#Proactive rambling thoughts

[copingintheghetto]

Google voice typing trial run

I haven't written anything for a while. I am trying to form good habits and be consistent in just about everything in my life because that's a big problem for me. And I don't think my therapist can help me with this as my psychiatrist NP suggested.

Cognitive behavioral therapy is this the name I have and coping in the ghetto is- I don't know what these words mean as of February 28th 2024.

I need to change the word ghetto because I do not live in the ghetto anymore. I know where that is in this medium sized city, which is the capital of the state.

It's a place that is depressing to me because it reminds me of where I was and I worry that things will go badly and I'll lose my little home that I love and be walking the streets looking for anything and everything. I worry about losing my sources of income because I'm not good enough at my job according to my coaches. Even so, I think I'm a good employee that works my ass off. My homework assignment is to ask a coach for a minute of their time and read from a piece of paper that I will have written ahead of time addressing all of the things that I need to communicate. Then we'll be on the same page and a weight will be lifted off my shoulders. I will try to do this today. I have already talked to HR and she was really nice. She said she would be a mediator between me and the coaches and the leads nothing has ever come of that. Sometimes I wonder if they are treating me differently because of what she told them. Because I'm not expected to do as much as the other people. I mean new people are doing what I don't do. I've told them that I can do things if they're written down and I can see. But they don't seem to have time to let me write things down. So the solution will be to find a lesson on their learning platform while I'm clocked in before I start working and take notes. Then go up to them and say, "hey I got this written down here and I can do it now if you want me to."

What angers me is that I have carpal tunnel syndrome now because of my hard work there and my knee is messed up now as well. I'll see you doctor next week.

Then there's the anxiety about having to pay social security back around $5,000 since I went over the SGA amount beginning in November. I thought things that were incorrect, and now I know that I should have called them and asked about working full-time before I did so. It was awful for my mental and physical health by the way. The good thing is I gave them my wage information and now I'm just waiting for a caseworker to call me back.

If I do owe all of my savings, then that is just what will happen. The next step would be to save money again. And that's all there is to that.

The other thing is my psychiatrist NP who is now telling me to taper off of pregabalin and just take gabapentin, which is what I'm taking for my nerve pain in my wrist. I told her Gabapentin does not work for anxiety- that I've tried it. She ignored me and continued with her expert thoughts. I think the pregabalin shows promise. I just haven't figured out the right dose. But I am scared of talking to her about that.

The hand surgeon told me that he doesn't put people on Gabapentin long term. That if the pain gets bad, then surgery is an option. By the way, he gave me a steroid injection and I think it's helped but I'm not sure. He said it could help for months .

Back to NP. ... then the solution- if she's not willing to respect my wishes (my bodily autonomy?)- will be to find a different psychiatrist.

Unfortunately, they're pretty much all the same though. Perhaps 1 in 30 might prove helpful. But there's no law that says you have to stay with your provider. You can always seek another one.

Besides being consistent with things and writing things down before I tap on someone's shoulder to communicate, I have to figure out how to stop this compulsive talking I do all day at home.

A lot of it is just because I'm lonely and have no one to talk to. I crave human connection. Not with just anyone, of course. My own company is better than Bad Company. I wonder what the band Bad Company were thinking when they came up with that name.

I am not making an effort in this department though, so I can change that when I'm ready.

But how do I stop the talking? It wastes hours of my day every day. I apologize to my cat for not playing with her. I feel horrible. So, in order to decrease the chances of my ending up in a scary place with scary people trying to take advantage of me and succeeding, I have got to use my powerful amazing brain to make use of my precious time when I'm not at work.

Okay this should be the end of this Google Voice typing test. I think it works rather well so I'll continue to use it. This would be the beginning of another one.

Taking action. Cognitive behavioral therapy for me and you. No, the following is not something I came up with. Do I have to mention the source? I'll throw caution to the wind. This is from stuff I bought way over 10 years ago. It was expensive for me by the way, lol.

Lesson 1.

Anxiety: Symptoms, Causes, and Common Fears.

1. Notice personality traits that encourage anxiety.

2. Begin to appreciate the positive side of your personality.

3. You can change the way you think.

4. Begin making behavior changes.

5. Begin journaling.

6. Slow down in all ways.

7. Begin an exercise routine and reduce caffeine.

8. Recovery is a gradual process.

9. Use relaxation audio session three times daily.

10. Listen to your inner dialogue. Respectful? Kind?

"Your history does not have to be your future."

To be continued.

[itspileofgoodthings]

one of my favorite things about getting older is that I’m just more sure and more confident in taking control in social situations and making other people feel at ease. I really love it!

[rhaenyra-first-of-her-name]

Is HotD allergic to making all of the women in the show anything but a 'perfect' victim or what?

[manasurge]

bleh

[freakwiththeknifecollection]

I'm literally counting down the days til I bring my puppy home. I know it'll be a lot of work, and part of me is stressed about it, but I'm really looking forward to having something like a full time job. As a disabled person who's unable to work and isn't going to school, I struggle with depression and my self-worth. Also being autistic and ADHD, I really really struggle with setting my own routines. I NEED routine to function because of my autism but due to my ADHD, I can't stick with it without external accountability. So, I have a lot of free time on my hands in comparison to my peers, and it's hard when I'm asked "What's new with you?" or "What have you been up to?" because I don't have anything the average person finds value in to say. My mom (who's also AuDHD) and I always say we need "have to's" in our lives (meaning responsibilities and obligations) to maintain a routine. A puppy is a big "have to" and I really need that in my life. I need a big "have to" to organize my life around so I can get my shit together

[papyblook]

anyways... just voted and moving forward i shall no longer be upset at ppl ranting about how a vote for jill stein is a vote for trump... instead i will be crossing my fingers that the ballots actually get counted in full in my county/state... and i am just making provisions whenever i can for my family and community where possible, and I suggest others do the same?

[goldennika]

manifesting finally getting all my tax-related tasks done by next week 😌

[dawn-sunlight]

Oh my gosh I have literally SO many thoughts about these guys. (And by "these guys" I mean "Janja and his relationships with these guys")

Incoherent rambling below the cut

Considering the fact they'd teamed up a few times before Scar, I think Janja and Mzingo do have some sort of genuine bond or friendship. it would certainly explain why the vultures were so quick to become incredibly loyal to Jasiri. I've seen a lot of people interpret them like Mzingo is a dad to Janja, and when I saw that idea for the first time I liked it so much that I started seeing them that way too.

One of the scenes that lives in my mind rent-free is the one in Divide and Conquer where Reirei seems genuinely worried and angry on Janja's behalf after she figures out they were tricked by Kion and Tamaa and that the whole Lion Guard is after Janja. Despite their bickering, Reirei cares on some level about Janja and I like to think that the sentiment is returned.

I don't think Reirei or Mzingo were told about the backstabbing attempt. I just don't think they'd actually try to kill Janja and his clan, their TEAMMATES, just like that. Maybe I'm putting too much faith in Reirei, but I am completely confident Mzingo did not know. He finds out about the plans for the Guard in Return of the Roar and his first order of business is to inform Janja about it, there's NO WAY he would have been on board with an attempted murder of the hyenas.

