#Proactive rambling thoughts

[copingintheghetto]

Google voice typing trial run

I haven't written anything for a while. I am trying to form good habits and be consistent in just about everything in my life because that's a big problem for me. And I don't think my therapist can help me with this as my psychiatrist NP suggested.

Cognitive behavioral therapy is this the name I have and coping in the ghetto is- I don't know what these words mean as of February 28th 2024.

I need to change the word ghetto because I do not live in the ghetto anymore. I know where that is in this medium sized city, which is the capital of the state.

It's a place that is depressing to me because it reminds me of where I was and I worry that things will go badly and I'll lose my little home that I love and be walking the streets looking for anything and everything. I worry about losing my sources of income because I'm not good enough at my job according to my coaches. Even so, I think I'm a good employee that works my ass off. My homework assignment is to ask a coach for a minute of their time and read from a piece of paper that I will have written ahead of time addressing all of the things that I need to communicate. Then we'll be on the same page and a weight will be lifted off my shoulders. I will try to do this today. I have already talked to HR and she was really nice. She said she would be a mediator between me and the coaches and the leads nothing has ever come of that. Sometimes I wonder if they are treating me differently because of what she told them. Because I'm not expected to do as much as the other people. I mean new people are doing what I don't do. I've told them that I can do things if they're written down and I can see. But they don't seem to have time to let me write things down. So the solution will be to find a lesson on their learning platform while I'm clocked in before I start working and take notes. Then go up to them and say, "hey I got this written down here and I can do it now if you want me to."

What angers me is that I have carpal tunnel syndrome now because of my hard work there and my knee is messed up now as well. I'll see you doctor next week.

Then there's the anxiety about having to pay social security back around $5,000 since I went over the SGA amount beginning in November. I thought things that were incorrect, and now I know that I should have called them and asked about working full-time before I did so. It was awful for my mental and physical health by the way. The good thing is I gave them my wage information and now I'm just waiting for a caseworker to call me back.

If I do owe all of my savings, then that is just what will happen. The next step would be to save money again. And that's all there is to that.

The other thing is my psychiatrist NP who is now telling me to taper off of pregabalin and just take gabapentin, which is what I'm taking for my nerve pain in my wrist. I told her Gabapentin does not work for anxiety- that I've tried it. She ignored me and continued with her expert thoughts. I think the pregabalin shows promise. I just haven't figured out the right dose. But I am scared of talking to her about that.

The hand surgeon told me that he doesn't put people on Gabapentin long term. That if the pain gets bad, then surgery is an option. By the way, he gave me a steroid injection and I think it's helped but I'm not sure. He said it could help for months .

Back to NP. ... then the solution- if she's not willing to respect my wishes (my bodily autonomy?)- will be to find a different psychiatrist.

Unfortunately, they're pretty much all the same though. Perhaps 1 in 30 might prove helpful. But there's no law that says you have to stay with your provider. You can always seek another one.

Besides being consistent with things and writing things down before I tap on someone's shoulder to communicate, I have to figure out how to stop this compulsive talking I do all day at home.

A lot of it is just because I'm lonely and have no one to talk to. I crave human connection. Not with just anyone, of course. My own company is better than Bad Company. I wonder what the band Bad Company were thinking when they came up with that name.

I am not making an effort in this department though, so I can change that when I'm ready.

But how do I stop the talking? It wastes hours of my day every day. I apologize to my cat for not playing with her. I feel horrible. So, in order to decrease the chances of my ending up in a scary place with scary people trying to take advantage of me and succeeding, I have got to use my powerful amazing brain to make use of my precious time when I'm not at work.

Okay this should be the end of this Google Voice typing test. I think it works rather well so I'll continue to use it. This would be the beginning of another one.

Taking action. Cognitive behavioral therapy for me and you. No, the following is not something I came up with. Do I have to mention the source? I'll throw caution to the wind. This is from stuff I bought way over 10 years ago. It was expensive for me by the way, lol.

Lesson 1.

Anxiety: Symptoms, Causes, and Common Fears.

1. Notice personality traits that encourage anxiety.

2. Begin to appreciate the positive side of your personality.

3. You can change the way you think.

4. Begin making behavior changes.

5. Begin journaling.

6. Slow down in all ways.

7. Begin an exercise routine and reduce caffeine.

8. Recovery is a gradual process.

9. Use relaxation audio session three times daily.

10. Listen to your inner dialogue. Respectful? Kind?

"Your history does not have to be your future."

To be continued.

[rhaenyra-first-of-her-name]

Is HotD allergic to making all of the women in the show anything but a 'perfect' victim or what?

[manasurge]

bleh

[freakwiththeknifecollection]

I'm literally counting down the days til I bring my puppy home. I know it'll be a lot of work, and part of me is stressed about it, but I'm really looking forward to having something like a full time job. As a disabled person who's unable to work and isn't going to school, I struggle with depression and my self-worth. Also being autistic and ADHD, I really really struggle with setting my own routines. I NEED routine to function because of my autism but due to my ADHD, I can't stick with it without external accountability. So, I have a lot of free time on my hands in comparison to my peers, and it's hard when I'm asked "What's new with you?" or "What have you been up to?" because I don't have anything the average person finds value in to say. My mom (who's also AuDHD) and I always say we need "have to's" in our lives (meaning responsibilities and obligations) to maintain a routine. A puppy is a big "have to" and I really need that in my life. I need a big "have to" to organize my life around so I can get my shit together

[papyblook]

anyways... just voted and moving forward i shall no longer be upset at ppl ranting about how a vote for jill stein is a vote for trump... instead i will be crossing my fingers that the ballots actually get counted in full in my county/state... and i am just making provisions whenever i can for my family and community where possible, and I suggest others do the same?

[goldennika]

manifesting finally getting all my tax-related tasks done by next week 😌

[btnclmrttn]

Romantic Relationship HCs with L (SFW)

In the times when writing letters was the norm form of communication, that's how fast everything moves when it comes to a developing relationship with L. It is not a primary goal and he is in zero rush

Proactive, yes, but shy with it. Keeping you at arms length but with an open hand at the same time. You would need to have an incredible amount of patience while he navigates these unfamiliar feelings over the duration of time you know each other

Undeniably appreciative of your companionship, and will express it daily. Out of everything he has you're what makes him feel most lucky. That he is accepted and loved inside and out enough to be committed to

Does want to get married. On paper. A private sort of celebration. Private as in just the two of you. Supposedly the best dressed day of your life, and he's supposed to share? No

Spares no expense for a honeymoon. Longer than a traditional one, as well. Wants to indulge in his new life with you for a while before the cold water of the criminal world has to hit again

When living together, you have separate bedrooms. Not only is it beneficial in general for couples but his schedule is too radical to just share a room with you.

If he's been that busy and misses you, you'll find him in your bed instead of his own if he has the time of day. Which is not very often. Not even to sleep, just to be surrounded by the smell of you in a comfy place.

He's used to having his way, for the most part, with life. He's a spoiled man. So he will get subtly bratty with you at times when he's lacking affection or something related.

Any household expenses are on him. You quite literally have the option to just, not work. If you want to have something to do or your own money, sure, but he reminds you time and again you can just be his partner and pursue more of your hobbies in life instead.

No social media postings of him. It's a safety and privacy thing. Despises it. It's heavily insecure, he will ramble time and again. About digital footprints and all.

+

No photos taken on phones, or that need to be digitalized to print. You can say you're committed, of course, but he's dead set on the anonymity. Might have an underlying worry of someone harmful getting their hands on you entirely just because of his line of work

Also means he's relatively reserved in public. PDA is rare to none. Lines with his privacy preferences.

You'll be learning a lot of games. Would like it if there was a game you could teach him he doesn't know (Midwestern insert: hit him with euchre)

Doesn't discuss you in particular at all when he's working with others, but he gets a bit of an ego boost when he gets to say he is, in fact, a married man. Since no one seems to suspect it. But your name stays out of his mouth, and anything too specific that could make your identity clear

Fidget wedding band. New stim unlocked. Depending on the type of case he takes on, he might take off his ring to prevent any risk to you. It sours him a little, but it's the way his world is

Disagreements are inevitable and he never takes them too personally. Not someone who yells, he also doesn't like conflict with you, so he will apologize rather swiftly to diffuse things before they start

Even if he's having a busy day, or somewhere he can't see you, he keeps it in his head that part of that day is to contact you in some way so you're not out of the loop and neglected. Maybe he'll have flowers sent to you. Or, in your good graces with Watari, he'll send a message through him. Just so distance doesn't feel cold

As for a family, it would be in his mind often. Early on, he would work it out in his head. How many children would he want? If they were adopted or biological, both maybe. He thinks about it more than he admits. Mostly the thought of you being a parental figure interests him, aside from the successor aspect.

