through your book.

“Fine, what are the terms?”

“Great, you have until Starfall, that gives you a chance-” Cassian beamed nudging Rhysand “-to bed her and I will crown you High Lord of Game” Azriel took a moment to ponder these words before shaking his wings slightly and striding over in your direction. A little over four months, easy he thought. Azriel hadn’t really ever taken much notice of you before, only hearing of you from Feyre talking about you volunteering with the outreach programmes. He knew she was fond of you but never introduced you to the group, he was unsure why.

“Hello” he gave his best coy smile towards you, no response from you.

“Hello there” he tried again. No response. Azriel looked over his shoulder to where his brothers stood laughing some distance away. He rolled his shoulders back undeterred and cleared his throat, raising his hand slowly to lower your book from your face.

“Hello YN” you threw him a look through your eyelashes, already over the conversation before it began. Azriel nearly forgot why he stood in front of you, captivated by your eyes.

“Yes?” you raised an eyebrow, Azriels throat completely dried out and he began to cough causing you to scoff lightly before passing him the canteen of water you had in your bag, he politely declined.

“I’m Azriel” he managed with no reply from you. Perhaps this wasn't going to be as easy as he thought.

“What are you reading YN?” “Why does it matter Shadowsinger?” you almost purred sarcastically, tucking the book into your bag.

“Just making conversation” Azriel couldn't help but come off as over it, perhaps this wasn't worth the title he’d win but then you smiled at him and he felt all the tiny hairs on his neck stand with excitement. You stood, throwing your bag across your body.

“Well thanks for the sparkling conversation Shadowsinger” you patted his shoulder pushing past him and back into the street. Azriel turned on his heels to face his smug friends.

*******

For the next two weeks, Azriel made it his mission to show up wherever you did, trying to play it off as the Gods intervention and not his careful planning and reading of Feyre's planner.

“Are you stalking me, be honest” you whipped around to him one day as you left Rita’s having met Feyre and apparently Azriel, for a drink.

“One date and I'll leave you alone” “Why?”

“Why not?” you clicked your tongue at him, thinking of the millions of reasons why not and yet you couldn't help but be pulled in his direction, to his magnetic energy.

You agreed and that's when things began to change so rapidly in both of your lives and by the one-month mark you were accompanying him to family dinners and welcomed with such open arms. Azriel had coaxed you out of your self-inflicted solitary confinement but couldn't get you quite to fully engage with his family, still that air of caution lay within you.

At Feyres birthday dinner Azriel felt it was time to be bold. Something about you, the way you smiled, the way you looked at him, he was becoming putty in your hands, hearing you laugh made him never want to hear anything ever again. Azriel sat next to you at that dinner as he did at every other meal with you, the table’s conversation ebbing and flowing around you both as always, happy to just sit in one another's presence. He couldn't help it, time to be brazen he thought.

Azriels hand found its way slowly to the top of your thigh, almost afraid as though his touch would hurt you and you'd shatter in his hands. He quickly removed his hand at the feeling of you tensing next to him, internally reprimanding himself. Azriel felt a smile grow on his face as your hand gently unfurled the fist he had made with his hand and interlocked your fingers with his, all without breaking eye contact with whoever was speaking. You were glowing, Azriel thought.

“I’m sorry to interrupt the party but I must make tracks for home” You gave a smile to the room sometime later, slipping your hand from Azriel again where he instantly missed it.

“I'll walk with you, I could do with the stretch after the meal” You gave a small smile to Azriels words, fetching your jacket. Cassian gave Azriel a coy smirk causing Azriel to send a shadow to knock Cassian's wine into his shirt. You both left River House as Cassian gave out loudly.

You both idly walked down the winding streets of Velaris, entirely comfortable in the silence that surrounded you until you both reached the bottom gate of your small townhouse.

“Well I had a really nice time YN, maybe see you tomorrow” Azriel moved from you, happy to leave it there, not wanting you to feel pushed.

“Wait Az” you reached, catching him by his suit jacket collar, pulling him down to meet your lips. Electricity coursed through Azriel’s veins, electric, he was being electrified by you.

“Well goodbye, see you tomorrow” you pulled suddenly from him, hurried words spoken as you released his collar and moved to run and hide. His turn to catch you by surprise, he almost swept you back to meet his lips again, every nerve buzzing to life, every cell wanting more.

That set off the whirlwind relationship you both deserved. By February you had both learned to trust one another entirely. He confided in you about his difficult childhood and you about your violent tumultuous previous relationship. In three and a half months you both became inseparable, teaching and taunting one another and so entirely happy whilst taking things slow as you worked through your leftover relationship issues.

Azriel sat in the booth with his friends, you working late with Feyre one weekend evening.

“So should we be getting you fitted for a crown yet Az?” “What are you talking about?” Azriel laughed, Cassian raising an eyebrow, going to explain before you came into the bar with Feyre, instantly joining the friend group, and pulling Azriel to the bar top with you.

************************

Azriel stood with his brothers in their coordinating gem-tone suits basking in the moonlight of Starfall. You arrived with the rest of the females but Azriel didn’t see any of the others the moment his eyes landed on you. A simple slip dress the silver colour of the very stars that shone above. He found his throat dry out again as it had that very first time he looked into your eyes. You kissed his cheek and smiled, he couldn't quite believe his luck to share this night with you. Azriel took your hand, twirling you while you laughed before escorting you to the dance floor where you stayed for what felt like hours.

Azriel showed you around The House of Wind, arriving at the balcony of his room as the spirits began to transverse the sky above. You both radiated such pure peace as the sky filled with lights, Azriel caught your hand in his, pulling you into his chest. You leaned up kissing him, the sky illuminated. His hands went to your hips as yours went around his shoulders, deepening the kiss further.

“I think I’m in love with you Azriel” you said so quietly separating briefly.

“I know I’m in love with you YN” He placed a soft kiss on your forehead before you backed away leading him by the hand back towards his bed. You both kissed there for a moment, growing hungrier and hungrier for one another. Usually, you would have stopped by now, feelings of unresolved trauma in you taking the reins. But not this time.

“Are you okay YN?” you just nodded at him before pulling your slip dress over your head, turning and crawling deeper into the bed, beckoning Azriel with you. He hovered over you, taking you all in, his very own Goddess. He kissed down your neck, checking in with you before removing his own shirt. You traced up the grooves of his abdomen, sending a shiver through his wings as you smiled.

“I wish I could look at you smiling forever” “Maybe you can” he lowered back down to kiss you at your words.

A screech of rusty hinges being twisted separated you both as the door of Azriels room swung open, a very very drunk Cassian stumbling in. Azriel threw his shirt to cover you, launching himself towards the door.

“Get out Cass!” “Oh A-zzz I did-n’t know you wer-e in here” he slurred, Azriel catching the door trying to close it in Cassian's face.

“YN- heeeeeey. Oh shit! A-m I interrupting the cr-owning of the High L-ord of Game” a shiver shot down Azriel at these words, he had forgotten. He had totally and utterly forgotten. You pulled your dress back over your head, slipping from the bed almost laughing in confusion.

“What Cassian?”

“It's gonn-a be your weddin-g story! How roman-tic a bet turning in-to lov-e, who’d have though-t it '' The giant Illyrian took another deep sip from his cup, one he definitely didn't need, your laughter coming to a complete halt.

“Get the fuck out of here Cassian!” Azriel gained the upper hand finally slamming the door in his drunk brother's face. He turned to look at you, sheet white like you’d seen a ghost. You took deep measured breaths, trying to prevent full scale hyperventilation.

“YNN”

“Don’t call me that”

“Please listen to me” you were hurriedly searching for your bag, Azriel had his arms out as though he was trying to stop a wild horse.

“Az-Azriel, was there or was there not a competition or bet or what-the-fuck-ever based around our relationship” you stood before him, wild-eyed, begging and wishing and hoping that what came out of his mouth next would make this all go away.

“Yes…it's why I talked to you that first day- but wait please!” You had pushed past him at these words, straight for the bedroom door, needing out.

“-But YN then I fell for you! I forgot about the stupid competition! I swear! I promise, please, I need you” your back was to him as he spoke these words, fist around the door handle.

“What you need Azriel is for someone to build your fragile masculinity and I’m sorry but I am not the Fae for you” you whipped the door open, stepping over a passed out Cassian and running down the hallway from the mess.

************************

A week had passed, Feyre practically forbidding Azriel from seeing you after hearing of the whole ordeal. Azriel still was yet to speak to Cassian but really his anger was mostly at himself. He completely messed up.

You opened your front door a week after what happened to find Azriel sat at your garden gate. You went to close the door again but he shot towards you.

“Azriel” you glared.

“Please speak to me YN” you sighed, closing the door on him, not ready for it all.

“I'll wait here for you! I’ll wait forever for you” he sat back down on the step and there he stayed for almost 48 hours.

You looked out through your bedroom window at him sitting below in the rain on your doorstep. You sighed before heading down the stairs, opening the door and staring down at the soaked Illyrian.

“Can I please talk to you now?” you sighed at his words, just stepping back from the door beckoning him in. He didn't need to be told twice, darting into your living room. You crossed your arms as you watched him shake the water from his wings.

“I know you probably have questi-” “Why Azriel? Tell me why! I've been racking my brain for over a week and I can’t figure out why you would do this to me” you raised your voice to him, something you’d never done before to him and it rattled him slightly.

“To build my fragile masculinity” he attempted a joke, gaining a pillow thrown at him by you for him to dodge.

“Okay, because I am a big Illyrian idiot who had no idea how hard I’d fall for you! I had no idea someone like you would fall for me! I completely just lost all sense of judgement! He practically slumped to the floor, tears brimming in his eyes.

“Are you…are you crying?” you moved slowly towards the slumped Shadowsinger.

“Yes! I completely fucked up so bad YN and I am so beyond sorry for even causing you any ounce of pain!”

“Get up off the floor Az, you're destroying your fragile masculinity” you gave a small smile, reaching out your hand and pulling him to his feet. You sat down on your sofa, still holding his hand, nudging your head to the side indicating for him to sit. He then explained the details of the competition at your request.

“I know I am the scum of the earth but I promise I totally forgot about it when I started to get to know you and it was beyond the furthest thing from my mind when we…when last week happened” his voice shook at the end of his tale of betrayal.

“I must be crazy” you shook your head side to side.

“No you’re not YN”

“Yes, I am because I believe you” he met your eyes frantically as you rubbed the back of his hand.

“So you still want to be with me?!” “Yes, stupidly” you half laughed and he matched you.

“But you or Cassian pull anything even close to this shit again and I'll castrate you both and throw you into the river” “I'll lend you the blade to do so” Azriel smiled.

“I love you YNN” “I- I can't say that back right now Az” his heart sank for a moment before he spoke again.

“That’s alright YNN, I love us enough for the both of us anyway” Azriel moved to kiss you in the way he dreamed of since that night.

“Ah ah ah-” you pulled back and shook your finger at him smiling.

“-Back to hand holding Az” “Okay, great, I can do that” You both sat there for a moment in that familiar comfortable silence you both thought you'd never feel again.

“Okay that’s enough hand-holding,” you said hurriedly, pushing yourself on top of him to straddle his lap as he sat, kissing him deeply.

“Thank the Gods” he laughed into the kiss.

“You wouldn't have lasted with just hand-holding anyways” you nudged him.

“Wanna bet?” he grinned, gaining a hand into the chest again before sharing a searing kiss once again.

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inkedinshadows · 29 days ago

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All Tied Up

Day 7: Bondage — Azriel x f!reader

Warnings: oral (f receiving), p in v, praise

Word count: 1.072

“You look so pretty like this.”

You lay on the bed, spread out and at your mate’s mercy. Quite literally at his mercy, since Azriel had secured your hands to the headboard and then, still not satisfied, managed to tie your ankles to your thighs so that your legs were bent. The only movement you were allowed was closing and opening your legs, though you were sure that he was already thinking of a way to keep you from doing that too and that he would eventually figure it out.

Not that you minded, actually. Other than to fasten the soft rope, Azriel hadn’t yet touched you, but you were already soaking wet just at the prospect of what was about to happen.

The Shadowsinger knelt between your legs, caressing your thighs and calves with his scarred hands.

“Tied up and helpless,” he went on as he leaned closer. His mouth brushed over your neck, a featherlight touch of his lips before he moved to your collarbone and then down to your breasts.

You knew this game. You knew he was going to tease you until you were a squirming mess, just because he could. There was nothing you could do to stop him, and no amount of begging would convince him to skip that part and just fuck you.

Yet, his name left your lips in a pleading murmur the exact moment his tongue flicked your pert nipple. Azriel chuckled softly, the sound skittering across your heated skin and giving you goosebumps.

His mouth latched onto your breast, and you arched toward him. His golden eyes found yours as he sucked gently, and you couldn’t stop the moan that broke free at the sight, hands twisting in your restraints, itching to find their way into his hair to keep him close.

“So eager,” he drawled. “You like being at my mercy, don’t you, bunny?”

“Yes… Yes, Azriel,” you breathed, hoping it would be enough to have him give you what you wanted, but already knowing it wasn’t happening any time soon.

“I bet you’re also dripping right now,” he continued. “The smell of your arousal is overwhelming.”