I think the friction between Janja and the reptiles is FASCINATING. For starters, there's Ushari. Once Scar was summoned, the two never had a good relationship afterwards. Which makes sense. Janja is resentful of this snake getting to basically be second in command and having Scar's favor. He never agreed to have this former Pridelander snake living in his volcano, but he can't object now because of Scar. And Ushari is a former Pridelander; regardless of anything else he almost certainly still has Pridelander bias against the hyenas. And this applies to the skinks and crocs as well; all of them are former Pridelanders, no wonder they had no qualms about backstabbing Janja like they did.

Side note, I think Ushari and Shupavu are both very interesting. Ushari was treated pretty poorly by the group that supposedly was for the benefit of all Pridelanders who follow the Circle of Life, so of course he got fed up with it. The tragic part is that he became so loyal to the one he thought would help him that he was willing to throw everyone else under the bus, even Shupavu and her skinks(he doesn't care whatsoever when Scar reveals he sent the skinks to deal with the Guard as part of the charade in Battle for the Pridelands), and that someone would have discarded him without a second thought the SECOND he got what he wanted. Shupavu is smart, cunning, and sneaky. If you don't have her favor, you'd better be careful because she WILL rat you out with zero hesitation, because even if she's ON your side, she's not on YOUR side until she decides she is.

And that's the problem with Janja and Shupavu's relationship. Janja treats the skinks with absolutely zero respect, because to him, they're just tiny little lizards that can't actually do anything. And this means Shupavu and her skinks have no qualms about reporting him back to Scar and getting him in trouble.

Finally, there's the crocs. It's interesting how Kiburi seemed pretty happy about getting rid of both the Lion Guard and Janja's clan. Almost like there was underlying tension between the two of them or something. Little things like a croc being the one to knock Janja into the vent, even if it was an accident, and Kiburi forcefully shoving him off in both the Scorpion's Sting and Pridelanders Unite! likely contributed to this tension. (Fun fact: Janja actually has a croc pinned down during the battle in Battle for the Pridelands at one point). Personally, I don't think they ever formed that close of a bond, due to the fact the crocs are former Pridelanders and unlike Ushari and the skinks, they were kicked out. They didn't leave like the other two did.

the frenemies of all time

it was so hard to find pictures of them in the same shots 😭 they're in the same scenes all the time but not the same shots- i think it's actually a purposeful choice by the animators to show they're not actually allied, which i think is cool

[btnclmrttn]

Romantic Relationship HCs with L (SFW)

In the times when writing letters was the norm form of communication, that's how fast everything moves when it comes to a developing relationship with L. It is not a primary goal and he is in zero rush

Proactive, yes, but shy with it. Keeping you at arms length but with an open hand at the same time. You would need to have an incredible amount of patience while he navigates these unfamiliar feelings over the duration of time you know each other

Undeniably appreciative of your companionship, and will express it daily. Out of everything he has you're what makes him feel most lucky. That he is accepted and loved inside and out enough to be committed to

Does want to get married. On paper. A private sort of celebration. Private as in just the two of you. Supposedly the best dressed day of your life, and he's supposed to share? No

Spares no expense for a honeymoon. Longer than a traditional one, as well. Wants to indulge in his new life with you for a while before the cold water of the criminal world has to hit again

When living together, you have separate bedrooms. Not only is it beneficial in general for couples but his schedule is too radical to just share a room with you.

If he's been that busy and misses you, you'll find him in your bed instead of his own if he has the time of day. Which is not very often. Not even to sleep, just to be surrounded by the smell of you in a comfy place.

He's used to having his way, for the most part, with life. He's a spoiled man. So he will get subtly bratty with you at times when he's lacking affection or something related.

Any household expenses are on him. You quite literally have the option to just, not work. If you want to have something to do or your own money, sure, but he reminds you time and again you can just be his partner and pursue more of your hobbies in life instead.

No social media postings of him. It's a safety and privacy thing. Despises it. It's heavily insecure, he will ramble time and again. About digital footprints and all.

+

No photos taken on phones, or that need to be digitalized to print. You can say you're committed, of course, but he's dead set on the anonymity. Might have an underlying worry of someone harmful getting their hands on you entirely just because of his line of work

Also means he's relatively reserved in public. PDA is rare to none. Lines with his privacy preferences.

You'll be learning a lot of games. Would like it if there was a game you could teach him he doesn't know (Midwestern insert: hit him with euchre)

Doesn't discuss you in particular at all when he's working with others, but he gets a bit of an ego boost when he gets to say he is, in fact, a married man. Since no one seems to suspect it. But your name stays out of his mouth, and anything too specific that could make your identity clear

Fidget wedding band. New stim unlocked. Depending on the type of case he takes on, he might take off his ring to prevent any risk to you. It sours him a little, but it's the way his world is

Disagreements are inevitable and he never takes them too personally. Not someone who yells, he also doesn't like conflict with you, so he will apologize rather swiftly to diffuse things before they start

Even if he's having a busy day, or somewhere he can't see you, he keeps it in his head that part of that day is to contact you in some way so you're not out of the loop and neglected. Maybe he'll have flowers sent to you. Or, in your good graces with Watari, he'll send a message through him. Just so distance doesn't feel cold

As for a family, it would be in his mind often. Early on, he would work it out in his head. How many children would he want? If they were adopted or biological, both maybe. He thinks about it more than he admits. Mostly the thought of you being a parental figure interests him, aside from the successor aspect.

The decision likely wouldn't be made till later. Way later. When you're both older, say 40s or even 50s. He's not bothered by the prospect of being an older father, considering Watari's age and who he is to him. He understands the responsibility and being younger doesn't want to have to choose between a family obligation and the dedication he puts into his work

[hazeystar]

love (you), actually

Evan was standing in front of his door with a stack of white poster board in his hands, the first one saying 'Tell them it's carol singers.'

It's two months after the breakup, and Tommy opens the door to the romantic experience he's been waiting for his whole life

because tommy is our resident romcom lover and he deserves his moment! also s/o @bibibievansbuckley because this was born from one of our very late night ramblings because all we know at this point is tevan

wc: 2187, below the break and also on ao3

The knock at the door draws Tommy out of his thoughts. 

He was sitting in his living room, doing the only thing he really felt like doing these days: watching romcoms. Today’s pick was Notting Hill and he didn’t even have enough energy to stop himself from putting himself as Hugh Grant and Evan Buck as Julia Roberts. 

It was weeks since he walked out of that loft for the first time and he didn’t know what to do with himself. He knew it was stupid, in hindsight, the entire night almost reads like a fever dream. They were supposed to be going on a date and Tommy left heartbroken and empty.  

Really, he should have reached out by day two, maybe ask Buck to coffee like he did all those months ago but he couldn’t do it. He asked him to move in and Tommy basically took a sledgehammer to the idea and nuked his own heart in the process.  

Day ten was when he dragged himself back to therapy. At the time, he didn’t know why his gut reaction was to tell Buck no, but now, he realised it was self-preservation. Years of pent-up trauma were cause to this, especially from hearing that ‘my first isn’t going to be my last’ from not one, but two of the boyfriends he had in the years since he’d moved to Harbour. 

And then he threw those words right back into Buck’s face. Evan, the human embodiment of sunshine and a golden retriever, who stumbled over his words but managed to ask him to move into the loft (the fucking loft, which ends up being a 10 minute rant with his therapist because why in the hell would tommy move into a loft when he owns a house, what would they do with the cars, his Muay Thai set up, the garden that’s finally starting to look decent in his backyard-, he found some more underlying issues there as well, but also was told that particular thread was not his fault) and Tommy felt like someone had poured ice water on him. 