The decision likely wouldn't be made till later. Way later. When you're both older, say 40s or even 50s. He's not bothered by the prospect of being an older father, considering Watari's age and who he is to him. He understands the responsibility and being younger doesn't want to have to choose between a family obligation and the dedication he puts into his work

[nose-rice]

Guys I NEED to rant about my thoughts on Nuru because i love her <3 ramblings ahead

Like I feel like in almost every fic i read, she's just like, a side character that's there to make whitty remarks to Hugo and be the levelheaded one. If she has an insecurity or problem it's usually pretty surface level and solved quickly, or only mentioned once or twice. I think there are SO many aspects of her character that are so cool.

Okay first, I think we sometimes forget that she's a nerd just like the rest of the gang. Yes, on the outside she's definetly the most 'normal' one, but I think we should concider the fact that she's the only girl in the group, and she's literal royalty. She was raised with a completely different set of standards than the other three. I don’t think I've really ever seen anyone cover that. I feel like she would get called "mature for her age" when she's only 15/16, and almost always gets critisism when she talks back with her own ideas (like her concerns about the meteor shows for example). I feel like out on her journey, she would finally get the freedom to just be herself, and be a kid and be able to rant on about her intrests with the rest of the group. It could be a struggle at first, but it would be awesome to see her getting more comfortable with the group the longer they spend together! Nerds encouraging nerdy rants lol

Since she is a kingdom figurehead, you could also argue that she always has a lot on her hands (especially since she's very proactive when it comes to science and solving problems). This could bring up a need to be productive, or always feeling like she needs to make the right decision, even for the littlest things.

I also feel like a lot of the time she's potrayed as the "right" one, who is 100% right when it comes to stuff like arguing with Hugo. Since they're opposites when it comes to class, they often are compared through that lense. I think it's cool just having Nuru tell Hugo off for judging a book by its cover, but I feel like they have a lot more in common than they realize. I think it would be interesting to see Nuru judging a book by its cover too. Maybe not to the degree that Hugo does, but I feel like calling out both their judging would not only call out character flaws, but it also enforces that even though they hate eachother and would never want to be like the other, they have a lot of the same flaws.

Also, being sheltered in a palace her whole life, I think she might think kind of black and white sometimes, and while she knows when people are just being mean as an act, she might struggle when it comes to people like reformed criminals.

Maybe she's able to be meaner to Hugo because she justifies it by telling herself he's criminal, and therefore bad, possibly glossing over the reasons he might be like that (maybe it crosses her mind, but she tells herself it's not a good enough reason, because stealing is still stealing, and he literally steals EVERYTHING. Even little trinkets and stuff he definitely doesn't need!). When they find out about Varian's criminal history, maybe she reexamines her views on morality and how she used to see people, because by her standards, Varian is a 'bad guy' who's caused harm to SO many people, but he's also the kind, caring, helpful friend that she's been traveling with who would never willingly hurt anyone.

Moving on to Amber x Nuru, I honestly never find myself liking the ship because Amber isn't developed enough which is fine. I don't think every character has to be a magnificent work of art. Side characters are side characters, but their romance is usually written like: "wow that girl is cute! I have a crush now!" Which is cool, but then that's about as far as it gets, then timeskip! Or offscreen they're a couple now. I know it's a side couple so it won't have as much devlopment as something like Varigo, but I never really see their dynamic play out in different situations. Like I don't know how to explain it, but it feels like they solely exist to be a couple? Amber sometimes just feels like an extention of Nuru, and their relationship feels surface level a lot of the time.

I feel like too often she's just watered down to the nice, smart, grounded friend, and I don't know I just think there’s so much more to explore with her. She’s not just some side character. She's literally part of the main cast! Even in fanart I feel like she doesn't really get a lot of stuff besides funny art and just like, pictures meant to look pretty. Unlike something you get a lot with characters like Varian or Hugo.

And honestly I get it. Some characters you just don't take an intrest in. I know I find Varian, Hugo, and Nuru more relatable than I find Yong, but I feel like part of that is developing their characters rather than just seeing them on a surface level. Ofc there are exceptions and there are some stories that dive deeper into Nuru's character out there! I just happen to see this A LOT.

Wow i said "surface level" a lot didn't I 😭😭

Anyway thank you for reading my rant i wanna know what you guys think!!

[thedenofravenpuff]

Intelligence in DCA on TSAMS - A thought

Thoughts that been stuck with me for a bit

Through dimensions and story arcs of TSAMS-verse, Moons are typically depicted as the brainy but rash ones, Suns the emotional and empathetic ones. To a degree where Suns often gets put down as dumb and whatnot.

Eclipses are intelligent, taking after Moons, but having bits extra to prove themselves a challenge for Moons to face off. Since they are a bit of a fusion of the two to create a whole, and their intelligence depending on the directions they choose (OG Eclipse obsessed with replacing Moon, chosing cold logic. Solar taking after Sun, showing care yet having handy knowhow in most things he dabbles in).

Then we got Ruin, a "true Eclipse" so to speak. A perfect fusion of the two, not creating an unwanted code but putting their own existing codes together into something new and balanced. Moon's intelligence with Sun's theatrics and social intelligence. Creating a perfect actor for any situation, a sociopath with perfect logic and willingness to lower himself to act a lunatic or a coward for whatever gains he aims for. His intelligence surpassing Moon's, creating a machine able to ERASE the existence of cornerstones to dimensions for a single-minded cause.

Then there's Dark Sun. A Sun who snapped. Tired of being pushed around and belittled, he didn't fuse with his Moon but STOLE his intelligence, cannibalising on it to ad to his own intelligence. But staying a Sun. A Sun choosing cold logic, for the want to be left alone or in control. Seeing patterns differently from how a Moon would with his social intelligence, to pull strings and create a scheme even larger than Ruin ever could imagine. His true goal still unknown.

I find Dark Sun specially interesting for this. The way they keep pushing that Suns are dumb or useless, yet here's one who was proactive for his own cause and wants. Beyond what any Moon or Eclipse could foresee.

There's a huge difference in knowledge and intelligence. In knowing facts and being able to read people. To be able to create solutions and to solving issues yourself.

Those lines often cross, but is also often forgotten, especially on TSAMS.

Just some thoughts, based on how often cold intelligence is used to solve things, or empathetic social intelligence is used to build up things. Suns get a bad rep among those who consider themselves geniuses. Lord Eclipse even bashing on Dark Sun for "leaving it to others to do things for him", as if he ain't manipulating everything behind the scenes without needing a star or to be a fusion of codes.

Thanks for reading my ramble

[marengogo]

Rambling in INFJese - Part 10: Queerful In South Korea

SGMB and RPWP focused playlist

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

🐺 — 🐺 — 🐺—

Gurls, Bois and Enbies … Hellooooooooooo 📢 Yes, I’m finally, officially, back from my travels.

Am I feeling relaxed and refreshed?

NO.

In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m more tired than when I left 😬. You see, there was more excitement than I thought, or even budgeted for, but, lowkey highkey I knew it was going to turn out like that, so, it was what it was and it was unforgettable 😊💜. 

Now, on to the topic of today!

As the title kinda spoils, I would like to bring forth the topic of queerness in present day Korea, touching upon specific sub-subjects within this main-theme, which you will discover as you keep reading.

In order to provide more context and understanding, I’ll have to bring up a bit of Geography, a tad of Politics and a lot of History, and let me make this clear, even though I have been out of politics for quite some time I used to be very invested in world politics … I am presently indeed somewhat annoyed, because there seems to be a lot of misinformation that has been going around with regards to what it might mean to be gay/queer person in South Korea, in the big year of 2024, which is why I’d also like to encourage us to be proactive and do some research, on our own, with the available resources that are out there. I know it sounds heavy, but I promise I’ll try and make it as least cumbersome, and as much relatable to what might concern all Queer people, and JK and JM of course, as possible ✌🏾.