One of his hands moved between your thighs and he dragged two fingers up your cunt, gathering your slickness while you quivered. But as quickly as it had come, his touch disappeared when he brought his digits to his lips and licked them clean with a satisfied hum.

“You always taste so good, love.”

“Then please,” you murmured, hips raising slightly to try and grind against his cock, but he was keeping his body too elevated for you to reach him in your bound state. “Don’t torture me.”

Azriel held your stare for a few seconds before he trailed kisses down your stomach. He pushed your bent legs further apart, and for a moment you really thought he was going to give in to your plea… only for him to leave a soft kiss just above your clit.

“But where would the fun be in that?” he drawled.

He smirked when you groaned, fingers gripping your thighs. “I know you love this, though. Or you wouldn’t let me do it.”

He was right, of course. The build-up and helplessness of your situation only added to the pleasure, later leading to a mind-blowing orgasm. When Azriel finally let you have it, that was. But you weren’t about to admit any of that, or he would drag it out for even longer. Also, you were sure he already knew.

“Az, please…” you said instead. “At least give me something.”

It was as if he had been waiting for you to ask that. His tongue immediately darted out to give your clit kitten licks, which was not enough but still better than nothing.

You tried to lift your hips, but Azriel held you down with one big hand and simply continued his slow teasing. Out of other options, you brought your legs closer to each other, effectively trapping your mate’s head between them.

He just chuckled. “I’d happily let you choke me with your thighs, love. This won’t get you anywhere.”

Your frustrated sigh turned into a small yelp when he bit the soft flesh of your inner thigh.

“Behave now,” he reprimanded you. “Or I’ll stop touching you.”

You knew he’d do it. It was his punishment—leaving you tied up, forced to watch as he pumped his cock, so close to you and yet out of your reach, until you were begging for even just a flick of your tongue on his tip.

Not something you were looking forward to at the moment.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered as your legs relaxed a bit. “I will behave.”

Azriel’s smile was almost feral. “Good girl.”

And so, the torture began. Kitten licks, soft nibbles, slow thrusts of his tongue inside you while his hands held you open for him. You were a mess, whimpering and squirming, pulling on your restraints on both wrists and legs. Pleas mixed with his name as if it were a prayer—sometimes murmured and sometimes screamed—but he only chuckled.

You had no idea how much time passed. It could have been minutes, or hours, or even days, when his voice echoed in the room again.

“You want to come, bunny?”

“Yes… fuck, yes, please…” you breathed.

“I’ll let you come, then.”

Those were probably the most beautiful words you had ever heard, and you almost cried just at the sound of them.

You whined as Azriel pulled away, but his mouth was quickly replaced by his cock pushing in with a single thrust. You screamed when he set a punishing rhythm, hitting your deepest spot with each roll of his hips, and when his fingers began to tease your clit, it was a matter of seconds before you came with a loud moan. Your legs quivered, shaking with the need to splay out on the bed while pleasure overwhelmed you, but the bindings made it impossible for you to move.

Azriel eagerly fucked you through it all, groaning alongside you as you squeezed his cock, but after you settled down again, he grabbed your chin with a hand to make meet his hazel gaze.

“I’m not even close to being done with you, bunny,” he growled, free hand undoing the ropes on your thighs. He didn’t touch the ones on your wrists. “You know that, right? We’ve still got all night.”

General taglist: @mrsjna @navyblue-eternity @paintedbyshadows @highladyandromeda @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @azrielsmate3 @mollygetssherlockcoffee @mirandasidefics @tinystarfishgalaxy @cynthiesjmxazrielslover @anarchiii @readinggeeklmao @anneas11 @azrielslittleslut @lilah-asteria @aaahhh0127 @lorosette @azrielsrealmate @pey2618 @mellowmusings

Kinktober taglist: @thyellablackk @p1nkfluffysocks @maddieboo8 @a-courtof-azriel @whataenginerd @loviseamms @chaconnelatte @okaytrashpanda @scarsandallaz @velarisdusk

#kinktober 2024 #azriel #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #azriel x reader #azriel x y/n #azriel fanfic #azriel smut #acotar #acotar smut #acotar fic #acotar x reader #a court of thorns and roses #sjm #sarah j maas #smut #fanfic #kinktober

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elrielbaby · 2 months ago

Text

The hope I carry with me.

Alright, folks. This is the first thing I’ve written in bloody years. It’s rough, I did it in about 20 minutes and I did it on the notes app on my phone bcos my laptop doesn’t get here til Sunday and the idea was literally not leaving me alone so I had to get it out - so I apologise in advance if there’s any spelling/grammar issues, I did go through it but the notes app is not the best thing to write in 😆 it’s based on a headcanon I have that Elain & Az will have to bathe after their secret rendezvous, in order to hide the others scent. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

As the sun rose over Velaris, Elain lay her head on Azriels chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. The gossamer curtains of the four poster bed were drawn around them, swaying gently in the breeze. They wore nothing but their skin and even in sleep, Azriel held her as if she might slip from his grasp at any given moment - gentle, but with a hint of aggression that threatened anyone who might take him from her.

Elain had begun to stir as the sun rose. She knew what was coming, and she hated it. She wanted to live in this moment for as long as possible, in the peace and quiet with the one who understood her best, the male who had captivated her heart and soul. A change in his breathing let Elain know that he was awake, so she began to draw light circles on his ribs and pressed a kiss to his chest.

“Good morning, my love” he murmured, resting his cheek on her head “what time is it?”

“It’s still early” she replied “we have time.”

A wicked gleam entered Azriels eyes and with that his hands were in her hair, his mouth was on hers and she was on her back as they began to make love for the fourth time since they’d reunited the previous evening.

The sexual appetites of the Fae had shocked her, but none more so than her own. She had wanted as a human, yes, that much was clear by her short lived connection with Greyson… but turning Fae had turned her hunger to starvation, and no one made her feel as famished as Azriel. It was one of the many reasons their relationship being a secret was so painful.

She wanted him so much it was agonising to be apart, to pretend at family gatherings. She ached for the day they could be together openly, with nothing and no one standing against them. She yearned for the mundane, Azriel coming home after a long day, or her returning from work to find him working on reports from their home. She longed to make dinner plans, for them privately but also for their family, where they could be open and honest about their love. She wanted nothing more than to be able to make small plans and decisions with him - what they should get Nyx for his birthday and solstice, if they should go on a couples retreat with Nesta & Cassian, what they were having for dinner, what colour they should paint the walls in the hallway, where they should place the portraits and where to plant the flowers in the garden.

After a particularly emotional reaction from the pair of them at the prospect of leaving each other again, Azriel had been ready to let the world burn for her. He had been ready to march into Rhys’ office and tell him everything - Elain had stopped him. It was too soon, after the birth of Nyx & the politics of Prythian were still all together too precarious. They couldn’t risk alienating Lucien, although she was sure he wanted as much to do with her as she with him, she needed to be sure, and to minimise the potential fall out.

“I love you” Azriel whispered, his eyes brimming with emotion as he looked at her.

“I love you” she whispered back, and with that they were both falling over the edge, coming together.

They lay entwined, sweaty, breathless, their foreheads pressed together.

“It’s time” he said, his thumb stroking her cheek.

She sighed as she heard the bath tub filling in the bathroom adjoined to their room. They had to do this every time they lay together. Scrub every inch of their skin, in order to remove the scent from the other. Azriel wasn’t as much of an issue, he could somehow hide much of his scent from others although he’d never explained how he was able to do that. Elain however, was covered in him. She loved it, and that’s why she hated this part. She was desperate for the world to know they belonged to each other, that they had chosen to be together - as mortifying as the prospect of her family knowing just exactly what she’d been up to actually was.

Azriel scooped Elain into his arms and walked her through the doorway to the bathroom, placing her gently in the water. The temperature was perfect, soothing the aches from their more fervent couplings, and it was scented with cherry blossom & tea rose, her favourite. Azriel sat on the floor, his head resting on the tub watching as Elain scrubbed at herself half heartedly. The sadness in his eyes wrecked her, and she knew that she wore a similar expression. Once she was done, hair and body washed thoroughly, Azriel gestured for her to stand as he wrapped her in a towel and drained the tub. He carried her back to the freshly stripped bed, and set her down gently.

“This never gets any easier does it?” She said, her voice thick with emotion.

“No,” he replied “it gets more painful with every passing day. I don’t have your powers of foresight, Elain. But if there’s one thing I know for certain it’s this - we won’t be doing this forever. At some point, the pot will boil over, neither one of us will be able to stand it anymore and we’ll tell everyone. Or, we’ll stop caring so much about what everyone thinks, or how everyone else feels, we’ll get sloppy and they’ll figure it out. I hope it’s the latter, but I don’t really care which way it happens, so long as this road we’re travelling ends with me being able to call you my wife, to love you openly. So long as it ends with us loving each other in the small moments and the big ones, and all the moments in between I will be happy. That is the hope I carry in my heart every day I’m forced to be without you”

The tears Elain had been keeping at bay spilled over, Azriel catching them with his thumbs.

She once again pressed her forehead to his and said “that is the hope I carry with me too”

#elain archeron x azriel #elriel #pro elriel #elriel fanfic #elriel fanfiction #elriel fic

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crimsonwritings · 7 months ago

Text

His girl

Pairing: Cassian x female reader

Summary: Cassian finally makes a move on Y/N.

Warnings: reader being insecure about herself, slight mention of body shaming.

Words: 2.4k

A/N: This was written for @starfallweek hosted by @azsazz and @writingsbychlo. Am I entirely happy with it? No. Do I want to be part of this amazing event anyway? Yes.

378 years 4 months and 19 days. That’s how long Cassian had been in love with her. Ever since that day, when Rhysand came back from a visit at the Hewn City with her in his arms, saying that she would stay with them from now on. Her family had seen a potential threat in her, because of the powers she showed. Someone who disturbed the stability of their ridiculous culture. But it was the fact that nobody wanted to marry her that had made her father scream at her, blaming her for the blindness of any potential husband.

Cassian still didn’t understand how anybody could say no to her. Her face wasn’t pretty enough they had said. Her body not tender enough, her teeth not straight enough. As if she was a mare, ready for breeding. Nonsense. He had been captivated by her beauty since the moment he met her and if somebody would have asked him he would have married her right away.

Now he was standing at the bar in the House of Wind, to grab some drinks for himself and his friends and all he could think about was her. He wondered why she still wasn’t here yet. She loved Starfall and she wouldn’t miss it by any chance but maybe something had happened? Should he go check on her? No, she surely had a date anyway who would accompany her. They were probably enjoying some alone time right now before they would eventually show up. Cassian desperately tried not to imagine her kissing somebody else, their hands gliding down that beautiful body, whispering sweet nothings into her ear…

“You know, if you grab that glass any tighter it’ll break.” Cassian jumped at the voice of the shadowsinger behind him.

“Cauldron Az, could you stop sneaking up on me like that?” He turned around to the sight of an amused looking Illyrian.

“Oh believe me, I wasn’t sneaking. You were just so deep in your thoughts that you wouldn’t have realised if a whole army stood behind you.”

“Haha, very funny. What do you even want?” He hated to be moody towards one of his eldest friends, but the picture of the girl he loved in the hands of someone else was still to present in his head.

Azriel didn’t seem to be bothered by it. “Figured you’d need some help carrying five glasses. Though I guess Rhys and Feyre won’t drink something any time soon. They just left. Together.”

The prospect of his brother finally making a move on his mate filled Cassian with excitement. “So you think it’s gonna happen? Rhysie is gonna get his girl?”

Azriel only shrugged his shoulders. For any other person it would have seemed like he didn’t care about Rhysands love life but Cassian knew exactly that the shadowsinger was just as invested in it as him. “The odds are good. But if I were you I wouldn’t be worrying about him but myself. So, are you finally gonna make a move on her tonight?”

The fact that Azriel didn’t even use her name was indicator enough that everyone knew about the Generals hopeless feelings towards her. “Oh common Az, you know she isn’t interested in me that way. I mean we are friends! For almost four centuries we’ve been friends!”

“Really?” A smirk was creeping up on Azriels face as if he knew something Cassian didn’t know.

Frustration streamed through him, he had to put down the drink and hold on to the counter, fearing he might throw the glass at the next wall. “Yes! And it doesn’t matter anyway, because she definitely has a date for tonight.”

“Does she now? Well turn around.” As Cassian did he set his eyes on the most breathtaking creature he had ever seen.

Y/N walked into the room, in a dress that shimmered like the moon itself. It was hugging her beautiful curves, then flowed to the ground from right beneath her hips, getting wider the lower it got. Oh, what he would have given to be the one to help her out of this dress later on. Her hair was pinned up, leaving her long neck on display. Cassian wanted to mark every inch of it with his tongue and teeth, until all the males in Prythian knew that she belonged with him.

His heartbeat rose up at the sight of her. She looked like a freaking goddess, drawing all the attention on her. It seemed like everyone wanted to know who the beautiful girl was. Did she even realise how they were staring at her? Women, who looked like they either wanted to kill her, or be her? Men longing after her, just like he did right now?

If she had noticed the attention lying on her she ignored it, for she strode threw the crowd, chin up, her eyes scanning the room as if she was looking for someone.

But the prettiest sight, even though he hated himself for it, was the fact that there was no other man on her arm. “She is alone!”