He’d seen this path before, only twice but two times is enough to leave a mark. The first time was probably enough as well, but the second time just dug a knife again into a wound that had just barely healed. So he did what he thought was best: act proactively. If he got ahead of the problem, if he got away from Evan before he could fall in love, then maybe it wouldn’t be as disastrous.  

How absolutely wrong he was. 

It felt so bad when he was walking away that he genuinely considered the possibility that it would have hurt less if he and Evan were living together for months and then they broke up. 

He wanted to go back, apologise, tell him he didn’t mean it but- Buck said he admired him. And it was those words that were on replay as he drove himself home. 

He admired him. Tommy, the guy who was so scared about being gay that at age 30, he was engaged to a woman. Tommy, who gave his heart out to the world because he wanted to feel like he was in Love, Actually, that he had someone who wanted him back just as fiercely and was sorely let down every time.  

So he let himself down this time. Better that than be hurt by Evan. Of course, by doing it this way, he hurt himself and Evan, but he could bounce back. He was young, and your first isn’t your last. 

It took two different sessions to beat that idea out of him.  

Sometimes, your first isn’t your last. But sometimes it also is. It just depends on when you find your person. 

Tommy found his person. He just didn’t realise it until he nuked the entire relationship. 

Two months later, he still didn’t reach out, not really sure where to even start. Evan didn’t reach out either, so maybe it was just a case of right person, wrong time. 

That was fine, Tommy could just imagine him in every romcom he watched. 

There was another knock at the door, this one a little more insistent. 

Right, the door. Tommy stood up, running a hand through the mess of curls on his head. Evan had liked them, was always sad when he cut his hair or weighed it down with gel. In the initial weeks of the breakup, he couldn’t find it in himself to get it cut, and then eventually he started to like the curls. Now they were here to stay. 

He opened the door and was not at all ready to see Evan Buckley on the other side. 

Two months had passed, and he still looked gorgeous. He looked tired; there was stubble along his jaw, bags under his eyes that were more prominent than he’d ever seen, even after a rough round of 48s for a week. His hair was curly, like he had the same idea Tommy did about letting it grow out. His eyes were still their clear blue, albeit a little sad but dancing with something else- hope maybe? He was wearing the hoodie he recognised from that first coffee date (so that’s where it went) and was holding poster board- 

What? 

Evan was standing in front of his door with a stack of white poster board in his hands, the first one saying, ‘Tell them it’s carol singers.’ 

Tommy blinked. “Ev- Buck, there’s no one el-” 

He shook the stack hard, giving a pointed look down at the cards before back up at him. There was a speaker set down next to him and the boards in hand... The entire scene felt familiar. 

There was no way- 

Evan wanted him to play along, he’d play along. He looked back over his shoulder, to the TV that still had Julia Roberts on screen. “It’s carol singers.” 

He turned back to Evan, who has fiddling with his phone until music began pouring out of the speaker. Silent Night started playing and Tommy felt tears prick the corner of his eyes. 

He knew this scene by heart. 

Evan dropped the first card, the second one reading ‘I’m sorry.’ 

He opened his mouth to speak, Evan didn’t need to be sorry, Tommy was sorry, but another look from him promptly shut him up. He nodded, Evan smiling back. 

The card dropped. ‘It’s been over 2 months since you walked out of my loft.’ 

‘So I’m saying sorry and I’ll say it again.’ 

‘Sorry for jumping right to moving in without properly talking.’ 

‘And saying to move into the loft (that was stupid, you have a house, we’re at your house).’ He let out a laugh at that, and got another smile out of Evan. 

This was really happening. Holy shit, Evan was standing in front of his house in the middle of August, blaring Silent Night from his speaker and holding up cards to give a whole silent speech. 

It was Love, Actually in real life. For him. Evan was doing this for Tommy.  

Tears were rolling down his face now, and he hastily wiped them away to read the next one. 

‘I’m sorry I didn’t reach out sooner.’ 

‘Or talk things out better.’ 

‘And I know you’re thinking that I’m saying sorry too much, and that you’re also sorry.’ 

He was, he so very was. And the look in Evan’s eyes told him he knew, he saw it. 

‘I know you are, and I forgive you.’ He met his eyes again, mouthing a very watery ‘I forgive you, too.’ 

Evan had tears in his eyes as well, as he smiled back and mouthed ‘I know.’ 

He itched to move closer, to pull him back into his arms, to hold him. But Evan still had a stack in his hands, and Tommy was touched and curious and seen. 

‘I know ‘admire’ wasn’t the right word to say back then.’ He sucked in a breath, remembering the whole speech vividly. 

‘Even though I do admire how you got to where you are now.’ 

‘I don’t admire you, Tommy Kinard.’ 

‘I love you.’ 

Tommy let out a sob then, knees almost buckling as he clutched the doorframe with one hand to stay upright. Evan loves him. 

He moved to take a step forward, but Evan took one back, shaking his head even though he looked like he wanted nothing more than to be closer to Tommy as well. He still had more to say. 

Tommy nodded, letting the tears run freely down his face. Evan loves him. 

The next card was full of writing and Tommy could barely read all of it. It was numbered though, and when Tommy dragged his eyes across it (cleft, Muay Thai, hands, beer knowledge...) the last number went to 50. 

50 things Evan loved about him. 

The card dropped and Tommy almost thought it was a repeat until he saw the last number. 

100. 

His jaw dropped, a broken sob leaving him. 

Evan wrote out a list of 100 things he loves about him. About Tommy.  

He ran because he was scared, that Evan was jumping the gun by asking him to move into the loft, that he didn’t actually love him, that he was just a place holder until he went and found something better. 

But here was Evan, standing here in the middle of August with cards that listed out 100 things he loved about him, reenacting his favourite movie of all time. For him.  

‘I love you, Tommy Kinard.’ A fresh wave of tears flowing from both of them. 

‘And for the love of God, please call me Evan.’ 

“Evan, please can I move now?” He whispered, watching as he dropped the last board and stood there, almost sheepishly. 

Silent Night was still playing on loop, and Evan was standing there in his hoodie, and he’d never looked more perfect in his life. 

He nodded, and that was all Tommy needed before he went rushing forward, wrapping his arms around him tight. 

To his credit, Evan only stumbled back a step, his own arms immediately circling around Tommy’s waist. 

It’d been two months too long. He wanted this every day. He wants this for the rest of his life. 

Tommy didn’t believe in soulmates, not really. He didn’t believe that there was someone out there with the other half of his soul. But then Evan showed up in life on a hurricane and everything afterwards just felt so right, like he was missing something before Evan came in. 

Evan was his person, through and through. He didn’t just love Tommy, he knew him. He knew that he was a romantic at heart, the soft soul he kept hidden away, and came out with the biggest romantic gesture anyone had ever done for him. 

“Thank you,” he whispered into Evan’s curls, feeling his arms tighten to pull him impossibly closer.  

“I love you.” He said it like a promise, a prayer, and Tommy melted. He pulled away just enough to look Evan in the eye. His face was splotchy and red with tears and Tommy had no doubt that he looked the same, if not worse. 

Evan Buckley loved him. 

He pressed their lips together, hard and desperate and passionate. Evan kissed him back like a man starved, and if he had any doubts about how he felt even after the board display, he didn’t have any now. 