Let’s start with some Geography.

Asia … is a big ass continent. Because it is so big, amongst the people who make these kind of decisions, it was decided that this continent would have to be divided into 5 regions: Central, East, South, Southeast and West. The regions we are going to be concerned with are East and Southeast also known as ASEAN. The East has a total of 8 countries, out of which we are going to focus on 4 being; China, Japan, South Korea and Taiwan, while the Southeast has a total of 11, out of which we are only going to concentrate on 1, being Thailand … aaand that was all for Geography; painless right?

Great. So now it is time for some of History. We are now going to be talking about the history of the BL genre and the Queer art genre within two particular cultures; Eastern and Western.

BL, otherwise known as Boy’s Love, is a genre that was born in Japan in the 1970s. To properly discuss the world of BL it would take way too many blogs, so I’m afraid I won’t delve too deep into it, but in order to proceed with our discourse I need for everyone to at least understand the substantial difference between, for example, a series like The Eight Sense and Heartstopper. The first is a BL and the other is a Queer Coming-of-Age Drama. These two series are the I most point out very positive outcome of a lot of struggle and progress within both the BL and Queer art genre through the years.

The East and BLs - BL was created by women to be consumed by other women in Japan. It had nothing to do with creating content for gay/queer people, and this is very fundamental for everyone to understand. The thing is that it doesn’t matter where in the world you are, if you are or were a girl/woman you know the struggles are real. Different parts of the world deal with this frustration in different ways, and Japan and eventually the other 4 Asian countries I listed above found this to be one of them. The BL genre is basically having two men in a forbidden relationship, driven by mad passion, and who would always choose each other over the rest of the world. Star crossed-lovers where one of them would always be the Seme/Top or male-male and the other the Uke/Bottom or female-male. At the core of it all, BL was intended to be escapism, which eventually turned into fetishism and now can be all the above and something else entirely; evolution aye?

Mainly Asian women perhaps used BL to feel like their opinions and emotions could matter, in an environment where like also many other countries in Africa men are the ones that have the last say, or just any say at all. So they fulfilled their fantasy of being heard, and having power, while at the same time having the “strongest/most ideal” of men fall desperately in love with this male version of themselves. It is obviously much more complex than my two line sentence explanation, but for now, kindly keep this image in your mind.

Moving on!

The West and Queer Art - The queer genre in the West for the longest time was almost always a guaranteed tragedy. Interestingly enough, even though the first movie that mentioned homosexuality was in the 1960, the beginning of Queer culture in movies was, also for the West, in the 1970s. I can’t tell you the amount of books and films I have read and seen in my day says the woman in her thirties LOL and, despite the heart-wrenching looming tragedy, I would still enjoy finding comfort during those few chapters/scenes when the couple/pairing was happy, even though I knew for a fact that either one of them or both would die, or be eternally separated, or some other kind of tragedy.

The funny thing is that I would just accept it, because why not? Is not like my reality showed any different. It wasn’t like I was aware of happy and successful queer people around me, so why would I expect to read or watch anything else? Also I am a nasty ass angsty person so really I have no excuse. 

… are y’all following me thus far?

Now, let’s take a bit of a leap into the 2000s where money-makers finally clocked in on the fact that there is mad-money that can be made with BL in the East and Queerness in the West. In the East we start adopting fanservice within boybands and Asian-Dramas, we start printing thousands of BL mangas, and producing as many animes to match. In the West we keep having the token queer comedian appear on every show as well as making movies of historic queer figures who have impacted the world somehow, so that the queers can feel represented, even though all the actors are for the most part straight, because at this point in time, even though we acknowledge that Queer people exist, coming out is still very meh.

As the 2000s progress and we enter the 2010s thanks to actual progress within some western countries, the interweb and social media it becomes increasingly easier for an Eastern Fujoshi/Fudanshi/Fujin (Bl lover girl/boy/enby) to find themselves in say the UK, which has areas that breathe queerness and queer history and for a Western Queer to find themselves in say Japan where they can easily buy a manga about “queers” in happy relationship or, somewhere in South Korea, can easily see two very attractive boys/girls from a random kpop band openly kiss.

And then, in the midst of this “cultural” exchange, and awakening, something happens.

The Eastern Fujoshi/Fudanshi/Fujin realise that there are actual real queer people in the world sounds stupid, but believe me, it is not. That queer people are not just characters in a book, or anime, and that in fact there really are people in the world who are for example of the same sex and truly wanna be together and, if gay, for example, can also be both very masculine and still want to be together. At the same time the Western Queer realise that they actually can be happy, and that they deserves a happy ending, because some of this BLs aren’t half as bad and they sometimes make valid points and then you find out that actual queer people are now also writing BLs so things start to make some sense. 

As I mentioned, society was also changing, Queer people in the West started gaining a few rights, such as being able to get married in America and some European countries, and as a consequence, in the following decade, we now have series and movies that have Queer protagonist, with happy endings to boot! In the East, things are either not moving at all or moving a bit differently, or kinda slowly, but still it is movement. Within the countries that are moving differently, talking about Queerness is still heavy but has finally become something that they “don’t mind” just talking about and the gay neighbour is actually seen as the gay neighbour, whether they will talk to them is debatable, but at least they are recognised as such and not absurdly explained away or their existence ignored.

Now back to geography. The reason why I mentioned those 5 countries (China, Japan, South Korea, Taiwan and Thailand) is because at some point in the 2010s they were the main producers, and consumers, of BL within the Asian continent, and yes, while still being hella homophobic and, but let’s be real for a second, queer people have been around since the beginning of time, so even though BL was made and intended for women, our Queer Eastern Siblings would find a way to secretly also consume BL, being the closest thing to reading about a queer relationship, so added to the westerner consumption as well, it is no surprise that these 5 countries suddenly had a boom, despite having been being homophobic. 

Hence, it can be said that these 5 countries were on the same wavelength in the early 2010s, but what about now? With the considerable change in behaviour and thought with regards to Queer people in these countries in the early 2020s where do these 5 countries stand with regards to their Queer people and politics? Well, China has now banned BLs entirely, and I will not delve into their further lack of queer rights. Taiwan and Thailand have legalised Queer marriage. Then there is Japan which is making progress towards trying to legalise Queer marriage with to my greatest joy a successful ruling that happened this year in March related to same-sex unions … so, what about South Korea?

Well … SK is so close 🥹 … Yet so far 😫

It’s like they are taking 4 steps forward and 3 steps backwards, constantly. They are well far from China-levels which is a fucking relief I tell you! but they are dragging their feet to be at Japan-levels (and Japan is very close to Thailand and Taiwan Queer status currently). Yet, it is not as negative as it seems, or as some people try to portray it. You look around social media and they depict SK as if it were China. SK is currently facing a situation where it notices that things are changing and change is scary y’all. Resistance is the usual reaction to change, and the older generations, mainly those led by the Christian groups are not really where is at. SK’s youth and older liberal generations hold the answer to the Queer Korea questions.

So what exactly makes SK look hopeful? Well, time to get back to some History again 😘

The first Queer organisation in SK was formed in 1993 by 3 gay men and 3 lesbian women. The following year the 6 separated into 2 groups and formed the first gay organisation and the first lesbian one respectively. In 1997 we have the first demonstration for gay and lesbian rights, which then lead into 2000, the year of the first Pride Parade, which is one of the events of the very first Seol Queer Culture Festival Daegu Queer Culture Festival will be created in 2009, do keep this in mind … but another major event happened in the year 2000.

Y’all know that saying X walked so that Y could run? Well Hong Seok Cheon was basically forced to walk so that Queer Korean could learn how to properly train to run.

Though Seok-cheon is presently back to being somewhat popular again, his coming out was pretty traumatic. His career as comedian/actor started in 1994 and he was quite popular which landed him a good number of acting roles, and a lot of placements in comedy shows, as well as a kids show. In 2000 he was asked about his sexuality and he had no qualms in replying that he was gay. The show editors decided to cut out that part but a journalist gotta love them 🙃 got a hold of the footage and forced him to “elaborate”. Upon confirming, Seok-cheon lost all his jobs and was shunned verbally abused, discrimination and the lot, oh yes … by his own country. 