Cassian had whispered the words to himself, still in trance from the sight of her. He had not realised that the shadowsinger still stood behind him.“Yep, she is. And I can tell you the exact two reasons why.”

The General couldn’t tear his eyes from her. He feared she would disappear if he did, as if she was only an illusion. Thankfully Azriel seemed to understand as he spoke on without a request. “You do realise that you are literally growling at every male that comes near her? It’s like you are her personal guard dog who is following her around everywhere.”

Now the frustration crept back into Cassian and he broke his stare, trying to ignore the physical pain he felt in his chest while doing so. “Wait, you are making it sound like it’s my fault! Oh great, so she is probably pissed at me too.”

Azriel wore that annoying smirk again, Cassian could have punched him in the face for it. He decided to look at her again instead. “Well, she should be pissed if she really wanted to have somebody else as her date. Yet, she isn’t. Which leads me to reason number two.”

“Oh yeah, and what would that be?”

“The fact that she is so absolutely disinterested in any of those guys that they can see it on her face. She might speak to them and smile at them, but her eyes only ever light up when she looks at you.” As if on clue Y/N’s eyes met Cassian’s and rested there. She was gifting him a radiant smile and her eyes…they glittered as if they held a thousand stars in them. It was that moment he realised that she had been searching the room for him. And that the man who was now laying a scarred hand on his shoulder had been right.

“Please, do us all a favour and go get your girl, brother.” With that Azriel grabbed the drinks for him and Mor and silently made his way back to where their friend was located.

Cassian started to move. He needed to get to her as soon as possible. She was like a magnetic force pulling him to her and it seemed like she might have felt the same as she took her steps in his direction. They never broke eye contact on their sheer never ending way to each other. When they finally met each other in the middle of the room he was so overwhelmed by her presence that he couldn’t say anything but a whispered “Hi”.

She grinned up at him, got on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “Hi”

Cassian could literally feel the blush threatening to reveal him. He decided to distract her from it. “Didn’t you want to bring someone with you?”

“No, nobody asked me to be honest. But I guess I should have considered that. It’s probably just me…I mean it’s always been that way, right?” Cassian knew that look on her face. He had seen it multiple times, whenever Y/N started to feel low about herself, started to believe those ugly words these men had spoken to her a lifetime ago.

It wasn’t his intention, to make her feel like this on maybe the most important day in her years schedule.

His brain tried to find a solution for the mess he navigated himself into. He wanted to cheer her up, to spend a fairytale like evening with her before he would confess everything he kept secret from her ever since the both of them met.

But his silly little heart acted faster than he could think about something. “I’m asking you!”

“What?” Now it was her turn to blush.

There was no going back now. There would be no perfect timing and no privacy. He would tell her right here, right now, with maybe a hundred people gathering around them, in the middle of the ballroom. And if all of Velaris would call him a lovesick fool by tomorrow so be it. He didn’t give a damn about it. “I’m asking you to be my date!”

There was utter disbelief in her eyes and something that looked like worry. “Cassian, are you drunk or something?”

“Yes I am sweetheart. Drunk on you. But if you mean drunk in the traditional way then no, I’m not.”

“Cassie…” Her bashful gaze dropped to the ground. There was a strain in her voice that almost sounded like sadness, because she was afraid. Afraid that the man in front of her was only playing with her, not meaning anything he said right now.

Another small gesture Cassian recognised about her. It felt like she was a mysterious book, written in a language only he could decipher.

He used his fingers to lift up her chin, desperate for her to see the truth in his eyes.

“I should have asked you that earlier I know that. I wanted to ask you but I was so scared that you would say no and that I would risk whatever we have between us. But tonight I’ve realised what an idiot I’ve been who misinterpreted everything, or at least I hope so because otherwise this could end badly. Well, even if it does I want to say it because you deserve to know how I feel about you and I want you to see what an amazing person you are.”

Cassian had rambled his words so fast, his lungs forced him to take a breath before his crucial statement. “I love you Y/N…So will you give me the honour and make me the happiest man alive by being mine? For Starfall and for eternity?”

Her eyes went wide in surprise, her mouth agape. She looked at him as if he came from another world, as if she had never seen him before. Cassian could almost see her brain trying to realise what he had just said.

He wasn’t sure how long they stood like this, but her silence was killing him. This moment, where he could do nothing but wait for her response that didn’t seem to come. Facing that thing under the library again appeared less stressful than the uncertainty he currently found himself in. “Sweetheart? Not that I want to sound rude, but I think this is the part where you should say something.“

The disbelief in her eyes turned into mischief and before Cassian could register it she was wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him down and kissing him.

He had expected a lot of things. Tears, because he had ruined their friendship. Or that she would burst out into anger, maybe throwing a shoe at his head like Feyre did to Rhysand. That she would never want to see him again. Yet she was kissing him, in front of everyone else. As if she had planned to do it for the longest time. Just like he did.

Kissing her was like everything he expected it to be and more. A thousand butterflies erupted in his stomach, travelling through his body to kiss every part that was him awake. Her fingers tangled in his hair and he moaned into the kiss at the feeling of it. There was a soft voice in his head, singing over and over again. Mine, mine, mine.

The Illyrian already missed her lips when she pulled away, chasing after them to feel the softness again, to taste their sweetness. Cauldron, he was obsessed with her by only one kiss. In that moment she could have told him to jump from the balcony with his wings bound together, like once during the blood rite, he would have done it.

She started to leave soft kisses on his neck, travelling up to his ear, and if the act itself didn’t drive him crazy than her hummed word definitely did. “Yes!”

Cassian couldn’t help but growl at her answer and in the next second he lifted her up and spun her around, enjoying the beautiful sound that was her laughter.

When the music started to play he put her back on her feet. Her hair was now slightly out of place, face a little bit red, but for Cassian she was still stunning. He wanted to take her to his room, to show her just how gorgeous she was in his opinion, but this would have to wait. For this was Starfall and he wanted to spend it with her. So he performed a slight bow in front of her, taking her hand in his to put a light kiss on her knuckles. „Would you like to dance with me, my lady?“

He could have sworn her giggles lit up the whole ball room before she answered him. „I would love to dance with you, General. Until the sun creeps up behind the mountains again.“

And so they did. They were dancing the whole night, never breaking eye contact and only stopped to watch the magnificent sight of the souls travelling along the sky. Later, when the thoughtful celebration had turned into a party, they could be seen dancing with their friends, sharing their luck with them.

The whispers that could be heard throughout Velaris the next day were positive ones, stating what a beautiful couple the both of them made. Although some claimed to have seen the General tackling their High Lord to the ground when he returned with the cursebreaker, laughing and screaming while doing so. “Rhysie! I have a girlfriend now!”

Tags: @hellodarling1357

#cassian x y/n #cassian x you #cassian #cassian x reader #acotar #acotar fanfiction #starfall #velaris #night court

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twost3ps · 3 months ago

Note

I became curious about archangels's attitude towards Cain. According to sources, it is said that the first son of Adam is cursed to wander the earth as a sign of punishment for his sin.

Could Cain have a chance at redemption and meeting his father? How would he react to them with his dad? And they?

Imo cain still walks the earth and stays walking the earth. He's immortal in that aspect- wandering nomad whooooo

Since he doesn't die, there is no redemption for him

Until like, the planet explodes.

As for the archangels, they are a bit wary of him. Bit iffy at first, but that comes with him being the first murderer. But Adam got them whipped so with a bit of pleaing and begging, they let Adam down to earth with supervision of atleast one other angel.

They all do adore how happy Cain makes Adam though so they all grow to like him, some more than others,

Azrael likes him the most and keeps him company sometimes. He's like the only person Az can't bring the soul of. He likes to rile Cain up by talking about how he's dating his dad, and Cain, ever the daddy's boy, does not like the prospect.

#adamsangels #cain hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel azrael #deadlyguitar

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qwimblenorrisstan · 3 months ago

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Beach Day | Cassian x Reader

Summary: During a lengthy visit to Day Court with the Inner Circle, so Rhys and Feyre can discuss political matters with Helion, you and the Inner Circle find more entertaining things to do, such as have a beach day.

Word Count: ~1k

Warnings: None! Other than cass slamming his toes into rocks

A/N: Another little fluffy drabble for @cassianappreciationweek , hope you enjoy<3

Requests are open!

There were few days when Cassian was able to simply lay back and relax, but luckily today, it was one of them.

Rhys and Feyre were busy in Day Court with Helion, and so naturally, most if not all of his Inner Circle was dragged along, especially Cassian and Azriel. Whenever they’d arrived, Helion had only given the two a wink as he’d led the High Lord and Lady of Night Court into his personal office, declaring that it would be a “Private conversation.”

Azriel had bristled at that, but with a lazy grin and a hand on his shoulder, Cassian had gently led him away and out of their palace. If there was one thing Day Court was notorious for along with Dawn Court, it was the beaches on their shores. Velaris didn’t have such beaches in general, only the rocky shores that lined Night Court.

“C’mon Az, if we’re gonna be stuck here waiting for Rhys, we might as well enjoy it.”

Cassian said, giving his brother a pleasing look. Azriel only sighed, shadows wielding, excited at the prospect of swimming, as it wasn’t something they often did.

“Fine. Go swim with the rest of them.”

He grumbled, but before he could object, Cassian grinned and picked Azriel up, already bounding down the streets of Day Court (getting many weird looks from the locals on the way) to the little nearly vacant home Helion had provided for Rhys and the rest of your menagerie while they were here.

As he opened the door, finally setting Az down and giving him a look that said “Go get your swimsuit, or else.”, he was greeted by a distanced hug from you, his mate. He could already tell that you were overheating, too used to the constant soothing breeze and persisting chill of Velaris.

“We’re going swimming!”

He announced loudly enough for everyone to hear, including Mor and Amren who were lounging on the couch, fanning themselves with whatever was in hand. They gave exasperated groans.

“It’s hotter than hell out there, Cass.”

Mor complained, looking miserable.

“Yeah, well the water’ll cool you off, I’m sure.”

He said, rolling his eyes as he followed you to the bedroom that you two had claimed as your own, and he yanked his leathers off, his undergarments as well as he slid into a pair of shorts that were mostly water resistant and suitable for swimming. You had already changed into your swimsuit of choice, a bikini in the same shade of red as his siphons, one that would no doubt drive him crazy.

When they all got done changing, Azriel’s cheeks a light pink from the pink trunks Cassian had made him wear, being the only thing he had to swim in, everyone made Cassian carry their towels, and donned some sort of sandals as they walked outside into the suffocating heat of the summer sun, quickly walking down to the beaches of Day Court, and quickly wading into the water.

They only had a respite for the briefest of moments before Cassian splashed Azriel, and Azriel splashed back harder, accidentally getting you as well, until you were all splashing and thrashing like maniacs in the cool water. Mor and Amren didn’t seem to care much for the playing, both getting inflatables out of nowhere (and judging by the sounds of confused beachgoers, probably stole them) and floating on them, occasionally taking a dip in the water to cool off.

“I bet I can make a better sandcastle than you.”

Cassian declared to you, and you grinned ferociously back, both storming up to the beach to make the best sandcastle.

However, you already knew how Cassian played, so you made sure to include a layer of rocks in the bottom of yours covered by sand, and if anyone tried to kick it, their toes would meet jagged rock edges. You began building up layers, adding dry sand, then water, then compacting it, then wet sand, and then starting over again in a cycle.

Once your little cylinder-like shape was built up, you used seashells nearby to decorate the side, and tying some random part of a nearby plastic bag onto a thin, long stick, you made a tiny flag of trash and stuck it in the middle of your sandcastle on the very top.

You glanced over at Cassian’s sandcastle, it was more oval-shaped than anything, like a sad attempt at recreating a football, and it had some random shells strewn about on it.

“Done!”

He exclaimed, glancing over at yours as his grin turned to a playful scowl.

“Try-hard,”

He muttered under his breath, and you rolled your eyes, looking over at Azriel who was just standing in the water, watching, not seeming sure what to do. You beckoned him over.

“Come judge our sandcastles, Az!”

You called out, and he met your gaze, his own shining with amusement as he strode up and started examining your mate’s castle.

“Is the oval shape intentional?”

He asked in a dryly amused tone, and Cassian shot him a glare.

“Yes, it was.”

He said defensively, chest puffing out as you snorted, and Mor did too as she watched from the water. Azriel then moved to look at your sandcastle, observing it for all of two seconds before declaring his decision.

“Y/N won.”

He said, shaking his head in fond exasperation as he turned to move back into the water that shielded him from the harsh sun. That was when Cassian grumbled something under his breath, stomping over to your sandcastle even as you began following Az to the water.

You nudged Azriel with your elbow, both of you turning just in time to see Cassian’s foot go back and slam right into the rock base of your sandcastle as he howled and held his foot, glaring at you with a glimmer of begrudging respect for you somehow knowing what he was going to do.

Az quietly chuckled, even as Cassian huffed and hopped over to you on one foot, entering the water again.

“You’re going to pay for that once we get home,”

He murmured to you, and you only gave a lazy, sly smirk back.

“Worth it.”