They pulled apart to take a breath, and Tommy stared at his face. The one he knew by heart, the one he knew no amount of time would ever make him forget.  

“I love you.” The smile he received was blinding.  

Once it’s out in the open, it’s all he can say. It’s all he wants to say.  

He pulled Evan into the house, casting a look back at the speaker and the large pile of cards still sitting on the walkway up to the door.  

Evan brought him back into a kiss the second the door closed. His hands tangled in his curls, pulling Tommy down just a hair. This one was less desperate, and Evan was guiding him over to the couch.  

He fell back first, Evan settling on top of him. He broke away for only a moment, whispered “I love you” against his lips before diving back in again. 

This is the conversation they should have had two months ago. Tommy’s felt this way since the hospital wedding, hell, maybe even before then.  

And if the way Evan kissed him said anything, then he wasn’t alone in that feeling either.  

He pulled away this time, staring into Evan’s blue eyes as his thumb ghosted over his birthmark. There wasn’t a need for anymore conversation right now, Tommy will make sure to give his own apology later. 

But right now, with Evan as a comforting weight on top of him, a smile on his face as he moved impossibly closer into his touch, there was only one thing that needed to be said. 

“I love you.” 

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

For the totally not official not-blog-event, may I request some happenstance where Dilah and Lilia have to look after the other’s son for some time? (As for whether or not Lilia is disguised, I’ll leave it up to you)

Referencing this post!

I’m going to write some headcanons for this one! ^^

Curiouser and Curiouser...

Most would feel insulted when their dorm leader goes out of their way to find someone to supervise them in their absence—but not Deuce!! He’s stoked to have a wise mentor figure to tutor and guide him. (He needs good role models if he wants to be a good role model himself one day, right?) Deuce just wasn’t expecting Lilia to be picked! (“Everyone else I asked was unavailable,” Riddle sighed. “Now do not burn the roses down while I’m away, is that understood?”)

“Kufufu. You don’t need to be shy or scared around me. I’m just your cute and friendly neighborhood Lilia-chan 🎵” he insists with an angelic smile. Almost immediately, Deuce feels like something… bad… is about to happen. He brushes that feeling off and happily welcomes Lilia to Heartslabyul (albeit a bit too stiffly and formally)—he has to remain polite with his upperclassmen, after all!

He brings a suitcase full of "the essentials". Lilia proceeds to pull out a bunch of weird-looking ingredients and ancient items. He claims they're all necessary for old wives' remedies--in case Deuce needs them!--as well as extra nutrients for his "world class" cooking that Deuce will get to experience later.

Lilia is a senpai and therefore theoretically a good tutor when Deuce needs help with his homework. And he is, for the most part! Problem is, when it comes to history, Lilia has a tendency to ramble and start telling personal stories. He ends up going so off topic that Deuce forgets what the initial question he had was.

Gets all excited to help his ward train for Track and Field Club. Lilia makes his own obstacle course in the Rose Gardens and drills Deuce in it. Deuce thought it would be a regular track at first, but then he notices the spikes, the lava pit, and the venomous snakes littering the field. "What? But this is the most basic of the basic!" Lilia tells him--so Deuce takes a deep breath, steels himself, and charges through.

Lilia wears a frilly "Kiss the Cook" apron as he cooks up some food! Trey nervously watches him and offers to help, but Lilia turns him down at every corner. As Trey leaves the kitchen, he tries signaling to Deuce to not take a bite. Too bad it goes over his head. One bite, and Deuce is knocked out cold. Lilia unfortunately misinterprets this as his food being so good, it took Deuce straight to heaven!

They bond over music! Lilia blares some of his favorite rock and metal songs for Deuce, who really vibes with how wild and free they are! He even shows Deuce some compositions he put together with the Pop/Light Music Club, demonstrating on his electric guitar (yes, he packed that with him). At one point, Cater joins them for a jam sesh but clocks out quickly--he's not sure how much his ears can take the volume. Riddle shouts at them to "turn it down", but it's hard to hear him over the music!

Lilia tries to help out with the chores by enchanting the brooms and mops to move on their own. Deuce asks him to please teach him. He doesn't want Lilia to do all the work--he wants to learn how to pull off such spectacular magic too! Lilia commends him for being so proactive, and, with a chuckle, sets to showing him the ropes.

Wakes Deuce up the next morning up hanging from his ceiling upside down. He screams, waking up Ace and his two other roomies, which delights Lilia to no end. "Rise and shine," he chirps. "My, you're so energetic, even first thing in the morning!"

Silver’s used to taking care of after himself while his father’s away on long journeys of self/discovery all over Twisted Wonderland. If he ever gets lonely, he has his animal friends and the Zigvolts to turn to. So… how did he somehow end up with a classmate’s mother looking after him? “It’s good to broaden your horizons and to meet new people!” Lilia had told him (right before casually peacing out)

“Put’r there, kid!” Dylla seizes Silver’s hand and gives it a good, vigorous shake. Her energy and strength definitely startles him wide awake (he was starting to drift off)! Silver suddenly realizes where Deuce got it from.

She cooks up omurice for Silver. It's Deuce's favorite, so she figures it would be a crowd pleaser for him as well. Dylla even puts in the effort to pipe on a little ketchup heart on the omelet, just how her son likes it~ Silver's surprised by the cuteness and how... non-lethal the omurice is. When he compliments Dylla, she simply laughs and tells him to eat up, cuz growing boys like him need more protein!

Dylla's impressed by Silver's horde of animal friends! She's used to seeing wild rabbits and birds in Clock Town, but never so many tamed woodland creatures. She tries to clumsily greet them, with Silver serving as the mediary and coaxing the birds to hop on her fingers and head. "No way!" Dylla gasps, giggling at the blue jay nipping at her neck. "Quick--take a picture of this, I need to show Deuce!" (Better that Silver take it anyway, Dylla's not that up to speed on the latest tech.)

She rolls up her sleeves and sets to tidying up Diasomnia! Silver suspects Dylla must be used to doing many things on her own, because she refuses help from him even when she's actively struggling. He silently steps in and takes the heavy armchair from her. "Don't push yourself too hard. If we work together, we can get things done sooner. It's... okay to rely on other sometimes--so please rely on me. Mrs. Spade."

Dylla finds him sleeping on a couch in the lounge. Instead of waking him up, she sighs and slips off her jacket and hat, placing them on Silver to keep him warm as he dreams. "... What am I going to do with you?" she says with a soft smile.

Silver's a good listener. Dylla doesn't mean to, but one thing leads to another and suddenly she's sharing all about her experiences as a single mother and what it's been like raising Deuce. He validates her and expresses empathy, saying that his own father must have similar experiences. "I'm thankful to him for working so hard to provide me with this life. I'm sure Deuce must feel the same way about you."

She tells him off when Silver tries to head out for his usual rounds of night patrol. Dylla turns him right back around and orders him to march off to bed! She worries that he'll be off doing something unsavory--or, Sevens forbid--get caught up in danger, all things her own son has been through.

Oh no! Silver slept in and now he's running late for class. Not to worry though. Dylla pulls up on a bike and tells him to hop on, she'll drive him to school. Silver thanks her and climbs aboard... not knowing that he's in for the wildest, roughest ride of his life. Hey, at least he'll be wide awake when he arrives for first period.