Not surprisingly, given that nobody in his own country wanted to interact with him, he at first thought of moving to the US to start afresh, but then decided against it. Seok-cheon decided to stay and prove to everyone in his country that he could make it and be successful again. And that he did. In 2002 he opened the first of what now is a high end chain of 9 restaurants in Itaewon. 2004 he joined the Democratic Labor Party and was selected by Time magazine as the Asian Hero of that year and in the following years Seok-cheon will keep racking up achievements  🎶🎵Did you see my bag? Did you see my bag? 🎶🎵 Namean?! (I’m not gonna list them all but you should definitely look him up and learn a bit about him, if you are interested).

But how does that connect to today? In 2008 he started his own talk show Coming Out and though there was a bit of resistance at the beginning as expected, the youth came in force and he started gaining audiences and boom! He was back on TV and slowly he’d get also a few cameos on prominent media, such as the Netflix drama Itaewon Class. Now let’s leave the lime-light for a second and let's look at the military 😬. It is vitally important that people understand that being gay is not illegal in any of the 5 countries we’ve been talking about yes, even China, but the public opinion and beliefs of each country greatly influence how their queer communities are thought of and treated.

Now, SK Military has become pretty infamous within the queer community for conducting witch-hunts in order to find out and humiliate gay soldiers, so much so that organisations such as Amnesty eventually had to step in. That being said, let's be real real real for a second. Though it is appalling what they have done to the queer soldiers, the SK military was also very famous for hazing, assaulting, causing cadets regardless of sexuality to want to unalive themselves and what more. All of the aforementioned, which put SK’s military on the map in a not so positive light globally, added to the increase in suicides, made the government address the situation, and they eventually came up with solutions such as the buddy system, which was first implemented in 2003. But, back to the gays. The most popular witch-hunt happened in 2017 where two soldiers amongst others were outed, but these particular two were found guilty of having sex off-base, during off hours.

In 2022 this conviction was overturned, the soldiers were no longer guilty and it is now no longer illegal, for queer soldiers, to have sex off-base during off-hours. You know what else happened in 2022? SK aired their first Queer reality shows, one being To Me(a)rry Queer and and the other being His Man. In 2023, His Man 2 will give us our first successful real-life queer couple, who are our beloved couple Junseong and Seongho (together known as Junseongho). They are the first queer couple to ever appear on Dazed magazine and we are all familiar with Dazed, it is not the front page like our boys get, but we all know how big of a deal this is, right?

You know what else happened in 2023? Remember that Daegu Queer Culture Festival I was talking about? The Mayor of Daegu (big Christian sympathiser) tried to stop this festival which includes the Parade and many other events, even though the Court ruled it was okay for the Festival to be carried out. The Mayor gathered other supporters and pulled up to the group, but the Daegu Police protected the Festival and removed the mayor and his “friends” from the premises. This was big and made news worldwide. 

In fact, Daegu’s Queer Culture Festival is the second largest one in the country, after Seoul’s. This is mainly possible because the Local Authorities (such as the police) are quite independent in belief from their present Mayor and the Christian factions. In contrast, for example, Busan’s Queer Culture Festival had a two year run but was then cancelled in 2019. Unfortunately, in Busan, The Mayor, the Local Authorities and the Christian factions are buddy-buddies making it much harder to get protection and permissions, aaaaaand things like that, kids, is why it is super important to vote for your local administration as well.

Even though these are all very important stepping stones, SK is nowhere close to being the UK, obviously. The LGBTQ community still has to get all their core rights being legalised, and queer people can still be subject to random ass attacks, such as the singer Holland had in 2022, which, by the way, also still occasionally does happen in the UK and everywhere else in the Queer World. Which is a general minority reality I’m afraid.

Furthermore, it is still illegal to have sex on base, which the country maintains that they are upholding because they are trying to prevent possible sexual assaults not too mad about this tbh, which is a valid concern, but most importantly they now know that the world is watching and why is that important? Because, for example, even though they are now separated, one of the boys from the Me(a)rry Queer couples enlisted around the same time with JK & JM and from his posts and photo-booth pictures that other soldiers posted of him, he seems to be making friends and to be comfy as comfy as you can get while serving, kinda like Joonie and most likely JM & JK

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Not quite the attitude of someone fearing a witch-hunt, right? But then again, there isn’t much to hunt when you are already out, it is afterall illegal to hunt people and the world is now aware; is there? …

Now back to the general people of SK. According to a survey conducted in 2023 last year, 56% of South Koreans still oppose same-sex marriage (in comparison with only 26% of Japanese). 56% is not bad but then 72% don’t want queer people in their neighbourhoods and  workplace, though 81% think that it is not right to terminate people because of their sexual orientation 4 steps ➡️3 steps ⬅️… … … Basically it’s okay to be queer here as in SK, but not here-here, perhaps over there like a queer only neighbourhood or something which at the moment is the Itaewon district. 

So yes, 2024 Queer SK is still struggling though they are not going to be overtly nasty about it, because the world is watching. I mean, don’t get me wrong, progress is progress and we love to see that, it is actually amazing, but there still needs to be a general environment where LGBTQ rights in SK need to be recognised and for queer Koreans to not be discriminated against in their social/work/family life. It is also great that Queer media is trying to transition more and more from only BL to actual Queer Drama, for example I am really looking forward to watching Love In The Big City which btw also stars Kim Go Eun.

There is still work to be done, but I think Jung Cueri, a lesbian woman who helps with the Seoul Queer Culture Festival, says it best (here is the full article https://www.dw.com/en/why-are-south-koreans-less-welcoming-of-lgbtq-neighbors/a-68698268 ):

“I think the attitudes of younger generations of Koreans are getting better," she said, pointing out that young LGBTQ+ individuals "tend to come out sooner to their families, in their workplaces and schools than my generation because they are more aware of their sexuality through social media and exposure to various discussions that are more tolerant of LGBTQ+ people." And the cultural festival can help to be a catalyst to change further, she believes. "It will get better," she said. "And that is why the organizers and everyone else involved in the festival are working so hard; they know that Korean society will get better, and they want to contribute to that.

From where I stand it seems Hopeful, Queerful, if you may.

So, Fighting!, Queer South Korea!

Always respectfully yours,

Marengo. 

[gremoria411]

*This post will contain spoilers for Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch From Mercury. Also, I’ll probably ramble more than usual here, since a lot of my points are interconnected*

Alright then. I was planning on doing a big post breakdown on Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury after rewatching it, since I find that my general thoughts on a series typically coalesce around the second viewing. However that probably won’t be for a good while yet, so I figured I’d do a big post now, and I’ll add a few notes if anything jumps out on me on my (eventual) second viewing.

In a nutshell, I found The Witch from Mercury to be really, really good, with an excellent cast and gorgeous action. However, I feel it’s let down by its comparatively low episode count.

And I’d like to stress that that low episode count is basically my only major criticism - I have several smaller ones, but they’re ultimately all extensions of that low episode count.

The Cast.

As above, really good. You’ve got a good selection of characters coming from various strata’s within society - Spacians, Earthians, Mercurians. It’s a good variety of characters and seeing how they interact with each other. They all feel pretty well-rounded as characters honestly.

Like, Suletta’s great, obviously. I feel like you don’t need me to tell you that which is great, because I’m not sure how to put it. I guess I like how emotive she is, how she portrays how she’s feeling so well, but then that might be because we, the audience are close to her as a protagonist (I’d argue that Miorine and Guel could also be counted as protagonists, if you wanted, but Suletta’s the one we spend the most time with). Suletta’s also good because she’s a newcomer to the Asticassia, so not only do we learn things with her but she’s also absolutely primed to upend the status quo there, which she does fantastically. I like the contrast between her doubts and capabilities - she’s not the most social of characters and doubts herself multiple times, but put her in a mobile suit and she is confidence incarnate.