#acotar fanfiction #acotar fandom #writers on tumblr #acotar x reader #acotar fluff #cassianappreciationweek #cassian fluff #cassian #cassian acotar #cassian x reader #cassian x you #cassian x y/n

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prythianpages · 1 year ago

Text

ACOSM | The Night she played the violin for her Father

azriel x rhysand's sister (oc)

warnings: angst

summary: Valeria has a violin solo that doesn't end as she had hoped. ft possessive Az

A/N: this is an imagine among my collection that follow Rhysand's sister, Valeria. while I'm still working on them, you can find the masterlist for it here. I was able to update this so quickly because I had already written this awhile back. I probably won't be able to update again until next weekend.

Valeria had never been nervous to perform. Music was second nature to her, it flowed through her veins. She loved it. She lived for it.

The announcement of her solo for the Night Court’s annual concert was exciting and thrilling. She had poured her heart into her audition, dedicating countless hours to perfecting her performance. The piece she performed was one composed by her grandmother.

It had brought those who were in the audience during the auditions to tears and the orchestra’s conductor had recognized the tune immediately. He was the one who told her the song was an ode her grandmother composed for her beloved son, Valeria’s father. One that many struggled to interpret and perform with the same emotion her grandmother would. Doubts of favoritism nagged at her, fearing she only secured the solo due to her family name. Yet, the orchestra’s genuine love and praise for her silenced those concerns. They were overjoyed to have her join them.

As the performance date drew near, the initial thrill morphed into a relentless anxiety, all due to the daunting prospect of her father’s attendance. She had casually reminded him a couple days prior and he had responded with a thoughtful hum–an interaction her heart clung to desperately.

Valeria had rehearsed her grandmother’s composition countless times after the audition. Every chord and note was etched in her heart. She was confident in her abilities yet, she could do nothing to ease her nerves. What if she was not good enough for the only person’s opinion she cared for?

She hated how much power her father had over her, the weight of his approval was heavy.

Her fingers trembled slightly as she reached to clasp her beloved necklace.

“Allow me.” A voice chimed in, startling her but her body relaxed under the familiar and warm touch.

“You’ve got to stop doing that.” Valeria exhaled as her gaze met Azriel’s through the reflection of her vanity’s mirror, referring to the way the dear shadowsinger had gotten into the habit of sneaking up on her.

Azriel shrugged with a smirk, his shadows swirling around him. “You left the balcony doors open.”

Valeria hummed in acknowledgement, realizing she had indeed left the doors to her balcony open. It had become an unspoken invitation between them–an open balcony meant Azriel was welcome, making his nightly visits easier with the assistance of his shadows.

As Valeria remained uncharacteristically quiet, Azriel sensed her nerves. With a frown, he turned her around to face him. He grasped her smaller hands in his, noticing the blisters on her fingers as he gently held them.

She met his gaze, finding comfort in the way his hazel eyes radiated warmth and reassurance. “You’re going to do great today.”

“What if he doesn’t show up?” Her bottom lip quivered, threatening to curve down into a frown.

“He’d be a fool not to.”

Valeria sighed, releasing her hands from his. “I should get dressed.”

“Why?” Azriel teased, his eyes raking over her form, barely covered by the thin and rather short night gown she wore. “I much prefer you like this…or with nothing at all.”

Valeria shot him a look. Her playful glare was overshadowed by the flutter of her heart against her chest. Judging by the smug look on Azriel’s face, she wondered if he could hear it.

Azriel’s shadows rose, the black tendrils undulating like a cat’s arching back, sensing someone’s approach. Lady Yvaine. His eyes locked with Valeria’s curious one. His head inclined toward her door, a silent goodbye shared between them.

Before vanishing into the shadows, he gave a kiss to each of her cheeks, saving her lips for last.

Valeria was left blushing and flustered as her mother entered the room.

Valeria stood on the grand stage, her violin poised delicately in her grasp. The spotlight shined on her like the moon as she drew the bow across the strings. The first notes emerged, flowing seamlessly into the room.

Valeria’s eyes were closed for most of the performance, fearing to look at the audience and choosing to let the music absorb her completely instead. Her every movement was graceful, her passion intertwining with the melody she coaxed from her violin.

As the music surged, a tide of emotions rising and falling, she carried the audience on a mother's journey through joy, sorrow and love, unveiling a world of emotions that transcended words.

When the last note faded, Valeria slowly opened her eyes, her chest rising and falling in rhythm with the lingering emotions. A thunderous applause erupted as her eyes searched the audience. She found her mother, brother, Azriel and Cassian instantly, their wings standing out amongst the crowd. They, along with most of others, had risen to their feet.

Her eyes continued to scan the crowd in vain, searching for any glimpse of her father. But the one person she longed to see, dreamed to see among was the standing ovation was not there.

Her father had not come.

A wave of crushing disappointment washed over her, shattering something deep within so violently that she feared the entire audience could hear it. Her steps faltered backwards, tears welling in her eyes.

With a quick bow to the audience, she rushed behind the curtain and winnowed away, one singular thought echoing in her mind.

Worry washed over Rhysand as he witnessed the profound hurt etched across his sister’s face before she abruptly vanished from the stage. The audience around them were unaware of the shift in her face, attributing it to the emotion from her performance but Rhysand knew better. He knew how much this performance meant to her and with each passing moment, he held onto hope that their father would eventually arrive. He turned to his mother, noting the shared look of concern.

“I need to go to her.”

The words had slipped out of Azriel in a surge of concern that he forgot who was standing next to him.

Rhysand turned to Azriel, his gaze sharpening. There was something in the Shadowsinger’s tone that didn’t settle well with him. Something possessive, almost. Rhysand didn’t know what came over him next but he was stopping the Shadowsinger before he could disappear into his shadows.

“She’s my sister. My responsibility.” Rhysand firmly reiterated. “I’m going to find her.”

Azriel felt a burning sensation in his chest, causing his jaw to tense as he clutched the purple peonies he had picked for Valeria, the pressure making his knuckles turn white.

Cassian, sensing the tense energy between the two, moved himself into both of them.

“We’re just worried too, Rhys.” Cassian said gently, extending both arms towards his brothers. “She’s like a sister to us…Right, Az?”

Azriel remained silent, though he made a conscious effort to relax. He could feel Valeria’s pain and wanted nothing more than to rush and soothe her.

Rhysand noted the silence but his priority was finding his sister so without another word, he winnowed away.

Azriel stilled when he felt Lady Yvaine’s hand at his shoulder. Her gaze was warm and loving as always, despite her concern over her daughter. “Rhys will find her,” she reassured him with an ease that only a loving mother could provide. “Do you and Cassian mind accompanying me back to the Moonstone palace?”

Valeria stood at the doors of her father’s office in the grand Moonstone palace. Her violin and bow were still clutched tightly in her trembling hands. She didn’t bother to knock, forcefully throwing the doors open with her powers.

She had hoped to find him busy, drowning in his work and duties as High Lord. Her hope shattered into an overwhelming torrent of anger when she discovered him engaged in a casual round of chess with Keir.

The words were bursting from her, charged with the weight of her dashed hopes. “Where were you?”

The High Lord remained fixated on the chessboard, seemingly uninterested in her presence, drawing a chuckle from Keir. Their indifference only fueled her burning rage. “Can’t you see? We’re in the middle of something,” her father replied, dismissing her without a glance.

“You said you’d be there–”

“I promised nothing.” His tone cut through her like a blade.

“I practiced so much.”

Tears blurred Valeria’s vision as her hands, singed with pain from the blisters, clutched the violin and bow fiercely. Her voice shook with emotion, the words she wanted to add–"for you”--hovering on the edge of her lips. Fear and anguish held them back.

It was Keir who looked up from their chess game, casting a mocking glance her way. “As expected.”

She glared at Keir but her attention quickly turned back to her father. Though she knew she should leave before things escalated, she was too overwhelmed by her hurt to turn away.

“I spent these past six months trying to meet your high expectations. I listened. I obeyed. I kept my mouth shut. I–I did everything I could to be the perfect daughter. I thought you’d be proud…”

It was then that the High Lord, her father, lifted his gaze, finally acknowledging her presence. His cold violet eyes met hers and with his next words, he shattered the remaining pieces of her heart completely.

“Proud?” His voice was laced with an incredulous tone that mocked her. “Over you doing what is expected of you? Over you learning how to play a mere instrument?”

Both the High Lord and Keir shared a look, chuckling darkly.

“That is no reason to be proud, you child.”

His voice was venomous as he reduced to her nothing and she recoiled back at the sting.

“Daughters,” Keir said, rolling his eyes. “Always so entitled. It’s why sons are preferred.”

“If that is all,” her father said as he returned his attention back to their game of chess. “Then you may leave before you cost me this game.”

Valeria ran to her place of solace within the Moonstone palace–the moon gardens. It was only once she confirmed that she was alone that she released the tears in her eyes, allowing them to run down her heated cheeks.

Her violin and bow were still in her hands and at that moment, she hated them. All the blood, sweat and tears she had poured into her performance… She had been praised and applauded by her audience but she hated how the absence of her father’s presence reduced her hard work into nothing.

But this hurt went beyond her performance.

Valeria had exhausted herself over the past couple of six months to gain her father’s approval. When he had suggested she return to her etiquette classes, she did so with no hesitation. When she noticed he had a keen appetite for strawberries, she had baked the most delicious strawberry tarts for breakfast the following morning. When marriage had been brought up, she even humored the idea, despite her heart already having been claimed by another.

Everything she did was delicately crafted to ensure that she was worthy of being his daughter. Although her father was still not aware of her secret training sessions with the Valkyries, her practice became lacking as she shifted to activities that might please her father instead. The only sliver of happiness she allowed herself was her secret relationship with Azriel.

She was not happy with all these changes, but she did so for the High Lord, her father. She had desperately clung to their shared love for music–hoping that it would be the last piece of the puzzle to appeal to him.

Yet it meant nothing to him. She meant nothing to him.

Valeria threw her bow to the floor and stomped on it with her foot until it was also reduced to nothing. Nothing but broken pieces of wood and string. She felt as if she wasted her time with the instrument. Her violin went next. She raised it with both hands before slamming it down against the floor. It broke into two jagged halves at the impact. She directed her hands toward the pieces, using her powers to destroy it further. She didn’t stop until her violin was completely just as shattered as her heart was.

She didn’t even register the presence of another until she felt hands on her face.

Valeria blinked the tears away, finding a worried Rhysand right in front of her. Her breaths were heavy and jagged as the pieces of wood beneath her feet. Rhysand kept his hands on her face, his eyes searching her face and body in search of any injury.

“Nothing I do is ever good for him.” She sniffled. “It is literally impossible to please him.”

“Val, I’m so sorry.” Rhysand’s voice was soft and full of compassion and when he confirmed that there were no physical injuries, he let out a small exhale and pulled Valeria into his arms.

“I don’t know why I care so much anymore.” She admitted, burying her head into her brother’s chest. “But it hurts, Rhys. I hate and fear him at the same time.”

And then the tears were falling again as she began to sob uncontrollably. Her tears drenched his shirt as his hold on her tightened. He rested his chin on top of her head. “I’m sorry,” he whispered once more, uncertain of the right words to console her.

Rhysand held her until her cries and sobs gradually came to a stop. When he pulled away, he led her to sit with him at the edge of a grand fountain in the heart of the gardens. After a deep exhale, Valeria spoke.

“You can light a candle and he’d be proud of you.”

There was envy in her tone but no trace of anger or resentment directed toward him

“I can light a candle and he’d scold me for my candle being too dim.” She let out a humorless chuckle. “Even though it would be just as bright as yours.”

Rhysand frowned and said nothing, acknowledging her words. He hated the truth of the situation as much as she did. She turned her body to face forward. Her violet eyes were distant as she continued.

“I excel in everything I set my mind to but somehow, it’s never enough. I have to reach out and find my place as the High Lord’s daughter but never forget my place as an Illyrian woman. I have to always be grateful for keeping my wings unclipped but never forget how quickly they can be taken away. I have to be strong but I cannot train. I can never be rude, never be selfish, never show fear.”

Valeria let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding and Rhysand’s heart broke. He knew his sister had been hurting for a while but he failed to realize the depth of her suffering all these years.

“I am always doing something wrong and somehow, it’s always my fault. I’ve been a failure since birth for something I had no control over. I should’ve just not been bor–”

“Oh, my sweet child.” Her mother’s voice interrupted, refusing to let her finish that sentence. She approached her children, kneeling before Valeria and coaxing her gaze to meet hers. “You’ve been nothing but a treasure and joy since birth.”

“I almost killed you.” Valeria spoke in a soft, subdued tone, her eyes reflecting that flicker of guilt she always carried with her. She had caused her mother so much pain at birth–something her father never failed to remind her of. “And the reason you can’t bear him another son.”

Lady Yvaine was shaking her head in protest, frowning slightly. She wiped the tears from Valeria’s face. “I give thanks to the Mother and Cauldron for your existence every day.”

She grasped both Rhysand’s and Valeria’s hands into her own, rubbing soothing circles onto the back of them. Warmth emanated from her brown eyes, filled with deep admiration for the children she had brought into this world. Her wings unfurled behind her, enveloping them in a motherly embrace as a radiant smile graced her face.

“You two are enough for me. You mean everything to me and I love you both so much. Don’t you ever forget that.”