[revive-the-fandom]

please please please talk about how Jack looks to North for confirmation and how he left after North turns away during the Easter scene I really wanna hear your thoughts about that

ahhh anon tysm for asking!!!! i will gladly ramble about this, but remember, you asked lol

(also so sorry!! this has been a draft since August :| whoops!)

i feel like it's important to note that the Guardian's don't have a leader - at least not in an official capacity. in battle they individually hold their own and defend each other, but there's no one calling the shots because they're all equal. and when it comes to decisions, they discuss them as a group (and seem to go by majority rather than unanimous decision).

North is often mistaken for the leader, when the fact is that he's not. He's just loud and driven, and often more proactive or impulsive than the others. They tend towards following him because he is the only one who actually suggests anything. He's the Idea Guy. He's also the Guy With The Tools. so they default to his house, not because that's their Home Base, but because North is the only one to invite anyone over.

But North's not the leader because there is no leader.

which makes this scene really interesting to me, because when Bunny dismisses him, Jack doesn't give up then and there,

Jack turns to North for confirmation that he feels the same,

and yes, technically Tooth is also there, and a part of the Guardians, and we've established that North is not the leader because they work as a team in all aspects. but Jack is not looking at Tooth, the camera work/angle shows that explicitly,

the only opinion that Jack deeply cares about is North's.

not Bunny's, who's holiday he (accidentally) ruined, who he just started honestly getting to know and like, whose relationship has the most history and tension and stakes. not even just because Bunny's the symbol of Hope and this scene is about the destruction of it.

nope. North is who Jack looks to.

because North has repeatedly proven himself as someone Jack can trust to have his back socially, emotionally and physically. North has shown that he's willing and able to see through Jack's blase front and that he knows how and when to knock it down and talk through the issue, and when to play along with it.

He knows when to seek Jack out when he by all accounts appears to want to be alone.

North and Jack is perhaps the most vital relationship in the whole movie. North is the biggest reason Jack stays with the Guardians, and Jack is the only reason the Guardians survive the movie. Despite the movie's focus on the Guardians working as a team (including Jack), the movie relies heavily on Jack and North's friendship/father-son relationship to carry the movie.

North and Jack have only known each other for a handful of days, and yet the scene in which Jack and Bunny have a falling out, which is central to their characters and character arcs/themes, has to include Jack and North because it's already such a deep bond.

and it's so clear as to why it is that way! after 300 years of isolation (whether that be near total, or just as someone disconnected from his family and friends in an unfamiliar culture) Jack finally gets someone who goes out of their way to bring him comfort and stability.

like, the others try, and they're lovely to Jack but they're not equipped to do the same thing as North. North has this near-instant and total understanding of what Jack needs to feel comfortable.

I know a lot of people don't like the GoC books, but given his backstory there - an orphan who was raised by Cossaks, who was constantly on guard, constantly moving around, demanding authority, but still retaining a strong moral compass - it makes a lot of sense. He's probably trying to emulate either Ombric (his mentor and father-figure) or Katherine (his little sister-figure), and how they comforted him. He's probably treating Jack how he himself wanted to be treated, though likely tweaked a bit to fit Jack's personality (he's shyer than North for sure).

which is a very long way of saying, I love that North's relationship with Jack is strong and deep enough that Jack, even after being threatened with physical harm

and being outright rejected by Bunny, he still looks to North. Not because North has any authority, not because Jack wants to stay on the team, but because he wants to know he hasn't disappointed North. He wants to know that North believes him, will hear him out, will sit him down and explain that no, actually, it wasn't his fault.

it's only once North turns away, rejects him too, that Jack accepts the rejection.

and his response? He throws away North's doll (which represents a lot of things for Jack, but for the purposes of this argument) because the relationship is broken at this moment. they've lost that trust and understanding, and Jack is acknowledging it, accepting it, and cementing it all at once by leaving.

and North immediately grieves and regrets it

because again, in this moment that's centered around Jack and Bunny, Jack is once again only (or, mostly) thinking about North. It's North's rejection, North's doll, North's trust and compassion that he cares about.

North gave Jack that little piece of himself, that little bit of Wonder that sits in North's core, so that Jack could experience it, lean on it in place of his own core, while he works out what his own is. He gave Jack that reasurrance that he would support him, and Jack throws it away because it didn't work (again, in part because of Jack's own failure to communicate).

there's just something so tragic in that moment to me. more so than the argument between Jack and Bunny, more so than the antartica scene or the memories. Jack and North losing faith in each other is more of an emotional gut punch than anything else.

[nose-rice]

Guys I NEED to rant about my thoughts on Nuru because i love her <3 ramblings ahead

Like I feel like in almost every fic i read, she's just like, a side character that's there to make whitty remarks to Hugo and be the levelheaded one. If she has an insecurity or problem it's usually pretty surface level and solved quickly, or only mentioned once or twice. I think there are SO many aspects of her character that are so cool.

Okay first, I think we sometimes forget that she's a nerd just like the rest of the gang. Yes, on the outside she's definetly the most 'normal' one, but I think we should concider the fact that she's the only girl in the group, and she's literal royalty. She was raised with a completely different set of standards than the other three. I don’t think I've really ever seen anyone cover that. I feel like she would get called "mature for her age" when she's only 15/16, and almost always gets critisism when she talks back with her own ideas (like her concerns about the meteor shows for example). I feel like out on her journey, she would finally get the freedom to just be herself, and be a kid and be able to rant on about her intrests with the rest of the group. It could be a struggle at first, but it would be awesome to see her getting more comfortable with the group the longer they spend together! Nerds encouraging nerdy rants lol

Since she is a kingdom figurehead, you could also argue that she always has a lot on her hands (especially since she's very proactive when it comes to science and solving problems). This could bring up a need to be productive, or always feeling like she needs to make the right decision, even for the littlest things.

I also feel like a lot of the time she's potrayed as the "right" one, who is 100% right when it comes to stuff like arguing with Hugo. Since they're opposites when it comes to class, they often are compared through that lense. I think it's cool just having Nuru tell Hugo off for judging a book by its cover, but I feel like they have a lot more in common than they realize. I think it would be interesting to see Nuru judging a book by its cover too. Maybe not to the degree that Hugo does, but I feel like calling out both their judging would not only call out character flaws, but it also enforces that even though they hate eachother and would never want to be like the other, they have a lot of the same flaws.

Also, being sheltered in a palace her whole life, I think she might think kind of black and white sometimes, and while she knows when people are just being mean as an act, she might struggle when it comes to people like reformed criminals.

Maybe she's able to be meaner to Hugo because she justifies it by telling herself he's criminal, and therefore bad, possibly glossing over the reasons he might be like that (maybe it crosses her mind, but she tells herself it's not a good enough reason, because stealing is still stealing, and he literally steals EVERYTHING. Even little trinkets and stuff he definitely doesn't need!). When they find out about Varian's criminal history, maybe she reexamines her views on morality and how she used to see people, because by her standards, Varian is a 'bad guy' who's caused harm to SO many people, but he's also the kind, caring, helpful friend that she's been traveling with who would never willingly hurt anyone.

Moving on to Amber x Nuru, I honestly never find myself liking the ship because Amber isn't developed enough which is fine. I don't think every character has to be a magnificent work of art. Side characters are side characters, but their romance is usually written like: "wow that girl is cute! I have a crush now!" Which is cool, but then that's about as far as it gets, then timeskip! Or offscreen they're a couple now. I know it's a side couple so it won't have as much devlopment as something like Varigo, but I never really see their dynamic play out in different situations. Like I don't know how to explain it, but it feels like they solely exist to be a couple? Amber sometimes just feels like an extention of Nuru, and their relationship feels surface level a lot of the time.