Miorine feels like an extension of Gundam’s “Princess” archetype: your Sayla, your Relena, your Lacus. I really like how proactive she is - we first meet her in the process of attempting to run away from her school, and her arc feels more about her recognising the power she weirds and how to best use it for what she wants, rather than rejecting it outright. She’s in the process of actively cultivating “soft power” (negotiations, word-of-mouth, etc) rather than just having it inherently and -crucially- because the hard power isn’t actually that valuable. Compared to, say, SEED. Lacus has a whole lot of soft power, but it’s Kira and the Freedom that’s the driving force of the plot. Suletta has Hard Power - Aerial, but it’s borrowed power fundamentally, and it’s Miorine’s soft power that ultimately does more good. Actual Diplomacy versus Gunboat Diplomacy, if you will. I also like how Suletta and Miorine’s relationship progresses - they balance out each other - it starts out with Suletta having the power Miorine needs, but as Miorine grows they start relying more on each other. Also their interactions together are really great. They’re compelling because of both who they are in universe - a pilot and a princess, and because of their personalities with each other and how they spur each others development.

I do want to call out Lady Prospera as being amazing. She feels exactly how Char would be as a mother - manipulative and ruthless, but still caring in her own way. I’m given to understand she’s the first female Char Clone in the series, which is neat. Her relationship with Suletta (and Miorine) is just really good. She’s not unpleasant and she’s certainly charming, but she won’t sugarcoat how things are. Miorine knows she’s being manipulated in her interactions with her, but it’s genuinely good advice so she goes along with it, even as she has her own reservations. It’s also rather telling that once Prospera doesn’t need Suletta anymore, she leaves her. While callous and heart-breaking, we know now that Prospera fully believed she was going to die. While this doesn’t exactly forgive her abandoning Suletta, it does cast her interest in Suletta making friends and having relationships outside her in a new light. Prospera wants vengeance for Nadim and the rest of the Vanadis Institute, but she recognises that that is her and Eri’s vengeance, not Suletta’s. And doesn’t that sound similar to Mr Char “I have never once betrayed any one, in my life, ever” Aznable, who just wants his sister to grow up in peace while he avenges their family? It’s a fun relationship dynamic and it’s done well, is what I’m getting at. I also like how unapologetically villainous she is in some of her actions - both the audience and Miorine kinda clock her as a threat immediately, but we can also see why Suletta trusts her so much, even if it’s not the healthiest relationship. I just really like the juxtaposition of her being sweet with Suletta, uncompromising with Miorine, and absolutely brutal with everyone else.

Setting

I find the school setting genuinely fascinating, I don’t have a clever segue so I’m just going to get into it.

Asticassia School of Technology is a school to pilot giant robots. Great, Instantly appealing. However, then you get into all the ways it’s indicative of the wider society. It’s maintained and run by the Benerit Group - a Mega-Corporation that dominates the field of military-use mobile suits, which requires actual military force to be brought to heel and is basically a sovereign nation all its own - it’s rather telling that we never really see any national representatives throughout G-Witch, it’s all about the companies. So it takes this normally aspirational thing “wow, a school to pilot giant robots!” And extrapolates it out to what kind of setting would create that. Giant Robots are used in military applications, so you end up with a facility basically dedicated to the production of child soldiers to serve this military-industrial complex actively profiting from the glaring class inequality present in the setting, as set out in the prologue. And because the characters exist within that system there is no “easy fix”, the story ends with the characters making small progress against those inequalities rather than solving them in one fell swoop because the inequalities are systemic, and you can’t just take out the superweapon and expect everything to work out on its own. The existence of child soldiers is baked into the setting- not as a desperate gamble or as an illustration of the necessities of survival, as in other series. But as an accepted and -crucially- normalised thing. Notably, no-one expresses surprise or horror at Sophie and Norea being pilots - just that they’re a threat and have GUND Format units. We also see several child soldiers in Fold of Dawn in addition to Asticassia itself, so there’s also the angle of generational differences - the children exist in an unfair world built and maintained by the adults, fighting for the causes they are taught to. Many of the Benerit Heirs have unhealthy relationships with their parental figures, typically conflicting over them wanting different things (Guel vs Vim’s expectations, Shaddiq going out from under Sarius and basically everything about the Elan’s). So there’s the angle of the children fighting against the unfair world of adults, tying into the familial relationships in the cast. Which is a theme Gundam’s got a lot out of historically. So the school setting shows to illustrate how Ad Stella is civilised a first glance, but far more beneath the surface, and demonstrates several of the issues inherent in the setting.

I also really love how GUND format is actively debilitating to its pilots and how Suletta, while still a very good pilot, is essentially unbeatable because she has a way around the downsides for most of the series. Because it feels like an examination of “the Gundam is the strongest mobile suit”. G-Witch essentially states that having a stronger or better weapon does not solve these problems, in fact, the various elements of the company all fighting over Aerial gets several people killed, so if anything it feels like a takedown of “Gundam” as a concept (ie This great strong weapon that will win us the war”). It also puts emphasis on themes of dehumanisation - both the Elan’s and Sophie&Norea show that child experimentation, while not exactly common, isn’t unfamiliar ground in Ad Stella, particularly with Elan being replaceable, which again ties into the child soldier angle. I also find it delightfully hypocritical that Benerit, the weapon merchants, have issues with it because of the PR backlash of it killing its pilots, not because of any “moral” reason. It’s a bad look to have a weapon that can harm its user - who’s going to want to pay for that? The militant liquidation of Ochs Earth was essentially a PR stunt to show that Benerit will not make these weapons (not that that stopped Peil). Which is really horrifying to think about, really.

The Space Assembly League, Quiet Zero and the Interplanetary Laser Transmission System (or ITLS, that big gun in the finale) all function as illustrations of the excess of corporate power - a near full-scale war/ large scale destruction is only prevented because of Suletta and Ericht’s intervention. The SAL functions as a regulatory body for the corporations, but while it isn’t exactly lacking in force, it acts far too late to prevent the damage - Benerit has been allowed to run independently for too long, so it’s difficult to pull back even with evidence and force because it’s just so big. Meanwhile, the ITLS was constructed under the guide of a power transmission system, but it’s intended to be fired as a weapon. Furthermore, the destruction it will cause is written off as “Oh, Peil will get the reconstruction contract”, killing hundreds for corporate gain. The fact that it’s Peil specifically is also notable, since they are probably the most ethically bankrupt of the three corporations and were actively involved in the GUND-format technology themselves. But because the corrupt elements of the governing body favour them (and can presumably cut a deal for reconstruction costs), much of their misdeeds would have essentially been swept under the rug. Notably, other than their stock plummeting, we don’t actually see much in the way of consequences for the Peil CEO’s.

Mechanics

A fairly short one here - I’ll admit I’m not crazy about a lot of the mobile suits in Ad Stellar, but I like how each company has a different designer and are different thematically. Jeturk has big, bulky beetle-esque machines - heavily armoured and analogous to Zaku’s and other grunt suits from the series. Peil focuses on mobility - spindly MS with lots of thrusters, and typically deployed with aerial combat in mind. Finally, Grassley tends to lean towards units with exotic systems, such as the Michaelis’ beam bracer and Anti-GUND format and often have monoeyes. It’s a good illustration of the competing philosophies within the group and each one is distinct and easily recognisable (Burion’s utilitarian, I don’t have much more to say on it). It also emphasises what a big shakeup the Gundam’s are, since they look so different, and can put down any of these units with little trouble. I rather wish we saw more of the smaller developers - those units Suletta swatted aside en masse with the Aerial Rebuild, since they seemed to have a greater variety of designs (I particularly liked the little Acguy-looking one - the Hosler II?). Also, really liked the Prodoros used by Dawn of Fold (though that’s likely due to how it moves).

Criticisms

Or rather Criticism. Your typical Gundam series is usually around 40-50 episodes, whereas Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury is a comparatively paltry 25. Now, one series having a lower episode count than another isn’t inherently a point against it - better a short story well told rather than a long story poorly told, and it’s a new show, and (despite my persistent comparisons with other Gundam shows) should be allowed to stand and be judged on its own merits. But it kinda feels like it was meant to be a 40-50 episode series that was cut-down mid-production and fundamentally, it feels like we could’ve gotten more.

The pacing of the second season ratchets up considerably compared to the first, and I would like to stress that Witch From Mercury is a very-well-paced show - every episode has some sort of plot development, but it feels like that’s because it had to be. And every criticism I have of the show feels like it flows from that cut-down episode count.

It kinda feels like Peil Industries was supposed to be a much bigger player in this, and the Pharact doesn’t really do anything after its opening fight.