“We never will.” Rhysand finally spoke. “We love you so much.”

Valeria felt a flooding warmth in her heart. Her father may not love her as she yearned for but she was not alone. She had her doting mother and brother. They were enough.

She would no longer live beholden to her father’s expectations. She decided she was going to follow her own path to happiness, where she would live life for herself.

tag list: @justrepostandlove , @kemillyfreitas, @thelov3lybookworm

A/N: sorry this one didn't have much of Az and Val but this is a pivotal point in Val's life. The last couple of imagines are building up to the storyline I have planned. But you got to see a glimpse of possessive Az and a suspicious Rhys lol.

idk if y'all are DPR Ian fans but he just released a song called "violet crazy" and I feel like it's a song that matches Val and Az so well. I added it to the playlist I made here. I listened to Billie Eilish's "what was I made for?" a lot while writing this as this imagine was inspired by the monologue in the Barbie movie.

#azriel x oc #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x reader #azriel imagine #acotar imagine #rhysand's sister #acotar #azriel x rhysand's sister #acosm

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aziraphales-library · 6 months ago

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hello hello hello! how are you lovely mods doing? first of all I want to thank you for this blog, it's given me all the best GO fics I've read!!

I wanted to ask you, are you guys aware of any Cinderella!au fanfic for AziraCrow? Cause I've been thinking about writing one, but I don't want to accidentally make it too similar to an existing one!

Thank you ever so much ❤️

Hi, I'm good thanks! We have some Cinderella aus here, and I've got more now...

Raven by desk_mess (T)

King Gabriel's son, Prince Ezra, is coming of age to take a wife for themself. A servant-girl, Antonia, dreams of escaping the clutches of her cruel step-mother and step-sisters. Little do they know they have someone looking out for them. After all, it's ineffable. (Good Omens Cinderella AU) (Rated Teen for Language and Implications.)

A Midsummer Midnight’s Dream by pilatesandpinot (E)

Aziraphale Fell dreams of becoming an actor and dancer but instead lives in servitude to his wicked stepfather and stepsisters. When a mysterious duke invites all of the eligible bachelors and bachelorettes to the Midsummer Masquerade Ball, he thinks he’s found his escape. His stepfamily shuns him from attending, though that’s not something Aziraphale or his sassy godmother will take laying down. Will Aziraphale find his happily ever after, even if it’s not entirely what he expected? A Cinderella/Fairytale inspired AU

Cinderfall by a_serpent (G)

Azira Fell had a really though childhood - his parents died and he had to live with his terrible stepmother and stepbrothers. Everything changes when one day Az meets intriguing (and deadly handsome) redhead stranger.

Cinderphale by Ezra_Oakenshield (G)

As the title suggests, this is a rewrite of "Cinderella" with the Good Omens characters. After the death of his mother, Aziraphale is at the mercy of his cruel adopted siblings. They reduce him to a lowly servant. The solace he finds is with his animal friends, his bookkeeper friend from town, the mysterious blank book that she gave him, the prospect of the three-night ball at the palace, and a certain handsome red-head with dark glasses.

Cinders Bound by Golden Crown by AJ_Constantine (E)

Good Omens Alpha Beta Omega Cinderella AU From the far end of the ballroom Prince Aziraphale’s eyes locked on Crowley as he raised his hand beseechingly. Crowley couldn’t look away from him if his life depended on it, although he was keenly aware of the increasing number of eyes joining the Prince’s to stare at him standing frozen on the dais. As he realized that he was incapable of not answering the silent call of the bright Alpha below him, a calm washed over him, acting as a soothing balm over the jagged edges of his seething emotions. Just breathe. He inhaled shakily as he began descending the steps to the ballroom floor. Prince Aziraphale mirrored his steps, stepping forward to close the distance between them. The sea of nobles between them parted like waves receding from the shore as they moved closer. When Crowley drew close to the Prince, his hand slowly rose to settle in the Alpha's outstretched one. The Prince looked at Crowley's face searchingly. His voice was quiet yet ringing with intent as he asked, "May I have this dance?"

- Mod D

#good omens #ineffable husbands #cinderella au #fantasy au #mod d

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opencommunion · 7 months ago

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please go to a protest for Land Day tomorrow (March 30th) if you can

AUSTRALIA – Hobart / Nipaluna. 1PM Every Saturday @ Davey St. (Grand Chancellor).

CANADA – Antigonish, NS. 1PM Every Saturday @ Antigonish Town Hall. Antigonish 4 Gaza.

CANADA – Montreal. 2PM Land Day Tatreez Workshop @ Refugee Center. PYM Montreal.

CANADA – Ottawa. 2PM Land Day @ Human Rights Monument.

CANADA – Toronto. 2PM Land Day @ Yonge & Dundas. PYM Toronto.

ENGLAND – Halifax. 1PM Every Saturday @ Wilkos on Southgate.

ENGLAND – Hebden Bridge. 3PM Every Saturday @ Holme Street. 4PM @ St George’s Square. West Yorkshire for Palestine.

ENGLAND – London. 11AM @ 7 Tavistock Square. PYM Britain.

ENGLAND – London. 12PM @ Central London. STW UK.

NETHERLANDS – Amsterdam. 7PM Every Night @ Dam Square.

PORTUGAL – Porto. 10PM Every Night Vigil @ Camara Municipal.

SCOTLAND – Orkney. 1PM Every Saturday @ St Magnus Cathedral Steps. Amnesty Orkney.

AZ – Phoenix. 1MP Land Day @ Civic Space Park. PSL Phoenix AZ.

CA – Los Angeles. 1PM Land Day March @ LA City Hall. PYM LA/OC/IE.

CA – Petaluma. 12:30PM Every Saturday @ Petaluma & E Washington. Occupy Pelatuma.

CA – Ventura. 12:30PM @ 181 E Santa Clara St. ANSWER Coalition.

CO – Fort Collins. 3PM Every Saturday @ Old Town Square. NOCO Liberation Coalition.

DC – Washington DC. 4PM @ DuPont Circle. ANSWER Coalition.

FL – Gainesville. 11AM @ Depot Park. ANSWER Coalition.

FL – Orlando. City Hall. TBA. ANSWER Coalition.

FL – Pensacola. PM @ Main & Reus (Blue Wahoos). PSL CGC.

GA – Atlanta. 2PM @ Consulate of Israel. PYM.

ID – Pocatello. 12PM Every Saturday @ Bannock County Courthouse. Pocatello for Palestine.

IL – Chicago. 1PM @ TBA. USPCN + Chicago SJP.

LA – New Orleans. 3:30PM @ 701 N Rampart St.

MA – Springfield. 2PM @ 36 Court St. ANSWER Coalition.

ME – Portland. 1PM @ Monument Square. PSL Maine.

MI – Detroit. 1:30PM @ Beacon Park. USPCN.

MI – Detroit. 10AM Land Day @ Rouge Park. PYM.

MN – Minneapolis. 2PM @ 2707 West Lake St. ANSWER Coalition.

MT – Kalispell. 12PM Every Saturday @ Main & Center. MT 4 Palestine.

NC – Asheville. 4PM @ 1 N Pack Square. ANSWER Coalition.

NC – Charlotte. 4PM @ Wilmore Centennial Park. CLT 4 Palestine + PSL Carolinas.

NC – Raleigh. 3PM Land Day @ Moore Square. PSL Carolinas.

NC, Charlotte. 4PM @ Wilmore Centennial Park. Land Day. CLT 4 Pali + PSL Carolinas.

NM – Albuquerque. 4PM @ UNM Book Store. ANSWER Coalition.

NY – New York. 12PM @ City Hall Park. Within Our Lifetime.

NY – New York. 12PM Vigil Every Saturday @ 5th & 44th in Brooklyn. Sunset Park Elders.

NY – New York. 5PM @ Times Square. PYM.

NY – Rochester. 1:30PM @ MLK Park. End Apartheid ROC + SJP UR.

OH – Cincinnati. 3PM @ 801 Plum St. ANSWER Coalition.

OH – Cleveland. 2PM Land Day @ Edgewater Upper Pavillion. USCPN.

OH – Columbus. 4PM @ 120 W Goodale St. ANSWER Coalition.

OH – Dayton. 5PM @ 2680 Ridge Ave. ANSWER Coalition.

OH – Wooster. 11AM @ 538 N Market St. ANSWER Coalition.

OR – Bend. 12PM Saturdays @ Peace Corner. Central Oregon 4 Socialism.

OR – Portland. 12PM @ Desert Island Studios. Letters for Palestine PDX.

PA – Philadelphia. 5PM @ 7th & Walnut. ANSWER Coalition.

PA – Pittsburgh. 3:30PM @ 4100 Forbes Ave. ANSWER Coalition.

RI – Providence. 5PM @ Prospect Terr. ANSWER Coalition.

TX – Houston. 1PM @ Waterwall Park. PYM Houston.

TX – San Antonio. 12PM @ 301 E Travis ST. ANSWER Coalition.

VT – Burlington. 1PM @ City Hall. ANSWER Coalition.

WA – Seattle. 2PM Land Day @ Lake Union Park. PYM.

WI – Milwaukee. 1:30PM @ Sijan Park. PSL Milwaukee.

WI – Viroqua. 11AM Vigil Every Saturday @ Main & Decker. Driftless Solidarity / Wolves PSC.

WV – Martinsburg. 12PM Land Day @ Martinsburg Town Square. PSL WV.

DISCLAIMER: I didn't make this list and it's not comprehensive. If you don't see a protest near you, look up what your local orgs are doing, and if you still can't find anything, take autonomous action

#palestine #action

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mcuamerica · 5 months ago

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The Shadowsinger: Twenty-Three

Warnings: Healing wounds, mentions of parental abuse, mentions of death, ACOTAR series spoilers.

Pairings: Azriel x Fem!Reader

Summary: As an official part of the IC, and an Oristian Illyrian warrior, you heal with your mate as you fight battles for your Court.

Disclaimer: I do not own SJM’s characters or plot lines, only the ones I create for the purpose of this story. This is a work of fiction. I do not give permission to repost my work on any other platform or medium. Please be respectful.

Graphics are my own. If you use, please give credit!

Series Masterlist

Your leg and your wing were the two things that still bothered you. With the infection that took root in your calf, it was harder to heal. Meaning that you now limped just a little, and Madja said it may never fully heal. Your wing, as well, was still healing. The top tendon that went about halfway down your wing snapped. Madja did everything she could to piece it back together, but it was too thin. You could fly short distances. But not in the cold and certainly not with any other weight on you. You worked with Madja, Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel to get the strength back up, but nothing was really working. Not yet. You still had faith your wing would get better and you could fly in the Illyrian ranks one day.

You decided with Azriel that you wanted to wait to offer him food, to accept the mating bond. The flash of hurt in his eyes had you scrabbling to explain you wanted everything to be back to normal, to not be at war. You wanted Feyre here.

You didn’t want a large ceremony. But just a small one with your family. And then Az and you would go up to the mountain cabin and spend however long you needed to officially mate.

So you waited. As much as you wanted to accept the bond and mount him almost every minute of the day, you wanted to have a proper future. You didn’t want to be mated in the middle of a war. The prospect of losing him when the bond was accepted… you didn’t dwell on it too long.

So you waited. And fought alongside your family when the time came. The worst of it was the night Azriel returned with Elain, Feyre, and some human girl. Your heart almost shattered at the look of his wings. How badly he was hurt. Was this what it was like for him when you returned from the Blood Rite?

You sat by his bedside, forcing him down and keeping him from going off to spy or fight or whatever he wanted to do. Because he needed to rest and heal.

You stood on the battlefield as Illyrians died, as Nesta saved Cassian. As Amren unleashed herself onto the army and brought victory to you all. You watched by Azriel’s side as Rhys died, and was then brought back to life when Feyre pleaded for his life.

You spent the next Solstice with them all, watching as Feyre’s sister, Nesta, withdrew into herself more and more each day. You became somewhat friendly with her, while Azriel took to helping Elain. Not nearly as close as she was with Amren, though.

You stayed with Mor and Feyre as the boys had their snowball fight, Azriel coming out the victor (again). You were his reward that night.

Once Solstice had ended, you started planning the mating ceremony. Or dinner, as you called it. You planned to make Azriel’s favorite meal with Nuala and Cerridwen.

Azriel and you also started looking for a new place to live. Feyre and Rhys offered to let you stay in the River House once it was built, but you decided you wanted your own space. You didn’t want the House of Wind or the Town Home. You wanted your home. One you could build with Azriel. Neither of you have ever truly had the ability to call a place your home. It was always owned by others.

So you bought a decent sized home on the River, not too far from the River House, and began making it just that. Your home.

After getting a bed, the dining room was the main thing you focused on. You wanted everything to be perfect because this was where Azriel and you would officially accept the bond. You could technically stay in the house for your mating, but the cabin was better cause there was no one to hear you. And if you knew anything from the past year, it would be that Azriel and you would disturb your neighbors. Maybe even Feyre and Rhys down the street.

Your shadows were still gone. And you knew in your gut you wouldn’t get them back. Not unless something terrible happened.

When you came out of the Rite, you were a different female. You were an Oristian, which many of the Illyrian males wanted to reject, but they couldn’t argue with what was final. Above all else, you weren’t alone anymore. You think the moment you chose to defend your brother, almost dying because of it, was the moment your shadows knew you didn’t need them anymore. You had always been fiercely loyal to your chosen families, but never to your blood.