I feel like too often she's just watered down to the nice, smart, grounded friend, and I don't know I just think there’s so much more to explore with her. She’s not just some side character. She's literally part of the main cast! Even in fanart I feel like she doesn't really get a lot of stuff besides funny art and just like, pictures meant to look pretty. Unlike something you get a lot with characters like Varian or Hugo.

And honestly I get it. Some characters you just don't take an intrest in. I know I find Varian, Hugo, and Nuru more relatable than I find Yong, but I feel like part of that is developing their characters rather than just seeing them on a surface level. Ofc there are exceptions and there are some stories that dive deeper into Nuru's character out there! I just happen to see this A LOT.

Wow i said "surface level" a lot didn't I 😭😭

Anyway thank you for reading my rant i wanna know what you guys think!!

[thedenofravenpuff]

Intelligence in DCA on TSAMS - A thought

Thoughts that been stuck with me for a bit

Through dimensions and story arcs of TSAMS-verse, Moons are typically depicted as the brainy but rash ones, Suns the emotional and empathetic ones. To a degree where Suns often gets put down as dumb and whatnot.

Eclipses are intelligent, taking after Moons, but having bits extra to prove themselves a challenge for Moons to face off. Since they are a bit of a fusion of the two to create a whole, and their intelligence depending on the directions they choose (OG Eclipse obsessed with replacing Moon, chosing cold logic. Solar taking after Sun, showing care yet having handy knowhow in most things he dabbles in).

Then we got Ruin, a "true Eclipse" so to speak. A perfect fusion of the two, not creating an unwanted code but putting their own existing codes together into something new and balanced. Moon's intelligence with Sun's theatrics and social intelligence. Creating a perfect actor for any situation, a sociopath with perfect logic and willingness to lower himself to act a lunatic or a coward for whatever gains he aims for. His intelligence surpassing Moon's, creating a machine able to ERASE the existence of cornerstones to dimensions for a single-minded cause.

Then there's Dark Sun. A Sun who snapped. Tired of being pushed around and belittled, he didn't fuse with his Moon but STOLE his intelligence, cannibalising on it to ad to his own intelligence. But staying a Sun. A Sun choosing cold logic, for the want to be left alone or in control. Seeing patterns differently from how a Moon would with his social intelligence, to pull strings and create a scheme even larger than Ruin ever could imagine. His true goal still unknown.

I find Dark Sun specially interesting for this. The way they keep pushing that Suns are dumb or useless, yet here's one who was proactive for his own cause and wants. Beyond what any Moon or Eclipse could foresee.

There's a huge difference in knowledge and intelligence. In knowing facts and being able to read people. To be able to create solutions and to solving issues yourself.

Those lines often cross, but is also often forgotten, especially on TSAMS.

Just some thoughts, based on how often cold intelligence is used to solve things, or empathetic social intelligence is used to build up things. Suns get a bad rep among those who consider themselves geniuses. Lord Eclipse even bashing on Dark Sun for "leaving it to others to do things for him", as if he ain't manipulating everything behind the scenes without needing a star or to be a fusion of codes.

Thanks for reading my ramble

[marengogo]

Rambling in INFJese - Part 10: Queerful In South Korea

SGMB and RPWP focused playlist

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

🐺 — 🐺 — 🐺—

Gurls, Bois and Enbies … Hellooooooooooo 📢 Yes, I’m finally, officially, back from my travels.

Am I feeling relaxed and refreshed?

NO.

In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m more tired than when I left 😬. You see, there was more excitement than I thought, or even budgeted for, but, lowkey highkey I knew it was going to turn out like that, so, it was what it was and it was unforgettable 😊💜. 

Now, on to the topic of today!

As the title kinda spoils, I would like to bring forth the topic of queerness in present day Korea, touching upon specific sub-subjects within this main-theme, which you will discover as you keep reading.

In order to provide more context and understanding, I’ll have to bring up a bit of Geography, a tad of Politics and a lot of History, and let me make this clear, even though I have been out of politics for quite some time I used to be very invested in world politics … I am presently indeed somewhat annoyed, because there seems to be a lot of misinformation that has been going around with regards to what it might mean to be gay/queer person in South Korea, in the big year of 2024, which is why I’d also like to encourage us to be proactive and do some research, on our own, with the available resources that are out there. I know it sounds heavy, but I promise I’ll try and make it as least cumbersome, and as much relatable to what might concern all Queer people, and JK and JM of course, as possible ✌🏾.

Let’s start with some Geography.

Asia … is a big ass continent. Because it is so big, amongst the people who make these kind of decisions, it was decided that this continent would have to be divided into 5 regions: Central, East, South, Southeast and West. The regions we are going to be concerned with are East and Southeast also known as ASEAN. The East has a total of 8 countries, out of which we are going to focus on 4 being; China, Japan, South Korea and Taiwan, while the Southeast has a total of 11, out of which we are only going to concentrate on 1, being Thailand … aaand that was all for Geography; painless right?

Great. So now it is time for some of History. We are now going to be talking about the history of the BL genre and the Queer art genre within two particular cultures; Eastern and Western.

BL, otherwise known as Boy’s Love, is a genre that was born in Japan in the 1970s. To properly discuss the world of BL it would take way too many blogs, so I’m afraid I won’t delve too deep into it, but in order to proceed with our discourse I need for everyone to at least understand the substantial difference between, for example, a series like The Eight Sense and Heartstopper. The first is a BL and the other is a Queer Coming-of-Age Drama. These two series are the I most point out very positive outcome of a lot of struggle and progress within both the BL and Queer art genre through the years.

The East and BLs - BL was created by women to be consumed by other women in Japan. It had nothing to do with creating content for gay/queer people, and this is very fundamental for everyone to understand. The thing is that it doesn’t matter where in the world you are, if you are or were a girl/woman you know the struggles are real. Different parts of the world deal with this frustration in different ways, and Japan and eventually the other 4 Asian countries I listed above found this to be one of them. The BL genre is basically having two men in a forbidden relationship, driven by mad passion, and who would always choose each other over the rest of the world. Star crossed-lovers where one of them would always be the Seme/Top or male-male and the other the Uke/Bottom or female-male. At the core of it all, BL was intended to be escapism, which eventually turned into fetishism and now can be all the above and something else entirely; evolution aye?

Mainly Asian women perhaps used BL to feel like their opinions and emotions could matter, in an environment where like also many other countries in Africa men are the ones that have the last say, or just any say at all. So they fulfilled their fantasy of being heard, and having power, while at the same time having the “strongest/most ideal” of men fall desperately in love with this male version of themselves. It is obviously much more complex than my two line sentence explanation, but for now, kindly keep this image in your mind.

Moving on!

The West and Queer Art - The queer genre in the West for the longest time was almost always a guaranteed tragedy. Interestingly enough, even though the first movie that mentioned homosexuality was in the 1960, the beginning of Queer culture in movies was, also for the West, in the 1970s. I can’t tell you the amount of books and films I have read and seen in my day says the woman in her thirties LOL and, despite the heart-wrenching looming tragedy, I would still enjoy finding comfort during those few chapters/scenes when the couple/pairing was happy, even though I knew for a fact that either one of them or both would die, or be eternally separated, or some other kind of tragedy.