Peil’s never brought to justice, and Elan 5 just decides to join Earth House’s move on Quiet Zero. Meanwhile, the real Elan Ceres just resigns from Peil, even though he was presumably in on the Enhanced Person stuff too.

Lauda’s whole subplot about him piloting the Schwarzette had very little foreshadowing - I assume they put just enough of it in that they couldn’t cut it entirely (i.e. the Schwarzette), and it was necessary for Guel’s character arc.

Guel taking over Jeturk Heavy Industries didn’t really go anywhere.

Sophie Pulone and Norea Du Noc are really only there to tick gundam’s “Doomed Child Soldiers” box. Also Dawn of Fold just…… still exists after the events of the series?

The fact that Ochs Earth was still a thing kinda didn’t amount to much did it? Prospera just destroys them and their Gundam Lfrith’s. The ones used by Dawn of Fold might have well been older models, scavenged or bought by them.

Chuatury (Chuchu) Panlunch - great character, great design, excellent illustration of the tensions of the setting, but it feels like she was supposed to have a subplot focused on the people supporting her on Earth.

It just feels like they made the first 12 episodes of a 40-50 episode series, with a bunch of setup that’d pay off later, and then they got cut down to 24 episodes and had to cut a lot of stuff to fit. I’d like to stress I think they made a good compromise - most of my criticisms are minor and the Suletta and Miorine are the heart of the series, and they come out very well. But all the same, I’d rather the compromise didn’t need to be made in the first place, so we could’ve seen the “full thing” as it were.

Even my….. restraint on the mobile suits designs can be pinned on this. My favourite designs are typically Monster of the Week and late-season Weirdo’s - the stuff that’s the purview of your charismatic villain or a specialised grunt. But if you’ve got to cut stuff for space and time, then by their very nature, those designs won’t stick around.

I should however mention that I’ve been unable to find any reputable source as to wether The Witch From Mercury did have its episode count cut, before or during production. My criticism is mostly about the series feeling like it should have had more, not that it was actually cut down. It is possible that Bandai wanted to see if the show could make a comparative return on a smaller budget than usual, especially considering most of their recent Gundam output has been adaptations (IE. Shows that already have a proven audience and prior success, and are consequently a lot less financially risky), like Unicorn or Thunderbolt.

All that said, I do think that the emotional core of the show - Suletta and Miorine was excellently done, and I found the action and themes to be similarly well-done. I’m mostly only complaining we didn’t get to see more of the world, since it has so many interesting concepts that feel like they would’ve been interesting to see.

[bibellebibuck]

Finale Thoughts

This is a long ramble that I’ve attempted to categorise and form into something coherent - but bear with me if there’s any mistakes, I’m working rn and didn’t have time to proofread🙏🏻

HENREN & MADNEY

I adore Madney and how inherently GOOD they are all the damn time. My favourite straights ever.

I know there’s differing opinions on this plot line but honestly I am glad that Madney are fostering Mara, for Maras sake. It’s a safe space her for where she’ll be loved and can keep in contact with Henren.

I do agree, though, that the constant struggles they put Henren through as they try to build their family is getting old and tired now, let them off the struggle bus, it’s time for a breather.

It’s a testament to how rushed this episode was that we didn’t even SEE the councilwoman at all. She just drops this bomb on the Henren family last episode and then disappears? No follow up? Okay.

My thoughts/hopes on these guys for S8 are; Madney will be left as they are once the Mara storyline is resolved (which I think won’t take long after the whole Gerrard situation is sorted) as they’ve had a lot going on with their wedding etc. I think they’ll be put aside for a while while other characters stories are expanded this season. I think it’s a possibility we’ll get another Buckley-Han baby after they see the sibling dynamic between Mara and Jee. Afterall, it was Maddie who commented on Denny and Mara “getting along so well” “like siblings”.

Henren specifically id like to see more of, I want Karen and DENNY! to have more screentime. Karen’s job is fucking interesting, SHOW US MORE SOMEHOW!! And Denny, what’s going on with his relationship with his dad now? This kids a great actor, give him a little more screen time.

BATHENA & AMIR

Now, Athena was bad ASS this episode. I love BAMF Athena with all my heart, that’s literally my mother. Her talk with Amir was emotional and I think well written (one of the few well written moments in this episode..) but it all went downhill from there. Amir’s rescue was rushed as fuck, I wasn’t tense at all, Athena basically showed up, burnt the place down and sauntered out with Amir like it was nothing. Ofc my girl is capable of this no problem… but it wouldn’t have hurt to have had more of a fight scene, maybe Amir being a little more proactive, then show them struggling to get out of the fire? Idk. Just SOMETHING to expand on the scene a little. I did like “I’m Mrs Bobby Nash” though, hell yeah you are <3

Oh also Yay! May sighted!! Love my girl, wanna see more of her in S8 I miss her sooo much :(

For S8, I think Bathenas marriage issues should be gently explored a little more, i feel this plot line wasn’t properly resolved during the cruise eps? Idk maybe I’m just a nervous child of divorce but I’d like to see some of their trust issues put to rest. I mean, just an episode ago Athena was terrified Bobby was going to off himself, and Bobby literally retired without telling her. It’s not healthy, I wanna see them work it out and get stronger together. I don’t want more conflict between them to cause this though, maybe they just start up a conversation when things have calmed down and agree to talk it out or go to couples therapy or something. Leaving them where they are right now will feel like a dropped plot line.

I want to see more of Amir but I sincerely doubt we will, I have a feeling he won’t even be seen in S8 at all to be honest. It’s a shame, he’s an interesting character that I’d totally love the see explored more. Someone suggested he could be a connection opportunity for the hospital? I like that. Tim, take notes !!

I also want them to stop murdering Angela Bassets hair. Let her slay, please.

BUDDIE

I wish I had more to say here, but sadly… I don’t. My heart is telling me we’ve been gently queer baited once again, but I think that’s just old scars hurting (Destiel and johnlock survivor ✊🏻), my head is telling me a lot of the hype was stirred up by us as fans giving journalists and actors comments a little too much credit.

This isn’t to say I don’t think Buddie is happening, i still have my naive little belief that if WILL be canon eventually. They’re just going to drag it out as long as possible for the drama and possibly to appease Those fans, and the older viewer base who won’t be pleased by buddie canon.

I was very disappointed by the scene after Chris left, where Buck just put his hand on Eddies shoulder. We can say all we like that the shoulder touch is Their Thing™️ but in that situation a hug was absolutely goddamn necessary. Idc about shipping, that man needed a hug from his best friend in that moment. I think Buck needed it too. They just said goodbye to their son for an indefinite amount of time ffs why are we standing here like absolute mugs.

S8 - I want gay Eddie this season. I want it.

I want gay Eddie and then I want them both to be single for a while and Then I want buddie. If they can fit this into season 8 while keeping a nice steady pace (I have little faith after this insanely rushed finale, but let’s give them the benefit of the short season doubt) then I want Buddie feelings realisation towards the end of S8.. possibly setting up canon for S9 or even ending S8 with canon and a cliffhanger.. maybe a good one this time though!

As much as I’d like to see Buck supporting Eddie as he navigates life without Christopher, I don’t think we’ll get many scenes between them at first. I think this is where Ryan is talking about Eddies isolation. He’s going to go to work, be with his family, then go home and be without his family, and it’s at this time that he’s going to be working on himself. To get better for Chris, and for his own mental health. This journey is his alone, and I think it (although a little painful) makes sense that Buck isn’t involved in this too much.

EDDIE & CHRIS

To sum it up.. OUCH!

Eddie is an amazing father, and if you think otherwise just block me. He made a mistake with Kim, that does not make him a bad father. Him respecting Christopher’s space and choices in this ep was soooo healing and lovely to see, he called Buck because he knows Chris trusts and loves him and needed somebody to talk to, and knew he wasn’t the person for that right now.

I’ve seen some people bothered about how it’s unrealistic for the Diaz parents to have gotten to eddies so fast after the incident. To this I say, how are you not used to 911s complete disregard for timelines/timeline realism at this point? Just let it happen and move on, like it’s a fantasy land where time isn’t real. Now, I’m not American so maybe I don’t get the extent of the distance between LA/Texas - but still, I enjoy the show more I think, because I don’t overanalyse the timeline 😅

What I DO find unrealistic is that Chris would call his grandparents and not Buck. I’m not looking at this through shipping lenses either, I’m saying that when Eddie had his breakdown, Chris’s first instinct was to call Buck. When Chris was upset and scared at the Ana situation, he went straight to Buck. And now this, he doesn’t talk to Buck at all before calling his grandparents?