When you exited that cave many many years ago, you were lonely and desperate. You were lost and didn’t know where to turn, so you found comfort in the darkness and the shadows were the ones to be there for you through everything. But you didn’t need them now. You had your family, chosen and blood (though, it’s still just Varyn that you trusted). And you were finally happy with your life. Your family. You didn’t need the shadows for comfort.

You didn’t think the shadows came to Azriel for the same reason they came to you. Yours was in need of survival while his was a triumph in darkness. A way for him to make the best of the terrible situation he was in. Once you completed the Rite, proved to yourself that you could survive without anyone’s help, the shadows had done their job. They had made sure you were safe. And it was now on you alone to protect yourself.

You couldn’t winnow yet, but you tried every day with your Siphon. It never worked. So you relied on your mate and the rest of your family.

You went to group meetings with the priestesses, helping them through their trauma. And sharing your own. You even saw Gywn at a few of them, and you were glad to see her somewhat happy. Healing. Slowly.

And then came the day you were dreading. Before the mating dinner you wanted to go to Valorworth. First to invite Varyn and Wessian to join the dinner, but also to see your blood family. To announce to the new camp Lord that you would be coming once a week to check on the females’ progress in training. You would be visiting each camp and giving them the next month, to get their acts together before you and Cassian would return to fix it. And to quell the murmurs of rebellion.

You took Azriel’s hand, smiling up at him as he winnowed you both to Valorworth. The rest of the Inner Circle was at the River House. This was something you would do with your mate. And if you needed comfort, a drink, or a night out afterwards, they would be there for you.

You watched from the hill just south of the camp. The same smells from Windhaven were present. But it was different. The air was slightly thinner, higher up in the mountains. Though you weren’t scared. You wore your Illyrian tattoos now, going across your chest, shoulders, and mid back. You were an Oristian. One of the top warriors of Illyria. You were to be a commander of the first female unit in centuries.

You wore your Siphon proudly on your right hand, while the pure black dagger hung on your waist. Twin to Azriel’s Truth Teller. And you had two swords across your back. You took up archery, Rhys and Feyre being the ones to teach you. Rhys taught you how to maneuver the Illyrian bow while Feyre taught you proper aim. You were an Oristian. You would not be afraid of your father and elder brothers. Not when you were higher rank than them. Not when you went through so much to come to this moment.

You greeted the camp Lord, the son of the one that you remember. Marc, the male that your father wanted you to marry 150 years ago. His father died in the final battle against Hybern, and he took the title of camp Lord.

He was surprisingly respectful. Maybe it was your new title. But you bet it was your towering male mate that was scowling at every single person that looked at you the wrong way. Az was itching to accept the bond, and his need to protect you grew only more when you approached your father’s cabin and told him you would be back. He didn’t want to leave you alone with him, but he knew that if something went wrong, he would be there in an instant. And he sent a few shadows with you to be his eyes and ears.

“Father.” You said once you crossed the threshold. He survived the battle and so did your brothers. You weren’t sure whether to be relieved or upset. But chose not to dwell on it for too long. Your older brothers, Corin and Caden, were in the small sitting room as well, monitoring your every move. Scanning you over to see the steel on you. And your Siphon.

“(Y/N)… I see you’re still alive.” He said, standing up. “I’ve missed you. Why haven’t you visited?” He asked, a knowing smirk on his lips. You wouldn’t play into his games.

“You will be seeing much more of me now.”

“Is that so?” He asked and smirked. “Come to infiltrate our camp with your females?”

“No, I’ve come to teach the females how to be the warriors they want to be. If they choose.” You said and glanced around.

“Those your shadows? It’s a poor excuse for a Shadowsinger.” He motioned to Azriel’s shadows that swirled around your feet.

“I don’t need my shadows anymore. I’ve relieved them on their duty.” You said and looked down as Az’s shadows stayed close to you in a protecting manner. One swept up and brushed against the back of your neck in comfort. “These are my mate’s.” You said.

Your father scoffed, shaking his head. “I’m surprised the Spymaster would waste his time on you.”

“Unlike you, Rechard, most males like a female who can protect herself.” You said. “This is not why I’m here. I’m here to inform you that if I so much as hear about you helping these so-called rebels, you better believe I won’t hesitate to kill you. Or maybe I’ll let my mate do it for me, he certainly knows how to take his time with males that have hurt females.”

You turned around, walking straight out the door. They didn’t stop you.

A/N: only one more chapter left! (This format might be off, I’m posting from my phone)

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starsreminisce · 8 months ago

Note

“is it bad that I HC that Gwyn and Lucien end up bonding over being two AC exiles for Az and Elain to be like... why are they even friends? Just for them to be like "dude, we're cousins"

what I would give to see this LOL just putting this out in the universe: someone pls write this!!

I had this cooking and finally got it in a place I liked. Putting this out in the universe too if anyone wanted to write this HC! Heavy on Elucien but maybe part two - choose your adventure kind? Maybe?

Hope you enjoy!

Lucien stood in the softly lit room, a tapestry of emotions etched across his features. He furrowed his brow and pursed his lips in deep contemplation, a slight furrow between his brows, his thoughts churning like a tempestuous sea. Across from him, Feyre watched him with a trace of annoyance, her eyes narrowing as they darted between him and the four meticulously wrapped presents he had placed on the ornate table in the center of the room.

Her voice was tinged with a mix of frustration and curiosity as she probed, "So you really aren't going to show up to the Solstice party tonight?"

Lucien, leaning against the table, exhaled a deep sigh and offered a nonchalant shrug, his eyes not quite meeting hers. "I've made other plans," he replied, his voice tinged with an air of mystery.

Feyre's exasperation grew, her gaze fixed on him. "With who? We lent you the townhouse so you could be with Vassa and Jurian. So, they'll be here, and you'll be where?"

Lucien hesitated, choosing his words carefully before he reluctantly responded, "Not here."

"Lucien," Feyre's tone turned more insistent, a mix of concern and frustration lacing her words.

Lucien gritted his teeth, the painful truth lingering unspoken. The prospect of enduring another Solstice haunted him, the weight of pretending that Elain's indifference didn't affect him becoming unbearable. The anticipation of witnessing her distant gaze, as if she wished he were anywhere but there, compounded the pain. Gifting her another token of his affections only to receive silence in return seemed like a masochistic cycle.

His mechanical eye clicked softly as he tried to maintain composure, "You're mad at me over something else."

Feyre's frustration softened into a weary sigh. She stepped closer, her voice laced with genuine concern, "You've been here for a week, Lucien, and we haven't even had dinner together. Do I need to make an appointment for you to have dinner with us over the next week?"

"I am sorry," Lucien admitted, his voice laced with sincerity and a hint of regret. "People heard I'm on vacation and wanted to catch up."

Feyre's frown deepened as she studied him, a mix of sympathy and irritation dancing in her eyes. "I didn't realize you were so popular."

Lucien extended his hands in a gesture of surrender, his palms exposed in a placating manner. "If I don't get too caught up where I am, I promise I'll stop by. Is that fair?"

“You're not spending the night here? But it’s tradition,” Feyre protested, her voice a touch wistful.

Lucien shifted uncomfortably, feeling the weight of his choices press upon him. “It seems rude to come back here when everyone is asleep.”

Feyre considered his words for a moment before reluctantly nodding her head, the tension in the room easing slightly. She understood his reasons, even if she didn't entirely agree with them.

Lucien couldn't help but flash a warm, reassuring grin as he closed the gap between them, embracing Feyre gently. "Happy Birthday Solstice."

Feyre returned his hug, a soft smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Please stop by. It'll make me happy."

—-

Elain returned from shopping, her heart sinking as she caught a whiff of Lucien's signature spiced scent, reminiscent of mulled wine, lingering in the air. She inhaled sharply, her gaze drawn to the four beautifully wrapped presents on the table. She hadn't bought him a gift during her last excursion, and the feeling of dread settled in the pit of her stomach. She knew that Lucien's generosity only deepened the guilt she felt, a silent reminder of a connection she had been avoiding.

Suppressing her unease, she sucked in a steadying breath and returned to the kitchen to focus on finishing her cooking. She silently prayed that the night would go smoothly, and that Lucien wouldn't try to engage her in conversation.

The day wore on, and Elain became absorbed in the meticulous preparation of the Solstice meal. She took pride in her improved kitchen skills but couldn't help feeling a touch weary, knowing that she had to anticipate four more guests than usual. Her mind wandered briefly to the mysterious presents on the table, wondering what they held and why Lucien had left them.

As she let the last dish cool, she decided it was time to change into something more festive, even though her heart wasn't fully in the celebration. She heard the first guests arriving, their laughter and chatter filling the air. Elain made her way to the staircase, her steps hesitant.

Before she could reach the stairs, she came face to face with Azriel, the same spot where he had uttered those words that had pierced her heart.

“Happy Solstice,” she said, forcing a cheerful note into her voice.

“Happy Solstice,” he replied, his voice soft and filled with an emotion she couldn't quite place.

Elain gave a curt nod and began to ascend the stairs when she heard him say, “Elain, wait.”

She turned back to him, her eyebrows raised, waiting for him to say something, to bridge the chasm that had grown between them. He only looked at her, his shoulders slumped, but still, no words came forth.

“Excuse me, I have to get ready,” she said, her tone a mixture of politeness and distance. Azriel nodded in understanding, and with a heavy heart, Elain continued her journey up the stairs, hoping that the night wouldn't bring about more painful conversations.

Elain took her time getting ready, feeling the weight of her avoidance weigh on her as she prepared for the evening. She knew that she was deliberately sidestepping the issue, and as she made her way back down the stairs, she couldn't help but notice the conspicuous absence in the room.

A gnawing unease settled in her stomach as she looked around the dinner table, the first of many singular questions on her mind. Still, her pride held her back from voicing them aloud.

“Where is Lucien?” Nesta asked, her sharp observation marking his absence.

“Not here,” Feyre replied, her tone carrying a hint of mockery as she took a sip of wine.

Elain furrowed her brows as she took a seat, and Nesta pressed on, glancing towards Vassa and Jurian. “So where is he?”

Vassa and Jurian exchanged a glance and then looked up at the ceiling as if it held the answers they sought. “He mentioned where he might be.”

“Summer Court to visit Alis?” Vassa suggested.

Jurian frowned, deep in thought. “That was last week. I think he’s at Dawn Court with Nuan.”

“No,” Vassa shook her head. “Nuan was earlier in the week. Didn’t Eris say he wanted to meet up with him?”

“I thought he met up with Eris right before Hewn City Solstice,” Cassian chimed in.

“Viviane invited him to their Winter Solstice celebration,” Mor finally answered, unraveling the mystery.

Feyre's expression soured. “So he would rather be at some high-class shindig than here with family? No wonder why he didn’t want to tell me.”

Rhys, ever diplomatic, gave a sympathetic smile towards his mate. “Their celebrations are quite fantastic. A little formal but at least he’s not in Day with their drinking, dancing and dallying debauchery.”

Elain's clenched fists revealed the turmoil within her as the reality of Lucien's absence settled in. She had known all along what it meant, though she had refused to admit it to herself.

“Am I too late?” a voice broke the tension, making Nesta and her friend, Emerie, jump up with excitement.

Elain looked up to see a copper-haired female with a stunning pair of teal eyes hesitantly entering the dining room. Gwyn, she recalled the name. Gwyn sheepishly smiled and exchanged a warm hug with Nesta before finding a seat near them. She then cast a glance towards Azriel, who responded with a grateful smile.

However, that smile quickly vanished, replaced by irritation, when Gwyn inquired, “Lucien’s not here?”

“Evidently not,” Nesta snorted. “We aren't high class enough for him these days.”

Gwyn pouted, a hint of disappointment in her expression. “That's too bad. I was hoping to see him.”

Dinner proceeded smoothly, the atmosphere filled with stories and anecdotes about Lucien's year. Elain couldn't help but grow increasingly irritated as she noticed Gwyn's evident fascination with her mate. Vassa and Jurian happily contributed to the conversation, sharing stories about Lucien that painted a picture of him quite different from the one Elain had imagined.

There were tales of Lucien chasing Tamlin in his beast form to coax him into eat, moments when Lucien had to babysit a drunken Graysen, instances where Lucien's sharp wit had managed to persuade the council to agree in record time, and even times when Lucien and Eris had raised their voices, causing the very house to rumble with their power.

Elain attempted to engage in the various conversations swirling around her, but it seemed that everyone else was preoccupied. Azriel, in particular, was focused on catching Gwyn's attention, while Feyre, Rhysand, Cassian, and Nesta appeared eager to escape for some private moments. Mor and Emerie were engaged in playful flirtation, and Jurian and Vassa seemed entranced by their own private world as they discussed their observations of the fae realm with Varian and Amren.

Elain needed something to divert her thoughts from the realization that she missed Lucien. The longing in her heart was something she couldn't quite comprehend, and it left her feeling adrift in a sea of emotions.