The funny thing is that I would just accept it, because why not? Is not like my reality showed any different. It wasn’t like I was aware of happy and successful queer people around me, so why would I expect to read or watch anything else? Also I am a nasty ass angsty person so really I have no excuse. 

… are y’all following me thus far?

Now, let’s take a bit of a leap into the 2000s where money-makers finally clocked in on the fact that there is mad-money that can be made with BL in the East and Queerness in the West. In the East we start adopting fanservice within boybands and Asian-Dramas, we start printing thousands of BL mangas, and producing as many animes to match. In the West we keep having the token queer comedian appear on every show as well as making movies of historic queer figures who have impacted the world somehow, so that the queers can feel represented, even though all the actors are for the most part straight, because at this point in time, even though we acknowledge that Queer people exist, coming out is still very meh.

As the 2000s progress and we enter the 2010s thanks to actual progress within some western countries, the interweb and social media it becomes increasingly easier for an Eastern Fujoshi/Fudanshi/Fujin (Bl lover girl/boy/enby) to find themselves in say the UK, which has areas that breathe queerness and queer history and for a Western Queer to find themselves in say Japan where they can easily buy a manga about “queers” in happy relationship or, somewhere in South Korea, can easily see two very attractive boys/girls from a random kpop band openly kiss.

And then, in the midst of this “cultural” exchange, and awakening, something happens.

The Eastern Fujoshi/Fudanshi/Fujin realise that there are actual real queer people in the world sounds stupid, but believe me, it is not. That queer people are not just characters in a book, or anime, and that in fact there really are people in the world who are for example of the same sex and truly wanna be together and, if gay, for example, can also be both very masculine and still want to be together. At the same time the Western Queer realise that they actually can be happy, and that they deserves a happy ending, because some of this BLs aren’t half as bad and they sometimes make valid points and then you find out that actual queer people are now also writing BLs so things start to make some sense. 

As I mentioned, society was also changing, Queer people in the West started gaining a few rights, such as being able to get married in America and some European countries, and as a consequence, in the following decade, we now have series and movies that have Queer protagonist, with happy endings to boot! In the East, things are either not moving at all or moving a bit differently, or kinda slowly, but still it is movement. Within the countries that are moving differently, talking about Queerness is still heavy but has finally become something that they “don’t mind” just talking about and the gay neighbour is actually seen as the gay neighbour, whether they will talk to them is debatable, but at least they are recognised as such and not absurdly explained away or their existence ignored.

Now back to geography. The reason why I mentioned those 5 countries (China, Japan, South Korea, Taiwan and Thailand) is because at some point in the 2010s they were the main producers, and consumers, of BL within the Asian continent, and yes, while still being hella homophobic and, but let’s be real for a second, queer people have been around since the beginning of time, so even though BL was made and intended for women, our Queer Eastern Siblings would find a way to secretly also consume BL, being the closest thing to reading about a queer relationship, so added to the westerner consumption as well, it is no surprise that these 5 countries suddenly had a boom, despite having been being homophobic. 

Hence, it can be said that these 5 countries were on the same wavelength in the early 2010s, but what about now? With the considerable change in behaviour and thought with regards to Queer people in these countries in the early 2020s where do these 5 countries stand with regards to their Queer people and politics? Well, China has now banned BLs entirely, and I will not delve into their further lack of queer rights. Taiwan and Thailand have legalised Queer marriage. Then there is Japan which is making progress towards trying to legalise Queer marriage with to my greatest joy a successful ruling that happened this year in March related to same-sex unions … so, what about South Korea?

Well … SK is so close 🥹 … Yet so far 😫

It’s like they are taking 4 steps forward and 3 steps backwards, constantly. They are well far from China-levels which is a fucking relief I tell you! but they are dragging their feet to be at Japan-levels (and Japan is very close to Thailand and Taiwan Queer status currently). Yet, it is not as negative as it seems, or as some people try to portray it. You look around social media and they depict SK as if it were China. SK is currently facing a situation where it notices that things are changing and change is scary y’all. Resistance is the usual reaction to change, and the older generations, mainly those led by the Christian groups are not really where is at. SK’s youth and older liberal generations hold the answer to the Queer Korea questions.

So what exactly makes SK look hopeful? Well, time to get back to some History again 😘

The first Queer organisation in SK was formed in 1993 by 3 gay men and 3 lesbian women. The following year the 6 separated into 2 groups and formed the first gay organisation and the first lesbian one respectively. In 1997 we have the first demonstration for gay and lesbian rights, which then lead into 2000, the year of the first Pride Parade, which is one of the events of the very first Seol Queer Culture Festival Daegu Queer Culture Festival will be created in 2009, do keep this in mind … but another major event happened in the year 2000.

Y’all know that saying X walked so that Y could run? Well Hong Seok Cheon was basically forced to walk so that Queer Korean could learn how to properly train to run.

Though Seok-cheon is presently back to being somewhat popular again, his coming out was pretty traumatic. His career as comedian/actor started in 1994 and he was quite popular which landed him a good number of acting roles, and a lot of placements in comedy shows, as well as a kids show. In 2000 he was asked about his sexuality and he had no qualms in replying that he was gay. The show editors decided to cut out that part but a journalist gotta love them 🙃 got a hold of the footage and forced him to “elaborate”. Upon confirming, Seok-cheon lost all his jobs and was shunned verbally abused, discrimination and the lot, oh yes … by his own country. 

Not surprisingly, given that nobody in his own country wanted to interact with him, he at first thought of moving to the US to start afresh, but then decided against it. Seok-cheon decided to stay and prove to everyone in his country that he could make it and be successful again. And that he did. In 2002 he opened the first of what now is a high end chain of 9 restaurants in Itaewon. 2004 he joined the Democratic Labor Party and was selected by Time magazine as the Asian Hero of that year and in the following years Seok-cheon will keep racking up achievements  🎶🎵Did you see my bag? Did you see my bag? 🎶🎵 Namean?! (I’m not gonna list them all but you should definitely look him up and learn a bit about him, if you are interested).

But how does that connect to today? In 2008 he started his own talk show Coming Out and though there was a bit of resistance at the beginning as expected, the youth came in force and he started gaining audiences and boom! He was back on TV and slowly he’d get also a few cameos on prominent media, such as the Netflix drama Itaewon Class. Now let’s leave the lime-light for a second and let's look at the military 😬. It is vitally important that people understand that being gay is not illegal in any of the 5 countries we’ve been talking about yes, even China, but the public opinion and beliefs of each country greatly influence how their queer communities are thought of and treated.

Now, SK Military has become pretty infamous within the queer community for conducting witch-hunts in order to find out and humiliate gay soldiers, so much so that organisations such as Amnesty eventually had to step in. That being said, let's be real real real for a second. Though it is appalling what they have done to the queer soldiers, the SK military was also very famous for hazing, assaulting, causing cadets regardless of sexuality to want to unalive themselves and what more. All of the aforementioned, which put SK’s military on the map in a not so positive light globally, added to the increase in suicides, made the government address the situation, and they eventually came up with solutions such as the buddy system, which was first implemented in 2003. But, back to the gays. The most popular witch-hunt happened in 2017 where two soldiers amongst others were outed, but these particular two were found guilty of having sex off-base, during off hours.