It makes sense that he wanted to go to Texas as if he stayed with Buck he wouldn’t really be getting much space from his dad, and maybe he’d be thinking that Buck/Eddie would be on his case trying to force forgiveness on him while he’s there. But I think he first instinct would still have been to Call Buck to discuss the situation first, to confide in him, ask for help. Then he’d call his grandparents.

For S8 - I hate to be a downer but I don’t think we’ll see Chris this season. At LEAST the entirely of 8a, anyways.

As I mentioned earlier, I think this season will show Eddie growing and healing from this situation and becoming the person he wants to be, for himself and for Chris.

I think there is a lot of potential for us to finally get some Eddie & Maddie scenes, she could open a conversation with Eddie about her own struggles with feeling like an unfit parent for Jee - maybe Buck initiates this conversation, asking Maddie to speak to him?

I hope he will finally be able to put his insecurities about his parenting aside and stop trying to find Chris a mother figure, and accept that they’re a fine (wonderful, even) family unit as they are.

BUMMY / BT

Ooooohhh lord let’s get into it then.

It’s no secret that I hate this relationship. I do NOT hate it because I am a Buddie shipper, or because I’m homophobic (the fact that I have to clarify this is stupid, but the anon hate in my inbox means it’s necessary). When BiBuck became canon, I was OVERJOYED! I was excited to see Buck exploring his identity and enjoying a relationship with a new partner (I did want him to be single for a while originally, but it wasn’t a big deal, the Natalia relationship was barely a relationship anyways).

I initially had a bit of an ick from the way Tk kissed Buck to ~shut him up~ but I’m a bit of a hypocrite here because I don’t entirely hate this trope usually, but only when it’s between two well established characters who know each other well. At this point, Tk is still new to Buck so it did bother me a little. But, we move.

Then… the first date. I fucking hated this date, Tk almost outed Buck and then left him on the pavement like an a class ASS. I lost all interest in this relationship at this exact moment.

In this episode, on this date, we see Buck opening up about his relationship with Bobby as a father figure (WIN!! Let’s appreciate our small victories!!). Tk then gives us “but your fathers alive” which ?? What’s your point?? Why aren’t you comforting your partner right now?

And shared his own experience with having a shitty dad. We then get the daddy issues joke.

To detour for a moment; we all remember when Buck went to therapy and opened up about his sex addiction, right? How he was being vulnerable about his trauma/mental health, to the point that he was in actual tears… and then his therapist came onto him and slept with him. The show brushes this under the rug and even later makes a joke about it. We’ve all expressed our distaste for this in the past and rightly so. Aside from how morally wrong it was, it was also incredibly distasteful in a very real way.

We’re given a very close repeat of this situation in the finale. Tommy sexualising Bucks trauma is not only unfair on bucks character, but also a shitty slap in the face to real people in the real world too. How many times have we been sexualised for having “daddy issues”? The answer is a lot. This scene was Downright Offensive.

It’s so disappointing because in some ways this show is so progressive, and has handled some sensitive topics in such a great way in the past. But it’s really fumbled the bag with this one.

A large and hopeful part of me thinks all these tense/awkward/unhappy/unsatisfying BT scenes are a setup for BT bones in S8. If they wanted us to like Tk and be invested in this relationship, SURELY they’d make him more likeable & more supportive of Buck?

The awfulness of his character and the stilted scenes between him and Buck do feel intentional. And I reaaallly hope this is the case.

S8 - preferably, BT Bones off screen before the season even begins, Natalia style.

More likely, BT bones within 8a, due to Gerard’s return and the tension this will cause between him and Tk.

Most likely, BT bones by the end of 8b. I truly truly truly, with all my heart and head and hands, do not believe BT is surviving to season 9.

BUCK

just wanted to put in a little paragraph here about Buck specially, piggybacking off of what I’ve said about his trauma being sexualised etc.

They have consistently missed opportunities to flesh out Bucks trauma, and he has MANY to choose from. If they continue to ignore this aspect of Buck, it will be a great disservice to his character. I know we all joke about wanting Buck to go through more shit situations for the angst, and how we want him to have a big breakdown at some point but honestly - it really is overdue. I don’t just want him to suffer for funsies, I want his character to make sense, I want him to continue to be massively relatable, I want him to address his trauma and work through it and move on etc. etc. etc.

Here’s hoping we get the single Eddie and Buck arcs in S8/maybe 9 and both of them get therapy, properly.

RAVI

My boooyyy!!! The framing of that last shot, I do reckon Ravi will main soon. They didn’t drop his insane childhood lore, and built on him as a character (while Chim was at the academy with him) for no reason.

I am personally really looking forward to seeing him get a lot more screentime in S8. It’s what the people want!!!!!!

GERRARD

Why did they act like this was such a major twist?? Like why else would they have shown him last episode..

I don’t really understand how he can have been made captain of the same firehouse he was removed from for bullying a crew that is literally still there.. but for the plot I guess we’ll go with it!

I look forward to him finally getting his comeuppance in season 8, but the asshole he’s going to be to everyone sounds less fun.

Let’s look at what we might have in store, hm?

-Racist to Chim, Hen and now probably Ravi too.

-Homophobic to Buck.

-If Bobby is around, no doubt he’ll be demeaning to him.

-And, i fear, if he somehow knows about Eddies current situation, will he make snide remarks about him as a father? Idk, I wouldn’t put anything past the bastard.

I’d really like to see the team take a stand against him though, I know he’s their captain for now and they will, to an extent, respect him (or at least do as he says). But it would be nice to see some firefam crew solidarity the face of his bigotry and bullying. It won’t be realistic if any of them just stand by and listen/watch while he makes shitty racism/homophobic jokes to their family.

Going to be a fun (🫠) few episodes!

FINAL THOUGHTS

As an episode, this wasn’t horrendous, but certainly not great. As a finale, it was terrible. Underwhelming sums it up, disappointing emphasises it nicely.

I look forward to getting back to a full length season that has hopefully will be written a little more in advance than this one was. Let’s be optimistic, or this hiatus won’t be too enjoyable.

Can’t wait to spend the next few months binging Buddie fics and reading all your theories!! And don’t forget we get S8 BTS pics in just a few weeks 😭🫶🏻

Feel free to send me any asks if there’s something I’ve forgotten to mention that you’d like my thoughts on - or if you have any theories etc. I love to get asks from your guys 💛

[sketchbook-gal-xe]

Here's pair of messy drawings of some mewtwos I saw in a dream the other day!

Not sure what all to say about them, but this dream was really cool! had a storyline and everything! the only thing it didn't have was their names. I thought their designs were super cool so I tried to recreate them to the best of my ability (Near identical from what I can recall :3)

more character rambles below!

Chroma is very determined and proactive, focusing on what needs to done even if it hurts him (leaving them quite emotionally withdrawn) they might seem a bit selfish at times, but they will not hesitate to help someone (Xe jumped Infront of Parfait to save them from a near deadly attack!)

Parfait is more optimistic, cheerful and quite resourceful. Chroma makes the big plans, Fae focuses on smaller things like making sure everyone is happy and taken care of, usually in charge of food and bandages (when Chroma was injured Fae dropped everything to make sure they recovered)

I'll probably use them as background characters for my main story and I might try to make a comic of their story from the dream :)

[woggle-bugger-me]

The Royal Book of Oz is so much worse than I thought.

Ok, so before today I'd never actually read The Royal Book of Oz (AKA the 15th Oz book and the first one written by Ruth Plumly Thompson) all the way through, having only read extracts. I knew it had racist content, but I figured I'd give it a chance so I could form my own opinion.

My opinion is... My god. It's so bad.

Anyway, here are my rambling thoughts. Warning: Racism and xenophobia are discussed. Here we go...

Rant no. 1: The Silver Island

Pretty much everyone in the Oz fandom knows that the Silver Islanders (or "Silvermen" as they are called, which is gross) are an outdated, racist depiction of a fantasy East Asian culture. This isn't news. But what I find interesting is that they... don't really do much wrong. Yes, they kind of kidnap the Scarecrow, but they think he's their long-lost emperor. They do treat their servants badly, which is portrayed by the narrative as a bad thing, but the narrative also treats literally all of their cultural practices as wrong in some way, and the way they treat their servants is not portrayed as being worse than anything else.