The party eventually transitioned to the spacious living room, where the conversations continued to fill the air. Elain's gaze kept drifting toward Azriel, who was engrossed in a deep conversation with Gwyn. Feyre clapped her hands together and excitedly declared that it was time to open presents. Rhysand snapped his fingers, conjuring even more presents to join the ones Lucien had already placed on the table. Elain's excitement grew, wondering how well the presents she had chosen for her family would be received and suddenly eager to see what Lucien had prepared for her.

As the presents were distributed and unwrapped, Elain found herself delighted with a new cookbook, some shiny baking ware, and a set of gardening tools. Her heart warmed as she felt the gentle tickle of her bond with Lucien, the familiar spiced scent of her mate washing over her.

“Lucien!” Gwyn exclaimed, leaving Azriel behind to give Elain’s mate a warm hug. Elain had to summon all her self-control to keep herself from pulling Gwyn away from Lucien.

He looked impeccable, wearing cream-colored pants, high black boots, and a periwinkle jacket adorned with small snowflakes, and a cravat to complete the outfit. Of course, his attire perfectly complemented Elain’s lavender dress.

“You came!” Feyre greeted him with a bright smile, her arms enveloping Lucien warmly as he returned the gesture with a grin that reached his eyes, reflecting the warmth of the hearth.

“Had to,” Lucien replied with a playful wink, his voice carrying a hint of mischief. “A certain someone might melt my mind tomorrow if I didn’t show.”

Rhysand, ever composed, responded coolly, his sapphire eyes glinting with amusement, “I said nothing of the sort.”

Feyre quickly steered the conversation toward the exchange of presents, her voice eager as she anticipated the joy of the moment. Lucien's smile faltered slightly as he settled into his seat, his features becoming more guarded.

He kept his expression neutral as the last few presents were revealed, his gaze shifting between his friends with a mixture of anticipation and apprehension. Feyre shifted around, her brow furrowing in confusion before her gaze landed on Lucien, who simply blinked and then looked at Elain, a silent plea for understanding in her eyes.

The first present was a small box for Cassian, wrapped with care and adorned with a simple bow. As Cassian cautiously opened it, his fingers grazing the delicate paper, he discovered it contained only a calling card. "What's this?" he asked, perplexed, his voice a mixture of curiosity and amusement.

Lucien grinned mischievously, the corners of his lips quirking up in amusement. "The name of my tailor. About time you start dressing the part of a courtier in colors that compliment black," he teased, his tone light but tinged with affection.

Cassian's eyes lit up as he whooped in delight, his laughter filling the room like a warm breeze. He threw Lucien a playful grin and said, “I got you something, pretty boy.”

She felt her heart sink when he uttered, “I think that’s my first present,” the weight of his words hanging heavy in the air like a stormcloud on the horizon.

It sank even further when his face broke into a huge smile upon opening his present. Cassian gifted him a set of Illyrian blades, the metal glinting in the soft glow of the fire. He looked at the set of daggers, marveling at the gems embedded in the steel, his admiration shining in his eyes like the sun in the blue sky.

“I was laughed at, by the way,” Cassian said, his voice tinged with amusement. “But Feyre made sure to point out that you like jewels with your blades,” he added, his grin widening as he recalled the memory.

Elain frowned, her mind racing with thoughts she struggled to articulate. She didn’t know that about him, a realization that left her feeling strangely disconnected from the moment unfolding before her.

The second present was a book for Nesta, wrapped in elegant paper and tied with a delicate ribbon. Nesta's eyes widened in surprise, her lips parting in astonishment. "Is this what I think it is?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper, her fingers trembling as she reached out to touch the spine.

Lucien nodded with a smile, his gaze softening as he watched her reaction with a mixture of anticipation and uncertainty.

Nesta examined the book with a mixture of awe and disbelief, her fingers tracing the embossed letters on the cover. Then, with a sudden burst of enthusiasm, she exclaimed, "But this is rare, and you hate this book. This is my favorite book."

She went on to describe the rarity of the edition, her words tumbling out in a rush of excitement and gratitude. Elain listened intently, her heart aching with a strange mixture of longing and regret.

Nesta turned to him and smiled, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “I got you something too,” she teased, her tone playful yet with affection.

The color drained from Lucien’s face as he accepted the gift, his fingers trembling slightly as he unwrapped it with care. Elain watched as Lucien winced while Nesta thoroughly enjoyed his reaction, a sense of unease settling over her like a shadow.

Lucien groaned and held up the book to Nesta, his expression a mixture of disbelief and resignation. Elain's heart twisted with sympathy as she witnessed the exchange, her emotions swirling like leaves in the autumn wind.

“Really?” He asked, his eyes betraying a mixture of surprise and amusement.

Nesta lifted her chin defiantly, her gaze unwavering as she met his gaze head-on. “You can not not read a gift. It’s my favorite book,” she countered.

“Favorite book? You just said that the one I got you was your favorite,” Lucien pointed out, a hint of confusion coloring his words.

“I can have multiple favorites,” Nesta replied matter-of-factly.

Lucien frowned and started to flip towards the end of the book, his curiosity getting the better of him. Nesta lunged at him, her laughter echoing in the room as she tried to pry the book away from him. Elain tried to remain calm as she watched Nesta straddle him, a sense of unease settling over her like a shroud.

“No one dies,” said Nesta, her voice filled with laughter as she tried to reassure him. “I promise!”

Too close, Elain thought, her heart pounding in her chest like a drumbeat. They were too close, the air thick with tension and unspoken emotions. She glanced towards an agitated Cassian, his expression mirroring her own concerns.

“Can you please get off my mate?” Cassian interjected, his voice laced with amusement yet tinged with concern.

“She’s on top of me!” Lucien protested, his words muffled by Nesta's laughter.

“No one dies in this one, Lucien,” Emerie confirmed, her tone reassuring. Nesta pulled herself away from him, her laughter echoing in the room like a melody.

The third present was a play bow and arrow for Nyx, the wooden toy gleaming in the soft light of the fire. The little boy's face lit up with excitement, his eyes sparkling with delight as he reached out to touch the gift with wonder.

Gwyn’s eyes widened in surprise as Feyre peered into the present, her expression a mixture of curiosity and admiration. Elain chewed on her cheek nervously as Gwyn and Lucien exchanged a knowing look, their unspoken understanding hanging in the air like a veil.

“Autumn Court tradition,” Lucien explained. “When we reach his age, we choose the weapon that becomes our weapon to master. Not surprising that your son picked that.”

The last present was a package of the molten chocolate Alis used to make for Feyre, the sweet aroma filling the room like a comforting embrace. It brought tears to her eyes, her emotions overwhelming her in a tidal wave of nostalgia and gratitude.

Four presents from Lucien. None of them were hers.

“I guess that’s it for presents,” Feyre said, forcing a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, the weight of disappointment hanging heavy in the air like a lingering fog.

The unspoken weight of Lucien's deliberate omission of a gift for Elain lingered heavily, casting an uncomfortable tension that no one seemed willing to address. Elain felt an isolating sense as she sat there, her emotions swirling, sensing the collective gaze upon her. Lucien resumed chatting with Gwyn.

Desperate for reprieve from the scrutiny of her family's concerned gazes, Elain fought to maintain a composed facade, pretending that she was unfazed by the absence of a gift from her mate. With a small, forced smile, she excused herself under the pretense of needing a moment alone.

"I just remembered I left something in the kitchen. I'll be right back," she said softly, her voice barely trembling.

As she left the room and retreated to the kitchen, her heart ached with the weight of the unanswered questions and the awkwardness that had settled between her and Lucien. The sense of rejection and disappointment gnawed at her, but she was determined to keep up the appearance of being fine.

In the kitchen, Elain took a moment to gather herself, her breaths deep and measured as she fought to suppress the tumult of emotions swirling within her. She reminded herself sternly that she hadn't purchased any gifts for Lucien either, though the hope that the presents were meant for her persisted, stubbornly clinging to her thoughts. As her heartbeat slowed and her breathing steadied, she cast a glance at the untouched cake, resolving that it was time to present it to the guests.

Just as she was about to leave the kitchen, she froze upon catching snippets of conversation between Feyre and Lucien in the adjacent room.

"You humiliated her," Feyre's accusation rang out, sharp and cutting.

Lucien's response was swift, his tone tinged with defensiveness, "I would never intend to humiliate her. I merely thought—"

Feyre interrupted, her voice edged with disbelief, "Thought what, Lucien?"

His reply was clipped, filled with frustration, "That perhaps Azriel could offer her the comfort she deserves."

Feyre's confusion was palpable as she questioned, "Why Azriel?"

The tension in Lucien's voice was unmistakable, "Do I really need to spell it out for you, Feyre?"

As the conversation unfolded, Elain's heart raced once more, a surge of anger coursing through her veins. She retreated from the door, her steps quick and purposeful, only to find herself face to face with Feyre upon her entrance.

"What's going on between you and Lucien? And now Azriel?" Feyre's concern was evident in her gaze.

Elain's response was terse, her tone firm, "Nothing. It's nothing."

Feyre's expression softened, but her concern lingered, "Elain, please—"

Elain's patience snapped, her voice laced with frustration, "I said it's nothing."

She turned her back on Feyre, her resolve firm as she focused on finishing the cake. Each movement was deliberate, her hands working with precision as she willed Feyre to understand, hoping her sister would take the hint and leave her be. The tension between them hung thick in the air, an unspoken barrier dividing their shared space. She heard Feyre sigh, a sound heavy with unresolved emotions.

Once Feyre departed, Elain finished the cake with meticulous care, her hands moving with practiced ease despite the turmoil brewing within her. Placing it on a table, she plastered a smile on her face, though the weight of unresolved tensions lingered heavily still. Her gaze wandered across the room, seeking solace in the familiar faces of her companions.

She spotted Lucien, Gwyn, Vassa, and Jurian engrossed in a serious conversation, their expressions grave and their voices hushed. A pang of anxiety gripped her heart as she watched them, sensing the weight of their discussion. And then, her eyes landed on Azriel, standing alone in the corner, his posture rigid and his eyes fixed on Lucien with an intensity that made Elain uneasy.

Feeling a surge of recklessness fueled by anger and frustration, Elain made her way towards Azriel, each step a silent declaration of her determination to confront the palpable tension between them.

Elain's voice carried a hint of defiance as she initiated the conversation, her eyes fixed on Azriel's distant gaze, refusing to be ignored.

"Can we talk?" she pressed, her tone tinged with urgency, a silent plea for understanding.

Azriel's silence was deafening, his demeanor unyielding, but Elain persisted, repeating her question with growing impatience, her gaze sharpening with determination.

"What do you want to talk about?" Azriel's response was measured, his voice betraying a subtle tension beneath the calm facade.

Before Elain could formulate a response, Gwyn's laughter filled the room, momentarily distracting them from their exchange. With Vassa and Jurian engrossed in the allure of cake, Elain and Azriel observed in silence as Gwyn playfully interacted with Lucien, their laughter forming a barrier between them.

Elain's heart twisted with a pang of jealousy as she watched Lucien's easy camaraderie with Gwyn, the contrast to their own strained dynamic stark in her mind. Beside her, she sensed Azriel's clenched fists, his emotions bubbling beneath the surface.

Struggling to break through the tension, Elain blurted out the words that had been weighing on her mind, her voice barely a whisper but heavy with significance.

"You like Gwyn," she murmured, the admission hanging in the air, a silent acknowledgment of the complexities that lay between them, fraught with unspoken desires and unaddressed feelings.

Elain observed the subtle softening of Azriel's features at the mention of Gwyn's name, his gaze drifting back toward the pair engaged in lighthearted banter. Gwyn's laughter rang out like a bell, a melody that seemed to tug at Azriel's heartstrings, while Lucien's grin radiated warmth and charm, drawing her in like a moth to a flame.

"I do," Azriel admitted, his voice tinged with a mixture of resignation and longing. His eyes remained fixed on Gwyn, a silent testament to the depths of his unspoken affection.

Her heart clenched at his confession, the realization dawning upon her with painful clarity. She shifted uncomfortably, fingers nervously toying with the fabric of her skirt, the soft rustle of the fabric a stark contrast to the heavy silence that enveloped them.

"But I thought... I thought that you liked me," she ventured quietly, unable to mask the hurt in her voice.

Azriel's gaze fell to his scarred hands, his expression guarded, revealing a vulnerability that cut through the shadows shrouding his usual demeanor. Elain felt a pang of sorrow as she witnessed his internal struggle, the unspoken acknowledgment that she had never been enough for him.

She sucked in a shaky breath, blinking back the tears threatening to spill. Despite her diminishing affections, the sting of rejection still lingered, a bitter reminder of what could never be.

Forcing a strained smile, she offered a feeble reassurance, "Lucien is mated to me, so I doubt you have to worry about that." The words felt hollow on her tongue, a feeble attempt to mask the ache in her heart.

A soft chuckle escaped Azriel's lips before his attention returned to the scene before them, where Lucien's grin contrasted sharply with Gwyn's horrified expression as she playfully chastised him. The warmth of the fire cast flickering shadows across their faces, lending an air of intimacy to the moment.

"Perhaps it's my punishment," Azriel mused quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. "Lucien puts her at ease." The flames danced in his eyes, reflecting the turmoil of his inner thoughts.

Elain's heart ached at his admission, the realization sinking in that she had been blind to the depth of Lucien's impact on Gwyn. She watched the pair with a mixture of envy and resignation, her own feelings tangled in a web of unspoken desires and unfulfilled longing.