In 2022 this conviction was overturned, the soldiers were no longer guilty and it is now no longer illegal, for queer soldiers, to have sex off-base during off-hours. You know what else happened in 2022? SK aired their first Queer reality shows, one being To Me(a)rry Queer and and the other being His Man. In 2023, His Man 2 will give us our first successful real-life queer couple, who are our beloved couple Junseong and Seongho (together known as Junseongho). They are the first queer couple to ever appear on Dazed magazine and we are all familiar with Dazed, it is not the front page like our boys get, but we all know how big of a deal this is, right?

You know what else happened in 2023? Remember that Daegu Queer Culture Festival I was talking about? The Mayor of Daegu (big Christian sympathiser) tried to stop this festival which includes the Parade and many other events, even though the Court ruled it was okay for the Festival to be carried out. The Mayor gathered other supporters and pulled up to the group, but the Daegu Police protected the Festival and removed the mayor and his “friends” from the premises. This was big and made news worldwide. 

In fact, Daegu’s Queer Culture Festival is the second largest one in the country, after Seoul’s. This is mainly possible because the Local Authorities (such as the police) are quite independent in belief from their present Mayor and the Christian factions. In contrast, for example, Busan’s Queer Culture Festival had a two year run but was then cancelled in 2019. Unfortunately, in Busan, The Mayor, the Local Authorities and the Christian factions are buddy-buddies making it much harder to get protection and permissions, aaaaaand things like that, kids, is why it is super important to vote for your local administration as well.

Even though these are all very important stepping stones, SK is nowhere close to being the UK, obviously. The LGBTQ community still has to get all their core rights being legalised, and queer people can still be subject to random ass attacks, such as the singer Holland had in 2022, which, by the way, also still occasionally does happen in the UK and everywhere else in the Queer World. Which is a general minority reality I’m afraid.

Furthermore, it is still illegal to have sex on base, which the country maintains that they are upholding because they are trying to prevent possible sexual assaults not too mad about this tbh, which is a valid concern, but most importantly they now know that the world is watching and why is that important? Because, for example, even though they are now separated, one of the boys from the Me(a)rry Queer couples enlisted around the same time with JK & JM and from his posts and photo-booth pictures that other soldiers posted of him, he seems to be making friends and to be comfy as comfy as you can get while serving, kinda like Joonie and most likely JM & JK

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Not quite the attitude of someone fearing a witch-hunt, right? But then again, there isn’t much to hunt when you are already out, it is afterall illegal to hunt people and the world is now aware; is there? …

Now back to the general people of SK. According to a survey conducted in 2023 last year, 56% of South Koreans still oppose same-sex marriage (in comparison with only 26% of Japanese). 56% is not bad but then 72% don’t want queer people in their neighbourhoods and  workplace, though 81% think that it is not right to terminate people because of their sexual orientation 4 steps ➡️3 steps ⬅️… … … Basically it’s okay to be queer here as in SK, but not here-here, perhaps over there like a queer only neighbourhood or something which at the moment is the Itaewon district. 

So yes, 2024 Queer SK is still struggling though they are not going to be overtly nasty about it, because the world is watching. I mean, don’t get me wrong, progress is progress and we love to see that, it is actually amazing, but there still needs to be a general environment where LGBTQ rights in SK need to be recognised and for queer Koreans to not be discriminated against in their social/work/family life. It is also great that Queer media is trying to transition more and more from only BL to actual Queer Drama, for example I am really looking forward to watching Love In The Big City which btw also stars Kim Go Eun.

There is still work to be done, but I think Jung Cueri, a lesbian woman who helps with the Seoul Queer Culture Festival, says it best (here is the full article https://www.dw.com/en/why-are-south-koreans-less-welcoming-of-lgbtq-neighbors/a-68698268 ):

“I think the attitudes of younger generations of Koreans are getting better," she said, pointing out that young LGBTQ+ individuals "tend to come out sooner to their families, in their workplaces and schools than my generation because they are more aware of their sexuality through social media and exposure to various discussions that are more tolerant of LGBTQ+ people." And the cultural festival can help to be a catalyst to change further, she believes. "It will get better," she said. "And that is why the organizers and everyone else involved in the festival are working so hard; they know that Korean society will get better, and they want to contribute to that.

From where I stand it seems Hopeful, Queerful, if you may.

So, Fighting!, Queer South Korea!

Always respectfully yours,

Marengo. 

[isanesshilarity]

Spoilers for Medalist 59+60, just a post-chapter rambling, DO NOT READ IF YOU'RE AVOIDING SPOILERS FOR THE NEWEST CHAPTERS.

To be honest, when I saw the chapter preview for 59 I thought it was gonna be like, a smooth skate for Inori and she leaves early to see Iruka... I THOUGHT the panels were Inori exiting the hospital and Hikaru all anxious looking because of the results of their skate.

What instead happens is more heartwrenching than I ever could've imagined. BUT BY GOD THE YURI. THE RIVALRY. ITS SO REAL. IT REALLY IS THAT SERIOUS TO THEM BOTH.

THE COMPOSITION, THE LIGHT, THE WORLD THAT ONLY EXISTS TO THE TWO OF THEM.

Chapter 50 just leaves me speechless. This far we've seen Hikaru try to cope with heavy changes to her life: a change in clubs and complete upheaval in social heirarchy, no longer staying with her family, and even a recent injury. In her attempts to find normalcy, she's using black and white thinking: if I don't win gold, I promised I'd quit and Yodaka Jun would stop coaching me. Yodaka Jun believes in sacrifices, so I will give everything up to see what he meant by those words.

For Inori to mean something to me, for her to enchant me, she must be a similar lifeform to Yodaka Jun.

While I can say this whole arc makes Hikaru one of my favourite female characters ever written of all time, this arc is meant to illustrate one simple point: that Hikaru wouldn't be the skater she is without Inori. To the point that Hikaru, whose motivation to skate was to "see (the world) that Yodaka Jun sees", has finally decided:

"Today, I am breaking out of the cage."

I don't think there could've been a more meaningful chapter 50 to start the new year with. Medalist is so chock full of story that it's almost hard for me to believe there's not even a hundred chapters already, but it's definitely because sensei gets done in two chapters what would've taken an SJ cunt 10.

I've seen it pointed out that at the moment, Inori is surrounded by people who love and support her, while Hikaru has nobody. It was meant as a joke, but it's really one of the main themes of this arc: Hikaru and Yodaka Jun, sacrificing family, comfort, personhood to earn gold. Tsukasa, who doesn't believe that Inori has to sacrifice her life to win gold, and Inori, who asked: am I too pampered? Isn't this cheating? For Iruka to reassure her that it's perfectly fine for her to be the way she is, that she was also a skater who bloomed after she was loved, only for Iruka to get injured and Inori to perform probably the worst she's ever done it. Now it's Hikaru's turn to pluck the fruits of her labor: can the new her continue to captivate Inori?

Very intense, and I'm very excited for Hikaru to be proactive for her own sake: to prove her existence to Inori, and continue to bewitch the only other girl in her world. While it's been so funny to see other skaters mitigate their interactions (because they misunderstand Inori and Hikaru and think they'll, what, start a catfight? LOL) it makes it all the more endearing and refreshing when they get to do what they've always done: be completely head over heels and psycho about each other. Ahh, I'm so excited for the future chapters. 10000/10, Hikaru is so smitten with Inori it's soooooo cute.