The Silver Islanders are characterised is a similar way to the various small communities that appear in the Baum books. They're eccentric, but mostly harmless. However the Scarecrow (and by extension the narrative, since we are supposed to agree with the Scarecrow's viewpoint) views them as this group of immoral wierdos who's way of life is inherently inferior to the Ozian way of life. To be clear, the fact that they're not all evil villains is a good thing - it'd be way more offensive to depict them as all being antagonistic - but that doesn't change the fact that we, the reader, are clearly supposed to see them as lesser.

In this book, the Silver Island (AKA Fantasy Asia) = bad and cringe, meanwhile Oz (AKA Fantasy America) = good and cool. That basically sums up the way the Silver Islanders are depicted.

Rant no. 2: The Scarecrow

The Scarecrow is really unpleasant in this book and it's honestly uncomfortable to read. He insults the Silver Islanders pretty much as soon as he meets them, and when he meets Happy Toko, who's the token "good" Silver Islander, he "befriends" him (I'm putting "befriends" in quotes because he treats Happy like trash throughout the entire story) and then straight-up refuses to pronounce his name correctly. Keep in mind, Happy Toko is nothing but nice to the Scarecrow the entire time, and the Scarecrow doesn't call him by his actual name once.

The Scarecrow is also a really reactive character here. He spends most of the book complaining about his situation, but barely does anything to actually improve it. Compare him with Dorothy, the other main protagonist of the book. She takes charge and is an active player in her adventure. The fact that a 12-year-old is more proactive than this adult man says a lot about the way the Scarecrow is characterised here.

He's also relentlessly rude to the Silver Islanders, insulting both their culture and them as people at every opportunity. There's this one cringeworthy scene where he attends an important meal and freaks out over the local cusine. Not only is this an unfunny, xenophobic jab at Asian cusine (haha get it? Asians eat weird food!), but it also makes no sense for the Scarecrow's character. He doesn't eat, so why does he even care?? There's also a horrible scene where he meets his grandchildren and starts full-on bullying them. He literally yells at them, calling them "little villains" because they can't find Oz on a map. They seem to be pretty young kids, by the way.

Now, it does make sense for the Scarecrow to have difficulty adapting to the Silver Island culture. He's been suddenly thrust into a very important position in a culture that he isn't familiar with. It makes sense for him to be a fish out of water. The problem is that he never changes his views or has them challenged. This isn't a story where the Scarecrow has difficulty adapting to a different culture but eventually comes to respect and appreciate them, it's a story where the Scarecrow spends all his time being racist and complaining, then fucks off back to Oz, leaving Happy Toko, a random servant, as the new emperor.

Also the Ruth Plumly Thompson books are technically considered canon, meaning that the Scarecrow is canonically a racist now. Let that sink in.

Rant no. 3: The other Ozians also suck.

To be fair, none of the other Baum characters are as awful as the Scarecrow, but they're still portrayed pretty poorly here. Here are some examples:

The Wogglebug: In fairness, the Wogglebug's always been a bit of a dickhead, so he's not that out-of-character, but I'd argure that he's even more of a dickhead here. He argues that a person's geneaology is what makes them important, which is ironic since, as Mari Ness points out in her Royal Book review, he's literally a giant insect.

The Tin Woodman: Nick's a minor character here, but there's this one bit where the Wogglebug is asking everyone about their family trees and the Tin Woodman says that he no longer associates with his meat family. It's probably a coincidence that Nick was poor, and came from a poor family, before he became Emperor of the Winkies, but still...

Also, the Wogglebug insults the Scarecrow, who later disappears, and Nick doesn't give a damn. This is his closest friend, who he clearly loves, by the way. Though tbf with the way the Scarecrow is characterised I'm not sure I can blame him.

The other Americans who moved to Oz: Don't appear here because Thompson hates any character who isn't a part of the aristocracy.

Rant no. 4: This matters.

This matters because the previous Oz books had themes of acceptence, and that you should treat other people well, even if they're different than you. Baum definitely fumbled with this in his books (shoutout to Victor the phonograph, you deserved better), but its still mostly a consistent message.

However, the message is altered here. Now, instead of "queerness doesn't matter, so long as they're friends", it's "queerness doesn't matter, unless you're poor and/or not white, then fuck you I guess." And I know people are going to read this and point out that Baum was himself racist, and that his racism bled into his books, and those people are right! We absolutely should criticise Baum's racism! But - and I'm not an expert in 1900's American racism so feel free to disagree - Baum's Oz was never as racist as Thompson's Oz.

Keep in mind that Royal Book isn't the only example of Thompson's racism. There's a later Thompson book which literally frames slaves revolting as the bad guys. Say what you will about Baum, but at least he depicted slavery as the evil that it is.

It also just sucks to see the Scarecrow being so racist, since he's one of my favourite Oz characters. I like him in Baum's books, but I hate him in this one :(

Anyway, this turned out a lot longer than I thought it would. This post was meant to be just a few bullet points but it turned into a mini essay. Turns out I had a lot more to say than I thought.

[cafeleningrad]

So me rambling about fairy tale themes in Utena again… Princes aren't the protagonists of fairy tale stories*. Correct me if you know a prince protagonist (from the Grimm collection) but… Princes are often secondary characters, objects of desire, if not a slapped-on after thought to signify a prosperous marriage.

All male protagonists from Grimm tales I know, are lower class men. There often are female protagonists, often commoners, and if they're nobility, they're princesses.

Not only is the opening narration falsifying Utena's memories - by stressing the importance of the Prince, Akio tries to impose a protagonist onto a fairy tale story (which RGU certainly is, I'm deeply convinced by that). He tries to convince everyone, and the story logic itself so hard that actually the Prince is the proactive important one whereas fairy tales are the stories of lower classes, and haunted children.

*By fairy tales I mean Grimm fairy tales. Utena seems to operate on a Grimm canon (albeit be it in it's cultural Japanese translation). By the way, if some of you notice Charles Perrault tales referenced as well, Perrault stories got incorporated in the Grimm canon as well. Messy story, I will leave it at that.

[theink-stainedfolk]

OC Questionnaire tag

Thank you for the tag @the-golden-comet

I'll take my OCs from The Tale of The King & His Knight

Famien Hywell Lorcus:

- Introvert or Extrovert?

Ambivert. Famien prefers solitude or the company of a trusted few. He values deep, meaningful connections over surface-level interactions, often keeping his thoughts and emotions guarded. His introspective nature allows him to reflect deeply on his duties and the world around him. But at the same time, he sometimes enjoys the company of his friends

- Are you a planner?

Yes. Famien is meticulous and methodical, sometimes, especially when it comes to his responsibilities as a knight. He believes that careful planning is essential for survival, both in battle and in navigating the treacherous world of court politics.

- Least Favourite Memory?

"The day my father died defending the king." Famien vividly recalls the moment his father, a loyal knight, was struck down in battle while protecting the former king. The loss left a deep scar on his heart, fueling his determination to honor his father’s legacy by serving and protecting the current king, Mirique.

Mirique Nenjassik Fiera Khemed:

- Introvert or Extrovert?

Introvert. Mirique is reserved and introspective, often retreating into his thoughts as a means of coping with his powerlessness. His introversion stems from years of being overshadowed by his minister, Farnak, and the burden of the crown that leaves him isolated from those he wishes to trust.

- Are you a planner?

No. Mirique tends to be more reactive than proactive. His lack of power and autonomy has made him more accustomed to enduring and responding to the actions of others rather than making strategic plans of his own. However, his experiences and the body swap with Famien begin to awaken a newfound desire to take control of his destiny.

- Least Favourite Memory?

"Assassinationof all my family members.... Except me" The moment Mirique fully understood that he was the only one surviving, was a crushing realization. It marked the beginning of his despair and feelings of helplessness, leading him down the dark path towards contemplating suicide.

I'll tag @finickyfelix @willtheweaver @leahnardo-da-veggie @illarian-rambling @winglesswriter @paeliae-occasionally @thecomfywriter @roarintheheavens @drchenquill @wyked-ao3