Azriel's voice held a note of self-recrimination as he continued, his words heavy with regret, "I was arrogant enough to think that because you weren't interested in him, he wasn't deserving to be your mate. But look how he makes her laugh and smile." Each word felt like a dagger to Elain's heart, a painful reminder of what she had lost.

"I don’t... I don’t give her that," Azriel confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "A year ago, she didn't like being touched by any male. She could barely handle being alone with another male, and I was surprised she allowed me to stay with her. But next thing I knew, she was talking about Lucien, and how she was helping him, and then they spent so much time alone together." The confession hung heavy in the air, a silent testament to the depth of his longing.

Elain's breath caught in her throat as Azriel's anguish became palpable, his clenched fists betraying the depth of his torment. The soft glow of the fire cast flickering shadows across their faces, lending an air of intimacy to the moment.

"I thought it hurt being the only one among my brothers not mated, but nothing compares to watching someone fall in love and knowing I can't stop it," he confessed, his voice thick with emotion. The words hung in the air, heavy with the weight of unspoken regrets and unfulfilled desires.

"But he's mated to me," Elain reiterated, her words a feeble attempt to anchor herself amidst the storm of conflicting emotions. The flames danced in Azriel's eyes, reflecting the turmoil of his inner thoughts.

"I know," Azriel sighed, his gaze never leaving the pair across the room. "That's what makes it hurts much more." The words lingered between them, a silent acknowledgment of the pain that bound them together.

As they continued to watch, a sense of longing and regret enveloped them both, their unspoken words echoing in the empty spaces between them, a silent testament to the pain of unrequited love and shattered dreams.

---

Lucien felt the weight of Azriel's presence, intertwined with Elain's, tugging at the edges of his consciousness. Though the bond between them pulsed with a muted ache of longing and melancholy, Lucien found it difficult to fully comprehend, given the circumstances. After all, Elain was with Azriel now, having chosen him.

“He’s with her,” Gwyn observed, her tone tinged with a hint of melancholy.

“He doesn't seem that happy,” Lucien remarked, his voice betraying a touch of sympathy.

It was a familiar sight for Lucien, accustomed to witnessing the complexities of their relationship. But for Gwyn, it was a stark realization, one that had taken time for her to come to terms with. She had confided in Lucien about her growing feelings for the shadowsinger, unable to ignore the tension whenever Azriel and Elain were together. Gwyn had attempted to broach the topic with Nesta, only to be met with dismissal, as if Elain's bond with Lucien precluded any possibility of her being with Azriel.

Their conversation drifted back to the library, where Lucien had sought Gwyn's assistance with Vassa's curse. It was there that they had forged an unexpected connection, their shared lineage serving as a bond that transcended their individual struggles. Learning that they were cousins had provided a sense of solace, uniting them as kindred spirits navigating their intertwined destinies.

Lucien had become Gwyn's confidant, offering sage advice and a sympathetic ear as she grappled with her feelings for Azriel. While Nesta and Emerie remained oblivious to the underlying tensions, Lucien understood the turmoil brewing beneath the surface, a silent witness to Gwyn's unspoken desires.

As their friendship blossomed, Lucien found comfort in Gwyn's companionship, grateful for the understanding she offered. Yet, he couldn't shake the sense of irony in their situation - while Gwyn found safehaven in confiding her feelings for Azriel, Lucien found himself drawn deeper into his own unspoken longing for Elain.

“Are you leaving soon?” Gwyn inquired, her voice tinged with a hint of reluctance.

Lucien nodded solemnly. “I am.”

“Can you take me back?” Gwyn's request was accompanied by a note of uncertainty, as if she feared intruding on his time.

“Are you sure? You spent the entire time talking to me,” Lucien remarked, a teasing smile playing at his lips.

“That's because you're family and mated and…” Gwyn's voice trailed off, her words laden with unspoken implications.

Elain's beauty was undeniable, a fact that hung heavy in the air between them. Lucien offered her a gentle smile, his heart heavy with unspoken longing. “Okay. I'll say goodbye to the others, but I think it'll be worth saying goodbye to him too, even with her there.”

----

Elain's heart skipped a beat as Lucien rose from his seat and strode confidently toward Feyre and Rhysand. Gwyn, her presence hesitant, approached Elain and Azriel, her smile radiant yet tinged with uncertainty. Her fingers nervously played with the hem of her cloak as she glanced between Lucien and Azriel, sensing the tension in the air like a palpable force.

Azriel, usually composed, straightened in his chair, his gaze fixed on Gwyn with an intensity that Elain couldn't ignore. His hazel eyes bore into Gwyn's, silently questioning her decision to leave with Lucien.

“I’m leaving,” Gwyn announced, her voice like a delicate melody in the tense air. The words hung in the space between them, laden with unspoken implications.

“With Lucien?” Azriel's tone dripped with bitterness, his eyes darting between Gwyn and Lucien. Elain observed the subtle tension in his jaw, a testament to his internal struggle.

Gwyn affirmed with a subtle nod, her eyes flickering towards Lucien, who had now joined her. The hesitant smile on her lips betrayed her uncertainty, contrasting with the determination in Lucien's expression.

“Ready?” Lucien's voice cut through the awkward tension, his eyes deliberately avoiding Elain's. She noted the slight furrow of his brow, a sign of the turmoil beneath his confident facade.

Elain tried to focus on the conversation, but her attention drifted to the simple piece of string adorning Lucien’s wrist. Its significance eluded her, a stark contrast to the complexities swirling within her own mind.

Her thoughts were interrupted as Lucien suddenly seemed engrossed in the space between Azriel and Gwyn. Elain observed his subtle gestures, sensing a flicker of recognition in his expression. The tension between them was palpable, adding an undercurrent of unease to the situation.

Then, as if a realization had dawned upon him, Lucien spoke with conviction, “I think Azriel should take you home.” His words resonated in the air, breaking the uneasy silence and igniting a spark of hope within Elain.

His gaze shifted to Azriel, who nodded in agreement. “Yes, he should take you home,” Lucien added, his tone final. Elain watched the exchange with bated breath, her heart pounding in her chest.

But Gwyn's response was unexpected. “Nooooo,” she protested sheepishly, “I asked you.”

Elain felt a surge of determination rise within her, spurred by the sudden turn of events. “I can’t... because…” Lucien faltered, searching for words, but Elain found herself finishing his sentence, her voice unwavering.

“Because he forgot that... I am... joining him,” she declared firmly, her gaze locked with Lucien's. The weight of her words hung in the air, a silent plea for understanding.

Lucien's surprise was evident, his brows knitting together in a moment of realization, yet Elain pressed on, her determination unyielding.

“You've been running around the past few days with your vacation, but don’t you remember?” she challenged him, her voice edged with urgency, each word a pointed arrow aimed at his comprehension.

His response was hesitant, his eyes widening in gradual recognition, like two pools slowly catching the first light of dawn. “You knew I was on vacation?” he questioned, his tone heavy with disbelief, the weight of his realization palpable in the air.

Elain met his gaze with an unyielding glare, her eyes flickering with an intensity akin to smoldering embers, silently urging him to grasp the truth that lay before him.

“Yes… that's right…that's what you wanted as your present,” Lucien continued, his voice faltering slightly as he wove through the web of their shared deception, the weight of his words hanging in the charged atmosphere between them.

Gwyn's frown deepened, her brows knitting together in suspicion, as though she could see through the facade with uncanny clarity. But Lucien pressed on, his resolve unyielding, his determination etched into the lines of his face.

“We are going to be late,” Elain pushed, her voice firm and commanding, a note of urgency coloring her words as she tried to steer the conversation back on track, her fingers tapping anxiously against her thigh.

“Az… Azriel… Az … riel … can I trust you to take my cousin home?” Lucien implored, his tone tinged with desperation, his gaze shifting to Azriel with a silent plea for assistance.

Azriel's brow furrowed in confusion, his expression a portrait of perplexity as he processed the sudden revelation. “Cousin?” he repeated, his voice tinged with uncertainty, his mind racing to make sense of the revelation.

His eyes flickered with a glimmer of hope as Lucien turned to Gwyn with a scowl, his frustration simmering beneath the surface. “You never told him we were cousins?” he accused, his tone tinged with exasperation, a note of betrayal seeping into his words.

Gwyn remained impassive, her lips pursed in a tight line as she met Lucien's glare with a steely resolve, her silence speaking volumes in the charged atmosphere. But Lucien pressed on, his frustration mounting with each passing moment.

“Never… Never…” Lucien muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose in a futile attempt to stave off the rising tide of irritation, his patience wearing thin as the tension continued to mount. "You valkyries are going to kill me," he added with a wry twist of irony, a weary sigh escaping his lips.

Azriel's lips twitched in amusement, a ghost of a smile dancing across his features as he observed the unfolding drama with quiet interest. "You should try training them," he remarked dryly, his voice laced with subtle humor, a hint of mischief glinting in his eyes.

Gwyn's smile was tight-lipped, her gaze flickering uncertainly between Lucien and Azriel, silently weighing her options. Sensing her hesitation, Lucien intervened, his tone softened by a note of gratitude.

Lucien, noticing her hesitation, amended, "I owe you one session if you go with him." Elain could see the tension melting away from Gwyn's shoulders, a sense of satisfaction blooming within her like a flower in bloom.

Gwyn's expression shifted to smugness. "Two now." Elain couldn't help but smile at Gwyn's playful banter, the tension dissipating like mist in the morning sun.

"I knew your bracelet came with a price. Fine. Two. It’s settled. I’ll see you not tomorrow.” Lucien's resignation hung heavy in the air, a sense of defeat settling over him like a heavy cloak.

As Lucien turned to leave, Gwyn interjected, her voice cutting through the silence like a knife. “Should you be taking Elain?” she asked, her words hanging in the air like a challenge, a subtle undercurrent of doubt coloring her tone.

Elain and Lucien locked eyes, a silent exchange passing between them. In that moment, a myriad of unspoken emotions danced between them, their gazes lingering a fraction longer than necessary, conveying a depth of understanding that words could not capture.

“Yes, because I said I would,” Lucien stammered, his voice strained with a mixture of apprehension and determination. He held Elain's gaze, his eyes searching hers for any sign of hesitation or doubt.

Heat flushed at Elain’s cheeks, a rush of warmth spreading across her face as she realized the significance of the moment. This would be the first time she would be alone with him, the weight of anticipation heavy in the air, uncertainty mingling with excitement in her chest.

“Yes,” Elain said, her voice steady despite the fluttering of her heart. “And I said we should leave now.” With a firm nod, she affirmed her decision, steeling herself for whatever lay ahead.

Lucien hesitantly offered his arm, a silent invitation hanging between them. Elain reached out, her fingers brushing against his in a fleeting touch, a spark igniting between them as they made contact. She felt all eyes on them, the weight of expectation heavy in the air as they walked out the door together, stepping into the unknown.

“You don’t have to come with me,” Lucien said, his voice strained with a mixture of apprehension and longing, his gaze searching hers for any sign of hesitation.

“They are going to be asking me where you took me, so might as well come along,” Elain replied, her grip tightening on his arm, her fingers tracing the contours of his muscles beneath the fabric of his sleeve.

Lucien sighed, a mixture of resignation and gratitude in his breath, the weight of their impending journey hanging heavy in the air. Despite the uncertainty that lay ahead, a small, genuine smile played at the corners of his lips, a testament to the trust he placed in Elain's judgment. "You're right," he conceded, his voice soft yet tinged with a hint of amusement. "But don't say I didn't warn you."

Elain furrowed her brow, her expression a mix of accusation and curiosity. "You were in Day, were you?" she questioned, her tone laced with a hint of skepticism.

Lucien stilled, his demeanor shifting slightly at the mention of Day. "What do you know about their celebration?" he asked, his curiosity piqued.

"Drinking, dancing, and dallying debauchery," Elain replied matter-of-factly, her words laced with a touch of dry humor.

A faint blush crept onto Lucien's cheeks at her blunt assessment. "I wasn't there," he admitted, his voice tinged with a hint of embarrassment. "I was in Winter."

"So we are going back to Winter?" Elain inquired, her brow furrowing slightly as she processed the information.

"Ah, no. We are going to Day," Lucien clarified, his tone hesitant yet resolute.

Elain's lips formed a thin line, her features masking her inner turmoil as she absorbed Lucien's words. "For that... dallying debauchery?" she questioned, her tone betraying a hint of skepticism, her eyes searching his for any sign of deceit.

Lucien's brow furrowed, a fleeting shadow of defensiveness crossing his countenance. "I am mated to you. I would never dream of being with someone else," he assured her earnestly, his words laden with sincerity. "But yes, that's where we are going."

Elain remained silent, her thoughts swirling tumultuously as she wrestled with the implications of his admission. Lucien couldn't help but notice the subtle shift in her demeanor, a blend of uncertainty and something more enigmatic, a mystery he longed to unravel.

"Interesting that's where your mind went to," he commented, a note of curiosity coloring his voice as he observed her reaction, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Elain's glare intensified, her gaze piercing as they winnowed away to Day Court's celebration, the tension between them simmering beneath the surface, unresolved and fraught with unspoken emotions.

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